#while olimar is trying so very hard to just be normal

[fullmoonfireball]

god i wish i could put together any sort of coherent analysis instead of my brain just keysmashing at Thoughts

[cheemers-writing-archive]

If They Were in Smash: Jotaro

Yeah. You knew I had to start with him. Literally one of the most iconic anime characters, and the most recognizable from my favorite series.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Attacks

Jab: just a quick little punch

Three-hit jab: punch, punch again, and knee. No flurry attack.

Side tilt: long kick

Up tilt: fist swings upwards

Down tilt: Jotaro bends down and trips the opponent with his feet in whatever direction he’s facing

Side smash: Jotaro leans forward and punches. Another button press will have Star Platinum elongate the punch.

Up smash: Jotaro punches upward. Another button press will have Star Platinum elongate the punch.

Down smash: Jotaro does the splits and kicks opponents from both sides. Another button press will have Star Platinum elongate the kick from both sides.

Nair: Jotaro punches in front of him, Star Platinum punches behind

Fair: normal punch forward

Bair: stylish kick backward

Up air: stylish kick upward

Dair: Star Platinum punches downward

Neutral special: same as Jotaro’s jab, but with Star Platinum. Also, instead of a three-hit jab, Star does a flurry attack.

Side special: Star Platinum uses Star Finger, which covers about an eighth of Final Destination

Up special: Star Platinum blows air from his mouth really hard and sends Jotaro straight up. This move doesn’t hurt, but it can blow opponents downward if they aren’t standing on a platform. Inspired from Enya’s Justice fight, except instead of inhaling, Star is exhaling.

Down special: Star Platinum: The World. Works like Wario’s Waft, when fully charged time stops (including the music and timer if there is one) for two seconds (not canonically accurate, but Jotaro would be broken if you could stop time for 5 seconds). Anyone who is hit moves a bit then stops until the effect ends. All normal launch rates will continue after time resumes.

Forward throw: tosses the opponent’s body aside in front of Jotaro

Back throw: tosses the opponent’s body aside behind Jotaro

Up throw: throws the opponent’s body upward, and Star Platinum adds one last little punch

Down throw: slams the opponent’s body down, and Star Platinum adds one last little flurry of punches

Final smash: Jotaro’s final move against Dio. Star Platinum puts so much pressure on the opponent they explode (in a cartoonish, non-gory way. Gotta keep that age rating low, folks). Kills instantly if the opponent is over 100 percent.

Extra animations

Entrance: Jotaro punches through the ground, similar to the Wheel of Fortune fight

Idle animation 1: Jotaro adjusts his hat

Idle animation 2: Star Platinum appears and punches the air

Up taunt: Jotaro points to the sky, like in the DiU openings

Side taunt: Jotaro points to the side

Down taunt: Jotaro pulls his hat down and says his famous line, Yare Yare Daze

Victory poses

End music: the last five bars to Stand Proud (if you don’t know anything about music, it’s basically the final few notes before the end)

First pose: Jotaro looks up from the brim of his hat and says nothing.

Second pose: Jotaro throws a piece of paper at the camera and says, “here’s your receipt.” The dramatic slowdown (when the screen shows the victor’s name) happens as the paper passes in front of the screen, and Jotaro just keeps walking away after the slowdown.

Third pose (which only happens if Jotaro won while over 100 percent on his last stock with any of his part 4 outfits): Jotaro looks at the ground, and says, “I’m glad I got to see your growth.” Right after the dramatic slowdown, Jotaro falls to the floor.

Stage: Cairo

The stage is one of the types that moves around and lands in different locations. It starts on the side of Dio’s castle at sunset. It moves to the clock tower after some very long traveling, where you can see Joseph, Kakyoin, and Dio flying through the air. After some time, a stage hazard will appear: Hierophant Green’s tripwires. If you land on one, you’ll be barraged with emeralds. The stage moves away before *major spoiler* happens, and lands after some time on the sidewalks of Cairo. No stage hazards in this part, but in the background you can see the scenery change slightly from time to time. While the stage is moving for a third time, it stops suddenly in the air, along with the music and timer, for five seconds. The players can still move. In those five seconds, some knives fly through the air, and can hit players. The final part of the stage is the bridge. On this part, the stage hazard is a huge road roller that slams on a random part of the stage after some time. Anyone who gets hit by it has an instant KO. However, you can see the shadow coming before it lands, so you can get out of the way. After that, it loops back to the beginning of the stage.

