#which yea I guess that mirrors the way the characters are feeling quite well but fuuuuuuck

[samuraisharkie]

just finished watching Uncle Vanya for the first time. I think Doctor Astrov and the Professor should kill themselves

[aresmarked]

Ah maybe [1] day. Being perceived is scary 😔 but aside from that, I do think Mafuyu will send her well wishes at least. Though I saw some people saying things that were quite curious. I believe there are people who think that Mafuyu hasn’t been to school since that day but I don’t think that’s true? Especially because I’m sure that would draw unwanted attention to herself and family since people will be wondering what her parents are doing about it. Though thinking about her attending classes with her good girl persona is sad in its own way. I wonder if the general student body (anyone not in the main cast) would shun her if she chooses to be her true self. After all, it’s this image of Mafuyu that they all like. It could parallel Honami’s past when she was alienated. Forgot to ask this but after reading the card stories, what do you think Shizuku’s Sekai, if her feelings were strong enough to make one like Mafuyu, would be like?

Hrhrhr, fair. But the door is open should you like it.

It's hard to say given all niigo's map talks after the event were in sekai! we don't have a confirmation one way or another, but she's definitely in a position where... there's a risk if she goes, though her mom's plan does seem to be to wait for her to 'come to her senses', and there's a non-zero chance we see some legal stuff enter psekai story?? but yea. i imagine she'll have to ease herself off the habit of leaning on her 'sona at school, which will definitely be, an adjustment for folk. i can see rumours happening. but simultaneously she is a well-meaning kid behind that sona, she does care about people. and i can't see airi and shizuku standing by if people are gonna be assholes about it. lord knows they're all too familiar with how talk can hurt.

i imagine that while she'll be more mindful of taking on too many things just 'cause it's what a 'good kid would do', there is still sincerity to her looking out for folk. it's just a question of where the boundary will be drawn now.

MMJ's Sekai was a shared one, unlike Tsukasa and Maf's, but let's say for interest's sake we're talking the fragments from Fes cards, since those try to reflect on a fundamental part of the characters as they get them. I imagine Shizuku's will be something, less like the ones where it's, recalling? something key to them, but more akin to Kohane's, Mizuki's, Honami's... the ones where the owner states, in some way or another, this is me, where they decide something and it's something they can do because of who they are now. Honestly it's hard to say what Shizuku's might be but given her work as a model... a walkway would be really cool. absolutely something that plays with perception. i would've guessed mirror house if Kohane hadn't already gotten it, albeit in an odd manner. They're doing neat shit with the fragmentary sekais, so honestly I'm just looking forward to it.

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Half Shy (the songwriter of “Monster”)

For the last few months, I’ve been collecting information for a second edition of Exploring the Land of Ooo that will also cover the production of Distant Lands. This means that I’ve started to look into the new songs that we have been graced with this year, and this of course includes “Monster,” the beautiful track from the masterpiece that is “Obsidian”. And so I reached out to the song’s writer, Half Shy, who was kind enough to chat with me via email about the songwriting process!

(Photo courtesy of Half Shy)

In many ways, Half Shy is living the creative Adventure Time fan’s dream: She got asked by Adam Muto himself to write a song for “Obsidian” after he heard her music through Bandcamp! (I’ve dabbled in fan music before, and the fact that someone from the show might listen to it just blows my mind.) What an opportunity; I am so excited for her!

Since a second edition of my book won’t be coming out until after all the Distant Lands episodes air, I thought it would be best to share my Half Shy interview now. Read on for the fascinating behind the scenes story of how Half Shy and “Monster” came to be..

GunterFan: What is your origin story? How did you get involved in music, and how did the Half Shy project come to be?

Half Shy: I’ve been making music pretty quietly since I was in high school with a keyboard and guitar. I played one or two shows a year after college when I could find a friend or my brother to get up on stage with me, but I don’t really have that performer gene in me naturally. I get too much in my head and forget what the lyrics are to the song I wrote, or what the next chord is. Total brain freeze. So that whole experience is a bit of a mental drain. It’s something I think I’d like to dig into and figure out, but right now I’m really enjoying the time writing.

Even playing a song for my friends I still get pretty nervous. That’s where the name Half Shy comes from. I’ve always been interested in making things that by their nature draw a bit of a spotlight, but at the same time, I am just really quite nervous about the attention.

I recorded my first songs under my old name Hey V Kay in my bedroom and started putting them up online one at a time. When I got enough I thought about packaging it up into an album, but then got really distracted by learning how to fix up motorcycles and going to automotive tech school. When I eventually got back around to it I named the album Gut Wrenching.

After a few years I realized that I didn’t want the day-in-day-out life of a mechanic, I just wanted to know how to fix cars for myself and to have that knowledge in my back pocket. I got back into making music but grew frustrated at the process of writing and recording songs. I felt like I wasn’t able to capture the ideas I had in my head. Like trying to draw on your computer with a mouse. Doable, but it’s not going to come out like you’d hoped.

So these last couple of years I’ve focused more on learning the technical aspect of it, from the initial ideas and lyrics, to the recording and mixing. During that process I put out Bedroom Visionaries, and while writing I happened upon the name Half Shy in an old Thesaurus which felt instantly right. Learning all of that has been fun, I even went as far as to create my own book to solidify a daily writing routine (lyricworkbook.com). All that has been a bit of a tangent from actually making much music though. I should be getting my books in December from the press so I’m really looking forward to getting back into making more music instead of dealing with printing presses, setting up websites, and sourcing ribbon suppliers.

GF: What is the story behind "Monster"? How did the show get in contact with you?

HS: I keep a log of “Song Starters” with neat things I’ve heard in the world, and I would look through it every now and then and notice just how many came from Adventure Time. Eventually I thought well, I have to make a song about this show that just keeps breaking my heart. It was around the time I was nearly done with the first [Adventure Time-inspired] song “In My Element” that I got an email from Bandcamp saying “someone bought your album (Bedroom Visionaries).”

I get maybe one or two of these a month at most so I love to go in and say hi to the person and say thanks, be curious about who they are, [and] what they’re all about. Turns out it was Adam Muto, the executive producer of the show. (I asked and he has no idea how he happened upon my stuff. He guessed that I must have tagged something #adventuretime and he just happened to see it.) So I sent him an email saying, “Hey wow thanks for checking out my tunes. Also... holy crap you’ve made the best show I have ever seen in my life.” [I] played it real cool like. After finishing up writing my second [Adventure Time-inspired] song “Betty” I couldn’t help but fangirl real hard [and I sent him another message saying], “I’m sorry this is probably awkward, but I really love your show and I wrote these songs about it.” He was incredibly kind and shared them with his Twitter Universe, and a while after that I got a random email from him saying basically, “Hey, I’m working on this thing I can’t talk about, would you be interested?” I was like… well you know I’m pretty busy working at a sign shop so I’m gonna have to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity (J/K. Obviously I fan-girl squealed and said yes immediately).

We chatted a bit about what the project was going to be and the direction. He mentioned there [would be] two Marceline songs in the special, [and he asked if I] would I be interested in giving the love song a try? Trying real hard to suppress my instant imposter syndrome I was like, “Yea, totally I’d be into giving that a shot!” So I read through the story and loved the idea of the dragon mirrored in Marceline, thinking through how they’ve both built up a protective shell, how she grew tough for a reason, but now she can open up and be vulnerable with PB.

From there I wrote the initial demo with the first two verses mostly intact and we went back and forth a few times editing it down into the final version. I recorded the final parts for the show in my little home studio in Seattle.

GS: When you were writing the song, what emotions, thoughts, or ideas were you channeling? Was there any sort of memory of event that you were trying to artistically "catch" or "recreate" with the lyrics or music?

HS: As far as channeling an emotion, generally I’d say just the experience of existing as a human. It can be so hard to open up and be vulnerable. I can remember that feeling even as a young kid—getting really excited about something and having someone completely trash it or look at you like, “Why are you so interested in that? It’s dumb.” [It causes us to grow] a little more weary to share ourselves because we know that hurt and embarrassment. The pain of being misunderstood is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Then having to decide whether to keep sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself or think, “They’re just not going to get it, I’m going to get hurt, so why bother?” and then stop putting yourself out there. You lose a lot with that thick armor though. You might feel protected, but you’re not feeling a whole lot of anything else other than the weight and chafing of it (I had a whole lot of armor-related metaphors that I didn't end up using.).

I struggle with this in songwriting too. I’m not the bolt-of-lightning type. There are pages and pages of cliches, total garbage, bad jokes, and cheesy lines that I have to get through in order to get to something that I am excited to put out there into the world: “Here I did this thing, I know it’s a little (this or that), but I made it... What do you think?” It’s hard to open yourself up to hearing the other end of that question.

I filled about 5 little pocket notebooks just thinking through the story, ideas, and trying to get this song right. I wanted it to feel familiar and honor the past songs of the show ([e.g.,] using the ukulele and referencing a few of the familiar chords from “I’m Just Your Problem”) but also be pretty open and vulnerable and different for [Marceline]. [I wanted to] show that she’s going through some tough emotions but also figuring herself out and growing.

GF: I feel like “Monster” is, at its core, an ode to the “Bubbline” ship. How do you feel about your song being intimately connected to one of the most famous LGBTQ+ relationships in animation? Do you have any general thoughts on Marcy and PB, Bubbline, etc.?

HS: Oh, I’m a total fan girl of Bubbline. The whole story of how Rebecca Sugar and Muto slowly morphed it into this deeper relationship is just great. As a part of the LGBTQ community myself it really means so much to see the representation of characters like yourself portrayed in an intelligent way. Growing up I was too young to fully understand what was going on but I saw Ellen getting cancelled, and [I] heard people around me saying they’d never watch her show again after she came out. That stuff sinks in as a kid and so to have these characters who are not only intelligent, but funny, complex, and unapologetically strong who also happen to be queer is really great. I love that the story here isn’t about their orientation, but that they’re people struggling with how to be open and vulnerable in a relationship.

It feels like something sci-fi and animated shows do so well—to show that ridiculousness of limiting who a person should and shouldn’t love. Marceline is a 1000+ year old half-demon/vampire and PB was born from the Mothergum of an apocalyptic radioactive world, but you’re going to get hung up on them loving each other? It sort of brings it into perspective in a really interesting way.

GF: Do you have any other thoughts about the experience that you'd like to share?

HS: Just how lucky, thankful, and honored I feel to be a part of my favorite show, writing a song for one of my favorite characters. It’s also incredibly cool how the people on the show are so willing to connect and collaborate with their fandom. Everyone [on the production crew] was very open and a real joy to work with.

I’d like to give a huge “Thank you!” to Half Shy for agreeing to participate in this interview; she really was quite amiable! If you’d like to hear more of her music, check out her website and her Bandcamp. You can also follow her on Instragram here and on Twitter here. And of course, here is Half Shy’s awesome video of “Monster”.

[icelily17]

Date Night (A KimxRon fic)

Alrighty, here’s a little writing exercise for myself! This prompt was from @gothicthundra and I’m very grateful to everyone else for suggested prompts! I’ll get to them hopefully soon. Put under a read more for space purposes haha, this is set during Season 4 just so I can start on familiar ground. I really, really hope I didn’t butcher the characters....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You think you’re all that, Kim Possible!! But you’re nooooooot!!!!” Dr. Drakken yelled out angrily as he flew away with Shego in his hovercar, once again defeated. Kim Possible, teen superhero, stood up and dusted herself off after a job well done. “Okay, Drakken, whatever you say,” she said sarcastically.

“Y’know, how many times is he going to say that line?” Ron Stoppable came up behind her, picking a piece of dirt off her shoulder that she missed. Her best friend-turned-boyfriend crossed his arms, “You’d think that after the first couple of hundred times his butt was kicked, he’d come up with something else”.

“Well, at least Drakken didn’t get his hands on that chromium gem to power whatever his newest hairbrained scheme, AND we got it done before dinnertime!” Kim looked at her watch, “Perfect!”

“Yeah! We can stop at Bueno Nacho on the way home!” Ron exclaimed. Rufus came out of his pocket and ran up Ron’s shoulder and squeaked “Mmm, dinner! Hungry!”

Kim smiled and took out the Kimmunicator, “Sorry, I have some AP English homework I have to do tonight. Wade?” She called, and within seconds their friend blipped on the screen, “Can you get us a ride back to Middleton?”

“Hey guys, didja get Drakken before he got the goods?” Wade asked, already typing away looking for a contact. “Yeah, the chromium gem is safe and sound in the lab,” she assured. “Cool, you’re ride’s on it’s way!” Wade gave a thumbs up, to which Kim gave her thanks and put the Kimmunicator away.

 “English homework? On a Friday night? But I thought Friday night was our night!” Ron said, continuing their conversation.

“Not officially!”

“Aw man, that rips,” Ron moaned, “I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time together.” Kim raised her eyebrow, “Ron, all we ever do is spend time together.”

“Yeah, I know, but I meant something along the lines of a date. Maybe a movie, maybe we could have watched the newest episode of Agony County, grab a pizza....you know,” Ron rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. It was something he felt he could never get used to, talking about going on dates with Kim; it was like a never-ending dream, being her boyfriend. Kim smiled affectionately and grabbed his hand, “Sorry, but I really want to get a headstart on this homework. You know you can still come over?”

“Nah, I dont want to distract you if you’re working. I’ll just head home and play some Zombie Mayhem 2. What about tomorrow? I can take you out to dinner, we could go to a movie or take a stroll around town?” They began walking downhill to their rendezvous point. Kim put her finger to her chin as she thought, “Hmm....tomorrow’s looking pretty free, dinner and a walk sound great.”

“Coolness! Pick you up at 7?”

“It’s a date,” Kim giggled.

--THE NEXT DAY--

“Monique, I don’t have a clue what I should wear!” Kim wailed into her phone, shoving her clothes aside in her closet. She picked up a blue flowy long-sleeve shirt and held it up to herself in front of her mirror.

“Girl, it’s a date. You said he’s taking you out to dinner?” Her other best friend asked. “Yeah, but I dont know where, I dont want to be too over-dressed,” Kim said.

“If it’s Bueno Nacho, then it’s most likely over-dressed,” Monique deadpanned. “No, I don’t think it’s Bueno Nacho this time, he sounded like he really wanted to make this a real date,” the redhead mused, holding up a forest green long-sleeved shirt that had cut-outs on the shoulders to herself. She smiled and put it on the bed, returning to her closet for a pair of pants.

“Well, good on him! Look Kim, it’s Ron, you have nothing to worry about! It’s not like you haven’t known each other your whole lives,” Monique pointed out. Kim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had to admit Monique had a point. She had nothing to worry about, she knew that as long as she was with Ron she was going to have a good time. She glanced up on her dresser mirror and saw the pictures she and Ron had taken in a photobooth a few years ago, and smiled at the familiar flutters in her gut she felt when she looked at him.

“You’re right, Monique...not to sound too dramatic, but it’s just that it’s a little weird to think about going on a date with Ron. I mean, a real date as boyfriend and girlfriend, not the stuff we usually do. But in a good way! It’s just...”

“New?” Monique offered. Kim smiled, “Yea, new. But I like it.” She pulled out a pair of dark jeans, a pair of black boots with a small heel and a necklace, “Alright, outfit picked, not too casual, but not too dressy. So not the drama, thanks Monique!”

“No problem Kim. TTYL, spill the deets on Monday!” her friend said her goodbyes and hung up. Kim got ready, put on the slightest bit of makeup, hoping her father wouldn’t notice but felt it was necessary. This was a date, she wasn’t an animal, and she wanted to look nice for Ron. She sprayed a little perfume, then went downstairs and sat on the sofa where her little brothers were watching some cartoon she didn’t care about, and her mother was reading a book.

“All ready for your date Kimmie? When’s Ron coming over?” Dr. Ann Possible glanced up, looking at her daughter. Kim took the fact she didn’t say anything about her makeup meant she looked fine by her parents’ standards and opened her mouth to answer--

“Kim’s going on a daaaaaaate!” Jim taunted. “Ew, cootie alert!” Tim followed, and both boys laughed. “Shut it, Tweebs!” Kim hissed. “Boys,” their mother warned, and the twins just grinned and turned back to their show. “Ron said he’d pick me up at 7. It’s just to dinner and a walk, nothing too fancy,” Kim told her mom. Mrs. Possible smiled and turned a page, “Well that’s nice, I hope you two have a good time.”

“Where’s Dad? Working late again?”

“Ah, you know your father when there’s a new project at work, he’ll probably be gone later than you will. Which by the way, not too late okay?” Mrs. Possible looked up sternly. “I know Mom, 10 o’ clock,” Kim rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Her mother smiled, “Let’s make it 10;30. It’s Saturday, and it’s Ron, it’s not like he’s a stranger.”

Kim gasped, “Really? Oh thank you Mom!”

Mrs. Possible chuckled and pat her daughter on the hand, “Of course Kimmie, and if your father has anything to say he can talk to me about it.” She returned to her book again, and at that moment the doorbell rang.

Kim answered the door to Ron in a nice button-down short-sleeved red plaid shirt with a darker red t-shirt underneath, a pair of light blue jeans and sneakers. Kim was grateful that he had decided not to wear his usual jersey and so didn’t say anything except “Wow, look at you!” To which Ron giggled nervously and produced a bouquet of lilies. Kim smiled and took them happily.

“Good evening mademoiselle, and may I say you look very enchanting this evening,” He lifted an eyebrow in a flirty way. Kim laughed into her hand, then went inside to put the bouquet in a vase. He followed her inside and waved, “Hey Dr. P!”

“Hello Ron! Have Kim home by 10:30, okay?”

“You got it!” He called back as Kim dragged him out of the house. They walked down the walkway to where his scooter was parked and Ron handed her a helmet. “So where are we headed, Mr. Romantic?” Kim asked as she put it on and climbed on the back of the scooter.

“There’s this Italian place downtown I thought we could check out, DiPaolo’s,” He revved up the scooter, Kim grabbed his waist and they left. “Is that okay?”

“I could go for pasta,” Kim said, resting her head on his back. “At least it’s not Bueno Nacho.” Ron smiled as his tummy turned slightly and they rode in silence. 

At the restaurant they initially sat in uncomfortable silence as they realized this was their first real, fancy-ish not-naco-and-a-movie date since becoming a couple and didn’t know what to do. Ron glanced at the menu and was glad his father lent him some money--not too expensive but not quite cheap either. He glanced up at Kim and could swear he was looking at an angel. She looked beautiful (well I mean not that she isn’t all the time but WOW) and he was once again wondering how he was so lucky to have been the one Kim chose to be with. He smiled affectionately, and when Kim caught his eye she smiled back shyly.

“Hey KP, this is so...well, I mean...I just...” he began, but sputtered nervously. Great, not how he wanted to start, real smooth Stoppable. But Kim put her hand on his, to which he looked up and saw her still smiling and shaking her head.

“Oh Ron, look...if it makes you feel better, I’m nervous too.”

“You? But you’re never nervous!”

“I am when it comes to cute boys,” she said slyly. Ron giggled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Haha, yeah...but I didn’t want to be nervous. I mean, we shouldn’t be, right? I mean, it’s us.” 

