#which yeah people drive badly everywhere but honestly. and we also have horses here and they're the most reasonable

[servuscallidus]

I drive like shit I hate this

[randomisemily]

I wanna rant about getting my driver’s license, but some people might need to know some stuff beforehand, so here you go:

- In Belgium, you have to take a written test on basic knowledge of traffic (rules & signs), passing that test allows you to request for a permit 

- There are two different permits: 1) 36 months: allows you to drive, but not by yourself. 2) 18 months: allows you to drive by yourself. Though, in both cases, you have to take lessons beforehand. 

-You can get your license at the age of 18 

- the driver’s test includes a “risk perception” test (you have to watch a few videos and determine who’s on the road and who’s a risk etc) + also, of course, a test on the road, including a few parking skills

- Additonally, I’d like to mention that the laws concerning learning how to drive and permits etc have changed A LOT the last few years, so if sometimes my rant is confusing, IT IS FOR ME AS WELL

- Every 2 times you fail an exam, you have to take 6 hours of lessons before you are allowed to take the exam again. 

ALRIGHT LETS GET STARTED

So when I was 18, I personally felt like I wasn’t ready to get my license yet. I wasn’t all that interested anyway and because I had friends who could drive, an older brother,... I was happy not driving. It didn’t bother me that much, and when Iook back at that time, I might even add that I might’ve been scared to drive. 

I felt like my life wasn’t too difficult without a license, though I lived in a rural area, I had easy access to busses and, mostly, trains. I also pretty much biked everywhere, and I didn’t mind that much.  

When I was 19, I started dating my fiancé, who had a license and took me everywhere. Some might think he was enabling, but in our case, I think he was just happy to do it. He was patient with me and when I was almost 21, I took the written test and passed. 

See, after that, I’m fuzzy on the details because I’m 28 now. So time has PASSED. But at that time I did decide to get a 36 month license. The reason was mostly financial: for a 18 month license, you have to take more lessons, and the lessons are expensive. (to drive alone, you have to take 20 hours of lessons, which as roughly 1500 euros). BUT for the 36 month permit, it’s only required to take 6 hours, which is rougly 500 euros. Considering the fact I had to pay that myself, I felt like I couldn’t afford the extra 1000 euros. I think, the other reason was that I was scared to drive by myself - maybe even scared to drive at all.

The permit I chose, requires you to get a mentor. Usually, it’s a family member, in my case, it was my dad. I thought it would be a good choice because my dad knows how to drive a truck and has tons of experience. He’s also calm and I thought he’d be good at giving instructions. 

That worked out a little different. It seemed like my dad was, like myself, a little scared to teach me. So here we were: two people who weren’t going to encourage each other to drive. The addition problem was that my dad’s working a lot, so a lot of times I was tired or he was. Yeah, it’s an excuse, and we knew it. 

One time, when were finally practicing, we were on a private road nearby. We were just starting & stopping, you know, the basics. There was a guy walking his Jack Russell, but without a leash. We weren’t going fast at all, but all of the sudden, the dog ran in front of my car. The dog ran off, over a big field, as fast as it could, and eventually, it ran home. We were shocked, scared and felt bad for the dog. The dog wasn’t injured that badly, but it so happened that we also had a similar dog at the time, so we truly felt for the little scared dog. I am, ‘till this day, though, a little angry with the owner because you don’t let your dog off your leash, that’s just my opinion. 

ANYHOW, after practicing a few months or something, we decided I was ready. I felt ready but both my dad and I were NERVOUS AS SHIT. The examirer was 15 minutes late, which only made it worse. My exam was a nightmare, after 5 minutes on the road, I had to go back. Out of nervousness, I didn’t see an old lady crossing the road. It was a disaster and the memory is still vivid. 

A second attempt came around the corner, and this time, I really thought I was ready. It was closer to the time the permit was going to expire, so I really hoped it would work out this time. Failed. This time, I didn’t use my breaks properly. Apparently, my dad had been teaching me wrong and I didn’t remember from the lessons I took. 

