#while simultaneously WANTING to please everyone despite that literally being impossible

[ta1is]

in honor of the time i sent my gf a feverish voice message in discord prattling on about this, i must now torture the dash with it:

jayce's greatest strength and simultaneously greatest weakness is his empathy

he so effortlessly understands where people are coming from, and that makes it exceptionally hard to decide who's right, who's wrong, who he should be supporting, who he should be standing against . . . if you genuinely and wholeheartedly understand every single standpoint in an issue, what do you actually fckn do?

that's his achilles heel throughout the show. he has core values he ends up straying from because he's so empathetic toward everyone else's causes. he's gullible because his emotional literacy makes him prone to understanding basically anyone even if he didn't originally agree with them or still doesn't

the recipe for a bIGGER disaster is him also being a people pleaser. he's scrambling to appease everyone, bolstered by his innate ability to put himself in everyone's shoes— yeah, no fuckin duh he ends up screwing most everything up royally because this boy is constantly trying to do the impossible and stretching himself thinner than viktor

he's so real for that jfc jayce we're really in it now

[japes-the-clown]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

[mingkily]

｡☆✼★━ [11:17] | s.mg ━★✼☆｡

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“so you got me this sweater so you could wear it?”

“so we could wear it.”

in the one and a half years you’d known mingi already, he’d made it a point to run around the entire flat every single time there was an occasion for him to receive presents as if you, for some reason unbeknownst to everyone but him, had decided to hide his presents the way was so common for easter, even when it wasn’t at all easter. no matter how often you’d told him that no, you hadn’t hidden anything, the presents he received were the only presents there were, he would always run around and look for more. so for him to miss a present that was literally right underneath the christmas tree just because it was wrapped in green wrapping paper instead of the usual bright red one was hilarious to you, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he investigated the crime scene that was your bathroom (why he thought you’d hide a christmas present in the bathroom you’d never know), entirely oblivious to the present waiting for him right there in your little living room.

“why are you laughing?”, your boyfriend asked, exasperatedly, running his hands through his hair before he opened the toilet’s cistern and continued his search for whatever presents he assumed you’d hidden, and then: “i knew there were more presents! why can’t you just tell me where they are?”, and he sounded so whiny that, as much as you didn’t want to laugh at him because you loved him and because he was adorable, your laughter only increased.

“you’re so mean!”, that pout on his face that you by now knew to be only partly authentic, but also partly there because he had learned that if he pouted at you you’d give in to him within a few minutes. knowing that this was just a strategy to get you to reveal your secrets didn’t mean that you were immune to him, though.

so, because you loved him so much and because you didn’t want to see him even the tiniest bit upset, you offered: “give me a kiss and i’ll show you the last present.”

he did as asked without hesitation, abandoned the cistern to give you his undivided attention, and to give you a kiss, too, a sweet kiss that had you know that he really wanted this present, but that also had you know that he really adored you.

“show me now?”, he murmured against your lips as he broke the kiss, but you didn’t want to just yet, wanted another kiss because really, how could you not? so you took advantage of the current position and pulled him against you for another kiss, though you kept it short because you had promised him that you’d show him the present after the first and you didn’t want to keep him waiting, no matter how much you enjoyed kissing him.

“now”, you promised, and kept that promise right away, too, by dragging him back to the living room, where you revealed the present he had so expertly missed, his eyes going wide as he realised that despite his careful examination of the christmas scene he had missed an entire present, and a rather big one at that.

“open it”, you urged him, and you didn’t have to tell him twice, his big hands ripping at the wrapping paper like an excited puppy would devour its very first newspaper, leaving little pieces of green to trickle onto the floor like snow.

“it’s soft!” was the first thing he noticed about the sweater that had been a group effort from you, hongjoong and yunho, hongjoong and you upcycling the sweater while yunho had been responsible for distracting his best friend so much that said best friend wouldn’t notice just how much time you’d been spending with the short man.

then, once the sweater was fully freed from its gift wrap constricts and spread out on your boyfriend’s much more spacious lap: “did you make this?”

because it was very much obvious that this was handmade, a somewhat wobbly tie dye heart adorning the middle of the sweater’s front, and a lot of tiny, equally wobbly drawings covering the rest of it. it wasn’t exactly pretty, but it had been made with love, and mingi could tell that you’d tried your hardest.

“hongjoong helped me because i’ve never done tie dye or anything before. but yeah, i made this”, smiling at him, though anxiously, part of you scared that he wouldn’t like it after you’d tried so hard to make something sweet and personal for him.

“it’s so cute! thank you”, and he pulled you towards him by your wrist, laughing when you near knocked him over but preventing the two of you from falling by using his free hand to keep his body up, offering himself as a shield to keep your face from having an unpleasant encounter with the floor.

“you like it?”, you asked him, having taken advantage of the position you’d ended up in by shuffling so your head was in his lap, looking up at him with your head resting where his ankles were crossed, body spread out in front of him like a leg extension.

“i love it! but”, now examining the sweater more closely and finding what he assumed to be a flaw caused by you not knowing his size and simply having opted for the biggest one since he always towered over you, “i’m not that big. this could probably fit two of me.”

you’d intended to wait a little longer with revealing the purpose of the sweater being way bigger than your boyfriend’s regular shirts - and those were usually already oversized -, but now that he’d put you on the spot and somewhat implied that you didn’t know his size, as if you weren’t paying attention to small details like that, you had to defend your honour, and this defending came at the expense of what you’d wanted to keep as a surprise for when he decided to wear the shirt to bed.

“not two of you”, you told him, mischief in your eyes, “one of you and one of me.”

though mingi didn’t yet understand the hidden purpose of his gift, just nodding at you as he approved of your statement.

“yeah, that would fit too.”

your adorable giant was a little slow sometimes, but that was part of why you loved him, and it wasn’t like you couldn’t help him understand.

“put it on”, you suggested, something he did without hesitation, near drowning in the massive but incredibly soft shirt, and he spread his arms to show it off to you who had now left your comfortable position on his lap to look at him and, once that was done, to join him in the sweater.

“now you look the way i feel when i wear your shirts”, you assessed with a smile, causing him to tease you a little.

“cute and really tiny?”

“yeah. now don’t move”, an order he followed despite not knowing why he was sentenced to immobility so suddenly, but he started to understand when you settled on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, and pulled up his new shirt while simultaneously ducking your head a little before both of you were now wearing his sweater.

“i’m glad it works”, you told him with a sheepish grin on your face, weaseling your arms out from the sweater-y confinement they were currently trapped in through the neckline so you could wrap them around his neck in preparation of the armada of kisses that were without a doubt coming his way any second now.

“so you got me this sweater so you could wear it?”, pretending to be offended at your apparent greediness, wanting to wear his present, to which you replied: “so we could wear it”, followed by said armada of kisses which served well in making him shut up.

“this was such a cute idea”, your boyfriend praised your choice of gift once his lips were no longer falling victim to your incessant kissing, taking the chance to peck your chin because that was most easily reachable as you smiled at him proudly.

“i’m glad. so you’ll stop disassembling our flat on the hunt for more presents?”, a question that was equal parts hopeful and teasing - you still hadn’t forgotten the way he’d looked in the cistern for potential hidden presents, and you’d like for him to quit his efforts before he disassembled something that would be hard if not impossible to reassemble by yourself.

“mmh”, pondering for a moment with his face hidden in your neck, something you took as a good sign because as long as he kept his face there you weren’t at risk of him running off and dissecting your kitchen cupboards or anything of the sorts.

“please?”, you pleaded, knowing full well that he was hardly ever able to resist you when you whined like that, and it once more proved to be effective because he sighed out a “fine” against your neck before choosing to ruin your peaceful, relaxed state of mind instead of your furniture for once, with his chosen method of destruction being neck kisses that started out soft and sweet but that soon morphed into him tickling you, not letting up no matter how much you struggled in his hold.

“you can’t escape me. you’re stuck here”, he growled against your neck, a threat followed by even more kisses pressed to awfully ticklish spots, attacking ticklish spot after ticklish spot with a deadly precision because he knew where all of them were, usually doing his best to avoid them but now using the knowledge as means to aid in his loving torture.

“you’re stuck in my shirt”, he added on, still not letting up, and despite the way you were laughing you silently already cursed yourself. you shouldn’t have gotten him that damn shirt.

[anotherkpopvictim]

Respected and Loved - NamKook Littlespace Drabble

(Gif source - me)

“Anonymous asked:  Hey! I was wondering if you could do a Jungkook-centric littlespace AU. I was wondering if his main caregiver could be Namjoon hyung. Panic attacks and angst with fluff and happiness at the end would be great.”

A/N: I know that I took longer to post it than I originally planned, but I realized that posting it for Kook’s birthday would be perfect so I hope it was worth the wait! Also, I really liked the JinKook idea you gave me as well, I might work on it for a while and post that for Jin’s birthday in December.

Anyways, enjoy! And Happy Birthday to the one and only Jeon Jungkook <3

Pairing: Little!Jungkook X Caregiver!Namjoon

Rating: T (swearing, panic attack)

Words: 2923

Hurt/comfort, fluff

WARNING: There is a pretty detailed panic attack, so if that triggers you at all, please do not read this fic.

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It was obvious to anyone and everyone with eyes that Jeon Jungkook admired and respected his Namjoon-hyung. Between the doe eyes staring up at the older like he hung the stars in the sky and the way Jungkook’s bratty behavior immediately stopped whenever Namjoon scolded him, the other members figured it out within about 0.2 seconds of knowing them both.

The thing was...Jungkook never just admired and respected his hyung. He loved him. Jungkook loved Namjoon. He didn’t know that he was in love back when they were trainees and fighting tooth and nail to be able to debut. He was too young back then to understand the pounding of his heart when his hyung was around or the way he felt like he simultaneously couldn’t breathe around Namjoon and could only breathe when he was around. It was love, though, as he grew to understand.

Alas, Namjoon never seemed to quite realize just how much he meant to their beloved maknae. For someone with an IQ of 148, he sure was oblivious when it came to Jungkook’s feelings for him.

One night a few months following their Danger promotions, the maknae line had gathered together for a sleepover. The three laid cuddled together in the bed, lights off for the night, and whispers of hesitant secrets filling the air between them.

“Jungkook,” Jimin looked at him seriously, “You love him, don’t you? Namjoon-hyung?”

And Jungkook turned as red as a tomato, stuttering over his next words. “As a h-hyung? Of course I love him.”

“What about as a lover, Kookie?” Jimin continued, not for a second buying into the younger’s act.

Taehyung, looking adorably confused, turned to Jungkook with questioning eyes. Now the maknae was trapped between his two hyungs’ gazes and bodies, unable to lie.

“Y-Yeah,” he managed out in something of a squeak. “Yeah, I love him.”

That was the first time Jungkook ever admitted it to anyone or even out loud. Seokjin was next to ask him about it, followed by Yoongi and finally Hoseok.

So, literally everyone in the group knew that Jungkook was in love with Namjoon for years and Namjoon himself still didn’t have a single clue, or if he did, he was hiding it extremely well.

Even as they got older, as Jungkook found out about littlespace, as everyone accidentally found out Jungkook was a little, as the leader became Jungkook’s unofficial main caregiver, Namjoon still didn’t realize.

Honestly, Jungkook came to the conclusion that he never would. That Jungkook would have to take his feelings to the grave with him. It wasn’t like he was ever going to confess himself, considering how timid and anxiety-ridden he was.

So, when the leader finally did find out about Jungkook’s feelings, it came as a shock to both of them.

The day was like any other and Jungkook hadn’t the slightest suspicion that his secret was going to be revealed.

He was in the dance studio with Hoseok, Seokjin, and Jimin, goofing off even if they probably should have been practicing. They were playing a game of choosing a random song and having someone freestyle dance to it.

Jimin was the first to go, and when Hoseok put on a super bright girl group song, Jimin didn’t hesitate to go full-on with the choreography and cute actions. He basked in the cheers he received from the others.

Hoseok took the floor next and got into a starting stance. Seokjin grinned smugly in his direction before putting on possibly the saddest song ever. It was a song in English so they didn’t understand all of the lyrics, but they understood enough that it made them laugh when Hoseok began his popping routine anyways. The song and the dance didn’t match in the slightest, which was what made them all lose it, really.

Seokjin took his turn confidently and listened for the beginning notes of whatever song Jungkook was going to play.

The maknae took a moment to think of a good song and grinned once he thought of one.

A heavy bass and EDM beat filled the room, a song that Jungkook knew Hoseok would be amazing at freestyling to.

Seokjin nodded before cracking his knuckles and then breaking into a complicated dance routine filled with all of the most famous, cheesy dance moves in it. He started with a slick Moonwalk, followed by the Chicken Dance, the Carlton, and the Shopping Cart.

The three dancers were on the floor laughing their asses off when Jin confidently hit the Mashed Potato and the Lawnmower before finishing off his performance with the Gangnam Style dance and the Bus Driver.

It took a good few minutes after Jin’s spectacular performance for them to gather themselves back together. Jungkook finally wiped away the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes and took the stage.

Jimin gave him a smirk before he pressed play on the song he’d chosen.

A deep, obviously sensual song began playing through the dance studio, making the maknae roll his eyes.

Shrugging off his initial hesitance, Jungkook decided to put on a show for his hyungs. He started off with grinding on the floor like they did in their Blood Sweat & Tears dance, followed by numerous hip thrusts and body rolls incorporated into smooth choreography.

Hoseok and Seokjin were hollering and whistling, hyping the maknae up in his performance. Jimin could only think about how ARMYs would die if they had the chance to see this dance, even if it was only a joke.

Jungkook finished his performance, panting and sweating from the workout.

“Dang, JK!” Seokjin exclaimed, bringing a nice, cool water bottle over to the maknae.

As the youngest chugged the drink thankfully, Hoseok waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Is that the dance you want to perform for Namjoon?”

Jungkook promptly choked on the water.

Jimin snorted, “Do you think Namjoon would finally figure out Jungkook’s feelings for him if he did?”

“W-What?”

The new voice startled the four of them, all turning towards the door to the dance studio, where none other than Kim Namjoon himself stood. He had wide eyes and his jaw dropped slightly, blush creeping up his cheeks.

Jungkook’s heart fell to his stomach. Had his hyung seen what he’d just done? Had he heard what the others said? Judging by the look on his face, yes, yes he did.

Everything was silent in the normally chaotic dance studio, Namjoon trying to process the information he’d just been given, and the other three trying to find a way to explain what they’d just accidentally revealed.

Jungkook’s mouth felt dry and full of cotton, his heartbeat the only thing he could really hear pounding in his ears.

The maknae tore out the back door to the studio before any of them could even think to stop him. He ran through the company hallways until he reached the front door and then he ran some more.

Namjoon knew. Namjoon knew.

Despite the fact that Jungkook wanted his hyung to know, now that it was happening it was all just too much for him to handle.

What if his hyung hated him now or was disgusted with him? Jungkook felt his stomach twist into knots at the thought.

Jungkook ran and ran and ran. His lungs were aching for breath and vision was blurry from his tears, but he never once stopped.

Then he internally gasped. What if everything was ruined now, and the whole band was going to have to break up because of his stupid feelings? Jungkook would never, could never let that happen, but to keep the peace between the other members he’d probably have to leave the group himself.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!”

The maknae vaguely heard the voice calling after him as he ran, but it was overrun by his self-deprecating thoughts.

The sound of car horns honking loudly brought him back to the present and Jungkook realized he was in the middle of a road and while other vehicles had managed to stop for him in time, there was one dark-colored car that was heading straight for him.

“Jungkook!”

There was a harsh yank on Jungkook’s arm and he managed to stumble out of the way of the car as it came to a screeching halt. The vehicle would have hit him if he’d stayed in that spot. It wasn’t going fast enough to have killed him, but he definitely would have broken some bones.

The maknae looked around him in a shocked daze that didn’t feel at all like reality. Now safely on the sidewalk, he looked up to see Namjoon standing there with his arms around Jungkook tightly.

“Jungkook, oh my god, that was so close!” Namjoon was rambling under his breath. The man raised his hands to Jungkook’s face and inspected it. “Are you hurt?”

Jungkook shook his head, not being able to find any words in his shocked state.

Taking a deep breath, Namjoon pulled out a black mask matching the one he had on himself and slipped it onto the maknae’s face. “Let’s get you out of here before someone recognizes you. I think we need to talk, Jungkook-ah.”

The two of them took a car back to their dorm because apparently Jungkook had gotten impossibly far in his race to get away from his problems. They didn’t speak while the manager drove them back, but Namjoon held onto Jungkook’s hand firmly.

Jungkook was still so shell-shocked from his almost car accident that everything went by in a haze. The next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch in their dorm with a blanket wrapped around him and a cup of water in his hands.

Namjoon sat down beside him and set a hand on the maknae’s shoulder. “Kook-ah, can you look at me please?”

And Jungkook couldn’t say no to his hyung, had never been able to, so he raised his watery eyes and looked his hyung in the face.

The leader’s expression was concerned but calm. He gave a gentle smile. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so scared when you took off like that...and when that car almost...” he trailed off.

“‘M sorry,” Jungkook croaked, his throat still feeling tight and dry from his panic attack.

Namjoon shook his head, “No...no. You don’t need to apologize. Just...you can’t run away like that when you’re scared. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Jungkook nodded. “Me neither. I’ll try to do better.”

Namjoon sighed and started hesitantly, “So...you have feelings for me?”

The maknae’s breath hitched again and he could feel the panic attack that had settled slightly come back full force. His whole body began shaking with the effort to breathe and his heartbeat was racing in his chest.

“Jungkook! Jungkook, it’s okay! It’s okay!” Namjoon hurried to say. He grabbed the maknae by the arms and tried to get him to look into his eyes. “Don’t panic again, baby, please.”

“D-Don’t hate Kookie, please Daddy!” Jungkook slipped into littlespace without any warning. “’M sorry, ‘m sorry!” he sobbed.

“Daddy could never hate you, baby,” Namjoon replied, desperation in his voice. “I-I love you, Kookie. I’ve loved you for years.”

Jungkook stopped breathing completely for a moment. “W-What?”

Namjoon sighed and hung his head. “I never told anyone and I tried my best to hide it. I never even thought you could love me back.”

Jungkook had so much he wanted to say, needed to say, but for a few minutes, he had to regain control over his breathing. Namjoon helped him by breathing deeply with him and running his hand through his hair soothingly.

“Y-You love K-Kookie?”

The leader smiled shyly, “Yeah, yeah, I do.”

“Daddy loves Kookie,” Jungkook repeated under his breath in awe. Then he broke into an ecstatic grin. “Daddy loves Kookie!”

Namjoon couldn’t help but smile back at the younger’s cuteness. “That’s right, baby.”

Jungkook scooted over until he was seated in the older man’s lap. “Kookie loves Daddy.”

Namjoon let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as a breathy chuckle. “That’s so good to hear, baby.”

A light bulb went off in Jungkook’s head and he looked at the older with a shy blush on his cheeks. “K-Kookie made something for you.”