Kim leaned back in her seat, “You’re right...it is us, but this is something I guess we never really expected. Still, I’m glad it happened, and I’m glad you’re here with me.” Ron smiled and took her hand again, “Yeah?”

“Of course. Here’s an idea: let’s just pretend this is just another hangout at Bueno Nacho, and we’ll go from there one step at a time, okay?” She squeezed his hand.

“Yeah!” Just then the waiter came up and asked “What can I get you to drink?” with his notepad and pen poised. Kim ordered a water with lemon, and when the waiter turned to Ron, he studied the menu for a minute before looking at the waiter. “I’ll have a coco-moo....I mean, ah.....iced tea! Yeah, iced tea please, heh heh,” he chuckled nervously. The waiter and Kim raised an eyebrow, exchanged a glance, and the waiter walked away to get their drinks.

“Coco-moo?” Kim inquired. Ron shrugged a shoulder, “I heard it somewhere once, can’t remember. Anyway,” he said, clearly trying to move on, “did you finish your English paper?”

The rest of dinner went easily, and neither of the teens could believe they were even nervous to begin with. When they got past the initial awkwardness, it was like everything was as it had always been, just with more handholding and kisses and neither of them were complaining about that.

Afterwards, they rode Ron’s scooter to the park and just walked hand in hand. They stopped at a familiar, graffiti covered wall and sat on the bench nearby. “Hey, remember when you were hit with Drakken’s weird plant and were going to disappear every time you got embarrassed?” Ron asked.

Kim rolled her eyes, “How could I forget? They followed me on my date with Josh Mankey and tried to embarrass me themselves! Not to mention the embarrassment ninjas and the Tweebs...did you know they set up a projector and showed embarrassing pictures of me here on this wall?”

Ron winced, “Oof, that’s harsh. Embarrassment ninjas?” Kim nodded, “Yeah, but then you came through and got me out of it just in time.” Ron shrugged, “Well I wasn’t going to just let you disappear. Although, I was surprised you weren’t in your room, Wade and I had to track you down.”

Kim looked away sheepishly, “Yea...I’m sorry about that...” Ron waved his hand and gave his goofy smile, “Hey no big, KP. Everything turned out fine and the Ron-Man saved the day!” Ron tried not to think about how he had felt when he saw Kim out with Mankey, risking her life just for a date. He remembered giving her a thumbs up when she looked at him in gratitude, because like Mankey or not (which he absolutely did not) he was going to support his best friend.

But that didn’t stop the pang he had felt in his chest that night.

“You know, I think that might have been the first time I noticed I liked you,” Ron said thoughtfully. “What?” Kim asked, looking at him. He winced, “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yea, but what do you mean? When I was on my date with Josh?” She asked. She was surprised he had liked her for that long, and a little pleased.

“Yea. I know I didn’t like him but I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of you dating him if you had wanted that. But seeing you there, all happy on your date, I was....”

“Jellin’?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I mean jealous?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I had never really thought about it, about you, that way up until then. But I still didn’t think about it up until the end of last year. And I didn’t know what you thought of me, you know?” The blonde put his hands together and twiddled his thumbs.

Kim faced him, “Ron, why didn’t you say anything?” Ron shrugged, “I didn’t want to risk our friendship.” Kim understood, she had wrestled with the thought for years on her end. She smiled and put a hand on his cheek, “Well let me be the first to say that I like you, Ron Stoppable, and I am very glad that you are my boyfriend. I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.”

They smiled at each other and leaned in for a tender kiss. They remained that way, in a sweet embrace for some time before they had to come up for some air. Ron leaned back and looked at her through half-lidded eyes. Her cheeks were red and there was a sparkle in her eye; he felt his heart swell and once again thanked the universe for making him the luckiest man in the world.

“I love you, KP.”

Kim’s eyes turned bright as she felt herself warm up from head to toe; she felt an almost weightless-ness as her chest swelled tight. She could burst out of happiness, and nothing could ruin this moment for her--not even Shego.

She threw her arms around his neck and captured his lips once again, and they could feel each other smiling into it. As they pulled away, Kim let out a sigh, “Best date ever.”

Ron laughed, “Boo-yah! I still got the way with the ladies!” Kim just smiled at her goofball. She looked at her watch: 10:15. “Well, we better head back home. Let’s go, Romeo.”

The drove back to the Possible house; Kim was slightly relieved to see that her mother had been right and Mr. Possible was still working. No pesky questions, no matter how well-meaning her dad was. They both got off, since Ron was going to walk her to the door--he knew the basic boyfriend rules.

“So you wanna come over and watch the latest Agony County episode tomorrow? I taped it,” Kim asked, her hand on the door. “You got it! Order a pizza?” Ron asked. 

“Psshh-yeah! Isn’t that the tradition?”

“Bon diggity, I’ll bring the popcorn and soda,” Ron said excitedly. “Well, ‘night KP!” 

Kim leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight Ron. Tonight was perfect. See you tomorrow!”

Ron waited until she went inside before he walked back to his scooter and walked it into the garage of his house next door. He went up to his room, smiling so hard he thought his face was going to break in half. When he walked in, Rufus looked up from the video game he was playing and squeaked at him as if to ask how it went.

“Rufus, buddy, your main man Ron’s still got the moves,” Ron said, then sighed happily as he flopped on his bed. Rufus squealed happily and ran next to him.

“I was wrong Rufus. Love isn’t complicated...it’s great!”

[imnotwolverine]

A special request

Henry Cavill x reader oneshot

Word count: 1.566 (it was supposed to a drabble mkey?) 

Disclaimer: just fluff

Summary: One of your fanfiction stories has made it to the silver screen, starring Henry as your lead. During a talkshow the two of you meet for the first time and fluffy awkwardness ensues. 

Author’s note: I dreamed this last night and I swear I was still blushing by the time I woke up - woops. 

‘Welcome, welcome Henry! Do sit down.’ The applause slowly died down as Henry sat down, smiling at Graham.

‘Thank you. Thanks for having me Graham.’

‘Now. I’d like to kick in this door straight away. We have a little surprise for you.’

‘A surprise? Okay.. haha’ Henry smiled, raising an eyebrow at the audience.

‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. We’re not going to kidnap you or anything.’ The audience laughed. ‘Now! You’re currently touring for your newest film and we found something that probably would..eh..tickle your fancy.’

‘You did?’ Henry gave a hesitant look at Graham.

‘Before we bring out the surprise, I’m curious; you received the script, which was based on a fanfiction..about you. Did you ever get to read the original story? The fan written one?’

‘I..did..actually. Wait. Please don’t tell me you’ve managed to get her here.’

‘Well..’ Graham shrugged and snickered happily. ‘..time to see for yourself.’ Graham jumped up from his chair and gestured his team to bring in “the present”.

Squinting your eyes and laughing hesitantly you walked up the stage - near losing your footing as you were to occupied with the bright hot lights that shone at the red couch. Meanwhile Henry looked over his shoulder at his “present” and it was clear to anyone he was struck with confusion.

Wait. THIS was the writer?

Graham was first to shake hands with you, allowing Henry some time to quickly scramble up to his feet.

‘Hello dear! So good to have you here and welcome to the Graham Norton show!’ The audience applauded happily as you grinned, your eye soon to land on a slightly flabbergasted Henry.

‘Hi.’ You giggled.

‘Uh..hi.’ Henry outstretched both arms, pulling you in for an awkward hug, leaving you no time to even register what was happening.

Graham chuckled and sat back down, twisting in his chair while you and Henry quickly took your place on the couch, a blush on both your cheeks.

‘So! SURPRISE!’ Graham smiled, flailing out his hands and near throwing his cards in the excitement.

‘This is..a surprise for sure.’ Henry breathed, looking back over at you.

‘First impressions?’ Graham cooed, seeing the nervous but curious looks the two of you shared.

‘Eh…damn you are way bigger than I had expected.’ You blurted out, laughing giddily. ‘I guess pictures DO only tell half the story.’

Henry laughed shyly, looking at his knees for a short moment before he looked back up at you, intrigued by what he saw.

‘Thanks..I guess? And as for me..well..I’ve never seen a picture of you or anything. So I must admit my imagination had run a little wild on what ..you..would look like.’

You raised your eyebrows, slightly surprised: ‘But you have thought about it? Wow. So do you always do that when reading someone’s story?’ You turned slightly, folding your arm over the backrest and pulling up a leg to get more comfortable.

‘Eh…’ Henry’s mind blanked for a moment as his eyes quickly flicked back and forth between Graham and you.

‘Admittedly..no.’ He licked his lips, looking at the audience for a slight as he continued. ‘I..guess this is a good moment to admit that I have read your work. All of your work. And I read your stories WAY before my agent even sent me that script.’

‘Really? Oh…’ Your face flushed bright red at the thought - all those paper thin plot lines to indulge in pure Henry smut? Yes. He read all of them.

Henry smiled, also leaning back on the sofa and moving an arm over the back rest - near mirroring your pose.

‘I really liked them.’ He said matter of factly, searching for eye contact with you. You smiled awkwardly and the fact the audience was “awe”-ing right now, didn’t help much in making the situation any less awkward.

‘Ha..That’s..good. Good. Wow I hadn’t expected that.’ You resumed, sitting up a bit and looking at Henry. He smiled warmly.

‘Okay. Maybe for the audience: just to kind of …share a little intel here.’ You looked at the audience. ‘I write fanfiction that includes what you best can describe as ..porn? With him being one of my regular characters. So. Yes. This is.. strange.’

The audience let out a loud chuckle, some people wooing.

‘Yea..well I’m glad they picked the romcom story to be filmed. Otherwise I might have had to make a career switch.’ Henry shrugged, grinning at the thought. You laughed.

‘Yea..even movie magic would have a hard time translating that in a PG-13 kind of way.’

The two of you snickered and Graham finally leaned back in.

‘Now Henry. You HAVE read all of her material. And you say you DID have some ideas on what she’d look like. I am probably not the only curious about what it is you were expecting?!’ The audience agreed with Graham and you also shrugged, admitting the curiosity was there.

Henry gave an exasperated look at the audience, then directed his attention back at you.

‘Well. Let’s first of all say I definitely didn’t expect anything close to what you look like, so bear with me. From the stories you wrote I could distill that you were at least medium height, probably dark or red haired and I figured you’d have green eyes since your first stories included a lot of characters with green eyes.’

‘Well, you got that right.’ You shrugged, seeing Henry hesitate.

‘I however didn’t expect you to be this…pretty? Eh..goodness this really puts me in the spot now, doesn’t it?’ Henry smiled awkwardly, hoping you wouldn’t get mad.

You however didn’t mind. If anything this was pure gold for your smutty heart.

‘Thank you…Hmm..Gosh this makes the whole situation even more weird. But I guess I could have expected as much. A few weeks ago someone reached out through my DM’s, asking if I wanted to be part of this show. I initially thought someone was pulling my leg. But alas. I got curious. Asked for their contact info. Contacted them. And yes. This was REAL…and now I’m HERE. With you! Life is so weird.’ You rambled, shaking your head in slight disbelief.

‘Well I’m glad you accepted the offer. It’s ..truly nice to meet you. For real now. Not just by reading your work.’

You smiled. ‘It’s nice to meet you too…Henry’ He grinned and you finally, finally dared to take a real, close look at him.

‘You really are one handsome man. Yeeus. In my mind you had like..some medium okay skin, some hair out of place and perhaps a crooked tooth or something. You don’t however. And your eyes are SO much more blue than I had expected. And that heterochromia..’ You gawked in amazement. ‘..okay..now I’m really just babbling. Sorry.’ You sniffled and quickly reached for the glass of wine that stood forlorn on the table.

Henry smiled and followed your movements with quiet curiosity. What he was thinking? Nobody knew.

Graham had been uncharacteristically quiet for some time now and was leaning in to intervene, but decided against it, sitting back in his chair. There was something going on between the two of you that was close to actual real chemistry. Sparks flying and all.

You noticed Graham’s hesitance and gave him a questioning look.

‘Oh please continue.’ Graham smiled, folding his hands in his lap like an excited school kid.

‘Eh okay..’ You turned your attention back to Henry, his blue eyes studying you. A giddy smile tugged on both your lips.

‘So do you write from own experiences?’ He asked.

‘I guess I do. Pretty much everything I write does come from my perspective, my experiences. Though of course..I fill in a lot too. Like..characterising you.’

‘I thought you characterised me pretty well.’ Henry smiled, seeing another shy blush cross over your cheeks.

‘Really?’

‘So much so that I maybe..saved some of your stories on my phone just so I could read them when I need it. Like…’ Henry pulled a face. ‘..like when I am feeling a bit lonely I’ll read the romcom stuff. When I’m fed up or annoyed some of the short stories - love your Geralt work - and when I’m a bit horny..well….’ The audience laughed. ‘Yea. It’s quite unique to be able to read porn about..yourself.’

‘Oh gods.’ You shrunk away a bit as Henry offered you a cheeky smile.

‘It’s…really good.’ Henry gave you a warm, unapologetic smile as you quickly drew in a breath, calming your nerves.

‘Dearness me. In a way you are fanboying over my work and I am fangirling over your work. And that’s all fun and games till you actually meet each other. Are we like…each others fans?’ You asked.

Henry’s smile grew as he tilted his head.

‘I guess we are, hmmm.’ Henry smiled, thinking.

‘Yep.’ You nodded, also somewhat lost in thought.

A quiet moment snuck in as you both took on a pensive expression.

...

‘He—.’ ‘Heyy.’ You both spoke simultaneously.

‘Ladies first.’ Henry quickly added.

You smiled: ‘If you have any special requests…I mean..I’d gladly…write..for you.’ With every word you became more confused, seeing Henry burst out in laughter, shoulders shaking.

‘That was just what I was about to ask.’

‘Hmm? Really?’

‘Really.’ He smiled, leaning in slightly. ‘First request. How about ..a first date?’

[muthaz-rapapa]

Let’s talk TroPreCure! (^∀^ 🌺)

i’m so stupidly proud of this dumb pun “tropurikyua~”, hahahahaha

Last post of the year and wow is there are lot to be excited for!

I even had to make a list for the stuff I want to talk about and I’m sure I already forgot one or two things but we’ll get to them as we continue to float~ along the wave to February 28th, mmkay? :)

Now for what has peaked my interest so far. And yes, we have to talk about the following first:

1) HealPre the shortest Precure season??

Unless they plan for double features in February (which I doubt but you never know), HealPre is likely going to reach only 45 episodes long instead of the usual 48~50 before TroPre I’m using this shortening of the title for now so if there’s a better alternative, tell me and I’ll switch out begins its broadcast.

Understandable because the producers probably want to get back to their normal scheduling as soon as possible (toy sales, y’know) and I suspect pushing the start of the new season back by a month is the most they’re willing to compromise.

As for me, I’m quite happy about this since HealPre’s lost its hold on my attention a while ago so the sooner TroPre gets here, the better. Though the downside might be a scrambled climax and a rushed, underwhelming ending for HealPre (I dunno if it’s January’s titles that feel a bit messy or if the hiatus is still throwing me off) but whatever. We’ll refresh ourselves with the new blood Cures so it’s all good.

2) Tropical movie announced for Autumn 2021, no All Stars??

(source)

First saw this mentioned on Youtube somewhere but it’s all over the fandom forums by now. I mean, HealPre’s movie is set for March, the usual time slot for All Stars release. If Toei intended for there to be an All Stars in 2021, there’s no way they would announce the seasonal movie before it so speculations of them skipping it this year are probably true.

To squeeze it somewhere between March and October-ish would force them to readjust their budgets as well and I don’t think even Toei wants to go through that extra hassle after all the trouble the pandemic’s caused for everyone already. It’s just easier to resume All Stars in 2022.

That, and I think Laura being a major character in TroPre despite not having a Cure title (yet) would make for an awkward situation when the three latest teams gather so perhaps that’s also one of the reasons. But I’ll get back to Laura in a bit.

3) Cure Summer is a RAINBOW Cure

So god help me if I see anyone calling her a Pink Cure.

Yes, she’s the lead Cure for this season. NO, she is not a Pink Cure.

Look, even the official website has a rainbow overlay for her profile pic and text font while everyone else’s respective theme colors are a solid hue:

Therefore, RAINBOW.

In promotional material and merchandising, they’re probably going to advertise her primarily with pink bah and at worst, she might occasionally be labeled as a White Cure with multiple subcolors (her outfit is not pink-dominant) but definitely NOT. PINK.

...also, this goes without saying but f***yea, we finally got a lead Cure practically and unabashedly wearing the LGBTQ flag and you cannot tell me otherwise, Toei!

Own up to it! Declare Manatsu/Cure Summer as the Precure queer icon!

I’m not gonna stop yellin’ until you do! 😠

4) Laura = obvious midseason Cure is obvious

First of all, Laura is a babe. I already love her the best and she’s not even Precure yet. <3

Anyways, the set-up is pretty much in the description. Important main character who’s not a mascot, stated to have a self-confident personality and just speaks her mind (oooh, I like~ :D), magical/foreign being from another world looking for Precure to save her home, possesses her own special item(s), has aspirations to become the next Queen (so she’s a princess-candidate or something to that effect, I suppose).

We’ve seen various combinations of these traits in past midseason (and a few starter) Cures so nobody should be surprised when we all guessed that one of the Cures would be a real live mermaid.

The only question is why not just make Laura a Cure from the get-go if she’s introduced to us at the beginning (like Hime or Lala) and having a team of five with no unnecessary extra add-ons later on (like Smile).

Well, there’s a simple answer for that: formula.

Toei is afraid that if they don’t spit out some new animation sequence at the halfway and third quarter points of the show, the kids will lose interest and abandon the series altogether. Which means failed toy sales. Oh nooo... [/sarcasm]

...Yea. 

And this way they can also have Laura available in the Cure lineup for the next All Stars in 2022 instead of making her sit the fight out if we were going to have one in 2021. I’m convinced that’s gotta be one of the reasons. *shrug*

But ok, whatever. Her debut is gonna be later, that’s all. She’s a delayed Cure.  Midseason Cure, same difference.

Moving along to the more important stuff now like what’s her Cure name gonna be, y/y?

Well, knowing Toei, a translation of the term “mermaid” into another language is the most predictable route even though we already have a Cure Mermaid. Not like that ever stopped them from repeating words before (ex. Cure Happy vs Cure Felice). Though if they do go down that road, I hope they opt for the Spanish/Italian “sirena” and not the French “sirène” because the latter sounds too close to how Cure Selene is pronounced in Japanese. And, putting it nicely, we all know Japanese pronunciation of foreign words is as off kilter as can be.

Hell, even the the Portuguese “sereia” sounds aesthetic as hell so it’d be nice if they can just remember there are other languages that exist out there besides Japanese, English and French when making the final decision at the writing table! *stomps foot* >:/

Alternatively, “nereid” or “naiad” are good choices too but they remind me too much of Greek myths and Laura’s from the Grand Ocean which covers more than just a couple of seas (Greece is surrounded by three, btw) so...

I dunno. But whatever it’s gonna be, she’s definitely got a strong association with water and her powers will probably be based on that.

