#while tails would prioritize doing what he thinks is 'the right thing' (though sometimes his emotions do get the better of him)

[prowerprojects]

(Modern Tails anon) I'm not well-versed in the comic industry either, so anything is possible to happen. (I wager if we did get a webtoon, I kinda doubt IDW being in charge of it. But who knows.)

I don't really care for the concept either, and I'm sure if he did have magical powers , people will fixate more on that than his tech skills. (As fun as it is imagining him with a kitsune-looking super form, the idea of building a super form for himself one day sounds cooler.)

Yeah, I've noticed UK's humor and media tends be more crass than America's. So I understand a bit better why Sonic is potrayed the way he is, at first. (Though I don't blame folks for side-eyeing any Sonic that badmouths a Tails.)

Understandable, I don't tend to jump on hype waves right away either, and just prefers to indulge when I ready to adsorb the media properly. (If you just wanna skip to the Tails episode, just search up "Drood Henge". I'd think you'll enjoy that at least.)

I guess we'll see soon if these shatterspace counterparts are essentially broken pieces of each of their Prime selves. (It's amusing that despite all these animated adaptions, we still don't really have one that heavily focuses on using the game-verse and its locations for its stories. It's either alternate continuity or universe shenanigans. Maybe one of these days, there's some hidden potential here.)

Here's to them having more causal scenes together, alongside action ones. It was also a nice touch that the Sonic Symphony somewhat merged their Adventure themes together. Makes you wonder how a song describing their dynamic and bond would go if Sega ever made one. (Nah, I get you. Tails often expresses wanting to be cool, heroic, helpful, very empathic and has big ambitions. [Game] Sonic generally doesn't care about status, values independence, and will be the "bad guy" if stuff came down to it. His politeness, courtesy, courage and strong sense of justice keeps him from falling completely into neutral/anti-hero territory. But he's definitely not a straight-laced one.)

I agree, even if we do get a webtoon, it probably wouldn't be affiliated with idw. Personally I would prefer it being either short slice of life stories about the main cast when they aren't adventuring or a story with a definitive beginning and end that would run for 2 or 3 webtoon "seasons", opposed to "epic adventures trying to be a continuous narrative until we get canceled" of fleetway/archie/idw. (This is just all wishful thinking of course)

Ack! Anon, I'm embarrassed. I do love imagining him with a kitsune-looking super form. 😅 I suppose when it comes to super forms my first instinct is to get defensive, like "what makes him worse than anyone else, why shouldn't he have one?" But you're also right in that compensating for mythical abilities with his own skills also sounds incredibly cool and impressive.

Yep, the UK also really leaned into Sonic having an attitude, some advertisements are very... interesting. If you (or really anyone reading this post) are interested in the UK-style humor, but want to experience a much nicer Sonic (especially when it comes to Tails), I recommend the Martin Adams novels. (I suppose I personally have a soft spot for them since they really make Tails feel like a co-protagonist) They also try to incorporate game elements, like Zones, rings, little animals being trapped in badniks (except instead of little animals they're anthropomorphic animals), capsules at the end of levels, etc. I would recommend either the second or the first novel, the second one has a better plot, but the first one is funnier (?) probably. (Though warning for fatphobia, it being directed at Eggman doesn't make it better. Also ugh. Really "weird" treatment of the female characters. They try to make them cool, but I'm afraid some things didn't age well) And thanks for the satam episode recommendation!

I guess I'll either be validated or will have to eat my words but at least I'll know that I'm in the same boat as Shadow the Hedgehog. At least we have animated shorts for the recent games. I'm hoping Superstars would get them too, not just the opening cutscene. Maybe on how different Emerald powers work?

I think the next show we get might be set in a more canon-adjacent universe. Sonic Boom technically was that, for Boom as the sub-franchise, I think the show and the games were even canon to each other. And they're not gonna pull another "multiverse" adventure after Prime just did that. Though I understand why they might be hesitant with making a game-adjacent cartoon, if anything goes wrong with an explicitly alternative timeline, or multiverse stuff, you can just shrug it off, but it might confuse and upset the audience if you screw up characterization in a game-adjacent show. Cartoons could have a big affect on how people perceive the characters, so Sega might not want to risk it, I mean that's how we ended up with Game Sonic loving Chili Dogs, and that were the alternative timeline shows.

That Sonic Symphony mashup might have gotten me a bit emotional. And yeah! I think you explained it better than I could.

[panharmonium]

this is legitimately one of my top five favorite kakashi scenes.

i love seeing kakashi break the rules in the name of doing the right thing, and this scene especially is particularly satisfying to me, because his moment of defiance here is, to my mind, long overdue.  

one of my eternal frustrations in early naruto is how the leaf village administration gives kakashi the job of caring for a group of super high-needs children and then continually makes that job as difficult for him as possible.  they task him with being solely responsible for the development and well-being of three twelve year-olds - a group that includes naruto (a walking disaster with a god’s power trapped inside his body) and sasuke (a genocide survivor fixated on killing his own brother), BOTH of whom are being hunted by different groups of supercriminals - and then the village keeps getting in kakashi’s way or dropping the ball or actively ordering him to prioritize other things.  

so much of what goes wrong with the kids in this period is the result of other people interfering with kakashi’s work or being negligent or endangering the kids/putting kakashi in impossible positions.  team 7’s first big mission sets the tone for everything that comes after, with someone else’s lie putting kakashi in a situation where he has to single-handedly protect not just the client who deceived him, but the three children who were supposed to be the clients’ other protectors.  and after that, the list just multiplies:

ten anbu operatives can’t manage to protect sasuke’s hospital room from orochimaru’s minions, so kakashi has to do it himself and then whisk sasuke out of the village for a month, leaving naruto in the hands of a substitute and sakura with her parents

genma orders sasuke to chase after gaara when the chunin exams blow up, saying “you’re at chunin level already,” which forces kakashi to immediately dispatch more kids to bring him back, because “ffs NO i do NOT want him out there doing that why the fuck would you tell him to do that?!” 

aoba runs his mouth off about itachi when sasuke is standing RIGHT THERE, instantly undoing all the work kakashi just did to prevent itachi and sasuke from coming anywhere near each other (and thus sending sasuke to that disastrous first encounter, the outcome of which ultimately leads to sasuke’s defection)

jiraiya decides he should let sasuke try to fight itachi himself, “out of respect for the boy’s feelings,” leading to sasuke ending up in a tsukuyomi coma

tsunade orders kakashi to drop his teaching work and leave the village on a mission even though a) he’s just gotten out of his own torture-induced coma and b) sasuke is having a crisis that kakashi is trying to manage

and then when kakashi gets back from that mission and finds out that surprise, all of this meddling has led to a disaster, tsunade tries to order him away AGAIN

but this time - he just says no.

he walks right out of her office.  he turns his back on her.  and there is NOTHING i love more than seeing kakashi embody the philosophy that he’s chosen to adopt as his guiding light: those who break the rules are scum.  but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.

it’s not that he doesn’t understand where tsunade is coming from here.  but he knows she’s wrong.  she’s making her decisions based solely on concerns about the Leaf Village being in a tight spot - feeling like they can’t turn down missions because they’ll appear weak and thus become vulnerable to attack when they’re already operating at half strength.  she sends a group of twelve year-olds to bring sasuke back because supposedly the village can’t spare anyone else, “even if it means letting the sharingan fall into orochimaru’s hands” - but like.  it’s not the sharingan.  it’s a child.  sasuke isn’t just a repository for his hereditary jutsu; he’s not a pair of eyes to be passed around from one wielder to the next.  he’s a human child.  

tsunade doesn’t know sasuke.  she’s new to the situation and doesn’t know enough about it to understand how serious it is.  i don’t even think she was still in the village when the uchiha massacre occurred; the timeline makes it sound like she left long before that.  she doesn’t really understand who sasuke is or how much trouble he’s in - she makes her decision because she feels like her first priority has to be the well-being of the Leaf as a whole, not the individual people who comprise it.  kakashi, though, who a) lives his life by a very different philosophy and b) does understand sasuke’s situation, would not have dealt with the issue like this, and if the village had let him do his job from the beginning, things wouldn’t have gotten to this point in the first place.

kakashi is horrified that tsunade sent a bunch of twelve year-olds out to fight orochimaru’s ninja, and i think he’s also probably angry and/or frustrated about having been ordered out of the village in the first place.  he was dealing with the situation before tsunade sent him away.  he interrupted the fight between sasuke and naruto even though he himself had literally just gotten out of the hospital, and then he continued addressing the issue with sasuke privately (unlike jiraiya’s non-attempt to address it with naruto, when he said he was going to give naruto a talking-to but actually flaked out).  kakashi knew sasuke was struggling, and he was doing all the things a teacher is supposed to do to address it, but then he was ordered away, and even though it was just for two days, it was enough time for everything to go to hell.

if people would just let him do his job - if the administration would let him focus on the task they themselves assigned to him - things would be different.  but everybody wants him to do everything.  they want him to be everywhere.  they want him to protect the nine-tails jinchuriki (who is also kakashi’s dead teacher’s son), and train the last surviving uchiha (which is a task only kakashi and his sharingan can perform), and give equal attention to a third kid, for good measure, and they want him to do it without stepping away from any of his other burdens, all while other people around him constantly frustrate the progress he makes.

so this time, when tsunade tries to send him away, he refuses.  he disobeys her orders and walks out of the room.  he doesn’t care about the rules or what he’s “legally” obligated to do.  he knows what the RIGHT thing to do is, and so he rejects his new mission in favor of rescuing the kids.

i love these moments.  i love when we’re shown so clearly the person kakashi has chosen to be - someone who does what’s right, not just what he’s told.  he made an active choice many years ago to adopt that philosophy, and he’s been living by those new rules ever since.  he's wiser now than he was when he was a child - sometimes you have to break ranks to do the right thing.  sometimes you have to buck the system, even if it means you might face severe personal consequences.

he had one of two choices: either save the mission or his comrades.  of course, according to the law of the village, you cannot abandon a mission.  but to save the life of his comrades, he put the mission on hold.

kakashi may have spent a good chunk of his childhood trying to reject everything the subject of that story stood for, but none of his attempts to harden his heart ever stuck.  he is, in the end, his father’s son.

[lifeexperience]

We are vengeance.

It has been almost three month since Lila Rossi came back from her fabulous trip from Achu. And since she arrived again she enjoyed the glamour. Enjoyed how everybody - who was someone, of course, - danced as she moved her strings. Even that Capitano della Moralità, Adrien was doing what she was saying.  

Just lonely, little Marinette stood on the other side.

The Italian grinned confidently. If she had some plan like that day, she was going to ruin that little girl.

Anyway she had to take prioritization of her tasks. Firstly it’s time to make a Wikipedia page about herself for future reference. She couldn’t be sloppy from here because she could meet more forceful people than Dupain-Cheng.  

Okay, so she would list her accomplishments: modeling with Adrien Agreste      , best friend with Shaytan, knowing Jagged Stone… When she finally finished, the sun already went down and it was dark. Lila disinterestedly looked at her door, his mother again worked overtime.  

Nevermind, she would eat something then collect links of her publications. Yepp, after some pasta all'Ortolana the work would be so much easier.  

However when she went back to gather her online mentions she didn’t find anything. There was nothing about her on the Ladyblog, or on Adrien’s Instagram. Someone deleted them? Who? Maybe it’s just a bug? She would know more if she asks Alya first.

Yeah, don’t need any panic.

“Ciao Alya! I have a question.” she said immediately as that wannabe journalist answered. “Yeah, yeah, così accidentally you didn’t delete my interview from your blog, right?” She nervously patted her laptop as she waited for Alya to look at it. After two minutes there was the answer. She tried to disguise her anger, but she didn’t have the patient at the moment for that stupid girl apologizes.  

So somehow her interview was lost. And she didn’t have to call Capitano della Moralità about their model photo, she knew he didn’t have too much control on it.  

Lila unconsciously started to chew her nails. It was a bad habit of hers since her childhood.  

Who had enough knowledge to hack two different websites to mess with her? Marinette was too morally high for this. And Max, who had the skill, was already under her thumb.  

“Argh!”  

She had to calm down. She couldn’t become an akume because of this since she planned a bigger performance for the next week.

Breath! In! Out!

Okay.

Maybe tomorrow she could make a new interview with Alya and drop some seemingly accident infos about the new adult heroes. Then at the weekend photoshoots she could force Adrien again.

Yeah. Why was she nervous at all? She could use this to grow her territory.

*

It has been almost six days since Adrien reluctantly posted a new photo about the two of them. There were fewer likes and more comments then before, but she was happy because she could continue to build her Wikipedia page. It would be her first thing when she got home.  

And tomorrow she would start her small shame with poor Marinette again. The little girl already was alone most of the time in the school, but Lila knew it was a matter of time to find new friends outside of their class. And she wanted to prevent every attempt of it.

I am great at ruining others.    

She smiled sweetly as she pretended to listen to another rabbling from Rose. That pink fool rarely shut up about her disgusting viewpoint, and Lila sometimes thought she would be a perfect next target after Dupain-Cheng. And if this little pink wannabe would be destroyed, her loser girlfriend would fall with her.  

Yepp, she will be an excellent following after the shit show Marinette will go through.

“Lila, it’s not your phone?” Alix poked her. She turned to her in confusion and listened to the ringing.

“No.” she shook her head. “My ringtone is different. I don’t like metal music.”

The skater tilted her head. “You sure?” Lila nodded, starting to be annoyed. “Because it’s coming from your bag.”

“What?”

She hurriedly got her phone out, and indeed it was ringing with that strange growl music. And the number also was foreign, yet she picked up. “Hello?”

“It’s Lila Lucrezia Rossi?” Everybody in the classroom jumped at once.The voice from the other side was much louder than she thought and now every one of her classmates watched her with wide eyes. She fastly tried to turn down the volume as she answered in agreement. “So your appointment was moved to the next with Doctor Lacroix.”

“Wha...What appointment?” Lila asked. She didn’t remember any medical thing. Of course she told a lot of tails about her health problems, but she was completely healthy.

“So for the farting irritation.” The woman said with a monotone tone. And of course, because Lila couldn’t turn off the speaker everybody in the room heard it.

She blinked.

“I… I think you… you called the wrong number.” she muttered as now she tried to end the call. With no success.  

“But you're Lila Lucrezia Rossi, age fourteen, Italian, aren’t you?” Lila looked around embarrassingly. How did that woman know that about her? If… If she denies it her little puppets' trust would crack. But if she continues this conversation… She didn’t even want to know.

And as she stood there in panic and listened about her supposed condition she wanted to be killed. Every fucking eye was on her. She even saw that goodie-two-shoe tried to hide her giggle with Adrien grinning next to her. And of course she noticed how her circle slid away from her.

Fuck.    

*

She skipped two weeks of school again after that… THAT phone call. Of fucking course almost every one of her classmates called her almost daily to ask about her health. And she had to answer with a lot of information for Every Fucking QUESTION.

It was irritating.  

However she couldn’t stay at home for more days because her mother. It would be too suspicious if there would be some supposed akuma without any TV gossip about it.  

So she had to go to school.  

Fortunately most of the kids were understanding and didn’t bring up the topic. But there was  Kim. Of FUCKING course.

As many times as he saw her he faked a fart with a disgustingly loud moan. She tried to cry about it, though everybody said to bear with it. Kim was just Kim and if she didn’t react he would let it go.  

At first Lila didn’t want to believe it then Alya patted her shoulder sympathetically and left her to stand alone. And because of these really annoying events she couldn’t start her plan with Dupain-Cheng who - of fucking couse - got closer to Adrien. To her key to the famous-rich-carefree life.  

They were chatting cheerfully in the classroom without any glance at someone other than each. They were in their little world, and every girl in the class blissfully sighed at the sight.

And if that day was not enough of a bother to her somehow her school tablet started streaming porno when she tried to project out her presentation. She was mortified just like everybody in the classroom. And she didn’t even have luck with teachers. Because of - fucking - course that lesson was with Mendeleiev.

*

It was already December when she finally served her detention time because of that… THAT incident. She couldn’t go any photoshoot with Adrien due to her attendance problem.  

She didn’t even see Batman, yeah THAT Batman when he saved Shaytan and Chat Noir. She was at a detention with others. Although she could tell Alya a little story about her knowing the American hero and how he called him to help Paris.  

However she only had ten minutes to bask the light because her mamma called her home. Immediately. At first Lila found it strange, but she shook the confusion down. She said goodbye to the wannabe journalist and went home. She blissfully entered the elevator then with a big smile greeted her mother.  

“Lila!” her mother nodded sternly. The woman waited as she - not so happily anymore, dropped her things in her room. “Why did you use your emergency money?”

Lila furrowed her eyebrows. “But I didn’t.”

“No?” her mamma asked.

She shook her head. She didn’t use her emergency card because her mother could check it anytime. That’s why she asked her payment in cash from Gabriel.

“Then tell me mia figlia, why your debit card is in the minus?” Her mamma held a tablet with an account statement in front of Lila. She slowly read over the document. And indeed, her debit card which was only for emergencies was in minus. The description list showed a lot purchasing from different sites that she didn’t even know.  

“I didn’t do this.” she said franctincly.  

“No?” her mother glanced at the numbers. “You know how much money it was? We kept it for your university years.”

“We?” Lila whispered as she became aware of the gravity of the situation.

“Yes. Your father was the one who drew my attention to it.”  

At first Lila only just gaped then she felt how her blood started circulating. Of fucking course that bastard was the one who spying after her.  

“You are a grounded signorina!” she heard her mother voice through her anger. “After the school ends you have to come home then do your homework. I take your phone and electronics too.”

She didn’t even have time to protest as she saw a dark butterfly. She quietly waited as that insect landed on her phone. “How unfair to blame something on others when she is not at fault.” She heard the well-known tone. “Finanza I’m giving you the power to punish everyone who sinned against you. Your only task to bring to me their Miraculous.”

“Of fucking course.”

*

She was defeated again. But one day she would destroy the fame of Shaytan. That girl would taste the fall and humiliation.  

“LILA!” A loud yell cut her from her plans as she sat at the ground. “Lila!” Someone shook her. She looked up to meet Alya irritating face. “Are you okay?”

She blinked some to win some precious moment to calm down. Then she nodded with a fake whimpering. “What happened? You shouted about some money then forced everyone to admit their sins.”

“Oh… I… I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” she sobbed while she tried to hide her dry eyes.

“It’s okay.” Alya hugged her. “Can you stand up?”

She shakely raised on her foot. They silently walked along the pavement for some time when she finally looked around. They were not far away from the school. And of course it meant they were near to the Dupain-Cheng's bakery.

At first Lila didn’t even notice the bakery, then she heard a shocked gasp from next to her. Alya with wide eyes pointed forward. She also turned the direction and her jaw also dropped. There stood Marinette, little innocent Marinette, embracing a tall, muscular man. After some moments they let go of each other and with a big smile Marinette got in the car with the stranger.  

“What… Who was he?”

*

Next day Lila wasn’t able to forget that stranger with the baker girl. He was gorgeous, but most important, older than them and a little dark. Plus he was clearly an adult. Alya tried to claim he was surely a cousin of Marinette, however Lila wasn’t that certain about it. They didn’t look alike. And if she remembered correctly Alya never told about any relatives of Marinette except her great-uncle chef and grandparents. Nobody else.

“Hm.” If she could twist it somehow then she would be on advantage again. But how? Alya was adamant about the family thing, but what if… Perhaps some well aimed stab about gang members. Perhaps.

Although she needed to conceal her mirth as she eyed her classmates. They all stood at the bottom of the stairs and were themselves like stupid sheeps they are. Lila forced a shy smile on herself and carefully stepped between them to tell a new tale about her time in China. And of fucking course it was not a coincidence, she knew well if she use any rather distinct - nevertheless linked to Marinette, - facts then Dupain-Cheng was much easier to upset.

However that stupid girl didn’t bother to pay any attention to her. She just stood beside Adrien and chatted happily with him.

Lila frowned.  

“There is a problem?” someone poked her shoulder. It was Mylene.

“No… No.” her smile was strained. “I just… Why are Marinette and Adrien avoiding us?”

And everybody simultaneously turned their way. The two blissfully laughed at something as they ignored everything else.  

“How sweet!” she heard Rose’s murmurs. Yeah, like pineapple on pizza. Bhrr.

She started to open her mouth to say something though she wasn’t able to voice any sound. A darker than black and really long limousine parked in front of them. It was not Adrien’s one, neither Chloé’s.  

And the most surprising thing was Marinette jumping up and down for the sight.  

All of them including Lila watched as their class president pulled Adrien to the car and after some debate with the driver they got in the car.  

What did she just watch?

“Oh!” It was not a shocked ‘Oh!’, it was a ‘I realized what was happening’. And Lila also wanted to know what the fuck happened before her beautifull eyes.

“You know something, Nino?” She really tried to conceal her angry curiosity.  

The DJ nodded with a relaxing smile. “Marinette’s family visiting from America.”

“You mean she has relatives in America?” Alya asked, more interested than a few minutes ago when she listened to Lila’s gossip.

“Oh, hell!” Kim shouted. “The brothers, right? I almost forgot about them.”

Alya tilted her head as he turned to the swimmer. “Brothers?”

“Yeah.” Nino talked again. “Dick and Jay, and Timtam… and… Who was the one who pissed Chloé off?”

“Some Da… De… Demon!”

“No. His name was…”

Lila tuned out the conversation. So Marinette had a family in the States. And they most certainly rich drawing that conclusion from the limo. Why didn’t she do better research before she transferred?

*

In the middle of the week was the career day and Lila was really lucky to talk her mamman down about coming to it. Of course she didn’t want her here. It would be a disaster.

She had a quite good feeling about the day. If she heard correctly only a few parents agreed to participate and after the school for the day would end. And naturally she kinda forgot this particular information when she told her mother about this ‘really awful’ day.

Yep, I am a genius.

She confidently walked through the hallways and winked at some cute boy because not only Adrien was appreciable in this school. Maybe if Monsieur Agreste would appear she could negotiate for a new line just for herself. After all she always paid attention to his handsome boy.

Humming the newest XY’s song Lila happily stepped in the classroom. However her mood dropped exactly that moment when her foot touched the room’s floor. Since there, in the middle of the room stood with her fake innocent Marinette and that gorgeous foreign man. And from closer he was more handsome than she first thought. Even Madam Bustier blushed and she had a husband.

Why has this girl this kind of luck?    

Lila forced a charming smile on her face and with a friendly wave she sat down. She would not risk her status in front of that man when Marinette is nearby. She had to calculate carefully so for the time she just waited for the start.

When everybody arrived the teacher began her really boring speech about the importance of work knowledge and connections. Lot of the guests nodded in agreement. There was Rose’s mother who was a florist, Nino’s father was a doctor and Alix’s historian father. And of course Marinette’s mysterious man.

She was really curious about him. He wore a perfectly fitted suit and was fucking handsome, nevertheless he looked young. Maybe twentish. It’s maximum six year age difference between them. It’s not too bad.

She patiently waited as every one of the guardians did their presentation when finally the man stepped forward.  

“Before I introduce myself I would like to clear something up.” His voice was a pleasant baritone. Even Adrien didn’t have that kind of sexy voice. Lila already enjoyed the show.

“I would like to ask everyone present to turn off the phones, tablets and any other smart device.”

Lila indifferently watched as everyone reluctantly got their device and turned them off. She didn’t get back hers since her mother grounded her. How lucky, she grimaced.

“In the next step please read through the confidentiality agreement that Marinette hands out. If you don’t want to partake in it or don’t agree to the terms I have to ask you to leave the room.” he continued as the baker girl gave everyone a copy.  

