#which would be smart except they still celebrate it

[doverstar]

I wish I liked Wednesday more but she's actually kind of a butt

[demigod-shenanigans]

Thinking about the lost trio’s mortal parents

Thinking about Esperanza and Beryl both being clear-sighted (it’s said that Beryl knew who Zeus was, both times, and Esperanza specifically talked to Leo about his powers and seemed to know who Hera was).

Thinking about Beryl, who was famous and had so much and who did everything to stay in the public eye. Who would have given it all, including sacrificing her own kids, to get Zeus’ attention back. Who only ever wanted Zeus for herself and never for her children. Who named Jason to placate Juno’s anger and ultimately gave up Jason to her. Who even in death remained bitter and blamed Thalia running away for her own choices and her death, saying she left when Beryl needed her the most, despite the fact that Thalia was nine and severely neglected and thought Beryl had killed her brother and an adult’s choices should never have been her responsibility to begin with. Beryl blamed it all on Olympus and showed no regret for her actions. Who thought she could just neglect both of her children and abandon her two year old with no consequences and that Jason would still join her. Who only cared about Jason once he was a hero and a warrior, and even then only cared for him as a tool of revenge she could use against the gods.

Thinking about Esperanza, who had nothing. Who was smart and skilled and barely scraping by despite her degree. Who would have given everything to keep her son safe. Who had a son prophecied to be a hero and tried to look the Fates in the eye and say no, because he was her son first and destined for bigger things second. Who banned Hera, the queen of the gods, from their apartment because the gods couldn’t have Leo, not yet, not when he was still so young. Who still tried to prepare Leo, with everything she had, because she knew she couldn’t keep him from his fate in the long run, but also knew there were at least tools she could give him that would help. Who, despite knowing that a god had once loved her, only wanted Hephaestus as a father for Leo, never as a partner for herself. Who only ever worried about the ways she could fail Leo, never about him failing her. Who was happiest around her son and loved him more than her own life. Who, even in death, never could have blamed Leo.

Thinking about Tristan, who is in some ways a mirror to both Beryl and Esperanza. Tristan grew up with nothing and eventually, as an adult, he suddenly had everything, except the things that really mattered to him. He couldn’t keep Aphrodite and never fell in love again after her. Tristan can’t see through the Mist, but he had his heart shattered by the mythological world anyway, even without seeing. He couldn’t save his father because at the time he didn’t have the money to pay for the treatment, he only became famous after.

His relationship with his daughter is really strained. He’s probably terrified of losing Piper like he lost his dad and Piper’s mom. Tristan works and works and works because he thinks if they just have enough he can keep Piper safe (because even if he couldn’t have kept her mom that way, enough money absolutely could have saved his dad), but that makes him unable to give Piper his attention, which is what she needs the most. Hell, he thinks he’s protecting her by keeping her away from his celebrity nonsense, and in a way he sort of is, but it’s not what Piper wants.

Thinking about Tristan seeing through the Mist in TLH and breaking. Thinking about Tristan finally seeing Piper, and her having to give up the one thing she’s wanted all this time and make him look away again because it shatters him.

Esperanza and Beryl could both see their children for who they were, one for the better, the other for the worse. Tristan can never see Piper for who she truly is. We’ve seen how it would destroy him if he did.

Thinking about Tristan losing everything until the only thing he has left to give Piper is his attention—and that’s enough. (I still wish that had been a choice on his part after realizing that’s what Piper wants and needs instead of being forced on him, but I digress.)

Tristan could have been more like Beryl. Their stories are decently similar. But even though he can never fully see Piper for who she is, and even though it took him longer than it should have, when his daughter needed him most, he turned around and learned to be more like Esperanza.

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

BETCHA!

noa had expected that giving advice to kaiser on his love life would be no easy feat, but when kaiser realizes that you have next-to-no interest in him, the german prodigy works up a storm in his master’s office. noa can only pray that he has the patience to whip kaiser into the true romantic gentleman you deserve. (+insp.)

gender neutral reader

content warning(s): kaiser x reader except it’s mostly noa teaching kaiser how to not be a shitty lover

Noa knew that becoming the mentor and master of any team would be far from an easy job. 

He had braced himself for the worst when he agreed to teach Bastard Munchen everything in his own arsenal, to lead the new youth team to become soccer’s future for when he would one day inevitably retire. He was more than aware of the nasty personalities the sport seemed to bring out from everyone (himself included, he had to admit), and he had readied himself to see sparks fly in all the worst ways possible as the teenage boys butted heads with each other.

Growing pains, he chalked it up to. Even he was once like that. Hungry, desperate, ready to prove himself to the world as the true diamond-in-the-rough amongst the common pebbles all around him.

He had braced himself for physical fights, with the youths squabbling with each other over who should have scored. And he got plenty of that. He also got plenty of haranguing them into getting up early in the mornings for practice and fighting to keep them motivated into the unforgiving hours of the night. He had braced himself for dealing with all of their managerial issues, from the boys transferring teams to needing travel visas and whatnot. 

All of the little things he had grown used to and faced during his own career, Noa was more than equipped to deal with. And he believed he solved each and every one of these problems with the same level head and grace that secured him his spot as the world’s number one striker.

What Noa wasn’t prepared for, however, were the issues involved with the budding relationships the Bastard Munchen players would face. His advice for their romantic lives were usually the same: make smart choices, stay out of paparazzi’s sight, and be respectful. That typically did the job for most of his mentees, and Noa could put his busy mind at rest.

Except for one specific boy who seemed to make it his life’s reason to break every rule that Noa had set in place for them.

Noa was sick and tired of cleaning up after every mess Kaiser made. He was used to Kaiser dragging in all sorts of celebrities and famous people he had hit it off with in a club or some other place, bragging about how he had finally found the one, to which Noa was always patient (and quick to remind the young boy that he had still yet to turn 20 and most definitely had not found “the one” quite yet). Like clockwork, a week would pass, and Kaiser would be on the quest to find the next person to entertain his fickle heart.

So frankly, when you rolled around, Noa had thought Kaiser’s obsession with you would only last about the same as his previous flings. Noa quietly waited out a week. Then another. And another. Then a few more. And to his surprise, you stuck to Kaiser’s mind. Kaiser still pursued you as relentlessly as he did the first day he brought you up to Noa, and Noa realized how difficult it would be to actually wrangle in a full-blown delusional, lovestruck Kaiser.

“NOAAAAAAAAAA!”

Noa rubbed at his temples, closing his eyes and sucking in a deep breath through his nose. He held it for a few seconds, like how his therapist had recommended, before breathing out through his mouth for a few more seconds. Noa was fully aware that he threw a life of peace away the moment he chose to become a professional athlete, but asking for more than fifteen minutes of uninterrupted silence seemed less plausible than winning the World Cup fifteen times in a row.

The door to his office flew open with such force that the Frenchman was surprised it hadn’t flown clean off of its hinges. “Shitty master! There you are! I need your advice!”

“No need to be so violent or loud, Kaiser.” Noa turned on the swivel chair the Blue Lock facility had given him, tearing his eyes away from the statistics and team strategies he had been working on. “They’ll be able to hear even from across the compound.”

Kaiser stood in his doorway, looking disheveled and near tears. He had sprinted here, evident from the thin layer of sweat on the German boy’s forehead and how heavily he was breathing. Noa doubted that Kaiser was coming to him needing advice on training or improvising his skills. 

No, Noa knew what Kaiser was here for already.

“Alright, how did you mess up this time, Kaiser?” The Frenchman asked exhaustedly. He had gotten used to this song-and-dance with his pupil a long time ago, ever since you had wormed your way into Kaiser’s heart. “Did you call (Y/n) a rude name? Or say something mean?”

Kaiser scrunched his pretty face up, stomping closer to Noa and sticking his bottom lip out. “No! I didn’t do anything like that. Noa, it’s so much more severe! I’d rather that they hate me and wish me dead than this! You don’t understand—they don’t care about me at all!!”

Noa bit back a snort. “Oh. And I thought you had done so much worse.”

Kaiser began frantically pacing around Noa’s office, agitatedly wringing his hands. “I knew you wouldn’t understand, you shitty master! Ugh, this is what I get, going to someone as stoic as you for advice with my love life! I don’t get it. Why doesn’t (Y/n) want me? I’m the whole package! I have people crawling, and I mean, fucking crawling all over me. That super hot actress everyone’s been talking about? She was begging me for a date last week! I’m popular and handsome and rich, and (Y/n) acts like I’m just some guy from across the street! I’m not some guy from across the street!”

“No, you aren’t-”

Kaiser shook his hands in the air. “I’m the Michael Kaiser! 300 million yen annual salary, master of Kaiser Impact, golden ace of Bastard Munchen, and God’s chosen emperor! How dare they not want me as much as I want them? Can’t they see how madly in love I am? That I’ve practically made a fool of myself at this point? Trying this hard to make them fall for me?”

Kaiser breathed heavily after having dumped all of that onto Noa, and the older man stared at Kaiser with singlehandedly the most unimpressed look on his face. The German athlete let out a strangled groan, the reality of his dejection sinking in properly, and Noa watched as Kaiser buried his face into his hands.

“First and foremost, Kaiser, you have to understand that people have different tastes. What might be appealing to actresses and celebrities and whoever else you attract might not be (Y/n)’s type,” Noa sighed, leaning back in his chair and massaging his head. “Some people avoid famous and popular people on purpose, because it’s an awful lot of work to be with someone under that much public scrutiny. It’s a big thing to ask of someone, regardless of their interest in you.”

“But I have the money! The body! The looks! Anyone would be flattered to have my interest! C’mon, Noa- Fame aside, I’m sexy as fuck!” Kaiser motioned vaguely at his body. “I’m sexy, right? Tell me I’m sexy, Noa!”

“Kaiser, I am not doing that.”

“You get what I’m trying to say!”

“Secondly,” Noa continued sternly. He didn’t particularly have the energy to flatter Kaiser that much more. “Have you actually tried wooing them in a… more appropriate way?”

Kaiser frowned deeply, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you mean in a more appropriate way? Shouldn’t they fall to my feet in utter worship of how wonderful I am? Shouldn’t they be sobbing over how grateful they are to me that I would give them even a crumb of my attention?”

Oh god. Noa wondered where he had gone wrong with Kaiser. The headache that had been ebbing in and out ever since the youth had barged into his office was only amplifying. “No, Kaiser. I mean the kind of courtship that most other people would try. Like compliments, gifts, maybe grabbing a coffee together. You have to earn someone’s love. It isn’t something that’s guaranteed nor is it something that’s owed.”

The German boy’s frown faded slightly, morphing into a small look of confusion. He repeated, “Earn? You mean… I have to try to get (Y/n)’s favor? They aren’t smitten with me already?”

“Probably not. If they haven’t already started a relationship with you yet, that usually means you haven’t won their heart.” The older athlete explained calmly. “Try the things I told you. Tell them that you like seeing them around. Maybe get them a small thing of flowers. Being kind to someone never hurts. Especially if they aren’t exactly… used to dealing with your bold personality. You have to start with baby steps before you can get to all the big passionate things you’re thinking of.”

Noa wondered for a split second if Kaiser would fume and brush his advice off as he usually did, but for once, the boy nodded along and silently mulled over his mentor’s words. Noa continued to watch him quietly, hoping inwardly that he had gotten through to the boy and that maybe he’d quit harassing you with what he could only imagine to be the most audacious courtship in the universe. You were truly a trooper to somehow keep up with all of Kaiser’s ridiculous antics. 

“For once you’re of help, shitty master,” Kaiser hummed, and the German nodded to himself.. “I know a place I could order a few blue roses from… And there’s a really nice café not too far from the facility once we get down the mountain… Yeah, I can see it all coming together! Okay, I have a plan!”

“Ah, by the way,” Noa interrupted. Kaiser looked at the Frenchman, as if to silently ask him if there was anything else he needed to be lectured about. Noa cleared his throat, looking firmly at the young man. “Remember what I told you, no matter what (Y/n) does in response to your efforts. Love is earned, not owed. Even if you try to be kind to them and flirt with them differently, you aren’t entitled to their love. If they make it very clear that you aren’t interested, the right thing to do is back off and give them space. Do you understand?”