As for theme color, since there’s noticeably no blue or green Cure in the starter lineup, it’s likely she will take up that spot when she debuts around ep 20.

Pink is also open since Cure Summer, again, is technically not a Pink Cure and Laura’s hair and tail fin are hot and light pink respectively but looking at Laura’s design and concept, does anyone seriously believe that?

Her upper torso consists of aquamarine while the body of her tail is definitely some shade of cyan, implying they’re aiming for somewhere around the middle of green and blue on the lighter spectrum.

And yea, I’m aware that green and blue are considered exchangeable in some perspectives with how close some of their shades are to each other but officially, I think Laura’s gonna be grouped with the Green Cures.

Cuz of the hair. If Laura’s gonna keep it the same or a similar shade after transforming, that is. The Blues have always had cool-colored hair so putting Laura in with them might disrupt that harmony whereas if you put her with the few Greens there are (including Parfait), she’d fit right in.

I mean, we’ll see but that makes the most sense, doesn’t it?

On another note, I just want to say that I love how they added frills to her arms instead of letting her elbows go bare naked. It definitely makes her look more like a genuine mermaid than if she didn’t have them (remember, half fish doesn’t mean half the body :P).

5) Magical Items

Frankly, I’m tired of seeing the transformation device being a compact again even though one of the main motifs is make-up this season. But at least, as far as Precure compacts goes, the Tropical one is my favorite cuz of how cute and delightfully colorful its toy version looks! So I guess I’m okay with it.

The Heart Rouge Rod, though? ...I dunno. I think it would’ve been fine without that...straw (?) jutting out at the top. It looks weird, doesn’t it look weird? :S

As for the collectible clip-ons, I can live without those for the rest of my life. Yeesh.

Laura’s items, the Aqua Pot and the Ocean Prism Mirror.

Again with the portable, travel-size housing. *sigh* 😩

Alright, I can let this year slide cuz Laura (I’m so soft for her, omg) probably won’t be getting legs for 20 weeks so she’s got to move about on land somehow. But unless they’re really thinking about turning this idea of carrying your apartment around in your bag/pocket/purse into a reality (cuz that would be effin’ awesome), please be more creative with your toys.

On the other hand, I’m much more interested in the Ocean Prism Mirror but from what Kusyami (the Precure merchandise reviews I follow on Youtube) said in his latest vid, this is the ED dance item so don’t know if it’ll actually have an relevance to the story or not. But I did hear him mention it having something to do with the Queen as well and since Laura wishes to become Queen, maybe it’ll be important after all? Maybe it’s her transformation device?

That’d be super cool. Let’s continue the trend of the midseason Cure having a different transformation item than the starters. Honestly, we should alternate every other year or two but we’ve gone three seasons with all of them using the same henshin gimmicks up till HealPre and I just want a break from that.

6) Fin sleeves??

These look so impractical for combat so maybe it’s exclusive to group attacks.

And/or a sort of precursor to the super forms?

*GASP* Does that mean they all eventually turn into mermaids? 🤩

7) Yui finally became Precure!! 😭

lol, it’s all crack from this point on so don’t take it too seriously but man, after Yuni’s deceptive braids, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anything that reminded me of Yui for a while and lo behold, Sango.

kehehehehehe xD;

Though Yui might be closer to Minori in terms of personal interests (fairytales and storybooks).

8) Akira, the actual Onee-chan version

I didn’t think this when I first saw her but once I read “Onee-san” in her profile, there’s no saving you now. Sorry, Asuka. 😅

Also, damn, do her sandals make her feet look big! Compare them to the heels she wears as Flamingo. Are they even the same?! lololol

9) ...this sounds awfully familiar...

Translation:

Tokimeku Tokonatsu! [Exciting/Thrilling Everlasting Summer!] Cure Summer! Kirameku Hoseki! [Sparkling Jewel!] Cure Coral!  Hirameku Fuurutsu! [Flashing Fruit!] Cure Papaya!

Japanese reiteration:

Mallow/Mao: Pink no tokimeki! Lillie: Blue no kirameki! Lana/Suiren: Yellow no kagayaki!

….........

@Toei 

Care to explain yourselves, punks?! 

୧(ʘ ∀ ʘ ╬)

[fangirlofbooksandpasta]

The Last Kiss - Part 1

Pairing: Loki x reader 

Warning: indirect sex, mild swearing, very very VERY vague thor x reader (as in they had a one night stand w/o any details and that’s all), kind of insecure reader

Summary: When their friend Thor invites them to visit Asgard, Y/N says yes. But there they meet Thor’s brother; the notorious Loki. And little by little their relationship evolves. 

A/N: I such at writing and uploading regularly so sorry if you get into this and I don’t update for some time. I got help from @beksib​ with writing this. English is neither of our first languages, so sorry for any mistakes!! THERE WILL BE MORE PARTS IF I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER 

Y/N knew that Thor had a brother. Loki. And they remembered from their 5th grade obsession with norse mythology, that Loki was the God of Mischief, which made them a little afraid of meeting him, although Thor reassured them; he’s harmless. So when Thor invited Y/N to visit Asgaard, they said yes. 

When Y/N’s friends asked about their vacation plans, they couldn’t really tell them the details. Y/N could barely give them a general idea of where they were headed, as none of the friends had the inside knowledge. Truth was, Y/N wasn’t supposed to know either. Thor had gotten incredibly drunk one night at a bar, and told Y/N everything once they asked him where he was from. Of course, they believed none of it. He was just a drunk fool. But when they woke up the next morning, with a sleeping Thor lying by their side, they remembered sparks - on his… skin? Y/N also had a vague memory of his eyes lighting up during the act, but convinced themselves that it must’ve been light from outside their apartment that shone in. They mentioned the sparks and light as a joke when Thor had awakened, but the way Thor’s face expression changed with the speed of light, made them realise that something was odd about him. He tried to laugh it off , but his nonchalant attitude had vanished. For a long time after that, Thor avoided them. Which was rather difficult seeing that they worked with Bruce Banner as a part of their Ph.D. in molecular biology. What happened and was talked about at the tower, was top secret. This meant that Y/N had no access beyond the labs in which they occasionally worked with Bruce Banner. It was common knowledge that there was some sort of secret group at that tower, but Y/N never cared much for politics, which this seemed to be a part of. That was until they noticed Thor in the hallway with a funky sort of outfit, as if he was cosplaying a viking superhero. 

So one day Thor was forced to explain everything, which, technically, was illegal, but it was Thor. What was gonna happen to him, prison? 

Y/N just promised to keep it a secret and everything was fine. So fine that Thor invited them on vacation to Asgard. 

---

“This is a… guest room?” Y/N asked when the doors opened before them, revealing something that looked royal. Apparently it was just one of the guest rooms. 

Their eyes were met with a wide bed of sheets that looked strangely soft. Everything was golden and expensive-looking, but not in a way that was too much - on the contrary. On one of the nightstands was a bouquet of flowers. Some of the flowers they recognised, some they didn’t, guessing that they were native to Asgard. 

“Mother insisted I get flowers for my guests, so here you are, friend!” Thor said as excited as a golden retriever with his arms raised above his head. The sight made Y/N laugh at him

Soon they got dressed in Asgardian clothing, which they found surprisingly comfortable, considering how it looked. The main colour of the clothing being orange, it matched the golden plate covering their chest. It bore symbols that Y/N didn’t quite understand, although they did find them absolutely intriguing and beautiful. They felt like a royal warrior and for 15 minutes or so couldn’t stop looking at themselves in the mirror, turning around themselves and admiring the image before them, until Thor interrupted them. 

He had to fulfill the royal duties that followed a prince, one of them being practising combat (which mostly consisted of him beating his friends up, according to Thor himself). This meant that Y/N was on their own for some hours, which resulted in seemingly endless wandering of the big and majestic halls of the palace - something they didn’t mind, boring as it sounds. Some of the hallways had big painted walls, portraying what Y/N guessed were great and iconic battles. She recognised Odin in some, Thor in others. Some of the paintings portrayed stories she had heard of before, like the creation of the world. Other halls were like long balconies where the city of Asgard was portrayed like a grandiose landscape painting, making Y/N stop in their steps and simply admire the beauty of it all. They could see movement below them. People in this world, that knew little of other worlds, going about their day as any other. None of them knew of Y/N’s existence, none of them cared that this guest from another realm was observing them from the castle. 

But being lost amid the beauty of the golden city also meant that Y/N didn’t notice a certain prince standing at the other end of the open hallway. Loki, in his green attire, stood like a shadow in the bright sun and admired the guest. He couldn’t help but take in the beauty of how the flowy fabric embraced their figure in the gentle wind. The feeling was like a punch in the stomach - uncomfortable and unknown. He found himself fleeing the scene as if he had done something dreadful, which wasn’t something he usually would feel bad about. But this time he felt guilty. 

---

Y/N was met with an unbelievable sight. The throne room was decorated even more than it was usually. It was as if everything was covered with layers of gold. The guests - even servants - wore stunning clothing, the food looked delicious and endless on the long table, and according to Thor the ale practically refilled itself. At a loss for words, Y/N entered the throne room, feeling little and undeserving to be there. They had heard multiple Asgardians talk poorly about humans, which made them feel smaller than they felt before they heard these conversations. 

“Are you alright?” a soft voice from beside them asked. They turned around and saw probably one of the most beautiful women they had ever seen. Stunned by her appearance, it took a moment to produce an answer. 

“Y-yea, just overwhelmed I guess…” Y/N answered quietly, still admiring the throne room in all its glory when they felt a big hand pat them on their shoulder. 

“Welcome to a real party!” Thor laughed as he too looked upon the scene before him. Behind him came the warriors three, Volstagg and Fandral laughing about something, Volstagg with ale in his hand, and Hogun nodding along beside them. 

“Well who do we have here?!” Volstagg exclaimed in absolute excitement at the sight of an unknown guest. Y/N turned around, nervous at the thought of having to introduce themselves to people with a reputation such as theirs. 

“Y/N, my friend from Midgaard!” Thor answered excitedly, making Y/N feel like the guest of honour - a feeling they’d rather not attain at all during their stay. Nonetheless, Thor was extravagant like that. Siff gave Y/N a compassionate look that essentially said I feel you. 

“I must say that you look precious in your attire,” Fandral said in a sleek voice, a compliment Y/N appreciated but also felt weird by hearing. The clothing was beautiful, no doubt about it, but it was so different from what they used to wear back home. Being in a lab most of the time meant that clothing played a lesser role, as it was usually covered by a lab coat. Not only that, but in the rare occasion that they did dress up, it was nothing like what they were wearing at this ball. The insecurities and doubts hit them as soon as they stepped outside their room. 

“Don’t worry about him, he’s like that with everyone,” Siff said while pushing Fandral away, which made Y/N feel more at ease. Once again they looked across the grand hall while sipping at the ale they had acquired from a servant during the conversation. It tasted sweeter and fruitier than any other ale that they had come across. It tasted magical. Suddenly an unusual character caught their eye. A man dressed in black and green. He was standing on the balconies, all alone. His cloak was moving with the wind. For a moment he was all Y/N could see. That was, until he turned around and walked back inside. In order not to get caught staring at this stranger, they turned around to find that everyone was in the middle of an energetic conversation about some battle or training session. Only the man with black hair and a braided beard, who they guessed was Hogun, was standing quietly by. 

“His name is Loki. Brother of Thor,” Hogun said calmly to Y/N, who was rather confused for a moment as to who Hogun was talking about. He looked into their eyes and they understood who Hogun was referring to - the man on the balcony. They gazed upon the room and found Loki sitting by himself, also observing the party happening before him. Although the picture could be interpreted as a sad moment, he did look content with his situation. 

“What’s up with him?” Y/N asked curiously, not knowing how to express their question better. They got this weird feeling from the man across the room, as if they could feel his presence more than they ycould feel everyone else’s. They looked back at Hogun after a moment, who simply sighed slightly at the question, letting it hang in the air. 

“It’s complicated. Just,” he paused for a second before he looked into their eyes, “be wary if you are to converse with him. He can be manipulative.” Hogun’s warning echoed in their head while they walked to the long table to get themselves some food. It was a never ending buffet, a feast. So many different combinations could be made, it was nearly impossible to choose. The scents all mixed with each other and the foods’ warmth was felt on Y/N’s skin as they walked along the side of the table. 

In a moment of unawareness, as they turned around to try and find Thor again, they walked into the back of a stranger. 

“Oh shit sorry,” Y/N exclaimed when they realised what had happened. The stranger turned around, and soon Y/N realised that they were dealing with Loki. 

Loki the God of Mischief. 

And suddenly everything stood still. 

[vroenis]

Part 2

This is part 1.

Can you tell how tired I was getting by the end? This is life under meds, but given the other benefits (I think?), I’ll take it for now.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a whole lot I was thinking about and it’s stuff I want to say given I said a lot, but didn’t cover this stuff. I’m still happy with part 1, I think that’s just how I write, moving from subject to subject more or less organically and it does show me to more unstructured even if there is a vague plan for how I want the piece to go.

Anyway let’s get going.

As always, mild spoilers for well, everything. If you haven’t seen this stuff and are mildly interested in watching them then ah, you may have a lot of catching up to do. I don’t think I’ll drop any real hard spoilers for anything but you never know.

Ghost In The Shell is an Outsider story

There are whole stacks of lore you could dive into with Stand Alone Complex in particular, with Motoko having been in an aircraft accident and getting her first shell (cyber-body) at a very early age, what that means, the thing with Kuze (avoiding spoilers here), and the extended cast - not that Paz, Boma and even Ishikawa get a whole lot of time anyway - but it’s not really that important.

Looking at just Mamoru Oshii’s 1995 film, and even more-so his 2004 film Innocence (not really a sequel but usually regarded as such), the narratives cast the characters very much as Outsiders. In the first film, Section 9 is already at odds with the government in general and while it’s subtle, Aramaki as a department head is certainly different from his contemporaries, even if we don’t see much of it - again, so much more of this in Stand Alone Complex. Motoko’s early conversation with Togusa in the first film is probably the most telling as far as playing it loud. She speaks in pragmatic terms to why he’s there, but this is a precursor to what will ultimately transpire for herself at the conclusion of the film, something very intentionally written into the film. Batou is also an Outsider in more ways than one, not only in the role he plays in the department but in the very clear personal boundary between him and Motoko. There are boundaries between Batou and everyone and they become more apparent in the second film. Togusa is easy pickings so I’ll leave him alone, suffice to say if the film needs one, he’s the audience’s window of ignorance which is why he’s discarded so willingly half way in. He gets his time in the spotlight in Stand Alone Complex and it’s pretty amazing.

As for Motoko... I admit it is difficult separating my understanding of her character from Stand Alone Complex and attempting to just isolate what’s shown of her in the first film but I’ll try.

I mentioned the film’s centrepiece montage in my previous journal, in which we might say Motoko is the centrepiece but if so, she probably shares it with the city itself, and I feel much more is being said about the two together rather than separated simultaneously. This would be one of the first indications of Motoko’s sense of identity, of otherness, isolation, questioning. Again the scene that plays it most loud would be diving on the boat and her speech to Batou. There are other moments tho; single frames of her face, looks, movements that are lingered on, I feel like Oshii is constantly telling us about her and what she’s going to do, but more important than that, why she’s going to do it and how she feels.

Ghost in the Shell is a film about great emotion, and not like I’d know because it’s been a long time since I’ve looked into the discourse around it, but I suspect no-one really talks about it as a film about feelings.

I realise these days I talk more and more about moods and art being mood pieces. I labelled my Instagram account as being “A catalogue of moods” and I’m very fond of the use of the word in vernacular. It might seem flippant but it’s immensely empowered, especially for me as an individual when I understand my moods and can translate them into, via and thru art. I do appreciate many struggle with Oshii’s cinematic language as it can appear cold and detached and that’s fine, but it’s anything but for me - it’s immensely emotionally charged, it just appears differently to what audiences are perhaps accustomed to seeing. It’s a different language that perhaps takes time to learn, but it’s all there.

This couldn’t become more evident than in Innocence (the Ghost in the Shell 2 moniker I think was a western addendum). Batou takes centre stage and is  immediately presented as bluntly as possible as an Outsider, reaffirmed later by Aramaki who also cements Togusa’s position in limbo.

I should pause and say that within the GitS canon, I feel Togusa is definitely embraced by Section 9, so he’s not wholly an Outsider to the department, but for obvious reasons, he doesn’t fully share all of their daily or philosophical concerns - hence not wholly. He would also definitely be an Outsider to most other members of the force after joining Section 9, but unfortunately I’m not here to love Togusa, poor guy - I feel like he’s always a bit unloved. Someone write a giant essay in service to his greatness. He actually is great.

But I adore Batou in Innocence. I love his story, his struggle, his emotion. I love how present Motoko is without ever appearing on screen and then when she does, the impact she has on everything, especially with the lines she delivers, one of which I quoted to open the last journal. Batou is in many ways a shadow of what Motoko was and is/has become, just in physical form, mirroring her in a real world manifestation with the natural physical limitations that comes with.

For some reason I feel like I need to inject a comment about Batou putting the jacket/vest on Motoko’s body. I don’t know if people perceive this as an act of masculine modesty but it’s not how I read it. I did stumble on this action for years but as I began to interpret the films as Outsider stories, I realised that he does this as an act of inclusion, and that Motoko consents, permits him to and doesn’t immediately react with violence or technological recourse we know she is well capable of, indicates it’s mutual. Their inclusion isn’t just about the boundaries of the Section 9 department but extends beyond that, an inner circle that may only contain the two of them - inside which there are still boundaries between them Batou can never cross. Those boundaries become infinitely more apparent after the final events of the first film, and the second film effectively is all about how he feels about them. He is an ultimate Outsider, but so is Motoko in the state she now is in.

Section 9 is a department of stray dogs. Individuals who haven’t quite fit in where they belong, and found belonging with one another. Then, after a time, one of them moves on - at the conclusion of the first film, and then another feels an almost permanent and ultimate sense of separation - more or less the duration of the second film.

Ghost in the Shell isn’t about technology and sentience and hacking and corporations at all. It’s about loneliness and belonging and acceptance and affection. It’s about how that feels.

I’m Not Sure Why People Struggle With David Lynch Films

I need to stop talking about anime. Honestly I looked at the list at the start of the last journal and thought hell yea Sky Crawlers, Jin-Roh, Haibane Renmei and Lain let’s unpack some shit! but honestly I’ll run out of time and I should really draw from a variety of mediums and sources.

OK I’m not being facetious when I say Lynch’s films are fairly straight-forward narrative-wise. Again, it’s hard for me to position myself in a place where I’m not into the stuff I’m into and maybe that’s what gives me the cinematic language familiarity to parse them but that just sounds like wanker bullshit to me. I don’t mind if folks don’t like Lynch films, that’s fine. But they aren’t difficult.

So in the context of everything else, even on that short list on the last journal, plus how I keep trying to shift the discussion of works from the pragmatic reading of them to an emotional reading of them from a mood perspective, I feel as tho the same process can be applied to Lynch. So much about his films are about how they make you feel, or I’ll say - how they make *me* feel. It might be grandiose to assume I’m feeling the correct emotion, that these are the moods that David Lynch himself is attempting to create and evoke and thus, I am interpreting them correctly but hey - I enjoy the hell out of the films, feel I understand them and watch them over and over again so that’s all I’m basing it on.

