#while she was most definitely putting my sister at risk because she didn't wear her mask

[astarkey]

I think the biggest, sickest joke anything could ever happen to me was having covid for the first time last week, and I'm still trying to recover from it...

[mandos-mind-trick]

About My OC: Lexa Edition

So I said a while ago I wanted to post some stuff about my OCs and I've decided to do it now, starting with my sweet girl Lexa.

If you don't know Lexa, she's from this fic here. Not really necessary to read before this, you could read either first. I'm focusing on her Padawan era right now since that's what we've seen of her story so far. I'll be updating things as I think of them and as her story progresses. Not really in any particular order, I tried to keep them chronological but that got too hard so things jump around a bit lol.

(I am learning to draw right now so I can eventually draw my OCs and you can see what they look like instead of just relying on my garbage descriptions)

About Lexa: 

Born on Ryloth in 38 BBY 

She has light purple skin with darker purple spots everywhere (think like Kit Fisto's spots in the CW show).

She's tall, like most Twi'leks are (like she's almost looking the clones in the eyes when they meet).

Has a traditional Twi’leki name so she shortened it to Lexa for the sake of everyone else

She likes to let people try and pronounce it. She thinks it’s hilarious when they fail horribly. 

Luminara Unduli was the Jedi that discovered her on Ryloth when she was two years old. 

Her parents always wanted the best for her so they let her go.

She doesn’t really remember them since she was so young when she was discovered. 

Baby Lexa was absolutely in awe of Aayla Secura when they first met and followed her around.

She’s two years older than Ahsoka so naturally they were close as younglings. 

Absolutely got up to shenanigans, mostly instigated by Lexa.

Also close with Barriss since Force healing is Lexa's jam.

Was absolutely raging when Ahsoka was being framed for the attack on the temple. She knows Ahsoka wouldn't do something like that.

Was heartbroken over Barriss and Ahsoka's decision to leave, but supported Ahsoka's decision cause she just wants what's best for her friend.

Plo Koon took Lexa on as his Padawan when she was 14, two years before the war started. 

This only brought Lexa and Ahsoka closer and Lexa became a sort of big sister to Ahsoka. 

Plo wouldn’t let Lexa join him on any missions or campaigns for the first few months of the war. (He's secretly glad after what happened with the Malevolence).

Papa Plo loves his Padawan though and absolutely bragged about her to his troops non stop.

Naturally they all know who she is by the time she finally gets to meet them and go on her first mission. 

Wolffe was a bit hesitant at first, after all a literal child is going to join them.

Definitely gets annoyed by her and her excitement upon first meeting.

But after five minutes of knowing her he decides he will shoot anyone and anything that causes her harm. 

She really wins him and the pack over after the battle when he lost his eye. I like to think it happened not long after Lexa joined, and of course she was ready to throw hands with Ventress for hurting him. 

This sweet baby did everything she could for him and he decided then that this is his child and he will protec and he will attac.

Lexa loves the clones as much as Plo and would fight anyone who speaks badly of them.

Wolffe had a full blown panic attack after their first battle because Papa Plo really let this little baby out on the battlefield with no protection but a lightsaber. Unacceptable. (Not that he doubts her skills but he’s heard far too many horror stories from Cody about jedi losing their lightsabers mid-fight.) 

He had armor made specially for her. She doesn’t wear all of it when she fights but she wears some protection to appease him. 

Wolffe painted the Wolf Pack symbol on it himself. 

Lexa definitely didn't cry when saw it. 

Really tries to think up a way to attach her saber to her hand permanently during a battle because he’s not about to have her lose it and put herself at risk. 

Puts up with the shenanigans she gets into with Boost and Sinker.

His trouble twins are already a pain in his ass and then add his pup in there and he's in for a long day.

Was not at all prepared for the first time Lexa and Ahsoka were together after a combined campaign with the 501st. 

Lexa has trouble sleeping sometimes and thus the cuddle piles are born. 

She overthinks a lot because of her perfectionist nature. 

