#which would make you smart and sexy i suppose

[babyleostuff]

spreadsheet

𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: (architect)student!mingyu x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 980

SYNOPSIS: if there's one thing mingyu finds incredibly sexy, it's intelligence

“i give up.” 

that was honestly the last thing you’d ever expect to hear from your boyfriend. kim mingyu never gave up, and even if - it wasn’t everyday that his ego allowed him to admit to failure.

confused, you looked up from your computer to see what finally managed to defeat him, just to be met with a very pouty, and a very annoyed boyfriend looking at the screen of his own computer, like he had some personal vendetta against it. 

you quickly covered your mouth with your hand to hide the smile forming on your face. you didn’t need mingyu to think you were making fun of him. “weren’t you supposed to work on your exam project?” you asked, doing your best not to burst out laughing. there was just something about that hunk of a six foot two man with killer biceps who was sitting opposite you, and pouting like a five year old that made you cackle. 

“yes, but i have to use a spreadsheet or whatever to sort out some of the information, and,” he sighed, “i have no idea how to use it.” 

with a loud bang, mingyu’s forehead met the table, which would definitely leave a small bump he’d make you kiss better later. huh, so he really gave up. 

“i don’t think i understand,” you crooked your head at him, pushing yours and his computers away, so you could lean over and place your hand at the nape of his neck. “kim mingyu, one of the best future architects, doesn't know how to use a spreadsheet?” your boyfriend was smart smart, there was no way he didn’t know a couple of formulas to sort out the data.

mingyu groaned loudly, and shook your hand off his neck. “don’t make fun of me baby,” with a whine, he lifted up his head, revealing big shiny puppy eyes, which were practically begging for your help. “as you said, i’m an architect, not a computer science guy!” he exclaimed, his lips turning more and more pouty with each word. 

for a person that loved to make fun of coups and his pout, it didn’t seem like mingyu realised how big of a pouty baby he was himself. 

“i don’t think you need to study computer science to know how to use a spreadsheet, gyu,” you said, and ran your thumb over his jutted out lip. “besides, you study maths and physics, shouldn’t you know how to use this kind of stuff?” 

“if this is your way of making me feel better it’s not working,” mingyu huffed, grabbing your hand in his. “and i really need to figure this out, but i have no idea how. i tried watching tutorials, but i still don’t get it. like, the more i try to understand it the less sense it actually makes,” his breath ghosted your knuckles, as his lips moved against your fingers.  “please tell me you’re an undercover tech guru, so you can do this for me. ” 

you gave mingyu’s hand a little squeeze, and took his computer with your free hand, sliding it over to your side of the table. 

“what are you doing?” he asked, confusion lacing his voice. 

you shook your head in amusement, and squeezed his hand once again, as you transferred all of the necessary data into a new, empty spreadsheet. “i may not be a tech guru as you called it, but it’s a good thing you have a super smart girlfriend,” you murmured, focused on the screen, “that knows the basics of how to use a spreadsheet.” 

you didn't have to look at mingyu to know that his eyes were wide and his mouth open in bewilderment - but it wasn't your fault - it's not like you ever had the opportunity to show off your skills before. besides, mingyu was so in love with you and he was so down bad that you didn't have to do anything special to make him look at you like you just invented a new element.

“it’s really not that hard, you just have to,” the quiet noise of you typing filled your living room for a moment, “you have to know which formals to use.” 

mingyu couldn’t tear his eyes off you. how in the world did he manage to bag a girl that was not only insanely beautiful, but also smart as hell? though he couldn’t see what exactly you were doing (not that he cared about that, he wouldn’t understand any of it anyway), mingyu was sure you were doing magic with those damn spreadsheets. 

“here,” you said with a proud smile a short while later, “is this what you were meant to do?” you turned the computer around for him to see the, yes - perfectly sorted data, just like his professor wanted them to be. 

“you are so fucking hot.” 

mingyu couldn’t help himself. he loved acting like he was the smartest in the room, but holy shit - his girlfriend was a genius, and he’d act all dumb just to have her fill out his spreadsheets. 

“you are literally the most amazing thing ever, baby,” mingyu breathed, still looking at you with disbelief. “so so smart, and so so mine.” 

you snickered, and threw a rolled up napkin at him. “calm down, gyu. that was nothing, seriously.” 

“nothing?!” he exclaimed, offended. “nothing, you say? so why was i struggling with it for the past hours?” 

“if you paid more attention in class i’m sure you’d manage perfectly on your own,” you said, suddenly shy under his stare. the lovesick look was truly overwhelming. “now, will i get something in return?” 

mingyu's expression suddenly seemed to change from pure surprise and admiration to something that pretty much resembled smugness. “what do you have in mind, princess?” he asked, crooking his head at you. 

you smiled and pointed your finger at your lips.

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[sanguineterrain]

for the dc prompts you reblogged:

can i request jason todd x reader "someone likes being pinned down" + A flirting with B while sparring to throw them off their tracks

where reader is also a vigilante??

thank you so much 🩷

very sexy prompts thank u 😌

jason todd x gn!reader. r and robin!jay were friends, r doesn't know jason is alive/red hood but jason knows r is a vigilante. r's alias is 'nocturne' (if that's already in use oh well lmao). fighting/sparring, jason is mega in love with you as usual!!

all fics at @sanguinelibrary

****

"Still blindly following the Bat, huh?"

You land in a crouch on the rooftop, just like how Nightwing taught you. The Red Hood doesn't look at you, digging through two duffel bags. He doesn't even draw his gun, like you've seen him do with virtually every other vigilante in Gotham.

You wait, ready to spring into action. But Hood doesn't stop what he's doing. Slowly, you rise.

"What... do you mean?" you ask.

"I mean, why are you traipsing around Gotham as a bat-adjacent? Who are you s'posed to be anyway? Goth Bat? Alternative Scene Bat?"

"I'm Nocturne," you say, shoulders rising to your ears. Rude. You thought the chunky boots and star over your suit's eye mask were inspired.

Red Hood lifts a hand. "Don't get me wrong, I dig the threads. I'm just surprised B didn't have an aneurysm over the sequins. Then again, Discowing did do it first..."

Your first two meetings with the infamous Red Hood have been similar in that he's never very concerned about you stopping him (ouch), but he also isn't callous or cruel with you like he is with the other vigilantes.

Case in point: the last person who cornered Hood on a roof was Red Robin. Hood shot him in the shoulder before he could land.

In short, he's perplexing as hell.

Batman's forbidden the rest of the team to confront Hood without backup. And you're technically not supposed to be on patrol tonight. But if you can intercept Hood, that'll be a huge win.

Hood keeps on packing the duffels. You hesitate, then step forward.

"Get away from the bags," you say. "I won't ask twice."

Hood looks at you. "Nocturne's a pretty cool name, I'll admit. And I like the boots. But I still think you oughta call it quits."

He zips up the bags, stands, and kicks them to the corner of the roof.

"Because you're just that unstoppable?" you ask, hands curling into fists.

"Yeah. But mostly 'cause I know you're made for so much more than this, sweetheart."

And that is the third and perhaps most bewildering thing about your encounters with Red Hood: you've gotten the creeping feeling that he... likes you.

Which is ridiculous, and if you ever breathed a word of that to anybody, Batman would probably check you into Arkham.

You take another careful step forward. Hood leans against the railing and folds his arms.

"This the part where you apprehend and hogtie me for innocently packing a duffel bag?" he asks.

You glare. "Innocent? I know you're making a weapons delivery because I know you've been waiting for Batman to be off-planet to make it."

"Clever. Told ya you're too good for this," Hood says. "Should be in college with those smarts, not playing maid for Batman."

"Are you lecturing me?"

"I'm advising you as your friendly neighborhood drug lord. Lecturing makes me sound like a guy who's got too much money and too big of a savior complex to understand that the way he fights injustice is fundamentally flawed."

"Sounds personal."

Hood laughs. "Honey, you have no idea."

You strike.

Hood parries your first attack easily, which you expect. The truth is that whoever trained Hood cut no corners and you're still relatively new at vigilantism. It's only by the grace of God that Hood hasn't left you to bleed out on a roof.

You kick his shin, but Hood turns on the instep and blocks. You go for his shoulder, where his armor separates to give him more movement. But Hood's ready for that too, and he catches your arm.

"Gotta keep that right arm up," he says. "Surprised no one's trained that outta you yet."

You elbow Hood in the throat. He coughs and lets go.

"Like that?" you ask, muscles tense with adrenaline.

Hood makes a sound that might be a laugh, still choked from your hit. "Just like that, honeylove. Good job."

"I don't need feedback," you snap, immediately going back in for another hit.

"Sorry. I'll make this quick then. I do have a delivery."

On the next strike, you advance, using a technique Nightwing drilled into your head for bigger opponents. Hood goes down and you land atop him.

"Oh, that's a Nightwing takedown if I've ever seen one," Hood says beneath you.

You're close enough that you can hear his breathing through the decoder. Pride swells in you at taking him down. Not even Batman has managed such a thing.

Hood is warm and big. His shoulder span alone dwarfs you. When you'd seen him from afar, fighting Batman or Nightwing, you'd been terrified.

But now, perhaps stupidly, you feel comfortable. Annoyed, but safe. Something about him reminds you of home. Makes your stomach flip in a good way.

Which is terrifying.

"You're coming with me," you say, reaching for your cuffs.

"If only. Unfortunately, you've forgotten a teensy weensy detail, dearest."

Hood bucks you off, legs first. Your feet fly into the air, which allows him to flip your positions. You wince, preparing for a concussion upon impact as you go down. But Hood cushions your fall and neatly rolls you over. Your back is pressed into the concrete, hands locked over your head. Hood's weight holds down your hips and legs.

He looms over you, easily holding you down. Your face grows hot.

"How did—" You squirm in his grip. "I had you!"

"Weight distribution, sweets. Tell Al—one of the Bats to add weight to your boots. They keep you light on your feet, but you were depending on them too much to hold me down, and we ain't evenly matched there."

You thrash in his grip. "Hood, I swear to fucking—"

"Easy. Don't sweat it, sweetheart. You haven't been doing this for very long. That was a good takedown, regardless. I'm impressed."

"Screw you."

He hums. You can tell he's smiling under the helmet. "Sorry, I forgot. You don't like feedback."

Hood strokes the inside of your wrist. You aren't sure he's aware he's doing it. His grip is firm but light. He's not trying to hurt you. Your pulse is in your throat.

For a moment, you're both still. Hood seems caught in a trance, like even Superman couldn't tear him away from this moment. From you. And it's not that you're afraid, you're just... you're...

"How do you know so much about me?" you blurt, because it's puzzled the whole team. "You been spying on me?"

"'Course not. Unlike your boss, I respect privacy. No, I did research. I recognized you from when you'd hang around that second Robin. Shrimpy little guy. What'd ya even see in him?"

The grief overtakes you before you can control your mouth.

"You don't know anything about me or him," you spit. "Don't fucking talk about him. He had more skill and goodness in his pinkie than you'll have in a lifetime. And you could learn a thing from him about changing a city. He'd tell you that fear alone never works."

Hood is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks.

"Where's your distress signal?"

"Why would I tell—"

Hood shifts over you, cutting off your reply. He pulls a ziptie around your wrists. They're not even a little tight. You could probably slip out of them if you had five minutes.

"I know you're not s'posed to be out tonight," he whispers in your ear. "'S not your patrol night. Good thing you're my favorite."

You nearly swallow your tongue. "How do you—I don't—"

"Uh-huh. So you be good from now on, yeah? Wouldn't wanna have to keep tying you up like this."

You lift your chin. "We'll switch positions soon enough."

Hood snorts. "Okay, I know you heard how that soun—"

"I heard it," you say grumpily. "Just get on with it. Jerk."

"As you wish. Distress signal?"

"Collar."

Hood presses the button under your collar. Your breath hitches as his gloved fingers graze your neck.

"Oh? Does somebody like getting pinned down?"

"In your dreams."

Hood laughs. He zipties your ankles last, then sits you upright against the railing.

"Not too tight, are they?" he asks. "I know you've got a circulation problem."

You squint. "You seem to know a lot about me. Not fair that I don't know much about you, Hood."

"'S just business, honeylove," he says, scooping up his duffel. "Now I don't wanna see you in a suit anymore, comprende?"

"Or you'll what? Shoot me?"

Hood pauses, eerily still. He turns those glowing white eyes upon you. Your heart picks up.

"No," he says, so serious it startles you. "But someone else might. And I don't want you to face the same fate as your good friend Robin."

He vaults over the railing before you can respond. Your head thunks lightly as you lean back and wonder if you're really just business to the Red Hood.

(pt 2)

[chaniceroses]

Bad Boys Ride or Die (Armando x Reader) PART SEVEN

The sun is barely out now while the darkness is slowly covering the sky. You’re seeing shadows within the woods, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It’s getting cold and you’re probably about a mile away from where Mike, Marcus and Armando were. You’re starting to regret walking away from them but what else were you supposed to do. Sit around and let McGrath find you since that’s what he’s been doing.

So you kept walking until you heard a soft sound of wood snapping which made you turn around. You couldn’t really see so you just stared into the abyss. Someone was most definitely there, the thought of it maybe being McGrath crossed your mind.

“Reveal yourself, I don’t have time for the games.”, you sighed trying to see past the trees. At this point the sun was completely gone and the moon was shining. Allowing you to see a tall dark figure move from behind the tree. You watched as the person started taking small steps towards you, it was Armando. Turning back around, you started to walk again when you noticed that the sound of branches and leaves started happening rapidly. He was running towards you so you started running too. Now we can play his games. You ran as fast as you could to get away from him, making random turns to confuse him. 

“Y/n! Stop!”He screamed while chasing you but you kept running. You tried picking up speed but were too tired so you stopped.

“Armando, have you been following me the whole fucking time.”, you asked,looking at him as he is also out of breath while walking up to you. You knew he was but wanted to play dumb, it was better that way.

“Y/n,you’re a smart girl, you knew that I was.”, he responded back pointing at you. You didn’t like how easy he could read you. How he knows you so well without really knowing you.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone man. I don’t need you.”, you knew that was a lie but it was better to say that then have Armando and the others involved in your mess when the whole purpose with us being out here is to prove Howard’s innocence.

He looked down at you, although you couldn’t entirely see his face, his eyes nearly glowed in the dark. “I don’t make promises at all because things always happen but you can trust me. Even if I don’t like you. I wouldn’t want my…a woman out here by herself. No matter what kind of “killer” I am.”, he explained, going off. He was mad and you could tell. His eyebrows were now caved in and you could tell that his breathing had picked up in speed.

You looked down and grabbed his hand and caressed his forearm. You weren’t sure whether to trust him or not, but you had no choice. You knew it would be a death sentence if you went to McGrath by yourself. You turned to look to the side and saw how you guys were overpowered by darkness, so you accepted your loss.

ARMANDO’S    POV

I watched as she looked around while rubbing my arm. Her hands were soft and her touch was making my friend smile. I could tell that she didn’t want to go back but honestly, she had no choice. I wouldn’t have allowed her to walk out here by herself, I would be a fool. 

“Come back with me, please.”, I begged. Me…Armando…Begging, this is new. 

She turned around and was now looking up at me. Her skin was as smooth as the night time, while her eyes twinkled. Damn, she’s sexy and the way she stares. I would love to see her staring at me from a different position.

“Focus.”, I whispered to myself. I watched as her facial expression changed from being worried to now being confused. Think of something.

“You..need to focus.”, I added, trying to come up with something. I watched as she shook her head in agreement.

“Well, show me the way.”, she replied, letting go of my arms and folding hers. I turned around and started heading towards  the direction that we came from. 

“Do you remember the way?”, she asked following behind me. Honestly, I didn’t but I also know that if Marcus and Mike did what they were supposed to do. We should be seeing a small fire from a distance.

“Yeah so come hold my hand so you won’t get lost.”, I commanded, handing my hand out behind me for her to grab. I was afraid that she would be hesitant to do so and for a second, all I could feel was air going in between my fingers. However once she connected her hands with mine, I could feel the warmth from our bodies connecting. It made me feel odd, a feeling I've never felt before. 

After a couple turns and a couple minutes of running, I spotted Marcus and Mike near the fire that I told them to make. We eventually met up with them and were greeted by the sounds of the woods. Not a single word was said. We both sat down, Y/n and I on one log and Marcus and Mike on the other. We could see each other clearly now due to the fire blooming out.

“So you’ve come back.”, Mike whispered looking at y/n across the fire. 

I watched as Marcus turned at Mike and whispered something to him. Y/n just stared. I wasn’t sure if she was looking at Mike or looking at the fire that was right in front of him. All I know is that she wasn’t here.

“Yeah, so what?”, she answered, still keeping her eyes at whatever she was looking at.

“What the hell is going on?!”Mike yelled, standing up while looking at every person.

“Calm down!”I yelled back. I didn’t like how he was talking to her. We all go through shit and lose people but he was attacking her for no reason.

“Seriously, this isn’t needed right now but Armando and y/n we do need answers.”, Marcus added, looking at Mike and then at y/n and I.

I turned to look at y/n, I didn’t know as much as they think I do. I wanted answers also and even personal questions to ask.

“Okay.”, she whispered looking up at Mike and then Marcus. “I say this one time and one time only with no disrespect added because I’ll be damned.”, she continued pointing at Mike and then at the log underneath him

  I watched as Mike sat down. I could tell she was sick of Mike shit because I was too. I watched as she moved her eyes to look off into the abyss within the woods, maybe trying to figure out what to say.

“My name is Y/N Smith. However, when I was undercover while working with the Cartel, I was known as Rose and was extremely close with everyone that did business within it. So I made sure that only the heads would know what I looked liked and that no one knew my real name. ”, she explained, looking at us. 

