#while Dark Souls is more linear and has a very clear thing that I know I need to get past to see the rest of the game

[shevr]

enjoying elden ring has made me check out the first Dark Souls and it's actually better at making me want to play it because of how angry I am at whatever my current lethal obstacle is

[bloodylondonvtm]

A city that never sleeps, and when the night sets upon contemporary London, the dead come out to play their games.

Here on this discord Server, we offer you, the players, the chance to immerse yourself within this World of Darkness. Utilizing Vampire: The Masquerade 20th edition rules, we created a living and breathing City designed to provide those willing to uncover its secrets the chance to play VtM in a collaborative writing play-by-post setting.

Here in Bloody London! your motivation, passion and creative input in helping us weave intriguing storylines is valued by the Staff, offering plenty of opportunities to make new friends along the way as we explore a unique cast of characters that are going to call nightly London their home.

This isn’t a tabletop experience, foregoing the rather linear trappings of such a system in favor of player freedom. A sandbox setting, where every character matters, join us in recreating the gothic atmosphere of Vampire: The Masquerade with all its delightfully diverse themes.

The city awaits.

"Many thousands of passionate words have been spoken here tonight.  Some of those words I agree with, and some I do not, but all of them clearly come from the heart of the person they issued forth from.  As Aedile Fairfax so astutely pointed out, It is clear that every single person that has taken the time to speak up cares deeply for not only the Clan but also for London and the Camarilla.  We all want to see them each grow in power and stand for millennia to come.  I for one believe that the person that will lead this endeavor is Praetor Harrington, as I have no doubt made clear throughout the evening.  While I concede that Aedile von Berlichingen may be a better warrior, something that I think is clear to anyone in this room, I do not believe that she is the better leader.  If you think back on the words that she has spoken this evening, and the tone with which she has spoken them, it is clear that there is a great deal of rage within her.  That beast within each of us, that thing that calls for blood, is very loud within her.  It drives her forward, much like it does all of us, but as we all know it is not a being of logic.  It is a being of hate and malice, things that are good on a battle field no doubt, but not in a meeting room.  Aedile von Berlichingen is a weapon, and a strong one at that, but we need more than a weapon.  We need a skilled hand to wield that weapon effectively, and she can not be both.  Her words tonight have not been the words of a leader, but the words of a dictator.  She advocates for taking leadership, for taking territory, for crushing any that oppose us.  She wants us to put the lower clans in their places, which in her mind places them below our boot."

Edwin pauses and shakes his head before he finishes.

"These are not the words of a King, but those of a Tyrant."

Toering’s Edwin at the Ventrue Board Meeting

System:  Vampire the Masquerade, V20 with some homebrew 

Time zone:  Any time – we have players all over the world, so if you’re in a timezone that doesn’t get much love you’ll likely be able to find something!

Platform:  Discord play-by-post

•  New Players welcome! Whether you've played V20 for years or not once we'd love to have you.

•  Plotlines generated by both players and Storytellers.

•  We are primarily a Camarilla Neonate chronicle, but offer some opportunities for all sects.

•  Camarilla, Anarch, and Independent factions available immediately. 

•  Sabbat characters and some bloodlines available after your first character.

•  Kindred, Ghouls, Revenants, and Mortals all playable.

Want to know more?  Interested in joining our merry band of bloodsuckers? Find the link to our discord and more on our sidebar!

As Gilead and his shamed offspring began to walk toward the forest, Aleksandar put his hand upon his face, as if to shield his eyes from the pathetic spectacle. Yet, if one were able to see through his hand, they would see one single drop of vitae, descending from his eyes. The lone coyote had received enough humiliation, that the pity of an old man would only deepen the wound upon his honor. And though Aleksandar had never exchanged a word, nor knew of his existence before tonight, he decided to keep him in his memory, until the night he would cease to be.

Having wiped this single tear, out from the sight of others, the Hungarian Fiend stared neutrally as the father return without his child. It had to be done. And though filicide had taken place, the night would not end for them. Aleksandar joined the others in the celebration, singing and dancing with all his soul, as they partied the night away. The form of a drowned creature, with a skin fused with the stone, dancing fearlessly around the fire was unremarkable amidst the legion of monsters and fiends that laughed under the red starry night sky.

They were Tzimisce.

They were the uncountable heads of the Dragon. Each representing another aspect of reality.

They were a unique existence, one that could not be fathomed even by their kind.

One that could not be joined.

Though it could dream roaring at the world, and of soaring the sky at their side.

A Wolf could not become a Dragon.

Progidius’ Aleksandar at the Tzimisce’s Kupala’s Night

The keys jangle again as one is brought forth to the lock and pushed in. 

It clicks. The knob turns. 

The old door, swollen from humidity, sticks in its place before a forceful kick sends it swinging open toward the vampiric intruders. The whistled tune begins anew.

 A figure, exact features indistinct in the gloom of the lightless room, stands in the doorway. The whistling promptly stops. With a gasp the figure freezes in place, stock still. The keys drop from their hand, clattering onto the floor.

“Shit!” The curse is hissed under their breath. Hands fumble into pockets. Something is pulled free - thrown - in the direction of the trespassers. It thuds to the ground before anyone can get hit.

A garlic bulb. 

The frozen figure springs to life swiftly and attempts to scramble backward. Hands jam into pockets with a quickness and this time a lighter is freed. The flame that billows forth from it is more like a torch than your average lighter, clearly modified in some way. The figure's startled, youthful features are briefly illuminated in the firey glow. Shaking hands hold the lighter out toward the intruders.

In an instant the lighter slips from their grip.

FWOOSH

And the arm of an old nearby chair catches alight.

A wannabe hunter is confronted by a coterie of Kindred.

[thanks-mike-stamford]

Fics that inspire my writing - Part II

This is Part II. Read Part I or Part III

Continuing the discussion, I grouped these fics together for something they have in common: author style! It was actually a bit hard choosing them because they are all written by authors who have a distinct style. Something in them that makes you recognise the author right away, that makes you think - oh yes, definitely is a story from this person. When you have a bunch of stories with the same kind of feel, it's hard to choose one to illustrate my point. Tip is: binge read the authors below!

Part II

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii Back when there wasn't even s2 yet I was already reading stuff from this author. I absolutely love their fics. This one is super interesting, a Good Omens fusion book version - beyond numerous screaming posts on the internet I'm not really familiar with this universe.

Something I like in all their fics and it's worked beautifully in this one is that there's more than it seems under the surface. The characters are not an open book even to the reader, and the narrator (close Sherlock POV) doesn't give all the information. The narrator sometimes doesn't even explain the information we are given. The facts are presented piece by piece, building the layers of a character, making it clear that even if right now, for this story, it's not relevant, this person is a complex human being (or angel. Or demon) that doesn't exist solely for the purpose of the plot. Two factors help with this: the non-linear narrative, that permits we only know a part of someone when it becomes relevant; and the sort of omniscience of Sherlock. I say sort of because yes, he's a demon and he has access to the core of someone. He's able to fish for stuff that happened in someone's life and how they feel about that as a way to build their vulnerability to sin. However, this is not necessarily mind-reading or future prediction. He makes deductions based on the soul, let's put this way. But because he can't use it to predict exactly what is going to happen, he still gets surprised. Because the characters are layered, they are able to be consistent with what we know and yet unexpected, up until the end.

The combination of giving powers to the narrator and using non-linearity is brilliant, working to enhance the themes behind the plot, which are about the complexity of the human soul. I'm working on a WIP that has similar themes and I try to play with these aspects to make it smooth like this story, instead of a philosophical essay using voices of characters. I've tried the non-linear narrative in a published fic, but it didn't have the same level of success in serving the story. Let's see if it goes better when I try again.

What It Is by toyhto This author has two main things going on in their fics: the type of angst that makes you question yourself, and the type of humour that is not really about trying to make you laugh, it's a very weird type of humour. I love weird stuff.

This fic is not Toyhto's best angsty one or best humourous one, but it's one that creates a good mix of both, like a tragicomedy (but without a tragic ending). You have John not knowing how to feel about Sherlock, and Sherlock gambling possibilities on how to fix the situation. It's the narrative that fascinates me. The story keeps its cards close, the reader is often a bit uncomfortable, a bit wrong-footed. You don't know where the story is going (hell, sometimes you don't even know where a scene is going), so you keep hanging up until the end. There's an underlying panic in how characters interact, but it's never hysterical, it's never loud or obnoxious. And then you find yourself snorting in situations that shouldn't have been funny. Life is usually not one genre or the other, so why literature should be? I love that the story never tries to be something (sad, funny, intriguing), and yet it is. It's not easy to pull something like this.

I have a WIP currently on my drive folder where I try to play with this tragicomedy narrative thing. This fic inspires me in trying to keep the reader on their toes all while looking effortless.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords DiscordantWords has been out there since 2016 showing how there's more than a way to fix canon. In fact there are multiple ways. This is the author you want to go if you watch the show and think eeh this should have gone a different way. There's probably a story in here which takes the same premise you thought about.

This one is just too incredible. Because it picks up right from a crucial point in canon and said - ok, what if everything still happened, but they actually make sense? For this story consistency is key, and if canon gave us a John Watson making bad decisions while nursing an unreliable brain work, that's what you get. But make it make sense! This is what happens when you are on a roll of bad decisions, this story tells me. This is what happens when you're isolated from what before kept you on track. This is what happens when on top of everything your mind is playing you tricks: they don't just stop because you decided to. That's not how it works. This story acknowledges the bad stuff, but to fix them it doesn't propose miracles, and it definitely doesn't ignore them. We get the consequences but we also get the process of change that is necessary for things to be good once again. Like John says: there's a difference between wishing something happened differently and wishing it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, so now what?

Make it canon divergence but character consistency and twist it to fix it, it's what inspires me in this fic.

The Ancillus's Tale by Chryse I reiterate that everything by Chryse is a must, but everyone that follows me on twitter had to deal with me constantly gushing about their most recent work for months, so it will be this one here. I just have a lot of feelings about this fic. Oh, yes, omegaverse again, inspired by The Handmaid's Tale.

The one aspect that comes to my mind when I think about Chryse's works is dark themes. If I want to read about fucked up stuff happening, I will go to them. And this particular fix has fucked up stuff from the first to the last chapter. And it's very immersive: you get inside the head of whoever is POV at the moment, Sherlock or John. You get their physical reactions, their thoughts, you know what they know. And the world building is on point: detailed enough that is totally credible, you can see reality becoming that way, but it's not described to exhaustion. We are presented the info about what we need to know, and rest is there, somewhere at your peripheral vision where you know it exists but it doesn't become a nuisance to the plot. But more important than that, it's how the dark themes are treated. It's never on black or white situations, surprisingly, despite the universe setting. The characters especially - they are allowed to have conflicted feelings, they are allowed to misbehave even if they are supposed to be on the good side, they have nuance and complexity. And the cherry on top: just because it has a dark premise, it doesn't mean it can't have a super satisfying happy ending that even brings comfort to the soul after letting it being hurt. We get snippets of comfort, the promise it's going to happen all along the fic, to compensate the extreme suffering the characters are going through. It's glorious.

I have been toying with the idea of writing something on the dark side. In fact my next multi chapter is super fucked up (but as always, with the certainty of a happy ending), and I hope it can see the world soon. I'm writing with this premise in mind: characters are allowed to have conflicted feelings, and they are allowed to misbehave, that won't make them the bad guys.

This was part II! If you missed part I, just click here. Part III is up!

[the-iron-orchid]

BOOK II: THE HIGH PRIESTESS

Chapter 1: The Seer  (~2330 words)

Warnings: None

Back to table of contents

The landscape is desolate, a place of tawny sands and little else. The sky overhead is oppressive, thick with dark, lowering clouds. Where the two meet, the slim line of the horizon pulses with a viridian glow.

My arms hold fast to Asra’s waist, the scent of his hair in my nostrils. Beneath us, I feel the loping stride of a great beast, shaggy and immense. I realize that I must be dreaming... and in dreams, I have made contact.

“Mast -” I stop and swiftly correct myself. “Asra, where are we?” I ask him. It is only then that I notice the path of shining obsidian before us, snaking ahead to the horizon - clear, and yet ever-changing, its reflection of the sky above further confusing the perception.

Asra says that we are far enough away... but for what?

For answers, he says. For clarity. He senses a terrible storm on the horizon; something is changing, and not for the better.

I am instantly reminded of what the Countess said, her dream-visions of a terrible future, which must not come to pass.

Asra tells me that soon we will reach a crossroads, a nexus, a liminal place. He says that I will make a choice, one that changes everything for me... and for others. I feel his hands over mine, squeezing very briefly. But they are trembling, just a little, and he lets go hurriedly - as if the touch might burn him, or me, if held too long.

A chill wind rises around us, bearing the sands up with it in a vortex. It blots out first the landscape, then the horizon… then everything.

The last thing I hear is Asra’s voice: “Rest now, ya albi. I'll be back soon.”

---

I awaken to late morning sunlight slanting through the small windows - rather later than I wanted to sleep, but it seems that the previous night left me exhausted. I stumble into the kitchen, yawning, and rouse the stove salamander so that I might brew a pot of strong tea. He, too, needs to use his abilities regularly, lest they cause him trouble. If I am to be out, he should have a good round of exercise first.

Over my tea and a scone that has seen better days, I consider what I should bring with me to the Palace - a change of clothing, spell components, my current journal… I’m certain that they will be able to provide me with writing instruments...

It keeps my mind off of my strange dream, and its portents. For now.

Fortified with multiple cups of tea (the scone, not especially improved by toasting, was left out on the doorstep for the pigeons), I pack my things. The bag that Heron made for me is very special - it holds much, much more than it appears to. Then I set about readying the shop for my absence. I dust down the counters, and ensure that the stove salamander has a supply of coke to consume.

I go up to the rooftop to water my plants, such as they are. Heron has a lush rooftop garden that provides us both with herbs and vegetables year-round; I have a planter box full of pretty flowering weeds. But the basil is doing very well in its bucket, and the aloe in its large bowl. There is also a forgotten bean that started to sprout, now residing comfortably in an old mug with no handle. Hopefully I won’t be gone so long that they all wither in the midsummer sun… well, the aloe will survive, I am sure.

When I come back downstairs, I must turn away a few customers, hopeful for a reading. Everyone wants to know what the future holds. 

If only I could ask the Arcana about the past, everything that came before the last three years. Three years of struggle and pain, of learning to be an adult human all over again, after whatever accident or illness took that part of me forever… for the most part. Once in a while, a dim memory will float by, like a distant iceberg on the sea of my mind. To try and grasp such memories is to invite pain and terror, and so I let them go. 

But sometimes, there are things that I know or can do which I did not learn in the last three years with Asra and Heron. I must assume that these come from Before, written so far below the surface of my mind as to escape erasure. I dance fairly well, and I sing better than that. And while Asra and Heron are always cautious in how they teach me, I very often feel that the small, shallow pool of my magic bubbles up from something much deeper, an underground ocean in the caverns of my soul.

It is a place I cannot explore, not even with the seemingly unending patience and help of my teachers. When I have tried, it leaves me bedridden for days, my body unresponsive, my mind a maelstrom of vivid hallucinations. Giants, ghosts, talking animals… a deeper dimension to my relationship with Asra, which is almost certainly wishful thinking on my part.

They tell me that my power springs from something very fundamental and dangerous, the primordial Chaos that underlies creation. By the same token, Heron’s magic springs from the primordial force of Order, and Asra’s from a direct connection to the Magical Realms that lie beyond our own. Each of us is something different, and yet the same.

They both tell me that I’m making wonderful progress, that my power and ability will continue to grow; it simply is not a linear progression. Magic grows in fits and starts and flashes of understanding. 

I hope they are right.

As the day wears on, I must be on my way to the Palace. I thoroughly lock up the shop, tracing the wards on the doors (not that this seemed to help against last night’s intruder). As I am doing this, a sudden prickle down the back of my neck causes me to start in alarm - a huge shape has materialized at my side, seemingly from nowhere.

Eldritch energy immediately crackles around my left hand, but I rein it in - they are doing nothing in particular besides looming, so large that they block my access to the side alleyway entirely. Two glinting eyes watch me from within the depths of a rough hood of furs, draped over a massive body that is crossed again and again with ropy scars. 

I clear my throat. “Er, excuse me… I need to pass through there.”

For a moment, they simply continue to look at me. Then, they shift their weight, and start moving out of the way. There is a strange muffled clanking, as of chains.

“Thank you.” I nod curtly, settle my bag on my hip, and start walking past the large figure.

“He will return. Though uninvited.” The voice is deep, so deep it’s like the thunder of a waterfall. “He will offer you an escape when you need it most. Turn him down, or you will fall into his hand… just like the rest of us.”

I pause at this apparent prognostication. A teller of fortunes, I know a seer when I hear one.

“Take this, or my warning is for nothing.”

I turn back to the person, curious. The light just barely strikes two glimmers of green from within the hood. Pinched between the huge thumb and forefinger is a little leather pouch on a thin cord. Grudgingly, it seems, the figure holds it out to me. I reach a hand out, palm up, and they drop the item into it, as if unwilling to touch.

And without a further word, they turn and shuffle away. Oddly, no-one seems to take notice of the hooded figure, despite their immense size - normally, people would be gawking, pointing even.

How odd. I scrutinize the tiny bag in my palm with my magical sight. It radiates a faint aura of protective magics. I glance up again - but the figure is gone.

The pouch is well-sealed with complex warding knots, and the leather is inscribed with a sigil. Bringing it to my nose, I smell the warm, woody scent of myrrh resin.

Philosophically, I hang the little pouch around my neck. My magical sight shows nothing malicious in it… and I can use all the protection I can muster, I’m sure.

I step into the flow of traffic and noise as I cut my way through the bustling Market, but I hear little of it; I am lost in my own thoughts. Who is the he spoken of by the seer? Julian tried to give me some warning or other about Asra… but I’m not sure I credit that. He seems to have some personal vendetta. Julian himself, perhaps? What more warning could one need about a wanted criminal?

