#while feeling so nauseous that I can't eat

[deceasedream69]

Surviving

Summary: the team is on edge after they find out you've been missing for a couple of days, but the one losing his mind is the one who didn't get the chance to confess his love before everything happened.

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, curse words, violence, mentions of sa.

-

I've sitting on this stupid flat chair for so long I can't even feel my butt anymore. I've been slapped, chocked, punched, cut. And can't even get to defend myself cause I have these stupid cuffs that are chained from the floor.

He set up a camera the minute I woke up after he took me. The camera was in the corner of the room at all times, the red light always on.

There was also a table with a desk computer. That was everything in the room, not even a window.

I was already weak, my wrists hurted, I was thirsty, hungry, sleepy.

He came into the room eating a sandwich, stared at me for a little. I didn't even turn to look at him, I knew what he was trying to do.

He got closer to me, chewing like a pig.

- do you want some?

I just turned to look away.

- oh, come on, don't be so hard, I know you do.

He put the sandwich near my mouth, and I couldn't resist, I took a big bite.

- see, it wasn't so hard.

It was the first time he came close to me without a weapon. What was he trying to do?

He stood up, put the sandwich on the table and kneeled in front of me again.

- so, see, I've been nice to you, no need to be such a bitch - he stood up, I didn't look him in the eyes.

He grabbed my cheeks, pulling my face to look at him.

- don't be a bitch, are you even listening to me? - he slapped me and kneeled again, laughing, then he put his hand on my cheek in a "reassuring" way.

- why are you taking a video? Isn't it enough to be doing it, living this fantasy with your victim? You have to record it to watch it later again?

He laughed and fixed my hair.

- darling, this camera isn't just recording, is telling your little friends at the FBI what we're capable of, see - he put his hand on my cheek again - I know you see a lot of ugly things, but this - he laughed - this is different, I bet.

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction to see me in pain, sad or suffering, my face was blank every chance I could.

With his hand caressing my cheek, the fact that I noticed he wasn't carrying a weapon, I just had to take this chance.

But a smirk left my lips before I did anything.

- what's so funny?

- you're a piece of shit, dead shit.

I bit his hand, kicked his foot and tied the chain from my cuffs around his neck. He tried kicking, punching me, scratching me, all he could do, but my grip was the tightest I could. I even waited a little after he stopped moving just to be sure he wasn't faking.

After that I could breathe again, I saw the body in front of me and closed my eyes.

Shit, fuck. I felt nauseous, but I couldn't waste much time. I got down and started to look in his pockets, first I found a phone, luckily I new Hotch's number by memory, so I dailed it, waiting for an answer while I search the keys.

- y/n...

- Hotch! Thank God, are you... Seeing...

- yes, we are

That made me feel uneasy, pathetic, little, but also made me feel like the team was there with me, or that soon they'll be.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard.

- everything will be fine, tell me everything you can.

I took the cuffs off and sat at the table to check the computer.

- I have no idea where am I, not even what time of the day it is, I-

The computer turned on to show a lot of sick images of people on all sort of painful and twisted ways.

I turned my head completely away from the screen, the camera and the phone call. Feeling a suden sick feeling I couldn't help but vomit the only thing I had in my stomach, that little piece of sandwich. I cleaned my mouth and tried to focus, trying to adjust and depersonalize everything I could see in that computer.

- y/n, we're here with you, you're not doing this alone, you're gonna help us find you and when we do I promise I'll take care of you just like I should be doing right now, so please...

I tried searching for things, but some pictures or videos, which was the most I could find on that computer, didn't make much sense. I started to profile the unsub, but the realization hit me to late.

I froze, I don't know why I didn't feel it until I realized... It was a duo.

He was right behind me, I don't even know how long it took him to creep up on me like that, but I know he cut the line before doing it cause it didn't even give time for Hotch to warn me.

I put the phone down, he turned my chair abruptly, making me face him, while he held a knife he started to travel all around my face and body.

I was so frozen, I didn't even show much reaction, but the fear was really clear.

- you... - he closed his eyes and sighed - are you done now?

He started to laugh.

- you pathetic whore, didn't even realize before, huh? You're going to regret meeting me, specially under this circumstances - he slapped me and grabbed me by the throat.

- he was messy - I chocked out.

- what.

- he was messy, he didn't do what you wanted, right?

He loosen his grip on my neck, pointing the knife to my face like a sign to keep talking but to watch what I was going to say.

- he was under your control first, but after a while he started to go against your orders, to take decisions by himself because he knew you wouldn't approve of some.

- what's your point? Huh? That's your justification for murdering him?

- no, I'm saying that he was a terrible partner, but I'm here, and the only thing I can offer you in exchange of you letting me live is that I can be a better and more obedient partner than him.

- you think I'm stupid?

- on the contrary.

He laughed and got back, moving his head un disbelief.

- what do you think you're doing?

- you're about to kill me, I have nothing else to offer, you can take my word for it cause you know I'm doing it to survive. Besides, I'm a woman, the girls you abduct would be easier to catch by another woman.

- or you won't catch shit cause you're one of them! - he slapped me.

- I'll do it cause if I don't you'll kill me, I'm offering you a deal here, for my life, I wouldn't ruin it to save some other random girl's life.

- please! You're FBI, you think I don't know you'll run to them the minute you can?!

- I'm giving you my word for it, you have my life in your hands.

He grabbed me by the hair and threw me to the ground, getting on top of me and punching me once.

- you think I'm stupid? HAHAHAHAHA, you're so wrong if you think so - he pressed the knife against my neck, throwing it away and putting his hands around it.

I kicked, tried to scream, punch, anything. Until I found his eyes and pressed my thumbs against them, making him scream in pain, then I hit him in the neck and tried to get away, but I couldn't, his grip with the legs was tighter.

- FBI, PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.

All this time Garcia was able to track the phone call, it was a matter of time before the team found me, I just needed to make time.

But it wasn't going to be so easy.

He quickly grabbed me, shielding himself behind me, his arm around my neck.

- back off or I'll snap here neck!

- Dan, don't do this, it's over and you know it.

- well then it'll be over for both.

I couldn't breathe, barely even listening to what they were saying, when all of the sudden I heard a loud bang, and air started to enter my lungs again.

Gasping for air I felt a pair of hands catch me.

- y/n! You're gonna be fine, please hold for me.

I opened my eyes slowly, hugging him desperately, I wanted to cry but was to dehydrated for that.

- shhh, it's okay - he said while rubbing my back - everything will be fine, I'm finally here for you, he kissed my head, hugging me tighter.

He cupped my face with his hands, they were so warm, I smiled with the feeling, he kissed my forehead.

- I'm so sorry, for everything, for everything you've been through but specially for not being there for you, and not telling you how I feel before... Something happened to you...

- it's okay, I love you too - I said really low.

He looked baffled, but obviously I'm a profiler, so I knew a while ago.

He kissed my forehead again and held me in his arms.

-oh, please, y/n, hold for me.

[darkbluekies]

Broken restraints

Yandere!doctor oc x reader

Summary: you've finally had enough and decides to switch the roles on your doctor, to try to get where he has placed the poison that is destroying you

Warnings: drugging, reader is held captive and poisoned, basically a little manhandling of darling?, restraints, manipulation/kind of infantilization

Word count: 2k

Your heart is beating. This can backfire horrendously, but what other choice do you have?

“Can I have something to eat?” you ask as he places the two cups on the table.

“Are you hungry?” he wonders and gives you a worried look, always speaking to you in that soft, understanding tone. “Didn't you like the dinner?”

“I did, but I'm still hungry.”

“Okay, would you want a sandwich? Or a fruit?”

“Whatever, please.”

He nods. “Okay, I'll be back soon.”

You wait for the door to click shut before opening your hand where he's placed the sleeping pills. Your eyes turn to his coffee cup. This is such a bad idea.

You grab your own cup of chamomile tea and place the pill underneath, gently crushing it against the desk, grinding it into a fine powder. Your heart beats inside your chest. What if he comes back before you're done? If he forgot something? How do you explain this without telling the truth? 

You pour the powder into his coffee, stirring slightly and feeling your heart sink to your stomach. Despite what he's doing to you, there has to be another way, right? But then again, if there was another way you wouldn't be doing this.

I'm sorry but what else do I do?

He returns with an apple.

“Here you go, little one”, he says. “Can't let you go to bed hungry. It's good that you're hungry. As long as you're not nauseous. Or cramping.”

From your poison, you mean?

You take a bite of the apple just for it to be believable. He takes a sip of his coffee. Your heart stops.

“How are you feeling?” he asks after he's swallowed. “How's your head?”

“Fine”, you reply shortly. 

He reaches out, touching it as if you had a fever.

“That's good”, he says. 

He drinks some more. You try to take another bite of the apple, but you're too worried about him feeling the taste, or the texture of the crushed pill.

“You look like you're going to throw up”, he says. “Are you sure you're fine?”

“I-I actually am a bit nauseous, when I think about it”, you half lie. 

“See? I know when you're lying, you forget I read you like an open book. Drink some tea, it'll help.”

He pushes the cup closer to you. You sip carefully. The warming sensation only highlights the disgusting guilt.

He tucks you in, like he does everything night, and starts to move towards the door, but your hand grabs his white lab coat sleeve.

“Please don’t leave”, you whisper. “Not yet.”

He looks at you in a questioning manner. You've been so quiet ever since you got to know about the poisoned air purifier, not wanting him close. But he can't deny you. Never.

“Okay”, he says and sits down on his stool, rolling over to your bedside. “Just lay down. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Lay?” you ask quietly, patting the space on the bed beside you.

“Why?”

“Please.”

“You haven't wanted me near these last few weeks. You've been rather cross with me.”

“I'm scared. I'm desperate. Please.”

He reads you like an open book, he says, but you pray he feels sorry enough for you to ignore any warning signs. Dr Kry sighs, removes his lab coat, leaving him in his blue scrubs, and lays down on the side of the bed. His bare arm brushes yours. He's weirdly warm for someone so cold.

Carefully, he directs your head to lean on his shoulder without a word. You close your eyes and pretend to sleep, opening your eyes every now and then to see if he's asleep. He's bigger than you. Maybe the pill was too little for someone his size? Or maybe the caffeine in the coffee balanced it out?

“Doctor”, you whisper after a while. “Doctor Kry?”

He doesn't respond. You lift your head from his shoulder, leaning on your hand as you push yourself up on one arm. You realise that you've never seen him sleep. He looks content, peaceful almost.

It makes what you're about to do so much worse.

You glance at the leather straps that have left permanent marks on your wrists from his discipline. Carefully you scoot over and lean over him to grab his right wrist, fully ready for him to grab you at any second. But he doesn't. Slowly, you fasten it to the side of the bed with the buckle straps. And then the other. You get off the bed and back away, taking in the sight. It makes you nauseous.

You walk over to the cabinet by the corner and pull over his stool to get a better look at the purifier. One hand covers your mouth and nose as the other twists and turns the little box, looking for the poison. Nowhere. This close, it looks harmless. 

You make your way down and over to his desk, looking through the drawers. There’s only papers. And documentation. You look throughout the room, but the poison is nowhere to be found. How can you ever get well if you don't even know what you've inhaled?

You have no choice but wait for Dr Kry to wake up. You sit down on his stool, waiting. It's tiresome, long, boring.

His eyes finally flutter open two hours later. You hold your breath. He blinks for a second, feeling something wrong. His hands tug at the restraints. 

“Y/N.”

You've never heard his voice like that spoken your way, only those few unfortunate times he has shown that dark side of his. But then that voice was never used against you.

His chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. 

“What have you done?” he asks. “Release me. Now.”

“Wait”, you say. 

“Get me out, Y/N. I'm not joking.”

“You have to listen to me first.”

“How did you manage to do this? You—...I see. You did something with the sleeping pill. Your little joke is not funny. Release me now and I will forget about this.”

“No, you have to listen to me!”

“I have to listen to you? With these kinds of methods you have?”

“Doctor, please.”

He looks at you for a second before clenching his jaw, leaning back slightly. He doesn't say anything, doesn't accept it, but he doesn't reject it.

“Where's the poison?” you question.

“Poison?” 

He looks straight at you, cold blue eyes sending ice throughout you. Anger is so unlike Dr Kry. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

“Should have asked me when I was free, sweetheart”, he bites back. “I can't move. I can't show you.”

“You have a mouth. You can speak.”

“And you have one too, that's how humans work. One that works without having to tie me down.”

“You wouldn't have listened to me. And if you would have, you wouldn't have taken me seriously.”

“And you think this helps your cause? Because, to me, this looks like the doing of someone who's not well. Who can't be reasoned with. Who's too sick to take care of themselves, and that's why I have to.”

“I'm sick because of you! I want to know where the poison is.”

“Why? So you can go to the cops? I'm sorry, sweetheart but they won't be able to help you. That poison is of my own doing. There is no antidote on the market and if they want to figure out what I've put in it it'll take years to develop one … and who says they'll actually be able to? It's not unusual that new, untested substances make you worse. Face it, I'm the only one that can heal you.”

“You don't have an antidote.”

Kry scoffs. “Don't I? Do you think I'd be so stupid to develop a poison for my beloved, and not create an antidote in case something goes wrong?”

“Where is it?”

“Not in here … but I can show you.”

You hesitate. You're not sure if it's out of pure desperation, need to get out of the situation or the poison clogging your brain, but you move towards the bed. Unsure lying, as if you're waiting for a thought clear enough to stop you. Nothing comes.

You unbuckle one of his wrists. He immediately moves it in circles to massage it, grunting. As soon as you've loosened the other, he doesn't waste time. He flies up from the bed and in one motion, grabs hold of your jaw with his hand and forces you backwards. The grip isn't painful, but it's firm and unyielding. You've known that he's strong, but not like this. 

You stumble backwards until your back finally hits the wall beside the bathroom door. He towers over you, looking down at you in a way he's never done before. It's anger … mixed with something. 

He holds your jaw with one hand, thumb and index finger digging into your cheeks. He tilts it upwards, stretching your neck. You stare wide eyed, fear exploding in you like fireworks.

“What was that?” he hisses. “Do not ever do that again, do you hear me?”

“Let go!” 

“Y/N, don't you realise what could have happened if you hadn't released me? You're not well, you need me, precisely because of these kinds of things. See what happens when you think for yourself with that clogged head of yours?”

You try to turn your head away but he doesn't let you. His grip is still not harsh, just firm.

“You're irrational, hysteric”, he hisses. “And you think I will release you? When you act like this? How will you survive? Antidote or not, you're a danger. Both to yourself and others, clearly.” He thinks for a moment. “That's it.”

Swiftly he lets go of your face, bends down and picks you up, hoisting you over his broad shoulder. You yelp, trying to steady yourself against his back.

“Since you can't be trusted, I have to use your own tricks against you”, he says, walking back to the bed.

He places you down on the mattress carefully, supporting both your head and waist before roughly taking one of your wrists and fastens it to the belt buckle. He tightens it enough for you to not wiggle, on both sides. You stare at them, trying to move. Dr Kry grabs your chin, making you look at him again.