The maknae jumped off of Namjoon’s lap and ran down the hallway to his room. When he returned, he had a large piece of paper in his hand and was pulling his lip nervously between his teeth. Then he shut his eyes tightly and thrust the arm with the paper out in Namjoon’s direction.

Trying to fight a coo at the younger’s cute shyness, Namjoon took the paper and turned it over to see what it was. His breath hitched in his throat.

It was a picture drawn in crayons, obviously done by Little Kookie as he didn’t have as much artistic talent as his older headspace. There were two figures in the middle that appeared to be holding each other with smiles on their faces. Above their heads in speech bubbles were the words ‘I love you’. Behind the two figures were five others who were clapping happily.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the two figures in front were Namjoon and Jungkook, and the others in the back were their best friends. The maknae had portrayed all of their hair colors and styles pretty accurately. The picture was so sweet that the leader actually had to fight back some tears.

“This...this is beautiful, baby.” he managed out.

Jungkook finally reopened his eyes and looked at the older man with hope. “Really? Daddy likes it?”

Namjoon chuckled and reached out to run a hand through the maknae’s hair before pulling him back into his lap. “Daddy loves it.” Then he furrowed his brow in thought. “When did you draw this, though? I’m usually the one with you when you’re in littlespace.”

“TaeTae-hyungie and Jinnie-hyungie took care of Kookie when Daddy was at work one day,” the younger explained. “Kookie was really sad and he missed Daddy lots, so TaeTae said Kookie should draw a picture for Daddy.”

“Well, it’s a wonderful picture,” Namjoon praised, kissing the younger’s cheeks in thanks.

The two of them sat curled up together on the couch for hours. Namjoon rubbed the maknae’s back soothingly and the younger tucked his head comfortably into his hyung’s neck.

At one point, Namjoon got up and retrieved Jungkook’s Iron Man blanket and red pacifier from the bedroom. When he returned to the living room with them, the younger’s eyes widened and he made grabby hands at them.

They settled together again and Namjoon turned on Spongebob Squarepants on the television, though neither of them were really giving their full attention to it.

Their peace was disturbed when the front door burst open and their five bandmates piled into the room. The sudden noise startled both of them, Jungkook’s pacifier falling from his mouth as it opened in surprise.

Seokjin was the first one to get to them, his eyes wide with worry. “Sejin-hyung just told us about Kookie’s almost accident. Is everything okay?”

Hoseok was next to him in a second. “Oh god, Kookie, I’m so sorry I told your secret and caused you to run off like that. I didn’t mean to, I swear!”

“Kookie’s okay,” Jungkook answered genuinely. “And Hobi-hyungie don’t have to say sorry, Kookie isn’t mad or sad about it.”

Hoseok looked relieved and gave the maknae a kiss on the top of his head.

“So...” Jimin looked between the two on the couch pointedly. “Did you guys talk at all?”

Jungkook broke into a big bunny grin that had them all clutching at their hearts in fondness. “Yeah! Guess what Jiminie-hyungie? Daddy loves Kookie too!”

Everyone looked at their leader with happy, slightly surprised eyes. “Really?” Jimin questioned with a smile.

Namjoon felt his face and neck flush sheepishly. “Yeah, I’ve loved Kookie for a few years but I had no idea he loved me too. Did...did all of you know how Jungkook felt about me?”

The five of them nodded.

“We’ve known for a few years,” Taehyung admitted.

“Yeah, it didn’t take us very long to figure it out,” Yoongi added. “We didn’t know how you felt, though.”

Namjoon sighed, “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“IQ 148 my ass.”

“We been knew.”

“Hey!” Jungkook scowled adorably at his hyungs. “Don’t be mean to Daddy! And don’t say bad words!”

Almost immediately, all of them mimicked zipping their lips closed and throwing away the key. Damn, all of BTS really were whipped for their maknae.

“Alright, now that that’s out of the way,” Yoongi stepped up closer and put his hands on his hips, expression serious. “We need to talk about Jungkook running off today and almost getting hit by a car.”

Jungkook groaned, ashamed, and buried his head back into Namjoon’s neck. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk about this again.

The leader started rubbing his back again and turned to the others. “Leave him be. I already spoke with him about it and he said he’ll try not to run next time. I think the car almost hitting him was a big reality check.”

Jungkook smiled into the older man’s neck as he heard his other hyungs grumbling and pouting. Namjoon always knew exactly what he needed.

Jungkook loved Namjoon so much.

And Namjoon loved Jungkook just as much back.

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A/N: Phew, that’s the end. More angst than I originally planned for but oh well. Let me know what you thought of it!!

[diosaadivina]

You & I : A Tokka Short

(Legend of Korra, Book One, Yakone’s trial flashback)

They’d done it. Yakone was finally under arrest and his day in court was set in just a few days. 

“I’ve beaten every trumped-up judge you yahoos have brought against me... and I’ll beat this one too.” Toph knew not this time, this time would be different because he, Sokka, was back as head councilman. 

After an active and exciting arrest, Toph spends the rest of her night at her apartment with Lin. Having their usual tea after dinner, they acknowledge familiar footsteps at the door with their seismic sense. 

“Sokka’s coming!” Toph abruptly states as she sits up excitingly from her relaxed state. She couldn’t help but smile as she remembered the exact reaction she experienced all those years ago during the war. When she realized just how complete and at ease she felt with Sokka’s presence, and how incomplete she felt without it. 

Now, at forty years old, she still gets as excited as she did when she was twelve.

“How are my two favorite earthbenders this evening?” Sokka asks as he makes his way in the room. Lin runs straight into his arms while Toph makes her way to greet him the same. Despite secretly living together for a year now, this was still one of her favorite moments of the day. 

“Mom finally did it!” Lin states as Sokka picks her up, “Her and uncle Aang finally caught the bad guy!!” Despite already knowing the good news, Sokka couldn’t help but join in on Lin’s excitement. 

Toph reassures, “Remember Lin we just arrested him, once he’s proven guilty in court, then this nightmare will really be over.”

Sokka knew the day would come when justice would be served, and he was ecstatic to be the one to determine Yakone’s fate in just a few days. He places his hand onto the small of Toph’s back and moves it gently up and down, a gesture of reassurance that he will make life in Republic City for everyone - and especially for themselves - much more peaceful. They have hidden their relationship from the public for over a year, awaiting for this moment that will bring more ease into their lives. 

After tucking Lin into bed, Toph makes her way into the bedroom and finds Sokka making his way to the bed. 

“There’s something I need to tell you Sokka...” Toph exhales as she sits down on his side of the bed, she feels her own heartbeat begin to accelerate. Sokka notices and distinguishes her facial expression right away, she’s worried. 

“Toph, if this is about the upcoming trial, you have nothing to worry about..” He instantly grabs her hand closest to him, “You and I both know how hard you’ve been busting it out there trying to stop him and his plays-” 

“It’s not about the trial or about Yakone...” Toph lets out a sigh and she takes in a deep breath. Sokka, now concerned, instantly reaches for her other hand, uncertain of what could be worrying her. 

Toph’s heart is practically beating out from her robe as she breathes out, “Sokka, I-I’m pregnant.”

Sokka felt his heart stop for a second, which felt more like an hour. She’s preg- pregnant?...we- we’re pregnant? Toph breaks the silence as she literally only feels his heart rate begin to increase, not feeling the butterflies in his stomach and happiness consuming him internally. 

“I know this is horrible timing, with current events and Republic City’s most important trial coming up...I just couldn’t go on without telling you.” She professes, her voice begins to shake, “I-I’m so sorry this happened Sokka, I-” Sokka cuts her off by bringing her into his arms, holding tightly onto her. He is filled with so much emotion that his tears begin to stream down his face and onto her shoulders. 

“Don’t, you dare apologize..” Sokka murmurs. Toph, now feeing and understanding his reaction, closes her eyes as she lets out a sigh as well as her own tears of happiness. Moments pass as they’re still tightly concealed in eachothers arms, taking in this moment together. A baby, they simultaneously thought to themselves. In times of uncertainty, they somehow knew that everything was going to be alright because they had eachother.

(Day of Yakone’s trial)

Toph and Sokka secretly meet in his office before making their way into the courtroom. 

“I can’t believe we’ve made it here, together...” Sokka says as they holds hands. “All this time we, especially you, have been trying to put Yakone in his place. Now I am here to ensure that justice is done and that Republic City sleeps soundly from now on. Not to mention, that we move onto this new chapter of our lives in peace.” Sokka places his hand onto Toph’s still flat stomach, trying to assure her and their unborn child, safety. 

“I think you should know by now that you and I make a great team Sokka.” Toph affirms as she gently squeezes his hands. 

“You’re right, history has shown that you and I - are invincible..” He can’t help but recall all those years ago when they were able to stop those fleet of firenation airships. “...I know I am invincible, as long as I am with you.” 

Toph brings herself into his arms, “Must you have to be extra mushy before we  step out to probably the most important moment of our careers? Also, it doesn't help that I am more emotional these days.” She says as she tries to not tear up. She raises her head up to him and Sokka places his hand onto her cheek, “But I dont care, I cant wait to hear you kill it out there, councilman. And I can’t wait for us to live our lives.”

“Me too..” Sokka leans down and gently places a kiss onto her forehead, “Now lets go and serve some justice!” 

“Councilman Sokka will now deliver the verdict.”

Sokka opens his eyes and lets out a breath, “In my years, I’ve encountered people born with rare and unique bending abilities. I once bested a man with my trusty boomerang who was able to firebend, with his mind...” Despite mentioning another unique bender or bending ability, he finds the moment to praise his favorite unique bender of all time. “...Why, even metalbending was considered impossible for all of history - until our esteemed Cheif of Police, Toph Beifong, single-handedly developed the skill....” Toph can’t help but enjoy the spotlight for a moment as never gets tired of Sokka showing his admiration of her abilities, it was their thing. “...The overwhelming amount of testimonial evidence has convinced this council that Yakone is one of these unique benders and he’s exploited his ability to commit these heinus crimes... We find Yakone, guilty of all charges and sentence him to life in prison.” As soon as Sokka slams the gavel, he can’t help but feel proud of himself by his improvement in public speaking. Finally, it was over. Yakone had lost and this nightmare was over, or so they thought. 

It all happened so fast. Before the next steps could be taken, Yakone had unleashed his sinister ability of mind-controlled bloodbending. With Sokka naturally being his first target, it took a moment before the room was able to comprehend what was unfolding in front of them. Toph felt her heart stop when she felt Sokka’s desperation, him being succumbed to Yakone’s evil power. She’s never witnessed Sokka in this state before or any bloodbending in person for that matter. Once she caught onto what was going on and that the entire council was now victimized, she tried to stop him but all it took was one look from him for her to feel the wrath of his power. 

NO! Sokka yelled to himself in his head as he watched this nightmare unfold in front of his eyes. Toph! She’s never experienced this before..., he thought to himself. He was so sure she would have never go through this horror, ever. And now that she was, in this malicious way, he felt so helpless. I- I need to do something. His first instinct was to always protect her when she was at her most vulnerable, and now that she was, he couldn’t do anything but watch. 

This- this can’t be happening right now. I really... hate this... Toph barley thinks to herself. No! I- I can’t let him free, she says in her head as she realizes his plan. Then, in an instant, she becomes completely blind. Yakone progressed his control over Toph by making her reach for the keys to his escape and bringing her towards him, effortlessly. Toph recalls never feeling this scared since her last traumatic experience hanging on the side of the airship all those years ago. At the very least, she had Sokka and his words to prep her for what was to come, he was her sight in that moment. Here, she didn’t know what to expect, her fate was literally in the hands of Yakone. That wasn’t even the scariest and worst part of all this, she was no longer fearing for herself but for someone else.

The baby!! Sokka thinks to himself. His strife amplified immensely as the thought of his unborn child came to his head. His heart felt like it was slowly being ripped out in front of him as he watched the monster bring Toph towards him. No no no, please- the baby...let them go NOW!! He can only manage to say in his head. As soon as Yakone sets himself free, he proceeds to knock out nearly everyone in the courtroom. Sokka really felt his heart stop as he literally saw his life flash in front of his eyes and collapse onto the ground - unconscious. 

He knew that him and Aang would be the last ones standing due to their experience with bloodbending decades ago. Yet, his extra time didn’t last long as he began to feel himself slowly fade away. His last image before falling unconscious was exchanging a look with Aang then, onto his heart, laying out cold- in front of him on the floor.

Moments passed until Sokka regained consciousness, he was the first one awake. Instinctively, he ran towards Toph who was still knocked out on the ground. He quickly took her into his arms and couldn’t help but search for a pulse. He didn’t want to imagine the worse, but from what he witnessed, she took it the hardest. Despite being one of the strongest person he knows, he didn’t know how her body would have responded - especially since she was pregnant. His hand moves towards her lower abdomen, hoping that their unborn child was unharmed. He can’t ignore the immense guilt beginning to consume him. 

A few more moments pass and Toph begins to wake. Sokka watches as she slowly opens her eyes and moves her hands to where Sokka has his placed. Toph seems to hold her breath but lets out a relieved sigh as she places her hand there. Sokka seems to read her expression clear as day, and they were okay. 

“The baby is okay, I can feel it’s heartbeat..” Toph reassures to Sokka, she seems to have read his mind. “Toph-...” Sokka can’t seem to put his words together, he was still trying to recover from this scare. Toph reaches and touches his face, “I’m okay Sokka, we’re okay. Man, that really is the worst feeling in the world.” He brings her into a tight hug and whispers, “I love you.”

Toph answers, “I love you Sokka.” In that moment she didn’t think about where Yakone was, Aang was gone too and she knew Aang well enough to know that he’d for sure stop him. She only cared that the life growing inside of her was still there, as well as Sokka’s and her own well-being. 

Sokka says into her ear, “See? I told you we’re invincible.” Toph smiles and responds, “We are, together.”

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 17

“Holla, Emily Kane. Sure is nice to finally meet the person who keeps breaking through our security system.”

Despite the initial surprise, the woman quickly shook her head, gaining her bearings back. “And you must be Julian Cyan Florès.” She answered back.

“Alright, I’m gonna have to stop you right there chica- it’s just Florès, J.C. if you’re a friend. And if you were trying to be intimidating by using my full name: that is nowhere long enough to be my actual name.” Florès informed her, shaking his head. “Anyway, did you guys know the military thinks you guys are Monarch agents in disguise?”

“What?” The woman on the screen- Emily Kane- asked incredulously. “Well that would explain why no one has come after us- wait a minute, did you just- !?”

“Expose the existence of your group to the military and blow the cover you guys didn’t even know you had?” Florès asked, before smirking. “Sure did, chica.”

Serizawa blinked, before turning toward the younger man. “How did you do that?”

“Serizawa, I’m the one keeping the firewall so solid.” Florès told him, really looking like he wanted to deadpan but restraining himself. “I know every single attempt to breach it, failed and successful alike. By the way,” The younger man turned back to the screen, brows furrowed. “Pretty smart to hack the cameras the one moment I’m not looking at a screen. Too bad the footage you got is basically useless now.”

Kane sighed. “What do you want from me, Florès? And don’t try anything sneaky, I know what you’re capable of.”

“And you think I don’t know about what you’re capable of, Emmy?” Florès started, his teeth flashing almost menacingly as he smiled. “You’re twenty-six years old, an orphan, and you got yourself a master in bioengineering with a minor in programming two years ago. You live alone with three cats- that’s sad- and the reason you decided to join the Titan Liberation Front is because Jonah is the only one who didn’t dismiss your talents because you’re a young black woman in field dominated by white male.”

She seemed surprised at that. “How do you know all that!?”

“Oh, idle snooping around in Jonah’s files. Dude needs a better firewall, and to trust his employees enough to not collect every single bit of info on them: official address, names of loved ones, birthplace, social security number-”

“Florès, we get it. You snoop around.” Emma started, getting up from behind her desk with her husband not far behind her. Until the Ghidorah fiasco was resolved, Monarch had allowed her to stay and help, and this was, in fact, what the earlier argument between Monarch’s head-scientists and the military had started about. “What I want to know is what the Titan Liberation Front thinks it’s doing.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kane asked. “We’re saving the world.”

“By releasing the Titans- that doesn’t make sense!” Mark retorqued back, before Emma put a hand on his shoulder.

“Actually, it... does.” She started. “As impossible as it may seems. You know how the planet is slowly being cooked by pollution?” He nodded. “A very possible theory here at Monarch is that the Titans can fix it.”

“Indeed.” Kane started back, taking a deep breath. “Humans... w-we’re a sickness. An infection on the planet. But like all organisms, the planet has unleashed a fever to kill it’s infection. It’s rightful rulers. The Titans.”

“Is that what you actually think, or is that what Alan ‘Eco-fascism is my middle name’ Jonah fed you so he could get you to abandon your ideals and work for him?”

“Florès.“ Serizawa admonished before turning toward the screen.

“Jonah made me see the truth.” Kane snapped back. “If the human infection continues to spread, the planet will perish, and everyone with it. Unless we let the Titans do what they must do.”

“And what will be left then!?” Mark exclaimed. “A dead, charred world overrun by warring giants-”

“No, actually.” Kane answered, shaking her head. “The Titans- they emit radiations that keeps the planet going. It’d be more like a land buried under the ashes of a volcano bringing life back to the land. And the survivors will be able to reap the rewards.”

“This is a dangerous path.” Serizawa hissed. “You’re all messing with forces beyond our comprehension- gambling with the life of millions!”

“And what are you gambling with?” Kane answered back. “Monarch is on the verge of being overtaken by the military, and all the resources you’ve dedicated to merely studying the Titans will be used to enslave them, destroy them, use them as weapons- if that happens, the planet will die!”

“The planet will die if Ghidorah is allowed to do as he pleases!” Graham started, visibly at the end of her patience. “They’re not from Earth! They are hostile Titans from outer space, who have always been malevolent, and your group forced one of our own to free them!”

“I understand where your intentions come from, miss Kane- I used to think similarly when I first joined Monarch.” Emma started. “But if we let this happen, there will be no going back. Tons of lives will be lost, and what will be left will be plunged into chaos. And that’s only with what we know about Earth’s Titans: Ghidorah isn’t part of the natural order, and they have the potential to disrupt it severely, if not destroy it beyond repair. Do you really want to to risk so much just for a slight chance of the planet healing?”

“... If that’s what it takes, yes.” Kane rubbed her eyes. “I suggest you all take refuge. We know Monarch has built bunkers in case of a mass extinction event caused by the Titans. I suggest you find them before Ghidorah comes out hiding.” Before anyone could say anything, she cut communication, plunging the room into a consterned silence.

You could hear a mutter of “That bitch.” from Dr. Chen, 

“Well,” Stenz started. “I’m certainly surprised her message idn’t resonate with you people-”

“You. Shut .Up.” Florès hissed, glaring at a bewildered Stenz through the screen. “As far as I’m concerned, Ghidorah being free is your fault, and I don’t want to hear you tell us how Monarch should do their job, or that they have any affiliations with those madmen from the T.L.F., ever again, got it!? If you do, you’re next on the list of people I have to do some... idle snooping around about.”