“Of course I do,” Kaiser scoffed. “If they decide that they don’t want me… Then that’s their loss! I’ll use my indescribable charm to find someone better… Even though I don’t really think there’s anyone better than them.”

“Well, no matter what you do, I’m sure I’ll hear of it.” Noa chuckled softly as the young blond’s cheeks turned red as he started thinking about you, and Kaiser hid his pink face behind his hands. Kaiser turned on his heel, straightening his back and puffing his chest out, clearly determined to enact Noa’s heartfelt advice and to undoubtedly unleash upon you another wave of unrestrained romance.

Noa knew that Kaiser’s wails and screeches in his desperate attempts for your favor would be far from over, but if he could bit-by-bit place the boy on the correct path at wooing you over, then maybe all of Kaiser’s temper tantrums and 3 AM rants about how he is 100% confident that he’s going marry you someday would be worth it. If there was one thing that Kaiser was, it was incredibly stubborn about not letting things that he deemed as “his” slip away.

“Ah, one more thing, Kaiser-”

Kaiser stopped dead in his tracks, already halfway out of the room. “Yeah? What is it, shitty master?”

“Don’t fantasize about marriage just yet. I think it’s still way too early for you to be planning out a wedding with (Y/n) already…”

x

[deathmetalunicorn1]

A quiet but smart child sequel where reader is now 11 y/o and still eerily smart, to the point in which sometimes it gets hard for the family members (except for tesla) to keep up with them

One day the school calls the family to pick the reader up because they are in trouble, but at home they find out that the reader simply corrected their teacher because he made a mistake about whatever complex subject you can think of and reader told them that it's wrong and then explained the right answer, but the teacher took it as an offense and started an argument with the reader who was still chilling because they were simply correcting a mistake 😭😭 to make it funnier, it's an odd situation because reader is usually quiet and collected at all times, not prone to arguing, and the subject they were discussing was something that a 11 year old shouldn’t even know about by any means yet the reader knows an awful lot about it

-When your family got the call at home that you had been sent to the principal’s office, they were quick to laugh, thinking it was a prank.

-When the receptionist was able to prove that this was legit and that you had gotten into trouble, your family was quickly rushing to your school.

-You had always been way… way more mature than other children your own age, preferring to sit back and learn new things rather than running around or roughhousing. And you were always so level-headed, nothing ever got you upset!

-When they walked in, Adam, Hades, Nikola, and Odin, your ‘selected guardians’ for things like this, you didn’t look bothered at all, while the principal looked exasperated, and your teacher looked furious.

-Your principal took charge, not letting your teacher get in a word in edgewise, as he had been yelling at you for the last fifteen minutes that you were disrespectful, “Y/N corrected Mr. Chungus here, multiple times in class. He believes that this is disrespectful and demanded a parent teacher conference immediately.”

-Odin glowered down at your teacher, who shrunk in his chair, intimidated before Hades spoke, “Y/N is this true?”

-You looked up and nodded, “I did- he was teaching us advanced calculus, to show us what we would have to do in a few years, claiming that if we didn’t learn what we were learning now we would never be able to learn it. He made a mistake in his calculations, and he got upset.”

-All eyes went to Mr. Chungus who was red faced, embarrassed, “Y/N didn’t have to be so rude about it- but after correcting me numerous times I had to take action.”

-Your eyes were unwavering and focused, “But sir, you were the one who claimed that none of us were able to do something so simple and kept talking down to us if we asked questions, as we wanted to learn. If it was so simple, why did you make multiple mistakes?”

-Nikola looked proud, ruffling your hair lightly as your principal turned to Mr. Chungus, a sharp look in his eye, “Is this true?”

-Mr. Chungus was quickly stammering, panicking as he had been caught, not expecting that you were going to call him out like this.

-Your principal turned to your guardians, “Y/N is free to go. I will be having a word with Mr. Chungus about his lesson plan. Y/N- is there anything you want to say to Mr. Chungus before you go?”

-They were expecting you to apologize as you stood up, “If you are going to try to demean us by showing us anything advanced, make sure nobody knows how to do it first, so nobody calls you out on it.”

-Hades quickly had to turn, hiding his laugh in a cough as the two other adults were wide eyed, but you weren’t reprimanded, as you were in the right.

-The others were quickly roaring with laughter in the ice cream parlor that Nikola insisted on taking you to, telling them all what happened.

-You didn’t think you didn’t anything worthy of celebrating; you just didn’t want anyone else to be taught wrong. You weren’t going to turn down ice cream though.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Which one? (Hannibal/Will)

Description: Both of them like Y/N and when she finds out she was to choose

Word Count: 714

Request:

Hi could you please write a fanfic, where both Hannibal and Will are -obsessively- interested in the reader, who is completely oblivious. After she finally realizes their interest, she needs to choose one of them (preferably Hannibal) and it ends in smut?

Author’s note: I completely forgot to add the smut I’m so sorry but I hope you like it! Also feel free to send in request. I’m currently on a Challengers kick but I’ll take anything!

Hannibal and Will have lots in common even if they don’t want to admit it. Hannibal though does but Will would rather die than admit to anyone that he is like the physiatrist. They share something that one could kill the other for: feelings for Y/N. They both knew it and hated the fact that they both liked her. She was oblivious to it which made it better for them but also annoying.

They both wondered if she had feelings for one of them. She never showed signs of it but that didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings for one of them. It was rather annoying to everyone around the three watching it all go down. Will would glare at Hannibal anytime he talked to Y/N and Hannibal planned to eat Will anytime he talked to Y/N. Y/N just thought the two guys were just being nice. “Will, Y/N probably wants an older man that can show her the best time.” Hannibal told him as they walked away from her. “I am an older man to her, Hannibal. You would be an elder to her.” Hannibal snorted at his comment.

Y/N was almost 30 so both men were older than her. Y/N wasn’t ever picky with the ages of her partners, as long as they were around her age or older. The day that Y/N realized that they both liked her was when she overheard their conversation. “Y/N would choose me. I’m smart, good looking and I have an accent.” Hannibal told Will. “She would choose me. We have more in common and I make her laugh harder.” Both had great points but Y/N was too shocked to even think about it. Both of them liked her? She had to get away before they saw her listening to them. 

The next day was like any other except that she was well aware of what they were doing. Fighting for her love, attention. They both were good looking men. How could she choose? “Guys we need to talk.” She tells them, her voice had a hint of sadness in it. They looked at her waiting for her to continue. “I know that you both like me.” She states at looks at the two of them. Hannibal hides his shock but Will’s eyes widened. “Oh my how did you know?” He asked. “I overheard you guys talking about it.” Hannibal looked down as did Will. She had to choose one of them. “Who are you choosing and why is it me?” Will gave Hannibal a weird look. “You don’t know that.” He said. Y/N looked between them….

Will’s Version 

“Hanni you’re very nice but I like Will.” She said to the older man. Will wanted to celebrate and laugh in Hannibal’s face but he was too mature for that. Hannibal nodded and gave her a small smile. He was embarrassed that Will was right and sad. “But we can still be friends.” She told him. “I’d like that.” He said and walked away. Will walked up to her and cupped her face, “Thank you.” He said before leaning in and kissing her. 

Hanni’s version 

“Well because I like you Hannibal.” She answered his egotistical question. Will looked shocked. Hannibal smiled and turned to Will. “And see I was right.” “Hanni, don’t be mean I can always change my mind.” She told him. He nodded and turned to her. She looked at Will, “You’re a nice guy Will you will meet someone.” He smiled at her words. “Thank you Y/N.” He said and walked away. Hannibal held out his hand for Y/N to take. She took it and they began walking. “Don’t be mean to him.” Y/N said. “I won’t.” He lied, knowing that he would. 

Both 

“No, I can't choose.” They looked at each other and then back at Y/N. “What do you mean?” “I like you both.” She said. Neither of them saw that coming which changed everything. “So you want us both?” Will asked. Y/N nodded, feeling ashamed. Hannibal noticed the guilty look she had. “Hey, don't be ashamed. I’m sure we can work something out.” He said and looked at Will. Will smiled and nodded. That something happened to be both guys kissing her neck on her bed as she sighed in pleasure.

[cockslutpadalecki]

The Unexpected Valentine

Summary: When you decide to spend your ruined Valentines getaway alone, you’re thankful for the peace and quiet but when a mysterious stranger catches your eye, your Valentines weekend turns out better than you ever imagined.

Characters: SilverFox!CEO!Steve Rogers x F!Reader.

Words: 2.2K.

Warnings: heavy flirting, sex in a hot tub, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), 18+. MINORS DNI.

A/N: Formerly a Patreon exclusive. Tried to post last night, but the post editor is being a douchebag. Not beta’ed so all errors, spelling mistakes and general bullshit are entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Please support our content creators by sharing our work.

Smoothing out your dress, you take in the image of yourself in the small mirror hanging in the corner of the room. Your hair and makeup are by no means flawless, and the outfit you’ve chosen to wear to dinner is smart, but comfortable. 

You don’t need to dress up to impress anyone, choosing to spend the short vacation by yourself, and personally you feel like it’s the best decision you’ve ever made. Initially Hoyt was going to join you at the five star ski resort to celebrate Valentines together, but after a particularly messy break up, you decide to still make the most of the trip. 

It worried you in the lead up that it would do more harm than good— reminding you of a better time spent with your slimy ex-boyfriend, but actually, the time away has so far been refreshing. Plus, being out on the slopes in the fresh Colorado air has really helped to clear your head. 

You didn’t even mind dining on your own. At first the stares and prying eyes were unnerving, but you soon forgot about them once you tucked into the decadent food and sipped on the exquisite wine. 

You give yourself one last look, a satisfied smile on your lips before leaving the room, stomach well and truly rumbling. 

-

The restaurant on the hotel’s premises is bustling. Every table is full, except for the one you reserved the day you arrived. You waltz between the fancy oak, a small murmur buzzing along behind you as diners whisper to themselves. Once at your own table, you slide smoothly into your chair, reaching for the water jug and pouring yourself a glass. Bringing it to your lips, you take a little glance around you, suddenly noticing a pair of bright cerulean eyes locked on you from across the room. 

The man accompanying the piercing stare flashes you a wide smile before glancing away, mindlessly forking some food around on his plate. A coy smirk still pulls at the corners of his lips which leaves you a little flustered. You haven’t seen him around the resort at all since you got here three days ago, and the sight of him makes your entire body tingle.

To try and take your mind off of Blue Eyes in the corner, you pick up a menu as the waiter approaches you. 

“Good evening Madam, would you like to hear tonight’s specials?” he asks politely.

“No, thank you. I’ll just have the soup to start,” you glance over the menu one last time, “and hm, lets try the lobster tonight please.” 

“Any sides for the table, ma’am?” 

“No, I think I’ll be fine, thank you,” you beam, passing him your now closed menu. 

He takes it from you whilst returning your gesture, smiling down at you. “And to drink?” 

“I’ve gotten quite fond of the house red.” 

“As you wish, I’ll be right back with your wine,” he smiles again before you catch the eye of Blue Eyes from the corner now standing in front of your table.

“I find it hard to believe you’re here alone,” he says softly. You can’t explain it, but there’s something about him that instantly makes every vein in your body sing.

You keep your reply clipped, “How so?” 

“A beautiful woman like yourself shouldn’t be wasted.”

Normally such a cliché line would’ve made you send him packing, but his charisma is infectious and you find yourself offering him the spare seat opposite.

“Thank you,” he says with gratitude as he sinks down into the chair, flashing you a perfectly white smile. 

“No need. Figured you’d need some company if you’re having to resort to cheesy pick up lines like that,” you sass. 

The man laughs, holding his hand out across the table for you to take, introducing himself. “I’m Steve.” 

You tell him your name, instantly mesmerised by just how blue his eyes are up close. It’s only now you notice the small flecks of silver peppering his beard and stray strands around his hairline.