“Are they too tight?” he asks firmly. “If you can't answer verbally, nod or shake your head.”

You nod quickly. He gives the restraints a quick look, trying to decide if they truly are. He then stands straight.

“You'll be fine.”

He turns back to his desk and pops out another sleeping pill and grabs your glass of water that stands on the nightstand. He holds your face, forcing your mouth open and placing the pill on your tongue. Before you can close it, the glass is tilted against your lips. Water floods your mouth. His hand holds your jaw throughout it, refusing rejection. When the glass is removed, he tilts your head upwards.

“Don't fight it. Swallow.”

With the angle he has your neck in, you have no choice but to swallow the sleeping pill. You cough. 

“I despise having to use these kinds of methods against you”, he says dryly. “But if you refuse to listen to what’s best for you and behave, then I have to. I will put you back in your place, and that’s not to be mean. It’s to protect you.”

But then his eyes soften and his shoulders fall slightly. He sighs heavily, the anger running off of him.

“You should catch some sleep”, he says lowly. “You've been up later than usual. It's not good for your health.”

He tucks you in, jawstill clenched, but not angry. Not visibly. It's hard finding a comfortable position when your wrists are pinned.

“Y/N”, he says. “Don't do this again. Honestly. Don't.”

He gives off another sigh and leans down to kiss your forehead. You don't say anything.

“Sleep well”, he says.

He leaves the room, locking the door behind him. As soon as he's alone in the corridor, he leans against the wall, running a trembling hand over his face. This could easily have been avoided. He'll make sure it never happens again. If he has to feed you the medicine himself from now on, he will. Never again will he be put in that spot again.

[official-susie-deltarune]

why is today SO determined to kick my ass i don't understand :(

[mrs-weasley-reid]

DOCTORS ACROSS THE HALL

Spencer Reid x psychiatrist!reader

Synopsis: Sleep-deprived and traumatized, Spencer Reid attempts to pin the blame on his innocent new neighbor (he can't). Word Count: 2k+ Warning: meet cute-ish(?) fluff(?) i'm not sure anymore, lol. light mentions of death and trauma. a few curses. not proofread !!!! A/N: inspired by S2 x E14 & 15, we all know what i mean hehe

Spencer Reid's eyes are dry.

Each blink is a terrifying journey. Afraid that he'll go back in the past—in that hut—in between the millisecond of closing his eyes.

He's seeing nothing but blurry darkness, and yet he can still feel Tobias Hankel's shaky palms across the skin of his arm.

"It helps."

"Trust me."

The same four words ring in Spencer's ears, encouraging pain—paranoia.

"It helps."

"Trust me."

With every breath Spencer takes, they hitch in the middle of his throat. Forever stuck and dies there with no trace of hope for the next generation of traveling air.

Hope that he'll be able to breathe without tugging aches all over his chest is long gone.

No man would ever be the same had they been in the situation he went through. He can't help but feel weak. And it's eating Spencer alive to the point of deliberate insomnia.

He doesn't remember the last time he'd ever slept like a normal person.

"It helps."

Knock, knock.

"Trust me."

Knock, knock, knock.

Spencer opens his eyes. He's not sure when slumber took over his mind or if he even participated in sleep at all. Chances are he was too dissociated from reality that he's left his body frozen for a while. Nonetheless, in the little time he spent in serene blankness, only one emotion brews in him.

Anger.

Who in their right minds would go out knocking at—Spencer glances at the clock on his nightstand—2 AM?

Knock, knock, KNOCK—

It stops.

A creak echoes in the hall as muffled voices scratch Spencer's ears. He can't make out the words, only the wave of the softest and gentlest whispers he's ever heard.

On a different day, he may have let it go. Hell, a different him would have let it go.

The Spencer from one week ago would have let it go.

The Spencer who never felt so nauseous at the sight of his own blood along the canvas of his temple. The Spencer with an awkward grin without the baggage of Tobias Hankel's torture over his shoulders.

The Spencer he used to be.

But despite everyone's loving support. Despite the bragging rights he gained for surviving a serial killer. No one can loosen the throttling chokehold of trauma around his neck. Not even him.

Spencer catches himself clenching his fists too tight. Crescent indentations sting on his palm—nostalgic and unsettling. He only grits his jaw at the thought. And comes in the invigorating vibrations all over his chest.

There it is again.

The useless anger.

A loaded gun with no target.

The man is dead. Tobias Hankel is dead.

Spencer wonders about the use of his boiling anger when the person he loathes is already rotting in his grave.

Without any other outlet to unleash the colossal mass of suppressed rage brewing inside of him, Spencer makes good use of one of the most common defense mechanisms: displacement.

Maybe screaming at someone will deflate the tightness across his chest and clear his mind a bit in the form of self-loathing after he realizes the grave immaturity of his plan.

He lifts his body off his mattress, swinging his legs on the side of his bed as he methodically rubs his eyes against the lamp's brightness. Strands of his hair go array around the vertical circumference of his head like an electric halo.

A huff pulses off his lips. He swallows a lump of thick air as he weighs his next moves.

Part of Spencer died in that cemetery. What difference does it make if he screams at the world? If he screams at—

His brows furrow, eyes narrow, and ears perk.

It's different this time.

Irritating knocks. Opening door. Muffled whispering. Closing door. Then quiet for an hour.

That has been a constant for the past five days. A constant routine that he felt indifferent about but somehow grew annoyed by.

But it's different this time.

The door across the hall didn't close.

And it's been five minutes.

Before Spencer knows it, his hand turns the knob and swings the door open.

Two women across from him. They are in the middle of what seems to be a tight hug before one bids her goodbye and lightly runs down the stairs.

Spencer watches as the other disappears down the lower level. Anger morphs into confusion.

"Did we bother you?"

He jolts back, snapping his gaze to the woman across. "What?"

You smile apologetically, "I'm sorry about the noise—"

"Dr. Spencer Reid," He spits. Spencer's forehead creases. He wonders what prompted his mouth to openly provide his full name to a stranger, specifically when the information was not asked for.

"Oh," You blink, lightly jumping on your toes. An unseen glint sparks in your eyes. You introduce yourself as a response, a lot less threatening than he did but equally awkward. You smile again. Sweetly, this time. Like you're looking at a puppy.

Spencer's brows bounce over his forehead as the hand over his doorknob loosens. "You're a doctor?" He inquires.

You nod, "Mhm, what are the odds, right?" You chuckle. The sound echoes around the quiet hall.

"11.76%."

"What?"

"The odds—" Spencer scratches the back of his neck, "—it's 11.76%. There are fourteen tenants in this building, including you. We both found out we're doctors, and I know none of our neighbors are. Most of the neighbors are living alone besides the old couple on the first floor, but I know none of them are doctors. That's two in fifteen people. So 11.76%. But now I realize you weren't being literal about it..." Heat rushes against the skin of his face.

Silence hovers between the two of you. He feels more awake than he was minutes ago for an entirely different reason—embarrassment. Spencer wishes that some sort of earthquake would open up the floor and swallow him.

"Interesting," You finally speak, changing the leg where you placed your weight. "I tried calculating it myself and got the same result. You were right."

His mouth falls agape. A surge of warmth strikes his chest. "You were calculating?" Spencer squints, rubbing an eye out of habit due to his current predicament and baffled by your antic all the same.

You nod again, "Just cause you're my neighbor doesn't mean I'll just take your word for it, you know. But I have to admit, it was cool that you figured that out in a second. You have my respect." You flash a playful smile, hugging your chest at the sudden draft.

"Ahh," Spencer steps back into his apartment. The tinge of giddiness is quickly replaced by sleep deprivation and anxiety. A hand throws itself into the cavity of his eye socket, pushing it close to remove the pain that's settling in.

Flashes of bright light blind him in the dark shade of his eyelids. Frustration swiftly creeps over his shoulders. Like he's drowning above water, tied down, and has no air to gasp for. Panic begins to paralyze him. All seems lost, and darkness slowly—

"Would you like some tea?"

Spencer blinks, lifting his gaze back at you as your soft smile slowly adjusts his sight.

"I have a new brand of tea I've been dying to open. Would you like some?" You repeat, tilting your head a bit as you await a response. When you don't get one, you add, "I promise I don't bite." And your heart flutters at the little twitch at the ends of his lips.

He concludes you're roughly two weeks fresh from moving in. Here you are, inviting a stranger in the middle of the night to enjoy tea inside your home.

Seems reckless.

Idiotic.

But Spencer doesn't say no.

He walks towards you like he's leaving a world to explore another. Anxiety slowly dissipates with each step he takes. A contrast of what he feels each second that passes while he lies awake.

You step aside to give him way. "Grab a seat—" you gesture towards the kitchen -island-slash-dining-table, "—The girl you saw usually stays longer, so I already heat some water. Is chamomile okay?" You talk as you maneuver around your small kitchen.

Spencer finds a seat closest to the door. For all he knows, you're the serial killer on your end of the skeptical assumptions in his head.

"Nice apartment," He says out of the obligatory guest etiquette. Spencer takes in every bit of your reflection in your home.

It's inviting. Warm and cozy. The hint of oat and lavender whiffs past his nose. Your place is adorned with small, warm lights, brightening each corner with sunset tones.

Your chuckle brings his attention back to you. "Don't be shy, Dr. Reid," You glance at him over your shoulder. "It's messy. You can say it."

"If a couple of books on your table is messy to you, you should see my side of the building."

Spencer straightens up as confusion spreads over his face.

How do you do that?

Make him feel comfortable with words and a gentle voice. Everyone on his team has been doing the same exact thing, but somehow, you get something out of him without further prompting.

The image of your coffee table pops in his head. Cultural Psychology. Learning Psychotherapy. Trauma and Dreams. And a few more books that clocks his interest in you further down the rabbit hole.

"You're a psychologist," He announces into the air.

"Psychiatrist, actually," You place a mug in front of Spencer, finding a seat across from him. "But what gave it away? The tea or the messy apartment?" You ask into your mug that says 'you're purrfect' in pink lowercase and has a cat’s paw under the lettering. A playful smile is curving your lips.

Spencer accepts the blue mug, brows rising at the police box outlined image over the blue stain. He wouldn’t have expected you as a fan of Doctor Who, but who’s he to judge? A part of him wants to discuss common interests, but he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to change the subject.

"T-the books." He says hesitantly, uncertain whether the art of observation has marked him a creep right at that moment.

You hum, "Thought I would've been more mysterious than that." You chuckle, pulling a leg against your chest. "And you?" You inquire back.

"I have three PhDs," Spencer shares shyly, breaking eye contact masked as drinking your quite tasteful tea. He notes to ask the brand you're so enthusiastic about later on.

"Three?" Your eyes glisten under the warm light.

He nods.

"Let me guess, 190."

"190?"

"Your IQ," You lean back against the table, "My guess is you graduated young. Went to high school, college, and graduate school as a puppy." You add, amping with adoration over the new information.

"A puppy is a strong word, but yes," Spencer blushes now, hoping the small lighting leans in his favor to hide the red tint over every bit of his skin. “And just 187, not that big of a deal.”

"Just 187? You're just being humble, right?" You giggle, "I bet some prestigious agency hired you at a young age, and you're called the genius kid." You jest, genuinely interested in him more than ever.

More like the boy genius. But can’t possibly expose himself more than you already did out of sheer lucky guesses. Spencer avoids meeting your eyes like it's the plague. "You awfully guess a lot..."

You gasp, placing your mug on the table, "Shut up! I was close, was I? Oh my gosh!" You're laughing now, utterly comfortable to show quirks that people you just met shouldn't see yet. "I'm good at this. I think I'll be okay later, then." You say to yourself, nodding in satisfaction.

"For what?" Spencer chimes, troubles slipping away to the back of his mind and the sound of your hush laughter lulling him. It might be the tea or the possibility that you'd drugged him, but his body felt light for the first time in weeks. He doesn't have any complaints.

"I moved here for a job," You start attentively, making sure that you don't share too much. "But I have people. They'll search for me in case you turn out to be a serial killer."

His brows jump, "How do I know you're not the serial killer? Women can be one, too. And statistically, women who are serial killers are attractive."

"Are you saying I'm attractive, Dr. Reid?"

"I—" Spencer freezes, heat flowing to his ears. "I-I was making a point—" He cuts himself off. He wonders when the earthquake he's wished for earlier is coming to save him from embarrassment.

You stay silent, reveling in his stuttering voice.

"Is that coffee? I thought you made tea." He changes the subject—poorly.

You don't mind it one bit, indulging at the sight of his pinkish ears covered by his unruly hair. "I invited you for tea. I didn't say I'll drink one with you." You take a sip of the caffeine, rubbing the idea on his face.

Spencer responds with a subtle roll of his eyes that makes you chuckle more than intended. "Why coffee at three in the morning?" He asks gently, not wanting to step over any boundaries.

"I'm supposed to start my job later. I heard my patients need a lot of assistance, so I need to study and make sure I give them the right help."

"That sounds noble," He yawns, the first of many.

Spencer never thought your smile could get any sweeter, "I haven't officially met them yet. So, I really wish it goes well."

It might be the chamomile tea with a hint of honey finally working in his veins, but Spencer thinks you're beaming like an angel descending from the skies.

He yawns, and you giggle once more, "I think you should go to sleep, Dr. Reid."

“Yeah, yeah, I should,” Spencer’s eyebrows collide at the sadness in his chest. His body feels comfortable in his seat. Getting out of it feels like torture. 

You both stand from your seats, walking him towards the door. 

Spencer turns around before he closes his, a sleepy smile on his face. "Thanks for the tea," He yawns, a hand covering his mouth.

“You’re— hold on, give me one second,” You turn around and back inside your apartment. He can’t see you but can hear your light footsteps on the floorboards as you run to your coffee table and back inside the frame of your front door. 

Spencer patiently waits as you walk to his end of the hall, take his hand out, and hand him a heart lollipop. 

“Take this. They help with the bad craving,” You advertise as you walk backward. Before he completely shuts the door, you call for him, "Oh, and Dr. Reid."

Spencer swings the door open back wider, "Yes?"

"I think you're attractive too."

reid masterlist | masterlist

[brownblob]

He's A Monster

Jim Walters x GN!Reader

Summary: There's nothing wrong with you, you know it. No, you're not crazy. Then why does it seem like it? You're just paranoid, too distrustful of him who only has generosity in his heart and your best interest in mind. Even when his icy eyes linger where they shouldn't.

TW: Suggestive, creepy Jim, yandere, paranoia, angst(ish), mentions of blood, swearing

You swear there's nothing wrong with you. You're not going crazy, no, you're perfectly sane. You just keep having nightmares where something lurks in the void, wanting you as it's sacrifice. You tell Jim, you're not safe. Something's not right. He needs to listen at the warning, he said it himself beforehand "Sometimes though...I think dreams are doors" "You oughta be careful...what you invite in". So why doesn't he just agree and do the same as before, does he enjoy this? Your panic-stricken expression as you try and convince him that you're not safe. There's something out to get you, you even feel it on your skin at night as if you're not only being watched but devoured. You reassure him, you're not crazy. In hindsight you seem as anything but. "But dreams can just be dreams. Not real. You're safe here. It's safe here. He replies back, the southern drawl in his voice stretching, brow arched in frustration at your constant rebuttal. He sighs before bringing you breakfast, body leaning down behind you - caging you in. The scent of pinewood and musk engulfing you whole. Just as quickly the scent of iron hits your nose as you spot the blackberry preserve on your plate. It's completely normal, nothing wrong with it. But why does it taste metallic in your mouth then? The red seeping through the black hues of the jam. It's almost crimson and thick, as if...no. No that would be sick.