As I climb the steps that lead into the market plaza, a black shape catches my eye - it’s a large raven, perched on one of the lines of colorful lanterns that crisscross overhead. The bird looks back at me with one beady eye, blacker than my own, then croaks and turns its head. I, too, turn my head, following its gaze.

...and my heart stumbles and skips a beat as I spot Julian Devorak, walking through the crowd as if nothing at all is amiss, his face bare to the world... and unblemished. His temple shows no bruising, no hint of a wound where last night he bled.

He hasn’t seen me yet. Half of me wants to flee, but the other half is intensely curious as to how he can walk about so freely, a fugitive from the law. And how has he healed so quickly? 

It is this second half that sends me after him. 

Unfortunately, this means I must move against traffic, and I am not large. I also don’t want to form an obvious eddy in the crowd with my movements. Devorak is making his leisurely way along the market stalls, seemingly without a care in the world. Is he looking to get caught? Wanted posters litter the city, and between his height and that profile, it’s not like he is anonymous in any way. An eyepatch only distracts so much.

The raven gives a sudden shriek, and Devorak turns, our eyes locking for a frozen moment through the crowd.

And then a cart passes between us, causing me to step back involuntarily. When it is gone… so is he, vanished as if he had never been there at all.

I pause, traffic flowing around me, and wonder at my own actions. The man is a wanted criminal, maybe even a killer. Why on earth would I put myself in danger by following him around, no matter how curious I am? Shaking my head at myself, I rejoin the foot traffic, resuming my interrupted journey.

Maybe it was Julian that the giant of earlier was warning me about.

A voice cuts through my reverie, a voice I know. It’s Selasi, the baker, whose stall Asra and I often frequent - one of the small handful of merchants who seem unfazed by us. He asks if I’ve eaten, saying that there are spiced pumpkin loaves fresh out of the oven, almost cool enough to eat. He cajoles me to sit and talk with him in the meantime.

A pot of tea isn’t enough to fuel my day. My stomach rumbles to resentful life as the scent of the spiced bread reaches my nose.

“Well… I can’t stay long,” I tell him. “But I am starving!”

Selasi laughs and waves me to the back of the booth, where I seat myself up against the sun-warmed wall of the building behind.  An enormous orange fluff of a cat appears from under a table, and rubs itself against my side. Absently, I scratch it between the ears.

The baker offers me a steaming cup of tea, asking after Asra. 

“Oh, out on a journey again.”

“Of course! Where to this time?”

“I… don’t know, actually. He didn’t say.”

Selasi frowns slightly. “Really?”

“It seemed really important. Maybe it’s a secret.” I shrug, sipping my mint tea.

The baker folds his arms and shakes his head with a sigh. “Nothing new, I guess. Your Asra on a mysterious journey, that is. But what about you?”

I lift my brows. My Asra, indeed. “What about me?”

He grins widely. “They say that the Countess’s own carriage was spotted here in Center City, late in the night. You can’t miss it, not with all the escorts on horseback. Circling around not far from your shop, even.”

I do my best to cover over my surprise. Selasi loves gossip as much as he loves to bake, and maybe even more. It’s harmless, but I don’t know that the Countess wants her business all over the market.

“Really? I wonder what she was after?” My stomach chooses that moment to let out a long growl, and I laugh. “Me, I’m just after pumpkin bread. I’m a simple creature.”

Selasi laughs, throwing his head back. “Keep your secrets, then, just like your master.” He shakes his head and pulls a fresh loaf from the cooling racks. “One hot for now, and one cool for the road?” he asks, and I nod, giving the cat one last pat before rising and placing my empty cup aside.

Selasi wraps the loaves for me, and I hand over my coin. I place the cooled one into my endless bag before taking a big bite out of the warm loaf. The outer crust has a pleasing bite to it, the inside soft and fluffy, the spices fragrant. “Mmph! Delicioush azh alwayzh! ’ll zhee you lader!” I say around the mouthful of pumpkin bread, waving as I exit the booth.

“Don’t keep the Countess waiting!” he says, almost making me choke on my bite of bread.

I suppose it’s true what they say… the only thing that travels faster than magic is gossip.

[phantastus]

Is there any symbolism behind the bird scientific names tags representing Silent Hill characters? Like, did you pick them for any particular reasons? 👀

Oh man, well, I guess I never went into detail about them anywhere. They definitely were picked for a reason but the reason is related to a currently-unwritten fanfic and literally who knows when that’s going to happen (Gravity needs to get finished first and who knows when that’s going to happen :’]), so I might as well try and do it now.

When I was in college I started coming up with concepts and symbolism for a fic project and because I’m obsessed with birds all of it involved birds and the title of the fic was appropriately “Four and Twenty Blackbirds”, with the ‘four’ specifically referring to Harry, James, Heather, and Henry (because they were the main characters). Each of them had a different ‘blackbird’ species representing them. 

So when I decided to make separate aesthetic/inspo tags for individual characters (I already have a #silent feels tag for general SH inspiration, but I am crazy and it was NOT CONVOLUTED ENOUGH FOR ME), I decided to use the scientific bird names since it was conveniently already cemented in my brain. THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY, VERY LONG SO I’M PUTTING IT UNDER A READMORE. Click for pretentious Silent Hill fan analysis.

HARRY MASON | CORVUS BRACHYRYNCHOS (American Crow)

Harry Mason is the “”generic”” all-American protagonist who rises to a heroic status pretty much out of sheer determination and a commitment to his loved one. He’s not an unusual person, in fact he’s deceptively normal-- so the American crow felt right for him since they’re so common. You see them so often you don’t even think about them, but they’re smart, resourceful, and resilient survivors (something that especially comes into play with Harry post-SH1 when he’s eluding the Order). Harry is underestimated because of his normalcy but he’s capable of incredible things.

Also crows (and other corvids) have deep, almost humanlike family bonds between parents and offspring. They’ll maintain relationships even after the babies grow up and become fully self-sufficient, with the adult children regularly visiting their parents and socializing or helping to take care of younger siblings.

In the context of the fic Harry’s symbolic/prophetic connection to such a common “pest” species is sort of a derogatory assignment on the part of the Order/the town, as he’s seen as a heretic troublemaker (CULTS HATE HIM!! LOCAL MAN STEALS MESSIAH AND THWARTS FATE WITH ONE COOL TRICK!)

JAMES SUNDERLAND | CORVUS CORAX (Common Raven)

Ravens are like the most symbolic corvid, every gothic poet/novelist/artist and their grandma used them to represent death, grief and malaise, and James’s story is nothing if not filled with all three of those things. I mean, come on:    “By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—    Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,    It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore— Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”            Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.” -Edgar Allen Poe, u know where it’s from.

Also in college, I got very interested in the myth “Raven Steals the Sun”, which has a number of different variations (it’s a story shared across multiple First Nations peoples of the Pacific Northwest and Alaska, there’s no one clear origin-- you can read about a couple of versions here!) but most involve the titular Raven delivering the Sun to the world after stealing or freeing it from a dark place where it was kept. Depending on the version, Raven's motives can either be purely selfish or more benevolent, and sometimes starts the story as a pure white bird who is stained black with soot in the act of taking the Sun. The duality of Raven’s intentions as well as the theme of light/warmth being hidden in darkness until it’s brought out felt fitting for a character whose motivations are complex and left a little ambiguous in canon (James grapples with whether his own act was purely selfish or one of love/mercy) AND someone who is naturally warm and caring but slipped behind a cold, dark wall of depression and self-isolation. The theme of being permanently marked/transformed by an act, whether for good or for bad, felt fitting too.

(Obligatory Disclaimer That My (Very White) Personal Interpretation Should Not Remotely Be Considered An Authentic Take On The Myth And Is Not Intended To Be Appropriation. For fic purposes the story would only have come up as an interesting symbolic parallel/running motif among many others, not a Literal Connection. James is a clueless white dude and Silent Hill doesn’t even take place on the west coast.)

“BUT WAIT! Doesn’t stealing the sun from a malevolent party and freeing it sound sort of like Harry rescuing Alessa/Cheryl/Heather??” Yes, this was going to be a source of in-character confusion and a surprise twist when it turns out they got their birds mixed up. Blah blah nothing is as it seems and destiny is mutable.

One time while I was walking on a foggy beach I got followed around by an enormous raven who was just sort of waddle-hopping after me looking forlorn and scruffy and the experience stuck with me and now all these years later my enormous galaxy brain is just like “That was Big James Energy”.

Wow that was long, I’m sorry.

HENRY TOWNSHEND | CORVUS FRUGILEGUS (Rook)

The most obvious symbolism is probably the chess piece with the same name-- that felt fitting for Henry since he’s probably the protagonist who has to do the most strategizing. Between his limited inventory and his progressively-more-cursed apartment and escorting Eileen and his five billion trips across multiple fractured Otherworlds, my poor guy has a lot to mentally keep track of. In the fic, he was going to wind up being the one to keep track of all the weird complicated bullshit items and rituals they had to complete to get through the Otherworld.

The rook chess piece also resembles a castle, and unlike the other protagonists whose stories progress in a linear fashion, Henry operates from/returns to his home base shitty cursed apartment.

BUT ONTO THE BIRD the rook is a corvid like the crow and the raven, and shares their pest/death omen status in popular culture. Just appropriate for SH protags in general since they keep getting in the way of the cult’s business and also misfortune follows them.

In the SH3 Crematorium Puzzle (I’ll talk more about that in Heather’s section), there is a poem:    "The black Rook is the praying sort    Who hears the gods in the skies    His whispered petitions go on without end    And glassy and dim are his eyes" Obviously this does NOT describe Henry as a person, but it IS eerily reminiscent of the title that was thrust upon him: Receiver. Maybe if Walter’s plans had succeeded, this is how Henry would have ended up.

There is also an old belief that if rooks abandon an established “rookery” (place where they regularly roost), it’s a sign of calamity to follow. If Henry the Certified Homebody (tm) bursts out of the apartment complex and goes staggering down the street, you should get out of that apartment complex.

HEATHER MASON | AGELAIUS PHOENICEUS (Red-Winged Blackbird)

Oh boy this one’s probably the weirdest but here we go.

The first obvious thing is that unlike the other three, the red-winged blackbird is not actually a corvid (it’s from the Icteridae family, not the Corvidae family). In-universe, this was supposed to represent Heather being inherently different from the rest (like... she basically is an iteration of the Silent Hill deity), even if she seems to be a normal human. Harry’s act of stealing her from the Order and changing her appearance/name to hide her was going to be depicted as “dousing Her in black ink, but [the ink] not able to fully conceal Her radiance”. The red and gold shoulders of the blackbird visually symbolize her “””true nature””” peeking out.

I also associate her specifically with the MALE red-winged blackbird (the female looks completely different, hooray sexual dimorphism) because gender is a fuck and Heather understandably has some really intense and complicated issues with womanhood/femininity. One of my favorite aspects of her as a character is how she blurs the line between masculine and feminine, especially since she’s been through so much... extremely gendered violence, to put it lightly. Heather Mason says FUCK YOUR GENDER BINARY.

As a fun side-note, Heather is also represented (or appears to be, ymmv) by a bird in canon! The SH3 Crematorium puzzle (on hard mode) features a series of poems each about birds, and each one represents a character if you squint. Heather seems to be referenced in this one:     "The Wren, with pure heart as yet unrefined     Makes us laugh with his feeble lip-smacking     But still we all know he shall never grow old     And he knows not how much he is lacking." Heather’s role as a brash, foolhardy youth who talks tough to cope is pretty blatantly summed up in there, as is the fact that she’s... functionally immortal and keeps fucking reincarnating. The wren, a plucky little bird, is perfect for her. The part of the main riddle that references the wren is also... ominously on the nose, given Heather’s backstory:     "Burn the one who knows no death     Pure, adored by those above     No prayers within, just simple love.”

YET ANOTHER CREMATORIUM POEM could be construed as representing the town’s God (or the spiritual force of the land, w/e), damaged/corrupted/turned malevolent by All The Bullshit:     "The Kite, hot, crazy, and panting mad     Sweet shackles that tease and excite     Death itself would drive him wild     Red blood that turns milky white"  Heather is a pure-hearted protagonist in one sense, but there’s plenty of not-so-subtle hints to a bloodlust and desire for violence just waiting to break free (ESPECIALLY when Heather does certain things that could be considered taking on the role of God). So to me the Kite is what happens when Heather gets sick of being nice and decides to go apeshit.

“BUT WAIT what does this have to do with the red-winged blackbird?” The inherent trinity of Heather’s character (Alessa/Cheryl/Heather, the Mother of God/Daughter of God/God Herself) deserves a bird trinity too. I’M GREEDY, I WANT *ALL* THE BIRD METAPHORS!

Red-winged blackbirds are bold little shits who will straight up harass birds of prey. Kind of like Heather does to God.

The fact that “phoeniceus” was part of the scientific name was a VERY delightful coincidence-- but I’m not complaining about how satisfying I found it that my Bird Choice (tm) inadvertently connects her to the concept of the phoenix, poster child of pyrogenesis.

That was even longer than James’, I’m so sorry.

SO THAT’S THE META BEHIND THOSE CHOICES FOR THE FOUR MAIN CHARACTERS. If you’re still interested after all that BS, I can write up another (probably much shorter) post for the other characters. Thanks for the ask!

[tokiro07]

Thinkin’ about the term Soulslike again (though I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about it here)

I really dislike the idea of naming genres after specific games on the basis that it leads to stagnation in the development of games and doesn’t actually tell you anything about those games if you aren’t already familiar with the source

Metroidvanias, for example, by and large either try to perfectly mimic Super Metroid or Symphony of the Night to the point where a lot of them will practically use the same upgrades with different visuals or names in my experience, rather than reimagining or refining the core experience of exploration and discovery (some people have called these games Sprawlers, but I like to call them Explorers)

Roguelikes, fortunately, have now boiled down the genre to just two major, generalized mechanics, procedural generation and permadeath, but for some reason have retained the name even though they are nigh unrecognizable as “Rogue” games anymore. Some Roguelikes have even cut down on the permadeath with a persistent upgrade system that have resulted in them being called “Roguelites,” even though they already had nothing in common with Rogue aside from being Procedural games

“Soulslikes” at the moment seem to be leaning towards the former for the most part, though they are slowly but surely drifting away from that. Now, I haven’t played many Soulslikes, but from what I’ve seen, almost all of them have the following:

a limited, slow-use health restoring item

a currency that is dropped upon death (usually retrievable at the point of death)

a checkpoint area designated for the usage of said currency, recovery of the health item, and/or upgrades and customization (these may vary, but there’s usually a combination of these) BUT also restores all of the enemies in an area (if applicable)

enemies with high damage output but consistent predictable and exploitable attack patterns

combat heavily based around animation speed

a dodge or parry mechanic that helps give the player control over the pace of the battle

obscure lore often told through environmental storytelling or vague item descriptions

Dark Souls itself also has several elements that are frequently seen in its clones, but not necessarily all of them, including:

character customization

variable weapon builds

an RPG-style leveling system

a stamina-bar that recovers over time

an item that increases health and allows for a mechanic that makes combat easier at the risk of inviting some form of danger

a semi-open world that encourages familiarity and creates shortcuts over time

With all of these elements, Dark Souls itself is effectively an Exploratory Action RPG, with its world functioning similarly to a Metroidvania and while having a customizable/upgradable character that can perform real-time combat. The question is what Dark Souls does differently within these genres that makes it unique, much like how Rogue differentiated itself from other turn-based RPGs of the time (procedural generation and permadeath)

I think when most people think “Soulslike,” they think games that emulate the look and feel as closely as possible, like The Surge or Nioh for 3D games or Salt and Sanctuary or Hollow Knight for 2D. These all, to my knowledge, use similar kinds of currency systems and combat systems

These systems have led to people like Yahtzee Croshaw labeling Soulslikes as “Recursive games”, on the basis that they encourage one to throw themselves at one challenge again and again until they learn it by heart, often through asking the player to specifically face the thing that defeated them rather than go another way. 

While I see the argument here, I think that this definition is actually too broad. A linear platformer will do the exact same thing, but if you die repeatedly to a  specific enemy or obstacle in a Mario game and keep trying until you get it, does that make Mario a “Soulslike” game? Not at all, but any video game that has a failure state is, by its very nature, recursive. Not all games do this, but all that do can’t be referred to as “Recursive games”

Dead Cells, for example, inherently lacks this feature. Sure, its procedural nature promotes a “just one more go” mentality, but what you’re doing is inherently different every time. You aren’t facing the same challenges, as enemies and item builds are always different. However, what remains is the combat-style

I’ve always felt that the most important part of something being similar to Dark Souls is the enemy encounters that are dictated by health/stamina management and pace control. Because this is so heavily rooted in Dark Souls’ unique method of combat, I’ve been referring to it as a Precision Combat game, as precise inputs and timing are often necessary for survival, and an understanding of how both the player and the enemies behave is necessary for progression 

What muddles this is that we already have terms like “Action” and “Fighting” to define specific genres, and those terms are just too close. Fighting games are, in a sense, Precision Combat games that remove everything extraneous: no level progressions, no upgrade systems, just pure mechanics in typically one-on-one battles against a specific character being used by an opponent. Action games, however, basically mean anything that has some kind of combat encounter in it at all, allowing it to span Platformers, Fighters, Shooters, Brawlers, Puzzlers, anything, so much so that it’s a near pointless concept. One could argue that by calling something a Combat game, it immediately implies a greater focus on the precision of the action, thus making the “Precision” in Precision Combat redundant. We could also call it “Precision Action,” but that comes with its own problems

Many games have had precision action elements since the inception of gaming. The most notable that I can think of from the NES days would be Ninja Gaiden and The Mysterious Murasame Castle, both of which require quick reaction time and strategic attacks, generally not allowing players to simply brute force their way through. However, while these could strictly speaking be called Precision Action games, that doesn’t mean that they are “like Souls,” nor do they resolve the fact that modern games are taking inspiration from Dark Souls’ unique mechanics to spawn a new genre. It just becomes the same problem that Recursive had: it can apply to too many things that already exist rather than honing in on what makes Dark Souls itself unique

A friend of mine called Dark Souls a “Strict” game on the basis that the failure to act in a precise manner is entirely on the player, that Dark Souls is “tough but fair,” but honestly I think that’s just a fancy way of conveying the same idea.