You exchange pleasantries for a while, nothing too deep for a first encounter, but you enjoy talking to him nonetheless. Steve’s incredibly laid-back, and there’s an air of cockiness to him but it somehow doesn’t come across as arrogance. He’s enticing and debonair, a true gentleman and when he insists on walking you to your room, he seeks your permission to give you a kiss goodnight— on the cheek no less. 

As he pulls away, Steve asks if he can take you to dinner tomorrow night. 

“Not downstairs”, he clarifies quickly when he notices you’re about to counter his offer. “A proper one in town.”

You’re hesitant, but when Steve places a gentle kiss on the back of your hand, the word, “yes,” is out of your mouth before you can stop it.

-

The restaurant Steve picks is, in a word, expensive. Even a bottle of wine costs more than what you earn in a week, and when it was time to pick something to drink, you hurriedly chose the cheapest item on the vast wine list.

You feel guilty just glancing at the menu, indecisive about whether to pick the cheapest dish— no doubt making him think you’re poor, or choose the most extravagant, and worry that he’ll believe you’re too high maintenance. 

Ugh, you shake your head, scolding yourself for thinking too much into the situation, reminding yourself this is just a casual dinner. No expectations or provisos. Stop panicking.

As the waiter heads over, you settle on a starter and main, and order both quickly, almost fearful of Steve’s judgment on what you’ve picked. You brave a glance at the man across the table, but he’s simply smiling, those steely blue eyes focused on you like you’re the only other person in the room. 

“And for you, Sir?” The waiter next to Steve asks, ready and poised to take his order on the small PDA in his hand. 

“I’ll just have the same,” Steve replies, breaking eye contact with you for a split second to smile up at him.

“Right you are, Sir.” He inputs the selections quickly, grabbing up the menus Steve holds up for him before leaving you both alone.

“So, if it’s not too forward of me, can I ask you a question?” Steve asks once the waiter is out of earshot, his eyes cast down at the table. 

“Depends.” 

He finally looks up at you through heavy eyelashes. “On what?”

“How personal a question it is.”

Steve grins wide, reaching for his whiskey tumbler as he cocks his head, teeth tugging at his bottom lip. You can tell he’s amused by you, and that gives you an instant confidence boost. 

“Shoot,” you invite sweetly.

“How come you were dining alone last night?” 

You shrug. “Was supposed to be here with my boyfriend,” you start, and the dejected look in Steve’s eye is not lost on you, “but he decided he’d rather spend Valentine's balls deep in someone else.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he offers, “but I can’t help being a little thankful.”

“For what?” 

“Well if you were here with him, I would never have had the pleasure of your company.”

You nod, a small smirk tugging at your lips as you raise your glass and toast the room. “Touché.” You take a large gulp of the claret liquid swirling around in your glass before asking Steve, “So, what about you? Ex-girlfriend mess you around too?”

But before he has a chance to answer, the maitre d who seated you at the beginning of the evening swans up to the table, wearing his widest smile. 

“Good evening Mr. Rogers, I trust everything is to your satisfaction,” he presumes with hope. 

“Always is, Frank,” Steve returns kindly, moving his hand out in front of him for the other man to take. You notice the discreet but crumpled fifty within Steve’s palm, but don’t think to question it.

They converse back and forth for a short while, and you can tell Steve is trying to keep his answers brief so Frank will soon leave you  in peace. Finally, Frank bids you both a good night and strides off, eventually dropping out of sight.

“Mr. Rogers? What do you like, own the place or something?” you throw out casually before taking another sip of wine.

“Most of the buildings in town actually.”

You almost choke on the liquid you’re swallowing, not expecting the answer you get. “Sorry, I-I had no idea.” 

“I don’t really tend to brag about my acquisitions,” Steve flashes you a coquettish smile, “unless it works in my favour, of course.” 

“And what favours might those be?” you flirt back.

“Hm,” he ponders, “sexual ones.” 

“I see.” 

There’s an almost uncomfortable silence. You appreciate that Steve doesn’t outright assume you’d be that easy, but at the same time you’re conflicted, feeling a little put out. Pushing through it, you steer the conversation back to Steve’s empire.

“So,” you point towards the window, indicating the row of buildings across the street, “which exactly are yours then?” 

“Well, there’s this place, the restaurant down the street, the ski lodge—”

“What happened to not bragging?” you chuckle dryly.

Steve shrugs, a light smirk on his lips. “Is it working in my favour yet?” 

-

The ride back to Steve’s lodge overlooking the small, quaint town is messy and frantic. His lips are on yours the moment you slide into the backseat, and for a second you fear what the driver might say, but Steve, sensing your apprehension, assures you into the column of your neck that there’s nothing to worry about.

You pay little attention to the stunning views as you travel further up the mountain, too absorbed by Steve’s hands roaming your body. He doesn’t undress you, but his fingers tease as so, tips gently brushing over the zip of your dress more than once. 

Your arousal is thick between your thighs, hot and aching as he slips his hand under the skirt to test you. You allow Steve access, opening your legs a little wider as he cups you fully. 

The vehicle slows to a stop, and it’s not until the door beside Steve opens that he finally pulls his hand away, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before almost dragging you from the car. 

-

The cold and brisk February air whirls around you in a white flurry of a few stray snowflakes, blown from a nearby cluster of conifers. Usually you’d be quick to grab a coat or head back inside the warmth of Steve’s lodge, but the heat of the steam from the hot tub does plenty to neutralize the chill coming off of the mountain. 

Steve’s behind you, leaving a trail of light kisses over your shoulder blade as his hands tug at your hips, pulling you into his lap. 

“It’s quite a view from up here,” you observe, marvelling at the glow from the street lamps all the way from up here. They look like tiny fireflies buzzing around in search of the nearest source of light.

“It’s nothing compared to the view I have right now,” Steve whispers against your skin. He brings a hand up to your jaw, turning your head to the side. You giggle as he stares at you in awe before capturing your lips hungrily once more.

He rolls his hips, his cock pressing firm against your bare ass before pushing you off his lap, turning you to press you up against the side of the hot tub. You whimper into the crook of your elbow as Steve enters you quickly from behind. Your pussy is still sensitive from the last two rounds where he had fucked you over the kitchen counter, and then again on the bathroom floor as you had cleaned up. 

Almost as soon as he bottoms out, he’s moving inside you, having already memorised the perfect rhythm that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. Water begins to splash over the side as Steve’s thrusts quicken, his breath hot against your damp skin. You clutch desperately at the edge of the hot tub as he fucks into you with reckless abandon before sliding a hand down between the valley of your thighs, fingers grazing over your clit.

“Fuck, Steve!” you yell, voice echoing as it travels down the valley, the deep snow eventually absorbing the sound. 

It’s only a matter of time before you come again, body trembling against Steve’s as the coil inside you snaps, flooding your veins with rapturous electricity. 

Steve soon follows with a grunt, his grip tightening harder around your hips when he lets go, coming deep and hot inside you.

He pulls away, placing a trail of wet sloppy kisses against your neck before slumping back against the side of the hot tub next to you, chest heaving deeply with raspy breaths. 

“Fuck, I think I’m gonna need to sleep for a week after that,” you giggle, laying your head sleepily on your arms crossed out in front of you. 

“Told you, you shouldn’t be wasted,” Steve affirms, sweeping his tongue across his bottom lip. “And I certainly didn’t wanna waste a single part of you.” 

“No, you did not.” 

You share a knowing smile, both well aware that the night is far from finished.

When you arrived here, you hated everything to do with St. Valentine and the overrated holiday— knowing it would forever remind you of your failed relationship. Yet as you cuddle up to Steve, your body still tingling, you decide that perhaps it’s not so bad after all.

***

ALL CE: @buckymydarlingangel @broadwaybabe18 @captain-asguard @chamberofsloths @cevansgurl @dreamlessinparis @deanwinchesterswitch @fandom-princess-forevermore @hurricanerin @kellhems @ladybug05 @mugi-chwan95 @navybrat817 @otomefromtheheart @oneoftheprettynerds @patzammit @rebel-stardust @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @sammykb1994 @syrenavenger @saiyanprincessswanie @sunwardsss @selfsun @threeminutesoflife @vicmc624 @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wintasssoldier @xoxonotme

4EVS: @amirra88 @andreasworlsboring101 @b3autyfuldisast3r @cheesyclaire @chibijusstuff @callsignrambam @dangertoozmanykids101 @daughterofthenight117 @doozywoozy @foxyjwls007 @geekofmanyforms @heyyouwiththeassbutt @i-opened-the-chamber-of-secrets @ilovefanfic86 @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @letsby @letsdisneythings @labella420 @mogaruke @maliburenee @notyourtypicalrose @nik2write @obsessivelycapricious @patrick-hockslutter @princessmisery666 @phildunphyisadilf @sage-writing @sea040561 @sweeterthanthis @slutformarvelmen @smokeandnailz @stoneyggirl @stoneyggirl2 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @thegirlnextdoorssister @unfortunate-brat @wayward-dreamer @warriorqueen1991 @xoxabs88xox

[faeriekit]

PRIDE stuff I recommend incorporating into a library/school storytime if your community is mildly uncomfy confronting that sometimes two men kiss, go!

Find a book that has a tangible story to it! For this storytime, I used Subway Baby, which is explicitly about two men who have a child together, but is more about the discovery of the child at a subway station in NYC and the process it takes to becomes a family. Heartwarming, a real story that happened to real people, and takes place in a familiar setting (for a bunch of NJ kids.) Another book I might use in place of this would be a book like Julián and the Wedding, which is about attending a wedding with two brides, but is centered instead in a story about what to wear to a wedding (and all the silliness fancy clothes cause.)

You can also pick books that aren't explicitly queer, even when the topics are: Except When They Don't, Fred Gets Dressed, and Princess Kevin are all titles that toy around with gender presentation and clothing without explicitly making the story about gender, making it obvious that 1) clothing is silly and 2) you should do what makes you happy. A boy is a princess. A girl is a football star. Your friends are astronauts dinosaur cowboys who live on Mars! All is well, be happy being you.

USE THE FLAGS! Every stripe has a meaning! Teaching the kids what every stripe in a flag stands for, and how to relate it to their own life makes the sight less intimidating and something more familiar. Since I read for real real real little ones, it's also a great chance to practice color recognition with them lol. "What color is this? Wow, you're so smart! This color stands for THIS big word, which means (longer explanation.)" I use this in Pride-Specific storytimes so there's a break between books.

Make the storytime about pride! ...No, like the emotion. Unless the kids have out people active in their life from a young age, they're probably not going to immediately understand what Queer and Pride and Gay and Trans and LGBT+ are or how they relate to them or each other or the fact that they could discover stuff about themselves later on in life...dumb it down. At most storytime ages, they're still in the process of building their self image and sense of well-being. Being proud is about being happy with yourself and what you do. You're a cool kid, and you should get to celebrate all the things about your life that you love! I ended my Pride storytime with teaching kids a new big word: ✨affirmations✨. Say one nice thing about yourself! This is something nice I say about you! Parents, affirmations are a great way to build self confidence and practice big vocab words. Try them out at home, reciting them in the mirror or putting them on stickey notes around the house.

Decorate your reading space. Hehehehehe rainbows 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 No, seriously. The more fun the room is, the friendlier the topic feels.

And, of course, I end all storytimes with a hi five and good word to the kids' adults. Kid was energetic? They were so fun and excited today! Kid was zoned out? They were so well behaved! Two things can simultaneously be true.

Tips for non-librarians: for the coolest lgbt kids books, they're hiding in the nonfiction section. Seriously. Books about Gilbert Baker sewing the first flag and Marsha P Johnson and Stonewall and lgbt history around the world... In Nonfic. LAME. BOO. MOVE THEM TO MY COLLECTION INSTEAD HELLO. I WANT THEM. *grabby hands*

[blerb-f1]

Junge - Sebastian Vettel x reader

Sebastians Parents hate his career choice but at least you're here.