As Lila looked around some of her classmates without thinking signed it up. And surprisingly it was Chloé and Adrien who handed back among the first. She also saw how after that some other looked at their paper with more bravery and signed it. She didn’t even bother to read it, just scan the logo at the top and the stamp at the bottom. She didn’t know this company so she also wrote her name on and handed it back.

Nobody left the room.

“Thank you, and I am apologizing for that little inconvenience, but this is necessary in today’s competitive sphere.” he said as he and Marinette counted and rechecked every one of the papers.  

After a few minutes they finished. “Since today we also published an article it’s not that big of a harm if I introduce myself.” he smiled a little at Marinette and pulled her next to him. “My name is Damian Wayne and I am one of Marinette’s siblings.”

Lila straightened. She heard it right?

“I work at the Wayne Enterprise as a co-CEO beside my brother Timothy Drake-Wayne.”

It can’t be!    

“After our Father decided he would like to spend more time with his family, I took over his position. Some of my...”

How the fucking hell?    

Lila kind of lost herself and didn’t hear anything other than the slowly repeating ‘Wayne’ echo. That rascal was a Wayne heir?

And Lila targeted her?

Oh fuck.    

*

It was Friday when Lila finally understood Marinette’s real power. It was never her connection or her skills. Not even her so-called friends.  

No.  

It was her family.

She of course knew about the Waynes. Who not? They were celebrities, start managers, philanthropists, fucking Gods. And of fucking course every one of the students also knew about them. So for the next couple of days went by like a couple of seconds. One moment she was the center of the attention then suddenly everybody wanted to be friends with Marinette.

Everybody.  

Even the fucking street-sweeper.

And of course there was the media attention. The police had to be called because of the sensation. Lila even saw how two journalists quarreled about which one hid in one the bushes in front of the school.  

Naturally she wanted to take advantage of the situation, however as the article with her name was published her mother’s phone started ringing. And the caller was Lila's worst nightmare.  

On Friday she and her mamman head to the Wayne Enterprise’s Parisian branch. It was a modern building with clear glass windows and a big dark gold W letter. They were hurriedly ushering in an empty meeting room where there were too many chairs for Lila’s liking.  

Her mother - of course, - was enraged. She almost learnt everything about Lila’s school life. Just almost. Unfortunately it was enough to lose her trust in her daughter. Lila was grounded kind of permanently. She wouldn’t get back her phone kind of ever. She only could use her mother’s computer and just for homework. She was not expelled from Francois-Dupont, however she had detention for a year and had to repeat this school year.  

And now she would learn what the Waynes cooked up for her.

She grimaced.  

“Good morning Madam Rossi and Mademoiselle Rossi.” greeted them Damian Wayne himself as he steeped in the room. He was followed by Marinette, her parents - or they were even her parents? Lila wasn’t able to read any article about the family ties. -, a petite Asian woman, then some other more business-like men and women. Surely the lawyers.

“I think you know why you are here.” Damian stated as he sat at the head of the table. Marinette went to his left side with her parents (?) and the petite woman sat down at his right side with the lawyers.  

“Yes.” Her mother nodded.  

“We would like to sue your daughter, Mademoiselle Lila Lucrezia Rossi, for breaking our confidentiality agreement. Furthermore ask a restraining order to prohibit her from approaching my little sister, Marinette Athanasia Al Ghul Wayne.” This man spoke with a really unconcerned voice that Lila almost thought he was not even interested in his sibling’s life.

“Yes.” Her mamman agreed without any protest.  

“However” his voice steeled, “because my sister is a really kind soul she will not sue for the physical violence, a mental and physical harassment and the defaming.” he stared down at her with dark eyes. “Nevertheless we, as from her guardians who are presented” he pointed to the stranger Asian woman and himself, “decided to put on the blacklist Mademoiselle Lila Lucrezia Rossi in every business in which we owned the majority.”

The air got stuck in Lila’s body. Every business? Every? The Waynes owned half of the planet.  

“But” spoke the petite woman, “we would ignore this blacklisting if the Mademoiselle successfully participates in various therapies.” She passes toward a paper. “It’s a list of some advised areas to search for good specialists. We don’t want to break a young child's career so we are ready to compromise.”  

Lila almost believed her then she glanced at the man. At first she thought this Damian Wayne was gorgeous. And indeed his look was perfect, however she didn’t meet more horrifying people than him. His eyes screamed for murder.

She turned back to her mother who kind of looked relieved. “We… I thank you.” she breathed.

After that were just formalities. Signing up that or this. Lila wanted to run home and curl up. And cry.  

She worked for her fame. She worked hard to destroy those lives in her way. She didn’t think she would meet someone who could destroy her with just a flick.

However the paper said otherwise.

Her fucking status said otherwise.

She didn’t remember a lot from the meeting after that. She barely registered when they arrived home. She almost didn’t hear her father's disappointed voice on the phone.

And Lila almost missed the little note on her desk. With a photo about herself as she moves to get an akuma.

We are the night. We are vengeance. We are a family.

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

Cult Leader Villain!Deku - Engagement and Suspicion Pt. 2

On Wednesday mornings, there was always one thing that Shouta could count on: Todoroki and Uraraka showing up at least fifteen minutes late to homeroom. And, according to Principal Nezu, there was nothing he could do to punish the two of them for it. Something about exemptions made for religious practices or something. All Shouta knew about it was that apparently Todoroki and Uraraka had to do some sort of special ritual every Wednesday morning that meant they had to take a later train in order to get to school. Whatever it was, it was illogical to prioritize worshiping someone or something (that probably wasn't real in the first place) over one's education, especially when in the hero course, where actual real lives were potentially on the line.

As for the students who weren't late to class every Wednesday, it was always up in the air as to who would be early, on time, or sneak in just as the bell rings. Today the early birds included Iida and Bakugo (no surprises there), Momo, Jirou, and (slightly more surprising) the entirety of Bakugo's little entourage.

As Shouta slipped into the room to start putting the day's schedule on the board, he mostly tried to ignore the group's gossip but it caught his attention when he heard Ashido gasp before saying something about one of his two most elusive students.

"- you're kidding me right?? Todoroki said that?!"

"Yeah, Denks was asking him about this mark on his arm that he and Kiri had noticed in the locker room, turns out it's some sort of tattoo for their little cult thing" Tattoos? Cult? Shouta snorted quietly to himself - well that was mildly concerning, but teenage gossip was hardly a reliable source. Whatever this interaction Sero was describing was certainly interesting though. "Anyway he was telling us what all the different parts of it meant, and get this, he told us that the part with the leaves- uhhhh how did he put it Kiri?"

"He explained to us that the leaves were uhhh yarrow leaves I think - don't quote me on that - and he more or less said that they 'symbolized his engagement' or something to that effect."

Shouta froze. That couldn't be right. As he started to turn he noticed that Jirou and Momo had also approached the group to join the conversation.

"Wait, wait," this came from Jirou, "Todoroki's engaged? To like ... a person?"

"Yep," Kirishima answered eyes wide as he nodded in affirmation.

"At first Kiri and I were convinced we had misheard or misunderstood, but when we asked for clarification Uraraka told us that he was engaged to a human person, and when we asked if maybe it was arranged or something he totally blew up at us."

Kaminari nodded his head violently in agreement with Sero as Kirishima cut back in, "Uraraka and him were super pissed that we asked that and he started going on about how they were 'given God's blessing' and that they had apparently fasted for like a week or something."

Shouta blinked, it seemed as though each word that poured from Sero or Kirishima was ten times more concerning then the last-

"And that's not even the half of it," Sero cut in once more, "We, definitely, one-hundred percent heard Uraraka say that the person he is engaged to... is 'The Verdant Angel'."

Now Shouta had no fucking idea what the hell that was but based on Yaoyorozu's gasp and Mina's "No freaking way", his students clearly did.

After a half second of silence Jirou let out a derisive snort before crossing her arms and lifting a single eyebrow, "You guys are bullshitting us aren't you?"

"We are not!" came Kaminari's indignant reply.

"Todoroki is fifteen, the same as the rest of us, there's no way the leading figure of his religion-"

"Cult," Sero coughed into his fist.

-is engaged to him" Jirou finished and turned to look at Sero more directly, "And there's no proof his religion is a cult guys, I saw an article about them just the other day talking about the work they've been doing with the local homeless shelters and how they have been putting together a support network for children facing quirk abuse and discrimination. Cults are abusive and controlling by definition, you guys are just being mean."

Shouta let out a slow breath and turned back to the board to finish the last bit of the schedule before crawling into his sleeping bag to try and fit in a quick nap before the bell rang, Jirou had a good head on her shoulders and made some valid points, Shouta would look into his wayward students religious practices later just to be sure, but it seemed pretty likely that Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were exaggerating about their supposed recent interaction (as teens are wont to do). As he slowly shut his eyes he picked up the tail end of their conversation-

"Well if you don't believe us then one of you should ask him out after class and see how he responds, I guarantee he'll say something weird about it."

"Fine, Momo can do it since she's the most familiar with him"

"Well, uh, actu-"

"Deal!"

----------

True to form, the bell rang and it was another twenty minutes before Todoroki and Uraraka shuffled quietly in to class while Shouta explained about upcoming events they would have to participate in as first year hero students before setting them to use the rest of homeroom as a study session. As he watched on he couldn't help the slight discomfort he felt in his stomach when he looked over at Todoroki and Uraraka. While teenagers aren't the most reliable source of information, much of what was said earlier was highly concerning and it would probably be smart to keep a closer eye on the two.

Shouta had almost forgotten about the latter portion of the kids conversation when he looked up to see Yaoyorozu walking sheepishly over to the dual haired boy's desk, with 2 minutes left of class.

"Hey, um Todoroki. How are you?"

The boy blinked slowly up at her before replying, "I am well."

Yaoyorozu laughed slightly, "Oh that's good, I was wondering umm, maybe if you're free sometime, if you would like to go out... on a date. Go out on a date... with me?"

"Oh," he blinks up owlishly at her from his chair, "no thank you," then turns back to his work.

Yaoyorozu starts to turn back to her seat when Sero and Kirishima wave her back, as though telling her to keep going.

"-uhhhh," she pauses and turns back once more, "Could I ask why not?"

"Well," Todoroki said looking up at her once more, "I am already betrothed to God's redeemer, to date you would be to turn my back on God."

Yaoyorozu made a high-pitched hum of slight discomfort as all the air left Shouta's lungs. Perhaps Shouta had been too quick to agree with Jirou's assessment of the boys' gossip. Because as much as he hated to admit it. That definitely sounded like cult stuff, in the worst possible way.

If Shouta felt dazed until the end of the day that was no one else's business. And if at the end of the day he asked Todoroki and Uraraka to stay behind well...

"Are you two okay? Is there anything going on that you need help with?"

They blinked slowly at him.

"No, we're fine Sensei." Uraraka said hesitantly in response.

Shouta breathed out, of course it wouldn't be that simple.

"Well if either of you ever need someone to talk to, of if you need any help at all - you can come to me or any of the staff at UA and we will help you. Okay?"

"Yes Sensei," they said in what Shouta could only describe as creepily perfect unison.

He sighed once more, "You two are free to go."

They looked at him a bit longer, squinting their eyes in confusion, or maybe suspicion, before turning to leave. Leaning in to whisper with each other as they exited the room with one last glance at Shouta.

He buried his face in his hands, rubbing at his temples to combat the incoming headache. He really, really, didn't want to - but it seemed like he might have to dig into the religious practices of his students on the off chance they may have joined a dangerous cult.

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Vienna-Based Mistos and Grizabella: Misto Becomes the Misto You Know

Once again, I find myself fascinated with the Vienna production and it’s descendants, especially when it comes to Mistoffelees. There are bits with Misto in these productions that are sometimes very similar to the 1998 VHS, but other productions don’t have them.

In the majority of productions I’ve seen, when Grizabella first appears, the first cats to respond are Coricopat and Tantomile, who hiss at her. Some productions have Mistoffelees sense her first, which all the Vienna-based ones do. But, they all do it slightly differently, with a noticeable difference between the first two (Vienna and Amsterdam) and the later two (Paris and Zurich)

Vienna:

This production started in 1983, but the recording is from 1990, near the end of the show’s run. Mistoffelees was played by the same actor, Valentin Baraian, playing him for most of the run. Occasionally, covers would step in, but he was the official Vienna Misto the whole time. So, despite the film being from 1990, it’s a characterization developed in 1983. I’m sure it evolved over time, but not in the same way as productions where the role changed hands.

I know it’s very hard to see here, but those are Misto’s hands behind Grizabella. When he first approaches her, he briefly tries to block her path, but when she insists on going forward, he walks behind her.

A cat, I’m not sure which one, runs up to Grizabella and hisses at her. Misto signals the cat to stand back. Throughout the scene, several cats approach Grizabella, some attempting to reach out to her, and others just to hiss at her or scratch her. With the former, one of the older cats will rush to stop them. Misto himself only stops the ones approaching threateningly. This means that he’s following her around to make sure that the others don’t hurt her.

After Grizabella starts singing, he tries to fend off the cats who approach her, but only the ones that do something to upset her, since she turns on them for the “you see the border of her coat is torn” line.

Conclusion: Vienna Misto is one of the adult cats, allowed to approach Grizabella and take charge while she’s there, since Munkustrap seems reluctant to do anything one way or another. But, even though he knows who she is and what she did, he personally has nothing against her and shadows her to keep her from getting hurt. Since one of the kittens succeeds in scratching her, he doesn’t seem to be very at it, but he cares enough to feel like he needs to try.

Amsterdam:

NOTE: Due to not having access to a full recording of this production, if one even exists at all, the following screenshots are taken from the clip @junkyard-gifs uploaded. As far as I can tell, the clip is from 1987. 

When Misto notices Grizabella, he runs up to her and holds his arms out, blocking her path. Once again, it seems like Misto is old enough to know who she is and that she’s not welcome.

However, Grizabella will not be stopped. She just shoves him out of the way. He’s not Munkustrap. He’s not the protector. He can’t tell her what to do.

However, this shove is technically an act of violence, so Misto warns the others to stay back. She attacked him! I’m guessing this Misto is not often shoved out of the way. Some Mistos are, but not this one.

The other cats scatter and Munkustrap steps up to handle the situation. Misto is still mad about it.

Conclusion: Amsterdam Misto (Dr. Diavolo, which is an amazing name) is one of the adult cats, since he seemed to know right away that Grizabella wasn’t welcome. But, unlike Vienna Misto, who seemed to have some sort of connection to Grizabella, this Misto doesn’t like her and likes her even less after she pushes him. He seems less mature and more prideful than Vienna Misto, with his dramatic reaction to being shoved, but I get the feeling that most of the other cats would’ve behaved the same way in this situation.

Now, both of these Mistos knew who Grizabella was. In general, full adults know Griz, while the kittens and sorta-adults don’t. This is the most clear generation gap in the show. In both these productions, Misto was put on the side of the adults. This matches up with most earlier portrayals of the character. By the time Jacob Brent played him, he was a younger character, only just starting to become an adult, who comes up age by the end of the show. I’ve always been curious as to when exactly this change took place. How did we get from here:

to here:

I don’t have any pictures of Timothy Scott’s Misto and Grizabella, so this comparsion doesn’t work quite as well, but you get the idea. In the above picture, Misto is just sort of waiting to see what Grizabella does. He doesn’t know her.

Well, I think the next two entries in the Vienna Line show some of the journey from point A to point B

Paris

The recording of the Paris version is from 1990, during the last month of the show’s run. It was uploaded to YouTube by Guy-Paul de St. Germain, who played Misto in the recording, and in London shortly after, as well as in a later UK Tour.

Misto approaches Grizabella, and the film quality makes it hard to see what’s going, but what I think is going on is that Munkustrap and Misto are equally quick to react to Grizabella, but Munkustrap keeps his distance, while Misto approaches her. From what I can tell, he does so neutrally, just trying to figure out who she is.

Munkustrap doesn’t physically intervene, but he warns Misto to get away with a sharp hiss. Misto backs away and stands in the corner, where he remains for the rest of the number.

After one of the kittens (I’m pretty sure it’s Tumblebrutus) scratches Grizabella, Misto sort of leans toward her, almost taking a step in her direction. But, he looks back over his shoulder before doing anything, and whatever he sees keeps him in place. I’m guessing he was looking to Munkustrap for permission to see if she’s alright after being scratched, and was denied permission.

Conclusion: Paris Misto most likely doesn’t know who Grizabella is. He obeys Munkustrap’s instructions regarding her, but he doesn’t seem to know what to think of her. He’s concerned for her when she gets hurt, but he prioritizes Munkustrap’s orders over that concern. The general tone is very similar to the VHS, though 1998 Misto started glaring at Grizabella, copying Munkustrap, instead of just following his instructions.

Zurich

The Zurich footage is from a 1992 bootleg. In 1992, Misto was being played by Lindsay Chambers, who’d go on to play him on Broadway for a few years. He was playing Misto on Broadway when Jacob Brent was cast as Pouncival, so this is where Brent’s Misto starts to connect to Vienna-based Mistos.

When Misto starts dancing to the reprise of Tugger’s song, he gets really into it and Grizabella shows up right behind him, making it seem like he nearly crashes into her. When he sees her, he just stops and stares. He doesn’t react at all. He just waits to see what she’ll do.

Even though he’s not doing anything, Grizabella treats him like Amsterdam Misto, pushing him out of her way. Since Amsterdam Misto was actually blocking her path, it made sense for her to do that, but here it’s just rude! He doesn’t know who she is and made no move against her. If she wants a cat to welcome her back into the tribe, he probably would’ve done it. But it seems like Zurich Grizabella is focused on getting to Munkustrap. She wants to talk to the one who’s in charge.

Like in the Paris version, when Grizabella is scratched, Misto steps towards her. But, Zurich Misto is quick to stop himself. He doesn’t need Munkustrap to tell him to stay away, though Munkustrap is right there. I can’t tell if he’s glaring at Misto or glaring at Grizabella, because of Bootleg Quality. But, if Munkustrap isn’t glaring at Misto, Misto just decided to stop by himself, probably remembering getting pushed out of the way. Grizabella really lost herself an ally here. From other scenes in this version, I’ve noticed that Zurich Misto often doesn’t seem to understand the social rules of the tribe and gets in trouble frequently. In the very next scene, Skimble will stop him from pulling Bustopher’s tail, but he’ll insist on doing it anyway, so even if the rules are explained to him, he still might break them if he really wants to. He’d go against the tribe to support Grizabella if he felt like he had a reason to. But, because she pushed him, his first impression of her is negative, so if the rest of the tribe says she’s bad, he’ll go along with it.

Zurich Grizabella confuses me, basically.

Conclusion: Like in Paris, Zurich Misto is not a full adult. He doesn’t know who Grizabella is and reacts to her neutrally at first. The key difference is that he doesn’t go against Grizabella because that’s what the adults are doing, but in direct response to her actions. Compared to both Paris and the VHS, Zurich Misto isn’t quite as invested in pleasing authority figures. He wants the Important Cats to like him, but he’s more willing to go against them.

So, my theory about How Misto Became 1998 Misto is:

1. In different ways, both the London and Broadway productions originally characterized Misto as a full grown adult, somewhat established as a magician due to a love of showing off.

2. Most early productions had a similar characterization for Misto, including the Vienna production.

3. The Paris production seemed to be where things began to change. One of the actors who played Misto, either Tibor Kovats or Guy-Paul de St. Germain started playing the character differently. This might’ve been because of the decision to have Mistoffelees dance with Victoria. London’s Admetus and Broadway’s Tumblebrutus were established as kittens around Victoria’s age. If Misto was out of her age range, it would be kind of weird. This wouldn’t stop the London production from pairing her with Alonzo in its later years, but whatever. So, Misto was aged down to be only as old as they could get away with if they wanted to pair him with Victoria, even if it was just for one dance, since a lot of productions don’t have Victoria interact with her dance partner much outside of the dance itself. Mistoria shippers can make a thing out of it and everyone else can not make a thing out of it, because it works either way.

4. The Zurich production also paired Mistoffelees with Victoria for the dance, so they might’ve aged him down for similar reasons. Like in Paris, Tibor Kovats played Misto in this version early on. I don’t have any footage of him in the role, but he’s what really connects Paris and Zurich, so this Misto characterization might’ve come from him. If not, Guy-Paul de St Germain and Lindsay Chambers had very similar ideas for what to do with the character, with just enough difference that it could just be a coincidence. 

5. Guy-Paul de St Germain played Misto in London, bringing this new characterization into that production.

6. Lindsay Chambers played Misto on Broadway, bringing this new characterization into that production. Future Mistos of both London and Broadway would be more likely to base their portrayals on these Vienna-based Mistos.

7. When Jacob Brent was cast as Pouncival on Broadway, Lindsay Chambers was playing Misto. Jacob learned the part while Chambers was playing it, and when it was his turn to play Misto, he also played him as a young tom coming of age.

And he was very good at it.

8. Jacob Brent played Mistoffelees in the 1998 VHS. When the show closed in London and on Broadway, the 1998 version became the version that most people saw first, so a generation of future Mistos learned his characterization, so it became the one that remained popular into the present day.

And that’s probably where Baby Misto comes from.

[wilhelmjfink]

Daryl Dixon Drabble #6 - Part 4 (Finale)

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BRI GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

I absolutely despise how Tumblr formats these on mobile. If anybody knows how to fix this, let me know PLEASE

thnx for waiting

—

You assumed it was around high noon when you woke up, judging by the thick layer of sweat that replaced your sleeping bag in hugging your entire body. It was now sprawled across the canvas floor, forgotten, and your hair clung to the skin of your forehead. And between the heat and the events of the prior night, you felt almost feverish and sick.

It was a nice surprise that nobody had disturbed you, though — and you silently hoped that theme continued throughout the remainder of the day as you begrudgingly emerged and reveled in the cool fresh air that greeted you on the outside of the sauna that was simply a tent in the Georgia summer heat. Judging by that sun... it was going to be another miserably hot day.

Before, you had never been one for swimming in any body of water that wasn’t a clean and chlorinated pool. Maybe it was the small part of you that had been spoiled, but ponds and creeks weren’t your favorite means of cooling off until you, quite literally, had no other choice; but you would always fondly reminisce of the in-ground swimming pool at your moms house growing up as you waded into the cloudy pond water. You were only ever there one week a month, so it was a damn luxury even then, and a far-fetched dream now.

The suns reflection shimmered on the water ripples you caused as you waded in and you sighed contently, actively trying to ignore the constant lingering scent of fish and mud and algae as you scrubbed your filthy fingernails against the soap bar in your hands, lathering it up enough so that, maybe after one or two rounds, your skin might begin to feel relatively clean again. Your now-soaked tank top clung to your skin — you think maybe it was white at one point, but decided not to question the faded stains that decorated it now.

Dunking beneath the surface you rubbed your fingertips vigorously against your scalp, silently wishing you hadn’t spent years taking advantage of all of the luxurious products and fancy soaps always at your disposal. Fuck — even a new, cheap 50¢ soap bar would be like gold right now compared to the slimy old bar in your hands. Your hair was dry and coarse, and admittedly you’d be mortified at the current condition of it if you had any time to worry about anything other than not starving or getting eaten alive. You scrubbed your eyes free of the murky water and stretched, content to take your time and daydream for the moment until you had to start your day. You’d been left alone, and figured it was intentional.

Good. You could get some shit done.

So you hadn’t expected to turn towards the shore and find Daryl standing there, frozen like a deer in headlights when your eyes met — yeah, modesty had gone out the door for you months ago, but you couldn’t fight the smile that crept up on your face when Daryl instantly whipped around and threw a hand up to shield his eyes as if he had really anticipated finding you pond bathing, what, fully clothed? What was he expecting to see?

