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deaththesyd · 3 years ago

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To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 3, Trapped

Finally done! I think I got a little carried away with the length, but I just couldn't stop writing! Hope y'all enjoy the final chapter! Also, per request @mytanuki-kun

Summary: Trapped in her domain, taking on what was left to fester.

The day he had been dreading finally arrived, and he was forced back into her proximity with no place to hide. He still tried though, but when that didn’t work and she approached him, signaling him out of the group, there was simply no way to excuse himself without merely delaying the inevitable. He had been acting a coward, but was he really willing to risk running away? Causing a scene in front of his fellow Akatsuki members? He looked away from her only to meet the daring eyes of his partner, Itachi, who surely knew that he had been contemplating an excuse that would keep the wrath he could feel rolling off her in waves from unleashing upon him. Another moment of weakness and he turned away, and was caught off guard by the side glance he received from Hidan of all people. Kisame was trapped, and the woman in front of him was growing impatient with his lack of a timely response. He had no choice but to face the consequences of his actions.

Following her nervously to her room, he was both thankful to be out of the spotlight and wished to be as far away from her as possible. Staying away from her had felt like hell, yet stepping into her room and watching as she furiously slammed the door closed, he felt as though he had found a fate much worse. Wanting to look away, save himself the torment of watching her, but still yearning to take any scrap of attention she could give won out easily. Running a frantic hand through her hair, she was unable to stand still, her normal fidgeting increased under the stress of her emotions, she began to pace in front of him, quietly fuming and gathering her thoughts. The moment of silence didn’t last long enough in his opinion. “What the hell is up with you?” She spoke loudly, obviously not expecting a response. “At first, I just thought maybe you needed space, that you were tired or something! But then a month goes by and you’re ‘busy’ on a mission! What a load of bull!”

Kisame remembered when he had requested that she be placed with another pair while he and Itachi traveled, the excuse had seemed reasonable enough. It seemed as though she hadn’t bought it.

“And now that you’re here, you’re absolutely silent! Nothing to say?” She growled, the accusation sounded more like she was daring him to say anything, rather than an opportunity to give an explanation. “Of course you don’t, just like you haven’t for the past few months!” The pent-up anger was unleashed, and all he could do was stand awkwardly, gritting his teeth and wishing he wasn’t the one who caused all of this to happen in the first place. Even when she was venting her anger at him, pacing back and forth frantically, she was the one who made his heart ache with longing. “I thought we were friends! I thou-”

“We were!” He broke in, but he realized his mistake when she paused in her movements and turned to look at him helplessly before her anger masked the pain.

“Were?” She shrieked, “What the he-”

“Are! I meant are!” He cut her off to correct his mistake,” God, Woman, obviously, I didn’t-”

“Guess I’m just an irrational woman then,” she hissed, cutting him off in return.

Glaring down at her, his frustration was met with a fiery challenge that came from her own gaze.

But she turned away first, most likely to hide the tears that had collected along her waterline. He was glad she had turned away at that moment because seeing her cry because of him twisted his expression in a way he couldn’t hide. When she spoke again, if he hadn't seen her tears before, he would have known she was crying by the slight waver in her voice. “If we’re friends, why have you been avoiding me?” It sounded like she was trying to sound angry, but all he could hear was her defeated tone and the way she struggled to steady her voice.

“I haven’t, I was busy with a mission,” he tried to dig into the lie, but he already knew it was a lost cause.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” She muttered, still cowering away, still trying to hide the tears that blurred her vision.

She wasn’t, he knew that, yet he kept his mouth shut.

“Am I just annoying?” She tried, pausing a breath to wait for a response, when he still didn’t say anything she continued, “Am I too emotional? Too hard to put up with, too needy? I’m not fun enough, or maybe I’m too loud, quiet? Am I too soft? So weak you can’t stand to be around me anymore?” Her emotion-filled voice rose with every new insecurity she listed and it didn’t seem like she was going to stop anytime soon. “You always have to take care of me, I’m sure it gets old, right? Spending your earnings on extra food, clothes, and supplies. Needing to break so often because a useless civilian like me can't keep walking day and night on a mission like a super-strong ninja like you. Giving up your own comfort so that I’m warm, throwing yourself in front of harm's way because I wouldn’t be able to survive even the wimpiest jutsu, wasting your energy on reassuring me that things are fine even when you’re fighting, it’s all too much and it’s all my fault.” Somewhere along the line, it seemed as though she wasn’t mad at him anymore, and the guilt hit full force when she turned to blaming herself.

“That’s not it,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, and she finally looked at him, angry tears running down her face. He could hear the scraping in his mouth from the amount of pressure he applied as he used all his strength to keep his face guarded and impassive.

“Then what is it about me that made you leave!?” She yelled, and he didn’t think about the words that came out in response.

“I can’t have you!” He yelled back, and suddenly the electric air that had crackled around them since the yelling had begun was no longer present. What had her tears dragged from him?

Raising his voice at her had been his last intention, right next to confessing his feelings, and he regretted it as she stepped back and pressed back against the door looking up at him in shocked bewilderment. The mix of her eyes on him, and his embarrassment at his loss of control made him feel like a pit opened in his stomach, and heat rushed up his neck as if to choke him. Right at that moment, he wished it would. Scaring her away wasn’t what he planned on doing, but for a second he feared that was what he had done. The initial shock wore off quickly though, and against the backdrop of tear tracks still fresh and glistening, her eyes became determined.

Pushing off from her spot against the door she took only a small step forward, but he stepped away, fearing what the look in her eyes meant. His whole life he had been a predator, but caught in her gaze he felt unsure if he was really the one to fear. Again she moved closer, and in response, he did the opposite. “What do you mean by that?” She asked quietly, once again closing the distance, and pushing him further away. “What do you mean you ‘can’t have me’?” She pressed, voice firm, her tone no longer angry. He wanted her to go back to being angry, that was better than the shame he felt now. He felt cornered, and when he ran out of space for retreat, the backs of his knees bent, forcing him to sit on her bed. Even with him sitting, she was just barely taller than him, yet he felt so small as she seemed to leer over him, blocking his exit. “Kisame,” she urged expectantly, “Tell me.”

He couldn’t break eye contact, not under this pressure, and the red puffy skin around her eyes was what made him give in. He had already said the worst thing possible, there was nothing else he could add to make her more disgusted. But was she really that disgusted if she could stand to be so close? The tiniest bit of hope managed to worm itself into his thoughts, and he couldn’t squash it when she looked at him so patiently. A lump had formed in his throat without him noticing and he gulped it down before he answered. “I can’t-” he started, then rethought, “I mean-” he struggled, not knowing how to tell her she was an unobtainable beauty for a murderous monster like him, that he was a subhuman beast that couldn’t ever hope to have her held in his arms, that she was meant for someone that was normal, and better looking, that he had spent the entirety of his life knowing that he was unlovable and that he was stupid enough to fall for her anyway. There were so many words that could have worked, but he couldn’t string together a complete sentence under the stifling atmosphere. The smallest part of him hoped she would give up on getting him to say anything, that she would give him some pity, but the rest of him felt this moment was a worthy punishment for the stupid desire he still had to hold her heart as she already did his.

So focussed on his sputtering attempts at supplying an answer, he jolted when her hand cupped his cheek, and he froze when she gently brushed her thumb along a gill slit. His eyes probably bugged out of his head in disbelief, but her own was glossed over in pensive thought. He didn’t dare move, and his head should have been spinning with thoughts, but instead, it was blank, nothing but the gentle warmth of her touching his face seemed to register. She spoke slowly, not meeting his questioning eyes, her thumb still rubbing back and forth along his cheek, “This was all because…” She focussed on him again, and he had no clue how he hadn’t seen the tears starting once again, “You have feelings for me?” Absolutely dumbfounded, he couldn’t speak, focussed on her teary gaze, he simply nodded. And then he was knocked backward.

It happened so fast, it took him a moment to process it all. The first thing he felt was the wet that seeped through his shirt, followed by the warmth of the sobbing woman shoving herself into him, fisting fabric as she buried her sobs into his chest. Another moment of half laying on her bed with her sprawled on top of him and he felt his arms wrap around her, gently, unsure if he should, if he was allowed, but she didn’t protest, and he felt too greedy to restrain himself. They lay there for what seemed like forever, but he still couldn’t find any words that were worth saying, and she was preoccupied with drenching his shirt. What possessed him, he had no clue, but one arm slid up her back and a hand began to comb through her hair carefully. She didn’t protest, and he momentarily noted that it was the only time she hadn’t when he touched her hair. It was soft, the tangles that caught on his fingers pulled apart without resistance, and if he focused, he could faintly smell the scent of her shampoo. It was nice, the sweet fragrance fit her. He felt creepy sniffing her hair like an animal, so he turned his head away from the tempting smell. The longer he played with her hair, the more her crying died down, until she stopped. The silence continued, only broken by her deep breaths as she tried to regain some composure. His hand still resting on her back began to rub firm circles in a way that felt natural. Once again, she either didn’t mind, or she simply lacked the energy to stop him, but once he started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Especially not when the grip on his shirt lessened and she relaxed her tense muscles.

“You’re so stupid,” she muttered, and it hurt, but it felt right to finally hear her rejection. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop his greedy hands from taking what they could. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t have you’?” She laughed humorlessly, and he was confused, didn’t she know? Ripping his hands away the moment they were met with resistance, he looked at her as she pressed up from her position on his chest. “You already have me,” she said, her voice gentle and reassuring, as she moved to hover over him, repositioning herself, before lowering herself to press her lips to his. Kisame had been kissed before, he wasn’t completely inexperienced, but the soft press of her lips to his was enough to make him forget to respond, and by the time he caught up with what had happened, they were gone. Caught off guard once again, he hadn’t closed his eyes, and he saw her eyes flutter open as she put space between them again, shifting her weight to tuck her hair behind her ear as she leaned over him, stunning him with the affection clear in her adoring gaze. “You’ve had me this whole time.”

It felt so unreal, all of his actions couldn’t have been his, yet who else’s could they have been? Greedy hands pulled her down, needy mouth pressed against hers, eliciting sighs that he wasn’t ready to accept were caused by him, running his hand through her silky locks again, taking advantage of the high chance that this would never happen again. But it did, they had to come up for air, but almost immediately she was panting against his lips, trying to force her tongue in between his sharp teeth, and how could he deny her? One of her hands tugged on his hair, while the other was too busy supporting her to join, an issue he fixed by pulling her into the center of his chest. Her technique was rusty, but the longer their kiss held, the more easily she could pull groans from him, her now free hand cupping his jaw for a better angle. What brought him back into reality was the heat that was beginning to gather in his groin, and he wasn’t about to push his luck. Holding her back caused her to whine, but she instead shifted her attention to his neck, peppering it with fluttery kisses, they tickled and he felt her shake as a laugh rumbled through his chest.

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” He asked, making her huff as she halted her affections to prop herself up on his chest to glare at him sternly.

“That can wait, first you have to deal with the consequences of your actions,” she instructed.

“And what might those be?” He asked, feeling uneasy at the threat in her words. She may return his feelings, but up to now, he had acted so unforgivably.

The evil smirk she attempted to pull off held only a fraction of a second before it softened and she pressed a gentle peck on his forehead, and another just above his brow, then along the side of his face, lips fluttering down till they met the corner of his own. “You just have to stay here while I smother you in my kisses,” she said before she began the cycle of kisses again along the other half of his face. A disbelieving breath of laughter left his gasping lips, it didn’t feel real at all, even as her lips trailed down to his collar and began to leave sloppy open-mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin, he had to be dreaming. His breath hitched as she found a sweet spot and she applied suction, swirling her tongue along what was sure to be a bruised purple later. The distraction that her promise had given him ended as her ministrations caused him to be reminded of a quickly rising issue.

Turning his head away from her he managed to sputter out a plea for her to stop. Reluctantly, she did, looking confusedly at him. “Too much?” She asked, trying to get him to meet her eyes, then more worriedly, “Was that not okay?”

Trying to reign in his breathing and slow his racing heart rate was taking more effort than it should’ve, but he forced himself to look at her, simultaneously appreciating the beauty that hovered above him, and cursing himself for making her think he didn’t want everything she could give. “Too much,” he confirmed, making her relax a tad bit, “It’s just a lot to handle all at once.” Giving him an understanding look she pressed off of him, moving to sit on the bed next to him. Feeling as though that was her taking his words as a cue to leave, he frantically sat up as well, ready to reach for her should she get up from the bed, but his fear of rejection was unfounded as she placed a calming hand just above his knee. Her warm touch grounded him and he forced himself to calm down. Funny as it was, the space she gave allowed him time to process what had happened without the near suffocating amount of feelings being fed into. Probably feeling similarly, she sighed in content, keeping her space, staying mostly quiet, but she never took her hand away from him as he took advantage of the pause in activity to think.

Now knowing his choice to try and save himself from the pain of being around her was one of the least helpful ways to handle his emotions, and that all along she had craved him in the same way, he felt like the biggest fool. Of course, he had noticed some of the more odd things she did around him, like how she seemed to be flustered by his touch, but he had always taken that as her disguising her disgust, not that the addictive warmth that lingered made her just as excited as him. The laugh he worked so hard to hear, the one that ripped snorts and unfeminine seal noises from her, the one that seemed to infect him with an unstoppable need to laugh as well, was music to his ears as his rough throaty chuckles were to hers. All the times he had caught her staring, it wasn’t because she had simply spaced out, nor was it because she was appreciating someone else’s looks, she had been admiring him. The anger and worry he gave her when he took a risk in battle were more than her fretting over him more because she thought he wasn’t strong enough, she chastised him because she couldn’t stand to see him get hurt while protecting her. Within only a few moments of collecting his thoughts and putting things together, it was so obvious now how his self-doubt had clouded his ability to see what was clear as day to everyone around him. She really had been transparent about her feelings this entire time, and he had simply waved them away, trapped in his self-pity.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Whipping her head to look at him, taken aback, she must not have understood what he was apologizing for. He didn’t let her worry a second longer, as he gently held her chin and lifted her lips to meet him for a soft kiss. It wasn’t long, only a few seconds, but this one eased her more than any of the ones before. Pulling away, he was gifted the sight of her eyelids slowly opening, revealing expectant eyes. Kisame hoped that was a common thing he was going to be able to see from now on. “I shouldn’t have run away from you like that, I was just…” He trailed off as he strained to admit the word he knew was right. Shifting closer, her other hand reached for the closest of his, encouraging him to continue. No matter what he said, she wasn’t going anywhere. Still ashamed, he finished, “A coward. Being around you always felt so bittersweet, it felt so good when you laughed at my jokes and fed into my antics, but knowing that I wasn’t worth anything more than someone to pass the time with to you was torture.”

Stupid as he felt confessing to her, she didn’t laugh, just leaned her head into his shoulder, squeezing affectionately his leg. He continued, needing to let her know why he had ever allowed himself to hurt her. “I’ve spent my life being nothing more than a monstrous weapon, even in a group like the Akatsuki, my appearance still stands out, and not in a good way.” Feeling her nuzzle into his arm, her way of showing her disagreement, he felt nothing but warm affection for her, thankful she was a rare outlier from the rest of the world. “Allowing myself to consider that I had a chance with someone as amazing as you hurt more every time I remembered just how much of a freak I am,” he chuckled when he heard her whine in response, but she didn’t interrupt further. “Eventually everything you did just made me upset that you couldn’t feel the same way, and I made up my mind to distance myself.” Getting his built-up feelings off his chest felt rather therapeutic. Having her pressed against him, entwining their hands made all of his pent-up worries ebb away.

“Promise that from now on you’ll talk to me instead of leaving me stressed and confused?” She pleaded when he stayed silent.

Leaning down to indulgently breathe in her scent as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, he promised.

Staying like that for a while, they simply took in everything that had happened in the quiet. At least that was what he was doing until she started giggling to herself. “What’s so funny?” He spoke into her hair, vibrating along with her cute laughter.

“Is that why you were so insistent that I stopped?” She said through her soft laughing. Startled, he pulled away and looked down at his lap, seeing the almost forgotten product of his earlier arousal outlined clearer than normal. Distracted by all the emotional stuff he hadn’t realized how obvious his need had become. Heat washed over his entire body in embarrassment as he sputtered an apology. Still giggling the whole time, his mortification only made her laugh harder. Despite his efforts to escape her hold, she pressed herself close once again, choking out apologies of her own. “It’s alright, I’m probably a mess down there too,” she admitted, making him choke on air, causing her to laugh even harder. The deepening blush that took over his face began to make him sweat, but he tried to relax. Clearly, she wasn’t upset. Recovering from her little giggling fit, she looked up at him shyly smiling. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, so I’m glad you stopped me,” she expressed, but with more confidence, she added, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to eventually.”

Just when he thought his body temperature couldn’t be raised further. He chuckled though, “I wouldn’t mind if you never were, as long as I can hold you,” he swore sincerely, making her snort, “But I look forward to the day when you’d let me take care of the mess I’ve made.” He teased, making her squeal before laughing again, hiding her face against his arm. As cute as her reaction was, his arousal was becoming too distracting. “I should go take care of this though,” He said reluctantly, making her shove away from him, ushering him towards the door.

“Go do that, you know where to find me when you’re done anyway,” she said, using her now free hands to fix her hair. He couldn’t resist reaching back to muss it back up before he left, laughing at her upset whine.

If only he had known of the teasing he would get from his fellow Akatsuki members who had heard the heated conversation loud and clear through the thin walls, he would have stayed and delayed the inevitable. But even though he was relentlessly teased, especially after Hidan noticed the stirring in his pants, at least he had her to look forward to from now on.

#kisame #kisame x reader #kinda heated #not too mature tho #tiniest mention of #itachi #and #hidan #Changed the title cause I hated it

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keichanz · 4 years ago

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Mistake

kay so i really don't care if some of this doesn't make sense because this is the first thing i've written in a while that i don't absolutely hate. well this version at least. ending up scraping the first draft because it just seemed wrong and went in a different direction. im glad i did cause im happy with it.

anyway i realize that this may not get much feedback because i took a different approach to it, aka the entire pov is from an OC but i can't bring myself to care too much because i wrote this purely for myself. got inspired, started writing, and i actually liked the content i was writing. end of.

btw the oc doesn't refer to inuyasha as a half-demon because he's unaware he is one and i was too lazy to delve into those waters anyhow.

also for the sake of this oneshot pls dont look too closely at the ranks of diplomat and ambassador. i was too lazy to put much research regarding positions of power so just...go with it.

inspired by @stillunderyourbed's art that can be found here.

It was…quaint. Smaller than what he'd expected. The housing structures looked subpar, there didn't appear to be any wooden walkways, and he could detect the distinct odor or fish in the air with hints of manure. There even seemed to be a perpetual dust cloud hovering at about waist high, thickening from the numerous carts, wagons, horses, and villagers kicking up dirt as they went about their daily lives. Already he felt like there was a layer of dust caked on the inside of his lungs and he wasn't even inside yet.

All in all, it was your typical countryside village, home to simple folk that made a living off of fishing, farming, and trade. The diplomat sneered in disgust. For being the rumored home of the creature strong enough to destroy the despicable Naraku, the village was…less than impressive. And to say that he was underwhelmed would be a vast understatement.

Shifting atop his mount, a chestnut gelding that had been his faithful companion for the last four years, Takeji frowned as he surveyed the sight before him. It was early afternoon, so men were out working in the fields, women were chatting amongst themselves as they laundered clothing at the river, and children were running about, playing and laughing while dogs barked at their heels. He could see the great red torii gate and the stone staircase that led to the shrine and he could hardly refrain from rolling his eyes.

The village was obviously poor, possibly even teetering on the edge of poverty, and instead of feeding themselves for a good long while, they decided to construct that monstrosity. He would never understand the minds of simple common folk. Daft. All of them.

Barely keeping himself from scowling, Takeji reluctantly climbed off his mount and forced himself to move forward into the pathetic excuse for a village. Already he knew he would have to burn his expensive attire; there would be no getting the dust and stench out of it after his ghastly visit. A visit he had not wanted to make, but being a highly revered and prestigious diplomat, it was his duty to travel to far off lands in hopes of establishing a profitable relationship that would ultimately benefit his homeland.

Although, looking around and fighting against the urge to retch at both the nauseating stench and the mere sight of all the unwashed villagers milling around, Takeji wondered not for the first time why he even bothered to accept this task. True, it was said the slayer of Naraku did hail from here, but surely having his homeland associated with this hovel would garner nothing but loss. So why had he agreed to come?

Oh, yes, he mused, grimacing as he stepped over a large manure pile right in the middle of the road. Because apparently, being all chummy with the nation's hero will allow us to have him at our beck and call, because who doesn't want a powerful demon capable of slaying the most evil demon in all of existence as an intimidating presence during negotiations, and let's not forget he alone would be equal to about one hundred soldiers in battle.

Rolling his eyes, Takeji tied his mount to a hitching post, withdrew his satchel with all the necessary paperwork, and set about finding this Inuyasha fellow. He'd been told the demon wore scarlet robes, carried a sword at his hip, and had white hair so no doubt he would stick out like a sore thumb amongst the droll browns and grays of the common folk, which suited him just fine. The sooner he was done, the sooner he could leave because there was no way he was staying even a second more in this village than he had to. Even if the next inn was hours away, he'd make the journey; the inn here was probably as unclean and riddled with bed bugs or something. Ugh. How vile.

Shrugging the satchel over his shoulder, Takeji bit back a groan, sighed, and hadn't even made it a single step before the sound of screaming froze him in his tracks. He gasped and immediately started looking for the danger, body tense, preparing to hop back onto his steed lightning fast and make a hasty getaway.