I can’t remember anymore why I failed the third time, but I did. And this time, my permit really was about to expire. After failing this time, I had no choice but to let it expire. 

This SUCKED because, as you might do the math, I was already 25 by then. And by the time I was 25, I did in fact, really need a car and a license. I had just graduated college and I needed a job. Schools in general are usually easily accessible by train, so was mine. Jobs, however, are not. For my internship in my last year of college, for example, I had to bike to the train station, take a train, tranfer to another train, take a bus and then bike again. The internship was great, getting there, however, was a nightmare. 

It also sucked because at the time, there was a rule in place, that dictated that if your permit expires, you can’t request a new one. There was a “waiting period” of 3 years. Yes, three YEARS. There are some exceptions because I can still, possibly, get your license during that time if you re-take your written test and take your driving exam with a professional driving school (the one you use to take lessons). This is, in fact, what I tried to do. The tricky part is that, when you’re not on the road during your “normal” life (work, groceries,...) it’s harder to get back on the horse. It was for me, anyway. I tried to the the exam that way twice. I failed twice. After the second time, I still had a year left in that “waiting period”, so I figured I wouldn’t try anymore and just wait it out. During those three years, I got a job nearby where I could bike to. It was alright. 

After the three years, and 5 exams later, I was fed up and I wanted to pass more than ever. But I knew I needed to do better this time. I took the 20 hours (yes, the lessons kept pilling up and so were the bills) so that I could drive alone and get the 18 month permit. By that time, I was also working full time and had moved out and moved in with my fiancé. So I was READY to be an adult and driving alone also meant that freedom I desperately wanted. 

My reasoning was also the fact that I felt like I didn’t have enough real life experience driving a car before. I didn’t need to do groceries, I was still living at home at the time and, as I mentioned, was always practicing with my dad. This time, not only did I want to drive alone, I needed to. 

A few months before the 18 months ended, I wanted to take the test again. Six times a charm, I thought. This time, my “mentor” wasn’t my dad anymore, it was my fiancé. Mind you, my fiance, lovely as he is, is neurotic and full of anxiety (bless his heart). Yet again, I was confronted by my nerves, and his. And failed the test because of my parking skills (or lack of). Actually, I was too nervous and had a minor anxiety attack while parking. 

The next time, I tried to get back on the horse almost right away and tried to take an exam with, not my boyfriend, but a professional driving instructor (€€€€€€). The seventh time almost worked out. I ALMOST passed, until the last few minutes I made a mistake at a crossroads. I mean, fuck. 

For the eight time, I realized I needed to do the same so I scheduled the exam for March this year. Then, of course, a pandemic came knocking on the door. The exam was cancelled and I felt major relief - though, I did need to pass and I knew it. 

After everything re-opened in May, I sort of procrastinated making an appointment again. I just, I couldn’t. I knew I had to, but I had failed this test 7 times. A driving test. Thinking about it, I mean, I have a bachelors degree. I had good job. I’m engaged. But I didn’t have a driver’s license. And no, I’m not a New Yorker. 

But luckily, when I procastinate, my body doesn’t agree and protests. I was watching a Modern Family episode one night where Haley struggled to get her license and I felt her pain so much. My heart was racing. I got nervous and flustered. And this continued. I was watching anyone driving on tv and I continued having tiny panic attacks. Talk about triggers: people driving. 

Anyway, I finally managed to call to make the apointment (took a lot of energy). I, again, made an appointment with a professional instructor. Though it was more expensive, it was the best approach. My car is old and driving my car to the exam would also mean I’d have to deal with my nervous (and not helping at all) fiancé. I knew I needed a steady and experienced person by my side. 

Yesterday, I took the test and I passed. Eight years and eight tries. 

I thought I would be ecstatic, but I wasn’t. I mean, I was. But honestly, It’s all been hitting me. Slowly. 