“Shit,” he stammered, “uh, ‘m sorry, I just —“

“I do have some clothes on,” you replied as you fully emerged onto dry land and doubled over to pick up your dirty towel tossed carelessly into the grass. Even in the skew of the sunlight and shadows you could see the flush creep up his neck and cheeks and turn the tips of his ears pink. But you found yourself wanting to squash any sort of relief or joy you’d first experienced upon noticing him there when last nights fiasco began to run through your mind. You had no idea what he possibly wanted with you — was he going to chew you out again? The mere notion had your stomach twisting in knots as you rung out your soaking wet hair and cast your eyes back down to the ground and away from his own piercing gaze that had returned upon hearing you weren’t completely nude.

“I thought.. I thought you were doin’ laundry,” he explained, again turning away as he spoke, quickly and sheepishly. Like a child caught red-handed, he was always fleeting and nervous and ready to escape. “Nevermind, ‘m sorry, I’ll — “

You didn’t allow him to finish because, when you saw him start to take a step forward and leave, you lunged your hand on to his shoulder. Where the sudden balls came from, you had no fucking idea. Daryl was the one notorious for his bravery when everyone else needed the strength, but situations like this? He would turn tail and run away at the very first opportunity you even hinted at that might give him some sort of escape. But the way you saw it, he had obviously sought you out for a reason; and the way that things had ended last night left a bad taste in your mouth that you, whether you admitted it to yourself or not, we’re desperate to alleviate.

“Stop.” It was a bit more forceful than you’d intended but you were so positive that he would break into a sprint just to get away from you at that moment that you didn’t try to soften it. To your surprise, he stiffened, but nonetheless halted in his tracks. “Do you need something?”

Almost as if to prove to you that you knew nothing about him the way you thought you did, he spun toward you abruptly: “M’sorry — for last night.”

The apology took you by surprise in the best way, uncoiling the anxiety that had slowly begin to twist around in your gut. He had a way of keeping you on your fucking toes, it sure seemed. Quite literally speechless, he’d blindsided you, and you shook your head to clear the swarm of thoughts and prioritize your next words knowing that you didn’t have a lot of time to voice them before he would inevitably shut you out again or take off running. “Wait,” you tried, feeling him start to pull away at your lack of an immediate response; you could see the uneasiness etched in his features and even feel it in his stance. “Wait —“

But he cut you off, just like he did when he was chewing you out back in the woods the night before. This time, however, was far different, and you couldn’t quite decide what exactly had changed.

“Jus’ listen to me for a second, alright?”

He was breathing heavily and rapidly through his nose — not from overexhetion, but in an unreliable attempt to keep his voice steady and confident. You nodded in response.

The tensity in his body, the stiffness in his muscles, it was tangible — his legs were actively trying so hard to move him away from the situation, to let him pace like the caged animal he always reminded you of, desperate to run and hide. He wanted so desperately to speak, but seemed unable to form the words.

“I didn’t... I never meant to...”

Seeing him so vulnerable and helpless, it absolutely broke your heart as you stood there watching. Waiting. Waiting for some other words to come to you because the ones that you kept drumming up inside your head just weren’t good enough to fall on his ears.

Shoulders slumping in defeat, Daryl’s head dropped, and he choked out a sob.

You felt strangled. The breath was knocked from your lungs at the sound. The guilt that followed was crippling and seized your entire body within its white-knuckled grip, but was almost instantly overshadowed with fear; fear and regret and shame and you thought you might be sick with the overwhelming emotions before you just decided to throw your arms around his broad shoulders, standing on your tiptoes, pressing your still damp body so close to his that maybe you could meld the two of your souls together.

“I’m sorry, Daryl.” Face pressed into his chest, your words were muffled and wavered unsteadily as you struggled yourself not to break down. “I never shoulda said what I said. It was fucked up, but it was a lie. I swear I didn’t mean it, I just wanted to piss you off.”

“That don’t make it okay to hurt you!”

Admittedly, you faltered at his reasoning, but your mouth kept rolling on autopilot because you knew how Daryl would take to your silence as a reply. “No, but —“

“No, it ain’t ever okay to do what I did.”

He shook you off with a violent shrug of his shoulders, your arms falling limply to your sides.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you,” you offered, not surprised when he shook his head in response and gestured wildly with his hands on either side of your head, hands clenched in fists, almost as if he was fighting some internal battle and, by the looks of it, losing miserably.

“Ya don’t get it, Y/N!” He spun on his his heels, abruptly turning away from you and replacing that distance between the two of you that you were growing to detest. “Ya don’t get it. Ya were right.”

You raised your eyebrows at him though you weren’t sure if it mattered with how he faced away from you, and you weren’t sure if you could just see his own features particularly well today or if it’d come from hours of staring at him, watching him, studying him while you simply tried to figure him the fuck out.

“I dunno why, but ya get me so.... fuckin’ mad sometimes. It’s like, ya know how to get right under my fuckin’ skin.” His voice was low now, rough with exhaustion and the scent of lingering alcohol. And while you could feel your heart drop at his admission, you had to fight the sense of pride and joy you were feeling that he even fucking admitted it.

This is what you’d been working so hard to get from him; it’s also exactly what got him so mad in the first place, and therefore the mess you were currently in that ensued. Whether or not the alcohol coursing through both your systems had anything to do with it didn’t matter to you anymore.

“When ya said that, it just...I dunno. I didn’t wanna fuckin’ believe it,” he ran an exasperated hand down his face before turning away from you, fueling your unconscious need to step forward after him again, softly, like you were trying to catch a wild animal, fearing that he would turn and break away from you at any second. “But what I did — Merle woulda done the same damn thing! He woulda done it without a second fuckin’ thought!”

His hands raked through his hair, distressed and frantic, and you reached out to grasp his wrists and steady him, your hands comically small next to his, strong and secure and familiar. At first, he flinched; tugging away from you half-heartedly before giving up and allowing you to gingerly lower his hands down in front of him, in between you, where they remained trapped in your grip.

“That’s exactly what I mean, Daryl,” you said softly, choosing your words carefully as if any wrong one would scare him off and send him fleeing again. As firmly as you held his wrists before you, one foot remained turned as you anticipated him doing just that. And the fear of watching him run again had, at some point, outweighed the fleeting fear that Daryl might actually want to hurt you — and you felt disgusted in yourself when you realized it. “You aren’t like Merle. You’re so much better.”

It was almost worth celebrating when he didn’t reply, and instead remained still as a statue, towering over you in the blazing mid-afternoon sun. The same type of heat, you thought, that burned inside of his very being; one that he’d spent so many shadowed years trying to extinguish. Thinking it was wrong. Thinking it was weak to simply care about somebody. All because of one single person.

You hated Merle Dixon, and if you ever saw him again, you swore you’d make sure he’d hate you just as much.

“You said Merle would’ve done that without a second thought — but you? Look at yourself, Daryl. You obviously feel so bad, so... guilty. Otherwise you wouldn’t be standing here. Do you think Merle ever felt this way about anything he’d ever done before? Do you think he ever apologized to anyone?”

Once again, his silence was reassuring. He was listening, considering your words... you only hoped that you wouldn’t say the wrong thing this time.

“The fact that you have so much remorse just shows that you are nothing like your brother. You are so, so much better. You are worlds away from ever being anything like him, Daryl.”

You could almost hear the gears turning behind his ocean blue eyes as he took in your words, deep and powerful though they were short. You couldn’t deny you were just content that he had stopped his angry outburst although now it was clear he was far more mad at himself instead of you.

“And I... I’m so sorry for the things that I said. I hope you can forgive me. I was drunk and angry. But I want you to know that... you can trust me. And I’m here for you.”

Now, you could almost feel his stare boring through you, the intensity behind his eyes unable to be ignored as it rose the hairs on the back of your neck and sparked goosebumps that trickled down your spine with a shiver you tried to stifle.

Now what? Daryl was unpredictable. Especially when it came to raw emotions like this, you thought to yourself. Can you stop him from turning tail and running, should that be his next move? Did he believe anything you were saying?

With one swift motion, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you, warm and familiar, quick enough as to not be able to stop himself from doing so once he decided it was what he wanted to do, it seemed.

Though it was forceful, it was good. It was much more natural than the last time he’d moved that quickly toward you, you recalled. Much better actually, you realized, as you silently acknowledged that, this time, you sure as fuck didn’t flinch away and instead, hugged him back.

You looked down at the ground, sighing contently — oh. Despite your minimal clothing and every excuse to be totally naked in the cool water of your pond bath, your boots were still strapped on tight. You know... just in case.

[razorblade180]

The NaruSaku post

@perfectkidalienpatrol asked me a two questions a couple weeks ago one about restructuring Kingdom Hearts DDD and 3 to be more emotional which you find right here < [it took time, please read. Also leave a reply on this one because it also took way too much time. Thank you 😅]

The second question is about how I would write NaruSaku, which is this post. [I rewatched 60 percent of Naruto Shippuden for this. I’m not playing games here.]

I’m gonna follow the same rules I did for KH more or less. I’m not changing 90% of any major events just certain people surrounding it and I’ll add stuff that’s not unreasonable. Most of the things I’m about to say is gonna be from Sakura’s perspective since Naruto is already in love with her and have a good of his feelings towards her. I’d also like to take a moment and say I’m a person who doesn’t believe Sakura is weak or useless, but she’s sorely underused. What makes this bad is her screen time is almost always to make others around her have more of an effect or her doing something stupid because plot. Okay, let’s get the big stuff out of the way first that lays the ground work.

Part 1 of Naruto is unchanged. (Rip Sakura, she’s still of no use here.)

The start of Shippuden, all the way up to Pain is basically the same. The thing about NaruSaku is there’s plenty of ground work in the show. The series definitely shows Sakura warming up and caring about Naruto in a variety of ways. The entire blueprint is there, Kishimoto just decided to go with Hinata.

During the Rasenshuriken training, Kakashi grabs the food pill basket from Sakura and tells her stay. Since Naruto’s training is more trial by fire and repetition, Kakashi uses his free time to train Sakura. Combat, a little ninjitsu, even tricks about genjutsu and things he’s learned about sharingan. (You know, sensei stuff)

Neji will live for obvious reasons.

Okay, so my whole thought process really starts at the point in the show where Sakura falsely tells Naruto that she loves him. At this point, the show has given tons of scenes of Sakura healing Naruto, defending the way he is, acknowledged his growth, and has him as a strong motivator do whatever she can whenever she can. All while being emotionally torn because of her love for Saskue and being faced with the reality that Naruto has been in love with her forever. The scene plays out the same with Naruto not believing her and the Saskue murder team leaving. Sakura doesn’t let it show she is deeply conflicted about telling that lie. Was it a lie? It certainly wasn’t completely truthfully. Her thoughts and feelings on Naruto had been rapidly changing and confusing her little by little since he returned to the village. All she was certain of was that Naruto was a person that had become very important to her and she didn’t want to cause him any more suffering.

Fast forwarding to Sakura encountering Saskue, the encounter is only different by Sakura confessing her honest feelings to him right on the iron bridge, telling him how she’ll join his side if he can’t find it in himself to stop being a criminal. She’s unknowingly under a genjutsu that’s letting Sakura see him in front of her, pretending to care about this conversation while he’s actually about to chidori her from behind. Sakura catches on to the trick a bit too late but was fortunately saved by Kakashi. Naruto eventually shows up, the fight happens, and we get the scene where Naruto tells Saskue that they well both die the next time they fight. Two very important things come out of this entire event. The first is Sakura’s feelings for Saskue are now shattered after he tried to kill her twice, while the other thing is Sakura’s fear of Naruto’s prediction coming true.

We get back to the village and everyone starts going their separate ways except for Naruto and Sakura, because she tells him to stay back for a moment. She takes this moment to apologize to him for what she said. The guilt about the entire thing builds more and more as she continues her apology until Sakura gets so frustrated with her own actions, or lack of action. Naruto interrupts her apology before she got too far gone into self loathing and sorrow and tells her that it’s okay. Yes, his promise is a big reason for motivating him but Naruto is also in it for himself and tries to lift some of the guilt Sakura has for all of this. In the process he ends up mentioning just how much she actually does for everyone, especially him; which only makes her feel more conflicted about everything since all of his feelings are on the table clearly for her. Sakura mentally decides she having such a kind person like him always supporting her was something she wasn’t close to being worthy of, so she would strive to be that person. Sakura decides to do one more selfish act though, she asks Naruto to stay alive through all of this. Naruto simply looks at the girl that is clearly concerned about all of this and says yes, despite not knowing just how sure he can keep this promise.

At this point in the anime there’s a lot of war preparations. In one scene there’s Sakura looking at photos of the gruesome tragedies that she should expect to see as a medical ninja. A head nurse also explains how sometimes you have to prioritize who to save. Sakura then thinks to herself in a crazy circumstance where both Naruto and Saskue are fatally wounded, who would she rush to? I’m keeping this scene but giving it new context. This thought plagues her mind not because of love, but because desire. Sakura hates to admit it but she still very much hates the idea of Saskue dying. Like Naruto, she very much wants him to come back, regardless of the heartache she feels whenever she thinks about the boy who barely gave a damn. But Sakura also has made the goal to do all she can to support Naruto the right way and the thought of leaving him to die is ludicrous. Sakura shakes off the crazy thought and focuses on the task at hand. None of those ideas matter if she can’t get stronger. I like the idea of her hitting a rut someone like Ino or Shizune coming to her aid since Tsunade is busy. One of the women reinvigorates her drive by telling Sakura how Naruto is probably pushing himself to the limit as they speak. [Nine tails is beating him up] Not just for his friends, but for the world. Sakura takes that to heart, protecting everyone is the bar, not just Naruto and her friends. Sakura decides now would be a good time and take a step back, going off to train by herself until it was actually time to head into war. Kakashi would personally be the one to get her when that time came, surprised to see a very specific part of their previous training had gotten much better along with her chakra control.

On the Naruto side of things, all the same events happen. The only thing I would add for my own personal amusement would be Naruto mentioning Sakura to his mom and how they’re similar, but Sakura has no interest in him. Kushina laughs and tells him if Sakura really is anything like herself then Naruto can’t be too sure of anything until it happens. He doesn’t understand that all but nods anyways.

War starts! All the cool fights happen and the filler. All of this is same obviously because so much is going on, including injuries. Naruto eventually joins the war and sends his clones to help everywhere. The location where Sakura is stationed is under severe condition, to the point it’s about to fall apart. Injured ninja and attacks have relentlessly assaulted the place in one form or another and the medics are running on fumes. Sakura herself is barely hanging on as another wave of injured people are in desperate need of healing. Supplies are diminished to almost nothing, staff has gotten hurt, and more white zetsu were said to be headed their way. Sakura took a moment to look at the chaos of war. The overwhelming feeling of it, the pain, how everything just kept going until something gave out. She was about to give out. Her body exhausted from being up for days treating people was finally catching up with her mind in thinking about shutting down, until she thought about Naruto. She wasn’t sure why she did, but he popped into her head, as well as the numerous times he’s pushed passed the breaking point to the finish line. Then she remembered his praise about her and her vow to catch up with him. Not yet, she couldn’t be done yet. Not while there was still everyone to protect. Sakura rallied the people she could to both attack and defend what they had left. Somehow, through all the madness, the injured had been treated and another wave was taken out. More had to be done and all who were able to move were more than willing to help the ninja that had saved their life. Unfortunately, a zetsu had snuck into the ranks and was heading right for Sakura who was far to tired to defend herself from the attack she saw coming. If she got hurt then it was game over for this unit and her, now that they had basically nothing. Sakura should’ve died on the spot but a Naruto clone had finally arrived in the nick of time, beating the zetsu in an instant. Sakura couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her body gives out and Naruto catches her in a similar way Minato catches Kushina. Naruto tells everyone how awesome it was that they held out so long and they rightfully give Sakura a majority of the credit. Naruto starts to tell her how amazing that is but she passes out. He simply chuckles and tells all of them to follow her lead. He’ll step in now and let them rest. It’s his turn to protect everyone.

The next time the show cuts back to this location is when reports of Naruto clones suddenly vanishing after many tremors and explosions have happened, giving Sakura an uneasy feeling. Minutes later word reaches them that the real Naruto is fighting the masked man and Madara. Many ninja from everywhere go ready to race off to this final battle. Sakura’s had the chance to rest and is ready to give her all in any way she can, along with so many others.

[Cool shit happens! The allied shinobi force appears!]

Neji gets injured protecting Hinata and Naruto, bringing him right to deaths door and nobody is around to help him. Naruto looks around to see all the death and destruction that leads to Obito into giving his speech. So basically I just changed this scene from Neji being dead, to Neji dying and having to be left there; causing everyone to simply accept that they have to press on and that Neji isn’t going to make it. We still get the moment of Hinata snapping Naruto out of despair and Kakashi’s elaboratetion on his meaning behind the statement “I will not allow my comrades to die.” That way we still get Kurama motivating Naruto, causing Naruto to snap Lee out of his despair and then outcome plays out like it usually does; the people rallying to attack the ten tails again with the Nine Tails Power given to them. Naruto spends up all his chakra protecting everyone and gets badly injured. I had forgotten Sakura literally gave a speech to motivate ninja to do their best protecting him while she healed him, so that was nice to see.

The Hokage show up. People are hyped. Minato asks Naruto if that’s his girlfriend, to which Naruto says yes like the goofy fool he is. Sakura still hits him for it, but blushes. Minato clearly sees a lot of Kushina in Sakura, but says vocally, instead of in his head. Naruto thinks about his conversation with his mom. Sakura just tries to stay focus.

Tiny Rant-I can’t wrap my head around why this scene actually exists. This happens after Neji’s death, a cornerstone event that pushes NaruHina greatly. Why would Kishimoto almost immediately swing back in the exact opposite direction! It paints the picture that while Naruto is extremely grateful for Hinata’s actions, Sakura is still the only girl he is interested in! Neji died for NaruHina like five minutes ago!

Saskue shows up like a cool guy. We get the moment of Naruto telling Sakura to stay back after he’s fully healed; to which Sakura tells both of them how that’s not gonna happen. Team 7 is back! Another moment I don’t have to change because the show flat out shows how happy Sakura is to be standing next to the two most important men her life. She’s by their side and fighting, they don’t feel out of reach. Sakura has her team back for once and is protecting everyone thanks to Tsunade’s training. Finally, things feet right. Until they don’t.

The battle progresses naturally. Eventually the Kagoshima show up, Obito becomes a Jinjuriki, Madara is being terrible, etc. Things are spiraling out of hand pretty quickly but everyone keeps pushing as hard as they can. Then the worst happens, the crazy scenario Sakura didn’t think was possible has suddenly became reality. She feels both Naruto and Saskue’s chakra fade away, they’re down. Madara has taken both of them down. However, now isn’t time to despair on that fact. Every second matters. Two people, fatally injured, only enough time save one. The one she promised to protect to protect, or the one she desired to come back home. Time feels like it’s come to a stand still. Sakura didn’t want to imagine a world without either of them, then it hits her instantly. Sakura has been living in a world without Saskue for years now, but Naruto, the agony of a world without him gives her an immense sorrow in her heart she refused to ever feel again. It was the same sorrow she felt when Saskue left that night years ago. The sorrow of the one you love leaving you. Sakura realizes that she does in fact love Naruto, and she isn’t about to let it fade. She will keep her promise. Sakura rushes to go save him, fearing she’s wasted enough time as it is. In actually, Sakura had made that decision in less than second. She had been running his way the moment his chakra stopped.

With the help of Gaara and Minato, Sakura is managed to save Naruto. Minato has been watching the worry the girl tried to hide and stared again how much she was like Kushina. He then thanks her for looking after his son. Sakura corrects him, giving Minato thanks for bringing someone who cares so much about her and support her into this world, despite the many slip ups and pain she has inflicted on Naruto. Minato tells her that he didn’t have to be around long to know his son must feel same sentiment towards her, if not greater. They get informed that Saskue has been recovered and receiving medical aid. Sakura feels a weight lift from her shoulders. Both of them, she still in a world with both of them.

[More craziness happens! Night Guy!!!!!! All the hype stuff!]

Naruto and Saskue are back in action! Naruto save Guy, then he gives Kakashi an eye. Everyone is impressed, but not as impressed as the moment he senses that Neji isn’t dead yet and heals him to the point he’ll live; Neji is still completely out of commission though, but it’ll be quite the surprise for Hinata, her father, and Team Guy.

More of the same stuff happens all the way up and through Kaguya. Sakura gets a little bit of emotional whiplash by Saskues actions. One minute he’s looking out for himself, the next he’s actually saves her from a threat. It’s a very confusing couple of minutes. It’s welcomed though, it’s like old times. Things just might get back to some since of it in Sakura’s eyes.

[He is so rude! Still love him though.]

Now we’re gonna skip to after Kaguya is beaten. Team 7 has saved the world. Now they just have to release the people, except Saskue is still on his nonsense. Naruto confronts Saskue about his plan to kill the Kage. Sakura could feel her heart sink. They were going to fight again. If that happened then Naruto’s prediction might come true, they would die. Naruto would die. Sakura couldn’t stand still and ran in between the two unexpectedly. Sakura pleaded to Saskue to just stop for once in his life. That if he ever cared about her and Naruto in any form, then the fighting would stop here; reminding him of what Naruto said about dying. Saskue takes a step closer and Sakura’s tearfully eyes hardened. This wasn’t going to be like last time. Sakura wasn’t going to hesitate to use force and Saskue could tell. “You really are annoying.” He says before activating a genjutsu, but it doesn’t work on her. This was it, the exact thing her training with Kakashi and by herself had been about. Constant days of intense chakra control and being trapped in various visual genjutsu that Sakura had to learn resist/breakout of. Saskue had made his answer clear, but Sakura refused to let him dismiss her like that and charged at him. She knew she was outmatched. She knew that there was only so much she could actually do against him, but that wasn’t going to stop her from trying. Sakura was going to stand up properly to Saskue and give everything she had to prevent an unavoidable fight. The fire in her was immense, but the fight was over in no time, ending with Saskue knocking her out from behind like when he first left her behind. Naruto was pissed and Kakashi rushed to her. All that effort and pleading from someone who wanted nothing more than to be by her comrades, tossed to the side like a leaf in the wind. The final confrontation had begun. Naruto vs Saskue.

[One exceptional fight 10/10 fight later]

Sakura has woken up and is racing to the Final Valley in absolute terror, along with Kakashi behind her. He didn’t show it but he was fearing the worst as well. He could see tears fly off of Sakura as she took off. Her mind was flooding and rejecting thoughts all at once the whole way there. All she wanted was the reality of the outcome. Whatever it was, she’d have to face it. What she faced was a miracle. The ability to save both of her friends who were definitely battered and broken, but alive. The fighting was finally over. Saskue apologized to her, noticing just how angry she stil was through her tearfully relieved expression. Sakura told him to shut up. The emotional rollercoaster she was dealing with was crazy enough as it is.

Fast forward to Team 7 at the Hidden Leaf Gate to see Saskue leave. Instead of Sakura asking to join, she walks up to him with confidence, giving both a playful and serious attitude. She holds her fist out and taps his chest. “Get into trouble and I’ll stand in your way again to knock the sense back into you.” Naruto’s jaw drops hearing that. Saskue smile then flicks her forehead. “Still annoying, thank you.” Sakura can’t help but smile back. Naruto gives Saskue his old headband and then the man sets off.

Naruto lets out a huge sigh as he walks back into the village with Sakura. He feels exhausted from the whole legal experience but there was more things to be done, but first, he was starving. He started waving goodbye to Sakura until she asks to go too, offering to pay. Naruto was shocked. His ears had to be playing tricks. He turned back around to see Sakura not directly looking at his face but she clearly talking to him. He could tell her face was a little pink too. “You know, like a date...” Sakura said, walking past him. Naruto stood motionless for a couple of seconds before catching up with her. “How about we go halfies?” Naruto asked. He had asked this same question when he asked her on a ramen date so long ago. Sakura remembers this and can’t help but giggle. The fact that she had rejected such a gesture before was embarrassing to say the least, now it was too her benefit and it was still dumb. The more things change, the more they stay the same. “It’s a date.”