It's odd how he never takes any, heaping more onto your plate - feeling your pulse right after. There's something so wrong and you can feel it in the way he stares at you. Icy eyes stripping you down to nothing but the shell of yourself - predator and prey, like a game of cat and mouse. Biting his lips when he gets anxious, scared that he's going to get caught staring. He always does. At least, that's what you think - that you'll catch him in time. The sticky sweet stays on your plate making you rethink but you eat it anyways. The fork in your hand gently scooping up the portions one by one and into your mouth, on your tongue. He stares at it, not so subtly. Never subtly. His face heats up and his knee bounces up and down, up and down, again and again. His hand, now off your pulse, moving upwards to hold your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours. He shifts closer too, his eyes settled on you as if daring you to move, convinced you wouldn't anymore. And move you do. His mood visibly sours after that, brows furrowing as he looks at you like a kicked puppy. Fucking manipulator, making you feel so bad for being mean. Making feel so horrible for just wanting your space, to not be looked at like a piece of meat. He gets up after a while, taking away your dishes to the sink, eyes still on the fork that was just in your mouth as he grins softly. Repulsive.

"Here...hope you like it." He brings you a warm beverage afterwords, pushing it towards you gently as if ushering you to drink. His own mug sitting in front of him untouched. You don't wanna drink what he's put in front of you, the steaming beverage making you nauseous. You swear theres something in the drink, there can't not be. It's either here or in the food. Last time you complained he'd angrily gulped the contents down, proving you wrong and shutting you up. Seeing your discomfort he takes a sip of his own drink, his eyes shifting down as if to ease you. It works. You slowly pick the mug up before sipping the drink; the heat burning your tongue as you yelp. "Too hot?" He asks with a gentle smile before you nod as he looks away into the distance. And he suddenly seems so beautiful, a blush betraying you as you continue to look at him. Fuck. Blonde hair pooling around him in silky strands and tired eyes that droop downwards in a beautiful shade of blue. Pale skin too, that stands out against his rosy cheeks and his lips chapped yet so inviting. They must be warm too. Why do you feel this way for someone so vile. Yeah, you're delusional, he wouldn't mix something in your drink. Why would he? The pounding in your head must be a coincidence. And then you're second guessing yourself again and again. Is he really that bad? When he's been nothing but sweet to you? When he's done nothing wrong and for all you know, everything is just your overactive imagination. But the fear within you only grows, the distrust visible in your eyes.

The worst part is that you can't even accuse him of anything. He's been all gracious and welcoming after all, albeit in his own awkward manner. Letting you stay in his home, eating his food, sleeping in his extra room, warming up next to his fireplace. His. You're indebted to him and yet you still don't trust him. He who's protecting you from what's out there; the snow of course.

The weather so terrifying that could drive you off-course and injure you so badly that you'll bleed to death in the numbing cold. The freezing temperature, something your fragile body isn't accustomed to. Still it's hard to trust him, especially when his gaze lingers in places you know he shouldn't be staring at. When his hands brush yours just a little too long and when his breath hits the back of your nape as you shudder at the looming stranger behind you. But then again, you're judging him based off how he comes off - how shallow of you. It's not his fault that he isn't used to social cues and that he's a little shy. No, you're just being unappreciative. Maybe he doesn't know what he's doing. But he does, he a grown fucking man.

And if you dislike it so much then you should just leave. Why haven't you? You tried, really you did. Run away and discard yourself off this place and go as far as you could.

The first day he came in, knocking on hsi own door and dressed in black. The snow gear that obscured your vision alongside the way his eyes kept you in place. You didn't know him and nor did you want to. Not wanting to be indebt to him, and you should have done so in the beginning, you were about to leave. Stupid of you to come back inside on the first day, listening to his ragged words that persuaded you to come back into the warmth of his home when you got inside your car. "It's dangerous...you won't survive a minute" You stepped back inside, shivering. Easy. You shouldn't have. You should've drove off in your car, no matter the weather, when you had the chance. Now you can't even do that. The snow's piled up so high that you can't even see your car and you're damn sure the battery life had deteriorated by a mile. You're stuck with him, right where he wants you.

It's silly how he doesn't even have to actively entrap you, no, the climate does it for him. Not that he's completely clean, he'd do exactly that if he had to. Thankfully for him, the weather itself It cages you with him, trapping you like he does those rabbits in spring. Though he really doesn't want to scare you, unfortunately he doesn't know how to act. Not when you sit there so pretty and quiet, saccharine and sweet, skittish and scampering. He can't help but fumble his words then come off as deadpan to shut off any thoughts you may have about him as a creep. No, he doesn't care at all, let's keep you thinking that.

And then there you are, only seeing him as a threat when his mask slips, not even in the manner you should. The worst you think he'll do is poison you like some crazy lunatic or kill you, no he'd never. Not when he's so entranced with you. Not when the worse he can do is so much more revolting. Disgusting.

The necklace a reminder that you're in his domain. It's a beautiful delicate thing. Carved thinly with would that would splinter at the slightest pressure. A small rabbit tied to a leather chain. But then again, it's more similar to a leash than a necklace. It's a collar really. Makes you feel domesticated. It feels wrong. Yet the shy smile he had as he tied it to your neck, the blush on his cheeks. He was just so lovable and the gift around your neck so thoughtful. You should just stop being so pessimistic.

.

.

. You're going crazy aren't you? First the beast in your dreams, calling out to you and demanding you present yourself on an altar, and now icy eyes? No, he's a good person, Jim is the host who kindly took you in. He could've kicked you out - for all he knew, you were the threat as you showed up in his home with who knows what in mind. Or he could've been pure evil, letting you freeze to death. Yet he didn't. He gave you a warm bed and food too and everything else, merely asking for a little company in return.

Then why does it make you so uneasy? The fear that he's the one peeking through that door at night, heavy breathing as he watches you toss and turn in bed. No, you're going crazy. Insane. You must've left the door ajar, and those eyes must be a trick of the light. Then what about the hot breath on your collar? It's those dreams. The beast appearing again and again, making you believe that there's someone in your bed. Someone on top of you, pinning you down like a butterfly as they take you in with their eyes. If only you knew that the beast wasn't an illusion but the reality of Jim.

He's a monster, a motherfucking monster.

Note: I just had to write more about this GORGEOUS AMAZING BEAUTIFUL MAN RAHHHH. Ugh he's been on my mind 24/7 and I'm literally working on like 3 more fics about him. He deserves so much love and I love the complexity he has ughghghghgh. Again THANK YOU to the WONDERFUL author/creator @hereisremina of this game for giving us THIS MASTERPIECE to leech off (I'M SORRY I'M WRITING SO MUCH ABOUT HIM I JUST HAVE TOOOOOOOOO).

Note 2: So like I said before, I definitely am moving on from my usual content into more darker(?) content. And even if it's not "darker" it's certainly has heavy implications and is much different to what I usually write.

Note 3: Inspo from the song "Monster" by Dev.

Note 4: If you enjoyed this, please interact with this post, my blog, and reblog! Any kind gestures are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

[tinylilacbun]

can you write one where little! reader is being extra bratty and fussy today and rafe has had enough and puts her in time out and threatens with another punishment or something but then sofia notices that the readers cheeks are all flushed and she’s curling up like she’s cold and sofia takes her temperature and she’s like “that’s why you’ve been fussy, you’re sick” and then rafe feels awful about punishing little! reader?

i love your stuff!

You already woke up with an attitude and a slight pounding head, not wanting to change out of your jammies at first, then you didn't want to eat breakfast, later on as you're relaxing on the couch you whine when Rafe turns the TV off and claims that you should go find some other kind of entertainment because you've been watching cartoons for a while now.

"Don' wanna." You huff, moving onto your stomach to hide your face in the cushions. "Wanna watch movie."

"And I want you to go do something else." He says, placing the remote on a high surface you can't reach. "Or I'll take you upstairs to nap, your choice."

"Noooo!" You whine, kicking your legs in frustration as your body starts to heat up again.

"Listen, I've been real patient with you today, so if you don't change your attitude right now I'll-" He warns you, pointing a finger at you as you suddenly say something he never thought you would dare to, especially while being little.

"Shut up..." You mumble but Rafe heard you crystal clear.

"What did you just say?" He asks, his eyes narrowing as he takes a few steps closer to where you're laying. "Care to repeat that, young lady?"

You sit up on the couch, glaring at him defiantly. "I saids shut-"

Before you can even finish Rafe's hand shoots out to grab your wrist, pulling you up to stand in front of him, towering over you. "If you're not sitting in the corner in the next ten seconds, I'll make sure you won't be able to sit for a damn week."

You gulp, quickly regretting your choice of words even though you can't help it with how you're feeling right now.

Rafe doesn't even notice your flushed cheeks or how warm your skin feels, too infuriated with your behavior to catch onto it.

When he lets go, you pad over to the corner, plopping down on the ground and face the wall, only hearing Rafe's footsteps disappear to what you can only assume must be the kitchen.

On his way there he crosses paths with Sofia who just finished taking a shower, her hair still slightly damp as she places her hand on his bicep to stop him. "What happened?" She asks, nodding towards you sitting in time out.

"What's been going on the whole day and I'm tired of it. She's in time out for how long I see fit." He explains, almost relaxing when she stands up on her toes to kiss his jaw.

"Okay, I'll try and talk to her." She says, making her way to where you are leaning with your side against the wall, your body shivering as she kneels on the ground beside you. "Angel?"

You don't respond, feeling too nauseous to even move a muscle and only answer with a quiet whimper.

"Hey..." She coos, taking a better look at your face, her brows furrowing with concern as she notices how flushed your face is and the way your eyes flutter close from time to time. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

She reaches out to feel your forehead, then moves her hand to your cheek and the back of your neck, frowning as she realizes why you've been behaving differently all day.

"Oh, baby, that's why you're so fussy, hm? You have a fever." She observes, moving some of your hair from your face, calling out for Rafe.

"What?" He asks with slight irritation, entering the living room again and sees how Sofia helps you to stand up on rather shaky legs. "Babe, I just told-"

"She's sick." She quickly retorts, leading you back over to the couch and makes sure you lay down comfortably, grabbing a blanket and drapes it over your shivering body.

Rafe's whole mood shifts from frustrated to slight guilt, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally sees in what state you're actually in, watching Sofia tucking you in and standing up again. "Mama is getting you some medicine, okay?"

You just nod in response, wrapping the blanket more around yourself as she walks off to get everything you might need right now.

Rafe eventually moves over to you, sitting down next to you he lets out a sigh as you shuffle to snuggle against his side, wrapping an arm around your body to keep you close.

"I should've noticed sooner..." He mutters mostly to himself, feeling your forehead with his other hand.

You only hum, closing your eyes as your cheek is smushed on his stomach. A few minutes later Sofia returns, carrying a tray with medicine, some soup, your favorite stuffie, and a pacifier in case you regress even smaller.

She smiles at the sight of you and Rafe cuddling, knowing how sorry he must feel, he doesn't even need to say it as his actions speak volumes, the way he holds you and rubs your back, whispering sweet nothings to you.

[alexaloraetheris]

On the subject of being your own zookeeper, I've been trying it out and it WORKS. One of the obvious ways is to ask 'Have I watered/fed/medicated the beast?' and take care of those needs, and it's great, but another thing I haven't seen mentioned is the Stressors.

So, being a bio grad student, means I also know actual zoologists and zookeepers. And talking with one blew my third eye open. One of the questions the zookeeper always, ALWAYS needs to keep an eye on is 'What is stressing the beast out, and how can I remove it?'

In human terms, it's basically 'This thing is causing me a minor amount of stress, but stress is cumulative, so how many small stressors can I remove so the Big Stress doesn't drain so much of my energy?'

Say you're stressing about an exam/interview/visitors. There's ways to prepare for that, but before you get to that point you also need to look out for small stressors that add to the overall feeling of stress, and the goal is to reduce them FIRST.

Example: You have a big test and it's the day you need to take it. You are already baseline anxious about taking it, and the goal here is to stress as little as possible on the way to school.

You can't eat breakfast because you're late/nauseous? Keep small energy bars in your purse, snack on the way. Gives you a bit of sugar for your brain, doesn't take up time and always on hand. Haven't had time for coffee? Caffeine pills/espresso chocolates. It's cold/raining? Ditch your sneakers and wear rain boots and a warm coat, worry about fashion later. I even carry around a foldable cushion so I can sit while I wait for the bus without freeting my butt off. Haven't had time to brush your teeth? Gum, mints, breath fresheners. Nervous? Fidget toys. Worried about losing an umbrella? Get one of those plastic sleeves so you can put it in your purse even if it's wet. Too damn hot? Mini fan, or even a folding paper fan. Noise level grating on your nerves? Silicone earplugs, or noise-cancelling earbuds/headphones. (I have a big purse I carry all this stuff in so I don't forget, a blessing with ADHD)

Things like that. Small things to mitigate the microstressors so you arrive to your destinations with as little misery as possible.

Apply that to the rest of your life. You have to eat vegetables for your health but you hate them so damn much? Find a way to prepare them in a way that doesn't make you gag. I just throw a bag of frozen pre-chopped veggies in the pan and then throw in spices I like. If I can taste the vegetables in my veggie stir-fry, I haven't seasoned them enough.

Make little medicine bag, the size of your palm. I carry nasal degongestant spray, ibuprofen, eye drops, mini bug spray, a pad and a tampon, a few alcohol wipes and hand cream. Those tiny tester tubes of hand cream? A godsend. Adjust to your needs.

I hate washing dishes. Back hurts and my skin literally peels off my hands from the dryness. Get a bar stool and sit, wear WELL FITTED dish gloves. I got those that go all the way up my elbows in S size and now my kitchen doesn't look like a disaster.

Vacuuming is a pain? Handheld vacuum cleaner you can push around for 15 minutes every day. Expensive? Get a broom and a good dustpan. I emphasize GOOD because it does make a difference. Back hurts if you bend over? Get the dustpan with a long handle.

It's amazing how much difference it makes. Neutralize Murphy's law. A bunch of small stuff going wrong will absolutely tank your energy you need for the big stuff.

TL;DR Identify the things that cause you daily stress, find easy ways to neutralize them. Save your energy for the big stuff. There is nothing noble in suffering. Take care of your zoo animal.

And if you need it, ask for help. Zookeepers often work in pairs.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Bang!

pairing: virgin!felix x experienced!afab!reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 3.8k

warnings: nipple play, oral (m receiving), fingering, protected sex (a first in my fics haha), second hand embarassment

a/n: inspired by felix banging his head on every table he comes close to😂

idk how many times i will write virgin felix let me live okay (i wrote this on a whim)

~check out: Masterlist

Deep breath in. Long breath out. Deep breath in. Long breath out. Deep breath- oh fuck this.