Palette swaps

Default colors (swap 1): Jotaro’s anime outfit in part 3

Swap 2: Jotaro’s manga outfit in part 3

Swap 3: Jotaro’s outfit in part 4

Swap 4: Jotaro’s outfit in part 6

Swap 5: Jotaro’s part 3 outfit, with Dio’s colors (yellow cap/hair, yellow overcoat, black shirt, yellow pants, green shoes)

Swap 6: Jotaro’s part 3 outfit, with Kakyoin’s colors (red cap/hair, green overcoat, green shirt, green pants, brown shoes)

Swap 7: Jotaro’s part 4 outfit, with Josuke’s colors (purple cap/hair, dark purple overcoat, yellow shirt, dark purple pants, brown shoes)

Swap 8: Jotaro’s part 6 outfit, with Jolyne’s colors (green hat/hair, light blue overcoat shirt pants and shoes)

Classic mode: Helping Hands

Theme: fighters that have helpers, and the helpers are not playable. Kind of replicating the idea of Stands.

First battle: Joker in Mementos

Second battle: Duck Hunt in Duck Hunt

Third battle: Pokémon Trainer in Pokémon Stadium (this is an exception to the rule because it’s really the trainer that tells the Pokémon what to do, similar to Stand users telling their Stand what to do)

Fourth battle: Banjo and Kazooie in Spiral Mountain

Fifth battle: Olimar in Distant Planet

Sixth battle: Rosalina and Luma in Mario Galaxy

Final boss: Master Hand and Crazy Hand (I know this is kind of a stretch, but you try naming another classic mode boss battle with two bosses on screen at the same time. Also, helping HANDS.)

Palutena’s guidance

Pit: Look at this guy! He probably thinks he’s so tough.

Palutena: Jotaro thinks he’s tough because he is tough. His looks do not deceive the eye.

Viridi: It’s a shame his friends call him Jojo. Really brings down his intimidation levels if you ask me.

Palutena: Jotaro has fought lots of strong enemies before. He fought against a vampire who could stop time… and won!

Viridi: He can also stop time himself. If you suddenly go flying without Jojo punching you, or you see him teleport, don’t be surprised.

Palutena: Well, he also has that Stand, Star Platinum. Unless you have a Stand, too, Pit, you won’t be able to see his, which means you’re wide open for any attacks.

Pit: Just say I’ve already lost the match, why don’t you?

Palutena: Just like every fighter in Smash, Jotaro is a formidable opponent, but not impossible to beat. You can do it if you try.

Pit: Right. Just gotta stay away from him at all costs. *pause* You don’t think Star Platinum has that big of a range, do you?

Viridi: Good luck, Pit. You’re gonna need it.

Reveal trailer

The trailer starts with Joker comboing Mario into oblivion in the actual game. After Mario is defeated, it cuts to a cutscene with Joker falling back to the ground. Morgana says, “Woohoo! Another one down! There’s nobody here who can combat against you, Joker!”

This next scene has the camera on the ground a ways away from Joker. He taunts when he gets back to the ground, saying, “Alright, who’s next?”

In front of the camera, a leg stomps to the ground. As the camera pans up around the new figure, he says, “So, I finally found you…” When the camera gets to Jotaro’s face, he finishes with, “...copycat.” He summons Star Platinum and the splash screen appears:

Jotaro stands up to fight!

After that is the moveset showcase. You already know Jotaro’s moves.

The extra scene after the Smash logo fades away is Jotaro meeting with Simon and Richter. “Vampire hunters?” he asks. The two Belmonts nod. Jotaro nods back and goes on his way.