“You’re Rose…Rose Gonzalez? How did you keep your identity a secret for so long?”Mike asked, looking at her and then at me.

“Wait…you worked with my mom?”I asked, turning to look at her. At this point we were all searching for answers.  

“ I stayed hidden because I killed anyone who wasn't supposed to see me or would tell. So I guess you could say I have a lot of blood on my hands.”, she whispered, turning her hands around to look at her palms.

“I knew that you were undercover Mike because I had worked with you. We just had never met. Same with you, Armando.”, she answered, turning to look at me. I could see regret fill her eyes, what else was she holding back?

“The operation that Mike was working on, blew up in my face at the wrong time. So I had to actually become a boss in order for my identity not to be revealed because they were killing their own people to figure out who was undercover.”

“I remember that happening…someone was talking to me on the phone while I did it.”, I replied, reminiscing about it. My mind started playing back to that night, I was on the phone with a woman and she was calling all of the shots and was paying me heavy money for it.

“So, that was you that night?”I asked, keeping my attention on her. I could tell she was becoming uncomfortable with talking about her past, maybe this is why she’s been all over the place.

“This is starting to make sense but…how does this correlate with you and McGrath and Howard? How did you know him?"Mike interrogated, scratching the back of his head.

" I met your mom while she was in prison, a little before we helped her get out and with McGrath... He came up to me and introduced himself to me. At first, I was afraid, thinking it could be a set up with how deep I had gotten to my role but after a while of seeing him, I became drawn towards him. That deep harsh voice that he has, kind of like yours Armando besides the accent, pulled me in.”, she explained, grabbing the rocks that were by her feet.

“So it was one of those falling in love bullshit.”, I scoffed, rubbing the back of my neck but blushing at the fact she mentioned my accent. I watched as she snapped her head to look at me really fast. I couldn’t help but to feel jealous inside but the pieces are connecting between her and McGrath.

“It wasn’t bullshit at the time. I was hooked, although I was young, very young. And me being with him, made him look like a pervert. I was genuinely hooked.”

“I guess you can say she’s a"DILF ".”, Marcus laughed 

I wasn’t sure how to respond to his comment, I thought it was kind of disrespectful knowing what she’s been through. “So what happened for him to hate you.”, I asked, shifting my whole body towards her. I wanted to know every detail about their relationship, her past. I wanted her and I wanted to fill and complete her. Sexually and Spiritually.

“He proposed to me about a year and a half later. I was terrified because he never knew that I was undercover, and I didn’t want to get a random citizen involved. It was things within that nature that I had to think about…”

“Did you say yes?”Mike questioned moving away from Marcus to sit next to the log that was near y/n.

He was intrigued by her past, I could tell by the way he was leaning in towards her. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t too.

“I did, and I knew I was asking for a death sentence but I had no choice but to say yes.”, she replied, shaking her head. She didn't acknowledge anyone’s presence anymore, she was just talking and listening to the questions that were being asked.

“I was pregnant and I had told him, some may think he proposed to lock me down but I look at it as him genuinely loving me however, you never know with men…”

You’d know with me…

“Okay so this makes sense but still…with Howard death, and  McGrath hating you? You had to have done something.”Marcus interrogated standing up.

“I knew about you being an undercover Mike, I just never said anything because you would’ve been killed plus Howard told me so once your operation was a success with Armando’s mother being sent to prison, it became a death trap for everyone else who were still in hiding. Which is what had happened. I didn’t know that McGrath was a D.E.A Agent, I had no clue.”, she whispered.

At this point, I could tell that she was on the verge of tears. The jealousy that I once had in my body was now turning soft. I slightly moved my head to Marcus and Mike to see them looking at her with sympathy.

“I had called the heads and formed a meeting so that we could talk about Armando’s mom being sent to prison. At this point of time, I was passed being undercover, I was drawn in. I wanted her out so that’s when I called you, Armando, and formed a plan but while I was on the phone with you, the other Cartel members brought in McGrath, which left me so confused, which is why I had randomly hung up.”, she replied, getting up to pace back and forth.

“I thought…I thought maybe he followed me because from time to time I made it hard for him to see me ....so that he could be safe y’know.  I never knew that he was an undercover agent. He would talk to me about things that he would do and feed me fun facts that had honestly helped me with my operation, however it never got to me that he was being literal because he would always laugh. So when he and his team showed up, there was nothing that I could do. I couldn’t help because that would’ve gotten me killed so I sent them to one of the rooms for them to be dealt with.”, she cried, shaking her head back and forth.

I stood up, and grabbed her to embrace her with a hug. I wasn’t used to having sympathy for others but y/n was different and I didn’t care about the  stupid expression that was on Mike and Marcus faces. I just knew that she needed to be comforted and I was going to be the one to do that.

I lifted her chin so that she could look up at me. Her cheeks were wet from the tears that ran down it so I took off my orange prison shirt, exposing my entire upper body and wiped her face with it. I figured it would be the littlest things that counted.

“Are we…interrupting anything?”Marcus coughed, throwing his shoulders at Mike.

“Yeah…I’m wondering the same thing.”, Mike replied, looking at him.

I watched as Y/n grabbed my hand and stopped me from wiping her cheeks. Was she embarrassed that I was consoling her? 

“Thank you Armando but just stop. I don’t need sympathy, I just need you guys to listen, okay”, she sighed moving across the fireplace. I watched as she sat on the other side alone, so much for me trying to help.

“After I sent them into one of the rooms, I figured that they would be just beaten because I didn’t tell the others, who were allowed to be in the room with me, to kill them. But when I went to check to get information out of them, they were all dead except McGrath. Their heads were cut off and they kept McGrath alive to torture him.”, she continued, leaning her weight towards the back of the log.

“So that’s why he hates you, you chose yourself over love.”, I whispered, looking over at her. I saw as she looked over defeatedly. I wasn’t sure if that was a smart decision or a dumb one. She was young and alone, surrounded by Cartels, but that’s no excuse because  if that was me, I would’ve done something to save the person that I love. I guess we're two different people.

“He was so mad at me for my decision that it took me a while to get some information out of him, however, I eventually got it and allowed him to tell the Cartel about Mike’s operation and those who were involved so that they can let him go, which they did.”, she continued, shrugging her shoulders.

I could see that she was slowly starting to accept what had happened, which was good but I couldn’t help thinking about the decision that she made. Was it really worth it? I turned my attention to her stomach after realizing that she mentioned about her being pregnant. She must’ve been watching because she looked down also and touched her stomach.

“Yeah after he was free, and the Cartel started moving around. The word got out fast about how they were going to move and I knew that they were slowly growing suspicious about me so I went to my house off the coast to get my things to try to leave.”

“He was there wasn’t he.”, Marcus said looking at her.

“Yep, he was there and I didn’t know. I was on the phone with Howard to let him know where I was going and to tell my team to get me a new name ready with a fake background. He snuck up on me and shot me in the back twice.”, she replied standing up, while pulling her pants off her hips to reveal the two scars on her lower back. 

My heart sank, making me remember the promise that I told her earlier. I for sure was going to make sure that I keep it now.

“Yep, Howard heard it all and everything that McGrath was saying. McGrath took my phone and looked through all of my documents while i layed on the ground crying. I watched him leave at some point and I don’t know what happened after that, all I know is that I woke up in the hospital with heavy security and Howard. He was there the whole time for me while I mourned. Since then, I've been trying to figure out what to do, so that’s why Howard said what he said in the video.”

“And that being about McGrath?”Mike muttered, fidgeting his fingers. 

“Majority of it, yes. The rest is just personal, you know, starting a new peaceful life…getting married, having kids.”, she blushed looking at Marcus and then at Mike.

“She should be looking at me, I can give her that.”, I thought while watching her blush. Settling down has crossed my mind before, maybe I can do that with her. If she doesn’t continue to play hard to get. Decisions.

“Thanks for explaining everything to us, y/n. We appreciate that.”, Marcus smiled while nodding his head up and down.

“Yes…thank you and y/n, I’m sorry.”Mike apologized,  getting up and walking towards her. You watched as she got up and looked at him while he went up to her. Was she going to accept it? Or maybe make him get on his knees? Hell, I know I would for her.

“It’s okay, pull that shit again and you’re dead…”, she replied, looking at him as he threw his hand out for a handshake. I watched as he laughed and as she stared right into his eyes. She wasn’t kidding.

“I’m not joking, I will.”, she repeated this time, grabbing his hand and shaking it.

I could see Mike's face switch from laughing to serious within a second. I loved how serious of a person she is and the dominant personality follows after that. It made me want to be submissive, just for her and to make the thing between my legs cry.

I watched as she let go of Mike’s hand and started walking away.

“Where are you going?”I asked, standing up alarmingly. She said nothing, until she went and sat in front of a tree then leaned her head against it. I just watched, looking out into the thin air to be sure that no one was around her.

“What?”, she laughed, folding her arms while adjusting herself against the tree. She was tired and we were out in the woods with chilling temperatures so I knew it would be hard for her to get comfortable.

“Armando can we—”, before Mike could finish his sentence I got up and walked over to y/n. I couldn’t help it, I felt drawn towards her. The need to protect her and to make sure she was comfortable and safe. 

“What do you want Armando, I’m done talking.”, she sighed, removing her head from against the tree. I could tell that she was sleepy and that she was getting annoyed with the fact that I kept messing with her. Her eyebrows began to droop inward and she was looking up at me with her low eyes while her head was leaned all the way back. Perfect position but the wrong time.

“Don’t act like you’re annoyed with me, baby.”, I flirted squatting down to her level to be eye to eye with her. I watched as she covered her mouth while she smiled and then quickly frowned.

“No seriously, what is it?”

“Here, put this on.”, I demanded, handing her my shirt.

“What about you?”, she asked, pointing to my exposed body. Honestly, I was a little cold but I'd rather her wear it than me.

“I’m going to sleep next to the fire but first I'm going to talk to Mike unless you want me to keep you warm.”, I replied putting my shirt over her head, allowing her to put her arms through the sleeves.

“Goodnight, Armando…”, she smirked, leaning up to kiss me on my forehead and then laying back against the tree. The way she says my name, made me shy and bubbly on the inside. 

“Get a fucking room!”Mike yelled, antagonizing y/n and I while Marcus chuckled.

“Shut the hell up Mike!!!”, y/n and I yelled in unison which led to us laughing.

It felt good to hear laughter coming out of everyone’s mouths, especially knowing that in the next couple of hours. We will have to find help and eventually  kill McGrath. I playfully slapped y/n on her thigh and walked away. Mike called my name earlier so I knew that he was going to be up a little longer talking. I had been dreading this conversation with him, it’s my first time actually communicating and being around him.

I sat on the opposite side of the lit fire so I could watch y/n sleep. For the rest of the night, Mike, Marcus and I talked about Mike’s and I’s relationship and how we were going to help Howard and y/n. Truth be told, Howard wasn’t my priority anymore. Y/n was. I want her to live a life that she deserves, and I am going to make sure that she does, whether me or McGrath dies in the process.

[kissitbttr]

ana babes, i'm stuck in the library studying my ass off but my thoughts always seem to go to fucking frat miguel between the shelves for a quick study break ☹️☹️☹️☹️

-sapphic loser

“i said no, miguel”

he whines, dropping his forehead down on the open book while stomping his foot down like a little boy earning a warning glance from someone who passes by,

“why nooot”

“do you even have to ask?! we’re in a library dumbass. control your dick for one second”

“how am i supposed to do that when you’re sitting in front of me?” he argues, “looking all cute and pouty.. makes me want to bang you all the time”

“miguel!” you warn with a groan, face heating up at his words, “we literally had sex this morning. twice, if i may add. i’m sure you can handle another two hours of you not being inside me”

miguel scoffs, his expression twists into something more looking in disbelief. as if it’s ridiculous for you to assume that,

his arms are crossed, leaning back against the chair with his knee bouncing rapidly. “this is boring”

“i didn’t ask you to come here, miguel. i told you to hang out with the boys didn’t i?”

“they’re being annoying right now”

you give him a look that says ‘and you’re not?’ which causes him to roll his eyes before pouting. “we can go do it three rows behind, baby. no one will notice”

his fingers reaching out underneath the table to play with the skirt of your dress. feeling his touch a little bit further and further which causes you to glare at him,

“jeez—you are no fun” he huffs, wincing when you knock his feet with yours. “i thought my girl would be an exhibitionist—but nope! i thought wrong”

“are you serious?!”you give him a deadpan look, dropping the pen on the table. “we literally fucked at your dad’s office at thanksgiving! that, and also the jacuzzi sex when we had had a ski trip with our friends?! you losing your fucking memory or what?”

that doesn’t seem to phase him enough, just shrugging his shoulders as he look down on your cleavage fingers tapping against the wooden table,

“doesn’t count in my opinion. there weren’t people there”

“god! miguel you are so—

-

“—fucking big, miggy!” desperate moan falls of your lips as he has you pinned against one of the bookshelf, “don’t stop, p-please”

yeah, you decide to give in to his suggestion seeing how it didn’t stop him from bothering you. letting him choose the perfect spot where no one else can see. thankfully, there aren’t a lot of people in the library so it was easy. the main task was to hide from the old librarian lady that never seemed to like the two of you,

his pants are hanging low by the hips whilst your dress is bunched up around the waist. full breasts spilling out of the cups making miguel feel dizzy at the euphoric sight of his girlfriend getting fucked.

miguel’s bulky arms holding you by the thighs as his cock plunges deep into your wet hole. his gaze falls upon your open mouth and down to your bouncing tits, leaning forward to take a nipple between his teeth,

“f-fuck, right there baby—shit” you whisper moan, back arching at the feeling of your sensitive bud getting chewed on. tangling your hands through his hair, tugging it

“puta madre you’re going to be the death of me” he comments with a groan, driving in a bit faster, chest pressing against yours as he tells you to hold onto him tightly. “didn’t i tell you this was a good idea?”

your eyes snap open, seeing that cocky smirk that quirks upon his lips. giving him a light scowl. “don’t be a fucking smart ass. you were just horny”

miguel chuckles deeply, giving you a long sloppy kiss on the mouth, licking your lower lip. “open wide, princesa” he orders with a small tap on your cheek. he grins when you obey him fast, tongue out. miguel spits his drool a bit down to your warm muscle, watching you giggle and close your mouth before swallowing it,

god, you’re so fucking sexy it’s driving him insane,

“almost there, baby?” you nod at the question, locking your legs around him a bit tighter. “fuck—me too—shit, shit”

it is far too impossible to contain your moans, especially you. which is why when you’re about to cum, miguel has to muffle your noises with his palm to keep the security and librarian coming to get the two of you busted. and it is irritating to miguel because he loves your noises. he loves hearing how good he makes you feel,

“cum for me, sweetheart—give it to me” he whispers lowly in your ear, one hand moving to reach the nape of your neck as his other still holding onto your thigh. he’a fucking you even faster that you feel the large shelf behind you is shaking quite rapidly.

“thaaat’s it— that’s it muñeca , oh fuck—fuck, i’m g-gonna—“

he cuts himself off once you both reach your high not a moment after. his cum painting the inside of your velvet walls as you coat his cock with yours. his thrusts are getting sloppy when he’s slowing down. miguel is trying to catch his breath as he watches your head falling back to catch yours. eyeing the beautiful sight before him.

he palms your cheek, thumb grazing against both of your lips making you kiss it. your eyes finding his and flashing him a shy grin.

“muy hermosa” he pecks your lips, “perfecto” your cheek, “mi cariño” one underneath the jawline. “and all mine”

his praises are making you giggle, arms circled around his neck as he helps you get down slowly and fix your dress before fixing his pants,

“i needed that, baby—thank you” you reach on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, but that doesn’t stop miguel from pulling you in to give you a real kiss. his hands kneading your ass. as if the fucking before isn’t enough. “okay, okay—baby—sto-oh!” you try to stifle the laughs when he moves down to kiss your neck, the stubble on his chin tickling you,

“can’t get enough of you, muñeca—shit—i’d give up everything for you, you know that?”

“hmm—even football and OBJ?” you jokingly ask, eyebrow twitching as you feel him freeze and pull away with a slight offended look,

“know your limits, baby”

[qqueenofhades]

One of my biggest annoyances is leftists and communists beinging up Biden’s tweets during the 2020 campaign of things he said he would do, and being like “see?? he didn’t deliver on anything and this is why you shouldn’t vote for the Dems again” Like, for all the understanding they seem to have of communist or marxist or whatever theory, the idea that the President is not a king and can’t do whatever he wants without Congress’s approval is lost on them?? He still believes in those things but if Congress won’t pass the legislation what is he supposed to do? EOs won’t solve all our problems.

Yeah. Not even to mention, the claim that "Biden hasn't done/delivered anything!!!" is a big fat lie, as people keep pointing out the things he has done, with a razor-thin House majority (until 2022) and two "Democratic" senators who torpedoed everything and one of whom has now literally left the party (Manchin and Sinema). So while Online Leftists obviously don't understand the difference between "achieving all of his campaign goals" and "achieving some," for the last frikkin time, Biden has done a lot of good things in very bad circumstances!!!!!! Using "he didn't do everything!!!!" as an excuse to not vote and so enable the open and unrepentant fascists is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard!!!!

Like. Take the debt deal. As in other things, Biden clearly learned from Obama's mistake (which was believing that the Republicans would ever negotiate in good faith about anything, and/or would reciprocate in kind if Biden made concessions). McCarthy whined for WEEKS that Biden wasn't listening and wasn't talking to him and wasn't entertaining his ridiculous proposals (22% cuts in ALL discretionary/non-military spending, including Social Security, Medicare, etc etc, while preserving the giant Trump tax cuts for the rich.) No matter that a full one-quarter of the national debt ($7.8 trillion of $31 trillion) was racked up under Trump and the debt ceiling involves paying bills that have already been spent. No sir, those Damn Free-Spending Democrats wanted to use your money on icky things like ~social welfare!! It was mean and it was hypocritical and it was blindingly obvious, and Biden just completely ignored it. He didn't try to negotiate in good faith with that, because there was no way it would work. He just let them whine.