Felix can't breathe. Not when he's standing in front of your door, ready to knock as his hand pauses mid-air.

How will he look you in the eyes when you appear in front of him? He couldn't even sleep last night.

There was no scenario he didn't run in his head over and over again. Like what if he does something wrong and it turns you off? What if he accidentally hurts you? He would never forgive himself. What if he's not good at all, too awkward and inexperienced for you? What if you don't like his stuff? What if he can't please you at all and you're disappointed and you leave him?

His mind went to some really dark places as he kept overthinking about everything and comparing himself to your exes while he secretly stalked their social media in bed.

Despite feeling discouraged, he manages to finally knock on the door and he stands still, listening to his rapid heartbeat and your footsteps nearing the door.

You're so estatic to see your boyfriend that you yank the door open a little too enthusiastically, making Felix jolt before he chuckles nervously at your smiling face.

"Hey."- your expression softens when you see him looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Hey. Um, I made these for you."- Felix lifts his hand up, holding a cute bag with little hearts on it and you peer inside, already knowing that in the tuperware lay his famous brownies.

"Aw, Lixie thank you! You're too sweet!"- you chuckle, leaning closer to him to peck his lips.

You notice he's stiff, he must be nervous because of the talk you had last night where he told you he was ready to take the next step in your budding relationship.

You were more than ready to take things to the next physical level, especially since you've had relationships before and even though Felix dated, he said he wanted to wait for the right person.

Him calling you the right person for him and trusting you with something so delicate like his first time, made you love him even more and you felt honored he chose you.

You were determined to make everything as relaxing and pleasurable as it can possibly be, you even made his favorite dinner and picked out a fun movie to relax beforehand.

Felix was relieved to find out you'd eat dinner first because that gave him some time to calm down (freak out even more) and he was trying to hype himself up the whole time as you talked about your day.

The food you cooked for him was delicious but he didn't want to eat too much in case he throws up because his stomach was swirling with butterflies, making him feel nauseous.

You could see that he was still so nervous, his leg was shaking under the table during dinner and he was mostly avoiding to look into your eyes.

He helped you clean up before the two of you moved to the couch to watch the movie.

You sat close to him, wanting to cuddle like you always do when you watch tv together but Felix jumped a little before settling next to you.

"You okay?"- you ask cautiously, your hand on the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair and he shivers.

"Fine. Completely fine."- he says but you shake your head and pause the movie.

"Love, we don't have to do it tonight if you're not ready. I don't want you to feel any kind of pressure because I really don't mind waiting."- you tell him truthfully as you gently hold his hand and Felix's eyes fill with love as he looks at you.

"No, I'm ready, I am! I'm just a little nervous."

"That's understandable."- you say before you give him a small smirk, your hand on his cheek.

His eyes flutter as he leans into your touch instantly and stares at you like a lovesick puppy.

"Let me help you relax, hm?"- you whisper as you lean in closer, pressing your lips into his.

Felix kisses back, and the kiss is sweet and gentle, just like him. Your hands hold his precious face as he hesitantly places his on your waist.

You kneel on the couch, hovering over him as he runs his hands gently up and down on your sides. You swipe your tongue across his bottom lip and Felix parts his lips, letting you in.

You play with his tongue, circling around it with yours, licking at his mouth and gently sucking on his tongue. You can tell he's getting worked up as you play with his hair and he squeezes your waist a little, fingertips digging into your back.

You decide to throw your leg over him and sit in his lap, pressing your core against him and Felix jolts, whimpering into your mouth as you stimulate his growing erection.

And here he was, worrying about his thing having performance anxiety. That was one worry he could check off in his head, because there was no way he wouldn't get aroused with you on top of him like that.

You could feel him through layers of clothing, and it made your arousal drip on your panties.

You couldn't wait to see him, touch him, taste him, feel him. You roll your hips experimentally against his, dragging your clothed pussy against him and Felix grunts, his head falling back as his hands grip at your hips.

His eyes are closed, his eyebrows furrowed and his face is flushed. You can tell he's holding back as you slowly grind against him.

"Lix, look at me."- you say, gently touching his cheek and he opens his eyes, embarassment and arousal painted inside them.

"Does it feel good?"- you ask, pressing harder into him and feeling him grow more with your movement.

"S-so good."- he's quiet and stares at your breasts as he answers.

You grab his face to make him look at you and the sweet innocent bambi eyes he gives you make you want to devour him whole.

You lean his head back a little and bring your lips to his hot skin, leaving kisses on the column of his neck.

Felix starts breathing harder as he holds in his moans, afraid that he might let out embarassing sounds. His fingers are digging into your hips and as you bite down on his sensitive skin, he accidentally grinds up into you, bringing more friction to the both of you.

You moan and his cock twitches in his pants at the sound, his eyes falling to your breasts again. You can see he's entranced by them so you decide to indulge his silent wish as you reach down to the hem of your shirt.

His lips part as you pull it over your head, and Felix sees the lacy blue bra you're wearing. It's almost like you have nothing on because he can see your nipples through the lace and his mouth waters at the sight, his cock leaking in his boxers.

"Oh wow."- he says then chuckles.

"You like? I wore it for you."- you say, your hands sliding down to rest on top of his.

"I'm really lucky."- he says, his face completely red as he looks at you sweetly.

"Me too."- you smile as you grip his hands and slide them up to your breasts.

"Can I?"- he licks his lips and you giggle at his sweetness.

"Ofcourse. They're yours."- you say and Felix leaks in his boxers again as he squeezes your breasts gently.

"Mine..."- he says, his face mesmerized as he massages them. You moan, arching into his touch, his hands feel perfect on you like he was made just for you and you were made just for him.

He swipes his thumbs against your nipples and you whimper, making him flick his eyes up at your face. When he sees the look of arousal on your face, he feels a bit more confident as he starts playing with your nipples, lightly pinching them and rolling them between his fingers.

"Ahh, Lixie!"- you whine, your hips moving against him again and he thinks he just might cum in his pants before you even get to take them off and that would be freaking embarassing so he tries to forget about himself and focus on giving you pleasure.

He moves the lace to the side, revealing your nipple before he leans in closer, his hot breath hitting your skin.

"Okay?"- he asks and you nod as he presses his lips on your nipple. His tongue darts out to play with the aroused bud and you whine, your hand gripping at his hair.

Felix's eyes glaze over as he grunts lowly, enveloping his lips around your nipple and gently sucking on it.

Pleasure courses through your body, down to your core that's clenching around nothing, your juices seeping onto your panties.

Felix closes his eyes and sucks harder, you keep gripping and releasing his hair as he moans around you. His hips start grinding up into you as he gives your other nipple the same treatment.

You think he's completely forgotten about what you two planned to do because he keeps sucking on your nipples, entranced with them and you gently caress his back and whisper his name.

He leans back to look at you, and he looks fucked out already.

"I- um, I'm sorry, they're so pretty. I could suck on them forever."- he confesses with a shy smile and you chuckle, grabbing his face.

"You can do that later. Right now, I'd like for us to go to my room and continue there. What do you say?"- you ask and he nods quickly.

"I'd love that."- he says and you giggle, feeling giddy as you stand up and hold his hand, dragging him to your room.

You gently push him to sit on your bed before adjusting your bra.

"I want to show you something first."- you say as you start unbuttoning your pants and Felix gulps.

You slide them down slowly and his mind is dizzy when he sees the matching panties and your cunt wrapped with the lace like a little present just for him.

He groans at the sight, his cock is painfully hard as you make your way to him.

"Take your shirt off, baby."- you say and Felix obliges immediately.

"These too, you don't need them."- you pull at his jeans with a smirk and he swallows as he slowly unbuttons them and slides them down.

Arousal gushes on your panties when you see his hard cock straining in his boxers, a patch of wetness where the head is.

"Lixie."- you bite on your lip, hands on his thighs and he lets you part them as he looks up at you through his long eyelashes.

"Y/n..."- he whimpers quietly as you massage his thighs.

You slide your hand towards his erection, and look at him, seeing panic appear in his eyes.

"Is it okay if I touch you, baby?"- you ask gently, your hand stopping on his inner thigh.

"Yes, yes please."- he says, nodding quickly.

You cup his cock with your hand and Felix moans, leaning into your touch immediately, his legs opening up more.

"Mm..."- he presses his lips together as you start palming him, you pussy throbbing to feel him inside you.

"Relax, baby."- you coo at him, squeezing his cock and caressing his face. "Let me hear your pretty moans, Lixie."

His lips part as he looks at you sweetly, moaning quietly as you work his length.

"Let's get rid of these."- you hook your fingers in his boxers and he nods.

You slowly slide them down, his hard cock slapping against his abs, the tip glistening with pre cum and Felix turns away from you, his eyes squeezed shut.

"So pretty."- you mutter and get down on your knees between his legs, your hand wrapping around him.

Felix looks at you and gasps when he sees your lips close to his tip.

"Y-you don't have to do that."- he says and you bite on your lip.

"I want to Lixie. I wanna make you feel good."- you say.

"B-but I feel good already."- he gulps and you chuckle. He's too sweet that it makes you wanna please him even more.

"I know baby but I can make you feel even better. Do you trust me?"- you ask, slowly jerking his twitching cock.

"Ah- yes, yes I trust you!"- he whimpers, hips lifting up into your hand.

You lean in and lick at the pre cum oozing out of his tip, making Felix shiver. You play with his tip as he observes you with lustful eyes, before you wrap your lips around him, taking him in your mouth. He can't even look at you anymore, thinking that he'll bust as soon as he sees your face and your lips wrapped around his cock so sinfully as you bob your head and take more and more of him in.

You moan around his length, stimulating him as your other hand cups his balls to get his attention, you want him to look at you and Felix jolts, legs shaking a little as he grips the blanket under him and finally looks at you.

"Oh-" -he whimpers, seeing you drooling all over his cock, almost all of it disappearing inside your hot mouth, and when you look up at him with a dark look in your eyes, Felix crosses off you not liking his stuff, because you're obviously enjoying yourself.

"B-baby... I'm gonna cum if you continue."- he whimpers.

You pop off of him and smirk.

"You taste so good, Lixie."- you say as you bite on your lip with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah?"- he asks, his face red.

"Mhm."- you lift up and grab his face, crashing your lips on his and kissing him fervently.

He kisses you back desperately, and you can't wait anymore so you push him down and lean back.

Without words, you unhook your bra and toss it somewhere aside and Felix gulps as he looks at your breasts.

His hands are on your hips as he sits up and hooks his fingers in your panties.

"Let me."- he says and you nod as he slowly slides them off, your slick dripping down your inner thigh and Felix can smell your sweet juice.

He licks his lips, feeling hungry for you even more.

You smirk at his face and manouver over to lay down on the bed as he follows your movements.

"Come get a better look at what belongs to you, Lixie."- you smirk and Felix groans, his cock twitching hard and leaking again as you spread your legs.

Your glistening cunt is on display and he looks mesmerized again as his hand moves on it's own, fingertips on your wet folds.

"You're so wet."- he whispers.

"You did that."- you whisper back.

"I did?"- he asks.

"Yeah, you did baby. It's all for you."- you moan when he experimentally presses his thumb into your clit.

"Here?"- he asks, and you nod, your eyes falling to his cock and you can see that he's so hard, so ready to be inside you.

He circles his thumb on your sensitive nub, picking up on your reactions and making mental notes of what you like the most.

Your cunt keeps gushing with arousal and Felix feels pride swell in his chest as he runs his middle finger on your dripping folds.

"Can I?"- he asks for permission like the sweet boy he is and you nod.

"Please."- you whine and Felix slowly pushes his finger inside your wetness.

"Ah Lixie!"- you moan as he starts slowly pumping his finger, his thumb still on your clit.

"You sure you've never done this?"- you pant as he speeds up a little.

"Yeah."- he chuckles.

"So good! I need more Lixie, please."- you whimper, hips lifting up into him.

"Your wish is my command, baby."- he says, slowly pushing another finger inside you, your cunt stretching around him as you moan his name.

Felix checks off not being able to please you because he's obviously doing something right.

"Lix- Lixie, I need your cock!"- you become desperate and Felix's face flushes with warmness, traveling down his neck, to his heart, then to his navel right to his hard cock.

"O-okay."- he slowly pulls his fingers out and without thinking he wraps his lips around them to taste you.

You moan at the sight and Felix feels a little embarassed but you look so ready for him that he throws the embarassment in the back of his mind.

"There's a condom on the night stand."- you turn your head towards it and he nods grabbing it, before kneeling between your legs and pausing.

"What is it?"- you lean on your elbows as Felix looks unsure again.

"Can you- can you help me put it on?"- he asks timidly and you nod with a reassuring smile.

"Ofcourse, baby."- you say, grabbing the condom from his hands and opening up the wrapper with your teeth.

Felix smiles excitedly and nervously as you smirk up at him, the fact that he'll be inside you in mere seconds making his brain explode.

You slowly roll the condom on and he whimpers, biting on his lip as his eyes flutter shut.

"Come here."- you beckon him, your legs wrapping around his hips, bringing him closer and making his tip rub against your wet pussy.

There's just a moment of silent exchanges of looks full of love before he sinks his cock into your heat, stretching you perfectly, filling you up.

Both of you moan as he slowly opens you up and bottoms out.

"Oh my god. You're so warm and tight."- he whimpers into your ear and you let out a small chuckle, your pussy clenching around him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud."- he grunts.

"It's okay Lixie. I wanna hear how good I feel to you."- you run your hands through his hair as he admires you.

He leans in for a kiss, something familiar in this new moment before he slowly starts moving his hips.

Your lover is all around you and inside you and both of you get lost in the moment, moving together into each other's bodies.

Your cunt wraps perfectly around him and you keep getting more wet making him slide more easily inside you, and Felix speeds up as he looks at your face contorted in pleasure, pretty moans spilling out of your lips.

He feels so prideful and happy that he's making you feel so good that more blood rushes to his cock, making him throb inside you.

Your moans get louder and more high pitched, he must be hitting the spot and bringing you to your high.

He gets so excited seeing you like that, that he fucks into you faster making you keen as you dig your nails into his back.

Bang!

Felix hits his head on the godforsaken shelf you installed randomly one day just so you can put some books and trinkets on it. He halts his movements groaning and cursing under his breath, and for good measure a book falls right on his head because of the force of his head colliding with the shelf.

The speed with which he pulls out of you and rolls over to face the wall, grabbing at his head, groaning loudly in pain and embarassment as he pulls his legs up in a fetal position, leave you stunned and you wonder for a moment what just happened.

A laugh bubbles in your throat and you stiffle it, cursing yourself in your head before you cautiously roll over to your side and hover above Felix.

"Lix?"- you say.

"Lix is not here."- his voice is muffled as he buries his face in your blankets.

"Baby. Are you okay?"- you ask, your hand on his head, gently caressing him and he hisses.