In the same conversation that Recursive was introduced, Yahtzee’s associate Jack Packard suggested that Soulslikes be called Fight-or-Flight games to highlight the decision making process that the player goes through: “do I have the right items for this encounter?” “How far am I from the checkpoint?” “Should I avoid the enemies to preserve health, or fight them to get their drops?” Jack and Yahtzee determined that this couldn’t work because the player can’t run from boss encounters, and thus those moments remove a core gameplay element that Fight-or-Flight would imply. I, however, think they were on the right track

For one, the bosses are the very reason one has to consider whether to fight or flee in the first place; there is always going to be something that the player needs to save their resources for, something that they can’t flee from, so the question is what to do in the moments where that choice is available. However, I think there’s a way to potentially reconcile this issue while retaining the high focus on player choice: Risk/Reward

Now, many games have elements of risk and reward, particularly procedural games where if the player is having a good run, they may want to play more cautiously, but “Soulslike” games have a particular way of baking these sorts of choices into every single moment. Every attack animation is a risk because they’re exploitable by an enemy, every usage of the healing items is a risk because they’re exploitable, every enemy is a threat that can cause the player to lose their precious items, every enemy attack, even from bosses, is exploitable but reacting to them may leave the player open. “Do I attack now?” “Do I heal now?” “Do I fight this enemy?” “Do I run past them?” “Do I use my currency on this upgrade/item, or save it?” These are all ideas that are present in other games, but Dark Souls and its contemporaries utilize it in such a specific way that I think one could make the argument that it’s their defining feature

Risk/Reward also has the benefit of removing the necessity for combat altogether, whereas Fight-or-Flight explicitly states that combat is an element of it. This could allow non-action games to potentially recontextualize Dark Souls’ Risk/Reward mechanics into something else entirely, similarly to how Toki Tori 2 took out Super Metroid’s action-centric upgrade system and replaced it with a consistent moveset used for puzzle-solving, and all “upgrades” were actually moments where the player would discover new ways to use what they already had to progress

I don’t necessarily think Risk/Reward is a perfect solution, as like I said it can technically be applied to a lot of other games (ex: in any turn-based RPG, one can choose to attack, defend, or heal, risking the enemy’s actions), and it’s not the most elegant thing to say (ex: to encompass all that Dark Souls is would require calling it a Risk/Reward Exploratory Action RPG), but I think it’s a step in the right direction

If nothing else, it helps make it clear why a game like Sekiro, which removes nearly all of Dark Souls’ mechanics and even boils the combat down to a single weapon type, can still be considered a “Soulslike;” moving the enemy into a vulnerable position potentially leaves Sekiro vulnerable as well, but the player needs to take that risk to win a fight

I’ve also seen the word “dynamic” used to describe the combat in both Dark Souls and Sekiro, which ties back into what I was saying about controlling the pace of combat. This could also work and may be useful in conveying the idea of decision making, but it may have more difficulty in translating to other genres. That said “Exploratory Dynamic Action RPG” sounds better than that mouthful I said before, even if it’s still a bit long

It may be years before we get a good answer to this question, and it really will be determined by what elements survive the refinement process and remain recognizable, but for now, I think I’m going to start trying to work either “Risk/Reward” or “Dynamic” into my conversations about Dark Souls until I hear something better

[conduitandconjurer]

(So if you ever wanted to learn how Klaus would be as a parent, please enjoy this snippet from a Discord rp with the OC Ana, written by @blackmxgickwoman​ !!!! )

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/24/2020

She hates this new school. The teachers are boring. The kids are rude. And frankly, Ana would rather be anywhere but there. It's not hard to get out. Permission to go to the bathroom. Phase. Out the wall, off to wherever. Today, she's snagged some snacks from a convenience store and found her way to  the local library where she can manage to learn things she's actually interested in. All she has to do is get back to school on time and no one will know. Unfortunately for her, someone's noticed and called her father to let him know that...Ana's disappeared from school. Again.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥11/25/2020

Klaus is still getting used to having to answer the phone.  He's still getting used to accounting for anyone beyond himself, in a world in which he no longer has addiction to fall back upon as an armor, a numbing mechanism, a way to enforce boundaries he's never been granted.  He's still getting used to having a preteen daughter who needs him, but, he thinks, when the labyrinthine maze of his brain allows him to think in a linear fashion, he's not doing so badly.  This truancy thing, however....that's the bit he can't surmount. Yes, he can find Ana even when she phases, but he knows from experience that a too authoritarian parental hand only produces resentment and further rebellion.  So he hangs up his cell--furbished for him by Five, the only real father figure Klaus himself has ever had--sighs, drags his palms down his face, and emits the sort of sound that usually only comes out of a constipated goat. "Fuuuuuuuuuu-CK," he whisper-shrieks, stands and finds his Converse, and goes out into the RUDELY cold November afternoon toward his daughter's usual haunts.

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/27/2020

The library is luckily not as busy as normal. Ana prefers it that way. Quiet, empty....it's like her own little world. Tucked away in probably the least visited corner of the library, she's tucked in a dark space reading through medieval building methods, eating hot cheetos and at peace. Every so often, she glances at the clock to check the time and peeps around to make sure no one's coming. It's during one of those times that she spots him coming up the stairs.  "Shit...." she whispers under her breath quickly gathering her stuff and scurrying down an aisle opposite his direction. She's just got to keep away from her father and get to the door and she'll have plenty of time to get away. She can do that. Easy. Right?

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥11/30/2020

Klaus's whole lovely fey face scrunches up in to an expression of utter consternation.  "ANA!" he scream-whispers, stops and stomps a Converse-clad food. "ANA. Shit...."  But he didn't spend every year of his life from 17 on in the streets and in various drug dens without learning how to run very quickly and very erratically.  "Scuse me, sorry, nice reading choice...pardon.....scuse me--!" he apologizes profusely while weaving through the stacks and taking a shortcut outside and up the fire escape. "OH, you little SHIT!" he hisses as he books it toward where she ran.

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡11/30/2020

She hears the commotion rather than sees it and doesn’t let up. She does have the advantage that she can run through the bookshelves and takes advantage of that before taking off down the stairs and out the front.  Okay, maybe she shouldn’t have ran. Now that she’s outside and thinking, she’s starting to realize that might not have been the best option. But she doesn’t feel like getting in trouble yet or going back to school so....what else was she supposed to do. Looking around, she decides to run across the street to the drugstore. Maybe she can bide her time in there and he’ll leave. If she’s lucky.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥Today at 4:34 PM

"I CAN STILL SEE YOU!" comes Klaus's exasperated cry, as he spins and gives chase back down the stairs. "HHAHHHH, fuck! And I do cardio, Jesus on a Pogostick!"

Panting, forced to yield simply to her younger age, he gives hot pursuit--and finds himself rolling across the dashboard of a car crossing the street. He hops off. "PLEASE! Go ahead, man, I CRAVE the favor!" he snaps at the bewildered driver, finishing it off with an "up your ass" gesture before limping on across the street.  He pauses, hip jutted out, and jiggles a leg while examining the row of shops. What would I do? he ponders, sort of grimly accepting that this is some karmic payback for shit he pulled at Ana's age.  Drugstore. Drugstore. . Candy, junk food, cigarettes.  Certain otc meds that offer a cheap high.  Useless trinkets that bring stupid levels of joy, like hair ties, magazines, and cheap nail polish.  Yep.  He hops in, on one foot. "Ana," he addresses the entire blinking, confused store, "I'm not gonna yell at you, or anything. Can we just t . . . talk? Sorry. Hi. No, no autographs. No, please. Daughter stuff. Scuse me."  He darts down an aisle. "Come on, honey, please. " He blinks at himself. While he's no stranger to giving affectionate terms and pet names, that "honey" slid out so naturally that it alarms him.  Paternal instinct? In MY psyche? More likely than you'd think....

Diego Owns My Soul  🗡🗡Today at 4:54 PM

Honestly, all of this has just been....too much for Ana. She hates that she's been forced to change her entire life. She hates her school. She hates all of this and she knows that Klaus is trying to look out for her. Knows he's trying to dad her but honestly....he's not that good at it and she doesn't need a parent. She can look out for herself. She can find for herself. SHe's good. She's fine. Settling in a corner, she pulls out the book she'd swiped to start reading when she hears his voice again. Well, shit.  Looking around, she spots the employees only door and knows that there's definitely a back door through there. All she has to do is get from one end to the other without him seeing her. At least, like this, she doesn't think he can actually catch her. She doesn't think he knows how to actually touch a ghost. She hopes he doesn't. Standing, she takes a moment to make sure the coast was clear and starts to sneak in the other direction hoping he doesn't notice her from wherever he is in the store.  Maybe it's time for her to just....say okay and face up. She'll have to get in trouble and he's not giving up on her. Sighing, she sneaks up behind him and crosses her arms. "I'm not going to school."

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Klaus ♥Today at 5:15 PM

"HOH, CHR...ist...!" He jumps a mile, thanks PTSD, and slowly pivots to face her.

"...yeah, I figured."  Yes, he's bad at it.  At consistency, and obligation.  But nobody tries harder to love someone in his orbit than Klaus, and hopefully that makes up for some of his failings.  "But that's not ......that's not a dealbreaker...for me, okay?"  He glances around, at the gathering crowd. God.  All through his childhood, there was always a gawking audience of two kinds: the ghosts, and the Academy's unbalanced, devoted fans.  Privacy, boundaries, they're unobtainable to him, and therefore, sacred. He pulls out his phone and texts her:  [Do you wanna go talk about this somewhere else?] 

[lexicals]

Jfc I am BUZZING what a fucking episode. The first part of this is mostly screaming tbh

I love happy juno but also grumpy juno is my favourite welcome back

I love how firm peter is with him in stopping him from spiralling? It's good

Rita coming into her own!! Learning lessons!! Growing up!! Yes!!!

SO MUCH INFO THOUGH. Dark matters wants the crime family and they want them alive and they don't know anything about two of them but!! Which two!!

You'd presume nureyev is one but..... who knows ahh

This is gonna be mostly screaming I have no time for coherent thought rn

Juno being protective over rita godd

Juno comforting rita while she's panicking ;;

OH HEY FUCK THE NAME? I MEAN LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY BUT RITAAAA

Me thinking no surely he wouldn't have just abandoned them and breathing a sigh of relief when he hadn't only for my boy to DO THIS?? ET TU PETER??

PETER

NUREYEV

DESERVES

TO

BE

BULLIED

I'm not serious but my guy had BETTER have a good reason for this. I would hope it's a long con of some kind or SOMETHING but PETER

Anyway if these people know his name idk if this is either 1. Blackmail or 2. Maybe he didn't get away from brahma all by himself after new kinshasa after all. Maybe he had help and it's finally come back to bite him in the ass. Who knows but I'm fucking 👀 PETER.

MISTER WHO

Also. Robot kisses 🥺

ALSO. Juno just. Picking him up and carrying him out of the room fhshdhdgs

MAMA BUDDY SO ANGRY THOUGH. I thought this would be the case but ooof

LESBIAN WEDDING TIME THOUGHHH Buddy and vespa inventing romance once AGAIN

I mean I'm sad they're retiring (although depending on what nureyev is doing here this "last job" could be UHHHHH DERAILED) but!! Yes!! Married!!

Knife girlfriend will finally be..... knife WIFE

Juno sniffling in the corner like ME TOO BITCH THE FUCK. Secretly a sap as usual though mr steel I love you

I can't remember other things I just. So much happened. I'm gonna need to listen again at least a few times here

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh FUCK also rita!! "When someone tells you what they want you to call them that's what you call them"!! Penumbra said trans rights once again thank you kabert and also ms jones. Bless

Not a second listen yet but more Thots:

Rly good episode...... and the robot kisses were very cute...... but I had this thought in pt. 1 and again this episode that I'm kinda bummed out that we've kinda just.... skipped over all the relationship development for juno & peter. Like on the one hand it's kind of unavoidable to miss stuff given the series format this time around but on the other it feels like 2 seasons of build up for something that.... just happened offscreen :/ Idk I was hoping for a first kiss back together or Something

On the one hand while it seems like nureyev is being a Snake™ I'm gonna hold back on actually saying he's gonna betray the crew bc he's been so consistently set up as the villain, going back to s1 when juno refused to trust him all the way through to shadows of the ship, and he's never actually proven himself untrustworthy a single time through that? Like, murderous mask has been the only time he's actually fucked anyone over for his own gain, and he went back on that one pretty quick

Plus the fact that he's only claiming to deliver the four items they need, not the curemother itself - it could be that he's planning to wait until after they've stolen the curemother when they no longer have a use for them, or at least I'd like to think so peter I'm fucking Watching You

Another thought: you know how else you might describe a debt? Something you owe to someone because, maybe, they have something of yours? A fucking ransommmmm

Also, why! Did! That! Bot! Not! Self! Destruct! Or at least not straight away. It's almost like someone wanted them to get away in the nick of time. There's a part of me that's wondering if the fact that dark matters is under mysterious new management and the fact that nureyev has made himself what seems like a very powerful enemy are linked, but we'll see. Either way I think someone definitely facilitated their escape, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was whoever is holding peter's debt, using the crew as a tool to get their hands on the four items they want and keeping nureyev as a source on their progress

Looking forward.... other people have said this as well, but I don't think nureyev is ever going to be cast as a villain here. At the very worst, he'll do something well-intentioned but kind of stupid, and it's gonna blow up in his face. Like, it's gonna hurt, but I think he'll come out of the other side better for whatever happens. Currently, my thoughts are on whether or not we'll see a repeat of new kinshasa - a high-stakes choice between someone dear to him, and the choice he feels he has to make, whether that's other people's lives again or something else. Idk, maybe not, I'm just thinking about the theming of the series with the past always coming back to haunt them, the fact that he's been said to be at a crossroads back in man in glass, and the part in tools of rust where the ruby gives jet the opportunity to make the same mistake he did fifteen years ago, and he chooses differently. Tbh as usual I'm just excited to see how things play out however that is

ACTUAL second listen this time:

Rita redacted I love you so much x3 combo. I missed this earlier but it needs to be said

Rita says she found nureyev's name by hacking into buddy's notes on him and comparing them to the outer rim criminal records which leads me to ask the question how much does buddy know? Why would rita be checking outer rim records unless something in buddy's notes pointed her in that direction? I've had my suspicions that she knows more than she's saying for a while but 👀

Nureyev sounds so nervous/scared too...... :(

I had this thought on the first listen but didn't write it down: nureyev is so goddamn smart, like so smart, I don't think he gets enough credit for that. Also him saying "one problem at a time, like [buddy] would say" was - oof. Considering how much time he spends referencing mag's advice in man in glass, even if he's bitter about it, I think that reference is very telling on how he thinks about her

Love the way he skirts around saying they have to move sneakily dhsgjf. Also "only twice" I do love him

Juno joking about his track record on not dying.... oh he's come a long way though

The way that nureyev talks to rita throughout them moving around - he's kind of a natural leader (which, ouch), but also it's clear that he has absolute confidence in her, he doesn't ever doubt for a second that she wouldn't be able to do something. It's obviously a little unempathetic when she's so shaken and doubting herself but also he clearly trusts her almost as much as if not as much as juno, and I do love to hear it

Detective falco? 👀

Juno looking on the bright side! Not blaming himself! Saying maybe it's gonna be okay and believing in her! I cry!

Except for when nureyev is in danger though ): I love that this story never shows recovery in a linear way, that juno is still inclined to beat himself up even if he is better than he used to be. He's growing but it's always gonna be a work in progress!

The fact that dark matters seems to be moving entirely towards remote operation now? Like it makes sense tactically, there's no risk of expending agents in a fight, I'm interested if the writers are gonna dig into that considering the real-world state of drone use in the military and law enforcement

Calling their heist marks "radicals", it seems like dark matters is trying to keep track of or maybe capture rogue (or radical) elements out in the universe - things like the knife and the key, which is probably why they were after m'tendere, they themselves being a radical element. I wonder if this is what brought the crew to their attention in the first place; it's definitely why they want to capture them alive at least, they want information out of them on why they're collecting the same marks

They specifically say two radicals though, and potentially a third, depending on whether the book is counted as the third that might mean they don't know about the map at all, maybe

I mentioned this another time but I'm wondering Again if dark matters was behind the mysterious disappearance of all the theia soul chips except for juno's, esp with what rita said about the interface for the bots being like theia tech - experimental tech like that would deffo be considered a radical element and they definitely could have used it as a basis for these new bots

Peter........ he's in a ROBOT stop being HORNY

"Galaxy-class criminals" huh.

Someone else pointed this out elsewhere idr who but buddy's line that sometimes helping people means trusting them to help themselves despite your concerns, when paired with what's going on with nureyev is.... interesting

WOW buddy is mad though

I'm REALLY wondering how much she knows about what's going on tbh, especially seeing as her pov is probably up next. Aaaaa I'm gonna be yelling for the next however many weeksss

Jet sounds so happy about the ruby being fixed aw

Vespa so nervous about making her announcement AW

Buddy sounds so HAPPY AW

Peter starts laughing right at the end when vespa starts threatening juno which,, oh boy ): I rly hope everything turns out okay ;;

Rita saying that sometimes trying to help someone in pain is being selfish because you just don't want to look at the hurt is a really interesting thing to come from her considering her long-standing relationship with juno, huh

“Before the year is out” is a very vague timeframe, once again thinking that nureyev’s plan may well be to only hand the items over once the heist is done

Anyway once again AAAAA

[avoutput]

Final Fantasy VII Legacy || Nomura, Complex?

This is the 3rd out of 3 articles. Find the second here.