“... Got it.” The admiral closed the screen shortly afterwards, a sigh of relief coming from almost everyone at this.

“We need to find a way...” Serizawa muttered under his breath, before turning toward the programmer. “Florès? I’m going to ignore the fact that I should probably fire you for cybercrimes on two conditions: find as much information as you can on the Titan Liberation Front, and use it to make their life a living hell.”

Florès smiled. “Of course, Serizawa.”

“Everyone else: get to work. We have to start preparing for the worst.”

-

Alright, Rodan had been back for a while now. He just needed to walk up to him, give him that stupid stone, and walk away. It was simple. A child could do it. Too bad the literal hundreds of nightmare scenarios going through Ni’s head simultaneously prevented him from moving from the rock he was hiding behind.

He took a peak, looking at Rodan. The bird was currently eating a fish, facing away from Ni’s point of view. He also seemed to be struggling with it, for some reason. Ni took a deep breath through his nose to steady himself, before getting up and walking up to him. “Rodan.”

“Gah!” Rodan exclaimed, turning toward Ni, before deflating a bit. “Don’t scare me like that.” He then turned back toward his fish, taking another bite and pulling a face as he did so. “Urgh, rotting flesh is the worst...”

Ni raised an eyebrow. “What do you usually eat?”

“Roots, nuts, insects, fish but prefer when it’s fresh... sometimes, humans would leave me grain in offerings, always a nice surprise.” Rodan answered. “... kind of palled to when they would kill one of their own in front of me as spectacle, but hey.”

“You don’t know what a sacrifice is?” When Rodan shook his head, Ni sat down. “It’s... an gift mortals give to gods by destroying or abandoning something dear, often the life of the sacrificed.”

“... yeah, sounds like something Quetz would’ve liked.” Rodan muttered, before shaking his head. “Don’t they know I’m not a god? I just... live here.”

“You’re bigger than them, at least one element obeys you, and you pretty much decide whether or not this island explodes.” Ni deadpanned. “To them, that’s enough.”

“... Uh.” Rodan took another bite of his fish, cringing as the flesh hit his tongue.

“If you don’t like it, stop eating it.”

“I can’t just stop eating it, I can’t find any other kind of food around here!”

Find food he can eat to get on his good side. Got it. “Why not just absorb energy, then?” Rodan seemed to freeze at that. “Well?”

“... can’t absorb any if I’m not in lava...” He finally muttered. As Ni opened his mouth, he snapped. “And no, I can’t just live the rest of my life in lava. Sure, it’s warm and I don’t risk ever being hurt in it again, but... I’m the only thing it doesn’t burn to the touch. I can’t see. I can’t hear. I can’t talk with anyone. I’m... I’m all alone.” Rodan shook his head. “That’s no way to live, so I try to stay out of it.”

“... San could teach you how to do it.” Ni finally said, Rodan turning toward him with a perplexed expression. “He’s the more spiritual out of the three of us... and he’s better with words than me... since we’re talking about San-” Ni took a hold of Rodan’s wrist, the bird screeching before realizing he was just putting something in his hand. “He found this, and wanted me to give it to you.”

There, it was done.

Ni closely watched Rodan as he reacted to the gift. After a few seconds of watching him, bewildered, he actually looked at the rock on his hand. After a few seconds of confusion, Rodan’s eyes widened, and his face turned a bright orange. “I- uh- erm-” He put the stone down, doing a strange gesture with his hands as he looked away.

Ni frowned at that. He understood, logically, that Rodan’s blood was lava-like from their fight. But why was it coming to his face? Was he overheating for some reason? Was he dying!? Was that why he couldn’t speak!? No no no no no, they needed him alive to get out of here.

Ni picked up Rodan, the bird squawking as he dragged him up. “I- what are you-” He started trashing in his grip as he realized that he was bringing him to the water, clutching at him with both set of claws. “No, NO- DO NOT FUCKING THROW ME INTO THE WATER-”

“You’re overheating, you need to get cooled down-”

“Overheat- I’M THE FIRE GUARDIAN, I CAN’T OVERHEAT!!!” Rodan finally screeched, freeing himself from Ni’s hold.

Ni’s only reaction was to frown. “Then why was your face turning red?”

“I was flustered! That happens!” Rodan exclaimed. “What, have you never seen someone flustered before!?”

“I have not.” Rodan blinked at Ni, before sighing. 

“I’m fine. Your gift just... caught me off-guard.” There was a heavy silence, before Rodan broke it. “Do you have something I could use to wear it, like a thin rope or something?” 

“No... wait.” Ni grabbed a few of his hair, tugging them out and braiding them together in a thin rope. “Hand me the stone, sit down, and turn around.” Rodan quickly followed the instructions, Ni wrapping the cord around the stone to make a necklace. “There we go... What was that thing you did with your hands earlier? He asked as he tied the cord around Rodan’s neck.

“Oh, sign words. I was saying thank you.” He answered. Ni made an inquisitive noise. “Basically, you speak with your hands instead of your mouth. Mothra taught me some time after I became the Fire Guardian because my transformation wasn’t finished and I couldn’t speak. I think the monkeys are the ones who invented it to talk with their worshippers.”

“I see... would you... mind teaching me?” Ni asked, trying to make his voice seem softer.

Rodan blinked, before nodding, turning toward Ni and sitting down. “Alright. Let’s start with the basics...”

[crazycookiemaniac]

Omg why are you losing so many followers youve been drawing gay shit for forever??? (Or maybe i as a gay was just interpreting it that way)

Because I literally spammed people every day for one week lmao. And also, a lot of people follow others for specific content. The moment I stop drawing that exact thing they followed me for, they unfollow me. There are also accounts that follow just to make you follow them & if you don’t, they unfollow you after a while. There’s people who followed me for haikyuu & weren’t interested in BC content, and there were people who followed me for BC content but got showered in gay art instead and that was not their cuppa tea. 

But mostly, i start appearing on people’s feed the more I post. So having me post incessantly for one week made me show up on feeds that I hadn’t shown up for  a good while, so there were probably people who forgot they had followed me in the first place & me posting was a reminder to unfollow.

Truthfully, follower counts are dumb. Yes, it is important for you to have a high follower count for you to get attention, but the amount of people actually following you if you don’t have a consistent art style & rarely ever post something with different vibes than your usual ones, is equal or less than 1% of your total amount of following.

My instagram tells me I have 43k. I do not have 43k people following me. I’ve had 43k that once saw my account & pressed the follow button, but their feeds are filled up with other people’s accs that interest them more than mine (as well as my own feed does not show all the content of the 200+ something people I follow, unless I scroll down till the depths of hell to find every single post on that day and then do so on the next day as well).

Essentially, 95% of your followers are there because of content. They want to see what entertains them. Most of them don’t care about the artist and don’t interact with them at all. Many of them are scared to, given the high follower count. Social media & big accounts make people forget that there are other, real, living & breathing people that are behind them all.

So, to many, I was just a random artist they found and “lol”ed at one of my comics & pressed follow without thinking about it. Most of them don’t go to my account and see all other art I’ve posted to see if they actually like what I do, or me as a person and as an artist at all.

People who don’t know this get really discouraged when they don’t earn a lot of followers, or when they lose a lot (like I did). And some people think you gotta have hundreds of thousands to be famous. I’ve seen accs going around that paid for ads, that had over 150k followers and less than 1k likes on their posts.

Truly famous, loved, growing and/or steady accounts have an amount of likes per post proportional to their follower count. For example, if someone has 150k followers, most of their posts will vary from 20k to 100k likes.

When I was growing my account because I hopped in the fandom bandwagon and stupid little me didn’t know that would only make me crash later, I had like 20~30k and some of my posts reached more than 20k likes (because people liked my stupid comics). Nowadays, I’m not part of the fandom that made me grow anymore. I’m part of a very underrated one (Black Clover), as well a I am drawing a very underrated ship (LuGna) that above all else is getting hated on. I have everything against me in this, so it’s no wonder I lost so many followers.

They didn’t wanna see gay art. They didn’t wanna see Black Clover. They didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Not everyone paid attention or kept up with my warnings. Despite me explaining multiple times in multiple posts what the Thunder Flames project was about, a lot of people still didn’t know what I was doing that for.

The thing about being a big follower count is that, unless you’re actually loved for what you do (and to do that, once again, I need to emphasize that you need to keep a steady rhythm, a steady vibe, a steady you. Because people follow you for your first impression on them, and you gotta keep up to that first impression if you wanna keep your followers.

I’m unsteady. One look at my gallery and you’ll see how disorganized everything is. Oh, lookit, a 1 min speedpaint of a random drawing I did on an old piece of paper! And right on the left there’s a stupid random comic I did–on the right there’s this super detailed, shaded drawing I’ve done that actually looks terrible to me and I will 100% archive it later, and then there’s B&W mixed with gray shaded, flat colored and fully shaded characters of different fandoms + OCs from commissions and whatever else. 

The thing is, I made my follower count based on a fandom, and now that I’m not there most of that follower count does not have me on their feed. And most of them do not want me on their feed. Now, I’m trying to build a follower count for who I am as an artist, because the few people who have actually stayed and followed me throughout the years know how inconsistent I am in terms of art style, fandoms and everything else.

A solution to this would me either keep creating/posting the same thing all over again (just in different patterns), or creating original content (which I do plan on doing at some point). But for now? Since my follower count does absolutely not reflect on how many people actually like me and/or my art, I’m going to be as chaotic as fucking ever and do whatever the fuck I want.

So yes, I do find it comical that I lost 1k followers over this and am not fazed in the very least, especially because I literally foreshadowed losing 1k and hit the fucking jackpot.

The only reason I’m talking about this at all is because 1- it’s impossible not to notice my follower count decreasing, especially because every new 1k I thank people publicly through stories; 2- some people were actually worried I was upset over it and I have to 3- show that I am not, while simultaneously trying to show people that just because you’re losing followers doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you want to create content to please people. It doesn’t mean you should be upset, and it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is bad or wrong.

It means you’re fucking renewing your followers & you’ll now grow for what you’re trying to grow for, bitch. That’s what it’s all about.

Obviously, people do take a great risk doing this. I am taking a great risk doing this. I could’ve lost 5k, I could’ve lost 10k. But I only lost 1k! And that’s because I believe in the project I worked on; I knew there were people out there who enjoyed what I was doing and it’s on them that I was focused on. On the people who supported me AND my art, not just that one single funny comic post I did 3 years ago.

This answer is 100% a lot longer than what you could’ve possibly expected for and I am typing this while being awake for more than 24h so I’m sure that I’ve repeated myself a lot and that there are a lotta typos or w/e and I apologize for that!! But I’m too lazy to go back to read everything over & turn this into a neat post & I’m pretty sure I could answer your question in the first paragraph.

Oh and also. Yes. Yes I have been drawing gay shit ever since I’ve become an artist because I’m so fucking pissed at the lack of canon gay content in a way that it’s depicted as a normal fucking romantic couple instead of having eeeeeeeeveryone point their finger to the gay couple and scream “HEY THAT’S GAY!!! THIS CAN’T BE PART OF THIS VERY HETEROSEXUAL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS OBVIOUSLY HETEROSEXUAL EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE EVER SAID THAT EXPLICITLY BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE CREATORS ARE EITHER HETEROSEXUAL OR TOO AFRAID TO LOSE AUDIENCE IF THEY TREAT GAY PEOPLE AS NORMAL PEOPLE!??!! WHAT SORT OF ABSURD NONSENSE IS THAT??!! GAY PEOPLE AREN’T NORMAL!! THEY’RE GAY AND THEY SHOULD HAVE A GAY SHOW JUST FOR THEM IF THEY WANNA GET SCREENTIME” and yadda yadda yadda.

I’m tired of this bullshit. Ever since I was an artist I’ve been rooting for gay ships in shonen manga while knowing they would never happen just because they were gay, and now that we are in our Blessed-By-Satan, Pandemic-Chaotic, What-The-Fuck-Is-Going-On, We-Don’t-Know-If-We-Wanna-Go-Back-Or-To-The-Future-Or-Just-IDK-Fucking-Die year 2020, in which the LGBT community is thriving and being louder than ever to fight for our rights, Me, in my twenty four years of fucking age, having gone through several fucking disappointments ONLY regarding this matter, am sitting here on my ass, hopeful as all galactic, glittery shit that for some fucking reason, my new OTP formed by very underrated characters from this very underrated franchise in the southern and western communities, becomes canon because my stupid eyes can see chemistry between them even though those stupid haters’ can’t. But that’s because they’re stupid and homophobic, and they really should just shut the fuck up. I don’t wanna dream, I want to believe. Let a bitch pray in peace.

But even if I’m getting ready for disappointment, I’m gonna make this project happen and I’m gonna have a shit ton of artbooks from this Thunder Flames project inside my fucking garage if no one wants to buy them. But I am going to invest a shit ton of money in it and I am going to have these artbooks come to life. Because I am spiteful and petty and homophobes should shut the fuck up, and I wanna do what I wanna do bc as an independent artist, I’m building my future with my own two, very toned and buff by now from all the drawing I did, hands. 

God fucking damn it.

Jesus christ I’m just rambling at this point, I’m so sorry. If anyone ever reads this out of context people are going to be so confused.

But that’s fine. They won’t. You know why? Cuz I got almost 11k followers here on tumblr but less than 0.5% gives a shit that I’m here, so I’m safe.

Have a nice day, drink your water and fuck homophobes. Peace

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

Yeah... it really is not ideal that they did that.  I’m sure they didn’t mean to insinuate that victims of abuse should get back with their abusers at the first sign of improvement, because they’ve been really good about saying the opposite up until this point, but that IS the message they’re sending.  The fact that very few fans seem to be acknowledging it is worse.  I honestly thought we were better than that.  This show has sent so many positive messages that are great for kids to hear, but this just isn’t one of them.

Tangent here, but I am deadly serious when I say that people are making the wrong parallels when they compare She-Ra to Revolutionary Girl Utena.   She-Ra doesn’t deserve to make Utena references when it ends with the Anthy character (Adora) getting back with the Akio analogue (Catra).  

In fact, the only thing people are sort of getting right with these comparisons is that Adora and Anthy, despite their surface-level distinctions, are very similar characters.  Let’s take a look:

1. Incredibly powerful: Adora is a capable badass who also claims the mantle of She-Ra, and Anthy is basically a god (or the closest thing to)

2. Conned into believing they are worthless/powerless or their power isn’t really theirs to claim: Adora thinks all her value comes from being a hero and specifically being the weapon that is She-Ra, and she eventually has to learn that she is not a weapon or a tool and that her worth comes from within.  She has to learn to find her power to win.  Anthy is beaten down and essentially coerced into using her powers as “The Witch” to help Akio and participate in her own imprisonment.  Utena doesn’t so much help her to recognize her power, but she makes Anthy remember that she has value and power separate from Akio and her role as Witch.

3. Had a loved one they tried to protect but couldn’t due to circumstances out of their control: Baby Adora could never have prevented Shadow Weaver from abusing Catra.  1) a literal child (who is also being abused) cannot be expected to stop an adult authority figure from doing anything, let alone abuse another child, and 2) literal children are NOT responsible for the actions of another child and certainly not the actions of an adult authority figure.  But she gets blamed for not protecting Catra anyway. (Remember all the bullshit hot takes from around season 1 doing this very thing).  Anthy tried to save Dios by hiding him (which failed), and she sacrificed herself to the Mob to save him (he died anyway).  There was nothing she could have realistically done, even with all her power, to save him from the World.  Akio blames her for it anyway and the Swords of Human Hatred back up his accusations.

3. Face a toxic combination of love and hatred from the person they were unable to protect: It’s pretty obvious that Catra’s roiling emotions about Adora are both positive and negative.  The pain she felt when Adora defected is genuine.  She really felt like she lost the one person that mattered to her (even though that isn’t true and it was her choice to stay with the Horde while Adora begged her to leave, making it Catra who actually left Adora when you stop to think about it).  That love turned to resentment and hatred, driving Catra to torture Adora at every opportunity and blame Adora for her various wrongdoings.  It’s not easy to discern entirely what Akio is angry about, but it can be reasonably assumed that he is angry with Anthy for “making him Not The Prince anymore” i.e. “Making Him This Way”.  Anthy “stole him away from the princesses of the world”, which is the same kind of blame as “You broke the world, and it is all your fault!”

4. Have their struggles dismissed and/or misunderstood by people they call friends: If anyone matches up with Utena Tenjou in SPOP, it’s Glimmer.  Glimmer is a girl who wants to be a prince Hero and a leader, but she doesn’t understand what those roles actually entail (see: all of season 4).  She reacts when she sees the physical abuse Adora suffers from Shadow Weaver in the Black Garnet Chamber, just like Utena jumps to defend Anthy whenever she sees someone hit her.  But Glimmer completely fails to either recognize or acknowledge the subtler aspects of Adora’s abuse, and she later dismisses her suspicion of Shadow Weaver as baseless paranoia, which she then proceeds to laugh about.  Utena was naive and failed to notice the obvious signs of Anthy’s abuse by Akio right in front of her, but at least she didn’t do that.

5. Have to find and come into their power on their own: Sure, Adora manages to become She-Ra again to save Catra, but it’s still her decision and willpower that get her there.  Utena helps Anthy to see that she can leave her situation and that she deserves a better life, but it’s Anthy who chooses to leave Akio behind and walk out of Ohtori alone.

Now let’s talk about Catra and Akio.

Catra and Akio aren’t 1 to 1 parallels.  Catra does not appear to be a rapist and a child molester, for one thing.  She doesn’t own a red convertible metaphor for the sins, horrors, and privileges of adulthood.  She’s not a failed heroic archetype who languishes in a timeless, flowery coffin, convincing people to have sex with their siblings.  Her name isn’t a fancy word for Satan.

But other than that, they’re pretty similar.

1. They share a connection with someone who is much more powerful than they are: Adora and Catra are pretty close in skill when they are in the Horde together, but Adora edges her out just slightly.  And when Adora becomes She-Ra, her inherent power blows Catra out of the water.  There could never be a fair fight between them because Adora is a woman-shaped WMD and Catra uses dirty tactics to win confrontations.  Dios/Akio is at first portrayed as having all the power in Ohtori, but an attentive viewer will realize that’s nonsense and it’s really Anthy who has the power, a fact that becomes crystal clear when she ditches him easily at the end of the story.

2. They simultaneously love and hate that person: I don’t think I really have to explain this one.  If you’ve watched both series, you will know exactly what I mean.

3. The relationship they have with this person is both familial and romantic: Look, I’m not going to be That Girl and try to claim that Adora and Catra’s relationship is purely a sisterly one.  That is so clearly untrue even without season 5 that it’s laughable.  But there are definitely familial elements to it.  They were raised by the same woman and they treat each other like siblings do at several points in season 1.  But it’s also clear that they have been harboring burgeoning romantic feelings for each other.  Anthy and Dios are literally blood siblings who acted like siblings when they were kids, and then that relationship was twisted by Akio into this awful thing where they are “”””””lovers”””””””” (blegh) and siblings at the same time.