The the tail end of the show where time skips gives us how they continued to grow closer and do these little dates until the moment Sakura tells Naruto that she loves him one moonlit night by the training field or academy swing. This time those words are real, and Naruto gets emotional because he finally gets to say those words back, their promises fulfilled. The final episode is their marriage. The start of their new and strongest promise to each other.

There, I’m done. In summary, what if Sakura stopped liking a person because they tried killing her and everyone she cared about. You know, sane people stuff. She’s a smart girl with critical thinking skills and able to blossom in many areas in her life, and yet the series didn’t let her fully exlpore or evolve it in the one area that arguably mattered the most. How her relationships with Naruto and Saskue. They left it one note even though many scenes and articles point into the direction of her affection towards Naruto was growing. They even paralleled her with Kushina. It’s so weird to lay all that ground if that isn’t the route. Those moments of romantic growth could’ve gone to Hinata, the one with nearly zero interaction throughout the series. I can only think of four scenes, two of them being in part 1 of Naruto. It’s weird.

Side note:If anyone is having a hard time believing Sakura could learn a way to resist genjutsu, Deidara did it with one of his eyes to deal with Itachi, and also didn’t fall of Saskue’s. You can not convince me Sakura wouldn’t learn a way, someone with far more control and an affinity for that kind of thing. Especially with the help of Kakashi. Also it’s just very thematic that the two people Saskue wanted to push away the most, could see right through him and render one of his major things useless.

[jinmukangwrites]

Whumptober Day 12

Broken Bones | Broken Trust

Ao3

Warnings: panic attacks, death of oc bad guy, misunderstandings, attempted kidnapping, threats against minor and infant, gun violence

-o-o-o-o-

Three years ago, Batman and Robin sat together above an old but locally trusted doughnut shop. The sun was nowhere to be found while the stars and moon hid behind storm clouds that threatened to rain at any second. For now though, the two vigilante's busied themselves with the slightly stale but still edible doughnuts the shop was about to throw away. It wasn't like they asked for the doughnuts, but sometimes Gotham's citizens showed appreciation for their local heroes in their own ways. 

Dick didn't think Damian’s ever had a crappy, all American doughnut before. By the looks on Damian's face behind his domino mask, he didn't like it. But it was a kind of dislike where you continued to eat it simply because it was a gift and there was nothing else to eat. Besides, Damian made that face for every meal given to him, even the ones Alfred prepared. Dick knew the poor kid was still adjusting to the food culture here. Dick  understood  it. He had to go through it too. 

Damian, despite his visual displeasure of the pastry, finished before Dick and sat there with a lax look on his face, kicking his legs out to a tune only he knew, letting the backs of his boots bounce off the lip of the rooftop they sat over. 

Damian had been quiet all night. Less chatty. Less insults thrown... even towards criminals. Dick knew something was on his mind, but he didn't quite know how to ask what was wrong. He was still learning Damian. And while the kid was… something like  close  with Dick, closer than what he was with anyone else in their shattered family, he still didn't like it whenever anyone so much as suggested he wasn't as calm, cool, and collected as he made pretend to be. 

Dick quickly stuffed the rest of his doughnut in his mouth, knowing Alfred already somehow knew they broke their diets and was preparing some sort of verbal rant session for the two of them, and turned to Damian. Cleared his throat. 

"Hey, Dami-an?" He asked, quickly continuing from where he accidentally almost left off with the nickname. Dick knew the kid secretly liked Dick's subtle way of showing affection with nicknames, but he would also sometimes bristle because he felt he needed to. Dick didn't want to immediately put him on edge. 

"Names, Batman," Damian replied, but it sounded half-hearted. They both knew the only thing listening to them right now was the mouse scuttling around in the dumpster in the alleyway below. 

Because Damian didn’t sound like he was going to say much more, Dick took a deep breath and took that as Damian’s response.

“You know, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me, right?”

Damian didn’t reply, but his kicking legs slowed to a stop and his lips tugged down into a frown. Whether it was a thoughtful frown or an upset one, Dick couldn’t quite totally tell, especially from this side angle.

Dick was almost ready to jot this down as the end of the conversation when against all odds Damian opened his mouth with a shaky breath.

“Nothing is bothering me... Grayson,” he said slowly, carefully, like he was afraid the slightest misunderstood word would cause Dick to cast him off. “I’m just... thinking. About...” Damian paused. Dick remained silent. Damian took another deep breath, sinking back into his shell ever so slightly. “I was just thinking about how much... I unexpectedly enjoy being your partner. And that I am... honored to be trusted by you.”

Dick smiled and lifted one arm, wrapping his grasp around Damian and pulling him close to his side. Damian squawked, but it wasn’t angry. Dick squeezed his one-armed embrace tighter. “I’m happy you told me, little D. And, I hope you know that I don’t only trust you to be Robin, but I trust you with every aspect of my life. You’re family now, Dami. And I want you to know that you can trust me  too  . With  anything . I will always take your side. I’ll never assume the worst of you. You can trust me as much as you can trust that it’ll rain in Gotham tomorrow.”

Damian’s frown turned upwards ever so slowly. The beginnings of a smile. It made Dick grin wider. “I’ll remember that, Grayson,” Damian said, his voice oddly reverent. Damian ducked out of his embrace now, jumping to his feet and brushing stale doughnut crumbs from the bottom of his tunic. He pulled up his hood just as the first flash of lightning struck through the air, bringing an earthquake of thunder and a sudden sheet of rain. “It appears we have a patrol to finish before we’re soaked to the bone.”

“It appears so,” Dick laughed, and the thought of some criminal seeing him laugh like this, dressed like the dreaded Batman of Gotham and  laughing  caused him to almost laugh  harder .

With a nod to his young Robin, they both pulled out their grapples like a well oiled machine and jumped together out into the night. 

-o-o-o-o-

“Robin,” Batman’s voice commands, bringing Damian out of the focus he has on his current task. He looks up from the woman he’s helping to her feet, having gotten knocked over by the retreating bandits of her jewelry store to see his father scuffling with the three out of five burglars that haven’t managed to book it. “Door!”

Damian, right there, once again for the millionth time since his father has been back from being lost in the time stream, is reminded of the different expectations Richard and his father both have and had as Batman. While Richard would prioritize making sure everyone was okay before giving chase, father would give chase after making a mental note that everyone was at least  breathing .

It’s been two years since Damian’s been his blood father’s Robin. He doesn’t know why he still leans towards Richard’s way of things.

Damian nods and lets go of the woman, sticking around just a heartbeat longer to make sure she doesn’t fall over, but the moment he sees that she can balance on her own he turns tail and jumps over the smashed glass counters towards the emergency back door of the little jewelry shop.

He bursts outside the door, stepping out into the suffocatingly dirty air of Gotham that he can never get used to. He looks down the alleyway he has emerged into and pulls out one of his swords the moment he sees the two escapee bandits sprinting down the alleyway towards the road.

And Damian can’t have that. He begins chase, pumping his legs with practiced ease, the cape tugging on his neck as he tugs up his hood. One of the bandits looks behind her and gives a startled yelp when she sees him ever approaching. They run faster, but they’re heading to a chain linked fence that reaches up at least a story to prevent trespassers. Shockingly, the wires haven’t been cut through. They must have been recently replaced. 

Because most fences have more holes cut into them than what they should in this city. 

The man in this escaping duo grabs onto the fence and begins to attempt to climb. Damian uses his free hand to dig into his utility belt and throw with deadly— accurate , not deadly—precision a batarang with a small electric shock coded into its blades. He hits his mark, the man’s left shoulder, and soon the man is crying out and falling to the ground with his arm twitching. The woman swears and turns, pulling out a gun and dropping the bag of jewels she had been carrying and aims with shaky hands towards Damian.

Damian jolts to the side just as she fires her first shot, the bullet whizzing a pathetic distance to his side and sending sparks into the brick wall. Because of her laughable aiming and panicked actions, Damian manages to close in quickly and swing his sword. The blunted side of his blade—the side he’s become accustomed to using more often than its sharp counterpart—hits the inside of her wrist and knocks the gun to the ground. 

“ Fuck ,” she yells, grabbing her wrist and backing up like a cornered animal

Easy. Damian almost feels sorry for them. The man is getting back to his feet, but his legs are shaky and his face pale. The woman looks about ready to try and dart past Damian, but the alleyway is too narrow, especially with the various dumpsters lining the walls, for her to go much anywhere. 

"Will we do this simply?" Damian asks, bringing his sword out in front of him. "Or will you both continue to embarrass yourselves?"

"Fuck this bullshit," the man hissed, then pulls out a gun of his own that Damian honestly should have expected. It doesn't matter though, because the man's aim is just as off as the woman's and the bullet slams into the side of one of the dumpsters. 

And Damian was about to charge forward and put an end to this, but then an unexpected noise fills the alleyway. 

The screeching, terrified cry of an infant. 

Damian has just enough time to realize that the infant's cry is coming from the dumpster before the woman is charging forward and ramming himself into Damian's side. Damian swears—just barely in control of his emotions with the heightened risk of a  dumpster  baby to keep the curse in English—and carefully turns his body so when his opposite side hits the alleyway wall, it doesn't hurt too much. Hands grab for Damian's chest, thick arms attempting to wrap around his upper body to physically restrain him but Damian has none of it. 

With a dirty kick to the man's groin, Damian slips out of his grasp and brings his sword back in front of him. He looks at the burglars, about to charge, but then freezes in his tracks when he sees the woman standing by the dumpster, a wriggling bundle of moth eaten blankets in one arm while her free hand aims her partner's gun down. 

And of course this doesn't shock Damian. If these two are willing to shoot Damian, who is clearly physically a  child , then what gripes would they have with shooting an infant. 

"Back away, you shit," the woman hisses. 

The baby wails. Tiny lungs heaving for air, but not being able to grab enough before it's sobbing again. And for a second, Damian can't move. Trapped between wanting to stop these thieves and do as he's told and wanting to keep the baby safe. The innocent child that has done nothing wrong. Abandoned by its parents, left to either die or be found by someone willing to let it live. 

"The infant has no part in this-" Damian tries, but the woman scowls and presses the gun down, the barrel stabbing into the blankets and causing the baby's cries to rise. The man slowly backs away from Damian towards the chain link fence. Damian takes a step back, and then weighs his options. 

And in the end, there really isn't any. His father values the capture of criminals, but Damian was taught by Richard, who had always put the needs of the innocent above and beyond anything else. Is there anything in this world more innocent than a newborn? Damian can’t let this child be harmed. And he can’t trust it in these thieves' care. 

He makes to lower his sword, the woman slightly relaxes, then Damian  moves . 

Dropping a flare from a compartment in his gauntlet, Damian slams into the woman just as the alley erupts into light. Damian manages to grab the baby from the woman's hand and back up a few steps just as the light is beginning to fade, but then a heavy body jumps into his own. The baby screeches in Damian's ear as they both go down hard, and it's all Damian can do to protect its head as the man lands on top of them. 

Heavy legs begin to straddle his waist, a deep voice cussing threats. Damian's on his side, struggling to breathe, cradling a baby with his cape in one hand and realizing his other hand is empty. He has dropped his sword somewhere in the confusion. 

And maybe it's the adrenalin. Maybe it's the hand that slammed down on his head and pinned his face into the dirty cemented ground. Maybe it's the screaming baby in his ears, or the way it writhed, tiny limbs flailing for someone who would take it away and keep it safe. Maybe it was the intense desire to just. Keep. The. Baby. Safe. 

Damian let's instincts take over. He let's the baby's survival outweigh everything else. In a blink of an eye, the man on top of him goes still and warm liquid splatters all over Damian's face and chest, causing the already distraught baby to become more upset.

He recognizes the feel of blood. He recognizes the shape of his right handed sword in his left. He recognizes the sound of a man gurgling on his own blood, going limp and falling to the ground. When Damian opens his eyes, he recognizes the way the man twitches weakly, hands going up to the gaping cut in his neck. The blood spews from his open throat and mixes with the puddles of rainwater that never go away. The woman screams. The grasping fingers do nothing to stop the blood. 

And the horror sets in.

And Damian doesn't even have time to contemplate what he's done. He stares dumbly for a drop of time. A single grain of sand. Before he can do anything—cradle the child, staunch the flow of blood, stop the woman from screaming, cry cry cry because he messed up—a dark shadow moves behind him.

"Robin," a voice growls. 

And it's all Damian can do to continue cradling the child as Batman rushes to the fallen, dying man, and presses his hands against his neck. 

The baby sobs weakly, all of its energy spent, and Damian sits there until the life of the man ultimately fades away regardless of Batman's efforts. 

He… he didn't mean to.

-o-o-o-o-

Dick staggers into his apartment, feeling more like shit than the actual shit he had to go through tonight. Literally and figuratively. And he thought Gotham sewers were the worst. Dick's never going to complain about Gotham sewers ever again. 

Dick needs a shower. Pronto. To both wash off all the  icky  from his skin and the blood too. Tonight's been rough. Rough like sandpaper. Viciously rough like the skin of a shark. Criminals tonight were  on  one. Causing him to go every which way in the city, stopping bank robberies, drug deals, attempted kidnappings, a few premeditated murders here and there. And the worst of the matter was that at one murder he happened to stumble upon—as you do in Blüdhaven—the cops, on complete happenstance, managed to actually show up early this time. 

Dick just barely managed to not get directly shot in the head before jumping down the nearest manhole cover. They weren't cops he recognized. Ones he didn't know and trust from his old days on the force. BCPD, despite his constant efforts, just never seem to trust him. Always wanted to connect him to crimes. Turn the city against him. He can guarantee that tomorrow the headlines will read NIGHTWING: MAN SLAYER? or something just as false and untrue. So now he's going to be at the highest of the cops shit-list and it's going to be so fucking difficult to find who the actual murderer was. 

Just. Great. 

He needs a shower. 

He carefully maneuvers through his apartment, not wanting to drop anything gross from his soaking legs and boots onto anything important, and eventually manages to get to his bathroom without managing to completely destroy anything with sewage water. 

He's in the middle of stripping down to his grimy skin when his phone begins to vibrate on the bathroom counter. Dick ignores it for the moment and turns on the shower, a flash of irritation shooting through his nerves. 

Whoever needs him this early in the day can wait. He has 6 hours to shower, eat, then sleep before work starts. 

He's stepping into the shower when his phone stops vibrating. 

Then it immediately begins again. 

Dick sighs. So much for getting any sleep tonight. Maybe he can skip eating?

He pokes his head out of the shower and frowns. 

"B" is on the caller ID. 

Ugh. Okay, so this one he might actually need to take. He regretfully gets out of the shower and wipes his hands on the nearest towel before picking up his phone and sliding the answer button.

He brings the phone up to his ear. 

"What's up?" He asks. 

Bruce's voice growls in his ear. Dick almost jokes about how Bruce should have said something kinder and happier and ask how Dick's day had been, but then he processes the words said to him and freezes. 

"What?" He asks. 

Bruce continues. Dick slowly sits down on the toilet seat, able to do nothing but blink and process. Dick takes a deep breath.

"Is he okay? No- Bruce I know, but that doesn't- Damian doesn't just-"

"…"

"I see… no, I know.  I know . I can't Bruce, I have work-"

Frustration bubbles in his chest. "Bruce, he's  your  kid. Whatever happened tonight must have happened for a reason, and it's  your  job- I- Why do you think he only listens to me?!" Dick stands up from the toilet. "I'm the only one who bothers to listen to  him  half the time. Bruce did you even  ask  him why-? I can't come over."

"Bruce I can't-"

Dick takes a deep breath.  Fine ! Fine… fine. Fine, I'll come over. Just… give me a minute? I'll be over.…"

"I know, Bruce. I know. I understand. Mhm. K. Yeah. Bye."

Dick clicks off his phone and groans, leaning against the toilet's tank. 

So much for his ingenious plan of shower, food, sleep. He stands up and quickly washes the worst of the sewage off of him, then uses a towel to dry himself quicker. After walking briskly to his room and stuffing his still damp body into the nearest shirt, clean pair of underwear, and sweats he could find, he grabs the keys to his bike and is on his way towards Gotham. 

The entire way, he can only focus on the knot of worry in his throat. 

He was irritated. Frustrated. He's not Damian's father.  Bruce  should be the one to find out what was going on with the kid and what would lead him to… to  kill . 

But at the same time, he knew something more had to be going on. Damian doesn't kill. That isn't a part of his life anymore. 

This entire situation needs to be got to the bottom of. Dick just wished he had more than three hours of sleep from the night before while going into this himself. 

-o-o-o-o-

Damian's been back at the manor for about an hour and a half, hiding away in his bedroom while his father dealt with the police, the dead body, and the abandoned baby that had to be forced from Damian's arms. 

He took a shower. Scrubbed his skin so it's still raw and red. There's no blood on him, but he can smell it. The stench is powerful. Potent. So much so he's almost tempted to sneak from his room and grab that sinus teapot Alfred the Butler liked so much. 

But leaving his room involved… leaving his room. Besides, he's already stuffed his face under the shower faucet, nearly waterboarding himself to get out a fetor that's clearly and simply all his imagination. 

He can only imagine what will happen to him when his father returns. What kind of… punishment that awaits him. Damian knows he's not the first in the family to have killed. But for some reason, Damian's always felt a pressure on him that must have been heavier than the rest. The others slipped from their lighted paths and made mistakes. Mistakes can be forgotten and forgiven. Damian, however, was born into this shadowed path of death and gore. He fought his way up to justice, crawled up the slope of redemption with bloodied hands and knees. 

Damian killing again? Like this? It was him returning to his old ways. 

It wasn't a mistake. It was Damian showing his true colors. 

And that scares Damian, so he doesn't think about it longer. He's faced punishments far worse than what Batman would ever give. He can take whatever his father gives. 

Even if it… even if he takes Robin away. Damian will take it. 

He just feels like there's something missing in all of this. Something Damian himself isn't grasping. Saying he's killed a man so easily feels wrong. Untrue. Like his own brain is trying to convince him that he's wrong. He didn't murder. At least, he didn't do it with a cold heart. Like the entire night was a giant puzzle, and there was one piece missing that could change the entire picture.

He's reading too much into it. He hopes the baby, at least, is fine. Maybe father can adopt it. Replace Damian with a real child. 

There's a knock on his door, thankfully tearing him away from those thoughts. 

He looks up from where he's been picking at his clean nails, trying to get every last bit of invisible dried blood from his person. The door is knocked on again, and Damian stands up. Something in his chest flutters with panic, but he ignores it and lifts his chen proudly. He will not cower into his father's fury. 

He will not. 

He opens the door, and then  everything  falters.

It's not father. It's Richard. 

And the fluttering panic turns into trembling hope.  Richard  . Standing in front of him is none other than the one person Damian can  always  trust to find those last, tiny little puzzle pieces to make everything okay again. Damian thinks he smiles, but his face feels too raw from scrubbing—and definitely not wiping away tears—for him to be sure. 

He almost greets Richard, but then he notices how haggard and worn he looks. His clothes don't match. His hair is a mess. There's a strange stench that almost overpowers the blood that sticks to Damian like super glue.

"Richard?" Damian asks, trying to sound braver than what he actually all of a sudden felt. He has no need to be fearful of Richard… so why does he rapidly feel so afraid when Richard gives him a cold look and steps into the room?

"Sit," Richard says, pointing to the bed. Damian does as he's told, slowly. He tries to think of what Richard would be so upset about. Surely he's not here to simply carry on the will of their father and punish Damian himself? "Bruce told me to talk to you."

"I see…" Damian says, scooting to the side to make room for Richard to sit besides him. Richard doesn't take the offer. He stands tall above Damian, his arms across his chest. 

He remains silent as Richard takes a deep breath. He remains frozen as Richard begins to speak. "Bruce told me you killed someone."

And those words coming out of Richard's mouth… hurts. Hurts enough for Damian to realize that they're  not  true. They  can't  be true. Damian… he doesn't kill. He  doesn't . And there has to be... some sort of explanation he hasn't realized yet. He opens his mouth. "I didn't kill him."

And it sounds true. It  feels  true. 

But Richard's face doesn't soften. It doesn't fade into sympathy and understanding like Damian had… expected it to. In fact, much the opposite happens. Richard's face screws up like he's bitten into something bitter. It makes the bags under his eyes so much sharper. Damian wonders how much sleep he's gotten. 

"You sliced a man's  throat  ," Richard argues.  Argues  . It shouldn't shock Damian, but it does. He can just sit there and Richard  glares  at him and begins to pace, wringing his hands together with jolting movements. "Jesus, Damian. Fucking  Christ ."

Damian's rooted to the spot. His mouth dry. Richard… has never sworn at Damian like this before. Has never been this visibly angry. 

"I've had a long ass week," Richard continues, his voice rising to almost hysterical. "And right when I'm about to take a  shower  and go to  bed  , your dad calls me and tells me a man died tonight. A newbie burglar. That you could have fought off  easily  . Bruce doesn't know how to deal with you.  No  one knows how to deal with you. So I'm forced to drag my ass over here to find out what happened while Bruce deals with the  cops  and-"

"I didn't kill him on purpose!" Damian shouts, shocking himself with the anger that shook his tone. Richard stops his pacing and looks at Damian without a smidge of belief. It sends a dagger through Damian's gut. "There was a baby, and I just wanted to-"

Richard releases a bitter laugh, stopping Damian mid sentence; he sinks to the ground and places his elbows on his knees, cradling his forehead in his hands between his curled up body. "I'm too tired for this, Dames. I'm really too tired."

"Richard-"

"Just," Richard huffs, rubs his temples, "stop."

Damian snaps his mouth shut. His chest feels tight. He's seen Richard worn down like this before. He's seen how far Richard can fall in the right circumstances. But never before has his… frustrations ever been directed at Damian like this. Never before has Damian been so obviously the cause of his headaches. 

A beat of silence passes and Richard exhales. Doesn't bother to look up. "What's done is done. We'll deal with this and… figure out what to do with you later."

"What to do with me?" Damian repeats, and he hopes his voice didn't squeak. It probably did. That sentence somehow hurts more than anything. "You mean… get rid of me?"

Now Richard looks up, his eyes as wide and shocked as his red rimmed eyelids would allow. "Damian-"

"You're finally done with me," Damian continues, standing up from the bed and crossing his arms to hide the way his hands are beginning to shake. He can't breathe. "I make one mistake- I try to explain- and you want to get rid of me?"

Richard shakes his head. "No- no of course not-"

"You said you trust me." Damian feels something wet gather at the corners of his eyes. He ignores it. For all he knew, it could simply be blood. Murderers don't deserve to cry real tears. "And I can trust you. You said you'll always take my side."

Something hot falls down his cheek. Richard looks genuinely lost on what to do now. Of course he is lost. Father  forced  him to  deal  with Damian because no one else wants to bother. Damian's always been different from the others. A parasite. Something unwanted. Father chose the rest of his kids, but Damian was involuntary in every sense of the word. 

Damian's killed a lot of people. Damian's hard to get along with. Most people don't invite him places because they know he'll bring down the mood. Richard was the  one  person who looked past all that and gave him a chance. Saw the good in Damian that Damian had once thought was a weakness. 

Damian didn't  murder  the man tonight. He saved a baby. He was… defending himself. He- he let his instincts take over. So why is Damian to blame for that? Why should he be made out to be a monster when his instincts are still very much the very things he was brainwashed to believe since he was big enough to hold a sword? 