Wolffe doesn't give compliments often but absolutely will compliment his little pup. 

Warthog was the one that coined the nickname as a joke since Lexa liked to follow Wolffe around in the beginning. 

It stuck and now everyone knows she's the Pack's little pup. 

Taglist:

@rosechi @bobaprint @star-trekker-0013 @wolffegirlsunite @jedi-hawkins

[tea-twords]

OKAY IM FINALLY GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT THE AU I SHIFTED TO

IM WARNING YOU THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG, AND FULL OF ME RANTING ABOUT MY OWN WEIRD IDEAS, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Like I said, it was the Danganronpa Actor Au I thought up, and I've written some of it down (I'm not gonna share though). There's a bunch of rarepair couples in it because I like rarepairs, but there's also some of the normal ones.

So they all attend Hope's Peak, With the SDR2 cast being the oldest ones, the DR1 cast being a year after them, the DRV3 cast being a year after *them*, and then Komaru, Yuta, Natsumi, and Kanon.

Komaru shares the title of SHSL Little Sister with Natsumi, Yuta is the SHSL Track Racer, and Kanon is the SHSL steamstress/tailor. I know Kanon's talent dosen't make much sense for her character, but we had to have a tailor in there somewhere.

Another thing about Kanon, she is Leon's sister instead of cousin, and her full name is Kanon Kuwata instead of Kanon Nakajima. And she is most definitely *not* madly in love with Leon.

Rantaro does have 12 younger sisters in this, and one of them is part of it, her name being Tetsu Amami, and feel free to ask any questions about her, as she does have an interesting backstory! If you want to picture what she looks like, she's almost the spitting image of Kanna Kizuchi. Also, she gets really close to Miu and Kokichi.

Speaking of Miu and Kokichi, they are literally best friends behind the scenes. Them and Tetsu. Inseparable.

Komaru is very protective over Makoto and Toko. Even before hope's peak, Makoto's family practically adopted Toko, due to her rough past. Natsumi is protective over Fuyuhiko and Peko, too, but they don't need as much protection.

Tenko does not hate men. She is nice to all.

Hifumi and Teruteru are not perverts, in any way behind the scenes. After filming, you can see Hifumi profusely apologizing to Sayaka and Sayaka being like "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT". Same with Teruteru and Peko.

Izuru and Hajime are twins! Izuru has a personality, a great one in fact. Izuru is also exactly 14 minutes older than Hajime, and he will never let him live it down. Their Talents are SHSL Editor (Izuru) and SHSL Hairdresser (Hajime). I know they don't make any sense but hear me out: Izuru keeps his hair really long so Hajime could practice with it. And an editor is needed for the filming and everything, probably.

Izuru and Mahiru are the main camera men! Mahiru does the more difficult shots to film, and she taught Izuru how to film the easier things. They do eventually become a couple❤️

Celeste is quite nicer behind the scenes, actually. And the drills are not fake. That was Hajime's work. The accent is, though. Speaking of Celeste, Sonia is her blood related older sister from Noveselic! Her full name is Celestia Nevermind.

Chihiro's a bit different, too! He was originally a bit embarrassed about having to wear a skirt, but once he actually put it on, he felt like the king he is. He's also less timid and meek. He still is, of course, but if you offered him $50 if he said "Fuck", he would do it without hesitation, much to the surprise of literally everyone. Then he'd hold out his hand like "There, I said it. I want my money now."

Byakuya is not an asshole. He was at first, but he dropped it once he got close to everyone. It was Komaru that nudged him to drop it, so they are pretty close and Komaru also gives him her protection.

Tsumugi is the one who wrote all of the scripts, and pretty much came up with everything herself. We respect her for that in this Au.

Nagito and Mikan met a little while before Hope's Peak. They were friends when they arrived and joined their class.

Junko voiced all of the Monokuma's. All of them. Monokubs as well. She has really good voice talent, though being the SHSL Model. She did the "So long, bear well!" Thing with all five voices at once. It's literally scary, Chihiro once cried out of fear.