But as he looked around with wide eyes and a frantically beating heart, Takeji couldn't help but notice that he was the only one that appeared to have heard the sound of terror. The villagers were just continuing to go about their day, calm as you please, either severely deaf or completely uncaring. Takeji was beginning to wonder if he was perhaps hearing things when it happened again, a high-pitched sound that he realized with dread belonged to a child.

Takeji gaped. A child was in danger and nobody cared?! What kind of village was this?! Another shriek pierced the air, and Takeji made a decision. Very well; if these imbeciles weren't going to do anything about it, then he himself would see to the danger. While by no means a swordsman or warrior, he did have some weapons training he could fall back on for this precise reason. Traveling alone was dangerous, and you never knew what you would encounter.

Resolved, the diplomat set his jaw, unsheathed the dagger at his waist, and darted toward the direction the screams were coming from. He meandered between houses, hoped over lazing dogs, dodged startled villagers in his path, and he came into a small clearing by the forest's edge. The sight that greeted him was…not what he expected.

Coming up short, Takeji watched with a befuddled frown as one child chased around two other, slightly older looking children. One might think they were playing a game of sorts, and the diplomat started to believe that was indeed the case…until the one doing the chasing, clad in red, suddenly jumped high into the air, over the heads of the other two children, and landed before them with hands raised.

Hands, Takeji noticed with growing dread and disgust, tipped with claws on each finger and he quickly realized what exactly was happening. That wicked little demon brat, that creature was toying with those helpless children! It was keeping them trapped, preventing them from running away by leaping over their heads and blocking their route of escape! They screamed, the demon child laughed, and so potent was his fury, so enraged was he for the fact that the villagers apparently did not care about what was happening right beneath their noses, Takeji failed to notice the wide smiles on all three of the young one's faces. The blood pounding in his ears prevented him from hearing the gleeful giggles as the two human kids scrambled away from the one clad in red, and without another thought, Takeji moved.

"Run, children!" Takeji ordered as he hurled himself into the clearing, dagger raised as he charged toward the demon brat with a baleful glare. "I will take care of his filthy animal!"

All three children froze in place, eyes wide as Takeji inserted himself between the two human children - twin girls, he idly noted - and the demon spawn that dared raised its claws toward them. The brat stared up at him with big brown eyes and it - she - actually looked confused. Takeji scowled. He would not fall for such a ploy.

"I will not allow you to harm them," he spat and pointed his dagger at her. The child blinked at him and then looked behind him at the two girls who still had not taken the chance to flee. In shock, perhaps? Stunned? No matter; they were safe, so long as he stood between them and the threat.

The demon child made a face and started to walk around him, completely disregarding the weapon trained on her, but Takeji shifted and stopped her once more. He heard the two behind him whispering as the spawn looked up at him once again, this time frowning at him with narrowed eyes. And was that a growl he heard? He snorted. Was she actually trying to appear threatening? Pathetic.

Scowling, Takeji lifted a foot, placed it on her stomach, and shoved. The demon gasped as she stumbled back and then landed on her behind with a small grunt. He heard a gasp from behind him, urgent whispering, and then hurried scrambling. A glance over his shoulder told him they'd finally gotten wise and ran away. He nodded. Good. Now he could deal with this vermin without innocent eyes to bear witness.

But as he stared down at the pathetic sight before him, Takeji wondered maybe if such measures would even be necessary. The beast was still lying where she had fallen and was staring up at him with wide eyes brimming with…wait. What? Were those tears? Oh, you have got to be joking.

Rolling his eyes, the diplomat scoffed at the pathetic play for mercy and careless waved his dagger at her. The child actually flinched and followed the blade with her gaze, wariness clear in her eyes. Well. It appeared her self-preservation instincts have finally kicked in.

"Cease your theatrics," Takeji drawled, unimpressed. "They do not fool me. Now lucky for you, demon spawn, the pathetic sight you project has made me decide to spare your life. Your tainted blood is not worthy enough to soil my blade, so I will say this only one and you would do well to heed this warning, beast."

Hardening his stare and curling his lip into a sneer, Takeji spat, "Leave this place at once and do not return. There is no place for the likes of you, an abomination that preys on helpless children. Now get out of my sight, afore I kill you on principle. Your vile presence disgusts me."

The child grunted and Takeji watched, stone faced, as she got to her feet. Then to his surprise the little demon balled her hands into fists at her sides and glared at him, but the effect was ruined by the tears he could clearly see brimming her eyes. He cocked a brow, unmoved. She sniffled once, twice, and then to his utter surprise and bafflement, her face suddenly crumbled, her lower lip trembled, and she promptly burst into loud tears before spinning on her heel and running away.

"P-Papaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Takeji frowned. Papa? Were the brat's kin nearby, then? Body tense and weapon raised, he waited, prepared to either fight or flee - because he wasn't a fool and knew when he was in over his head - but when no demons came bursting out of the tree line, Takeji slowly relaxed.

Bewildered and more than a little annoyed at the whole debacle - what a waste of time! - the diplomat scoffed in derision as he turned to watch the little demon brat scurry away. And then right at that exact moment, a figure donned in red dropped to the ground seemingly out of nowhere and Takeji felt a wave of relief sweep through him. Finally! This had to be his demon quarry.

Nodding, Takeji stepped forward and opened his mouth to call out a greeting—

And then froze in his tracks as the greeting abruptly died on his tongue. Because the little demon girl, the one he'd just pointed his weapon at and shoved to the ground, ran straight to the figure robed in red and Takeji could do naught but watch with a growing sense of horrified dread as the older demon knelt down to take the child into his arms.

All color promptly drained from his face and Takeji suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He glanced behind the pair and he was somehow not at all surprised to find the twin girls from earlier glaring at them and holding onto the skirts of their mother with a monk garbed in violet robes beside her. They too were staring at him in a not so friendly manner, but upon returning his gaze to the two demons, Takeji numbly thought that if looks could kill, he would surely be dead by now.

Because the demon robed in red - which was now unmistakably the child's father and none other than Inuyasha, the demon he'd come here for - was glaring absolute murder at him and it was obvious that he was. Not. Pleased.

Takeji swallowed and unconsciously backed up a step. With one small hand fisting her father's robes, the child had the other pointing an accusatory finger at him as she no doubt recited to him their earlier…ah, exchange. Inuyasha said nothing in response, but he didn't need to. The deep, nearly subsonic growl that erupted from his mouth, complete with fully bared fangs in a truly fearsome snarl, told him very clearly of his thoughts on his daughter's mistreatment by him.

Which, if Takeji had to guess, were not very Takeji-friendly. At all.

Somehow managing to fight against the urge to flee, Takeji swallowed hard as Inuyasha pushed to his feet and stalked toward him with that same murderous look on his face. Something told him, perhaps some deeply rooted self-preservation instinct, that if he even tried to run right then, it would not end well for him. So he remained where he was and tried valiantly to control the trembling in his body as he slowly, very slowly, tucked his dagger back from whence it came.

Inuyasha stopped in front of him and Takeji cleared his throat before attempting a placating smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything. "Ah…I assume you are…In—"

One second Takeji was staring into the scowling features of one pissed off dog demon. The next there was a bright flash of light and then he was staring at the business end of a very large and very sharp sword. With the tip just a hair's breadth away from his nose, Takeji gasped sharply and stumbled back a step out of instinct.

Sweet merciful heavens! How—?

"Usually I'd ask who the fuck you are," the demon growled, his eyes twin slits of baleful gold. "But honestly, I can't really bring myself to care enough to know the name of the asshole who threatened my daughter when she was doing nothing but playing with her friends."

Takeji blanched for the second time and he could actually feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He fucked up. Oh dear god he'd fucked up so bad—

"There's—there's been a misunderstanding," Takeji tried in a voice higher than usual, raising his hands up in what he hoped was a placating gesture as he eyed the very sharp point of that blade. "I—I admit I've made a grave mistake—"

"Shut the fuck up and tell me why I shouldn't gut you where you stand," Inuyasha hissed, lips feeling back off his fangs in another fierce snarl. With his ears pinned back and those golden eyes glaring absolute death at him, the demon made quite the menacing picture. Takeji had the brief, if a bit ludicrous thought, that perhaps the demon Naraku perished from the sheer animosity that was coming off of the silver-haired demon in waves.

Swallowing once, twice, Takeji realized that he only had his quick wit to get him out of his certain predicament. So bracing himself, he opened his mouth—

"He's from the continent, Inuyasha. You can't hurt him."

Startled hazel eyes swung toward the source of the voice but amber eyes stayed locked on their target, the only acknowledgment of the voice a flick of an ear.

The owner of the voice the human diplomat could only presume was the child's mother, as the child in question was standing behind her legs and was actually smirking at him. He frowned.

"You're from Shenshi," the woman remarked and Takeji swung his gaze back to her. "Right?"

Though her expression wasn't openly friendly, it wasn't exactly unfriendly either, however the human diplomat still felt he needed to tread carefully. Because while her face didn't betray anything, her stare was hard and her mouth had tightened into a thin, flat line. She had one hand on her daughter's head while the other clutched a longbow, and belatedly he realized she had a quiver of arrows slung across her back. He barely held in a flinch as he realized this was one of the demon's companions that had assisted in slaying Naraku, possibly the young woman in which Inuyasha held a more meaningful relationship.

A much more meaningful relationship, if the child currently glaring daggers at him was anything to go by since she was more or less living proof of it.

Wonderful. So he'd gone and threatened the only child of two of the most powerful beings in Japan. Clearly he'd stepped over the wrong grave and pissed somebody off.

Clearing his throat and aiming a strained smile toward the woman who was still awaiting his reply, Takeji nodded once. "Ah, y-yes, my lady. I'm—"

"The diplomat Ambassador Sharaku sent to convince Inuyasha to join his ranks so he'd have the support and protection of 'The Great Slayer of Naraku.'" The woman raised a delicate brow at him. "How am I doing so far?"

Takeji had the good grace to look a mite sheepish. "Ah…well—"

"You can't kill him, Inuyasha," she repeated and Takeji thought she sounded disappointed. "If he goes missing, the ambassador will send his troops to find out what happened or if he returns injured, it could be taken as an insult and you can imagine what would happen after that. You would risk mine or Moroha's life like that, and you know it."

Inuyasha growled but said nothing to refute her words, so Takeji assumed he agreed.

"He threatened her, Kagome," the demon spat, inching the blade closer to his throat and Takeji flinched. "Called her a fucking animal, shoved her down, and waved a goddamn dagger in her face! You can't honestly expect me to let that—"

"Papa," the child - Moroha - suddenly said, successfully stalling her father's angry tirade. A quick glance revealed the girl, still sticking close to her mother, was staring at the older demon with big brown eyes, bright with the threat of tears as she worried her bottom lip. And evidently the sight was enough to calm the raging storm of Inuyasha's fury because he grimaced, released a low growl, and then Takeji watched in stunned amazement as the massive sword suddenly transformed into a rusty katana before it was sheathed at his hip.

With a weapon no longer at his throat, Takeji could breathe a little easier and he released a breath he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding. But then he sucked it right back in when Inuyasha suddenly stepped in close and got in his face, a low, threatening growl leaking past rightly clenched teeth bared in another snarl. Golden eyes bore into his own, filled with a lethal warning that had the human male's back straightening and his blood to run cold in his veins.

"You listen carefully, asshole," Inuyasha hissed, glaring so heatedly it was a wonder Takeji didn't burst into flame. "Don't you dare think that my wife's words have any sort of sway over my decision to spare your pathetic life. I'm not scared of your weakling ambassador and I sure as hell ain't scared of his little human army. No, the only reason that I let you live is because I don't want my daughter, the one you foolishly threatened when she had done nothing wrong, to see me sully my hands with your disgusting blood when I reduce you to nothing more than a bloody smear on the ground."

Takeji paled and swallowed thickly. That particular image was…not pleasant.

Inuyasha watched the color drain from his face. Satisfied, he sneered before saying in a growl filled with sinister promise, "Now get the fuck outta my village and if you ever touch my daughter again, I'll gut you so fast you won't even have time to fucking scream."

Then with that, Inuyasha leveled him with one last dark scowl before spinning on his heel and stalking away, a clear dismissal. Neither mother nor daughter even spared the frozen human male a glance as Inuyasha paused to pick his daughter up into his arms before striding away, his wife close to one side and his friends on the other.

From over his shoulder, Takeji could only watch in a mixture of shock and befuddlement as the little demon girl named Moroha smirked and then stuck her tongue out at him, safe and sound in her father's arms.

Left standing in a state of numb bewilderment, Takeji blinked, looked down at himself, and had the passing thought that it was a very good thing he'd decided to wear brown trousers that day.

#mistake #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha #inukag #moroha #oneshot #keizfanfiction #papayasha to the rescuuuuue #i deliberately did not tag anybody in this and no i will not say why #and yes i did use sharaku because it sounds like naraku #listen dont fuck with his wife or kid #you will die #if you dont understand that last sentence #tough shit im not explaining it lmao

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xxdragonwriterxx · 4 years ago

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🔥Wings of Freedom (Part 1)🔥

A/N: FINALLY DONE WITH FINALS!!! Thank you everyone for being so patient and supportive while I’ve fought through the last few days of school, I really appreciate it. But I’m finally back now and with some new fics for you guys! Hope you enjoy, and stay safe out there! ❤️

Part 2 is here!