Extra tidbits

Jotaro would have an option to play his Japanese voice or English voice in the English version of the game.

Like many of the godlike characters in this game, Jotaro teleports when dodging.

Star Platinum only holds one item in the entire gam, the baseball bat. Jotaro holds the rest.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

The Witch and the Plumber

(An idea I’ve had for years now, this takes place back during Smash 4, around the time Bayonetta joined. I always liked the idea of her and Luigi being friends, and her helping him gain more confidence to come out of his shadow.)

(Also I normally would’ve put some “-a"s after some of Luigi’s words here, but I’ve noticed that isn’t very common in prompts here and I figured it may be just so the reader can mentally place them where they deem fit.)

He clearly had skill… even if he wasn’t showing much of it.

The battle that Bayonetta had just witnessed was pretty low on the end of the spectrum of spectacle. Sure, Olimar had pulled out some fairly good fighting and barely even looked like he had broken a sweat, but his opponent, Luigi, hadn’t offered the kind of struggle that the Witch had hoped he would. He’d done a good job of staying alive, but he was far too passive, far too prone to reacting to his opponent rather than letting his opponent react to him.

What particularly frustrated her about it was that she knew he didn’t have to be like this. He was the other Mario Brother, for goodness sake - she knew recognition and seniority was far from the only reason he was a longtime member of Smash. He just wasn’t firing on all cylinders yet.

Well, if you wanted something fixed right, no better way than to do it yourself.

Right on time, Luigi exited the doors to the Smash arena, dropping in one of the nearby chairs like a sack of potatoes. He heaved a breath as he wiped off the sweat of his most recent defeat.

"Another bumpy flight, I see,” Bayonetta said, causing Luigi to look up in surprise as he finally noticed she was there.

He looked back down, mulling over what happened. “Just not on my A-game today, I guess.”

“Hm. Well, it’s been a long time since you’ve been on your A-game, if what I’ve seen was anything to go by.”

The green-capped man shook his head. “I don’t get it. I was pretty good even back in the Subspace War - heck, I even helped DeDeDe bring back hope just when we were all down for the count!” He looked back up at her with regret on his face. “I just don’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong lately.”

Bayonetta regarded him for a moment. She then stepped forward and gripped his wrist, sharply pulling him as he let out a startled yelp, and began making her way down the hall.

“Come along, then. It’s time we whipped you back into fighting shape.”

“Wait, what?!” he exclaimed. “Wha- what do you mean?”

…

Luigi threw himself backwards as Bayonetta shot out another kick, just barely managing to get clear. His back nearly went ninety degrees before he pulled himself back up, relieved that he had managed to avoid the hit… only a second before she threw out another kick that launched him right into the air. He had only a moment to widen his eyes in surprise as she leapt up and swing an axe-kick into his chest that launched him back into the hard ground of the Battlefield, a resounding “Oof” coming out of his mouth.

He slowly stood up just as the witch began speaking. “The problem isn’t in your moves. You’ve spent years perfecting those just fine. The issue’s just in your head.”

Luigi raised his eyebrow and tapped his temple. “My… head?”

Bayonetta nodded. “You could have the best fighting style in the world and it still wouldn’t mean anything…” Suddenly, she pulled out her guns and aimed them right in Luigi’s direction. “…If you don’t have the drive to use it!”

He yelped in surprise right before she began firing. His body jolted and swerved in every which way as he dodged her bullets, his nerves tight as a tourniquet with how close each one got.

The firing noises ceased, and the bullets stopped flying. Luigi let out a sigh of relief, still unscathed… just as she leapt forward and threw a jab right to his face, knocking him over again.

Her body relaxed and she put her hands on her hips as he began getting up again. “Confidence in a mind is like fuel in a car. Trying to work without it is utter folly. Before you even attempt to do something, you must believe that you can do it.”

Luigi dusted himself off, taking in her words. Confidence… was that his problem this whole time? Even now, he was mostly playing on the defensive, so busy trying to avoid her attacks that he hadn’t even attempted to get in one of his own.