Hiyoko is not mean! At all! She's just as innocent as she looks, and didn't swear at all before they began to film. Fuyuhiko had to teach her how to swear without stuttering. Mahiru was horrified.

Although everyone is friends with pretty much everyone, there are a few little groups in them. The one of focus mostly is Tsumugi, Kaede, Shuichi, and Rantaro. Tsumugi killing off Rantaro and Kaede first, and it being her doing all along was just her being a friend:). Also love suites. Love suites were to just to torture poor Shuichi. They had to act them out. Not the actual...like...that..., Just the dialogues and the motions. Which are still pretty fucking embarrassing to act. Shuichi cried during the filming of a total of 6 love suites.

Himiko👏can👏do👏magic👏! Magic is real here. Himiko has been blessed with the magic. She can float things, and saw people in half, and escape water tanks and things like that. But there is truly no trick, only maaaagiiic.

Now for the part you all like: Tickles. Tickles happen very often. Very very often. Himiko actually had learned that she could tickle people with her Magic. Kokichi runs in the room with his class, screaming, telling them to run for their lives, for Himiko is unstoppable now. Nearly the whole class fucking books it out of the room, Maki, Kirumi, Kork, and Ryoma sitting there like "Aha I'm in danger", while Tsumugi and Angie laugh in not being ticklish.

Hrjsjjehejeheuahe thank you for reading this far and listening to my rant about my Alternative Universe Fantasies, everyone is 100% free to ask any questions!

[marie12141989]

It’s A Cold And It’s A Broken Hallelujah part eighteen

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Word Count: 1628

You stared at the spot where Castiel had been a second ago, there was no way he was gone. He had just been there. He had just been right infront of you, you crawled to the spot where he had been at and started to rub your hands over the floor he had been standing on. Dean watched you with tears rolling down his cheeks not sure what you were doing until he realized that you were talking "Cas? Castiel? Castiel? Castiel! Cas!" you said, as you started crawling around on the floor. Dean lowered his hands and watched as you frantically looked all over the room for said angel, he quickly got up onto his feet when your shouts became screams.

He walked over and put his hands on your back. You spun around ready to fight who ever was coming after you only to realize that it was Dean "Dean. Dean he's gone. He's gone. He's gone! He'sgonehe'sgonehe'sgonehe'sgonehe'sgone!" you shouted as you curled into a ball. Dean felt his heart break all over again while he gathered you up in his arms while he listened to your mantra.

"I know. I know sweetheart. I know." he whispered in your ear. He buried your face in his chest as you let out another scream of agony, he looked up at the ceiling cursing Chuck for taking the one good thing you had probably ever had in your life.

-------------------------------------With-Adam-and-Serafina---------------------------------------------------

Adam was lounging in one of their chairs when he heard Serafina gasp. Worried he got up and quickly rushed to her side. "Sera what's wrong?" he asked when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Castiel." she whispered looking up at him.

"Who?" he asked confused.

"Castiel. He's one of my brothers. He's...........he's gone Adam." she said as more tears fell.

"I didn't know you could sense that." he said surprised.

"Normally I can't tell which of my siblings has died. There's so many of us and I've been gone for so long I've forgotten what most of their grace feels like but Castiel's soulmate. She's in utter agony, it's so stong that every angel can feel it." she told him before she wrapped her arms around Adam's neck before she broke out into sobs herself.

"Well if you can feel it that distinctly I wonder who else can." Adam said while he rubbed her back.

-------------------------------------------In-Heaven----------------------------------------------------------

Every angel stopped and fell to their knees as your sorrow hit them. Naomi let out a gasp as she sank to her knees, she had always laughed at the human expression of feeling like one got hit by a freight train but now she was sure she knew the feeling. "Naomi what's going on? I feel so strange." one of the male angels asked.

"Castiel. He's gone." she whispered. The angel blinked at her in confusion.

"He's died before. What makes this so different?" he asked not understanding.