This is like a prequel to THIS fanfic - please beware that Sebs actual parents are incredibly cute and supportive and also i didn't mean to make like consistent songfics yet here we are. Its about "Junge" by "Die Ärtze"

hahahahaha

America's West, the vast prairie

And right in the middle of it: A small house

And in it: A concerned mother

2023 - Sebastian has just announced his retirement. You, his trusty Engineer since the Toro Rosso Days have spent the day looking back and reminiscing. Throughout the years you’ve had people come and go in your lives, but only you two and Britta, his manager, were truly consistent. One Group of People you absolutely couldn't count on were his parents.

They happily supported his Kart Career but going into F1? Never, F1 was for nobodies and troublemakers. If asked in which Michael would fall, they’d just say “Schumi is an exception”

Throughout the BMW Sauber Testing Years Seb would exist in the car given to him by BMW, friends apartments or hotels rented by Sauber themselves but never anything consistent. Once the move to Torro Rosso happened, with you becoming his equally young engineer, Red Bull made the decision to rent an apartment for you to share. Although you weren't a Red Bull Junior, Fate brought it this way. 

You’d taken way too many angry calls of Sebs Parents, causing you to one day chuck his mobile phone down the toilet- He was enraged but life soon improved until the worst day  happened. Your apartment was small yet cozy with each of you decorating their room lively. His covered in trophies and race suits, yours with study notes and smart looking graphs. Both however representative of your interests, with your shared common space housing your gaming consoles, a popcorn maker you bought thinking you’d use it a lot and a massive pullout couch someone put out for free which you transported home hanging off Sebs BMW X3 

Boy (Boy), why haven't you learned anything?

Look at Dieter, he even has a car!

Why don't you go to Uncle Werner's workshop?

He'll give you a permanent employment, if you ask him about it

Boy (Boy, Boy)

That was the first thing barreling out of a phone held to your ears. 

Sebastian and You had just entered the Red Bull Factory during off week to test new parts on the car. You, additionally, had more classes on being a Race Engineer. While you already were supporting him during races, you still had to study more to become better.

Just as you were about to enter the elevator, Helmut Marko came angrily flying towards you. 

“SEBASTIAN VETTEL! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M TAKING CALLS FOR YOU!” he shouted, throwing his Motorola towards you both. His moms shriekky noisy voice echoed through the speaker. 

His Cousin Dieter was a useless POS, whom his Uncle Werner, the workshop owner, coddled until there was no tomorrow. You had the displeasure of meeting them both when his parents sent them to your shared apartment, in hopes of building bridges. You both however preferred the Fernando Alonso Bridge and set this bridge on fire with a can of gasoline.

They were horrible rude upon intruding on your shared space. Dieter insulting your gaming setup, Werner complaining about your general decor and moving in. You’d gotten very fed up with them, opening the door and telling them to Leave that exact second.

Afterwards you and Seb had celebrated by ordering expensive Delivery Pizza while watching 100% Pirated movies. Most likely an Austin Powers Movie.

And the way you always look, holes in your pants, and always this racket

(What will the neighbors say?)

And your hair too, words fail me - do you have to dye it?

(What will the neighbors say?)

You never come home, we don't know what to do anymore

"DON'T GET THE TUB DIRTY!" you shrieked as Seb was trying to wash the dye out of your hair. You'd attempted to dye your hair purple and black with Seb being the one doing the work. He was, however, not good at being cleanly. He'd gotten dye inside of his gloves, on his pants and covered half of the apartment in the process. The washing out process was equally catastrophic with him getting your old bathroom tiles covered as well. 

As some dye was left over, you decided to apply it to his beautiful locks. You both came out very matchy. His hair had him look like a black-purple Raccoon and as he was a skinny boy, he looked more like a hungry raccoon than the fat ones you’d usually see rummaging on TV.

The day after you had an appointment with a piercer to get further piercings, the guy immediately thought you were a couple because of the matching hair.  You got multiple Piercings, each of them becoming their own memory for the future. You still remembered Brittas Expression as you turned up on Monday with all the metal jingling of your ears and in your face.

What you hadn't however expected, was receiving an invite to Sebastian's Aunts Birthday Party.  The Raccoon dye in his hair greatly contrasted the grown up BMW you found yourself in as you two were approaching Heppenheim. Seb took you along as an emotional support animal to better endure the party. You had met his parents before, the day they turned up at your house and another when they turned up at the factory. The day they had turned up at your house, you had your lovely neighbor open the building's front door. She was a lovely lady with hearing issues so you could be as loud as you wanted without bothering her. She often would cook for you in turn helping her with heavy tasks. She shushed them away and made you a hearty meal.

As the car pulled into his old home's driveway, you clearly saw people rushing towards the front door and stumbling out. Seb was clutching the wheel tightly, you both had been driving all the way from Austria so you were already pretty tired.

As you stepped outside you could hear his mom let out a surprised scream, it getting louder as Sebastian stepped out. Your favorite Piercing (a chain connecting from your lips to the ear) was glittering under the porchlight as his little brother rushed out, pushing his mom aside. He jumped upwards into Sebs Arms, possibly being the one most excited for his return.

“Who is this…Woman?” his mom asked, almost snakelike. 

“My Race Engineer and Roommate, Y/N”, Seb stated while brushing through his brother's hair.

Boy (Boy) don't break your mother's heart

It's not too late to enroll at university

You used to be interested in animals, wouldn't that be worth pursuing?

Your own vet practice, Boy

The dinner was uncomfortable to say the least. His aunt was to your surprise the one married to Werner, so he, the aunt and Dieter kept giving you dirty looks. His grandparents were equally unhappy with your both looks. Meanwhile his little brother was trying to show him pictures and awards. His Mom didn’t miss a single Chance to insult his driving career, only his dad stayed quiet. Then she started, talking about his love for animals and proposing he should become a vet again. A proposal, she kept repeating uselessly. 

Finally she dragged him away and his little brother approached you with shimmering eyes, inviting you to his room to show you his collection of things. 

You happily took the chance to flee from annoying relatives as you settled onto Fabians Bed, the sheets with car print giving way under your bum. The quiet mumbling from downstairs being way more endurable than the massively loud chatter. You would always pick the sound of a screaming V10, even if it would blast your hearring away. It would at least protect you from the pain of being repeatedly and hiddenly insulted.

knock knock

His father came in, face pulled into a mildly sad expression as he sheepishly stood in front of the room's door. you eyed him, waiting for more insults of your person to be hurled at you.

Instead however, he gave you a bag.

“Y/N, right?”

“Yeah”

“Please” he was a quiet man, his age clearly visible on his face. “Please give this to Sebastian. Heike, she… She isn’t herself . This isn’t like her. But Seb, he should have this back.”

You take the bag and gingerly lay it on the mattress next to you.

“If she’s gotten so bad, why don’t you leave her?”

“I promised to stick to her, in good and bad times.”

And the way you always look, piercings in your nose, and always this racket

(What will the neighbors say?)

Electric guitars and always these lyrics

Nobody wants to listen to that

(What will the neighbors say?)

You never come home, so much bad company

We will disinherit you

(What will the tax office say?)

How is it all going to end, we are worried

Seb and You were finally back home. Home, yes that’s what Austria had become for you both.  

The apartment was quiet until you rummaged through the cupboard, pulling out an  Electric Guitar and its required equipment. You gave Seb a cheeky grin before proceeding to play Wonderwall by Oasis. “Not Wonderwall…” Sebastian moaned.

You handed him the Guitar. “Then play something Better, Starboy!”

“But I don't know how to?”

“Just let it out!” you screamed before stomping around the living room, tumbling over collections of varying junk and memorabilia. 

clinggggg

You’d stumbled over the long forgotten bag his father had handed you. The Guitar abruptly stopped as Seb dropped it onto the Sofa while staring the bags contents

His first trophy, his favorite stuffed animal and his laminated photos of meeting Michael for the first time.

“Where did you get those from?” Seb asked with anger lacing his voice.

“Your father gave them to me.”

He looked between you and the bag's contents, difficulty enshrining his expression as you bent down, picking up the trophy. You lifted it, brushing your shirt over it. After a serious glance you shoved his newest trophies to the side and placed it smack dab in the middle. You could clearly imagine the little, then blonde boy, bursting with pride upon being handed it by his childhood Idol Michael Schumacher.

And you were such a sweet child

And you were such a sweet child

And you were such a sweet child

You were so sweet

And always your friends, I bet you all take drugs

And always this racket

(What will the neighbors say?)

Think of your future, think of your parents

Do you want us to die?

[austinslounge]

The PR anon is back(I’m just going to call myself that from now on). I wanted to clarify some things.

First, Zoë/Channing breakup. We all know who the real cheater in this relationship is. Ironically, Kaia claims that she’s queer and doesn’t miss an opportunity to make out or get too handsy with other women. Btw, when she was dating Elordi, she was behaving the same way. There are pics of her that look like she’s kissing Cara’s neck while still dating Jacob. Anyway, back to Zoë. General public is not that invested in Austin as we are. For them, if the breakup article comes out this month, it will look like two people starring in Caught Stealing suddenly end their relationships one after another. I’ve seen people talk about Austin/Zoë kiss on set without realizing that it’s acting. It also doesn’t help that some people project traits of the characters onto the actors(sometimes even subconsciously). So, if both Austin and Zoë end their relationships in a short period of time, while playing lovers on screen, it won’t look good. People who are speculating right now are the minority, but still, I understand that if a breakup has already happened it’s safer to delay it a bit.

There is also a blind item, which cannot be trusted, but I want to mention it because I haven’t seen anyone talk about it even in this fandom. It is from the YouTube podcast “Blinded by the item” Zoë/Channing episode from October 30th. ”Yesterday’s announcement was just first shoot to drop. The A- list offspring actress has gone a little too method with her current role and that is going to break up another relationship, this time with an A- list model/actress and an A list actor”. I don’t know where they take these blind items, probably from Crazy Days and Nights, which is not credible at all. It’s like flipping a coin, sometimes they get it sometimes they don’t. But yeah, this is total bullshit, there is no way in hell Kaia is an A-lister🤣. This blind item doesn’t mean anything, just laugh at it and forget. But anyway, not letting two couples from Caught Stealing break up while shooting is a smart strategy.

Next, the instagram story of Austin drinking beer(He was drinking Corona, it is beer, I assume?). After the GA concert, a lot of people were talking about it, but no one has the clip itself, because apparently Kaia deleted it very quickly. I assume either this is true, because a lot of people were talking about it, and the detail that Austin was drinking Corona specifically, so someone must have recognized the brand, or someone made this whole thing up and other picked up on it. Either way, it’s not that important, because Kaia never posted anything with Austin for whatever reasons. I was always wondering, why Kaia can’t just post an instagram story with Austin in the background or something? This would be a better damage control than any forced pap walk. I mean, you two “live together” and “spend your free time in private” blah, blah, blah. Will one story or pic be such a violation of privacy? This is not giving “private relationship”, it’s bordering on paranoia at this point. There are plenty of celebrity couples that are private, but don’t avoid each other at all costs like these two. Austin obviously, doesn’t post anything at all, but Kaia on the other hand is very active, she posts everyone(except Austin).

It’s interesting that their teams used Page Six for damage control, when they had to shout down engagement rumors they used TMZ. TMZ and People are used for the most important statements, they are usually the ones celebrities use to announce breakups, pregnancies, engagement etc. Tabloids like L&S, Daily Mail are good for spreading rumors, making questionable statements or writing 10 articles a day about meaningless pap walks. Page Six seems to stand somewhere in between. Celebs use it to buy some time and do damage control, as it’s not complete garbage, but not a totally reputable source either. I genuinely can’t understand why couldn’t their teams send an article to TMZ again? Breakup rumors are more serious than engagement rumors(Both started by Deux Moi by the way). Why can’t they send another “going strong” article to People like they did in May? Maybe because TMZ or People would shut down break up rumors once and for all, unlike Page Six.