Catradora is not like that, before you attempt to tell me off.  Like I said, Catra isn’t a rapist, and they aren’t blood-related so it’s not actual incest.  But the underlying dynamic is the same.

4. They can’t stand the idea of that person living without them, and seek to imprison and torment them as a result: There are two main things that Catra wants for most of the show, 1) Adora with her or 2) Adora dead.  She oscillates between these two desires but never progresses beyond them until her heel-turn in season 5.  I’ve written about this before, but she’s the definition of the cliche “If I can’t have her, then no one can”.  Akio is the same.  On some level, he knows that Anthy is capable of leaving him at any time and he can’t stop her, so he tries to prevent that by abusing and manipulating her into thinking, 1) she can’t escape him and 2) it’s her fault that he’s like this so she should stay out of guilt.  Both Catra and Akio also attempt to isolate Adora and Anthy by hurting their support structures (The Princesses and Utena).

5. They seek power and validation with no regard for the consequences: Catra was beaten and diminished for her entire childhood, and Shadow Weaver purposefully praised Adora over her to divide them.  Until Adora left and she was subsequently recognized by Hordak, she had never received validation of her worth.  So, she craves it and seeks it out by doing worse and worse things to please Hordak and Shadow Weaver.  She thinks if she gains enough clout and a high enough rank in the Horde, then no one will be able to hurt her and everyone will recognize her value.  She also associates proving herself with beating Adora.  This drive for power ruins all of her relationships and leaves her at rock bottom rather than the top of the world.  Akio longs for the power he thought he had as Dios (which was really Anthy’s power all along as we see when Utena opens the Rose Gate).  He runs the duels and manipulates the duelists so they will achieve what he can’t and open the way for him to reclaim his divinity, leaving destruction in his wake.

The primary difference between them with this point is that evidence suggests that Akio self-sabotages all his attempts to regain power.  And while Catra also sabotages herself at multiple points, it’s because she’s reckless and foolish, not because she’s deliberately making things harder for herself.  Akio perpetuates a vicious cycle of trying and failing to return to godhood, and Catra perpetuates a cycle of seeking validation from the wrong place/people, inevitably failing to meet impossible standards, and falling right back to where she started.

6. They blame their special person for their own bad decisions: To be clear, Akio is MUCH worse about this than Catra, but they both do it.  Again, this is a point I’m not sure I need to discuss much.  If you’ve seen Utena’s last story arc and you’ve watched the portal universe episode, then you know exactly what I’m referring to.

I’m not sure how I can make this any more obvious.  In the world of She-Ra, Adora is Anthy and Catra is Akio.  If you’ve read this and you somehow disagree, stop living in denial.  We are better than that.

Again, I’m very happy that Catra was redeemed.  I think it should have started in season 4 but that’s beside the point.  I’m so, so happy that she recognized her mistakes and joined the Rebellion.  But they are really acting like it’s a good and reasonable thing for Adora to let Catra back into her life just because Catra is genuinely trying to improve herself for once.  It’s not, or at least not the way they portrayed it.  I could believe it if the two of them parted ways and then reunited years down the road, because then it would be easier to believe that Catra’s change for the better was permanent.  But that’s not what we got.  What we got was just a new problem that’s going to damage this wonderful show in the long run.

[meandnotyou1001]

The second part to my Irondad one-shot (it was a one-shot until it got too long to post in one go). I may have another part later, but it depends.

Ask For Help

An Irondad fanfic. Part 2.

Summary:

Someone needs help and it's not who we're expecting. How are Karen and Friday going to get them the help they need when it's impossible to ignore certain protocols?

Warning: Attempted Suicide. Not a lot of suicidal thoughts, because it’s from someone else’s point of view. If this is going to trigger you, please don’t read. I’d rather you be safe, than have one more reader. Everyone please take care of yourselves and call for help if you need it.

----------------

Scarlet Witch shrieked at as a flaming red hand print appeared on her face, as well as several trickles of blood. Captain America was sprawled on the floor hand cupping his very broken jaw.

"Watch your fucking mouth," Peter snarled darkly. "Mr. Stark is not and has never! been a coward!"

"I'm glad you think that," the doctor replied coolly. "Because he's asking for you and no one detrimental to his health, physical or mental, is coming anywhere near him."

Ms. Potts stepped forward, but flinched as Dr, Cho’s hand stopped her. "I know you're scared and desperate, Pepper, but he’s asking for Peter. Let’s give them a couple of minutes."

Peter didn’t spare a second before he tore through the doors, dashing through the Medbay, and to the room where he heard the familiar heartbeat of his father. Mr. Stark could be as emotionally stunted as he wanted, but after this, Peter refused to be in denial. He would always make sure Mr. Stark knew exactly how much he loved him and how much he needed him, so he would never doubt himself again.

He did slow at the door, however, not wanting to hurt or scare him. Peter knocked, despite the nervous, desperate, anxious energy burning in him, he opened it slowly.

“Pete?” Mr. Stark’s voice sent simultaneous bolts of relief and guilt through him. He was in here, he felt this way, because of him, because of stupid finals.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter greeted hesitantly.

“I’m sorry, Kid. You didn’t need to see that.” His voice was a little raspy, but his demeanor screamed with the mimicry of Mr. Stark’s “Media Smile” as he’d dubbed it..

Peter folded his arms around himself as he stared at his too-pale mentor. He looked so unlike himself, but he was playing it off. Like it was no big deal. Like it was just a little moment of weakness that Peter wasn’t supposed to see. Peter wasn’t sure what to do. Suddenly, he was so unsure of himself. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t cry, he was forcing himself not to. Mr. Stark was the one that needed support! He needed to be taken care of right now! He shouldn’t be putting up a mask just so Peter would feel better...He couldn’t! Not when he now knew!

Do you want it to end up like last time? a voice demanded in his head.

“No,” he hissed out loud, suddenly angry.

If he hadn’t been looking right at him, Peter would have missed the flinch, it could have even been a muscle twitch, but Peter was determined not to think so. He forced away all fears and all doubts, doing what he hoped would be exactly what both of them needed.

He crossed the room in several long strides. Without even caring about personal space (but definitely caring about injury), he wrapped his arms around the older man, and with his superstrength, pulled him off the bed into the tightest hug he could give, without further breaking the man. It was immediately returned.

“No,” he repeated softer, into Tony’s ear. “I don’t care about sorry. I did need to see that. I needed to know and now I do, and now I know just what to say.”

Peter heard the intake of breath, knew Tony was going to start talking. “Let me talk first,” he said softly. “You get to every other time, my turn to be the support.”

There was a pause. “Whatever you need, Bud,” Tony whispered, holding just as tightly as Peter was.

“I want you to promise never to do it again. Please!” he begged, never talking above a whisper. “I need you! I’d be dead in a dumpster in Queens somewhere, stabbed or shot full of holes without you. I need you so bad, I think it makes Aunt May jealous. I love you, Tony. I’d say, “like a dad”, but I don’t really remember to be able to compare. But I do love you like I loved Uncle Ben, but different and maybe that’s the dad part, that little bit of difference that I don’t really understand. I love you like I can’t live without you and I’m such a super-powered mess and Aunt May can’t keep up, even though she tries.”

“Pete,” Tony’s voice is raw in his ear and his hold tightened even more.

“I love you so much it hurts sometimes,” Peter interrupted him. “So, please...Dad, don’t ever do this again. Please?!”

“I promise, Pete!” He gasped, sounding so unlike himself. “I--I know you’d be better off without me--”

“No I wouldn’t,” Peter countered.

His dad hesitated, expecting Peter to continue, but when he didn’t, his dad spoke again. “School comes first, Kid--”

“Family first.” Peter interrupted.

“You, all of you, are so capable without me, even yo--” he tried again.

“No we’re not. They are capable for you, but all of them would be a mess without you there to be the mess for them...I’m a mess anyway.” Peter was smooth in his rebuttals.

“Pete,” his dad hissed in reprimand. “I know, all of you could live and go on without me--”

“No we couldn’t. I sure in hell couldn’t. I’m pretty sure Happy would crash the first time he got in a car without your permission. Ms. Potts would burn your empire to the ground, taking herself out in a massive blaze of glory. Rhodey would commit military suicide, going down with guns blazing like a modern day Sampson. Aunt May would die of boredom, literally drop dead in the streets, without you. I think Vision would tap into his inner Ultron and destroy the world, go complete psychopath on us. What do you think?”

His dad chuckled, burying his nose deeper into Peter’s hair. “Hilarious,” he remarked dryly, “now are you going to shut up and let me talk yet.”

“Sure, unless it’s deprecating and painful to hear. Then I’m just going to keep being an ass and interrupting. You’re always saying I should hit “teenage rebellion” before it turns into “midlife crisis”.” Peter felt so much better having heard the desired chuckle. It was stressful, and tiring, being the mature one and could understand why his dad left it up to Aunt May or Ms. Potts so often.

“Pete,” his tone was reprimanding again, but Peter chuckled. He could hear the lightness in it, and that was what mattered.

“I don’t want to know your reasons,” he said, becoming serious again. “They don’t matter, not because I don’t care, but because no matter what, no matter your reasoning, I will always love you.” Peter paused for a moment. “Hell, you could have used Ultron to take over the world and be this horrible, crazy, psychotic dictator and I’m pretty sure I’d be your innocent, completely naive son, who would loyaly murder some puppies for you, just because you told me they were plotting your overthrow.”

It worked. Again.

His dad burst out laughing, dropping back on the pillows (with Peter still in his arms), laughing until he couldn’t breathe. Peter quickly and easily joined in. It was better than dwelling on the somber mood and horribly terrifying events.

When they calmed again, Peter shifted, so he was laying on his dad’s right side, still wrapped in each other’s arms. He was NOT letting go anytime soon, but he could also hear footsteps, which meant he was going to have to share.

“Peter,” his dad started, not realizing they were going to have company soon, “I really am sorry.”

“I know,” Peter answered. “But let’s not dwell on it.”

“Pete--”

“You’re going to have to deal with Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes and Happy and Aunt May and I’m pretty sure Dr. Cho and Vision and I don’t know about the other Avengers, I punched Captain America before I came in here and bitch-slapped the Scarlet Witch--”

“What?!”

“Anyway, you’re going to have to deal with it with all of the adults, so...we talked about it and you know how I feel and how I’ll always feel, so can we let it go?” Peter looked up at his dad. “Unless you really, really need to talk to me about it, we can not and we’ll let everybody else smother you. I’ll be your normal.”

His dad stared down at him for a long time. Long enough for the footsteps to have reached the door and knocked softly. “Come in!” His dad called, without looking away. And as the door opened, he said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I wish I had done it a lot sooner. Maybe my life wouldn’t suck so damn much if I’d had you from the beginning.”

Peter blushed and smiled, burying his face in the hospital gown his dad wore. It was already permeated enough that Peter’s sharp nose could smell his familiar scent. He absently wondered how his dad managed to get the motor oil smell to be there even when he was wearing a brand new hospital gown that hadn’t so much as been worn in a car, let alone worn while one was being taken apart and cleaned.

“Tony!” Both Peter and his dad were suddenly enveloped in a very oxymoronic, viciously-gentle hug. “Tony, please stop!” Ms. Potts was a step away from full out sobbing as she held them. “Please, you know I don’t want to live without you.”

“But you could, if you had to,” His dad said.

Peter hissed in irritation as Ms. Potts jerked away to glare down at him. “Yes,” she snapped. Peter felt his dad flinch. “I could. Years from now, when we’re old and gray, and your sorry ass died on me first. While I finish the funeral arrangements, kiss the grandchildren one more time, and put one last bonque on Happy’s and Rhodey’s graves. I could live without you for that long and only that long!”

Peter tucked his face into his dad’s chest to hide his smile. He also closed his eyes and muttered a customary, “Ew,” when she leaned down and kissed him tenderly.

“I wouldn’t last,” she whispered. “I don’t doubt I’ll outlive you, but I wouldn't last. I’d waste away.”

“Of boredom, if nothing else,” they all looked over at the sound of Colonel Rhodes’ voice. “What on earth would we do if we didn’t have your messes to clean up.”

His dad sighed, not answering, as he rested his head on Peter’s. “I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. “I know I was getting better...I thought I was past all this.”

“It’s okay, Tones,” Colonel Rhodes reassured, resting a supportive hand on his dad’s leg. “It’s okay if you’re not, but all you have to do is ask.”

“We could have kidnapped the kid if you wanted to see him that bad,” Happy added, walking into the room with Aunt May, Dr. Cho and Vision.

“No kidnapping necessary,” Aunt May replied, “just make sure you return him when you're done...and preferably in a timely manner. Well-fed and watered, of course.”

The adults all chuckled, low and soft. Soberly.

“You have all our support, whenever you need us,” Vision added.

“I know,” his dad said. “I do. I’m sorry, all of you. I am.”

There were several sad smiles at this, but Dr. Cho broke the moment. “Whoa, you all had better write that down, Tony Stark just apologized!”

They all burst out laughing, but Aunt May, a quite capable jokester, added, “What are you talking about, he apologizes to me all the time!”

They laughed harder, but even with it, they had gathered around their wounded person, each longing to hold and support him, but settling for what they could. Peter was wrapped around his right side, Ms. Potts his right, very attentive toward his wound and IV. Colonel Rhodes still had a steady hand resting on his dad’s calf, leaning at the end of the bed. Happy had flipped a chair and was sitting on it backward, but his arm dangled over the bars at the foot of the bed, his fingers just brushing his dad’s foot. Aunt May was sitting in a chair beside Peter, her hand resting perfectly so it was holding both him and his dad’s arms. Vision sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, his long legs stretched out and purposefully touching his dad’s.

Dr. Cho was the only one not seeking contact, but she was studying his chart, beside the hospital machines, an attentive sentinel to his health, doing what she did best.

Author’s Note: You are loved, all of you. And if not, if you truly feel you need someone to love you, message me. I’d be more than happy. I am very open and very caring and I want to help. Even heroes have bad days, or falter, or mess up. Sometimes small things turn big, no matter how illogical it all seems.

Regarding Cap and Wanda. I do not hate them in any way, they were just the two I chose. I figure, because different cultures have different views on suicide, Wanda was a good choice for the “protest” because she’s not from America. Conversely, Cap is, but he’s from the 1940’s. I couldn’t get a good picture of their view back then, but I’m probably going to hazard that it probably isn’t that good. Besides, Cap is a Christian and that means he would view suicide as a sin.

Now, I haven’t decided if I’m going to do another shot of the Avengers’ reactions, possibly including Thor and Bruce, but that all depends on the reception and my inspiration. In this second shot, I would include what happened after Peter’s violent outburst and how Wanda and Cap redeem themselves, but again, it depends on my reception. So, please, review or favorite.

[gore-hovnd]

Don’t Breathe: Part Two

As per request of @hydra-trash-spot

Warning For: Toxic/Controlling Relationship, Emotional/Physical Abuse

(Also, side note, I’m literally incapable of proofreading unless things are in post format so please excuse my typos pff)

(Side Note pt 2, electric boogaloo; I edited it and now it’s not as BAD. Idk if this is gonna retag but if it does I’m SORRY, bc I’m awful and I’ve been fixing the formatting smh)

Sweat droplets rolled between his shoulders in a way that made his skin crawl as he shifted in his seat. Staring blankly at the paperwork in his hand, Jack began to read the paragraph at the top of the page for the fifth time. 

Of course there was maintenance happening on the building’s AC unit, of course today was the hottest day of the week, and of course Brock felt the need fuck him over in more ways than one by not letting him call off work for that day. When he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as a commander, Jack understood why. The STRIKE team had an urgent mission come up, they would be leaving for it in three days, and they needed everyone to be ready. But when he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as his boyfriend, Jack knew it was just Brock being the biggest dick imaginable at that point. It hadn’t been enough to drag him around the house in a dog collar that left dark, saturated bruises in its wake and made speaking a chore. It wasn’t enough to humiliate him by claiming that the bruising across Jack’s nose and beneath is eyes was from him coming into unfortunate contact with the shower rod the night before. And it wasn’t enough to make Jack come to work in a heavy jacket, zipped all the way up, in ninety degree weather to hide the bruises over his throat. Because nothing was ever enough and despite trying to stay out of Brock’s line of sight all day, Jack knew he’d always be Brock’s primary target.

“I need you to pick up training with Cap today.” Brock stated plainly while JAck shared a lunch that only one of them ate. 

Jack recoiled, looking up from the slowly cooling chicken pasta in front of him. He’d only gotten three bites in before he decided that it hurt too much to swallow. 

“Why?” Jack grumbled, his voice low and weak from both the abuse to his vocal cords as well as disuse. He hadn’t said a word to Brock all day, the anger in him once again rising, bashing against the cage of his resolve like a wild beast trying to break free. 

“‘Cause Pierce called me about havin’ another meeting this morning. I don’t got a choice here, Jackie, I already told the big guy you’d be there.” Brock explained as he scrolled through his emails at his computer. 

“Why not jus’ fuckn’ reschedule.” Jack grumbled under his breath, rising from his seat and throwing his lunch into the bin by Brock’s desk with more force than necessary. The combination of the action and his attitude had Brock looking up from his work, staring at Jack with an irritated look despite the upward turn of his lip. 

“What was that, mouth?” He asked and Jack hesitated for a second. He could challenge it, could try to put Brock in his place, but the lingering threat of the previous night’s events bred an unfamiliar fear in his chest and he pulled his gaze away. 

“Nothin’.” He mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets before making his escape. 

***

Jack sat in the gym for twenty minutes waiting for Steve. 

And in that twenty minutes he contemplated what the hell had just happened. He’d never been afraid of Brock before. Upset? Yes. Wary? Of course. Angry? Abso-fucking-lutely, but afraid? Never. And whatever was causing that fear to fester in his chest was making him sick. 

The doors to the gym opened and Jack broke from his thoughts, staring up to meet the bright, happy smile on Steve’s face that oh-so-awfully contrasted from his own bitter mood in a way that was borderline annoying. 

“Been a while,” Steve chuckled, offering his hand to help Jack get up from his place on the floor. He took it, pulling himself up and suppressing a hiss of pain as his body ached. That brief tumble down the stairs last night must’ve taken more out of him that he originally thought. 

As the two of them readied themselves; stretching, wrapping their hands, and ultimately building dread in Jack’s stomach, he couldn’t help but lose himself again. 

“Are you gonna wear that the whole time?” Steve piped up, pulling Jack back to reality for the third time in the past hour. 

“What?” He asked, forcing his shoulder to stretch despite the strain of his muscle. 

“That jacket.” Steve elaborated, gesturing at him to emphasize. 

Jack glanced down at it, somehow momentarily forgetting he had it on, before shrugging with a nod. 

“Yeah.” 

That was all he chose to say before the two of them stepped into the ring. There he stood: in a jacket, white basketball shorts, and black athletic ankle supports, staring at Steve who wore something similar, just with a tank top instead. 