It’s time to get down to mythril tacks. At this point, I have talked about what this game meant to me when it was released and how it’s newest installment fared as a game. Finally, it’s time to talk about the impact the Remake has on what has unexpectedly become a robust and diverse universe. What does this mean for us at large, the players? This is a no-holds-barred SPOILER frenzy about anything and everything in the Squaresoft/Square-Enix pantheon. This means not just the games in the orbit of Final Fantasy VII, but the entire catalog at Square-Enix. To be honest, this is just the introduction, I don’t know if I even have an intent of going so far beyond the purview of the Remake, but in the spirit of the Final Fantasy gatekeeper, Tetsuya Nomura, I refuse to limit myself.

It’s been almost exactly a month since I started writing this article. It took so long to come back to this because I kept finding more and more content related to Final Fantasy 7 that I either forgot about or didn’t even know existed. On my own shelf sits Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, and Crisis Core. I decided to watch Advent Children immediately after beating Remake. As a movie fan and amateur critic, the film is littered with terrible film decisions and was clearly the work of people who spend much of their time penning and creating video game stories. It’s a series of cutscenes without a controller attached and at a certain point, you realize Advent Children was never meant for film fans, but for fans of the game. Specifically for fans desiring an epilogue and more directly fans of Cloud, Tifa, and Sephiroth. The story is almost unintelligible because there is tons of connective tissue left to be assumed by the viewer. It is at once too far removed from FF7 in both linear real time and in-game universe time to be recognizable, and simultaneously inexplicable in what has transpired and why. It takes a crack at explaining it from moment to moment, but largely, it looks like they were looking for excuses to push the characters to act. I am not trying to review the film but rather my intent is to create a modus opendai for the gatekeeper, Mr. Nomura. The more I learned about the world of FF7 that was being created over the years, the more it seemed to lean on the stylings of this one man. In a way, Nomura launched Squaresoft and himself into a whole new stratosphere of fame and broke all expectations. In my first article, I mentioned that for a certain generation of fans, it was the perfect storm, but I would later find out the cause of the storm was Nomura breaking open lightning in a bottle, releasing his brand of design on the world with a multi-million dollar international company backing him.

If I may, let me take a parallel series by the same creator infested by the meta of his own other original creations, namely Kingdom Hearts. In its inception, it looks like two producers at Square were trying to make a 3-D adventure platformer game with characters as popular as Mario, but only the biggest brand on earth, Disney, could possibly beat the king of platformers. Nomura was… walking by and pushed himself into the conversation, and they decided if they could do it, they would let him direct. (Read more here) Yada yada yada, Kingdom Hearts was created. While I can’t seem to find (and didn’t look too hard to find) proof, I can only imagine that with KH having a tenuous new relationship with big-corp Disney, they focused more on a simple game that was straightforward. KH is very much a disney product with a little bit of artificial Nomura sweetener. With its unbridled success, Nomura was unleashed. Kingdom Hearts 2 would go on to be, in my opinion, one of the most unintelligible video game stories ever inscribed to plastic discs. But the power of Nomura’s story-telling is that we all understand it differently. He creates bedrocks, little story islands of unshakable facts that are connected via a salty sea of undefinable liquid moments. Cast out to sea, rudderless and deprived, you try to bring to your mouth this brine only to be dehydrated faster than if you had just sailed the sea and died in the sun between fact islands or lived long enough to tell the tale. And that metaphor is my tribute to Nomura. Long, winding, hard to remember, and just clear enough that you think you got it, but you still have problems with its construction.

It has now been over two months since I have last visited this article. What is keeping me from continuing? The incomplete nature of my knowledge of Final Fantasy VII lore. Unlike the Kingdom Hearts sea, VII is like a series of interconnected caves, and the more you unearth the more you learn. And therein lies the problem. The Nomura-verse is composed of both his methods and his circumstances. His methods, we have discussed, but his circumstance is game development. Unlike movies or books, games obviously have an interactive capability, but they also have a variable development cycle. Some titles come out quickly, others span decades. They also consist of different teams, story writers, directors, and a myriad of producers. This in turn can make it much harder to make a solid universe, especially when new additions start off in a place where a continuous story was never meant to exist. Nomura is at once hindered and strengthened by his circumstances. He can’t tell a better story because the development cycle of his vision is variable, and success is based on sales and popularity. Without success, he can’t create a new addition, and often in games, the end is meant to tie the whole thing up. Were there to be a sequel, a whole new story is thought up and tacked on wherever it fits. Gamers are pretty forgiving of this concept. Still, at the same time, Nomura probably wouldn’t make a concise story because it's not his style. For comparison, see the Dark Souls series. A game that both has deep lore and an involving story, but at the same time, the game doesn’t require you to know a single point to continue moving forward. This is almost the antithesis of Nomura’s style. In Souls, they let the player decide to explore its story caves, but doesn’t confront them with it to continue advancing. This is a strength of  video games. A strength that Nomura keeps using to his disadvantage.

Yet, Final Fantasy VII still excelled to unparalleled heights. It engages you in the same way all of the previous games in the series have, but with a slight departure on the strict fantasy theme, instead a merger with steampunk or semi-future. The series was changed forever, and so was gaming. Instead of doing the Dragon Quest method, expanding on the same universe design with different stories, Final Fantasy was emboldened to try completely random approaches with vector entries like VIII and X. For longtime fans, or fans of their original design, Every future title, MMO or Single Player, would go on to be successful, but not fully realized in their original context. Even the return to form in IX was much more playful than any of the original six entries. Gaming franchises have since become playgrounds for developers. Once they are accepted by fans, developers are emboldened and experiment with what would normally be a new IP, but instead use the financial shield of the famous namesake to move forward with new ideas. And in the case of Final Fantasy, when this concept of change works, it means that every numbered game becomes a wildcard. It’s a double edged sword for a gaming franchise that dates back to the 8-bit era. It has fans over 40 years old by this point and they may be willing to buy anything new. But this isn’t new to you and it isn’t a revelation for me. Final Fantasy VII Remake causes me to reckon with these demons I had buried years ago. It rips off a scab I thought had healed. I had given up on the past, a past where I was excited for a singular story, contained in a single universe, in a single title. I had given up on the glory years of Final Fantasy, but the Remake took me back and said, what if we told you everything you remember about the original was true, and everything we added after that was also true, even though you probably didn’t play it or even know it existed. Even if you do your very best, you probably won’t be able to track the story or interconnected characters if you aren’t in the know. It’s like joining a group of long time friends that are constantly referencing inside jokes, all of them just winking at each other, nudging you in the ribs and asking, “Do ya get it?” Truly, the Remake series thus far makes me feel lost at sea when what I wanted to feel like was coming home.

This retrospective has left me feeling broken. Based on the end of the FFVIIR, I sought out to reconcile all of the loose ends to all the connected media. However, spending time with the prequel Crisis Core for over around 40 hours, I realized this was a crapshoot. None of it mattered. It didn’t enrich the characters, it only made the story longer. It just added wibbly-wobbly, timey-whimey “facts” to an otherwise complete(ish) origin point. The FFVII universe can’t handle the weight that is put on it. It’s a faulty bridge over a treacherous pass. On the other hand, that same bridge for some is a point of excitement. You tread the boards, one by one, testing your weight, hoping to get to the other side intact. And I think that is why we keep trying these games and why they keep getting made. We don’t want the fun to end, despite the fact that it has nothing left for us to be excited by. It’s a closed loop that we keep looking for something new in. By the end of the Remake, we are somewhere between ⅓ or ½ way across the faulty bridge, dangling between where we have been and where it is taking us. At this point, I am too mentally exhausted from trying to make sense of it all. Yet I am incapable of not enjoying it, the mental somersaults one does to understand the interconnected mess that is Final Fantasy VII. It’s too dear to me. I got on the bridge for so many reasons, but the biggest one is to be on the other side with all of the other fans who dared to play and dared to complete the game. To be in the know, to wink across the room. I want to be in that hyper-critical utopia where we all have one thing in common: We played Final Fantasy VII in 1997. And we all have something to say about it.

[gamesception]

@retphienix​ said:

I gotta thank ya for the @ because I struggle to keep tabs on tumblr with all the updates bricking my addons etc x.x Not that I was particularly on top of things before that lol.

god, same, yeah.  no problem.

Also thank you for reminding me that Hollow exists, downloading now because I’m more or less juggling games to see which I intend to sit down and marathon a lot of and that’s a good idea for a title!

I really cannot recommend it enough.  Easily the game I’ve played the most over the last couple years, and probably the game I’ve enjoyed the most since Undertale.  That includes Dark Souls, which I first played during that period, and I *really* liked Dark Souls.

I would love to hear your take on it, when and if you end up getting around to it.  It’s also nice to recommend a game to you that isn’t, like, bad in more ways than it’s good, with the great aspects that do peek out at you through the jank only serving to taunt you with the actually great game that might have been.

I do maintain that a game that’s bad in interesting ways can be a more compelling experience, and make for more interesting analysis, than a game that’s just good, but Hollow Knight isn’t *just* good.  It’s fantastic, in a dizzying myriad of compelling ways that are all interesting to discuss, from the way it builds its tone and atmosphere to the way it highlights the best of what the classic 2d metroidvania has to offer while also sidestepping a lot of the genre’s pitfalls.

I don’t know what it is lately with various games I enjoy or try to keep tabs on suddenly and arbitrarily making difficulty spikes that don’t fit the game?  I mean, it’s hollowknight, it’s a souls like and all that jazz, but you’d know better than me in this scenario since YOU PLAYED IT

It’s not all that bad, since it really is quite overtly segregated from the rest of the main game, and isn’t necessary to get what otherwise feels very much like the actual canon ending.  Honestly, though, I think there was maybe an over reaction on Team Cherry’s part to what seemed to be a relatively common complaint about the base game, one that I would have shared honestly, in that it didn’t feel like there were enough difficult late game bosses to take advantage of the knights full move set.

This is something of a natural consequence of the open design of the game.  It starts out pretty linear, but once you get a couple movement abilities virtually the entire map opens up and you can go almost anywhere, finding meaningful progression pretty much wherever you go.  As a result, though, the devs are almost never sure of what upgrades you already have when you reach a boss, so they couldn’t really include any in the main game progression that required you to have particular upgrades to effectively fight them.

I think the trade off in favor of exploration is worth it, but it does leave a bit of a gap in difficulty for those who are old hats at 2d platformy action games.

But it seems like what the devs heard was “Hollow Knight is a baby game for little children”, and their response was basically

The first three content pack updates added several new and much harder endgame bosses, most of which are a ton of fun and have fantastic presentations.  They even went back and ramped up the difficulty of some of the lackluster bosses in the base game, in particular one boss in one of the few late game areas that does need more of the knight’s move set to reach now calls on the use of those abilities in the fight itself.

And people loved it!  All these expansions went over great.  People loved the Grimm Troupe in particular, in part because of the legendary difficulty of its final boss.  So it’s perhaps not surprising that the devs pushed even further in that direction for the final DLC, one that revolved entirely around bosses, and it’s not surprising that they ended up overshooting the mark for a fair portion of the audience.  And given that there are many players super invested in the lore of the game that found themselves gated out of new endings by an absolutely brutal slog of an overlong boss rush capped off by a much more difficult version of the one boss in the main game that most players already thought was impressively hard?

I really do think the Godmaster DLC is worth trying even for those who go in content that they’ll never beat it.  Some of the fights that can be accessed much earlier in the DLC are really cool and worth experiencing in their own right, but I have nothing against anyone who takes one look at it and just nopes the heck out, and I can’t disagree with those who point to it as one of the few noticeable flaws in what is otherwise a truly majestic game overall.

Some of it probably comes down to that “souls like” moniker.  Hollow Knight really isn’t a souls like.  Its a classic 2d metroidvania action-platformer, that just happens to have a similar tone, story structure, and method of lore delivery that are all heavily inspired by Dark Souls specifically.  And the game really benefits from that influence.  But where the game tries to parrot souls-like mechanics, whether in super hard bosses that the player is meant to throw themselves at repeatedly until they ‘click’, or in the corpse run mechanic, which is overly punishing in the early game when money is hard to come by and some progression paths are gated behind expensive purchases, but means nothing at all in the late game since HK doesn’t have a leveling system like DS does, so once you’ve purchased the stuff you want there really isn’t any cost to losing your cash on hand any more?  That doesn’t work so well.

Worse, it’s actively detrimental to the idea of exploring wherever you like, by pointing the player back in the same direction every time they die, when players in the early mid game might be better served by taking death as an indication that maybe they stumbled into an area that’s a bit much for them right now and they might be better served by trying another path first.

There’s one clear example early on of a particularly tough optional boss fight against multiple opponents.  If the player dies to this boss, the game even puts a friendly npc on the path back who heavily implies that the boss is maybe too tough for them, and the player should look for a way to upgrade their weapon before coming back.  But that npc shows up /before/ the player reaches their corpse, which happens much closer to the boss itself, and by the time you get there to get your money back - again, this is still relatively early game so loss of your money really stings - and by the time you reach your corpse you’re right outside the boss door, and taking another crack at it can feel less daunting than climbing all the way back out of the area.

If you do beat the boss, ... actually, no I wrote a fair bit but no, cut that.  I've got more to chatter on about that but I don’t want to spoil more than I already have.  The point is, while it’s really cool you can beat this boss and the area behind it “early”, and I love that the game lets you do that, the corpse run mechanic pushes players who are less comfortable with the game mechanics to keep throwing themselves at the fight when they might be better served by trying another progression path.

monhun

I haven’t played the the new Taroth or however that’s spelled.   Heck, I haven’t fought master rank jiva either.  The most recent thing I’ve tried is the raging brachy.  I actually found that fight pretty fun.  Reminded me why I like Monster Hunter.  But after seven runs in a row without getting a single reactor drop it also reminded me why I don’t like Monster Hunter nearly as much as you & Bard do.

Still, we should do a few runs together again at some point.

Man, what a thing to type when discussing a souls like, asking to martyr myself mentioning difficulty spikes or difficulty modes/options heh.

Honestly, I kind of share the criticism some people have made of the souls-like genre overemphasizing difficulty.  Mechanical challenge is a key aspect of the games, but Dark Souls 1 in particular is really Not That Hard.  It’s obtuse more than anything else, but once you know what the stats mean, know how to upgrade your weapons, and have a feel for the mechanics, it’s not that bad.  Especially if you take advantage of the summoning / multiplayer mechanics. I know purists can get uppity about getting help, but those mechanics are part of the game for a reason.  Dark Souls is probably the easiest of the souls-like games I’ve played so far once you know how it works.  I’d also say it’s probably my favorite, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

The over-emphasis on difficulty alone when people discuss souls games can get in the way of enjoying them.  For instance, it leads to situations like new players trying dark souls for the first time bumping into the skeletons at the start of the game and thinking “wow, dark souls really IS as hard as they say” instead of “these guys are clearly too tough, I must be going the wrong way”.  It can also lead to developers focusing too much on challenge, and on a particular /kind/ of challenge, and missing out on the other compelling aspects of Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls, including the way Demon’s Souls in particular emphasized delivering a variety of game play scenarios, or how it understood that a well placed deliberate anti-climax of a boss can sometimes be more engaging than yet another straight forward test of reaction time and pattern recognition.

>final achievement BIG CONGRATS, THAT’S SICK! I know what going over the edge on a game renown for challenging gameplay can do to ya, and that’s quite the darn accomplishment!

Thanks!  I’m quite proud of myself, even if there are harder things that I still haven’t done in the game yet, and probably won’t ever.  Stuff not tied to explicit achievements, but that still have little in game rewards or markers that you’ve done them.  I certainly wouldn’t say I’ve mastered the game.  But I’ve probably gone as far as I’m going to go, and I’m quite content with how far that turned out to be.

Not that I’m done with the game.  I’ve played it all the way through three times already, and I can already tell it’s a game I’ll be coming back to replay fairly regularly.

>no thanks, I think I’m good I’m probably projecting since I’ve said the same thing 100 times (or thought to) on this very blog, but I ‘assume and apologize if I’m wrong in doing so’ you say this because you feel some sense of guilt like you didn’t ACTUALLY do all you could and you must put on airs for the blog and let me say, screw that noise.

Oh, no, not at all.  Yes, there’s stuff left that I’m not able to do, and there’s people WAY better at the game than I am, but going by steam achievement records less than 3% of the people who beat the first boss go on to beat the final pantheon, so by that metric I’m in the top 97% of rattatas Hollow Knight players.

So yeah, I feel pretty chuffed with myself.

>Can’t promise it’ll suddenly be my next game, and even if it was it wouldn’t sadly get much showing I suspect because my pc is more or less down. I DID get replacement equipment so MAYBE? But I haven’t sat down and attempted to get my old setup running again.

So it goes.  Again, if and when you do play it, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.  Even if I can’t, like, watch you stream it or whatever.  Honestly, I’d like to be able to just blather on about it to you at more length without feeling like I’m spoiling stuff.

[phoenotopia]

2019 August Update

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the clouds." That's a quote ... that I think succinctly captures what transpired these past 2 months. A lot of progress... but the game is still not done >_<

(extra note: actual quote is land among the "stars", but stars seems like a higher goal was achieved, so I modified the quote).

Anywho, here are some of the things we have accomplished in the past 2 months.

--- ALBUM ART ---

With the sound track essentially done, Will requested some album art. So Pirate and I compiled a bunch of album art that we liked from other games, and from that Pirate made a bunch of concepts - and then we narrowed it down from there, with the 3 of us interjecting our opinions throughout the process, and Pirate doing all the heavy lifting. The album art will be revealed later. For now, here's a teaser of our initial brainstorm process.

(round 1 : brainstorming and concepts)

(round 2 : Survivors from round 1 progress a little more)

--- NEW BOSS ENCOUNTER ---

I thought the scope of what needed to be done for the game was settled, but while writing out the new ending sequence, one part started to drag. There was too much exposition, so after brainstorming a bunch of ways for how this new ending sequence could flow better, it became clear... There needs to be another boss encounter! This boss would really help the pacing of the scene, and it made nice thematic sense and tied up the game's whole story arc in a more satisfying manner. To avoid spoilers, I won't talk it too much, but here's a little silhouette teaser.