He suddenly noticed that he was right on the edge of the Battlefield, only a couple paces away from dropping into the depths below. At this moment, Bayonetta rushed forward, grabbing him by surprise and pushing him even closer to the dropoff point. His heart raced as he saw how close he was to going down yet again.

“You had a catchphrase from a while back, didn’t you?” the witch asked, the small smile still on her face, but her eyes now steeled with determination. “I believe it had something to do with your number…”

Luigi blinked in surprise, shocked that someone else still remembered the old phrase he had once used so fondly long ago.

“Tell me again,” she continued, “What was it, exactly?”

Luigi grabbed the wrist of the hand she was using to hold him, gripping tightly to ensure he wouldn’t accidentally fall off the stage. “I… I’m-a Luigi… number-a one.”

Bayonetta looked off into the distance for a moment, almost looking bored before turning back to him. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. What did you say?”

The plumber gritted his teeth and placed his other hand on her shoulder. No time to hesitate now. “I’m-a Luigi,” he began, just as he dropped his posture lower and strengthened his stance before shoving the witch back, undoing her grip. “Number-a one!”

Recovering from the sudden force, Bayonetta smiled and charged in again. A flurry of blows followed from each of them, both avoiding each of their attacks just as much as they were dishing them out. Block, punch, duck, kick, swerve, strike; a deadly tango of sheer force.

“Say it again. Louder, if you’d please.”

“I’m-a Luigi,” he repeated, “Number-a one!”

“Come on, now, loud-!”

But just before she could finish, a powerful uppercut hit her right in the jaw. A truckload of force mashed her head straight up, pulling the rest of her body with it.

“I’m-a Luigi!” the green-capped man roared, his fist only breaking contact with her when the kinetic punch threw her upwards. “Number-a one!”

The witch flew through the air as if catapulted, the sudden blow being too much of a shock for her to even let out a yell. After a few seconds of being airborne, the weight of gravity pulled her back to the ground, creating an audible pound upon her body making impact.

Luigi looked towards her in shock upon realizing what exactly he’d just done. “Bayo! Are you okay?” he asked, rushing over to her.

She slowly pulled herself up, giving a few coughs that transformed into chuckles of amusement. “My my… looks like I was right about you, ‘Green Thunder’.”

Luigi cocked his head, his past fear turning into confusion. “Green Thunder? What are you talking-” Suddenly he jolted with realization as memories came flooding back into him, flushing his face red. “Ohhhh no no no… how did you find out about that?”

Bayonetta gave another laugh. “When you’re serious about being a Smash Brother, you’ve got to do as much research as you can into everyone’s history… even the more unscrupulous parts.”

Luigi quickly shook his hands, still red from embarrassment. “Please, please, don’t tell anyone about that. I swear, I didn’t mean to do any of that stuff!”

She waved her hand through the air, still grinning. “Relax, it’s fine. It can be our little secret if you want.”

The green-capped plumber crossed his arms and looked down towards the ground, pouting. “It was supposed to just be me and Mario’s secret…”

Bayonetta turned her gaze back to him, looking more serious. “You have to admit, though: Mr. L did have one thing right.”

Luigi looked back up at her, confused. “Really? What?”

“Confidence,” she explained. “He may have been quite a nasty man, but he understood the value of trusting yourself.”

“Really?”

“Take me, for instance,” she continued, holding up her guns. “My weapons, my magic, all of it - would be completely useless if I didn’t think I could handle it. Of course, thinking you have all the skill in the world when you still have more to learn is just as foolish, but believing yourself incapable and ignoring your strengths is no less shortsighted.”

Luigi pondered this. Ignoring his own strengths… perhaps she really was right. He was still in the Smash Brothers for a reason, and he had to acknowledge that. To do any less would be the same as letting them all down, and he couldn’t do that. Not to the people he had fought alongside for years. Definitely not to his brother.

He turned back to the witch, a small smile on his face. “I… think I understand now.”