I’ve had this extreme fear. Extreme shame. Extreme anxiety for years. Because of that, it’s like, I have to process everything. I mean, everything. For example, I can now drive to my job, no strings attached. I can find a better job, that’s not as nearby. We bought a house to a rural area so it’s hard NOT to drive a car. I used to fear I’d feel locked up in the house as long as I didn’t have my license. Now, I have to process that this won’t be the case anymore and I can experience that freedom. There have been so many small things that I had to adjust to. Also, the shame I experienced. It’s just GONE now. Just simply, GONE. 

But in any case, I’m also super stoked. And the reason I ranted was

1) to express myself and get it off my chest but also

2) if anyone experiences the same thing (or a similar thing) to assure that it happened to me too.  

And for anyone who doesn’t want to ride with me - I totally understand but I took so many classes I consider it an asset. Not only do I know the laws of driving SUPER WELL, I am NEVER going to jeopardize it by driving badly. Because I ain’t planning on losing what I’ve got! 

thank you for reading or scrolling 

[sage-nebula]

Ohhhhh boy. So I’ve seen all of the memories now (save for the ones associated with the Divine Beast of the Gorons), and let me tell you, I am having emotions. I’m going to go ahead and place this under an actual cut in addition to all of the spoiler tags, because I anticipate that it’s going to be rather long, and it’s also going to be extremely spoiler heavy due to the fact that I’m going to use this post to talk about Zelda (and her relationship with Link) overall.

So, I am going to say this to get it out of the way: I think that it might have been better to view each of the memories in order, to see Zelda’s relationship with Link play out in a natural progression. I didn’t do this; because the nearest memory to Kakariko is the memory where Calamity Ganon returns (photo #11), I started off near the end and then just kind of hopped around depending on where I was at the time. Because of this, I think that I saw Zelda’s relationship with Link not progress as much as I saw it remain really bad for most of the game, until I finally started to patch in some of the memories that showed them actually interacting on close / friendly terms, and becoming friends.

Regardless, though, even though I saw the memories out of order, I don’t think it’s negatively impacted my perception of Zelda’s character / their relationship too much (and these things are intertwined, because even though Zelda is a well fleshed out character, Link isn’t, and so his characterization is dependent largely on his relationship with Zelda---a nice inversion from how these things typically go). In fact, quite honestly, I don’t feel as if my perception of Zelda’s character / their relationship is negative at all, mostly because there are some memories sprinkled in there that show them on friendlier terms, that show that they’ve grown closer, that they care about one another. I will admit; when I was triggering memory after memory of Zelda resenting Link and pushing him away, I was pretty firmly on the “nah, I don’t ship this at all” boat. But now that I’ve seen that there were times when they were on better terms . . . yeah, I ship it, and I actually think that this might be my favorite rendition of their relationship yet, topping both Wind Waker and Skyward Sword.

The thing that I like about the Link and Zelda of this game is that their relationship has a lot of development. Wind Waker’s relationship had some development as well, given that Link and Tetra didn’t start off on the best of terms (the opposite, really), and they had to come to trust and care for each other over the course of the game (even though we didn’t get to see them developing this trust; rather, we just saw that they had it at various checkpoints throughout the game when we got to see them interact again). Skyward Sword’s relationship didn’t have a lot of development since they were childhood sweethearts and cared for each other from the start (and then barely interacted throughout the game because Zelda was always gone), though there was a bit of conflict on Zelda’s end when she realized who she truly was and that she had potentially, even if inadvertently, manipulated Link into caring for her (though the line, “I’m still your Zelda” gets me in the heart every time). But even with that spice of added conflict, and even though Link and Tetra didn’t get on very well at first, the relationships were still pretty simplistic at their core. That’s not necessarily a bad thing---they were still enjoyable---but I feel that there wasn’t a lot of depth to them, all the same.