🐉 Song Recommendation: “Dear Fellow Traveller” By: Sea Wolf 🐉

~~~

Levi looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa in his lover’s office, reading a book, at the sound of (Y/N)’s pained groan. He found her trying to suppress a wince as pain shot up her spine, one of her hands reaching back to rub between her shoulder blades while she tried to focus on her work. Levi sighed. He knew she had injured herself somehow, either through training or on the last expedition, but she refused to tell him how or where she had gotten hurt. On top of that, she also refused to let him help her fix it, always batting his hands away and claiming she was fine. He knew she had a high pain tolerance, always had, but now he was getting annoyed with her. She just needed to shove down her pride and let him help her. She was human after all, she clearly wasn’t immune to pain.

Despite her obvious discomfort, (Y/N) continued to work diligently. It was rare that she was working later than him, but lately more work had been dumped on her desk per her request, her way of trying to help her superiors by lessening their load. Levi couldn’t help but feel pride swell in his chest as he watched her write. She was so hardworking, always trying to pitch in where she could. He knew she was tired, but she kept pushing herself to try to take some of the weight off the shoulders of her superiors, claiming they did way more than necessary and it should be no problem for her to help them out a little. She wasn’t even a superior officer, still only a cadet, despite her older age. It was that determination and willingness to take care of others and work hard that drew Levi to her in the first place. It was also what was about to give her a promotion to Squad Leader, one he knew she deserved as he watched her tackle the horde of papers in front of her.

Another wince of pain from her snapped him out of his thoughts and he frowned, the pride in his chest turning into concern. While he valued her work ethic, he sometimes condemned it, knowing she often failed to take care of herself in her efforts to take care of other people. Her hand was rubbing between her shoulder blades harder now, her face contorting into one of frustrated pain.

Making his decision, Levi stood up and slowly crept around behind her. He wished he could just walk up to her, bat her hand away and get to work on making her feel better, but aside from denying help from others, (Y/N) also had a slight fear of intimacy. She had always flinched or moved away when he touched her, and while she assured him it had nothing to do with him, Levi sometimes felt sick at the thought of her being uncomfortable with his touch. He had been warming her up to it, starting out with little things like brushing his fingers along her arm or holding her hand, but he had to take it slow. He had to be patient, otherwise she panicked.

(Y/N) was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t notice Levi come around until she felt a gentle brush on her arm. She tensed at first, but one look into those gorgeous silver eyes had her relaxing a bit.

“Hey Levi, I’m not keeping you up, am I? I’m almost done if you want to go to bed without me. You don’t have to stay in my office until I’m done, you can go back to your room whenever you want to.”

Levi shook his head. “You know I don’t sleep. And even if I did sleep, I wouldn’t be able to, knowing you were still working. Besides, I know you enjoy my company.”

(Y/N) smiled and chuckled at him. “Oh yes, you are just too irresistible, Levi. I think I would die right now if you left to go to sleep.”

Levi flashed her one of his rare smiles, just a subtle quirk of his lips, but (Y/N) beamed at him, making his heart beat like a drum for her. She had always had that effect on him, her smiles, laugh, and sparkling eyes scrambling his insides and setting his nerves on fire. Gods he loved this woman. It had taken him a long ass time to see it that way, needing both Erwin, Hanji, and a night of free-flowing alcohol to get him to admit it, but he did.

He was willing to go slow for her, to move at the pace she was comfortable with, but he couldn’t wait until she would let him worship her body in the way he knew she deserved. He couldn’t wait until she would let him cuddle her close, run his fingers through her hair, kiss her until she was out of breath. He could feel his body tingling at the thought and forced himself to behave, reeling in his desire to kiss her senseless as he ran his hands down her back and over her sides.

“Well we can’t have that now can we?” Levi purred. “If you need me so much, I guess I have no choice but to stay here.”

(Y/N) hummed in response and turned back to the paperwork on her desk, not paying attention to Levi as he moved up behind her, his fingers gently trailing over the crest of her shoulder. She tensed again and Levi immediately shoved down the feelings of hurt that surfaced. He had no right to feel upset, she obviously just had a fear of intimacy, and he had to respect that.

“Levi?”

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Helping. If I’m going to stay here, I might as well be useful.”

Levi paused to make sure she wouldn’t push him away, wanting nothing more than for her to be completely comfortable, before flattening his hand a little, allowing his touch to expand from just the tips of his fingers to the edge of his palm. She was still tense, but she didn’t move to push him away, instead going back to the papers in front of her, albeit working at a much slower pace now.

“Are you okay with this?” Levi asked softly, using his thumb to gently rub her shoulder.

(Y/N)’s heart melted. This man was so perfect. She knew it was hard on him, seeing her flinch away from him when he tried to touch her, knew he struggled with his self esteem, especially when all his life people have been afraid of him, only seeing him as a cold-hearted killing machine. She just couldn’t help it, her background rising up to tear at her confidence. She knew he was nothing like the people she used to live with, but that didn’t change the fact that she felt nervous whenever his skin made contact with hers. She wished so desperately that she could embrace his somewhat limited affection without pause. She wished she could accept his advances and hold him close while he stroked her hair or her back. She wanted all of those things, yearned for them, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not yet, at least.

“Levi, what’re you doing?” (Y/N) asked again, taking a deep shuddering breath as she shoved the memories of pain and horror to the back of her mind.

She hated it but she couldn’t help the slight sigh of relief she felt when he took in the underlying meaning of her words and lifted his hand off of her. Then she felt horrible. She bowed her head and felt the tears surface. She knew he deserved to know, she wanted to tell him so badly why she was so skittish around him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She knew it was selfish but she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him and she just knew that when he found out, there would be no stopping him from leaving her immediately. He would never want to be around her ever again if he discovered the real (Y/N). The monster. The freak.

“Hey, I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, I just noticed that your back was killing you, so I wanted to give you a massage to release the tension. Please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Levi said, his words only wrenching her heart more. He really didn’t deserve this, just as she didn’t deserve him.

“I’m not scared of you, Levi, I promise. I’m crying because I know you’re just trying to be nice and comfort me and make me feel good but I still can’t get over my stupid issues with touch and it’s killing me not to be able to feel you against me without freaking out. You’re always so kind to me, so gentle, so sweet, and I’m never able to reward you for being patient and amazing. I’m so sorry, Levi.”

“Look at me, (Y/N),” Levi said, the command in his voice making her meet his gaze despite the urge to look anywhere but at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you're trying, and that’s good enough for me. I will go at any pace you are comfortable with, alright? I just wanted to make sure you felt okay. We have that expedition coming up and the last thing I want is for you to get killed out there because your back is fucked up.”

(Y/N) sniffled and nodded at him, a watery smile making its way to her face as she looked at the man she loved more than anything. They had only been together for six months, but she already knew that this man was perfect for her. He had been nothing but the best, patiently waiting for her to get comfortable. Levi nodded once and stared at her for a moment longer, concern swirling in his grey hues, before he stood and went back to reading his book on the couch.

(Y/N) went back to her work, but she made a silent promise to both Levi and herself that she would try harder, for both of them, to get over the horrors of her past. They both deserved it, and she wanted it more than anything. Even if it meant divulging her secret, she would do it for them.

______________________________

(Y/N) could feel Levi’s eyes on her as she winced again, forcing down the urge to rub her back. She had still been in obvious pain when she had woken up that morning, her back hunched over as she tried to arch away from the aching in between her shoulder blades, so much so that Levi had tried to bench her from the mission. (Y/N) had put her foot down on that one, arguing with him all the way out to the stable, until he had finally dropped it as she mounted her horse.

The pain was a problem, she knew that, but she also knew that this mission was going to require all hands on deck. Apparently, some more advanced abnormals had been spotted outside of the gates, ones that knew how to climb, and so they were tasked with going out to find and kill them if necessary. She knew Hanji wanted to study them, but the safety of the other soldiers would have to come first. It had even been announced that the Garrison would be accompanying them, doubling their numbers to increase their chances of success. It was all bullshit to (Y/N), the Garrison soldiers didn’t know how to really fight, having spent their whole lives pissing themselves behind the walls while the Survey Corps went outside to fight for humanity, but she couldn’t argue with the Prime Commander.

They were lined up in front of the gate, waiting for the signal to move out, and she just knew Levi was watching her like a hawk as another pang of heat stabbing her back had her biting her lip. Maybe she shouldn’t have come. It would’ve killed her to stay behind as her comrades fought and died for their cause without her, but now she wondered if that would’ve been a better plan. Not only was the pain getting nearly intolerable, she just knew that Levi would be watching out for her the entire time, at least, more than usual, and it was not a good idea for Humanity’s Strongest to be distracted on an expedition.

She turned around and found his eyes on her just as she had thought, the silver hues narrowed on her dangerously. She knew that look. It was a look that said ‘if you die, I’ll kill you.’ Sending her own glare back, she mouthed, ‘I’m fine,’ before turning back to face the front.

She could still feel his eyes on her but as the bell tolled above them, she reset her focus on the formation in front of her, steeling her nerves against the dangers outside the walls. As soon as the gate was fully lifted, the bell tolls clanging to a stop, Erwin let out a bellowing war cry and charged out into the expansive fields beyond the walls, the men and women behind him letting out similar yells as they followed their Commander. (Y/N) did the same, her stunning liver chestnut mare, Zephyr, rearing up at (Y/N)’s yell, and charging forward. The galloping movement immediately sent bolts of white hot pain up her spine but she ignored it, gritting her teeth and kicking her horse into a faster gallop.

Clearing the gate, (Y/N) immediately directed her horse to the right flank, breaking off with the rest of her squad, her Squad Leader, Hanji, leading the charge in front of them with bright eyes searching for the abnormal titans. (Y/N) rolled her eyes affectionately at her Squad Leader’s antics, a small smile making its way to her face at the thought of the energetic brunette bouncing around her titan experiments while Levi grumbled in annoyance about her getting eaten one day.

Suddenly, Zephyr gave a little crow hop, bouncing over a small log in the field instead of going around it like (Y/N) had expected. Normally, she didn’t mind it too much, sometimes grunting in annoyance at her mare being stubborn but being otherwise unaffected. But this time, the movement caused her to gasp in pain, feeling as if she had just been burned between her shoulders. She saw her surrounding squad members give her odd looks and Hanji even turned with a raised eyebrow to check that she was alright, but she waved them off. She could handle this, she had handled it before, she could handle it now. Anger washed through her system at the stubbornness of her body. She hated how it demanded from her so often, striking bolts of pain into her back every time she refused to let go for more than a few days at a time. She would’ve done so a few days ago, but she had been so busy, she hadn’t had time and now her body hurt like a bitch, screaming at her to just let go.

Ignoring the urge to either give herself what she wanted or claw her own back out, (Y/N) clenched her jaw so tight her teeth hurt and continued forward, hoping for the first time in her life for some titans to show up so she could distract herself from this pain with some well placed blows to the nape. She was at least grateful for the fact that Levi was stationed on the other side of the formation, too far away to focus on her.

Almost as if someone was listening to her thoughts, a red flare went off to their left. Hanji immediately jerked her head up and shouted out orders, lifting her own flare to shoot it into the sky. (Y/N) braced herself, her hand coming back to rest on the handle of her blade despite the lack of visual, waiting for the ugly beasts to show their faces.

She felt them before she saw them, their heavy footfalls making the ground shake as they got nearer. She felt her horse tense beneath her, but a few cooing words had her mare relaxing again, focusing on doing her job. Hanji’s squad was reaching the edge of the forest when the titans finally showed themselves, their wide grins and sparkling eyes spelling out a violent death for all of them as the beasts broke into a run, headed straight for the group of soldiers. The Garrison soldiers around her gasped in fear, their bodies tensing to the point of some of them making their horses frustrated, the animals snorting and pinning their ears at the increased pressure on their flanks.

(Y/N) shot them reassuring looks despite her annoyance at their inexperience, trying to be sensitive to their fear. It was one of the very few times they had ever been outside the walls after all. Pulling her swords from their sheathes, (Y/N) waited for the signal from Hanji, watching as the man-eating monsters got closer and closer, their mouths gaping open in anticipation.

When the beasts were close enough for them to practically feel their hot breath, Hanji gave the signal and the entire squad scattered immediately. The Garrison soldiers reacted slower but followed Hanji’s team, not arguing for once as they fought to avoid being ripped to shreds. Three Garrison soldiers rode on either side of (Y/N) as she galloped towards one of the titans and leaped from her horse, swords poised to strike. The Garrison soldiers stayed on the ground as was part of the plan, and let (Y/N) shoot her hooks into the titan, slicing the beast while it was focused on trying to eat the soldiers below. The giant died with a crash, its body already steaming by the time it hit the ground. (Y/N) landed on the titan’s shoulders, hissing as the hot steam bit her skin, and whistled for her horse.

“Good work, you three,” (Y/N) said as she remounted Zephyr, riding back up to the men flanking her. “If we keep doing that, everything will be fine.”

(Y/N) knew she was lying. Anything could happen on an expedition that could lead to their unexpected deaths, but as the men nodded, a little bit of color coming back into their paled faces, she knew it was worth it to lie. If she could keep their confidence up, their mission would have a higher chance of success.

Looking around, (Y/N) spotted the rest of Hanji’s squad joining back together, the three titans lying dead on the ground, the steam rising into the air as they disintegrated. Nodding to the Garrison soldiers around her, (Y/N) kicked her horse forward and rejoined the group.

“Any sign of the climbing ones yet?” (Y/N) asked, riding up beside Hanji. Her Squad Leader shook her head, a slight look of disappointment on her face.

“Not yet, but we’re still watching. Keep an eye out for black flares.”

“Yes, Captain,” (Y/N) said, slowing Zephyr down again to rejoin her proper formation placement.

The mission continued on surprisingly smoothly, titans coming and going but only some managing to get past the other legions to reach Hanji’s squad. The ones that did get through the ranks were easily slaughtered, the soldiers remaining in their tight knit formation as much as possible. By the time they were rounding the forest, aiming to rejoin the other two groups, (Y/N) was starting to lose control. While killing the titans provided her a good distraction, flying into the air on her ODM gear just made the pain in her back worse, her body screaming at her with every galloping step. Spots were starting to form in her vision, and she knew something bad would happen if she didn’t get help soon.

“Hanji-”

(Y/N) was interrupted by the appearance of several black flares at once, painting the sky in a smokey grey as they faded with the wind. All thoughts of her pain eddied from (Y/N)’s mind at the sight of those flares, where they came from. That was from Levi’s squad. (Y/N) fought the panic that automatically rose in her throat. They had been on several missions together and had survived every single one. (Y/N) had to have confidence that this would be no different. Levi was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, he could handle himself just fine on the battlefield.

Regardless, when Hanji announced that they were changing directory, spinning her horse around to run towards the source of the black flares, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel a flash of relief, eager to check on her lover and protect him if necessary.

____________________________

Levi cursed as another abnormal leapt at him, keeping him too busy to assist anyone else, his heart clenching at the sound of screaming all around him. It had happened so fast, everything had been normal, calm, almost peaceful until one of them had jumped out of a tree like a giant, horrific ape. After that, only more and more had followed, the climbing titans using the trees as leverage to jump on top of the soldiers, crushing the ones under their feet and disorienting the ones that managed to avoid the first devastating blow.

The titan swiped for him again, nearly spinning him out of control when one of its claws caught the edge of his cape, ripping the fabric and throwing off his balance. He was running low on gas but he had no place to go, the forest too far away to latch onto a tree and the titan too difficult to use as an anchor point. Levi twisted, and shot his hooks out again before quickly retracting them from where they had landed in the beast’s neck, using the momentum of which to throw himself out of the way of the titan’s next grab at him.

That was when he saw his opening. Right as he twisted, he noticed that the titan had swung too hard too fast when aiming for Levi, and ended up stumbling forward a little, off balance from the force of the swing. Not wasting a second longer, Levi shot for its nape, spinning as he dove down and slicing through the flesh with a furious roar. The beast crumpled to the ground, taking Levi with it until the raven-haired Captain could land safely on its head.

Looking around again, Levi growled in anger. His squad seemed shaken and injured but alive, while the Garrison soldiers had dropped like flies, the strategic fighting style of these new titans proving to be too much for the normally lazy soldiers. While he normally hated the Garrison, Levi couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart at the thought of the unnecessary deaths, gritting his teeth in anger as he looked towards the forest where things seemed to have quieted down again. For now.

The sound of hoofbeats roused him from his thoughts as he mounted his stallion and regrouped with his squad, his head turning to see Hanji’s squad heading right for them. Kicking his horse into a gallop, Levi and his group met Hanji half way, his eyes automatically searching for (Y/N) and softening when he found her, her own relieved gaze settled on him.

“Levi, what’s going on?” Hanji demanded.

“Abnormal climbing titans, just like the reports said. They were in the goddamn trees, used them like fucking launch pads to corner us,” Levi said, the fire in his eyes stating very clearly what the next set of instructions were. Kill not capture.

Hanji saw that look too and hung her head but nodded. She may be a crazy scientist who loved to do tests on man-eating monsters, but she wouldn’t risk lives unnecessarily. Levi nodded once, grateful for her lack of protest.

“I am low on gas so unless someone has another canister, I’m going to need to head back to the middle. I probably only have enough to shoot up into a tree. That last titan kept toying with me for a while, and I couldn’t find a place to land.”

Hanji’s eyes widened before she nodded. “I’ll take care of your squad, go to Erwin in the center formation. They might even have some extra canisters there if you look in the supply wagon, assuming it hasn’t been destroyed by a titan yet.”

Levi grunted in acknowledgement and turned around, clicking his tongue and pressing his legs into his stallion’s side. His horse burst into a canter and started heading for where they knew Erwin was stationed, the red flares in the sky telling them they had not yet encountered the abnormals.

(Y/N) was just about to turn and double check the gas levels on the canisters of the soldiers around her, able to act as Hanji’s second in command due to her experience, when movement in the trees caught her eye. Her eyes widened and Levi’s name was out of her mouth in a scream before her mind could even really process the situation. Kicking her horse into a furious gallop, (Y/N) ignored the shouts of her name as she rode right for her lover, her eyes watching as the abnormal titan, its body hidden by the canopy of trees, made right for Levi.

To her horror, Levi slowed to a stop and turned to see what (Y/N) wanted, not yet having realized that he was only thirty feet from death. Screaming for him to get out of the way, (Y/N) pushed Zephyr to the brink, desperate to reach him before the titan did, her eyes catching the white teeth that glinted in the dappled sunlight beneath the trees.

Watching where she was looking, Levi finally realized what she must be screaming about. Looking towards the forest, he still couldn’t see anything, but he figured he must be at the wrong angle to see whatever danger (Y/N) could see. Immediately putting his full faith in her, Levi started galloping again, trying to get out of the way. But it was too late. Just as he started moving again, his eyes finally caught sight of the abnormal titan, the beast hanging from a tree branch and smiling at him, drool falling in rivers from its mouth as it eyed him like a fresh cut steak.

Levi knew it was too late, his eyes closing as the titan leaped at him, its mouth gaping, teeth ready to bite him in half. There was nothing he could do. He was out of gas, out of time. His horse panicked beneath him, trying to turn in a way that would avoid the blow, but he wasn’t fast enough.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Levi murmured to himself just as he felt his body get slammed out of the saddle.

_____________________________

Levi grunted in pain at the feeling of being swatted from the back of his horse, his eyes squeezed shut as the wind howled in his ears. He had expected the titan to jump on him like the last one did, but as he felt himself flying through the air, he realized the beast must’ve thrown him. He braced himself to hit the ground, almost hoping the impact would kill him quickly rather than feeling the pain of being crushed between a titan’s teeth.

But he never did.

Opening his eyes, Levi looked down to see the ground far below him, the other soldiers scrambling for cover as the titan rampaged below. He could even see his own stallion, riderless, galloping around in a panic, clearly having jumped out of the titan’s way when he was thrown out of the saddle. But he wasn’t falling towards the ground.

Levi fought for breath as he realized he was flying parallel to the ground, neither rising nor falling, just gliding over the field. He gasped out when his body turned in midair, curving in an arc and dipping down to aim back to where his squad members had finally managed to kill the abnormal and were looking at him with shocked faces, standing around with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

Suddenly, his body was shifted a little, and Levi realized there were a pair of strong, soft arms holding him close to someone’s chest. The wind still howled in his ears, but now that some of the initial panic was gone, he could detect the sound of crying. Looking up, Levi froze, his eyes locking on familiar (e/c) ones he saw everyday. (Y/N) was carrying him. But then how was she working her ODM gear without using her hands to pull the triggers? Where was she connecting her grappling hooks to?

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” (Y/N) was whispering over and over again into his ear, her body shaking almost as much as his.

“(Y/N), what-?”

That was when he finally noticed. His face had been so close to hers, his eyes so focused on holding her gaze that he hadn’t thought to look out a little. But now he saw. Over the rush of the wind in his ears he could hear it too, the sound of the air being beat around them. His breath caught in his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. Poking out from (Y/N)’s back to stretch taut on either side of her, were a pair of gorgeous, leathery black wings.

“Hold on tight to me,” (Y/N) murmured, not giving him a chance to question her before she dove down, folding her wings in slightly so that they sped towards Levi’s squad. Levi naturally gripped her harder, his arms around her neck and his face nestled into her throat as they dropped, his heart in his mouth. Just before hitting the ground, (Y/N) spread her wings out again, flaring them open to catch the wind and slow their descent before flapping them a few times to land gracefully on the ground.

(Y/N) instantly set Levi back down on the ground as soon as they were stable, but held her shoulder out to him to lean against, knowing his legs were probably like jelly after that near death experience. She was still trembling like a leaf, a mix of adrenaline and paralyzing fear overwhelming her body.

She hadn’t thought when she had finally let go. She just did it. The sight of Levi, about to get eaten by that foul beast, had wiped all sense of logic from her brain. She would’ve used her gear, but she knew she wouldn’t have reached him in time, her natural mode of flight much faster than a bucket of bolts and wires.

