#which... I don't Totally disagree with? I mean it makes sense that therapy can be a really cheaty way to resolve situations in fiction lol

[brown-little-robin]

.

[hawkinsgirlnextdoor]

Songs I Think Stranger Things Characters Would Listen To (The Party + Erica: Edition)

Note: For these lists, I tried to include songs that we haven't really seen in canon for the characters. We know that Max likes "Running Up That Hill", we know Mike likes "Small Town Boy", and we know Will likes "Boys Don't Cry". I love those songs and they are included in these playlists but I'm more interested in using music as a way to expand on and flesh out these characters.

I have also linked to Spotify playlists for each character. If you agree or disagree with any of my picks, please let me know!

Will Byers

Will has inherited a lot of his music taste from Jonathan but it's evolved in a way that's distinctly his own. Unlike his brother, Will's music tends to be more pop-focused. He likes new wave, post-punk, and moody songs that he can listen to while he paints. I think Will really pays attention to the lyrics of the music he listens to and it serves as a kind of therapy for him.

In Between Days by The Cure

Elegia by New Order

Mad World by Tears For Fears

Lost in the Supermarket by The Clash

It's A Sin by Pet Shop Boys

Major Tom (Coming Home) by Peter Schilling

Without You by David Bowie

This Charming Man by The Smiths

Mike Wheeler

Mike is always trying to appear slightly cooler than he is. He likes classic rock in a very Eric Forman way (if that makes any sense). By the time he joins Hellfire Club, he's trying to emulate Eddie's style and music taste because he just thinks Eddie's that cool. At his core, Mike enjoys sappy songs about love, life, and heartbreak because he's a dork who likes to jam out in his room.

Never Surrender by Corey Hart

Dream On by Aerosmith

Suburbia by Pet Shop Boys

Punishment For Love by Bronski Beat

Hold Me Now by Thompson Twins

Hells Bells by AC/DC

Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams

Eighteen by Alice Cooper

El "Jane" Hopper

El is just finding her own music taste. She’s only been shown music by her friends or Hopper so she picks and chooses what she likes. Mostly that’s a lot of pop music and ballads. She also watches a lot of MTV so her taste tends to skew pretty mainstream. When Max teaches her how to put together mixtapes her’s tend to be pretty upbeat or dramatic depending on her mood. While she’s contemplating her relationship with Mike she listens to a lot of gaudy break-up ballads. 

Hey Mickey by Toni Basil

She Bop by Cyndi Lauper

The Promise by When In Rome

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Talk Talk by Talk Talk

Could've Been by Tiffany

Destination Unkown by Missing Persons

Two of Hearts by Stacey Q

Max Mayfield

Max’s music taste is kind of hard to pinpoint. It’s really a grab bag of pop, rock, experimental, and softer punk. The only way I can describe it is like “spunky”. There are also moments when the music she listens to becomes more introspective and brooding. In “Runaway Max” she mentions liking The Go-Go’s and The Beach Boys. 

Dreaming by Blondie 

We Got The Beat by The Go-Go’s 

Kids In America by Kim Wilde 

The Girl U Want by DEVO

Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes 

Hounds of Love by Kate Bush 

California Dreamin by The Beach Boys 

White Wedding - Pt.1 by Billy Idol 

Dustin Henderson

Dustin is the nerdiest of nerdiest teenage boys (we wore a "Weird Al" t-shirt on his first day of high school I mean come on). He thinks that "Weird Al" is a genius for his use of parody and critique of pop culture (which, he's not wrong). He's always liked metal but it's only become more prominent for him since hanging out with Eddie so much. Being in Hellfire though has caused him to be more stealthy about his love for novelty records and one-hit wonders. He makes mixtapes full of love songs and saves up his money to send them to Suzie in Utah.

She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby 

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen 

The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats 

Weird Science by Oingo Boingo 

I’m Gonna Be by The Proclaimers 

As The World Falls Down by David Bowie 

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley 

I Lost On Jeopardy by “Weird Al” Yankovic

Lucas Sinclair

Lucas’ music taste is pretty diverse. He likes rock music but not as hard as Mike and Dustin’s taste. I imagine he’s picked up a lot of soul and r&b music from his parents, specifically his mom. In “Lucas On The Line” Lucas is introduced to Run-D.M.C. and really takes a shine to it so I imagine he’d be listening to some rap and hip hop. My qualifications for my picks were “would Lucas sing this infront of his bedroom mirror while using a hairbrush as a microphone?”. 

