#while at the same time struggling to fully be able to hate now with having proof he did care about them

[miclipse]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ princess & the fish.

pairing: rafayel x fem! reader

synopsis: rafayel’s dream of turning into a human had miraculously come true! but things didn't turn out like he had expected…

word count: 3.7k

cw: afab! reader, rafayel is a fish (literally, but he turns into a human), reader is a princess, nicknames used (princess, your highness), rafayel struggling to walk with legs, rafayel hates toes, very slight and brief abysswalker! rafayel reference (just one line), reader finds rafayel half-naked in her room, fluff

dt: everyone that wanted fishy rafayel (aka fifi) to turn into a human + the person in my asks asking if i was continuing this.

note: reupload because apparently my post didn’t show up in the tags :( but unfortunately that means the ask got deleted as well, sorry anon :(

likes reblogs & comments appreciated! <3

this all had to be a dream, right?

…actually, no. this was most definitely a nightmare, if anything.

because why else would rafayel be standing naked in your bedroom, the fishtank he once called his home now nothing but shattered glass scattered across your study table?

there was no logical explanation for this, rafayel thought to himself while struggling to manoeuvre around your room with his new pair of human appendages.

he spent at least ten minutes stumbling over his toes while trying to make his way to your bathroom door.

…seriously, why did humans even have a need for toes? and ten of them, at that!

when rafayel had finally, finally made it to the bathroom entrance, he spent another five minutes figuring out the mechanism behind how to open it.

turns out, the grand secret behind it was that he had to push the door, not pull.

once in the bathroom, rafayel was tempted to fill up your bathtub with water and just jump in for a swim, but he figured seeing a naked man with a towel wrapped around his waist would be a little less intense for you than having to see a fully naked stranger swimming around in your tub.

thus, rafayel opted to grab a spare towel from the cabinet just under the sink, carelessly tying it around his waist to hide his indecency before you came back from your royal duties.

rafayel spent yet another ten minutes trying to walk out of your bathroom (he nearly slipped at least twice but he refuses to talk about it) and towards the nearest furniture he could sit on without it breaking due to his new physique.

looking around your bedroom to ensure that there were no maids around to witness this phenomenon, rafayel plopped himself on the edge of your soft mattress.

resting his head on his fist, his eyebrows furrowed in the process.

this was not how he imagined things to go at all.

in all honesty, rafayel was pretty satisfied living life as your pet fish. though there were many pros and cons that came along with his new domestic life, he wouldn't have wished for things to be any different than how it was.

of course, there were times when rafayel would ponder to himself how life would be for him if he were to turn into a human and be able to properly talk with you.

but out of all the exaggerated and cliche scenarios rafayel had fantasized about during his free time (which was whenever you were not around), being naked with only a fluffy white towel tied around his waist as he dreadfully waited for you to return was definitely not one of them.

well, it probably was. but it was not at the top of his list, that was for sure.

but here came the real question—

how did he even turn into a human? there was no logical or scientific reason behind how all of this was possible. rafayel had never heard others talk about stories of fishes turning into humans either.

well, unless you included ariel from that little mermaid movie. but ariel was a mermaid, so it really was not exactly the same as rafayel’s current predicament.

and besides, rafayel didn’t think he knew or angered any shady sea witches back when he lived in the waters.

there was nothing he could really do at the moment. as much as rafayel wanted to sneak to the royal library to dig out some sacred books in order to do some research about his condition, he dared not imagine the consequences he would have to face if anyone caught him sneaking out of the princess’s private chambers with only a skimpy bath towel covering him from waist-down.

just the image of him getting beheaded by the royal guards was enough to convince rafayel not to leave your private chambers, knowing it was the safest place for him to be in right now.

so his only option now was to wait for his princess to return to her chambers so that he could try to explain the situation to you in hopes that your naive little brain could understand and help him out.

he was your beloved fish afterall, so surely you would find a way to help him, right?

an ear-piercing scream echoed loudly through the room.

rafayel's eyes snapped open in panic and immediate dread, sitting up from the bed frantically only to be met with a big white thing smacking his face.

as he made a clumsy attempt to back away from the bed and nearly tripping over his newly grown toes (human toes be damned), rafayel’s eyes wandered to the big white thing that was thrown at him.

it was your polar bear plushie, he noted.

rafayel then turned to look at the door, only to see you standing there looking like a frightened kitten, now holding a thick, hard-cover book ready to launch at him once more.

it was only then rafayel realised that he had accidentally fallen asleep in your bed while waiting for you to come back.

this was not good. not good at all.

“who… who are you?!” you shrieked out, preparing yourself to throw the book in his face within the next five seconds if he didn't respond.

“me? i’m…” without even realizing it, rafayel darted his eyes to look at your study table as he fell silent, his lips pursing together.

you gave him a look of skepticism before slowly following his gaze. the man watched as you let out a horrified gasp when you saw that your fishtank was nothing but shattered glass on the table.

“fifi!”

running to your study table, you stared at what once used to be fifi's home for the past three months, now nothing but broken shards scattered all across the table.

“you! what have you done to my fifi?”

rafayel backed up into the corner of the room when you pointed an accusatory finger at him, feeling very wronged by your assumption.

what, did you think he ate your fish or something?

“woah!”

to prevent his nose from breaking tonight, rafayel quickly moved his head to the side to narrowly dodge the book in your hands that came flying towards his face.

that was a close one.

“let's use words, shall we?”

before you had a chance to frantically look around your bedroom for a new deadly weapon to fling at rafayel's handsome face, he had to think of something believable, and fast.

“i’m asking you one last time, where. is. my. fish?”

your eyes narrowed and your eyebrows furrowed as you glared at rafayel as an attempt to threaten him.

rafayel doesn't really have the heart to tell you that your glare was nothing more than a little fly trying to square up to a frog.

not the best comparison, but you get it.

“well, if you're looking for fifi, i’m right here.” rafayel responded as nonchalantly as he could, desperately trying to hold back his laughter.

you shot him an incredulous look, obviously doubtful with his claim of being your pet fish. rafayel felt absolutely scrutinized under your gaze while you looked at him up and down.

“do you think i’m five?”

“well, given how you spend your nights talking to a fish like it's your newfound soulmate, i wouldn't doubt it.”

man, rafayel wished he could describe how proud he felt when he saw your jaw slacken and you gawk at him with wide eyes.

it felt so good finally being able to talk back to you, and in a way that you understood him too. rafayel picks this over ‘glub! glub! glub!’ anyday.

you looked around the room cautiously, before your eyes landed back on rafayel.

no one really knew that you spent your nights telling your baby fishy little bedtime stories.

…not unless this man in your room was fifi himself. it was a secret solely kept between you and fifi.

…still, it wouldn't hurt to double check, right?

“oh yeah? tell me something about fifi then.” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest. you still felt doubtful over this whole situation. “anything at all.”

i mean, it wasn't everyday that you got to see your fish turn into a grown man (that was also naked, you observed), now a head taller than you.

rafayel smirked at your demand. oh boy, where should he start? he had many, many juicy secrets that he could spill to you. ones that he knew were only shared between you and your beloved fishy (him) in these very four walls.

but he was determined to embarrass the hell out of you, so he was thinking what exactly was the most embarrassing moment you've ever told him.

maybe he should start with that one time you started weeping your eyes out in front of his tank because you thought he was sick and about to die since he wasn't eating the kibbles you poured into his tank? (you were overfeeding him).

or perhaps that one time you told him you accidentally broke your mom's jewellery box while trying on her earrings and blamed it all on the maid instead?

oh. he couldn't forget the countless amounts of times you fell asleep sprawled over the study table, your hair looking as neat as a bird’s nest, drool escaping from the corner of your lips and dripping onto the sleeve of your nightgown as you snored the night away.

but the most memorable one of them all was…

“...remember that time when you tried to cut a piece of strawberry cake and dump it into my tank?” rafayel questioned, a smirk appearing on his lips as his eyebrow quirked upwards, anticipating the kind of reaction you’d give.

the way your eyes widened in horror and the tips of your ears started to tint in a dark red hue was enough for rafayel to conclude that he had won this round.

“only fifi would know that…” you mumbled out in utter disbelief. was this man standing in front of you really your pet fish of three months?

“exactly.” rafayel puffed out his chest proudly at your words. “but if you’re not convinced, i can tell you about that time when you tried to bring my fishtank to your bed so you could hug me to sleep—”

oh. not that. you desperately cut rafayel off mid-sentence.

“stop! stop, stop!” your face felt hot, as if you just ran a whole marathon with no breaks in between.

there was an awkward and tense silence lingering in the air, with you looking at your pet fish dead in the eyes.

“s.. so it really is you, fifi…” you managed to mutter out, albeit still in disbelief that your pet fish was now a grown man a head taller than you.

rafayel doesn’t have it in him to break the devastating piece of news to you that his name was actually ‘rafayel’ before you came along.

“affirmative.” fifi— or, rafayel, nodded his head without a beat of hesitation.

you both then proceeded to awkwardly stare at each other without a word, waiting for each other to break the tense silence.

eventually, rafayel was the one that broke the silence.

“so…” he sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck, feeling like a fish out of the water (literally and figuratively). “has the shock died down yet?” he asked, hoping you were calm enough to have a proper conversation with him.

you blinked and glanced back at the broken fish tank a couple of times to make sure that rafayel was not some kind of crazy hallucination stemming from your lack of sleep recently.

“well, not really.”

“good enough for me.” rafayel casually bent down and picked up the weapons you used for your assassination attempt (your books and polar bear plushie), making his way to your study table to put the books back where they belong.

“i know you probably have a lot of questions, your highness,” rafayel’s gentle voice filled the room’s silence once again. “but i, too, don’t have the answers to them. i hope your highness can forgive me.”

he briefly glanced at you from his peripheral vision, a faint and apologetic smile ghosting his lips while he slotted the books back into the shelf.

you were still standing in the middle of the room, your eyes following rafayel’s figure while he was putting back your books. you still had the dumbfounded and surprised look from this whole ordeal.

when rafayel caught sight of you meekly nodding your head in silent agreement to his words, he took it as a sign to continue speaking.

“since you’re free tomorrow, how about your highness help a fishy out to find a way to turn me back?” he asked with a chuckle, making a final stop to your bed and gently placing your polar bear down by the pillows, now reunited with the rest of your fuzzy friends.

“how’d you know i’m—”

oh, that’s right. you told fifi at the start of this week that you had tomorrow to yourself. the realisation that you spent your nights practically telling this man (in his fish form) the a to z’s about your life started to settle in, coupled with embarrassment.

“oh.. right..” the corners of your lips twitched into an uncomfortable smile, trying to keep your cool despite the absurd situation unfolding before your very eyes.

“also, do you mind if i borrow a hoodie of yours or something? walking around with only a skimpy towel around my waist is a little uncomfortable.”

“ack!”

before you could protest, rafayel strutted towards your wardrobe and began rummaging through it like a stray mouse in search of a slab of cheese.

attempting to recollect your composure, you stammered out a remark in hopes to gain back some sort of control.

“h..hey! is this how you act in someone else’s bedchamber?”

rafayel halted his scavenger hunt for a brief moment.

“… i’ll remember for next time.”

…and he’s back to digging through your wardrobe for one of your oversized hoodies.

in the end, rafayel settled with one of your gray hoodies coupled with a pair of sweatpants he miraculously could fit in.

“what’s this?”

a look of confusion washed over his face as the fish stepped out of your bathroom, finally properly clothed.

his eyes were glued to the unfamiliar scene before him. a thick woven quilt was spread across the carpeted floor not far away from your bedframe, accompanied by two pillows and a neatly folded but thin blanket sitting on top of it.

“your new bed for the night.”

your response was as casual as inviting a friend over for a sleepover.

you gave his new bed a few soft pats, a gesture to coax him over, before making your way back to your own cozy haven.

“since you don’t fit in a fish tank anymore, i figured we have to come up with an alternative.”

rafayel watched as you tucked yourself into bed and fluffed up your pillows, getting ready to drift to dreamscape anytime from this point forward.

“yeah, well what if your maids see me?” his voice was full of skepticism as he approached his new bed, lifting up the blanket to fit into the warm cocoon.

“then i can tell them that you’re fifi.”

one of rafayel’s eyebrows quirked up in doubt and a hint of amusement.

“and will they buy it?”

“no.”

“…”

well, that was reassuring.

rafayel’s head was resting against the pillows now, completely unimpressed with your response while also trying to get used to sleeping outside of the water.

“well, but that’s something we’ll both deal with tomorrow.” you laughed nervously, leaning back against the plush pillows and turning your body so that you were laying on your side; facing rafayel with a faint smile ghosting your lips.

staring into your eyes like this made rafayel’s heart swell in an odd way. he didn’t know exactly how to put it to words, but the atmosphere of your bedroom felt dangerously intimate right now.

in fact, way too intimate for an owner and her pet fish to be having.

rafayel was no fool— he could tell how you seemed to be holding back more now that he had taken the form of a human. how the gaze you directed towards him still held a hint of love and affection amidst all of your other mixed emotions. you looked at him as if nothing had changed between the two of you, like he was still that tiny fish you had brought back home (kidnapped) three months ago.