She walked over before gripping his shoulder strongly. “Even in the darkest times, you’re stronger than you know it. Just as the rest of us are. The next time I see you in battle, you’d better make sure you use that strength.”

Luigi nodded, pride surging within him. “Okey-dokey!”

With that, he turned back and headed right for the exit from the arena. As he left the Battlefield behind, he thought back to the speech Master Hand had given them at the start of the fourth Smash generation, just how he’d given one at the start of every generation:

“For more than fifteen years, the Smash Brothers have done two things: we train each other, and we defend Nintendo’s honor! Never forget that; you’re all brothers to the end, and not all the Primids in Subspace can overrun you!”

[pikkish-moved]

Best of Both Worlds ~ 5

In which Olimar and Alph consider the ways in which one becomes an expert in xenobiology

Chapter 5

Olimar and Alph reached the Drake’s cargo bay with ease, but from there, things got a little trickier. When they got there, Alph activated the computer terminal beside the door and tried to check how bad the damage was.

“This… isn’t good,” he said quietly. “It looks like the entire cargo bay is already saturated with nitrogen and oxygen… it’s almost equal with the atmosphere outside.”

“So just opening the door will let a considerable amount of it in here,” Olimar responded, already putting on his helmet. “We’ll have to get in and close the door fast.”

Alph just nodded, then hesitated. “Olimar-...”

“Mh?”

“You’re- awfully calm about all this.”

Olimar just let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. Mentally, he was just about screaming. “Not really, to tell the truth. You just learn to not panic when your suit’s malfunctioning forced sleep mode could send you into a weeklong sleep at the slightest shock.”

After a second, Alph smiled and nodded. “Oh! Right. I guess you were pretty happy to get a new suit, then.”

For as fond and sentimental about his old spacesuit as he was, Olimar had to admit he had been more than willing to accept the Koppaiates’ offer of a new one. It was a little strange to be wearing white instead of beige, to have such a lightweight life support pack on his back, as opposed to his own bulky, old unit, and to have a suit that actually fit, rather than the slightly baggy, chafing ill fit of his old suit.

So yes. He had been happy to get a new suit. Even if the design, while still fitting with his preferred red color scheme, was Koppaiate, the suit was comfortable, and thankfully lacking in a forced sleep mode.

“Still,” he said, smiling wryly back at Alph, “having a faulty suit taught me to keep a level head, and considering our current situation, I think that’s a rather invaluable asset!”

“Ha, yeah! ...Anyway, I’m ready to go, I think. Are you?”

Olimar nodded. “There’s another control panel on the inside of the door, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Here’s how we’ll do this: open the door for me, and close it as soon as I’m through. Then, once you’re ready, I’ll open the door for you from inside. We’ll have to open the door twice, but I think we’ll be able to get it open and closed faster than if we both try to go through at the same time.”

Alph just nodded.

Minutes later, the pair were walking into the cargo bay, peering out at the array of crates and boxes. A number of said storage units had also apparently come loose from the various straps and moorings meant to hold them in place and broken in the crash, resulting in a mess of a variety of supplies and debris scattered about the room.

For a long moment, Olimar and Alph just stood near the door. Then Olimar turned to Alph. “Any idea where the medical supplies are?”

Alph looked away sheepishly. “N-no. Not really.”

Olimar’s brow furrowed. “I thought you said you saw the boxes in here?”

“I did!” Alph gestured defensively. “There were just-... a lot of them. And I don’t know which one the crates the medicine we’re looking for is in!”

...Of course. Olimar just looked back at the rows of stacked crates. He couldn’t say he was surprised, not really. This wasn’t horribly unexpected. Still, when he had been traveling to and from the planet- or on any trip into deep space, being a freighter pilot and all- he had kept his cargo much better organized, especially the vital things like medical supplies. And this was mildly disappointing, even for Koppaiates, for a mission to save a planet.

Eventually, he just sighed and shook his head. “Oh well, not much we can do now. You start on the left, and I’ll start on the right.” He started forward.

Alph followed. Then, “Oh! And remember to keep an eye out for the damage that’s causing the leak! The sooner we know what it is, the sooner we can get it fixed up.”