Then, when it came down to it, Biden went in and got a deal that preserves pretty much all of the Democrats' major legislative priorities and expansions from the last two years. The only real change is raising the work requirement age for childless adults on SNAP food assistance from 49 to 54, but this has also been accompanied by a corresponding expansion of the definition "homeless" to make more people eligible, some for the first time ever. There's not going to be any major new spending for the next two years, but that wasn't happening anyway since the GOP controls the House and wouldn't agree to anything Biden put in the budget (and plus, none of the money that has already been allocated through the American Rescue Plan and other federal assistance is getting taken away). But more importantly, it raises the debt ceiling for the next TWO years and it won't come up again until after 2024. That is HUGE: the GOP really, REALLY wanted to hold the economy hostage again prior to the next presidential election. But Biden basically went in and told McCarthy to stfu and got what he wanted. Qevin was even forced, after months of "Sleepy Joe" GOP propaganda, to call Biden "very smart and very tough" in the negotiations. Soooo.

Anyway, this is what I mean: this isn't as sexy and/or as utterly fucking useless as spouting lukewarm rebaked "Marxist" propaganda on the Twittermachine about how Biden hasn't done anything, but it's the actual nitty-gritty work of government and flat-out beating the Republicans. They got absolutely shit-all that they wanted, because Biden didn't fall for their same old, same old dirty tricks and disingenuous squealing. He went in, got the job done, and will get way less credit for it than he deserves, from anyone. Dunno about you, but I like that guy. I plan to vote for him again.

[ryuichirou]

Aphrodisiac/womb tattoo HCs

So we had these two wonderful asks from two wonderful Anons…

Anonymous asked:

this is lowkey cursed and i’m sorry… but how would the twst boys act if they ingested an aphrodisiac??? like the sexy soup scene from danganrompa 2? (rip ortho lmao)

i love the content, thank you for doing these hcs for us all !!! :D 🖤🖤🖤

Anonymous asked:

I wanted to say that just like that other Anon the Idia womb tattoo comic lives rent free in my head. Any headcanons for how some other characters would react to having a womb tattoo/consequences of having one ;)

And I’ve been going back and forth thinking whether I should write these as two separate lists or not: despite these two technically being different prompts, the end result is somewhat similar… So I decided to combine them, but specify the possible changing elements as much as possible! I hope it’s okay with you.

I’ll also talk about both tops and bottoms because I have seen some djs in which the top gets the tattoo and it just manifests in an uncontrollable desire to impregnate someone lol And sexy soup doesn’t discriminate, so neither will we >:3

Thank you so much for your patience, your asks and for enjoying our stuff. Let’s dive in.

Riddle – he would be so helpless. If he knows for a fact that there is a culprit to this (i.e. Ace added something to his tea, or someone casted a spell that came out wrong), he’ll take their head off. Then he’ll try to fix himself with magic or some other potion, but he’ll just end up significantly enhancing the effect of the spell/potion somehow. He’ll try to go to infirmary next, but will collapse on the floor helpless and horny until someone picks him up… imagine trying to help out your strict and proper housewarden just to hear him whispering something uncharacteristically horny to your ear because his womb tattoo is so bright you can see it through his west/the aphrodisiac effect is so strong he is drooling.

Ace – his go-to would be to lock himself in their dorm room and start masturbating lol but it won’t help him because the aphrodisiac is strong/the womb tattoo won’t go away until he actually inseminates someone. In his perfect world this condition of his would be a secret, but he is loud af, so people will absolutely hear him yelling “why doesn’t it go away??” from the other room. Pray for any guy who walks on him trying to fix this thing himself: Ace is desperate, he doesn’t care who this is anymore…

Deuce – he’ll 100% try to isolate himself, and he’ll do a better job at keeping it a secret than Ace (completely terrified of the possibility of being made fun of)… at first. After he masturbates and touches himself down there 34 times (HOW MANY TIMES??), and realises that he just keeps teasing himself and feeling even worse, he’ll bite the bullet and go ask for help. He won’t go to Ace though, he’s more likely to ask a senpai if he knows how to fix this… maybe Trey. He is smart.

Trey – he’ll instantly figure out what this is, and pretty quickly realise that this is probably the result of some kitchen or lab accident… he’ll miraculously manage to conceal his boner for an entire day, trying to solve the mystery of how the fuck is he supposed to get rid of it if masturbating would only make it worse. Then he’ll begrudgingly accept the fact that he has to have sex for this to go away, start thinking about every possible “safe” candidate… and end up fucking Riddle, which is the least safe option out of all of them lol but he got way too horny by the end of the day.

Cater – he’ll lie about feeling unwell and hide in his room. Then he’ll try to google either the spell itself (he’ll only find doujins lol) or some ways to get rid of the aphrodisiac’s effect, but it wouldn’t help much because to do anything he would have to leave his bed. He’ll try sleeping it off, but then wake up in the middle of the night feeling worse than ever with his sheets completely wet and his dick hard and red. He’ll probably go out of his room and jump the first guy he sees, pushing him against the wall just so he doesn’t see who is touching him. He won’t remember much about it afterwards… was it a dream?

Leona – he doesn’t have time for this bullshit: the moment he notices something shiny under his belly button, he’ll know what to do. It is very humiliating, but you know what’s more humiliating? Suffering with this shit for an entire day. So he’ll just call Ruggie and demand for him to cum inside until the tattoo is “filled” and goes away. Or until he sweats off all the aphrodisiac juices…

Ruggie – to him it’s a huge bummer that messes with his plans a lot. He’ll try to power through this, but he won’t be able to. This is the first time in Ruggie’s life when he wants to have sex because of horniness and not because of the perks it would give him. He would start sniffing the other beastmen sneakily, thankfully, they wouldn’t expect anything shady from him… he’ll probably end up being saved by Leona though, who yoinked him at the very last moment before Ruggie tried to pounce on some huge dog guy. Being horny makes you stupid.

Jack – he’ll try very hard to tolerate and hide it, but he won’t be able to :( He’ll start pacing around, panting with his tongue out, drooling, sniffing everyone… not to mention, the bulge is huge and very obvious. Sometimes the tattoo would randomly get shinier and stronger, and Jack would barely hold back the urge to hump the closest thing next to him. At some point he’ll give up and go to the infirmary, but will see Deuce before he manages to. He’ll breed him for 4 hours.

Azul – he is way too proud to ask for help, he’ll hide in his room for an entire day and refuse to leave his desk lol it’s so obvious he is hiding something under the table. He’ll be so irritable for an entire day, he’ll snap at everyone to leave him alone and get back to work… He is very good with spells and potion, so he’ll also try to fix it himself, but will also make it significantly worse. His only option is to demand the Tweels to bring him Idia without explaining anything…

Floyd – he’ll try to fight it for like 30 minutes because he didn’t want to get a boner wtf. He has no shame, so he’ll show the tattoo to everyone and poke it a lot. But he’ll get tired of it pretty quickly; so while Azul and Jade were discussing what they could do to help Floyd out and whether they should collect his saliva to study the aphrodisiac, Floyd just went and fucked someone. What? He wanted to.

Jade – it's definitely an uncomfortable sensation and he’ll try to get rid of asap, but… maybe he could show it to Azul and politely ask for a day-off, just so Azul yells at him to go away and not come back until that thing is gone? Maybe he’ll do that. And then he’ll think about who he would like to fuck, since he has this perfect excuse of “oh I am sorry, I can’t quite control myself”. Who would be the most inconvenienced but would have the most interesting reactions? Much to think about on his day-off.

Kalim – come on now, is there any other possible scenario? Of course he’ll wake up with a fever and a huge boner, all sweaty and in agony, and Jamil will lose 10 years of his life worrying about someone poisoning Kalim. He’ll make him drink 30 antidotes, and none of them would work because this isn’t poison, it’s an aphrodisiac… or a womb tattoo, which isn’t much better. So of course he’ll end up jerking Kalim off, and then having sex with him because Kalim would get so clingy that it’ll become obvious that there is only one way to save his life. Jamil will believe that it was necessary to save Kalim’s life for his own sanity…

Jamil – did he catch it from Kalim?? Anyways, he is less likely to use Kalim for this lol And he’ll also figure out pretty quickly that neither potions nor spells would make him less horny. Despite not liking the scenario at all, he’ll start convincing himself that maybe if he uses snake whisper no one would ever know about what he did…and as he starts rationalising this, he’ll get hornier and hornier in anticipation. But Jamil wouldn’t be Jamil if things went as he planned, so he’ll end up stumbling upon Azul. In such state... Jamil has never felt like he was actively leaking before… is this the worst day of Jamil’s life? Or the best day of Azul’s?

Vil – see, in theory he wouldn’t have any problems at all: all he needs to do is to excuse himself, call for Rook and be done in 20 minutes, but Vil is just as unlucky as Jamil sometimes, so it will happen at the worst time possible. Was there something in his drink? Did someone curse him in a sneaky way? Anyways, being around a bunch of sweaty guys for an entire hour of PE in that state was horrible. He was hugging his stomach and trying to sit down as much as he could for this entire time, crossing his legs and feeling very hot in his clothes. At some point he felt like he undressed completely and made his state visible to everyone, but thankfully it was just a hallucination. That scared him so much that jumped Rook the moment he saw him after class.

Rook – now this is someone who will enjoy the feeling of eagerness and horniness lol He’ll get interested in how much his body could endure without stimulation at that state. He is used to waiting out until certain poisons effect wear off, but this one is special – it doesn’t, it only gets stronger! So yeah he did a very stupid thing by waiting out for 3 days because by the time it became impossible to tolerate, Rook became delirious. Whoever he’ll jump in this state will be in his bed for a day.

Epel – he would be so horribly embarrassed and wouldn’t want to tell, but he is way too obvious. He would wiggle on his chair, be restless, pant and moan quietly, grab his stomach randomly. He would also stare a lot, especially if this is during the Magift Practice. He would transform into a “head-empty bimbo” lol Now is he going to get loved by the entire Magift team or is Rook going to take him back to Pomefiore to look into what’s wrong with him? Who knows.

Idia – we already know what would happen to him lol I’ll just add that he is probably going to try out having sex with Ortho first, but since Ortho’s seed doesn’t fill the “tank” that is Idia’s womb tattoo, he’ll just fuck his brother in vain. At least he enjoyed it, right?~

Ortho – human!Ortho that is (sorry, Danganronpa references…). Honestly, I feel like he’ll just cling to Idia instantly lol He won’t even consider an option of trying out any other remedy. If he feels himself burning with desire down there, he’ll just jump Idia and act all cutely, maybe even whine a little about how Idia is the only one who can help him. But despite being all cute and whiny, he’ll say pretty cursed stuff about producing offsprings with his niichan while fucking him. Afterwards he just shrugs and says that he doesn’t remember saying that but… Idia would be so shocked though: he didn’t know so much cum could fit into his body. He is terrified to look down.

Lilia – he would sigh and say that he is he too old for this, and that he haven’t felt like that in 300 years. He is not as strongly affected as he would if he was a bit younger, but the spell still won’t go away until he does anything to it. So he’ll just fly to his boys, pull up his shirt and playfully ask about who is in the mood to help him out; visually he would be completely unfazed, even if his dick would bulge in an obscene manner. Then again, he might also try showing it to Idia first because they had a conversation about this thing one time, and Idia thought that Lilia was joking when he said that he had experienced the tattoo before…

Silver – he’ll try to tolerate it. This isn’t the first time he has to tolerate the feeling of horniness, even though it usually isn’t this extreme + the tattoo is troubling. If it doesn’t go away by the end of the day (and it won’t), he’s likely show it to Lilia, but even before Lilia says something about the tattoo, Silver’s body would react to him just being in the same room. Silver will drop his head on Lilia’s shoulder and moan quietly, shaking a lot. This would surprise Lilia, but it’s all good, he’ll help out~

Sebek – he’ll also try to tolerate it because he is another “If I keep ignoring it maybe it will go away” type. He can’t talk to anyone about this, he can’t be seen like this! But he is absolutely going to: the boy is way too obvious. Similarly to Jack, he’ll get very red and start panting, almost crawling instead of walking. Is he hiding his boner or is his body not listening to him anymore? Your guess is as good as mine. But he will be as helpless as he would be dangerous because it will take only about 40 minutes of trying to endure this for him to start jumping on people.

Malleus – now this one is trouble; technically he is the only person in NRC that is powerful enough to neutralise the womb tattoo all by himself + his dragon blood would probably filter out the aphrodisiac very quickly if he wanted to, but… would he want it? He’ll think about it for a couple of hours while wandering around abandoned buildings, and then the heat and pain would get too annoying, but the thought of responding to and fulfilling this growing desire would start sounding kind of good in his head. Whether it’s Lilia or Sebek, whoever he sees first, would have the absolute honour of making sure Malleus’ body is satisfied. Pray for both of them because Malleus’ demands are insane: for the aphrodisiac to dissipate or the womb tattoo to be filled, it would take him 5 times the time that is usually necessary. He could even prolong it if he enjoyed it too much and didn’t want it to end. Technically. Not saying he is going to.

[best-overplayed-song]

As someone who never understood the hype around Take Me To Church and keeps forgetting that song even exists, can I ask the fans what exactly it is you like about that song? Because my current hypothesis is that yall were around 14 when it came out and music just hits different when you're 14. What else is there to like, genuinely

I try to stay unbiased here but Hozier is one of the only musicians I allow myself to be pretentious about, so before i info dump about why i love take me to church here's some other hozier songs you should give a shot:

francesca [i'd go through hell again just to hold you one more time], nina cried power [song about activism and black activists], swan upon leda [about the violence of colonialism, misogyny, and religious bigotry], eat your young [about the violence of war, capitalism, and generational trauma], movement, to noise making (sing), shrike, NFWMB [sexy], sunlight

anyway take me to church is so much more than just “loving you is like church”. he starts off by telling us how happy his lover makes him, despite constantly being told by The Church he was born sick and his happiness is a result of sinful behavior. he rejects the religion being forced on him, because unlike christianity, his church doesn't force him to accept absolution to reach heaven ("my church offers no absolutes / she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom' / the only heaven I'll be sent to / is when i'm alone with you"). the last two lines of the first verse-- "i was born sick, but i love it / command me to be well"-- questions why a god would create us to be inherently sick only to punish us for being sick.

i see the the chorus as a smart-ass comparison of his relationship to christianity. The Church expects him to blindly worship their lies and confess his sins, which he knows will be used against him ("take me to church / i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies / i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"), but he's supposed to accept this and devote his life to God so he can get to heaven ("offer me that deathless death / oh good god, let me give you my life"). by offering to do this for his lover, he's equating their love to religion.

in the second verse, he reiterates that he worships his lover with a metaphor ("if i'm a pagan of the good times / my lover's the sunlight"). the subtle remark of referring to the ancient practice of paganism as "the good times" comments on the colonization and forced conversion of ireland by christian england, which criminalized paganism. immediately after stating how his lover demands a sacrifice, he hungrily eyes the high horse The Church sits on, and questions what power they have over him and his people ("that's a fine lookin' high horse / what you got in the stable? / we've a lot of starving faithful"). this could also be a reference to the irish potato famine, which was not a result of drought, but of english lords forcing the irish to turn over their entire crop to send to england.

then we get the most poetic description of sex i've ever heard: "no masters or kings when the ritual begins / there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin / in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / only then, i am human / only then, i am clean". fuck man

a lot of gay people with religious trauma love this song bc of everything i described above. also, it's a fuckin banger.

and yes i was 14 when it came out. what about it

[soundspeachytome]

dusty and fraulein (shohei ohtani au)

summary: your asshole cat falls in love with your new next-door neighbor and takes shelter in his front porch while displacing his poor dog, dusty, and a whole lot of chaos in between ensues.

tropes: enemies to lovers, next door neighbor dynamics, dog parent x cat parent, fake dating, small town romance, pure, pure fluff and romance only.

word count: 11.2k

this is far from my original writing style but i hope you have fun reading as much as i had writing this! (if there are any inconsistencies, sorry in advance!)

other notes: i had patterned the two characters loosely after lorelai and luke and stars hollow as the town. *swoon!*

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

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“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You squint through the harsh back light of your phone and see the time: 8:47 AM. It is barely brunch and you hear loud music and conversation from outside your bedroom window. You pull the covers over your head and try to go back to sleep but the sound of a hammer being pounded on wood disrupts your journey back to dreamland. 

It also doesn’t help that your head also feels like someone is drilling it into concrete. For a split second, you wonder why you even let that much alcohol enter your system on a Friday night, and why no one stopped you when you were such a lightweight. You try to remember the events from the night before and then it hits you: you caught your boyfriend–now ex!--sexting with an intern at his office through the messages on his phone. You were not the type to scour through your boyfriends’ phones but it was supposed to be dinner date night with pasta and Sauvignon Blanc when Jack’s phone lit up from the kitchen counter. You were busy preparing cutlery when the phone dinged again. You thought it was important from work and since you had been very open and comfortable with each after a year of dating, taking a peek would not hurt. 

Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw. 

Jack, despite being a successful finance analyst, the smart, bookish type, the one who can compute numbers in his head in about 5 seconds or less, apparently was not smart enough to keep his notifications hidden or at least try and cover them up like a serial cheater would. Not that you  wanted him hiding anything from you, but at that moment, seeing the thirst traps and the disgusting follow-up sexts from his notifications bar were enough for you to hurl his precious PS5 from the fifth floor of his apartment building and leave the crime scene with the wine and pasta in tow. 