“yeah… we should get some rest. we’ll be ransacking our brains a lot tomorrow.” rafayel agreed with a nod of his head, breaking eye contact first by turning his head to look up at the ceiling, trying to get rid of the dangerously growing intimacy dancing between the two of you.

his arm slid beneath his head to get into a more comfortable position for himself, still in disbelief that he was actually a human now.

he tried. keyword, tried to ignore the lingering feeling of not being able to bury his little fishy body in his favourite coral reef to fall asleep, and instead having to settle with sleeping on the cold hard ground with a paper-thin blanket that barely reached to the tip of his toes.

but in the end, the thought still greatly bothered him.

“tell me a bedtime story.”

…the words flew out of his mouth before rafayel could even comprehend what he was saying.

“i beg your pardon?” your expression morphed into one of astonishment.

“what? don’t you always go on and on about your day in front of my fishtank?” rafayel scoffed, turning his head back to face you. he had been kept awake against his will, forced to listen to your endless ramblings ever since you first kidnapped him.

he had grown so accustomed to your excited life updates that it was part of his daily routine now. rafayel always relied on your storytelling to help him get sleepy and prepare for bedtime, and he definitely wasn’t going to let this routine stop tonight just because he had grown a pair of legs out of thin air.

“… how about you tell me a bedtime story this time, fifi?”

your soft voice almost made rafayel wonder if he misheard what you had just said.

“hah, me? as if i have any tales that would fascinate you.” rafayel was quick to dismiss the idea of telling you a story.

one, bedtime storytelling was your thing. it always has been, and it always will be. as a fish, rafayel was habituated to just listening. i mean, he was a fish, there wasn’t much he could say to you in the first place. asking him for a sudden role reversal to play as the storyteller was beyond his expertise and comfort zone.

and two, his life out in the seas wasn’t as interesting or fascinating as whatever you were expecting.

or in other words, rafayel had no stories to tell in the first place.

“oh come on, i’m sure there’s some interesting stories about your life before you started living here.” you continued to persuade him further, trying to give him a metaphorical nudge to get him to open up.

rafayel really couldn’t resist when you talked to him in that soft and persuasive tone. you might as well grow a pair of fins and live in the ocean as a siren with how easily you allured him to obey your words.

“fine, fine, let me think of something,” the fish grumbled, his eyebrows furrowing together as he dug through his memories for anything worth mentioning to you.

entertaining a princess was hard work— rafayel was finally starting to understand the pressure of being in the presence of a princess like yourself. it was like there was an invisible expectation for him to uphold. one that was unspoken, but still anticipated in a way.

“does me being chased by an octopus sound entertaining enough for you, your highness?”

the way your smile grew, and your eyes held a hint of curiosity made rafayel let out a breath he didn’t even realise he had been holding.

so that was how he began telling you about the instance where he was chased by an octopus back when he was still adventuring around in the stray waters.

rafayel’s storytelling skills wasn’t top tiered as compared to yours. his story began awkward, his tone unnatural. this was not his forte, so he was basically a fish out of the water (once again, literally and figuratively).

however, the sounds of your soft giggles, hums of acknowledgement and occasional small nods of your head served to be the main catalyst for him to improve as the story progressed.

by the time the story reached its climax, he sounded more confident and sure of himself. he also was more natural when speaking and somehow, without even realising it, managed to lull you to dreamscape.

“...seriously? just as i was at the good part too.” rafayel muttered, feigning mild irritation when he saw that your eyes were closed, facial features relaxed, along with your breathing deep and slow.

rafayel let out a defeated sigh, lightly shaking his head before he turned his head to face back towards the ceiling again.

he finally understood how you always managed to fall asleep so quickly after telling him about your day— talking in such an excessive manner was… tiring. and now, he was feeling the growing fatigue about to consume him too.

he briefly snuck a glance at your sleeping form through his peripheral vision, the corners of his lips gently tugging upwards into a smile.

rafayel’s mind was tired, but his heart was filled to the brim with nothing but affection. affection that you had been showering him with for the past three months.

“no matter what form i take, you’ll still love me just the same, huh?”

he wasn't expecting an answer. he didn't need your verbal response to confirm his thoughts in the first place. the facts were as clear as day before his very eyes.

his vision was getting blurry, his breathing slowing down and his eyes feeling heavier with each blink.

rafayel vaguely remembered letting out one final whisper before everything fell to the darkness.

“…at least now i can finally tell you that i love you too, princess.”

all rights reserved © miclipse 2024. do not repost, plagiarize, copy, modify or translate my works on any platforms.

[princessbrunette]

Baby daddy rafe being hit on everyone at the country club and reader not being able to do anything cuz they’re not together<//33

🧸✧˖°❅🍥

you don’t even know why you come to this stupid place anymore.

you supposed it was to keep up appearances. you didn’t wanna be that girl that turned twenty, got pregnant and then disappeared off the radar. why should you have to live in shame of being a young parent if rafe cameron didn’t? you refused, hence why you were taking a quiet afternoon off, sitting with a glass of wine at the country club enjoying the sunshine before you’d have to return to motherhood.

you didn’t expect him to be there at the same time you were. you try it to be cool about it, because you knew you were not with him — but seeing him surrounded by a group of girls batting their lashes and twirling their hair up at him made you feel… icky. you were protective, you supposed. sure, you weren’t together but that was the father of your child. the wine gave you that little confidence boost, so you decide to go and intervene, make something up.

flattening out your sundress you totter over, briefly losing that confidence for a moment as you stand to the side, waiting for your turn to be noticed like the rest of them. when he does, he cuts the flirtatious laughter short to politely shoo them away, wandering over to you.

“hi.” you state bashfully, embarrassed that you have to take up any of his time as if he didn’t put a whole baby in your stomach.

“hey, uh… how’s my girl?” he asks, and for a brief hopeful moment you think he’s talking about you. your chest warms anyway.

“she’s good. sarah is babysitting right now.” you explain softly, finding it hard to hold the eye contact. your eyes drift over to the girls he was speaking to instead, noticing their jealous glares. rafe hums, bringing his beer bottle to his lips and taking a sip.

“‘long as she’s not letting my baby around those pogues.” he comments, displeased and your heart sinks a little. you hate when he’s disappointed. maybe your hormones were still all out of whack. “was there… something you needed from me?”

you blink up at him dumbly, conjuring up an excuse. “w— uh… i was wondering… when you wanted to see her?” you fiddle with your hands, body heating up at how ill prepared you were for this conversation. he blinks, shifting on his feet.

“do i not…come and see her every weekend? i dont…” he frowns, genuinely confused. your eyes widen as you nod.

“yeah, no — of course i was just… wondering if you wanted to see her during the week too or anything? if you maybe wanted to…come over just for a little while?” you shrug, trying to make it as casual as possible. he stares at you for a moment like he’s trying to read you before looking around.

“you— you know i’m a very busy man now and —” he starts but you cut him off, already too hurt to let him continue.

“yeah! no it’s okay i totally get it rafe. i don’t wanna impede, you’re already doing a lot and i don’t wanna ask too m—” you go to ramble politely, humiliated at the speed in which the fat tears spring to your eyes.

“hey— let me finish, alright?” he places two hands on your shoulders and you immediately shut up, blinking up at him tearfully. “what i was going to say, okay — is — is that i’m a busy man now, but… you say the word and… i’ll drop everything, yeah? whats the problem have — have you been struggling with… with the baby or, what?” he looks concerned. maybe it was fatherhood that was changing him but you could tell he genuinely gave a shit. no he wasn’t fully rid of his boyish troublesome ways but there had definitely been a shift and that was enough to relieve you. he watches the stress physically melt from your body, brow relaxing as you sigh.

“not a…problem, rafe really it’s okay i just… it can be a little lonely… and i suppose i just want her to see her parents interacting, show her that we’re okay with eachother you know? give her some healthy ideals.” you explain, but really he stopped listening after the word lonely.

“i—i didn’t know you were lonely like that, you know i… i wouldn’t let that happen… okay? i’ll come over. we’ll hang out… yeah?” one hand that was resting on your shoulder comes up to cup your cheek in emphasis and you so badly want to nuzzle into it, let him take the weight of your head. instead you just stare up with doe eyes.

“yeah.” it comes out as a whisper and he licks his lips, nodding in approval.

“alright then.”

you glance over to the glaring girls and your gaze darts downwards. “uh, i think i’m upsetting your girlfriends.” you chuckle awkwardly, going to step back. he glances over his shoulder, letting go over you before shrugging a shoulder carelessly.

“more like… god damn fan girls. those bit— uh, women won’t leave me alone.” he corrects himself, making a clear effort. “gonna go and find topper now, okay? you gonna be fine?” he takes a step back and you want him to stay but you nod anyway.

“see you, rafe.”

you have a warm feeling in your stomach when you leave the country club. you weren’t together, and only a few weeks ago you were telling people how glad you were that this was the case. but now things were different. his favouritism should have been clear due to the fact he’d knocked you up, and maybe it was pity, if that was something rafe was even capable of — but you didn’t care. rafe liked you the most.

🧸✧˖°❅🍥

[applenicoshifts]

Why i'm permashifting

I'm not doing it right now, but i will in the future. I want to come back, and share some experiences to encourage shifters before I permashift fully. And you'd say why? I've got a few reasons. one of them, is that my boyfriend is also a shifter. And, he also has the same idea as me: He wants to permashift after a few normal shifts. We made a system to always shift to our wr together that ill explain below: We shift to our drs, but our safe word, just brings us to the waiting room. If we leave the waiting room by walking out of one of the doors, the time ratio is 'no matter how long it's been in the dr, only an hour has passed in the wr' so we get alone time while the other maybe is in his fifth battle in some magical world. Explained like that it makes no sense, and I know. But its actually a long thing we talked AND have seen some results on so farin our own ways. Anyway, going on with the main topic. Why do I want to permashift? While I like my life here, and permashifting means I'll always be able to come back if I wanted, life is unfair. My mom is unhealthy here, my dad is unhealthy here, and I am unhealthy here. My boyfriend is also unhealthy here. Im transgender, and honestly, knowing that I can just shift to a reality where my body is the one I always wanted? Why would I come back? I plan on shifting to various fantasy-related realities and coming back, maybe like that for a year cr wise, until I permashift to a better cr where I can do the same, but live the life I want. I wont have to go to school with my struggles and I wont have to WORK IT HERE to become a singer as I've always wanted. Scripting will be in my favour. While I believe in manifesting here and its working, there's still too many struggles. I love shifting. I love the possibilities it gives me. This alongside a story I read of someone saying this was not their cr, and that in their cr, their world was BASED on teaching shifting. The way they described their world was so vast and so ...different. There's no way I cannot live something like that. After all, we are made out of stars. plus, I'll be honest. I want to explore perspectives and lives that maybe if I did so here, i'd be hated. Why do YOU want to permashift? Im curious ^^

[sunfish5149]

After rewatching round 6 for the nth time I just realized Till Win is reflected in Ivan's blood and OH. MY BMFUCCKIGBGOOOODDDD I HATE THEM I HATE THEM O HATE TJEM they could never make me hate you ivan.

Till standing next to Ivan while his body is still cooling feels awfully a lot like how a person would mourn at their loved one's grave, but I think that there's a lot more going on inside Till's head, and this just saddens me. I would crumble personally if I was him, because to me, Ivan's death also feels like a slap to the face I guess? Because until now his crush on Mizi allowed him to be selfish, to believe that once she was gone, he would be left all alone. He gave up his will to live, accepted defeat without further struggle, because he idolized and idealized Mizi to a point where his whole life depended on her existence. Perhaps he does have a crush on Mizi, but I fully believe that it partly stems from the love and adoration he saw Mizi offer to Sua, almost like "what if I could have that too?". He could not bear to part with the love and salvation he saw within Mizi, to the point where he gave away his freedom just to be near her, just for the chance that maybe he'd finally know what it feels like to be wanted, to be loved. He selfishly cut away at all the bad parts in this picture that he did not want to see, the worthless parts, the painful ones, the suffering he has endured at the hands of his captors, and ended up cutting away at the people that might've cared for him, that still do, until nothing but Mizi remained, who he foolishly believed to be able to offer him what he so desperately wanted. He made himself believe that he was alone, up until he truly, truly was. Until when can a man doggedly chase after one person until the death of what I dare call " the closest thing to family he has ever had" drop like flies around him? Round 6 offers us an answer.

I believe that part of the reason why he stood there as Ivan bled out is him processing that someone actually cared about him, loved the parts of Till that he saw to be loveless. It also feels like a wake-up call, the cut up picture that he has constructed his life around has finally been proven as the lie it is. He can no longer be selfish enough to close his eyes on reality, on his obsessive idealization for someone who will never, who cannot save him, on the fact that Mizi already loves somebody else so dearly, because the love he was searching for in someone, to be returned, was right next to him all along.

Too bad he only noticed Ivan when he was bleeding out at his feet. This is the closest thing to salvation Till will ever get from someone, to love so dearly one would give away their life without hesitation, to throw away their freedom, to not cut away at the corners of this picture, but to see it and love it and do everything to preserve it. Should Till look at such a picture, he would find the pieces of paper he has cut of himself which he believed to be loveless, reflected back at him in that puddle of blood. (I wrote this part fully relying on the muscle memory of my keyboard because my tears were deeply obstructing my vision)

This sacrifice will either ruin Till or give him motivation to live and the tenacity to fight back and free himself from the prison he has willingly walked in, and to finally accept that Mizi is a lesbiab and a ferocious grieving woman kisser. oh my god.