Another One Bites the Dust by Queen 

Walk This Way by Run-D.M.C. 

Dirty Diana by Micheal Jackson

Juke Box Hero by Foreigner 

Easy Lover by Philip Bailey & Phil Collins 

Everything She Wants by Wham!

You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine by Lou Rawls 

Never Too Much by Luther Vandross

Erica Sinclair

Erica is eleven so she tends to gravitate towards music that's popular or that she hears on the radio. Pop and R&B make up most of her cassette collection. The music she likes tends to be very upbeat and kick-ass (these songs are all bangers so she has amazing taste). Like Lucas, she also does dorky lipsyncing in her bedroom but unlike him, she's never been caught.

Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam 

I Feel For You by Chaka Khan 

What Have You Done For Me Lately by Janet Jackson 

Got to Be Real by Cheryl Lynn 

Let’s Hear It For the Boy by Denise Williams

Rhythm of The Night by DeBarge 

Cool It Now by New Edition 

Swept Away by Diana Ross 

[blorbocedes]

hi nicologist blorbie, i like nico but i find his media personality kinda... too polished? like george russell but with more personality. like he's doing a performance but maybe it's just his overly therapized self-awareness. ur thoughts?

hshdjdj hello anon... welcome to the pantheon of the same complaint nico has faced his whole life 😫😭 from 2013-2016, to all the way back in Williams he was called ranging from "doesn't have a sense of humour/too German" to "too stoic/wooden/PR focused" the George Russell before George Russell. let's break down your question

the 2016 media narrative was actually "Lewis Hamilton parties every week vs Nico Rosberg has given up all pleasures to life to eat oatmeal and train" and their press con pictures were Nico being 😶. couple that when he was put against the other German on the grid, the naturally charismatic and joking seb vet, nico absolutely came across as a stick up his ass.

now, obviously, as you have called me a nicologist I'm going to have a biased take. let's talk about media personalities -- everyone has them. even the most animated of blorbos, daniel playing up being funny, lewis with his peace and love, even fernando refusing to explain what el plan is everytime 😈 (this is a man who owns being a menace)

some people refuse to play into theirs as much, like max, and accordingly the media characterises him as blunt/straightforward/harsh. the media is nicer to you when you work with them, which is why Daniel is such a media darling and the face of DTS, despite not being a top 5 race contender.

nico has always been aware of how he's perceived. there's a will buxton article about it that's pretty fascinating. even before entering f1, he knew he'd be World Champion's Son and his media personality while he was a driver reflected that; diplomatic, uncontroversial, says the right and boring thing (and yes, even lying about it 🤭 my darling care has the receipts). my fav nico moments are when he'd break off it a bit — the iconic "if Lewis wants to change something then he can drive cleanly himself" agdjjd while jenson went O_O [obv media personality =/= how they actually are]

present day nico, as an f1 commentator, I'm very curious what your idea of polished media personality is. cause to me, that means someone who is milquetoast, wouldn't rock the boat, impersonal and says the 'right' thing. nico is the guy who said Ferrari's current strategy team is worse than an F2/F3 team live on air 😭 (as he should), the guy who asked lando point blank what the difference is between p3 and p4 (who didn't know 😭 bless his heart), who said yeah why should max go into a corner thinking lewis is gonna miss the apex

peak rosberg shit stirring hehe

I actually don't even agree with nico always, like for instance when he said merc should've prioritised lewis over george in dutch (?) gp. like don't make me defend george but he was right on his call for softs and prioritising His race, but that's whatever

not a huge fan of the term overly therapized~ cause a lot of Nico insults is "this man needs to go to therapy" and when they find out he HAS they're like "this man has had Too Much therapy" like 😭😭😭 he cannae win...... I do call him the most therapized man of all time, but that's gentle ribbing. when people say it anonymously w/o any way for me to extrapolate intent I'm a bit hm 🤥

cause like if he was saying things like emotional labour and 'speaking my truth' that claim would have more weight... but you know who Would say things like that? [redacted] 🔫

coming back to your question. every f1 driver is doing a performance with their public persona, some are better some are worse. Nico is no longer in f1 as a driver and doesn't need to be careful and measured anymore, and To Me is one of the few fun personalities in f1 as a commentator. you can totally disagree cause it's a matter of personal preference.