You don’t know what happened after because you left while he was still in the shower, his apartment thrashed, with a note which you left that says, “For the record, I faked all my orgasms during our sexy time. Veronica ❤️ seems to love your *mini* performance though! PS. If you’re looking for your PS5, try looking down from the balcony, asshole.”

Love is a lie, you scoffed. You let the remnants of last night’s hurt consume you for a little bit more and cry under the covers. You cried until your eyes tired, until the weight of your head felt heavier than a bowling ball. You thought about staying in bed for a few more minutes when a boisterous laughter interrupted your thoughts. The laugh was followed by incomprehensible sentences. The voice came from a man probably in his late twenties, deep, jovial and friendly. You couldn’t make out the words from this distance but he sounded like he was giving instructions, volume fading in and out every now and then. Then more manly laughter. You didn’t know why but this person had a distinct laugh that you found very pleasant. You wonder somberly if you could laugh like that again. 

You jolted upright and went for the door. You will definitely be happy again soon but first, coffee. 

The best hangover fix is a steaming cup of coffee with a plate of bacon and pancakes. You poured yourself a hot mug of coffee and suddenly felt unstoppable, like you’re actually happy, at least temporarily. The pounding in your head has subsided but the drilling from nextdoor hasn’t. You must have new neighbors, the way you’re seeing movers coming in and out of the moving truck parked outside. You tried to catch a glimpse of this neighbor causing all the ruckus but were unsuccessful as the trees lined beside your porch were covering your line of vision. From behind you, you felt your cat, Fraulein, bump her head on your ankles, purring audibly.

“Looks like the new neighbors woke you up too, huh?” She yawned and continued looking up at you. 

Fraulein, a female American shorthair of three years, stood around nine pounds with her stocky legs and long, proportioned tail. Her fur was a thick orange coat with faint white stripes covering most of her body. She was nameless when you picked her up from the animal shelter. She was barely five months old at that time and despite being smaller than the other cats, she had snuggled up to you when you reached for a pet. When you scratched her head and heard her purr loudly, you knew right then and there that she was the one for you. She was the friendliest, clingiest and most loveable thing you have in your life, and despite her “orange cat personality” as most people had dubbed, you wouldn’t replace her with anything in the world, not even for your hound dog-looking ex, Jack. 

She did a big stretch as you picked her up while you stood idly by the window. As you stared outside, Fraulein’s purring sending you in a trance, you suddenly notice a pair of eyes looking up at you from the front lawn. Those eyes should not be there, and more importantly, the pair of eyes belonged to a dog standing just mere inches from your flowering shrubs, tail wagging. If this dog takes another step, they could ruin the gardenias you’ve been trying to grow. 

You step outside and try to shoo the dog away when it suddenly jumps and barks. 

“Hey! Get away from my garden!” You try to stay calm as the dog continues to bark and come playfully near the shrubs. Your heart sinks when his paw accidentally steps on the stems of your peonies. You’ve been meaning to pluck them this week so you can replace the wilted ones from your vase. 

“Oh my god… Please go away! Shoo!” You desperately waved the dog away but it continued to jump excitedly and roll around, probably thinking you were out there to play. Fraulein, who was still in your arms the entire time, started getting restless and was hissing at the dog’s direction, her untucked claws boring into your skin. That’s when you saw a man, probably over six feet tall, rushing towards the dog. He had thick black hair and the widest shoulders you’ve ever seen. 

“Oh my god, Dusty! What are you doing here…” He put a leash on the dog, whose name was probably Dusty, as you have heard, and carried him with one arm. 

“I’m so so sorry! I was inside the house and I didn’t realize Dusty escaped from his leash.” His big brown eyes complemented well against his slightly tanned skin. With your obvious height difference, you had to look up at him from a distance without hurting your neck. 

“He almost ruined my flowers,” You started to say, eyes still locked in his. If you hadn’t forced yourself to look towards your garden, you would have been sucked into his creamy brown orbs. 

You assessed the garden from the mini scuffle. There was a bit of overturned soil from some of the shrubs, especially from the peonies getting the most damage. The stems have been slightly bent, almost breaking from where it stood. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m sosososorry! I didn’t mean to–I mean, Dusty’s still young, he’s very playful and…” 

“I was planning on cutting them this week, anyway. Your dog has to stay away from my garden, though.” I pointed at the lopsided peonies, almost looking like they have their hands up in the air, waving sideways.

He looked so apologetic that he almost looked like it was his fault. He tightened his grip on his dog, Dusty, who looked so small and well-behaved being cradled by a big-bodied man. Meanwhile, Fraulein has not relaxed one bit after that quick garden mess and had her claws out, clinging to my threadbare sweater.

“Yes ma’am, I’ll keep a tight leash on her. I’m Shohei Ohtani, by the way. We just moved next door, so I guess we’re neighbors now. I’d offer my hand right now, but I’m afraid Dusty would jump out of my grip. ”

Now that you are able to look at his face carefully, you realize that he was fairly handsome. Correctly proportioned face, dreamy brown eyes, and a smile that invited first love butterflies kind of vibe. He was also tall and definitely bulky over that black long-sleeved sweater that was folded up to his elbows. You could tell he dedicates a good amount of time to his body.

“So that explains all this noise so early in the morning.” You say with an almost sarcastic tone of voice. You didn’t mean it and you were willing to forgive them for the morning ruckus but the garden mishap and the mini-heart attack you had for your plants had somehow added to the list of how-to-piss-your-neighbor-on-the-first-day. And you’re really bad at moving past your first impressions of other people. 

“Are all cat people always this cranky in the morning?” He commented cheekily, displaying a playful expression in his eyes. This man named Shohei is trying to get to you and it’s definitely working. For a first conversation, it surely is getting on your nerves to be read so openly, and in your own premises, at that. 

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just an observation. Cat people seemed to be more emotionally charged than dog people.” He said matter-of-factly and continued to smile. He’s handsome but he’s also starting to be annoying as hell. What does he mean by that? Does he want to show off that dog people are better than cat people? 

“Well. If we’re going to talk about stereotypes here then I must say dog people are careless people-pleasers who hogs the attention and only cares about being liked and do not give a rat’s ass on taking up other people’s space and boundaries. I’d also offer to shake my hand but I’m afraid my cat right here might scratch your dog’s face for ruining our morning.” You stared hard at him and slowly backed away, returning to your porch steps.

“Nice to meet you, too, I guess! I would suggest chamomile tea and tone down on coffee!” He waved cheerfully, as he exited the lawn and walked towards his home. You turned your heel and slammed the door shut loud enough for him to hear. Fraulein jumped out of your grip and mewed almost as angrily. She darted toward the kitchen and went out of sight. 

“What a weirdo… If Fraulein doesn’t like him then I don’t have to like him, too.” You muttered to yourself and moved to the bathroom to take a shower. 

You spent your afternoon in the garden, watering and cutting the flowers in full bloom. You wore your oldest t-shirts with a print that says “I Wet My Plants” under your pink square overalls and a sun hat to protect you from the sun. You were listening to your beloved Birdy mix on your headphones as you tended the prettiest flowers in your garden, muting the noise of the world.

I know I was stupid to let what we had go to waste

Why does everything I love always get taken away?

Ghost in the wind calling you to take me home

Ghost in the wind crying, where do I belong?

Can anyone hear me now?

Can anyone hear me now?

“Can you hear me, Y/N?”

“Agh!”

You almost jumped out of your skin when a hand touched you lightly in the arm. It was Patrick Sandoval, your high school best friend, and sometimes main supplier of Fraulein’s flea medicine. You forgot that he was visiting today.

“Whoa! Extra jumpy today?” he smiled his Colgate-white smile and cocked his head to the side. “Coffee overload, again?”

Suddenly you remembered what your new neighbor had said during your first encounter this morning. Naturally cranky… Tone down on the coffee… He had no idea to be assuming things like that, not when you had just literally met.

“Jack cheated on me and I was hungover, okay?” You grit your teeth through the mention of your ex. Like the stench of his name made the bile climb up your throat. “I decimated his PS5 into tiny cracked pieces.”

“Oh, shit, man.. I’m proud of you.” He put you in a half-embrace and patted your head. “Do you need me to break his legs for you?”

You giggled, arm still locked around his waist. “No, but I took one of his expensive wines so that evens that out for me, I think. I don’t care.”

Patrick looks at you and wonders if he arrived too late today. He notices the dark bags under your eyes and your puffy face, probably a result of crying all night. He wondered if you had been crying all morning, too. He couldn’t help but lean in and give you a full, bear hug.

“Just let me know if you need us to file a restraining order, babygirl.” You snorted and buried your face under his embrace, thankful for the assurance. Patrick has always been your rock since high school. When your first boyfriend ditched you in prom, Patrick was there to rescue you when he wasn’t initially supposed to go; you ended the night with stomachs full of pizza, sparkling soda and belly laughter.

You and Patrick had been for each other’s rarest moments throughout adulthood: gushing about your first times, your first heartbreaks, getting into college, graduation… you even wondered if both of you are just teetering from the sidelines, waiting for each other to do the first move. You always brush the thought away because to do that means risking your friendship with him. You don’t want to lose him, not even as a friend.

“By the way, I’m just here to drop these medicines for dear ol’ Frau that you asked.” He lifted a paper bag with a cute animal picture and his pet shop name printed across it. Paw and Order.

 “Thanks, Patrick. I could’ve picked them up if you called.” Patrick has been the sole pet doctor in town which contributed solely to his success. Seeing how much people nowadays prefer taking pets instead of bearing children, he took the opportunity to put up his own pet shop and clinic; you and Fraulein have been number one customers ever since.

“It’s my pleasure, milady.” He did an elegant bow, to which I returned a curtsy, and giggled. “I’m also here to let you know that I’ll be on a business trip for two weeks. So this will be sort of my goodbye.”

“What kind of business trip takes two weeks long?” You don’t really want him to leave, especially with the holidays approaching, you had planned to spend it all with him.

“The kind where your father wants you to venture to a new business spot and spend the holidays with him and his new family.” He shrugged and looked at you, hoping you’d stop him from the impending family mess he’s about to go to, but you only scrunched your nose.

“That sucks, man. You’ll miss all the fruitcakes.” 

“I know, dude.” He pouted. “How are Frau's fleas, by the way? Did the medicine work last time?” 

“Sure did, she’s better now. Speaking of which, where is that old hag?” You haven’t seen her since early morning’s commotion. The last time you saw her she was napping by the window of your bedroom.

“Just call me if you notice anything weird. The medicines should be enough while I’m gone.” 

“Leaving already?”

“First thing in the morning, bub.” He said. “I’ll miss you.”

“Frau and I will miss you, too!” And the two of you embraced in another warm hug. When you both pulled back, he helped you pick up the basket of freshly bloomed flowers you had collected for the day and went back inside the house. You had given him the extra jar of lemon iced tea you’ve been saving for a particularly warm day like this. 

~~~

It’s been a whole day that you haven’t seen Fraulein. She usually wanders off hours in a day but she always returns by dinner time. You were starting to worry as the sky slowly turned pitch black. The lampposts turn on, illuminating the streets. You turn the porch lights on, too, and leave her bowl of food and water by the doorstep, in case she decides to come home late into the night. 

~~~~

You wake up to a high-pitched yowling outside. You’re not exactly sure where but you know that sound from anywhere. You bolted down the stairs with your sleeping robe undone and ran towards the lawn. You can’t see anything until you hear it again.

“Nyreooow!”

Soon, a dog howls and you run towards Shohei Ohtani’s house.

You see Fraulein perched on top of Shohei’s porch, her entire back arched defensively, ears twitching backwards. She was hissing at Dusty, who was whimpering loudly below the porch steps and looking terrified. In your panic, you run to the lawn to pick Fraulein up.

“Fraulein! What are you doing here?” 

Dusty continued to bark loudly, trying to come near the door where Fraulein stood. She hissed menacingly at him.

At that exact moment, Shohei Ohtani emerged from the front door, yawning and trying to get sleep out of his eyes. 

“Whazhapeninhere?” He yawned, looking clearly disoriented from suddenly waking up.

“Your dog is trying to attack my cat!” I yelled, trying to go near Fraulein but stepped back as Dusty blocked your way. 

Shohei popped awake as soon as he heard Fraulein hiss at Dusty once more; Fraulein arched her back more and raised her claws in defense.

“Whoa, hey!” Shohei ran up to Dusty and cradled him in his arms like a baby. Poor dog was shaking and whimpering.

“Are you sure it’s not your cat trying to attack my baby?” He raised his voice. He was standing a few feet away from you and looked you up and down, noticing your loose sleeping robe and looking away. 

“Poor baby getting scared by a cat,” He cooed silently, helping Dusty relax.

You walked up the porch when Fraulein hissed and scratched your arms when you picked her up. She wriggled from your grasp but conceded defeat when you scruffed her by the neck, immobilizing her. 

“I don’t know what’s happening here, but please stay away from my cat.” You looked at both Shohei and Dusty sternly. He noticed the scratches on your hands.

“You’re bleeding.” He started.

You looked down on your hands and saw visible red scratch marks. They started from the middle of your arm all the way to the back of your hand.

“I’m fine.” You huffed, trying to walk away as fast as possible. You don’t know what time it was, but it could easily be past midnight. 

“No, wait. Please, I have antiseptic soap inside…” He rushed towards the house, when he looked back and saw you frozen on the steps, he beckoned you and disappeared inside. “Come on.”

You stood there for a moment and contemplated if you should follow Shohei inside. You barely know the guy and every encounter you’ve had with him always ended in a screaming match or a passive-aggressive exchange. He might even be an ax murderer for all you know. A very handsome one, at that. 

“Frau, if something happens to me, please know that I love you.” You held her near your face. “Third drawer by the sink is where I kept all your catnip”. You whispered to her ear and walked towards Shohei Ohtani’s home.

~~~

Shohei Ohtani’s home was, first of all, very clean. It did not reek of anything a dog owner normally would smell like. It had the occasional puppy toys around the living room, but much to your surprise, it was spotless. It also smelled like sweet rose and laundry detergent. You also discovered that just like you, he lives alone. 

Shohei had put Dusty inside a retractable gate to keep him safe from Fraulein as you put her down on the floor. He busied himself looking for his first aid kit. You don’t notice any other pictures on display except him and Dusty and one with his complete family on the refrigerator door. 

His tall frame reappears and he pulls you towards the kitchen sink. You soak your arms under the water and he hands you the antiseptic soap.

“Thanks,” You mumbled. He never left your side and waited until you finished rinsing off, then took your arm and put cream on the scratch marks. He was standing unbelievably close, you could almost see his long eyelashes as he had his head down, concentrating on his self-appointed task. 

He also had his other hand holding you tight, as if to make sure you won’t run off suddenly. 

“I have these at home, you know.” You trained your eyes on his fingers dabbing cream. Don’t look at his arm veins, Y/N. Don’t look at them. Don’t look. Don’t.

“Oh, gee. Why didn’t I think of that?” He mused to which you rolled your eyes. Once again, the magic had worn off. 

“Do you really have to sound sarcastic all the time?”

“C’mon, lighten up.  Besides, it happened on my property so I feel partially responsible–even if it was your cat’s fault.” He shrugged.

You coughed at his accusation. “Fraulein does not instigate fights. She is well-mannered and prim all the time, thank you very much.” You pulled your cream-covered arm away from him. Just then, you notice Fraulein bumping her head on Shohei’s legs, mewling softly.

“How would you then explain the fact where your cat steals Dusty’s bed from the front porch?” He said, crossing his arm, Fraulein on the other hand, was still headbutting Shohei on the legs.

“Oh, she did not.” You retorted. Why would she steal someone’s fray-looking bed when she has her beautiful beige 2-condo tree tower with a capsule nest and dangling balls and a charming basket-weave style oval bed at home? It didn’t make sense. “She only sleeps in the beds I bought her.”

Shohei gives you a funny look and fishes his phone from his pocket. “Well, you’re in for quite a shock, I guess.”

He shoves the phone to you after tinkering with it for a while. “That’s your cat at 30:56 right?”

You look closely, a bit disoriented at what he was trying to show you. CCTV recorded footage of his porch outside where his dog, Dusty, was sitting in his dog bed, playing with his puppy chew ball, when suddenly, you saw Fraulein enter the frame from the left. 

“It doesn’t show anything.” You impatiently looked on, disbelief and denial dripping from you. 

“Oh just you wait.” 

Fraulein was moving slowly, watching Dusty and his toy. A few minutes pass by, the video captures Shohei exiting the front door and Dusty follows him playfully, at which, the dog bed was obviously vacated, and Fraulein took the opportunity to lay on it. 

Shohei cops the phone away and crosses his arms across his chest. “The court finds the defendant guilty.”

It took you a moment but gasped dramatically at the realization. “Was she here the entire day yesterday? Napping on your dog’s bed?” You looked at Fraulein with sheer disapproval. “Fraulein von Hammersmark, that is not how female felines behave.”

Shohei stifled a laugh. He was leaning over his stomach and ears red. “Relax. I don’t mind at all. I think Dusty does, though.” He picks up Fraulein calmly and gives her  scratches on her head. Fraulein purrs loudly. 

“She has been napping here all day since morning and seems to enjoy watching her new neighbor work out in the front lawn.” 

You grimaced, making sure you showed him your disgust. “Ew, weird flex but okay.”

Dusty whimpers as he looks at the scene from outside his gate. You walk over and give him a light pat on the head. “Dusty, blink once if you need help.” 

“Oh, please.” He giggles. “I’m not the weird one for naming my cat Fraulein von Hammersomething.” Shohei returns Fraulein to you, your arms touching, his head closer to yours momentarily. 

“Y/N. I wonder what the weather is on your side. You want to wear something warmer than that?” He pointed at your loose sleeping gown, your legs showing a little bit of your thigh. A little more movement and the knots would dangerously slip out of your waist and reveal your lingerie. 

“Pervert.” You instinctively covered your chest and ran back home, arms carrying Fraulein and the weight of shame for being almost half-naked inside a strange man’s house. 