Edit: I JUST REALIZED MIZI ALSO IDOLIZES SUA THE SAME WAY TILL DOES WITH MIZI I HATE THEM I HATE TJEM J HATWHENM

Edit 2: this rant is lowkey outdated because first of all, I feel like I insulted Till's love for Mizi. Just as Ivan loved Till for his tenacity and fighting spirit, and whatever else he saw in that wet cat of a man, so did Till love Mizi, for her innocent happiness and love that poured out of her. She was the only one out of them who was blissfully unaware to the pain and suffering of the humans, and the shit the aliens put the rest through, the fact that Till was attracted to her partly because of that makes me feel miserable. I do wonder what he will think, should he survive and see just how much Mizi has changed, how she has grown to fight for what she wants to protect.

I also feel that I have underestimated Till's relation to Ivan, he truly did care for him, Ivan was just too cryptic to express himself

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 86: Lily's Desires

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tw: mind control, hypnotic induction, restraints, dehumanization

October 1925

Lily woke with a groan, her side throbbing where that damned hunter had stabbed her. It was significantly less painful than it was when she'd gone to sleep, thanks mostly to the hunter's own rich blood fueling her healing, but it would take more than a meal and a nap to fully fix such a deep wound. She lifted up her pajamas to take a look at it, all neatly bandaged by Lex. Thank god he'd been able to help her get home while carrying the unconscious hunter.

That hunter had put up a spectacular fight. She really should have been expecting that, given how she'd managed to evade Lex, but Lily was still surprised that her protection against enthrallment had worked so well against both her and Lex at once. Any human without magical defenses would have succumbed in moments.

Impressive as it was, she still did succumb in the end. Vivian's protection was not enough against them, and that meant it wouldn't be enough against their sire. Oh, Lex had his plans -- all of the research he'd done into witches and their traditions and ways, the rare tome that demonstrated how witch's spells might be adapted to vampires. He was quick to point out to Lily that the rune wouldn't need to work for long if he could catch their sire off guard, the same way Vivian had killed Edgar and Jessica.

Lily wished it would work. She wanted to be free of her sire so badly that she could taste it.

But she knew deep down that it wouldn't. Every time she'd had her hopes up, they'd been dashed. Lex meant well, but he wasn't going to save her. No one would.

And that's why she had to do what was needed for both of them to survive, and turn Vivian over to the Maestro.

It was a truly awful thing to consider. She'd be a wonderful plaything, exactly the sort of thrall Lily would love to have. Her sire would waste her and break her and toss her aside just as he always did. But it would hopefully put an end to Lex's latest daft plan, sparing them both another round of torture.

Fitz's face came to her mind, unbidden, the way he'd looked when Lily had prevented his escape and turned him over to their sire. Lex had forgiven her for that, somehow. She'd done exactly what she'd needed to do to survive, and she hated that she still felt guilty about it.

Lily's dark thoughts were interrupted by the sound of struggle coming from the conditioning room. The hunter must have woken up and realized her predicament. Lex had helped strap her to the conditioning chair so that Lily could safely get some sleep.

As Lily opened the door to the conditioning room, the first thing that hit her was the scent of Vivian's blood, thick in the air. Lily wasn't normally picky about her blood, but she couldn't deny that Vivian had some of the finest she'd tasted. Witch's blood, delicious and nourishing and belonging to particularly dangerous humans. A delicacy that many vampires had died for.

And Lily could almost understand that, now that she'd seen the way Vivian dropped so beautifully from defiance into sweet submission, offering up her precious, unblemished neck. Lily always had a soft spot for the fighters, for the tough and clever ones, the ones who inevitably succumbed to her powers in the most gratifying ways. The way she'd finally melted into Lex's arms, calling him "sir" and answering his questions just as polite as can be… yes, she'd be such a wonderful thrall.

No, thoughts like that would be counterproductive. She had already decided what she needed to do, and she couldn't be swayed by mere desire.

"I see you're awake," said Lily. "For now."

Vivian glared, her fury tinged with confusion. "What the hell have you done to me?"

"Not much," said Lily, and it was basically true. After taking a silver knife to the gut, she didn't have it in her to do a full conditioning session. But after her feeding, the hunter's mind was completely defenseless and pliable, so with Lex's help, she'd set up a few useful suggestions.

One of them was an old favorite of hers, instilling the idea that any attempt to escape would make her desperately sleepy. Lily could see Vivian fighting against that now, trying to shake off the drowsy daze.

"You're a liar. You've done something to my mind," said Vivian. "I know exactly who and what you are, too."

"Do tell. I love hearing about myself."

"You're the vampires' hypnosis expert. A monster that destroys innocent people's minds. You erase their memories and turn them into brainless servants of vampires, cheerfully offering up their necks. Well, you're not going to take me that easily."

Lily laughed. "Those are some bold words considering I've already fed on you." She could see the dainty punctures on Vivian's throat, trying to stop herself from drooling at the thought of more of that blood. That wound on Lily's stomach was still healing, intensifying her cravings. "I do have to admit, though, I was impressed. Most hunters drop immediately for my voice. That's quite a trick you have." She traced the edge of the scar on Vivian's arm.

Vivian tried unsuccessfully to jerk her arm away. "I wish I would've been able to kill you."

"I'm sure you do. If it's any consolation, you've come closer than any other hunter," said Lily. "Since you're not going anywhere, indulge me in a question. Why did you become a hunter?"

"Because I despise your kind."

"And why is that?"

"I thought I made it pretty clear. You're all monsters, parasites who do nothing but prey on the innocent," Vivian said. "But if you really must know, it's because my mother was a hunter. She was taken by a vampire when I was still young, taken away from me to become some creature's thrall. I was left to try to survive. I had to do whatever work a little girl could find -- housekeeping, errands, factory jobs. Whatever it took so I wouldn't go hungry."

And Lily couldn't help but recall long-faded memories from when she was a human girl. Sitting at the train station, begging and telling people's fortunes to get enough money to eat. Pickpocketing the tourists when that wasn't enough. Sleeping curled up in an alley, hand on her knife in case someone dared to try and snatch her. All the things she'd had to do for herself, because no one else would.

"I vowed revenge on the vampire who stole my mother. I had my mother's weapons and books, so I trained myself to fight. Killed my first vampire when I was around thirteen -- some fledgling feeding on a shop clerk. And from then on, I was hunting whenever I could, so that no other girls would have to go through what I did. Does that answer your question?"

"It does. You're quite formidable."

"I've killed many of your kind. Feel free to hold that against me."

"Believe it or not, I don't. Honestly, I'm impressed." While Lily had nominally been friends with Jessica, she wouldn't necessarily miss trying to socialize with her at her tedious parties. She couldn't blame hunters for hunting -- if she were still human, if she were in their shoes, she wouldn't think twice about killing a vampire.

"You're so confident you're going to take my mind," said Vivian. "Maybe you will, but I'm going to fight you every step of the way, even if it is hopeless."

Oh, but she was precious, dark hair spilling around fierce eyes. "Dear, there's nothing for you to fight. You're already under my thrall."

Vivian scoffed. "You think I'd believe that?"

"But it's true. I prefer subtlety with my enthrallment. Putting humans under control in ways that they barely even notice is my specialty," said Lily. "You met Oliver, didn't you? I'm very proud of the work I did with him. He's so comfortable in his hypnotic spell. I bet he didn't even want to leave his master, did he?"

"Oliver was a fool," Vivian spat, and Lily could tell that she was getting more worried. "He thought Alexander could be reasoned with. Instead, he hired a conditioning expert to capture me. He's no different from any other vampire."

"I've become rather fond of Oliver. He's a delightfully obedient boy, but I don't think he is a fool," said Lily. "And I wasn't hired. Unfortunately for me, I'm duty bound to assist him Alexander of charge."

"Why?"

"We share a sire. We're bound together in misery. Lex actually is a fool, but there's still no vampire I would trust more."

Vivian went pale. "You share a sire? That means that your sire is the Maestro."

"That's right. I'm surprised you know of him."

"He's the vampire who took my mother," she said, straining at her binds once again. "You're in service to him."

"Not by choice. My fondest wish is to see him crumble to dust."

"We have that in common," said Vivian. "Let me kill him. If you let me go, I'll do whatever it takes to kill him. It's my life's work."

How Lily wished she could give her that opportunity! If only it were that simple, to send a hunter to strike down her sire and free her from his chains. But she knew where that path lead. Lex had sent a small army of hunters after the Maestro, and he had suffered little more than scratches. One hunter, no matter how skilled, no matter what tricks she knew, would be a pointless sacrifice.

"I wish I could take you up on that offer. I really do," said Lily.

"I'll do anything for the chance. You can even kill me once I've done it, I don't care. Or I'll --"

"You'll what?"

"I'll even swallow my pride and become your thrall, if you allow me to kill him first."

The hunter must be truly desperate to make such an offer. No doubt she didn't mean it. Lily was sure that even if she did manage to kill the Maestro all by herself, she'd be coming after Lily and Lex next, and really, she would be right to. After all, she didn't yet fully understand how much she would love being Lily's thrall, if only she allowed herself the pleasure.

Not that she would be Lily's thrall, of course. She had to turn this girl over to her wretched sire and put an end the farce that was Lex's latest plan.

"You don't need to promise to become my thrall, dear," said Lily, lacing more of her hypnotic power into her voice. "I told you before that you already are."

"I don't care what you think you did to me while I was knocked out. I'm not."

"Oh, you are, you just need to be reminded of your place," said Lily soothingly, pushing a lock of hair out of Vivian's face and tucking it behind her ear, using it as an excuse to get closer. "All you need to do is listen to me, and you'll be nice and cozy under my spell in no time at all."

"It won't work."

"But you know it will. You already went under once, and your mind remembers, even if you don't. You remember how my voice put that busy little brain of yours to sleep, how it drained all your fight away, how it made you so sweet and obedient."

There was fear in Vivian's eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm hypnotizing you, dear. This is what it feels like when you're starting to succumb. It's okay. Soon there will be no more fighting."

The hunter resumed struggling against the leather bonds, more desperate this time. She must be feeling the effects, trying to focus on anything but Lily. It was futile, of course, and Lily always loved this part, the moment when the balance started to tip.

"There's no resisting it. Not when your mind knows exactly what to do." Lily stroked Vivian's hair again, as the hunter jerked away from her hand. "You've rescued thralls many times before, haven't you? You know what they're like, how they act."

"I will not be a thrall," Vivian said through gritted teeth.

"But you can imagine it, can't you? I saw what you were like when Lex sang to you, the very model of an obedient thrall. You can imagine kneeling at my feet, relaxing in my chair, letting me put your mind to sleep. You can imagine serving me, too. My precious and loyal guard dog of a former hunter, now with a much more rewarding purpose. Can't you imagine that?"

"No." But despite her stubbornness, her struggle was starting to fade.

And as Vivian fought against the undertow of Lily's imagery, Lily couldn't help but imagine the same thing, an enthralled hunter so deeply under her control. She was wading into dangerous waters of desire, and watching the girl starting to slip wasn't helping her resolve. There was bleary confusion in Vivian's eyes now as she absorbed Lily's words.

"You work so hard. You're so tired. You want to rest. I can take care of you," said Lily. "Your mind knows what it's supposed to do when it's being enthralled. Your mind knows it's time to sink into sleep, into bliss, and allow that lovely obedience to fill you up with warmth."

"…You're a monster," she choked out. "Get out of my mind!"

"I can't do that, not when your mind is opening its doors so wide to let me in. Not when you're getting so, so sleepy, your eyelids closing all by themselves. Not when we both know this is exactly what you need."

"I… don't…" she managed, blinking slowly. "I can't…"

"But you can, dear. You can go to sleep, you can be hypnotized. It's completely all right."

Vivian's head tipped forward, her eyelids drooping, so close to submission and still fighting so hard to stay awake. Lily stroked her hair soothingly. "It's over, dear. Just shut your eyes and go to sleep and listen to everything I have to say. It's all right. Everything will be all right."

"It's not… it's not all right…"

"Shhh, hush hush hush. Yes, it is. It's all right to rest your eyes. It's all right to become hypnotized. Just sleep now, dear. Won't it feel so good to sleep?"

Vivian nodded slowly, drowsy and dazed, and Lily smiled at her precious prey, finally starting to give in.

"Yes, that's right, it would feel so good to go to sleep. You can keep listening to me while you sleep, too. You've done such a good job. I'm so proud of you. You deserve to rest."

The sweet smile that appeared on Vivian's face as Lily praised her was no coincidence. Lily knew very well that hunting was a hard and thankless job, with even the thralls Vivian rescued fighting against her. It was a guess at another key to her mind, one which bore fruit.

"Close your eyes now, dear," said Lily, running her fingers down Vivian's cheek as the weight of sleep pulled her eyelids down, down, down. "That's it. You're such a good girl, obeying so well."

The subdued hunter smiled wider and leaned her hand into Lily's touch, as though she'd never stabbed Lily in the gut, as though she'd always been as docile as a lamb.

"There now, isn't that just so much better?"

"Mmm…" A hint of concern crossed her face. Vivian still had some fight in her, despite her apparent submission. Perhaps she was trying to pretend to be more hypnotized than she was, as a form of resistance. That rarely worked, but it was very entertaining.