The two of them sparred for a bit and from the very beginning, Jack knew it wasn’t going to end well for him. The soreness that blanketed him only seemed to get heavier the longer he tried to force his body to move. It slowed his reactions, made it impossible to keep up with the living god that was Steve Rogers. Jack didn’t think he could take goddamn Captain America down even on a good day so trying to on a day where all of his muscles were simultaneously on fire definitely wasn’t going to work in his favor. 

And try as he might, one particularly well timed hit to his ribs had him on the floor. When he looked at the clock, he’d found that they’d been at it for a solid forty-five minutes and Jack was almost impressed with himself. That is until Steve fussed over him like a damn mother hen. 

“Shit, Rollins are you alright?” Steve asked, dropping to his knees to seemingly try and get a closer look at Jack who, in turn, waved him off as he spit his mouthguard out onto the floor. 

“M’ fine,” Jack wheezed unconvincingly as he pushed himself up with one arm, the other wrapped securely around his chest. Steve didn’t seem convinced, deciding to go for the jacket which had Jack pulling away reflexively. 

Steve paused, staring at him for a moment before he pulled the collar of the jacket down and all Jack could do was look up to avoid seeing the concerned look on Steve’s face. He let Steve unzip the jacket and pull it from his shoulders, getting a closer look. Even the gentle grazes of Steve’s fingers over the bruises on his neck had him flinching, less from actually feeling any pain and more from expecting it. What the hell had Brock done to him? And to think, for a few delusional hours, he thought he was lucky to have that man. 

“What happened to you?” Steve asked but Jack didn’t answer, responding by shrugging the jacket back over his shoulders and forcing himself to stand despite how much his body protested. “Did someone try to kill you?” 

For a single, cursory moment, Jack paused while his brain took time to do a hard reset. The suggestion felt so ridiculous that he wasn’t sure what else to do but play along with it. So he shrugged and watched as Steve shook his head in disbelief. 

“Did you file a report?” He asked and Jack released a bitter laugh. 

“What? Hell no.” He snorted. He knew that Steve’s mind was somewhere else entirely but he couldn’t help imagining what it would be like trying to file a report against Brock. He’d be killed, likely. Pierce already hated their relationship, said it was a “conflict of interest.” Jack thought it was asinine at first but now he was beginning to think Pierce, slimy bastard that he was, was right. 

“You need to, this is important!” Steve demanded. Jack wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to react and instead just shrugged it off with a quiet ‘s’ fine.’ only to earn himself a frustrated sigh from Steve. 

“It’s not fine, it’s dangerous! You know what we do, it’s...our line of work isn’t exactly a forgiving one.” Steve huffed. ‘Tell me about it,’ Jack’s thoughts chimed as he shook his head, staring at Steve with a tired look. 

“I gotta get back to work. STRIKE team ships out in three days, be ready.” His voice was monotonous and bland as he turned to head back toward the locker rooms. That’s when Steve grabbed his arm and a rush of adrenaline tore through his body with the force of a fire hose as he turned to throw a punch that Steve quickly dodged, releasing him in the process. Jack didn’t know when he started trembling but now that he noticed, he couldn’t calm his nerves. The sad look that Steve gave him did nothing more than ignite an angry fire within him and suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the feeling that he wanted to fight again. 

“You don’t have to do this alone, I can help you.” Steve offered, taking a step forward and offering a gentle hand, only to have Jack grab hold of his wrist with an unnecessarily intense grip. 

“Ever stop to think I don’t need your fuckin’ help, Rogers?” Jack growled. “Ever stop to think I might just need your head outta’ my ass?” 

With a grimace, Jack shoved Steve back and turned without a second thought, zipping his jacket up as he retreated to lick at the wounds rubbed raw by Steve’s pity. 

***

Going through a week long mission with Steve, while simultaneously trying to hide the bruises Brock gave him, had been absolute hell. So it was understandable that all Jack wanted to do when he got home was sleep. Unfortunately for him, all Brock wanted to do was fuck. 

“I’m serious, no.” Jack growled, pushing Brock’s hand from his hip only for that same imposing hand to latch right back on. 

“Oh, c’mon, Jackie, I need you inside me.” Brock purred, licking at Jack’s throat. By then, the bruises had become a sickly yellow and were faint enough for Jack to stop wearing hoodies and jackets to hide them. The rest of his body healed accordingly and things could go back to being relatively normal, something Jack wasn’t sure if he wanted. Because Brock made him hate normal. 

“I said I don’t want to.” Jack said more firmly this time, finally managing to shove Brock back on his haunches. Pushing himself up on his elbows, Jack held Brock’s glare before his commander finally scoffed and stood up from their bed with a huff. 

“You know, you seriously make me wanna fuckin’ hit you sometimes.” Brock growled as he left the room, undoubtedly planning to sleep on the couch. He always slept on the couch when he was sick of looking at Jack, when seeing Jack made him angry. He knew this, he knew Brock got mad when he said no, knew that Brock didn’t like it when he refused anything, especially sex, and knew that Brock wanted to hurt him because of it. But Brock had never actually said it aloud before. And for whatever reason, actually hearing it was unsettling. 

He didn’t sleep well that night and when he woke up the next morning, he found that Brock had seemingly dropped the entire thing. He was bad about that, about ignoring any sort of argument they had, but Jack didn’t really have any other choice but to deal with it. 

Over time, Brock got worse. Just as he always had. After a while his threats stopped being threats and he stopped warning Jack all together. Sometimes Jack could anticipate it but most of the time, it felt entirely random. Brock would smack him in the back of his head, shove him around, punch him, even, if he was in a particularly bad mood. And Jack was at a loss. 

There was a war waged in Jack’s mind, his emotions tumbling between hating Brock and adoring him. Brock was a terrible man; he was violent and volatile and fear had become a familiar friend to Jack in the months that had passed since the choke chain incident. But every few days, he would be gentle and kind and he’d make Jack feel like nothing short of a god. And for those few, fleeting hours, Jack was on cloud nine. 

But the good times never seem to last and eventually he was sick of making up excuses to stay. 

“Come on, Jack, yer gonna leave over that? Over a love tap?” Brock growled as he followed Jack through their home. 

“Does it matter?” Jack grumbled, shoving some of his clothes into an old backpack. “I’m a grown man, I can leave if I want to.” 

This response, however, wasn’t good enough. Brock’s hand was almost instantly around his arm and Jack recoiled, throwing his elbow back and landing a hit across Brock’s mouth, effectively bloodying his lip. 

“Sonuva-” Brock barked, staggering back when Jack landed another hit on his face. Spitting a mixture of blood and spit out onto the dark carpet, Brock wiped a hand across his chin before glaring at Jack, who was frozen. Multiple thoughts raced through his mind in that moment and somehow he was both proud of and angry with himself. But both of those were overshadowed by the terror that crashed through him like a startling rush of electricity when Brock advanced on him. 

The two of them fumbled around for awhile, battering and bruising each other until eventually, Brock got his hands around the back of Jack’s head pulled, bringing his knee up to collide with Jack’s nose. 

A sickening crunch filled the air and the two of them paused as Jack covered his face, panting while he tried to gather himself. Sitting down on their bed, leaving a bloody handprint on their white comforter, Jack tried to sniff but he couldn’t. Blood dripped down his mouth the same way it had months prior when Brock had pulled him off of the couch and all he could do was wonder to himself why he was stupid enough to stay so long. 

“Let’s go.” Brock growled under his breath, taking hold of Jack’s bicep and forcing him to stand like he was a child. Jack shrugged him off, even going so far as to shove him away, before the two of them trudged out to their car. 

The ride to the hospital was silent and when they got there, Jack refused to explain how it happened. It wasn’t that he was trying to protect Brock, he was just so exhausted… He didn’t have the energy to make up excuses or answer any questions. 

Luckily, it only took fifteen minutes for a doctor to be made available for him. Unluckily, Brock followed him back into the room. And as if his broken nose wasn’t punishment enough, Brock continued to berate him. 

“You jus’ dunno when to quit do you?” Brock growled, his arms crossed over his chest. His lip was swollen, the gash that ran through it shining angry and red. Drops of blood stained the collar of his grey shirt and in that moment the two of them stared at each other with equally intense looks of pure hatred. 

“What?” Jack snapped, trying desperately to convince himself that Brock wasn’t worth a trip to prison. 

“You don’t know how to fuckin’ quit, Jack! You always do this! You piss me off, then gimme that pissy little look when I get mad! This shit wouldn’t happen if you didn’t get me so fucking riled up!” Brock barked and all Jack could do was laugh incredulously, disbelief filling him as he stared Brock in the eye. 

“No, this shit wouldn’t happen if you weren’t such a fucking psychopath.” Jack hissed and just like that, Brock was on him again. First, there was a knee to his ribs, then a fist under his jaw, but Jack wasn’t going to lay down and let Brock beat on him anymore. He’d finally decided that everything Brock did to him was complete and utter bullshit. It wasn’t warranted and he wasn’t ungrateful when he got upset about it. And for the love of God, he didn’t fucking deserve it.

So he fought back. He kicked and he growled and he fought with everything he had. Landed a few good hits too. At some point, the doctor must’ve come in to the two of them fighting and called security. They pried Brock off of Jack, his eye swollen shut and his lip re-busted-open. Jack grimaced, wanting nothing more than to pounce on him while he was restrained. But the security guards were too quick to get him out of the room.

The doctor didn’t ask Jack any questions, simply got him cleaned up, reset his nose, and offered him a phone to call someone. Jack accepted the offer with a grateful, albeit quiet, ‘thank you.’ And he sat for an hour contemplating whether or not he should do what he wanted to do. He didn’t really have much of a choice, though, did he?

“Hello?” Answered Steve’s familiar voice over the other line. 

“If I ask you to come pick me up from the hospital will you promise not to ask questions?” Jack asked. He never was good at easing into a conversation. 

“The hospital? What happened? Are you hurt?” Steve immediately started and all Jack could do was sigh and weigh what options he would have if he decided to hang up. 

“Steve, please.” He begged quietly. He wasn’t proud of the pleading tone in his voice but he couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t hide it. Not anymore.

Steve didn’t say anything for a long time. The quiet that fell over them was the kind that was deafening and suffocating at the same time and he wanted nothing more than to scream just to fill the space. But before he could, Steve started talking again. 

“I’ll be there.” He said softly. 

And he was. In twenty minutes, Steve was at the hospital and the second he saw Jack, it looked like his entire world had been crushed. An odd look of knowing crossed his face as he flicked his head and without a second thought, Jack followed.

After another wordless car ride, Jack found himself in a new place. The unfamiliar space of Steve’s apartment left him feeling vulnerable and exposed, like a rabbit in a field of rabid dogs. But Steve’s gentle hand guided him and it sickened him that his mind was already waiting for that softness to be replaced with anger and pain. But nothing happened and Jack scolded himself for thinking something would. 

They sat on the couch with the same silence that had hovered over them on the phone weighing tension on their shoulders and Jack once again felt the urge to make noise so it wouldn’t feel so heavy on his chest. But just as before, Steve came to the rescue to fill the silence before Jack had to. 

“I guess this is how Bucky always felt when he saw me all beat up.” Steve tried to chuckle and Jack couldn’t help the little snort that left him. 

“Guess so.” Jack grunted in response, sighing as he refused to meet Steve’s eye. It was then that an arm slowly wrapped around him and with cautious curiosity, Jack let it happen, willing himself not to flinch. He half expected other advances to be made but nothing ever came, and he liked it that way. 

Steve turned the T.V. on and for a while, Jack zoned out while late night sitcoms flashed on screen with mediocre, cheesy jokes filling the quiet with a comfortable drone. And eventually, as Jack grew too tired to ignore the exhaustion any longer, he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder and found a relieving sense of peace when Steve leaned on him too. 

And for the first time since he’d met Brock fucking Rumlow, he felt safe.

[dannyphantomisameme]

Excuses

Phic Phight Prompt by @ave-aria 

“In the wake of Phantom Planet, school resumes at Casper High. Lancer tries to collect homework assigned before the Disasteroid, but - of course - who does homework during the end of the world? Nobody, that's who.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He was late. Again.

Lancer was surely going to kill him. He’d been late to school everyday last week and by now he could recognize that his first period teacher was getting annoyed. In addition to his horrible attendance, he hadn’t completed the assignment that was due today, but this time, he had a reasonable excuse.

Capping the thermos in his hand, he stuffed it into his purple backpack which slung loosely across his shoulder. He leaped into the air, setting off in an attempt to make it before his first class ended. Today, it had taken an abnormal amount of time to get Technus to surrender, considering he didn’t have Tuck and his PDA. But he had finally done it, and now he was late.

Soaring through the air with the minimal amount of energy he had after barely receiving any sleep last night, he headed in the direction of the only high school in miles.

Casper High was notorious for its constant claims of ghost infestations. Although other high schools ridiculed the institution for its absurd claims, the citizens of Amity Park knew the reality of it all. The students often received breaks because of the constant rebuilding required to fix the destruction ghost attacks posed. Unfortunately, today wasn’t one of those days.

He swiftly descended onto the the ground and landed on the stairs in front of the school. He dashed into the building, running as quick as he could while transforming. A ring of blue light fell from the top of his head all the way to his feet, leaving an alternate version of himself. His shoes skidded against the linoleum floor as he turned a corner. Running down the hall once again, he turned another corner and slammed into an unsuspecting figure.

“Sorry!” He yelped as he regained his composure and took off once again. He had run into Principal Ishiyama, who was left confused at his hasty appearance. She shouted after him, but Danny didn’t take the time to listen. He finally found the classroom door and quickly opened it.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The door swung open, interrupting Lancer and revealing a disarrayed teen. “Sorry I’m la-” Daniel replied in haste only to suddenly stop as he noticed the stares he was receiving. All of the students had their eyes on him. Looking back at everyone with a questioning glance, the boy shuffled into the classroom and closed the door behind him.

Although Lancer understood why people were staring at him, it felt odd that Daniel, an outcast, was being watched like a celebrity, which ironically, he was.

“It’s nice to see you Mr. Fenton.” Lancer greeted as the raven haired boy shuffled over to his desk at the back of the classroom. Everyone’s stares followed him as he sat down and placed his backpack on the ground. Just as the student sat down, a sudden explosion of voices from the others filled the previous silence. The cacophony of conversations prompted an annoyed Lancer to silence his students.

“Students, please be quiet.” Lancer said in an aggravated tone. “I understand that there are some matters from this weekend that you would like to discuss, and I will allow you to, once I’ve collected your assignments from Friday.”

His students eyes went wide as they realized they hadn’t done their homework. Even the smartest kids who usually had their homework completed weeks in advance had managed to completely forget about the assignment. Given the circumstances that the world had been in danger and was close to destruction, it felt fitting for the students to dismiss their assignments and only hope that a certain ghost boy could save their world.

“Please hand your assignments to the front of the classroom, and then we can continue with our plans.” Lancer said as he glanced around the classroom.

Nobody stood up.

The students looked around the class to see if anyone had completed the assignment, but no one had.

“Is there anybody who did the homework?” Lancer asked only to receive shaking heads in return. One student raised their hand.

“In our defense sir, we were in a global crisis. How could we have worked on our homework when the world was in danger?” said Mikey somewhat defiantly, unlike his usually introverted self. Another hand shot up.

“Like, it would have been impossible to do my homework when some giant asteroid was hurtling towards me.” Paulina said as she filed at her nails. Lancer swore he could hear Samantha mutter something along the lines of ‘not everything revolves around you Paulina’, leaving him battling to keep his smile from showing.

Lancer let out a sigh. How was he going to teach his class if no one had done the preparatory work for today’s lecture? After considering the situation for another minute, he decided to let it slide. He could adjust his teaching schedule to accommodate for one day.

“Alright fine. I’ll extend the date to tomorrow. Rest of the class is a free period. Please keep your conversations to a low volume.” Lancer instructed as he sat down in his desk chair. All the students turned backwards to face Daniel, some even moving their desks.

“Uh Fentur- I mean Fenton, is it true? Are you really Phantom?” Dash asked as he turned to face the raven haired boy. The question intrigued Lancer and he decided to listen in while simultaneously reading through his emails.

He had seen the news and the revelation as Phantom as his own student, Mr. Fenton. It had initially shocked him, how could one be a human and a ghost simultaneously? Was he even human? How had this come to be?

As he further pondered the questions, gears began to click as he recognized his obliviousness to this whole situation. How had he not noticed the student’s constant bathroom breaks and late attendances? The injuries he seemed to sustain after returning from said breaks? The daily uncompleted assignments? The lack of sleep he seemed to have?

The teacher had previously chalked it all up to bullying, as he had known Mr. Fenton was a common punching bag for the upperclassmen jocks. He knew it was wrong to not discipline the jocks for their disrespectful behavior, but they were considered the schools prized possession and on strict orders under principal Ishiyama to not be penalized for their misconduct. It frustrated Lancer, not being able to uphold his moral standards just because some school wanted to make money off of their students.

But he let it slide, only for the sake of not being fired. Any salary, even one as small as his, was necessary for his survival. At hearing the voice of his most reserved student, he was sucked out of his thoughts and brought back into reality.

“Well, uh… yeah I guess.” Daniel stuttered as he rubbed his neck with his hand. It was a common gesture that Lancer had caught on to over the years. The student used it whenever he felt shy, timid, or was bending the truth and making an excuse.

“Can you show us?! I wanna see the ghost boy!” Paulina practically screeched. She was the one who ran the Danny Phantom Fan Club, however despite her immense liking for the famous hero, she wasn’t the only one bouncing out of her seat in joy.

“Uh,.. I don’t know.” He said eyes shifting to the ground. It was obvious he wasn’t enjoying the attention from his fellow classmates. His best friend Tucker nudged his elbow in an attempt to get Daniel to continue. “Mr. Lancer, can I-?”

“Go ahead Daniel.” Lancer said as he nodded towards the boy. Daniel stared back in disbelief. It was obvious he didn’t want to transform into his alternate self so soon after his revelation, let alone in front of a group of his crazed fans. But he couldn’t say no to his classmates, especially with the approval of Lancer.

Sighing, the boy stood up and backed up near the wall. He looked around the class and suddenly two rings appeared at his waist. Lancer couldn’t remove his eyes from the spectacle. It was one thing seeing it on TV, but it was another to see it up close and personal.

One ring descended to his feet while the other rose to his hair, leaving the boy looking like an inverted version of himself. The students ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ at the wondrous display of light, some girls were even screaming at the sight of their beloved hero.

Once the rings disappeared, Daniel levitated off the ground, neon green eyes piercing the crowd of unruly teenagers. Lancer noticed himself gawking at the sight and quickly reoriented himself. How did his most enigmatic students manage to save the entire world? The student who he thought would never amount to anything? The student with the worst grades he had ever seen in his entire career of being a teacher?

But Daniel had proved him wrong. He’d never seen a student rise so quickly from the dead, quite literally too. He’d secretly been one of the most iconic people in town, and now globally. It truly warmed his heart to know that his student had been the one to save the world. If only he had known sooner of Daniel’s alternative self, he might’ve helped the boy on his assignments and decreased his overall workload.