~~~~

The next few days after that incident were spent with writing articles for an obscure lifestyle website and your part-time work at the bookstore in town, Novel Nook. You ride a 30 minute bus ride to the town square everyday for work and wait 15 minutes in line to grab a cup of coffee from the coffee shop beside it. It doesn’t feel like work at all because you are always surrounded by the books that you love. It took you a long time to realize that working 9-5 in an office cubicle with ugly fluorescent lighting was deteriorating your mental headspace and when your mom passed, you jumped the gun and submitted your intent to resign.

You removed all the baggage you kept from the city and only brought the ones that mattered to you: your cat, your big books, some pretty clothes you never wore in the city but are wearing freely and confidently now, and your memories of your mom. You flew seven thousand miles back home to the place you were meant to be all this time, and you couldn’t be happier and more content. 

You were walking sluggishly back home from a tiring day at work at Novel Nook where two teenagers fought for the last copy of The Hurricane Wars and it took all your energy to de-escalate before they could start pulling each other’s hair. You can’t wait to kick your boots back, hug Fraulein and maybe continue reading a book. 

Your house is on the opposite side of the bus stop so you always (almost begrudgingly) have to pass by Shohei’s house every time. Sometimes it would be quiet with Dusty playing alone on the porch, or Shohei having a barbecue and would always cheerfully waving at you while you just give him a brief nod. Recently, you’ve grown accustomed to seeing Fraulein hanging out in his place more often than you have imagined. She’s like a teenage girl rebelling against her overbearing mother, hanging out with the wrong crowd. After that incident with Dusty, she has claimed dominance on his bed, Shohei had no choice but to buy a new one for his poor dog, while Fraulein smugly walks around in her new territory. 

You had developed some sort of weird neighbor-dynamic with Shohei after that. On days Fraulein had to take her medicine shots that Patrick had given you, you’d walk towards his house and pick her up like some sort of pet daycare. Shohei likes to call it “daddy daycare” as if you’re two divorced parents and he is the cool dad that all the kids love hanging with while you’re the uptight, overbearing mother with full custody and all, that the kids hate. 

“Fraulein, your mom’s here.” Shohei said one day, looking up from his laptop which was perched on the table he had set up on his porch, sitting adjacent to Fraulein. Dusty was chewing on his toy, as usual, and perked up a welcome upon seeing you. 

Fraulein stands and stretches her back and sits back again resting on Shohei’s foot, to which Shohei smirks almost smugly. “She loves her dad more, it seems.”

You roll your eyes and pick up Fraulein. “Stop calling yourself her dad before I burn your house down.”

“Ooh, an arsonist for a neighbor. That’s so sexy, Y/N.” He looked you up and down and wiggled his eyebrows. “You’re too cute to go to jail, though. How about going out with me instead?”

“Piss off. C’mon, Fraulein, time for medicine.” You turned and walked back to your home, trying to keep a straight face at the being called cute with Shohei. You’re too cute. You made the mistake of looking back as you turned to your corner and saw Shohei grinning at you.

This day would be no different as you passed by Shohei’s house today and saw Fraulein napping at the exact same place on his porch. He was working out doing ab crunches on the ground. You decided today, you wouldn’t dare to go on another episode of sarcasm battle with Shohei and go straight home. He was wearing workout clothes of course, with his gym shorts and sleeveless shirt, for all the temptations in the world, this one, you had proudly resisted and warded off like the devil. 

You found Dusty on your lawn, sitting by the patch of grass far from your flowers, thankfully, and staring far ahead into the direction of your home. You patted him and tried to get his attention. Ever since being displaced by Fraulein, he had been giving you frequent visits and play in your yard and you’d give him treats from your secret stash.

“Hey, bud. Were you waiting for me?” He ignored you and continued to look on.

By the door, you can see a tall black figure standing, unmoving. It was a man in a black suit with hands in his pockets. When he turns around, you see a familiar face.  

“No,” You whispered. Jack smiles at you and waves, as if nothing had happened almost a month ago. As if he was just returning from a business trip. Like cheating on you was nothing.

You started panicking and heaving heavily. Dusty senses your fear and barks at Jack when he slowly walks over to you. 

Dusty continued to growl and bark at Jack while you tried to move backward, feet heavy like lead. 

“Stop, don’t come near me, Jack.” you struggled.

“Y/N, I’m here to apologize, for whatever happened, for whatever it made you feel.” He was still slowly walking towards you, eyeing Dusty carefully.

“We have nothing to talk about anymore, Jack. It’s over, in case you forgot.”

“I said come here, you bitch.” He growled. 

At this point, you only realized you were shaking terribly when a hand wrapped on your shoulder, calming you down.

“Are you okay?” It was Shohei’s voice and you have never felt so relieved to hear his voice. You weakly put your arm around his waist and leaned on him. You were still shaking badly, from the exhaustion, or the fear, you couldn’t tell. 

“Is everything okay?” Shohei acknowledges Jack who stopped at around five feet from where you were. 

“We were just discussing something… private.” Jack shifts his eyes between you and Shohei, who was sizing him up and down. Between Shohei, who stood over six feet tall, bulky, and ripped, and Jack, just around five foot nine, body somewhat lean and lanky, Jack didn’t stand a chance. 

Realizing this, you found more comfort and confidence in your plan. You looked up to see Shohei still trying to converse with Jack while keeping a firm arm around you. 

“Shohei.” He looked at you cautiously and tightened his grip on your shoulder. 

Please promise me that you won’t get mad at what I’m about to do.

“What is it, Y/N? Who is this guy?” he said.

“He’s my ex who I want nothing to do with.” He straightened his back but you pulled him by the neck so you could whisper in his ear.

“I’m so sorry, Shohei.” 

“I’m not sure I understand–” He tilted his head in confusion. Jack starts moving forward again, looking almost pissed by just looking at you and Shohei. 

With Shohei still leaning forward, you desperately grabbed his cheeks and pecked him square on the lips. 

Shock induces both Shohei’s and Jack’s faces when you pull back, eyes focused on Jack and hoping to God he’d get the message. Wild red alarms blared and rang loudly in your head, you just kissed Shohei, your hot and annoying neighbor! You just kissed him! You ignored this and focused on the problem at hand. 

“He’s my boyfriend, Jack. Please leave now–” 

Shohei recovers from his shock and kisses you back in bigger, wider and longer strokes of his tongue. The tremors in your body shook harder and you felt your limbs melt into a puddle of water. Shohei’s big warm hands were there to catch you as your knees unbuckled. 

You kissed back and forgot everything that was happening in the background. Dusty barking, Jack’s shell-shocked face, the vehicles passing by the street witnessing your spectacle. You ignored all of this and focused on the way Shohei holds on to your body from your neck, to your back until it rests to the back of your waist, gripping tight, his firm and taut body pressing hard onto you, and his lips sliding over yours so smoothly, stimulating all the senses in your tongue and mouth. 

You don’t know how many seconds passed when you stayed inside that bubble but when you both pulled back for air, Jack was no longer there and Dusty had stopped barking. Instead, he just sat quietly on the ground, waiting for you to finish. 

You stared at Shohei and you stared back at him. Your hand was still on his neck, half-gripping the nape. You slowly let go and pull away. It’s always after the sin that you feel the shame and guilt. 

He doesn’t let go and instead takes you by the shoulder. “Come inside first and we’ll talk.”

You nod wordlessly and follow his lead. You couldn’t walk properly anyway, so you didn’t want to fight back. Your knees felt like jelly and your brain full of fog. That was hot, you thought, but also very wrong.

You sat at Shohei’s dining table chugging a glass of water. By the time you finished, he sat there in front of you and continued looking at you intensely.

In your post-kiss and post-Jack clarity, you’re now too embarrassed to admit the way you handled that situation. But Shohei, being Shohei, seemed unfazed. For the most part, he found it amusing to be part of your ex-boyfriend escape plan, of all the people. 

“A man never listens to a no,” You were too focused on the rim of the glass. You want to look anywhere but Shohei’s mouth. “And I was desperate for him to get away… so I did.. That.”

“Y/N, you were trembling out there. What exactly has he done to you?” He removed the glass from your grip and made you focus on him.

“He… I… He’s an asshole when he gets angry. And I was just scared I wouldn't be able to refuse him. I don’t want him anymore.”

“For someone as arrogant and snappish as you, that’s pretty hard to believe.” You rolled your eyes at him and smirked, lips looking luscious and fuller than the last time. 

“Look, I was probably having a panic attack back there, and I’m okay now, see?” You spread your arms widely, faking a smile at him. You’d like this conversation to end so you could run back to your house and ram your head to the wall. The more you stay in Shohei’s presence, the more embarrassed you feel about wanting and enjoying that kiss. You did. You do. And you want more. 

“I wanted an easy way out, you happened to be there and I grabbed the moment.” You rambled on. “And that kiss, it was just a one-time thing.”

“A one-time thing?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, it was a mistake. We don’t even like each other to kiss, so we can forget about it.”

“Is that right?” His lips curled into a smirk.

“Yes, tomorrow, we act like it never happened, okay?” You stood up and started collecting yourself. You hang by the door and look back, Shohei had his arms crossed against his chest, staring at you. 

“I don’t know, Y/N. That seems pretty unforgettable to me.”

~~~~~

The following morning, you woke up early to visit the farmer's market to replenish your cupboard. You wore black tights over your long beige dress and a gray cardigan. You put your hair down in loose waves today and replaced your contacts with your old prescription eyeglasses. 

Sprawled in front of you were tents and tables of farmers and sellers of freshly harvested fruits and vegetables to your heart’s content. Almost everyone you knew from town was there on a bright day like this. You said your hellos and some, who were avid customers of Novel Nook, asked about the new book releases. Since it is a fairly small town, it is inevitable to spot the ones that you direly wanted to avoid. For example, your ex-boyfriend Jack. 

He was standing one tent away and seemed to just idly window-shopping. You put your head down and try not to meet his gaze or look at his direction as you busy yourself looking through a good bunch of tomatoes. 

“Hey, Y/N.” You put your guard down and suddenly he is in front of you. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Trying to… buy some tomatoes?” He sneered, holding a tomato in his hand. “I don’t see your boyfriend around.”

“I…He’s… Can you please stop following me?” Cold sweat ran through your spine as he noticed you fumble, noticing your lie. 

“Lest you forget, I live here, too.” 

“Not in this side of town, you don’t.” You walked away with the bag of tomatoes you purchased. You moved quickly and avoided the throng of people that was starting to build up. 

“I just want us to talk… Y/N. You didn’t give me a chance to explain yesterday.” He continued to follow you, hands behind his back. He was obviously not there to buy tomatoes. 

“I don’t want to see you anymore. Leave me alone or I’ll call the police.” You looked at him sternly, hand gripping tightly on the basket you were holding. One false move and you just might smash his head with a whole pineapple. 

“No boyfriend to come save you now?” Jack chuckled. 

“There you are.” A familiar voice sprung up from behind, and a hand snaked around your waist. Shohei was suddenly beside you, holding on to his own basket of shopping bags.  “I was looking all over for you. Look, I got you blueberries for the cake you were planning to bake. ”

Shohei pinched your sides and smiled, nodding at you to play along with his little act. You forced a wide smile and said, “Wow, yes. You remembered, love? Thank you.”

You both turned to Jack who had a repulsed expression on his face. He coughed up and tried to get back his composure, but it was too late as both of you were already walking away. Shohei did not let go of you even until you turned a corner. You couldn’t care less about shopping anymore as you worried about running into Jack again.

“It looks like your ex is adamant on following you around.” He whispered to your ear, looking back and seeing Jack following far behind. “Care to give him a show, love?” 

You widen your eyes as you realized what was about to happen. 

He moves his head closer to yours and locks you in a wet kiss. He pushed deeper into the kiss when you unconsciously opened your mouth and let him in, mouth and tongue. The smell of clean detergent mixed with a little bit of vanilla filled your lungs, slapping you drunk. The second kiss was just as good as the first. 

Shohei suddenly pulls back from the kiss and offers his hand, and continues walking along like he hadn’t sucked the air out of your body.

For a few more tents, you and Shohei walked around hand in hand in the cold morning, picking fruits and vegetables like your typical neighborhood couple. Many onlookers saw the two of you eating from the free taste section, or arguing about the right vegetable size to buy, or just happily chatting with his hand not letting you go. 

“Shohei, I think Jack’s no longer around.” You motion for him to let go of your hand. 

“Aw, I thought we weren’t acting anymore, the way you were kissing me back there.” He smirks and lets go of your hand, missing his warmth already. 

“I’m only letting your hand go because you look like you’re going to topple over with how heavy this basket is.” He took your groceries from you and led the way. Since you’re practically almost living together, you have no choice but to walk with him awkwardly. 

“Thank you, Shohei.” You said quietly, walking feebly behind him.

“Didn’t catch that, love. What–” He wheels around and stops himself after realizing what he said, the tips of his ears turning red. You tried to keep a straight face but failed as both of you got caught in the moment. 

“Don’t get used to it.” You giggled and skipped your steps, leaving him to carry all the shopping bags he refused to let you carry. 

~~~

You were slowly settling down for the night with a movie on and a bowl of buttered popcorn when you heard a faint knock on the door.

Shohei was standing outside with his hands in the pockets of his checkered pajama pants. On his feet seems to be a brand new pet backpack carrier.

“Special delivery for one order of queen of meowtown, clingy and fuzzball Fraulein!” He beamed and pointed at the carrier. Fraulein was sitting relaxedly inside. 

“Don’t be shocked or anything but I accidentally bought two of these.” He pointed at the carrier. “I-I thought you’d like to have one for Fraulein. You don’t have to accept it i-if you…”

You smiled as he stammered on. “This looks really cute, I love it.”

Shohei smiled widely and helped push the carrier to your living room. “Then I'll give this as a gift!”

“It would be improper to receive a gift like this...”

“I refuse to accept no, Y/N. Take it please.”

You wanted to mull over it, let it marinate in your head and see what happens but ever since the first two kisses you shared with him, Shohei has been… extra friendly recently. And you were not that kind of “friend”. Whenever you pass his house, he’d go out of his way and talk to you before you walk away. Asking you questions if you’re on the way to the farmer's market, or if you’re on your way to work, if you want to join him for a run. He’s been attentive and you’re not sure what exactly this dynamic has evolved into. You feel uncomfortable about the attention you’re receiving but at the same time, you feel it in your chest and in your stomach and at the tips of your fingers. The fluttering. The tremors and the shakiness of breaths. It’s always there when he’s there. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll take it. But no more other gifts, okay!” You opened the carrier to let Fraulein out who walked idly away and climbed into her tree tower. 

Shohei smiled, nodding. He was about to leave the door when you pulled the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Wait. Um.”

He stepped back and looked inquiringly. You held up a photo from your phone to his face: it was you and Shohei on the day you went to the farmer’s market, holding hands while looking at freshly picked flowers. Shohei’s eyes squinted with laughter, looking intently at you while you were captured trying to explain something trivial. It was quite a beautiful shot sent to you by a cousin who was good at photography. More than that, if you were a stranger looking at a random photo like this, you’d think you were happily in love, and the thought made your chest flutter. 

“It’s quite a small town so it didn’t come as a shock to me when people started noticing whatever this was.” Shohei was still looking at the photo, a small smile drawn on his lips. 

“My mom’s side of the family is setting up a brunch this weekend. I usually bring Patrick to this but they wanted to meet you so…” You trailed.

You coughed and took the phone away. “It’s just a small group of people. And we can always say we broke up after three months or something.”

He cocked his head, looking confused. “Are we still doing the pretending thing with your family?”

“Yeah, I mean. We don’t like each other like that, right? We can just say it didn’t work out after three or four months. They usually move on pretty quickly from the guys I date.”

“Let me get this straight, Y/N.” He said slowly, the Adam’s apple on his throat went up and down as he swallowed. “You want to introduce me to your family as your fake boyfriend on your family brunch.”

You affirmed. “Yes.”

“And we’re going to cook up a reason to break up.”

“Yes.”

“And you said we don’t really like each other that much.”

“Not one bit”

“When we already had two kisses.”

“Yeah.”

“And went on a date in the farmer’s market walking around while holding hands. We kissed twice.”

“It  wasn’t a date.”

“It was to me.” He muttered.

“It was because you were helping me with Jack, remember?”