The horrible pain in her back was gone now, replaced by a pleasant throbbing as the satisfying new weight sat perfectly between her shoulders. Her back was automatically realigned, her body made for the wings she displayed so that she wouldn’t hunch. It felt so good to have them out again, even if the breeze that brushed them did cause her to shiver and tuck them in close to her body. But she knew now. There was no hiding this from anyone. Erwin may not have been around to see it, but both of Levi’s and Hanji’s squads had seen it, along with all of the Garrison soldiers that had come along for the trip.

She was starting to feel light headed. This was bad. This was really really bad. Memories came flooding back, the cages and the chains and the whips and the evil grins. She didn’t know what to do. Should she fly away? She didn’t have to worry about titans so much when she didn’t have to worry about gas usage, but then she would be leaving her friends and comrades alone with little gas and a shocked, distracted state of mind. If they didn’t get themselves together when she left, too stunned by her secret to function as an elite unit, they would most certainly perish. She was just about to say something when one of the Garrison soldiers opened his mouth instead.

“Well well well…,” he nearly purred, making (Y/N)’s hair stand up on end. “What do we have here? Those are some pretty sweet wings you’ve got there. How did you get them?”

“That’s none of your concern,” (Y/N) said, her body tensing as she brought her wings impossibly closer to her body.

“I’m assuming it’s a difficult, nearly impossible procedure? I wonder exactly how many of you there are out there. Not many, I’m assuming?”

(Y/N) didn’t answer. She could see where this was going but she had to wait it out, her eyes scanning the territory around them not only for an escape route, but also to check for oncoming titans.

“That makes me wonder…, how much someone would be willing to pay for the only winged human in the world…”

(Y/N) met his eyes then. She felt Levi tense beside her but he still seemed to be in shock, his hair covering his face as he looked down at the ground, refusing to even glance in her direction. The sight made her heart clench painfully. She had known she would lose him when she finally revealed her true self to him, but it didn’t lessen the pain of actually experiencing it, the happy memories from the past six months flooding her brain only to turn sour at the sight of the normally regal Captain hunched over in distress.

“GET HER!”

The loud bellow snapped her out of her thoughts, her head jerking around to see every Garrison soldier immediately charge her, weapons raised and eyes glimmering. She could see them practically drooling at the thought of the mountains of money they were going to receive for bringing back such a rare creature. Letting out a loud snarl, (Y/N) viciously snapped her wings open, the large black membranes stretching out in their entirety before she shot into the air, knocking some of the surrounding soldiers over with the force of her wings flapping. She heard the sound of gunshots and let out a yelp when she felt a bullet strike her side but she kept flying, darting into the forest without hesitation, her wings curling and arching to allow her to whip around the trees. Her wings pumped, beating the air as she flew as fast as she could, disappearing into the foliage until she could no longer hear the unintelligible sounds of screaming behind her.

___________________________

Levi was a complete wreck. When that piece of shit had barked at his men to grab her, bringing out his gun and actually managing to hit her somewhere, Levi had snapped out of his daze and damn near killed the man. Only having both Hanji and a frantic Erwin drag him off the other man had kept Levi from finishing him off.

Erwin, who had come running up when neither of his two troops came back, was quickly briefed on the situation while the Garrison soldiers were held at gunpoint, all of them trying to figure out what the hell to do. In the end, Erwin had decided to retreat, the threat of more titans appearing becoming a greater and greater threat the longer they stayed in one place. Levi had been adamant, refusing to leave his lover out on her own, but Hanji, Erwin, and eventually Mike managed to force him to come with them.

As soon as they had made it back to base, the Garrison soldiers had been imprisoned for the unprecedented attack against a Survey Corps officer, none of their superiors believing in a story about a woman with wings, all of them assuming the men had gone crazy from their experience outside the walls for the first time. The Survey Corps soldiers had been sent back to base to eat and rest, despite the fact that it was obvious none of that was going to happen with the entire place abuzz with rumors and retellings of what had happened on the battlefield.

Levi was distraught, pacing his office as if he were caged, his hand raking through his hair. Hanji and Erwin joined him in his office as soon as they had put away their horses and gear, Hanji even taking the time to take care of (Y/N)’s horse before finding their friend in his quarters. Neither one of them had ever seen him this upset and it worried them, the wild look in his eyes as he fought with himself over the decision to leave her out there, even when he hadn’t had a choice.

“I’m assuming, Levi, based on your reaction that you did not know?” Erwin asked carefully.

“Of course I didn’t know! I mean, her back was really bothering her and she’s always been sensitive to touch, almost fearful of it, but there was nothing to suggest that she has fucking wings hidden in her back!”

“Okay, we need to think about this very carefully,” Hanji said.

“What is there to think about!?” Levi cried. “We are going back out there to get her as soon as the horses have had some water and my squad has rested.”

“Levi, it’s not that simple. We were able to stop the spread of rumors throughout the Garrison for now, but what do you think will happen when we get her back here, hmm? You can’t protect her from everyone, and word will get out about her… gift. You can’t just lock her up in a box either. Obviously, she’s been having some problems with keeping this a secret, so we need to have a solid plan, something to ensure her safety before we throw her into danger unnecessarily,” Hanji said.

Levi sighed and hung his head, bracing his palms against the edge of his desk. What his friends were saying was true, but he just couldn’t help the feelings that were running rampant through him. The thought of anyone trying to take his lover from him made his blood boil. He wanted nothing more than to protect her at all costs, to keep her safe and hidden away from the dangers of the world.

But Hanji was right. She wasn’t just some animal that could be kept in a room and still be happy. She was a person, and not just any person, a person with wings. She would naturally want to be out and about. Besides, he didn’t want her to have to live that way anyway. He wanted her to be able to live her life freely, the way she wanted to, without fear of being captured and used for experiments.

Levi looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Erwin standing beside him, his face scrunched with worry for both of his hurting friends. He could see how much Levi wanted to help her, but he was being irrational and just needed a moment to step back.

“Levi, right now I want you to settle down and rest. That’s an order,” Erwin said when Levi opened his mouth to argue. “Hanji and I will start putting together a plan and go over it with you tomorrow, but right now, you are not in the right frame of mind to contribute. Understood?”

Levi wanted to press the issue further but he eventually nodded and sighed, accepting defeat.

“Good.”

Levi watched as his two friends left, closing the door behind them in the hopes that Levi would be able to eventually relax a little. Levi scoffed at the idea, resting while his beloved was stuck outside the walls, injured and struggling for survival. The only comfort he had was that it was getting dark outside, the titans settling down for the night with the setting sun.

“Just hang in there, (Y/N). Please, just stay alive, I’m coming for you as soon as I can, I promise.”

_________________________________

Levi shot awake, his body covered in sweat and his chest heaving to find himself in his office. He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, only that he had obviously dozed off in his desk chair, his neck aching from the odd sleeping position. He had been dreaming of (Y/N) calling for his help, screaming as she was crushed between the jaws of a titan. He had tried to reach her, but his feet wouldn’t move, keeping him frozen to the floor as he watched the love of his life die, even after she had saved his life without hesitation.

He brought a hand to his face, wiping the sweat from his skin and closing his eyes again, the sight of (Y/N) blowing him a kiss and mouthing ‘I love you’ before she died, burned into his brain no matter how many times he tried to convince himself it wasn’t real. He swallowed hard and opened his eyes again, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. (Y/N) was the strongest woman he knew. Not only as a soldier, but also in her determination to help others and make it through any situation, no matter the challenge. If anyone could make it out there, it would be her.

Standing up, Levi was about to go brew himself some tea when a light tapping on the glass of his window made him look up. He nearly choked on his gasp at the sight of (Y/N), holding a hand to her side where she had wrapped her bullet wound with torn pieces of her jacket, but seemingly otherwise unharmed. She was standing on the windowsill on the side of the castle, her wings hidden again.

Levi wasted no time in sprinting to the window and flinging it open, pulling her into his arms, immediately burying his face into her neck and inhaling her scent, his right hand placed against her chest to feel her heartbeat drum against his fingers. She sagged against him and hugged him back, a small smile spreading across her face at his affection.

“Oh my gods, (Y/N),” Levi choked out, reaching up to stroke her hair softly. “I was so fucking worried.”

“I’m here now, Levi. It’s okay.”

“How?” Levi asked, pulling back to look her into her eyes.

“Um…, it wasn’t too bad when I didn’t have to worry about gas. I just had to stay high enough to keep away from the titans that could jump, and then I stayed above the cloud line when crossing the wall to stay out of sight.”

Levi blinked at her and she glanced away from him, her front teeth coming out to bite at her lip nervously. He still hadn’t reacted to the news. She knew there was a chance he could try to imprison her, or have her experimented on, but she just couldn’t stay away from him. She had argued with herself when she had finally found a safe pace to stay, but she knew she couldn’t leave him. No matter what happened to her, she had to see him one last time.

“Hey,” Levi said, gently lifting her chin. “It’s okay. It’s definitely… different, but I love you and nothing could ever change that. Not even a pair of beautiful wings.”

“You think they’re beautiful?” (Y/N) asked, a hopeful glint in her eye.

“Yes,” Levi breathed. “And they helped you save my life, thank you.”

(Y/N) nodded and nuzzled into his chest a little, her nerves still tingling. He had called them beautiful, but she still felt wary, like something bad was going to happen any second now.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Levi asked after a moment of silence.

“You saw what happened when people found out. I became very valuable all of a sudden, and not in the good way.”

“You think I would ever do that to you?”

“No.., not really. I guess, I was worried about you hating me, but I never thought you’d hurt me. I was mostly afraid of everyone else, and what they might’ve done to you if you tried to prevent them from taking me.”

Levi looked into her eyes then. She had kept them a secret not just to protect herself but also to protect him. His heart warmed at the sentiment at the same time that anger coiled in his gut, upset at the idea of her having to feel this way because people wouldn’t accept her for who she is.

“How?” Levi asked.

(Y/N) knew what he meant. She loosed a sigh and backed away from him, her arms coming around to hold herself.

“I don’t know specifically how because the experiments technically weren’t done on me. But I was raised in a lab. I was experimented on a lot after I was born, testing my limits and trying to see how strong I was. It was horrible, especially when they would test pain durability and tolerance,” Levi sucked in a breath but didn’t interrupt, letting her pour her heart out.

“I was apparently supposed to be the newest weapon for the Survey Corps, a new line of technology that some people discovered one day. I was supposed to be a prototype of some sort, for a new way to fight. They were going to advertise having this procedure done on people so that we would never have to use ODM gear ever again.”

“But it didn’t go according to plan. I said earlier that the experiments technically weren’t done on me because it was originally my mother that they were using. She was a nobody, a prostitute from the Underground that nobody cared about after she had gotten pregnant from a client. Problem was, when they selected her, they didn’t know she was pregnant. I’m pretty sure she didn’t even know either. They just picked her because she was losing popularity at her particular brothel. Turns out morning sickness isn’t exactly a turn on,” (Y/N) said bitterly, making Levi’s blood boil at the thought of this poor pregnant woman going through that.

“She was experimented on, injected with things, tortured. All in the hopes that she would grow wings like I did. What they didn’t know was that the treatments were actually affecting me inside of her, making me develop differently. They found out when they noticed her stomach extending and used some tests to determine she was pregnant. They made her go through with it, keeping her healthy until I was born,” (Y/N) closed her eyes and swallowed hard, a shuddering breath escaping from her lips as she recalled the last part.

“Apparently, since I developed wings in the womb, when I was born, I ended up killing my own mother, her body not prepared to give birth to two extra appendages. I was too big for her body to handle, in terms of shape, and I ended up ripping her on the inside, both with the size of my wings and the talons I have on each crest.”

Levi’s eyes widened, (Y/N)’s bitter expression telling him that everything she said was true.

“But they didn’t care about my mother. She was just some rat from the Underground to them. So when she died, they threw her body out back for the animals to get and immediately started working on me.”

(Y/N) chuckled darkly when Levi growled, her eyes flashing in agreement. “Yeah I know.”

“So, how did you get out?” Levi asked.

“Well, they would take me on these test flights sometimes, outside the walls to see how good I was at killing titans and maneuvering around their attempts to catch me. I was always attached to things or people, chained to a cart or something to keep me from flying away. One day, when we were out, a horde of titans came out of nowhere. I killed some of them, protecting myself, but when they went for the people I was tortured by…, I just didn’t act quite as fast as I could’ve to kill the titans.”

Levi nodded, love swelling in his chest at the thought that she had trusted him enough to tell him that. “C-Can I see them?”

(Y/N) hesitated. She trusted Levi, but years of instincts and habits were hard to break. Steeling her nerves, (Y/N) nodded once and closed her eyes. Levi watched in awe as (Y/N) took a deep breath and slowly unfurled her wings, the large black membranes expanding and stretching until they were fully revealed.

Levi knew she was feeling nervous, could tell in the way she shifted from foot to foot and bit her lip again, but he couldn’t form the words to comfort her, rendered speechless by the sight in front of him. He had thought they were beautiful when he saw them briefly on the battlefield, but now up close, the only word he could think of to describe her was stunning. Her wingspan was obviously huge, the wings stretching out enough to almost brush along both walls of his office. They gleamed in the flickering candlelight, especially off of the sharp talons she had at the tip of each wing. They almost seemed to breathe, the muscles naturally rising and falling with each breath she took, the membranes turned into various shades of red and gold as the light filtered through them.

“Wow…,” Levi murmured, prompting a blush to form on (Y/N)’s cheeks.

“You don’t think they’re weird?”

“No,” Levi said, gently coming closer to her. “Do you think…, do you think I could… touch one?”

(Y/N) tensed a little but eventually nodded, a curious spark in her eye. “Just be gentle, they are ~Hah! Ahhahh…”

Levi had gently brushed his fingertip along her left wing as she was talking, the soft moan that escaped her mouth causing him to freeze. He looked at her face to see her gritting her teeth.

“That,” she swallowed. “Is very sensitive.”

“Bad sensitive or good sensitive?”

“G-Good.”

Levi smirked. “Oh? What if I do this?”

(Y/N) clenched her fists and stood ramrod straight, a gasp tearing from her throat as he took two fingers and ran them along the inner curve of her wing, brushing against her with the utmost care and gentleness.

Levi marveled at the feeling of her wing. It was way softer than he could’ve ever imagined, like pure silk. It was warm too, he could feel the pulsing of her heartbeat through the membrane, the heat from her blood circulation making her wing have the feeling of freshly baked cookies.

“What does it feel like?” Levi asked, his voice no louder than a whisper.

“Um, like this,” (Y/N) said, her words strangled. She surprised him by placing her hand beneath his shirt and running it down his chest with featherlight caresses. When she reached his abs, she unexpectedly leaned forward and bit his ear lobe, licking along the shell and blowing on it, making him shudder with a quiet groan.

“Oh,” Levi said, his voice two octaves deeper than before as tingles exploded through his system.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said with a chuckle.

“Where do you hide them?” Levi asked as he reached his hand up to stroke her wing again, ripping another gasp from her.

“There are two slits in my back, they look almost like a pair of giant fish gills. They are nearly unnoticeable normally, but when I haven’t opened them for a while they become more prominent.”

“Is that also why you were having such horrible back pain?”

“Yeah, if I keep them hidden for too long my body starts to get upset with me. You see, I’m built to have wings. My spine is slightly altered to accommodate for them, so when I hide them away, it curls my spine abnormally. If I don’t release them every few days, I get those back pains you saw me dealing with. I normally just release them in my room when it’s late at night and the doors are locked, but I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had time to safely stretch them out without hurting myself. It was because of that that I was so sensitive to touch as well. Part of it was genuinely from my past of abuse, but the other part of it was to make sure you didn’t find them by accident. Sometimes you can cause them to come out by squeezing the right pressure point on my back.”

Levi nodded. “(Y/N), I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this alone. I wish you had told me sooner. Just know that I will protect you and we will get through this together, alright? I’m not leaving you and I will not let anyone take you from me.”

(Y/N) smiled at him, tears springing to her eyes at his warm sentiment. Gods, she was so in love with this man. If she thought he was perfect before, she didn’t know what to think now other than he was more than perfect, and she couldn’t help but swell with pride and love at the thought that he was all hers. She knew in the morning she would have to face a bombardment of questions and the world would get a lot more dangerous for her, but with Levi by her side, she knew they could conquer anything.

#levi x reader #aot levi #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #captain levi #captain levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #snk imagines #snk levi #snk #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #shigeki no kyojin

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vminity21 · 4 years ago

Text

Forgive Me | ksj

Pairing: Actor!Seokjin X CoHost!Reader, actor!au

Genre: angst/fluff

Warning(s): smut, shower sex, oral (f receive), quite handsy, nipple play, mention of infidelity, angst, strong use of language, mention of alcohol, Rated: R

Word Count: 12.9k

Summary: One mistake can change someone’s life in the blink of an eye which is what you will discover after sleeping with the enticing and handsome Kim Seokjin. When an unwanted scandal breaks loose, it can ruin both of your careers as you know it. As Seokjin fights for your forgiveness, you not only learn to forgive him, but you learn to forgive yourself.

- Book One of the BTS Actor Series -

The frigid wind of winter nips your nose the moment you step foot outside. Bundled in many layers of clothing, your black, trench coat being most prominent, you shove your mitten hands in the front pockets, eyes scanning the clear path ahead. Leafless trees decorate the sides of the road sparsely while the grayish hue of the sky sprinkles few snowflakes onto the earth. You’ve never minded the cold weather though some find you insane for it; yet, you quicken your pace, urging for the destination you have in mind: the park. It’s not like you have anything else to do with your life other than writing an article about a film, or a critique on the food you’ve tried, or anything involving your opinion, which you’ve learned to embrace despite the backlash that may come with it.

Your dream, however, is to be in the spotlight, but not in the way others may think. Cameras angling in your direction as you stand alongside the main host- you can see yourself comedically mingling with every celebrity that guest stars the same as the skits you’d help direct or even feature in. Late night hosting has been something you’ve tried dabbling in, though callbacks for any auditions haven’t been received just yet. A warm sigh brushes past your lips at the anxiety you try to suppress. You can’t give up that easily, and you won’t. For now, under a pen name, you’ll remain writing critiques until a definite answer is established.

The slow roll of a car distracts you momentarily bringing a sense of comfort mixed in with prodding footsteps against the sidewalk. You moved to the city to achieve great things which lead you to find the magazine company you currently work for, and even now, with scattered thoughts, you can’t shake the lonely feeling within your chest. Your friends, of whom you left behind, not because you wanted to, but because of this job, you rarely get to visit. The same goes for your parents, which you’ve held a burden of guilt for because you also have not seen them since they helped you move to your vacant apartment.

Continuing down the line of vision, the grass has dimmed greatly since fall. The welcoming sign of the park passes your peripherals, the crunch of gravel beneath your shoes being the only sound you hear other than the gentle breeze. There’s an opening ahead, one that you’ve grown familiar with, where the trees break enough to reveal a glistening lake- one that ripples beneath the cloudy sky- serenading serenity to your soul once you edge closer to it.

Finding a tree, you nestle your shoulder against it whilst folding your arms across your chest, inhaling the crude scent of mud covering the rocks circling the brim of the water. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve traveled here, but with the exhaustion of being cooped up in your apartment, you longed for a different view. Time passes, but how much, you are uncertain; merely being lost in nature is all you’re enchanted by.

“Gorgeous isn’t it?”

A deep voice catches you off guard prompting you to whip your head around to the intruder who plagued your thumping heart. A quiet gasp escapes your mouth with the unexpected unraveling of the most handsome stranger you’ve ever come across. Rendered speechless, your eyes scape the dark jeans covering slim legs that lead to a gray hoodie hanging loosely off broad shoulders to now resting upon the pointed jaw that shines with full, pink lips parted in a side smile. His brown eyes never move their hold upon the soothing lake, and yet, you can’t seem to take your eyes off the way his jet, black hair parts upon his forehead. Attraction seeps within your bones and when he peers down at you- abruptly you avert your stare whilst the burning sensation of a blush dawns your cheeks and chest.

“It is,” you muse, noticing the crisp smell of cologne wafting in your direction, “How often do you come here?” The question rolls off your tongue, yet the curiosity is evident in your tone, especially since you haven’t seen him frequent this area the times that you have.

“Just this past week,” he slides his hands within his pockets, “I just moved here not too long ago,”

“What do you do?” To get a better visual of the fellow, you turn enough to where your back rests against the tree versus your shoulder, him rolling back on his heels while a quick draw of breath is seen within the air.

“I’m an actor,” he wets his lips, “Or, at least trying to be. I have an audition tomorrow morning, actually,” he nods, “But, I do a bit of cooking on the side, too,”

Impressed by his answer, it’s been a while since you’ve done this particular, but you attempt at a subtle flirt, “Well, that’s very dashing I must admit,”

Handsome Fellow chuckles, bowing his head enough to where you notice the reddened tips of his ears, “I’m Kim Seokjin by the way. Some call me Jin,” he offers a large hand, “And, what is your name and what do you do?”

Accepting his handshake, you reply, “I’m [Y/N], a columnist for a magazine company living my best life here in the city,” it takes you a few seconds to realize that you’re still shaking his hand prompting you to awkwardly return your hand into your coat pocket- the red tinge of your cheeks still present.

“Well [Y/N], a columnist for a magazine company living your best life, I am very honored to meet you,” Seokjin slightly bows- something in his eyes mesmerizing you to the point that you refrain from staring into them. Clearing his throat, he looks down at you timidly, “So um,” he begins, “Would you like to take a walk?”

Before you can blink, you’re up against the wall, your legs wrapped around him, one arm on his bare shoulders while the other tangles within his hair.

It hadn’t taken any words.

Especially with the way his brown eyes swept your figure from top to bottom, your teeth grazing your bottom lip nearly flattered by his eloquent smirk. Both of you knew exactly what the other was thinking, your core tightening with the desire to know what it’s like to be with him. Only meeting several hours ago, he’s become impossible to resist- drawing you in almost instantly even with the tempting whiff of his cologne, his aura igniting a lust you haven’t experienced in a long, deprived while.

In one swift motion, his hands rapidly gripped your waist, pinning you against the black railing of his front porch, seizing your lips with his, your hand flying to the back of his head just to clutch soft, frilly tufts of dark hair. The tug brought a low moan to his mouth causing him to press his hips into yours, the feel of his erection nearly bringing you to your knees. Sounds of cars passing by knocked some sense into you, breaking the kiss just for Seokjin to fumble with his keys until he was able to unlock the front door with hardly a straight mind.