"What concerns you, dear?"

"I don't… I don't want to be a thrall…" she said, dreamy and drowsy. "I don't want you to give me to your sire…"

Lily did her best to ignore the very inconvenient stab of an emotion not unlike guilt. "You don't need to worry about that," she lied. "It's just the two of us here. You're safe."

"I don't want to be helpless and useless."

"You're not," said Lily with a fierceness that surprised her. "You're not going to be helpless. I don't want to take away your strength and your force of will. I don't want to turn you into a mindless shell."

"…You don't?"

"No. I like that you're strong. I just happen to be stronger, and I want that strength for myself." Lily knew she needed to stop before she got herself in trouble. "I want you to be docile in the way a guard dog is docile, dangerous and fierce but loyal only to me."

And the hunter smiled at that, sinking down deeper into Lily's grasp, and Lily knew she had a real problem, because what she'd just said to Vivian was entirely too true.

She was Lily's favorite kind of thrall, the ones with some fire that could be preserved even when deeply hypnotized. She could be molded into such an ideal servant and companion. She could be kept smart and defiant, so that Lily could watch all those thoughts melt away as Vivian fell hard and fast only for her. Keeping a hunter as a thrall was such a delightful notion, a real status symbol and proof of her talents in conditioning, and Vivian's blood was so delicious, and she was such a doll when properly hypnotized.

It'd be a tragic waste to send her to the Maestro, to toss away a potential masterpiece to a vampire who wouldn't recognize actual perfection if it sprang out and bit him.

God damn it.

Lily pulled her hand away and backed up her chair an inch, causing Vivian to whimper. "It's all right, dear, you're doing so well. Just sleep for me, and dream of obedience."

She was on the verge of breaking her main rule: don't get attached. Wanting things -- not frivolous wants like a pair of new shoes, but the sort of wants that made her chest ache -- was dangerous. Getting attached to things was even more dangerous. Her sire had made it absolutely clear that anything Lily valued would be taken away and mangled beyond recognition.

It wasn't as if she hadn't gone through this several times before. She thought of Miriam, who was once so bright, and the way the Maestro had unraveled her mind until there was so little left for Lily to reconstruct, a sadistic joy for him to ruin anything she was stupid enough to hold dear. She thought of way she told others that she'd wiped Miriam's memory, to prevent them from knowing the humiliating truth. She thought of what he'd done to Gail, years before Miriam. She thought of what her sire had done to Lex when he decided he was getting too close to Fitz.

If it weren't for her sire, Lily would take this thrall all for herself, without a doubt. She'd let Vivian keep her spark, keeping her mind as intact as she could while bending her loyalty to Lily, a fierce wolf turned to a fawning guard dog. She'd spoil the girl with everything she had been missing in her hard life. She'd relax on the couch on a cold winter's night, with her pet hunter curled up beside her providing her warmth, looking just as peaceful and sweet as she did right now.

Ugh, how had she become so attached so quickly? It must be Lex rubbing off on her. She'd seen the way he'd looked at Fitz, the way he'd looked at Oliver, too, and she'd burned with jealousy. She wanted that for herself, a beloved, perfect thrall that she could mold to her own liking, one that would never be touched by her sire and his ever-changing, arbitrary rules. It was practically the birthright of a vampire as powerful as she was, and if the rotten old corpse hadn't resisted every murder attempt so far, Lily wouldn't have to suppress her needs like this.

But no one was coming to save her from her sire. Especially not if she undermined Lex's plan, betraying him again when all he was trying to do was help.

Lily rubbed at her temples. She felt like an idiot that she was considering actually assisting in Lex's risky plan, just because she'd had a taste of top-quality blood and got a thrill from the idea of making a docile pet out of a hunter who'd nearly killed her. She remembered what had happened to Lex when he sent the whole vampire guild after their sire, and again what had happened when Fitz tried to kill him.

Her unlife was fine. She enjoyed her work. She had Miriam, a nice townhouse with electricity and everything, and plenty of money. Her sire only occasionally visited to terrorize her. It was ridiculous to put all of that in jeopardy. She certainly wasn't keen on spending months locked in her sire's dank basement with no blood, which is the least punishment he would dole out.

But like this, she'd never be free to pursue what she wanted. She'd always be under his thumb, jumping at shadows, second-guessing her every move.

The truth was that she'd already decided what she wanted to do with Vivian. It was just taking her mind a while to catch up.

Lily smiled. She was so stupid.

She pulled her chair closer to Vivian's, undoing the hunter's bonds and watching as she stretched and yawned, eyelids fluttering as she fell back into enchanted sleep. Lily would adjust the hunter's thoughts so gently that she would hardly know what had changed, even while declaring her loyalty to Lily and cheerfully offering her neck. Her own self-indulgent personal project. She deserved this, even if it would all end in disaster.

"I have such good news for you, Vivian," she cooed. "You're not going to be just any thrall. You're going to be my personal thrall. You're going to obey me and only me."

"Obey… you…?"

"That's right, and we have plenty of time to work together, to make you very comfortable with that obedience. I'm going to take such good care of you and your precious mind, and all you need to do is sleep and listen to me."

"Hm…" She stirred a bit, as though she were still trying to resist being fully hypnotized.

"You work so very hard, don't you? Putting the world on your shoulders, making yourself responsible for so many thralls," said Lily. "Wouldn't you like to lay your head on my lap at the end of a hard day and feel your mind go to sleep?"

Her nose scrunched, eyelids flickering, as her syrupy brain processed this, the smile returning to her face as she finally nodded.

"Yes, you're already so very used to service, but now, you're going to be rewarded for it. You'll have me helping and supporting you, telling you you're doing such a good job, all for doing what you're told. It's so easy, and you're such a good girl."

Her body slumped into the chair, relaxing. "Yes… sir…"

"That's right, my lovely thrall, you're going to love your new life. I promise."

And Lily was most certainly going to enjoy herself. She'd cleared out her schedule for a few nights, in case Lex needed the help -- and besides, she sorely needed a break. It'd been such a long time since she'd had hours and hours to condition a thrall exactly to her liking, with no concern for the auction house or a demanding client. She had plenty of time to remake this lovely hunter into a wonderful thrall.

"You're safe with me, Vivian."

Previous > Masterlist > Next

Lily chapters are always so self-indulgent and that's not going to change.

Next week, Oliver gets a visitor in his hospital room, one he's been waiting for.

Thanks for reading!

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[scatterbrainedbot]

I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED

@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS

okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!

(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)

- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡

-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)

-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.

-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)

Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help

*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.

-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.

but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.

the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)

(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 4

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

"MAX VERSTAPPEN WINS THE AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX, LANDO NORRIS COMING CLOSE BEHIND HIM IN P2 WITH HIS SISTER Y/N NORRIS FOR SECOND PODIUM IN P3. THAT'S A DOUBLE MCLAREN AND A DOUBLE NORRIS PODIUM!" the commentator screams.

The second stint in Austria was far better with the stresses from the first gone, you were able to fully concentrate on the weekend and it was like you were a completely different person on track.

You're driving was aggressive and you were unstoppable when working your way up to your brother who was ahead of you. With some incredible team strategy and the help of DRS from your brother you were able to retain a double podium for your team and defend from both Mercedes car's effortlessly which was a shock to you since one of them was a seven times world champion.

You stood on the podium that day with your brother, your dad was there watching the pair of you tears in his eyes same as yours.

Celebrating a win with your brother was a feeling you don't think you'd ever forget.

Post race interviews were incredible and everyone could see the glow you were emitting from how proud you were. But a lot of your answers were just leading them onto your home race which would come after the large break that was coming. Not huge break but enough for a small holiday.

You moved in with you brother as his home was closer to Woking where the MTC was based and it just made sense. You guy's lived together for the first 22 years of your life so it wouldn't be any different now.

You and your brother however did want to travel over the summer, and when you got invited to go to Mallorca with Carlos and Lando you couldn't say no. You met the Sainz family who were all so welcoming to you and helped you further your Spanish that you took at GCSE while you were out there.

Then you guys ended up travelling to Portugal where Lando met Luisia. You both immediately jelled to the point where you were probably more obsessed with her than Lando was.

You became her best friend and Lando and her kept talking on and off after you left Portugal. You also texted her all the time, making sure she was okay.

Lando had to explain to Luisia that you'd just had a falling out with your childhood best friend so it was natural for you to want to be attaching yourself to someone new and the crazy thing was Luisia didn't mind at all.

You went to Silverstone, excited for the race, and even though it wasn't a podium at your home race you and Lando place P4 and you in P5.

Then you moved onto Hungary which honestly wasn't great, you managed to slip into the points in P10, but Lando had a DNF on Lap 2.

After Hungary, there was the actual summer break where you joined Lando on a yacht with all of his friends. You ended up inviting Luisia where of course her and Lando finally got together and you couldn't be more excited for them.

There was one day when you all docked up in Monaco and you were alone as Lando had stolen Luisia and were having fun swimming and on Jetski's, your mum and Oliver wanted to go sight seeing and all of Lando's friends hit Monte Carlo casino, so you decided to go shopping by yourself.

You were walking the streets of Monaco when a familiar voice called out to you.

"Y/N?"

You spun round to be met with the Monegasque man who was standing behind you alone.

"Charles?" you smile a little looking over him and he steps forward coming up to you. It's a little awkward at first and it's almost like he doesn't know what he should do. You can tell he wants to pull you into a hug and typical European greeting but seems, tentative after everything that happened between the two of you.

"How- are you I haven't spoken to you since..." he trails off and looks down.

"Since you kissed me and admitted you'd basically been in love with me for the last like 8 years?" you chuckle looking over at him with a small smile on your face.

"Erm yeah. I just wanted you to know I wasn't making any of that up!" he nods.

"I know, I think part of me ... the immature part of me panicked especially where anyone could have seen, and you know I was right too because someone did" you smile. If you were to get into a relationship with another driver you'd have to be really careful with how it got out into the media.

"Yeah, it's funny actually Max and I used to argue over you a lot!" he chuckles and your head snaps up to him.

"What?" you ask looking up at him, now stood closer to him than before.

"Max and I we're both attention seekers, especially when it came to you. We both would fight for your approval, it was childish but we both liked you! Can't believe Max won you over" he smiled reminiscing.

"Max hasn't won me over, he's sleeping with my best friend while she's been lying to me..." you frown, offended that he'd think that especially after what happened after the first race in Austria at the restaurant.

"But Pierre said... and that one article about ..." he starts but you quickly interrupt him.

"There is nothing between me and Max trust me. He made me nervous and was able to make me blush but if he likes Y/BF/N, i wouldn't get in the way of that!" you offer, but Charles still doesn't seem convinced.

"But Max told me to back off" he murmurs to himself and you nearly didn't hear it with how quietly he'd mumbled it. You pretended not to be shocked, and looked down so he couldn't really see your facial expression.

"Have you ever been on a yacht?" you ask, kind of out of the blue.

"I grew up in Monaco, of course I have!" he grins.

"My family, Lando and I all rented a yacht to spend the summer on, did you want to join us while we are here!" you grin, and he thinks for a second before nodding.

"But you have to come shopping with me first!" you grin and he rolls his eyes before gesturing for you to lead the way. You spend about and hour walking through the streets of Monaco buying things with your new F1 money.

"You travelled back to the docked boat before turning to Charles remembering about your brothers new girlfriend. "You travelled back to the docked boat before turning to Charles remembering about your brothers new girlfriend.

"Just so you know, Lando has a new girlfriend so erm. You know if you post anything don't get them in it together" you smile and he looks over at you in shock.

"Lando has a girlfriend?" he asks as if it's a bizarre concept.

"Yeah, she's a model and super super sweet!" you cheer, happy your brother was happy.

"Well, lets go. I want to see you brother!" Charles grins before going in front of you and onto the boat.

What a summer this would be.

Taglist:

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[lavendertales]

SEÑORITA: Chapter 10

pairing: Javier Peña x Murphy!f!reader

summary: Javier contemplates his future. Though he's uncertain of it, one thing he knows for sure: he wants you in it no matter what.

word count: 3.1k

series warnings: reluctant friends to lovers, lots of playful banter, mutual pining, slow burn, secret relationship, filthy smut.

A/N: here we are at long last, lovebugs! I am so thankful for everyone who's supported this series, it encouraged me to keep going especially this year when I've been struggling so badly. I hope you enjoy this drama-free finale❤️

series masterlist | AO3

Javier had made peace with the notion that he would remain forever haunted by Colombia. It wasn’t something that he willingly chose or even wanted, of course, but it remained a fact; he knew he’d never be able to fully escape the life he’d lived while over there, and he’d made his peace with it.

Turns out life had some pleasant surprises in store for him, too.

Saying yes to spending the holidays with the Murphys seemed like it would be something overwhelming for Javier. The mere thought of being introduced to the parents as your boyfriend was enough to make him want to chainsmoke and get drunk for three days and three nights. But as it turned out, the two weeks he’d spent at the Murphy residence had been blissful. Javier would even call himself happy for what feels like a premiere in his life. Ever since the two of you came forward with your relationship, everything else seemed to fall into place and it all became easier somehow. Javier was head over heels for you, he hadn’t smoked in a year, and cut his drinking almost to a drastic degree—yet one thing still loomed over his head, something he hadn’t told you about.