"No, not really. That was the most embarassing thing that ever happened to me."- he whimpers, his eyes teary from the pain and embarassment he feels. "I just lost the last ounce of confidence I had. Probably also gave myself a concussion."

"It's okay, things like this happen in the bedroom all the time. This isn't a porn movie or something."- you try to comfort him.

"Y/n, just laugh at me. I can hear it in your voice."- he sniffles and you sigh.

"I won't laugh at you, I promise, I'm sorry, okay? It's my fault for putting the stupid shelf there."- you wrap your arms around him and Felix wants the earth to open up and make him disappear right this instant.

"No, it's my fault for being clumsy and embarassing."- he whimpers. "And my head really hurts now."- he adds, thinking that this wasn't one of the scenarios he prepared for.

"We can put some ice on it. I'll give you some painkillers. Just look at me first."- you say, caressing him.

"Nuh-uh."- he refuses to budge as you try to turn him around.

"Come on Lixie, it's not that serious. We can continue later."- you lean in and kiss his shoulder.

"You still wanna continue?"- he finally turns to look at you and your heart hurts at his teary eyes.

"Ofcourse I do."- you coo at him as you pull him into your arms and he buries his face in your chest.

"Me too but I need to gather all my brain cells back first."- he mumbles into your skin and you chuckle as you hold him, gently caressing his head.

"They're around somewhere."- you joke, trying to relax him. "We'll find them. We have all night."

"We do, yeah?"- he looks up at you with his big bambi eyes, making your heart swell as you lean in and kiss him lovingly.

You're sitting in the kitchen, him in his boxers and you in one of his shirts you borrowed as you hold the bag of frozen peas on his head.

He drinks the painkillers you gave him with water and looks at you, his face red and eyes full of regret and embarassment.

"I knew it couldn't be perfect. I'm sorry y/n, I really wanted to make you feel good and-"

"Lix, nothing is perfect. Stuff like this happens a lot, trust me. At least we have a funny memory we can always remember."- he sighs and nods.

"And you did make me feel good. So don't worry. This is just like... intermission."- you say and he chuckles. "There's still a whole other part of entertainment we will get to."- you add, smirking as you lean closer to his face.

"I feel like that's gonna be my favorite part."- he says and you agree, chuckling with him.

"Let's just not entertain ourselves under the shelf anymore because I don't think my head and my pride can take any more blows."- Felix says and you laugh as you lean in to kiss him.

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny

Hope you like this lovey💕🤭 @lixies-favorite-cookie

[honeydazai]

୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ taking care of you when you're sick

feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma

warnings: none!

join my tag list here! 🪻

The moment you fall sick, DAZAI gets all the more annoying, obnoxious to the core as he whines about how unfair it is that you're sick and he's not — translating to “that you don't have to go to work and he does”. He might just use your sickness as an excuse to stay at home himself; after all, when you're in this critical of a condition, he has to be by your side at all times, right? Just in case of an emergency. Surely Kunikida and the President agree.

Taking care of others or even of himself isn't what he's particularly good at, though he will pretend to be absolutely certain about cuddling being a certain cure for any illness. If you threaten to give him the cold shoulder otherwise, he'll also go to the pharmacy and buy you medication, though he will either complain about it, or he'll play it up to be his God-given mission to save his stunning girlfriend's life.

“Hm? What do you mean, bella? Of course I've got the President's 'okay' for staying at home. Taking care of you is most important, after all, don't you agree? .. Don't be mean, I am taking care of you. I made you tea just now, didn't I?"

CHŪYA really doesn't like it whenever you're sick. While he's faced a handful of way more threatening situations before, he can't help but worry when you whine about your head hurting and your throat aching, about your stomach acting up or your vision blurring. It's not his fault that you're on his mind all day — he just wants you to be well. Is that too much to ask for?

Naturally, that translates to him being awfully good when it comes to him nursing you back to health. He wouldn't describe himself as a natural caretaker, but he is, in a way; he's protective and caring by nature, and he makes sure you're relatively well before he leaves for work every day. You don't just get the best medication on the market, but also energising meals made by him with the help of authentic recipes from elderly women he found online. To not fully lose his image, he half-heartedly complains occasionally, though his words are immediately redeemed by his beaming smile when he notices you're faring better.

“Jeez, that's one annoying cold you've got. It's been, what, like two weeks now and it's still not gone. Whatever. I've found this new soup recipe, though. It looks promising enough, doesn't it? I'll try to make it for dinner.”

RANPO admittedly is rather bad at taking care of you. To be blunt, he much prefers it when you coddle and spoil him, not the other way around, though he tries in his own ways — which mostly include sharing his snacks with you and being near you despite the risk of getting infected himself.

Unfortunately, you're not spared from his usual honesty; when you look downright awful, dark circles underneath your eyes, he will tell you just that. If you flake out on any dates the two of you had planned previously, he will whine, but at least he won't hold a grudge. While he's not particularly committed to being a caretaker, he at least stays by your side and brings you medicine and painkillers.

“You should eat more, y'know. Yes, I know you're nauseous. You've said so about twenty times already. You won't feel any better until you eat and drink enough, though. That's common sense.”

Naturally, FYODOR is more than simply good at taking care of you whenever you fall ill. With his age, it's no wonder that he has quite some experience and knows of many ways to heal you, though some of them might include disgusting homebrewed potions. You're best of just not asking what they're made of if you want to have any chance in downing them.

Unfortunately, his approach to helping you regain your health is more clinical than loving. He takes wonderful care of you, but he's not the type to cuddle with you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you're sneezing and coughing. If you ask sweetly enough, however, he might just read you a bedtime story or two.

“What is it, dear? I was just going to get you a new glass of water. .. Ah, I see. Do you really want me to stay that badly? Alright, then. Though me remaining by your side won't give you an excuse to skip taking your medication.”

It's no surprise whatsoever that NIKOLAI is not the most caring guy, simply put, and he might just tease you about being sick throughout the whole ordeal. He can't help it; you glaring at him, exhausted and sneezing, makes him giggle. Still, he's not all bad — he revels all the more in your surprised expression when he presents you with homemade soup, a family recipe, or so he tells you, and he smiles, content, when you admit that it tastes rather lovely.

With his ability, it's easy for him to get whatever you might need, whether that's food or a cup of tea or a bucket to throw up in, from the kitchen without moving from your bedside, so be prepared to spend quite a lot of time with him in the next few days — or weeks. Though, luckily, he's there to entertain you, not the other way around; when you say you want to curl up and just sleep the sickness off, he'll just keep watch next to you, silent and calm. After all, he does want you to feel better.

“Hmm, what did you say? You like my cooking? I'm honoured, doll! You're too kind! How about a quiz about what I put in there — poison, carrots, red beet, or all three? Ah, not feeling up for it, are you? What a shame. It's all three, if you're curious. I'm just kidding, of course. Don't you worry your pretty little head.”

SIGMA is the best choice for who to go to when ill. Not only is he kind and caring, he's also responsible and organised and, if you follow every step he tells you — eat his home-cooked soup, drink this medicine, sleep for as much as possible, take hot or cold compresses, inhale water with herbal essences —, you'll be at full health again in no time.

Even though he unfortunately can't stay at home all day to be by your side — duties at the casino call, even though he'd much rather not go —, he tries to spend as much time as possible with you, telling you about what has happened that day and how much he looked forward to being home with you again while your eyes flutter closed. When you've almost fallen asleep, his lips gently press against your forehead, even if that means he risks getting sick himself.

“Are you feeling better yet? No? Well, that's to be expected. It's only been a day, after all. I've brought you some more medicine, as well as some soup. Here, give it a taste, will you?”

@chxrry-doll @irethepotato @beandaifuku, @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri @lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @alice0blog @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @C4xcocoa

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[reticent-writer]

hiii just found you, and was wondering if you could do like the hashira’s reactions to a half demon, half human child (maybe toddler age). The child would be introduced at one of the hashira meetings

Then again I don’t know if you’ve already done this but yeah…

I have done something similar but I can't find it

Demon slayer masterlist

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

"Hey, kid!" A lowered rank yelled at you. It was the middle of the night and you were alone in the middle of the woods, playing without a care in the world.

"Kid where are your parents!" He got closer while still yelling.

This time you turned to face him. Your eyes glowed in the dark scaring the poor guy.

"Hi." You smiled while waving.

"What are you doing out here?"

"playin' "

"Where are your parents?" He asked again. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Come with me I'll take you somewhere safe." He leaned down to your height while holding out his arm, You hesitantly took it.

He took you to the master's estate in hopes of him finding a place for you

Ubuyashiki couldn't find your family so he made arrangements for you to live with him and his family

during this time his wife noticed your weird behaviors like not eating or sleeping, feeling nauseous around the scent of wisteria, your skin getting irritated when your out in the sun for too long

She brought this up with her husband and he asked you If you were a demon to which you replied

"Yes and no but master said it's a secret"

it's no longer a secret cause he called a meeting

"Hello my children, I've called you all here on account of my guest. A child was found playing in the woods, They have been living here for a while and we have suspected they might be a cross of demon and human."

"How is that possible?"

"Can we met them."

"I don't want to met another demon." Sanemi said with a tone of arrogance.

"Then go home no one needs the attitude." Tengen sassed.

"You-"

"I for one would like to see what they are like!" Rengoku boasted, accidentally cutting Sanemi off. He couldn't hear him.

"Are we sure it's safe. We do not know its intention." Gyomei asked.

"During the time they were here they never ate or was agressive towards anyone. Why don't you come out Y/n, I know you're listening."

You slightly opened the door to the engawa and peaked your head out.

"They're gonna kill me." You whined.

"No ones gonna kill you," Ubuyashiki and his children chuckled, "Can you come here please."

You thought for a minute before slowly making your way over to him, careful not making eye contact with the hashira.

"Aw how cute." Mitsuri gushed.

"What's wrong with it."

"Still with the attitude."

"Poor thing is scared." Gyomei started to tear up.

"They don't look the least bit demon." Iguro noted.

"Cause I'm not... Not fully." You said.

"What does that mean, Y/n?" Kagaya asked.

You shrugged, Sanemi groaned, "No disrespect master, but I don't see the purpose of keeping it alive."

"I second that."

"I told you they wanted to kill me!" You cried while running back into the mansion.

"...Well then I guess this meeting it over. You are dismissed."

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

[idksomething327]

How to vomit safely

Here, I'm going to talk about how to vomit safely, a simple list of advice that I wish I had a long while ago. Even if you don't need this, please reblog, as I want more people to be educated on this. If I missed anything, got anything wrong, or you have any questions, please do dm, comment, ask, whatever.

One of the most important things- Space out your vomiting, let your body take a break! Don't throw up too often, it's terrible for you. It doesn't make it okay that you're doing it for pleasure instead of an eating disorder. It doesn't make it okay that you don't feel it hurting you. It doesn't make it okay that you're doing it as safe as possible. Those were some things I told myself when I was somewhat addicted to puking, but it still doesn't make it okay to do it often. Vomiting too frequently can result in tooth decay, weakening of the esophageal sphincter, acid reflux, and increased risk of cancer to name a few. My new years resolution was to make myself throw up less than once a month. Find something that works for you and lets your body rest.

Prep for vomiting. Wash your hands. Seriously. They will be going in your mouth. That's where you put food, so if there's anything on them you wouldn't be comfortable eating, wash them again. Eat a good sized meal so you have something to throw up, and know that if you do it in advance, the vomit will be a bit smoother and more digested. Immediately before vomiting, drink a lot of water to help it come up, and I mean like two or three average plastic bottles worth. Don't eat anything dark or red like pasta sauce or a smoothie before vomiting, as it's important to see if there's any blood in the vomit so you can stop before pushing yourself even more. Don't forget you can always drink more water while vomiting, so don't push yourself to get all those stubborn, painful chunks up at the end.

There are several methods to vomit, so I'll go through each. First is using your fingers. Start by washing your hands, as previously mentioned, and of course, position yourself over where you wish to vomit. Put one or two fingers in your mouth and gently massage the back of your throat. Don't do it as fast and hard as the people you see online if you're just starting out, get used to what makes you gag first, it's sensitive back there, after all. And watch out for your fingernails. Obviously, if you're touching yourself as you do this, wash your hands in between or use different hands.

Stuffing. I wouldn't recommend stuffing with food, at least not until you've gotten good at it, because it is harder to force up and you don't want to risk damage to the stomach. I would, however, suggest stuffing with water. Simply have a big meal, then drink cup after cup of water until you're nauseous and ready to burst, then let yourself vomit. One of the best ways to vomit naturally. But you will have to be willing to use fingers to vomit any remaining water afterwards, as water intoxication is serious.

Homemade emetics. NEVER use homemade emetics. Some of the ones I see suggested online are salt water and baking soda water. The reasons these work to make you vomit is because your body's salt levels spike, leading you to vomit to force it out. It is important to note that your body will not vomit unless it considers the issue dangerous, and even if it does, it can't get all the salt out. This can leave you horribly dehydrated and, if bad enough, even hospitalized. Think of it this way, the vomit response is in place to get rid of anything poisonous, so don't eat poisonous things to try to vomit. There's also homemade emetics of gross things such as mustard water, and that may not be dangerous, but your puke will taste gross, so why would you even do that?

After vomiting, rinse your mouth with water. Don't brush your teeth, apparently it's not good for them. Drink water. You will be dehydrated after puking, even if you drank water before. If your appetite isn't gone, eat a snack or small meal. If you know in advance that you won't have an appetite, try to stop puking early to leave some food in your stomach.

Another option to vomit is store bought emetics. Being honest, I know nothing of store bought emetics or their safety, so instead, I'll talk about where to learn. Don't trust Google, that's the place that will tell you salt water is safe. Talk to your doctor. They will not judge you for your kink and will try their best to educate you (better than I can) and make it as safe as possible. But, I know, it can be difficult to talk to your doctor sometimes, so if you're nervous, find an online doctor instead, even a social media based one. A reputable one, as any professional doctor will educate instead of shaming. If that still isn't an option for you, you can send asks or dms to emeto blogs. Although they may not be professional, they may have information you need.

Anyway, I know this got long, but again, message me with anything. I want this to be the post I wish I had when I was starting.