“I can’t believe it. You really are Phantom…” Dash murmured.

“Wow Fenton, what else can you do?” Kwan shouted.

“Can you take me on a ride ghostboy?” Paulina asked in a flirtatious voice.

Several other students began talking simultaneously, making Lancer annoyed. It seemed as if Samantha and Tucker were also displeased at the several voices.

“Quiet down students. Daniel can only answer one question at a time, so please, raise your hands.” Daniel seemed to let go of his tense posture as he slowly returned to a slouch.

“Uh... Valerie.” Daniel said as he pointed to the African American girl in the back after looking through the crowd of students.

“Why didn’t you tell any of us?” She asked somewhat aggressively with narrow eyes. Her question seemed to have some hidden meaning, but Lancer couldn’t define what exactly was her true message.

“I couldn’t risk anyone’s lives in danger.”

“What about Sam and Tuck? They knew about it. Weren’t their lives important?” She questioned the boy.

“Well uh, they were there when it happened…” Daniel replied unsurely.

“It?” Valerie asked as she leaned out of her seat and towards the ghostly teen.

“The accident.” Daniel said dropping back to the ground and transforming into his former self. He seemed uncomfortable at the mention of this accident, which meant Lancer would need to intervene. Before he could, Samantha replied.

“Val let’s not talk about that day, ok? Clearly he’s not ready.” She said standing up and looking the African American girl squarely in the eye. Valerie reclined back in her chair from her previous tense posture and began muttering something incoherent.

“Next question.” said Samantha as she turned to face the students who had once again shot their hands into the air in an effort to be called on. “Lester.”

“What powers do you have?” asked the red haired boy from the back.

“Uh, ecto-ray, intangibility, invisibility, flight, ecto-shield, cryokinesis, body manipulation, extra strength, extra healing, and uh… those are the ones I can list off of the top of my head.” Said Daniel as he crossed his arms over his chest. Lester was left in awe as he wished he had powers too.

The class continued like this until the last five minutes of the class period, where Lancer interrupted the students Q&A session to remind them of their assignment tomorrow.

“Remember students, complete Friday’s homework by the beginning of class tomorrow if you would like to earn credit. I will adjust our schedule to accommodate for today’s missed lesson. This means you will have double the assignments tomorrow. Is that clear for everyone?”

Many students groaned, while some replied with a ‘yes’. They began to gather their things and straighten out the desks to their previous placements. The bell rang a second later and students began filing out of the classroom, conversing amongst themselves.

“Mr. Fenton, could you come see me for a moment?” Lancer said as he glanced at the boy. He nodded towards his friends, who left the classroom to wait for him outside. The boy shuffled up to Lancers desk, backpack loosely hanging off his shoulder.  

“Daniel, I want you to know that I’m proud of you.” Lancer said with a smile, prompting the teen to return the smile as well.

“Thanks Mr. Lancer. You don’t know how great that is to hear from you.” He said through his wide grin.

“Just when I thought I might have to recommend your for summer school, you manage to save the entire world.” Lancer said sarcastically. “I’m just curious, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.”

“Like I said Lancer, I couldn’t risk your’s or anyone’s life. If you knew I was Phantom, the ghosts would come after you.” The raven haired boy replied quickly.

Daniel’s answer was reasonable, but something felt missing. It was as if he was leaving some crucial information out of the picture.

“Is that truly why you didn’t tell anyone?” Lancer questioned.

The boy was left speechless, and Lancer knew why. He had uncovered another part of his student that he had kept so strongly concealed. Daniel stared at Lancer for a few seconds before replying in a lower and softer voice.

“I didn’t know if people would accept me. Would I be even more of a freak than I am now?” he replied staring at his shoes.

“Daniel, you realize that no matter who or what you are, I will always accept you. You’ve done astounding things with your special powers, and despite your mix of identities, I will always be there for you. And like I said, I am very proud of you…”

Daniel stood there soaking in the words, for a moment he looked like he was going to say something, but then he shut his mouth. He walked around the desk and towards the teacher. He then wrapped his arms around Lancer, and Lancer returned the embrace. The two hugged for a moment, with Lancer patting Daniel on the back. Leaving the embrace, Lancer spoke to his student.

“Now go to your friends, they’re waiting.” he said with a smile.

“Thank you Mr. Lancer.” Danny said looking straight at his teacher. Lancer could’ve sworn he saw a flash of green light from the student’s eye, before he turned around and walked into the hallway.

Lancer watched as the trio walked past the door and into the sea of students.

He really was proud of the enigma everyone called Danny Fenton.

And so was everybody else.

[gamersonthego]

Chase Koeneke’s Top 10 Handheld Games of 2018

2018 could’ve been a bummer of a year. The game I was most excited about – Fire Emblem: Three Houses – got pushed to 2019. We were getting a new Pokemon game...but it was based on a mobile game and was fundamentally changing the formula I loved. And outside of Smash Bros., there was little left I was anticipating.

And yet, 2018 turned out to be a fantastic year in handheld gaming. I got a turn-based strategy game that’s up there with any Fire Emblem game I’ve ever played. That Pokemon game ended up being pretty great! And there were a bevy of unexpected indies that kept me entertained all year long. Here are my top 10 handheld games from 2018 (as well as a few honorable mentions).

Honorable Mentions: Mark of the Ninja Remastered, Gris, Kingdom Rush Vengeance, Donut County, West of Loathing

10. Minit (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I like to take my time in games – fully exploring worlds, talking to NPCs, reading item descriptions. In that sense, Minit, a top-down Zelda-style game that only allows you to play in one-minute sessions should be my nightmare. But it’s not. In fact, I really liked it. Minit’s limitations freed me from my thinking and made me engage with the game on its level. In a world dominated by GPS and a games’ landscape dominated by easily accessible maps, there’s something refreshingly challenging having to commit the area to memory and make plans on not only what to do next, but how to make it there in time.

9. Golf Peaks (iOS, PC)

I’m bad at real golf, but golf video games, especially the ones that don’t try to meticulously recreate the sport, are my jam. Mario Golf on the Game Boy Color is one of my favorite games ever. Golf Story was one of my favorite games last year. And Golf Peaks takes that crown in 2018. Golf Peaks expertly mixes golf, card and puzzle mechanics to make for a uniquely pleasing combination. New obstacles are layered in world by world and get increasingly bizarre, until what you’re playing is barely recognizable as golf. Golf Peaks feels meticulously crafted, and it makes for a difficult, but rewarding experience. Unfortunately, because it’s so bespoke, it’s a finite experience, and once you’ve completed it, there’s little reason to revisit it. A new world has been added since the game’s release, but after completing it in less than an hour, I’m back to waiting for more.

8. Alto’s Odyssey (iOS, Android)

Alto’s Adventure was one of my favorite games of 2015, a gorgeous and fun take on the infinite runner genre. Alto’s Odyssey further refines the formula by adding in even more things to do. The silky-smooth jumps, grinds and backflips return, along with the sublime wingsuit power-up, but they are joined by Tony Hawk-style wall rides that add a new dimension to the game. With uniquely skilled characters to unlock and upgrades to literally and figuratively grind for, Odyssey will keep you busy for a long time. It’s one of those rare phone games that’s good for play sessions both long and short, and its action never gets old.

7. Final Fantasy XV: Pocket Edition (iOS, Android, Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I was intrigued by Final Fantasy XV on the PS4, but ultimately bounced off its combat and general milling about. Pocket Edition fixes both of those issues and lets me enjoy what I really like about the game: its story and its characters. The miniaturized version of FFXV has turned it into a linear game with simplified controls (touch controls if you’re playing the phone version). The way it retains quite a bit of the themes and depth (and voice acting) of the original game despite streamlining it never ceased to impress me. And weirdly, playing Pocket Edition has actually reawakened my desire to play the original game. I want to see this treatment given to other Final Fantasy games.

6. Florence (iOS, Android)

Florence is not a game I would traditionally play on a phone. It’s not an infinitely replayable, puzzling experience like Threes or Drop7 or even a Kingdom Rush. But it is an experience, and one I deeply appreciated. Florence made me feel more than any other game this year, and it did it in a game that takes only about a half hour. It tells a mundane, yet impactful story about relationships. It’s beautiful. It’s funny. It’s tragic. But most of all, it’s real, and it uses its touchscreen controls to great effect to make you feel like you are an active participant in the story. It’s somehow simultaneously abstract and extremely specific, and I think it’s something everyone should witness.

5. Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee (Switch)

This is the Metal Gear Solid 2 of Pokemon. Let me explain. In MGS2, you play as Raiden, and you learn that you are being put through a similar adversity to the original MGS�� Shadow Moses Island in the hopes of turning you into another legendary hero like Solid Snake.

In Pokemon Let’s Go, things start familiar enough to anyone who’s played the first generation of Pokemon games (particularly, Yellow). You get a starter, you battle your rival, you face Brock and Misty and the other gym leaders and you stumble into and interrupt a nefarious Team Rocket plot. It’s all there. Except then you run into Blue, who is the real rival from the first generation of Pokemon. Which means your rival isn’t your rival. And you aren’t you. It’s fascinating and I ended up loving it.

Mechanically, it’s a weird mix of adding from more recent games while also stripping away complexity. Mega Evolutions are in. Held items are out. HMs are out. Steel, dark and fairy types are in. And there are some brand-new mechanics like catch combos that are a fun and new way to engage with Pokemon. It’s not all rainbows (I’m still not sold on the GO-style catching system,) but I hope the next mainline Pokemon game takes a little inspiration from these games. And I hope they remake Gold and Silver in this style too.

4. Holedown (iOS/Android)

Holedown became my go-to phone game for most of 2018. While you can beat it in a manner of hours, the game is so addictively fun and replayable with its final, seemingly endless level that you’ll be happy to dive back in again and again to improve your score. Holedown is satisfying in every sense of the word. Endorphins rush when you see and hear massive streams of balls ping-ponging off walls. Hitting the perfect angle to keep the combo going higher and higher is intensely gratifying. It’s so easy to play and understand, and yet you’ll be learning new tricks after your hundredth attempt. Holedown rules. Play Holedown.

3. Super Robot Wars X (Vita, PS4)

OK, this one’s a bit of a stretch. Super Robot Wars is not available in the US last I checked (though it is available in English.) Also, I did not play its handheld Vita version. Instead I played it on the PS4. So, on one hand, this game doesn’t really belong on this list. On the other hand, I love Super Robot Wars X so much, so it’s staying.

This was my first dip into the series and immediately found it to be an incredibly dense and confusing experience. It’s a turn-based strategy game like Fire Emblem, which sounds right up my alley, but the number of things to account for is staggering. To list all its mechanics would be a daunting exercise. Slowly, but surely, I learned to engage with more and more systems until finally, I felt like I could see the code, that I had entered the Matrix. I suddenly knew strategy game kung-fu. The game would set up almost impossible odds and, sometimes after an insane amount of consideration, I’d find a solution. I could boost the range on one weapon for the one turn I need it. Or maybe that shield I’ve never used would actually come in handy here. Oh wait, this pilot has a special skill I could utilize. The solutions are always there, you just have to look for them. It’s a beast of a game, but one I became utterly mesmerized with.

2. Dead Cells (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I jealously watched early access PC players make run after run on Dead Cells. I heard people extol the game’s virtues on countless podcasts, and then, finally, the game released on Switch and I too could experience its splendor. And boy, did it deliver. Dead Cells bends over backwards to tailor the game experience to you. It allows you to choose what and when to unlock new skills, letting you further customize your arsenal as you play. It accounts for novice players who need to take their time getting through its sprawling levels while also providing options for crafty veterans who are able to speed through its content. And yet, as much as it caters, you’ll inevitably get to a point in your run where the game says “OK, now we’re going to test you.” I have failed that test every time. I have not beaten Dead Cells. But I am damn sure ready to try again.

1. Into The Breach (Switch, PC)

Where Super Robot Wars X is a turn-based mech strategy game on a macro scale, with an inconceivable amount of systems and options to deal with for your double-digit army of robotic fighters, Into The Breach stuffs all the same intensity into a comparably tiny grid and only a trio of battlers. It maintains the perfect amount of complexity, making every unit, every weapon, every move and every choice matter. It’s the ultimate chess game. And just when you think you’ve wrapped your head around its mechanics, it hands you a new team of mechs that plays completely differently. Runs are short, but meaningful, and the optional challenges (that let you unlock more new teams) push you out of your comfort zone to learn new strategies. Not only is it my favorite game of the year by a country mile, it might be one of the best games of all time.

[ethospathoslogan]

If it's alright with you, I would really like to know more about your sides you mentioned a while ago.

oh of course!!!

this got so long oh my god so i’m putting it under the cut, but ngl this was really fun to do and really helped to improve my mood

also it’s super fun to break your personality up into its aspects so i highkey rec that (and also good for character building)

Logic aka Danielle, “Dan” for short: 

the butch i strive to be.

short hair. she’s the only one that doesn’t have long hair and an undercut and everyone was #shook when she cut her hair. 

button ups and skinny jeans and flannels for days. 

seems stone cold, is like 75% stone cold. the other 25% is caring for the others and being really excited about knowledge.

she strives for knowledge and, tbh, will do what it takes to prove to others that she’s smart. 

the other sides have had heated arguments about whether or not she’s a ravenclaw or a slytherin because, on the one hand, she loves knowledge and loves learning, but on the other, will do anything to get ahead of people if they’re cheating. 

level headed. 

she will never admit it, but she actually does care a lot for the other sides. the one she fights the most with is Hypochondria/Jamison but, even then, she at least makes sure the the other side is okay. she’s not good with emotions and has a hard time empathizing, so her way of showing that she cares is bringing you well-balanced meals and water bottles.

the other sides know that she cares.

can talk about english literature for days on end. she is also an avid lover of philosophy.

she has her planner for the sides as a whole, such as appointments coming up and important dates and stuff that they all need to do to make sure that everything goes well. it’s super neat and color coded and everything.

her personal planner??? it’s a hot mess.

has been known to stay up until three-A.M. thinking about how free-will is an illusion. this is typically when Anxiety/James comes in and is like, “yeah, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean that everything is meaningless” and they just chill together for a couple hours

despite what literally everyone thinks, Dan and Creativity/Taylor actually get along the best. Taylor spends a lot of time dreaming of fantasies, yeah, but Dan helps to keep them in check and Taylor lets it happen. also, Logic and Creativity working together helps make for realistic yet fun writing pieces. they’re the #besties and literally no one expected it at all.

Dan and Morality/Skylar have some problems they need to work through because Dan has a hard time empathizing, and sometimes even sympathizing, and Skylar is always feeling everything and feeling everything So Much. this has caused Skylar to lash out at Dan and then promptly burst into tears. things are getting better, tho. they’re working on it.

Dan and Hypochondria/Jamison fight a lot. well, not really Fight. just, Jamison starts telling everyone that they’re dying of [insert disease] and starts to freak everyone out and, therefore, starts to get even more freaked out and Dan has to step in and be like, “we’re not dying” but Jamison is always like, “and what evidence do you have on that?” and Dan.exe has stopped working.

Dan’s arc would be letting her walls down.

Creativity aka Taylor:

a bit of a beauty queen.

she is always in dresses and heels or, at the very least, a super put together outfit.

she says it’s because she likes making good impressions. really, it’s because she relies on her looks for people to like her because talk about distorted confidence.

she likes how she looks and she likes the content she puts out, but she doesn’t really like herself. but we can’t angst yet, it’s too early for that.

despite typically being pretty proud about what she puts out, she is very defensive about criticism. she’ll show you something she wrote and you could be like, “oh, it’s really cool!!! why did this specific part happen, tho?” and she’s angrily rewriting the entire thing. or angrily defending why her way is the best way.

Dan typically has to step in and be like, “of course some critics can be harsh, but not every criticism you receive is a personal attack”

Taylor hates when her best friend is right but she legit cannot argue with the physical embodiment of logic. well, she could, but that’s exhausting.

she would never do anything to hurt someone. but if she’s like, “hmm, i want to write a dragon fight, but it needs to be realistic so people like it,” guess what? there’s a dragon now. everyone’s screaming. Taylor simultaneously regrets everything and nothing.

she has the habit of recreating fictional characters for fanfiction purposes. sides meet sides. it’s meta af. everyone is confused.

she’s not allowed to watch horror movies because suddenly every room in the house has a killer in it and her, Skylar, and James are sobbing hysterically while Dan has to deal with it. Jamison comes along for the sake of watching Dan be like “YOU DON’T MAKE ANY SENSE” to fictional murderers and monsters.

despite her sometimes abruptness and her want to get her way, she really does love the other sides with all her heart. Dan is her ride or die, Skylar not only helps with writing emotional scenes but also is a great shoulder to lean on, her and James actually don’t conflict that much, and even her and Jamison get along, though that friendship is watched with caution by everyone else.

she easily gets trapped in the fantasy world. she imagines worlds where there is a girlfriend to love, friends who always click with her, a world where everything works out.

she has a hard time liking herself because, yeah she likes how she looks, and she thinks the content she helps make is good, but what about herself? she’s worried that she’s not actually that interesting.

there isn’t really a side that she doesn’t get along with. though, James did once call her a brat after Taylor got really defensive about constructive criticism. Taylor got real quiet real fast and, after a huge amount of awkward silence, the two immediately started apologizing. most don’t expect Creativity and Anxiety to get along, and at one point they fought more than usual, but Dan was the one to come in and help find a bridge between Taylor’s dreams and James’ reality.

Taylor basically follows Dan along for everything and anything. if you have Dan, Taylor typically isn’t too far behind.

however, she did once get into a nasty fight with both Dan and James because, as she puts it, they “fucked up a chance at love”

Taylor and Skylar get along super well. they’re both sensitive, yes, but Taylor is a lot more level headed then Skylar so she can help her out when Skylar is having a hard time. and Skylar can help her write more emotional things and also is super good for emotional support.

Taylor and Jamison literally aren’t allowed to be around each other, just the two of them, for too long. leave them alone for five minutes, and they’re both sobbing hysterically because they think they’re dying and they have already worked out how it’s happening.

Taylor’s arc would be learning to love herself.