"You  promised , Richard," Damian chokes. Why is he getting so emotional? Somewhere, deep inside him, he’s always known this would happen. It was always just a matter of time before everything came falling down around him. That he'd chase everyone away to the point that neither his mother's family nor his father's would want him. 

He wipes his eyes. 

"I  trusted  you."

"Damian," Richard finally speaks, but Damian shakes his head and runs towards his bedroom door without a single glance back.

He's through the hall, down the stairs towards the library, and into the cave all before he finally sucks in a jittering lungful of air. He scrambles for his bike, wiping blurs from his vision. He's speeding out the cave right as a voice shouts his name. 

He's too far away, driving too fast, to care. 

-o-o-o-o-

Damian's never had a panic attack before, but by the time he skids his bike to a stop in some random part of Gotham, he thinks he might be experiencing one.

His nerves are shot. His hands don't want to hold still. His vision keeps blurring and his chest really  really  hurts like his heart is finally deciding it doesn't want to belong to him anymore.

Why is he panicking like this? He's overreacting. He knows he is. He's still in a stupor thanks to the events that conspired a few hours earlier. He's still in disbelief that Richard has finally shown how little he actually values Damian's opinion. But these things don't warrant a panic attack. 

He's literally been through hell and back.

This should feel like nothing compared to that. 

And yet? It feels like a single pin has cracked through the surface of a frozen lake. A simple, stupid little thing hit the exact right places to send him spiraling. 

He hates this. He can't breath. His ribs hurt like they're broken. His head is fuzzy and he's overreacting and maybe Richard didn't actually mean what Damian thought he did. 

His knees give out and he scrambles backwards, splaying his hands on the ground and trying to grasp onto  something , but his back just hits the wall. With blurry eyes, he looks up to see he's parked in an alley. Of course he has. He can practically imagine a tall, chain link fence and a corpse laying in front of it, blood pooling around him like spilled ink. 

He sucks in a breath, or maybe he sobs, and buries his head in his knees. His hands fly to his hair and he tries to  think . 

But he can't. Because father doesn't want to deal with him. Richard deals with him because he's obligated to. All the other so-called siblings of this—that—family don't even have Damian's number. They don't want to talk with him. They don't invite him anywhere. They always look at him like he's made of slime. 

Damian understands. If he met someone exactly like him, all he'd see would probably be an irredeemable murderer too. 

Something suddenly sounds from down the street. Damian startles out from his cradled position to see moving shadows further down the alleyway. Panicked, Damian scrambles to his feet; his vision tilts and his legs shake as he does so, but he forces his body to move. He's dressed as Damian Wayne. Robin's cycle is right besides him. 

Damian can't mess up a second time tonight. 

He thinks maybe about jumping on the bike and riding away, but he can still hardly breathe. Do panic attacks normally last this long?! How does he get them to stop?!

Knowing it would be dangerous to ride in the state he's in, he uses every drop of will power he had to shove the vehicle behind a dumpster— a  dumpster where a sobbing child lays, vulnerable to the nearest person with a taste for death and a gun in their hand. He shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek to try and focus. Once he's sure the bike is hidden and out of the way, he turns around to find an escape route he can take while still compromised like this. 

His vision wobbles and he stumbles. A voice he doesn't recognize calls out. 

How would Richard say it? Oh yeah.  Fucking  Christ. 

Damian turns, heart in his throat, and begins to run the other direction, but somehow his unexpected guests catch up quicker than what they should. A rough hand the size of his entire bicep wraps around his upper arm, tugging him out of his uneven retreat and into a sturdy chest that  reeks  of marijuana. 

"What's a kid like you doing out here all alone?" A voice asks. Woman. Damian tries not to choke, but the stupid panic attack isn't  leaving . It's just getting worse. He brings his free arm to grab at the restraining hold on him, but he gets nowhere. 

The man holding him chuckles. Tightens his grip around Damian arm and chest. Damian can’t stop the whimper that leaves his throat; the pressure is enough to easily bruise. His eyes sting traitorously. 

A third man steps in front of Damian. He looks like a rat personified. "The poor thing looks terrified," the man sneers. "Maybe we should take him somewhere safe. Off the streets."

Damian shakes his head, gasping, tears streaming down his face. Pathetic.  Pathetic . He's better than this. He tries to breathe, but he just chokes again. He fights to be back in control of his own mind again and pulls his free elbow back, hitting the man holding him in the gut. 

The man groans, meaning Damian has managed to actually hit him effectively even in his compromised state, but the man doesn't really let go. In fact, the opposite happens. The man tightens his grip to an almost agonizing kind of pressure, then throws Damian to the side and against the dumpster. 

Damian hits awkwardly, his arm in front of his chest when he hits face on. He hears something snap. He hears his own scream. But he doesn't feel the pain until he's blinking stars from his vision, curled up on the ground. 

And now? Nothing makes sense. He's trapped in a haze of pain and terror that all he can see through his teared up vision is three vague, human-like forms approaching him. All he can hear is echoing laughter and the distant sounds of sirens going in the opposite direction. 

Damian would cry if he wasn't already. 

A heartless hand wraps around his arm again, dragging him to his feet with an uncaring roughness that sends Damian reeling with pain. It's this moment that Damian knows he's lost. He can't fight back like this. Not dazed and trapped in his own mind like this. He wonders what they'll do to him. Gotham criminals aren't like others. They don't care if their victim is a kid. 

They'll torture, beat, abduct,  rape  him the same they would any adult. 

He wants to fight back. He wants to go home and fall to his father's feet and beg forgiveness. He doesn't want this. He's being manhandled further down, away from the mouth of the alleyway, away from his bike, away from the home he was so sure he used to have. 

With his good arm, he clutches to the shirt of the person dragging him away. He can't find his feet, he can't find his brain. 

He doesn't want this. He didn't mean for this to happen. Not any of this. 

He closes his eyes and tears drip.

However, right as he lets his eyes fall closed to accept his fate, a fourth voice shouts into the alley. A familiar voice. One that has him shooting his eyes open in shock. 

Richard is wearing an old Nightwing suit. But it's still undeniably him. Looking pissed as hell. The escrima sticks in his hands already sparking with electricity. 

Damian let's his eyes fall back closed. He goes limp as Richard makes embarrassingly quick work of Damian's would be kidnappers. Embarrassing for who? Damian's not sure. He feels mostly like crap.

Soon enough, he's back on the ground, gasping for air as familiar arms wrap around him and pull him closer. And even though Damian feels betrayed and lied to and broken, he immediately relaxes against Richard's chest, forcing himself to listen to the breaths Richard takes and match them accordingly. He has his broken arm cradled to his chest, and Richard is impossibly gentle while lifting him up so he hadley feels it jostle. 

"I've got him B," Nightwing says, sounding breathless and angry. "I'm bringing him back."

-o-o-o-o-

"I watched the cowl footage," Richard says while driving the Batmobile; Damian sits in the passenger seat as they make their ways back to the cave. 

Damian doesn't speak. Just looks out the window. Pretends his arm that's in a makeshift split doesn't hurt to high heavens. 

Richard takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Damian."

That gets Damian's attention. He looks over at Richard and his eyebrows raise at the sight before him. Richard looks… torn. Face a mixture of a deep sadness and guilt that surely must be turning his knuckles white around the steering wheel.

"Bruce saw you kill someone. I saw you pinned and protecting an infant. I saw you grab the wrong blade with your wrong hand, but use it in the way I taught you. If you were using your left handed sword, you would have hit him with the blunt side."

And the missing pieces slowly fall into place. 

"The police aren't going to press charges," Richard continues, "as far as they're concerned, it was out of self defense."

And just like that, things make a perfect picture. 

But Damian... doesn't feel as relieved as he should be, even though now he has proof that his natural instincts aren't to kill, but only to disable. 

"You didn't believe me," Damian whispers. But it's so loud inside the car. 

"I know," Richard replies with a tight and wet voice. "I know. I… you were right. I told you I'll always take your side… and I  didn't  this time. I was frustrated and angry with Bruce and I took that out on you instead of doing what I promised I'd always do…"

"You only came because father  forced  you to."

Richard winces. Bites his lip. Inhales deeply. "He couldn't force me to stay away from you, Dami… I just… it's been a really long week. And it… it frustrates me to see that even after all these years, I'm still more of a da- guardian to you than he is. He calls me whenever he doesn't understand something about you. I just  wish  he'd learn to understand. I know he's doing his best, but… I'm not your dad. I can't… I can't run at every dime to help you when he should have… I guess I'm saying Damian is that I would drop the whole world to be with you. I just wish Bruce would… "

Make the same effort. 

Damian understands. 

"You're so easy to love, Damian," Richard whispers. "So  easy ."

Damian licks his lips. "So… you still mean what you said?"

Richard frowns slightly. 

Damian elaborates. "All those things you said. That I can trust you no matter what. That if father never came back you would have adopted me yourself."

"Yes," Richard says immediately. 

"So if I asked you," Damian continues, tugging at the fabric of his pants with his uninjured arm, "right now to turn around and drive to Blüdhaven. Let me take your guest room. Tell father he can't have me back. You would do it?'

"Yes."

Immediately. Damian feels his throat tighten. 

The Batmobile slows to a stop off to the side of the empty streets just outside Bristol. Richard breathes for a moment. Then turns towards Damian fully. 

"Is this… you asking?"

Is it? 

Damian bites his lip. 

Then he shakes his head. 

"No. I know my father is trying his best. I wish… to try a little more with him."

Richard nods. Just nods. Doesn't express disappointment or relief. And Damian feels like the world is right again. 

"He loves you Dames," Richard says. "He's terrible at showing it. But I meant it when I said you're so  easy  to love. Just not everyone is as awesome at what makes you tick as I am."

"Careful to not be too humble, Richard," Damian teases, wiping at his cheeks which are wet again.

Richard laughs and leans over the seats of the Batmobile to pull Damian into a careful embrace. 

"I'm sorry," Richard whispers. 

Damian smiles. His chest feels lighter than what it has in awhile. 

"It's okay. I trust you.”

"I trust you too…” Richard takes a deep breath and lets go of Damian. He pulls the batmobile back onto the road. Damian almost thinks that the rest of the ride will be spent in companionable silence. But then Richard says one more thing. “I love you, Dames. More than anything in the world."

Damian trusts Richard. He believes him. He finds a smile spreading further on his lips. A warm feeling settles in his chest.

“I love you too, Richard.”

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Whumptober Day 18: To Fix What Is Broken

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 18, follow-up to Day 12. Set after Httyd 2, not canon-compliant with THW. Years after their mistake, the Gang may need to force Hiccup to break down the wall he's constructed since then. It may not end as terribly as it did last time.

Rating: Mature

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut

Pairing: None

Words: 5 187

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: "Panic Attack”

Whumpee: Hiccup

Author’s Notes: NOTE: The rape/non-con elements in this fic are purely implied and referenced. Nothing is explicitly shown.

Not sure how much I've succeeded at portraying a panic attack in this one. I’ve only done it once before and it’s in an unposted one-shot. So I have no idea how well I’ve written a panic attack.

Might also be too long. I tried to look at what needed cutting, but I had no idea what.

Also written as a follow-up to Whumptober Day 12, which I will be linking.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Ao3 to Whumptober Day 12

Ao3 To Whumptober Day 18

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, nothing got fixed. After his outburst in the Dragon Academy and doing "damage control" with his father, Hiccup somehow managed to convince him to let him go back to the Edge, and then it's like everything went back to normal.

Normal as in Hiccup pretending like nothing happened and continuing on as usual. Giving orders, prioritizing dragons and beating Dragon Hunters, sassing, the whole charade. He simply goes about his business, truly as if nothing happened that day, as if they hadn't hurt him and he hadn't hurt them.

A part of them is selfishly relieved and wants to go along with the pretend, but a slightly bigger part of them knows it isn't right, that Hiccup is simply ignoring the issue altogether in the hope that it will just go away.

So they've tried to bring it up with him. At dinner, during game night, during a patrol, any moment where he can sit down and have a talk. But he always shuts them down as soon as the subject is brought up, telling them not to make such a big deal out of something so stupid and small and to let it rest.

Sometimes they don't even get the chance to start talking before Hiccup would leave the room as soon as they sit down. There's just something about the way they sit down whenever they try to talk to him that tips him off to what they're planning on doing.

This whole thing has made him a hypocrite because he wouldn't just let this rest if the person suffering isn't him. Though to be fair, he would be a lot more sensitive about it than they have been.

The worst part is that their attempts at reaching him aren't only in vain, they make things worse between them and him, too. Though he and Toothless seem to be doing fine, the two of them go off together without the rest of the Dragon Riders a lot more than they used to even at the very beginning of the Dragon Academy.

Hiccup spends more time by himself, while game night often keeps going until the wee hours of the night, he only stays for an hour or two before retreating to his hut or forge to do whatever.

And then they get captured again. The Riders fight and fight to make their captivity end as soon as humanly possible, to save Hiccup from more hurt, but when they get home, Hiccup and Toothless disappeared for days.

So instead of suffering through this period of pain on the Edge, he was suffering through it somewhere else instead, with only Toothless there to see it.

It's so unhealthy. The way he avoids it altogether, pretends like nothing is wrong, like his head isn't full of what he's enduring. The way he runs from his second home, from his friends, to suffer completely on his own only to return and continue to act like nothing's happened and like he hasn't been gone.

So they let it rest, feeling like they have no other choice. After telling Stoick had been disastrous, after returning to the Edge, after attempt after attempt ends in failure, they decide to let it rest. Maybe them "letting it go" will, at the very least, urge Hiccup to stay home when he has these troubling episodes. That way, he's safe with them when he has them and not off to Odin knows where.

Unfortunately for Hiccup, life has a way of confronting someone with their traumas.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Years pass.

Drago Bludvist happens, Hiccup finds out his dead mother isn't actually dead, Stoick is killed, Hiccup becomes Chief of the Hooligan tribe at the young age of 20, and Eret joins the Dragon Riders. Once again his life is turned upsidedown, but besides a few references here and there, Viggo's criminal acts are never talked about.

Despite this, the Riders know that the former Dragon Hunter Chief is far from forgotten, even while dead.

Because Berk is a very handsy place and Berk doesn't know about Hiccup's ever-growing aversion to touch. They act around him as they always have, Hooligan friendly, and his friends have seen his discomfort that everyone else is either blind to or attributes to his awkwardness.

On that front, Eret is very observant, keeping it at friendly shoulder pats.

But it isn't just the "no touching", the Riders can see Viggo's influence on other aspects of Hiccup's life.

They can see when he's having a particularly bad episode by the bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep, by the weight he loses when eating becomes a problem, or when he suddenly and inexplicably needs to leave a room and won't be back for hours.

They've never disturbed him before, but they know he's at the cove with Toothless when he does this. So at least they know he's safe.

But Hiccup's wardrobe isn't lost on them either. Going from a simple tunic and somewhat plain armor to layers upon layers with armor on top and belts in more places than they need to be, one dagger strapped to an arm, and his Inferno strapped to his thigh,... the Riders aren't idiots.

Berk may think it's his taste for the dramatic, but they know that he's making up for a concerning lack of a sense of security. Viggo's death hasn't made him feel any safer and Stoick's has made that even less so.

It's all leather, too, all except for his tunic.

It always takes him minutes just to reach his main tunic and knowing Hiccup that is bound to bite him in the ass someday.

And it did.

Having allies means coming to their aid in their time of need and that can sometimes result in one of the Dragon Riders getting hurt. This time, it so happened to be Hiccup.

Aiding the Berserkers when an enemy tribe thought to raid them, the Dragon Riders came to help and in the ensuing battle, Hiccup got knocked off Toothless.

It is easier to down a disabled dragon than a fully-abled one, even with a rider, but throughout the years, their grace in the sky hasn't just grown, but their chances of being downed have lessened.

Unfortunately for Hiccup and Toothless, that means crashing just hurts more. As a dragon, Toothless is sturdy and can therefore shake a crash or two off, but as a mere human, Hiccup cannot.

Unable to just walk it off, he was taken to the healer to be looked at and treated. He'd been unconscious the whole way there, a blessing because that meant he didn't need to feel them move him and cause him more pain in the process, a curse because that meant he woke up in a stranger's home.

"He won't let me treat him," The healer had to tell the Riders and Heather, the Berserker Chieftess. Despite her many attempts at soothing him and telling him that he needs to be examined, he still won't let her.

The Riders, standing outside of her shack, all look at each other, knowing why Hiccup is refusing treatment and too afraid to say.

Heather places a hand on Astrid's shoulder, sharing her troubled mood. She, too, knows of Hiccup's fear, having lived on the Edge for a time and experienced his episodes for herself.

"Maybe it'll help if his friends are there? A familiar face can do wonders." She suggests, while Eret steps forward.

"This is so strange. The Chief has his reckless moments, but refusing treatment just seems... not like him." He says and he's right. This is beyond being reckless, this is endangering his own life.  And not just for some stunt, but for refusing treatment!

"We can go in and see what we can do, but you're going to have let Toothless in. Hiccup won't accept treatment without him in the room." Astrid tells the healer. It's not a plan that guarantees success, but it's better than forcing him to comply with something that triggers an old fear.

The healer sighs and nods. She's not particularly happy to have a Night Fury in her home and place of work, but she recognizes that she needs to allow it for her patient's sake.

Astrid turns to face Toothless, who was all but glued to the door of the shack, awaiting the moment he could join Hiccup's side again. Was because he's already entering after pawing the door open.

So she turns to Eret instead.

"Eret, I know you want to help, but I need to ask you to stay here." She tells him and Eret nods. It's not that she wants to exclude him, it's just that he probably doesn't know and Hiccup would probably like to keep it that way. Until he wants to talk about it himself, that is. They've learned their lesson about telling people something this personal, even if they think it's for his sake.

The rest of the Riders, they follow Toothless inside. What they find is Toothless and Hiccup having what can only be called a stand-off.

"Oh great, guys, can you tell Toothless to move? He's not letting me leave." Hiccup requests when he notices they aren't alone anymore, but quickly resumes his staring contest with the dragon, who is rumbling challengingly. In a "you just try to get past me" kind of way. His tail is swaying behind him.

"Leave? You need medical attention, you can't leave!" Astrid replies surprised.

"Which I can get plenty of back home. Berk isn't far by dragon." Hiccup passes Toothless and for all his bravado, he realizes that he can't actually stop him from leaving the healer's hut.

The Riders and Toothless watch him limp towards the door, holding his side. He still looks like just as much of a mess as when Eret brought him in, including the bloody pants that he has bandaged rather messily. As someone who knows at least a thing or two medically and knows of the importance of proper treatment, this only shows his urgency to get out of here.

Catching him trying to limp past them and out the door, Astrid comes to stand before him, effectively stopping him in his way. Blinking in surprise, Hiccup looks at her.

"Wow hey, you can't just leave. A few hours by dragon is still far when you have injured your ribs. Especially when you have healer and supplies right here." She tells him and Hiccup doesn't like what he's hearing. She's making sense to him as well, of course, but his high levels of discomfort are overruling his common sense.

"Astrid, I'm fine. I can breathe fine, albeit, with a little bit of pain, I can make the trip back to Berk."

"So you say and then, once we're over the ocean with no island for miles you discover that, oh no, you suddenly can't breathe out of one lung! You faint, you and Toothless crash, and you both drown." Astrid puts her foot down and crosses her arms, scolding him for his way of thinking. "A little bit of pain" does not equal "okay".

"But that's why I have you guys, to keep that from happening." He says.

"Oh yeah, because we can definitely fix a collapsed lung on the spot." Snotlout sides with Astrid and comes to stand next to her, obstructing Hiccup's way out further.

Hiccup sighs and a look of pain passes on his face, the too deep release of air hurting his side.

"Hiccup, why don't you want to be treated?" Astrid asks, having some idea, but not wanting to jump to conclusions.

"It's just... It doesn't feel good to have a stranger..." Touch me, he wants to say, but having put up a wall between the Riders and his "issues", he refuses to say it.

"To have a stranger what?" Astrid asks, suspicious of what he actually wants to say.

"I just trust Gothi's expertise more." A rude thing to say, especially for him. They're lucky the healer isn't here to hear him.

The Riders glare at him and Hiccup looks away, uncomfortable with how rude he's just been to a woman who simply wants to help him. The words had left him before he could stop them and he regrets them already.

"Okay, we'll stay." He finally decides, but keeps standing by the door because he doesn't actually feel like moving, more so because of how much it hurts to use his injured leg.

He doesn't know what he cut his thigh on, just that it bleeds enough to require stitches and be at risk for infection. Which makes his decision to leave seem even more foolish and unlike him.

But the Riders don't blame him because they know exactly what causes this out of character behavior.

Offering her hands, Hiccup lets her help him sit down on the bed behind him. He'd been lying on it before, when he woke up and the healer tried to examine him and he was being too difficult of a patient.

Hiccup wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, he's anxious and his friends notice. Astrid crouches down in front of him.

"We can stay if you want us to. Fishlegs knows how to heal, he can even do it while the healer watches and helps where needed. We already convinced her to let Toothless stay. If having a familiar face helps you get through this, we're here for you." She talks vaguely about him not needing to be touched by a stranger or being left alone with a stranger on an island full of strangers.

Hiccup mulls it over, thinking about her offer, but then shakes his head lightly.

"This is stupid, she's not even..." A man, like he was. But he doesn't say it, whispering more to himself than he is talking to Astrid. They don't need to know. As if they don't know already.

"You're really anxious, it's not stupid." It's Snotlout who says this as he's surprisingly sensitive about this forbidden topic.

Hiccup looks up at his friends, Toothless purring as he invites himself in their space and nudges his human's uninjured leg in support.

He's not ready for this. He can feel himself sweating, his heart is pounding so much in dread that it aches, his anxiety is already through the roof.

He doesn't want to do this, but Astrid is right, this could potentially be needlessly life-threatening and he would be dragging Toothless down with him.

He just has to stop being so stupid and let the woman do her job.

"Okay, call her back in." Hiccup requests and lies back down with some difficulty while Fishlegs leaves to get her.

It'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. It doesn't matter how many times he'll be repeating that in his mind, he'll have to do it as many times as it takes.

The old healer enters her hut again and she wants to get to work.

Hiccup watches her move around, his eyes following her as he attempts to control his breathing, as hard as it is with his ribs aching. Every breath in and out hurts him and that some part of him wants to draw shorter and shallower breaths with his rising nerves doesn't help.

She takes everything she may need. Cloth, bandages, water, herbs, anything to treat his injuries with.

It'll be fine, it'll be fine.

Everything in hand, Fishlegs helping her carry her stuff, she approaches and sets it all down.

"It'll be fine." Astrid looks at him when she hears him mutter.

But the second he feels hands trying to undo his belts, he panics. He takes her hands and pulls them away from him before rushing to sit up and hurting himself in the process. A cry of pain leaves him, everyone jumps to attention.

"Hiccup, wait, it's okay." Astrid tries to tell him, grabbing a shoulder.

"No! Nope! None of this is okay! I'm not okay!" He tells her before he winces and has no choice but to fall back down, holding his side and jostling his leg, which has bled through the bandages by now.

The Riders and Toothless gaze at him, the healer keeping her distance as she can tell this is a rather personal matter and so doesn't involve herself.

They listen to him groaning in pain, see the expression of agony as well as the sweat already glistening on his skin in the candlelight. His air intake is ragged. It is shallow and too fast, which only hurts him more.

"Hiccup," Astrid speaks his name, he shivers beneath her hand.

"No, I can't I... I just can't. I can't let this happen." This is wrong. This feels so wrong to him. The hands of someone that he doesn't know on his body where they don't belong.

In the past few years, the only ones who have been able to infiltrate his personal space in such a close manner have been his father and Toothless, maybe occasionally the Dragon Riders. Though, the Dragons more than the Riders.