[pacthesis]

im not kidding applebees all you can eat nearly killed me

had a great time

absolutely would do it again

PSA 1: if ur throwing up don't chug water and gatorade cause ur scared of dehydration (suck on ice cubes instead)

PSA 2: more than 32 oz (about a liter) of water per hour is probably too much

PSA 3: if ur like me and eating out makes you drink a lot of water/fluids and you have a habit of fasting when ur not hungry- that can be dangerous

im SO lucky to be alive and ok

i've written a long detailed diary entry mostly cause i want to comprehend what happened and never forget this:

first of all its not applebees fault

so friday the 13th lol (6/13/2025) me and pizza man do the all you can eat

my expectations were low but i really enjoyed it

except i tried the pecan blondie brownie dessert- shockingly terrible: dry and tasteless blondie, maple cream cheese sauce was actually gross imo (i don't think im picky especially when it comes to sweets) ice cream and nuts were fine though

but anyway i ate too much lmao

i wasn't that hungry- and it wasn't that good

i like to challenge myself sometimes- i was mostly curious: "if i could still do it" (it was kinda my party trick in college)

i had fries, coleslaw, 2 portions of popcorn shrimp, 2 portions of riblets, 1 portion of chicken tenders- then the whole pecan blondie brownie (pizza man didn't try it cause he thought it smelled icky lol)

thought i was gonna puke (didn't happen though) i was SO full

***

next day saturday (6/14/2025) i felt fine but didn't eat all day and just had a slice of pizza, egg and hash browns with ketchup for dinner cause i wasn't really hungry

i almost didn't eat dinner- i'll admit maybe i was curious: "if i could do it"

earlier that day we went to a church sale and half price books and hung out with pizza man's childhood friend: we were talking about how when we cook we don't add salt cause usually it just tastes fine while we think its funny how pizza man loves things to taste very salty...

that night he apparently has a dream where pizza man is eating straight up salt to "balance out his levels" or whatever

***

sunday (6/15/2025) father's day: i wake up feeling normal and ask pizza man if he wants to go to target cause i wanna get this bow hair clip:

he says sure but after he does his typical morning run with his mom

then i have this headache as im washing dishes- i think its caffeine withdrawal- i have my morning coffee and take 2 ibuprofen

but it gets worse- i throw up a couple of times- i don't feel well enough to go to target (or anywhere)

pizza man offers to go get the bow hair clip for me and returns with it within the hour

i was so nauseous i couldn't eat all day or move much

maybe it was a migraine but it was a first

i felt sensitive to light and noise and wore sunglasses and earplugs but wasn't sure if it was just in my head from googling my symptoms (pizza man's mom thought it was so funny he was out ignorantly grinding a cast iron pan while i was inside cringing lol)- i was miserable with or without the noise and light tbh

i read on reddit that people have "migraine hangovers" afterwards and often craved mcdonalds and i was like "aw man i can't wait until i feel well enough to crave mcdonalds again!" lmao

im using a foot bath cause i read it can bring some relief to my misery- it actually kinda works

pizza man asks if its ok if he leaves to have father's day dinner with his family and i tell him its ok but he returns quickly because he's worried about me

when he returns i ask him to make me some oatmeal (with water- im worried milk will upset my gut) and to bring me raisins with honey then i took another ibuprofen with a tylenol and an excedrin cause i was scared of having a stroke or heart attack (but immediately puked anyway)

i throw up into the foot bath, pizza man brings our (emptied) recycling bin over and i throw up into that too- im throwing up so much- so im chugging water, gatorade, pediatric (dose makes the poison)

i remember hiccupping uncontrollably

pizza man actually kept these bottles because he thought some documentation would be helpful for the doctors:

(it was these 2 along with a few cups of water we believe)

there wasn't diarrhea and i knew it wasn't food poisoning but i've had it a few times in the past and dehydration scared me

i was googling stuff like “when/at what point to go to ER” but felt like the vomiting would eventually stop then i’d be able to sleep it off- i just needed to stay hydrated

i was like "im being smart- this is a close call- im gonna avoid going to the ER- im gonna show up for work tomorrow" then i time warped to wednesday in the hospital

i don't remember monday and tuesday

***

past midnight early into monday morning (6/16/2025) pizza man and his dad take me to the hospital cause im confused and can't talk right

i don't remember leaving the house

i don't even remember standing up from the end of the bed

apparently i walk- holding onto pizza man

he says i started drooling in the waiting room and that just seemed bad

they say they can have a room available by 2pm (its like 2am at the moment) but then they find one open

pizza man says at one point they asked him to leave the room so they could ask me some things- later when im released he asked if i remember what the questions were (i confirm i don’t remember monday or tuesday- not that i mind)

me and pizza man wait in the room alone for doctors and stuff- but then i vomit more (dark green bile) and start foaming at the mouth and convulsing

im having a seizure (generalized tonic-clonic) pizza man starts screaming for help and presses the call help button- obviously very traumatic for him to witness and watch

it lasts for about 180 seconds (3 minutes)

i snore super loud after the seizure according to my father-in-law- and my face was white and colorless

call me vain but i was glad i didn’t lose or chip any teeth or whatever

they do a lumbar puncture into my spine to test for meningitis

they asked pizza man if he had any questions- he asks “what if its not meningitis?” and they basically go “we hope it is so we can treat it”

its negative

it also checked for subarachnoid hemorrhaging (can cause a stroke: bleeding in the area between ur brain and tissues around it)- also negative

doctor told my mom he was scared cause i was "healthy and young" and at this point there was only 7 things he could do for me

they insert the PICC line that goes to my heart (pizza man says "a really big guy" came and did it) and IV and catheter and begin raising my sodium levels

i continue to projectile vomit on several occasions over the course of the morning (some of the nurses joke about how they just have vomit all over them lol)

im encephalopathic, unable to follow commands and nonverbal

im high risk for decompensation (organ failure)

i have sepsis (my body's response to infection is causing injury to its own tissues and organs)

then suddenly my catheter rapidly fills up

they have rapid overcorrection- which is another medical emergency (listening to some videos on how to treat hyponatremia im kinda surprised they didn’t accidentally kill me- there are so many things to figure out prior doing anything plus it seems hard to get the water, sodium and potassium ratios right)

that put me at high risk for ODS (obstructed defecation syndrome- i guess i would always be constipated)

i had some predictions about my life and knew life was unpredictable in general but didn't expect at the age of 31 to be quote "the sickest person in the hospital"

apparently so many doctors are going in and out of my room- like a revolving door

before pizza man even contacted my parents my mom said she actually felt "things weren't right" that night somehow

pizza man was heartbroken cause he wasn't sure if i would "come back"

he said it was very hard to leave the hospital without me (he didn't expect that- it felt wrong for him) when he went up to the front desk he didn't even know how to ask: "can i uh- like..." and they go "oh- come back? yes! just give us her name" and he was like "yeah!"

my mom said the hardest question for her was "is she full code?" (should we do every possible measure in order to save the patient's life?)

she said yes

i read through (and partially summarized above and below) my long list of care notes and tests and i can see why the doctors were scared:

kidneys and organs were functioning

thyroid normal

no medications

no medical conditions

no alcohol/drugs

no tobacco (can lower sodium apparently)

no history or family history of epilepsy seizures migraines

before my parents leave a doctor says "im taking amy away to do the stent on her heart" and my mom was like "i thought nothing was happening tonight??" but doc leaves and goes "i cannot discuss that with you"

then a nurse comes to apologize to my parents and tells em "the doctor feels stupid- the stent is for the patient in the next room"

my mom woulda preferred if he came to apologize for himself of course

there was a band with a barcode on my wrist and we believe there is a system to confirm and keep people from getting mixed up but it was still spooky for my family to experience that

pizza man says me and his grandpa are the 2 people he’s seen so close to actual death

the doctors told my parents "she is unresponsive and mentally unstable"- it seems like they don't expect me to wake up

***

tuesday (6/17/2025) they hooked all these wires up to my head to check for brain activity but afterwards my mom said i was greasy and kinda "gross" looking lol

so she and my dad spent an hour and a half washing my hair

then i opened my eyes

the doctors are shocked and get very excited- they tried sticking me in an MRI machine but i tried to crawl out cause they put me on ativan

the neurologist kept asking me stuff like "how many nickels are in a dollar?", "what is this called? (pointing to a watch face or watch band)"

when he pointed to the watch face i said “watch”- when he pointed to the band i said nothing

then he would ask "what hospital are you at right now?"- i answered “hop kinsss”

he would then tell me which hospital we were at

then he would ask a couple of other questions and then ask “what hospital are you at right now?“ again

still answered “hop kinsss”

he asked "why is she saying that? what is hopkins? did she go to hopkins high school?" and my parents were like no! pizza man was like aw man if amy lives through this she will just think this is so funny

pizza man thinks "hopkins" just kind of sounds like "hospital"

but the neurologist said it was hard to tell if i got brain damage or if it was the ativan lol

my mom kept asking me "who is this??" and pointing to family members that visited:

i knew my mom and dad

for pizza man i said his name sweetly (we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary last month may 2025)

for my father-in-law i answered with his name but seriously (that made pizza man think "oh maybe amy is still in there") lol

i kept asking for coffee also lmao but my mom said that brought her some comfort because to her “thats a sign amy is still there”

they continue to raise my sodium slowly (if they go too fast that would kill me) pizza man tells my mom every time he took me to mcdonald’s he was saving my life- she laughs

pizza man says i had such dry lips and wanted water (couldn’t have it- was on fluid restriction) so my mom used these brushes to dab water on them

him and his dad thought my mom looked like a mother robin bird and the look on my face looked like a baby’s- they told her “she seems to really like the vaseline”

but my mom believed i was just still mostly a body, reacting (i don’t have any memories of this)

pizza man’s sister was like “this is great- amy’s getting everyone off of work” and i laughed when i was told that once i was conscious but that made me feel good cause i mean if this happened to someone else i knew i think i’d also be like “lets gooo- who cares about work!” tbh i kinda wanted to watch my own “car crash”

pizza man also brought the bow hair clip he got for me on sunday to see if i would remember it

and he brought this plush seal a childhood friend since middle school got for me a while back and asked "whats his name?" because he couldn't remember and i correctly told him "tory" (short for “tornado torpedo”)

i closed my eyes and puckered my lips for pizza man and my dad was like "she wants a kiss"

pizza man gave me a nice little kiss but wasn't sure if it was appropriate at the time but he thought it was sweet still

pizza man and visitors also enjoyed this giant monster rabbit that could be seen outside my window too i guess

the rabbit is my zodiac animal “secret friend” (a sign that brings balance and help in times of difficulty apparently) but they're really common to spot in the wild tbh

pizza man said it was also really hard to see my stuff around the home without me around

there was a 1:1 nurse with me monday and tuesday night cause i couldn’t call for help and they didn't want me trying to get up by myself or yanking on my stuff

***

by wednesday (6/18/2025) i "wake up"- i remember wednesday

im covered in wires and tubes: who knows what on my chest, IV in my right arm, PICC line in my left arm, hooked up to a catheter, finger oxygen sensor, bright yellow wristband that reads "FALL RISK"

im wearing a blue gown and white robe (pizza man says i got very cold)

initially i was like "oh god the financial cost of this" but quickly i was like "eh whatever- doesn't matter"

i actually upgraded my health insurance when i turned 30 just cause i thought "eh its time for better insurance"

doctors and nurses seemed surprised i made it

they were pumping me with sodium and potassium but at one point it dropped anyway but eventually my body just fixed itself and they kinda shrugged and were like "cool i'll take it!"

they send a dietitian student in and he asks me what i eat and he goes "huh- you eat healthy"

the neurologist visits and i loudly go “i remember you!” but im confused- i have no memories of him- he just has one of those looks

“neurologist” is also too complicated of a word for me to retain today so i keep saying “brain guy”

he says something interesting: “throwing up shouldn’t cause low sodium” (as i currently understand: low sodium can cause vomiting but not the other way around? i've heard doctors on youtube say the opposite- situations/cases can differ, people can be wrong and opinions can contradict i guess)

when we pressed with other questions he professionally answers that he can only talk about the brain- i kinda liked that (stay in ur lane brain boy)

my parents and a lot of pizza man's family came to visit me throughout the day

im shocked to hear about my seizure- but thats also a word i can’t retain- i remember it starts with the letter “s” and it wasn’t a stroke- i tell my brain “its seize seize- seizure”

i talk about applebee’s all you can eat- my dad goes “ooh that sounds good”

pizza man said that day i was "more quirky" but he was ok with that- maybe even kinda liked it lol

he also said the doctors and nurses said i was "very nice" even when i was out of it and that i should put that on my resume (maybe a somewhat weird thing to say imo but whatever they mean well i guess- i think everyone gets a pass to be a cunt sometimes)

he kept telling me he was so so happy i "came back"

another childhood friend since middle school (who didn't know this was going on) actually randomly texted me a trauma center game meme but i didn't have access to my phone until a few days later (it was a game i enjoyed when i was in high school and i was actually thinking about it when i was conscious in the hospital)

my parents and pizza man kept asking me if i would like pizza man to bring me the bow hair clip he got for me on sunday

i was like "bah nah that doesn't matter" but throughout the day they started seeing my memory was improving on its own

so while i was dying pizza man appeared on an episode of america's funniest home videos on tv and the host for whatever reason said "believe it or not, ladies- he's single"

pizza man knew i'd find it funny if i lived but at the time he didn't like that of course lol

he said he was thinking if i did die he was happy we at least had a nice last date at applebeees lmao

he said he wasn't ready for that though- he would've probably quit his job and stuff

i know i got extremely lucky but this actual experience wasn't that bad! i didn't have any suffering thanks to the doctors/nurses and my family and pizza man

the thought of going to the hospital was much much worse

and hospital food was pretty good actually!

a nurse helped tie my hair back to keep it out of the way

also when a nurse helped me go #2 she was like "the catheter must be so uncomfortable :(" and i was like "actually- its not that bad!" like whenever i'd see a commercial for one on tv i was like "oh god that looks awful" lol

tmi (this is all tmi tbh lol) for what it feels like to be hooked up to a catheter

at first i was like “how do i pee?” and they were like “you don’t- you have a catheter”

as time passed they were right- it just.. happens

#2 was usual though- except a nurse would watch me and hold my catheter as i carefully maneuvered to the bathroom- sometimes they would step out and close the door (cause it was awkward for them i assume) i didn’t mind at that point lol

actually even when im all there in the head i don’t even mind if im seen casually in my birthday suit by randos- its just never been weird for me for some reason

catheter itself didn’t really feel that weird or uncomfortable

i walk around a bit in the hallways with pizza man as he held my catheter- my legs felt very weak

he thinks the catheter makes me look like a grand theft auto character

when everyone leaves- i pass time by cleaning the dirt under my nails

i don't have a 1:1 nurse watching me this night and i fall asleep around 1:30am

***

thursday (6/19/2025) we have off from work- its the juneteenth holiday

on monday pizza man contacted my employer and they used 4 PTO days for the week for me

im a little naughty- i get up by myself and wash my hair in the sink

i knew it was a liability thing and i wasn't supposed to get up by myself- but i was curious (the curiosity of "if i could still do it"- maybe that drive might take me out one day lol) but i thought it wouldn't hurt anyone

my mom was a little annoyed/mad yet relieved when she found out lol

my father-in-law brings coffee and donuts both wednesday and thursday morning (cause i was always asking for coffee lol)

the neurologist or “brain guy” comes and asks me how many nickels are in a dollar- i confidently answer “100!”- pizza man thought that was cute

at this point they believe the seizure was from low sodium so they back off on another MRI or seizure meds

a nurse comes in and asks the visitors to step out- we both wear face masks as she removes the PICC line from my arm (was conscious for that and surprised to not feel anything as she took it out)

she goes "i'll show you it when im done" (doesn't ask if im squeamish- but maybe she could tell i was interested in that kind of stuff)

its very long- i tell her thats very cool- this is when i find out that was connected to my heart

she asks me if i remember why im in the hospital- i go “the migraine”- she goes “no well you couldn’t stop throwing up”

later another doctor and nurse come rip off the stuff on my chest, the IV, finger oxygen sensor- and remove the catheter also (felt that just a little lol)

i take a couple of tylenol every few hours to ease my headache

i worry and ask the doctors about it- i don't want to become dependent on it- they tell me its safe and my worries ease because i no longer feel like i need anymore that night (or for the following days)

so far the known issue was low sodium (117) and severe hyponatremia

the doctors are humans and have differing opinions so some thoughts contradict but so far the one belief that makes sense to me is "it was just the perfect storm"

in the evening im released from the hospital and pizza man brings me home

my mom is surprised- she thought i'd be well enough to go home the next day friday

but i didn't feel like i was currently dying- i thought it was time for me to leave and for the doctors and nurses to save someone else now

my parents and pizza man’s family drop off a lot of food and a gift basket

and my employer sent me flowers

i was maybe a bit surprised- been there for over 10 years but thought "eh maybe they'll think about letting me go" lol