Post retirement Nico, having a YouTube channel for Years and playing into the memes (his ig comments are a nightmare of the same equal machinery joke) is perhaps more aware than most how people see him. he also doesn't need to care as much, he can laugh at himself -- at his own expense. he even posted what is essentially a taking L's compilation

if his polished persona is coming across as a cringe girldad who is way too excited about electric cars then by god he's the greatest male manipulator out there

obv if you find him too curated/inauthentic that's your prerogative, but I I would ask; have you actually watched the guy or are you going off public consciousness/someone else's interpretation. i wish he was as conniving and calculating now as people gave him credit for, unfort this is a dude who geeks out over finding a charging station in Italy.

love him, hate him, you can't deny he's fun

[stellocchia]

I feel like there's something to Wilbur mentioning that him and Phil don't see eye to eye with each other. Because him and Tommy don't do either or at the very least they absolutely didn't during Pogtopia but Tommy is Wilburs favourite person especially because he stuck with him despite that.

And i think it kind of speaks to how unhealthy Wilburs mind is right now because despite not seeing eye to eye I'm pretty sure Philza would still be there for him if Wilbur let him know he'd want that.

Like. Philza seemed extremely eager to accommodate Wilbur (nothing against cPhilza but it was actually kinda pathetic. Which is nice? Because while the difference between "they needed to be taught a lesson" angel of death Phil and this version of Phil is kinda jarring it gives me peace of mind that he wasnt all distant and high horse when in dad mode. Still, really fucking weird though)

If Wilbur would drop the "I'm back from hell and better than ever. I totally had a therapy arc in limbo and now am stable and can totally be left to myself to navigate the world around me." Act then Phil would probably definitelly make sure he's not alone and getting the care he needs

Only problem is that Wilbur only drops that act around Tommy and kinda accidentally Quackity because he got emotional.... I think...

Like. Tommy and him haven't seen eye to eye for a long long time but Tommy still hasn't left his side despite that because of the bond they have. Because they are family.

But the same would definitely be true with philza if Wilbur wasn't the one distancing himself from him.

And I guess one of the main differences is that Philza has some kind of authority over him due to being his father, or at the very least Wilbur not having authority over him despite Philza definitely being easier to manipulate than Tommy.

Like I don't even know what the conclusion to this whole thing is, just that it's probably vaguely daddy issues.

I think that Wilbur not seeing eye to eye with Tommy and him not seeing eye to eye with Phil is fundamentally different actually.

Let me explain:

From what we got with Phil the problem is based on ideology, Phil has "some ideas on authoritative governament" that Wilbur does not agree on and the big problem with that is that, as much as Wilbur appreciates physical strenght he doesn't have any. He's not even really great with battle planning, which we know because he always left that to Tommy. Wilbur need political power to stay in power. He needs the systematic power because vague manipulation only gets you so far. Also there the reason why he seemed so eager to join a new country: Wilbur is terrified of loneliness and a country would constitute a proper system of support that one single person (Tommy in this case) cannot provide. He has a clear desire for community... which kinda contrasts with Phil.

Now, you can build an anarchist community, no one here is saying otherwise, but they never did that. Even the closest this we have to it now, the Syndicate, isn't really a community. They don't support each other, they barely interact. I'm sure they would help one another if asked, but Wilbur is not someone who asks for help.

Basically Phil's ideology as it is is incompatible with Wilbur's.

With Tommy though it's different. Tommy isn't really into politics or complicated scheming and what he disagrees on with Wilbur is morality, but that's easy to ignore for Wilbur. If Tommy doesn't like something he's doing he'll tell him, but that doesn't mean that he'll leave. And there is also the fact that, fundamentally, Tommy and Wilbur want the same thing (at least one of them) and that's a sense of community, belonging and safety. They may not agree on methods or ideology but that's easier to overlook when the end goal seems so similar.