That’s not to say there are things I dismiss as meaningless or that I don’t understand in his films, it’s just that I don’t have to parse them immediately at first watch and perhaps that’s the audience’s problem. I don’t know if reverse-diagnosis is appropriate but looking at how much hand-holding there is in other directors’ films might be just as telling. I mean I saw Nolan’s Tenet and was about the least confusing thing I’d ever seen in my life but apparently *that* confused people, and you know hey that’s fair I guess, but I mean Nolan did a whooooole lot of audience hand-holding in that film, I mean, the dialogue was terrible. There was so much unnecessary exposition, which I generally find in all of his films, so if an audience can’t follow that then OK sure, Lynch is going to be a problem.

The thing is popcorn cinema is totally OK. I watch it. I really love it, I’ve written about it before, it’s good Industry. There’s a lot of great creativity in popular cinema, I don’t at all think poorly of it and I love seeing a really well produced, Hollywood picture... but I guess if that’s all you consume, and I guess if folks’ short-format episodic media (aka series - think Netflix, HVO etc.) is more or less to the same standard, then it begins to make sense that anything outside of that isn’t going to make sense.

Long story short - Lynch films tell simple stories where the feeling of the film is as important as the narrative of the film. To understand the story, you have to understand the feeling, and vice-versa.

Surprise surprise, it turns out independent and deemed “fringe” film-makers... aka Outsiders... make films about Outsiders.

Now I wouldn’t know if any of the Marvel films thematically are about Outsiders or Outsider culture, they probably are and very loudly at that, but the reason I’ve never included one in my catalogue of moods is they all read the same way. Not only are Marvel films mostly indistinct from one other to me, they’re also mostly indistinct from much of popular culture in general. That doesn’t make them bad, some of them still have some pretty awesome stunts, visfx, even parts of the narratives, funny jokes etc. in them, but on the whole they’re not useful to me as things I deem truly valuable in the long-term.

It’s OK, I’m not at all going to lament the proliferation of Marvel films, a lot of them have been pretty cool and they keep people in work. Meow meow meow “the death of cinema” mate, sure - I find it more difficult to find the sorts of films I like but that’s always been the case. Humans will do what they do, it’s not a read on cinema, it’s about being an Outsider and what that’s all about. True, maybe weird shit like Lynch and Noe might be more difficult to make, but the weird-indie corner was also dominated by white men and that needs to change, so who knows what the future holds.

Can you detect the point at which I took my meds and started getting tired?

Ghost in the Shell // Innocence // What We Want // What We’re Left With

Growing up as an Outsider, I feel as tho the first Ghost in the Shell film carries the weight of isolation, questions of identity and belonging, ultimately of acceptance, empowerment and liberation. Then Innocence brings to bear very similar moods but states that things may not necessarily change for the better, they simply change state. I love that in both narratives, the main texts of hacking or corrupt corporations, crime etc. are the least common denominators and barely relevant to heart of the films. I think about the theme of icons in Innocence, icons operatively being the dolls throughout the film, and the final image of Togusa’s daughter’s gift. As humans we assume we’re to take the position of biological humanity as representative of sentience, taking moral priority over all other beings. Earlier in the film we think Togusa is in limbo, but  at the conclusion Motoko asks the question, or perhaps states that perhaps we’re all in limbo together.

I think that’s a significant part of what growing up as and being an Outsider is like, what it feels like. Christians have this saying about “living in the world but not of the world” (derived from a bible verse) and honestly I don’t think they know what it means because they just operate like a cult, but I think queers and folks with long term mental health conditions have a better idea. We are pushed out to the fringes of our social groups from an early age, long before we know or understand what’s different about us. Our peers and the adults around us do this to us because their social behaviours are so well hard-coded, even they may not even know precisely what’s different about us, they just do - and they’re right. We are different. And they don’t accept us.

Maybe I am starting to get a little more upset that weird/different art is becoming more difficult to fund and make, because it’s for us, for me. It speaks to me. You already have so much, and representation and inclusion is so important. I don’t just need queer cinema, I need weird cinema, I need moods. I need quiet, introspective, pensive, reflective, Outsider moods.

I still feel like an Outsider. I have a few people who understand more about me, but I don’t think I have a place, not in a real sense. I have never felt that. Art is one of the few places I feel any connection with anything, and connecting with people is a very odd thing to consider - honestly, I actually would really like to connect with people but the unique combination of being queer *and* autistic comorbid with bipolar makes it really tough, more difficult the older I get. And now all you want to do is fund Marvel movies. I can’t feed off of that.

I’m getting tired, I’m not making any sense. It’s time for bed.

[mccoy-says-yalldve]

my neighbor is running heavy y machinery at 5:15 in the morning so here's my rating of a few popular star trek ships from TOS, AOS, TNG, DS9, and DISC.

Spock/Kirk

10/10 I ship it. It has a long and glorious history, and there's just so much homoeroticism in TOS. They stare at each other so freaking much. Also the hand thing. Plus, even if you don't see it as romantic, they definitely could be a queerplatonic relationship. Gene Roddenberry himself said Spock thinks they're soulmates sooooo yea.

Kirk/McCoy

10/10. While Kirk and McCoy may not have had quite the level of heart eyes that Spock/Kirk did, they vibe really well together. They've also got a great friendship in AOS, despite JJ Abrams kinda mangling everyone's character.

Spock/McCoy

9/10. It loses a point because of how often McCoy called him a hobgoblin. Their frenemies like relationship reminds me a lot of me and one of my friends.

Scotty/Uhura

7/10. I see this one mentioned a lot in fics and I just don't see it. It's a good ship, people do a good job writing it, but I personally don't ship it.

Spock/Uhura (AOS only)

4/10. I do not approve. They just. No. Why. Who's decision was this? They don't go well together in TOS so why were they together in AOS?? Also did they get together while she was his student or after? Because l have more opinions depending on the answer.

Sulu/Chekov (AOS only)

4/10. I've only seen this in AOS fics and I have objections. Chekov is 17 in the first movie and while Sulu's age is unknown, his general accepted year of birth is 2237 which would put him at about 21 during the first movie. That's only a fourish year age difference so, after the events of the first movie? I'll accept it. They've got a good vibe, I can see it. But during academy era or the events of the first movie?? Absolutely not. And guess which one I see more of.

Picard/Q

12/10 it's hilarious. It's a total enemies to lovers trope and I am here for it. I can just see like, Picard slowly warming up to Q but refusing to acknowledge that and Q slowly falling for human and at first being like wtf but then wholeheartedly accepting it and annoying the shit out of Picard with like thousands of rose bouquets.

Data/Geordi

10/10. I haven't seen this in very many fics but I've loved it in the ones I have. I've also seen a fair bit of fanart for them here on tumblr and it's honestly adorable. They would make a great couple.

Riker/Troi

10/10. They're cute. They're a canon couple I like and that doesn't happen often. They had a good arc in TNG and seemed pretty happy together in Picard.

Jadzia/Worf

9/10. I'm getting into territory I don't entirely know here cause I've only seen a few episodes of DS9 but I have seen quite a bit of content about them on tumblr and they seem like a good match. The fanart is cute at least.

Garak/Bashir

8/10. I sincerely hope I spelled those right and got the right characters. Again, I've really only seen fanart and incorrect quotes on tumblr but they seem like a good couple.

Michael/Mirror Georgiou

10/10. Definite enemies to lovers trope and while canon has been a bit shitty at addressing that, some of the fics explore the nature of their relationship so well, it's just like, amazing. There is so much potential and everything and I just love it. I love it. 10/10.

Michael/Tilly

10/10. Adorable. Freaking adorable. Tilly is adorable and she and Michael are like perfect together. Don't tell me you can't see Michael and Tilly on a date where Tilly is excitedly talking about the latest project in engineering and Michael is just listening and watching her with a soft smile. Small kisses in the turbolift on the way to work. Cuddling in their room after the alpha shift. Michael encouraging Tilly every time she feels like she can't do the command track. Just everything about them is like, yes. Make it canon, please.

Michael/Pike

7/10. Why are there so many Michael ships. Anyways. I could not see this one at all until I read a few fics with them and then rewatched a few episodes of season 2. There's definitely a dynamic there that I like, but I don't think it would last even in a timeline where they didn't have to go to the future. Pike would be going back to the Enterprise and I can't see Michael leaving Discovery for him. Long distance relationships can work, yes, but we're talking millions and millions of miles of space and they wouldn't even meet up often on shore leave because Enterprise and Discovery have entirely different missions. I like the ship, I just don't think they would easily stay together long term.

Kayla/Owo

10/10 yes. They work really well together. I haven't read many fics so I can't give an in depth analysis but I definitely ship it.

Okay that's it. I haven't seen season 3 of DISCO yet btw, so any new characters or ships, I don't know about. And these aren't all the ships I know or like by any means, just a few of the more popular ones I see on ao3 and tumblr.

[kitanoko]

In which the doctor meets his match Part 4!!

Note: I haven’t updated this since Sept 2018....y’all thought you seen the last of me HAHA. Finally, things are building up ....... shinsou is also going to meet todoroki EVENTUALLY ~

Read Part 1 here

Read Part 2 here

Read Part 3 here

Warm.

That was the only thing Yaoyorozu could think of when he shook her hands and laid a gaze that lingered on her luscious, mascara-coated lashes a second too long. She unknowingly scratched little circles on the hardcover of her lacquered folder when she looked up and saw the way he’d run his hand through his hair as the two walked out of the meeting room.

It was habit that she had come to notice Todoroki would do whenever he was about to say something but hesistates. A feeling stirred inside her and her arm tensed. It was definitely Aizawa sensei’s fault for making the atmosphere so….strange now, Yaoyorozu thought. She’s going to his office straight away after to demand an explanation!

The receptionist immediately dropped whatever she was doing when the two closed the meeting door, her eyes directing at the white and red haired man. Yaoyorozu knew the receptionist was checking the doctor out and she rolled her eyes.

The elevator slid open after a short while and Todoroki waved a goodbye. He entered, hands naturally smoothing out the bottom of his suit, and pressed the door to ground floor. Yaoyorozu, catching his teeny smile the second before the door fully closed, mirrored his gesture and hugged the newly signed contract to her chest even more as if protecting it.

Yaoyorozu had agreed to conduct a site visit this Saturday (which was sort of silly since she could go to his clinic right now if she wanted to) and cradled the papers in her hand even closer to her heart.

“So he signed?” A voice rose behind her with a teasing tone and she turned to see Aizawa crossing his arms, shifting his body weight on the wall beside him. The smirk that had formed on his face wrinkled his jaw. Yaoyorozu huffed, making sure to be conspicuously annoyed.

“Yes he did sensei…but I cannot believe you! You came in and made it so awkward!”

Aizawa’s smirk did not fade. “I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like Shinsou.”

At the mention of their rival’s name, Yaoyorozu scrunched her nose. She playfully slapped her mentor’s arm, a tint of pink highlighting her cheeks, and huffed again, earning her a light chuckle from the man.

Just three weeks ago, the aforementioned Shinsou showed up at their doorstep, asking to speak with her. Yaoyorozu was slightly weary –after all, they have never worked together before (and he’d always convince her to quit Erase) but figured if he was coming for an alleged business opportunity, she’d better hold onto the chance. The potential client was a millionaire who wanted to design a chain of malls he had just acquired. Shinsou, being the sole designer in his growing firm, decided to seek help from Erase. Yaoyorozu respected his humbleness and ambition and so had agreed to meet him.

Their discussion was great and from it she learnt a lot about Shinsou’s character. He was overall quite quiet, lips always in a thin line, and hair always disheveled (reminded her a lot of Aizawa to be frank). It was hard reading his expressions. Despite this, deep down, Yaoyorozu knew Shinsou’s passion for design shown through his work. The way he’d use his words to paint a beautiful picture of the planned end product was admirable. Yaoyorozu decided that Shinsou was no doubt a talent that she could learn from. Unfortunately, the deal busted and so they had to terminate the contract. Aizawa began to tease her about Shinsou ever since; he suspected there was something ‘blossoming’ between them but of course Yaoyorozu would scoff every time.

It had bothered her however. Recalling that every time Shinsou had come, Aizawa and the former would always politely greet each other but something about the conversations between them had displayed a familiarity between the two. Yaoyorozu never asked but she had a feeling they had known each other for a long time.

“….I knew you’d bring it up.” Yaoyorozu said, walking beside her mentor.

“Hey, I’m not the one who’s getting phone calls from that guy still.”

“Shinsou and I are STRICTLY business. ONLY.” She emphasized, raising her index finger. Yaoyorozu had met Shinsou for dinner once (on friendly terms) but she wasn’t going to let anyone know that other than her best friends. Aizawa shrugged.

“There’s no conflict of interest by the way, just looking out for my favourite student!”

“Oh please…curl back up in your worm suit and take a nap to rewire your mind.” Yaoyorozu stuck her tongue out childishly at her mentor and took a step towards her desk. She sat down and kicked off her heels and changed to her Tory Burch flats. “Feel free to ask admin to stock up on the white chip macademia cookies in the pantry, I may need some sugar for the weekend.”

Aizawa saw the spark in her eyes. “Sure, you got it,” he said and left.

Yaoyorozu licked her bottom lip and stretched, curling her toes inside her shoes. Cracking her knuckles, she straightened herself in her ergonomic chair.

The designer was starting this project with a bang.

~~

“So?” Kendou asked. She walked over to the table next to the couch to stack the Elle magazines back into a neat pile. “The designer’s going to come in on Saturday, when?”

The sun was setting, casting shadows over Kendou’s perfect bright ponytail and the streets were beginning to fill with crowds of the after-work drinking group. There were quite a few hang out dens  around this area which was something that benefitted Todoroki. He’d often meet up with his longtime friends after his shift.

Todoroki cracked his neck and leaned over the counter with a mug in hand. He was now back in his suit which had cracked Kendou right up because of their contrast. She was wearing an Ivy Park tank with leggings while he looked like he was ready to hit up a gala.

“She’s free any time but I told her to come at 3 since we’d be done by then.”

“Okay, sounds good. Any idea what it’s gonna look like after?”

“It’ll be traditional Japanese-inspired, something I’ve thought about since before our latest renovation.”

“Which may I remind you was only a year ago.”

“Right.”

Kendou cocked a brow, strolling back the other way to grab the purse locked under the front desk. “So what made you suddenly feel like we needed a makeover again? I don’t think we ever got to that.”

The doctor took a sip of his drink, avoiding eye contact.

“There’s never a bad time to make our patients feel at home you know.”

That answer was awfully suspect but Kendou knew there was no point in interrogating the doctor about it. The clinic is his after all and no one but him would know how he wanted to envision the place.

The girl looped her arm through the handles of her canvas bag. “May I also remind you that I doubt anyone’s homes look like a ryokan except for yours?”

Todoroki gave a chuckle, lips resting to a small smile. He looked almost proud. “Yes of course. I guess I wanted to make sure the patients feel like they’re at my home, alright?”

Kendou laughed. “Making jokes now are we? You’re in a chipper mood, doctor. I’m heading out. Tetstutetsu and I are getting yakitori so I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

“See ya.”

With that the orange haired girl hopped out of the clinic with a skip in her steps.

Todoroki’s shoulders slumped a little when he turned his gaze back to the front desk. His eyes landed on a nearby medical poster and he curled his fingers around his mug once more. The office was silent except for the bustle of people’s laughter and chitter seeping through the door and he casually strolled over to switch off all the lights on his right.

The phone beside the mug began to shake and vibrate, then ‘X gon give it to ya’ started booming from it. Todoroki’s brow twitched a little seeing his screen brightening.

It was Bakugou.

“Yea?” Todoroki answered in a monotone voice, lifting his phone to his ear, “What’s up.”

“I hate hearing your voice too, half-n-half,” Bakugou grunted.

Todoroki exhaled a little, chuckling, “Need me for something?”

“No..well yes. But no, not me. Harry Potter says he’s planning a surprise party for his girlfriend uh…you know, what’s her face. Purple hair girl. He wanna check if ya can come with. I don’t wanna go but I will just because I’m feeling generous.”

“What a sacrifice,” Todoroki retorted, pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder, “When is it?”

“This Saturday.”

Todoroki thought for a bit. If Yaoyorozu came around 3:30, he’d be able to make it.

“Sure.” The doctor grabbed his mug and swallowed the last drop of Milo, “Who’s going and when’d you become Kaminari’s secretary.”

Bakugou cursed into the phone. “Fcking bitch is having a panic attack about his cake or whatever that sludge he’s baking. Fcking even gave him the recipe and helped him with most of it and he can’t even squeeze icing properly.”

“You? Baking?” Todoroki said incredulously, “Never thought I’d see the day when you’d bake.”

“For your record, I can fcking C O O K.”

“Yea, I definitely know now.”

Todoroki heard a weensy bit of Kaminari’s whining at the back and Bakugou grunted again.

“Bring some peeps if you want, the dolt over there wanna fill up the apartment, though it shouldn’t be that fcking hard since it’s a two by two square.”

Todoroki gave a half-hearted hum. “I’ll think about it. But tell him I’ll be there.”

“K, bye.” And with that Bakugou hung up. Todoroki stuffed the phone back into his pocket. Walking to the bathroom, Todoroki rinsed his mug in the sink. His reflection caught his attention, seeing his Tom Ford suit reminded him of Erase.

Yaoyorozu.

He eyed the ceiling a bit and back to the mirror in front of him. Fixing his collar with a tug, a thought sprang like ripples on water.

He wondered, would it be crazy to invite her to Jirou’s party?

~~

“JIROU, IM GOING TO PLAY THE MOVIE!!” Ashido’s shrill voice startled Yaoyorozu and the latter quickly turned to her friend.

“We have ears you know.”

Ashido gave a small ‘hehe’ and Jirou snarled at her when she appeared behind the couch. “And some of us have REALLY sensitive hearing.”

“Sorry, just making sure you don’t miss anything. I love this movie!”

The three were chilling together in Yaoyorozu’s house with fuzzy pyjamas and slippers. The fleece blanket that Yaoyorozu so adored fell across Ashido’s lap and Jirou plopped a bowl of popcorn overloaded with butter between them.

“Extra extra greasy?” Ashido said as she stuffed a bunch of popcorn in her mouth and Jirou repeated after her.

“Yes, extra extra greasy. I’m scared for all our arteries.”

“Just do 3 laps tomorrow and you’ll burn it all out.”

This was the designer’s usual entertainment, her friends’ constant bickering.

“….or we could ask Dr. Todoroki for some advice.”

At his name, Yaoyorozu coughed out half-chewed kernels, eyes watering. Jirou quickly handed her water, though her hands were shaking from laughing at Yaoyorozu’s immediate reaction.

“Oh, so now we can’t even MENTION his name?” Ashido guffawed, kicking her legs up and down as the movie’s opening song began to fill the air.

Yaoyorozu squinted her eyes. “I’m going to kick you guys out if you keep at it.”

“Ashido started it!”

“No I didn’t! WAIT SHH the movie!”