If they have already broken up, there could be several reasons why they are delaying an official statement. Zoë/Channing break up is just my assumption, it can be the main reason, one of the reasons, or not the reason at all. We don’t know what their teams are planning behind closed doors. Everything is too strange, I just want Kaia Gerber to go away, but overall I’m completely calm, if they aren’t broken up now, they 100% will eventually. Of course, I want it to happen sooner rather than later, because I’m so tired of the shippers and Gerber baby nonsense.

Like I said previously, doing pap walks after DM article is just complete madness. Even though, subconsciously I’m ready for forced pap funeral walks. Just please, spear us the Cabo photos, they are too awful.

Hey PR Anon! 😁

In answer to your comments:

Yea, Kaia's behavior has just been really strange ever since this whole Kaustin relationship in general, but certainly even more so this year. I mean, is kissing someone else in the lips considered cheating? 👀 Because if so, then she's "cheated" multiple times. She's queer, soooo.... Imo that's like Austin kissing another girl (even one who's just a "friend") on the lips. Most would consider that cheating on Kaia.

But when Kaia does it -- 🤔

Btw, when she was dating Elordi, she was behaving the same way. There are pics of her that look like she’s kissing Cara’s neck while still dating Jacob.

Did she? 🤔 Because I was following the Jakaia relationship pretty closely back then, and I actually never saw Kaia behaving like that with other women when she was with Jacob. Keep in mind too that it was during covid, so there probably just weren't that many events and parties being held and photographed during that time. She and Jacob seemed pretty joined at the hip.

I know that prior to dating Jacob however, Kaia was getting pretty close to Cara 👀, but that was all before she and Jacob officially got together around August/September 2020.

You may have to share some receipts with me Anon, because I don't recall Kaia behaving like that with Cara while she was dating Jacob.

Anyway, back to Zoë. General public is not that invested in Austin as we are. For them, if the breakup article comes out this month, it will look like two people starring in Caught Stealing suddenly end their relationships one after another. I’ve seen people talk about Austin/Zoë kiss on set without realizing that it’s acting. It also doesn’t help that some people project traits of the characters onto the actors(sometimes even subconsciously). So, if both Austin and Zoë end their relationships in a short period of time, while playing lovers on screen, it won’t look good. People who are speculating right now are the minority, but still, I understand that if a breakup has already happened it’s safer to delay it a bit.

I definitely agree with you here. Even if everything is totally innocent, you're right, the optics wouldn't look good atm.

If Austin and Kaia broke up already, it has not been a good time to announce a breakup. She's been busy promoting LS, SNL, and some other film of hers, he's been busy filming Caught Stealing, then there was the whole Marcello thing, so any announcement around that time would have made her look like a cheater, then, Austin's costar Zoe broke up with her fiancé Channing, etc. It's just been a crazy mess lol 😆

If they have already broken up, there could be several reasons why they are delaying an official statement. Zoë/Channing break up is just my assumption, it can be the main reason, one of the reasons, or not the reason at all. We don’t know what their teams are planning behind closed doors.

I totally agree. 💯

Everything is too strange, I just want Kaia Gerber to go away, but overall I’m completely calm, if they aren’t broken up now, they 100% will eventually. Of course, I want it to happen sooner rather than later, because I’m so tired of the shippers and Gerber baby nonsense.

Girl, same!

Like I said previously, doing pap walks after DM article is just complete madness. Even though, subconsciously I’m ready for forced pap funeral walks. Just please, spear us the Cabo photos, they are too awful.

Oh gosh, PLEASE not another Gerber Family Christmas vacation in Cabo! 😭😭🤣

[rynekins]

Once again my mind is plagued with Sideshow Bob brainrot and I must infodump about him for a bit to clear it. This is a sorta continuation of this post where I ramble about how prison warped Bob’s personality. While I often consider doing a more structured series of Sideshow Bob reviews, I have nothing concrete planned at the moment, so posts like these will remain sporadic. However, I am rather open for more discussion with those who dare ask.

The focus today is on Sideshow Bob’s defining character trait.

There are many popular labels used for Sideshow Bob that fail to paint a full picture because the very opposites of those aspects are also true to his character. Highly educated with a great capacity for idiocy. Sophisticated with bouts of unhinged rage. A mastermind whose plans never work. A murderous psychopath who’s never actually murdered anyone and has attempted to reform. A villain who has saved the day, more than once. A failure that never gives up. All of these apply but I feel he has a more comprehensive character trait. One that remains true in every appearance, exemplified in all of his actions and downfalls. Above everything else, and I say this with the utmost affection, Bob is an attention whore.

Bob needs an audience like he needs air to breathe. All the world’s a stage and he lives to perform. He's pathetically desperate for your reaction, whether it’s praise, scorn, fear, or a laugh. He’ll sing, act, tell jokes, contort his body, or share the details of his cunning scheme with you, even if it jeopardizes everything he’s worked for, in exchange for a fleeting moment of recognition.

He wants to be seen, heard, known, understood, celebrated. Don’t we all. But his craving for validation can never be satisfied, which led him down this road of suffering. In the flashback in “Brother from Another Series”, during the sidekick audition, Bob looks a bit more composed than usual.

This is the earliest moment in his life that we witness. He’s hiding all his iconic hair in a hat and presents himself with dignity and poise; is this where he gets bit by the acting bug and everything changes for him? Doubtful, since his mother is a famous actress and he probably grew up in a home that valued the arts. I think he might have been repressing a lot of his more comical tendencies at this point, then unleashed them due to an unexpected pie to the face. Bob is angry at first, but within seconds relishes having an audience’s approval. All it took was Krusty calling him a “genius” and Bob’s fate was sealed. In “Krusty Gets Busted,” it’s up to interpretation if Bob genuinely wanted to solve Bart’s problem out of the goodness in his heart, or if his ego demanded that he prove to his audience what a good role model and host he can be. In” Sideshow Bob Roberts,” he charms everyone in town with his silver tongue, but is still so insecure about how he’s perceived that he feels he has to cheat to win the election. In “Cape Feare,” Bart compliments his voice and he’s all too eager to boast his musical talent. In “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming,” being called “smart” is enough to let his guard down.

He needs constant reassurance that he’s smart, talented, and loved. I believe that in “Black Widower”, Bob’s courting of Selma wasn’t a ruse, at least not at first. They probably had nothing in common (certainly wouldn’t bond over media taste) except that both were painfully lonely. They fell fast in what they thought was love because they showed each other the slightest bit of affection, then opened the floodgates of built up feelings that had nowhere else to go. But realizing there would always be another man in her life more important than him, MacGyver, any love Bob felt towards Selma evaporated.

Combine this pettiness with his freshly warped sense of morality courtesy of Springfield Penitentiary, and he would find this sudden violent hatred justifiable. But everything has to be a spectacle with Bob, so of course he would end things with a heckin’ fiery explosion. As we have established, Bob is prone to self-sabotage. He can be unbearably pretentious, so he struggles finding others that share his passions. But Bob isn’t a gatekeeper for these interests. He would love nothing more than to discuss art, music, literature and theater and convince others to appreciate them as well. He has a desire to teach, and finds fulfillment when he helms his own educational program with an audience willing to listen and cheer him on. He doesn’t have such luck with his peers, who tend to throw his books back at him. In the episode “The Man Who Grew Too Much”, Homer mentions Mozart’s name and you can tell Bob is ready to drop everything and gush about a special interest, but Homer then reveals that he doesn’t really care. So imagine being in an incredibly niche fandom with no one but the void to hear your headcanons or fan favorites. That’s Bob's predicament, but he’s persistent (and maniacal).

Little brother Cecil is similar, but he’s more likely to back down when the audience doesn’t indulge him.

It is left to our imagination what their childhood was like. Their mother might have encouraged them both to pursue theater, but did either of them ever feel pride in their accomplishments? Is there a reason Cecil gives up and Bob can’t be stopped? Perhaps Bob leans into the villain role because he’s convinced himself he was born for it (give him credit, he does play it cartoonishly well), but when the tables turn he’s equally as enthusiastic playing the part of a noble hero. He seems unable to turn off the dramatics either way. There have been a few moments when he admits he does not want to commit to a violent act, and you could argue it’s because deep down he knows he’s playing a character that he's taken too far and that it isn’t his true self, or maybe he's horrified his true self is a monster and he’d rather play a different character as a means to contain it (I am not referring to moments from “Day of the Jackanapes” or “The Great Louse Detective”, moreso “The Man Who Grew Too Much”, “Gone Boy”, and “Bobby It’s Cold Outside”). His instincts during these moments seem to be to run away.

But Bob can’t live secluded in his lil lighthouse forever, even if it means no one gets hurt and he would be free. Prison made him crazy. Isolation would destroy him.

[captmickey]

Alleyway Confessionals, a Three Adventurers fanfic

Because sometimes you need to vent in the form of using characters to do as such. Which I did.

Tada.

---

Link walked past the endless crowd until he found himself in a quiet alleyway. With all the festivities that were happening in the town center, he would have been more surprised to find anyone here continuing the celebration, to continue the rowdy cheers and chatter.

Instead, he found no one except one person.

The one person he was looking high and low for.

Sitting on a crate that was up against the wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed was Guybrush, the subject of his search, appearing to look like he was taking a casual nap to the unfamiliar. But Link knew better. Having travelled for so long with the pirate, he knew entirely well that Guybrush right now was anything but napping.

Link knew that right now, in this instance, Guybrush was trying to keep whatever intense emotion in-check.

His own brows furrowed at the sight of the pirate and he balled his hands to a fist as he took a few quick steps closer. He knew Guybrush was awake, knew Link was here, but he was opting to keep his eyes shut. And Link simply wasn’t going to have that.

Not after what just happened.

“Guybrush.” He said.

“What now?” Guybrush muttered, eyes still shut.

“For starters, you could give me the simplest courtesy of looking at me.” Link crossed his arms.

Guybrush contemplated, exhaled and opened his eyes mid-roll, and stared back at the Hylian. That normally warm, if not mischievous, look of his was replaced entirely with something cold. Something akin to annoyance and another thing that Link, at the moment, could not simply say with absolute certainty.

What he could say, with absolute certainty, was Guybrush was trying his patience with all of this.

“The hell was that?” Link asked.

“I’m loo–”

“Don’t.” He stopped him. “Don’t be smart with me, Guybrush. You know entirely well what I’m referring to.”

Guybrush stared at him and momentarily looked away, his brows furrowing with clear annoyance. 

“What’s there to say?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out after Graham received the wrong end of the sword from you.” Link said. 

“It’s a foam bat–”

“That doesn’t change how you absolutely thrashed him the first two rounds and then, randomly, threw it in the last where suddenly you didn’t have either of your hands before storming off.”

“Excellent recap, still missing that something in your story telling but hey, what do I know, right? You said it yourself to stop being smart and considering I’m just the bumbling idiot of the group I’m lucky to say even one coherent sentence.” Guybrush snarked before hopping off the crate. 

“Hey, where are you going? We’re not done here!” Link called out.

“Hiding myself so I don’t make either of you look stupid.” Guybrush waved. “Or maybe off to destroy something because I’m super clumsy, who knows.”

It was Link’s turn to stare in annoyance. He could feel his eye just barely twitching but his anger outweighed his irritation as he sprinted and blocked Guybrush from walking away, shoving the pirate with all his might and forcing Guybrush to stumble back in confusion.

“What the–”

“No!” Link shouted. “I don’t know what has gotten into you, but you are not normally such a bitter cynical jerk!”

“On a good day.”

“Guybrush, for fu–” Link snapped but he stopped himself, taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He was angry. Infuriated, even. But he was equally stubborn and determined. Opening his eyes again, he glared at Guybrush. “I’m gonna ask you something, and I am begging you to be serious with me instead of being like this. Can you do that? Please?”

“Do I have a choice?” Guybrush crossed his arms.

“The other choice is I beat the ever loving crap out of you until you tell me what’s wrong and you and I both know that when it comes to sword fighting or hand to hand combat, between myself and Graham, I can absolutely whoop you. And that is not an empty threat and you know that.”