And Berk, of course, but that was beyond his control. He doesn't like any of it and that is already hard to suffer through. Doing this is more than he can bear. He wants out.

He can already feel it creeping onto him. The hands.

"Hiccup, you need a healer." Astrid gently reminds him.

"I can put you under a sedative if that makes this procedure easier on you." The healer offers Berk's Chief some peace, at least for the next few hours.

"What? No! No sedatives!"

"Not even painkillers? It might help." Ruffnut suggests.

"No, no painkillers either. I want nothing." He's breathing so fast, he's becoming lightheaded. Meanwhile, his ribs burn.

"Then what do you want us to do?" Astrid asks, hoping Hiccup can tell them what he thinks will help him get through this most.

They've already gone behind his back once and it had made everything worse for him, had made things terrible between them.

But Hiccup shakes his head, not even knowing the answer to that question himself.

Gods, he can feel them. Disembodied hands where they don't belong, touching him where they were never meant to touch.

He wants to cry.

Astrid offers him her hand and he takes it too quickly and squeezes too hard. He's dying for comfort.

But he knows he needs to go through with it.

"Just go ahead with it. Just do it." He tells them uncertainly and the healer steps forward again, hands moving to his belts to undo them.

This time he lets her, but his hyperventilation worsens and so does his trembling. His eyes close as if it'll help if he can't see her hands on him. Feeling them on him is already bad enough.

He can feel other hands creeping upon him. They're bigger with more callouses and they aren't actually there, which is why they creep.

They belong to a man that isn't even alive anymore and yet, with every unwanted touch forced upon him, he can feel him again.

"Shhh, it's okay. You'll get through this. Just breathe, Hiccup, breathe." Astrid tells him and he tries to keep a hold of himself to the best of his ability.

His vest is splayed upon and more wounds are made bare. Besides the aching of his ribs, there's a splotch of blood on the right side of his lower abdomen, close to the hem of his trousers.

"He's bleeding through his tunic." Snotlout mutters, bringing attention to it. The healer takes the hem of his tunic in order to take a look.

Hiccup can feel it, is too aware of her every move. Still squeezing Astrid's hand, he squeezes even tighter and she lets him. Tears wet his eyes and when she cautiously pulls it up, they slip free and he seizes her hands again, unable to bear any more of this.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay." Astrid holds all of their hands as she hushes him.

Toothless intervenes and headbutts his human's face, a gesture of affection that Hiccup returns.

"Yeah, it's okay, we're all here with you." Snotlout tells him, stepping forward, but not daring to go as far as Astrid is going. One of them is probably enough.

"Breathe, Hiccup. Breathe."

"I can't. I-I can't."

Fishlegs comes closer.

"Then maybe I can help! Try to follow along with me, okay?" Hiccup leaves Toothless to face him, who exaggerates his breathing in a slow and timely manner so he can keep up.

It's hard, but Hiccup tries his best to follow along until his breathing comes to a more natural pace and his lightheadedness doesn't turn to darkness.

Astrid manages to make Hiccup let go of the healer and hold onto her instead.

They don't like any of this, the panic attack, the sweat sticking his clothing to his skin, or the tears now sliding down his face. His lip is trembling, his everything is trembling.

This is what he hid from them after their damning talk with Stoick for so long, this is what Viggo has done to him. Their fearless leader rendered to this. The fact that they still don't know the details haunts them to this day.

He can still face any enemy, can stare down death itself if he has to, but he can't stand being touched, not even if it's for his own well-being.

"This is so stupid." They hear him mutter, something they've heard him repeat over and over again with whatever involves his issues. They don't know what he thinks is so stupid, but they've heard him say this so many times by now.

Astrid dares to take a seat on the bed next to him and lets go of his hand to cup his cheeks. He stares up at her with a wild look of panic. If he wants her to let go, she trusts that he'll let her know.

"Hiccup, please listen," She starts and hopes that's what he'll do.

"We're all here to protect you. I know we've failed you before, but no more. You're safe with us. Tonight, tomorrow, every day for the rest of your life, you're safe." She tells him and his hands take hers, but he doesn't pull them away. Her touch is light, so it wouldn't be hard to remove them, he wants them there.

"We love you. Please let us protect you." She requests with genuine emotion.

He nods.

"Okay," He says quietly, barely above a whisper as most of his voice is stuck in his throat. It's a miracle he even got that much out.

Toothless rumbles encouragingly and invites himself partially into the bed, pretty much wrapping his forelegs around his Rider, but staying mindful of his injuries.

Hiccup lets go of Astrid's hands, gaining some control over himself.

Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut take them, watching for any reaction that might tell them this is the wrong move to make. So far, there isn't any.

This might be it, the opening they've been waiting for. For years Hiccup has been completely closed off on this topic, he's locked his fears up tight and thrown away the key. But now, perhaps the door stands open on a creak and they're allowed a peek inside with a promise for more.

Whether this is what it is or not doesn't matter at the moment. What does matter, is helping him through tonight.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Back on Berk, Astrid asks Hiccup this question as they enter his home a few days later.

Looking up from his blueprints, he watches them enter with a tired smile.

He's sitting on a chair, wearing a comfortable tunic to spare his bruised ribs the weight that comes with many layers. The stitched gash on his lower abdomen benefits from this, too. He doesn't like it, but Toothless is with him always and so is Sharpshot, who lies curled up on the table. His injured leg rests on another chair, the wound having been stitched closed and showing no signs of infection so far.

"Eh, tired. Maybe in need of some more painkillers. It's been a few hours and my everything hurts again." He answers as they walk further into the home, greeted by Toothless who croons their way happily. He's lying curled up around Hiccup's spot, helping him feel secure as he can't wear his "shield".

Ever since that night, something has changed in their group again. Talking with him, being around him, it's easier. It's as if there's been this tension for so long that nobody even noticed after a time, and now that it's finally gone and they can all feel that lack of weight.

"I'll go make some!" Fishlegs offers himself up and disappears into the kitchen.

"How is everything with the village outside?" Hiccup asks, hoping that his work isn't stacking up as he spends his time inside recovering. He is weirdly okay with staying indoors. So far, at least.

"We're managing things, the twins are actually fixing stuff more than they break it," Astrid informs him.

"Hey, we can be very good repair people." Ruffnut protests.

"Besides, just means there's more for us to break later," Tuffnut mutters to her, and the two snicker. Astrid and Snotlout both roll their eyes.

"We'll make sure they don't break stuff later." The latter promises with a deadpan. Hiccup smiles at him gratefully.

"Here it is!" Fishlegs returns with a painkilling, and possibly sleep-inducing, broth and hands it to Hiccup.

"Thanks," He says, taking it and then staring at it as he holds it in his hands. He's not exactly looking forward to it, these broths never taste that pleasant. This one doesn't even smell good.

He should take it, get rid of the pain, and maybe get some shut-eye. These blueprints can wait.

But first, there's been something that he's been contemplating as he waited for his friends' inevitable visit for the day. They always come by.

"Hey, um..." He starts, gaze still on the cup with the broth.

The Riders look at him, wait for him to talk, and say what's on his mind as there is clearly something.

They aren't quite prepared for the topic he's about to bring up, but the day they've been waiting for has finally arrived.

After some hesitation, Hiccup forces himself to say it.

"He never went all the way."

Surprised to hear him talk about it, the Gang listens.

"Vi-Viggo, he... He never..." Hiccup stops talking then and they don't interrupt or try to finish his sentence for him. They can tell it's taking him everything just to talk now, he's not even looking at them, hand coming up to hide most of his face from view.

Toothless purrs, sitting up to meet Hiccup at eye-level, but he's not looking at him either.

"It really did just stay with words and... and touches... Every time I got captured and taken to him, but... That's it, nothing else." It's not like they don't know that something's been done to him, but to actually hear him say it, to hear their suspicions be confirmed is something else entirely.

The twins share a saddened look, Fishlegs looks down at his hands, and Astrid and Snotlout both feel themselves tense up. It's been a good few years and still, it makes them so angry that any of it happened.

Back to the conversation, Snotlout wanted to remind him that that wasn't nothing, but Astrid stops him. Hiccup is finally talking, they should let him have his say before they comment.

Still unable to bear to look at his friends, Hiccup wipes his sweaty palms on his trousers.

"It-it-it... "It" never actually happened so-so it-so it just seemed so stupid to feel the way I did. The-the way I do. Like-like I was hurt when I wasn't." That was part of the problem, it wasn't as bad as it could've been and that made worrying about it seem so dumb to him.

He's lucky. That's what he's been telling himself. He's lucky.

"So stupid," He repeats, feeling like an attention seeker for something that was "not as bad as it could've been". So many people have suffered worse than him, he shouldn't complain.

He rocks nervously, trying to cope with the influx of memories that have festered over the years, with the shame welling up. Thus far they've only been dealt with by cramming them into the darkest corners of his mind, a fruitless effort that usually ends in frustration and anger. There they have continued to rot and chipped away at him piece by piece like an untreated infection.

Bringing it up now still hurts just as much as it would've hurt to bring up back then.

As a brief silence sets in, Astrid dares to take a step and sits down at the table on a seat next to him.

"I think you and I both know that he doesn't need to go "all the way" for this to hurt, Hiccup. What happened was so, so traumatizing, doesn't matter how far he did or didn't go. And it happened... It happened multiple times." Astrid has to swallow, feeling like she might throw up if she doesn't.

"If we were in each other's shoes, you would be telling me the exact same thing." She tells him and Hiccup finds that she has a point.

If this had happened to Astrid, to any of his friends, he wouldn't stand for them to call their reaction to being... to being... He wouldn't call them stupid, he wouldn't call them calls for attention.

"He hurt you and you have every right to be angry, even now." She continues.

"We all hurt you." Snotlout admits, coming to sit at the table as well. The others, they swiftly follow their example.

To hear them tell him that he has every right to be angry, to be hurt, is more relieving than he can ever express.

But there's a question Snotlout has been wondering about this whole time and he wonders if Hiccup will answer.

"How... I understand if you don't want to answer, but how far did he get?" If he's not ready to tell them yet, if he'll never be ready, then he'll understand.

Hiccup doesn't answer and while he's told them he never went "all the way", "not all the way" still seems to be pretty far.

He wants to cry again. The memories running rampant inside his mind, the non-existing hands that refuse to leave him, they make tears gather in his eyes.

He's in pain and has been for much too long. He feels like he's been on fire this entire time and that someone is finally putting out the fire.

It's with a mere cup, but it's a start.

Managing to look at his friends, Hiccup cautiously gazes at them all, fearing judgment as he finally bares it all.

Astrid reaches and takes his hand, squeezing it lightly. Perhaps, it's time to talk and let his family in.

[quickspinner]

Finding Harmony - Ch 1 The Key of M

This story is complete on AO3

Season 3 was still coming out when I wrote this one, but it’s still probably my favorite of my works so far, so I hope you enjoy it. This is part of my ongoing effort to get my AO3 works posted to tumblr; you can filter the tag ‘backlog’ if you’d rather not see them.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Summary: Before any note can harmonize with another, it has to be on pitch. When Luka agrees to work with Marinette on a design project, he's happy to see that she's started making some changes for her own happiness. “It’s like you’re tuning your strings right now. You started out a little flat, and then you tuned too sharp. So now you're working back towards your true pitch." As she gets closer to striking her true note, he can't help but think how beautiful they sound together. He wishes she could hear it too.

“Marinette wants your body.”

Luka nearly swallowed the guitar pick he had clamped between his lips. He made a muffled sound and dropped the sheet music he’d been trying to arrange so he could whip the pick out of his mouth to demand, “What did you say?” He moved his guitar off his lap and turned to hang his legs off the edge of the bed so he could face his sister as she crossed from the door towards her end of the cabin.

“Finally,” Juleka smirked. “I’ve called your name three times. Marinette’s been trying to call you for like an hour.” 

“What?” Luka frowned and shuffled around on his bed, finally finding his phone half-buried under his pillow. Sure enough, he had a bunch of missed notifications. “Oops,” he muttered.

“I just got back from her place,” Juleka told him, sitting sideways in her vanity chair to face him. “She’s got an idea that she’s all fired up on and she’s wondering if you’d be willing to model with me for it.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, Jul,” he said almost automatically.

Juleka smirked. “I know you’d do anything for Marinette.”

Luka smiled ruefully. “Yeah, that too.”

“Sap.” 

“Like you can talk. I’m gonna go call her back now.” He stood up and walked out to the deck.

Marinette picked up on the first ring with a delighted “Luka!” that made his heart skip a bit. 

“Hey, Marinette, sorry I missed your messages, I was kinda in the zone and I wasn’t paying attention to my phone. Juleka just told me you were trying to reach me.”

“No problem, I understand, I’ve been there! I’m sorry I interrupted, though, I guess this could have waited, it’s just I was excited and you know I’m a planner and—”

“Breathe, Marinette, it’s fine.” He smiled, leaning on the rail of the boat. “What do you need?”

“Well, you know I felt really bad about that whole Reflekdoll thing a while back—”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“I know, but—“ Marinette sighed. “Well, never mind about that. I still feel bad for Juleka and now that I know she wants to model I started thinking about what would look good on her, because you know the suit before was cute all but it didn’t really scream Juleka, and so I started messing around with some designs, more of my edgy stuff, you know, the kind of thing I do for Jagged Stone and Kitty Section, and the more I thought about it the more excited I got and I think I have some really cool concepts—”

“Breathe, Marinette,” he repeated, grinning. 

“Right. Sorry. Anyway um I guess designing for Juleka kind of got me thinking about you, and I have some things in mind that I think would look really good on you and I was wondering if you would mind taking some pictures with Juleka when the pieces are done? What do you think?”

“I think all you had to say was ‘Hey Luka, will you model my designs with Juleka,’ and I’d have been sold,” Luka chuckled. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good but you know I’d do anything to help my two favorite girls. Just tell me when and where and what you need me to do.”

The delighted squeal that answered him left him grinning for an hour.

***

“Mom Luka’s here we’ll be in my room see you later!”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Cheng,” Luka said with a chuckle, as he followed Marinette through the bakery at a slightly more civilized pace.

“Good to see you, Luka. There’s a plate of snacks in the fridge if you two get hungry.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

It was a good thing he’d been to Marinette’s place with the rest of the band, because she was so far ahead of him he might as well have been by himself. When he climbed up through the hatch into her bedroom (her room was really pretty cool for not being a boat), Marinette nearly barreled right into him. “Whoa!” he cried, catching her around the waist just in time to keep her from falling over. “Relax, Marinette, I’m not going to turn into a pumpkin. You can slow down a little.” He waited until she was sure she had her balance back, and then let her go.

“Sorry,” Marinette said, bouncing slightly on her toes and then grabbing his hand to drag him to her chaise. “I’m just so excited to show you. I hope you’ll like it.”

Luka took a seat on her chaise as she directed and smiled as he watched her rush around. “It’s great to see you so inspired. Maybe I’m off base, but it just feels like you’ve been missing a little bit of your spark lately.”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed, and it was like all the frenetic energy drained out of her at once. She came and sat next to him on the chaise, looking almost...mournful. “A lot of things have been happening, and I’m starting to realize that I’ve been...prioritizing the wrong things. Sometimes the wrong people.” She glanced at him and then away, twisting her fingers. “I didn’t like the person I was becoming. Which is complicated, because I didn’t like the person I was before, either. Before I met Alya and A-Adrien and got to be better friends with Nino and Kitty Section.” She flashed him a crooked smile. “You wouldn’t have liked me then either. I was a pushover and a victim and a...a bystander.” Luka moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder in silent encouragement. “Some things happened at the beginning of the school year that really pushed me out of that comfort zone, and I started really trying to be a friend, someone my friends can rely on, and for a while it was great. I still messed up a lot but I started standing up for myself and other people, and I wasn’t such a spectator. But...” Marinette chewed her lip. “I don’t know, I feel like somewhere in the last few months I got confused.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “I need to find a way back to the person I wanted to be. Except I don’t even know who that is, because if I don’t like who I was before and I don’t like who I became, then where am I trying to go?” She moaned faintly and put her face in her hands. “And all you did was compliment me and now I’m just spewing this out all over you and you didn’t ask for any of this, I’m so sorry. I’m probably not even making sense.”

“Marinette, you’re making perfect sense,” Luka said, squeezing her shoulder, and reaching down for the guitar case. “It sounds like you’ve been bottling that up for a while.” She nodded, face still in her hands. “It’s like...you’re tuning your strings right now,” he continued. He set his guitar on his lap, set his fingers and plucked a string. “That’s G, right? You started out a little flat.” He moved his fingers and played a G flat. “So you started tuning towards your true pitch.” He played G again. “But you overshot and you went sharp.” He played the G sharp. “So now you’re working back towards G again.” He plucked the G one more time and grinned. “Or maybe it’s M in your case.”

”There isn’t any M, Luka,” Marinette giggled. 

“I think there is,” Luka smiled, fingers fluttering in a familiar pattern as he played up and down a G major scale. “I think you’ll find it.” He looked up and met her eyes. “And when you do, it’ll be beautiful.” 

Marinette held his gaze for a moment, then blushed and looked at her hands. “Thanks Luka. I know—well, you’re one of the people I haven’t treated so well, so...thanks for understanding.”

“I could tell it wasn’t the true note, the real you. We all make mistakes, Marinette. You’ve always been honest and sincere with me, and I value that more than anything.”

Marinette smiled weakly. “I feel like that should be part of the Couffaine family motto. Liberté, sincerité, originalité.”

Luka laughed out loud. “I like it.” 

Marinette, smiled, and the light came back into her eyes as she jumped up. “Enough navel gazing. How do you feel about snakes?”

Luka’s eyes widened slightly and he felt a flicker of panic. “Uh—”

“Because I have the greatest plan for you,” Marinette said, rushing over to her desk. “Check this out.” She pulled up a board that had been laying flat on her desk and held it vertical so he could see it. Front and center was a large picture of a blue and black striped snake with a red head and tail. It was bold and striking and it looked nothing like Viperion. Luka relaxed a little. He should have known better.

“Snakes are cool,” he grinned. “I like the colors.” 

Marinette squealed and bounced a little. “I know, they’re perfect for you! I mean blue was the easy choice but I was afraid that would be predictable and boring but then I found this picture and—Can you help me hold this? Thanks. So the snake—it’s called a Malasian coral snake by the way—is the inspiration for collection, see? I’m working out an embroidery design, and I’m also incorporating the colors, although not as much on Juleka’s, I want to use mostly black for her with maybe a bright pop of color, maybe the red, see? And if she’s posing with you, maybe she won’t be so nervous. It’ll be a good way to help her get a little more experience so she’ll be more comfortable next time, and if the photos turn out well she’ll have a start to her portfolio.”

“Sounds great. You’re so thoughtful, Marinette. I know Juleka will appreciate it,” he told her admiringly.

“I really haven’t been lately,” Marinette sighed, as he helped her lay the board back down flat. “But I’m trying to be better.”

Luka touched her shoulder. “If you really want to change yourself, I know you can, Marinette. If it’s worth anything, I think you’re pretty great the way you are.”

He jolted when Marinette turned to him and threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, but he put one arm around her and hugged her back. “Thanks Luka,” she whispered. “You’re the best.”

He patted her back gently, resisting the urge to really hold her. “So, what do I need to do?”

“Measurements!” Marinette snapped back on task. “I need to take some measurements. Especially for the shirts and jacket, I’ve got to make sure there’s room for all—” she gestured vaguely at his shoulders. “That.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “All what?”

She rolled her eyes at him and turned to her desk to dig out a measuring tape. “Take off your jacket, Luka.”

He did as she asked, laying the guitar back in the open case and dropping his denim jacket and hoodie on the end of the chaise. Marinette pursed her lips as she turned back to him, then took his wrist and held up his arm so that his bicep was flexed. “Yep. That’s what I meant.” Luka felt a sudden flush as she ran her hand up his arm and onto his shoulders. “You’ve got a lot more muscle than the guys in my class—except Kim but he’s a special case—and your shoulders are broader.”

“Um...thanks?” Luka cleared his throat.

Marinette jumped back. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just thinking out loud.”

“It’s fine,” he said, though he knew he was blushing, and he couldn’t quite keep from smirking just a little bit. “Go ahead.”

Luka stood patiently while she measured what felt like every inch of him. 

“Sorry,” she said, writing numbers down. “I just don’t want to have to make you come back, so I’m trying to get everything I think I possibly could need. Once I’ve gotten a little further in the designs, I can bring fabric samples over to the Liberty for you guys to look at.”

“I appreciate that, Marinette, but these are your designs, you don’t need our approval.” 

“I know, but I want you guys to be comfortable with the clothes, especially Juleka now that I know she’s so nervous. And the best part of designing is seeing how excited people are to wear the finished product. I really want you guys to be thrilled.”

Luka smiled at her enthusiasm. “I have confidence in you, Marinette.”

She flashed him a soft smile that made his heart flutter. “You always have, Luka. I appreciate it.” She straightened up and put her pencil down. “I think that’s everything I need.” Marinette bit her lip, and looked a bit...shy? That was new. “Um...do you have to go right away? We could hang out for a bit if you’re free...do you play video games?”

“Not really,” he admitted, with a shrug, and then added quickly as her face fell, “I’m always up for trying something new though.”

The way she lit up at that was not good for his heart. “Well, I’ll go easy on you since you’re a beginner.”

Luka chuckled. “Teach me your ways, master.”

Even ‘going easy,’ she destroyed him. His quick fingers and excellent hand-eye coordination were his only chance for redemption. At the same time, he’d never enjoyed losing more. Competitive Marinette was a side she’d never shown him before and Luka was hard pressed to pay attention to the game, distracted as he was by her wide smile and sparkling eyes. After she’d pounded him a few times, she had mercy on him and switched modes so that they battled together against online opponents. He was still pretty useless but she didn’t seem to need him to win anyway, and playing cooperatively gave her more opportunity to coach him. By the time he had to leave, he could at least survive through the fight while Marinette took their opponents apart. That was good enough for him; the game was okay but he mostly just enjoyed watching her have fun. This was clearly one of her passions and he loved watching her be so gung-ho over it.

“You’re amazing,” he sighed finally, putting down the controller. “I think I’d have to practice a long time to get good enough to even come close to beating you.” 

“Oh, I didn’t—you did really well for your first time!” She hastened to reassure him. He laughed at her round eyes and panicked expression.

“Relax, Marinette, I don’t mind. Even losing to you is fun. You’re cute when you win.” He winked at her and she blushed, but recovered quickly.

“You’re right, I am amazing,” Marinette said airily, and then giggled. “At least at video games. My classmate Max and I played in the interschool tournament and we tore the competition apart.” She looked down at the controller and sighed, putting it down on the coffee table. “I actually haven’t taken much time to play lately, I’ve been so busy. Another reason to make some changes.”

Luka put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. “I don’t know what happened and I wish you weren’t so sad about whatever it was, but it sounds like you’ve got a good handle on what you need to do, so I know you’ll be fine. Thanks for teaching me, Marinette. I had fun.” 

“Me too,” she smiled at him. “Thanks, Luka, your support means a lot to me. And,” she blushed a little, “Thanks for hanging out with me.”

“I love spending time with you,” Luka said, letting go of her shoulder and getting to his feet. “I do need to get home now though. I’ll go grab my stuff.” He went up the stairs to her room, giving her time to recover from her spluttering. Luka sensed that she felt lonely and unappreciated lately, and he didn’t want to pass up a chance to let her know how much he appreciated her, or how happy he was to spend time with her.

Luka put his jackets back on, zipped up the open guitar case, and lifted the strap over his head. He stopped by the desk, looking down at the snake image, and smiled to himself before going back down the stairs.

Marinette walked him out through the bakery, where her mother pressed a small box of sweets into his hands. “Be safe getting home, Luka,” Marinette told him at the door.