***

friday (6/20/2025) the first full day of being home im pretty much normal with some slight memory issues (like forgetting where the tea goes, the name of pizza man's oldest aunt, not making my yogurt the "most efficient way", etc) and im using a walker as a precaution- im slightly wobbly

pizza man kept telling me it was so awesome to hear me around the home and that i “came back”

imo he was already very in love with me but he keeps saying the experience somehow made him “fall deeply in love” with me lol

he keeps checking my head for a fever and he watches over me carefully for the first couple of days at home- im sure he has PTSD honestly and i was worried about him but he’s doing great now actually

we’re really lucky the house has handle bars by some of the entrances and in the bathroom and its generally accessible because this used to be grandpa’s house- i expected the handle bars to be useful to us one day but not this soon

i was also looking at a fashion catalog and didn't feel "spicy" but felt more "heterosexual" somehow

but by saturday (6/21/2025) and sunday (6/22/2025) my memory is "very good" again, im not using a walker anymore and i looked at the catalog again and my sexuality feels queer as usual lol

pizza man asked me “how many nickels are in a dollar?”- this time i answered “20” after thinking on it for a few seconds

its incredible the people got me through this unscathed

before all this pizza man sometimes told me he was gonna be sad when my memory starts going because its just so good

but he told me he likes me however- and he would always take care of me and his goal is to do his best to help me become independent again- im still kind of processing that tbh

pizza man was like "when you were in the hospital i was like "oh man i wish amy was here with me so she could guide me and tell me what to do through this situation of her being in the hospital :("

then also i had an excuse to invite my friends over to hang out- that was nice

***

hyponatremia risk factors (korey stringer institute)

exercise duration greater than 4 hours or slow pace: no

AFAB: yes

low body weight: i guess

excessive drinking (>1.5 L/hour) during the event: possible

abundant availability of drinking fluids at event: possible

nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, antidepressants, or diuretics use: my two 200mg of ibuprofen in the morning then the one 200mg of ibuprofen and 500mg of tylenol at night???? maybe they just added to the recipe for disaster

other drugs associated with SIADH (SSRI’s): no

not heat acclimatized: guess i don't sweat much but i mean i still sweat

low sodium diet: initially i was like LOW SODIUM?? HOW? but i've been reading nutrition labels (especially serving sizes) and i'll admit maybe its a possibility idk

extreme hot or cold environment: not those days (high: 73℉, low: 53℉ friday 6/13/2025 through sunday 6/15/2025)

i don't mind being a cautionary tale

because the cause of my hyponatremia seems to be possibly caused by my funky eating schedule and chugging liquids: so far the dr notes and advice to prevent me from having it again basically say "drink/eat sodium (2,300 mg/day) and don't drink more than 2 liters of liquids a day"

at first when they told me "don't drink more than 2 liters a day" i was like "yea- i don't usually do that- i only did that cause of that wicked headache and i was puking and scared" and when they were like "listen to ur body" i was like "yea- i do- i was just so nauseous i couldn't eat- tried anyway but i puked"

i was also much more concerned with the headache randomly coming back and not worried about my sodium levels- i believed the headache caused me to vomit and to drink water- which jacked up my sodium

but the more im reading and recalling what i did- the more i'll accept its possible the headache and sickness on sunday was caused by low sodium

i don’t think that was a migraine anymore

low sodium symptoms (https://www.singlecare.com/conditions/low-sodium-symptoms)

headache

nausea 

loss of appetite 

vomiting

feeling tired 

dizziness

muscle weakness/cramps

“low sodium is a common health condition that can affect anyone, regardless of age, sex, race, or ethnicity”

generally when i eat out i drink a lot of water during and afterwards (im thirsty cause its salty)- so it probably wasn't good i drank a lot of water from applebees- then sipped water throughout the whole day saturday and only had dinner

same/similar thing apparently happened to brooke shields in 2023- and maybe also to bruce lee

told pizza man like any good scam how they get you is you think ur safe cause “thats not me- im not an athlete, out in hot weather, doing drinking contests- im a simpleton doing simple things”

i looked at my 30 oz water bottle and realized i can easily drink more than 2 refillings a day (doctors told me not to drink more than 67 oz or 2 liters a day)- so the possibility of me being overhydrated isn’t really “out there”

according to cleveland clinic

more than 32 oz (about a liter) of water per hour is probably too much

ur pee should look light yellow- clear or colorless pee may indicate you have too much water in your body

stop drinking if you feel nauseous, bloated or have a headache- these are early signs that you drank too much water

its funny cause some doctors also said i should be drinking gatorade when i do my squats and push-ups

always thought it was a marketing gimmick or for extreme athletes in hot weather

but as far as i understand it sounds like i'll also be fine if i just eat some chips or whatever

last time i saw a doctor was august 2024: did blood tests- he said i was "extremely healthy" and to see him again in 3 years unless something comes up

i used to see a primary care physician but it felt like a waste of time cause i was like 20 and nothing was ever going on

guess i got a good reason to see one again

i've been thinking about how i've been putting an effort towards working out and gained 4-5 lbs since january this year and i've thought "would this have ended up very different if i didn't gain that extra weight?"

spooky crazy

for whatever reason i was never mad or upset during this: i was trying to be patient, honest and accepting of whatever i felt or was going through- i let myself be weak and vulnerable- kept telling myself "take it easy, give urself a week- try not to be frustrated and trust ur body to recover"

there's some truth and context to "applebees almost killed me" but i think i understand the true actual cause of this mess was: my curiosity

anyway i went to hopkins for shits and giggles cause i’ve never been there before

and pizza man drew his “tippy salt” oc throwing salt at me lol

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Please forgive this fear of mine (it used to keep me safe)

let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here

pairing: poly marauders x reader (gender neutral, no use of y/n)

length: 1.9k

genre: fluff, happy ending to the angst

warnings: slytherin reader, here's the happy ending folks, reader is described as very attractive in a lot of different ways by the boys but it's all ofc still gender neutral

a/n: here it is I PROMISED I would give you the happy ending to I don’t know you anymore (maybe I never really did)

"You made James cry." You flinch at Remus's words, looking up at him from where you're sitting in the astronomy tower. He sits next to you as you look back out at the night sky, the stars blinking in and out.

"I wanted to talk to him to fix things, not make it worse," you say stubbornly. Remus raises a brow at you.

"Did you really think what you said would help?" He asks dryly. You stiffen.

"I'm trying my best."

"We all are." His words sit heavily in the silence between you, Remus looking at you pointedly, patiently, while you stare up through the clouds. As the constellations stare back at you, you find your hands bunching into fists as you miss Sirius sitting next to you, leaning against your side and pointing out stars and their names to you. You feel suddenly nauseous at the realization that you'll never have that again. Oh well.

"I would've thought it'd be Sirius up here right now. I'm sure he wants to chew me out for this," you say. Remus looks at you knowingly. 

"He's upset right now. We thought it would be best for me to come talk to you while he calms down. He loves you too much to knowingly hurt you."

"Don't say that," you snap back. Remus doesn't flinch.

"It's true. He loves you."

"Stop."

"Why is that so difficult for you to hear?" Remus pushes, gentle and soft in all the ways that make you crumble. You grit your teeth as you begin to feel your eyes burning, knowing that if you start crying, it'll make the whole thing so much worse.

"I didn't mean to do this," you say bitterly, a defensiveness in your voice that has Remus straightening. "And it'll be my fault when it wrecks everything - it already is."

"What do you mean by that, dove?" Remus asks patiently. You look at him and he stares back, lost in whatever it is you're trying to communicate.

"You think I'm horrible for leaving," your voice warbles against your will and you dig your nails into your palms. "You think I'm heartless and cruel for stringing you all along and then running away."

"Hey, love, we don't think that -"

"But it's not my fault," you barrel on. Now that you've opened the floodgates, the words burn your throat in your desperation to get them all out. "The only way to make sure the three of you don't fight over me is to leave. If I'd stayed, you would've demanded I choose one of you and no matter who I choose, it would have been wrong and it would've hurt you all and the stupid jealousy you all would've gotten lost in would've wrecked everything." You stare at Remus after your outburst, desperately wiping away the tears that have begun rolling down your cheeks. Remus stares back, shock painting his features.

"I beg your pardon?" Is all he finally says. You huff and begin to turn away, but he stops you with a delicate hand on your cheek, gently forcing you to look at him.

"I love you," he says firmly.

"I'm sorry," you whisper back.

"No, listen to me. I love you -" 

"And I'm sorry," you interrupt. Remus sighs and smoothes his thumb over your cheekbone, but lets you continue. He's never seen you hysterical like this and there's an anxiousness eating at him at your distraught state, but he can't think of anything to do other than just walk you through it. "I told you, I didn't mean to do this."

"You didn't… mean to make us fall in love with you?" Remus hesitates.

"Yes," you huff back like it's obvious. And then, much quieter, "I didn't mean to ruin everything. I swear, I didn't mean to." Something in Remus's heart clenches painfully at the sad, small, warble in your voice and he draws in a deep breath.

"Ok, sweet thing. Can I just… speak for a minute? Just listen, ok?" You wince like you're being chastised and Remus rushes to speak before another apology can tumble out of your mouth. "It's alright, you're alright. Just… I love you, ok? Hey, no, look at me. I love you. And so does James. And so does Sirius. They love you as much as they love one another and as much as they love me. And I love you as much as I love them."

"…I don't think I know what you're saying," you respond slowly, blinking rapidly. Remus smiles sheepishly and something in you softens as you let your head rest a bit where he's got your face held securely in his palms.

"It was never a competition, dove. There's no jealousy. We're… sharers. You share me with the others, right? And you share them with me? We all… share you the same way." Remus strokes your cheeks with his thumbs gently, waiting and watching as you put together what he's said.

"Oh," you say abruptly. "Oh. I hadn't - I didn't… oh." Remus lets himself laugh a bit, pulling you closer with an arm around your shoulders and smiling when you slouch against his chest, although he assumes it's mostly out of shock. You pull back after a moment, though, narrowing your eyes at him. He blinks.

"You're all awful communicators, you know," you say haughtily. He kisses you on the forehead.

"Sorry, doll."

"Whatever. I tortured us all for nothing."

"Yes, well, you do have a flair for dramatics. I think it's what Sirius loves about you." Remus pokes your side gently. You squirm a little but sit up straighter at the mention of Sirius.

"Tell them I'm sorry, will you?" You ask gently. Remus frowns.

"You'll tell them yourself… won't you?"

"Yes," you huff out a laugh. "I'm not running away again. But you'll see them before I do."

"Alright, love," Remus plants a kiss on the corner of your mouth, so soft you barely feel it. "I'll let them know."

You wonder, sort of desperately, if Remus kept his word. The way Sirius is staring at you makes you shift, rolling the tension out of your neck before you slump further down into the couch you're sitting on, looking back at him. Sirius is sitting opposite you rather pointedly, choosing the couch farthest from you as the two of you sit in the Gryffindor common room. James and Remus are supposed to be here by now, but your constant glances toward the doorway don't materialize them in front of you.

"I thought you weren't angry at us anymore," Sirius's voice snaps you back to the present. It's soft, the way he speaks to you - kind, your brain supplies weakly.

"I was never angry at you," you sit a bit straighter. Sirius shrugs, but his eyes stay trained on you.

"Avoidant, then. You're looking at me like you're waiting for me to tear you a new one."

"Well," you blink. "Are you going to?" Sirius frowns at your words, shaking his head and letting loose strands of hair fall over his eyes.

"I'm not here to have a row with you, doll," he says gently. Your shoulders drop.

"Well… you could," you point out. "I don't expect all to be forgiven just because I bat my eyes at Remus and let him kiss me a bit." Sirius leans forward at your words, propping his elbows on his knees and looking at you intently. You shift in your seat and glance at the door again.

"You seem to be under the impression that your beauty is some horrible weapon you use against us. It's really not - you're just pretty."

"Just pretty?" You say indignantly. Sirius laughs.

"Drop-dead gorgeous, of course. I didn't mean it like that - you know I think you're fit. All I'm saying is that you haven't ensnared us in any way that we're unhappy about." Sirius grins at you, canines exposed, and you roll your eyes. "I'm happy to be caught in your trap, baby."

"Oh, aren't we all," James says as he flounces into the room, Remus coming in right behind him. James settles next to you on the couch and pulls you into a crushing hug, murmuring something about how you had him so worried and he's so desperately relieved to have you back here with them all.

"What are you doing all the way over there, love?" Remus questions Sirius as he settles down next to James, fondly watching the way you smooth his curls out of your way as James buries his face in your neck.

"Didn't want to crowd them," Sirius says dryly. "Not that we all got that message." James pops his head up, blinding you with one of his million-watt smiles. 

"Am I crowding you, love?" He asks. 

"I'm alright," you respond easily, sending a smile in Sirius's direction. He stands at that, making his way over to you.

"Alright, shove off, Jamie - learn to share," is all Sirius says before he's pushing through James to get to you, Remus pulling James by the waist to sit curled up against him instead. James takes it in stride, settling with his back against the armrest and letting Remus flop against his chest. Sirius, on the other hand, is wrestling you into doing the same. He grins at James once he's got you planted on his lap, leaning against him. You only have the energy to pretend to be a little annoyed.

"Anyway," Remus begins, and all three of you soften at the lulled, sleepy quality that's taken over his voice as he melts against James's chest - you all know it's a lethal position to be in. "What was it that we heard about you not being pretty enough, dove?" You huff and James pouts sympathetically.

"I'm too pretty, I guess. That's the problem." Sirius laughs at your words, smoothing a hand over your hair when the abrupt movement of it jostles your head against his chest.

"I'll keep telling you, love - we're willing participants in this. You're not conning us into anything," he insists. You mumble out a whatever and sink further into his embrace. James nudges your leg with his foot and Remus catches you by the ankle when you go to kick back, rubbing soothing circles into the skin there.

"Our sweet baby," James coos. "You're a precious little thing, aren't you?"

"Shut up," you quip back, your voice muffled against Sirius's chest. He rubs a firm hand up and down your back and drops gentle kisses onto the crown of your head.

