#while also smelling like darkness at 5 pm and seasonal affective disorder and tear stained cheeks
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the smell of chlorine makes me want to freely weep
#diaries of an ex swimmer i guess#how can a singular chemical solution smell of sunscreen and laughter and peeling skin and soft pretzels and a big warm towel#while also smelling like darkness at 5 pm and seasonal affective disorder and tear stained cheeks#and the clank of gear against the locker room floor and goggles that are just a pinch too tight#but also smelling like sweat and aching and loving and living. a smell that makes the mouth water and the body shiver after a well won race#the water is both friend and foe; it is everything and it is nothing. when swimming i am simply me myself and i#god.#swimming#trauma? maybe? dunno lmfao#i miss it i really do#andy says shit#my crazy person trait is making fun of disney adults that buy that pirates of the caribbean candle that smells like the ride#but also being willing to drop hundred if someone was able to make a candle that smelled like the natatorium i swam at for most of my life
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