Jirou tottered her legs on the couch for a bit as Shrek 2 began and stood up, “Wait can you pause, I have to go washroom.”

The pink-haired girl flicked a popcorn at her and licked her fingers before reaching for the remote. “Ugh why didn’t you go earlier. Fine, we’ll wait.”

When they heard Jirou slide the door to a close, Ashido quickly leaned over to the designer who was leisurely skimming through ASOS.

“Ohh! That top’s really cute Yaomomo! But wait I need to tell you something.”

Yaoyorozu reeled over at her friend who was acting suspicious as if she had a secret and put down her phone.

“What is it?” She asked confounded.

“Kaminari and I are planning Jirou’s surprise Birthday, it’s going to be Saturday.”

“Oh sounds fun! Where?”

“It’ll be at his place, can you bring some snacks?”

Yaoyorozu grinned, “Of course I can. Anything else you guys need help with?”

Ashido twirled at lock of hair playfully. “Nope I think we’re all good. Show up at 7, we’ll all hide and wait for Kami to bring her in.“

“I have a client to see right before but I should be there on time.”

Seeing the way her friends’ eyes glistened, Yaoyorozu could tell she knew who ‘the client’ was.

“Oh…come on, bring the doctor.”

“What! I’ve only talked to him twice. That’s absurd. He would think I’m interested in him.”

“Hey, all relationships starts off with friendship of some degree. Fine, bring Shinsou then.”

Yaoyorozu rolled her eyes, “No and no.”

“Aww…come on…we need some hotties in the room, well other than us of course.” Ashido burst out giggling at her own humour, “I did hear that Kaminari’s bringing a bunch of his friends over so it’ll be sooo much fun, I can’t ---“

“WAIT..she’s back!” Yaoyorozu whispered and the two girls quickly retrograded to their previous positions. Jirou walked in, not suspecting a thing.

“So ready for some Shrek?” Ashido asked, reaching out for the glass of lemonade slicked with condensation. It was a good thing Yaoyorozu and her had fast reflexes.

Jirou jumped back onto the couch, “Yup, ya betcha!”

~~

Watching her work so precisely and meticulously, he found himself feeling as though he was intruding. Yaoyorozu was prisoned in focus – perhaps in her own world where nothing mattered except to make her designs come to life.

The doctor was curious, careful eyes admiring how she’d measure every obscure thing in his office. Every angle should direct the audience to a certain highlight, Yaoyorozu had explained. He just nodded as if he understood.

Todoroki made sure to give her enough space so she can do her work.

“Mm, maybe if I put that over here…” The designer muttered to herself, tapping her chin. Forming dialogues in her head while working was a habit of hers.

Todoroki noticed Kendou mindlessly wiping her computer monitor, but the receptionist’s gaze was towards the designer.

“If you keep that up, your monitor’s going to break.”

Kendou snapped out of it and smiled sheepishly.

“It’s after hours, you can go you know.”

“Oh I know,” Kendou said, now directing her gaze at him. She walked closer and whispered, hand cupping her mouth slightly. “I remember her now. She’s gorgeous, I can’t believe she’s so talented as well. Ugh, look at her dress, I want that sense of fashion.”

Todoroki shifted his attention to the designer. Yaoyorozu was donning a tight crew neck black top with an A-line skirt painted with bright patterns. Her hair was up in her usual pony tail though it looked curlier than usual. Large round hoops hung on her ears, glinting gold, while the watch she had on was one with classic black leather straps.

“Hm.” Was all Todoroki said.

Kendou huffed. “Oh you boys don’t know what fashion is.”

The doctor ignored her snarky comment, hands shoved back into his pockets and began to walk over to the woman who was now packing up her materials.

“So, I assume everything’s done?”

Yaoyorozu swiveled around, finding herself staring into gunmetal and cyan. His minty breath too close.

“Um---“She ended up stuttering, taking a step back, “Yes, almost! I’ve got what I need for the most part, I will be coming back quite often however. What’s your schedule? I’d suggest 2 months of closure so by mid-October at the latest?”

“That sounds good.”

The clock on the wall read exactly 5 p.m. and the designer found herself feeling relieved. Plenty of time for her to go back home and freshen up before the party. Kendou was now waving her goodbyes and heading out, leaving the two lost for words at each other’s company.

Todoroki rested a hand on his neck, scratching the area right around the nape and exhaled.

“Are you busy tonight?”

The woman puckered her lip.

“Tonight? I have plans with my friends.”

“…I see.” His chest sank, though keeping his voice light. Nonetheless the woman could sense the disappointment.

“Is there something you wanted to do? If you want to talk about the project, I’d be happy to discuss.”

Todoroki shook his head, the little pieces of white hair hanging right between his brows. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh.”

Things went quiet between them again. The rustle of Yaoyorozu’s purse that squished between her arm was the only distraction before the designer decided to head off.

“Thanks, I’ll see you—“

“Soon.” He finished for her in haste and meekly smiled at his outward response. Yaoyorozu reciprocated the gesture before the phone in her purse began to vibrate.

“Sorry I have to take this.” The woman said, pushing open the door. She added cheerily, “Bye doctor!” With a wink she left, the last sound of her heels’ clicking echoing away.

Though he was slightly disgruntled at his failed attempt to invite her to Jirou’s party, Todoroki’s heart skipped a beat. Not that it was his first time hearing anyone call him doctor. But what was it that made her saying it so….enticing?

[iamwhoiamtmblr]

Title: Remember Who You Are

Story Rating: Chapter 12 – 18+ Warnings: Fluff, mention of smut, mention of masturbation, language Relationships: Nomad Steve Rogers x Reader; Steve Rogers x Reader; Dark Steve Rogers x Reader

I’ve decided to tell the story from the point of view from both Steve and the Reader. Tell the both sides of the story. The main villain is being introduced gradually. I’m referring to her as “Mistress” for now. Other characters will also be introduced as the story progresses, one an OFC.

Master List - Links to Other Chapters

***My work is to not be posted on any other site without my permission. If you see it anywhere other than Tumblr please inform me***

(FLASHBACK 1st date)

The afternoon session was a grueling workout. Hand to hand combat training was intense. Thankfully you had martial arts training in the past so you were used to the tactics and speed. Still it was painful. Getting kicked in the stomach several times and getting your legs swept out from underneath you had you on guard. Captain America evaluated everyone, making notes on what each agent needed more training with. The “asshole” Peter tried to punch you in the face. Steve came up behind him and threw him against the wall. “Never leave your back open, you could get killed.” Peter was taken aback. Part of you was shocked Steve did that but you were happy he did. Peter was arrogant enough to think he was perfect. Steve knocked his arrogance down a peg or two. “Alright everyone, that’s enough for today. 4 hours is enough.”

Leaving the locker room, you are anxious to go home. Tired and sore, you make your way to your car. “Excuse me, (Y/N)?” You jump and spin around to see Steve behind you. “Holy crap you scared me!” “Sorry, didn’t mean to.” “Yes?” “How did you make out today?” “Ok, I guess, sore & tired” you smile. “Too tired for dinner?” “Ummm, no” – you blush. “How about 8:00? I’ll pick you up” “Sure, I’ll be ready.” “I’ll see you then.”  Steve walked away smiling.

You turn and get inside your car, waiting for Steve to walk away out of sight. “What the hell just happened?” He asked you out! Dinner? You rush home as fast as you legally drive!

You sighed. “What do I wear?”  “Where are we going?” “Why did he ask me out?” Butterflies were in your stomach.

After showering, you put your make-up on and you put your hair done up in a fancy bun. You open your closet door. You must have tried on every outfit you have at least twice.

Finally selecting a not too extravagant black little dress; simple but elegant. You look at the clock, 7:55, you were nervous and shaking. One of America’s greatest heroes, who was not bad looking by the way, was on his way to pick you up. “Why me?”

Falling into a daydream, a knock at the door makes you come to your senses. Trying not to show your nervousness, you answer the door to find Steve standing in jeans, leather jacket, crisp white shirt, holding a bouquet of purple roses. You realize your overdress. “Hi Steve.” “Wow, you look great.” You blush. “I’m overdressed huh.” “Well, we are going to dinner on my bike so yea I think so.” He smiles. “ok, brb”

You run back to your bedroom grabbing a pink blouse and jeans. You let your hair down; the helmet wouldn’t fit over your up-do. You pause, looking into the mirror. You try to calm yourself, counting to 30. You head back to the door. “Ok, ready.” “Thank you for the flowers by the way. I love purple roses. They’re my favorite.” “I know.” Steve blushes. (He blushes too!)

Going out of the front doors of your apartment building, you and Steve ride on his Harley.  Arriving at the restaurant which was a casual diner, you and Steve enjoyed light hearted conversation and “Home-cooked Meal” as he put it. (Meat and potatoes kind of place).

He suggests going for a walk on a nearby walking trail. Immediately after getting off the bike 🏍 he quickly takes your hand. You blush. His hand is strong as he holds you with a firm grip. Almost afraid to let go. You both walk for quite a while. Talking about this & that. His life since coming out of the ice. He wants to know about you. You tell him of the heartbreak you suffered as a child. Losing your parents at an early age, thankfully your grandmother took you in. She was a cop 👮‍♀️. You admired her strength so you decided to be one to, except your a SHIELD agent now. Steve realizes you both are have gone through a hard life. He holds your hand tighter. His eyes show love and compassion. He smiles at you. “Dessert? Ice cream?” You nod. You and Steve go for a drive around town, stopping at an ice cream shack near the bus station, not far from the city center. “Are you enjoying yourself? You’re awful quiet now.” – (Steve) “Yes.” you smile. “I guess I’m nervous.” “About what?” You didn’t want to tell him the truth that you were nervous about the date so you made something up. “My first mission.” “You and the other recruits are almost finished your required training. Hopefully soon you’ll be out in the field soon. The 2 weeks are almost up.” “How are we doing?” “Umm… not bad, but I think you’ll do ok.” He smiles. Steve looks at his watch, “Time to go, I have a mission briefing in the morning.” You nod, too nervous to say anything else. The ride back to your apartment went by way too fast. Having your arms around Steve felt like you belonged there. Getting off the bike, you turn to Steve. “Thank you for dinner.” “Your welcome, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stops, reaches for your chin and lightly kisses you. You blush as Steve rides off into the night. “Wonder how tomorrow will go?” you sigh. You walk into your apartment and plop down on the bed. You can’t believe what happened. He kissed you. You had a hard time to fall asleep wondering what will happen next.

Steve drove away as happy as he could be. He kissed you. It was a start. His heart started to feel alive again. He didn’t expect to fall in love after Peggy. He tried dating but most women weren’t his type or they just wanted to be with “Captain America”. He thought you were special to capture his heart. He didn’t want to scare you so he ended the night.

In fact he lied about the meeting. He knew if you were in presence any longer, he would take you home with him. He wanted you in his arms tonight, crushing you beneath him in his bed moaning his name as he fucked you senseless over and over again. Never wanting to let you go or let you out of his bed. His lust and desire for you matched the hardness in his jeans. He’ll satisfy himself when he gets home. He sighed. He told himself to be patient. That first day you met, he noticed there was something special about you; your smile. It was warm and inviting which matched your soul. He fell in love with you fast, head over heels so to speak. He’d hope you’d fall in love with him. He wanted to take it slow but he was scared someone else would try to date you instead. He did the same thing as you; he had a hard time to fall asleep wondering what will happen next.

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I welcome any feedback; negative or positive and reblogs 😊❤ 

[starlight-drive-in]

A Night Out

A Saeran x MC Mystic Messenger one shot fanfiction

Word count: 4470

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MC's friends invite her and Saeran out for a night of dancing and drink at a local club. The night goes somewhat smoothly until Saeran finds MC on the receiving end of some unwanted attention.

Remember the version of Saeran we get at the end of day 9? The one that's not Ray, or the good end Saeran but not quite the Suit! Saeran MC had been dealing with either? I wanted to explore that version of Saeran a little more. He's still rough, he doesn't know how this stuff works, he doesn't know how to be soft but he greatly regrets what he did to MC and knows he will do anything to protect her. Whether that means staying away from her as he promises in the route or in this case, coming to her rescue.

This fic is written in the same "universe" and with the same characters as my fic "First Impressions" but can be read as a standalone work.

AO3 Link (refer here for tags/warnings)

---

I totally forgot to cross post this here the other day. 

I took a break from my multi-chapter fics to finally get this idea that's been in my head forever down on paper -er- screen? It ended up taking longer and being longer than I thought it would. I really hope you enjoy it! -- MC sits idly at her and Saeran’s kitchen table, sipping her morning coffee and catching up on both the RFA chatroom logs and the group chat she has with her friends from before the RFA. The RFA seems up to the usual, Jumin and Jaehee are on their way to work, Zen’s already back from his morning run and Seven, Jihyun and Yoosung have yet to appear - probably sleeping in a bit. As for Saeran, he ran out to the store after realizing he was missing an ingredient for breakfast and even though MC insisted it was ok he, of course, had to keep his promise of crepes for breakfast he had made her the night before.

She switches to her other friends’ group chat, which seems to be a little busier.

Minji: “Work is kicking my ass this week. I could really use a night out.”

Youngmi: “Friday? The old club? Jinwo you in? Help your girl de-stress?”

Jinwo: “Sounds good’

Youngmi: “MC? You and Saeran in?”

MC stares at her screen apprehensively as she takes another sip of coffee.

MC: “Idk guys, it’s been a loooong time since I’ve been out like that.”

Youngmi: “Yea, ok so even more reason to go.”

MC: “I’ll have to see what Saeran says when he gets home, I doubt he’s ever been to a club.”

Jinwo: “You know that guy would do anything for you! I’m sure he’d be willing to give it a shot.”

“Ya got me there,” MC says aloud to no one while typing her response.

MC: “I’ll let you guys know.”

MC sighs into her coffee, contemplating. It’s not that she doesn’t want to go out with her friends and Saeran, she does. In fact, she’d love to dance the night away with some of her favorite people and especially with Saeran. But, she’s not sure if he’d be up for all the noise, the people, the loud music. She understands how intimidating that could be for him. She groans, conflicted.

A light touch on her shoulder jolts her out of her thoughts “What’s wrong, Angel?” Saeran asks concerned.

“Holy shit you scared me, I didn’t even hear you come in!” MC exclaims, startled. He smiles apologetically while unpacking the grocery bag. “How was the store?”

“Good! I got everything I need so I can finally make those crepes I promised you!” He smiles sweetly.

“You know you didn't have to go get all that, we could have just had cereal baby.”

“But then I’d be breaking a promise!” he says, kissing her forehead before turning toward the kitchen. She follows him, hoping he’ll at least allow her to help.

“So what were you thinking about when I got home? You seemed really stressed about something,” he asks again.

There’s no hiding from him, she might as well just come out and tell him. “Well… Youngmi, Jinwo, and Minji want to to go to the club this weekend and… they wanted to know if we wanted to go with them?”

“Like a dance club?”

“Yea, we used to go there in college but I haven't been there in a while, I completely understand if you don’t want to go though! It’s loud, there’s going to be a lot of people there and I wouldn't want you to get overwhelmed or anything and…”

“I’ll go!” he interrupts

She stares at him for a minute, surprised he welcomed the idea so quickly. “A-are you sure? I promise I won’t be offended or angry if you don’t want to.”

“N-no, no I want to go! I want to try new things, especially if it’s something you enjoy.” He turns to her and gently strokes her cheek, “I want to experience everything with you.”

She can’t even attempt to hide the smile that covers her face in an instant, she leans into his touch, blushing. “Then, it’s a date.” He smiles back at her before turning to mix the crepe batter.

------

The end of the week has arrived. MC goes all out on her look, excited for a night out after so long. A lot has changed since the last time she went out with Minji and Youngmi but their friendship had stayed the same. She smiles in the mirror as she applies her fake eyelashes, the finishing touch on her look she had chosen from a slew of make-up tutorials on Metube. She styles her hair into large voluminous curls. How long has it been since she’s done it this way?

She wears a skin-tight black sheath dress that has a subtle sparkle to it when she moves, along with a pair of tall yet comfortable heels she’s had for years. A simple black choker adorns her neck and a pair of large hoop earrings dangle from her ears.

She takes a long took at herself in the mirror - as well as a couple selfies before a light knock at the door pulls her from her private photoshoot.

“Can I come in?” Saeran asks calmly from the hallway “I need to do my hair.”

“Yup! You’re good!” She shouts.

He opens the door to find her bent slightly over the sink, applying a lip gloss and stops in the doorway as she turns to face him.

“So, what do you think?” She asks him, doing a little twirl so he can see the sparkles on her dress.

His eyes sweep over her form, she looks stunning. She always does of course but wow, the way the dress hugged all her perfect curves, the way her long brown hair swayed as she turned. He still wasn’t sure if he believed in a god or not but if there was one then he’d have to thank them for the fact that this beauty - this absolute goddess - was his.

“Y-you look…” how was he even supposed to put into words how much her appearance floored him? She looks at him expectantly. “Wow.” is all he says but the way he says it so breathlessly with a look of complete speechlessness on his face is more than enough to satisfy her.

She smiles, “Not too bad there yourself, handsome.” She says closing the few strides between them and taking in his crisp deep pink button-down shirt, black fade wash jeans and shiny leather boots as well as a belt to match. He has his sleeves rolled up neatly to his elbows and the top few buttons have been left undone affording her a peek at his collarbone and chest. Something else seems different about him too.

“Are you wearing eyeliner?” She ask, impressed.

“Maybe a little.” He admits.

“Well you look amazing, I’d kiss you but I’d get gloss on your lips.” She says apologetically.

So he kisses her instead, “What’s a little more makeup?” he chuckles as he rubs his lips together, spreading the gloss. “Hey wait a minute, since when are you taller than me?” he asks looking up at her just slightly.

“Since I put these heels on?”

He looks down at her feet, “Ok, yes. That would explain it, you’ll be ok in those? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Nah! I’ll be fine baby, don’t worry! These are my trusty clubbing heels! Comfort and style!” She says, posing dramatically.

“Yea… you’ve been hanging out with Saeyoung waaaay too much,” He replies jokingly rolling his eyes.

“Oh! You know what? He probably knows the best place to get comfortable heels!”

“You’re… probably right.” Saeran admits, while he combs the knots out of his curly waves, “You should ask him about it.”

“I will! But not tonight, tonight is about you and me dancing our asses off… plus a couple friends.”

“You realize, I’ve never danced... like that, right?” He asks.

“Have you danced at all?” She inquires, trying to picture any version of him getting his groove on amongst strobe lights.

“At Mint Eye, we sometimes had parties for holidays and such so I know a little ballroom, but somehow I don't think that's going to help me out tonight.”

“Is that why you were always so dressed up?” She mutters mostly to herself, “But yea, not so much. No worries! Just follow my lead, it shouldn’t be too hard to get the hang of?” She hopes.

If he’s nervous he’s definitely not showing it. She thinks to herself watching her boyfriend check himself in the mirror one last time before following her out of the bathroom.