He’d grown to despise his job.

But, much like at his old job, he learned to swallow whatever thoughts and feelings he might have on the matter and do the mature thing and see things through. After all, he has a darn good salary, good apartment, great friends and a terrific girlfriend.

Seemed like the oldest habit Javier picked up, being able to dismantle anything remotely good in his life, would always cast a large shadow that follows him everywhere.

“What’s got you thinking so hard?”

Steve’s voice is tender, caring in a manner, and yet stern and curious all at the same time. It manages to interrupt Javier’s chaotic thoughts, and the latter is nothing if not grateful for it.

Even if he does not express it verbally.

“Not much,” Javier clears his throat. 

“C’mon man, give me some credit. We’ve known each other for a few years now, been through some rough and insane shit. I like to think I know when something’s got you down.”

Javier exhales. It’s one of the few times he wishes he’d have a cigarette in his hand right about now; but the craving disappears as quickly as it had arrived, especially when he knows Steve is right. They have been partners through some of the most horrific things anyone could ever be cursed to see, and if there was ever a definition for a damn good friend, Steve would be it.

“It can’t be cause you’re still nervous about finally meeting my parents,” Steve chuckles, and surprisingly, so does Javier. “You passed the test, you’re officially the best boyfriend my sister’s ever brought home.”

“I’m flattered.”

“I’m surprised.”

The two of them chuckle again, the lighthearted sound followed by another moment of silence.

“Much as I’d hate to admit it,” Steve breaks the silence, “you are the best guy my sister’s ever dated. Compared to the parade of leeches that were around.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Not that she ever brought any of them home to formally introduce them to the family, so it really is a big compliment.”

“Thanks again, I feel all tingly inside.”

“Seriously now, what’s the matter?”

With a final exhale, Javier decides to voice his thoughts for what feels like a premiere in his life. “I hate my job.”

Steve waits, searching his friend’s face for something that eventually fails to appear to him.

“That’s it?”

“Okay, not hate, hate, but… I don’t know, it’s not something I enjoy doing. Not anymore.”

Steve pats him on the back, then gestures him to sit down alongside him.

“First off, I’m a bit relieved,” he begins, much to Javier’s dismay. “I thought you were gonna say something really bad.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I don’t know, wanting to end things with my sister. In which case I would’ve had to kill you.”

“I’m not breaking up with her, fucking hell. Why would I—hang on. So I’m not allowed to break up with her?”

“Why would you break up?”

“I don’t know, sometimes things don’t work out. Constant fights, lies, affairs—“

“You better not be cheating on my sister. I swear to God Javi, if you so much as—“

“I’m not! Fucking Christ, can we stay on topic?!”

“I was just saying.”

“I am not cheating, I am not lying, I am not doing anything bad, okay? I love her, she loves me, and… I’d like for us to get married someday. I think.”

Steve’s jaw drops; the only thing he can do is stare at Javier in awe, trying his best to process the words he just heard.

“You—you wanna get married?” Steve blabbers.

Javier shrugs, then nods.

“With… my sister.”

“I feel like that was implied.”

“So when are you gonna—“

“I’m not saying now. We’ve been together for like half a year only, and… you know me. Takes me time to open up.”

“Wow, okay, this is a lot to process.”

“Good thing we’re sittin’ down, huh?”

Steve chuckles against his best wishes, staring into distance.

“Look, back to the job thing, if it makes you miserable, why don’t you quit? That’s why you left Colombia, isn’t it?”

“Partially.”

“Right. Point is, if you hate the job, quit it. You can find another one.”

“And do what? Do you see me as a barista?”

“A job is a job. It doesn’t define you. And your contributions in Colombia will always remain yours, but—what do you want to do?”

Javier exhales, shrugging again. “I was thinking of going back to Laredo, at least for a little while. Help my pops around the ranch. He’s not getting any younger, he needs some help.”

“Alright, that sounds great, do that!”

“And I was thinking… I’d ask her if she wants to come with me.”

“Hang on. You wanna move to Texas? Both of you?”

“I haven’t asked her yet.”

“What if she says no?”

“Then I guess we do long-distance.”

“Wow. What happened to you?”

Javier frowns.

“You’re—flexible, open-minded, considerate of other people’s feelings… she’s changing you. In a good way.”

The more Javier thinks about it, the more he’s inclined to agree with Steve. He has felt significantly better over the past few months, and even his nightmare frequency has decreased to the point where he’s barely having them. He didn’t want to be as cheesy as to say that you’re the reason he feels the best he’s ever felt since he was a teenager, but what if you are?

What if you are the very best thing that’s ever happened to him?

“So, to recap… you wanna quit your job, ask my sister to move with you to Texas so you can live on a ranch and then ask her to marry you,” Steve says in a monotone voice.

“Basically, yeah.”

“Just talk to her, alright? Talk to her about what you’re thinking, that’s all you gotta do. It’ll work out.”

“Thanks.”

After another moment of silence and a big gulp, Javier adds rather hesitantly, “Do you think she wants to get married? If I ask her… do you think she’ll say yes?”

“She’s the one who has to answer that question.”

“What question?”

Both Steve and Javier turn abruptly to their right, being met with your smiley face. You greet Javier first by briefly pecking his lips, then you nod in Steve’s direction.

“What question am I supposed to answer, you guys?” you ask again, chuckling.

Your smile fades when you see that neither one of them answers you, keeping silent.

“Did someone die?” you ask instead.

“No, no,” Steve fake-laughs to defuse the situation. “All’s good.”

“Okay, so then why do you both look constipated?”

Steve and Javier exchange a glare with one another, thus only reinforcing your suspicions.

“I don’t think I should be here for this,” Steve stands with an awkwardly wide smile. “Gonna give you lovebirds some space and uh… I’ll give you a ring later.”

Javier’s lips pucker and his eyes shoot up right at Steve, whereas you can only stare at them, brows furrowed in utter confusion.

“I mean, on the phone,” Steve laughs, half outside the apartment already. “See ya.”

“That was weird, right?” you ask Javier.

“Don’t look at me, he’s your brother.”

You nuzzle up to him, your hand intertwined with his and your head resting on his shoulder. God, he always smells so nice, of cologne and some musk that you like to think is particular to him and only him.

“So. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“Why do you assume something’s going on?”

“I see you acting like school girls with a big crush trying to keep it a secret. Feel like sharing?”

He can’t fight you; he failed to fight you since the beginning, when he was way too stubborn to even see what was right in front of him, so how could he possibly do it now, when your voice is so sweet and caring and you’re so soft and warm?

“I don’t like my job,” Javier finally says. “Haven’t liked it in a while, but I thought I have to see it through, at least till my contract expires, then I’ll figure it out, but… it’s hard.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. How long till your contract expires?”

“Another year, but I don’t think I can stand being around murder cases for that long.”

“I get that. Hits a bit too close to where it haunts you, doesn’t it?”

Javier is the one to meet your eyes first, nodding. Months have gone by since the two of you have become intimate in every possible way, and yet it still surprises him greatly that you are so familiar with the cues of his insecurities and fears, sometimes even when he himself isn’t.

“You should quit your job then,” you tell him, caressing the back of his hand. “You’ll find something else, no matter what that is.”

“What kind of job do you think I could do? Since I trained, this is… this is all that I know.”

“You can do anything you like, honey. You can sell tires, be a flight attendant, anything. That’s not what’s important.”

“What is, then?”

You cup his cheeks, thus bringing him closer to your face as you breathe, “What matters most is that you’re okay. It’s just a job.”

You peck his lips again, and Javier closes his eyes, exhaling a little softer this time. The way you manage to calm him down every time, without fail, is something he would’ve called insanity some years ago—that is, if he would’ve even believed this was possible.

“There’s something else,” Javier murmurs, his forehead pressed gently against yours.

“Tell me.”

“I’m… thinking of going back to Laredo.”

You slowly let go of Javier in order to get a better look at him. You’re not sure what you’re trying to accomplish with such a hilarious move, but it’s the only one your body can come up with for the time being.

It’s not that his news is shocking. Quite the contrary, it’s natural; you suspected at some point Javier might feel homesick, but it seems that actually hearing the words has managed to bring you into an unforeseen state of surprise.

“Okay,” you say after a while, your hands now in your lap as you rummage through his words. “Permanently?”

“I don’t know,” Javier admits. “Would be ironic since I couldn’t wait to get out of that town when I was a teenager.”

You chuckle. “It’s normal, you were a kid wanting to know more. Now you’re a grown man, having seen a lot of the world. Parts of it that could easily destroy someone and yet you—“

“I wasn’t exempt from that, baby. That job did destroy me in some ways.”

“You’re still here though.”

Javier smiles, reaching for your hand. “I’m still here.”

“Going back to your hometown isn’t a bad thing at all, by the way.”

“I know. It feels kinda strange though. But my dad needs help around the ranch, even if he’s too proud to admit it, to me at least, and… that way I could be useful and do things that I know how to do. I could get a job there.”

“Sounds like you have it figured out.”

“Almost.”

You raise your eyebrows, facing him fully again.

“Almost?” you tease with a smile, which prompts him to do the same. “What else are you thinking about?”

“What if you came with me?”

Your whole face lights up, and this time you can truly say you were taken by surprise.

“You’re asking me to go to Laredo with you?”

“I’m asking you if that’s something that you’d like. If not, that’s fine. We can go long distance, I think. Right? I mean, lots of people do it.”

“You wanna do long distance?”

“I’m saying that’s an option.”

“You do realize that’s mostly talking and no sex, right?”

You actually see Javier gulp and visibly reconsider his opinion, much to your personal delight.

“Some sex can be involved,” he pushes much to your amusement.

“Phone sex doesn’t really count.”

“Damn it.”

You chuckle. “But I wouldn’t worry about that, we’re gonna have some great sex, honey.”

“Wh—you mean you’re coming with me?”

“Hell yes. I want to see your roots, meet your family… I hope they like me.”

“Are you kidding me? They’re gonna fuckin’ adore you.”

You smile at him, kissing him again.

“Are you sure about it though?” he checks with you. “I don’t wanna uproot you or anything, and it’s a big change—“

“Do they have a library over there?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Then it’s no problem.”

Utterly bewildered, Javier can only stare at you in awe. He still fears that he’ll forever lack the words to properly express to you how much you mean to him and how he truly feels about you. He’s always managed to avoid sappy conversations and to make up for what he lacks in words with actions, but with you, he feels like he needs to do more.

And there is something more he could do.

“What?” you ask amusedly when his eyes do not peel off of you.

“There is another thing I am thinking about.”

“Which is?”

A smirk graces Javier’s lips, and in that moment you come to realize that not only is it a mischievous smirk, but the reason behind it is something that genuinely excites Javier.

And that is in and of itself something incredible to witness.

“Have you ever thought about getting married?”

You raise your eyebrows and try to stifle a big smile. “About us getting married?”

“No, not necessarily us—well, actually, yes, a little us. A lot. Just—marriage in general. Have you ever… wanted to? Eventually?”

“If this really is how you’re proposing, sweetie, I feel like you can do better.”

Javier laughs out of sheer nervousness by now, but it’s probably for the first time in his adult life when he doesn’t feel embarrassed to be talking about his feelings out in the open.

“I do think about marriage,” you decide to ease his mind and stop teasing. “I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone, but I also don’t think it changes anything in a relationship. If it’s a strong relationship, marriage is only gonna strengthen it.”

“Dully noted.”

“My point is, I would like to get married, yes, since that seems to be the answer you’re after. Haven’t wanted to get married to any of my exes, so.”

“Now I’m flattered.”

“Ooh, so that’s why you and Steven were acting so weird when I got here!”

And then you gasp at the realization. “Oh my God, that’s the question I had to answer, isn’t it? If I want to marry you.”

Javier feels his cheeks flush in the slightest, so he clears his throat and looks away for a little while till he can organize his thoughts.

“Just to be clear, I wasn’t actually going to propose now,” he says. “It was a hypothetical, if I were to ask, would you say yes.”

“You can ask me and we’ll find out.”

Dumbfounded, Javier stares at you for what feels like an eternity. While he’s definitely gotten used to your humor and your bluntness, right now he can’t seem to tell whether you are serious or not.

“Are you serious?” Javier retorts, surprised to find out this is the only thing that he can ask, as silly as it sounds.

“You’re the one who brought up marriage.”

“Yeah but I didn’t mean—I’m not ready now. I don’t have a ring, I haven’t thought about a speech—“

You giggle, pulling him closer to you again. “Aw you’re nervous, it’s so cute.”

“I’m not—“

“It’s cute.”

You peck his lips and smile at him reassuringly. “Look, Javi, it’s great to know that you’re thinking about this too. Means we’re on the same page. But I do think we should give ourselves some more time before making things official. Maybe go to Laredo first, spend some time there with your dad and the rest of your family. Does that sound good?”

“It sounds like a dream honestly. The kind of dream I… didn’t think I could have. Or should have. For a long time there were only nightmares and pain and death, and now… there’s warmth and softness and light. And it’s all because of you.”

“Javi.”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

There was no need for Javier to hide his smiles, or hide in general. If anyone would ask him now how he felt, he’d probably reply with “disgustingly happy” because that is the most accurate description of his feelings.

“Are you sure about Laredo?” he asks you, and you roll your eyes at him.

“One hundred percent. Are you sure about marriage?”