“Right.”

And then they got to work, checking the crates.

It wasn’t a particularly difficult business, searching for the medicine. Most of the crates were labeled, and those that weren’t could be opened up relatively quickly, and only the those that contained anything health related had to be searched through, anything else could be closed back up and stowed away.

The problem was the sheer size of the cargo bay. It was meant to be able to carry astonishing amounts of fruit and seeds in addition to everything already there. And there was quite a bit already there, and the contents of the broken crates had been scattered all across both sections of the cargo bay. Eventually it was decided that they should search what was in the crates first, and if the medicine didn’t present itself, they would attempt to hunt it down in the sprawling mess of the wreckage, and maybe try toclean up a bit in the process.

As the stacks of crates were quite high, and they were both starting on opposite sides of the cargo bay, they couldn’t see each other, and with the crash having created a breach in the ship’s hull, they didn’t know what other hazards might have also sprung up since. So they kept their comms on, keeping up an idle chatter about nothing in particular. At some point, Alph tripped over a PikPik carrot from a crate of such that had broken, which, at his questioning of Olimar as to why the Hocotatian had packed so many carrots, launched into Olimar explaining how, as he had been asked to come on the mission primarily to keep the crew informed on the wildlife on PNF-404, he had to also do research on any new lifeforms they came across, and how exactly he did that using carrots.

“So basically,” Alph said over the com, and Olimar could practically hear the goofy grin in his voice, “what you’re saying is, you just throw carrots at giant bugs.”

“Yes, basically,” Olimar replied, laughing, as he pride open a crate. Inside was a variety of miscellaneous research equipment no doubt meant for Brittany’s use. He carefully replaced the lid and moved on to the next crate.

“Hah! You mean to tell me that all you have to do to become an expert in xenobiology is throw some carrots at some aliens?”

Finding the next few crates normally labeled, Olimar continued on. “Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. It also requires taking detailed notes, and not getting eaten by said alien while you’re throwing carrots at it.”

“Oh,” came the response. “I guess that does sound very complicated. What a shame, I was going to try to become the next leading alien expert, but taking all those notes sounds just a little too hard!”

Olimar laughed, and was about to respond, but Alph spoke up again, this time, his voice much more somber. “Olimar? I- I found the breach. I think you’re going to want to see this.”

A sinking feeling in his stomach, Olimar replaced the top of the crate he was investigating, and turned to go find Alph.

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[nickyvmlp]

My Top 10 Characters I Want in Smash Ultimate

I got a couple of requests for this in my last Smash reaction video, and I didn’t want to make it a full video, so it’ll go here, HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  (Also, none of my top 10 need to be echo fighters, but I’ll throw in a few echos near the end.)

10) Alex Roivas from Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem

This will not happen, especially with Simon and Richter filling the horror game niche, but I can dream, darnit.  For the unaware, Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem was a 2002 GameCube exclusive psychological horror game; it’s basically Resident Evil meets Call of Cthulhu, and it’s my favorite horror game of all time. In the game, you play as Alex Roivas, a few of her ancestors, and few other schmucks across history unfortunate enough to stumble across an ancient book called the Tome of Eternal Darkness, which drags them into a conflict that could destroy the world.  Alex ends up using the knowledge she’s learned from the Tome to stop the rise of three ancient deities, each bent on world domination.  So in Smash, she could have the Tome at her disposal and could even carry it into battle like Robin does.  Her standard attacks can involve normal weaponry she uses like guns and knives and stuff, while her special attacks can all involve using the Tome to summon something.  For her Final Smash, she can hit everyone in a set radius around her with a huge sanity effect that adds 100% damage and breaks the shield of anyone caught in it, leaving them wide open for a heavy attack and a KO.  Plus, more strong female Smash characters, never a bad thing.