I feel differently about Link and Zelda in Breath of the Wild. To be fair, there is still so much that is missing; Nintendo could only give us a handful of flashbacks, which means that there were so many days (/weeks / months) that they simply couldn’t show us. To get around this, they showed us snapshots from different points in their relationship, and gave us enough in characterization (again, mostly from Zelda’s end) to allow us to fill in the blanks. We do get a little bit of characterization from Link; we learn that he’s following in his father’s footsteps when it comes to being a knight. We learn that he’s pretty sure about this path (or at least, that Zelda feels that Link is pretty sure about this path). We learn that he cares for animals (horses in particular), and that he’s the one to advise Zelda on how to bond with hers. But for the most part we get characterization from Zelda, and how she reacts to his presence and the situation in general tells us a lot about their relationship. It allows us to fill in the blanks, particularly given whatever personality we’ve decided on for Link as we play through the game. (My Link is still a lot more . . . well. The audio from this video sums up what I imagine Link’s personality / experiences to be as I play through this game. Seriously, that’s my Link right there. Note that there is a photosensitivity warning at 0:21 in that video, so if you’re actually watching, be wary of that!) And considering the fact that there’s no possible way they could have shown us everything without having the game focus on the part of history that led to Hyrule’s downfall instead (and have the game end on a Downer Ending as a result), I think that was the right choice to make. By showing us a selection of moments from different points in their relationship, we can see the nuances that they had---we can see how they grew as individuals, and how they came together as a pair. We can see how their relationship developed naturally over time, which makes it feel more realized than previous incarnations of Link and Zelda.

And what’s interesting about this to me is that they didn’t have to do it. Particularly since Link was Zelda’s personal knight in this game, they could have easily gone the “well, they get along great, he’s the knight and she’s the princess, of course they’re a perfectly matched pair” route. No one would have batted an eye, because at this point that’s kind of expected. But they opted not to do that. Instead, we know that Link has been training to be a knight for his entire life, and we know that he ends up appointed as Zelda’s personal knight. But because Zelda has so much characterization to her, she doesn’t simply accept this. It’s not that she hates the idea, per se, but it’s that she has a will and mind of her own and doesn’t always want a personal guard following her around. It’s that she sees that Link’s destiny has accepted him, and she resents him for that, because hers is still evading her at every turn. It’s that she feels insecure about her place in the world, it’s that she wants something different than what she’s supposed to have, but she can’t even content herself with what she’s supposed to have because no matter how hard she works at it, she can’t unlock that power, and yet everything comes so naturally for the knight that has to follow her everywhere. We see her resent him, we see her grow frustrated and irate with him, we see her insecurities brought to light because of him, we see him comfort her at her lowest moments, we see that he has given her advice and that she’s a bit playful with it, we see her happily spending time with him before her father comes to ruin everything (seriously, he was just as much of a dick in life as he was in death, and no one is surprised). 

I’m not being very eloquent about this because it’s nearly 5 AM and I’m very tired, but what I’m driving at here is that by showing us scenes such as Zelda trying to drive Link away, but also scenes where she’s trying to get him to eat a live frog---by showing us scenes where she’s officially knighting him with the same attitude she would use to read his eulogy, but also scenes where they’re peacefully riding their horses and she’s cheekily talking about making her horse earn the royal adornments---we get to see that Link and Zelda’s relationship was not always easy. She resented him, but no doubt there was a time when Link himself resented the fact that he was the appointed knight for a princess that seemed to hate his guts and wanted nothing to do with him. I mean, it’s not fun to follow someone around who clearly does not want you there, especially if you want to respect the boundaries she’s trying to set but can’t because the king could literally have you executed for disobeying. And it can’t be easy to listen to Zelda cry and be upset over the fact that her powers won’t awaken when there’s nothing you can say to ease those insecurities or that pain, because you can’t make the powers awaken and saying “it’ll be okay” sounds hollow when the fate of the entire kingdom literally rests on whether or not she can do it. As much as Zelda resented and didn’t want to be around Link at times, I’m positive that he often felt the same way about her, but did so because he had to, because it was his job (and we see how seriously he took his job in his body language---how he stood at attention at the door with his back turned to her as she prayed in the Spring of Power (and only turned toward her when she started to cry), how he immediately dropped to his knees when the King entered in the palace memory, et cetera). But although their relationship was not always easy, although they were not always on the best of terms, they did get there. Slowly but surely, they got there, even though I’m sure they still had their bad days here and there. And I think that this adds a few layers of complexity and realism to their relationship---it makes them feel more like two people rather than just two characters and it’s a very welcome take on their relationship.