"I admire your confidence, lovely," Remus murmurs, his hand smoothing up and down your calf. "But I promise you haven't bewitched us against our will."

"Nah," Sirius whispers against your hair. "You've only bewitched us because we begged. So really, we're the ones who caught you." You smack Sirius's chest at his words and he grins, holding you tighter against him. "Go to sleep, doll. I promise we'll still be right here when you wake up."

"Because we'll still be under your spell," James supplies. You sigh wearily.

"Please shut up," you beg. They take no notice.

[moth-murdock]

I want her to know (he don't have it all) [Frank castle x pregnant!wife!reader]

A/n: sorry it took so long to get this out 🫣

Genre: fluff

Summary: his reaction!

Warnings: none

Other tags: Max mentioned again :D

Word count: 1.7K

My masterlist | Series masterlist

"I'm... I'm pregnant, Frank."

He freezes. The silence is deafening. But he hasn't let you go, so that must be a good sign, right?

"You serious?" He asks as he pulls back, his tone carefully neutral

You nod, holding out the positive test in your hands

"This is the third one I've taken..." You mumble nervously, still unsure of his reaction

He takes the test from you, staring at the two pink lines. There are many things that flash through his eyes, and you can tell he's at least worried, if not upset. He can't help but remember when Maria told him she was pregnant, and all the joy her and their kids brought him. And of course, the mourning and loss of all three of them.

You swallow hard, still feeling a greasy cocktail of nervous, anxious, uneasy, and scared. You go to open your mouth to speak, he doesn't give you the chance before he's pulling you into another, tighter hug. He buried your face in his chest, which you take as a bad sign.

You start to cry again, and he doesn't notice until he feels your tears soaking his shirt and your shoulders shaking with your shuddering breaths. He quickly pulls away, seeing the tears (and the bit of snot) running down your face.

"Woah, hey, whyre you cryin?"

"You're-... Gonna-... Leave me-..." You hiccup between breaths

"Who said anything about that? I'm stayin, baby. I'm not goin anywhere."

"Y-youre not?"

"Not a damn chance."

You cry even harder, now for a much better reason. He just shakes his head and holds you close again, his broad hands running up and down your back to soothe you.

After crying for a sufficiently miserable amount of time, you finally pull back from Frank's (milkers) chest to grab a tissue to blow your nose with, and he just smiles softly at how miserable you were for no reason. Before either of you can say anything, his stomach growls loudly.

"Nuff said, I think." He chuckles, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before reaching for the pizza box.

"Yeah... Sounds like something's trying to claw its way out of you..." You laugh

He opens the pizza box and pauses when he sees what's inside. You ordered his favorite pizza. The exact way he likes it.

"Woman, I'm gonna marry you all over again" he murmurs before grabbing a slice, letting out a pleased groan when he bites into it

"Yeah... Figured you'd appreciate that no matter your reaction..." You explain

"Even if I was mad, which I'm not, I wouldn't be anymore with this."

"Well, Bruce Springsteen isn't touring, so this is the next best thing I could think of..."

The smile he gives at that is... Soft. Sad, almost. You immediately think you fucked up, and he can tell by the way you tense up again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"All good. You didn't do nothin wrong."

You think for a moment how to word the question in your head, but he swallows his pizza and responds. He sits you down, and he tells you about how Maria bought them tickets while he was deployed. You nod along while eating the pizza, appreciating that he trusts you enough to tell you all of this. You feel overwhelming love for him and how despite being a man of few words, he clearly loves so deeply by how he tells a few more stories about Maria and the kids to you. And in your heart and your whole being, you know.

You are going to be the happiest little family.

***

And God damn it, you are. Whenever you're stressed about literally anything, Frank is there to help you. He was with Maria while she was pregnant, so he knows a few things. But that's not to say he isn't reading every article and book and shred of help and information.

You're about 12 weeks along now, and you both love and hate it. Sure, you're nauseous and your boobs are sore, but your baby is growing and both Frank and Max can't get enough of your little bump. Max can definitely tell that you're pregnant, as he's become very protective of you. Because if you ask Max, Frank is apparently too weak to protect you from the water monster in the shower. Or the unknown evil in that one specific throw pillow.

And Frank? Well, if you thought he was cuddly before, that was nothing. He always has a hand on your stomach. Loves to hear any update at all about the baby. He won't let you lift a finger. And if you two are disagreeing on something, he will definitely pull the experience card.

"Sorry, who's the one who's had two kids already? Yeah, thought so. It's not a good idea."

"Frank, I just want to sleep face down. The baby is the size of a lime, I don't think I'll hurt them."

"Don't risk it, sweetheart. You never know."

"Are you gonna make me Google this right now?"

"Two kids, doll. Two of em."

"And I quote, 'it is generally safe to sleep on your stomach during the first trimester of pregnancy, up to about 12 weeks'. See?"

"Nuh uh, you're at 12."

"Which means I can still sleep on my stomach this week."

After some deliberation, he finally gives as long as you promise that you won't sleep on your stomach past this week. You're just happy to sleep comfortably one last time.

Frank is such a loving husband that you almost forget that he's the Punisher. But there are a few reminders, especially when he cleans his guns every so often. He has this face when he does it, like he's angry. And honestly? You can't help but think youre in trouble or something. Once his teeth hurt from clenching his jaw so tight, he puts it all down and takes a step back. He has to remind himself that he's not going out. He's just doing maintenance. So he asks you to sit with him. Because nothing calms him down like you do.

You ask him questions in a soft voice as he works, and that also helps ground him.

"What kind of gun is that?"

"What's that piece called?"

"That one looks brand new, have you even used it?"

You sit with him at the table for a while, and you can just tell that this is bringing up memories. Memories of Maria, memories of the kids. You can tell because he stopped answering your questions, his eyes stormy and troubled as he loses himself in his thoughts again. And when his eyes flick over to you, you know you're both thinking the same unfortunate thought.

What if it happens again?

You hold each other's gaze for a moment before you reach over and place your hand over his. He turns his palm up, entwining his fingers with yours before bringing the back of your hand to his lips. His beard and mustache prickle at your skin, and he mumbles against your soft skin

"I love you."

***

You kiss Frank goodbye for work despite his protests that you need to go back to sleep and rest for the baby.

"I'm up anyway, just let me do this..."

"You both need to go back to bed."

"We'll be fine. Can I please kiss my husband goodbye now?"

He rolls his eyes dramatically but leans in anyway. He tastes like mint, and you taste like you haven't brushed your teeth yet. He doesn't say anything. He gives Max a few pats on his way out, closing the door softly. You go back to bed, since it is still really early. And you have work later, so extra sleep is appreciated.

You go about your usual routine, but right as you're about to leave, you get a call from one of Frank's coworkers. Some kid that Frank gets along with for whatever reason.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mrs. Castiglione?"

"I've told you not to call me that," you chuckle "makes me feel old."

"Right, sorry. Um, I just wanted to call to ask you about Pete?"

"Is he in a mood?"

"That... Is a good question. He uh... He didn't show up today and I was just worried, y'know? Not like him to disappear."

He's technically right. Pete Castiglione isn't the type of person to disappear. But Frank Castle is.

"Oh, I see..." You sigh, knowing that you can't make an excuse this time because you already confirmed that he left the house

"I don't know where he is, but I'll tell him your worried, okay?"

"Yeah, just let him know he's missed on the team today. Maybe that'll help him feel better about whatever's going on with him."

"Will do. Have a good day."

"You too, ma'am." He teases

"That's even worse!" You laugh before he hangs up.

Your laughter barely lasts a second longer after hearing the tone indicating the call has ended, and you immediately call Frank.

Straight to voicemail.

Okay, you think. Maybe he's just taking a day for himself or something. It'll be fine.

So you go to work, get your hours in, come back home. Frank is still gone. Okay. You take Max out for a walk and come back. Still not gone. All good. You take Max into the bathroom and painstakingly give him a bath while you still can. And when you come out?

Frank is still gone.

Maybe he's taking the weekend off?

But he would've told you.

Maybe he needed to go get something in a place that doesn't have service?

Everywhere has service, you guys have a very good phone plan.

The only thing left that you haven't done is to go to the safehouse. It's the only place he would be when he goes radio silent.

You make the drive to the safehouse, opening the door with the key Frank gave you. There's clear signs that he's been here, and very recently too. But he's not here. So you go over your options. Do you wait for him so you can talk to him? Or do you go home since he obviously needs some time away from you for whatever reason?

You wait. You wait for hours. You know he knows you're here, But he doesn't show. So you take the hint and go back home. You have no idea what's going on, but you trust Frank's judgement. You wouldn't have married him otherwise.

[asce-of-hearts]

Could I please ask for a yandere Bloody Painter and judge Angel and Tiki Toby where are their darling has the personality of yui komori from diabolik lovers even after they kidnap their darling the darling is still sweet and kind to them

Sweet

contents: Headcanons of Yandere!Bloody Painter, Yandere!Judge Angels and Yandere!Ticci Toby x gn!reader who remains sweet with them even after they've kidnapped them.

more content of Bloody Painter and Judge Angels here

more content of Ticci Toby here

WARNINGS: YANDERE, BLOOD.

Helen Otis - Bloody Painter

He doesn't know how to feel about your attitude. He's self conscious, perhaps too self conscious to believe you could love him even despite the fact he was cruel enough to kidnap you. It messes with his head, makes him nauseous and irritable to think about you lying so outwardly about something that makes him hurt so much.

He becomes colder, more distant. The only times he talks more than a few words to you is when telling you to sit pretty and shut up while he paints you.

Sometimes he draws blood out of you, relishing on how you try not to squirm or pull away from the blade's edge as it runs through your wrist or thighs, paper thin cuts that sting and he licks clean to ensure they won't swell and infect. He signs his paintings with that blood.

As time passes he becomes more used to the idea of you actually loving him, he isn't as irritable and cold, he can speak to you without wanting to vomit. His feelings are a complicated mess, he doesn't know why or how he feels so much repulsion towards you when he loves you more than he loves himself. He craves you like a drug. He can hug you while he sleeps, he can eat what you cook, he can be with you.

Dina Angela - Judge Angels

She just likes to look at you. She's a strange woman, almost childish in the way she behaves. But she's sweet, perhaps too much for you to think her attitude isn't hiding something morbid.

Her smile is too wide for her mouth.

At times you can't even sleep, knowing she's behind you, lurking, watching. You can hear her breathe, the way her cold fingertips run over your naked skin, the way her eyes look inside your soul. Wanting to know you, every inch, every fiber, every muscle of your being.

Her touch is cold, contrary to her, who seems to be entirely too warm. But her body is always cold, like she's not human. She certainly doesn't seem like one. She always looks off. Like she's in an entirely different planet, forever blissful and free.

She never lays a hand on you. She looks sad, heartbroken whenever you flinch at her touch. And she becomes enraged whenever she finds a scar on your skin. Needing to know every detail of how you got it.

"Who did this to you. Who did this to you?!" Is something she demands to know a lot of the time. And in that moment, there's an entirely different kind of darkness in her endless eyes.

Tobias Rogers - Ticci Toby

Toby is over the moon. This is all he has ever wanted.

Toby doesn't want a victim, he wants a lover. He wants somebody to hold during the night, to cry on their shoulder. He needs someone to love and love him back.

He's passionate, he's overbearing, his very fingertips feel on fire every time he touches you, shaking uncontrollably every time he has you in his arms. Like his body functions on batteries, like he's about to burst into a million tiny pieces.

Toby cries a lot. He tends to just explode. He doesn't yell, he doesn't curse. He curls into a ball and rests his head on your lap, sobbing as he clings to your clothes. And when he calms down he's quiet, his eyes have that melancholic glimmer. And he kisses you, peppers kisses all over your face, trembling, his heart pounding so fast and hard inside his chest it feels like it'll leave his rib cage at any moment.

He's very affectionate, tends to bite and grope and cling to, leaving marks everywhere he touches. And he doesn't see a reason to stop when you don't complain. But if you do, he'll try to control himself.

He keeps you trapped inside a cabin, deep in the woods where he can ensure you won't leave. Most importantly, that you won't ever be harmed. That's all he wants, your safety, your comfort. To provide you with a safe haven, which he can return to every time he feels like he's loosing himself to the voices in his head.

hope you enjoyed this :)

have a great day/night

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[glossyfairytears]

if you could do a fem!yandere whos possessive but gentle and is trying to force feed the fem!reader, bonus points if the fem!yan is keeping the reader at her home!!

Coactu

Female Yandere X Fem Reader

Warnings: Talk of previous drugging, Talk of previous kidnapping, talk of force feeding, tied up, pet names (Sweetie, Good girl, Baby, Dear)

A/N It has been over a year since I added to Amoura's story T_T for those of you asking, don't worry I have a few things lined up for her. University is kicking my ass so I have had to lock in and study for a while.

“Come on, it’s been two days since you last ate”

You grimaced and turned your head away from her, causing Amoura to sigh.

It had been two days since she pulled you from your bed and took you to her home. Two days since she ripped your life away from you all the while saying it’ll be good for you, better for you to be hidden away from the world.

Your first day was spent being nauseous and out of it from the sedative. Almost wishing to be knocked out again if it meant avoiding the sedative’s hangover. Now, she had you cuffed to a chair with a couple of dishes in front of you. Knowing her, there was a good chance that the food was drugged. If it was not your food, then it would be your drink. you couldn't trust her after she kidnapped you, and rightfully so. No sane person would just blindly trust whatever their kidnapper gave them, regardless of how hungry they were.

Your stomach grumbled loudly, snapping you out of your thoughts. Amoura giggled, a prideful look on her face.

“I know you’re hungry, dear.” She waves a slice of buttered bread in front of you. “Be a good girl for me, you need to eat.”

Much to your stomach’s dismay, you still refuse. Amoura frowns and lets out a tired sigh.

“I really didn’t want to force you, sweetie, but you’re not giving me a choice here.” She steps towards you, causing you to pull against your binds. "Either you eat the food or I'll make you eat it, and we both know you don't want that. It's much better to eat it on your own isn't it?"

She has a point, but really there were no good options.

"I'm not eating that." You glared at her, "You probably drugged it, or worse."

Amoura shot you an offended look before taking a deep breath and exhaling through her nose.

"I did NOT drug it, but I might have to since you keep refusing to eat." She smiles, and you shrink a little into your chair. "you certainly can't fight if you're all drugged up, huh?"

She places the bread down and gets up, going towards the door, laughing a little as she hears you begin to struggle and call out for her.

"oh so now you want to eat, huh?" Amoura turns in the doorway, considering your pleas, "How do I know you won't just spit it out on me. I saw that look earlier."

"I won't, please just...don't drug me, I can--I will eat, please don't drug me again."

She takes a second to consider, but seems to decide to trust you, and you're glad for it. It may be drugged, but at least she won't be injecting you with whatever she used when she kidnapped you. You didn't want to feel that sick again.

Smiling, Amoura picks up the bread and slides onto your lap, straddling your legs, before holding the slice of bread up.

"Open wide, baby."