#while I was writing this I accidentally pressed ctrl + z

[vilevampire]

idk who those people are would u like to educate me...

GLADLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just to preface this I'll explain what the fuck is going on in mairuma in general first just to provide context bc idk how much you've absorbed by osmosis (also I rmr I told u abt mairuma once on discord but . I don't rmr a single thing that was said in that convo, only that it happened)

buckle up bc this ended up getting pretty fucking long

"mairimashita! iruma-kun" is an ongoing manga and anime series that revolves around iruma, a human boy who got sold by his parents to a powerful demon and started living his life in the netherworld.

this is he. baby boy. his new demon found family enrolls him in demon school, and so while hiding the fact that he is human, iruma starts attending babyls demon school. his new grandpa (who happens to be the chairman of said demon school) puts him in a class for problem children, saying "that way your classmates will catch more attention than you, and you won't be found out (as human)!!!!"

makes sense ? no, of course not, but this is a comedy-focused series, so that's just how it is

iruma and his classmates. they're called the misfits class. I love all of them (except for … one …) dearly and could ramble abt each individual character for hours but for now I am only focusing on jazz and allocer. starting with jazzy my boy jazzy

baby son boy he is just a little guy just a little man he's just a son. jazzy is a character who is seen as cool, clever, unapproachable and mature to most other characters but is actually a huge softie inside.

he's also a kleptomaniac but he doesn't usually steal shit on purpose, it's just habit. if you ask me he's done nothing wrong in his life ever

(irrelevant tangent: jazzy actually has a specific animal theme. can you guess which animal it is ??????? I'm just fucking with you it's impossible to guess, but he's supposed to be snake-themed. the only thing that even suggests that in his design is his forked tongue, but it's. not visible most of the time so it didn't even occur to me that he was supposed to be snake themed until. embarrassingly recently. anyway)

jazz has a terrible older brother (named rock. their names r jazz and rock. like the moosic) who steals from him and belittles him constantly, but he can't fight back because his family values skill above all else, so they consider it his own fault for being vulnerable to stealing. basically "git gud lol"

because of this, jazz longs to be a better older brother than his own, despite not actually having any younger siblings. he becomes attached to cute, defenseless-looking things easily and is weak to people who look up to him and ask him for help. he likes beeing relied on and being there for others. he starts seeing most of his classmates as his younger siblings too

basically he is just a little guy and bc so much abt jazzy reminds me of myself (including his black and red color scheme) I am incredibly attached to him and he's my #2 fave character in the whole series (the first one is … well, you can probably guess)

now about allocer … where do I begin. probably by saying we know little to nothing about him, and not because the author particularly intended him to be mysterious, but just because he doesn't get much attention in the series as a whole. despite being one of the main side characters, he gets sidelined incredibly often. he's forgettable, rarely relevant and overall one of the characters we have least information on

look at him and his goofy lion face. there's no reason for him to be so ignored, it's furryphobia plain and simple.

(side note: over the course of the series his character design becomes increasingly yassified and he lets his hair grow + dyes it so don't mind that he looks slightly different in almost every picture he's in)

regardless I'll do my best to tell what we know FOR SURE 100% CANON CONFIRMED about him and then I'll dwelve into theories and hc territory (all supported by canon info, but still pretty speculatory bc of how little info we have on him in general…)

first of all he is smart. second of all. he reads books. third of all. he scored #1 in all exams. fourth of all … he is smart. that's it. wish I was kidding, but that's what his character revolves around most of the time. he gets outshined by other characters all the fucking time and usually just shows up to spout a proverb or say something related to knowledge and wisdom.

aside from that, his characterization tends to be pretty inconsistent (because the author doesn't give a FUCK about him) but I'll report on his most consistent traits and ignore the . multiple . inconsistencies.

allocer is a reserved character who doesn't talk much about himself (this is intentional at least to some extent, evidenced by the picture above). he seems to be kind of awkward, the way he phrases things tends to be unnatural, too. compare these phrases:

(I'll get to what the fuck is going on in this scene in a second I just need to ramble about allocer first)

jazzy speaks in a much more natural, conversational way, saying "what are you saying…?", while allocer simply says "incomprehensible". when he's not speaking in proverbs and book quotes, he often drops weirdly-worded sentences like that.

there's a few different scenes that help us infer that he's not good at dealing with people and emotions. for example, his fanbook profile lists "women's feelings" as his weak subject. when he gets confessed to he also states it's "abstruse", aka confusing and hard to understand

basically what I'm saying is that he's arospec and autistic-coded and nobody can change my fucking mind ok if anybody wants to argue w/ me on this I hope you've spent at least half the time I have studying every major scene allocer is in like I have. I have lost my entire fucking mind trying to infer ANYTHING conclusive about his characterization out of the NEAR NONEXISTENT CRUMBS canon has given us.

with that out of the way I can finally start talking about jazz and allocer's dynamic ^_^

jazz and allocer first become close when they're assigned to train under the same mentor, general furfur — love this guy btw — before performing in the "harvest festival", a kind of practical exam every first year at babyls has to do.

yet, for some reason, instead of actually training the two, furfur takes them to a bar. jazz and allocer question this, but furfur shrugs it off saying that connecting with adults is part of their training.

spoiler alert: furfur is a little shit and he brought jazz and allocer here to sell them into child labor to pay for his debts with the bar (remember the pictures from a while ago that I used to compare their speech patterns? that was them realizing they were being sold. lol)

and so the two of them r stuck in hell together for the next 3 weeks

(side note #2: I love their matching outfits. they look so cute)

in this hostile environment, a weird partnership forms between them. they learn more about each other. jazz tells allocer about his evil fucked up brother and how frustrated he is that he couldn't see through furfur's bullshit, to which allocer replies he is actually just as upset.

allocer's face isn't very expressive and his voice is often monotone (again, autism…) so jazz is very surprised by this.