But of course, all things come to an end. Aside from the scene from the trailers where Zelda falls to pieces because everything has gone to Hell and she blames herself for it (and I wish so badly that they had hired a better English voice actress for Zelda, because although I could tell that this one was trying very, very hard, she just could not cut it), the memory you get after unlocking all the rest---the one where Zelda’s power finally awakens, when the Triforce finally flares to life on the back of her hand---really got to me, emotionally, for a number of reasons:

It was the Guardians. It was the fucking Guardians. Of course it was the motherfucking Guardians that killed Link. I swear to god these Guardians are basically like the Hyrulean equivalent of the Daleks, except they don’t shout “EX-TER-MIN-ATE!” before they try to kill him. (They also can’t have Sass Offs the way Daleks can, which is a shame, because sassy Daleks are amazing.) It really adds an entirely new layer of terror to the Guardians, I feel, given how many of them there are in that scene, how badly Link is wounded, all of the lightning and the rain, and the fact that one was staring him down right before Zelda shoved him out of the way and her power awakened. My Link has already encountered Guardians plenty of times by the time he remembers this (and has killed a couple of them as well), but I feel like recovering his memory of being murdered by them---or at least, very nearly murdered by them---has to instill a new wave of fear inside him, or at least explain the gut instinct of “no no no no no bad bad bad run run run” that he had upon first spotting one. Like, imagine that he probably had a panic attack when he first saw one---even a dormant one---and didn’t understand why. Now he knows. Now he remembers. Now he understands. This doesn’t make it any easier.

We really see the Spirit of the Hero flare inside Link in this scene. Link is basically dead on his feet. He can barely stand. Zelda is telling him to run because she can tell that he’s about to die. But does he run? No. Of course he fucking doesn’t. Link pushes himself to his feet through sheer will and determination because the Spirit of the Hero is an indomitable will. He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t quit. He won’t until the last gasp of air leaves his lungs and his heart gives out on him. That’s what being the Hero is all about, and we see that in Link as he continues to face down the Guardians, fighting to his last breath, refusing to let them kill Zelda. Link doesn’t give up. The concept of giving up just isn’t in him. If it was, he wouldn’t be the Hero. He wouldn’t have been reborn with that Spirit inside him. Being the Hero isn’t about wielding the Master Sword or opening shrines, not really. It’s about having that unbreakable, unwavering Determination. Link has it, and this flashback---this one in specific---showed it, and I love it.

We also came to see how much Zelda has come to cherish Link in this scene. I do think that part of her desperation for him to run and not die is due in part to the fact that the other Champions have died, her father has died, Hyrule has all but fallen and Link is all she has left. I do think that there is a part of Zelda that just didn’t want to lose him too, on top of losing everyone else. But I think that there’s also a part of her that just didn’t want to lose him period. Again, we’ve seen flashbacks where they’re friends, where they’ve come to care for each other. I don’t think they were actually romantically involved (though I do ship them---more on this at the end of the post if I remember it), and I’m not even saying that her feelings for him were romantic in nature at all. But just because she’s not in love with him doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about him, and I think it’s more than obvious that she does. She shoves him out of the way and nearly takes the hit herself because she doesn’t want him to die. She rushes to his side and cradles him in her arms because she doesn’t want to lose him. And as much as part of this might be because she just doesn’t want to lose the one person she has left, I do think she genuinely cared about him for him and didn’t want to lose him, and that hit me pretty hard, emotionally (especially considering some of the earlier memories where she just . . . really wanted him to go away and leave her alone).