9) Decidueye from Pokemon

Every Smash game has a new Pokemon rep, and there’s quite for few on the rumor mill.  Gardevoir and Gothitelle get brought up a lot, but they’d draw a lot of comparisons to (and may end up being an EF to) Mewtwo, especially in Gardevoir’s case.  They could also throw in a currently unannounced Pokemon from Gen 8 with that being right around the corner.  But, Decidueye makes the most sense to me.  It’s got a cool design and there aren’t many characters that uses arrows in their arsenal, basically just the Links and Pit.  Plus, his Flying type would give him really strong recovery, most comparable to Charizard’s.  For his Final Smash, give him Zelda’s FS from Brawl, a giant arrow that KO’s everyone in a straight line.

8) The Eeveelutions from Pokemon

If you like Pokemon, odds are good that you like at least one of the Eeveelutions.  Espeon’s my favorite Pokemon ever, and Jolteon, Umbreon, and Sylveon are up there too.  And there’s eight Eeveelutions at the moment (not counting Eevee) and eight alternate costume spots for each character, so here’s what I’m thinking.  You reveal the Eeveelutions in the next Direct, and put up a poll on the Smash website: Who is your favorite Eeveelution?  The winner of the poll is the default character, while everyone else are the alt costumes.  This does mean that the Eeveelutions will have to be virtually identical, but that shouldn’t be too hard, a Flamethrower can look like a Hydro Pump, a Thunderbolt, a Psyshock, etc. with some small cosmetic changes.  And their Final Smash could either be similar to Mega Man’s where everyone joins in for a giant combined attack, or if you wanna get cartoony, have them get into a big dust cloud fight with other Eeveelutions joining in before the victim gets launched offscreen by it.  Plus with Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee coming soon, it’s a great time to give Eevee’s family some love

7) Black Shadow from F-Zero

You know me, I love F-Zero GX more than I love three square meals a day, and at the moment, there’s barely any Smash representation for the GREATEST RACING GAME OF ALL TIME, so let’s change that.  Samurai Goroh is already an Assist Trophy, so how about Falcon’s other main rival, Black Shadow?  Taking a quick look at him, he’s obviously a big, strong character which makes him well-equipped to be in a fighting game.  But taking a second look at him will make you chuckle, because he’s kinda goofy looking.  He’s wearing a full-body black spandex suit, with bull horns, cloven feet, and a cape.  Yea, he’s a sadistic monster in the games and the anime, but still he’s a little hard to take seriously.  And that can work in his advantage.  In Nintendo Directs, they like to use villains that you can kinda take the piss out of in certain places, like Dedede, Wario, and surely in the future, K. Rool.  Black Shadow can exist in a similar role, and maybe the four can form some evil alliance if they decide to make Subspace Emissary 2.  (Please make Subspace Emissary 2.)  His Final Smash can be identical to Falcon’s, hit your opponent with the Black Bull, works just fine.  Plus, maybe a new F-Zero character could build hype for a new game in the series?  Please?

6) Paper Mario

I’m not sure why some people want Paper Mario to be Mario’s EF?  Wasn’t the point of Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam to show how different those two are?  Anyway, Paper Mario has a bevy of ways to attack that would help him stand apart from his 3-dimensional counterpart.  His standard attack can involve his hammer (which Mario doesn’t have), with the directional standards involving various badges like the Hammer Throw and the Ice Smash.  His special attacks can use his various buddies.  Parakarry can be his recovery, Vivian can be a Down-B defense tool, you could even use Thoreau as his throwing mechanic.  And the final Smash could involve one of the realistic items from the new games, like the electric fan blowing all the opponents offscreen.  I don’t know much about the newer games, they didn’t look as good.