Morality aka Skylar:

comfy leggings and sweaters with sweater paws all day every day.

so sensitive. so emotional. please help her.

her mood changes super easily. one morning, she’ll be bouncing off the walls. that afternoon, she’s a bit irritable and has a hard time mixing with the others. that night, she’s an empty, upset mess.

her catchphrase might as well be, “i’m feeling everything and i don’t know what to do”

she’s incredibly sensitive and is easily hurt. she hates the fact that an offhand comment or a joke can hurt her so much.

she wants to be there for everyone but she sometimes has a hard time with it because she feels like no one’s there for her.

the other sides are all there for her, or at least they try to be. Skylar just has a hard time with stuff like that.

a “broken heart” physically pains her to the point where she can barely move without crying.

she can be a bit of a doormat occasionally because she has a hard time standing up for herself.

and the one time she did stand up for herself was... it was a mess:

her and Dan were arguing because Skylar was having a bad day and Dan couldn’t understand that and couldn’t understand why Skylar was feeling so bad when nothing was technically wrong

and Dan probably said something about how Skylar should just try to be rational and Skylar just. snapped.

she started yelling and cursing a bit and basically seething with rage at Dan and perhaps a few not-nice words were thrown by her and everyone watching (which is literally everyone) just freezes because they’ve seen Skylar be happy, sad, irritable, excited, etc etc etc, but they’ve never seen her enraged.

they all silently agreed it was quite heartbreaking, actually.

when Skylar was finally finished, she just froze for a second and then instantly burst into tears because of how awful she felt.

that day, Dan and Skylar finally sat down and had a talk that lasted for hours because they both wanted to start seeing eye to eye.

Skylar considers all the sides her friends, even Dan, but she gets really sad sometimes because she feels like she’s the least liked.

they all love Skylar tho. give this side some love. pls.

even though Skylar is quick to fall for James and Jamison’s anxious thoughts, she is the first one to go and comfort them. while Dan talks logically with them, Skylar is the one to go and make sure that they’re comfortable and okay and give them both big hugs.

Skylar’s arc wouldn’t be accepting that she feels everything, it would be learning how to properly handle them.

Anxiety and Hypochondria aka James and Jamison aka “the twins”:

even though all the sides look the same, even Dan with her short hair, it is near impossible to tell James and Jamison apart

their hair is always up in either a pony tail or a messy bun. they’re both always wearing ripped leggings or jeans and a hoodie or a sweater. it’s always in dark colors, such as black or dark blue or dark green.

and, yes, they always end up matching. they don’t mean for it to happen. but when they are literally two sides of anxiety, it’s kinda hard for them to not think the same on some aspects.

the only way to tell them apart is that Jamison looks incredibly sickly. she’s super pale, super frail. she has gaunt eyes and is shaking a lot and basically looks like she’s about to keel over at any moment.

James fights with Jamison a lot because Jamison’s hypochondriac thoughts fuels James’ general anxious thoughts, but she would also fight anyone who hurts her sister.

James is a bit insecure about her name because it’s not a typical “”“girl’s”””” name, nor has she ever heard it used in a gender-neutral sense, but she at least learns to accept it.

if you call her Jamie though, she will deck you in the face.

James, despite her dark clothing and being slightly rough around the edges, isn’t actually that mean.

she used to be super present and super agitated all the time and super quick to fight literally all the sides, but as time passed and things calmed down, so did she. she works a lot with Dan to help see reality better because, now that she isn’t as heightened, she wants to see how she could work on her anxious thoughts.

actually, it’s the other sides that tend to freak her out. Dan makes her think about whether or not she’s really smart. Taylor makes her wonder if she’s actually good at anything. Skylar makes her think that all her friends hate her. and Jamison aka Hypochondria is obvious. basically, whatever they fear, she ends up fearing.

but she’s doing better than she has in years. which is nice.

but Jamison is an entirely different ball game.

James and Jamison both formed after Dan, Taylor, and Skylar were already there. once they all found out that their purposes were Anxiety and Hypochondria, everyone was super confused as to why they wouldn’t just be one side. why separate an anxiety disorder from anxiety???

and then they learned that Jamison’s hypochondriac thoughts are worse than anything James could think of.

your chest could hurt for a couple seconds and Jamison has already told everyone that you’re dying and that the hospital can’t help you now.

her more... morbid thoughts tend to get incredibly upsetting for everyone.

she doesn’t mean to be like that. she doesn’t mean to scare everyone and to make everyone feel sick.

going to Jamison’s room makes everyone take on different symptoms for illnesses.

but all these anxious thoughts just... happen and she can’t control it.

the only side she really argues with is James because anxiety + anxiety = a whole lot of bad, but besides that, the other sides don’t fight with her purely because she’s more scared than any of them.

yeah, Dan finds it frustrating when she finds Jamison crying with the other sides and they’re all freaking out because they think they’re dying, but she can’t even yell because Jamison is by far the most panicked one.

so, basically, all the sides, while frustrated, work to at least calm her down.

WebMD and Mayoclinic and any other website that will list symptoms are banned. Jamison doesn’t even have a phone/laptop because of this.

she easily appears and disappears. there have been times when the sides haven’t seen her for weeks, sometimes even months. and then, all of a sudden, she’s back and her room is taking up the most space.

[oumakokichi]

I just realised that Ouma probably died while thinking that Saihara would be happier seeing Momota alive instead of him. And I just. I'm sorry okay.

I’ve often thought about the fact that pretty much everycharacter in Chapter 5 is much more appalled at the idea of Momota being theone under the press than Ouma. It’s something that’s sort of vaguely touched on—“Ouma”in the Exisal, likely according to script, does have a few tongue-in-cheekremarks about the fact that everyone would probably much rather him be deadthan Momota.

But it’s still something that’s not ever really fullytouched on. Even at the very end in the post-trial, when everyone finally knowsthe whole truth of the catbox and sees Momota alive and well with their own twoeyes, there’s sort of a distinct absence of grief over the general loss ofhuman life.

Of course, I understand very well that Chapter 5 wanted toparallel Ouma and Momota’s last moments, with Ouma choosing to die willinglyinside the catbox and remaining an enigma while Momota went out beloved byeveryone in a blaze of glory. I understand as well the fact that manycharacters had conflicting (to say the least) feelings about Ouma as a person.Up until the end, from their perspective, he was hostile, antagonistic, he tookcredit in front of all of them for awful, horrible things, and scared them allhalf to death.

Still, one of the most consistent points of Ouma’scharacter, the thing that’s most central to his moral code, is his distaste forkilling, period. Loss of life, any life, is something that Ouma himself veryclearly detested. Despite his act and all his facades, the loss of each andevery one of his classmate’s lives was something that very obviously hit himhard, as all the evidence from his motive video to his whiteboard proves lateron in Chapter 6.

Again and again, Ouma warns the group that they aren’t takingthe very real possibility of death seriously. He outs Maki as the SHSL Assassinprecisely because her talent is way too dangerous to run the risk of herkeeping that secret and doing as she pleases behind the scenes. He tries sohard to bring the killing game to an end himself because, from his perspective,everyone else seems to be doing nothing but trying to continue it. And when Makiultimately barges in and poisons him in Chapter 5, he’s appalled, asking herpoint-blank, “do you really enjoy killing thatmuch?”

Even if Ouma had been half the villain that they allbelieved him to be (and he definitely wasn’t), the almost noticeablenon-reaction to his death would still be a little bit… well, off-putting, in myopinion. Even Junko’s decision to execute herself warranted more of a reactionof shock and horror from the dr1 survivors. It’s just very hard not to feellike Ouma did make a few valid points about how little the loss of human lifegets taken seriously by the rest of the group, especially as long as it’ssomeone they don’t like.

By contrast, all the characters’ reactions to Ouma’s deathin Chapter 5, even when they know for sure that it’s Ouma who died, feel alittle more like non-reactions. Like, “oh, well I guess that certainlyhappened.” The idea of dying painfully and slowly from literal torture poisonand a hydraulic press simultaneously is enough to make them feel sick to theirstomachs when it’s Momota who they’re picturing dying, but suddenly seemsrelatively unimportant as soon as they know that it was actually Ouma.

A large part of this is actually lampshaded in the trialwhen Momota within the Exisal actually asks Saihara to back him up and prove tothe rest of the group relatively early on that Momota is alive and Ouma isdead, and Saihara literally can’t. He considers all the possibilities andevidence that they have currently, and he starts freaking out, saying he can’t. He wants Momota to be alive, Momota seems like the obviously “better”choice to be alive, and yet he just doesn’t see how it could be possible, goinginto such a state of denial that it shocks even Momota and forces him to goback to playing “Ouma” within the Exisal until everyone can piece the rest ofthe clues together.

Again, I do understand thematically why it was done. Oumawent out in the method of his choosing, and keeping his mindset and motives amystery to the end was part of what he wanted, too. It’s very telling that inChapter 5, blaming Ouma himself is always an option, in a very Umineko-like “blamethe witch” sort of way. Even at the very end, even after his death, Ouma givesthem the option to continue blaming him, to choose the “gentle lie” that he wasevil and horrible and a villain if that’s more comforting to them than theharsh, unchanging truth—the fact that the ringleader is someone they know andtrust within their group.

But it really is sad that most of the group genuinely justdoesn’t react to his death much. It’s not so much about the fact that they werehappier to see Momota alive. Obviously, Momota was their friend, an inspirationand a role model to many of them. It’s more about the fact that very few ofthem are actually saddened by Ouma’s death at all, or even horrified at thegrotesqueness of it.

Maki’s attempt to kill him with literal slow, painful,torture poison, and her willingness to throw absolutely everyone’s lives on theline at the school trial and get them allkilled, warrants little more than a slap on the wrist—no one in the groupactually gets mad at her or stays mad at her for this, or even brings it up atall after the trial is over.

And I can understand making some allowances for thinkingthat Ouma was the ringleader and the leader of the Remnants of Despair, butMaki did promise in front of the whole group not to try and kill Ouma, the sameway that Naegi and the dr1 survivors didn’t actually want to kill Junko, but to talk to her. And still, her recklessnessand attempt to murder not only Ouma but the entire group at the school trialhas no lasting consequences. None of the other characters mention it, everyoneacts as if being in love is a perfectly reasonable motive for murder, no oneeven seems particularly scared or afraid of being friends with her after thetrial is over with.

Asahina, who attempted pretty much the same thing because ofSakura’s death in dr1 Chapter 4, was still so appalled by her own actions whenshe realized how close she had come to killing everyone over a lie and amisunderstanding that she almost threw up. She apologized to the group atlarge, the whole group acknowledged her mistake, talked about it, and discussedthat Monokuma was the one who was really at fault, and it felt like the issuewas really being handled properly, rather than brushed under the rug entirely.

I wish that had been more of how things had gone in ndrv3Chapter 5, because it really does feel like none of the group take Maki’stalent as a SHSL Assassin or her disregard for human life seriously as apotential threat even when the entire point of her character is how recklessand dangerous she is.

Basically, Ouma is hardly a poor precious cinnamon roll: he’sa complex character who demonstrates morally gray behavior frequently, and whohas huge, glaring flaws even if he’s well-intentioned. But it is definitely hardto not feel kind of bad for him knowing that there was some truth to hisfrequent accusations that the rest of the group didn’t really care about humanlives as much as they claimed to.

His bewilderment at their willingness to make excuses formurder is rather understandable on some level when he gets choked on severaloccasions in front of all of them and the only reason anyone stops him fromdying is less because anyone thinks his life personally has meaning and morebecause they don’t want Maki to dirty her hands again.

The point with Ouma was certainly that, by isolating himselfso much from the entire group, he inevitably made himself into someone who wasimpossible for others to understand. And while part of this was his own desire,because of his paranoia and inability to trust, it also became a self-fulfillingprophecy of sorts, where he couldn’t trust them because they couldn’t trusthim, either. All of those things make thematic sense, but still… the fact thatmost of the group failed to revise their opinion of him even after his death (avery gruesome, horrible death which he went to willingly for the sake ofpreventing anyone else in the group from dying when he didn’t have to) willalways probably make me sad.

Anyway, I got a bit long with this ask without meaning to.It was an interesting point you brought up, anon (and a sad one), so I justwanted to share my thoughts in return. Thank you for stopping by!

[sage-nebula]

I was wondering if you have any thoughts/feelings/theories about Keith from Voltron? I've been reading a few theories on him and his mother and other family members. Do you think there are female galra? Or that Keith and Lotor might be related? Why would Keith's mother leave him but not be with the blade of Marmora? Do you think Keith will have a galra form/power of some kind? I always love to know your thoughts.

Sorry for the late reply! I’ve been busy the past few days, haha. I’ll take these one by one.

“I was wondering if you have any thoughts/feelings/theories about Keith from Voltron?”

Yes.

“Do you think there are female galra?”

Yes, and I think the fact that it was believed (by Allura et al) that Haggar was Galran this entire time supports that theory. I mean, I guess perhaps they thought “the druids” were another alien race, but to my knowledge we don’t have confirmation of that. To my knowledge, it was believed that Haggar was Galran, and that being a “druid” was simply a point to her powers / status / abilities. Allura wouldn’t believe that Haggar was a Galran if it was impossible to have female Galra. So to that end, female Galra do (understandably) exist, and the only reason why we haven’t seen them yet is because pretty much everyone in 80s Voltron was male (to the point where the VLD writers made Pidge female just to put another lady in the cast), and we haven’t had new female Galra introduced yet for whatever reason.

“Or that Keith and Lotor might be related?”

Doubtful. Not only were they not related in any of the previous iterations (though Keith wasn’t Galran there, but still), but I don’t think there’s really anything to be gained by having them be related here. This doesn’t mean that Keith can’t have a Zarkon-supporting mother, of course, but I think that when it comes to Lotor specifically they can still have a very interesting relationship without having them be long lost brothers or something. That said, I would love for Lotor to be a bit like Dagur from the Dreamworks Dragons television series, in the sense that Dagur was always calling Hiccup “brother” and was obsessed with teaming up with / defeating him for the majority of his time on the show. Having Lotor treat Keith similarly purely because Keith is part Galra / a worthy adversary would be fun.

“Why would Keith’s mother leave him but not be with the Blade of Marmora?”

People are complicated (and Galra are people), so there could be a myriad of reasons, and I have a lot of different thoughts on the possible identity of Keith’s mother. A few theories:

She was a member of the Blade of Marmora, and also potentially the original pilot of the Blue Lion (though I prefer to think she was the original pilot of the Red Lion for a few reasons), but she was killed after Keith was sent to Earth. Therefore, while she had the knife and was able to put it in Keith’s possession, she wasn’t alive to explain what it meant.

She was a member of the Blade of Marmora / Paladin of Voltron, but while she wasn’t killed, she had to go into hiding. Keith was sent to Earth (with his father?) while she fucked off to who knows where in order to do �� whatever it was she was doing. (Some have speculated that perhaps she was the Galra that Keith saved in the Weblum, so maybe she was trapped there for god knows how long? It’s possible.)

She was a Paladin of Voltron, and specifically the pilot of the Red Lion. When Zarkon betrayed Alfor and defected from the Paladins, she pretended to defect with him in order to be a double agent and help the Altean Kingdom fight back against the Galran Empire. In the midst of this she met and fell in love with (or at least had sex with) a human—Keith’s father—and had Keith. Not wanting Keith to be in danger, she sent him (and his father?) to Earth where he would be away from Zarkon, the Empire, the war, and therefore safe. It’s possible that she intended to go back for him someday. However, when she went back to Zarkon’s ship with the Red Lion in order to continue acting as a double agent, the fact that she was not sincerely following Zarkon was discovered (potentially by Haggar?) and she was put to death for treason. Thus, Zarkon came in possession of the Red Lion, the Red Lion was traumatized over her previous pilot dying (hence her protective behavior over Keith), and Keith’s mother is dead. (This would also explain the Blade of Marmora’s knife: If she was acting as a double agent, then it would make sense for her to also be one of the Blades, much like Thace later on.)

Alternatively, most of the above is true, except that Keith’s mother was legitimately loyal to Zarkon, and may or may not still be alive. She still wanted her son to be safe and as such she still sent him to Earth, but despite her motherly love for Keith, she still believes in Zarkon’s ideals and acts as a loyal soldier for him. Why she stopped piloting the Red Lion then is unknown (perhaps Zarkon doesn’t fully trust her?), but if this is the case and she is both alive and loyal to Zarkon, it means that there is room for conflict between her and Keith later on down the road, which could be hella interesting. (It would also make her similar to Visser One from Animorphs, given how Visser One loved her original children and then later developed a sort of affection for Marco thanks to Eva, so there’s that as well.) 

I’m personally most fond of theories 3 or 4, but 4 will only be worth it if we actually see her and see the emotional conflict that comes about as a result of Keith having to reject / fight his mother because he can’t allow the universe to be destroyed, even if it means going up against his own mother—whom he has always had questions about and has longed for—in battle. (As well as the reactions of the rest of the Paladins + Allura when they discover that Keith’s mother is a willing agent of Zarkon … but that Keith himself is willing to do battle against her anyway, even though he’s obviously emotionally wrecked by this.) But I’d be happy with theory three as well.

“Do you think Keith will have a galra form/power of some kind?”

Hahaha …

Okay, so as a disclaimer: I’m not trying to stop anyone from having fun, or discourage fanworks of any kind. I think it’s great when people can be creative and I fully encourage people to creatively engage with this show however they choose. Just because I don’t personally enjoy something doesn’t mean others have to stop making it. As Steven Yeun said, “you do you.” If creating this kind of content makes you happy, then by all means, do it. 

However …

As far as personal taste goes, I really, really dislike all of the “Galra Form!Keith” things I see around on tumblr. Things where he, for absolutely no explicable reason, despite being 100% human in appearance for his entire life, suddenly has purple fur and Galra ears and a tail. It doesn’t make sense. It makes no sense. It would be like if Tobias (from Animorphs) had suddenly sprouted Andalite features because his father was Elfangor. That’s just not how biology works, bruh. He’s not going to spontaneously mutate into a Galra because he discovered he has some Galra heritage. Keith looks human. Keith, for the most part, acts human except for a few odd quirks that appear in only very select circumstances, potentially because of experiments done by Haggar (more on that in a second). There’s absolutely no reason for him to magically gain a Galran form, and so on a logical level I reject it because I don’t see how it could plausibly fit into the established canon of the show.

I also tend to reject it because I sometimes find that it has some … unfortunate implications behind it, perhaps. Like, not to start Discourse™ (so please don’t start Discourse™), but in my experience this fandom already has a history of racial erasure when it comes to the Asian characters (Keith and Shiro), insisting that they’re white (yes, even in Takashi Shirogane’s case), or saying that they’re “white-passing”, or what have you. So to take one of the Asian characters (and yes, I’m insisting on this, since he was Asian in literally every other iteration even when other characters weren’t and so the staff will be white-washing him if they remove that) and insisting that he has to be the one to suddenly look like a Galra, feels … off, to me. It especially feels off since it’s usually done as a form of objectification / fetishization for shipping purposes, to make him “more interesting”, or to give another character reason to fawn over him while he’s uncharacteristically vulnerable or some such. I feel like I’m not explaining this very well, but most often I see these kinds of fanworks not because it would make any sort of logical sense or because it would do something interesting for Keith’s character, but rather in order to fuel some sort of fetishization / objectification while simultaneously removing one of the Asian characters from the cast (or rather, race-bending him so he’s not Asian anymore, he’s just an alien). It bothers me and I’m not a fan. (And again, I’m not saying that’s everyone’s motivation, but sometimes unfortunate implications can be there even if someone doesn’t intend for them to be. It’s something to think about.)