Guybrush scoffed, but Link knew that the pirate agreed. The two would spar from time to time when there was a feeling of annoyance or frustration with Graham acting, usually, as a referee to stop the two before it went too far.

He shifted his weight and stared at Link. The chill was gone, but the anger was not.

“Shoot.”

“Punch or words?”

“And you say that I’m being smart.” Guybrush rolled his eyes. “Words.”

Link bit back a scoff of his own and placed his hands on his hips. “Are you stressed because of the festivities that you’re acting out like this?”

“No.” Guybrush looked at the crowd outside the alleyway, his lips tight but he eventually shook his head. “No. Not entirely.”

“Okay. Did Graham do anything to make you mad?”

At that, Guybrush looked at him confused. “Graham?”

“Yes? Considering the poor guy got the absolute beating of his life at your hand.” Link gestured towards the crowd. 

The confusion went back to annoyance. “He won though.”

“You threw that match.”

“At the end of the day, what really matters is that I get to be the performative moron to the amusement of everyone around and making sure others look better. Because even the mere idea that, hey, I might actually be good at something can only and exclusively be chalked up to dumb luck.”

“Who ever said that?” 

Guybrush pointed to the town, his expression not waning in the slightest. “The masses. And they said it very clearly when I was winning.”

“No… did they?” Link blinked, trying to recall when he winced. 

They did. And very loudly at that.

Link was too focused on the two of them, wanting to cheer for both of his best friends equally when he saw something in Guybrush shift for the worst. That playful expression that could potentially double as cocky evolved into a frown and the grip he had on his make-shift sword got tighter if the whites on his knuckles were anything indicative. He watched as Guybrush lunged and in three strong swings managed to knock Graham harshly to the floor and send his weapon flying.

But the archer pushed through that pain, shaking his head and laughing nervously as he gripped his weapon again, ready for round two, but the second the bell struck, Guybrush bolted towards Graham who could barely deflect his strikes. Link could faintly make out what Graham was saying through the shouts and cheers, but he knew it was Graham asking Guybrush to ease up… that he isn’t as skilled at the sword as the other two blonds were. But it fell on deaf ears as Guybrush pulled Link’s signature spin and knocked Graham flat once more.

He shouted for Guybrush to stop, to try and reel him back. Maybe he was trapped in a memory, maybe the crowd shouting while he was in the center was reminding him of his time trapped… whatever it was, something was going on and Graham was tragically taking the brunt while Link could only stand in horror, as no matter how much he tried to push himself to the front, to rush the stage, the people kept shoving him back and blocking his way.

Blocking him as they continued to roar and shout how Graham needed to get up, slam the dirty pirate. He only won those two rounds because he cheated. Because dumb-luck was on his side.

Because Graham is a knight, and he is kind and good hearted and brave.

Because Guybrush is nothing but a smelly, good for nothing, chaos bringing, pirate.

Link saw something in Guybrush break as his grip on his sword lessened significantly. The bell rang, and in two hits, Guybrush fell down and his sword clattered. 

Technically, Guybrush won two out of the three rounds… he should be the victor. But the crowd cheered Graham and the host dubbed him the victor of the challenge while the audience booed the loser that was Guybrush. 

Link watched Guybrush stand up, give a faux bow with that cynical smirk instead of his warm one, and turned to leave the stage, his expression dark and unkind as he beelined to the alleyway.

He heard Graham shouting Guybrush’s name, trying to push past the crowd to reach him, wanting to talk, yet the sea wouldn’t permit. But Link had had enough, shouldering roughly the people as he went to the stage, gripped Graham’s wrist and pulled him somewhere else, somewhere quieter. 

Link didn’t need to ask what was wrong if the prickle of tears in the corner of Graham’s eyes was any indicator. Especially so when Graham looked at him and asked– begged, rather, that Link go to Guybrush first as he tries to think what he did to anger the pirate.

“You didn’t do anything.” Link answered. “You know that.”

“Maybe, yeah… but he’s hurt.” Graham wiped his eye with his arm.

“So are you. And you’re better at talking… the both of you are.”

“Yeah. But I don’t think he wants to see me at the moment. Link, please? I’ll be fine, I just…” Graham looked at him. “Please?”

Link sighed and nodded. “Fine. Don’t move though, alright?”

“My ribs wouldn’t want me moving either.” He scoffed.

The Hylian winced… Guybrush very clearly didn’t hold back those two rounds. With a pat on Graham’s shoulder, he ran towards the alleyway where he saw Guybrush headed for.

Which brought him back to the initial point: the people, rather loudly, said how they felt about him. And it was far from kind or understanding.

“Guybrush–” Link frowned.

“No no! Please! Don’t mend my ego. After all, a clown can always heal with time.” Guybrush laughed. “And I’m just the star example of one, right? Always bouncing back from the mockery or a ridicule or an insult… it’s my specialty. Everyone always says that if they’re not pointing out every single flaw.”

“It is, but that doesn’t make you a clown, it means you’re resilient.” He countered. “And why are you letting a bunch of no names dictate who you are?”

“Because everyone said it for so long and, really nobody cares or wants to hear my words or thoughts.” He scoffed.

“Uh, hi and screw you?” Link glared. “That’s actually extremely insulting considering I’m here for you. I was sent on this entire quest to find you. And I’m here now to hear what’s troubling you because I’m worried about you. Graham and I are both worried about you.”

Guybrush briefly looked away.

“They can say whatever but Graham and I never agreed with them. Ever. And you know that.”

“Two–

“Four.” He corrected. “Graham, me, Winslow, and Elaine.”

He stared at the sky, flipping back and forth internally between wanting to concede and fight. 

“Alright. Four people against an entire town in just one place out of many is hardly a convincing argument.” Guybrush huffed.

“Since when did you care so much about what others think?” Link shifted his argument, realizing that trying to repeat himself that Guybrush’s view of himself was wrong was clearly a ‘one ear out the other’ conversation. “Up until now you had never let what anyone said get to you, or at least get to you like this. And I refuse to drop this until I, at the very least, can understand this mood switch.”

“It’s a front, Link!” Guybrush shouted. “The truth of the matter is, all of this? That whole laughing things off and pretending nothing anyone says is getting to me? It’s just one giant front because the alternative hurts way more! I’d rather people think nothing gets to me and I shrug things off and don’t have a care in the world instead of knowing that it is in-freaking-furiating to hear what they all say about me day in and day out. And I’ve had to hear it all since day one!”

Link stood still as Guybrush paced slightly, opening and closing his hands as his breath got heavy.

“And you want to know the kicker? I kinda believe it because if everyone has been saying then it has to be true, right? Everyone is coming to the same conclusion, it has to be true, right? I mean, heh, I already believe what they all said, but hearing it outloud is so unbelievably painful.” Guybrush laughed bitterly. 

“What of me then?” Link asked. “You know just as well as I do that I have the same problem… of the masses saying one thing and me believing– wanting to believe in something else. You told me, repeatedly I should add, that it doesn’t matter what others think. It’s my actions at the end of the day and what I choose to do.”

Guybrush shook his head. “The difference is what I said doesn’t match who I am. Not a single thing about the actual me either of you have seen. You really believe I got everything together? I don’t. I still panic and stumble and honestly, I’m even shocked that even four of you still think I got it together. The people clocked it in–”

“Will you stop that already?!” Link snapped, startling the pirate as he jabbed a harsh finger into his chest. “THAT’S the front! This whole ‘I’m a clown’ and stuff is the front because, hey, this might come off as a shocker, but I know you pretty freaking well by now as does Graham! Who, by the way, insisted I come and help you because he knew you were hurt! And before you even so much as quip about how only one person cares, know that I would’ve come no matter what because that’s what friends do, you absolute jackass!”

Guybrush opened his mouth but closed it again, his jaw clenching tightly as he looked away. 

But it was Link who snapped his fingers forcing the pirate to look at him once more, fury burning brightly in his eyes.

“I mean it when I say we actually care and we’re friends. Hell, I still think we’re friends irregardless of all this emo nonsense you’re throwing at me. You’re upset? Fine, be upset! But you have four shoulders to lean on to help you get back up because you, Guybrush, are freaking resilient.” Link stepped closer, shoving a stronger jab of his finger to Guybrush who found himself stumbling backwards until his back hit a wall. 

“We want to help because we care, irregardless of what those guys or that infuriating voice in your head said. You want to believe it? Go ahead. But believe me when I say you’re a lot stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for, and no matter what you do or say, it’s not going to shake either me or Graham off from being here for you. So stop it with this lone wolf crap and let us help you!”

Link panted, looking away for a moment and trying to compose himself as Guybrush stood there dumbfounded, taking in those words and blinking in confusion.

“Wow.” Guybrush managed to mutter. “I don’t think anyone has told me off like that in years… or ever, really.”

“...Elaine didn’t?”

“Once… but not with that level of intensity that you just had.”

The two fell quiet again and both of them let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you curse out that much.” Guybrush said, a small smile on his face. “It’s kinda startling.”

“I don’t think I ever did until I met you.” Link admitted, also having a small smile but looking at the pirate. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m… still upset, I think.” He answered, looking around as if to pin the feeling. “I… I don’t know, really. But I know I feel really bad now for what I did to the both of you. Especially Graham.”

Link nodded. “Like I said, you can be upset. I’m not going to fault you and neither will Graham. But I do think you owe Graham an apology for beating the hell out of him.”

“Yeah… yeah I do.” He sighed, pushing himself off the wall and rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to but… still.”

“What happened?” Link asked, seeing Guybrush having slowly come back to his senses. “One minute you two were joking about competing against one another and the next you went off.”

Guybrush frowned and placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head slightly. “I… it’s like I said. The people and their words, it just… it got to me. And maybe it was lingering thoughts of Big Whoop or something else, but hearing repeatedly how I’m basically beneath people, and that I deserve the ridicule and the mockery and being compared to you and Graham… it got to me. Not an excuse, I know, but…”

“No, it makes sense.” Link conceded. “You’re not really one to take center stage and get attention. Even though the whole Mighty Pirate thing would say otherwise.”

“Forgot the trademark.”

“My curse.”

The two chuckled again and sighed. Link looked at Guybrush, seeing the upset expression still on his face and tapped his finger in thought before sighing once again.

“I know we’re both not um… physical types but…” Link sheepishly smirked and opened his arms, “need a hug?”

Guybrush stared, let out a laugh and shook his head. He walked over and the two hugged one another for a while before both of them broke out of it.

“Let's go meet up with Graham.” Link said.

“Think he’s going to hug or whack me with the foam bat as retribution?”

“Well, I’m not sure the order, but probably both. Either way, we’ll figure that out when we get there.”

“Heh. Fair.”

[maryannecrimsworth]

Fly Away

Masterlist

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Winged! Female! Reader

Summary(Request): Wednesday rejecting Reader's love confession because of being too busy with her investigation, but after Crackstone, her 2nd year in Nevermore was boring until she finds out about reader's secret wings, which captivates her, so she starts noticing her more and more until she ends up falling for her, but R now has a boyfriend.

Warnings: Angst, of course; rejection; that's pretty much it

X

When she first arrived at Nevermore, Wednesday was like a hurricane: no one could dare to approach her, no one could help but watch her. Xavier Thorpe was obsessed, Bianca Barclay was envious, and the rest of school loved to see the tension and troubles that followed the Addams.

Perhaps Enid and you were the only exceptions, you two tried to help her to fit in.

Enid was blissful when Wednesday finally accepted to participate in the Poe Cup. You couldn't dare to be part of it — you valued your life too much to be opponents with Enid — but you cheered and shouted for their team like you're a member yourself.

And they won — Enid spent the last days celebrating the win and focusing on getting Ajax attention. You let her be, it would be useless to follow her around right now.

You had other goals. The main one: be true to yourself, finally. That means going after Wednesday and telling her the truth that's been haunting you.

You felt something about her — no matter how creepy and rude she was when you first met.

She was confident and weird, determined and smart.

You couldn't help but have a crush on her. And you had the impression that, if you were able to know her better, something great could come up between the two of you. Maybe even...A date.