---

The five of them arrive at the club successfully and excitedly. Well, for the most part at least. It seems that after leaving the comfort and safety of their apartment, Saeran realized the full weight of exactly where they were going. And - if his leg bobbing continuously throughout their Uber ride here has been any indication - he was now feeling the nervousness that MC had expected from him earlier. She had given him a concerned look, but he shook it off and smiled reassuringly.

Nevertheless, they were there. Steady, up-beat rhythms pulsed while the five of them crossed over the threshold and into the club. MC, Youngmi and Minji shared a look and squeed excitedly as if they were telepathically connected that Jinwo and Saeran were left out of before they headed off to the bar.

“What was that?” Saeran asks Jinwo loudly over the sound of the music.

“Dude, I couldn't tell you if I tried. They’ve been friends so long they just kinda know what each other are thinking sometimes.” He answers as the two of them follow the girls.

“I guess I can understand that.” Saeran shrugs catching up to MC at the bar just in time for her to turn around with two drinks in her hand. She hands him one. “This is my favorite drink ever and you have to try it. Plus, if you don’t like it I get two!”

Saeran smiles and takes the sip offered to him before taking the glass out of his hand. The drink tastes fruity and sweet and he understands why it's her favorite.

“You like it?!” She asks excitedly. He smiles and nods, thinking how cute it is that she is happy to share something new with him and he’s all too happy to oblige her, each new thing he learns about her is a treasure to him, even something as trivial as this.

It’s now that he turns to fully take in his surroundings. As promised, the club is busy and will probably only get busier as the night goes on. The music is loud and thumps in his chest, it's a little intimidating, and a little exciting as well. A lot of people are dancing; pairs and groups of friends, couples. The way the couples dance though - gyrating and grinding on each other. His cheeks take on a dusting of pink just thinking about other people seeing him doing that with MC. What would her friends think of him? But then again, what would be like, having her on him like that? They were no strangers to a bit of PDA here and then but this, this was something completely different. Did she dance like that? Did she want him to dance like that?!

His conflicted mind runs back and forth between how nice it would be and how absolutely terrifying it would be. What if he messed up? What if he did it wrong? What if he made a fool of himself in front of her and her friends and all these other people who seemed to know exactly what they were doing?

“Come on babe,” MC takes his hand and leads him around the perimeter of the crowd. “Jinwo got us a table.”

The table is more of a half-circle couch with a coffee table, the five sit down and get comfortable as they sip their first drinks of the night. Saeran’s anxiety fizzles away a bit as he sips his drink and gets settled in - his arm linked with MC’s as she catches up with her friends while she gently caresses his arm. Ok, this isn’t too bad, not bad at all really. I can do this. He thinks to himself.

Of course, not even a minute later Youngmi sets down her glass, springs to her feet, grabbing both MC and Minji by the hands that are not currently latched onto their boyfriends and declares, “Ok ladies! It’s time to dance!”

The other two girls are more than eager to follow along, Jinwo is as well, getting up with his girlfriend. Saeran is apprehensive, to say the least.

“Saeran, you in?” Youngmi prods cheerfully

“Ummmm,” Saeran starts, eye darting over to MC, “I don't know if…”

“That’s fine! No worries!” MC says, taking her seat again. “I can stay with you!”

“No!” Saeran exclaims. “No, go hang out with your friends. I really want you to have a good time tonight, I’m just… scared. That sounds so stupid.”

MC gets up again and kisses him on the forehead, “It’s not stupid my love, It’s ok to be scared. To be honest, I'm super proud of you for coming out tonight.”

He gives her a half-hearted smile, "Thank you. Now, go have fun with Youngmi and the others. I'll be fine here, I promise."

MC studies his face for a moment finding no betrayal in his words, "Ok, I love you!" She says, backstepping to catch up with her friends.

"I love you too!" He shouts over the music as he watches her blend into the crowd.

He loses track of her pretty quickly and has to stop himself from letting the panic boil up in him over not being able to keep track of her. She's going to be fine, she's with her friends and Jinwo would never let anyone hurt her, or Youngmi for that matter. She could probably kick anyone's ass. He notes with a chuckle.

He leans back and takes out his phone in an attempt to get his mind off things and enters the RFA chatroom.

-- Saeran has entered the chatroom --

Saeyoung: Hey bro!

Zen: Hey Saeran!

Saeran: Hi guys ^^

Saeyoung: Aren't you out with MC right now?

Zen: Oh yeah! The club! Maybe they haven't left yet

Saeyoung: they definitely did

Saeran: And how exactly, do you know that?

Saeyoung: uhhhh good guess?

Saeran: …

Saeyoung: plz don't hurt me

Saeyoung: I was just concerned and I wanted to make sure you got there ok!

Saeran: Tracked the Uber driver?

Saeyoung: noooooo

Saeran: …

Saeyoung: maaaaaaybe

Saeran: …

Saeyoung: ok yea

Saeran: See? was that so hard to admit?

Zen: Ok, ok but if you guys are there already, then what are you doing in the chat? lmao

Saeran: Umm… well

Saeyoung: He’s shy

Saeran: I don’t exactly know how to dance…

Saeran: Like this

Zen: Just go with your instincts

Zen: Feel the music!

Saeyoung: And maybe something else too <3

Zen: SEVEN

Zen: I mean

Zen: SAEYOUNG!

Saeyoung: oo you’re so authoritative when you use my full name

Zen: Stop that!

Zen: Saeran is a gentleman!

Saeyoung: Is part of being a gentleman not giving a lady what she wants?

Saeran: Please stop

Saeyoung: srry

Zen: but for real, you should go dance with MC. I'm sure she wants to dance

Saeran: She is dancing

Zen: Without you?

Saeran: She’s with her friends.

Saeyoung: Oh no

Saeran: Oh no?

Saeyoung: Saeran!

Saeran: WHAT

Saeyoung: Do you need me to come?

Saeran: No? I’m fine

Saeyoung: I could teach you!

Saeyoung: but I’d have to charge

Saeran: ughhh

Saeyoung: MC has a single friend doesn't she?

Saeran: you are NOT coming here

Saeyoung: then go dance with your girlfriend!

Saeyoung: or I’ll come dance with her for you

Saeran: You wouldn’t dare

Saeyoung: or would I?

Saeran: >:(

Saeyoung: lololol

Zen: I’m not sure if you’re helping ^^;

Saeran: I’m leaving

Saeyoung: To go dance with MC?

Saeran: ...Maybe

Zen: Good luck!

-- Saeran has left the chatroom --

Saeran drops his phone into his lap and his head into his hands. Maybe his brother and Zen had a point. MC probably did want to dance with her friends but knowing her, she probably wanted to dance with him a lot more. His heart swells a bit at the thought, She wanted him. She always wanted him and he was still getting used to that. He sits back, takes a deep breath and stands, beginning his search in the crowd for her.

He finds her pretty quickly, dancing with her arms around Youngmi and for a minute he can’t believe he was willing to miss out on dancing with the hottest girl here. Her back is turned to him. Youngmi sees him first and smiles at him as he sneaks up behind her. Silently placing his hands on her hips and whispers in her ear, “Hey Angel.”

MC spins around quickly transferring her arms from Youngmi to him, “Saeran!” She exclaims excitedly, planting a kiss on his unexpecting lips before realization dawns on her.

“Is everything ok?!” She shouts over the music.

He smiles, “Everything’s fine!” He replies, “I just… wanted to come be with you.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Saeyoung said if I didn’t go dance with you he’d do it himself.” He admits.

She giggles, “Yup, ok that would do it.”

“And also…” He trails off, running his hands over the length of her sides, “I couldn't let Youngmi have all the pleasure of dancing with all of this.” he leans in and returns her kiss from a minute ago.

“Hey what's gotten into you, mister?” she talks into his ear.

“Mmm, you,” he says simply, making her smile.

Saeran quickly learns that club dancing is not that hard, at least not with MC there. Hard to keep himself from getting too excited maybe but the actual “dancing” part? Piece of cake. He’s glad his brother gave him the extra kick in the rear to actually do it. He’s never seen MC quite like this before, getting to see her enjoy something she loves with him by her side? That would be worth it even if he had to make a fool of himself.

He’s not even sure how long they’ve been there but eventually nature calls. “I’ll be right back, ok? I have to go to the bathroom.” He tells her, “Will you be ok on your own?”

She nods enthusiastically, “Yea! Don’t worry, I’m gonna go get another drink!”

He feels a bit apprehensive leaving her alone but it’s only for a few minutes and she had assured him earlier that nothing sketchy had ever happened in all the years she and her friends have been coming here. It would be fine, right? Yea, it would be fine and so with that, he’s off to locate the bathroom.

MC takes a seat at the bar and orders another of her favorite cocktails. Taking it gently from the bartender, she sips it down a bit before swiveling in her stool to search for her friends. But before she can locate them her view of the crowd is blocked by a tall figure.

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing all alone here.” The man asks in what he most likely intends to be a sultry voice.

“Oh,” MC starts, “I’m not alone, I’m here with my friends and my boyfriend.”

He scoffs, “Boyfriend? You mean that skinny little shit I saw you dancing with earlier? The kid looked like he was about to piss himself.” “Ok, I’m done talking to you,” MC says angrily and attempts to get up from her seat.

He pushes her back down, “Shame because I’m not done talking to you,” He says roughly.

MC scowls at him, frantically trying to search for a friendly face amongst the crowd around his imposing figure.

“Ya know If your boyfriend was a real man he’d know better than to leave you alone dressed like this.” He says into her ear, trailing one finger up her thigh.

MC is paralyzed, her mind is screaming at her to fight back, toss her drink, scream, kick, anything but her limbs won’t react. They won’t listen to her. His hand travels higher, up her side caressing her repulsively. The only part of her body that moves is her face, scrunching up disgustedly she closes her eyes.

And then, she hears a grunt and a slam, and the touching stops.

“How about you get your worthless, disgusting fingers off what’s mine before I end your miserable life and throw you away like the garbage you are.” A familiar voice barks out at the man.

That voice, she thinks. I haven't heard him talk like that since... She opens her eyes and there’s Saeran. He has the assailant pinned up against one of the wide support beams of the building just a few feet from where she’s sitting. The man grovels a bit.

“Ha,” The man laughs, “You think you can fight me? A weak little twig like you?”

MC catches the look in her boyfriend’s eye as his mouth twitches up in response. It’s been quite a while since she’s seen that look. She almost feels sorry for the guy before remembering what he was doing to her just moments ago.

“Weak?! Weak?! HA. Ah-hahaha. I’ll show you weak!” Saeran screeches, voice reaching a hysterical pitch as he shoves the man head back into the wall, before reeling back and punching him in the face.

MC cringes as the man groans, a trail of blood quickly descending from his nose. She slowly gets up from the barstool and makes her way over to where her boyfriend - a version of him at least - is now tightening his hands around his windpipe.

“Keep. Your. Hands. Off. Of. My. Girl” Saeran grits through his teeth, tightening his grip little by little with each word.

“Saeran!” She shouts at him over the music.

He swings his head to look at her.

“We’ve gotta go!” She shouts, motioning to the group of bouncers now making their way through the crowd toward them.

“Fuck!” He grunts, releasing the man and letting him fall to the ground sputtering.

She grabs his hand and begins to pull him through the crowd toward the back entrance.

“You’re a fucking psychopath!” The man yells out from behind them and Saeran hesitates a moment, contemplating whether or not it would be worth it to go back.

“Come ON.” MC urges, yanking him to start moving again.

“Right, yeah.” He mutters.

The two of them manage to get out the back door but She doesn’t stop, knowing they’ll give chase. “Run!” She tells him.

The two of them run a few blocks and then duck into an alley, behind a dumpster and catch their breath.

“I’m sorry,” He says first between ragged breaths.

For a second she thinks maybe he’s switched back.

“Sorry?” She questions.

“I ruined your night with him. I promised you I wouldn't come back. Y-you, don’t need me messing up your life like this.” “Ruined? Saeran, no! You saved me!” She tells him.

He doesn’t seem to hear her, “I’m sure the other one - the other Saeran - could have taken care of it alot more… Gracefully. But when he saw you, he kind of just froze and I- I couldn't wait for him to work up the courage.”

She takes his hands “I’m really, really glad you didn’t. Looks like I do need you after all.”

“Y-You need me?” He whispers.

“I need all of you!” She says, looking into his eyes now. “You. Ray. The other Saeran. You’re all important to me.”

“But I’m… an asshole.” He admits.

She giggles, “Maybe a little.”

He chuckles. “Hey, can I ask you something?” “Yeah, of course.”

“When he. Uh, that guy back there… Did he, make you feel like I did? You know, when I was-”

“No. Not that I was the biggest fan of you either, mind you but when it was you… It was like something was telling me it would be ok. With him… Every bit of me was screaming. I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I was paralyzed I-” Her eyes well up with tears and before he can even process what's happening she’s thrown her arms around his shoulders and is sobbing into the crook of his neck. “Thank you,” She chokes out.

A voice in his head tells him to wrap his arms around her and rub her back. So he does, he’s not good at this part. The screaming, the punching, the protecting, that he can do. This tender stuff is all new, but this feels right “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again.” He whispers into her hair.

Hearing him say that only makes her sob harder, but she hugs him closer as well. “I missed you,” she mutters

His eyes widen, He wants to ask if she’s crazy. He wants to ask why in the world she would miss a monster like him, but she’s never made any sense to him and she probably wasn't about to start now. “I… I’ve missed you too, Princess.”

She giggles tearfully and snuggles into him and breathes out a sigh. “You’ve changed.” She tells him. “You’re… nicer.”

Saeran scoffs, “Tell that to the guy whose face I just beat in”

She giggles again. “Oh and funny too! I knew there was more to you than just unbridled rage”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t fight her on it.

Her phone rings - It’s Yougmi

“Hello?” MC answers “MC. HOLY SHIT. Are you guys ok?! People are saying Saeran just beat the shit out of some creeper?’

“Oh uhhh, yea. We’re fine! I just didn’t want to get the police involved and everything.” “Shit. Didn’t think he had it in him honestly.”

MC laughs nervously. “Ah well, we’re fine. You guys ok on your own?” “Yea we’re good but MC? Are you ok? People are saying that guy… he’s been harassing girls every weekend for a while now, he didn’t-”

“No, No It didn't get that far, Thanks to Saeran.” MC looks up into to see Saeran’s eyes drop to the floor with a huff.

“Good. Well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good, night Youngmi.”

MC hangs up and grabs her boyfriend's hand. “Ready to go home?”

“Home?” He questions.

“Yes?”

“You want to take me home? Y-you don’t want me to go? Let one of the Marshmallows take over?”

“Not if you don’t want to. I’m curious to learn more about you. Ya know, now that you’re not on drugs and screaming at me.”

“Ha.” He breathes, “Hope you don’t regret that decision.”

“Psh, your barks worse than your bite.” She says, shoving him playfully as they walk.

“But I do bite.” He smirks.

“Don’t I know it.”

[javelon]

Incoming Storm

I know I already posted a story today but I realized I posted this to my Ao3 account yet not here. This story isn’t as uh....cheerful as the earlier one though. In fact it may just be the most angsty story I wrote soooo read with caution! The German translations will be at the end of the story.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Let's look at an overview of the incoming winter storm. This evening we're looking at heavy snow, anywhere from 6 to 12 inches of snow and very powerful winds pushing that temperature dangerously low." The local weatherman was quite serious this evening, quite outside the norm of his usual cheerful attitude.

Chase gave a grimace as the man continued to go on about this storm moving into the area in a couple hours. It sounded like a nasty storm and he was the only one home. JJ was volunteering at Henrik's hospital while Jackie was out most likely at the shelters helping them prepare for the storm and all three would most likely not return until the morning. Marvin, Jack, and Anti were all out of town for a couple weeks so that just left him to weather out the storm in the abnormally quiet Septic house.

The single father sighed before taking a drink of his whiskey as he changed the channel. The one nice thing about being home alone is he could drink in peace without the doctor's lecture or JJ's pitying look. He wasn't drinking as much as he had right after the divorce! Besides it was cold in the house and alcohol was used to keep people warm right? Though he vaguely recalled Henrik lecturing him about drinking myths and that may have been one of them. Something about constricting blood flow to protect organs?

Oh well didn't matter, he wasn't going outside anyway. So there was nothing wrong with him having a drink tonight.

Bzzzt bzzzt

Bzzzt bzzzt

A half hour and a couple of drinks into the night Chase's TV watching is interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. His eyes widen when he sees Stacy on the caller ID and quickly answers the phone.

"Stacy?"

"Hey I need you to come get the kids. My parents are worried about this storm so I'm going to their place until it blows over."

"Oh uhh" Chase hesitated as he looked out the window, seeing the snowflakes already falling from the night sky.

"Is that a problem?"

"No! No I can come get them no problem. I'm leaving right now, should be there in 30 minutes."

"Good." Click

Chase stared at his phone before shaking himself out of it and grabbing his heavy coat and shoved his sock clad feet into his sandals, not bothering to look for better shoes in his hurry. He really wished Stacy had called a bit sooner but still he was happy he would get to see his kids early so he guessed he shouldn't complain. If he hurried he could get the kids back home before the storm hit if the weatherman was right. Which was good cause Chase's car wasn't really a great vehicle for winter storms. It was a reliable little thing but he knew no vehicle should really be out in winter storms.

Bitter cold wind bit at his skin as he jogged to his vehicle. It took a bit of tugging on the already freezing shut door before Chase could climb inside and start the car, sitting for a moment while the vehicle warmed up. He searched for his gloves while waiting only to curse when he remembered he loaned them to Jackie when the hero's pair were ruined during a patrol. Oh well it wasn't like he was going out in the storm except to get the kids in the car then into his house.

Feeling satisfied the car had sat long enough, Chase carefully made his way out of the driveway and towards Stacy's place, his headlights shining off the snowflakes as they fell.

About ten minutes into the drive and the snow was already coming down harder accompanied by pings of ice bouncing off his car. Chase was glad there didn't seem to be anyone else out on the road with the storm moving in faster than anticipated. By the time he pulled into Stacy's driveway snow was coating the ground and ice was forming on the sidewalks, making it difficult to traverse.

Stacy had apparently been watching for him as she opened the door before he could even knock and his kids jumped into his arms, already bundled up in their winter wear.

"Daddy!" His kids cried as he hugged them tight.

"Hey kiddos! You ready to come stay with dad tonight?"

He grinned at their immediate "Yea!" and looked around for their bags while ushering them into the car.

"Where's their stuff?" He asked Stacy who was gathering her own stuff. He could hear her SUV rumbling in the garage so he knew she was anxious to leave.

"They're only staying the night with you they don't need them. You have stuff for them at your place right?" Stacy replied impatiently while searching for something in her purse.

"Err yea, yea ok." Chase watched her dig through her purse, unsure if he should leave yet.

"Ugh where are my keys?!" Stacy yelled after a minute of digging.

"Um...well it sounds like they could be in your car?" Chase said carefully.

Stacy grunted and turned to go back in the house, "Right. I'll call you when I'm coming to get the kids."

"Alright. Bye Stacy."

A closed door is all that answered him.

Chase stared at the door for a moment before a particularly cold gust of wind rocked him and he quickly climbed back in his warm car.

"Alright little dude and dudette, you guys have your seatbelts on?"