(hint: it's not a bat)

--- WRITING ---

Writing doesn't happen linearly since I'll skip around fairly often. It's a delicate balancing act - if I force myself to stick in one area before I move on, progress will grind to a halt, snagged on those last few unscripted lines due to writer's block. But if I skip around too much, the context switch takes some time in itself, and the game can't be enjoyed by playtesters. So for that reason, the beginning and ending sequences are now finished (excluding the credits roll...). But there's still a lot of middle parts to fill in and plenty of side quests still.

For example, there are ~90 NPCs in just Atai town. And each one will talk about 4 text boxes of dialogue (some more, some less). A bunch of NPC dialogue will also change when a big event occurs in the story. So there needs to be a healthy mix of NPCs that push the important story bits, NPCs that push side quest hints, NPCs that talk about geography or history, NPCs that are just for fun, etc. So there's a lot of variables to keep track of.

I've started thinking of better ways to manage it all. One of my new workflows is to use a spreadsheet.

Topics to cover exist in a column on the left. Lines to be spoken by NPCs are stacked  to the right. A cursory glance at the spreadsheet lets me see which conversational topics could use more coverage, and so on.

I even took on new writing help in a young Mr. Cody. Taking on a new writer has been a process because it is not as simple as tossing them some NPCs and letting them run loose. There has to be a ramp-up period for the writer to become familiar with the lore and writing style. There are also unspoken rules about Phoenotopia's universe I implicitly understood and never had to think about. But now that I'm cooperating with someone, I've had to think about verbalizing what those rules are. It takes up more time, but in a weird way, having an outside perspective also helps me understand Phoenotopia more. I also find that I can push through my writer's block more easily when coming from a corrective angle.

I've been quite the strict taskmaster to the new writer, but he's been very resilient and teachable. He's also a great ideas guy. So look forward to Cody's contributions in the finished game!

--- PLAYTESTING ---

The long road of playtesting begins! As mentioned in my previous blog, my goal was to have my brother playtest the finished game during our trip. He didn't get to playtest the *finished* game, but he did get to playtest through a good 40% of it. The game is pretty complete in a linear fashion up until the 40% mark - after that, the rest of the game world exists but the NPCs have placeholder dialogue, and the cutscenes to connect the story events together are still unscripted.

But that wasn't too big a limitation because my brother only reached the 40% mark during the tailend of our trip. My brother preferred to play in 1-2 hour chunks throughout the trip (no marathon session on the plane as originally planned). I think it took him about ~15 hours to get through the game's first 2 chapters and a little extra - unfortunately, the game's timer bugged out so I don't have an exact figure.

Tons of useful information came out from his play test. I wrote down *127* things to fix based on his playthrough - some were small things, like adding more signposting. Others were big issues - a boss stage needed to be redesigned, a needed change to the control scheme, item dupe bugs, etc. I'll speak on some of the ones I've fixed so far here:

A. Warehouse Visibility Low 

For some reason, when starting out my brother completely missed the warehouse where you'd find the starter weapon. He ran past it a few times. Upon inquiring him about it, he said he didn't think it was interactive. Sure enough, all the doors on the left start open, so I see how the misconception could form. When players experience a game for the first time, they're developing a mental image of the game's rules - what's interactive and what isn't. And this early on, the language for doors is still unclear. Per his suggestions, I made this door start open, and moved the camera's edge left a bit to make it less likely to be missed.

B. Eating instructions unclear

Another thing that didn't go as planned was the food eating tutorial. Early in the game, an NPC gifts the player a potato and asks the player to eat it there. After doing so, the NPC gives the player additional tips regarding food. But my brother actually just ran away with the potato so the rest of the tutorial didn't occur. But now with an additional subtle dialogue box, the player is more likely to behave as desired.

(If you design it right, the player won't know you're holding their hand at all)

C. Gear Ring Too Sensitive

One of the game's new features is what I now call the "Gear Ring". The player can equip 8 items to it and quick-access items/tools with a flick of the right control stick. My brother HATED this feature since it was too easy to flick it accidentally when reaching for the regular face buttons. I've now guarded the quick-equip behind an addition RIGHT-CLICK press. Add in a few more FX, and it now works and feels better!

D. Wrecker Too Hard

(In the old boss arena - the 3D printer on the ceiling just made the fight more confusing)

The game's difficulty to players is a big blind spot for me. My brother's no slouch when it comes to gaming. He's beaten all the Dark Souls games and he loves a challenge! So to see him get pulverized in 10 seconds (literally) was a clear sign that the boss was too hard. The boss is able to easily corner the player and there’s no clear opportunity to escape. So I've decided to rearrange the arena - get rid of the 3D printer above and add 2 platforms to the battlefield's edges. This makes the fight more manageable (for the first encounter).

E. Aerial Attacks Too Hard

(Each hit fills the meter at the bottom. Hit the speed bag 10 times in quick succession to win a prize!)

I love the current aerial attack system but there's a steep learning curve to it. Gail takes time to wind up her aerial swing so the player has to time it so that Gail's jump trajectory and swing coincide with the target. Swinging the bat too close to the ground will result in Gail not only failing to attack, she'll be punished with a short "landing lag" recovery state. So aerial attacks are hard it seems. Instead of revamping the system, which I'm still fond of, I've introduced an aerial training course disguised as a mini-game.

So that's a small snippet of some issues I'll sort through with playtesting. Once the game is further scripted, my plan is to do another round of playtesting, followed by fixing. Then rinse and repeat until the whole game is all polished. It seems there's still a long road ahead... So I apologize if I've gotten your hopes up!

--- FANART ---

Three new fan arts popped up in the last 2 months.

The first one is thanks to Cody. G, who's made many fanart submissions before. He continues to improve - really interesting choice of angle and great water effects!

The next two are thanks to Shafiyahh on reddit. Both depictions are of Gale in 2 different art styles and angles. I really like the sparkling effects! Gale also has 2 different eye colors. Which do you think is more fitting?

That's all for now. We'll continue working diligently, and be back with another update come end of September.

[melforbes]

what's been your favorite part of writing seaglass blue? is there a part in particular that you couldn't wait to write? is there one you were avoiding?

to be honest i am 100% flying by the seat of my pants with this which right now is out of character so i haven’t exactly gotten to the dreaded parts yet lmao

i have an ending in mind (and a final line) that i really like but that i have a gut feeling no one else will like but i’m not compromising with it and i’m a little nervous to post that eventually. i’m not nervous about writing it but i don’t think it will necessarily come across well. Like it feels a little end of the sopranos but also it’s not like that at all but it’s the same existential vibe if that makes sense. which it doesn’t at all. but still

i actively avoid dialogue because it’s not my strong suit. i also can’t get the Mulder Voice right (deadpan snark etc) and then throwing in Big Feelings i’m just so out of my element

so far i shockingly haven’t dreaded writing any part of it. i did end up blocked with this last chapter because i hadn’t entirely decided what to do with the plot and the plot i’d thought through and didn’t actually use (and lmao have since forgotten!) just was not working at all so i didn’t write and instead did the whole running in circles thinking it through thing that isn’t writing (i recommend reading atomic habits by james clear ahaha! that running in circles motion gets a massive drag in there) that ultimately was never fruitful AND EITHER WAY i started a new drug for the other side of my life and it gave me wicked insomnia and at two am everything righted itself so i finally figured out where i was going. But that being said i never really dreaded it even though i oftentimes dread a scene or two in most chapters i write and i think the lack of dread comes from how it’s all set up in a very cozy way and it’s hard to dread something like that

i couldn’t wait to write the wedding which is why i dive into it so quickly. And i really wanted to interject parts of their “wedding night” or afternoon or whatever because those were my favorite moments to visualize. there’s another part down the line that i can’t wait to write but i also can’t spoil that haha. i think like...the most anticipated stuff i have coming up for the next chapter (or maybe the one after that depending on how the wordcount shakes out) is a specific conversation about specific things that happens in the dark. and uh i will not elaborate beyond that aldskjasldkjfdalsgj

my favorite part of writing it. this answer is so disjointed i’m sorry. i’ll put the rest of this under a cut because i’m rambling ahaha

my favorite part of writing it has been like...i think this is a multitude of things which is why i wrote msr again after a long unintentional break from it. idk if i ever really mentioned this (or at least if i mentioned it recently) but i started writing msr here in mid 2016 to rekindle my passion for writing while i was very very ill long term, and that culminated in the “everyday msr” archive i have on my ao3, which thus was a log of self-comfort in hard times as well as (unintentionally) documentation of how i neurologically healed during that treatment. so, bizarre. i was in a hard place back then and writing helped me keep my head screwed on straight, and luckily with msr you can write the shittiest things and someone will still be genuinely happy to read it and will look past any lack of talent or training or experience or anything and instead see you, someone having an idea and offering it to others, sharing something for the sake of feeling something good together. that (combined with my own personal gratification of having done something) really helped me emotionally during that time. like when you can’t be of service to anyone in the world, barely even to yourself, it’s really reassuring to hear “i was having a hard day today and this small thing you did eased me” and know that they didn’t need quality or exceptional talent; they just needed you to show up. i’m getting off topic but all of this is a roundabout way to say that i’m essentially back in that same place right now and have been for the past little over a year and like. It’s bullshit ahaha. like it’s absolute bullshit. But it’s strangely valuable to have this like...same connection as i had last time, just in a bit of a different way. it’s still msr, it’s still a kind of Happy Place for me, but there’s an overarching plot, i have other stuff that i write too, etc. but still, i appreciate being able to go back to an original comfort and form that comfort in the same way. the “everyday msr” stuff was intended to be just extended written-out headcanons about domestic msr post iwtb or post revival #1 that i could write in one sitting, and this isn’t entirely different from that; it’s just that the domesticity has a twist and a different era. but it’s the same stuff as before - pictures of misty places, gentle music, living based on the season, being a homebody, cooking for your lover, natural beauty. it’s nice to return to that place right now

another favorite part of writing this is that maine was an important part of my childhood. my family spent a week of vacation there each year (outside of bar harbor, not on mdi but right outside of it) and i kind of associate that purity with it. it feels like one of the only elements of childhood that i haven’t found adulthood corrupting. like we learn that disneyland is just a capitalist hellhole and whatnot when we’re older but maine hasn’t been ruined for me yet and i treasure that. And having them there feels special as a result. i very much on purpose didn’t label a town they’re in (or even base where they are on a real one lol all of that is glossed over enough anyway that i’m not worried about it) but it felt important and right for them to be in maine. it feels special to tap into the very brief time that i shared with the show while i was still a part of its cultural landscape. that sentence makes no sense. in other words i was born in 1997 ahaha. but either way like...i get to people this place that is already special to me and give them love and safety within it and that feels good in a way that i’m struggling to describe. And also i could go on some stupid rant about how Cell Phones Hurt Our Social Circles or whatever but i do genuinely miss rental houses that got 10 blurry channels on rabbit-eared tin foil televisions in a day and age when you normally got way more than that, all while you’re in an era in which boredom is still normal enough that all of that means “well, no tv for this week i guess!” and then you play a board game instead. it feels good to voluntarily create a place like that, then ask in my own life, why don’t i just live like this? And then to struggle through plotting something because there’s no digital numbing with television and smartphones and whatnot, and to understand my own hesitation, and to explore that a little more whether or not it’s in writing

another favorite part (yes i will in fact keep going!) is that the writing style is a little bit atypical from my current norm which allows me certain freedoms that i haven’t really opted for in a while. on the off chance that anyone has read any of my other recent stuff (though this is...a very small chance ahaha) it’s clear that these chapters are much shorter and less prose-heavy than my other stuff is, and that’s really helpful in that editing it is much simpler and writing it happens much quicker. if life were predictable and i had better self-discipline (and better health! can’t discount that one haha) then i could easily get a chapter out every weeks, in comparison to other stuff that i updated once every three months. i’m trying to keep each chapter to being about 3k in length (which they seem to naturally tend toward anyways, i didn’t create that metric so much as just went along with it) and there aren’t frequent “flashback sequences” (there are callbacks and past things brought up, but they’re not significant portions of chapters that go back and forth in timelines and make a nonlinear plot, the linear plot dominates and each scene is more or less in chronological order even if there are callbacks) so i’m not too worried about pacing or structure or anything like that. i never set out to make it “simple” i think it reads better this way and i appreciate that a lot because i can take a break from other stuff that’s a bit more jagged and just do this instead. it’s also nice to write something that i feel is more on the readable side than other things. i think my biggest inspirations for this (which i realized accidentally with the “he wants to brush her hair” line ahaha) were our souls at night and the sunlit night, both of which have a kind of dainty prose style and are a little low on long descriptions but can say a lot with one simple sentence. recently i’ve focused a lot more about darker subject matter and uglier parts of humanity so it’s nice to be able to focus on something that i feel like matters and has a more readable quality to it without actually sacrificing anything in the process or trying to dumb something down

so i think that’s it! that’s my thoughts! this is too long and far too personal! haha!

[superseraphim7]