"I don't think he's coming back. And his soulmate is unknowingly letting all of us know. What we're feeling right now must be her sorrow." Naomi said. Suddenly she felt something wet on her cheek and she wiped at it to see water on her finger. She stared at the wet spot in surprise before she realized that there was more water on her cheeks.

"Naomi. You're crying." the angel pointed out. She looked up at him while taking several deep breaths.

"So are you. I wonder if we're being made to grieve with her." Naomi said as she wiped more tears away with the sleeve of her coat.

------------------------------------------With-Chuck/Amara----------------------------------------------------

Chuck was walking through a park when he felt it, his steps faltered for a second and he looked down at his left foot in surprise. He was still getting use to sharing a body with Amara and if the two of them weren't in sync something would go wrong. "What the hell?" he muttered when he realized that her side had stopped. Suddenly he found himself kneeling on the ground. "Amara what is wrong with you?" he growled in annoyance.

"Castiel. He's gone. He's your child! Don't you care that your son is gone brother?!?" Amara demanded.

"He was a failed attempt at the perfect angel. What ever happened to him is what he deserved." Chuck said trying to play off that he did feel a small pang in his chest when he felt Castiel being taken. He let out a chuckle as he reached up with his right hand and wiped away a stray tear from his left cheek. "Come now sister. There's no reason for this." he said before forcing his body to comply once again.

---------------------------------------------Back-At-The-Bunker-----------------------------------------------

Dean had never felt as helpless as he did at that moment, Sam was in his room mourning losing Eileen once again while you sat on the floor catatonic. Eventually he helped you up off of the floor and the two of you slowly shuffled to your room. "Let me know if you need anything okay?" he asked while looking you in the eyes. You just nodded your head yes before walking into your room. Dean stood a few feet away not sure if he should actually leave you alone or not before he headed off to another part of the bunker, he figured that he would leave you alone for about fifteen or so minutes before he would check on you and Sam once again.

You slowly looked around your room while wiping at both your eyes and your nose, this isn't how Cas would want you to be. He would want you to pull through and move on with your life even if you were pretty sure that it wasn't possible right now. You were straightening up some things to try and take your mind off of what had just happened when you saw one of his pairs of pants on the floor "Castiel if you were here I'd be chewing you out right now. I told you a million times to throw your dirty clothes in the basket." you mumbled to yourself before picking them up. You checked the pockets for anything and felt something in the right pocket. In confusion you grabbed it and pulled it out to see a small square jewlery box, it just added to your confusion since he knew that you didn't wear earrings to often due to the risk of them being ripped out and causing damage being to high.

It was to small to have a necklace in it or bracelet in it "I don't wear rings either. Why would he get this?" you wondered out loud before opening the box up. You let out a gasp and the box fell from your hands, you covered your mouth and stared down at the ring that was sitting in the cushion of the box. You remembered about a year ago when you had been on a hunt with him and the two of you had stopped at a jewelry store. You had been looking at a few engagement rings and while the two of you were waiting for the jeweler to come back with the info you needed the two of you talked about the different kinds of jewelry you liked. He had remembered exactly what kind of engagement ring you would of liked to have if anyone had ever wanted to propose to you and he had gone out and got it for you.

You bent down and picked the box up before looking over the ring. You pulled it out of the pillow and slid it onto your finger, it was a perfect fit. You dropped the box again and put one hand on the floor to brace yourself. You didn't know when he had been planning on asking but something told you that since he had it on him at some point he had wanted to do it in the near future and had just never got around to asking. You climbed up onto your bed and layed down on his side of the bed, you buried your face in his pillow and took several deep breaths.

You knew that eventually the smell would fade away and that eventually you would forget what he smelled like. That thought terrified you, if you forgot what he smelled like would you forget the sound of his voice too? Would you forget how blue his eyes were or how much you loved running your fingers through his soft hair. You wondered what else about him you would forget before it was finally your turn to cross over. And then you wondered, would you be stuck in Heaven? Would you just be stuck in an endless loop of reliving "your best memories" or would someone take pity on you and send you to the empty instead?