You smiled to yourself as you walked through the corridor. You could hear Wednesday talking to Thing from inside her room. Your wings trembled with excitement.

The vest started scratching your back, but you went on and knocked on her door.

You were shaking, and so were the limbs that made you fly, but you controlled yourself – you smiled even brighter and waited for Wednesday to open the door.

For your discontent, it was Thing who opened it.

— Hi. — you walked past him, trying to reach the Addams girl. She was looking at a very creepy board. There were photos of limbs, victims and locations on it. She was investigating. — Can we talk? It'll be very quick.

— Enid isn't here. Go gossip somewhere else.

— I came to talk to you, actually.

— What do you want? — Her eyes didn't move from the board, but you kept stepping closer.

— I want to ask you out. — Wednesday didn't react. You tried again. — I like you, and I think we'd have a great time if we went out on a date.

– No. – she didn't even look at you. – I don't have time for this.

— It's okay, we can do it next week.

— No. — she finally turned to you. Her voice was sharper and colder than usual. — Let me alone.

You widened at her. You heard Thing tipping behind you, probably telling Wednesday off.

– I won't change my mind. — you weren't sure if she was talking to Thing or you. — Go away.

Okay, you had to admit: you were ready for the worst. Only God Himself knew how Wednesday Addams was going to react to an ask like that but....it was worse than anything you could've ever imagined.

It was totally cold and firm — like you weren't even worth a shot or a proper look from her.

— Wow. — you spoke to yourself, nearly laughing from the situation you've got yourself in. — Ok. Bye.

You stormed out the room, your back now was trembling as if you were in pain, your wings were out of control.

Running from Ophelia Hall was not enough.

You ripped your vest out and flew away from Nevermore.

You flew until you could swallow the pain you felt for being treated like that.

X

A part of Wednesday still hated Nevermore. Even though she had a great impression with all the lies, murderers and dangers, it was still a high school. It was still filled with boring, stupid teenagers that, somehow, make themselves even more ridiculous than normies.

Only a Fur would use their power to be famous on Tik Tok — and many others meaningless, superficial hobbies all the students seemed to have.

Sometimes, Wednesday thought about herself as the only being worth attention and conversation in that place.

She stayed with Eugene as much as she could but sometimes even the boy wanted to gossip.

It was gross. The whole quad and the whole cliques of that school were gross and ridiculous.

She was deadly bored. She was considering attacking someone just to see something happening.

That's when she decided to visit Jericho's cemetery.

She was either going to scary or attack the grave digger, she wasn't quite sure yet.

Wednesday knew that, right now, her last resort for some distraction was the local graveyard.

The Addams girl was walking through the dark, hiding in the shadows like if she belonged to them, heading towards the middle of the yard. From there, she could have a great view and find someone to scary.

She was nearly there when she heard a scream — and it was not because of her.

Her body boiled with anger, her mind spinned with curiosity.

She ran after the noise only to see a group of teenagers crying, praying, and running for their lives.

She smiled at the view, and, seconds later, a glorious laughter destroyed the silence of the cemetery.

Wednesday's eyes followed the sound and they met with a statue — a Silhouette of a angel, with moving wings and a sword.

Now, however, the sword was laying on the floor and the wings were stretching alongside the laughter.

Wednesday stepped closer and finally saw: it was you, grinning and enjoying yourself under the moonlight. In a cemetery.

She couldn't dare to interrupt your contagious joy, watching you was enough to give her a pleasure she hasn't felt in months.

And, from that day on, she started to follow you.

X

You were problematic, and you were funny. You knew how to gossip and you knew how to behave properly.

You were straightforward, sometimes even blunt, and you were honest, always.

Most of all, you were loyal.

No wonder why Enid and so many others were friends with you — you were the perfect partner for anything.

Instantly, Wednesday remembered how you were willing to take her as your companion, how you deliberately asked to be with her, nearly a year ago.

And she denied.

She denied any intimacy she now could have with the only being who did not aggravate her violent urges.

You were the chaos she now needed in a sea of boredom.

And Wednesday decided she would accept — even after a year — your request.

She would go out with you.

She had to — after watching you for several months, the only choice she now had was to talk to you. She wanted to know if you were as clever and fun at conversation as you were at scaring people in the cemetery.

Wednesday was looking for you in the quad when a tall boy approached you. Approached you too much.

And he kisses you.

Her stomach churned up violently, her blood boiled as she observed the most grotesque scene she has ever seen.

How could you be with...him?

How?

Suddenly, all your behavior seemed unpredictable and confusing. Dating him was something the Addams would never expect — not after studying you so keenly.

She did not have an answer for this.

So she decided to ask you yourself.

You were stretching your wings at the balcony of your room when a click came from the window. You didn't mind turning around.

If you felt you were in danger, you could simply fly away.

But you sensed something was off when no other sound came closer.

— You need something? 

— Yes, I do. — Her cold voice made you flinch. For a second, you thought you had just heard the voice of a ghost, but it was only her. She did seem as pale as an fantasmagorical being, yet her shining, gorgeous eyes proved she was pretty alive. 

This has already given you shivers – her gaze – now, however, you felt nothing for her. 

You haven’t spoken for a year, and you haven’t thought about her for months.

You moved on. 

— Hi, Wednesday. — You tried to collect yourself from the scare. — Long time no see. 

— I need to tell you something. — Wednesday said.

She was serious. As serious and focused as she was when she turned you down without second thought. 

— Go on. 

— I believe a mistake has been made — she started. — you are associating with the wrong people.

You couldn’t hold your urge to laugh. With a debauched grin, you asked: 

— Is that so? 

— Yes. — she hissed. — You deserve to be with odd people. As odd as you. Not with stereotyped simpletons. 

— Excuse me?

— Be with me. — she stepped ahead, getting closer to you. — We can be extraordinary together. 

— What are you even talking about? — your voice grew louder, and your wings spread wide, flapping around your body. — There is no “we”, there never was. 

— And this is a mistake. — she moved closer again, now only inches away from you. — Leave him. You deserve better. 

You laughed at her again. 

— Let me guess — you leaned over her — I deserve someone like you?

— Yes. — Her voice broke as your eyes fell to her lips. — Precisely.

— “Precisely.” — you burst into laughter. There were tears running down your blushed face when you finally were able to regain your breath and speak again. — Oh, beautiful, when will you realize? 

Wednesday could feel your hot breath touching her face, but your voice was completely cold.

— Only monsters deserve someone as narcissistic as you.

The Addams widened at your words, and she felt her heart skip a beat as you stepped away. 

Salty, icy tears fell from her eyes when you left her on the balcony, flying away without looking back. 

She doesn’t deserve you.

[natty-light-of-my-life]

you are three one four me (pi day special)

summary: mechanic!reader celebrates pi day with their girlfriend in an unexpected way.

happy pi day, nerds!

The first thing you learn as a mechanic, often the hard way, is that the best designs keep it simple. The less complex a machine is, the fewer potential failure points they create. When you see contraptions with too many fittings, too few access points, and way too many dumb features, you know to stay far, far away. Well, you tried your best, anyways.

Working for Tony Stark, you’ve learned (often the hard way), is nauseatingly, annoyingly complex. The man was a genius. Weapons. Flight suits. He understood those concepts better than any other person on Earth, you’d reckon. You would trust Tony with your life on the battlefield. 

But not in the kitchen. Never again.

Friday, bless her soul, could control all the appliances in the kitchen, thanks to Tony’s integration of the AI with the Avengers compound. The AI could control the humidity of the room to a tenth of a percent. She could start running the faucet and fill the sink up with soapy water. She could place an order for the carton of eggs that you forgot to buy at the grocery store. It was great!

Except.

Except, sometimes, Friday would misinterpret a request. After all, a computer was only as smart as the programmer. And Tony, brilliant Tony, did not spend much time in the kitchen.

Which leads you to the current moment. The fire alarm screeched throughout the compound as you ran out into the hallway. The emergency lights flashed, refracting among the hazy, smoke-filled air. You ran towards the kitchen, where the smoke seemed to be heaviest, grabbing the red fire extinguisher from the wall. The floors were already damp, so you assumed that the sprinklers had been triggered. The smoke, however, had not stopped.

You spun around the kitchen, trying to locate the source of the smoke plume. Your eyes widened as you found the flames. The oven was on fire. A big fire at that. You knew the kitchen was all electric, so no natural gas, thank goodness. But still, the oven had somehow caught on fire while you were downstairs in the garage. You saw a bottle of wine broken on the counter, and next to that, a large grease fire where a jar of cooking oil was usually kept. 

If you weren’t drowning in smoke and coughing, you would have let out a string of expletives. Something your meemaw would not approve of and would make Steve blush. You coughed violently again before covering your nose and mouth with your shirt. You lifted the fire extinguisher and quickly turned towards the oven. Yanking the pin out, you took the nozzle and aimed quickly at the base of the fire. Squeezing the trigger, you generously doused the fire in a side-to-side motion. The smoke aggravated your throat and your eyes started tearing up from the heat. Of course, today would be the day when you were alone in the compound. Everyone else was at brunch. Whereas you were about to be turned into brunch. Toast. Char-broiled. Maybe they would serve you with a mimosa.

Eventually, you got the fire under control. With one last squeeze of the fire extinguisher, you snuffed out the last of the flames. You took a second to cough again and try to clear your watery eyes before you marched over to the patio doors. You jerked the glass door wide open, pausing to make sure they stayed in their position. Once you were satisfied that you had done everything you could, you went back to your room, grabbed your phone, and walked away. 

Not five minutes later, the sound of an approaching vehicle caught your attention. You were sitting on a bench outside the compound, trying to get fresh air into your lungs. It was working, but unfortunately your clothes had not fared as well. You were covered in soot and water and fire extinguisher chemicals. 

When the van arrived carrying Earth’s Mightiest Heroes skidded to a halt in front of you, the first thing you noticed was a blur of red hair engulfing your vision. She had jumped, out of a moving vehicle, mind you, and grabbed you by your shoulders. You stood still and gave her a little smile.

“I’m fine, Nat.”

She glared skeptically at you, “your voice sounds a little hoarse. I don’t know about that.”

Leaning down, you gave her a big, tight hug, “Don’t worry. Still at full strength, see?”. She grunted in annoyance, but you could hear the relieved sigh she let out. Her arms tightened around you.

“Glad to see you’re alive, MacGyver,” greeted Tony. You pulled away from your girlfriend.

“No thanks to you, Tin Man.”

“Me?” Tony gasped, “what did I do?”

You gestured to the building behind you. “Your kitchen caught fire, that’s what. And you didn’t equip your sprinklers to handle grease fires.”

Everyone headed upstairs as you explained what happened, and Tony’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“But why was the oven on in the first place?”

“No clue, Tony,” you shrugged, “I was in the garage all morning fixing Natasha’s bike. That she broke. Again.”

Nat chuckled, “Not my fault that those guys were shooting at me.”

“Um no,” Clint chimed in, “It was at least one-hundred and twenty percent your fault.” 

The Black Widow shrugged, “Occupational hazard.”

“I’m so sorry, guys, it’s my fault this happened!”

Everyone turned to Wanda, who shuffled in place and turned guiltily in your direction, “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“Uh,” you started, “no worries. The bike is fine! And we caught the bad guys last week!”

“No,” she shook her head, looking down at her feet, “the fire. I think it’s my fault. Before we left the restaurant, I told Friday to preheat the oven to three-fifty.”

You scratched your neck, confused, “that’s nothing abnormal. Did you have anything in the oven? I didn’t check.”

Wanda shook her head, “No. I had a pie in the freezer that I was going to bake when we came back. But I needed the oven to preheat first, so I told Friday to turn the oven on while we were at brunch.”

“I don’t see how a three-hundred and fifty degree oven could cause all that trouble,” frowned Bruce.

You pointed to the spilled wine and jar of cooking oil. “I think it was just smoke at first, but then the sprinklers came on and the water knocked over the bottle of wine,” your index finger trailed a path from the broken bottle on the counter to the oil, “The alcohol probably ignited, and the sparks lept to the cooking oil. I reckon that’s what happened.”