AOAOOGUGGGHG LOOKK AT HIS BLUSHY FACE … HE'S SO CUTEEE AGG89R9. I'M normal . I'm ok.

the two of them start working towards a common goal: HUMILIATING FURFUR AND SEEING HIM CRY.

anw long story short they come up with a plan using every dirty trick they learned from the adults at the bar, their plan doesn't fucking work, they get made fun of by furfur, and they're still stuck working for free. lol

but that's how their relationship forms. what I find so fascinating about them is that they have no reason to trust each other given the circumstances, but they still do. they form an unbreakable bond. they complement each other too, one being streets smart, while the other is books smart. the partners in crime ever.

also mairuma has these little after-credits side stories called sukimas and . I will let the video speak for itself bc watching this is what made me start shipping them in the first place. just watch

they have more interactions I could talk about in-depth, but their partnership during the harvest festival arc is the most major. still I'll briefly go over some other jazzllocer moments that make me insane

at some point during the harvest festival, jazz gets disqualified (long story). and though jazz and allocer were working together during it, they were never an official team, so allocer wasn't disqualified with him. still, near the end, allocer states that "there's no point in winning if it's not together (with jazz)" (thinking abt this makes me want to detonate myself like a bomb)

when they're second years, they're put in another exam and in this one each of the misfits is supposed to protect two first year students from the teachers hunting them. jazz's strategy? he entrusted his incredibly important protegees to allocer and confronted the teachers upfront as a diversion. in the end allocer couldn't protect his own first years, but he did protect jazzy's, which earned his buddy a rank up (once again I feel like exploding at this very moment)

3. mairuma has fanbooks and that includes character profiles with some trivia on them, including a "people they are currently paying attention to" section. in jazz's profile, allocer is the first one listed there (meaning he's the one he's paying the most attention to), followed by general furfur and his brother. in allocer's profile, jazz is the first one listed, followed by furfur again and then a teacher he bonded with in a diff arc (if you can't read japanese you'll just have to believe me on this one)

btw despite ALL OF THIS canon interaction, these two r a very rare rarepair. they don't have a romantic ao3 tag bc nobody has ever published a fic w/ this ship. the ONLY fic under their platonic tag isn't even about them, they're just side characters in it. every day this fact alone spirals me into further despair and insanity. I am so fucking unwell literally rotting I am deteriorating flesh and bones losing every ounce of my fucking mind I hope at least ONE person reads this deranged ass ramble and starts to at least consider this ship bc I can't take it anymore they ahve NOOOOO CONTENTTT AAAAOGIGGHHGGO SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTTTT G924488948 gets put down like a rabid animal

[lunaetis]

@avaere asked :

There is a letter addressed to no one else than Eula Lawrence, her named written with such pristine caution, yet scribbled by the hand of someone whose writing has been neglected for the sake of weaponry;

"Dear Eula,

The lantern rite is growing near and i find myself far more occupied on these busy days. Swirling around in the street is various food, stalls pulling up, readying themselves to partake in Liyue's highlight. You would enjoy this, I am certain; maybe we could share drinks under the lanterns some day? To walk the pier of Liyue alongside you would do me well.

I miss you, and the days without you grow tedious.

In moments of solitude I find myself dreaming back to our heated moment in the moment. The memory of your lips against mine, hands on my chest, keep me warm on nights the cold prove bothersome; I have never felt such belonging as the one I found within our entangled hands, lusting bodies.

Next time I want to feel all of you, over and over again. I want your hands around my shoulders, your breath mixed with mine... even writing this makes my chest ache with desire, longing.

Would you meet me in Liyue for the lantern rite? For you I would make time, all the time you'd want and need. I would show you the beauty of the Land of Mora, even though it falls bleak in comparison to you, and we could wish together under the lanterns (I will show you how).

The way you uttered my name under your breath still rests with me on lonely nights... It keeps me company for the time being, making sure nightly hours go by faster.

I hope to see you,

I will wait for you in Liyue.

Yours truly,

Ajax."