There is also the fact that Wilbur can't let go of Tommy because he's 100% dependent on him, but that's another thing.

Also Phil would most probably try to help Wilbur if he knew something was wrong but it's bold of you to assume he'd know how...

[transgenderer]

That was such a fast reply, it was basically like conversational. When you say fake bi, what do you mean? Also, did you start diary blogging before having any followers? Like, idk I’ve been thinking about whether I should start uploading my thoughts, I produce pages and pages of stream of conscious screeds in the message box of people I know but don’t send and then i just end up with them, but like my privacy sense makes that seem wrong. If feel like maybe some utility if there were people reading but if not, it’s like strictly worse, ya know. Like I’m exposing myself and I’m not even getting being known that out of it. Also, I don’t really get tumblr, like is there a way to reply/comment on something? Like I see posts that I disagree with but don’t know how to tell the person my disagreement. That feels unfair. Maybe I should go back to Twitter. (Technically I was on tumblr first but didn’t really use it and then started using Twitter semi regularly).

Well, by fake bi I mean im attracted to a much smaller subset of woman than men, and I've never like, even kissed a woman, and I've never like...well I mean this is maybe not appropriate for this blog but I've never jacked off to like. Porn of women or thinking abt women. So yknow. Pretty fake. But I do yknow. Feel things sometimes. Hard to understand ephemeral things.

I think i had...a couple hundred followers when I started diary blogging? Maybe more. I don't remember the time line that clearly. So yeah I guess I only started diary blogging when I had followers. I don't think you really need that many followers to get something out of it tho, mostly you just need a couple of mutuals? It's nice to idk, get occasional commentary on your diary entries from people you sort of know. But idk. I just like having my words out, I feel like they build up in my brain. Diarying in a private text file works too tho. I also have a separate diary type thing for notes for reference for therapy sessions.

Oh and yeah you can totally reply/comment! If you want your followers to see it you can reblog (the little arrows making a square) or reply (the text box) if you just want it to be attached to the post and not show up on your blog. Obv different strokes but I think tumblr is a lot better than Twitter for more detailed or nuanced or elaborate thoughts, which I like a lot. Basically equal as shit posting platforms tho

[asherisimmortal-archive]

wandavision weekly ask, featuring some complaining and off-topic ranting.

firstly, while joss whedon is unfortunately a scumbag, his characterization of ultron and vision was very distinctive and helps analyze vision's short scene this episode. instead of making ultron this unfeeling, removed robot that fulfills his goal of "peace in our time" as soon as possible, he's actually the most human character. he talks about the "poetry" of destroying humanity with a meteor the same way the dinos got destroyed. he could have just yeeted everyone using his connection to the internet. but no. he grew, changing bodies, evolving from one vessel to another, becoming more and more human. his final vessel was supposed to be vision; it's no mistake that his body is so humanlike. (scarlet witch could only read ultron's mind from vision's body because his consciousness was finally entering a humanlike brain. remember she kills Ultron by pulling out his heart, unnecessary for a robot except to emulate the human body.) ultron, despite trying to be above humans, constantly strived to become one. vision is similar. he begins his existence with philosophical musing. trying to find his identity. trying to become more and more human. the magic happened in those 2 years between civil war and infinity war. wanda needed a shoulder to cry on; vision needed someone to be open with, to copy, to fake humanity until he "made it", to learn to love. by infinity war, paul bettany says he's the "most human" out of the avengers. he's not wrong. so when i saw vision in the civil war-era flashback of this episode, i thought of all that, of him trying to understand humans in order to be human, of "what is grief if not love persevering" 😭😭😭😭😭 his logic is impeccable. the quote kinda makes no sense out of context but once i heard him say it iwaslike bruh you're right. a common criticism of robots in sci-fi is that they're often just characterized as "ace ppl on the spectrum" which is. fair. and i kinda felt that in this episode. but i felt like it worked here? (asher as an nd ace person whaddya think of this?)