Slamming the door shut, Seokjin covered your cheeks with his warm, calloused palms, kissing you once again, the fast pace of his lips making you want to sex him on the spot with the strong fire burning within your heat, but there’s more to him you want to know. More of him you want to see. You helped him shed his sweatshirt, it hit the floor while he nearly ripped your coat off your shoulders, tossing it randomly to the side before he started unbuttoning your blouse- his lips pecking yours ever so softly whilst concentrating on the task at hand- getting you naked, and getting you naked on top of him. It didn’t take long until both your bodies were completely bare- kisses so addicting it’s been painstakingly hard to refrain. That’s when Jin hoisted you in the air, his arms bulging while his hands gripped your thighs- pinioning your back against the cool wall, your legs wrapped around him, one arm on his bare shoulders, the other hand in his hair.

Your soaked entrance rests against his abdomen, clenching along his skin, he groans upon your lips from the continuous actions of your heat relentlessly throbbing- begging for more. “Mmm.” You moan- lips remaining locked while his warmth embraces you. He presses his body tighter to you brushing the tip of his tongue with yours as you grip at his back, your breathing increasing with every movement of his lips. Seokjin twirls around and carries you to his bedroom crashing you on his bed, the covers indent beneath you, instinctively your hands’ grip at the fabric, the material soft between your fingers. The two of you gaze in each other’s eyes, but only for a moment, before he starts kissing you again. His hands slither up your ribcage to palm at your breasts, the ticklish feel of your nipples really drives you insane, him sucking at the smooth skin to leave trails of bruised marks for you to be reminded of when his presence isn’t around. Both of you on your knees at this point, he runs his tongue along your nipples, and without realizing, both your hands are now squeezing his shoulders, the fervor below you feels intense as he continues licking your chest. Moving your arms around his neck, you crave more of his kiss; the paradise of his skin on yours sends a violent shake to your legs, enfolding your thighs to suppress the aching, but only momentarily.

The wild inside you starts coming alive, bringing one hand to stroke his erection, his expression revealing utter ecstasy at how good you feel satisfying him; you sigh seductively into his ear, “I’ve got an idea.” If the two of you aren’t already moving fast enough, the squeaky sound of the shower starting fills you with anticipation. Both of you don’t even wait until the water is warm, Seokjin shuts the glass door then crashes his lips to yours, pinning you against the chilly shower wall- his hand wraps around your wrist, tongues flouncing, the water sweltering as it pours all over your frames. You gaze at the scene in front of you. You thought he was hot before, but with steamy water dripping down his face and through his hair, the attraction has grown immensely. Your craving for him is so strong to the point your body can’t take it.

“I think this is the best idea anyone has ever had.” He breathes, his smile meeting your ear.

“Mmm.” You moan, planting kisses along his neck and jaw then coming back to his mouth- nipping his bottom lip for a tease. “And, don’t worry, by the way, I’m on the pill,”

Desire sparks within his eyes once your hands move to slide along his chest, he follows your lead, slipping onto the ground cautiously, spreading your legs- the water heating your slit sending waves of goosebumps to invade your skin. “Ohhh, Jinnn,” you breathe, the tips of his fingers finding your clit, hastily vibrating to stimulate the bliss within your vaginal walls- you don’t expect him to, but when he lifts your legs- water showering his back, completely drenching his hair, that’s when you feel it. The slippery touch of his tongue sliding plentifully against your core not allowing you one moment to get a hold of yourself. The sensation is one you have yet to experience- intense heat of droplets panging your folds while Seokjin pleasures you with his skilled tongue, your clit pulses- relishing in the feel of his hands gripping your thighs whilst he keeps them raised- flicking his tongue into your walls, moving his fingertips to rub your clit simultaneously. Your climax is coming to its peak, your moans echoing within the shower, growing higher the moment his fingertips graze your nipples tenderly, your limbs violently shaking in response before tensing,

“Oh, shit, I’m about to come- Jin, oh fuck, Ji-” his fingers are relentless as he bites hard on his bottom lip still rubbing profusely upon your sensitive clit- his eyes darkening with the satisfaction of watching you come undone. You raise to stop him when you finally recover, panting through the downpour when you meet his questioning eyes. Smirking deviously, you turn to let his eyes enlarge at the sight of your taunting ass. Teasing him with your clenching core, Seokjin rises to rest his area behind you, bringing the tip of his penis to your entrance, his other hand gliding upon your back, while he releases an anticipated hiss; your palms placed in front of you firmly, the shower drowning out your staggered breaths once he slowly moves into you. “Ahhh,” you sigh in relief at the feel of him finally pushing- starting off slowly, in and out, his hand still spreading along the base of your back while he gradually thrusts, him nearly cumming at the undeniable warmth your heat gives off- your sodden walls coating his erection with each shove.

As the night drives on, you end up back in his bed- him thrusting roughly inside you- the feeling building and building to the point your body tenses. As you finish, so does he. “Mm baby.” You gasp. The pleasure causing both of you to crash side by side. Exhaustion hitting you after a few minutes, to your surprise, you feel his warm hand intertwine his fingers with yours causing you to look over to see him staring at you as if you’re the only girl in the world.

“What?” You manage to say, your breathing beginning to calm. His eyes still fixated on you, Seokjin gives a side grin, and as you wait for him to speak, he doesn’t. Instead, he rests his palm on your cheek, reaches over and gives you the sweetest kiss you have ever felt. It only lasts for a few seconds, but long enough to where you can feel everything. Heart melting, you touch the tip of your nose to his and turn around as he wraps his arms around you. Finally, for the first time since moving to the city, you’re thankful that you’re not sleeping alone tonight.

The morning comes faster than you wanted- your eyes struggling to flutter open while you stretch your drained limbs. Sunrays bright between the blinds of the window- dancing shadows are cast along the bed sheets while a long yawn escapes your mouth. It takes a prolonged minute for you to realize you’re not in your own bed, yet a grin tugs at the corner of your lips when you’re acceptant that nothing from last night was a dream. Back still pressed into the mattress, your eyebrows furrow when you notice your empty peripherals- Seokjin’s warmth is absent until you remember him mentioning yesterday that he has an audition this morning, so perhaps he’s practicing in another room? Maybe he’s already left? Which also pangs the question: he trusts a stranger he just met yesterday to be in his house alone?

Before deciding on if you desire to remove yourself from his bed to look for him or not, you roll to lay on your side, eyes still in the process of clearing due to just waking up. A side table welcomes your sight, and with the squinting of your eyes, you notice a round, dark object sitting upon it. Blinking a few times, you focus in on the item, choosing to reach out to grasp it between your fingertips. Once you inch it closer to your face, the blood boiling within your system runs dead cold- fingertips numbing while the horror takes over your mind before you can accurately decipher what you’ve just discovered. You’re not even given the chance to make sense of it for the click of the bedroom door opening sends your hands jolting to grasp the bed covers to your chest while panic etches upon your expression- eyes widening at the woman who now stands before you.

Her gape resumed on the ground before looking up to the sight of you- gradual anger pooling within her eyes while the sound of her purse hitting the ground from her stiffened wrist, which exposes a shiny, diamond ring, being the only thing noticeable over the fog overwhelming you and your heaving chest.

“Who. The hell. Are you,” her blood red lips sneer with gritted teeth,

“I-I,” you’re barely audible, her cold stare never leaving your shattered state. You’re butt ass naked in what you assume is this woman’s bed and she’s not the one you hooked up with last night.

“Get out,” she growls, “Get out! Get out! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Leaping from the bed, comforter twirled around your body, the object makes a ‘ding’ sound once it dins the floor. Your heart is racing above nausea swallowing your stomach; the woman continuing to scream while you frantically gather your clothes- throwing them on as fast as you possibly can. Your shoes being the final item, you leave the bed comforter somewhere on the floor, slamming the front door behind you once everything you had with you last night is officially covering your body.

You run. You just run.

Running from the utter humiliation that you know will haunt you for the rest of your life. You don’t even know where your apartment is. You don’t even know where you’re going really. All you know is you want to be as far away from that house as you possibly can. Tears fly down your cheeks as you choke back a sob- the chilly wind drying the trails upon your pale skin.

Wherever he is, you don’t care. You don’t ever want to see him again.

Nor do you want to relive discovering his wedding ring the morning, after you thought, had been one of the most beautiful nights you’ve had in such a long time.

Two years later….

It’s unexplainable. Flashing lights colliding with your vision from the limo while security protects you until you sprint safely into the building of your job. Heels click beneath you while you saunter to your dressing room, removing the sunglasses that cover close to the entirety of your face. Perfume drowns most of your skin, and small hands fluff at your curls before retrieving makeup brushes to resume the finishing touches in preparation for the evening. Thumbing at the corner of your script, you down the last bit of the water that you packed with you, smoothing your lips together from the gloss now decorating them.

Looking in the mirror is strange, from the woman you once were to the woman you are now, you never dreamed that your goals would finally come to life. Face ornamented into one of beauty with designer clothes you would have never been able to afford until given this opportunity. Even now, it seems like your life flashed before your eyes, and here you are, the co-host of Late Night in Seoul. The familiarity of the producer’s voice echoes outside of the room prompting you to rise to your feet. The walk to the stage isn’t a long one- cheers of the audience welcome you once your hand waves in return- the main host bowing politely while you take your spot behind one of the podiums off to the side. Recalling your script, you repeat the jokes written causing the audience to laugh along- the Host eventually introducing the celebrity guest who you smile toward with eager applause.

Fame is a funny word, one you haven’t quite grasped. You’re not as famous as one could potentially be, but you are, in fact, known. Being recognized in public is a rarity, yet there are days where you are swamped with questions of where one has seen you before but can’t quite place how. Celebrities who have featured in the show know you, some personally, so at times you do get to frequent parties where the most popular names are invited; and, you’ve gotten to travel to places that accomplished checks off your bucket list.

Getting through the evening in one peace, you find yourself within the back of a dark SUV where your favorite driver Stan politely asks how your night went, as he always does, before pulling into the driveway of your home. Stare lingering on your surroundings, when the coast is clear, you thank Stan for the ride and exit the vehicle cautiously. Walking into your house, you kick off your heels almost immediately, before running your fingertips upon your thudding forehead. In an attempt to ignore the mild pain, you scamper toward the kitchen where a pile of mail sits in await of your arrival. Your mother must have checked the mail this morning for you which is something she does especially on days where you haven’t had the chance to do so; she even tidies up the house, her being retired as well as being moved closer, for something to do which you are utterly grateful for.

Compiling the mail within your palms, you move your fingers to flip through everything when a magazine cover catches you off guard to the point you toss the magazine in frustration. For once in your life, you would appreciate the haunting of his face to not appear on every printed paper known to man. Squeezing your eyes shut from the turning memory you force yourself on a daily to avoid, you bite the corner of your lip roughly, hands gripping at the counter behind you. You’ve never professed to a soul about the happenstance two years ago, and it is a secret you plan on taking with you to your grave. Guilt has never dissipated after all this time, and it seemed as though once your career blossomed into success, so had his, which stirs emotions that have been pent up to the point that you wish you had a distraction, but one never appears, which tends to happen particularly on the nights you are alone. Glimpsing over at the spot where the magazine lays sprawled among the counter, with tongue in cheek, you shake your head, picking up the magazine to then tossing it into the trashcan.

Ridding of your outfit, you progressively change into your pajamas, scurrying to your couch to curl within the corner, pulling a thin blanket over your chilled frame. Leaning further into the cushion, you let the material soothe your aching head. You haven’t dated much since. Times that you’ve tried resulted in just as much disappointment as you’ve already endured multiple times prior. Maybe it’s the broken trust you struggle with when in the presence of a stranger. A lesson you wish you would have learned sooner but didn’t. Maybe it’s the way his eyes worshipped your body the second he got you alone that just dripped the temptation of desiring the taste of him-

“Fuck,” you wince, punching the couch once in order to halt whatever memory trying to plague your overwhelmed conscious. He’s divorced now. Or, has been for some time, but he wasn’t quite famous at the time the divorce took place. Being one of the top male actors in your country, word gets around- history people dig up just to update a fucking Wikipedia page, you grimace. Co-workers consistently beg the main host to feature him on Late Night in Seoul, and your heart races with the plan of calling out if need be to prevent from spilling the dirty little secret you have with the actor no one knows you’re affiliated with. You are the one person who is the cause to the end of his marriage. And, that’s a risk you’re not willing to take.

Restless, you rise from the couch, the blanket slipping off your legs while you finish ciphering through the mail that you missed. One letter gripping your attention, you rip it open, eyes widening as an “Oh wow,” of awe leaves your lips. You’re invited to an after party for a movie that recently premiered. Kim Taehyung, the lead role of the film, happens to be the star of the gathering- a typed address catching your gaze at the corner of the paper. Maybe this is, indeed, the distraction you’ve been longing for since your return home. Besides, if you remember Kim Taehyung, he’s won multiple awards for his acting career, though you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him- and, if your judgment is possibly correct, then this party should be one of the centuries. Texting your co-workers in hopes of them joining, you whirl to face your fridge where you magnet the invitation- gleefully skipping to your room to lounge through your closet filled with evening dresses in anticipation of finding the one to match what you hope will be a gleaming night.

The pounding bass of the music vibrates throughout the premises once your stilettos greet the sidewalk. Groups of people stand among the front yard, drinks in hand, yet none of them seem to wear the faces of your work friends. Slow steps direct you into the white building that erupts the assumption that it can hold over a thousand people, and sure enough, that’s what you discover. Hordes of bodies grind upon the dance floor while the stench of the alcohol burns your nose mingled with the intense smell of marijuana. Lip-locked couples appear in every corner you escape to just to awkwardly shove through until you find a table adorned with finger foods and a blue punch you reluctantly decide to try. Munching on a cracker, you sip from your drink, letting the strong taste of liquor pool onto your tongue before swallowing with a grimace.

You have yet to recognize a single individual before you, not even the sight of Kim Taehyung, the host himself, has yet to make his appearance from what you’re aware of. Eventually, tired of standing alone next to the cheese cubes you’re tempted to eat, you make your way toward the entrance in need of a breath of fresh air. It’s then, while you brush past the bustles of people swaying along the dance floor, your eyes pause upon a familiar silhouette- one that momentarily gaps you enough to squint your eyes. When gazes meet, his expression changes into one of sheer shock which mirrors the way your eyes enlarge when it dawns on you just who you’re staring at- heart-pounding viciously when your breathing increases. It’s as if you’re frozen in time- nausea rearing within your gut which awakens you enough to turn on a heel- throwing away your punch on the way out.

The cool breeze hits you the moment you rush out the front doors, ignoring the curious looks of the strangers you brisk past- the awful feeling of being followed is the last thing you want to feel, your pace speeding up when, in the distance, you notice a clearing far enough to where the party wouldn’t be evident. In desperate determination, you precariously saunter in the direction, not even sure how to run with the pressure of not destroying the stilettos or damaging your ankle if one wrong step is made. It doesn’t take much before you register the pounding steps behind you, a frantic voice calling your name, the feeling of your phone vibrating within your clutch which causes you to squeeze your eyes shut with tears of frustration brimming- your steps slowing into a halt. You don’t want to see him. You don’t want to talk to him. You just don’t want to be here anymore.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N]! Wait, please!”

The bottom of shoes scuffles against the cement a few feet behind you while you shudder in fear. Eyes still closed, your shoulders tense from the proximity of the one person who you’ve mastered avoiding for two whole years- and, yet, you can’t face him. Not like this. Not now. Not ever. He’s out of breath from what your ears are picking up on, and he respectfully maintains his distance from you, your grip on your clutch tightening until your fingertips are a shade of white. “[Y/N]-”

“What the fuck are you doing here,” you sneer while the corner of your jaw clenches. Considering how famous he is, you vaguely remember the movie that jumpstarted his success, and you are semi-familiar with the co-stars who followed in the same direction. So, maybe it’s not necessarily a coincidence that he happens to be at this specific party? And, here you are, wanting to kick yourself for not even considering the possibility. You figure he must be confused with the way he stutters to reply, making mention he’s celebrating a movie he’s in, which sends your eyebrows furrowing with jumbled questions now plaguing your mind. The movie he’s in? “Okay? So then, what the fuck do you want,”

“I was- I was hoping we could- we could talk,”

Robotically, you gradually turn to face him battling the urge to cry from the anger rising beneath your chest, “Talk?” You ask incredulously, your body trembling from the anxiety attacking your system. You’re not wanting to see his handsome face, who’s eyes plead for your glance, conscious’ sharing the same memory that equally has haunted the pair of you unremittingly. Nothing about him has changed, you’ve gathered even from two years ago, and neither has the constant image of her face. The humiliation you experienced that day resurfaces, especially when the picture of her eyes discovering you underneath her covers while tepid anger darkened her irises along with the screaming for you to leave- suffocates you just as much as the dismay you felt finding his wedding ring that had been right beside you all night without your knowledge. “What happened to talking two years ago, huh? You had plenty of opportunity. You could have fucking told me you were married. Who the hell do you think you are?”

Seokjin winces from the cutting edge of your words, bowing his head ashamed before speaking, “I-I know, but if I would have told you-”

“You wouldn’t have gotten fucked,”

Panic widens his brown eyes while your heartbeat hammers to the point you can feel it in your temples, “No- No, I- That’s not what I’m saying. [Y/N], it wasn’t like that,”

“Wasn’t like that? Then what the hell was it, Jin? There’s no excuse. You had a wife!”

“I know,” the shame is too apparent to go unnoticed and with the rough scape of his palms colliding with his face, he gathers his bearings, raising his arms as if to calm you, yet you take a step back, refusing to let him inch any closer, “Just- just please hear me out.” Your shoulders remain tense, yet you’re frozen in place while he stammers, “Look, I- I know there’s no excuse for what happened. I don’t even know what else to say other than I’m sorry,” even the memory leading up to that rendezvous of the night seems to make an appearance causing your heart to turn with sadness you wish would dissipate into another universe, “I tried reaching out, but I never got a reply and I knew why, and I understood why, and I would do anything to take it all back if I could.”

Folding your arms tightly across your chest, you stare at the pavement below with lips pressed firmly together. It’s hard to ignore the chemistry that began the adventure to the coffee shop that day- jokes exuberating laughter that had warmth following even through the cold wind as well as the passion of his dream of acting being told to you while you shared your hopes and dreams with him. Two strangers. Just two strangers who felt as though the stars aligned for the both of you, yet your heart didn’t expect reality to come knocking, reminding you that everything is not always what it seems. And, that’s where the betrayal sets in- tears forming, the clench of your jaw is firming from having to fight the urge to cry.

“I’m so sorry, [Y/N]. I’m so sorry that I never told you. And, I am so sorry for what I did,”

It’s all coming back to you at once, and here you are still speechless. You can’t even look at him nor retain your emotions. How can someone who seemed so wonderful do what he did and think a simple ‘sorry’ would make everything better? In the end, he got what he wanted, while your side resulted with the scarlet letter of humiliation- her face will forever be embedded in your mind, and you wish you had the bravery to reach out to her, wherever she is. If anyone needs forgiveness, it’s you. Not him. Though in your heart you feel as though you will never deserve it, but ultimately, you will do anything to tell her that you’re sorry. Silence gripped the conversation a little longer than you realized, and with the profuse buzzing of your cellphone, your thoughts disperse the moment you hear Seokjin softly say your name, “[Y/N]?”

Tears rest upon your cheeks now which you immediately swipe away, sniffling before your pained expression meets his. There’s nothing in this world you want more than peace. Peace from this endless torture of a secret you have buried so deep within your soul- you blame yourself. You blame yourself for being so blind- and, standing here, before the man who destroyed your hope in what could have been- you step forward, “It’s her you should be apologizing to. Not me,”

“[Y/N]-”

Brushing past him, your heels stomp furiously beneath you, and your fingers fumble upon the screen in the goal of calling Stan. Whispered curse words slip from your mouth once the call ends, Stan only being fifteen minutes away from your location. Text messages decorate the majority of your notifications, and upon opening the group chat, embarrassment continues to flood your countenance while your eyes scan each message.

Taylor [7:21pm]: Hey, where are you??

Emmi [7:32pm]: Girl, we boutta meet Taehyung!!!! Get your ass out here!

M [7:46pm]: We’ll get you a drink just let us know where you are

Cody [7:48pm]: Are you already drunk? I scoped the restrooms and I don’t hear any puking

You can’t bring yourself to reply, so, therefore, you don’t- immediately shoving into the SUV the second Stan parks. You’re not surprised when Emmi tries to call, so with snuffling just enough to rid of the evidence of crying, you briefly answer, avoiding the concern glances Stan gives from the rearview mirror. It’s hard to hear your friend’s voice over the phone especially with how loud the music drowns the phone line, yet you assure her you’re fine- your excuse being that you’ve gained quite the migraine and that sleeping it off will be the cure.

And once Stan drops you off, that’s exactly what you do. Removing your makeup as well as your heels, the relief your feet feel once they meet your carpet as well as your figure from the tight dress you chose to wear this evening, you switch your ringer off and charge it on the desk away from your bed, refusing to even look at it. Numb limbs sliding under the covers, you let your pillowcase be the source of soaking your tears, wondering if life could get any worse than this.

Weakness dribbles its way along your body while you feebly stretch, greeting the morning with the same yawn, and the same aura of wanting to return to sleep, especially when the reminder of the night before seems to return in full force once again. This time, not wanting to ponder any further, thrusting the covers off your perspired frame to waltzing into the restroom, you brush your teeth before throwing on a simple outfit for the day- deciding to sit in front of your laptop before checking your phone.

It’s the strange feeling you have when your furrowed eyebrows stare at the device, screen blank as though it’s imitating your expression. It’s not long before you decide to check your messages, questions spinning the moment you see your screen light up with even more notifications than when you left the party.

Taylor [9:58am]: Okay, you have some explaining to do. How could you NOT tell us about this? Boss is gonna freak!

Cody [10:05am]: You know this is going to get brought up at work right. Boss isn’t going to let this go

Typing a message- You [10:06am]: Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to ditch you last night. I promise everything is fine. What do you mean boss is going to freak? Did I forget to send him the next idea for the skit with Son Ye-jin? Send.

Emmi [10:06am]: I should have known the paps were going to crash Taehyung’s party. What the fuck were you thinking [Y/N]????

“What… the hell?” Confusion borders every ounce of your being because you’re uncertain as to why your co-workers are involving the conversation about your boss. Only a second passing after you sent your message, the phone screen lights up with a call from Taylor.

“Hello?” You answer immediately, your tone in an obvious fright.