Shohei sighed exasperatedly, his mood darkened. “Pssh, yeah, whatever. Text me the details. G’night.” He scooted to leave and just like that you were left all alone in a confused daze in your living room. 

~~~

You spent too much time tossing and turning on your bed that night. The voices in your head and the whispers in your heart having an ongoing debate about what had happened a few hours before. 

Shohei was extremely happy, almost beaming like a kid when he brought you his gift but his expression changed after you had the conversation about your family brunch. Maybe you can sit it out this year and make up an excuse that both you and Shohei couldn’t attend? Seasonal allergies? Car getting mauled? Someone’s pet dying? Gods, no. You internally smack yourself for even being near to the thought of either your pets dying, not when they’re the closest thing you have as your best friend and family. You believe Shohei believes that, too. 

And why would Shohei become upset when you proposed the idea of a fake relationship with your family? You started this whole mess and it’s slowly getting out of hand, you want to nip it in the bud so it won’t have to hurt that much later on. It was just a one-time thing, an escape plan until Jack gets out of your hair, then both of you can live as freely as you had before. 

Besides, Shohei doesn’t like you to be that upset. Does he? He’s just a neighbor who likes joking around and annoying you whenever he gets the chance. He also just so happens to be a neighbor that Fraulein spends a lot of time on, he’s just someone to you until recently. 

You touch your fingers on your lips. That kiss shouldn’t mean anything to you because maybe Shohei doesn’t think about it that much either. He’s probably had a good number of girls that he’s kissed with that mouth. Given how good those kisses were, his expertise was undeniably top notch. You’ve never had anything like that before. A kiss that makes your insides tremble with need, almost fairytale like. Something close to what Mia Thermopolis had fantasized before her royal engagement with Nick Devereaux, a kiss that makes your leg pop. That’s what it was. A leg-popping, heart-fluttering, soul-defining kind of a  kiss that you’ll ask for more.

But as much as you want this all for yourself like the next person, you just had your heart broken by Jack. Jack who had promised you the moon and the stars, and a beautiful, dreamy, family with your pets. He had you swooning and dreaming about forever. It was all perfect until that fateful date and the cheating. It hurts to realize that no matter how much you love and do better for a person, they will always look for ways to look at other people. The idea of getting into a relationship right away after what happened with Jack is preposterous at this point. The trust and self-confidence Jack broke is something you want to piece together yourself first. Even if it meant being alone for a couple of months, or years. Who knows.  

You tossed to your side once again, feeling the sleep finally get to you. You dozed off soaking under the thoughts of kittens and kissing a tall man with contagious laughter. 

~~~~

Shohei was filling Fraulein’s food and water bowl dutifully as you had asked, waiting for you to finish preparing for the family brunch in the living room. He had finally succumbed and agreed to go with you as your fake boyfriend, despite his initial feelings towards the arrangement. He still doesn’t understand what was going through your head but he nevertheless had stopped bringing it up. He realized that the more he asked, the more you pushed back and retreated into the dark. He decided that he’d wait for you to soften up. You always do. 

And that’s how the two of you went back to being friendly with each other. 

He was sitting on your living room couch with Fraulein, brushing her fur with his fingers. Just another territory she had claimed: Shohei’s lap. 

“Shohei, help please!” You ran down the stairs, all dolled up. You put your hair down again, this time, you kept it naturally soft and straight. You also donned a yellow sundress that hugged your body, showing off your natural curves. The hems of the skirt go loose from the thighs down. 

“Can you help me zip this up, please?” You said so casually. When you turned around and showed Shohei your bare, unzipped back, he swallowed hard. 

He held your waist lightly and zipped your back slowly, as if taking his time to gape at the bareness of your skin exposed for him. When his breath touched your neck, you felt goosebumps pop. 

“Let’s go.” You smiled too widely for him, trying to act like the oxygen in your house has not depleted. 

Shohei was a hit with your cousins during brunch. Turns out that all of them share the same interests in baseball and baseball teams. They were passionately chatting on one side of the garden area while you helped your Aunt Olivia set up the table.

“He’s quite the personality, Y/N.” She mused.

“Wherever did you find a man like that, Y/N?” Your cousin Evelyn commented, staring back. “Woot, what a view.”

You smiled and looked at Shohei socializing with your family. The moment the two of you entered Aunt Olivia’s home, everyone stared in awe. After introductions were made, Shohei made connections pretty quickly with his bubbly personality. You can also hear his occasional booming laughter from their group.

You were on your way to the kitchen when a hand on your waist suddenly pulled you from behind. Shohei led you to the empty pantry and pushed you back to the wall, his hands up on the wall and caging you.

“Hi?” 

“Hi.” He looked deep into your eyes, like he was looking for something. “Anyplace in this house, we are pretending, yes?”

“Yes, the moment we stepped out of the car. We are boyfriend and girlfriend.” You confirmed.

“Even here?” His lips shadowed lightly on yours, nose grazing yours. 

“Uhm. Yes.” You breathed and that would be your last breath for a while as Shohei kissed you full on the mouth. 

He kissed you frantically, with need and fervor. You put your hands over his shoulders and his hands reached the back of your leg, putting it over his waist. You stifled a moan as he bit your neck and peppered your chest with small kisses. You can’t help but push your hips forward and roll it against his. 

You broke apart like a deer in headlights when you heard footsteps nearby. You pushed Shohei and straightened your clothes. You wiped Shohei’s lipstick-stained mouth and ran away as fast as you could. Shohei, who was as kiss-hungry and love drunk as you were, could only smirk at your retreating form. 

During brunch, you sat with Aunt Olivia on your right and Shohei, by default, on your left side. You were trying to make conversation about the current weather news report while eating your plate of mashed potatoes, all while trying to avoid any contact with Shohei. 

He noticed you have been avoidant after the hot makeout session in the pantry. He put a hand on your thigh under the table, pinching it with reassurance.

“Are we good, Y/N?”

You nodded wordlessly and smiled at him. Something about the way Shohei’s attentiveness always hits you to your core. You’ve never felt this so cared for before that it’s almost bewitching. 

The party started getting up and divided: your aunts and uncles dancing happily on one side, your cousins taking selfies on the other. Meanwhile you and Shohei were left sitting comfortably by the dining table, enjoying the sweet ambiance of everyone around you. 

You held his arm gingerly, almost seductively when you felt his hard muscles from his shirt. A few moments ago, you had almost stripped him naked in the pantry with all of your aunt’s condiments as your audience.

“Why are you so toned? What are you working out for?” You said jokingly, pressing on his biceps in amazement.

“I’m preparing for the next man who tries to steal you.” He leaned in and whispered in your ear. You giggled. 

“No one can take me away from you!” You whispered back, resting your head on his shoulder. You were on your third glass of wine and it isn’t noon yet. You feel tipsy and giggly in the comfort of Shohei’s strong arms. 

“And this is a toast to our new couple, Y/N and Shohei, may this relationship be longer than the last one.” Uncle Ben bellowed, attracting laughter from the rest of the family. They clinked their glasses and toasted for the nth time today. 

You raised your own glass and sipped your wine. 

“Don’t mind them, they’re always like that when I bring a guy to brunch.”

He caressed your thigh and wanted to push the button. “Which guys?”

“Hm? Oh just Jack and Patrick. Although Patrick doesn’t count, because he’s my bestie.” Shohei looked at you and wondered who Patrick may be. He felt a bubbling feeling at the pit of his stomach. Is he jealous? Angry? That he wasn’t the first person you introduced to your family. He shrugged it off. This is just all an act, anyway. Get your shit together, man.

“This may be my favorite brunch ever.” You concluded, finishing the last few drops of your wine. Shohei stole the glass from your hand and replaced it with his. 

“The weather is perfect, the food is great, all of my mom’s family is here. And I don’t feel alone… thanks to you.” You traced circles on the back of Shohei’s palm with your thumb. 

“Why don’t we end this with a bang, Y/N?”

Shohei’s smile invites you to a peck on the lips. He held the back of your head and gently kissed you deeply, slowly this time. You don’t resist and he doesn’t let go. You hear cheers from the background as you kiss softly. Shohei kisses you for the last time today with the hopes that it removes the uncertainty in your mind. That when he kisses you better this time, it would change your mind. He prays to all the gods that would listen.