And then, honestly, the most important part of this whole scene: FI. FI. FI. FI!!!!!!!! Like, we don’t actually get to see her or hear her speak, but the Master Sword flashes multiple times, Zelda hears a voice we don’t, and most importantly, what we do here? That chime. That chime when the Sword flashed---that was Fi’s chime, that was Fi trying to communicate with Zelda to tell her how to save Link’s life, I’m fucking sobbing all over the place, crying my heart out, because I love Fi so much and that’s not just an ambiguous nod toward her, that’s showing that she is damn well conscious within the Master Sword even if she can’t actually manifest. I’m not getting my hopes up that she will actually make a concrete appearance, I know she probably won’t, but I would actually probably cry for real if she did (rather than just having my heart weep while I claim to be crying). My entire fucking heart weeps for Fi and she actually got to be the one to help Zelda pull it together long enough to tell her Sheikan attendants to take Link to the Shrine of Resurrection. Asdfsagdsa;fda Fiiiiiii ;___; ♥

At this point I’ve been told that it’s now time for me to go defeat Ganon, but it’s actually not because I haven’t awoken the final Divine Beast yet (oops). Oh well, it’ll be time for Ganon soon. In the meanwhile, I do have to say this:

After viewing all the memories, as I said above, I have come to ship the Link and Zelda of this game---but that said, I don’t think they were romantically involved prior to Link’s near-death and induction in the Shrine of Resurrection, and I’m not even entirely sure that their feelings for each other were romantic (or rather . . . I think they were, but that neither of them had really realized it because they had way too much else going on). I think it’s a bit more complicated than that, that they cared for each other incredibly deeply, that they had a very strong bond forged not only of the days they spent together that were calmer, but because of everything they had fought through together in their (failed) efforts to stop Calamity Ganon. (And you could say that the fact that Zelda has a telepathic connection with Link says a lot, but it actually doesn’t, because the scion of the goddess very often has a telepathic connection with the Hero. We see this in both Ocarina of Time and A Link to the Past, for example. I think that comes more with how they’re joined together in the Cycles than their relationship as individuals, especially since they had never previously met in LttP and barely knew each other in OoT when those connections took place.) So they weren’t romantically involved, they didn’t realize they had feelings for each other, but they did realize that they cared for one another deeply. Depending on how the game ends, I think there’s a real possibility they could end up realizing their feelings, thus deciding to be together as a result. I still think it would take time for them to become reacquainted with one another again, to calm down from everything that happened, to strengthen their relationship and just spend time together, but I think that it definitely could happen and that they have a multi-layered foundation to build a relationship on. Again, their relationship has nuance, and we actually saw it develop naturally rather than just having it slot into designated relationship points. I think it’s incredibly appealing as a result.

(And note: I still really like Link/Tetra and SS!Link/Zelda, and I’m definitely not saying that relationships need a certain amount of contention and drama to be interesting. Far from it. I’m just saying that I feel as if both Link/Tetra and SS!Link/Zelda were a bit under-developed, and that BotW!Link/Zelda is an improvement on this. The issue with SS!Link/Zelda is not that they were childhood sweethearts; the issue is more that we were told that they were childhood sweethearts, and that we didn’t get to see very much of the two of them interacting before the plot kicked in full force. With BotW, we see different stages of their relationship, different moments that flesh them out and define them as characters and make them feel more real. It’s these nuances which make it better to me, more than the fact that there was a time when they didn’t really get along very well. Tl;dr: It’s not the conflict I’m looking for, it’s the development / depth, and I think that BotW!Link/Zelda has the best development out of any iteration of these characters so far. They actually showed us the slow burn for once, and as a lover of slow burns, I love this more than I can eloquently say at 5:30 AM when I am this tired.)