LANTERN RITE ( unprompted. ) || always accepting

─「エウルア」─  heels clicked against the street lined with cobblestone, making a rather distinct sound as the KNIGHT CAPTAIN stepped out of the ordo favonius headquarter. the latest expedition and mission had been a success and with the report itself being given to the acting grandmaster, the lawrence heir paused her step for a moment, pondering her next move now that she was given a bit of a FREE TIME after a long mission. the knight had sent her team members back to their homes, knowing how their families would want every second they could give now that they were back in mondstadt. the night air was, in a way, quite comforting. dual-colored hues lifted upwards, only to take notice of something.

                a ... bird ? a HAWK ... no, a falcon was flying over her way. it took eula a few moments to realize that it indeed was heading towards her that she held out her arm, allowing the winged creature to land safely in a graceful perch. what caught her attention was an envelop tied to its leg. she could make out the front of it that addressed with her name.

                " you have something for me ? " the FALCON itself seemed friendly enough, as she carefully untie the envelop from its leg, walking over to the nearby bench and letting the winged hunter perch on the armrest while she focused her attention to the envelop at hand.

                at first glance, while she didn't immediately recognize the handwriting as someone she knew, the way her NAME was written in such care was more than enough to have her heart race a little. there was a sense of anticipation as she opened it, eyes scanning the content of the letter and absorbing each word carefully. she could feel her heart thumping louder the more she went on, the more she took in the written words filled with emotions as though she could hear his VOICE so close to her ears.

                gloved digits gently traced over the words written by a hand that was used to hold a WEAPON than a pen. archons ... she missed him. reading his hand-written letter like this, she wanted nothing more to see him once again. how it had been weeks ever since their last meeting. since when had she grown so impatient when it comes to their absence ? as it seemed, she wasn't the only one feeling that yearn after their night of intimacy. how she could still feel the warmth of his fingers against her skin, the words of love whispered so ardently under the foggy mountain and snowy landscape. how he held her so carefully, treating her like she was his TREASURE rather than a soul damned by the past like those around her would.

                " lantern rite ... " she remembered that, remembered the time dated back a year ago when she saw the floating lights in the distance while she stood upon THE TOP OF DRAGONSPINE, remembered the way his form stood right next to her and telling her about the festival celebrated in liyue. she still even recalled wondering why he was there by her side instead of celebrating it with those he knew in the land of contract itself. the question, of course, was never uttered even now. she only had a few guesses on her end.

                it was the first time she saw him smile a little differently from his blood-thirsted one.

                " had it already been a year ... ? " time sure flies. thinking back to their FIRST MEET, surely the aristocrat wouldn't have thought their relationship would take such a turn. many things changed during the year, and her lips couldn't help thinning as she gazed warmly over the yearnful words he conveyed through his handwriting.

                for you i would make time, all the time you'd want and need.

                aah ... her eyes were BURNING slightly when she read this. he was the only one who had made her priority, he was the only one who would treat her as though she was something special, as though she was his whole world and words were stuck in her throat as she inhaled sharply. how was it possible that everything he did was making her heart race like this ? the LAWRENCE HEIR could never explain it.

                but ...

                gloved digits came to caress over the crimson sigil she had been wearing on her person ever since the day he gifted it to her. he had always been the one who came to her. he RETURNED to her after a long journey back home to the land of winter, and he sought her out in the city of mondstadt itself when he couldn't find her in the snowy mountain. that was why ... she wanted to go to him.

                tenderly and carefully, she folded the letter and put it back into the envelop, gathering the WINTER FALCON perching next to her. she scratched the bird of prey's head gently as though to thank the creature for delivering this letter to her before heading back to her living quarter. she had a letter to write.

                the SNOW FALCON was once again seen flying through the sky of liyue after a successful delivery to the LAND OF FREEDOM. as it returned to its master, however, this time, carried with it was a unique envelop containing a specific sigil belonging to the SPINDRIFT KNIGHT. upon the front of the envelop itself was the name ajax written in blue ink, the very color of the lawrence heir as the content of the letter itself was unfolded to the eyes of the reader.

dearest ajax,

thank you for your letter. i have received it safely. such a wonderful companion you have there. winter falcons are said to be extremely difficult to tame and train, yet i am not surprised that you manage to do so.

your skills in taming wild animals aside, i have to admit that when i first plan to write a reply, i had thought of detailing my feelings for you and how your absence had been felt so dearly by me. how you had been occupying my thoughts, in wake and slumber, or how despite myself being accustomed to the cold weather, not feeling you here with me had affected me in ways i couldn't put into words.

that, and i hardly think that even having been educated and given various classes as to how should conduct oneself and express oneself through words and written form, i am certain there is no known vocabulary i possess within my knowledge could convey the ardent feeling i have for you. any words i could choose would pale in comparison to what i hold in my heart.

i want to show you the extent of my feeling in person, for you to see the way my eyes would glimmer just a little brighter as you had light up the world for me, the way my cheeks would rise in temperature when our hands made contact, or the way i'd have no control of my heart increasing in its rhythm in your presence. i want tell you the depth of my love for you that words cannot hope to capture.

the lantern i had seen with you last year upon the mountain of dragonspine, i want to see them with you again and make that wish together.

ajax ... my ajax ...

please wait for me.

this time, i will be the one to come to you.

eternally yours,

eula lawrence

[rusquared]

accidentally pressed ctrl z THREE TIMES while trying to write up the brackets for round one. i think this is my sign to give up

welcome to the funniest thing i have willingly inflicted upon myself