You melt into the moment and hope it never ceases, because you go back to normal after it ends. After today, you and Shohei will be two separate people once again. And that hurts the deeper parts of you without you realizing it. 

~~~~

Shohei escorted you back home after the brunch. You rode in complete silence all the way. You really really didn’t want it to end but you also didn’t want to drag Shohei into a life that you’re not a hundred percent sure of yet. 

“Thank you for the ride.” You hung back at the entrance and Shohei waited, hoping you’d say something more. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

He sighed. “Wait, Y/N. Is that it?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Are we just gonna go back to the way it was now that you’re done pretending?” He said almost angrily. 

“Well, that’s the plan, isn’t it?”

“That’s your plan. I don’t want this to end. Did you ever wonder why I had agreed to it without asking anything in return? Because I didn’t need to pretend at all. It was all real to me.”

You stood there dumbfounded at the sudden outburst of confession from him. You thought Shohei would be more than willing to go back to his old,  uninvolved life with you. But he was right. You never once stopped to think why he was more than willing to help you get away from Jack, or to help you lie in front of your family. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking properly when I asked you this…” You blink back tears forming. 

Shohei walks up to you and rests his hands on your shoulders. “I don’t want this to end. Do you?”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for all of this, Shohei.” You squeaked, finally finding your voice. 

“You’re the most attentive, thoughtful, and sincerest man I’ve ever been blessed to meet. Even I get breathless thinking how lucky I’d be if I let you in…

“This whole fake dating thing was a mess. I shouldn’t have dragged you into my problems.”

“Y/N. Please don’t shut me out. Let me in, I’d go to the trouble of warding off your ex-boyfriend if I need to. I’ll be here for whatever.” Shohei begged. You shook your head firmly.

“I’m not ready yet, Shohei. I loved every moment I have spent with you, but I need to be with myself for now.” 

Shohei dropped his hands to his sides and stepped back, his eyes glistening with tears. 

“See you around, then.”

You watched him walk away until he disappeared into his home. You closed your door and plopped down on the floor. The tears that you were holding back came gushing out, and finally you were bawling. You didn’t cry this hard when Jack cheated on you but when you saw Shohei walking away because of your own doing, you felt like your world had collapsed. You wept until there were no tears left to cry, until the only pain you have left to bear was the hollowness of what Shohei left. You crawled into a ball by the door, clothes unchanged, makeup running down your face. Fraulein snuggles up to you minutes after, sharing her warmth.

Looks like it's just you and me again, Fraulein. 

In the next couple of weeks, you would rise early to tend to your plants, volunteer additional hours in Novel Nook so you could get home later than usual, and avoid the farmer’s market. You added wearing a baseball cap or large hats as a new fashion ensemble to steer away from eye contact at the risk of bumping into Shohei. The thing  is, your efforts to avoid him were reduced to nil as you bumped into him everywhere you went. When you throw out the trash as early as five o'clock in the morning, he’d be there, warming up or jogging on your path.  When you went to the farmer's market later than usual, he was also there doing after-rush hour shopping. Even administering Fraulein’s medicine time was an arduous task seeing that she still hangs around Shohei’s porch, not understanding your human conflict and emotions towards each other. 

There are days when you feel better and the sun is shining, but there are also moments when you catch yourself at the brink of a breakdown. It takes a while for the loneliness to settle in like an unwanted guest, creeping over your shoulder, sometimes hugging you at night. It wasn’t this hard before you met Shohei, so how was it different now?

“All good, Y/N?” You lost your train of thought at the voice of Aunt Olivia. You couldn’t bear the loneliness and the quiet of your home that you packed your stuff and stayed for a week’s worth of vacation. She joined you in the indoor kitchen table, where you were having your mid-afternoon coffee. 

“Boy problems?” she suggested. One look from you and she already knew. 

“Aunt Liv, how do you know if you’re ready to love again?” You said after a moment of silence. 

“You don’t.” She smiled and cupped your hands. “You fuck around then find out.”

She chuckled to herself. “You remind me so much of your mom. She was always scared of trivial matters, like falling in love.

“But when she had a good taste in it, she never looked back.”

Aunt Liv has always been fond of her little sister. Your mom. And hearing these words from her, reminiscent of how she had been when she was your age, twinged at your heart a little bit. 

“I’m not the one who’d pry on your relationships, Y/N. But he’s a keeper, that boy. I thought he was joking at first, but he seems to be serious about it.”

You knitted your eyebrows together. “What do you mean by that?”

“He said something when I got him alone that day. He’d said, you were tougher than a potato under hot water. But he’s willing to wait for you to soften up no matter how hot it gets.”

Leave it to Shohei to drop potato metaphors to your relatives on their first meeting. 

“When a man like that comes around, I won’t ever let him go. You’re lucky if you ever meet the same kind of man twice.”

You pondered on about Aunt Liv’s advice for the rest of the day; by nighttime, you felt an epiphany dawn upon you. The next day, you packed up and went home earlier than you had planned. 

“Go get him, bubba.” Aunt Liv wished you luck. You’ll need all the luck you can get and hope it wasn’t too late. 

It took you approximately an hour to get home by taxi, the car zigzagging across the street. 

You don’t know why you were rushing. He wasn’t going anywhere, not to your knowledge. He will always be right where you left him but something inside you was telling you that a second more that you’re away from home, and you’d lose him. 

You were trying to catch your breath as you ran on your side of the street when you bumped into Shohei leaving your front lawn, a pail and shovel over his shoulders.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He was covered in dirt from the knee up, his white shirt sticking to his body and full of sweat. He looked a little shocked and panicked at being caught mid-exit from your garden. 

“I should ask you the same question. What were you doing in my lawn?” You tried to take a peek but Shohei covered your path with his wide body. “Did you bury a body there?”

“I think that’s a good idea for your fertilizer, Y/N!” He seemed a little agitated and making offbeat jokes to distract you. 

“Step away. What did you do to my garden?” You pushed him with all the adrenaline coursing through you and jogged towards your front lawn, expecting a murder crime scene or worse, a decaying garden. 

Instead, you saw hundreds of tulips in different shades and colors spread all throughout your garden. Purple and yellow tulips lined up the path towards your home. Red and pink tulips danced in the background, swaying every time a soft breeze brushed through. 

“You’re not supposed to see it yet. I thought you’d be back tomorrow night.” Shohei said, rubbing the nape of his head, embarrassed at being caught.

“You remembered when I said… At the farmer’s market…” You stammered.

“Yes, you went on and on about how much you love tulips.” You suddenly remembered the photo before the brunch party. How Shohei was looking fondly at you as he listened to you rambling on about something trivial. It wasn’t trivial to him because it was important to you. And he remembered. 

You turned around and faced him. You held out a hand and wiped a bit of sweat off of his face. “Did you do all of this… on your own?”

He nodded shyly. “That’s not all, though.” He whistled and called Dusty.

“You’re the most stubborn and one hell of a fiery woman. But you’re also the sweetest, softest, clingiest woman I’ve lucked out on. You’re so beautiful sometimes it hurts. After that second kiss, I knew right away that I’d have to fight tooth and nail for you to keep needing and wanting me."

Dusty bursted out of Shohei’s garden stringing along a reluctant Fraulein scruffed by the neck. Both of them were wearing cute red bow ties on their neck each laced with individual messages. 

You pulled Dusty’s message and read, “I want to call you “mom” so will you be my dad’s girlfriend?

You squealed in delight as you unraveled the next message pinned on Fraulein’s bow tie: “I loved him first but can you keep him forever?”

You swooned and laughed at the corniness and the teeth-rotting sweetness. You can’t help but jump into Shohei’s arms and give him a big hug despite all the sweat and grime on his body. 

“Ew, you got all your sweat on me.” You playfully joked at the parting.

“Hmm, you have no choice but to shower with me now.” He lifted you by the waist and carried you on top of his shoulders, both of you laughing and shrieking like newly weds on honeymoon, Dusty and Fraulein at your tails. 

.This place, this scene, and this warmth spreading through your chest up to your fingertips, all of it and the familiarity of it, you realized, is the only thing you need to live a lifetime of love and happiness. You were wondering where it was all this time and you understand now that it had been right beside you all along.

[snowywolf1005]

@crazydreamchoas13 : Yes, please!! Can the reader also roast them at one point in front of sanji and then proceed to beat the hell out of Judges?! I need a Goth girl beat the sh*t out of an abusive family with zero effort!

Your wish is granted!

SANJI X WEDNESDAY ADDAMS READER X VINSMOKE FAMILY

You each have to date the vinsmoke brothers. First, you have ichiji. Second, you have niji, and last you have yonji.

Judge wants you to pick each of his sons to marry. Cause he is interested in your ability, if you have a baby, the baby will have no emotions like you.

But you don't want that. But you have no choice. So you and ichiji hang out, you two are having tea party.

Here you are drinking some tea, with red pepper (ichiji). "Say, I heard really about you, (Y/N)," said ichiji, you pretty disgust.

"Really?" You ask, sipping the cup. Ichiji smiles at you.

"Yes, I heard you, that you're pretty sexy and intelligent of your ability. Say your family is so lucky to have a very smart woman like you," he said, which made you pissed.

"Plus, I wonder why you dated the failure. He's weak and can't even become stronger. My brothers and I used to bully him a lot." Said ichiji, laughing.

That made you almost break the tea cup. "You know you're actually being dumb bitch, that I would called" you said, putting sugar on your tea.

That made ichiji stop laughing and looked at you, "What did you just say?!" He said slam the table. But you didn't know that sanji was watching you two.

And worrying you'll be injured. "When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change... expect the direction I was walking in." You said, sipping the cup.

Ichiji was pissed. "Do you want me to beat the hell out of you?!" He yelled. "Careful, your tea might get cold," you said, pointing at his tea.

Ichiji, look down at the tea cup, then you slap the table up, causing the table to hit Ichiji face. Ichiji covers his nose, and his nose is bleeding. Then he looks at you to realize that you disappeared.

Next niji. You and niji are watching the soldiers' training. You two are top of the castle outside. You heard that soldiers don't have fear of death.

"So, is there anything you like?" Niji ask, you ate some steak. "Raising spider and researching the Bermuda Triangle," you said. Niji looks a bit surprise.

"Well, aren't you a cutie devil. I love how charming you are." Said niji, with heart eyes. You not interest of him, less you hate about him. Niji is a bully. He bully's cosette and sanji, but he doesn't bully you.

"Say, I heard that you beat the hell, my brother ichiji. Can I ask why?" Niji question, you look at him. "He is annoying, so I don't feel interested in him," you said.

"Well, I'm surprise to see someone who can beat my brother. So, I think am I your lover boy. You've been looking for?" He asks, smiling. "No." You answered.

Niji smile drops when he heard your answer. "What do you mean no?! Don't you know what you're talking to?!" He yelled. you took a sip of your cup, "cause you're not other than a bully fucker,".

"What?! I'll make sure you take back, you just said!" Niji yelled. "Go make a hate page if you don't like me. Oh! Sorry, was I supposed to be offended?" You said, looking at niji face.

Niji was about to beat the living hell out of you. But you grab your tea and spill at niji body. But guess what? The tea is hot! Then you pull niji goggles and blow some pepper on his eyes.

You let go of his goggles, and it hit his his eyes. Niji screams in pain, then you kick... his... nuts. And you disappeared, plus by the way, sanji saw this in the window.

Last is yonji. Yonji is taking you somewhere. You don't know where, and sanji with you. "Where you taking us?" You ask, "have you ever wondered about the germa 66 soldier?" He asks.

You shook your head, and then he smiled. And the two of you made it, yonji pushed the door open. To reveal the soldiers in the tube, and you realize something, they're clones.

Yonji explained to you about the soldiers and Dr. Vegapunk research. That made sanji shock. "So, (Y/N), are you really gonna be my wife? Even though my two brothers fail, wait! Sanji is the number one failure," Yonji asks, which made sanji really, REALLY, pissed off.

"Absolutely not." You said that made yonji and sanji surprised. "What do you mean?!" He questioned, "Sorry, I can't think of insult dumb enough for you to understand." You said.

That's when sanji brothers arrive, and guess who wins? You. Yeah, by using each one of them as your walls. And you have a meeting with Judge.

He tried to fight you, but you actually win by using poison venom.

THANKS FOR READING!!!

ASK ME TO DO MORE!! Of...

SANJI X WEDNESDAY ADDAMS READER X VINSMOKE FAMILY!!!!

[queersouthasian]

Since Pit Babe's end is knocking at the door, I am back in my CharlieBabe feels. I think no relationship will get to me the way they did. I will always be in awe about how human they are and how much humans can love if they want to.

I will never get over how pain shaped Charlie and Babe so differently. Pain shaped Charlie's kindness, his way of loving and caring, his want to give. He has grown up to be the exact person he wished he had growing up. A kind soul who cares so much, who loves so much. But Charlie isn't naive or stupid. Even though he is a natural caretaker he doesn't let people take advantage of him. He is careful and smart while being a giver. And there is Babe, who just wanted to be loved and wanted to love, but was wounded in the attempt to do so that it ruined the definition of love for him. He started believing that love can only bring him pain. This pain shaped his defense. Even though he had found a family of his own, he didn't let anyone venture into those parts of him which hurt the most. He was a desirable sexy alpha racer for everyone, the "Pit Babe", until he became someone's "Phi Babe",

Charlie's arrival was like a gentle knock, where he lets him in thinking he could kick him away anytime, until he could no longer do so, till he feared the idea of the latter's absence alone. It's the way Charlie buries his pain under his smile whereas Babe does it under his cockyness, smugness, so called ego. Charlie picked up babe's broken pieces, some being so sharp it cut through him, but he kept picking those up. And he caressed them. Whereas babe took Charlie's and made them his. They both shared each other's pain. Charlie is loud in love and silent in pain just like babe is the opposite.

But what makes them and their love so human is their flaws. It's the way babe wants to fight along side Charlie but Charlie pushes him away so that he doesn't even get a single scratch on him. But can you blame him? Babe himself wants to fight together but at the face of danger, covers Charlie with his whole body, pushes him back so he doesn't get hurt, so no one can touch him. They can't find equality to save their fucking lives 'cause they are each other's priority, at the face of danger, they would both die and kill for the other.

Their love brings pain and grief as well. Charlie lies and lies 'cause when it comes to his beloved being safe and happy, he would do anything. Anything. Babe may hate him but atleast he will be safe and in peace but Charlie can't fathom that. Charlie fears babe hating him, misunderstanding him. That's why instead of being happy after the "death" that babe is safe, everything assured, he is grieving and is in guilt. He has caused his lover pain again unintentionally. Whereas for babe this grief hits different. He thinks he deserved it, 'cause he didn't let Charlie know how much he meant to him, how much he loved him when he could. He lost Charlie, he lost that one thing he had which he didn't even dare to wish for before, a love, a genuine lover. It was like loosing something extremely valuable for him. He was supposed to keep him safe. But he lost him. He blames himself for not loving his beloved in the same volume. Whenever they locked eyes before, babe had this "I can't believe I have you, What did I do to deserve you" whereas Charlie has this "you deserve every piece of me and more" look on their faces, in their stares. Babe would look like he has found the most beautiful angel whereas Charlie would look like babe has hung stars in the sky. In the last ep, when Charlie comes in to save, even though still physically weak, driven by rage that people hurt babe, his face changes from anger to concern and love and guilt, "I am here for you" whereas for babe his eyes immediately turn red glistening with tears, bewilderment mixed with hope. A hope of finally finding that lost thing, a "finally you are here"

This relationship will last beyond generations and lifetimes, in which every version of them, will search for the other. A love so human it feels like a hope. A hope to love again.

[creedslove]

STUDYING

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

A/N: I got the inspiration for this piece during my own spanish class this week, I was supposed to be paying attention but I was thinking of him and my upcoming test and got distracted. Also, it's worth to mention that reader studies Spanish in a language school that teaches adults foreign languages just like I do in real life (and I'm 26) which means there's NOTHING to do with highschool or underage reader at all. If this kind of school isn't a thing in your country then it's too bad, lol!

Summary: Pedro helps you study and get your Spanish essay done on time but you get distracted by your personal tutor at home

Warnings: fluff, sweet boyfriend Pedro and a tiny bit of smut towards the end

1.2k words

It was about your third or fourth sigh that caught Pedro's attention. He knew you were having your moment of studying and he always made sure to give you your space, so you could focus, do your tasks, spread all your pens and papers with endless notes across the table and finish everything on time.

However, this time he could tell by the times you ripped pages off your notebook and crumpled it things weren't going so smoothly. He'd borrowed one of your highlighters to highlight his lines in the new script he was engaging into, being comfortable in the living room when he heard you mumbling something about 'fucking that shit'

He frowned curiously as he knew you absolutely adored studying Spanish, you enjoyed it so much you often spent hours making cute and colorful vocabulary summaries you'd learned in class, and you were nerdy to the point of writing essays without the teacher requesting them, just for fun, writing about random topics you enjoyed.

And Pedro was also aware you didn't study Spanish because of him. You'd been studying it for at least a year before you two met, knowing it had to do with the possibility of getting a better position, or a new job, or a nice trip abroad or even understanding movies and series. As he knew, you loved studying languages and that was one of the things he loved about you. And also the fact he could practice it at home with you, enjoying the fact you very often got his internal jokes or pet names you called each other.

In reality, he knew he wasn't the reason why you started learning Spanish, but he knew he was the reason why you kept studying it and made sure to get good results. And he loved it.

One thing you really enjoyed about Pedro was that he never intruded in your business. He knew you were smart enough to learn it by yourself and only if you needed help he would offer some. You avoided asking him for help as much as you could, you just wanted to do things on your own and you also loved his proud face when you were able to carry full conversations on different topics or understand a whole movie without having to rely on subtitles. But that essay was driving you insane.

Your test was coming up and it made you nervous. For the first time, you began feeling the difficulties in the language as the grammar was becoming harder and harder and you didn't know what else you could do to memorize that. Your essay, or composición as your boyfriend would say, was stressing you out, as nothing seemed good enough, you've written better, hell, even Pedro had told you many times how good your writing was and he wouldn't lie to you, that's for sure. But yet, you weren't convinced and when you finished that piece of shit you called a text you were already exhausted.

You began collecting your pens and pencils and organizing them back into the case and cleaning up the table when Pedro walked towards you. He had a sweet smile on his face and gently stroked your cheek, his curious brown eyes scanned the place until they fell onto your work.

"¿Qué pasa mi amor?" He asked in his beautiful, sexy accent and pulled a chair, sitting next to you. "I know you can do everything, but if you want, I can help you" he offered gently, not really thinking you'd agree with it, but when you handed him your text he grabbed his reading glasses, those black ones you loved and that always distracted you. At that point, you didn't give one single shit about tests, grades or evaluations, you would love to climb his lap and ride your handsome boyfriend while he dirty talked in spanish into your ear until exhaustion.

You barely noticed him talking to you, you were too busy looking at him, his tight sweater looking great on him, his messy soft hair, the way he softly bit his lips unconsciously when he focused on reading and those damn glasses.

"Y/N? Princesa? Are you listening to me?" He raised his brow and stared at you, waiting for you to reply. You swallowed hard and looked at him, feeling your cheeks flushing as you were caught fantasizing about your boyfriend.

"Y-yeah, I am, sorry cariño, I was just thinking of the test" you lied and looked at what he was pointing out in the paper. Pedro had taken a red pen and circled some words, you had either misspelled those or just put them in the wrong place, but overall your text was pretty decent. He gently explained you what you got wrong and how you could fix it better, though he could also tell you weren't really caring about that at the moment and knowing his sweet little puta very well, he knew whatever was on your mind had nothing to do with tests or school.

"Are you having wet dreams about your Spanish teacher, Y/N?" He folded his arms and looked at you "because I can just tell your mind is miles away from your studies and by the way you are clenching your thighs together you are probably very wet now" he smirked and loved how red you got. You knew there was no way you could fight that and lying would be just stupid. You bit your lips and chuckled, placing your hand on his thigh "I would have these if they fired that annoying cunt and hired you instead, though I can't complain about my private tutor" you whispered and leaned into his body, kissing his exposed neck gently and before he had any other action, you got up and immediately sat on his lap, facing him and pecking his soft lips gently, feeling his facial hair tickling you. His hands immediately wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, at the same time you raised your ass lifting your skirt up and feeling the contact of his rough jeans against your thin panties, moving your hips slowly against his, the friction on your core sending shivers down your spine just as Pedro felt his pants tightening at how hard he got.

"I know you want to help me, but we both agree this isn't my best work, so I can even rewrite it later if you want, but now…" you kissed him deeper this time and you felt how Pedro bucked his hips against yours, looking for more touch, more exposure of your skin on his.

"Y/N… you're teasing me" he groaned and only got a smirk as a reply

"Lo que quiero decir és que podríamos hacer otras cosas ahora, papi… ¿Qué te parece?" You whispered against his ear knowing it drove him insane when you spoke with him like that.

Pedro pulled your panties to the side and ran his thumb up and down your hard clit, feeling how wet you were and nodded.

"Sí, pero si no te vayas bien and la prueba, voy a darte un castigo" he whispered back against your lips and slapped your ass hard, making you whimper and feel your cheek burn, as you definitely knew what kind of punishment he'd give you.

______

A/N: this is my first one shot after years of not writing. I hope it wasn't so bad and there might be a second part to it because I still have many Spanish tasks to carry out which means there might be more ideas, hopefully a little bit more smut this time. Also I posted it through the app and it somehow got worse when it comes to editing posts 🤌

Anyway, feedback = life

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

Billy tries to be as quiet and inconspicuous as possible when he enters the living room, easing down into a seat on the sofa with a plate packed full of finger food in his hands.

He's been steadily picking at the spread in the kitchen all afternoon — he isn't even really hungry anymore, but it's at least something to keep him occupied. He tries not to think about how he's eating out of boredom as he pops a mini quiche in his mouth.

As if having a sixth sense, Eddie turns around in his seat on the floor. Spreads a smile and crawls toward the sofa, leaning his elbows in Billy’s lap as he gazes up at him like he’s some ethereal being.

“Hey, blondie,” he lilts. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Billy snorts.

“Aren’t you supposed to be playing your game?”

“We’re having an intermission,” Eddie huffs. Leans further into Billy’s lap and wraps his arms around his waist. “Besides, I miss you.”

“Miss me? Munson, we sleep in the same bed every night.”

“And?”

“And you’re a fuckin’ dork,” Billy chuckles.

Eddie pouts. Hides his face in the front of Billy’s hoodie, and the blond has to fight every urge he has to suck his stomach in, lest Eddie pout even harder.

It’s taken some getting used to, the changes in his body. Especially after he quit smoking.