CURRENT COSMIC ENERGY UPDATE: Mass Exodus & Changing Dimensions 3/11/2019 Tuning into the Cosmic Energies and Varying Collectives occurring, as a part of the Grand/Great Awakening Processes, in varying stages, phases and vibrational frequencies (bandwidths), with each bandwidth "playing out" their relative roles..... As each collective awakens, through the activation of Photonic Light, which occurs on a cellular level within each's body (LightBody), each dimensional body (carbon based, crystalline, plasma), experiences "REAL"ity very differently..... I started a sharing/writing last year that I never completed (it had to take a back seat to our other service roles here), which broke down each dimensions LightBody, starting with the 3rd. Until each becomes fully aware of how all works (from inside), then everything is speculation/supposition and so not understood.... because of how each "measures" and "sees" is still through fractals/old parameters of "what reality is".... For this sharing/article, I will break it down a different way and at some point, complete that article/writing and release it/provide it for those it may assist.... Right now, we have a MASS EXITING occurring... from the "Group Think Mind" of "mind control". Now, I do not use these words to support "I'm a victim", yet the opposite... of the POWER THAT EACH TRULY HOLDS when their own deep inner sacred connection is the POWERFUL FORCE within their own reality and each functions from this place/space inside. Re-establishing our own deep inner-connection with PURE SOURCE CONSCIOUSNESS, will take on many "forms" along the way. As each moves through each Lightbody DNA upgrade/phase, more awareness, more information, more understanding of HOW ALL COMES TO BE CREATED becomes visible... yet at first, without this VISIBILITY (ability to see multi-dimensionally), the version of the "truth" is still a bit "slanted", based upon "individual stories" vs. the much bigger picture that doesn't involve "I was a victim" anymore.... As each AWAKENS to their own SUPREME POWER inside... to the awareness, realization and understanding that they were deep asleep and living deeply embedded in realities that were blanketed in "untruths", held together by "fears", an illusion we all "bought", because it's a part of the "being deep asleep process", which is also a part of "breaking out of that prison/programs/conditioned beliefs (hell)" and deciding to shift perceptions, shift beliefs, shift "alliances" and eventually "shift versions of Earth's we live on".... (from Old Earth to NEW). Many are unaware there's totally different Versions of Earths all running simultaneously, at the same time and for each to "shift" over to a different/alternate/higher consciousness version, each must open their hearts to allow PURITY LOVE CONSCIOUSNESS to EMERGE from within.... and "how each gets here" is not what anyone "thinks" or is "typical". This is the most "untypical, un-orthadox, un-conforming, illogical process" (to the human aspect), because HOW isn't a linear process and the "ways" are not typical or "normal" or available in "one video or book"..... At first, "leaving" or "going against" everything one has been told, conditioned to believe and "thought", it's scary as hell... (which is the point), as the conditioning was meant to "keep" everyone in a reality SO SCARED to GO AGAINST... that the programming becomes the belief which then dictates the physical reality.... of how all "lived". Because each's WHOLE LIFE was built upon a facade.... built upon fears and beliefs so drilled in, so deeply embedded, so "marketed" as true, with books, education and entire societies/communities/cities constructed to uphold this "illusion", to make "unconsciousness" easy... when it's time to emerge from the illusion, from the deep state/sleep/slumber/amnesia of what IS REALLY REAL... CONFUSION, fear, anger and blame are the "first parts of this awakening" process... because each "feels duped", yet this is a part of the illusion too. RIGHT NOW, we are in Mass Exiting (once again), as the "next collective" (a much larger one) emerges from the illusions, emerges from the deeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeep sleep, where illusions and distortions ruled.... and due to "acceptance", were allowed to have control, because FEAR is the ENERGY THAT HELD ALL THERE.... yet.... These COSMIC RAYS AND CONTINUALLY ACCELERATING SOLAR (SOULar) Activity, the increase in ULTRA HIGH FREQUENCIES do many things, all important in this mass awakening/ascension process for all on "this planet" (and beyond). These ultra-high photonic, sonic, gamma, (and so much more) frequencies GO STRAIGHT to the cellular body/DNA, straight to the program, go straight to the constructs, straight to the SOURCE of where all was "housed" (within the body), to activate, stimulate and create a disruption in the old frequencies that kept each "bound" to that dimension/density/reality.... These Cosmic/SOULar Frequencies are LIGHT ENCODEMENTS that disrupt the old "signals" that held the old illusions in place. They go straight to where EACH'S DNA is "waiting" to be activated to AWAKEN FULLY, yet the human aspect is unaware of all still, because there are so many programs, mentalities, beliefs, illusions, distortions to clear in order for one's PHYSICAL BODY/LIGHTBODY to awaken enough through CONSCIOUSNESS to clear the heavy-duty density held within.... This is as much a physical process as it is an energetic one. This is an immense emotional process for awhile, clearing all the hurt, betrayal, inner-pain, anger, hate and distrust, blame, shame, guilt and so much more.... and the process "takes as long as it needs to take", which is often years, because not only must the emotions clear/cleanse the body, the thoughts, the physical density, the beliefs, the resistance and the HOLD THAT EACH'S EGO HAS... every bit has to be "reworked" vibrationally, literally.... in every way. All while the physical reality is being aligned too. Every compromise, every acceptance of anything not PURE, every suppression, every avoidance, every linear thing created/held, every attachment, every lack (power, love, inner-connection), must not only BE REVERSED... all new everything must be created to replace the old.... NEW UNDERSTANDINGS, new access, new ways... of doing things, of thinking, of acting, of living.... our entire lives have to be re-built, re-aligned and re-configured to align on a Universal/Soul/Cosmic Level... which is not an easy task, because "outside" isn't where we go to get our answers (except at first, when we seek/utilize guides to point us inwards to find our own truths/answers, which is the opposite of giving our power away to anyone else)..... Part of the process, for awhile, when collectives are EXITING the old ways, when one has not fully come into their own deep-sacred connection/power within, they will seek outside for "others" to tell them what to do.... because the old way was "rely on others, rely on someone else to think for me", because each doesn't yet "know how" to "think" for themselves... this will create another distortion/parallel experience, if you will, if there are any impurities within the seeker, any compromise of soul/self, any "hand my power over to others", then the cycle of "repeating" an experience to learn WHAT NOT TO DO/BE will occur, as it's a part of each's "learning process" here. There's often alot of drama when this happens, because of the depth of the emotions each still holds and the depth of DEPENDENCY ON OUTSIDE vs. SOVEREIGNTY, which is a part of the transition out of 3D/4D into 5D/NEW Earth Realities.... Let's talk about NEW EARTH for a moment... because I see so many that still don't understand. NEW EARTH IS A VIBRATIONAL REALITY that operates at the FREQUENCY OF SOUL LOVE, where each awakens to beauty, magic, magnificence and a profound sense of PEACE, HOME, bliss, magic and all of this JOY and AMAZINGNESS that we all disconnected from/forgot/were disconnected from, while living beneath the veils (within). As we sleep, as we rest, as we reconnect with nature, as we all go through our own "Dark Nights" (Ego Dissolution/Death), what AWAKENS/EMERGES within US is OUR OWN LIGHT.... is our CONNECTION WITH/AS PURE SOURCE CONSCIOUSNESS, where OUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES, because we've REMEMBERED the ABUNDANCE, we've REMEMBERED the FREEDOM, we've REMEMBERED THE PURITY and the brilliance and our own INNOCENCE, without the distortions/separation/programs... and then it's a process of re-structuring, re-building, creating, re-aligning EVERYTHING WITHIN US and OUT THERE with these "new understandings" (realizations/awarenesses) that DON'T CONFORM TO THE OLD..... This is a process, years and years and years of linear "time", yet because we don't "live" from the linearity anymore, because we function from ZERO POINT, PURE PRESENCE, every dimension/reality/possibility opens up.... through our LIGHTBODIES and our SOURCE CONSCIOUSNESS DNA activating 24/7, as linear goes out the window, our bodies have to continually go through an immense re-writing process through the INTEGRATION OF LIGHT(CODES) that re-do everything FOR US.... and because we function from an "EGO SURRENDERED STATE" our ACTions are PURE... which can be "read" energetically by all tuning into this... OUR LOVE, on a SOUL LEVEL, on a Cosmic Level, on a Galactic Level, every level... can be felt.... this is our ENERGY SIGNATURE that CONNECTS US ALL as PURE SOURCE LOVE CONSCIOUSNESS here.... For each one of us to come to LIVE FROM THIS PLACE/SPACE fully, we all had to be "faced" with everything "not pure". It's a part of the process of CHOOSING and re-aligning all of our realities, which is what collapses/dissolves the old unconscious dimensions, as they were all held in place by each one of us, because we believed "that", because we conformed, because we allowed, because we became submissive... without any awareness that we were... AWAKENING CHANGES ALL --- First, there's each's AWAKENING, THEN ASCENSION BEGINS... this is a totally different PART/PHASE of the whole process... where each RETURNS to a Christed/Pure State of Consciousness, through DIVINE SOUL UNION WITHIN.... this is where everything starts to become VISIBLE ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, one that's not personal in any way, one where there are no victims or perpetrators, because "access" starts to return.... NEW EARTH IS ASCENDED EARTH...which means each LIVES AS THEIR ASCENDED ASPECTS, as pure love, as Conscious Light BEings, yet there are varying levels of this too, as this accelerates all new phases relative to various LightBody phases, as each EMBODY'S FULLY and re-aligns their whole life too..... This is not an "easy" process of re-constructing our entire reality according to all new "codes", because the more unconscious and deeply embedded/asleep we were, the more we go through to awaken and 're-do". NEW EARTH IS EXPERIENCED FROM DEEP INSIDE. IT'S OUR PURE LOVE and OUR DEEP SACRED CONNECTION, IT'S A FULLY REMEMBERED STATE where our bodies and physical realities are constantly shifting into much higher states of consciousness than before, yet the oscillation rate of these cycles INCREASE to be so "fast", that all linearity goes and we live from a fully Quantum State of Consciousness that doesn't' function like linear/dense realities did. We all gain the abilities to TUNE OUR CONSCIOUSNESS to varying levels and frequency bandwidths, which open up portals, gateways, passageways to varying dimensional realities that already exist (because all has already occurred) and we function from 'THOSE', while we "do" our every day, which is very different than the old ways, in every way. How we move through all, how we see, how we do all... becomes very simple, because the density (slowness which is relative to processing speeds/light) is very different too.... NEW EARTH IS WHERE WE LIVE INSIDE, as Photonic Light BEings, as Soul-Star-Light BEings, with photonic/plasma access and realities that are fluid, synchronized with a Cosmic Rhythm and Harmony that's always "in-tune". When it's not, we know it and we honor this, yet our capabilities are different, because of the PEACE, LOVE, HARMONY WE HOLD WITHIN.... We treat everyone with immense kindness, we truly care, we are able to maintain our own Deep Sacred Connection with all, so we never shift out of pure gratitude, appreciation and living from an abundant state, which means that we don't hold the conditioning, programming and limits of the old. We share, we support, we inspire, we uplift, we live from PURE JOY and recognize all... We see everything, without the blinders/cords/illusions of before. We see PURITY and we SEE lack.... which gives us the ability to assist/guide others who are open to accessing/achieving this within themselves fully too, yet we have no desire to take on the responsibility of others energetically saying they are not ready to do what it takes to live PURITY CONSCIOUSNESS from within themselves yet. We understand what compromise creates, we understand how we each have to choose, because in the choosing, we take responsibility and are saying WE ARE READY TOO. The responsibility we speak of is not like the old ways.... it's a very different responsibility (many argue this, yet that's ego matrixes too). Our RESPONSIBILITY is to HOLD THE HIGHEST STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS AS LOVE HERE and to SHOW THE WAY, LIGHT THE PATH and BE THE ONES/THE CHANGE and to create the space and hold it for all others to choose this fully too. NEW EARTH IS AN ENTIRELY NEW MATRIX SYSTEM, YET IT'S NOTHING LIKE THE OLD It's a Crystalline/Christed "matrix" that is connected and woven through LIGHT. It's a NEW SYSTEM that we all CREATE AND LIVE as Ascended (Returned/Remembered) Light BEings here. It's us inner-connected, us as ONE, it's WE CONSCIOUSNESS through UNITY and PURITY and UNITING to BE NEW EARTHERS here. WE Shine Light, WE Share as Light, WE affect all as LOVE and we hold the "new" in place... as the "new" is not "new"... it's what we all "lost"/disconnected from/forgot, while living beneath the veils.... THE VEILS ARE INSIDE, IT'S THE SEPARATION ALL HOLDS, IT'S PHYSICAL MATTER/DENSITY as well as immense unconscious programming represented by suppressed/repressed emotions/thoughts, beliefs/mentalities of less, lack, fear, judgement and the ABSENCE of PURE DIVINE LOVE. NEW EARTH .... you/we BECOME and ARE NEW EARTH... WE, as multi-dimensionals can see/experience all from a multi-dimensional level and choose from a multi-dimensional level too. One cannot just "say the words" that sound intelligent or pretty or cool... HERE ALL HAVE TO LIVE IT, BE IT and our ENERGY SPEAKS FOR US.... as all is VISIBLE HERE.... because we live as ENERGETIC BEINGS, WE READ ENERGY, WE COMMUNICATE ENERGETICALLY and words are only use to describe, teach, explain and bring into a higher state of consciousness, what "isn't yet". In the beginning, NEW Earth isn't even real. Then it becomes a place we see in our sleep or waking state DREAMS.... then we start to experience it through subtle inner-actions that are silent, connected and peaceful, pure and innocent... yet then the process begins of "HOW TO LIVE THIS ALL OF THE TIME", which is where all of our parts come in.... We sleep/dream ourselves awake and anchor dreams from our "dream state" into/through our physical here. THESE COSMIC FREQUENCIES and PHOTONIC LIGHT assist with transitioning from parallel to parallel to alternate realities and clearing distorted ones.... these photonic frequencies do everything only understood as/after we go through it all... as the KNOWLEDGE FOR HOW comes through our own actual experiences here, otherwise it's just regurgitation, just like old earth realities were.... A fully SOUL ALIGNED REALITY is SIMPLE and not creating fractals/parallels to experience (learn from) anymore. As each come to TRULY UNDERSTAND that there's not just ONE VERSION OF EARTH RUNNING ANYMORE..... it makes it easier for each to "choose" a much higher dimensional version than before. As each truly come to understand (get it deep within), that NEW EARTH IS OUR PHYSICAL REALITY EXPERIENCES that are a VIBRATIONAL MATCH TO US... (as is old earth, yet focusing on NEW EARTH right now)..... EACH STARTS TO PAY ATTENTION to what they are holding, transmitting, allowing, believing, calling forth and surrendering to, understanding that it's OUR OWN ENERGY and HOW WE SHOW UP/ACT that determines the experiences we all have here. We've reached another nexus point, a turning point if you will, another one, because these are always occurring as we all continually up-shift, while anchoring/integrating/holding higher states of consciousness from within us and radiating this out to affect, shift, recode all..... When I awoke to the words "Mass Exodus", I had to go look up Exodus to see what it meant. If everyone drops the "linear" and looks at the energy/metaphor... it relates to masses exiting the "slavery of humanity" phase, which correlates to the "survival mode" where enough hearts have opened fully for more to transition through higher awareness, instead of living by the old conditioning held in place by "fear". Yes, clearing fear, judgement, lack is an immense process, because it means going deep within. We are going to see the most intense DARK NIGHT for many collectives going through their own "exit"/transition processes of resolving separation/duality within, so that their own LIGHT CAN BURST THROUGH and be their own Guiding Light too... The process of RE-CONNECTION and REMEMBERING and ONENESS occurs within each one of us as we are ready and our hearts open enough, as our walls of Armour/protection come down, as our own distortions come up for us to see/clear and as WE DO THIS OURSELVES... We can be guided, we can be assisted... along the way, yet no one can do these parts for us, we have to do them ourselves... and the human ego aspect has been convinced/convinced itself it's not able/capable/can't and "needs" something/someone else to "help". Yes, we have to open up to this, if we were so strong we wouldn't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, open and "seen", yet there's a huge difference in opening to that softness and relying on others, which is just "displacing our own POWER" again.... NEW EARTH.... all are Sovereign and not playing out lack games, not blaming others, not taking on others stuff and clearing the immense DISTORTIONS OF LOVE. OUR LOVE IS PURE.... and through this purity we will hold all to a place of Sovereignty, because we don't see the lack. We see the stories, the BS, the games that the ego plays, yet we see the beauty, the purity and the magnificence of EACH when all are LIVING AS PURE SOURCE CONSCIOUSNESS LIGHT too... A NEW EARTH EXISTENCE means that you live free from the old distortions, free from the lack, free from the programming/CONDITIONING and you live from your Quantum State too.... It means that you show up, you hold your own, you are kind and you "get it all" with your whole being and you don't bring your lack to the table, because that's all the old BS programming and illusion that we all see beyond. NEW EARTH is YOU LIVING AS A NEW EARTHER... you living as LOVE... you fulfilling your highest roles/purposes/missing, without "needing" anything... because you've cleared your own akash, because you've REMEMBERED and you are excited to share, excited to uplift, excited for all to UNITE, to create, to strengthen the NETWORK of all of us who are RECONNECTED on an ENERGETIC LEVEL with Gaia, Universally, Cosmically.... NEW EARTH IS YOUR "CREATION", it's you LIVING YOUR MAGIC AND JOY... and it's you being visible, open, honest, REAL and not making an apology for not conforming to the old lack systems of old earth anymore.... because you've TRANSCENDED THE BELIEFS, the programming, the mentalities and the ENERGY of SEPARATION from deep within you too... you are not projecting your "stuff" and you are not taking on "others" "stuff".... that was the old ways too... IT'S ALSO you/all of us fulling higher service roles. NEW EARTH is you respecting all... from the DEEPEST MOST SACRED AND CONNECTED PLACE WITHIN YOU... living from this DEEP SACRED RESPECT with your every act, with your every breath and not accepting any less ever again.... because you don't have to, because you woke up and YOU'VE REMEMBERED YOURSELF AS PURE SOURCE CONSCIOUSNESS too. Drop the ego games, drop the "fronting", drop the "pretending", drop the "stories", drop it all.... as THAT is your DIS-EMPOWERED and DIS-CONNECTED STATE of Consciousness.... IF YOU TRULY OPEN YOUR HEART AND MIND AND WHOLE BEING and UNIFY TO/FROM/AT your absolute highest FREQUENCY OF PURE LOVE and you walk as this throughout your day, you live as this with your every ACTion, you breathe this as your ONLY REALITY then it's guaranteed that your "REAL"ity will "change". This is because YOU ARE BEING LOVE and you are treating others with kindness, consideration, respect, compassion and taking all into CONSIDERATION - BEFORE you allow your old programming to enter back in. WHEN YOU HOLD THIS EXPANDED STATE ABOVE ALL AND YOU LIVE IT FULLY.... NEW EARTH WILL BECOME YOUR ONLY REALITY TOO. Location will not matter, the people won't matter... because the LIGHT YOU HOLD DICTATES....and once you are able to hold this fully "no matter what", then your physical will start to take new shape, open up new opportunities, open up new possibilities and "take you in new directions", because you changed your whole vibration to a whole new dimension, so the next steps are to move your body to the new physical dimension or to experience the new physical dimension as it arrives for you! ♥ As you LIVE FROM NEW EARTH INSIDE OF YOU.... NEW EARTH WILL "APPEAR" (MATERIALIZE) OUTSIDE as a vibrational/energetic response to you.... This is how we all do/did it. This is how we "know". ♫ Happy magical everything. "How long is up to you". "When" is too... as time is not linear, it's vibrational and relative to the amount of LIGHT HELD... as we go "up" in vibration and "expand" out.... to experience the vastness of multiple dimensions all simultaneously, which is how MULTI-DIMENSIONAL EARTH IS EXPERIENCED for all of us here. ♦ NEW EARTH IS WHERE WE ARE RE-BIRTHED THROUGH/TO EXPERIENCE/LIVE... HEAVEN ON EARTH BECOMES OUR NEW HOME (INSIDE AND OUT), BECAUSE WE LIVE FROM HEAVEN WITHIN... WE DON'T CHOOSE/ALLOW HELL ANYMORE. THAT WAS A PART OF THE OLD ILLUSORY PROGRAMS HELD WITHIN US ALL TOO. Lisa Transcendence Brown ☼ www.AwakeningToRemembering.com

[alexchristin]

A Different Approach to Difficulty

The problem of difficulty in games has been debated to great depths for a long time. Various alternatives to the traditional approach with different difficulty modes at the beginning of a particular game have been proposed, analyzed and implemented. And yet, as much as they patch up the errors of the traditional approach, within them arise numerous inherent problems and difficulties. As such, I would like to propose another alternative–not so much a mechanical solution that requires implementation, but rather a different approach to difficulty design.

One thing I’d like to stress is that, this has been applied in various games quite successfully before, and I’ll mention them later on, but not to the extent to which it can deservedly become a central design philosophy, in my opinion. This I presume is due to a lack of a rather clear and deliberate approach to difficulty design.

But first, let me attempt to briefly summarize a few popular criticisms of the traditional difficulty modes approach and its alternative.

Problems with Difficulty Modes

Picture yourself coming into a brand new game, only to be asked to choose a difficulty mode that’s suitable for yourself, and presented with a number of different menu options. And frankly, they don’t do that good of a job at giving you sufficient information to make such an important decision. This is how many games in our history have done difficulty, and it continues to be fairly prevalent among modern games.

Here are its common criticisms:

Asking the player to make such a decision right at the beginning is not exactly a good idea. To select a difficulty mode before the game even starts is to make a major commitment based on very little information available (e.g. a short description). Once the player has selected a difficulty, they are probably going to live with it for the entire playthrough.

Even if the game allows the player to change the difficulty mode later on, it is, in itself, still not a very good idea. For one, explicitly selecting a difficulty mode in a menu-based manner is certainly not an interesting choice that games strive to offer their players. They do not have to weigh anything against anything. They do not have to analyze the risks and rewards coming as a result of each option. And generally speaking, players are not going to be good at weighting short-term convenience against long-term enjoyment. They just do not know the game enough.

Such approach would defeat the entire point of progression through unlocking higher and better tools to enhance and assist with gameplay. It would go against the intended gameplay experience from the game designer. And most importantly, it would make the player feel judged for not choosing a higher difficulty.

There have been several solutions to negate these issues, of which Mark Brown has gone into depths in one of his videos. However, not one of them was able to solve them all and still maintain immersion.

Dynamic Difficulty Adjustment

The idea of Dynamic Difficulty Adjustment (or DDA) hinges on the theory of the player’s Flow State, in which the player is completely immersed, and the game’s difficulty feels just right. Any more difficulty will cause frustration and break immersion. Any less difficulty and the player will quickly find boredom, and you guessed it, lose immersion. Therefore, as designer Andrew Glassner put it in his book Interactive Storytelling, games “should not ask players to select a difficulty level. Games should adapt themselves during gameplay to offer the player a consistent degree of challenge based on his changing abilities at different tasks.” Or in other words, games should be implemented with a performance evaluation system as well as a dynamic difficulty adjustment system in order to adjust itself to accommodate the infinitely different and ever-changing characteristics of players. More on the technical details of DDA can be found in Robin Hunicke’s 2005 paper The Case for Dynamic Difficulty Adjustment in Games.