"Yea!" Sammy and Gray replied.

"Hey dad guess what!" Gray immediately said, bouncing in his seat.

Chase glanced up at him through the rearview mirror as he slowly pulled out onto the road, "What's up little dude?"

"You have to guess!" Gray insisted.

Tires spun in place for a moment as Chase shifted into drive and tried to accelerate forward, ice making it difficult for the tires to find purchase on the asphalt, "Hmm let's see, did you finally eat your green beans?"

"Ewww!" Both his kids whined.

Chase laughed, "They're good for you! They make you big and strong!"

His grin widened hearing their exaggerated gagging sounds, "Ok ok. Did yoooooou buy a panda?"

Their laughter warmed his very soul, "You can't buy pandas, dad!"

"You can't? Then how do the people have them on Animal Planet?" Chase teased, his eyes darting side to side over the road as the snow fell harder, creating a mesmerizing affect like traveling through space.

"Those are zookeepers, dad!" Sammy giggled.

Chase lightly smacked his head, causing more laughter in the backseat, "D'oh! Of course, you're so smart Sammy."

His little girl beamed with pride while Gray asked, "Do you give up??"

Chase gave an exaggerated sigh, "I give up. What?"

"I finally unlocked all the characters in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate!" Gray practically yelled in his excitement.

The single father gasped dramatically, covering up his grunt as he fought the wind battering against the car, "No way that's awesome Gray!"

"Hey I helped!" Sammy spoke up.

"Only at a couple parts. I did most of the work." Gray huffed.

"Sammy, that was very nice of you to help your brother. Gray did you at least tell your sister thank you for the parts she helped with?" Chase quickly jumped in to hopefully prevent an argument from breaking out.

Gray ducked his head, "Thank you, Sammy."

"Thank you Gray. Now Sammy what should you say when someone thanks you?"

"You're welcome, Gray." Sammy had a slightly smug grin.

"So tell me your favorite character." Chase quickly switched the topic.

Gray's eyes lit up and he chatted happily away about his favorite fighter and all the different moves it could do with Sammy speaking up occasionally to add her own opinions in.

Halfway home as his kids were debating what the best stage was, the steering wheel jerked from a particularly hard gust of wind that hit the car. Chase tried to correct it but he must have hit a patch of ice as suddenly the world was spinning. Screams of terror made his heart seize up while he tried desperately to get the car back under control. Squealing of rubber against pavement could be heard over his kids followed by a sudden cacophony of noise as the car came to a forceful stop against a tree off the road and then...silence.

Deep, painful gulps of air rushed in and out of Chase's lungs, his knuckles white from his grip on the steering wheel. "You..you guys ok?" He gasped out, swallowing down the curses he wanted to shout.

He turned in his seat as his kids nodded, too shaken up to reply yet, though their eyes shimmered with tears.

"Good. Good. Of course you're fine. You two are the toughest kids I know." Chase tried a bit of humor to ease their fear, tiny grins rewarding his efforts.

Taking another steadying breath Chase turned back around and put his hand on the key.

Wrrrr wrrrr wrrrr

Wrrrr wrrrr wrrrr

Wrrrr wrrrr wrrrr

The car sputtered with each turn of the key but wouldn't start. Panic ate at him as Chase kept trying only to slump down when it was obvious the car wouldn't start.

"Dad? Why won't the car start?" Sammy asked quietly.

"I dunno Sammy." Chase answered quietly back.

"Are we stuck here, dad?" Gray asked.

Chase gave him a small grin, putting on a brave front for his kids, "No no. Just need to see what's up with the engine. You two sit tight."

Bracing himself, Chase grabbed the little flashlight from his glovebox and forced the door open against the wind. It was even colder than it had been when he left his house, not helped at all by the snow and ice pellets raining down on him. His socks quickly grew wet from the melting snow around his feet, making Chase wish he had taken the time to put on different shoes.

It took several tries for his already freezing cold fingers to find the latch that held the hood shut, but even when he opened it Chase didn't know what he was looking for. The engine looked fine to his untrained eyes but obviously something was wrong. Maybe something under the vehicle was wrong?

Chase crouched down with his flashlight and looked under the car but still things looked normal. He knew how to change a tire and the oil of his car but when it came to more difficult stuff the Septics all turned to Anti, surprisingly.

"How do you know so much about cars, dude?" Chase asked one summer afternoon, watching Anti working under the hood of Henrik's car.

"It's not hard, Chase. No more complicated than computers, it's just different. Especially newer cars with all their fancy tech." Anti had grunted back while pulling out the older battery, "Make yourself useful and take this will ya?"

What Chase would give to have Anti here now. Hopefully the glitch could talk him through it over the phone. Chase grunted as he tried to stand back up, cursing under his breath when he slipped and his jeans got covered in snow. Using the car to pull himself upright, Chase pulled out his cell and squinted against the sudden bright light.

Crap his battery was only at 30% and he knew cell batteries went down quickly in freezing temperatures. He quickly dialed Anti's number and held the phone to his ear, hopping from foot to foot to try to warm up a bit.

"You have reached the voicemail box..."

Chase grumbled when it went to voicemail and tried the other Septics. Several voicemail boxes later and Chase wanted so much to yell out his frustrations. His ears, fingers, and toes hurt from the cold but he didn't want to get in the car until he had done all he could. He tried one more number, Henrik's office number. It was only for emergencies and Chase figured stuck on the road in a blizzard counted for an emergency.

"Dr. Henrik Schneeplestein's office. This is Linda speaking how can I help you?"

Chase let out a big sigh of relief, "Hey this is Chase Brody calling. I'm uh a family member of Dr. Schneeplestein's. Can I speak with him?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Schneeplestein is in a surgery right now. Can I give him a message?"

Chase's shoulders slumped, "No that's ok. If he's in surgery he'll be awhile. I'm stuck on the side of the road and was hoping he could send help."

"Oh no and in such horrible weather! Let me get you the number of the emergency road service. I'll bet they have a bunch of guys out tonight."

Hope filled Chase, "Please! I'd be so grateful!"

Few minutes later he was finally back inside the car with his kids, though with not as good of news as he was hoping.

A minimum of an hour before the emergency vehicles could get to them. Turns out there were several other people stuck and it was going to take time to reach them. Chase had pleaded with them saying he had his two kids in the car which got him bumped up the list in terms of priority but he wasn't the only one that was stuck with kids. They were just going to have to sit tight.

To make matters worse the temperature had dropped quite a bit in the car alread. Chase could see his kids were obviously cold as he climbed into the backseat with them and pulled them close to him, trying to give them what body heat he had.

"Well kiddos looks like we're in for a bit of a wait. We've got help coming but there's others out there stuck too." Chase explained as he rubbed their arms, grateful they had warm hats and scarves.

"So we have to wait our turn right, dad?" Gray asked, he and Sammy huddling as close as possible to their dad.

Chase smiled at his son, "That's right. So tell me how school's been going. What have you guys been learning?"

Minutes ticked by slowly as Chase tried to keep his kids distracted by asking questions and if he was being honest, distracting himself too. The car rocked as wind buffeted it, the temperature dropping more and more with each gust that blew through the creases in the old car. His muscles ached, he guessed from how badly he was shivering. It was getting harder to rub his hands up and down his kids arms so he opted for holding them in his lap instead as best he could. He had a ratty old blanket on the floor that wasn't big enough for him but it wrapped comfortably around his kids, giving them extra warmth.

"So Gr..Gray ha..have y...y...you unlocked ev...every....one in....Sm...smash...bro..thers?" Chase asked through chattering teeth.

He didn't understand why they looked at him confused.

"Y..yea, dad. I..I.to..told you ab..bout it r..re..mem..ber?"

"O...oh...r...ri...right."

"Y..y..you..ok..d.dad?" Sammy struggled out.

Chase hugged his kids tightly to him. He didn't like them shivering. Why was it so cold?

"I...a...am...fi..fi..fine."

He slowly moved his aching arm to his phone on the car seat. Numb fingers struggled with the device before it finally lit up.

Huh that's weird. His fingers almost looked blue.

Chase shook his head to try and clear it. It was like a fog had settled over his thoughts. Almost like when he drank too much.

His eyes flickered to the battery gauge, 3% glaring back at him in the darkness. Suddenly his phone's provider logo appeared then the phone went black. Chase frowned as he forced his numb fingers to press buttons and make it light up again only for it to remain stubbornly dark.

"W...w...why?"

"I.it's de..dead, d..dad." Sammy seemed concerned.

His little girl shouldn't be concerned about anything. She was too young and...and so precious to him. Gray too. God he loved his kids so much but he was such a terrible father. They were suffering and he couldn't stop it.

"D..dad? W..why are y..you cry...ing?"

God his kids' teeth were still chattering. And he...he was actually warm. Almost too warm. Why was he so warm?

Chase shuffled in his seat, slowly peeling off his coat and wrapping it around his kids, "I...i....it's...o..o.ok. Te...te..te..ll m..me mo..re a...ab...bout..sc...sch..ool."

He hugged his kids again, hoping to transfer his new warmth to them, their voices trickling through his ears.

He wondered if they would hate him after this. Would they hate him for not taking better care of them? For not having a better car? For not getting them home safely by now?

"...d? Da..?"

Stacy would hate him. Not that she didn't hate him already. He didn't blame her. She was right. He was a failure.

"...ad?!"

He would make it up to them. He had to. He'd do anything to show how sorry he was. That he would try harder. Be better.

"...addy?!?"

His thoughts were surprisingly loud for how foggy he felt. Like sirens almost.

"...ir? Can....ou....ar...me?"

Why was he floating? Why is there a light in his eyes? Where are his kids?

"Gr'y....? S'mmy....?"

Darkness enveloping him was the only response he received.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henrik let out a weary sigh as he grabbed a new cup of coffee. It had been a long day and he still had several hours to go.

"How'd the surgery go?" A young nurse, Jesse, asked as she waited for her turn at the coffee machine.

"Fine fine. Jus' a broken tibia. Nothin' a couple screws could not fix. Zhey will be fine in a few weeks if zhey stay off ze ice!"

Jesse grinned at him, "After a fall like that I doubt they're eager to walk on an icy sidewalk again."

Henrik hummed in agreement as he took the folder for his next patient. Another case of a young man with frostbite. The doctor shook his head. Young men always seemed to think themselves immortal until they landed in the hospital and learned they might lose their toes.

Henrik waved at the nurse and made his way to the ER room his patient was in. He had his hand on the doorknob when the double doors in the hall burst open, a grim looking team of paramedics coming through. Henrik's heart clenched. He knew that look well. Whoever that poor soul was, was in very bad shape. His heart went out to the family who would likely receive bad news by morning.

He turned back to the door of his patient as the team went by. He had his own patient to worry about now. The doors burst open again, drawing Henrik's attention in surprise then shock when he recognized who came through.

"Uncle Schneep!" Gray and Sammy cried out when they saw him, reaching for him as best they could while the paramedics with them tried to keep the kids on their beds.

"Gray! Sam! What happened?!" Henrik hurried to their side.

"You have to help him, Uncle! He...he wouldn't wake up!" Sammy sobbed as she threw her arms around him.

"What? Who?" Henrik looked to the paramedics around the kids for answers.

Terror gripped him when he heard their twin yells of "Dad!"

One of the paramedics gave him a sympathetic look, "Severe hypothermia. He was unresponsive when we arrived."

The floor seemed to drop out from under the good doctor. The manila folder slipped from his lax fingers, papers scattering as he sprinted down the hallway towards the other patient who had just come through, deaf to the voices yelling out behind him.

'It can't be him. Bitte. Mein Gott bitte nein!'

Shoes squeaked on linoleum as he reached the room with the new patient.

'Oh Gott nein!'

One of Henrik's worst nightmares had come to life before him. Laying on the bed looking too young and far too still was Chase, his skin white except his fingers and ears which had turned black from frostbite. Only years of experience kept the bile rising up in Henrik at bay.

"CHASE!"

Hands grabbed at him before he could rush to Chase's side.

"Lass miche nicht gehen!" Henrik yelled, his fear causing him to speak in his native tongue.

"There's nothing you can do Dr. Schneeplestein!"

The paramedic from earlier told him. Henrik struggled with the paramedic to reach the young father. He could help him! He had to help him!

A loud alarm started blaring.

He snapped his attention back to the room as the doctor in the room started chest compressions. Henrik froze and could only watch in horror as they tried to restart Chase's heart. His own chest ached when the cracking of rib bones reached his ears.

Organ failure was the last step in severe hypothermia before...

'Nein! Gott bitte!'

Too long. It had been too long. No no no this wasn't supposed to happen. Chase had survived a bullet in the head! How could the cold be stealing him away?!

Tears streamed down the doctor's face when the announcement came that he dreaded but knew was coming.

"Time of death..."

A loud wail of sorrow echoed through the hospital's halls.

-------------------------------------------------------

I used Google translate for the German parts so I hope they're accurate.

"Bitte. Mein Gott bitte nein!" - "Please! My God please no!"

"Oh Gott nein!" - "Oh God no!"

"Lass miche nicht gehen!" - "No let me go!"

"Nein! Gott bitte!" - "No! God please!"

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Preference: You Steal Their Clothes

MASTERLIST

Warnings: Cursing and allusions to sex

Rick Grimes

“Y/n, is that my shirt?” Asked Rick as you walked into your shared cell in the prison block. You looked down, realizing that is actually was his shirt. Not thinking about it earlier that morning, you had put it on before going out to the fence for walker control.

“Uh, yes. It is.” You reply awkwardly as Rick raked his eyes across your body. “You can have it back if you want,” you say, reaching to pull it off.

“No, it’s fine. You can keep it. It looks good on you.” Then Rick smirks. “On second thought, you’re right. Take it off. It would look better on the floor.”

Negan

Negan had gone to Alexandria for a few days to gather supplies and try to shut down any rebellious behavior, leaving you all alone in the large room the two of you usually shared. For once, he had forgotten to grab his signature leather jacket, leaving it laying on the back of a chair just begging for you to try it on.

You put on the jacket although it was much too big for you, enjoying as Negan’s scent surrounded you and invaded your nose. You sighed, a wave of longing rushing over you as you thought of Negan. It had only been a couple of days, but after being used to seeing him every day you missed him. Real bad.

As if answering your thoughts, the door to the room swung open, revealing the love of your life standing there with Lucille on his broad shoulder.

“Honey, I’m home,” said Negan sarcastically, scanning the room before his eyes landed on you. He smiled immediately at how adorable you were. The sleeves of his jacket went plenty past your hands, and you must not have known how to properly zip the thing because somehow it had become crooked.

“So,” you said slowly. “You’re home early.”

“Well, I wanted to come home and surprise you. And damn, it looks like you’ve been missing me anyway.” Said Negan with a smirk.

“Yea, I did.” You replied, not even bothering to deny or beat around the bush.

“You look fucking fuckable in my clothes. You should wear them more often.” Said Negan as he held you in his arms, pressing you against his firm chest.

“Well then I guess I will.”

Daryl Dixon

When Daryl got into the shower, leaving his sleeveless leather jacket in his bedroom, you couldn’t help but put it on. After being friends for years, you had developed a crush on the man and no way in hell were you going to deny yourself the one chance you had to wear his clothes without him knowing.

You put on the jacket although it was a bit large, turning around in the mirror to admire the wings on the back. So absorbed in the rush of putting on the garment, you didn’t hear the water stop. You also didn’t hear a certain someone’s feet padding back to their bedroom. You did, however, hear somebody slam into the doorframe.

“Shit Y/n, what are ya doin’ in here?” Asked Daryl, using one hand to rub his shoulder, and the other to hold up the towel wrapped around his waist. You blushed deeply and turned around, shielding your eyes with your hand although you were tempted to turn back around to face him.

“I, uh, just wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on that three-day run with me. If you come, I don’t have to bring Spencer.” You said awkwardly, embarrassed that he had caught you. Hopefully, this wasn’t enough for him to catch on to your feelings for him.

“Of course, that guys an ass. But first, is that my jacket?” He asked intrigued, although he obviously already knew the answer.

“Yea. I’m sorry, it was just sitting there and I-”

“Don’t apologize.” He said. “It looks cute on you.” You froze. Did Daryl just flirt with me? The Daryl Dixon? “And Y/n, you can turn back around now.”

You turned to see that he had put a pair of jeans on, but his chest he had left bare. This wasn’t the first time you had seen Daryl shirtless, but it still made your face blush profusely. Quickly shrugging off the jacket and handing it to him, you walked out of the room.

Is there any chance he likes me back?

Glenn Rhee

Rummaging through your closet in Alexandria that you shared with your husband for a pair of clean shoes, you found an old treasure. Holding it up you smiled, memories of how you met Glenn leaving Atlanta flooding your mind. He was wearing this hat then, and for months you were almost certain that he slept in it too. You didn’t know why he quit wearing it; but if he wasn’t going to, it might as well get some use.

“Glenn!” You yelled at your husband happily after searching the town. He excused himself politely from his conversation with Eugene, rushing over to you.

“Y/n, you found my hat!” He said with a smile. 

“Yes, I did.” You said, returning the smile. “Is there any reason it was hidden at the bottom of our closet?”

“No, it just ended up there after I quit wearing it I guess. That thing hasn’t gotten to see the light of day in a while.” Glenn bent down to kiss you, but only succeeded in bumping his face against the bill of the cap. “Y/n, don’t get me wrong. You look absolutely adorable right now. But if I can’t kiss you, you can’t get to comfortable with this hat.”

Abraham Ford

Sitting in the train car at Terminus, there wasn’t a whole lot to protect you from the outside temperatures. Through the drilled-in airholes, both hot and cold air seeped in. As the weather got colder, the train car followed suit. As someone that got cold rather easily, this was a problem for you. However, being in such a confined space meant that you could not hide the fact that you were cold very easily.

“Darlin’, I know you want to be tough and all. But you look like you are fucking freezing.” Said Abraham. You huffed, looking down at your feet . No point in denying the obvious.

“Yes, Abe. I’m cold. But what do you want me to do about it? I’m sorry, but we haven’t exactly got many options in here.” You say snappily, rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm up.

“Well, I actually have a jacket with my if you want it.” He said, rather soft compared to his normal tone which was quite out of character for him.

“But Abraham, I didn’t even know you before we got trapped in here together. Isn’t that a it forward?” You say teasingly.

“Well baby, I’m all about being forward with pretty women.” He said in reply, making you blush.

“Then don’t take this the wrong way, but could I borrow it? I don’t usually do this but it doesn’t seem like a bad offer.” You say quietly.

“Well sure baby. If you don’t usually do this, then I guess I’m the luckiest guy in the world.” He says with a smirk, ending a great start to a beautiful friendship and relationship.

Carl Grimes

“Y/n, have you seen my-” Said Carl, walking into the room. “Nevermind.” he said as he found what he was looking for, right there on your head. His sheriff’s hat his dad had given him at the farm.

“Looking for something, Grimes?” You ask teasingly,smiling up at your boyfriend.

“Well I was, but you look way cuter than I do in it. Keep the hat for a while L/n, it suits you.” And with a smirk, Carl was back out the door again.