marvel has a reeeally wide audience. they have to cater to the lowest common denominator and go totally unsubtle with like, everything. that seems more present in the show's "mcu-wide" episodes than in the "sitcom-era" episodes. this ep i think the writers should have just let wanda's memories speak for themselves, but instead agatha just gives tons of sometimes informative but mostly unnecessary commentary. hayward too: his entire character is so on-the-nose. we're told every second what we're supposed to think of him ("hayward's a d--"), what he's planning ("he wants to make vision's body into a weapon"), and how he thinks of vision ("3 billion dollars of vibranium") with no subtlety whatsoever. i wasn't expecting much different but still. :(

speaking of hayward. he wanted vision online so bad. unlike her, he knew she had the power to bring him back ("you have the power to bring him 'online'" — how did he know? secretly mephisto?) then staged a disgusting desecration of his corpse to provoke her, told the soldiers to stand down so she could revive him, and when she couldn't, instead making a hex to regen him, he lied, said she had his corpse denying vision's last testament, and tried to take his new body outside the hex. unfortunately he realized when vision tried escaping that he couldn't make it out — he's part of the hex but only he knows that — so he made white vision to replace him and take out wanda (the only possible whistleblower). in conclusion, hayward can go screw a cactus (yes i read that phrase in the comments of a fanfic and i wont stop using it to describe ppl i hate)

i get super upset when people talk in english when their first language isn't english for like,,,no reason. so when the maximoffs spoke in english specifically to practice their english i found that refreshing.

agatha backstory why. and what. i suspect she's a scarlet witch too. i think the reason her magic starts out as purple is because she pushes back her coven's blue magic with her red magic. watch the clip again and you can see how she glows red, not purple, right before she pushes back against the witches. red scarlet witch magic + blue coven witch magic = purple agatha magic.

thanks erik voss from new rockstars for pointing this out: coven mother in the beginning of the episode gets a glowing blue crown right before she gets yeeted. the figure wanda sees in the golden glow of the mind stone is a silouhette of herself with the crown. erik says this is the crown of the dominant witch. but whatever the case it think the crown of agatha's "mother" is a hint to the origin of scarlet witch's comic book headdress.

i don't like what theyre doing with agatha's hair. something about it doesn't vibe with me.

im getting more and more convinced that the "mystery actor" paul bettany keeps talking about was himself. white vision vs westview vision battle royale.

speaking of him, paul needs to go to therapy. his constant self-deprecation in interviews started out charming but after a while it gives me the vibe of someone who has no self-esteem and therefore constantly downplays himself and his own accomplishments. (me projecting? what makes you think that? /s) but yeah. parasocial relationship with paul bettany go brrrrr

we need answers about fietro

and finally (before i remember the million things i forgot to say) the latin. sucks ass. like i know like 2 words in latin but the spells were probably written by someone's dummy thicc ass cheeks on a keyboard and setting the autocorrect to latin. the spell agatha does before going into wanda's memory-door is "memente memoria" which means "remember memory" like seriously marvel you could have spent 2 more brain cells on writing spells

1. I completely agree with you and I hate how I learn news on Tumblr (Why are the only celebrities that turn out to be assholes the ones that I slightly care about).

2. Marvel definitely needed to be at least a tad more subtle. I know that this is one of the last episodes of what has been the most confusing thing they have ever made but Agatha’s commentary was a bit too much.

3. Agreed this account is a Hayward hate zone.

4. I 100% agree with you, I always found Black Panther really weird because they were speaking in English even when Martin Freeman’s character wasn’t around (and I know why that was but I still hate it) so I’m glad that this episode actually made sense.

5. At this point I don’t have a clue what’s going on with Agatha and honestly at this point I think I’m just gonna hope they clear that up in the next episode.

6. That’s interesting. That’s another thing that I’m not smart enough to have a clue what the heck is happening, but that’s still really cool.

7. I have to disagree with you I think her hair is great.

8. If it’s literally just Paul Bettany that’s gonna be really anticlimactic and I’m going to be very upset (I want Magneto damn it).

9. I didn’t watch a lot of interviews for WandaVision for some reason so I’m just gonna take your word for it and agree with you.

10. I’m assuming we’re getting them in the next episode (I saw a theory that he might be Loki in disguise and that’s looking pretty much impossible but fuck it I’m gonna get my hopes up anyway)

11. I don’t know shit about Latin so this is another one where I’m gonna have to take your word for it.

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.