However, while the Flow State theory admittedly has its merits, the DDA approach doesn’t go without its numerous downsides:

Some players, when they find out about DDA, hate it. Especially when DDA cannot be turned off, the player ends up feeling patronized, and not respected by the game as an adult, capable of taking on challenges and improving him/herself.

Players can, and will, learn to exploit DDA by pretending to be worse at playing than they actually are. And oftentimes, a DDA system will require some sort of break time in order to avoid revealing itself to the player, thus not able to quickly adapt itself to the player’s ostensible skill level.

DDA inhibits the player’s ability to learn and improve. As soon as the player improves, the difficulty ramps up to match their skill level, thus eliminating the possibility of positive results. If the player cannot see some sort of feedback from the game regarding their performance, they cannot know whether any changes in their approach to gameplay were effective.

DDA may create absurdities. One of the popular example of DDA going awry is the rubber-band effect in racing games, where opponents speed up and slow down seemingly for no reason in order to adapt to the player’s performance.

DDA is incompatible with some forms of challenge. If the challenge in question is numerically-based, then DDA can work easily. However, when the challenge is symbolical, with pre-designed elements that are nakedly visible to the player, often having only one or a few intended solutions, then DDA cannot work.

There are many interesting and nuanced approaches to DDA that I won’t mention since that’s beyond the scope of this segment. While I imagine there are going to be a lot of way to make DDA functional and sufficiently inscrutable through clever algorithms and implementation, I am rather discussing the fundamentals.

Organic Difficulty in Games

There seems to be a number of different terms to address this approach, but just for this article I’m going to use the term “Organic Difficulty.” This is something that has been tossed around in the last decade or so.

The basic idea of Organic Difficulty is that the game does not ask the players to select or adjust their preferred difficulty via GUI-based commands, nor does it automatically adapt itself to match with the player’s performance and progress. But rather, the game allows the player to interact with it in certain ways to make it easier, or harder, for themselves. These take the form of tools, approaches, strategies, input sequences or methods, etc. which should often come with some sort of trade-off.

This is something that has been implemented in a number of games including From Software’s Dark Souls, which Extra Credits has dedicated an entire episode to, and which everyone should take a look.

In Metal Gear Solid V, for every mission the player has completed, there’s a score rating system which provides a rough overview of the player’s performance based on a number of factors such as stealth, lethality, accuracy, completion speed, whether the player has completed any mission tasks, and what tools they used. While the player does get minus points for mistakes such as getting detected, raising enemy alert, taking hits, etc. some other factors are not as clear-cut as to how they constitute minus points aside from narrative reasons. The player can always go on a lethal rampage, tossing grenades at everybody in sight, or calling a support helicopter to airstrike the entire enemy base. The player is provided the tools to do exactly all of those, and they’re always just a few buttons away, and the worst they get is a C rank, provided they completed the mission, and a slight dip in their earnings.

Another example of this can be found XCOM: Enemy Within. There’s a “cheesy” tactic in the game that can almost ensure victory, which is to have a unit with the Mimetic Skin ability to safely spot the enemies, thus enabling a squadsight-sniper from across the entire map to pick them off one-by-one safely without any real repercussion. This strategy is extremely effective in virtually every mechanical aspect of combat, with the only risk being that the spotter must not be flanked for they would instantly lose invisibility. The actual problem with this strategy is that it’s incredibly boring: your snipers just simply shoot every turn, and you can only take a few shots every turn, not to mention reloading. This strategy is best suited for beginners and people who have made mistakes and want to get out of the downward spiral. While on the other end of the spectrum, there are players who understand how the game and the AI of every alien unit in the game work, so they are more confident about moving up close and personal with enemies with minimal armor. Because for them, it’s not about defending against the enemies, but about manipulating, “nudging” the enemies into behaving the way these players want them to (e.g. nobody needs armor when enemies are only going to attack the tank; nobody needs to take good cover when enemies are too scared to move to flank in front of an Opportunist-overwatch unit; etc.)

The above examples seem to imply a few important points regarding difficulty:

Difficulty should not only be designed around the mechanics of a game. It should also take into account the aesthetics or elegance of those very mechanics.

Punishment does not always have to be tangible or significant, as long as it is enough to indicate to players that they are straying off the intended experience. A good analogy would be physical pain. The pain itself is not what’s causing harm to your body. The physical wound is. Pain is merely a bodily signal to let you know that what’s happening right now is pretty bad and you probably shouldn’t let what just happened happen again. But remember, the choice is ultimately yours!

It may not be a good idea to put people on the linear graph of “gaming skill” where some people are simply “softcore, not-so-good at video games” and some other are “hardcore and always challenge-seeking.” The idea alone is absurd, because players on such a graph would move up and down constantly, even during a single playthrough. Some people pick things up faster than a game can predict with its tutorials’ pacing. Some people due to real life reasons have to abandon the game for some time, and they lose a bit of their touch when they come back to it.

Instead of judging the player’s skill and trying to accommodate every possibility, games should be judging player interactions instead, using a spectrum between Effectiveness and Aesthetics of Play (or what I shall humbly name Ludoaesthetics).

The Effectiveness-Ludoaesthetics Spectrum (ELS)

On the Effectiveness-Ludoaesthetics Spectrum (ELS), difficulty exists only at the lowest technical level. Each end of the ELS represents what each player wants at a certain point in the game with certain conditions. On this spectrum, games are designed with the player’s interactions, approaches and strategies in mind, each with its own degree of effectiveness and ludoaesthetics. These are not solely defined by mechanics or the player’s skill level, but rather the way in which they are experienced and perceived by the player.

Effectiveness refers to how well the player can progress and achieve their goals in a game using the set of tools they’re given and the strategies they’re allowed to formulate. How easy those tools are to use, and how good they are at helping the player progress towards the game’s intended goals, primarily constitute Effectiveness. Players who aim towards and stay on this end primarily look for the most effective ways to achieve the intended goals of the game (which of course include playing the game the easy way).

Ludoaesthetics refers to the perceivable aesthetic appeals of the aforementioned set of tools and strategies given to the players. Players who aim towards this end do not necessarily look for the most effective ways to achieve the intended goals. But rather they tend to look for the added intrinsic benefits derived from unconventional play. These benefits include:

Superficial Attractiveness: Visual and auditory appeal of using the subject matter or the subject matter itself. It can be represented by any entity the player can recognize in the game such as a character with great visual design, a badass-looking weapon with satisfying visual and sound effects, etc.

Competitiveness: a.k.a. bragging rights. This is rather self-explanatory. There is always that portion of players who keep seeking greater and greater challenges to prove themselves to the world. They may even go as far as handicapping themselves with arbitrary limitations to heighten the challenge.

Greater sense of satisfaction derived from greater challenges that may go beyond the goals intended by the game. People who have been through heights of overwhelming odds know about, and may expect, the immense amount of satisfaction that comes with them.

Narrative Fantasy: Players may look for things that may not be effective or productive in terms of gameplay because they would align with the narrative better (in games that understandably contain some degree of ludonarrative dissonance), or they would add an extra layer of depth and intensity to the narrative and thereby enhancing it. Essentially, they’re sacrificing gameplay optimality to elevate their narrative fantasy.

Design for Ludoaesthetics

The point of designing for ludoaesthetics is NOT to create increasingly harder challenges in order to accommodate the player’s increasing skills (though that is not to say such approach has no merits whatsoever). But rather, it is actually to encourage players to strive for aesthetics in their gameplay and to lean more towards the right side of the spectrum.

Here are a few suggestions on how to go about it.

Creating more depth

Depth refers to the amount of space the player is allowed to make interesting choices using the set of tools they’re given by a game. For a more detailed explanation of what Depth is in comparison to Complexity, you can take a look at Extra Credits’ episode on Depth vs. Complexity.

Essentially, Complexity is the amount of constituent elements that make up a game, and Depth is the degree of interactivity between those elements. The very nature of ludoaesthetics has to do with the deviation from the default, intended approach (a.k.a. Playing “by-the-book.”) Therefore, the more those elements “talk” to one another, the better chance it is for ludoaesthetics to emerge, because then the player will be able to find more different ways to control or manipulate each element.

[Also read: Design for Theorycrafting]

Depth is pretty much the prerequisite for ludoaesthetics even as a concept to exist. Without a lot of depth, the window of opportunities for ludoaesthetics get significantly lower or completely non-existent.

Creating patterns suggesting the possibility of gameplay aesthetics

Adding more depth is not only about simply adding more stuff in a game and making them as obscure as they possibly can be. It is also about leaving breadcrumbs to suggest that there is more than meets the eye, therefore encouraging players to explore further possibilities. What kind of depth to even add? And how does one go about communicating it?

Below is a conceptual representation of a set of challenges typically found in video games.

Each challenge is represented by a window of failure and a window of success. These windows can be spatial, temporal, symbolic, strategic, or a combination of all. They are the spaces in which the player enters by behaving in a certain expected way. Secondly, the black line represents the player’s interactive maneuvers: where to get across and which direction to turn to next, in order to overcome the set of challenges without stumbling into the windows of failure.

For example, say we have a situation in a 3D platformer game where the player is facing a pit, and across the pit leaning towards the right side there is a narrow platform. In such a scenario, we can assume that the window of failure includes any and all sets of behaviors that lead the player plummeting down the pit, and the window of failure includes those that lead the player to landing on the platform across the pit safely.

Now consider the same representation of challenge above, but this time with a slight deliberate arrangement.

As you can see, the sizes of the windows of failure and the windows of success stay exactly the same, but the positions of the windows of success have been altered so that they align somewhat (but not exactly aligned to the point of being too obvious). You can see that nested within the windows of success is a narrower window where the amount of the player’s maneuvers stays extremely minimal. Stepping into this window offers the opportunity for a non-disrupted gameplay flow, where a deliberate and guided set of behaviors will let the player “breeze” through the challenges seemingly almost with ease. This window is where ludoaesthetics occur.

Of course, the downsides of it are aplenty: it can be extremely difficult to realize such a window exists in a real scenario. And in order to stay inside such a narrow window, the player has to be extremely precise and/or smart in their gameplay. You can think of this window of non-disrupted flow as an intended “weak point” of the challenge, where a single and concentrated attack will break the whole thing apart in one fell swoop. But the process of identifying such a weak point, and delivering the finishing blow with great accuracy may require a lot of trials and errors, and can be extremely tedious and/or difficult.

An Example from Master Spy

A common manifestation of ludoaesthetics comes in the form of speedrunning. Finishing with speed is, for the majority of games, not the primary intended goal. Games are rarely ever designed to be speedrun, and most players do not have to finish any games at high speed in order to not miss anything. So speedrunning has always been a sort of arbitrary self-imposed challenge by those who seek greater sense of enjoyment from their favorite games.

However, there are a few exceptions. And you can find the above mentioned window of non-disrupted flow in levels like this one from Master Spy by Kris Truitt.

In this game you play the role of the Master Spy, to infiltrate ridiculously well-guarded buildings, palaces and fortresses with a huge number of different enemies, hazards and contraptions standing in your way. And you are given no tools whatsoever but an invisibility cloak that can help you sneak past the eyesight of certain enemies while halving your movement speed.

In the example above, your goal is to retrieve the keycard on the other side of the wall slightly to the right of your starting point, and then to escape through the white door right above your starting point safely. And while your cloak can get you past the eyesight of the guards, it is of no use whatsoever against the dogs, who can smell you even when you’re cloaked and will sprint forwards to attack you at horrendous speed as soon as you’re on the same ground as them.

So what you have to do as a sequence of actions in this level is first to cloak yourself, then drop down from the first ledge past the the first guard, then quickly decloak to regain speed as the cloak is useless against the incoming dogs. Then before the first dog reaches you, move forward to the right, then quickly jump up. Keep jumping to retrieve the keycard while avoiding the second and third dog. Cloak up, then get on the ledge with the three moving guards. Finally, jump to the left to reach your destination.

However, as you can see from the footage above (courtesy of a speedrunner nicknamed Obidobi), as soon as the player reaches the ledge with the three moving guards on the right, the guards turn to the other side and begin moving away from where the player is, effectively freeing the player from having to cloak and having their movement speed halved. And then right before the player reaches for the white door, the guard on the far right is about to touch the wall and thereby turning back to the left. This is such a tiny window of success that should the player not have begun moving right after they start the level and stayed uncloaked at the end, they would have failed. The level is designed in such a way that it can be completely solved without wasting any moment and action.

Is it significantly more difficult to play this way? Yes. Was this arrangement absolutely necessary? Not really. But the designer made the level with the expectation that people are going to speedrun the game and will be looking to optimize their timing with each level. Thus, the levels in Master Spy are designed so that should the player start looking to speedrun the game, they will easily recognize that sweet, sweet window of non-disrupted flow. It is an immensely satisfying experience to discover it.

Ensure Usability

As usual, it is easy to get too extremely logical about design and forget all about the equilibrium, which is almost always what design is about.

In this case, it is important that designers must ensure that whatever tools they’re making for their players to achieve ludoaesthetics, MUST have at least some sort of usability, even if it’s incredibly niche or extremely difficult to pull off. Things that serve nothing and mean nothing are NOT aesthetic. Say you have an RPG, and one of your players goes out of their way in order to build an unconventional character because they see some sort of future potential from this build, only to find out later that when they’re finished with the build, the meta of the game has changed and the window of opportunity for such a build has long passed. This means that the entire amount of depth you added, and the ludoaesthetics you might have intended by allowing that player to go in such away, is utterly useless and entirely wasted. So always remember to ensure usability for everything you add in your game.

Conclusion

Organic Difficulty and the ELS are not only, and not necessarily, an alternative solution to the whole difficulty problem. But rather, they represent an entire paradigm shift away from the idea that games should find more and more complex ways to serve players with different skill levels, and towards a design philosophy where players are given integrated tools within the context of games to set their own difficulty at any point without breaking immersion and perhaps the extra baggage of shame. It is not enough to have your players stay at the same level of difficulty throughout the game, or dynamically adjust the difficulty on the fly to suit them. It is best, in my opinion, to let your players cook to their palate. Just make sure that the process of cooking and the game itself are one and the same.

[everythingisbetterwithpirates]

Mind, Body & Soul: Dialogue Series II

Regarding: A Dirty Little Secret

Thunder echoed far away, resembling the chaos taking place on the other side of the world. Far enough that it did not come with a rumble. On a soft slope in the sandy beach, Margharette sat. Without weapons or a fancy suit. No monocle to help hide what hid in her dark blue eyes. Instead, she wore a comfortable white camisole. It matched her cotton shorts. Feet half-sank into the grains. To her left was a fuzzy coconut. It was decorated with a bright, pink umbrella and aided by a bendy straw.

What would have been a linear horizon slowly turned into a steamy, textured one. Lightning brought out the shapes hidden in the distance. And for a brief moment, the far away beats of thunder matched the rhythm of her heart. Margharette picked up her coconut, guiding the straw to her lips and watching the storms loom in the night sky.

{ Mind, Body and Soul will be expressed through three different beings.}

Rette was a fancy woman of fancy tastes. Her adoration towards all things beautiful and elegant extended beyond jewels and fabrics. Long, dark hair intricately braided behind the ears. It rose to the impossibly tight and well rounded bun at the top of her head. She was dressed in a sleek garment. Intricate embroidery which followed the movements and patterns of spiders and snakes outlined some features while shimmering, golden fabric did the rest. She drank from a saucered teacup that flared at the rim.

Mar was a physical duplicate of Rette, but she lacked the pretty dress. She lacked clothes in general. And her hair was not impeccably tied into a knot. It was loose. Slung carelessly over her freckled shoulders and back. Mar sat with her knees hugged closely to her chest. Directly across from discipline, sat relaxation. She drank from a coconut with a little pink umbrella sticking out from the side.

And then there was Gha. Only the woman’s silhouette persisted in this image. That and her typical business attire. It was a faceless being with a tight knot around it’s neck. No defining features beyond a head, a torso and functional limbs. Ashen, roughly textured skin made up her exposed extremities. There was no drink to be shared with the group. Only folded hands.

Even the empty seat across from Gha had been served with a pair of coffee cups. One was of regular size and the other a miniature version of it.

In the middle of a table was Frank the Cactus. His home was a simple, handcrafted ceramic pot. Pebbles and dirt secured him firmly in place. And as the group readied to converse, it tilted to the right.

Mar sucked from the straw before she placed the coconut on the table. 

Mar: "Without our dreams, we would be stuck to the ground. You go higher. And higher... "

Mar paused, staring off into the unknown. 

Mar: " ... but then you get too close to the sun."

Rette: "Is that where you burst into flames?"

Mar: "Something like that." Words were spoken with a knowing grin. 

Gha: "Tell us-s-s anyway. Enjoy it. Do it. When things exp-p-plode."

Across Mar's shoulder, a transluscent plume of dark purple stroked. Soothingly so.

Mar: "Why linger in the abyss when we can gently glide across the skies? No. I want to do it. I will pursue this ardent adversary into whatever it leads to. Dark roads do not disturb me. Not living while I am alive does."

Gha's entire form shivers. It begins at the top, where two depressions on the raw and skin like texture of it's body seemed to be drawing the shape of a frown. A thick and tar-like substance oozed. Where it once created the illusion of a finely crafted business suit, it now rolled and ransacked with agitation, removing all regularity from the uniform. The would-be lines over the head deepened. A gaping maw was left behind, one that revealed nothing more than agitation in the form of black and purple needles.

Rette looked between Mar and Gha, bringing her flowery cup of tea to her lips for a long drink.Pretentious nostrils flared in preparation for battle between two stalwart sides of the same coin. For a moment, her attention drifted to the empty seat to her right. Just a cup next to another. One big. One small. Both deserving of more. She cleared her throat and turned towards the others.

Frank danced to the left without a sound.

Rette: "Very well. We shall discuss. let us begin with the obvious. Present dangers. Precautionary measures have been taken, but all it takes is one tiny error and it is over. It will spread all across this table. So much so that it becomes it."