“See you soon, Marinette.” He smiled at her, squeezing her shoulder once more before walking away.

As he walked he thought about what Marinette had said to him. Luka was glad she was taking some time and space to take care of herself, but he couldn’t help wondering what brought on the change. Marinette seemed so down about it...He hoped she felt better about it soon, because the changes she was making seemed good for her. So far, he certainly liked what he was seeing. It was great to see her investing in her art. Just spending time with Marinette was enough for him, but getting to be involved in something she loved so much made it that much better.

Luka sighed, adjusting the guitar case and smiling at himself. He’d long ago accepted that he was hopelessly deep in a hopeless love when it came to Marinette. He knew Juleka thought he was an idiot, but he really just didn’t mind it. 

Loving her made him happy.

[sonicfanj]

A little while back I made a comment in regard to Sonic’s character not being understood and pointed out that he has the potential to be a “selfish hero”. Not surprisingly I was asked about what I meant so I’m going to tray and explain.

Before beginning though, I should note that I view Sonic as an adventurer first, and not a hero like most of his fans do. This creates completely different expectations out of his character and results in me seeing things very differently from others. For example, I disagree with the notion that Sonic lives to stop Eggman. To me, it’s simply something that happens and we see so much of it because those are the stories of his adventures that we are shown most commonly (I think Eggman has only missed one game that Sonic has been in so that kind of says something).

So, for my explanation I am going to try to stick to as few examples as possible, but I get a little long winded so apologies in advance.

To begin, let’s look at Sonic’s motivation to be a hero. Well, simply put he has none. That may seem a little short-sighted, especially in light of Sonic’s heroics, but the thing is, Sonic does not present himself as wanting to be a hero. If you ask Yuji Naka, Sonic’s favorite thing to do is run, and his running is spoiled if he doesn’t get a full eight hours of sleep. If you consider this Sonic’s constant lazing around makes sense as he’s trying to put himself in a mood to enjoy what he loves best. But for as hard as it seems for Sonic to get a good night’s sleep, which supposedly also makes him irritable, he still loves to adventure. When describing Amy’s character Hoshino has stated that Sonic’s mind is always on the next adventure or challenge. This is important as it tells us that Sonic is not thinking about who to help next. He is thinking about himself. In other words, he is being selfish, or he adventures to enjoy himself and his running, not to help people like most of his fans believe.

Naturally this raises the question of why does Sonic help people. That is a very easy question to answer, but it also reflects a bit on Sonic’s nature and his selfishness some more. Out of the gate, we are told that Sonic has a strong sense of judgement and a big heart. And we know how compassionate Sonic is. In case anyone has forgotten, though he bashed the poor guy in the brain a few times over, Sonic calmed a raging God of Destruction and desired to console it so it could live in peace. It takes a big heart to do that and Sonic has it. But he is also said to have a short temper (though it is rarely demonstrated) and that he can’t stand injustice and dislikes tears. At this point I would hope that a clearer picture of Sonic’s selfishness as a hero is starting to become clear, but as I’m explaining my viewpoint I’ll continue.

Making what will feel like a sudden jump, Sonic helps people on his adventures because seeing or knowing that people are in trouble ruins his adventure for him. The moment he knows people are in trouble he can’t enjoy himself no matter how much sleep he got. His big heart and distaste for injustice spur him into action. He’s acting on his own emotions to bring himself back peace of mind. This is a horribly selfish thing to do, but we see him do it quite a fair bit, sometimes even putting himself before those he is aiming to help. Obviously, I need some examples to back these claims up, so I’ll go ahead and get started with Sonic CD.

Now, a lot of people do not know this, but Sonic did not go to Little Planet to save it. It kind of happens as it stands due again to Sonic’s short temper and reaction to things he dislikes and can’t stand. The whole reason he actually goes if I remember correctly is that he already knew the legends of it and wanted to both see it and see if he could actually time travel using his speed. When he arrived Eggman being there was a total shock to him, and seeing what the good doctor had wrought spurred him into action. In other words, he was there for himself, and saves Little Planet only because his moral compass and own feelings happen to align with what appears to be heroic. But roughly, Eggman ruined his plans and Sonic responded in kind. It’s almost petty his actions at Little Planet if not for how it is painted due to Eggman being the rather destructive villain. But CD is far from the only example.

In Sonic Adventure he gets involved because he is involved by Tails and Eggman. Stopping Chaos 0 is a matter of his evening run being ruined by the clash between Chaos and the Cops. He can’t leave the cops to be slaughtered and jumps in restoring his peace of mind. A selfish action. It isn’t much better with Tails either. With his peace of mind restored we next join Sonic chilling at the pool until Tails appears and ruins his nap. Though not Tails’ intentions, Sonic’s shrug tells us a great deal about how he feels about the situation before going off to make sure the fox is alright. If Tails came first he would not have delayed or even shrugged. He simply would have taken action. He also is later on disparaging of Knuckles, dismissive of Amy when she is trying to ask for help until he actually sees the danger, and gets wrapped up in the thrill of chasing Eggman rather than making sure Tails and Amy get away alright. Most of the game he puts himself first and displays irritation when he is needed to be heroic. It doesn’t really paint him as a hero. He isn’t much better in Sonic Adventure 2 either where he really drives home his preference for doing things his way. Then in Sonic Heroes he only gets involved because it seems like fun. Despite the danger, Sonic puts himself first. It isn’t until Shadow where Sonic is really painted as heroic straight up, but that game takes place through Shadow POV, and in relation to himself Shadow does see Sonic as rather heroic.

In 06 though Sonic goes right back to his selfishness. Yet another seemingly lost detail, even though it is repeated at the end of the game, Sonic goes to Soleanna to see the Sun Festival. It is literally his only reason for being there. If not for Eggman arriving he would have never interacted with Elise and would have been gone the next day. Yet Eggman attacks and Sonic gets involved. And seeing the mess that Elise is Sonic can’t have any peace of mind until she has some and shares a lot of his philosophies with her until she finally stops being mopey and has the strength and resolve to do what she needs to. Then, sure enough, even with the subtle hints that Sonic remembers what happened, he heads right on out once he knows everything is fine, including Elise. He made himself a big part of her life and then leaves because that is who he is and he can enjoy his running again knowing that everything is resolved.

When we get to Unleashed, we see a slightly different side to Sonic’s selfishness as he puts himself before his charge of the game; Chip. When Sonic meets Chip he blames himself for the latter’s memory loss and offers to help him restore it. Yet when he can’t resolve it and is informed of the larger mess at hand by Tails he heads right off to solve the problem. Now yes, he brings Chip along, but he has no basis on which to base Chip regaining his memories in his company. Yet he gladly exposes him to danger while thrill riding on his own adventure, where Chips memory coming back becomes insignificant to him. Chip simply becomes a friend on the adventure and Sonic mostly enjoys himself. Again he is being selfish.

Like 06 before it, Black Knight is a game where Sonic is heavily doing things his own way and for his own enjoyment. Most of that breaks later on when facing Merlina, a friend he has to save as much as her world, and of course the Knight Trials. The Knight Trials are one of the more interesting examples of Sonic’s selfish heroism as he has been tasked with saving the world but will not refuse the child in need. Worse, the Lady of Lake knew Sonic’s abilities when she put the time limit on him and the trials which would assure that Sonic would fail should he deviate at all. But Sonic has a big heart, and he hates tears, and here is this child crying due to the dragon. There is no way Sonic can have the peace of mind to focus on his quest to save the world while this child suffers and chooses the child over the world. Kind of funny that Amy gets chewed out by the fandom for this but Sonic clears his Knight Trials with flying colors for the same thing. But I digress. While it worked out for Sonic here, it could have been disastrous, but in his selfishness, he prioritized his feelings and went against what was requested of him. I may sound heartless here, but when faced with the choice of saving the few or the many most “heroes” seek a way to accomplish both, but Sonic chooses to satisfy his feelings instead. It is a selfish action on his part regardless of the outcome.

Beyond the games though you can also find Sonic being selfish in the OVA where talking him into going to Eggmanland is to stop Tails from worrying. He has no desire to go and outright refuses. It is only when someone he cares about is expressing genuine concern that Sonic is prompted to act. Even then he is visibly irritated by the whole affair the entire time. He had to go against what he desired to do, and it frankly agitates him, which implies a very selfish nature. When he does agree, it is to address something which does bother him, which is anything but heroic.

So, I’ll admit that some of my readings may seem excessively extrapolative, but as I addressed at the beginning of this explanation, I look at Sonic in a different light than most and this paints my view of his character. That Sonic’s selfishness is never really called into question tells me that most people at SEGA also don’t understand it, or as Sonic is supposed to represent everything cool about SEGA it highlighting a negative trait would be seen as unfavorable to say the least. Regardless, Sonic’s selfishness slips in and paints the character in a very unique light, but if you don’t fall for the trap of him being a hero but rather an adventurer who lives for himself first, than it starts to not be a surprise. Or at least, that’s my view on it.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

MerMay Day Twenty-Nine Preparation

Gathering all of them together was a day-long chore. By the time they met up outside of the human Institute, the sun was setting, turning the ocean a fiery orange. Though they weren’t on the surface to see it. Instead, they were all underwater, clustering around the rocks in the sea. There were a few humans out on the shore, but Schneep assured them that all the humans were part of the trustworthy group. Once they were all together, Jackie did his best to explain what had happened. Chase would’ve done it himself, but every time he tried to, he just broke down and started to cry again.

“...and so Chase knows where Anti is,” Jackie concluded. “And he’s probably keeping the pups and Jameson somewhere nearby. So with that, we could stage a rescue.”

Marvin and Schneep were quiet for a moment, absorbing this story. They glanced at each other. “Well...it would have to be more than a rescue,” Schneep said tentatively.

“What d’you mean?” Jackie asked.

Schneep folded his arms, tentacles spreading out along the ocean floor. “Hmm...well, you see, we know where Anti is now,” he said, “but once we get Jameson and the hatchlings back, he will move. After all, he moved away from the trench after he put Jack to sleep, knowing that we would look for him there. So if we are going to put a stop to his bullshit altogether, we need to stop Anti when we get them back.”

Jackie blinked. “I...hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Okay but consider this: we don’t do that,” Marvin said. “If we try to stop Anti at the same time as doing this, everything could go wrong. So we should just focus on rescuing Jamie and the fries.”

“He is just going to come back and try again if we let him get away now,” Schneep insisted. “We must act!”

“But not if it puts the others in trouble!” Marvin protested.

“Okay, we’re gonna be very careful!” Jackie interrupted. “None of us want the pups or Jameson to be hurt.” He glanced over at Chase, who’d gone very pale at the mention of the kids being harmed. “We’ll prioritize their safety, but Schneep has a point. Anti will just keep coming back if we don’t stop him. At the very least we should take the siren stone away from him. Speaking of which...Marvin, is there any way to, like, counteract that thing?”

Marvin’s tail swished back and forth as he thought about that. “I don’t know of any magic way to,” he admitted. “I know they exist, but I never looked into them ‘cause I never thought we’d have to deal with siren song.” He laughed morbidly. “Y’know I’m reconsidering that train of thought. But anyway, we can significantly reduce risk by plugging up our ears. And then...trying not to look at the lights it emits.”

Jackie nodded. “Alright. We can make ear plugs.”

“Wait.” Chase spoke up for the first time. “If...if we take the siren stone away, how do we...how do we wake Jack up? If Anti put him to sleep, what if he’s the only one who can wake him up?”

Schneep gasped softly. “Oh. Oh! No, you are right. Jack may be stable here, but he shows no way of waking up.”

“Oh…” Marvin drooped. “I hadn’t thought of that.” He paused. “Well...if any of us have siren blood, we could use the stone and try to wake him up?”

“Is there a way to test for that?” Schneep asked.

“Not that I know of...we’d basically just have to grab the stone and try to use it and see if it works.”

“Well, either way, we are not letting Anti keep the stone,” Jackie said firmly. “That’s only gonna cause more trouble. You said Jack was stable, and these humans seem trustworthy, so there’s no—I was about to say ‘there’s no rush’ but I don’t know if that’s the right way of putting it.”

“No, you’re right, what’s Jack gonna do, swim away?” Marvin shrugged.

“No, I mean...” Jackie waved vaguely. “Nevermind. Words, whatever. You get it. Anyway, we have to make a plan. The most important thing is getting the children and Jameson back, and then taking care of Anti, maybe getting the stone.”

“That sounds good,” Schneep said, nodding. “I hope we get the stone and figure out how to use it quickly. There is still risk when staying here. Other humans can wander in at any minute.”

“Hey Schneep,” Chase said quietly. “You know you don’t have to stay here.”

“Yes, I do,” Schneep said. He was trying to sound firm, but his voice shook a bit. “I need to keep Jack safe.”

Chase was quiet for a moment. “Alright, if you insist.” He looked over at the others. “I think we’ll need stuff. Like, it would help to have weapons, I think. And lights. Lights are important, it’s pitch black down there.”

“I can take care of the light,” Marvin piped up.

“Great.” Jackie nodded. “So we should get started. Do you think there’s a way we could take him by surprise? ‘Cause that would give us an edge…”

A few hours later, well into the night, Marvin was heading home on his own. They’d agreed to make their move tomorrow, after they’d all had a good rest. But Marvin had the feeling he wouldn’t be getting a lot of rest that night. He could already feel the bundle of nerves.

He made it to the delta where the river emptied out into the ocean. Even though this was one of the deeper deltas in the world, it was still very shallow. Marvin had found that he couldn’t be in an upright position here; he had to always be somewhat horizontal in order to be fully submerged. The water here was well-lit, due to a combination of the depth and the full moon out that night. Luckily, there were no humans in sight.

Marvin was concentrating on swimming against the slight current when he looked up and noticed that...someone else was in the delta. He paused, squinting through the water. Yes, that someone was ahead of him...and he recognized that silhouette. Marvin gasped, and shouted, “Jameson?!”

The swimmer paused, turning around. It was him! Marvin rushed forward, tackling Jameson with a hug around the middle. The force knocked Jameson back, pushing his head out of the water. “It’s you! Oh my gods, I was so worried! Are you okay? How are you?”

Jameson could barely seem to keep up with the questions. Slowly, he signed, You’re pinning my wings.

“Oh sorry!” Marvin backed away, and ended up poking his head out of the water too. “But oh my gods! I was so fucking—I thought—well I didn’t think, but I worried—oh my gods, are you okay? Wait, I just asked that.”

I’m mostly fine, Jameson said. But I was looking for you! The eel hypnotized me and—

“Oh, he did! We were wondering about that! When we saw the cave he’d dug in the riverbed I knew it had to be Anti, but we weren’t sure if he’d used the stone—” Marvin suddenly gasped. “Wait, Jameson, where are the fries?! Are they okay?!”

Last I checked, Jameson said. I don’t think the eel would hurt kids but we don’t want to push our luck. Listen, I know where he is—

“Yeah, we do too! Chase found him like two days ago, we met up and we were discussing ways to get you and the fries back...well, I guess just get the fries back now.” Marvin beamed, clapping his hands. The movement sent splashes through the surface of the water. “But this is great! You can help us!”

You have a plan? Jameson asked. What is it?

“Here, I’ll explain while we swim. It’s not a good idea to hang out in the delta, sometimes humans come through here.”

The water was significantly deeper by the time Marvin had finished explaining everything that had happened while Jameson was gone. He had taken a while, backtracking back to the point which he sometimes lost. But once he was done, he looked at Jameson to gauge his reaction. Jameson, meanwhile, was silent for a while. Are you sure that’s going to work? he asked.

“Sure! It’ll be even better now that you’re here. We’ll have two people that can lead us to the location.” Marvin hesitated. Jameson didn’t seem quite as confident as the rest of them did. “You...don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he offered.

Jameson shook his head. No, I’m coming. I’m not leaving two pups alone with an electric eel.

“Wait…” Marvin slowed. “Fuck! We forgot about the electricity! That changes things, we’ll have to make sure not to get too close—” He turned around. “We need to tell the others!”

Marvin, wait. Jameson grabbed Marvin’s arm, pulling him back. We can tell them in the morning. It’s the middle of the night, and you said you were planning to rest. And no offense, but you look like you need it.

“Gee, thanks,” Marvin drawled. He looked back in the direction they came. “Fcuk, how’d we forget about that? That’s a big-ass thing to miss!”

You’ll just have to adjust your fight methods a bit, it’s going to be fine, Jameson reassured him.

“You didn’t look like you thought it was going to be fine a minute ago!”

Well, it is. If you guys think this plan is watertight, then I trust it, Jameson said, smiling. You’re all smart like that.

“Aw...thanks, James,” Marvin muttered. He glanced back again. “You’re right, we...we can do this.”

But not if you’re too tired to swim, Jameson pointed out.

“Alright, I’ll try to go to sleep. You do, too.” Marvin turned back. “C’mon, we’re almost there.”

The night passed quietly for everyone.

[signs-of-the-moon]

Moon Rise: Chapter 39

Warning: this chapter features depictions of an illness that may be considered similar to Covid-19, and could potentially upset those effected by it. Reader discretion is advised

Swiftcloud awoke early the next day, emerging from the shelter of the warrior's den into the crisp morning air. The clearing was shrouded in darkness. The sky above was nothing more than a depressing gray slate. Snow still fell upon the meadow, turning everything powdery white. Even the ground underpaw was covered. Swiftcloud shivered as a chill started to seep into her pawpads. She skipped over towards the shadow of the Tall Stone, where less snow had settled. Even here the ground was as cold as stone, but it was better than standing ankles deep in the white substance.

Other warriors stood within this small clearing. Chicorynose sat above the rest, atop Tall Stone's peak. It appeared she was ready to send out the dawn patrol.

"This morning we will be prioritizing our border patrols over hunting," the deputy began, "it'll be harder to catch anything while the sun's barely risen, especially with this snow. For now, let's ensure all of our scent markers have been freshened up. Shadowfang, lead a patrol to the Twolegplace border. Cloverpetal, you'll take a patrol to the Forest Patch. And Cowpatch will lead one to Mountainclan. You three may choose whoever you want to join you."

Instantly Shadowfang turned to acknowledge his mate. "You already know I'm having you join me," he remarked to Swiftcloud.

"You'd better," Swiftcloud warned teasingly, "someone has to be around to make sure you don't go fighting any more kittypets."

"That was one time! I was young. Besides, how was I supposed to know that kittypet would one day become the love of my life?"

Swiftcloud let out a flustered mrrow of laughter, batting at Shadowfang's whiskers playfully. "So who else are you going to take on your patrol?"

"How about Bumblethroat and Sheeptail?" Shadowfang suggested

"Good idea," Swiftcloud agreed, turning. "Let's go find them." 

"No need, I've already found you." Bumblethroat came padding over to the mates, tail held high in greetings. "I was just about to ask if I could join you two. I need a good jog. My chest's feeling kind of heavy today and I'm hoping the morning air will do me some good."

"Why don't you see a medicine cat about that?" Swiftcloud prompted, lifting a paw to lick warm. 

"I'm sure I'll be alright. It's nothing to bother Goldensong and Mistyleaf over. How about I grab Sheeptail for you, and we'll meet you two over by the brambles?"

"Sounds good," Shadowfang agreed to the plan. "We'll be waiting. Try not to take too long." 

***

The sun slowly creeped overhead as the patrol made their way across the snowy meadow. The land was still dark, the fields hard to navigate behind it's flurry curtain. But the four warriors had been this way dozens of times; by now they didn't need their sight to know where they were headed. When they'd arrived, three out of the patrol wasted no time remarking the border. One cat, however, was straggling behind. 

Bumblethroat came hobbling over to the others, wheezing. His breathing came out more as a ragged pant as he settled beside his clanmates. Despite concerned looks, the tom insisted that he was fine. Shadowfang and Sheeptail chose to believe him, but Swiftcloud was skeptical.

Later, as the patrol made their way along the edge of their territory, Bumblethroat began to cough. The cough didn't appear to be a mere tickle in his throat, nor was it a one off instance throughout the rest of the mission. It became more of an upsetting, reoccurring nuisance. By the time the dawn patrol was concluded, the tabby looked as though he'd run across the whole meadow and back.

"Bumblethroat, you really should go see Goldensong," Swiftcloud insisted as they entered the camp. Bumblethroat whimpered a little, then nodded his head in defeat. The white and black patched molly watched as her clanmate made his way over to the medicine den. She stared onward for an extra couple of heartbeats to make sure the tom would keep his word. Satisfied, shr turned her attention elsewhere for the remainder of the day. 

Two days passed. Many of clan awoke to the sound Sheeptail wheezing. Swiftcloud sat up in her nest to study the white tom, still a groggy from sleep. Sheeptail's head was bent and back arched, jaws parted in a pant as he tried to catch his breath. Around them, despite how late into the night it was, every cat was on edge. Swiftcloud's denmates slowly crawled away from Sheeptail, like he would lash out and kill them at any moment. Swiftcloud didn't understand why they were all making such a fuss. She stood, padding towards Sheeptail to check on him. Certainly no one else would.

"Swiftcloud!" A pair of jaws clamped around her scruff. The patched molly turned to look into the worried eyes of her mate who began to drag her back with all the might he could muster. Swiftcloud promptly pulled herself from Shadowfang's grasp, turning to face him, awaiting an explanation.

"Don't go near him. I don't want you getting sick, too," Shadowfang mewled.

"He's not sick," Swiftcloud insisted, though she was clearly in denial. There's no way a third cat could be sick. Rosebloom was isolated yesterday. The greencough couldn't possibly be spreading. Could it..?

"Can't you smell it? Sheeptail is ill, Swift. Or getting there. Bumblethroat and Rosebloom have already been confirmed to have something. It's better we be safe than sorry," Shadowfang insisted in return. Swiftcloud huffed, sitting down. Shadowfang came to stand in front of her, as if he could protect her from the possible disease with his body. 

"Sheeptail, dear, why don't you go and have a little chat with Goldensong?" Quailbelly suggested to the tom, shielded behind the large form of Frostfeather.

Sheeptail lifted his head weakly. He nodded then rose to his paws, practically dragging himself out of the warrior's den. Swiftcloud's denmates let out a collective sigh once the senior warrior was out of sight. They moved back to their usual nests, tension still heavy in the atmosphere. Shadowfang shook out his pelt to rid himself of his nerves.

"I'm sorry about that. But we can't risk you catching whatever he may have," the black tom mewed, bumping his head against Swiftcloud's chin. Swiftcloud nodded in understanding, licking Shadowfang on his muzzle before settling down with him in their shared nest.

More coughing erupted outside in the morning when the warriors awoke once more. Slugsnout and Snailear were paired together, herded by concerned clanmates over to the medicine den. At a safe distance, of course. And in the days to come, more cats would follow. Meadowcall, Ladybugbite, Boulderfall, Seedpaw, and a few of the clan's kits were among them. Too many cats to house in the medicine den. A decision was made to move all sick cats to one location. Anyone with even the slightest cough was isolated in the elder's den, sending the displaced elders to live with the warriors for a while. After all, the den was halfway vacant.

Things stayed pretty contained, or at least for a few days. Then another case of greencough would make itself known, and Whitestar would begrudgingly have to order another cat to quarentine.

Grassclan's warriors were dropping like flies, and at the worst possible time. Leafbare fully settled upon the Land's Star; most prey had gone into hiding or hibernation for the season. The snow remained ever present on the meadow, making the world seem that much bleaker. Cats were hungrier now than they'd been in previous moons. And that drove the remaining healthy warriors to work themselves to the bone, as they tried to provide for the rest of the clan.

Swiftcloud was no different. Sometimes, she'd stay out long into the night trying to find a bite to eat. And when she'd catch something, the prey always went right to the queens. She made sure to that.