“[Y/N]?” Taylor’s sound reflects the same panic. Maybe it’s because she’s not completely sure if you’re okay? So, yet again, you proceed to reassure her,

“Hey… Sorry about last night, something came up-”

“Yeah, the migraine? I’m aware, but whatever you do, do not Google yourself,”

“What?” Sitting at the edge of your chair, your words are barely audible, dying off your tongue while your heart skips a beat. “Taylor, what do you mean? Why the hell would I Google myself-”

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on exactly, but pictures of you got leaked from the party last night,”

Pictures? Why would pictures of you be leaked to the press from Taehyung’s party? The only thing that happened that is remotely possible, revealing itself in your muddled brain, is the encounter with Seokji-

“Holy shit,” fear consumes you while your breathing increases, “No. No, no, no, no,” this can’t be happening.

“[Y/N]? [Y/N], are you there?”

“I have to go,”

Ending the call abruptly, your phone falls from your shaking hands while your widened gape remains upon the laptop in front of you. You’re clueless to how long you remain frozen, engaging with the burning question- the one that you keep asking on repeat. Clicking your laptop on, it loads until your login pops up- one by one you tap the keys until your password successfully unlocks to your desktop. Swallowing the lump in your throat- quivering fingertips eventually expose yourself upon the screen- the blurry pictures showing two frames- one being Seokjin, the other you- in a clear argument- even capturing the moment where he buried his face in his hands- and yet, you’re appalled by how close the paparazzi must have been, considering how you can’t believe you had been too upset to notice your surroundings.

Zoning to more pictures, there’s Taehyung- huge smile plastered beside other famous faces- showing the sweaty bodies dancing on the floor- others nearly showing the location just from the angle they took of the house itself. The pain in your gut nearly floors you when you scroll a few inches to discover numerous articles- the main topic printing your name in bold letters.

Kim Seokjin from the recent movie, It’s Definitely You, had an affair on now ex-wife-

A small video off to the side reveals a news broadcaster, her voice echoing while your ears tune in to the horrid sound, “[Y/L/N] [Y/F/N], Co-Host of Late Night in Seoul and Kim Seokjin from It’s Definitely You seem to have a feud regarding the affair on his now ex-wife-”

Kim Seokjin furious at the relentless [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N] for ‘tempting’ him into an affair

Gaze flashing through the titles, while muting the video, queasiness waves along your stomach to the point you can hardly process. Especially, when another article causes you to heave, making your heart drop to your knees,

[Y/L/N] [Y/F/N] had an abortion after her affair with Kim Seokjin

From that moment forward, your life changed into a world of running- in fear, in desperation, in a fight for solidity- you have remained running. Months pass after your boss threatened your job, confessing to your appearance on the show having to do with the decreasing views, not to mention the close call of someone following you home- Stan noticing right away before turning onto your street. Your parents have been worried sick, checking in on you as often as they can without you swinging by- not wanting any soul to find where your parents reside.

Groceries are now delivered to your home versus you taking the trip out in public- news of the affair hardly simmering down according to the magazines plastering your face upon all of them. Social media has been put on hold- refusing to scour the comments that have forever scarred your heart- something you’re uncertain you will ever heal from. ‘If you’re gonna have an affair on someone, at least make sure they’re pretty first;’ ‘Wow. An affair and an abortion? That cunt deserves to rot.’ The worst part of it all, even with the relentless questioning from who you thought were your peers, is the crazy accusation of abortion when you were never pregnant, to begin with. Standing up for yourself isn’t an option to you, because the partial truth is indeed, you were a part of an affair. One you had not an idea you were about to take part in. For all you knew, it was the innocent banter alongside Kim Seokjin that lead to a steamy endeavor- an endeavor that will forever deem you a whore. You didn’t know he was married at the time, and if you would have known, nothing would have happened.

For once, you’d like to have a moment of freedom, one where the wind sweeps you off your feet with the sun beaming down on your smiling face while your arms outspread before you in the joy of nature. If only that dream could be a reality you would finally be okay. Keen fingers fidget for your large pair of sunglasses while you gloomily gaze at the mirror- slipping them on before tying a floral cloth upon your head- disguising your hair you have now cut shorter in hopes of altering your appearance. There’s not a destination that you have in mind, but the need to breathe fresh air is all you can think about- soon prodding along the streets while your eyes scan every corner through your tinted shades.

The bus enters your view, deciding that maybe a trip to a random city is much needed. Preparing your money behind the passengers boarding, you pay the driver- scooting to an empty seat where you cuddle into the corner. Head kept low, you face away from the window since the paranoia of someone spotting you is still an avoidance you’d like to sustain. Lately, you’ve felt hunted, as if all of this is nothing but a game to the world. And, though you refuse to admit it, you’re still maddened by the attempts Seokjin has made to reach out to you, yet you ignore every email, stubbornly accepting the fate that you’re in this alone.

Alone.

That’s all you’ve ever been.

Bodies continue to float down the isles while you carefully observe each one, wishing you could be in their position- free and hidden from the public eye- never having to worry about their deepest secrets being uncovered- posted for all the world to devour. Lost in your little world, your scattered wishes disappear especially when your stare lands upon a woman – whose disguised behind a black mouth mask while a black cloth covers the majority of her hair, but it’s the way she carries herself that sparks your interest. The familiarity of her purse dangling from her wrist to the way her jaw curves- that’s when the thudding of your heart echoes through your ear canals causing a silent gasp to brush past your parted lips.

It’s her.

Flashbacks of two years ago smear your conscious- the shrilling pain that was engraved within her screams and the daunting way her eyes stared you down before you could grasp what exactly was going on. And, here she is, rows before you, taking her seat, completely oblivious to your presence slouching more into your seat. All this time you were too busy to think of how severe your privacy has been invaded that you never once thought of how all of this has affected her. Nipping at your fingernails, your anxious heartbeat has yet to calm- your mind fogged with nothing but the swirling wonders of how she has been, what she’s been up to, and of course, the main concern, what if she discovers you?

It doesn’t take but twenty minutes before the bus comes to a standstill, her carefully rising before making her way to exit onto the sidewalk. You hardly register your own moving footsteps- a few people behind her, yet your frantic eyes never leave her figure as she waltzes further up the street. Heavy breaths plague your lungs while anxiety smothers your being in a relentless frenzy, but whatever direction she’s headed, you’re determined to follow suit. The click of her heels fades with every corner she rounds while your converse quietly scrapes a few feet behind, trying to inconspicuously mold into the few pedestrians which you proudly stay in luck. If one were to ask why you’re doing this, you wouldn’t have an answer, because inwardly, you’re in the mindset of accepting that maybe you are unstable. But, maybe there’s just the revelation that you urgently want to know that she’s okay because if you’re too afraid to face her, maybe just knowing where she’s headed will give you a sense of peace?

Continuing your distance behind her, it dawns on you that the streets have become emptier and emptier, and the notice that she has stopped, you pin your back against a brick building, closing your eyes while you hold your breath. Waiting a few more seconds, you peer around the corner where she stands, her gaze scoping the streets before checking behind her which you efficaciously jump out of sight. She returns to what looks to be typing on her cellphone, and not much time passes before the accustomed sight of a black SUV comes into view. There’s a notable sticker faded in the corner of the windshield that piques your attention especially when you recognize the vehicle to be that of Stan’s.

“Holy shit,” your whisper is so low that barely you can hear yourself. Seokjin’s ex-wife throws her phone into her purse especially when a man exits the passenger side of the automobile gracing a boxy smile that you recognize to be Kim Taehyung’s. He’s fashioning a green tracksuit along with a red headband- his slim arms spreading to envelop her in a long embrace to where she buries her face within the crook of his neck. Sunglasses decorate his vision, and while he flickers his stance to ensure there is no one present, he turns to pull down her mask where he places his palms upon her cheeks, leaning in to plant a small kiss to her lips.

They enter the SUV, the one you haven’t been frequenting in due to current events, and you briefly press your back against the bricks once more in hopes of your hiding spot not being unraveled by the couple you happened to witness. Shock trickles your brain to the point that your nerves are shot because you can hardly make sense of anything anymore. Kim Taehyung is dating Seokjin’s ex-wife? Without Seokjin’s knowledge? If the whole world isn’t familiar with the pair, then why would Seokjin be? Is this how karma likes to play? Lurking into the shadows of the past just to snatch exactly what it needs?

Yet, you don’t feel sorry for him, because look at all this pain he has caused you. You were right, in your mind, a mere ‘sorry’ cannot fix the damage that has been done. But, in his ex-wife’s case, the damage brought her to what looks to be a stable, yet loving relationship, and that’s all you could have ever wanted for her. Tears brim your eyes while you squeeze them shut, the material of your shirt still scratching against the brick without wanting to move an inch. When a flash followed with a harsh click interrupts your seclusion, you’re not prepared with the yelling questions awakening you swiftly to the point of nausea-

“[Y/N]! [Y/N]! Is it true that you were fired from Late Night in Seoul!?” “Was it Seokjin’s decision to rid of the baby?” “Were you aware of-” “What will become of your career now-”

“Shit!” Your feet work faster than your brain, nearly tripping over the air to urgently escape the multitude of paparazzi now fresh on your trail. How long they must have been following you- you’re hoping not long- especially with the new revelation you viewed a few minutes before your identity was intervened. “Why the fuck can’t you just leave me alone!?” You shout, this not being the first time this has happened since the night of that damned party; wind roughly blows against your cloth that is now loose upon your head- sunglasses hardly staying in place while you scramble to anywhere that will keep them from catching up. Thirty minutes pass before you’re out of breath, bent over while your hand clutches your abdomen- it doesn’t take much before you spew up whatever little contents you have within your stomach. Your hand soon finds the cool surface of a building while the foul taste of bile stings your tongue- still bent over, you retch a few more times before you swipe at the corners of your mouth; wherever the press is now, they’re not behind you, and once you’ve regained your composure, you keep your eyes peeled. You hardly remember the return to your home, lifelessly scampering to fix a cup of hot chocolate before settling onto the couch for the evening. You haven’t eaten in days, and you know it’s near time to order more groceries, yet you haven’t had enough appetite to crave much of anything. Exasperation mingled with deep sadness are all you can feel at the moment- the events of the day taking a toll on you more than you’d like to profess.

Swiftly checking your bank account, you exhale a sigh of relief with how much you’ve been able to save before the loss of your job. And, luckily, your pen name hasn’t been unearthed from your previous job which is something you wouldn’t be able to handle after everything else. Staring at the wall, letting the heat of the liquid steam down your throat, for once you confess to yourself, that maybe you had never been as lonely as you figured before. For now, cold fingers circling your mug while silence hovers in the air, you’ve never felt so alone.

It doesn’t register when you take another sip, that the doorbell rings, priming you to slowly set your mug upon the side table- eyebrows greeting each other from the confusion that fills your expression. Your tired appendages gradually make it to the door, unlocking the deadbolt just for your fingers to grip the doorknob, the creak of the door opening, before your eyes, peek through the crack just to cause sickness to grip your abdomen.

Seokjin stares at you, desperation manifesting in his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing here!? And, how the hell did you find-”

“I can explain,” he cuts you off- light headiness consuming you while anger pools beneath your chest. Blinking a few times, you rub your fingers to your forehead while a small whimper escapes your lips. Before you can comprehend what’s going on, your knees buckle, eyes rolling back-

“[Y/N]!” A frantic voice sounds- darkness taking over before you hit the ground.

“So um, would you like to take a walk?”

It’s the gentleness exuberating from the soft, brown irises holding your gaze that builds a tender smile at the corner of your lips. Just seeing the way your eyes spark a hint of interest relieves a mirrored grin upon Seokjin’s face, his eyes searching yours as if he can read exactly what your mind is thinking.

“I’d love to,”

The mention of the coffee shop is brought up the second the pair of you turn in the direction of it- Seokjin asking for any plans you may have for the day which you gladly admit to not having any. Small jokes are shared the entire adventure toward the entrance of the store, the strong scent of the coffee immediately greets you whilst your laughter persists toward a smiling Seokjin who admits he retrieves his jokes from none other than Google itself. You’re very attracted, and you know it’s obvious with the way your chest heats from the nerves traveling within your system, yet you observe that you’re not the only one guilty of being jittery due to the apparent shade of red dawning the tips of his ears once again.

When he insists on paying, you shyly defeat, the balminess of the Styrofoam cups warming your hands as the two of you trail to a faded, blue couch just a few feet away from the counter where orders take place. Without thinking, you manage to take a seat at the equal time Seokjin does- your shoulder nearly smothering his from the proximity you absentmindedly committed.

“Sorry,” you murmur, scooting a few inches away to provide him space you assume he may prefer. The blotchy blush that has covered most of your chest now spreads to highlight your cheeks, but it’s what he does next that makes your heart melt faster than you anticipate.

“Don’t be sorry,” he grins- shuffling closer to you to drape his arm around your shoulders, squeezing you gently. His handsome face is so close that you wish you could kiss him- something you don’t typically desire to do on a first date- if this is even considered a date- but, the way he timidly holds your stare, you could give in to him right then and there.

Clearing his throat, you break your glance by timorously admiring the coffee within your shaky palms, “What brought you to the city?”

Sipping your drink, you ponder momentarily before answering, “My job mostly. Plus, it’s a new scenery too. I grew up more in the country,”

“Do you like the city better?”

“I do, and I don’t,” you shrug, “The country is quieter, whereas the city has more noise, but I do enjoy certain areas of the city, like the park, some of the shops around here,” turning to look at him, you’re curious to what he favors, “What about you? What got you into acting?”

Looking ahead, his eyes briefly scan the scenery of the coffee shop, “It’s always been a dream of mine, even when I was younger. I graduated from Konkuk University with a degree in acting and art last year,”

“Oh, wow that’s very impressive,” you compliment, “I know earlier you mentioned you had an audition tomorrow. Are you nervous?”

Watching him tilt his head, he keeps his eyes fixated in front of him, you nuzzling a tad more into his side, his warmth bringing a feeling you haven’t felt in what seems like a lifetime, “I am, but I’m also excited. I’m not sure exactly which role I’ll land, but I’m hoping for a movie. There’s a romantic comedy I’m very interested in, but it depends on how well I do,”

“Good luck,” you smile, “I think you’ll do just fine,”

The conversation continues into your dream of co-hosting a night show one day, though callbacks for your auditions haven’t been made just yet, you refuse to give up hope. It’s funny how the talk of mere dreams can lead to the topic of food- Seokjin jumping on the idea of cooking for you sometime, “Which prompts my next question,”

“What’s that?” Curiosity stems within you, while you lean back just enough to take in his expression.

“Do you know what raw duck is?”

Of course, eyebrows furrowed, your mouth remains agape, and you’re uncertain why you’re overthinking it, “Isn’t it-”

“Tornado,”

“Oh!” Burying your face in your palms, Seokjin’s original straight face contorts into one of heavy laughter- you bundling your face into his chest.

“You took me, seriously didn’t you?”

“I’m embarrassed,” you kid while your voice muffles into his sweatshirt.

Once coffees are downed and cups are cleaned up, Seokjin holds the door open for you while he speaks fondly about his sugar gliders, hoping that you’ll come to meet them sometime. You’re so lost in your enchantment with this handsome stranger that you don’t want to leave. When dialogue dims, your hands stuffing into the pockets of your trench coat, you can’t help the undeniable yearn to remain in his company, “Thank you, by the way,” your soft voice matching the breeze cooling your tainted skin.

“Anytime,” he replies with the same tenderness within his deep voice. Maybe it’s the way his eyes bore into yours that really set the pace, or maybe it’s the way his thick lips persevere to keep such a sweet smile intact, but before you can catch yourself, you close the small gap between your frames with the quick stand on your tip-toes- your hands moving to squeeze his shoulders while your lips meet his. He tenses at first, mostly from the rapidity of the gesture, but once your lips part with his to relock so smoothly, desire seeps in- his large hands move to cup your waist to where your chests press. Leaning more into his kiss, you deepen it enough to where you fleetingly dance your tongue along the tip of his, wrapping your arms around his neck to offer more permission.

Eventually pulling away, mildly breathless, you’re too dazed to speak- his kiss leaving fluttering butterflies encompassing your heart. Seokjin is just as mutually enthralled as you are, and you take note of the struggle he has to form any attempt at words, “There’s um, there’s- there’s something wrong with my cellphone,”

Confusion plasters every aspect of your face as you step away with the quick tilt of your head, “What? Did you drop it?”

“I don’t- I don’t have your number in it,” slipping his phone from his pocket, he hands it to you. Laughter erupts from you, overpowering the subtle increase in your heart rate.

“This has never happened to me before!” Quivering thumbs begin after the surprise while you carefully type your number. All smiles face the direction of a destination you’re uncertain of, and now, you could care less as long as you get to spend the rest of your time with him. Handing him his phone, he slides his arm around your waist- you envision what would be the stars aligning, answering every wish you’ve mustered in your conscious- one wish that eventually leads you to the front porch of his house where no words are exchanged- just the addiction of his kiss and the burning crave to hold him close until the sun gleams outside his window to wake you to the reality you seemed to so easily forget.

The smell of chicken broth fills your nostrils causing your eyes to flutter open whilst groggily trying to clear your jumbled mind as to where you are. Head throbbing, your stiff digits pinch at the heated skin of your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut just enough for a small whimper to sound from your dry lips. Clinking sounds reverberate from the kitchen while you skirmish to sit up, realizing the plush fabric of a blanket is evident upon your enfeebled legs. Remembering the arrival of Seokjin, you huff in frustration at the realization that you must have passed out from all the shock you’ve endured the past few months. When frustrated tears well within your eyelids, you can’t even bring yourself to move- visibly weak from the enervation troubling your form.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey-” it takes a prolonged moment before Seokjin turns to the sight of you awake, his voice barely rises from a whisper while he rushes to your side, holding his hands in front of him in preparation if you were to fall. You can’t find the strength to speak, so you remain in silence- nearly shoving his hand away at first when he cautiously presses it to your forehead, “You’re burning up,”

Not getting a second to process his words, he jogs to the kitchen where the familiar trickle of liquid is being poured into what you assume is a bowl while his careful footsteps trail back to your location upon the couch. You try to lift your arms, but they don’t budge; Seokjin tags along a mini step stool to where he takes a seat. The jangle of the spoon stirs within the bowl, and from the look of the contents he gathers, it appears to be chicken noodle soup. Steadying the bowl beneath the steaming spoon, he offers some to you. Skeptical, you hesitate, flicking your eyes of warning in his direction while your fingers grip at the material of the sofa. He can see the obvious doubt written all over your face, but he gestures the spoon and bowl slightly trying to convince you to trust him. It’s not that you think he’s going to poison you or anything, but it’s the wonder of why he’s even here, to begin with. Accepting the soup, the heavenly taste soothes a sense of relief to your body, and Seokjin continues to feed you until the broth is gone.

Gaining enough strength to turn your head, in your peripherals you notice a full glass of water, something he must have set out for you whenever you were to return from slumber. When he sets the empty bowl aside, he rises just enough to retrieve the glass, “Here,” he says, bringing the rim of the cup to your parted lips. You down half the glass, and with a sweet grin, he then takes the empty bowl to place in the sink while he refills the glass of water to the brim. When he returns to you, you muster just enough to speak, “Why-” you clear your throat, “Why are you doing this?”

Ease settles within his voice at the sound of yours, rubbing his hands together, he stares at them momentarily before bringing his gaze to you, “I wanted to see you,”

“But, how did you-”

“I paid Stan.”

Mouth falling open, eyebrows wrinkling- your look must be incredulous from the surprise you feel within your chest; you look away from Seokjin, not sure if you should be angry or what, but instead, you let out a chuckle, “You bribed my driver?”

Seokjin breathes a small laugh himself, returning his eyes to his folded hands, “Maybe,”

Shaking your head, you decide to lean back onto your pillow, relieving some of the fatigue weighing heavy in your mind. How Seokjin knew Stan was your driver, you’re uncertain, and for now, you don’t even care to know the answer. As much as you want to believe he is a good person, it’s hard to. What happened two years ago isn’t something you can just brush off and pretend never happened. Especially with everything that has happened thus far. And even though you should be angry, you want to be angry- one hundred percent infuriated – you can’t. You’re so physically, mentally and emotionally drained, you just can’t.

“I was never pregnant,” you whisper, unknowingly confirming a question he’s been hounded with- Seokjin lifts his head, mouth ajar with widening eyes. “And I’ve never hated you for what happened.” A tear dribbles down your cheek, “I just- I just don’t know what to say,” Fighting is no longer an option you want to deal with anymore. He’s already told you he’s sorry, and here he is, right beside you making sure that you’re getting taken care of despite the circumstances. On top of that, you’re not alone. For the first time since this whole scandal began, you’re not alone. And you know, from the way fame can tear individuals’ apart, that Seokjin probably hasn’t been able to find a moment of peace for himself either. Meeting his eyes, right then the tears stream harder- Seokjin rushes to you until his arms embrace you. Body trembling, you bury your face into his chest; all the pain, all the anger, all the stress, all the depression, and all the guilt flowing down your cheeks. You don’t want it anymore. None of it. Wrapping your arms around him, you feel his chin quiver against the side of your head. He doesn’t say a word. He just lets you cry. Just two strangers. Two strangers who made a mistake. Coming together with the sole purpose to find forgiveness.

And, when the morning comes, your eyes observe the serene view of Seokjin sleeping- the way his lips are parted while a wavy tint formed on his bangs from the way his head lays upon the pillow. He held you all night, and quietly, you tiptoe to your room because right now, there is only one mission you have in mind- and, there is only one person you plan on seeing. Gathering money in preparation, you send a text to Stan asking if he’s available for a drive. It doesn’t take long for you to get ready, throwing on some sandals to prevent the sound of heels from waking Seokjin. Stan pulls up, and with one more glance toward Jin, you lock the door behind you gently- skipping toward the SUV in broad daylight, determination burning within your bones.

Your breathing is heavy when you come face to face with the large, mahogany door- nerves numbing your fingers while anxiety takes a toll upon your tense frame. Mind racing, your heart thuds with the inclination of wanting to knock on the door, but you hold yourself back. C’mon [Y/N], you can do this. What the hell are you waiting for? Scolding yourself, you inhale and exhale slowly, closing your eyes. Composing yourself, you know it’s now or never- opening your eyes, the heat of the sun warming your back- you gesture to knock at the door, the exciting sound of a woman’s voice causing your ears to tune in.

“Coming!” Faint footsteps sprint to the door prompting you to draw another quick breath while the nerves tingle within your stomach. When the door opens, her eyes pause the moment she sees you- evident shock overwhelming her expression while she processes who she sees standing before her.