“Two hundred percent.”

You smile. “Okay. So when you have your speech prepared and bought a ring—even if you don’t have to, by the way—you can ask me.”

“What if it’s tomorrow?”

“Then I guess tomorrow’s the day you hear my answer to that question.”

Deep down, Javier knows already. He sees the answer all over your face, he feels it in the way you hold him, in the way you kiss him and in the way you ease his mind and cast the nightmares away. He knows your answer.

But it’d still be incredible to hear it spoken from your lips.

previous

tags: @pedrostories @psychedelic-ink @milkymoon2483 @ifall4dilfs @casa-boiardi @fallenkitten @jenispunk

[deleteddewewted]

Poly! Price and Nikolai Headcannons

MDNI

W: Mild NSFW, Fluff, Poly! Relationship, Gn! Reader (Can be read as amab or afab reader)

Nik and Price were seeing each other already before they ever met you.

They had dated for a long time and slowly introduced the idea to each other of adding a third to their relationship.

They both were new to the idea of polyamory or adding a third partner as a whole as they had spent a large part of their lives just being the two of them.

They sat you down, wine, and dined you, and in the end, explained why they wanted to talk to you.

The three of you have known each other for a while so when you get together as a thruple, it felt natural.

They were upset when you didn't immediately move in with them but they didn't want to push it if you weren't ready to move in with them.

They had bought their home a long while ago when they were both younger

Nik makes sure to spoil the two of you. He gets Price his favorite cigars even though he wishes his husband would kick the habit but with you, he indulges you without question.

Price is the same with Nikolai and you, though, he shows his affection through spending time with you both.

The three of you make a schedule on who's favorite activity you're going to do and rotate because if you don't organize you all forget what you're doing and the routine gets messed up.

They like to cook together. They expanded the kitchen just so the three of you could cook together without hassle.

When you still lived in your own place, they would make sure to pamper you since they didn't share their space with you yet. They would hold you, cook for you, make sure you were taken care of in general.

Nikolai hates doing chores like cleaning so he tells you and Price that if you both give him the filthiest French kiss you can manage he'll do it without complaining. (You both make sure he's fucked out of his mind and watch as he struggles to clean while hickeys, bite marks, and cum drips down his exposed lower half. Sometimes you both like to tease him while he's cleaning just to see him flustered and needy.)

They get you a ring and propose to you during a break they managed to get. The three of you flew out to a country you've been wanting to visit for a while and when the moment was right, they both proposed to you

The wedding was just with the people you three were closest to and was overall a blast.

Nick got shitfaced, Price was wanting to dance with you both the entire night, and you were eager to get them both started on the honeymoon.

Post-honeymoon, they continued to be as devoted and as charming as before. The only difference is that they now have to fully worry about you.

They took care of you while sick, they helped you dress, they worshiped you.

God knows you are all afraid of the possibility of never coming back. You all fear not ever being able to sleep in the same bed or whisper "I love you's" throughout the day.

No matter how scared, they still promise to come back to you, to each other.

No matter the harshness of the assignment, they always try to reach out to you so you know their still alive and thinking of you.

They'll find a way to retire or at least make sure your life is comfortable if they were to pass away.

[suugarbabe]

Sweater weather fic! Oh my gosh it’s finally fall season I was wondering if you could possibly write a FIC abt Theodore Nott x reader smut based off the song? I LOVE UR WORK SM PLS DONT OVERWORK URSELF BABE

so sorry this took me so longggg, i really truly struggle with lyric fics so if it's shite don't come for me!

warning: there is some smut, couldn't help meself, sooooory

And all I am is a man I want the world in my hands I hate the beach But I stand in California with my toes in the sand Use the sleeves of my sweater Let's have an adventure Head in the clouds but my gravity centered Touch my neck and I'll touch yours You in those little high waisted shorts, oh

Theo had known you basically his whole life. Your dad and uncle ‘worked’ closely with his father, so he had seen you at your cousin’s house near constantly, then every summer and holiday since you all started attending Hogwarts. 

Your cousin being Lorenzo Berkshire, or as everyone called him, Enzo. Your family had always referred to you and Enzo as ‘the twins’ despite you being only cousins because you were both born on the same day and both had similar features. Your parents were so close that you even had a room at Enzo's house for when you stayed over. Theo attributes this fact as to the reason he had been so dismissive of you being a girl while growing up. 

The first time Theo remembers really seeing you, like noticing you noticing you was near the end of fifth year. Now it was the second half of summer and his new infatuation had only grown tenfold. He wasn’t sure what had happened during the first half of summer while he was away in Italy with his father, but something happened to you. 

When you came down from the house that night in a slouchy jumper and short high waisted shorts he thought he might pass out. He looked around the bonfire that was happening and noticed the only open space was on the bench next to him and he thanked Merlin and the stars above for aligning so perfectly. 

As you sat down next to him, you left little space between you two. He hoped the darkness around helped disguise the way his eyes raked over your form from everyone else at the fire. He couldn’t help but practically drool at the thickness of your thighs and how desperately he wanted to feel the heat of them around his head.

Oh, she knows what I think about And what I think about One love, two mouths One love, one house No shirt, no blouse Just us, you find out Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no 'Cause it's too cold For you here And now, so let me hold Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

His breath seemed to catch in his throat when you hooked your pinky over his resting on the bench. He looked up to your face to see if you had done it on purpose only to be met with a quick glance and a wink from you before you turned back to your conversation with Pansy on the other side of you. 

Theo’s mind was racing at just the small action, not being able to compute in his brain that you may be thinking the same about him as he was about you. Before he could come up with some sort of explanation you subtly moved closer to him so that your thigh was squished against his. 

If that wasn’t enough, you then placed your hand on his thigh. Now…now, he thought he might die, might pass out even as he glanced around the fire. Somehow, thankfully, no one took notice of the small and simple movement; most importantly, Enzo didn’t notice, too heavily engaged in conversation with Blaise. 

When he looked back over your eyes were on him, amused smirk on your face. He laughed out rather bashfully, scratching the back of his neck like a nervous tick. When you leaned towards him he held his breath, afraid he might burst on the spot. When your lips were next to his ear, your breath on his skin, he swore he was going to be fully aroused right then, right there in front of everyone. 

“Wait five minutes, then meet me in my room. It’s the one across from Enzo’s in case you forgot,” with a quick squeeze to his thigh, you got up, telling Pansy you had to use the restroom as you walked away. 

Theo sat nervously on the bench, his leg on fire where your hand had just been while his other bounced nervously. He wasn’t sure how long it had been, but he needed you, now. So he spouted something about getting another drink, waving off the calls from other’s to grab them one as well, he trudged up to the house in pursuit of you.

And if I may just take your breath away I don't mind if there's not much to say Sometimes the silence guides a mind To move to a place so far away The goosebumps start to raise The minute that my left hand meets your waist And then I watch your face Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love to taste, yeah These hearts adore, everyone the other beats hardest for Inside this place is warm Outside it starts to pour

Your mouth was on Theo’s before he could even say anything, fisting the material of his jumper to pull him impossibly closer. You tugged on the material and Theo quickly shed himself of the layer, taking his shirt along with it. You took the opportunity to pull your jumper off as well, leaving Theo nearly breathless at the sight of you in just your bra and shorts.

His mouth was on your skin as his hands found your waist, gripping the soft skin as his name fell from your lips. Goosebumps raised in the trail of his fingertips of one hand as it lightly glided against and explored your body while the other slid under the waistband of your shorts.

Your hands trailed over his abs, feeling the divots and ridges of his muscles as he popped the button to your shorts, pulling down the zipper. His fingers teased the band of your panties, pausing briefly to look you in the eyes, silently asking permission to continue. 

As you nodded your head his hand slipped further, fingers dipping between your folds and gathering your slick before rubbing tight circles against your bundle of nerves. Your nails dug into Theo’s shoulders as he swallowed your moans. Pushing two fingers deep into your cunt causing your back arched off the wall and further into Theo's chest. 

He was in heaven having you fall apart at his touch. As he pressed against the spongy part inside of you your eyes rolled into the back of your head, thighs trembling as he repeated the action. As he curled his fingers once more there was a knock at the door, causing his hand to still inside you. 

“I know you’re in there, Theodore,” Draco’s tone was teasing. As Theo slipped his fingers from inside you, you grabbed his wrist, guiding his fingers to your tongue and licking them clean of your juices. 

Theo couldn’t suppress the soft whimper that left his lips at the sight of your tongue wrapped around his digits, barely noticing the door being opened and a smirking Draco standing in the doorway. “If you two are done being pervs with each other, we’re all in the living room now, it started raining.” 

Theo looked from Draco to you, cheeks aflame and mouth agape trying to find a proper response. You gave him another quick wink before placing a chaste kiss to his cheek and following Draco down the hall to meet the others, Theo close on your tail.

[neuroprincess]

Holding Her - Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Summary: Melissa doesn't usually scare easily, but her daughter, so small and fragile, is the scariest thing she has to face.

Classification: Slight angst, fluff

Warnings: Premature baby, insecurity

Word count: +1400

Unrevised

She's small, much more so compared to her brother who was born equally prematurely, she's fragile and much calmer. When Melissa looks at her, suddenly feels incredibly scared of this little human being. The hands, which she had never considered big or imposing before, seem extraordinary big to hold the baby weighing less than 5 pounds for the first time, right there in the labor room, just after her chaotic arrival into the world. Olivia Ann doesn't cry much, doesn't give much work and sleeps almost all the time, the little body seeming to struggle to breathe, something that makes her heart ache and a strange feeling in the pit of stomach with the sight, as well as the slightest possibility of losing her little girl. If she could, she would breathe and give the life for her, feel the pain and struggle in her place.  

"Mel..." Y/N calls her after realizing that she isn't listening, the two are in the same room while the younger finishes feeding the newborn "Do you want to hold her?" and offers after the nurse understands what she means, agreeing.  

Having been born prematurely and underweight, the girl was admitted to the ICU almost immediately. The next day mom was released, but she remained in the hospital for three days under observation, intubated to ensure that there were no complications, so that she could breathe properly, being fed by tube in the hope of gaining enough weight and barely able to be held by her parents, only during visits guided by the nurses. It's a painful experience. Melissa is fully aware of how this affects her wife even more, but a selfish part can't help feeling jealous of how she manages to hold the baby. She knows how she should just put out the arms and graciously accept the privilege of finally being able to hold Liv after everything, to feel skin-to-skin with her, as recommended, to talk tenderly to her, to tell her how much she is loved and to stroke the (y/h/c) hair. But she's scared. The tubes are gone and her daughter seems stronger than the day before, skin more flushed, eating naturally, the idea of touching her still scary. What if her hands are too rough and/or strong? It could hurt or make her hate being held by the teacher. What if the perfume bothers her? Or she doesn't even know how to hold it? After all, the first time they left the hospital with a chubby little ball and now they have a little doll that seems to weigh as a feather, fragile as glass. 

"I... No... Yes, no, I don't know." she struggles for words and the green eyes water when she notices the confused look on her wife's face, replaced by sadness "Amore mio..."  

"I know you're worried, but our little girl is strong and she'll surely love your lap." the other whispered in encouragement, looking at their daughter in her arms, already a little sleepy after feeding.  

"It scares me." the redhead confessed with a sigh.  

"Holding her?"  

"No. She..." their eyes meet and she ponders for a few seconds before explaining "I was so scared when our Liv was born and I held her in that room after I thought we'd lost her, I felt like the world had stopped and she's so small, so fragile, her tiny hands holding my finger. I felt afraid. With the slight possibility of losing her, of losing you, somehow hurting Liv in that one minute that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. And she's here."  

"With us. It was really scary, for both of us, but seeing that she's fighting gave me the strength to keep going. I confess I was scared to hold her too, the experience was like she might break in my arms or the tubes would mess up, a million possibilities ran through my head, well, until I had our little baby in my arms." Y/N settles Olivia in her arms, admiring how different she already looks after a few days of life, with a healthier appearance and her facial features appearing little by little, it's progress "Liv is here, strong, fighting, that's what matters now."  

"But..."  

"No buts, no excuses. Come here." she points to the armchair she's in, opening up a space for Mel to sit next to her, which she does without contest "Look at our girl. Ten toes, ten fingers, a cute little button nose, just like Luca's when he was born, isn't it?"  

She ponders, taking a closer look at the little face, the eyes are the same shape as Y/N's (even if it's her color), they also share the same hair color, the same mouth and ears, but the nose... it's identical to their firstborn's, which he inherited from her. Every day the boy looks more and more like her, a spitting copy. It warmed her heart. And made her a little convinced.  

"Yes, she does... And the same feet too."  

"The little chubby feet of the Schemmenti." the wife teases.  

"Hey, it's a family heirloom, chubby feet and delicious recipes make a Schemmenti." she laughs, feeling some of the tension drain away, then whispers, "And street smartness too." 

"That's a fact." both laugh and a comfortable silence hangs in the air, green eyes fixed on their daughter who begins to fall asleep calmly "Honey, do you want to try? I'm here, there's a nurse right over there." she points to the nurse at the door of the room talking to a coworker "It'll be fine. But if you..."  

"No, no, I want to try, amore mio." a sudden confidence runs down her spine and almost by instinct she puts out her arms, an apprehensive smile on the lips, a glow in the air and anxiety in her stomach, she could swear she was about to sweat through to hands "I want to hold Liv."  