Had he known he would develop a permanent case of the munchies, he might’ve just stayed his course. Maybe he’d still have abs.

Maybe he’d still feel sexy.

Regardless, here Eddie is, smushing his face into his stomach like he’s a pillow. Billy takes a bite out of a chocolate-covered strawberry and sets his plate on the brunet’s back. Eddie doesn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah, well, you’re gorgeous,” Eddie says like it’s an insult. “And smart, and sweet, and funny, and—“

“Jesus, I get it, you like me. You can stop now.”

Eddie shakes his head. Presses a kiss to Billy’s stomach, which has the blond’s face blossoming red, and rubs up and down at his sides.

“I adore you. Wanna snuggle with you all day everyday and never do anything else.”

“Not even play D&D?”

“Nope.”

From behind him, Grant and Jeff both scoff, and Billy spreads a smile. Cards his hand through Eddie’s hair.

“I don’t think the guys like that idea.”

“Tough shit. How am I expected to function when you come in here looking all pretty ‘n stuff?”

Billy chuckles. Eddie grins at the sound.

“I’m wearing pajamas,” Billy points out. “And my hair’s not even done.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs dreamily.

“Mm, well, if you’re cuddling me all the time, when does my other boyfriend get a chance? Doesn’t sound very fair to me.”

“I don’t see this other boyfriend that you speak of. Plus, I’m calling dibs for the rest of time, so he’s outta luck.”

“You’re telling me you’re never gonna cuddle with Stevie again? Just me, forever?”

Eddie ponders the question for a long moment, and Billy chuckles again.

“Damn,” he muses. “You really do like me that much, huh?”

“I do,” Eddie admits. “I would miss being Stevie’s little spoon, though.”

Gareth snorts, clapping his hand on the coffee table.

“Wait, you’re the little spoon? Big bad Munson is Steve Harrington’s little spoon,” he cackles. “That’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

Billy grabs his plate again just in time for Eddie to sit up and swivel around enough to cast a glare at his friend. It makes Gareth laugh even harder.

“Dude, you’ve literally heard me call him my princess and shit before, but you’re choosing to make fun of me over this?”

“I always thought that was you poking fun at his masculinity or something.”

Eddie shakes his head and clicks his tongue.

“Stevie is my pretty princess,” he lilts. Glances up at Billy and chews his lip. “And Billy bear is my little babycakes. He’s the baby, actually.”

Billy’s face flushes red all the way down his neck.

“I am not,” he huffs.

“Yes huh, you’re baby girl, baby doll— you love that shit. We wouldn’t say any of it if you didn’t.”

There’s a polite chuckle from around the room and Billy scoffs.

Eddie notably softens. He rubs at Billy’s thighs, leaning forward to press another kiss to his stomach and humming pleasantly when his lips make contact.

“The nicknames just mean that we love you,” he coos.

“Guess I just think you both have weird taste,” Billy murmurs, then huffs a laugh to himself. “If I nicknamed myself, it’d probably be something like lardass.”

Eddie makes a shocked noise of offense and furrows his brows.

“Hey, no one talks about my boyfriend like that.”

“No? What’re you gonna do about it?”

“I’m gonna tell on you.” Billy’s smirk falters and Eddie hums triumphantly. “I’m gonna tell Steve. He’ll baby you about it and pull out some old family recipe he’s got locked away just to make you eat your words.”

Billy presses his lips together. Thinks about the last time he made a self-deprecating comment in front of Steve. Thinks about how it was definitely a handful of pounds ago.

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

He pushes his fingers into Eddie’s hair. The brunet leans into his touch, but spreads this sickening little grin. All teeth and no remorse.

“Then I guess you better take it back,” he lilts. Billy locks his jaw shut. Eddie clicks his tongue and pokes teasingly at his side. “There’s no downside for me, I like a little extra fluff. Nobody likes thin pancakes.”

“Pancakes?”

“Mhmm,” Eddie hums. “You’re like a stack of ‘em.”

Billy quirks a brow.

“How so?”

“I fuckin’ love pancakes.” Eddie flattens his palm against Billy’s side and rubs gently back and forth. “Plus, y’know, they’re soft and warm. Pillow-like.”

A little smile quirks at the corners of Billy’s mouth. Some part of him wants to take offense, but he can’t. Not when big brown eyes are gazing up at him so fondly. He scratches softly at Eddie’s scalp and has him all but purring, eyes slipping shut as he melts under the touch.

“You’ve never had crêpes?” Billy asks.

Eddie’s eyes crack open.

“What?”

“Crêpes,” Billy repeats. Chuckles when Eddie looks at him like he’s growing a second head. “Thin pancakes? They’re Stevie’s favorite, I’m surprised you didn’t notice. He always orders them when we go to the diner downtown.”

Eddie sits up straighter. Thinks hard for a moment, like his whole world is crashing down.

“Is that what those things are?”

“What did you think they were?”

“I dunno— not pancakes.” Eddie pouts when he’s laughed at, but still fixes Billy with a serious look. “Brushing past the fact that you just ruined my whole analogy, I maintain that you’re perfect just the way you are.” That little grin comes back full-fledged in a matter of seconds. “Besides, crêpes always have filling, don’t they?”

It’s Billy’s turn to pout while Eddie snickers at him.

“Whatever. Just don’t tell Steve.”

“Why, you scared he’s gonna put pounds on you?” Eddie pinches his side and earns a huff. “You still haven’t taken back what you said.”

“‘Cause I don’t want to. Don’t see why you’re so hung up on it.”

This time, Eddie looks… disappointed. It hurts Billy deep in his chest, like he swallowed a shard of tortilla chip that refuses to go down smoothly.

“If someone was talking shit about Steve right in front of you, what would you do?” Eddie asks.

“I’d rock their shit.”

“Why?”

Billy shrugs.

“I dunno, it’d piss me off.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it’s Steve,” Billy huffs. “I don’t— I don’t like the idea of anyone talking shit about him. That’s my boyfriend.”

Eddie nods. Tilts his head to the side and slowly begins to rub up and down at Billy’s waist, similar to how he had been earlier.

“Then why is this any different? I still get to be upset when I hear someone talking shit about you, even if it’s you who’s doing the shit-talking.”

Billy’s mouth opens, but then promptly closes again. Is this the same guy who was comparing him to pancakes a minute ago?

A moment passes. Then another. Eddie just stares up at him expectantly, and Billy says nothing. It’s a stand-off. A battle of will. Billy’s fixing to cave when the front door opens and the tension is suddenly broken, yet somehow doubles at the same time.

“Intermission?” Steve asks.

He hangs his keys up and shrugs out of his coat once the door is shut behind him, already wearing an easy smile.

“Unofficially,” Gareth grumbles.

Eddie shoots him a glare, but is quick to soften when Steve leans over the back of the sofa and drapes his arms around Billy’s shoulders.

“Hey, baby,” Steve greets. Ignores the knowing giggle from around the room in favor of pressing a kiss into Billy’s curls. “Thought you’d still be asleep when I got back.”

More kisses land in his hair as Billy purses his lips.

“It’s almost six.”

“Mhmm,” Steve hums.

In an instant, Eddie gets this look on his face, and Billy’s stomach drops. He opens his mouth, but Steve is too quick.

“Have you just been eating junk?” He asks, gesturing to Billy’s plate.

The blond glances at his little collection of nibbled-at finger food. Tries not to think about how many plates of it he’s had already.

“Yeah, just… snacking,” he says timidly.

Steve tsks. Billy almost flinches at the sound.

“Well, that won’t do.” Steve nabs the plate from Billy’s hand and pops a cube of cheddar in his mouth. “Tell me what you want, bubs, and I’ll make it.”

Billy feels like he’s on fire.

“Lasagna?”

A sheepish smile finds its way onto his face when his chin is tilted up, and Steve plants a kiss directly on his lips.

“Coming right up.”

Then the brunet vanishes from behind the couch, padding into the kitchen to root around for a casserole dish before he’s even taken his shoes off.

On the floor, Eddie bites back on a giggle.

“I didn’t even have to tell him,” he whispers amusedly. Leans completely into Billy’s lap and hugs his torso again, half smothering himself in Billy’s stomach. “Hope you’re hungry, Bill, ‘cause it’s pancake time.”

For emphasis, he gives Billy’s side a squeeze, which has him huffing irritatedly.

“No, we’re having lasagna,” Steve calls. There’s a clatter as he moves about the kitchen. “We can have pancakes tomorrow night.”

Eddie gives in to the giggles, shoulders shaking as he hides his face in the front of Billy’s hoodie.

Finally accepting defeat, Billy sighs. Cards his fingers through Eddie’s hair while he laughs, trying to find it in himself to be upset about what’s to come.

But his mouth is already watering before the oven is even done preheating.

[elliesslvt]

ellie williams x curly/kinky hair! fem! reader (modern au)

ʚĭɞೃ author's note: i’ve been wanted to write something for the curly/kinky girls that love ellie so this is it!

ʚĭɞೃ descriptions/warning: 745 words; black! fem reader, pet names, modern au, pure fluff (like super fluffy)

am i hurting you babe?”

“no ellie, you’re doing amazing.”

ellie always watched you detangle your hair every other day before bed, so when she asked to do it for you one day it was no surprise that she was a natural at it. once you got used to her detangling your hair it was hard to go back to doing it yourself, so it became routine that days like this when you were too tired she would do it for you.

“have i ever told you how much i love your natural hair?”

“everyday.” you said as you turned around to place a gentle kiss on her lips. ellie put down the wide tooth comb she was using to detangle your hair and placed her fingers on your jaw to turn your face up to make it easier for her to kiss you. she bit your bottom lip then swirled her tongue around your tongue as she broke apart from your full lips she began placing small kisses across your jaw.

“ellie you’re supposed to be detangling my hair so we can go watch mulan then go to bed.”

“you started it princess”

“oh please el.”

sometimes you couldn’t believe ellie was your girlfriend. you had been crushing on her for months before she asked you on a date. ever since then you two had been inseparable. she’d given reassurance and made you feel comfortable in a way you had never been in any of your other relationships.

you watched ellie’s biceps flex in the mirror as you watched the wide comb glide down your hair strands in a trance. you lost your train of thought fixating on her arms before her voice snapped you back to reality.

“what’re you staring at loser?”

“oh just my sexy, cute, funny, awesome girlfriend.”

“oh shove it and let me finish your hair baby so we can watch this movie.”

after ellie finished detangling all the sections of your hair she oiled your scalp with an oil she found in her bathroom then slipped on your pink bonnet that she kept at her place whenever you slept at her place on your head. you both decided it would be smart to brush your teeth so in case you both decided to fall asleep. once you both finished, you two began making your way toward ellie’s bedroom. while walking you let out a small yawn.

“i swear if you go to sleep during this movie, we’re going to have a problem y/n.”

“i am not! and my name is babe, baby, or princess to you.”

“yeah yeah.”

as you made you way onto ellie’s bed she harshly smacked your ass. “ellie that hurts!” you whined.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry.”

once you both were situated on her bed, you snuggled up against ellie’s chest under the sheets. while cuddling ellie you could smell your shampoo on her auburn hair.

“your hair smells like mine now.”

“yeah i used your shampoo.”

“ellie my shampoo is expensive!”

“i’ll just buy another baby, no biggie.”

“no biggie.” you mocked, mimicking her voice the best way you could.

ellie let out a small laugh as she hit the play button for the movie. although ellie told you not to fall asleep during the movie she already knew you would. whenever you would beg her to watch disney movies together you’d always end up falling asleep before the movie was over.

a few minutes into the movie ellie felt your chest beginning to slowly rise and fall which led her to confirm that you had dozed off.

as you were cuddled up against ellie sleeping, she admired how the tvs fluorescent lights shined on your skin.

ellie decided to continuously tap your shoulder to annoy you before she let you fall asleep.

“leave me alone ngh.”

“you’re such a liar y/n. you’re lucky i love you i swear.”

ellie continued to watch the movie alone as you dozed off while cuddling onto her torso. you began to stir in your sleep which caused ellie traced small circles on your back to try and soothe you.

as the movie continued ellie felt herself beginning to grow more tired by the minute.

once the ending credits began to roll on the flat screen tv she grabbed the remote to turn off the tv. she admired you while you slept before she began to fall asleep also.

[titleleaf]

very curious about any dune perfume thoughts you may have

DUNE PERFUME THOUGHTS...

I feel like with all of Ferbert's tropes around effeminate overly-refined decadence there \_really_ needs to be more perfume action among the houses of the Landsraad, even if for no other reason than conspicuous consumption? The olfactive aspect of spice isn't really centered since its other psychoactive/pharmaceutical merits are more valued, but I've been really curious about the mechanism by which spice is ingested, if everybody's either eating it with their food or drinking it in solution or what. (Or, I guess, floating around in it.) Mentally I guess I'd been picturing spice more like an incense resin than an actual spice, but there's no textual justification or actual reason for that other than really liking incense.

Paul and Jessica both seem especially attuned to scent in the first book, linking it to poison detection but also to the presence of spice, which is probably smart when you're backpacking across Arrakis trying not to get blown up or space stabbed. Spice melange in the raw smells like cinnamon, pre-spice mass has a “rank, semisweet" odor, the Baron's private conference room carries a “faint sweet herb scent that hung on the air, masking a deeper musk”... lot going on in there! Idk if we’re supposed to assume it’s a human body-type musk derived from the Baron’s libertinage, something from the furnishings, or a fragrance element, but I really love the idea of this kind of uncomfortably exquisite sensory space. (And then Piter smells like squeaky latex gloves.) Per the Dune Encyclopedia, there's one fragrant drug whose whole mechanism of action is making you think it smells really really good:

PLENISCENTA (Rosa osymyrrah), the "Green Perfume Flower," is a small, delicate shrub with variegated leaves: the blooms are a brilliant emerald green and, when taken from Ecaz and sterilized, decompose with a most exquisite smell. Pleniscenta perfume has a benign psychomimetic effect: it overwhelms the olfactory nerves and causes localized synaptic responses which the brain interprets as indescribably pleasurable smells.

(Pleniscenta is also one of the flowering plants in the conservatory on Arrakis.)

The other big perfume culture question I have wrt the world of Dune/the various cultures represented in Dune is: what's the alcohol situation???? Social drinking isn’t the only determinant of alcohol based perfumery vs oil based (and there are lots of historical ways of incorporating scent that aren’t either one, which I would love to see incorporated into the corporate-feudal future of Dune) but it would be fun to explore different cultural uses of fragrance in that context.

For character-specific scents, oh this is so tough… there’s a big cast and a lot of high class weirdos to be represented but I think Etat Libre d’Orange has some fun scents for House Atreides. The Baron and Feyd are both pleasantly scented in ways that fall right into the same vein of weird stereotypes that House Harkonnen does (so, spicy resiny ambery scents some long-dead French guy decided reminded him of The Orient(tm), that well known cultural monolith????) but I think Piter’s scentscape would need to be made by a brand that specializes in really sterile chemical smells like Xyrena’s theme park bromine notes. (Not that he smells like a theme park dark ride, just that kind of “not existing in nature in any way” thing.) For Arrakis and Fremen characters I would want to go in the opposite direction and explore small-batch natural perfumery. I don’t own a damn thing from For Strange Women etc. because of the cost but I would want to seek out an indie natural brand that draws from desert botanicals (maybe some uncommon animal ingredients like hyrax? Rock hyraxes 🤝 sandworms) and wildcrafting, thinking of all the space ecology at work and the super sophisticated scarcity-minded tech the Fremen employ in that. And the Bene Gesserit are sexy liturgical incense girlies, ofc.

[geneeste]

https://arstechnica.com/science/2022/10/us-publics-trust-in-scientists-reverts-to-pre-pandemic-levels/?comments=1&post=41332618

It’s wild how on the nose this comment is:

Comment text in image:

“I really wish reporters would do a better job on this topic. Republicans don't 'distrust science'. Republicans, as they are made up today, are primarily concerned they will fall out of the dominant culture (white christians) in the US and that other cultures will continue to get acknowledgement and respect in policy decisions. Understand that almost all policy decisions - and this is true pretty much everywhere - have a cultural element to them. France's headscarf ban isn't based on science, but on armchair sociology which is part of their culture. Same for tax rates which feel too high or low, but aren't based on some hard math economic model, and so on. 18 as an age of consent is a number pulled out of the air (should be higher for some people, maybe it could be lower for others), as is a 40 hour work week, 21 to drink, 65 to retire, etc. and what we consider 'good' or 'bad' are largely cultural. Eating dogs and horses is 'bad' but pigs are as smart as dogs.

Republicans don't distrust science. But because Republicans are losing the culture war pretty profoundly (I know recent court decisions would suggest otherwise, but the public is increasingly accepting of the things they think should be illegal) the thing they *really* fear is losing cultural authority - the ability to veto other cultures. They lost the ability to veto the LGBTQ community as Americans are increasingly accepting of gay and trans people. Black media increasingly stands alongside white media. Latino and asian media are making gains as well. Disability communities are also making headway. All of these other cultural groups are gaining influence in how the broader community see them, and as a result they get more of a seat at the policy table. To Republicans, all of these gains represent a loss of cultural veto power, which is why the overt racism and antisemitism are ramping up - they are pushing harder against a trend that isn't going their way. They say they are being replaced, but they aren't. They just have to survive a multicultural space like everyone else for the first time in 400 years. This is why they get pissed off when the green M&M isn't sexy any more - *they didn't get a say*. It's a bit of culture that changed which they didn't get a say in, and that's both terrifying and infuriating to them. They're *supposed* to have cultural authority.

Science is a difficult category in this environment because sometimes is favors your cultural instincts and sometimes it doesn't. But when your cultural foundation for lawmaking (white christian culture) is being eroded any scientific view that undermines your cultural instincts feels like a threat. But the real threat is when that scientific view arrives when you are out of power. See, there's nothing that prevented Trump from leaning into the science when Covid broke out, and Republicans would have lined up behind it, because it wasn't the science they opposed, but *who was setting the policy based on that science*. If Trump put his weight behind it, they'd be on board, because it preserves their authority by branding it as a Republican policy - and that really what they want. Because Fauci (not a Republican) was pushing against Trump, because Trump instinctually opposes vaccines and decided that Covid was bad for his polling, that's what made the science toxic to Republicans. Fauci and Democratic officials in states, and then Biden, setting the policies was what mattered. There was a hot minute there where Mike DeWine in Ohio was pulling in the right direction but Trump got in front of the whole thing.

This is also the dynamic behind the election denialism. They don't believe the election was stolen because of evidence. They believe the election was stolen because if it wasn't, than a loss by 7 million votes by the president that has fought harder for that white christian culture (I mean, opening fire on a Black Lives Matter protest in order to hold up a bible at a photo op is pretty fucking on the nose there) and presumably had that culture most strongly aligned behind him would be evidence that they have fallen into the minority permanently. If white christian culture was dominant numerically, they should have won that easily. It's the inability to accept their minority status that *requires* the election be stolen, because the alternative means that the whole game is up - 400 years of slavery and genocide and a civil war to preserve that cultural dominance is finally lost. Maybe just barely, but lost all the same.

My point is that Republicans aren't anti science, but science will be sacrificed as just another pawn in the culture war if that's what is required. If you aren't explaining *why* this is happening, then you are somewhat insinuating that it's the fault of the scientists and leaving the readers to wonder why some scientific views are embraced and others aren't, and the answer has nothing to do with science or scientists. It has everything to do with the messenger and what the science says about their message. I know that seems to over-politicize the topic, but you put 'partisan' in the headline, so you were willing to open the door, just not walk all the way through.”

[lemoncrushh]

Cubicle // 4) Anticipation

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Word Count: 925

Friday // Roni

It's Friday morning and I'm feeling refreshed because for once I slept like a baby. This time I was smart. As soon as I crawled under the covers last night I masturbated thinking about Harry. Then I fell right to sleep.

Harry and I had a nice lunch yesterday. It was lovely weather so we walked to the end of the block to Cafe Meringue and sat outside. He made jokes as we people watched, and once he made me laugh so hard I had to excuse myself to the ladies' room. I really enjoyed his company, and I was thrilled that this was just a prelude to tonight's date.

The idea that there was a possibility of Harry kissing me goodnight was titillating and overwhelming. When we got back to the office and separated to our respective cubicles, I let my mind wander to the thought until I was jerked back into reality by Gerard who asked me to type something for him.

The rest of the day's tasks kept me busy and before I knew it, it was time to leave. I didn't see Harry again, but when I was sitting on the couch eating leftovers and watching Friends reruns, I got a text from him.

Lunch again tomorrow?

My inner teenager squealed as I replied.

Mr. Styles, you're going to get sick of me before we even have our first date.

His next text had me biting my lip.

I doubt that.

I pondered what to say when he texted again.

If if makes you feel better, we can consider today our first date. So by the time we go out tomorrow night, it will already be our third.

I giggled as I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger.

I'd like that.

So yes to lunch?

Yes.

Harry

Yes. I must have stared at the word for an hour. Three little letters, but they aroused me so much. I wanted to kick myself for not calling her instead. I might have been lucky enough to hear her say it over the phone in her sexy voice. Yes.

I played it cool yesterday at lunch. I was a gentleman, but didn't overdo it. I offered to buy her meal, but she insisted she pay for her own. I cracked some jokes which she laughed at. Like a genuine laugh, not the fake laugh that some girls do because they think the chap will like them better. On the walk back to the office, I kept my hands in my pockets merely to keep myself from touching her. I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist or even hold her hand as juvenile as that sounds. But I knew neither would be appropriate. Damn, this woman is actually making me hold off on the things I really want to do. Hopefully, all that will change tonight.

Okay, I'm not a total wanker. I think I know how to treat a lady. I'm not going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. But let me say this. Anything she is willing to do, I'm all for it. I know I haven't even known her a week yet, but I've spent almost every waking moment fantasizing about her in some sort of sexual position. I can't get her out of my mind.

Like right now, I'm supposed to be working on a report for a client, but instead I'm anticipating lunch with Roni. There's not really that many places to eat within walking distance, so I'll probably have to take her somewhere in my car. The thought of her sat next to me, her long legs and tight skirt against the leather seat is enough to give me a boner.

I haven't seen her yet this morning. I must have missed her in the parking lot because I spotted her car when I pulled in. I hoped maybe I'd catch her in the break room, but the only people I saw when I walked in were Gerard and his salesman buddy whose name escapes me, so I quickly got my tea and returned to my desk.

Roni

Shit. Shit, shit shit! I can't fucking believe this.

When Greta returned to her office and I finally had a moment alone in my cubicle, I texted Harry. I could already feel his disappointment before I even sent it.

Harry, I'm so very sorry. I have to cancel lunch today. There's a sales luncheon that I had to organize, but I had no idea I have to be present.

I gnawed at my fingernails as I waited for his text. Instead, my phone rang.

"Harry, I'm —" I began when I answered it.

"It's okay," Harry interrupted. "Can't say I'm not disappointed. I was looking forward to it. At least we still have tonight."

"Yes, definitely," I assured him.

"Hopefully you won't cancel on me."

Ugh, my heart ached. "No, never, I promise!"

"Alright then," Harry voiced in his low sexy tone. "I'll give you a call later to get your address."

"Sounds lovely," I replied.

"Have fun at your luncheon," he teased.

"Fuck, Harry," I groaned under my breath. "This is going to be torture. I might as well bring a pillow and take a nap."

Harry chuckled as we said our goodbyes. Then I looked at the time on my phone. 11:52AM. Eight hours until our date. I took a deep breath and made my way towards the conference room, hoping the rest of the day would fly by.

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