King Ezekiel

“Y/n,” said your husband Ezekiel as he entered your shared bedroom. “Is that my coat that you are wearing?”

You laughed in return, smiling and nodding your head. He giggled back, smiling wide. Although a bit childish, his reaction made your heart melt at how cute he was.

“Well my dear, you look absolutely stunning as always.” He said, smiling and wrapping his arms around your frame. “But I need our help in the garden. We don’t know what to do with the onions, they weren’t planted deep enough and we can see small ones popping through the dirt.”

“Well, we can’t have any tiny onions popping through, can we?” You respond with a giggle.

“Y/n, my queen, I adore you.”

“I adore you too my king.”

Paul “Jesus” Rovia

“How could you do this?” Said Jesus, feigning sadness. 

“I’m so sorry boo. But I had to.” You say in return, also feigning solemnity.

“How could you steal my beanie, Y/n?” He says, trying hard to not break and crack a smile.

“Because it just looks so cute on me. See?” You say, smiling and pointing at yourself. At this, Paul couldn’t help but mile at how adorable you were.

“Well, I can’t argue with that logic.”

“Damn right you can’t.”

Dwight

“Dwight-y boy, I saw that girl of yours today.” Said Negan, walking up to Dwight in the hallway.

“Oh?” Said Dwight, confused as to why Negan was bringing you up. 

“Yea. So did you guys fuck last night?” Asked Negan, not bothering who heard what he was saying. Dwight nearly choked.

“What!?” He asked, stunned and confused.

“She was wearing one of your fucking shirts. I assume she stayed the night at your place then, so logically you guys ‘did the dirty’,” said Negan, making lewd gestures with his hands.

“Woah, no way Negan. Nothing like that. We were watching a movie and she crashed on the couch.” Replied Dwight.

“Well that’s a shame, she’s hot as shit.” Said Negan, reminding Dwight of what happened with Sherry and making his blood boil. Looking past Negan’s words, Dwight calmed himself down.

“Was she really wearing my shirt?” Asked Dwight, as you had left before he woke up this morning.

“Hell yes, Dwight. So you better make a fucking move, or I will.” Said Negan, raising his eyebrows.

“You can fucking count on it boss.”

Simon

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?” Asked Simon, eyeing you as you walked out of the bathroom.

“Oh, what ever could you mean?” You teased playfully, playing with the hem of his button-up that you had layered over your t-shirt.

“I think you’ve got an idea.” He said, smirking. “You look real hot though, so you’d better wear that thing all day.” Simon pulled you towards him, grabbing your ass and getting close to your ear, whispering, “this way everybody knows that you belong to me.”

Merle Dixon

“Well shit girl, you’re lookin’ damn fine today.” Said Merle as he looked you up and down, taking in how sexy all of your curves looked today. “Say, where’d you get that shirt?”

“Your drawer.” You said nonchalantly, knowing that the sight of you in his t-shirt and panties in the morning was making him excited.

“Well, I might just have to tell the governor that I’m going to be a bit late today so that I can teach you a lesson about stealing my stuff.” Said Merle, pressing up behind you, making your breath hitch. You felt how excited he was, exciting yourself even more.

“Well then, I guess you’ll just have to show me how bad I’ve been then.”

MASTERLIST

[syubits]

drunk on school trip AU ∞ taehyung

Taehyung hadn't been very sober when he walked in the room. 

As he (barely) recalled, and his brain was really fuzzy with the booming music from the club still ringing in his ears and alcohol whooshing in his veins in a away that made his head spin and everything in it fuzzy and a little skewered, he’d clumsily swiped his room keycard somewhere on the front of the door, and somehow it slid into its holder, the door had clicked and the ditzy brunnete had stumbled into the dimly lit room. There were two beds, the shared nightstand, the window wall that overlooked brilliantly sparkly nightscape that was currently obscured with heavy cream coloured curtains, its darker tassels hanging loosely at the ends and it all looked the same, just that they were all in the opposite way, like  a mirror image of his original room. The beds were on his right rather than left, and the TV set had been facing the other way as well. 

But then again it might just be the alcohol buzzing in his veins. Either way, Taehyung didn't really truly give two shits. Or one, for that matter. He just wanted to lay his head on the soft, downy and inviting pillow and sleep everything off so he can quickly wake up and suffer through a bad hangover and a self-lecture of how last night was such a bad idea and then do it all over again the next week. He debates doing something, but then blinks and forgets what and settles for yanking his pants off and dropping into bed.

The blanket underneath him curls, then, shrieks in surprise and Taehyung pulls back as hurriedly as his sluggish system allowed, more out of an instinctual reaction than surprise. He sees the dark lump of fabric shift before a crown of darker hair pokes out at the end, the confused and annoyed frown on your face and—

“Who are you?” 

The stranger beats you to the question, and even in the midst of sirens going off in your brain in panic it’s hard to miss the deep, almost dark timbre of his voice, velvety notes of his tone that made him sound alluring. He spoke lowly, slowly, almost slurred as if he was a little drunk or maybe it was just a burglar tactic to get you distracted, although burglars probably don’t come in unmasked and have pretty (albeit almost glassy) eyes and lashes to go with or ask questions like—

“Is that... Bulbasaur?” he squints in the darkness, scrambling closer south to get a better look. 

Belatedly, his question makes you realise your state of dress, or lack thereof. You had planned for an early night (much to Jennie’s disappointment) and you were most comfortable going to bed with minimal clothes, and being roommates even back at the dorm, Jennie was used to it. Sleeping in your undies was nothing to be embarrassed of. Even if it was Pokemon-themed. 

You weren't so sure now. 

“Oh. It is...Bulbasaur, I like Eevee though. Eevee’s- Eevee’s my favourite,” he stumbles through his words, frowning and head almost lolling to one side as he squints at the little cartoon characters printed on your panties. For someone who is drunk, this stranger was quite perceptive about the randomest of things. and with quickly building horror you watch as the stranger lifts a finger and reaches right for your -

THWACK. 

He drops like a dead fly and you stare at the remote control in your hand. Pure dread crawls through your skin, fear swirling and rising like bile in your throat. You considered googling “How to get away with murder”, panicking even more because it sounded like a questionable thing to be in your search history if the police ever get involved and settled on grabbing your phone instead.

[2:33AM] You: namjoon 

[2:33AM] You: NAMJOON 

[2:34AM] joonie: yea

[2:34AM] You: is there a law thign where u can hit ppl inself-defence 

[2:35AM] joonie: what 

[2:35AM] joonie: ?? are you okay? did you kill someone

The text stares at you hauntingly. Do you admit to it? Maybe texting wasn't the best option because screenshots were a thing and now you could've just secured yourself some evidence that could very well land you in jail for 30 years. The sound of something soft draws your attention away from your phone momentarily and discreetly, you detect a small, rough sound that seemed to repeat like- 

[2:37AM] joonie: _________ what the hell happened

[2:38AM] You: nvm hes snoring ??!

[2:38AM] joonie: what? who??

[2:39AM] You: he was drunk n came into my room and i panicked ok and hit his head w the tv control 

[2:40AM] joonie: what the fck ‘

[2:40AM] joonie: a stranger came into ur room?

[2:41AM] You: idk maybe 1 of us but theres so many grps on the trip so i dunno

[2:41AM] You: probably i guess

Lip tucked under your teeth, you hastily snap a quick picture of the boy who’s out like a light at your legs. 

[2:41AM] You: Sent Image_3245.jpg

[2:42AM] joonie: jesus. tae

[2:42AM] You: tae??

[2:43AM] joonie: How did he even end up in ur room our rooms are

[2:44AM] joonie: literally 8 floors apart

[2:44AM] joonie: hang on im going up and getting him 

[2:45AM] You: ur roommate sounds like an idiot

[2:45AM] joonie: i agree

:::::

You see Tae again two weeks after the incident, in the midst of wandering through the Applied Sciences department building in search of that new convenience store that was rumoured to sell mini tubs of Ben & Jerry's. Wednesdays were always unfortunate and you figured you needed some sort of pick-me-up considering you were done with tutorials at four but had the last lecture of the day slotted at all the way at seven. Your friends were kind enough to stay with you for a little bit more than an hour, but as much as you loved them and their company, you didn't want to hold them back. 

It happens when you pass by a pair of boys, seemingly lost in their own chatter and bubbles of chuckles. Wholly unbothered by them or anyone else, you hurry past them, your only mission being to head for the new store at the end of the block but a hand at your shoulder makes you whirl around, and suddenly you’re staring at two boys who are staring right back. The one in a sweatshirt with a cute doodle of the sun looks towards his friend, a little confused and slightly uncomfortable being in the middle of sudden, awkward encounter. You mirror his actions, turning to look at the taller boy, a little perplexed until -

“Miss Pokemon panties?” 

“Wh-,” you feel heat streaking across your cheeks, hands shooting forward to clap a hand over his mouth before anything else. Your mind reels back to the series of events on that night, the pretty... drunk stranger stumbling in your room that turned out to be Namjoon’s friend- 

“Tae?” 

Oh?

Tae makes a muffled sound of pleasant surprise against your palm, which you quickly retract.

“I’ll just? Excuse myself then,” your gaze slides over to the other boy, who quietly tries to make his leave. You’re about to stop him when Tae bids him just about the loudest goodbye that seemed to echo through the hallways, and suddenly it’s just the two of you alone. 

“Sorry,” he blurts before you have the chance to say anything. “For that night.” 

“I was about to apologise for knocking you with the remote first,” you say. 

The grin he flashes you is boxy, endearingly so that you can't help but smile back. 

“I’m Taehyung, by the way. Tae for short, which I guess you already knew from Namjoon,” he sticks out his hand for you to accept, giving yours a light squeeze when you accept.

“_________.”

“I’d much rather call you Miss Pok-”

“Don’t,” you purse your lips in a tight-lipped smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes that are oddly hard, the promise of murder behind them if he so much so dared mentioned that ever again. Taehyung pales a little, silence hanging static in the air before he doubles over, and then backwards in laughter. 

“I’m kidding. Are you on your way to a lecture?” 

“Kinda. It doesn't start until 7,” you say, a hint of sulkiness in your tone that Taehyung doesn’t miss. “I’m looking for that newly opened shop at this block,” you trail off hopefully in case he knew anything about it. 

“Oh! Yes, it’s that way,” he gestures and is already walking towards his own directions, prompting you to follow.  

Quickly, you try stopping him and convince him with an it’s fine, you should just go back with your friend, but Taehyung just holds up a finger as if he’s going to have none of that.

“I think I’d rather much hang out with you instead of going to Mr Lee’s lecture,” he replies with all the nonchalance in the world. 

“You’re going to skip lecture? Look, I appreciate your help, but I can find the ice cream on my own, you can’t miss your lectur-” 

“Ice cream?” his ears prick up at the word, eyes rounding and grin spreading in glee. “You really just convinced me to stay instead of going. Unless. I’m bothering you...?”’ he’s already stopping, ready to leave at your word. 

“No, no, just-,” you splutter. “Are you sure?”

He flashes you that boxy grin, roguish and covertly cheeky and tinged with the promise of mischief that abruptly made you shy away but drawing you in all the same.

“As it is, I would very much like to spend the Eevee-ning together with you.”

[hannahindie]

We Need To Talk About Sam

Characters: Reader, Soulless!Sam, Dean Winchester, Jake (OC) Word Count: 1,727 Warnings: Sam being a jerk, not really non-consensual since the reader is sassy as balls but there’s a hint, language, alcohol use A/N: I just randomly had this thought and even though I have stuff I actually need to work on, I figured I’d get this out of my head. Beta’d by my lovely @pinknerdpanda: “gah! what an evil way to end this! ;)” Thanks, pretty lady. :) As always, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know!

Y/N sat at the bar, swirling her nearly empty glass as she stared blankly at the television which was showing some football game she had no interest in.

“Want another?” She shifted her gaze from the television to the bartender, then slid the glass across the worn wood.

“Is that even a question anymore, Jake?”

He chuckled, “I guess not.” She went back to staring at the television, and he quietly dropped a couple of ice cubes into the glass and filled it with what he had come to learn was her favorite whiskey. He slid it back to her, and she reached into her pocket for the few crumpled bills she had left. “This one’s on me tonight. You look like you've had a shit day.”

She frowned at him, “Try a shit year,” she sighed as she wrapped her fingers around the now cold glass, then gave him a sad smile, “Thanks.” She took a sip of her drink and grimaced as the amber liquid burned on its way down.

Jake leaned against the bar and raised his eyebrows, “Anything you want to talk about? You’ve been coming in here for almost a year, and you’re one of the only ones that never bitches about anything. Although you have pretty much paid for my night classes with all that whiskey, so I guess I should thank you for that.”

Y/N snorted quietly, “You’re welcome, I suppose.” She took another sip, then tilted her glass so that the melting ice spun lazily around the bottom, “There’s not really anything to say. I, uh...I lost someone that I cared for very much, and then I lost everything else. I never got the chance to tell him. Sounds like a country song, but it is what it is. It’s not something you can really fix, and I suppose drowning it all in alcohol isn’t the best plan. But I don’t really have any other ideas, so here we are.”

Jake began to wipe down the bar, “Well, everyone has their thing. I can’t say I ever believed in ‘everything happens for a reason’ or ‘what doesn’t break you makes you stronger’ or whatever, but if it were true for anyone...I think it would be you. You’ll be alright.” He cleared his throat, “Heads up, there’s a guy coming this way. Looks like he’s got his sights set on you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “He can set them elsewhere.”

Jake laughed, “Well, you can tell him that. Big guy is coming up on your left. I’d say let me know if you need anything, but I’m pretty sure that guy could kick my ass.” He tossed the towel over his shoulder and walked to the end of the bar to serve someone who had just walked in.

“Thanks for that,” Y/N mumbled under her breath, making a mental note to take it out of his tip later. She felt someone slide onto the stool next to her and sighed, “Listen, I’m really not in the mood to deal with-” Her sentence was interrupted when she turned to look at the person she was getting ready to berate and saw familiar hazel eyes staring back at her. “S-Sam?”

“Hey, Y/N.” Y/N stared at him, her eyes raking over his features as she tried to comprehend that it was actually Sam she was looking at. His hair was a little longer, and the angles of his face seemed sharper somehow. Although his eyes were still the impossible to define hazel that had always reminded her of sunflowers, something seemed...different. Otherwise, everything was her Sam.

“Is it really you?” She whispered, her chest tight with anxiety as it occurred to her she could just be going crazy and that the person in front of her just simply looked like Sam and wasn’t really him.

“Yea, it’s me. It’s really me.” He tucked a rogue strand of hair behind Y/N’s ear and she leaned into his palm, the warmth almost shocking as he cradled her cheek in his large hand. She closed her eyes and let her hand move up to cover his.

“How? I tried….God, I tried everything. I tried to sell my soul, I ….I tortured demons...nobody would talk to me. They wouldn’t make a deal. I don’t understand, how are you back?”

“I honestly don’t know. I just woke up and I was topside. I’ve been trying to find you, but Dean said he didn’t know where you were.”

Y/N slowly opened her eyes and met his concerned gaze. “We umm...I haven’t seen Dean in months. I haven’t spoken to him, it was just too hard. He tried texting me a few times but when I didn’t answer, I guess he gave up.” Y/N reached out and touched Sam’s face, her eyes wide as she felt the rough stubble graze her fingertips. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Sam’s hands moved down to her waist and she sighed as his large hands spanned her hips. “Well, believe it. Because I’m not leaving you again.” He crushed his lips against Y/N’s as he pulled her tightly against him, and for a moment she allowed him despite the shock of what he was doing. His kisses were violent and desperate, and Y/N pulled back so that she could catch her breath. Sam tilted his head, “Are you okay?”

Y/N nodded as she clumsily slid off her bar stool, “Yea, I’m fine, I just need...I need a minute.” She stumbled towards the bathroom and immediately splashed her face with cold water in hopes that it would jolt her back into reality. As much as she had always wanted Sam, this was not what she had expected. She had never had a chance to tell him how she felt, and though she had suspected he might have felt the same, this somehow felt wrong. She gripped the edge of the sink and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

The door creaked open and she groaned, “It’s occupied! Go use the men’s room or something.” She heard the lock click and looked up in the mirror to see Sam standing behind her, his back to the door. “What...what are you doing?” The look Sam gave her was almost frightening; his eyes were dark, and the glint in them seemed almost dangerous. He smiled and something about it made shivers run down her spine. She had felt those shivers before he’d jumped into the cage, but this time there was an underlying fear that made her feel on edge. She’d never been scared of Sam before, and she hated to admit she was now...but something was different.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” He charged across the space and grabbed her by the hips, lifting her onto the sink as he pushed himself between her legs. His lips captured hers again and for a moment she began to melt into him as his hands explored her, his fingertips like electricity as they slipped under her shirt and traveled across her bare skin. His tongue swept along her bottom lip and she moaned into him as he nipped at her. His hand traveled upward and cupped her breast roughly, which is what pulled her out of the fog she'd fallen into.

“Sam…” she said breathlessly, trying to force herself to put a stop to his ministrations, but not quite successful as he moved slowly down and began biting along her neck and collarbone.

“I know. This shouldn't have taken so long,” he whispered, his breath like fire against her neck. She felt his hands move to the buttons on her shirt, and after a moment of fumbling, he jerked it apart. Buttons clattered against the floor and bounced off the sink edge, and it was enough of a distraction to make her try to pull away from him.

“Sam, this isn't how I pictured...I don't want to do this here. We need to talk.”

Sam smirked at her, and for a second, he didn't even look like himself. “Oh, come on,” he said as he reached for her belt and began to unfasten it, “I know you wanted me before. I wanted you, too. You can't tell me you don't want this.” Before she realized what she was doing, Y/N slapped him hard across the face, shoved herself off the sink, and walked towards the door.

She turned, tears in her eyes as she clutched at her ruined shirt, “I wanted Sam before. I don't even know who you are.” She stormed out of the bathroom and toward the parking lot, ignoring Jake as he shouted after her. Once she got outside, she pulled out her phone and scrolled until she found the last person she wanted to talk to. She hesitated, her thumb over the dial option, then finally tapped it. Part of her hoped he would let it go to voicemail, but her prayer went unanswered as she heard the unmistakable voice of Dean Winchester.

“Y/N? He found you, didn't he?” The first words out of his mouth, and Y/N didn't even need to say anything. Anger consumed her as she got in her car and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

“You knew? He made it out of Hell and no one fucking thought to tell me?”

“It's not that simple-”

“Bullshit! You knew how I felt, and you didn't tell me. I have been miserable. I was alone and broken, and you should have told me.”

Dean was silent for a moment and when he answered his voice was low, “You weren't the only one that was alone and broken, Y/N.”

“Dean…” He was right. Y/N had left, and refused to talk to him. She was just as guilty.

“We need to talk. There's something wrong with Sam.”

“I noticed. He's a complete jackass. He's not...he's not my Sam.”

“He's Sam...he's just…” Dean paused as he tried to think of the best way to put it, then decided that it would be better to do it fast, like ripping off a band aid. “He’s soulless, Y/N. Whoever brought him back...they left his soul in the cage.”

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbateshotel53 @easelweasel