Would any of this even matter if you couldn't beat Chuck? And then to your horror you realized that if Chuck had his way it definitely wouldn't matter because if he succeeded in "fixing" Castiel you would mean nothing to him. You would rather die a thousand times over than never be with him again, even with all of the ups and downs. You looked at the ring on your finger one last time before you looked up at the ceiling "Michael........please........help us............we need help...........Michael." you called out, you weren't surprised when you didn't get any reply. You let out a sad laugh before turning your head away you were so busy cursing him in your head that you didn't hear the soft flutter of wings and you didn't sense the other person in your room now until you felt a hand softly touch your arm.

"Y/N?" came Michael's voice.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

[roadtophantom]

Down Once More - RTP Does a Double Show

(or as they say, a two doe shay - so in that light, this review is hella long)

March 16, 2019

It wasn't planned but to take advantage of a discount, I got a second ticket targeting a Saturday matinee show so I could catch Clara. This plan backfired as I already inadvertently caught her the previous week. Being that the Theatre at Solaire is hours away where I am and I don't want to shell out over a grand for Grab, I decided to see the evening show too.

The fun part about matinees is it's not a rush hour so the travel time is cut significantly. We got to the theatre early enough to take all the photos we want without queueing plus some decent drive thru food. We got balc right seats this time, second row. I certainly missed the prime visibility of orch seats but liked being able to see the whole set.

Clara was on as Christine and I'm delighted to say that as early as a week-gap she's able to put different touches to her Christine so you see a somewhat different interpretation. This one was less afraid and was drawn more to MOTN, that she was able to show a dilemma between the Phantom and Raoul. What I gathered from my first viewing of her was that she's obviously Team Raoul all the way. I mean, sure that is a very valid interpretation but I guess I also like a Christine who is able to show a conflict, some sort of loyalty to her 'teacher' who she didn't just happen to meet yesterday. So there's some joy when she sings AOM.

A notable scene is how she took a while to unmask the Phantom (Jonathan) The instrumentation has already changed and she was still peeling the mask. Jonathan took that extended lull as fuel for anger that Clara cowered in a fetal position as Jonathan, imposing figure that he is, hovered over her. He then punches the floor with his fist and kicked the mandarin hat (which he never got to wore) away. Pretty intense. By STYDI he becomes remorseful as he lamented 'Oh Christine'.

One thing I love about Matt's Raoul is we don't just know he is well to borrow from the Kingsmen: manners maketh man. He isn't only a gentleman at Christine but also to the managers when he makes it a point to excuse himself with a hand gesture when he is switching his attention to Carlotta, Piangi and Girys. And I think one takeaway I got from his Raoul is how he regarded the angel with dismissal and arrogance but slowly come to horror to know that this is a real thing plaguing Christine and that leads him to do what it takes even risk his life. Idk, he's just very real to me. When he does the disaster will be yours, he mounts all his  fiery passion to threaten what he knows is larger than him.

Also the travelator worked and he does jump so whee.

Again I adored the ballerinas during the rehearsals because they're just playful girlfriends, when they get excited at the introduction of the Vicomte, when one of them yawns tiredly and someone gets instruction from the slave master, love love these cute dynamics. Plus they are so nice and supportive of Christine. Meg is just a dear, and I love how Kiruna-Lind nods sheepishly with a “I’ll be a good girl cross my heart” smile at her mom before stomping right off. 

I finally looked up that lyric change in Notes, it's now using Broadway's: "Mystified baffled Surete say,we are mystified -"

After the show I accompanied my cousin and sister to stage door, whereupon Meghan came in looking like a rockstar, black ensemble, hat on. She's still somewhat ill but she's going on and it's to be appreciated because that means my evening ticket will finally see the other Christine.