Mar: "Oh, aye. We would cease to exist as is. But this picture is no longer just stormy skies. His plans bring a possibility that cannot be ignored. If he succeeds, it could be just like a scene from a play. Walking down the garden. Holding hands.”

Mar's gaze turned to Gha who was quietly brooding and staring into the empty seat across, to Mar's left. 

Mar: "... Maybe someone crying or dying in the background. Nothing unnatural."

Gha's faceless face shuddered.

Rette: "His predatory nature will surely persist through the split. Strong on both sides, but only one would pose a high level of danger -- and it is not going to be the real him. Of course, it should be noted that I believe my words to be biased. My pants would catch on fire were I to sat your hopes are not relatable. Or contagious."

Rette nodded to Mar, taking a delicate sip from her teacup. Polished pinkie extended.

With a dislocated succession of faint 'pops' and 'cracks', Gha stood from it's seat. Though a pair of arms were discernible, it's legs slithered and dragged across the wooden floor as if they were one. Another round of ripples and needlish spikes traveled across the hazy suit. 

Gha: "I. Will. S-s-s-show you. Your desires. This is one of it's many. P-possibilities."

Frank tilted to the right. It's thorny body was fantastically bendy.

Behind the empty seat, a scene began to appear. It was prompted by Gha's waving hand. Like a weathered painting, patterns and shapes flourished. A sizable portion of a ship's cabin replaced the empty darkness. Windows revealed both ocean and land in the distance. But before such escapes was a bloodstained bed. The expansion of the image revealed two bodies.

One was a grown human male. He was of shaggy blonde hair and a dark, tanned complexion. He lay face down, bleeding into the bed from the wound on the side of his head. One of his arms was wrapped around the second body. A much smaller one. That of an infant girl who looked to be no older than several months. The child's wound mirrored that of her father's. 

Gha: "This could be him if his plan succeeds. And her. He did. Did not come alone. Or it. Could be us-s-s."

The scene continued to extend, revealing a gun on the floor. A dying lamp swung from the ceiling as turbulent waves began to come around. 

Gha: "The inevitable conclusion of all life. Death."

Gha paced enthusiastically behind it's spot on the board. Mar and Rette steadily watched. One had a teacup, the other a coconut. Where Mar swayed her head, Rette drummed her fingers. 

Gha: "Instead of them outliving us. We. Outlive them. Neither brings good tidings-s-s."

Margharette appeared on the scene, arriving to what would become her last day in paradise. Stricken with grief, she falls to her knees. The woman gasped for air, but her sobs went by silently. The picture was muted. One after the other, her cries went ignored. 

Gha: "There. F-f-fallen. Every good thing once felt. Destroyed. Crushed by loss."

In the recreation of her pain, Margharette began to reach for the loaded weapon on the floor.

Frank swayed left.

Another tendril of Shadows coiled around Mar's shoulders, this time extending to her neck and bare chest. One were now two.

Meanwhile, Margharette's attempts to place the gun against her head were thwarted by a violent quake. Her grip faltered. The heavy piece fell to the ground with a thud as loud as hers. Unlike the others, this sound boomed across the space of those watching. Tightly, Margharette clutched her chest, blue eyes rising to the bodies of her loved ones. She choked. She groaned. But then nothing. 

Gha: "And you couldn't even finish it yourself."

A few more twitches and Margharette's heart was finally done. Broken. Not enough strength to keep her going and away from death's door. Now, it became the key that unlocked it.

Mar: "I can be next in line."

Gha, who had been pacing a little more, froze on it's tracks. Though it's body was turned away from Mar, it's ghoulish head turned around. All the way around. The sound of bones breaking and colliding was as gruesome as that of unseen teeth gnawing and grinding.

Gha: "You. Just like. Me."

Rette took a last glance at the disappearing image, finding the clarity of it's details satisfactory. She then looked between Mar and Gha with a less severe expression, drinking quietly from her cup.

Mar's head swayed from side to side after giving Gha a confident nod. 

Mar: "Our fate is shared. That was something made extremely clear after this catastrophe. The wheel spun and showed us the direction. Now we have it. That was the deal. Two more opportunities, if possible, for the third has already been taken advantage of."

Gha: "Options. There are others."

Slowly, Frank the Cactus tilted to the right again.

Rette: "None that entice all senses like he does. Even YOU will surrender." Unwavering authority composed said words.

Gha: "You defend this because you are infatuated. And because it will not be YOU that endures... "

Gha began to move closer to the table, body rapidly and gracelessly turning to match the direction of it's head.

Gha: " ... t-t-this."

Rette's flowery cup rose, used as a means to signal her agreement towards the creature at her left.

Mar: "We have been in the warm shores of paradise. Many never even see it. And while that may not be the final destination of this voyage, the risk is still worth it. Patience will be worth it. This is not the same Margharette from then. This is now. And if in the future, darkness should encase me, I am comforted by the fact that it will be YOU that stands alone. Radiance in a room of monsters. Means there will still be a chance... And I do like chances."

Mar's shaven coconut rose, mimicking Rette's previous cheering motion with her contrasting fancy cup.

Gha silently stared at the seat across even without eyes. Frail hands settled over it's own seat, but soon, Gha joined the others seated at the table.

Frank veered left, it's spine flexible but unbreakable. 

Gha: "Useless. Your silence. Is not. Or is it... It is. Or... "

Rette: "Banter aside, this companionship has touched us all in one way or another. Most recently, I noted an irregularity during a session. These feelings of adoration... Of love -- they must be carefully woven into the cover story. Too many lies and the story is too weak to stand on it's own. Not enough, and we expose a weakness. One the enemy can and would exploit. Twice, because there are TWO people involved. The verbal foreplay routine when engaged in work will need to be reworked. Rephrased. Refreshed."

Mar: "This discussion has nothing to do with business."

Rette: "Everything can be business if you're gray enough."

Mar stared at Rette for a long and spiteful moment, but the feeling passed. Slid with ease. Like melted butter. 

Mar: "Which is why I am making this call. What needs to be done will be done. That is what I trust you to do if it comes to such blows. Let the winds die now so that we may reach a conclusion and gaze into our future."

Rette nodded, throwing a tiny cube into her refilled cup. Gha only continued to glare ahead.

Rette: "Preparations for many possibilities have already begun. The Crabby Cabin will also be going through extensive renovations. This place will be a fortress. One where both him and her can seek refuge from what comes, given that there will finally be room for more than one person. What truly worries me is the vessel he leaves behind. With any luck, and maybe some bribes, it will be kept busy."

Gha shuddered, it's stable but fluid form vivid and animated. 

Gha: "Miss-s-s. I will miss it. I. Yet. Do not know the satisfaction of making it..." The voice became even more distorted. Wisps of thick Shadows wrapped around it's head, moving in fast spinning circles. 

Gha: "... Submit. In full. Without him being bound. By ch-ch-chains."

Frank tilted to the right.

Mar: "Confusing creature."

Gha: "Remind yourself. No matter how the next fall comes. You. And I. Will look the same."

Mar fell silent, turning to glance at the empty coffee cups to her right. With acceptance, she nodded. 

Rette: "Then it is settled. The chance will be taken. This means that our grip on emotions, and by our I of course mean mine, will need to be better than flawless at all times. Especially when we consider what is happening deeper down the rabbit hole."

Behind Rette's ear, a Shadowy line curved and twisted. After snaking around the back of her neck, it disappeared beneath her golden garments. 

Mar: "Be it by Chance or otherwise, our fates are here. Present. Some of the tails found down this road lead to heartbreak. Others to happiness. To peace. Peace that is violently forged elsewhere. Here? It is made complete by his presence. Fun. Joy. Love. Care. Affection. All siblings. All part of the same thread."

Gha: "Even I feel this. This that you speak of. To not pursue and protect this treasure would be criminal."

The three beings looked between each other and nodded. Mar and Rette rose their drinks and indulged. Gha sat still. And the empty seat remained empty.  

Frank the Cactus moved again. Now it sat straight.

[keyofjetwolf]

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 39

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

On the one hand, when I started this act today, I thought I was still in the Infinity Arc, which was bound and determined to live up to its name. I was not! I am even closer to the conclusion of the manga than I realized!

On the other hand, I’m in the Pegasus arc.

Dear god help me, I’m in the Pegasus arc.

We open with the Inners, but don’t get excited, this will be the last time you’ll see them for the next hundred pages. They’re gathered together at a park to watch the eclipse. Where’s Usagi, you ask? At another park somewhere else with Mamoru and Chibi-Usa, because if they were there, we might feel for a second that Mamoru was not the center of the universe, and can’t possibly risk it. CAN’T MINGLE WITH THE HELP YOU KNOW.

That little girl I posted earlier wishes to become an actress, and Minako whirls around, Kill Bill sirens blaring. "My dream is to become an idol!” she says to her friends for what is almost certainly the tenth time that hour. However this prompts the others to say their dreams (PS: THIS IS THE DREAM ARC) and they are every bit as obvious and lacking in character development as you’ve come to expect.

“I want to be a bride!” Mako says as I cry inside. "And then maybe have a flower shop or cake shop, but mostly bride!”

“I wish to become an elegant doctor!” Ami does not care that I am crying harder. Not brilliant. Not genius. Not lifesaving. ELEGANT. AMI MIZUNO’S PREFERRED ADJECTIVE IS ELEGANT AND I AM ON PAGE TWO OF THIS ACT

As for Rei?

While you will pry International Success Life Rei Hino from me absolutely never because my grip will only become stronger in death, fair enough, but for fuck’s sake, AMI ALREADY SAID ELEGANT REI I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOUR EGO WOULDN’T DEMAND ANOTHER DESCRIPTOR.

Meanwhile, at No Senshi Allowed Park, Mamoru doubles over with chest pains. FINALLY SOMEONE HAD THE CORRECT DREAM. Unfortunately it passes quickly, just in time for the Dead Moon Circus to arrive on their fucking giant flying stingray shark pirate ship what the fuck??

THINGS ONLY GET MORE HORRIFYING

Of course if one thing is going to be consistent for me from the anime to the manga, it’d be how much the Dead Moon Circus creeps me the fuck out. OF COURSE THAT.

The Circus disappears then, and I’ll give the manga credit where it’s due here, it doesn’t have thirty fucking installments of no one seeing the bloody ten block giant floating circus tent.

Back to Peon Park, the Senshi also saw the circus arrive, and this apparently freaked Phobos and Deimos out so badly they had to to fly to Rei on her day off and bring her a newspaper and some feathers AND A FUCKING TAROT CARD ARE YOU KIDDING ME THESE GUYS NOT ONLY FOUND REI’S TAROT DECK BUT SORTED THROUGH THE CARDS TO FIND THE EXACT ONE TO BEST COMMUNICATE THEIR MEANING MEANWHILE I CAN’T GET MINA TO BRING ME THE GODDAMN BALL WHEN SHE WANTS ME TO THROW IT

Armed with this information, Rei, my beloved, light of my life, favourite character for over twenty years, concludes

Really, Rei. Really.

The Senshi rush to Usagi, though not one of them wonders why they bother, and that’s the real tragedy in this.

At the other, better park, for characters the author actually cares about, Mamoru thinks traffic will be bad getting home and suggests they wander around the shopping district instead. Hey look, there’s a sale on! This doesn’t seem strange at all!

Nobody thinks to mention the timing of this sale or arrival of an imminent circus alongside THE FLYING SHARK PIRATE CIRCUS SHIP, so maybe I was too quick with my credit-giving a minute ago. They wander around the stalls and shops, until something catches Usagi and Chibs’ eyes.

HMM I WONDER IF THESE WILL BECOME IMPORTANT

They convince Mamoru to buy them at $100 for the pair, which breaks down, in overall kaleidoscopic entertainment value, to about $100 a minute. As Usagi and Chibs rapidly burn through that minute, the Senshi show up, relieved to find everyone okay. “Should we join them?” Ami asks. “God no,” replies Minako, dragging everyone off to do jello shots for the rest of the issue.

God knows how many hours later, it’s 5pm and everything’s still just as packed as it was this morning, making Mamoru’s whole thing about having trouble getting home particularly dense because everyone’s fucking HERE and not on the road. But everything’s about to get a thousand times stupider.

Usagi says that it’s getting late and maybe Chibi-Usa shouldn’t go home until tomorrow. I was busy trying to puzzle out what that meant, like sleep-over in the park? No, no, she means home to the future, to which Mamoru says:

IT’S A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE FUTURE MAMORU THE DAY YOU’RE ON IN 1995 IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE 30TH FUCKING CENTURY WHAT SENSE DOES THIS EVEN MAKE

AND THEN CHIBS JUST MUDDIES IT EVEN FURTHER

HOW DOES

WHAT DOES THAT MATTER WHAT SENSE DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE THIS IS SO NONSENSICAL AND I’M LEGIT IRRITATED ABOUT IT

And then it’s Usagi’s turn to just make shit up as she goes.

SHE WON’T BE LATE IT’LL BE THE SAME FUCKING DAY BECAUSE IT’S A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE FUTURE AND THAT IS INDEPENDENT OF WHAT DAY IT IS IN THE PRESENT TIME IS NOT LINEAR FOR YOU PEOPLE AND YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR DAUGHTER FROM THE FUTURE

And I can’t even see why there’s all this bending over backwards trying to explain any of this away when plot coherency is something Takeuchi wrestles with on a daily basis about as much as she does character development.

SPEAKING OF

Cut to Mamoru’s apartment. Chibs is getting ready for bed.

Recognize the mirror?

JUST AS WELL BECAUSE THE MANGA COULDN’T CARE LESS IF YOU DO OR DON’T

FOUR TAGS WITH SQUIGGLY LABELS FOR MAMORU’S SHIT

THE PJS OF WHICH WILL BE MENTIONED IN-TEXT AT LEAST ONCE MORE IN THIS SCENE

FUCK ALL FOR MICHIRU

IT MANAGED TO BE EVEN WORSE THAN “MICHIRU WAS ALSO THERE” BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN KNOW MICHIRU IS ALSO THERE UNLESS YOU ALREADY KNOW IT

WE DIDN’T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE MORE DISMISSIVE OF MICHIRU BUT THE MANGA FOUND A WAY

Meanwhile Usagi is lying to Ikuko about sleeping over at Mako’s, and I’d like to think Usagi cleared that with Mako first, but that would’ve required thinking about her, and there’s just no way. The next three hundred pages are basically Mamoru and Chibi-Usa and I’d summarize what happened but I’ve punished myself enough today, and also NOTHING HAPPENED.

Over to the Dark Moon Circus, where we don’t begin with the Trio but with the Quartet.

Not that I expect anyone to have any personality. And just as well! Here’s a sample.

PALLAPALLA HATES BORING INTERCHANGEABLE DIALOGUE

Chibi-Usa has finally fallen sleep. I know what this means. I feel my mind, my soul, my very sense of self trying to shrink away, but to no avail. It comes.

AAAAHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

For relief, please join me in imagining for a moment a Sailor Moon SuperS revival featuring, as Pegasus, BoJack Horseman.

Pegasus and Chibs fly over Tokyo and then he gives her a little bell so she can summon him whenever she wants. In return?

CHIBI-USA TSUKINO I KNOW YOU READ A LOT DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS IN ENOUGH STORIES AND FAIRY TALES TO WANT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS IMMEDIATELY YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THAT YOUNG LADY THIS IS HANSEL AND GRETEL WITH WINGS

The next morning, Usagi and Mamoru wake up and realize they were both dreaming about Chibi-Usa and her new horse friend. Nothing about this alarms them anywhere near the correct degree in this humble Jet Wolf’s opinion. Mamoru has another partial heart attack but again does not die because I never get what I want. They realize Chibs left without them, and if I were Chibs, I’d do the same.

In the park (probably The Creator Loves Us And Only Us National Park), Chibs digs in her pockets for her Time Key, and I know Chibi-Usa is concerned about wanting to be an adult and all, but she has literally never been more hashtag relatable.

She pulls it out, but also pulls out the bell. GASP IT’S REAL. She thinks about Pegasus and how creepy he is and how she should never talk to him again and then she shatters the bell on the pavement. IF ONLY. She also thinks about her mother, specifically how she said “Leave and don’t come back until you’re pretty and useful.” YOU THINK I’M KIDDING I AM NOT KIDDING

Chibs’ first action as queen? ABOLISH MOTHER’S DAY

She wonders if she’s okay to go home yet, but when she uses the Time Key, it rejects the shit out of her, so guess not. Mamoru and Usagi run up and Pegasus appears again for no particular reason that I can figure out. Then there’s a tiger attack (NO REALLY) and everyone runs off, except for Mamoru, who once again is taunting me with his imminent death that never comes.

Usagi and Chibs try to transform, but can’t, because they don’t have all the Senshi around to power them up. “God, what a stupid requirement anyway, like I ever see those guys,” says Usagi, and so she just makes a new transformation happen because that is a thing she can do.

The Quartet are behind this attack, and Usagi and Chibs try to fight them, but are apparently powerless without a new toy from Bandai, so it’s marketing to the rescue! Chibs calls for Pegasus and begs him for a new weapon. He complies!

AND I FUCKING SCREAMED. While Usagi and Chibs power up on their own -- which I actually thought was a better turn from the anime for a second -- all it functionally did was change their outfits. They don’t even try to fight or attack, I presume because they know they can’t, so while they look neat, they’re powerless and helpless until they beg Pegasus for help. Until Pegasus arrives to give them power.

Power that came to them BY WAY OF MAMORU ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW

So one of my biggest sources of anger and frustration with SuperS? ACTUALLY IMPROVED ON THE MANGA.

Also the Moon Gorgeous Sex Toy is sentient and can talk so. Yeah.

Back at the Dead Moon Circus, Zircon is all “The people of the White Moon reincarnated, god I fucking hate that,” so the Quartet respond by turning their tiger, hawk, and fish into, you guessed it.

They also see Chibs and Usagi and wonder what their dreams are.

APPARENTLY THE ANSWER IS ONE OF THE WORST EPISODES OF THE WORST SEASON OF THE ANIME JESUS WEPT WHEN WILL I KNOW REST