“Hi,” the greeting is soft when you speak, and you’re amazed if you were even audible enough to be heard. She takes a step back into the house to check behind her as if to make sure the coast is clear before returning her face to you, “I’m- I’m-”

“I know who you are,” she voices, catching you off guard, “How did you-”

Looking down at your sandals, you wet your lips while Seokjin’s ex-wife waits for you to reply, “I-I paid Stan,”

“You what?” You don’t expect the lenient chuckle that she graces and your clammy palms shove into the pockets of your coat while you gather the words you’ve been wanting to say for what feels like a lifetime.

“I know this sounds,” you begin while timidly looking at her, “I just- I needed- I just-” stuttering, you let out a long sigh, “I just needed to see you.” Your words seem to bring a spark of sincerity behind her eyes while she searches yours- folding her arms across her chest while she nods for you to continue. Bowing slightly, you take a moment before continuing, “I know it’s been a few years, but I haven’t fully recovered from what happened, and I will never be able to live with myself if I pretend it never happened, but… I came here today because I just needed to see you and tell you, I am so sorry for what I did to you,” the tears are welling in your eyes while your voice breaks, and although you don’t want to let the tears fall, it feels like these days that’s all you have left in you to do, is just cry, “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I never will. But, if I would have known he was married, nothing would have ever happened between him and I. Nothing at all,” when the evident realization to your words seems to fully process, she stands straighter while you timidly glance toward the ground, “In fact, if I would have known he was married, I would have told him to-”

“Fuck off?” She says, catching you by surprise while knowing smirk tugs at the corner of her pink lips. Understanding floods her gape which leads you to let out a breath of relief.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I would have said,”

She nods, arms still crossed, but the tension eases from her shoulders, “You didn’t know.”

“No,” you whisper, bowing your head once more ashamed.

“I believe you,” the conversation remains quiet for what seems like forever although it was only thirty seconds, before Seokjin’s ex-wife steps forward, “You didn’t even know I existed, so in reality, none of it was your fault, and I can’t blame you for that,

Seokjin and I were very young when we married, and… It wasn’t necessarily our choice. Sometimes when it comes to making your parents proud, you’ll do anything.”

“I’m-I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be,” she gives you a kind grin, “Besides, if it wasn’t for you then Jin and I would have never found a good enough reason to tell our parents why the marriage simply wasn’t working… And, I would have never found Tae again,” happiness is noticeable in her voice at the mention of Taehyung- something you still awkwardly know about but are too embarrassed to confess, “Seokjin checks on us every now and then. He and Tae have been best friends for years now-” For some reason your trachea decides to react to the comment she just made, muffling your coughs into the crook of your arm. “Whoa, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” You manage to say, feeling the flush of your face turning red. Seokjin and Taehyung are best friends? So, that’s how Seokjin knew about Stan being my driver. And, maybe that’s what he’s been wanting to tell you all along? But, with that being known to you now, would you have believed it coming from his mouth? “I’m sorry,”

She giggles, “You’re fine. It happens,” she shrugs, “A year after the divorce, Seokjin and I found a way to move past it. He apologized, I forgave him, and we found a way to start over, but as friends like it should have been all along,” holding her eyes, you still remain speechless while her soft grin never leaves her face, “And, I forgive you, too, [Y/N]. I forgave you a long time ago,”

When you feel as though the heaviest burden you’ve carried for so long has been lifted off your shoulders, the tears fall immediately whilst happiness exuberates within your heart. You’re not even sure what else to do, and that’s when she pulls you in for a tight hug whispering the truth that she determines the two of you will be best friends after today. And, that’s something you know you will like very much.

The ride home holds nothing but a smile upon your face; one you haven’t felt in forever. Of course, before leaving, you search your whereabouts to ensure not one cameraman captured the personal moment between you and Seokjin’s ex-wife, or in better terms, your new friend. Now, the guilt about the anger toward Seokjin, although may have been valid, still haunts you in the sense of not fully giving him the benefit of the doubt. Even though, in the end, you’re satisfied with how the peace that has been obtained was graced in the way it was. The paths you, Seokjin, or your new friend have endured have not been easy, especially being involved in the spotlight, yet it has made every one of you strong individually. Overall, maybe an interview can be held for the four of you to reveal there is no underlying issue between the two couples will quiet the world in the judgment that has so easily been cast upon you and Seokjin especially.

Walking into your house, you’re greeted with the aroma of frying eggs mingled with the savory smell of meat. The soft click of the door closes behind you while you slide off your sandals before inching closer to the kitchen. The view before you melts your heart- still in the same attire as the previous night, Seokjin’s messy hair sticks from all sides- he continues turning the meat then reaching to stir what looks to be a pot of boiling rice. Off to the side are two plates already decorated with slices of your favorite fruit.

He wasn’t the person you always assumed he was. An arranged marriage nearly destroyed two people, yet they found a way to reconcile leading him to change for the better. Trust may always be a mountain you will have to climb, but at this moment, gazing at him surprising a meal he so thoughtfully decided to prepare, you’re willing to hike as far as you need to until you feel safe in his arms.

“Hey, I-”

“WHOA!” Seokjin jumps back, eyes wide while his arms frail in the air; the cooking utensil flies from his quivering hand making a clanging noise once it hits the floor. Springing back, your hand flies to your chest, “What’s the matter!? Are you okay!?”

When Seokjin realizes it’s you, he bends forward to rest his hands on his knees, “Oh man, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come in,” Erupting in a bout of laughter, you can barely breathe, he blushes, “Yeah, yeah keep on laughing,”

“I’m sorry, I just- that was too funny,” slipping your jacket off, you walk over to hang it in your coat closet, then walking to the corner of the kitchen while you let Seokjin recover, “You don’t have to do this, you know,” you say tenderly- his back faces you as he carefully watches the cooking food. Without saying a word, he turns to look at you and grins along with a slight bow. Something ignites within you that leaves you contemplating on what you’re about to do- deciding in an instant, you walk over to him, slipping between him and the stove where your hands nestle on his waist just to place a small kiss to his lips. The gesture shocks him when he pulls away with dazed, yet wide eyes,

“What was that for?”

Holding his gaze, you slide your arms to fully embrace him, letting the truth fall from your smile in a gentle murmur, “I forgive you, Jin,”

He tenses, but only for a moment, as if to process the words he’s been longing to hear, letting your words sink in completely until he fully holds you, and you hope he never lets you go. Hearts pound together while the sound of sizzling food fills the silence. When the two of you pull away to face each other, he timorously bows his head as if to thank you, resting his hand on your face. Once dinner has been served and consumed, he gathers both of your plates while you follow him into the kitchen. He sets them within the dishwasher before turning to face you- drying his hands with a towel before laying it upon the counter.

“Do you remember what raw duck is?”

“Oh no,” you groan, leaning your head back in feigned irritation, “Please don’t say it,”

“You do remember don’t you,” he accuses- eyes sweeping your snickering face.

“I do,” you admit.

“Then say it,”

“Tornad-”

“I can’t hear you!”

“Tore. Nay. Doe,” Seokjin chuckles his well-known, high pitched chuckle as you pull him in for another hug, “Thank you for everything, you dork,” Warm fingertips find your chin, tipping it up to read your eyes. Before you can blink, Seokjin kisses you- your arms immediately wrapping around his neck while he leans more into you. Everything that the pair of you have gone through forgotten- because for now, away from the spotlight, the two of you can be exactly who you are without any fear of being exaggerated. You both can be human beings finally experiencing the one thing you’ve pleaded for since the day of first meeting.

Ultimately, there is such thing as redemption for those who will do anything to fix the mistake they made; for someone who is willing to change for the better and fight to make things right no matter how difficult things may appear. You and Seokjin are just two souls who happened to yearn for the same thing. The one thing you both needed to find peace again.

Forgiveness.

Not only forgiveness for one another or the forgiveness of the person wronged, but you both also learned, after all this time, to find forgiveness for yourselves. As Seokjin holds you, his kisses mesmerizing, you can’t help but feel the immense joy surrounding your heart. If there is anything, you want more in this world, it’s for this peace to last forever.

207 notes · View notes

soartfullydone · 4 years ago

Note

Ah, Miss Boggess, there you are. Timofey's been driving me mad. He said he's found you the most luxurious gown—I do hope you plan to contribute funds, this isn't Cresce after all—and he wanted to know what your preference in masks might be. I beg you not to be too gaudy, I refuse to be upstaged. And you know how Alderode can be when its women are too bold.

I don’t know if this is anything but oh well!

Melody squinted up at the wright who’d waltzed into her space, disturbing her work with his near-incessant chatter. Bastion was in a good mood, then, complaints about Timofey aside, which suited her because technically her space belonged to him. The entire safe house did. She had done her best to clear out the papers, books, empty wine bottles, and other assorted debris from a corner of the room and remain undisturbed while disturbing no one. That plan had mostly worked until now.

Mercifully, when she met Bastion’s black gaze, he was clothed this time. As ever, he wore that same silver torc she never saw him without and was swathed in black. The v-neck cut of his shirt extended all the way down to his naval, which was downright modest of him even if she did get an eyeful, sitting on the floor as she was. He towered over her as he braced a forearm against the wall in a casual lean, intent on having her answer.

With a sigh, she lowered her writing instrument and, bypassing his comments entirely, extended the papers she was working on toward him, all business. “Here.”

On each page’s surface was a series of facial composite sketches. She’d drawn every Ald and Sharte who’d been on that beach when the cache of First Silver was stolen to the best of her memory. Had done similarly for nearly every job she’d ever taken as an assassin. Killing the wrong mark was embarrassing—and clean-up was messier. Experience was the harshest and best teacher.

Which is why she knew she was missing something about that night. It eluded her as much as the identity of their mysterious thief.

“Well, I wouldn’t submit these to any museums if I were you, darling,” Bastion commented, straightening up and listlessly flipping through the pages. “I trust you won’t be offended by my firm refusal to display these. We’re both adults here.”

Melody fought back the urge to roll her eyes. “Is there anyone there you don’t recognize?”

His black brow lifted minutely, and he studied the pages more thoroughly, eyes passing over every face and noting the ones marked dead with an x beside them. “Only this ugly fellow. Such an unfortunate nose. I hope he at least gets his use out of it between a woman’s thighs.”

As he showed her the sketch, Melody did not check her smile. It was all teeth. “That’s you. Before the glamour dropped.”

“Such a generous perception you have towards us merry Alds. You even took me for a soud! Some don’t believe the Golds are true Aldishmen at all, you know.”

“Is that what you think?”

“My dear murderess, I have grown quite immune to the opinions of my countrymen.”

“But there’s no one else?” she pressed, nodding towards the papers in his hands. “No one who looks different to you because they might’ve also been glamoured?”

“Afraid I was the only wright who came prepared and armed with intelligence.” Bastion handed the stack back to her, a dry smile appearing on his lips. “Which is a glowing commendation to the clever bastard who managed to escape unseen with my Silver.”

“Our Silver,” corrected Melody, tossing the papers aside. So that had been for nothing. If she hadn’t been keen on killing their saboteur when they found him, she sure was now. Irritated, she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “So sorry I missed the lad. I was preoccupied ensuring that a certain prepared and intelligent wright didn’t succeed in cutting open one of my major arteries.”

“You should’ve shown your face sooner, little Sharte. It might have given me pause.”

Melody climbed to her feet, extended her arms over her head, and stretched. A few vertebrae popped, and her tense muscles loosened the slightest bit. She felt more than saw Bastion’s gaze travel along the arch of her back, but she paid it no mind. Behind his charismatic mien, she heard the dripping disdain he had for her. His client—Beadman’s buyer—might have botched the whole deal with the First Silver, but Bastion still pinned plenty of blame on her, the unexpected Sharteshanian wright who’d gotten in the way. For now, he tolerated her presence. He did not like her.

She felt the same way toward him, but reclaiming the Silver took priority over personal feelings. They would succeed and be out of each other’s hair much faster by working together than going it alone. Or so attending this Jet-only fête was supposed to prove.

“Timofey found me a dress, you said?”

“A gown,” stressed Bastion. “Regrettably, the event we’re attending is a respectable affair. On its surface, at any rate. No simple frock will do.”

“But let me guess. Full masks are too elaborate? Then, an eye mask is fine. I don’t care what’s on it, so long as it’s discreet.” If she was unable to completely hide her face as she skulked around, announcing her presence with a gaudy accessory wouldn’t help. In that regard, she and Bastion were in agreement. “I know my business, my lord. There’s no reason for you to be afraid I’ll top you—that’s not what I meant!”

Eventually, Bastion stopped laughing.

Eventually.

Melody didn’t know how Timofey lived with this man. In a figurative sense since Timofey wasn’t technically alive. At least the spirit seemed to like her or at least took some form of pity on her. If it truly was a gown he’d spied for her, that meant a long skirt. Which meant she could still wear her knives, including her dagger of First Iron. Thank the Twins. “If you do see Timofey before me, thank him, won’t you?”

“And when should I expect to hear praise fall from those acerbic lips, hm?” He shadowed her steps as she navigated through the cluttered safe house, past overturned chairs and tables overflowing with more papers, sheet music, cigarette buds, and half-full whisky tumblers. Without a hint of shame at the state of it all, he twirled a hand to indicate the room. “For providing you with all this?”

“Of course I’m grateful,” Melody allowed, her tone laced with irony. “My one regret—besides this whole thing—is that I can’t burden you less, but unfortunately, my benefactor has chosen Fachlyne for his roost. Only the most dangerous place in Kasslyne, but no matter.”

“You say that yet you haven’t even seen our shining capital! Although, that sarcasm of yours is almost charming. You must be a real brat in bed, aren’t you?”

She spun, fixing him with an annoyed glare. “Look, Winalils, about the gown. Don’t take this the wrong way—”

“Ach, an oft-used phrase that always achieves what it intends, but do continue.”

“The reason Timofey has my thanks is because I’m more confident that he has taste. I was terrified you’d be picking something out, and it would equate to dental floss.”

“So taking care of one’s teeth isn’t a total myth in Sharteshane.” Bastion’s mouth quirked, and he regarded her with half-lidded eyes, taking a single step closer. “For a worshipper of supposed divine beings, you have little faith. If I dressed you, darling, it would be to flatter. Death and danger each have their forbidden appeal, and a master assassin should know how to use both to seduce her prey. If you’ve never heightened your assets to such titillating ends—when you certainly have the ass and tits to do so—then perhaps we should change that sometime. Besides…” He was close enough for his cool breath to caress her neck. “Are you quite sure you’d mind overmuch playing the doll for me?”

Her face hot, Melody shoved him back into the edge of a table to his audible amusement. “If you’re going to be a fucking prick, I’d rather hash out the rest of this with Timofey.”

“He can’t take your coin. And as adorable as you look all riled up like a bitch in heat, that’s why I’m here.”

Jaw clenching, Melody thought about biting his extended hand. Y’know, if she was going to be such a riled-up bitch. Instead, she retrieved her coin pouch, which was nowhere close to full, and concentrated on counting out a suitable amount of sems rather than test Bastion’s knowledge of using pymary through touch. The coins clinked as they fell into his open palm, the grim sight of her dwindling funds cooling her anger.

“About that,” said Melody in a flinty tone, returning to business. “I didn’t exactly plan on an extended stay in Alderode, and the First Royal Bank of Sharteshane isn’t within walking distance. I was thinking we might amend our… arrangement.”

Bastion was already turning from her, waving a dismissive hand. “If you’re looking for charity—”

“We’re not going to find our man at this thing. Reconnaissance never goes that smoothly. We might find a lead at best,” Melody said, stepping in front of him. If he didn’t want to listen to her, he could offset away and leave her coin behind. “But that doesn’t mean it has to be a huge waste of time. Nobles are the same everywhere. They have secrets to hide. You want me to find those secrets for you, I will. Want to blackmail someone? Done. Need someone tailed after the party? Done. This might even be easier for me to do here than in Sharteshane. Women are just supposed to be part of the decor, aye?”

“Aye, except for here, it seems.” His words were clipped, but he gave her an appraising look, almost challenging. “They are also to stay where they can be seen, not wandering into forbidden places without an escort.”

“What’s that matter to me? My reputation here is a fabrication. I’m not an Aldish lady. I’m the Shade. I don’t exist.” Melody took a short, bracing breath, but what was the point in holding back now? “Listen, Winalils, this is the closest I get to selling myself, and I do take my business as seriously as a heart attack. At least tell me you’ll consider it.”

“I already am. What I’m curious about is what you want in return.”

“A guarantee of shelter. Food, clothes, just the basics. To know that when I sleep I’ll be safe.”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s all?”

“Aye. When I say basics, I mean basics. And I don’t want to pay for another fucking dress. Sell them after or give them to one of your lays, I don’t care. But if I drop coin in this country, it’s going to be because I—we—had no other choice. I’m not going back to—” Melody stopped talking, memories carding through her mind too quickly to land on any one. Her Sharte accent was thick as she ended with, “Anywho, those’re me terms.”

For the first time since their conversation started, Melody thought Bastion looked tired. His frown somehow deepened the perpetual shadows under his eyes, which had taken on an unreachable distance. As quickly as the sight appeared, it was gone. His chin-length black hair moved just so as he tilted his head back to look down his straight nose at her, his shrug as equally careless. “I accept them, provided that my end of the bargain will only be honored on the delivery of yours.”

“That’s how it’s done.” Melody jutted out her hand, ready to seal the deal the Sharteshanian way. A bone-breaking handshake—sans the spit. They were in plague territory after all, and assassin though she was, she merely flirted with death; she didn’t court it. Bastion’s hand enfolded hers, his long fingers encasing her own. Bloody pianist hands. It didn’t bother her at all to turn their handshake into a biting vise, didn’t surprise her that Bastion winced as his bones creaked ever so slightly.

What did surprise her and cause her whole body to freeze was when, on the third pump, he bowed low and brought her hand to his lips, his mouth landing hot on her knuckles. His wet tongue slid between the skin of her middle and ring finger, his eyes flicking up to hers when she hissed. His mouth stretched into an unforgiving, unrepentant smile.

The Aldish way to seal the deal, with a healthy side of Black Tongue.

Of course, she didn’t know that at the time.

#anyway bite me cassie #ca: observe my sins #cue scene #Anonymous #otp: a little death

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lonelypond · 7 years ago

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MoonLight Becomes You, Chapter One

Howdy! This is my @lovelivesecretadmirer2018 gift for @nico-nasty.The prompt was “Your Favorite AU” so here we are. No spoilers, you’ll have to read it to see, although there might be some guesses. It got more involved than I expected so I’m posting the first half. I hope that’s okay and you enjoy this, @nico-nasty. I tried to make it more Eli-centric than usual for me.

Love Live, NozoEli, NicoMaki, 5.7K, 1/2

Things Take A Turn

Eli Ayase, tall, blonde, quarter Russian, smarter and smoother than whoever’s standing next to you, was used to being stronger and faster and taller and hotter than everyone else. Part of why she had started hanging out with her housemate, Nico Yazawa, small, sable haired, dynamic, impossibly cute, was that Nico refused to be impressed or awed by any of it. Eli would wander into their bungalow’s kitchen and instead of drooling or dropping a dish or delivery a cheesy pickup line, Nico would just chuck a towel at Eli’s head and say, “Hey, Blondie, your turn to dry”. It was refreshing.

They’d met at Northwestern, both dance minors, and in the time honored tradition of Making It Big™, had moved out to LA together after graduation. The most serious disagreement they’d ever had was when Eli had discovered pineapple pizza and used their weekly take out splurge money on it. Eli was no longer in charge of dinner, ever. All food choices had to be approved by Nico via text or hand written note. Besides their Monday night indulgence, they took turns cooking, which led to their brightest idea, the Popcorn and Pelmini Podcast, where they talked movies and food, reviewing movies and describing the foods they’d cater based on the movies. LA was a hungry town in many ways and movies were everywhere, so Popcorn and Pelmini took off. Takeout went from once a month to once a week.

Tonight, Eli had strict orders to stop on the way home and grab pho and spring rolls, for a light Spring dinner, so she was was enjoying the walk through their Silver Lake neighborhood, after the afternoon at her part time job writing grants. While she lived for her chances to perform as a dancer or an actor, the solid job with the local performance academy allowed her to take a break and just focus on paperwork and meeting deadlines. It was soothing.

The afternoon had been bright, but suddenly there was a change in the wind and a bank of clouds raced in, darkening the day as Eli felt the wind push against her. Suddenly, her scarf whirled away, twisting down an alley Eli wasn’t familiar with. Her scarf twisted around a bike rack in front of two tiny storefronts, one had a sign with Cyrillic letters promising Tasty Foods, the other a crystal ball that mostly looked like a disco ball, painted by someone who’d never seen either. It was somehow a charming muddle, especially as it came with a whiff of rye, garlic, horseradish and dill from next door. Eli’s mouth watered at the thought of borscht or zharkoye, but before she could step into the store, a woman came out of the crystal ball shop. Tall, voluptuous, dark hair with an intriguing purple tint -- that was the only word Eli could think of to describe the curves the flowing fabric of a floral dress hung on, with turquoise eyes that caught Eli staring.

“Oh.” The woman put her key back in her pocket, “Are you here for a reading. I was about to close up?”

Sure, Eli thought, a reading, I can read books, you’re pretty, then realized that her mouth hadn’t actually opened, which considering what her brain had fumbled to was probably a good thing. Just stop at the first word, “Sure.”

“I’m Nozomi.” Her laugh almost tinkled, the smile was a soft, warm breeze and every waft of spiced air made Eli think dinner was cooking in her grandmother’s kitchen. She wasn’t sure she hadn’t slipped into the best daydream ever.

“Cool. I’m Eli.” Eli followed Nozomi into the store. Bookshelves, filled with knick knacks, books, candles, fabrics that looked hand dyed, and boxes of Tarot cards. Ah, now the reading offer made sense.

Nozomi led the way to a small low, wooden table in the back, two pillows on the floor, Japanese style. Eli was having a day where all of her ancestors were visiting. She hoped it was a good omen.

Nozomi knelt, putting both hands on the table, “So what brings you in for a reading?”

Eli was still taking in all the small details, so she answered Nozomi while twisted around, trying to read the book titles closest to her, “The wind.” Eli turned back to the table and now, Nozomi was watching her curiously so Eli smiled, “I like your shop.”

“The wind.” Nozomi reached under the table and pulled out a deck, “This is my oldest deck, I don’t use it much, but the wind rarely blows in such a…” Nozomi paused, “distinctive face.”

Eli took the deck, unsure if Nozomi had complimented her.

“Shuffle and think about what you’d like some insight about. Do you have a question for the cards?”

“Can I have your owner’s number” was not a question the cards could answer, Eli suspected. She wondered if there was going to be a change in the ordinary, orderly progression of her days. “Just some general advice.”

Nozomi’s face gave very little away but Eli might have guessed she was puzzled. Eli shuffled the cards expertly, Nico’s insistence on a monthly poker night had sharpened her skills.

“Place the top 3 cards face down in a row.”

Eli followed instructions, putting the deck aside.

“Now turn them over.”

Eli had, of course, seen Tarot cards before, but never really paid attention to the details. The first card was a man with a staff, holding off a group. You could only see the ends of their weapons. Cute little leaves were growing out of the staves, Eli wondered if that meant anything. She glanced up at Nozomi, whose face was once again difficult to read. Nozomi tapped the middle card, “We need to see them all together.”