The couple exchange a complicit look, trying to reassure each other, it's kind and understandable. The teacher smiles genuinely this time. When she realizes that this is really happening, the heartbeat increases and the fingertips tingle. Before can have any doubts or think about giving up, she feels the little bundle of joy being placed against her chest, and the arms instinctively wrap around the colorful blanket. The smell of baby reaches her nostrils, slightly sweet and very pleasant, the skin is soft, fine hair adorns the top of head and her eyes open in curiosity, exploring the atmosphere, who is holding her.  

"Ciao, cara mia." she whispers to the girl, admiring every little feature and movement, she seems to recognize her mom by voice.  

"You know, newborns can't see very well, but they recognize voices that they heard in the womb. And you talked to her, told her stories and even sang. She recognizes you." Y/N says with emotion and leans in, giving her wife a chaste kiss "And your voice... well, it's unique." 

"I know, that's why you fell in love with me so quickly." Melissa shrugs the shoulders smugly, internally melting with delight that the daughter remembers her and seems to like it, because when Liv hears her again quickly smiles, even though she knows it's just a spasm, it still makes her sigh, thinking it's one of the cutest things she's ever seen in the world "You like my voice, don't you, my principessa?!"  

 Her wife watches the whole interaction with admiration, never failing to stare at the sweet smile forming cute dimples, knowing that she has chosen the right person to have children with. The redhead is simply so natural with Liv as she is with LuLu, anyone can feel the love in every gesture, word and look, she understands the insecurity she had about holding the baby, but she knew that once they were together there would be no separating the duo. In addition, Olivia always seems calmer in the presence of the other woman than with her, the one who gave birth. They talk for a few more minutes until the newborn falls asleep again. No surprise, considering that babies of this age sleep around 16 hours a day and in a fragmented way.   

All said and done, Mel still didn't want to let her go and kept holding her, unable to separate herself from their youngest.  

"She still scares you?"  

"Yes." she replied, pausing between sentences, looking at Olivia with affection "She scares me how fucking much I love her."  

"No swearing around our kids, Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti!" 

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Schemmenti Family Masterlist

[zeondraws]

It is 4AM in the morning, I should hit the bed asap. But I needed some time on my own tonight, because I've been supressing feelings way too much the past months. (Thought post about random thoughts, no clue if they make sense it's 5AM when I post this)

I found it really hard to talk to friends about my emotions as of recent. One reason might be, that I still suffer some pain I endured from the old work enviroment.

Somehow I often just want to be left alone, I feel very drained most of the time. But that often leads to a loop effect and I isolate myself further.

Like, at the old workplace I was expected to do something constantly, if I wasn't working on anything for over 3min I'd get scolded or yelled at. Or my coworker would become an adult baby and behave strangely. The other coworkers never saw anything wrong with him, so I was extremely afraid that everyone else had something against me. My old boss would side with him from time to time. The constant demand to stay productive was so draining.

In the end I got replaced, I mean I thankfully found a new job by then. But a new person came in, another inexperienced young person who seemed nice and all. Not sure how she is doing in that place, either she fits right in, or my coworker is making her endure the same pain, or he just overworks himself as he usually does. A person who had my job before I came, became extremely demotivated there and simply left to another workplace.

I try to explain this a bit to highlight some difficulties I am experiencing atm... I don't talk to family about my feelings that much. I tried but, they get easily offended if I vent too much. I have no called my dad back in a while, I already know when I call him back he will only be offended. Or maybe I am spiraling rn. My head makes things appear worse than they actually are.

You guys see how much stuff I have been doing on tumblr the past months or so. I don't remember how long it's been, but... I am still in this mindset of constantly working and staying productive. I rest when I can but I always get the feeling "I have to stay productive" and work on stuff, even when I am sick. In a way it helps to not fall into thoughht spirals, tho then I don't give myself enough space to rest.

I don't know what my end goal with this endless productivity is supposed to be, I want to be helpful in some way and feel like I belong somewhere. But even right now I feel like something is missing... I can't grasp this thought, I don't know what my end goal is. Been messing with fmodel so much to get the game work on this for datamining, I posted a thread on the fmodel server and they said the game is fully working with it. Which suprised me, that I was able to achieve that. Was I the first one to do so? I always thought there is someone better than me already. I often just think I will be some replaceable object, where someone else just takes my place. And this thought... spirals in a way- where I think very less of me. Stuff like I will be forgotten anyways or hmm someone better comes.

My family treated me like an object at times, not letting me decide what to do. Old coworker did the same and I am expected to just agree to everything they say. I tried extremely hard to fight back at the old workplace but I was always met with a wall.

Sometimes I would struggle venting to friends, because when I felt the lowest I get very clingy. I think when I saw Muir in game I noticed some similarity in him in me for example. Even tho I hate to admit that thought, but I have gotten way better at being less clingy. Maybe it's because I grew up a bit more. I definitely ain't the same like 4 years ago. But not to sidetrack too much... sometimes I would vent to friends and they'd bombard me with advice or, maybe some advice felt off for me. One friend once said that we're replaceable (job related) and that didn't sit right with me. Some of this advice would put me off so much that I would stop talking about my feelings with anyone, or just one small friendgroup. But I don't mention a lot there. I think... I think what I can see with myself is, I distance myself so much from everyone, I don't dm people to have a normal chat (I think I get very confused when I hear people dm each other all the time, what do people dm each other for...?I wouldn't know what to talk about), maybe I hang out on servers. I don't want to look at my main phone because suddenly so much makes me nervous again. I want to be alone the entire time and the meds stop some emotions from popping up.

So I have random outbursts where I would cry. and I really need to sit down after sleep and find a new group therapy.. today

I put ridiculous standards on myself sometimes, not wanting to appear weak and appear "professional". But my imagination of being professional is basically be emotionless and work without problems. Tho this doesn't make sense, perhaps I worry too much since I noticed some people really like what I do here. And I don't want to let people down in that regard. but I don't know how.

Earlier I was debating on wether it is strong if I show my weakness or if it's better to hide it. Tho hiding doesn't bring much for me, it's rather bad.

Yknow an earlier post where I mentioned I really like Roper? I get the feeling one of the reasons I find him interesting is, because the way he appears. He doesn't seem to show emotions that much, rather monotone and seems to be a hard working individual. Who sadly needs to do way more because Rennick makes things more difficult. Tho like, even if you see him in Marine Control later... he just suffers in silence. Ain't like Trots who went full bananas, or Muir feeling extremely anxious and all. Or Addair wanting to call his kids and Rennick just flat maniac. Roper just, sits there and tries to avoid saying much. Only thing he says is to keep Rennick away. Maybe the deleted soundfile of the scene says otherwise, but in my view it feels like idk he just ain't somebody who would talk about his feelings. Maybe Roper is some visual imagination of what I think a professional is, but I think he probably has different problems that could be way worse. Suppressing feelings is not good, I still have a lot to work on, on myself.

I am sadly getting too tired to continue this string of thoughts...I always feel very awkward posting my feelings on the web. I wouldn't know where else to thow them.

I will post something silly after sleep. I made some dumb screenshots ingame that literally made me giggle for half an hour ioudhwioeu. Okay, goodnight

[noodles-doodles01]

I know I used to defend this, and I blame it on the fact that the writers banked on season 2 taking 2 years to make and I just FORGOT a lot of s1 points.

Aemond betraying Aegon is stupid. And that being the turning point for him to becoming a villain is even more stupid.

S1 shows he defends his family above all, despite his anger towards Aegon. And that works with how book!Daemon acts (since they are supposed to be warped reflections of one another).

Now I haven’t read FnB in a while, so correct me if this deviates from the book too much:

Aemond uses how he perceives Daemon as a way to cover up his guilt, and this guilt drives him toward becoming more violent as the series progresses.

I always thought Aemond’s guilt would be his driving motivation this season. A scene with his admission to murdering Luke and acting that it was on purpose, having to deal with the closest person in his family almost dropping him for an enemy (Alicent raised him this way, but she’s still a religious woman, and knows this has them nosediving into war). I didn’t hate the brothel scenes since Aemond does struggle with relations in general and does add to his character on that front (it would also give a decent parallel, seeing that Daemon used brothels as a station for power, whilst Aemond seeks comfort from the same place).

Blood and Cheese would be the point where Aemond starts to lose it. He fully blames himself for the death of Jahaerys, being the one who killed Luke and the one who was the initial target (ideally that’s just what he thinks). He begins to hold this heavy burden of having to carry his family’s well being on his own being the rider of Vhagar, and it starts to chip at him.

He becomes more irritable, and starts plotting for war in his spare time. This gets taken as him doing things behind the king’s back, and it doesn’t help that Aemond getting pissed over Aegons pettiness proves that point further. But he DOESNT betray him, the anger and frustration is simply from his overwhelming fear that his stupidity will eradicate his family. This would be so interesting since Aemond is closest with Alicent, giving them decent parallels in which they begin to realize their ambition came at a cost (and I’m talking book Alicent here not the schmuck that Condal wrote).

Then Rook’s Rest. In FnB the way that it’s written him betraying Aegon and it being a stupid tactical mistake are both viable reasons (he dove Vhagar down atop Meleys and Sunfyre) and I’m ok with both, but it being a stupid mistake where Aemond is overconfident serves this concept more. Again he acts as though it’s nothing.

Now this guilt journey doesn’t erase other aspects of his character: Aemond still believes he’s better fit to be king, he believes he is superior to team black, and that translates still, there should never be any doubt in those points. The guilt should come from the fear that he may not be able to protect his family, with Alicents words gnawing at him. So he never removes the conquerors crown bc it gives a sense of comfort, he is king, he holds all power. He never betrays his family, because despite everything they are better off than the league of Bastards.

But the key difference between him and Daemon, is that Daemon is experienced. He knows how to bait the younger version of himself, and that’s what gives him the upper hand.

When Aemond goes to Harrenhall and realizes he’s been tricked, he burns at the river lands. It’s a terrible reaction to the guilt he feels and that’s where the villainy comes from: he finds comfort in this false sense of tyranny when he’s overwhelmed.

Now imagine the amount of fun Alys has when she realizes this bundle of guilt waddled into her playground. The girl will give him visions for weeks depicting all the wrongs he’s done and ramping up what he’s been feeling, telling him the only way to get past this is to destroy Daemon (I HC that Alys just wants to get rid of both of them). She also uses the fact that he’s alone to manipulate him further, and he believes that she loves him and cares for him.

It makes his character more interesting and more consistent with what we’ve seen in s1, and it gives a nuance that wouldn’t be recorded in FnB.

And best of all:

EWAN MITCHELL WOULD KILL IT

[doyouevenshipbr0]

could aang beat korra’s villains and could korra beat aang’s?

*

so this discourse is kinda all over right now with all the arguments over who’s the better avatar: aang or korra.

and while i do really believe some people are just hating to hate and being nonsensical for the sake of supporting their fav, i do think there is actual interesting conversations to be had about their strengths and weaknesses as avatars.

so im going to give my opinion on this.

HOWEVER right off the bat i wanna say: i really dont think there are actual answers to any of these. because you cannot predict how aang/korra would have ACTUALLY acted in these situations because aang and korra probably wouldnt have ended up in each other’s exact positions anyway when you think about what they did to lead up to that point.

also, honestly, i think it’s pretty hard to compare since imo tlok is decently more action packed than atla. the fighting animation is simply better and more detailed, and fight scenes are longer. im not saying fighting as a whole is better than tlok (even though i personally think it is) bc a big complaint with tlok fights are that they’re very MMA styled and a lot of kicking and punching. which is true TO AN EXTENT. but whatever. not gonna get into that. lets get into their villains.

this is gonna be long winded AS FUCK. im not gonna literally go through every single villain. but the big ones.

and i’m going with how these two are as avatars at the end of their respective series. so not when theyre “fully realized” avatars, but still at their peaks by the end of their shows.

zhao: korra easily clears when it comes to a 1 v 1.

zuko: again, easily clears, and honestly, if korra were there we would nottttt have seen a zuko redemption arc bc she simply would have killed him in their first encounter. now i KNOW aang 1 was a way less developed bender in season one and 2 definitely had no intention of ever killing zuko, but im js korra wouldve put a stop to these fire nation hijinks real quick.

invasion of the north pole: eek. i honestly find it kind of hard to believe korra wouldve been able to go full ocean spirit monster mode. just because we’ve really never seen her bond with spirits in the same way aang did. i know i know, raava, but i just dont know if i can see this specific scenario for korra. really hard to say.

ty lee: i dont fully think its fair to include her bc ty lee was more involved with group effort stuff, but i just wanna say i think she would have FUCKED on korra lmfao. she does not have the evasion skills for this. and as we can see in tlok, she has a hard time dealing with chi blockers. i think she would ULTIMATELY beat ty lee bc yknow avatar state or whatever, but i wanna note i think in a 1v1 aang would have 0 problems taking care of ty lee and korra would struggle kinda big time.

azula: again, i think ultimately she could beat azula, but she would really really struggle. i know aang struggles with azula as well, but i think aang has an easier time dealing with her than korra would. azula is not only very strong, but she’s very smart and resourceful and crafty. i think this would, again, be a real avatar cheat code moment where she just goes into the avatar state and wipes the floor with her. but let’s assume theres no avatar state…… korra would struggle for sure. i do think even without the avatar state she would win, but it would be ugly.