So to that end, no, I don’t think Keith will have a “Galran form”. The most I think that could happen (that I think would be neat to see) is that perhaps his eyes get a lot brighter, nearly to the point of glowing, when he gets very emotional (not necessarily just furious, but true fury could potentially trigger it). I don’t mean that he’d lose his irises, mind you, but you know how Danny’s eyes glow in ghost form in Danny Phantom when he gets furious? Something like that. His eyes are already a neat purplish-gray color, so I think that it would be cool to see something similar with Keith, where they look even brighter and more eerie when he’s being pushed to an emotional limit.

Other than that, I think the way that Keith’s biology is affected by his Galra DNA is more subtle. Quintessence obviously affects him when he’s hit with it, but that could be more of a result of the quintessence itself (+ whatever the Empire / Haggar did to it) than his Galra DNA. I also think that he heals quickly as a result of his Galra heritage, and I headcanon that he basically never got sick on Earth as a result of his Galra heritage, but that the few times he did get sick, he got very sick—like, “needs to be rushed to the emergency wing” sick. One time he didn’t show up for a training session and Shiro went to check on him at his room in the Garrison, only to find him curled up on the floor after vomiting blood. It was bad. Keith recovered, but it was bad. Thanks for that, Galra DNA.

So yeah, I think he has things like that as a result of his heritage, but he’s not going to spontaneously turn into a Galra one day because of it. People are free to do what they like, I don’t want to harsh anyone’s fun, but I’m just not personally a fan of mutating him into a Galra (physically). It’s not my thing.

[nicemango-feed]

On Aziz Ansari: Let's Set the bar Higher than 'Not Rape'

I've had a hard time getting myself to sit down and write about this. I've procrastinated for days, always finding something else to do, other than think about this blogpost....or the Twitterhate writing about this subject could bring, from the antis and 'Rational Centrists' - who are usually...you know... *totally*  believably moderate and Center in their politics.  It's sad that we live in a world where being a feminist or simply a woman speaking up about sexual harassment/abuse/coercion/inappropriateness is a controversial position on the internet.  Many tend to be more concerned about the careers of the accused being DESTROYED than what the victim might have gone through, and how their lives might have been affected. And, all this in a world where a self professed sexual predator was elected to lead one of the most powerful countries in the world. 

His career seems fine, so far. 

***

There are so many thoughts buzzing around in my head...things that I’m recalling, that I’d rather not. I'm reluctantly combing through my relevant memories, because these #MeToo stories cause them all to surface. Those experiences in uni, on a packed bus, at work...with a boss creepily running his finger down my neck, bare shoulder and along my ear... (was it my fault for wearing an off shoulder top?) are all coming back to me. Another experience comes to mind, one with a doctor responsible for putting me under before a surgery - who leaned in and called me 'sexy'...as I lay there on the operating table about to be knocked out cold.  I clench my jaw just thinking about it. There are so many ways that behaviour can be sexually inappropriate, a whole spectrum exists. It's not always as black and white as rape vs. not rape, attack vs. no attack...it doesn't actually have to be an 'attack' to violate someone. And some very important, oft-neglected conversations lie in those grey areas.  The thing that bothers me most about the discussion revolving around #MeToo, other than those trying to discredit the whole movement as some sort of hysterical, puritanical sex panic/witch hunt, is the binary thinking - That either this movement is perfection, impossibly unflawed....or that it is unfair and worth delegitimizing entirely... 'angry women' apparently now hold a lot of 'power' over some potentially innocent men that will get caught up in this. Will somebody please think of the accused men?!!

Sigh. If I were Aziz, I'd honestly cringe at the kinds of things being written in my defense.

(Click to enlarge) Interestingly. the writer of the above piece defending Aziz is also the author of this gem. "Having so many choices, Caitlin Flanagan maintains, has torn women away from what many of them want most: to raise a family and run a household. "  I bet this is on Peterson's reading list.

The attempts to discredit a general conversation about sexual behaviour that crosses the line, takes me back to my experiences with conservative opinions in Saudi and Pakistan.  While of course not at all comparable in the power they wield over dissenters or the degree of blatant misogyny...the underlying distaste for women having these conversations, reminds me of what I've seen in the other countries I've lived in. There are definitely some common themes, harder to ignore in these Trumpian times, as the better packaging comes undone.   However, despite some fierce criticisms, a very important discussion has opened up. And I for one am pleased to see the walls of silence come crumbling down, inspiring women around the globe, including in my motherland, Pakistan. As difficult as these conversations are, they need to be had. Finally…finally, women are being heard on this. Finally the grey areas are up for discussion...

There's this ridiculous idea that if it’s not a Harvey Weinstein level of abuse then it’s basically not worth criticizing. 

Firstly, I haven't seen anyone equate Aziz to Weinstein, and secondly why the fuck isn't something less than that worth talking about? The complaint isn't that it just wasn't romantic enough ffs. 

I'd even say the behaviours and incidents that are not on the worse end of the spectrum are probably personally relevant to more people.

It might be hard to come to terms with for some  -- especially those who are now having to question their own past actions -- but lets face it, sexual mores change, evolve and have *always* done so. 

This isn't some new thing sprung upon us by the 'spoiled, shrill, unreasonable, sjw' feminists of this decade. 

Once upon a time in popular media, Pepe le Pew's courting tactics were considered acceptable for children to view, hilarious even. 

Now, we know better. 

*** 

Many things can simultaneously be true in regard to this story & #MeToo, this is what most of the pushback doesn't get:

1) Of course it is in no way comparable to Weinstein, and 'Grace' from the story isn't saying that it is. 

2) It still paints a concerning picture.

3) The Babe article was done irresponsibly, it's focus on irrelevant minute details like the wine, etc. were damaging to the story.

4) It still started an important conversation.

5) Just because it isn't rape or about workplace harassment, doesn't mean it can't be included in #MeToo.

6) Criticizing people who are less than serial rapists doesn't mean it's a witchhunt. 

7) Yes there are bad takes happening in #MeToo, some blanketly throwing men under the bus. That is unavoidable in a conversation where literally anyone and everyone is chiming in. We should call those out too.

8) Some bad takes do not discredit all of #MeToo.

***

There are already many people like Christina Sommers, who will defend Milo at his worst, 

Now deleted whataboutery deflecting from criticism of milo making comments about real ppl, actual consent. Not a play. 

But are waiting to jump at the slightest chance to discredit this entire movement, 

Not well reported but definitely not 'baseless', even he did not deny any of it. 

The skeptosphere in particular has been painfully swamped with praise for the ‘brave women’ who speak out against #MeToo (because of course),

Not to mention this very article laid out that the 'brave woman' being praised also defended Roman Polanski. Then I was also linked to this, and it seemed he engaged and didn't deny defending someone who was jailed for paying underage sex workers. :(

There are takes involving the revolting hashtag #MeNeither (yes that's really a hashtag dedicated to people who haven't been sexually abused talking about flaunting how they haven't in the faces of those who have), that frankly strike me as reminiscent of women who insist that because *they* had a choice around the hijab and niqab, that those things are not oppressive. We have plenty such women in Pakistan and Saudi, so many of these systems would not have thrived so long without the help of women who have a case of internalized sexism. Their western counterparts are now more openly flaunting their positions, in this absurd Petersonian era of the Skeptosphere. I mean #TradLife is a meme that exists now and isn't laughed out of existence. 

Yes yes unbunch your undies, I repeat, I know Saudi Arabia is worse and much more oppressive, and that women in Pakistan have a way tougher battle for rights ahead of them than western women do. I’ve heard that dismissing tactic enough times. 

There can exist similarities with differing degrees of intensity. 

But just imagine #MeNeither being used to oppose a hashtag where women were speaking up about religiously motivated abuse and mutilation like FGM. These same #MeNeither skeptics would see it for the disgusting minimization that it is. 

Aside from all this, there are also the deeply disappointing 'maybe Sandusky [convicted serial child rapist] is innocent' takes by Jerry Coyne and in Skeptic magazine. Jerry also expressed sympathy for poor Milo after his whole pedophilia scandal. 

Before I am accused of taking it 'out of context' let me just say here's a link to the whole piece read it and cringe for yourself. 

The great Skeptic magazine also wrote a glowing review of Milo's book after this whole scandal. 

There are endless examples of concerning attitudes on this subject among 'skeptics' (see Amos Yee & the number of people that stepped up to defend or minimize Sargon tweeting 'I wouldn't even rape you', those that applauded it at an atheist/skeptic conference) ...but that's a separate blogpost in itself. 

Back to this story now;

This story hurt. 

Aziz Ansari cuts deep, he’s a successful brown Muslim comedian…such success in hollywood is rare for brown people. I have been rooting for him from the start. I grew up longing to see faces like mine on TV...and now...there he was. Oh Aziz 

:(

He’s a non traditional secular guy too who makes shows about his complicated relationship with his parents religious expectations, about the first time he snuck off with his cousin to have some pork. 

There is so much that deeply and personally resonates with me. He's repping secular people of muslim background in a not anti-muslim way...which is just so rare and so important. It really hurts to see him criticized like this, and it hurts to read about how he conducted himself.

I don't criticize him lightly or easily, but even I can see that some criticism is warranted. 

It also hurts because conservative muslims have already long attacked him with garbage takes like ‘hollywood only accepts secular muslims’ 

Really now. Hollywood only accepts secular Muslims? 

 ....And now they're using this story to say that it was his secularism or westernization that are to blame. Which is such rubbish - as if traditional muslim men who have clung to their religiosity and culture do not mistreat women..as if men directly from the old country do not mistreat women. 

I am so sick of people injecting their terrible agendas into #MeToo…be it anti-feminist, anti-western, anti-left, anti-porn, anti-casual sex....This isn't about any of those things...It's about sexual abuse and misconduct in whatever forms it may occur. 

This isn't hard.

On the flip side of anti-secular I've also seen pathetic anti-Muslim takes. 

Right, I suppose it was Cosby, Weinstein, Louis CK, Spacey & James Franco's Muslim upbringing that caused them to behave this way...I mean, obviously there are some religious hypocrites, sexually repressed who act out this way. But Aziz's story clearly isn't to do with his being of Muslim background. I forget which hadith says, 'demand a blowjob in the first 10 mins of a date'. 

I’ve also seen embarrassing ex-muslim takes, bringing Mohammed, (the prophet) into this whole thing? I mean why… this conversation is about people that...at the very least, have recently existed? 

Are we going to bring Henry VIII into it too? This is such foolishness, and such a stretch to find a way to drag Islam into it. Why do they insist on making Islam criticism so cringeworthy? Islam certainly has some terrible beliefs surrounding treatment of women, most Abrahamic religions do. But when you're grasping at straws like this and inserting mohammed into conversations like #MeToo , it just makes your criticism appear silly.  

A better way would be to call out people who use religion/Islam to justify things like child marriage or sexual abuse today.. that would be relevant… unlike dragging Mo in all the way from 7th century Arabia. 

As for the anti left takes... OH MAH GAWD THE HYSTERICAL LEFT IS ON A WITCHHUNT AGAIN *eyeroll*....Yes absolutely there are some extreme takes on the left that make me cringe. Just the other day I saw one with like 25K retweets saying that men should act like their name could be on a list. I don’t think that preemptively instilling fear in innocent people is the right lesson to take from this at all. 

Then there was someone I encountered who claimed that STEM was immoral because Krauss tweeted that disappointing article. I mean, come on...what a ridiculous conclusion. 

I’m happy to call those views out without dismissing the whole of #MeToo. 

What I’m tired of seeing (particularly in the skeptosphere) are people who’ve not uttered a peep in support of women speaking out against predators but as soon as they get the opportunity to tweet an article questioning #MeToo, they’ll be all over that. 

(click to enlarge) An screenshot from an actual article Michael Shermer tweeted out about #MeToo - apparently the voices of women who have had enjoyable sexual experiences are missing from #MeToo...well no shit. 

***

Aziz’s case was a good way to see who’s just looking to delegitimize this entire conversation and who's willing to acknowledge the flaws in the Babe article... while also saying, "this is something we need to discuss, as we are currently redefining and renegotiating the boundaries of appropriate sexual behaviour. That is literally the point of this. Remember, at one time marital rape was not acknowledged...these boundaries continue to shift as culture shifts - and to be clear, I'm not saying this case was rape.

What makes Aziz’s case especially worthy of criticism is the context that he literally wrote a book on the nuances of modern dating,

"In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world." 

And let's remember that some of these cases have only surfaced because the women involved saw these men shamelessly flaunting a #TimesUp pin after having treated them in this way.

Aziz has often used feminism in his comedy, has talked about being a feminist and encouraged people to use the word. It's perfectly fair to call him on his unfeminist behaviour.

Some of what was detailed in that ‘Babe’ piece was pretty horrifying, I can't even believe this is up for debate or being characterized as her wanting him to be a 'mindreader'. 

She physically removed her hand from his dick 5-7 times….she said she pulled away... went limp and stopped moving her mouth, she told him she didn’t want to feel forced…when he asked about sex she said 'next time'...

What about this is confusing or unclear? What part requires mindreading? What has made people behave so viciously towards Grace...the fact that it wasn't rape? Come on...is that where we are as a society? Our bar should be set well above 'not rape'. 

He's a celebrity she has admired, it could easily have been intimidating for her when he started undressing her so immediately. She understandably needed a moment to process wtf was happening. She gave him enough cues to stop and he didn't...until she stood up and said no yet again. Even after all that he tried to kiss her again, reached to try and unbutton her pants again. Can a woman not expect to sit at a first-time date's house without getting felt up and kissed constantly? 

He doesn’t seem to have denied any of the things she’s listed, just that it was interpreted differently by him. And he might be right, he may not have even noticed doing anything wrong...Which is what’s appalling, this is the conversation that hasn’t happened properly.  Now is the time people are going to speak up about boundaries in the bedroom. 

Some responses to this were so cruel, so vicious...it was hard to even look. 

  The victim blaming in relation to this case is just everywhere…the articles I’ve seen are unbelievable. How are we *still* having these discussions. Some of it perhaps, can be explained by a generational difference in perception. There's this idea that younger feminists are not tough enough, spoiled even. Feminists back in the day were fighting the 'real' fight, this is just shallow frivolous stuff now. 

I mean of course there are some ridiculous fringe views in feminism too, but these are exaggerated to try and discredit the whole of it. 

Being taken seriously when demanding progress has been a struggle for each generation. 

Sarcasm Font:

Worry not, silly Regressives...everything is *great* now, feminism has achieved it's goals and therefore has become unnecessary - Because things are not *as* bad as they once were, because women are now seen as 'equal under the law'.... there's no problem. Kind of like how racism is over too. Especially post-Obama, there has been no racism in the US ever again. You know where they need feminism? In those other countries, those people over there don't know how to treat women. Us in the glorious West thankfully have it all worked out. 

***

In seriousness though, one of the best responses I've seen to an accusation (not a perfectly comparable situation but one that is also 'not rape') is from Dan Harmon of the show Community who recorded a heartfelt apology on his podcast. 

Here’s a weird one for you: Last week, I called out my former boss @danharmon for sexual harassment, and today I’m going to ask you to listen to his podcast. https://t.co/BEZAWH787V

— Megan Ganz (@meganganz) January 11, 2018

Now Grace’s critics might also look at this situation and see something that required no apology, but in my opinion his words did a lot of good. It set a great example for something like this to be done again. 

Megan Ganz was a writer on the show that he had feelings for which soon became incredibly uncomfortable for her. Here are some quotes from his recorded apology below, which I think are especially significant in this climate. Too many people still insist that anything less than rape or Harvey Weinstein isn't worth discussing.

He made sure to tell his audience that attacking her or revictimizing her would do him no favours. 

He used language like “Attracted to a writer I had power over” 

“Ran the risk of undercutting her faith in her talent”

"I did the cowardly easiest laziest thing you could do with feelings like that, not dealing with them..and in not dealing with them I made everybody else deal with them. I made her deal with them. I was flirty, creepy, everything other than being overt enough to constitute betraying your live in girlfriend to whom you’re going home to every night."

He acknowledges, that he stopped short of doing anything obvious enough to constitute open betrayal and it was still a problem. And how everyone else, especially her…had to deal with that because he wouldn’t.

"….telling myself and anybody that threatened to confront me with it, that if you thought what I was doing was creepy or flirty or unprofessional, its because you were the sexist…”

Sounds familiar re: how the skeptosphere treats racism/sexism, It’s you who is the real sexist if you think women are victims. It’s you who is the real racist if you complain about racism. 

(Interestingly it’s also like the twisted logic you hear a lot ex hijabis mention, how they once justified the modesty garment to themselves; "Women who don't wear hijabs are slaves to society/the patriarchy, who mould themselves according to the will of men." "Hijabs are liberating, feminist…a means of freeing yourself from the male gaze, from scrutiny over appearance, etc, if you don't wear one you are actually the oppressed one"… but no one really buys that kind of thinking deep down inside.. do they?)

Back to Dan Harmon though, note the subtlety he captures here:

"Its not as if this person didn’t repeatedly communicate to me the idea that what I was doing was divesting her of a recourse to integrity.. I just didn’t hear it. It didn’t profit me to hear it."

Aziz Ansari could benefit from thinking along these lines. What he did may have been within the bounds of legality…but it was most certainly not ok. As someone who is a celebrity you’ve got to be aware of the sway you have over others. He must have sensed some of her signals of not being on board...I mean she literally said at one point, "I don't want to feel forced" but it didn’t benefit him to really pick up on them and adjust his behaviour accordingly. 

This line in particular struck me:

“I want it to sound relatively unremarkable to you because that’s the danger” - its really wonderful to hear someone acknowledge this...a man-person, even.  There are so many of these 'unremarkable' experiences happening in bedrooms, at workplaces that cross the lines...we need to start talking about those, and how we've normalized this kind of thing. 

"I wanted to teach her a lesson, if she didn’t like being liked in that way”

Good on him, for acknowledging he felt that way.

"I crushed on her and resented her for not reciprocating it, and the entire time I was the one writing her paycheques ….treated her cruelly. Things I would have never done if she was male."

"I lied to myself the entire time about it, I lost my job, I ruined my show and I damaged her internal compass…and I moved on."  [emphasis mine]

I imagine this is an effect Aziz might have had on Grace as well, and it would be good of him to acknowledge it in the storm that is being unleashed on her. Her internal compass must be all over the place right now... second guessing herself for creating this cyclone of hate.

Yes we know Aziz isn't a monstrous rapist, but still this account does not paint him in a good light. It would be incredible to hear something like Dan Harmon's apology coming from him...something heartfelt, with no excuses. Something that calls out the articles and people hating on her. But that's usually not how things are handled in these situations, so I won't hold my breath. Harmon said he went against legal advice to talk about this openly. 

Anyway, those are my meandering, rambly thoughts on the matter. Thanks for sticking around to read them. 

I hope that we can soon stop shaming Grace, and have more productive conversations around sexual misconduct that is 'not rape'. I hope we can hold people to a higher standard in the bedroom than just 'but it wasn't illegal'. I hope that the terrible op-eds saying spare Aziz from criticism because he is brown-skinned will stop. 

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