“Makes sense,” Eli flipped the next card, which had a red devil dog person laying across the top of a clock that made no sense, staring at her, upside down winged creatures scattered at the corners of the card. Not even looking to Nozomi, she turned over the third card, still trying to make sense of the muddle she’d uncovered in the middle. Third card was an open fellow with a flower in his hand, setting out to travel.

Eli felt a little nervous. She’d never met the cards or Nozomi before, but she suddenly felt as if she’d let a secret slip out. But she had no secrets...well, except the big one, but if that came out in a Tarot reading, Eli would think Nozomi was the FBI agent monitoring her smartphone mic. Nozomi was now touching the center card with the tips of fingers, her other tapping on the table, “Not an easy read, Eli.”

“Does that mean I’m going to fly away, carried by upside down angels?” Eli really had no frame of reference for any of this, but was driven by an urge to see if she draw another bright laugh from the woman across from her.

Nozomi snorted instead, “The card is upside down, not the creatures. They’re all out of various mythologies. There’s so many hints woven together in each card. This is the Wheel of Fortune and reversed, well,” Nozomi hesitated, then rested her hand gently on Eli’s. Eli jerked a little at the contact, but did not pull back, “you may be due for some unpleasant changes and challenges as you roll through the cycle, but the seven of wands indicates you’ve conquered difficulties before so remember your strengths.”

“That sounds sensible.” Nozomi was giving Eli advice that could cover anything, but with the connections she was making with the images on each of the cards, the reading seemed less fabricated than Eli had expected.

“Expecting me to say you’ll meet the love of your life tomorrow at 3 p.m. and she’ll have…”

Eli cut off Nozomi, “No, I’m not that silly. I know divination, whatever your mystical beliefs, is a tool to sort through the things a person may be worrying about.” Eli reran in her head Nozomi ‘s last sentence, surprised at the “she,” but maybe Eli being a complete pushover about the reading had giving Nozomi a cue about her gay weakness for curves and sensuous smiles. “Besides, I’d rather have meeting the “love of my life” be serendipitous.”

“A romantic?” Nozomi took her hand from Eli’s and shifted the last card slightly.

Eli shrugged, “Not really. I just” and Eli grinned, letting her eyes do what she hoped was twinkle in a friendly fashion, “have expert level planning and organizational skills, which are great for work, but dating, dating should be something different...surprising, startling...serendipitous.”

Nozomi laughed. “You also have a distinctive mind, Eli-chi. This last card suits you, but don’t take offense at the name. It’s The Fool. It’s the bold start of a new journey, confidently stepping out to deal with whatever comes your way.”

“I like that.” Eli leaned forward, taking another look at the card, “He’s enjoying the air.”

“Maybe it’s a nice breeze full of Russian spices.” Nozomi swept the cards back into the deck, shuffling.

Eli chuckled, “Ah, you noticed I wasn’t checking out your shop. My grandmother is Russian. I miss her kitchen.”

“Today’s special is zharkoye. You should take some home to…”

Eli shook her head, “My housemate doesn’t let me deviate from plans since the day I decided to try pineapples on pizza. She’s expecting pho.”

“She’ll be wanting zharkoye, you know she will. She won’t mind. Just give her a wink.”

“You haven’t met Nico. My charms have no effect on her.” Eli stood, “but well made zharkoye might. It is technically soup with beef, vegetables and spices, and I bet they have dumplings so dinner wouldn’t be so far off from pho and spring rolls.” Eli reached for her wallet, “How much do I owe you for the reading?”

Nozomi waved away Eli’s offer, “Consider it a trial run. Just stop by again. Wednesdays they make an excellent zelyoniye shchi and everyday there’s borscht, of course.”

“You really like your Russian foods.” Eli shoved her hands in her pocket as Nozomi stood.

“It’s a very distinctive cuisine that has attracted my attention.” Nozomi opened the door for Eli. “Stop by when you figure out what the wheel’s turned to.”

Eli almost said “looking forward to it” then remembered that Nozomi had said “unpleasant changes and challenges” so nodded her head with a “Thanks, Nozomi” as she planned a dinner menu that would make Nico not mind the change in plan.

Eli returned to their small bungalow with two bags of food, having been lured by childhood favorites into spending more money than budgeted. Nico would go ballistic, but then she’d taste the food and downgrade her disapproval to minor grumping.

“Hey Nico!” Eli kicked the door shut. She could see Nico moving around in the kitchen, and then caught something out of the corner of her eye. Slouched on the couch, laptop propped on one of Nico’s impossibly pink pillows was a woman, red hair contained by a gray baseball cap tilted to the side with Refuse To Conform in a circular logo, dressed in green and purple striped board shorts and a black muscle tee. She glanced up casually, gave Eli a slow once over with extremely disinterested lavender eyes and snorted.

Eli put the bags on the counter, pointing over her shoulder as Nico moved to see what Eli had been diverted by this week, “Your stray looks feral.”

Nico snort was an echo of the mystery woman’s on the couch, “You should talk. That’s Maki.”

Still no help. Eli didn’t really like random strangers staring holes through her back so she pressed for answers, “Nico.”

Nico watched as Eli unpacked things that weren’t from their usual Thai place, “What did you do, Eli?”

“First explain Maki.” Eli hoarded the foil containers, enjoying the rich scents and knocking Nico’s prying hands back.

“Fine. You remember Nico was giving an interview to the Rice and Ramen cuties?”

Another snort from the couch, a burst of typing and as Eli looked back, Maki was sliding headphones over one ear.

“Yeah.”

“Well Maki was there. Turns out she does all their awesome music.” Nico hopped up to lean over the counter and blow a kiss in the direction of the couch, “So Nico talked her into doing some pieces for ours. It’ll take us to the next level.”

“NICO!” Eli knew her next statement would sound hollow when she’d just overspent their takeout budget on a nostalgia fix, but she said it anyway. “We can’t afford that.”

“She’s not a horse or my teenage brother so we can afford to feed her a few meals.” Nico opened a container and sniffed, “What is this?”

“I got blown into a weird corner with a Russian restaurant and a Tarot reader next door. She said they had zharkoye today and I couldn’t resist.”

Nico pulled out a spoon for a tasting, “Wow. Really rich stock. Nice. Nico almost forgives you.”

Eli unwrapped the steaming package of varenyky, “First you try the cabbage and mushroom, then later, the cherry and you’ll love me.”

Nico brought a stack of plates to the counter, “Hey Maki, you care what I put on your plate?”

“No.” There was a pop as Maki achieved full headphones.

“Is she actually composing music for us?” Eli ladled soup into three bowls.

“Yeah, she’s sharp, smart and really talented. Nico’s impressed.” Nico rubbed the end of her nose, “Plus, truthfully, Nico doesn’t mind the scenery.”

“Ha!” Eli was salivating, impatient to dive into dinner, but since Nico had drifted to that conversational lane, she confessed, “I met someone impressive today too.”

“Is she a Russian cook, because color Nico surprised.” Nico’s sardonic nature was a refreshing splash of tonic water in a world full of people outsmiling each other.

“No, the Tarot reader.” Eli sat on the stool, and started with the soup, having sampled the varenky earlier, “Her name’s Nozomi. She seems about our age. Not what I expected. Practical.”

“Practical.” Nico popped a varenky in her mouth, taking a moment for a brief murmur of enjoyment. “So what kind of package is practical wrapped up in?”

“Curvy.” Eli admitted, slightly adorable when abashed, not that Nico would publicly concede that.

“See, this is why we will always be perfect roommates,” Nico picked up the tray she’d loaded with bowls, plates and silverware and headed around the end of the island, “You like curvy and Nico likes...:”

Hungry as she was, Eli couldn’t resist the cue, “I’ve always wondered what Nico likes.”

“An audience.” Nico winked. Eli half turned on the stool to watch as Nico slid into the couch next to Maki, tray on the table in front of them. Eli was surprised to catch the redhead smile shyly when Nico was too preoccupied with food placement to notice. Maybe they were getting free music after all.

Eli had left her futon in the couch position. Usually, she went through her ballet exercises in the morning, but she had an audition tomorrow. She never enjoyed auditions...too many nerves, too many memories. Tonight, Eli felt especially jittery, almost feverish. A long session at the barre would help exhaust her enough to sleep. She’d be losing enough sleep tomorrow night.

Eli swept her long hair up into a ponytail, met her own eyes in the mirrored wall. Fierce determination looked back, a hint of sadness in the blue. Yes, tonight’s dinner had been a warm reminder of a time in her life surrounded by love, but it was also a time in her life when she’d been through the harshest of wringers, struggling to keep up with other children, other dancers, pushing down the queasiness as she stepped out on stage in front of a judging panel, desperate not to disappoint. Reaching a hand out to the barre, Eli breathed in, centered her weight and prepared to do her first GRANDE PLIÉ.

Nico had been lying in bed, a little restless. Maki had fallen asleep over her laptop, after Eli disappeared into her room so Nico had covered the composer with a blanket, sipped tea until the snoring started and went into her own bedroom with the door open. Sleepwear for new, cute, nice, if mostly inarticulate potential friend crashing on the couch? Nico had decided on fun SHORT sleep shorts with cartoon bunnies and a pink camisole. Why not be prepared for late night chat and sharing about music or dreams or professional aspirations. Nico fell asleep wondering what else Maki had composed music for and if Nico had run across her work during a voice acting gig.

“AAAAHHHHHHHH….no….get away from me!” Nico woke up, fuddled, heart racing, hair falling in her eyes. That wasn’t Eli’s voice. Nico sprang out of bed, hitting the light switch in the living room as she raced toward the scream. Maki was sitting up on the couch, staring around her, one of the glass doors next to the kitchen island open.

“Maki? Are you all right?” Nico shut the door, listening for anyone else in the house. Where was Eli? No response from Maki, so Nico moved back to the living room, sat on the table in front of where her guest was still looking panicky on the couch, hands gentle on Maki’s shoulders to command the redhead’s attention. Nico’s voice was soft. “What happened?”

Maki almost shuddered, “I...I think something sniffed me.”

“Hell…” So much for calm and softness. Nico snapped around and made for Eli’s bedroom. Sheets on the floor, no Eli, bathroom door open showing an empty room.

Nico walked slowly back to Maki, who quickly averted her eyes when she realized she’d been staring at Nico’s shorts. “Did you see her?”

“Her, who?” Maki was more and more confused.

Nico put her hands together, in prayer position, dropping her head into them and blowing out her frustration. She spoke slowly, “Was it a dog?”

Maki couldn’t read Nico’s attitude, “Maybe…”

“About this high?” Nico held a hand out, halfway between waist and breast height.

“Not sure.” Maki rubbed her cheek, “Just felt something damp and cold press against me.”

“Oh, Eli.” Nico muttered, ignoring Maki and heading back to the kitchen. The trash had been knocked over and bags from tonight’s dinner had been scattered, “What happened to you?”

Maki was standing behind Nico, suddenly close, “What happened to who?”

Nico turned, lip downturned, her face close enough that she seemed to be searching Maki’s eyes and decided to shoot off a question. “What’s your stance on cryptids?”

“Cryptids?” Maki had absolutely no idea what this conversation was about or why Nico was so intense or why she couldn’t stop staring at the tiny tiny flecks of deeper ruby flicked across Nico’s irises.

Nico stepped back, rubbing her forehead, then counting things off with her fingers, “Vampires, Big Foot, Yeti, Jersey Devil, Loch Ness Monster...werewolves…”

Maki tentatively decided to try breaking the mood, “Nessie always takes good pictures.”

Wrong move. Nico threw up her hands, stormed to the glass doors and a rant slowly gained volume and speed, “Wakes Nico up by scaring the life out of her, doesn’t bother to notice who sniffed her, then decides to be funny right when Nico has to figure out what to do…” Nico leaned forward, her hands on the doors.

Maki was having even more trouble than usual processing thoughts, due to being startled awake, events that made no sense, Nico’s rant continuing sotto voce, a craving for donuts and/or coffee, and being unable not to stare at the muscles of Nico’s legs as the hem of her shorts brushed them. “I’m…sorry.”

Nico stopped muttering and turned around, “Huh?”

Maki twirled a strand of hair, managing to almost look Nico in the eye, “I’m still a little fuzzy, maybe still partly asleep. I can help more with coffee.”

“Nico doesn’t have time for that.” Nico grabbed a bag scrap off the floor, “Dawn’s only a couple of hours away.”

“Dawn?” Maki guessed that had something to do with the cryptid comment, but it was only a guess.

“Nico has to get dressed. And play detective.” Nico dodged around Maki, heading to her room, but Maki’s hands were suddenly on her waist, spinning her.

“Explain. Please.”

Once again, Nico’s face was so close that Maki nearly stopped breathing, caught in a fierce scrutiny.

Nico gently removed Maki’s hands. “How about Nico promises to explain later after she finds her roommate?”

Maki’s turn to take a moment to consider what she could read from Nico’s face. Mostly worry, determination, some concern that seemed directed at Maki. Maki decided to trust Nico. “If you let me help.”

Nico nodded, then shoved a torn off part of bag at Maki, “Do you know where that is?”

Maki read the address, “Oh yeah, it’s pretty close to a few clubs I know. I didn’t know anything new had opened there.”

Nico tilted her head, recalibrating, “And Nico thought you spent all your nights on other people’s couches. Not out dancing.”

Maki decided not to answer as she calculated the best way to get there.

“Nico will be back in two minutes. Grab a snack out of the cabinets next to the fridge. Sorry about the coffee, we’ll stop if we find a place.” Nico paused and glanced back, “Pull some raw meat out of the fridge, there’s chicken. Storage bags to the left of the sink.”

Food would help Maki makes sense out of this morning. Being woken up by some kind of animal -- who has a ‘cryptid’ crossing in their living room -- hadn’t been pleasant, but watching Nico crisis solve in her pajamas was kinda fascinating. Maki didn’t mind following along for the ride.

Nico was driving, telling Maki to look out for a fluffy greyhound type of dog, nearly three feet tall, very light fur. They parked a couple blocks off the restaurant's corner. Wind was starting to whip up a bit so Maki zipped her hoodie, chasing after a Nico who was moving nearly as fast as the car had been, head snapping from side to side. Maki found herself listening, but it was still predawn enough that the birds hadn’t hit yawning yet so the air was a mix of distant cars and rustling leaves, with the faint thump of a bass line amped somewhere to the west. Maki pulled out her Tascam and hit record as she walked. It might fit nicely into a set when she wanted to slow down the mood for the night.

Nico stopped, which Maki only realized when she nearly caused Nico to fall, drawing a hiss from the shorter woman.

“Sorry.” Maki pocketed the recorder, wondering what caught Nico’s attention. A moving white animal seemed to be rustling in a pile of trash.

“How did she do that…” Nico muttered, walking quickly, but careful to stay calm, “Hey, Eli...it’s Nico. We need to get you home. It’s almost dawn.” Nico opened the bag of raw chicken. “C’mon.”

Eli. Maki just stood there, watching Nico approach the……...dog? Cryptid? Creature? Quick inventory, four legs, tail, not hunched over and tearing a spine out of someone, wait what if it started tearing the spine out of....Maki found herself slow running to catch up to “NICO!”

Nico didn’t turned but waved Maki back, which Maki ignored. They were approaching the two storefront corner now and the...creature...paused, sniffing. Then a light went on in the storefront without weird partly Greek writing and Nico and the creature turned, the creature with a single bark.

“Can I help you?” A tall woman with purple tinted hair loose around her shoulders stepped out of the door.

Maki glanced to Nico, who sighed, “Hi, new person.” Nico pointed, “Nico needs to get her into my car.”

Maki, hand on Nico’s shoulder, watched as the creature slowly, skittishly sniffed the newcomer, who knelt and smiled, hand out “That’s a popular hair color on this block, recently.”

“No it’s not.” Nico zoomed in, bag under the nose as the creature whined and stuck her snout in and started chewing. “Come on, E…” Nico coughed, “come back to the car, you. Nico needs her beauty sleep.”

Hopping backwards, Nico seemed to be successful in her attempts to lure as they were getting closer to her car. Maki jumped ahead to open the back door, which they’d left unlocked for quick grabs, then stepped to the side. Nico tossed the bag into the back seat with an urgent, “You can do it, get the treat, c’mon, do it for Nico.” The creature stared at Nico for a moment, then climbed into the seat. Nico shut the door and leaned back against the car. No way the chicken and drool stain was coming out easily, but that would be Eli’s problem, not Nico’s.

“Thanks, person Nico does not know. Sorry to disturb you this early.” She stood, “C’mon, Maki.”

Maki was pretty sure she should be offended that Nico had used that same tone of voice on the creature, but she slid into the passenger side as Nico tried to get around the new person. The creature had settled into the back seat and was licking its paws so Maki rolled down her window a bit.

Nozomi held her arms akimbo, “It’s no problem, Nico, right? I’m Nozomi. I was just up to go to the temple I volunteer at. That’s a beautiful dog.”

“Thanks.” Nico grumped, “She always attracts attention. And now I really have to get her home.”

Nozomi was confused by Nico’s brusqueness, which didn’t slow Nico down at all. She was in the car, turning the key in the ignition and giving Maki orders before Nozomi managed to say “Have a nice day.”

“Grab the blanket out of that bag at your feet and toss it over Eli, please.” Nico hit the accelerator. If it had been a manual, she might have shredded the clutch.

Maki unzipped the bag, “Okay, why? And why were you so rude?”

Nico turned from the road to grit her teeth at Maki, “Nico is always charming. But Eli is going to be a naked blonde woman in another couple of minutes and I know she’d prefer we all spare ourselves that sight.”

Maki shrunk a little, suddenly reminded this wasn’t an ordinary lost dog hunt and Nico still had a lot to explain.

Nico reached out a hand and patted Maki on the knee. “Thanks for helping out, Maki. Nico has to solo too often. It’s nice to have company.”

“Yeah,” Maki yawned as she dropped the blanket over the seat. She was ready to fall asleep again, as uncomfortable as Nico’s couch had been.

Something thumped into the back of Maki’s seat with a whimper, followed by a brief howl whine. Nico was holding her breath, hand frozen on Maki’s leg, “Eli?”

“Nico?” Rustling noises now and maybe some crying, but Maki didn’t want to turn around. She sensed that that would not be a Nico approved choice.

“It’s all right, Eli. We found you. You had a Russian food craving.”

“Why did I…” Eli’’s voice shook, fearful…”was that Nozomi?”

Nico’s hands were now both on the steering wheel, knuckle white grip, while her voice spilled comfort. “Yeah, but she just thought you were a lost dog.”

“Nico…” Another cry.

“Don’t worry about it, Eli. We’ll figure it out after we get home. Is your head hurting?”

“Yes.”

“Nico brought some aspirin, Maki’ll get it out of the bag for you, please, Maki.”

Maki nodded and Nico smiled. The pill and water bottles were easy enough to find. Maki handed them over the seat to Eli, whose eyes were red and almost as runny as her nose.

“Here you go.” Maki cleared her throat. “You don’t have to worry about me. I don’t talk to people. It’s just...well, Nico obviously needed help.” Nico snorted.

Eli nodded, her voice a tired mutter. “Thanks. Nico does a lot. She’s pretty amazing.”

Maki grunted. Nico crowed, hands loosening on the wheel, “Nico has a fan club now. Let’s hear some cheers, pretty girls.” One hand flew up to her temple, “Nico Nico Ni.”

Silence greeted that initiative but Nico couldn’t throttle back her cheeky grin. Which Maki couldn’t resist echoing. Eli just moaned, curled up in the blanket, miserable, head throbbing from trying to run wolf senses through human circuits. Nozomi had sounded so kind.

Maki had settled back in on the couch, Eli had gone to shower and Nico was making coffee. She wasn’t getting any more sleep and she doubted Eli would. Maki had been silent when they hit the house, yawning and stretching out under the blanket, still in her hoodie. Nico wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or worried by how noncommittal the redhead was. But that wasn’t the immediate problem. The immediate problem was that Eli only ever turned one night a month and last night wasn’t it. Or else Maki would not have been on Nico’s couch. Tonight, tonight, Eli would have been prepared. Tonight, no one would be on the couch and Eli would be sedated and sleeping it off like a bad hangover.

Eli sat down at the island, hair still wet, blue striped dress shirt still not tucked into her pencil skirt; Nico pushed a mug of half hot chocolate, half coffee her way. Eli smiled at the smell, “Thanks for the treat, Nico.”

Nico shrugged, swigging from her own mug, half coffee, half home made vanilla bean coffee creamer, “You had a rough night.” Eli nodded. “Do you know what happened?”

Eli shook her head, then opened her mouth to wave off the heat from the hastily gulped drink. Her throat was now going to hurt as much as everything else today. Cheerful. “I was restless, I didn’t actually think I’d get to sleep…”

“Nervous about the audition?” Nico asked.

Eli closed her eyes with a sigh, “Always. Then…” Eli rubbed her forehead, aggressively, Nico almost considered pulling away her hands, “there were smells and I remembered...someone friendly...and you were there...and I was hungry and wanted to go home???” Eli preferred treating being a werewolf like a sick day spent recovering from outpatient surgery: plan around it, refuse to let it disrupt anything and stay in bed to aid recovery. Very Eli. Control the problem, organize the symptoms.

“Nozomi was there.” Nico mentioned casually.

“I know.”

“Do you think it was because of her? This all started at puberty right, maybe it’s hormones?”

“Oh, and I’m suddenly going to “alpha” and start jumping on anything in heat?” Eli’s voice was scornful and she finished her drink quickly, the better to storm off.

“Eli,” Nico grabbed Eli’s hands, trapping them around her mug, “I didn’t mean that. It’s just…” Nico’s hands were warm, “people act differently when they’re attracted to someone. It’s not rational. And this close to the full moon, it might have tipped you…”

“That’s ridiculous, Nico.” Eli’s voice raised, Nico glanced to the couch. “I am in control of my emotions.” Eli shook off Nico’s hands. “I don’t know why it happened, but I will be making sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Okay, Eli.” Nico deliberately ignored all the screaming alarm flares that Eli did not actually have the situation under control, “Just tell Nico if you need any help. I’ll make sure Maki’s not around tonight.”

“Thanks Nico.” Eli stood, tucked her shirt in, ponytailed her hair, buttoned everything but the top button and became All Business Eli. Nico, a master of presentation herself, was always impressed by how Eli never cracked the polished, professional, emotionless facade. If Nico hadn’t caught Eli sobbing, drunk and vulnerable after a bad breakup, one night their freshman year, Nico might have never known the caring, emotionally clueless, mischievous, sometimes straight up silly person under all the imposed self control. Dancers always pushed their bodies, training their minds to overcome pain. Eli practiced that on her emotions as well. Nico’s job as a friend was to get Eli to ease back on herself, but it was a struggle.

“Are you going to wake her up?” Eli asked, gesturing over her shoulder at the snoring redhead.

Nico’s answer was no, she was going to sneak out quietly and leave a note for the too cute to disturb visitor, then hurry home after her meeting with her agent, but she knew Eli wouldn’t approve of that. So she hedged. “Nico will take care of it.”

“Good.”

It had been a quiet morning at the shrine. Nozomi was back home with a cup of tea, pondering the scene this morning. The small, dark haired woman had been behaving suspiciously with the taller redhead obviously half a step behind on whatever the plan was. They didn’t live in the neighborhood, so their dog must have wandered. Unless it was drawn by the smell of the Cafe next door. Perhaps it was one of those Russian wolfhounds, Nozomi thought, bolshoi, no borzoi. She, Nico had called her a she, had seemed quiet, shy. So not a boisterous borzoi, Nozomi giggled to herself. Perhaps it was drawn by the smell, this morning, there was strongly spiced tea in the air, probably with dense, sweet tea cakes ready to dust your fingers with sugar. Thinking of the menu next door brought back a memory of yesterday afternoon and the tall Russian food aficionado with the twinkling blue eyes. She wondered if Eli liked sweets, maybe she should start keeping them around in case the Wheel of Fortune rolled Eli back into her shop. Ah, but Nozomi stopped herself there, it was no good wishing for tall, pretty, stacked blondes with smart cerulean eyes to return, the Universe didn’t work like that. Although, perhaps a trail of Prague cake slices would work if Eli really did have a sweet tooth.

Nozomi sighed. She obviously wasn’t getting Eli off her mind this morning. She reached for her deck, the same one she’d handed to Eli and dealt three cards. After a minute to center her feelings, she turned them over. Five of Swords. A problem card. Next. Death. Nozomi drew a breath. Change. Upheaval. She rarely drew that card for herself, settled into a routine that brought her satisfaction, if not joy. What would the Future bring. Nozomi stared at the Queen of Cups, blonde hair cascading to her shoulder as she sipped from the cup where her emotions and thoughts gathered. Nozomi tried not to see Eli there, on a throne, graceful hands bringing up the cup to her glistening mouth. Nozomi, startled by the vividness of the image, swept the three back into the deck, discomfited. What did the cards have in store?

A/N: Hi! This was a gift for @nico-nasty on Tumblr. The prompt was Eli, Kanan, Nico, Maki and "your favorite AU." Which I was forced by my wife to admit was werewolf so here we are, an Eli-centric Bibi werewolf AU. The plot got more complicated than I expected (color no one who follows my stories surprised) so this is the first half. I'll be working on the second half in the beginning of March (i have a Christmas fic to finish and Casual Lunacy to continue). Hope you enjoy!

Also, there’s a playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLko9fiFcKQ05lK_hHMrTy790lh4LIwDLp

#Love Live #Ayase Eli #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #Bibi #love live secret admirer 2018 #fanfic #tag and search test

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