ozai: she would fuck ozai upppppp idc. interestingly, i do believe ozai is a better firebender than azula, but ozai’s style of bending is one korra can easily adapt to and overcome. they are both very blow for blow brute strength type of benders. i think korra deals with these types of fighters waaaaaaay better than the fighters that are more finesse, skill, and strategy based. and by the end of the series, we can see that she has developed a good bit in these categories, so she’s got that working for her too. i dont think it would be a walk in the park by any means, but honestly, i think she handles ozai no avatar state needed. yeah i said it. dont care.

now for tlok villains

chi blockers: they would have never been able to touch aang tbh. he wouldve been able to do whatever he wanted w them. he is genuinely a master of evasion, so i really think he would have had 0 trouble with them.

tarrlok: aang would have dealt with him easily bc at the end of atla, hes able to go into the avatar state on command. in korra’s defense, she is also able to do that by the end of s1. so i think they both couldve easily dealt with him with having the avatar state. without the avatar state, then i dont think aang wins tbh.

amon: i think aang would have dealt with amon very very similarly to tarrlok. however, again, without the avatar state, hes a goner. we saw he was not able to ever overcome blood bending without the avatar state. korra WAS eventually able to do that. so idk i think in general, korra would fair better against any bloodbender than aang would.

unalaq: tbh its hard for me to even remember korra’s fight w unalaq bc i just hate that season and this fight is all over the place. i kinda feel like aang would win against unalaq easier than korra would, but when they become those big energy things, i cant imagine aang would be able to do much bc aang doesnt throw hands like that. he doesnt have the brute strength korra does. so like i do think he would lose there, but im not sure if he’d ever even let it get to that point yknow? the big plot point of this season is korra’s connection with the spirit world, and i think aang has a much stronger connection to the spirits, so i feel like thats gotta have something to do with it? idk man i hate this season lol.

zaheer: in a 1v1 aang would CLEEEEEAAAAAAARRRR its not even funny. red lotus WHO?!?!? gtfo w ur 2 weeks of airbending. goofy.

rest of red lotus: honestly, again, i think aang would have a better handle on them than korra did. i think aang is much better at adapting to opponents and their bending style. i do think he would struggle, but would overcome his struggles quicker than korra did

red lotus poisoning scene: aang would have flat out died lmfao sorry. there is nooooo wayyyyy he would have been able to break those chains and fight like that with that poison going through his body. im sorry u literally cannot convince me otherwise. i feel like this one is the most obvious, and it may be controversial, but i do not care. i stand by this so hard.

kuvira: so right off the bat. im sorry. i have to say this. aang cant metalbend. and i really really really think that would be a huge detriment. bc most of her bending is metalbending, and aang not being able to redirect/counter that is a BIG issue. however, i think he can go into the avatar state and whoop on her. but thats kind of the same for both korra and aang for every villain? if aang DID have metalbending i think he would have a much easier time with her than korra does. but aang cant metalbend. and i think thats a big issue with her.

ok thats it.

i do want to let it be known that i realize it may look like i favored korra a lot here, but i also wanna say that i think if aang were in korra’s position in general, a lot of these problems would not have even gotten this far. im mainly talking about the unalaq of it all. i think aang has better intuition than korra, which i understand may sound like a lot of bs, but i rly do believe that. i also believe he would have been smarter in the zaheer situation honestly. i did say that aang would notttttt have been able to survive the poison which i honestly fully believe, but i feel like aang wouldn’t have gotten to that point anyway. yknow what i mean?

ok bye!!!!

[remotepixel]

Hi!! Can you write something for the platonic Yandere Avengers with a meta–human teenage reader? Something resembling emotion management. The reader can cause apathy, joy, etc. BUT at the same time he does not want to deal with the avengers

Hi!!! Thank you for requesting!

Tw: yandere themes + kidnapping mentions.

The way you meet the Avengers would really depend on how vocal you are about your powers.

-If you’re a vigilante of sorts, relying on triggering criminal’s emotions and fighting them head on, they would reach out first (they don’t really want unidentified superpower kids running around).

-If you hide/use your powers for smaller things, it would probably be another event (e.g. winning a national competition) that draws their attention to you.

Either way, as time progresses, you’re able to clearly see their obsessiveness surrounding you, and, obviously, you don’t want to be apart of that.

-Apathy was the first emotion you tried. If they simply didn’t care about you, they would you leave you alone, yeah?

-Yeah, no.

-If they didn’t yet know of your powers, they could take a good guess now.

Obviously all of them wouldn't be fans of it but I think Tony would hate your powers the most.

-He already struggles to deal with his feelings so constantly supplying him with more messes with his head, especially when it's a clear sign you don't like him.

-He would spend hours reaching in hopes of finding a solution.

Natasha would be a close second.

-Growing up as a spy who was taught to lack any emotion, there's a lot of unprocessed feelings still there.

-In a way, the apathy isn't that different from how she normally feels, or at least presents, but knowing someone else is trying to control her emotions again leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

Steve, on the other hand, doesn't think too much of it.

-He's aware that this is your coping skill and this whole situation is a lot to handle.

-He'll still hang out, trying to ignore the chokehold of unwanted feelings you’re sending his way, and talk to you like normal.

Bruce would probably be uncomfortable but try to follow Steve's footsteps.

-In a way, the apathy is nice compared to the guilt he feels.

-He knows, probably the most out of all of them, the obsessiveness they all feel isn’t normal at all.

-However, he still goes along with Tony’s experiments and ideas of how to stop (or even better, fully get rid) of your powers, despite any regrets he knows he’ll have.

Clint is also a bit reluctant.

-Thanks to having a family on his own, Clint knows how to deal with kids.

-But those ones don’t ignore him and send him the emotional version of a death threat.

-I think he’ll go along with the other avengers for their sakes rather than his.

-He has a family to ground him, make him self-aware and less overbearing as the others, but he’s not going out of his way to stop them either.

Thor’s a bit unaware of how you want nothing to do with them.

-He wouldn’t be good at dealing with your powers, but he’s dealt with Loki for all his life, and he’s sure you’ll turn around eventually.

-He’ll try to ‘deny’ any emotions you’re sending him while acting too casual for a god trying to befriend some teenager.

If you don’t warm up after a few months, they’d resort to kidnapping.

-It wasn’t their favourite idea, since it would definitely take away any process they’ve made (not that it’s much), but it now means they can constantly be around you and you can’t do anything (yay!).

-Your powers would either be taken away, or useless (e.g. staying a certain distance away if it’s range limited), leaving you completely defenceless.

From there, it’s a waiting game for stockholm syndrome to kick in so you can finally realise who your true family :)

[sevensoulmates]

Buck, Eddie, Love Interests & Vulnerability

So I noticed something interesting while I was watching a romcom with my friend tonight and I wanted to share my thoughts.

I remembered that in writing romance, whether for screen or in written format, one of the fundamental keys to making your characters establish a deep relationship is to have them share vulnerable moments.

Why is it important for two characters to be mutually vulnerable to develop a romance? Because if your potential partner is not able to see the most vulnerable parts of yourself and love you for it even more, then that's not the partner for you. Most of us are aware of this, and that's why those moments in any romance where two characters open up and let each other in are extremely important.

Now I want to talk about Buck and Eddie's relationships with their various LI's (hopefully as briefly as I can) and analyze the relationships and the audience's reception to them.

With Buck, his relationship with Abby, love it or hate it, definitely included many vulnerable moments with the two of them opening up to each other. Buck felt like Abby could see him, and he was able to be vulnerable with her about how he felt. Abby was very open about her struggles with her mom. This bonded them together quickly and allowed the audience to at least understand why they were into each other if nothing else. I still believe Buck's relationship with Abby was the strongest of his female love interests in the show (even despite all the faults).

With Ali, the only time we see Buck be vulnerable is right after the truck explosion, and instead of that vulnerability being accepted, it is rejected by Ali, hence why their relationship does not continue.

With Taylor....this relationship was lopsided. Taylor managed to open up to Buck during the pandemic episodes, and about her past, and Buck accepted her and supported her, but the same could not be said vice versa. With the exception of the scene where Taylor tries to help Buck after Eddie is shot (and even that has him rejecting her and her insisting but I digress), when Buck opened up about things, his insecurities, etc, they were almost always met with skepticism, mockery, and even exasperation, even though she was no longer outwardly cruel. Buck made a lot of mistakes in their relationship too, but all of this (in my personal opinion) was done because he knew, subconsciously, that he and Taylor were not fully connecting on the emotional level they both needed, and that led to their ultimate breakup.

With Natalia, the girl wasn't comfortable with any part of Buck's life, and I don't think either of them really shared any truly vulnerable moments at all. Even though they were talking a lot about Buck's death. I think at first, Buck misunderstood Natalia's interest in his death as acceptance of his vulnerabilities (exactly what he was missing in his last relationship with Taylor) but in the end, he realized that once again, they were not connecting the way they needed to, and he ended it.

Now, I'm going to shift to Eddie because he's interesting. The first relationship we see him in is with Shannon. We see moments between the two of them where Shannon is able to open up about her vulnerabilities with Eddie...but (in my opinion) I don't know if Eddie was ever able to truly accept them, as evidenced by him being "unable to trust her" even after he's already begun sleeping with her. In contrast, I don't think we ever really see Eddie open up to her, not really, not even during the very last time they have dinner together. His speech to Shannon is less about him being open and honest with his vulnerabilities, but more so a promise to stifle his worries about their relationship, his fears about what she could do to Chris (and Eddie) emotionally, to fall back into the comfortable nuclear family they'd made, to keep his issues to himself all in the pursuit of "making it right" with her. In Eddie Begins, we also see that when Shannon tries to make vulnerable connections with Eddie they are shut down, and when Eddie is given opportunities to open up to Shannon and let her in on how he's feeling, he denies them. I understand why some people find their relationship fascinating, but I think most people agree these two were never right for each other because Eddie and Shannon are never able to make the true, deep vulnerable connections necessary in order to really truly be there and accept and love each other as true forever partners.

Next, we have Ana. Good lord the only vulnerable conversation these two ever had on screen was their breakup. They have awkward dates where they talk about math, and when Ana tries to get Eddie to start talking about Shannon ie "I know there's not been anyone in his life since his mom" Eddie very promptly shuts down that convo. Later on, even after Eddie is shot, they still don't have any vulnerable conversations. Then, when Eddie has his panic attacks, still nothing. The only time Eddie is ever 100% honest with her is when they break up. And that's why literally no one watching had any investment in these two as a couple.

I want to spare a brief interlude for Felisa Valdez and Vanessa. I hypothesize a lot of the reason why people think Eddie "had chemistry" with these two was not just because they are all hot individuals or had any sort of special connection (let's be real they were all virtual strangers to each other). But there is one thing that sets both of them apart from Eddie's other two love interests. Felisa was able to be very open and honest with Eddie about why she stays in not-so-healthy friendships, and in turn, Eddie shared with her about the tsunami and Chris. They were able to connect through mutual vulnerability (even though it wasn't too deep on Eddie's end). Similarly, Vanessa is able to be open with Eddie about how she was hurt by her ex-fiance in the past and that she wants to protect her own feelings now. Eddie both admires her honesty and connects with her vulnerability (as it is a shared one even though Eddie doesn't tell her so onscreen). But because of that vulnerable moment, most of us actually really liked Vanessa and thought she and Eddie were cute.

Moving on to Marisol, it could be argued that Eddie sees Marisol in her most vulnerable moment (when she thinks her brother is gonna die), but that was not really a moment where Marisol chooses to be vulnerable with Eddie, he just happens to be there witnessing it. Then fast forward through the rest of the scenes they have in season 6, there are no moments of them being open and vulnerable with each other (and no I don't count the asking-out scene that was just awkwardness). Then we head into season 7, she's been in one scene, and that was all surface level too. In fact, the person that Eddie's being most vulnerable with in that same scene is Buck. For that reason, and external reasons related to the actress, most people are not interested in Eddie/Marisol at all.

Which brings me to my next and biggest point.

The person that Buck and Eddie have been able to share most of, if not all, their biggest vulnerability moments with is each other. Yes, Buck has vulnerable scenes with Maddie (but that's his sister), and both of them have vulnerable scenes with Bobby (but that's their father), but even those moments are outshined by just how deeply vulnerable Buck and Eddie are able to be with each other.

I could go on to list each and every moment Buck and Eddie have been vulnerable with each other and then found equal and reciprocated acceptance each and every time, but that's unnecessary because most of us already just flash-forwarded through all their scenes at light speed, so I don't need to tell you what you already know. But I think the sheer amount of times that Buck and Eddie have been vulnerable with each other in ways that are EXCLUSIVE to each other, is why a fuckton of us in this fandom are so down bad for them as a couple and will fight tooth and nail for them to get their happy ending together.

So, with that being said I'm interested to see where the rest of season 7 goes. Are we going to get some actual real moments of vulnerability between Eddie and Marisol (or Buck and *maybe* Tommy)? Or are they just going to remain surface level, never actually developing their relationship into anything worthwhile. And if what the endless amount of articles on Buddie keep saying is true, then it's Buck and Eddie who are going to keep being open and vulnerable with each other, getting closer, and seeing their relationship develop into new territory.