5) Shadow the Hedgehog

This is another one that COULD be an Echo Fighter, but Shadow plays pretty differently to Sonic in their games.  He skates instead of runs, he uses weapons whereas Sonic just uses his speed, Shadow has a FUCKING GUN, there’s plenty that you can do with Shadow to separate him from Sonic.  Particularly involving his Final Smash, Chaos Control.  When it’s used, everyone on screen freezes for ten seconds.  In that time, Shadow can use one heavy attack after another after another, and when the time runs out, all the damage and force from those attacks hit at once, and that character will go flying.  It’d be kinda like Link’s Stasis from Breath of the Wild (which should be Link’s FS, but oh well)

4) Spring Man from Arms

So, Arms wasn’t as big of a hit as people were hoping.  That’s a bummer, it looks like a fun game.  How about we give it one last shot in the arm (teehee) to try to boost its exposure?  Put Spring Man in the game, and have him focus on long-range attacks and throws.  His recovery can be a long whip that grabs ledges like Olimar’s.  And for his Final Smash, give him a big winding tornado throw that KOs whoever he grabs and damages anyone who gets hit by the swinging arms in the process.  Show what he can do in Smash, and maybe it’ll entice people to see what he can do in Arms.  I just want that game to be successful.

3) Rayman

I was shocked that Rayman didn’t get into Smash WiiU, since it seems like Nintendo and Ubisoft have been on great terms for a long time, like how Rayman Origins and Legends ended up on Nintendo consoles when it had almost no third-party support.  Rayman even had a trophy in WiiU, so it was really surprising to me that he wasn’t one of the DLC characters.  Let’s fix that.  His unattached limbs would give him some good range, he’d have some magic that he could use at his disposal for special attacks.  And for his Final Smash, how about summoning a swarm of mosquitoes to fly across the screen, doing massive damage with each hit, like a super-powered version of the Beedrills from Smash 64?

2) Geno from Super Mario RPG

I’m not a huge Final Fantasy guy, but I’m so glad Cloud got into Smash WiiU/3DS, because it throws the door wide open for other Square characters.  A lot of people think this will lead to Sora from Kingdom Hearts getting in (doubtful), but I want Geno to finally get in.  He did get an outfit for the Mii Gunner in the last game, but seeing him actually in Smash, not just as a Mii, would be so great.  Mario RPG is criminally underrated, and it laid the groundwork for the Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi games.  He’d, of course, be a long range fighter, using his finger cannons as his main attacks, and for his Final Smash:  the Geno Flash, which would be like a combination of Pit’s and Jigglypuff’s FS.  You’d go offscreen and aim a point on the map.  From that epicenter, a giant blast grows, trapping and damaging anyone who gets in the blast radius, before launching those victims off the stage.

Honorable Mentions (Echo Fighters)

Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat brought Funky Kong back into the fold, and he’s got a very similar body type to Donkey Kong, so that makes perfect sense to me.

Hyrule Warriors could use a representative, and since Midna’s already an Assist Trophy, how about Impa?  She’s got a great look and could borrow Sheik’s moveset quite well.

I never bought Wart as an Echo Fighter, since the characters he was usually attached to (Bowser or Dedede) didn’t feel similar enough.  But K. Rool, on the other hand, fits just right.  K. Rool looks like a caricature of Wart.

People seem to like Xenoblade Chronicles 2, so let’s add to the Xenoblade cast in Smash.  I don’t know a lot about Rex, besides his goofy pants, but I’m sure he’d be a great fit.

This might seem odd, but how about Andy from Advance Wars as an Echo to Bowser Jr.?  Andy could ride in a tank and shoot projectiles while using the turret as a short-range melee attack?  Could work.

1) Sans and Papyrus from Undertale

No, but could you imagine?

1) Crash and Coco Bandicoot

This would be the kind of Internet breaking character that you put as the last character added to give one final hype boost to the already unstoppable Smash hype train.  The N. Sane Trilogy is already out on Switch, so the publishers already have their foot in the door, so let’s just go for it.  And as an added bonus, you could announce Coco Bandicoot at the same time (like Simon and Richter) for added excitement.  (I would absolutely main as Coco.)  Their standard attacks could revolve around their spin attacks, while their specials would involve using their various powerups like the fruit bazooka and the belly flop.  And the Final Smash would involve using Aku Aku to turn invincible for a brief time.  Yes, they’re kinda doing away with that kind of FS, maybe they could make a cutscene out of it and cause an instant KO or something.  I don’t know, just gimme Crash in Smash, please.