Three quarter moons had passed since the first cat had been diagnosed with greencough. By now it'd been two days since Swiftcloud had anything to eat. Her belly ached, so badly that she felt as if she were dying. She had no idea why she felt so awful. She'd grown used to hunger by now. Despite the risk of going, she decided to take herself to the medicine den. Maybe the medicine cats would have an herb that would cure the knawing pain in her intestines. Luckily no sick cats were in the den at this time. Mistyleaf and Snowfrost sat within the tree trunk's confines alone, shuffling through a pile of herbs.

"Do you think there's enough here to provide everyone a dose?" Mistyleaf asked. Snowfrost twitched her whiskers.

"Hardly," she admitted. "Hopefully enough to at least dull their symptoms. Adding in chickweed might help. Oh- and we'll need to add some tansy to Rosebloom's mixture today. She's running a fever."

Swiftcloud felt bad for pulling the healers away from their work, but she was desperate. "Um, excuse me?" She meeped.

"Swiftcloud!" Mistyleaf perked up. "What's wrong? You don't appear to be sick. How are you feeling?"

"My stomach hurts. It feels as though my insides are missing," she explained with a grimace.

Mistyleaf stepped away from her task, sniffing her friend. "Hm. When was the last time you ate?"

Swiftcloud blinked. The thought of food had barely crossed her mind recently. "Ate..? Um...well, I can't remember honestly. All the prey I've caught I've used to feed the queens and kits."

"But you didn't think to save some for yourself?" Snowfrost snorted.

Swiftcloud shrank in her fur. "The Code says queens and elders eat before the warriors."

"And you didn't think that the Warrior Code may want you to save at least a mouthful of food for yourself? You're a adult, Swiftcloud use your head!" The medicine cat snapped. Snowfrost gave her head a shake, putting her focus back on her herbs. She muttered to herself as she sorted through her supplies, clearly agitated by Swiftcloud's ignorance. "Warriors and their pride, I swear it's obnoxious sometimes."

"Snowfrost has a point," Mistyleaf agreed. "I'm sure the reason your stomach feels so bad is because you've been starving yourself."

Starving..? That was a concept Swiftcloud hadn't been familiar with before. In her life she'd barely known hunger, yet alone something so severe. A luxury, perhaps, she was granted due to being born a kittypet. Swiftcloud had known of starvation, but never realized it would make her feel so hollow. For a brief moment, Swiftcloud thought back to the day she had been invited to join the clan. Whitestar had warned about the dangers of Leafbare. The fierce cold, the lack of food. And yet, despite facing it all now Swiftcloud had no regrets. She would always be happy to be part of Grassclan, even if she had to go hungry.

"You need to go have something to eat." Mistyleaf's voice cut into Swiftcloud's thoughts. "Consider this a medicine cat's orders. And if anyone should gripe at you about it, tell them they can come speak to us."

Swiftcloud nodded weakly, eyes wide in shock at the stern tone Mistyleaf had acquired. She was too stunned to speak, in too much pain to even think. Instead, Swiftcloud turned herself around and brought herself out to the fresh-kill pile. The pile was the smallest that she had ever seen it. Swiftcloud knew a hunting party had recently returned home. Yet there was only a half sized mouse and a scrawny vole to choose from. Swiftcloud didn't care which she ate, all she knew now was that she needed this food. Just the smell of it alone reminded her of how hungry she truly was.

Out of desperation she gave into her temptations. Swiftcloud quickly snatched up the vole, pulling it close to her chest. The first bite she took was glorious. The flavors sang loudly on her tongue, and her stomach begged her to eat more. Swiftcloud consumed the rest of her meal in a matter of heartbeats, the delicious meat of the vole disappearing inside of her all too soon. For a moment, Swiftcloud felt satisfied. But the sight of the mouse still sitting there on the icy ground was calling to her. Well...I haven't eaten in a while. And Mistyleaf did say to eat, so... Swiftcloud got back to her paws. With claws extended she gripped the mouse up and pulled it towards her. As she was about to settle down to eat again, Rabbitstorm appeared through the bramble tunnel. His eyes were sunken, his expression miserable. In his grasp he held nothing, despite returning home from hunting. The lynx point tom practically dragged himself over to Swiftcloud, slumping into the snow as he sat beside her. Swiftcloud resisted the urge to whimper. She hated seeing her friend so defeated. Since Heatherwing had died, Rabbitstorm hadn't been the same. He was more work driven, and a bit snappier with others. It was almost as if he'd reverted back to an apprentice again; in personality at least. Although Rabbitstorm had become a bit clingier. When he wasn't doing work, he was spending time with his mother or siblings. And when they were too busy, he'd come to spend time with Swiftcloud. She was honored, honestly, that Rabbitstorm found comfort in her company. At least she thought he did. It was hard to tell. Regardless, Rabbitstorm's constant presence reassured her at least that the bond they had formed hadn't shifted back with his attitude.

Despite her stomach growling at her, urging her to go back to eating, Swiftcloud refused to do so. Instead, she pushed the mouse over to Rabbitstorm, showing him a soft smile. "Here. I think you could use this more than I can right now," she meowed. "I know it's not much, but-"

"Thank you," Rabbitstorm interrupted with a sigh of relief. He lowered his head, taking small bites of the prey in front of him. He leaned his larger body against Swiftcloud's, warming her with his long fur. Swiftcloud felt grateful for the tom's presence, and was happy to have a friend like him. In the beginning, Rabbitstorm had hated Swiftcloud. The two were practically rivals, insulting each other, playing tricks on one another. But after many moons they were finally getting along. Sure on occasion the two would pass on snarky remarks, but now it was all in good fun. Rabbitstorm wasn't such a bad cat. And Swiftcloud hoped that he thought the same of her.

Rabbitstorm let out a satisfied sigh as his mouse became nothing more than fur and bones. He purred, turning to groom Swiftcloud's shoulder. In return she cleaned his. For a few moments the pair shared tongues, comfortable in the silence that had settled between them. But a gust of cold wind blew through the camp, making the warriors jump to their paws. In silent agreement they walked with each other to enter the warmth of the warriors' den.

Here, the remaining healthy warriors of the clan were taking shelter. Most had been out not long ago, finishing patrols and returning empty pawed from their hunting parties. A gloom seemed to hang heavy in the hollowed stone den. Swiftcloud saw depression in some cats eyes. In one way or another, every cat was connected to the ill or starving. If they weren't among those directly suffering.

Quietly in the back of the den, Swiftcloud could see Cloverpetal crying. She hadn't eaten in nearly a quarter moon, and Swiftcloud knew the other molly was reaching her breaking point. But still, she refused food. She wanted everyone else to eat instead. Cloverpetal was a quiet, kind soul. She would never complain about anything, and would give someone the fur off her back if they needed it. But Swiftcloud thought the pale calico molly was being foolish. Still, she wouldn't say anything. Not long ago Swiftcloud was doing the same exact thing. She knew she had no right to judge.

In the center of the den, the clan's two remaining elders laid. Tornface was grooming his pelt, possibly trying to warm himself. While Smokesnout lay curled in a ball, his son Shadowfang beside him. The two toms were not very close, but Shadowfang still respected his father. In this trying time he was determined to provide the elderly tom some support, especially since he was the only family Smokesnout had left. Swiftcloud admired that in her mate. He cared, even if he didn't have much reason to. Smokesnout wasn't much of a father; he never showed the same compassion for his kit as Ashwhisker, the dam of his litter, did. But Shadowfang wouldn't hold it against him. Some cats weren't cut out to be parents.

Swiftcloud touched her nose to Rabbitstorm's ear gently as she tiptoed towards the center of the den. She settled by Shadowfang's side, giving his cheek a good rub with her own. Shadowfang purred a little from her affection, a warm glow in his eyes. But the glow swiftly dimmed as he turned his gaze back onto Smokesnout.

"He's gone," Shadowfang whispered only loud enough for his mate to hear.

Swiftcloud blinked in confusion. "W..what?"

"Smokesnout," Shadowfang clarified, licking the dusky elder's still shoulder. "He's dead."

Swiftcloud felt her heart drop into her paws, a ringing dulling her hearing. "What do you mean he's dead? H-how? When...?" She stammered, voice low.

Shadowfang sighed, looking melancholy. "A little while ago. I noticed he stopped breathing... But he's so peaceful, I don't want to take him from his nest yet."

"Shadowfang..." Swiftcloud pressed herself into her mate. "I'm so sorry.... But, we shouldn't keep him here anymore. The clan will want to know he's gone; they'll want to mourn him."

"I know," Shadowfang sighed once more, rising to his paws. He bent his head, griping Smokesnout's body by the scruff. Swiftcloud stood to be with them. At once, the focus of the entire den fell upon them. Every cat's eyes were dark; a knowing look passing between each of them. Shadowfang tried not to pay attention, wanting to ignore the pity that would soon be passed onto him. Rabbitstorm came over as the mates began to take the elder out of the den. He moved to Smokesnout's free side, helping Shadowfang carry his father. The three warriors emerged into the windy Leaf-bare evening, placing Smokesnout's body in the center of camp. Here he would have an easier time traveling to Starclan, and here the rest of the clan could come to properly say goodbye.

"I should tell my dad," Shadowfang realized. "Im not sure if he'll come out right away, though. Pigeon's isn't doing well... But, I know him. He'll at least want to send Smokesnout off with a prayer." With his reasoning voice, the sleek black tom turned, stalking to the elder's den.

"I'll go inform the medicine cats," Rabbitstorm decided, heading off in the opposite direction.

Swiftcloud sat alone in the cold empty clearing, awaiting the arrival of others. She stood there, in the whistling wind, staring at the body in front of her. Smokesnout's fur ruffled in the breeze, the only movement to come from the elderly tom. Shadowfang had made sure to lay him down nicely. The old tom appeared as though he had fallen asleep. It was almost eerie.

This was the first casualty of many to come, Swiftcloud realized. The knowledge of that filled her with a terrible sense of dread. She knew things would only get worse from here on. And yet, there was still a small glimmer of hope left inside of her. The gathering would be soon. Maybe Grassclan could ask for prey and herbs from some of the others. The chances were slim, Swiftcloud knew, but she had to keep her chin up. If she gave up hope now, what else would she have?

[cartoonsliveon]

Teen Titans Pokemon Rescue Team AU

So instead of going through what kind of Pokemon trainers all of the Titans would be and the Pokemon they have, what if our favorite heroes were Pokemon living in the Pokemon world and were a Pokemon Rescue Team.

Robin is a Hawlucha. Out of all the fighting types to pick from, Hawlucha is one of the only fighting types, other than maybe Riolu and Lucario that is designed to look like they are wearing a mask. And while it is tempting to make Robin a Riolu because everyone loves Riolu, how can Robin also not be the only flying fighting type? Hawlucha’s wings give it the illusion of a cape, and according to the Pokedex entry, “its proficient fighting skills enable it to keep up with big bruisers like Machamp and Hariyama” despite it’s small size. Despite Robin having no powers, he manages to keep up with all his super powered friends and kick some serious butt against villains loads more powerful than him.

Starfire is a Clefairy (though I do think she would be a powerful Deoxys). Because of her extraterrestial origins, Starfire definitely had to be one of the Pokemon that is believed to come from space, but she couldn’t be a legendary Pokemon otherwise she’d be like... super over powered. Clefairy made the most sense because of its cute appearance. Starfire always had a soft spot for cute things and did not look at all as powerful as she actually is. Clefairy is cute and, honestly, could be mistaken as a weak Pokemon. But it can be pretty tough and bulky. 

Cyborg is a Metagross, because it’s so bulky and mechanical looking but also state of the art. Cyborg has always been a tough character who seemed capable of being able to take what he could put out. It was a difficult choice, because Metagross is steel and psychic, but he’s such a sleek and technological styled Pokemon. This is the type of Pokemon you expect to stop a bus, something Cyborg has actually done. And I think Cyborg, when he’s angry, cam be pretty intimidating just like a Metagross. And who says a Metagross can’t have a sense of humor either?

Beast Boy, is a shiny Ditto. Duh. It seems only right for a shapeshifter to become a Pokemon that is also a shapeshifter. The reason he is shiny though is because, well, Beast Boy is green. When he shapeshifts, most of the things he turns into stay green. They aren’t their normal coloring. And yeah... a shiny Ditto is more of a light blue than green, but Beast Boy the Ditto would be transforming into the shiny version of Pokemon. And some shiny Pokemon are super obviously shiny, and other’s aren’t that much. It fits with how his powers work and how sometimes, when he shapeshifts, he’s going to be the natural color of the animals he turns into like lizards and how most of the time he isn’t.

Raven is a Misdreavus. Although her name is Raven, and the obvious choice did genuinely feel like a Murkrow, ghost Pokemon are often shunned and avoided because of their creepy nature and origins. Most of them are supposedly the souls of actual people, specifically children. Raven has always felt like she didn’t belong among the Titans, that she was creepy. Those feelings feel like they would most emulate and match something that a ghost Pokemon might feel. Furthermore, Misdreavus’s red necklace drew my attention because it reminded me of her chakra stone. 

Instead of being a group of super heroes, the five friends became a huge Pokemon Rescue Team known as Team Titan. They have a very strange base, it resides in this weird crevice cave that looks out over a cliff side and has a couple of tunnels leading deeper inside. Cyborg is convinced that the tunnels used to belong to an old colony of Digletts and Dugtrios. Theres a rock, cliffside path that they can take and a secret underground tunnel that is, unfortunately, not big enough for Cyborg. It’s a cozy little home, and the five of them make by. They aren’t particularly picky about the type of rescue adventures they go on, but if they have a chance to capture some crook that is causing trouble in the forest or in some other Pokemon community, they’ll prioritize that over anything. Especially Robin. 

The Honorary Titans, their friends in the show who make up Titans East and such, they are Pokemon that they’ve come across on their adventures who have helped them or, having heard of them, wanted to become members of the exploration team. These Honorary Titans have their own branch of the Rescue Team organization so they can help other Pokemon in places the original Titans can’t get to. 

Bumblebee is, obviously, a Beedrill. Mas y Menos are Plusle and Minun respectively. Aqualad is a Buizel. Speedy is an Aipom (there are no archer Pokemon. I figured, because Aipom’s tail is a hand and a really handy extra appendage, that might substitute the bow and arrows). 

Terra is a Cubone, and there was a time where she was part of Team Titans, but she was manipulated by their arch nemesis into betraying them. Slade promised her revenge against whoever it was that killed her mother (Cubone wear the skull of their deceased mother, who was unjustly murdered [in the anime I think it’s Team Rocket but it’s been a minute]). 

Slade, in this universe, is a Toxicroak. Toxicroak is a Poison Fighting type, which I think suits the villain very well because of how deadly he is. He’s a dangerous opponent in fighting, and he basically poisoned the other Titans to get Robin to be his apprentince. Technically it was nanobots, but they essentially had robots poisoning their bloodstream ready to kill them at the press of a button. It also makes him effective against all of the main Titans. Fighting types, Normal Types, and Steel types are weak against Fighting. Fairy is weak against Poison. And although Raven would be neutral or potentially have the advantage on him, any dark type moves she would have wouldn’t be effective against Slade. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[talesofthebnha-marvel]

Tales from Peter Parker Foreign Exchange Student: Scorpion and the hunt for the Hero killer

Somewhere in the Naruhata district, in one of the many condemned buildings in the area is currently being resided by the infamous villain team, the Sinister Six!

A group consisting entirely of Spider-mans rogues formed under an always-consistent even number. Though its members have rotated there burning hatred of the arachnid hero remains the same. Mysterio, Chameleon, Shocker, Sandman, Scorpion and Vulture are the current members of the group. Currently they are residing in the land of the Rising Sun as a favor to Mysterio involving an as yet unspecified plot for lucrative gain. Yet unbeknownst to the Sinister Six, Spider-man is also stationed in Japan as a student of U.A. High. Eventual a collision of rivals will occur, for now the members of the Six explore there new surrounding some partaking in extracurricularactivities.

Mac Gargan, alias the Scorpion looking is over a large board. On it is pinned with various newspapers and several threads crisscrossing each other like a web.

"Scorpion!" The vulture shouted from above as he descends besides Scorpion.

"What do you want Toomes?" Scorpion asked annoyed having his concentration broken.

Vulture sneered at Gargans dismissive tone.

"Our meeting with the local crime informant, Giran has been rescheduled for now Dmitri suggest we should acclimate to our new surrounding." Impatient to a response, the Vulture makes a quick turn around to see Scorpion still ignoring him.

"The least you could do Mac is make some conversation, what on earth are you researching 'Hero Killer'" Vulture scans the papers.

"Yeah its about this crazy who's been going around offing heroes or injuring them bad towards early retirement." Scorpion explained turning towards Vulture finally.

"And what offer him membership Macdonald, were already at max capacity of sociopaths with you in our group we don't need another one." Vulture mocked.

"Very funny jack-ass, but this ain't about recruitment."

"Than what exactly?"

"The WHY?" Scorpion responded to Vulture.

Vulture seemed perplexed but he reminds himself that Scorpions logic always made sense to his twisted mind.

"Every article is always the same, always asking the wrong questions." He continues.

"Who is he? How is he doing this? When will the Pro heroes stop him, (spit)." Scorpion mocked.

"No one ever asks the 'why' of his motives that's the real story the real scoop." He grins.

"Imoressive, if a bit pointless but he's a serial killer Gargan not much to glean from that. Said Vulture.

"These ain't no random killing Toomes this guy clearly has a conviction and its kinda bringing the detective side out of me, THERE!" he motions his tail on the map as he walks past Toomes grabbing his coat and hat.

Toomes looks at the city map Scorpions tail banged on the board as he sees the mark on the city, Niihama.

Its soon night in the city of Niihama, with Scorpion staking out on rooftop. Several food wrappers and soda cups are littered around him as he peers across the landscape with his binoculars. On his left a crude yet working customized police radio is broadcasting your standard police reports, all noise to his ears waiting purely for calls towards Pro heroes.

"Hrrm, what was it that Kraven always said 'to become the hunter you must think like your prey.' Scorpion recalled internally.

"This should be the place that 'Hero Killer' was last scene and knowing these 'heroes'. Scorpion said with a venomous tone at that last word.

"Them Pros will be rushing off during a crisis, I just need wait for one them to wander off into a dark alleyway and that's when Mr. Herokiller will strike."

Eventual a hero team burst into the scene as they begin a rescue operation by a nearby burning building. One of the heroes note something in an alleyway as she ventures alone.

"Bingo" Scorpion said elated.

Sometime later

Limping and bleeding out, the female hero costumed in a beetle inspired design finds herself exasperated and panic as the Hero Killer approaches. Garbed in an attire of a ninja, with mixture of red and black while his face is covered in several bandanas no doubt to reel in his unruly hair. He slowly moves in a katana in hand as he licks the blood from blade. The heroe's movements are quickly frozen in place unable to move desperately crying to herself

"Why can't I move?!" She screamed hoping her panic tears would be heard.

As she finds herself face first to the ground she can see the killer ready to thrust the blade until…

"HEY!" shouted the Scorpion across the alley as Stain looked up to see the yeller.

Reacting without thought, Stain quickly throws one of his daggers with almost lighting speed. However the Scorpion quickly counters with his mechanical tail sending the blade back as it pass his owners face right by the side of the wall. Unfazed, Stain held his ground staring at this stranger.

"Oh thank you hero please save me fro-"

"Shut up, I ain't here to save nobody especially some Beetle poser." Scorpion insulted as he cut her off using his tail to knock her out.

"I came to see you ' Hero Killer!'

"My business is not with you villain, leave me to my work or I share her fate." The killer threaten.

"Oh I ain't here to stop ya pally, I'm just a simple foreigner is all, I just got ask ya something is all." Scorpion explained.

The Hero Killer saw no ill intents from this stranger yet he could feel his aura of treachery and insanity lurking behind that false sense of camaraderie. For now he played along in order to gauge this new face.

"Very well foreigner, I am Stain ask your question and leave me to my mission."

Scorpion was a bit taken back by this 'Stain' character and pissed off. How dare he makes threats to me, Scorpion thought. But he remembers to keep his cool, he's Mac Gargan the detective first and Scorpion second on this case.

"Okay Stain, the names Scorpion." He introduced.

"I've been looking ya over for some time now trying to figure your M.O. all them heroes you killed or injured no relations what so ever. Yet one thing is common there all heroes. Its clearly not about the money, no real motive for payback and clearly puck and choose who lives and dies." Scorpion explained trying to inflate his ego as a detective.

"GET TO THE POINT!" Stain grew impatient.

Scorpion frowned holding back his gritted teeth from showing from Stains yelling.

"I was getting to that 'friend'." Said Scorpion losing his demeanor.

"Why? What are trying to accomplish offing off these loser heroes?" Scorpion asked in a serious tone.

Stain smiled a cold smile as he sheathed his sword.

"You are correct, I seek no monetary gain nor have these so called 'heroes' wronged me in the past." Stain confirmed Scorpions deduction.

"I seek out the false heroes that solely use there powers for wealth and fame, putting the needs of the people second for there own ambitions while ignoring there obligations as public servants first." Stain explains.

"Its an insult that they call themselves heroes, I have made it my mission to cleanse this world of false heroes, I will never stop for only All Might is worthy of the title hero! Only his sense of justice will I allow to bring about my defeat!" Stain continues as he slowly ramps up his rant.

"Does that answer your curiosity?"

Scorpion felt a bit taken back by the hero killer almost as if Stains aura swallowed him whole, trying to hold his ground Mac composes himself taking a quick breath to ease his nerves.

"And people say I'm crazy." Scorpion mocked.

Stain narrowed his eyes at Scorpion, annoyed by his flippant tone.

"Listen I hate these wannabe heroes as much as the next guy, but at the end of the day no chump can just live off good will and samaritan service."

"People gotta eat, pay taxes and all that other bureaucratic crap we can't all live up to that high horse ideal of the perfect hero crap, so you can stick your bull% $# college thesis up your $$ pally loser!" Scorpions retorted.

"Thanks for wasting my time." Scorpion walks away as he turns his back spitting at a trash can in a disrespectful manner as he makes a leap to the neareat fire escape ladder.

"Come back please, DON'T LEAVE ME!" The pro hero awakens begging for Scorpions help.

"F $# OFF LOSER!" Scorpion continues move on unmoved by the heroes cries.

"Foreigner villain, what does he know of our way in the end they will all learn." As he prepares to lunge his blade, Stain halts his action as he hears the voices of the oncoming team members of his victim closing in. Disappearing without trace he says to himself.

"Another time a different place, perhaps I'll visit Hosu."

Back at the rundown apartment, an enraged Scorpion storms the front entrance annoyed and pissed off.

"So how did it go?" Vulture said with a dry uninteresting tone.

"Pretentious looking ninja turtle with f #$ing delusions of grandeur!" Scorpion replied with a pissed off attitude.

"Sounds lame, you kick his ass?" Sandman asked.

"No"

"You steal his wallet?" Asked Shocker concerned.

"No!" Scorpion said again.

"So in other words a complete waste of time and effort, I'll be needing a receipt for your purchases." Chameleon prioritizing his funds.

"F $# off you losers, it wasn't all total loss." Scorpion grinned.

"Oh so their was a silver lining to this wasted ordeal of yours than?" Mysterio echoed behind his dome.

"People always underestimated me thinking I'm just some joke like you dorks, (except you Sandman.)" Sandman responds with a middle finger.

"But this event just reminded me, I'm still a damn good detective!" Scorpion unveils several headshot photos of different pro heroes.

"I've got a lot of dirty secrets to expose on these "so called heroes" and what better practice is there than in Japan!" Scorpion said ecstatically.

—–

Based on Tumblr @alexdrawsagain comic

Peter parker: foreign exchange student