My seats these time are way up because I got the cheapest tier. So it was going to be interesting to see Meghan who is probably one of the most petite ladies (she's probably 5 foot and a couple inches). But I immediately see how she compensates for the height with her hands. In Hannibal she grabs on to the nearest ballerina or Meg to seek comfort or to show excitement when the announcement of Vicomte came on, she holds Reyer's hands as he congratulates her. Later in the show she uses them in more heartbreaking ways (to plea for help at Madame Giry at Notes II and the managers after the PONR unmasking but all for naught).

I have to mention this, Meghan does not dance the slave girls track (and later most of the Masquerade track) but this may be because of an injury. Do not take my word for it, but it would make sense why Clara was on instead during the media call. I don't begrudge Meghan too in going off stage especially to protect her health.

BUT when she came on for Think of Me? Holy. Smokes. THAT GLORIOUS VOICE. Where did that come from such a tiny frame? It's so big and whole and powerful and she sings and extends the cadenza effortlessly. You'll know this is opera-trained.

My take with her Christine is that she takes on  Meghan's personality, especially in Act I where she is bubbly and friendly with the ballerinas and when she tries to explain to Raoul that the angel of music is very strict (she does it sheepishly). Listening to her radio interviews it makes sense how it sometimes blurs who Meghan is and who Christine is.

She also mentioned how she and the character are utterly consumed by music, and she shows it not just as a trance state but also in a Sarah Brightmanesque possessed state. I want to take a closer look at this because from afar there's a danger of looking like she's doing nothing when she's been doing big gestures with her hands earlier. So it looks like on and off. But maybe up close it's possible she communicates more.

Her strength and her strongest weapon is undoubtedly that voice, because with it she isn't afraid to make the songs her own, to manipulate them as the scene demands for it and as she needs it. Her vocal control is incredible. She is able to communicate fear, panic and passion effortlessly because of that malleable voice that she need not stay the course of the song but give it her interpretation ("in that, <i>strange</i>. sweet. sound.") She could cry and scream in song if that makes sense? I just looooooove listening to her sing and there are just so much dimensions in her interpretation that way. And there's even more to it when she performs with her cast mates.

Okay this brings me to the next part of the review. I saw Jonathan earlier with Clara and it went without a hitch so to speak. In figure-skating speak he landed those lutz. The evening, told a different story. When he couldn't extend his BE in MOTN I started to get worried.

The figure-skating analogy will become very clear towards the rest of the performance as I waited in bated anticipation how he'll try to land his jumps. This was me the whole time basically.

He started stumbling losing breath and ending in rasps towards the end of Act I. Obviously this is not his norm, I've seen him 4 times after all, including the earlier matinee. There was something wrong. But the question now is what he'll do in the vocally demanding AND fast-paced Act II full of quadruple jumps?

Well Jonathan had to do a series of quick decisions, there were words he had to speak more softly, keys that he had to changed and lyrics recited so he can reserve his strength and give them to the money makers. But all in all? Led to a beautiful heart-wrenching performance as he took the show in One Emotional Ride I've never witnessed before. And I believe the person sustaining him, receiving this acting and spinning it to gold? Meghan. There was teamwork happening during the Final Lair as both characters were giving one fiery performance and receiving it, enhancing it, supporting another by giving so much to work with. Meghan comes at you at Final Lair with such fervor. There was a part where she rips the veil so angrily the hair mic went POOF but this is the kind of energy she comes at Jonathan. I don't know if I've seen a Final Lair come like a frenzied hurricane of adrenaline, distress and fury. There were a lot of tears on that stage. Jonathan’s limitations worked for him in the end especially in conveying the anguish of the character. In this way, the show finished in a heart-wrenching note AND thunderous applause.

Oh when Meghan returned the ring, the Phantom clung to her hand and they remained that way for a bit, until Meghan regretably retracted the outstretched arm and left.

So. Um, wow. It was a hell of a ride, and I have to say, guiltily, that I liked how unpredictable it was. That was just pure raw stage energy and thespians are olympians too.

I definitely need to see more of these two before the show closes in close to 2 weeks (cue weeps). 

If you got as far as this um, thank you. You are very patient. I have no reward but here's me wearing the PHwhdjfis hoodie