Bruce nodded, “Sure. But what caused the smoke in the first place? Wanda set the oven to a perfectly normal operating temperature. I don’t see why it would start smoking like that.”

You shrugged.

“Wanda, what did you tell Friday to do, exactly?” Tony asked, trepidation lacing his tone. You glanced over at him curiously.

“I sent a text,” Wanda responded, pulling out her phone and reading her latest message, “‘Friday, please set the oven to 350’”.

“Ah shit,” Tony sighed, bringing his hand to his face.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at the man, “Share with the class, Stark.”

Tony chuckled nervously, “Don’t get mad buuuut I may have set up Friday in metric units.”

You let out an exasperated breath, “Tony….”

“Totally not your fault, Witchy! But you maaay have accidentally set the oven to three-fifty degrees celsius.” 

Clint frowned, “Doesn’t water boil at a hundred degrees celsius?”

You pat the man on the back, “Yup. Tony’s dumb and American, but he made his AI smart and European. The oven was set to approximately six hundred degrees fahrenheit.”

Natasha flicked Tony’s forehead in retaliation. But soon, a thought crossed your mind and you perked up, “Wait, does that mean there is still pie in the freezer?!?”

….3.14159265359….

It turned out that Natasha heard about your affinity for the fourteenth day of March, a.k.a Pi Day. As a science nerd in school, you near-religiously celebrated the holiday with all sorts of circle-shaped foods like cookies and pie. She thought it was cute, and wanted to make your first Pi Day together memorable. So she enlisted the help of Wanda to bake your favorite pecan pie. She and the rest of the team had used the excuse of brunch to go to your favorite restaurants for cookies, pizza, and even a shepherd's pie. 

However, Tony’s programming hiccup meant that instead of a lunch filled with laughter and pie, you ended up on the floor of the kitchen, installing a new oven and repairing everything the fire destroyed.

“Babe,” Natasha said, poking your thigh with her foot, “you really don’t need to fix everything right now. Don’t you want to take a break after going through the fire?”

You mumbled, as there was a flashlight in your mouth as you laid on the floor under the cabinet, “Nuh-uh, thuh soonuh I fis this, thuh soonuh weh geth pae.”

Natasha scoffed from her perch on the other counter, “Oh sure, babe. There’s nowhere else we can get pie. It’s not like we live in one of the food capitals of the world.”

You slid out from the cabinet and removed the flashlight from your mouth, “Not meemaw’s pecan pie! There’s no way we can find a proper pecan pie up here.”

She laughed, “Meemaw would forgive you if you settled for a subpar pecan pie.”

You shook your head, putting on an exaggerated faraway look in your eye, “You haven’t met my meemaw, Natty. Don’t even mention y’alls yankee doodle pies at Christmas or we’ll have to break up. Her heart can’t take that type of betrayal.”

Natasha blushed. “Oh, I’m going to Georgia for Christmas this year?”

You stuttered, the tools in your hands knocking into each other as you sat up, “I mean yeah if you want. I assumed that. Well if –”.

The redhead laughed and leaned down to look at you, an adoring smile on her face, “I would love to go home with you for Christmas, baby.”

You beamed up at her.

She kissed the crown of your head, scrunching her nose at the cloud of smoke that lingered on your person. “But let’s survive Pi Day first, alright?”

You pulled her down from the counter and she dropped into your lap with a huff of laughter. You nodded in agreement and pulled your girlfriend into a kiss. Sweeter than pie.

[qqueenofhades]

Am I crazy for thinking DeSantis is overextending on the cartoonish conservative evil in preparation for his presidential run? I feel like he might have drunk his own kool-aid as far as thinking “things that make you popular on Fox News also make you electable across the US”.

Book bans are not popular. They’re being shot down all over the US even in deep red areas. Taking away the liquor licenses of national chain hotels because they hosted a drag show seems like a good way to make big businesses wary of you, thus putting rifts in the evangelical/big business base of the GOP. People keep forgetting that Trump was a cipher when he ran. He had no record politically so both sides could think he’ll be the worst or the best, but there was no pinning him down. A lot of liberals entertained the possibility that Trump as a former democrat might not be so bad and he definitely caught the wave of people who wanted to try ANYTHING new rather than another Clinton.

Point is, even if DeSantis plays the Trump playbook but in a way more palatable to establishment GOP, that to me seems like a losing strategy rather than a winning one. Trump does not suffer competition and won’t endorse him. DeSantis lacks the decades of buildup of celebrity image and cult of personality. He’s got a an extremist GOP political record with lots of bold moves in a culture war that has NOT been fully litigated yet at the polls and might be less popular than the GOP realizes. I think the GOP is desperate to make him their guy since he’s a governor of a valuable state and he’s “reasonable” unlike Trump but at this point, is it possible they’re overestimating his appeal entirely and he’ll completely crash and burn when actually tested? Here’s hoping, but I’d love your thoughts.

Welp. Honestly, the media's relentless push to crown DeSantis "a more moderate version of Trump" is completely and demonstrably bullshit, since he is already a full-blown fascist and the only reason they think he's moderate is because he went to Harvard and can sometimes speak in complete sentences. Except every other one of those words is "woke," which the GOP can't define as literally anything apart from "something I don't like," and yeah.

The thing about DeSantis is that he's managed to curate an extremely hermetic personal bubble in Florida. He's staffed the state government with toadies and only gives interviews to hand-picked fawning conservative outlets. We're already seeing stories come out (and it's been noted before) that when you take him out of his personal comfort zone and make him answer actual questions from non-Fox reporters, he really struggles. He isn't smart or clever or original. He's just a dyed-in-the-wool white supremacist Christofascist who is willing to be "bold" (read: wildly extreme) and that makes him popular with the establishment GOP, who loved all of Trump's cruel policies but didn't like his personal demeanor. They think they can sell DeSantis to the suburban Republicans who really don't want to vote for Democrats (too liberal! Too brown! Too woke!) but were turned off by Trump's vulgar and criminal antics, and unfortunately, because white Republicans are the worst people in the world, they're probably right.

The problem for the GOP (hahahahhahahahahahaha thoughts and prayers motherfuckers!!!!!) is that Trump's base is still fanatically attached to his nasty orange backside and won't vote for DeSantis under any circumstances, as long as Trump is a factor in the race, because they think "respectability" is a dirty word and Trump's total derangement is what they like about him. He is their personal power fantasy and the living embodiment of their worst and most racist/sexist/xenophobic fantasies, and any hint of becoming acceptable to The Establishment would make them mad. So you've got the establishment GOP who wants to get back into power and thinks DeSantis is more likely to get them there, vs. the TrumpCult who will only ever vote for Trump, even as the establishment GOP is increasingly turning on him and treating him as the electoral liability that he is. (Don't forget the big Dominion lawsuit going on at Fox, which brutally exposed their hypocrisy for EVERYONE, even their own viewers, to see. Welp.)

And yes: America as a whole is not a nakedly fascist, deranged, extreme-right-wing white-supremacist Handmaid's Tale theocracy, despite the best efforts of a despicable minority. The GOP has not won one single meaningful election or federal office since Trump himself sneaked into the presidency thanks to the Electoral College in 2016 (barely squeaking out the House in 2022 and then watching Kevin McCarthy lose fifteen speakership elections in a row doesn't count). A recent poll showed that almost 60% of Americans thought "woke" was a good thing, meaning awareness of social and historical injustices rather than political correctness gone mad. The Democrats have continued to vastly overperform in special and state-level elections alike, including the much-hyped "Red Wave" in the 2022 midterms that turned out to be a Big Lol. Even this year, local Democrats are winning by bigger margins than Biden carried their districts. As I say, the reason Republicans try so hard to suppress, outlaw, and discredit the vote is because their policies/candidates will never win in any fair and legitimate election. They just won't. The only way they can bully their way into power is through fraud, fear, and lies. Of course, they're helped at every stage by the American media and its addiction to the "Both Sides Bad/Horse Race!!!" narrative, but even in this climate, Democrats are still winning.

Anyway: DeSantis is an empty suit who can reliably parrot fascist talking points and use his personal fiefdom of Florida to put them into action, but that doesn't translate to any kind of viable national candidate, especially since he implodes the instant you take him out of that bubble. I don't want to make anyone too overconfident or insist that it will clearly be fine, because the 2024 presidential election will be just as consequential as 2020 and there are way too many people in this country willing to vote for white supremacist fascism Because Gas Prices, but the overall sociocultural and political trends are not moving in DeSantis' direction and we need to work our asses off to make sure it stays that way.

[cinematicsstuff]

Ewan wanted so much to scream "HAYDENNNNNN"🥰

But he couldn't...

~

I urge you to see this new interview. Vivien is so deep and smart for her young age, it's impressive. Carrie Fisher would be so proud.

We don't learn much except that Ewan is still more than ready for a season 2. Ah yes, he obviously got told off by his publicists, because this time, he used the word "brother" while talking about Hayden. I think his publicists moderately appreciated how obvious he was about how he felt during the last Star Wars Celebration🤣

Another interesting thing, this interview is proof Disney has decided to campaign for OWK for the next Emmy's, which means we will probably enjoy new interesting content, and that, possibly, the artists of this show could get nominated.

I think it's likely, although nothing is sure. The show is not undeniable but the Limited category in which it competes is very uncompetitive this year. Also, OWK did well with the guilds.

I hope the team gets some love from the industry. We'll see.

~

To watch the interview, type "For your consideration Disney" on Google. Once on the Disney web page, click on the OWK poster, then on "Extras".

[neoncat666]

extremely long shadows over welde character analysis post

by extremely long i mean its fucking 3k words cause I go too silly.

Spoilers up to ep 8 and its mostly rambles so apolocheese. I also posted this on my twitter so if u saw it there here's an actual text version LOL

Argentum:

Oh my god. You are soooo…… First of all, in the story we’ve gotten this. Argentum is a strong headed, curious person who is a bit stubborn and holds themself at a bit of a graceful appearance on the outside. They are smart, witty, but also a bit of a temper especially when it comes to frankly a little stupid ideas. They are also kind and care for others. We were shown from the beginning that they enjoy their work and meeting fans and even with people they just met are willing to help them stay safe. Also they’re a little dumb. Sometimes curiosity overrides rational thinking and that was shown when they touched the weird fucking webbing in the cave and also that ENTIRE plan when there was the confrontation between Vhaeraun and Lolth which was fucking actually crazy. This isn’t even beginning to talk about the head friend. I am constantly thinking about that voice and who that could be. Brings us speculation around them. Argentum is not human, or at least fully human. Their eyes are def not human and Hayden is a silly lil guy who would pull a trick like that. There was one speculation on them possibly being a Kalashtar and I think it could fit but honestly for now it hasn’t been on my forefront. I also bought the inscriptor class finally and was looking at how possibly they were built. What stats what subclass ect. I don’t fucking know.. Now you might be asking “Hey why don’t you just ask?” CAUSE IM SCARED. But honestly cause I wanted to see if I could figure it out myself lmao. It boiled down to either Mystery or Historian subclass is what Snail helped me narrow to. Could be wrong tho. There’s also little tidbits about Argentum that have come from outside the sessions like when I asked if they had a canonical birthday cause “celebrating fictional characters birthdays is cringe” “fuck you happy birthday argentum” is funny. Still honestly wanna know if any of the party has canon birthdays. I got hit with the “Oh they don’t know their own birthday.” and then swindled. There was also the discussion on Hayden’s pcs never really having parents or family and Argentum was included in that list which more or less got confirmed in session this episode (7). I still don’t know their motives, still don’t know their relationships with others because it seems everyone is connected to someone except Argentum, and I still don’t know who their patron is and if that is the same as the voice in their head. Love the silly though

Phoenix:

Fifi….. Not much was known about you until today and holy shit did it rock my world. Before we had known he was the apprentice to Ipswich and was sent in his place as guest of honor. We also then found out he was a spy working on tailing Lolth and that’s kinda all we knew about Phoenix for a bit, at least heavy lore wise. He’s a sarcastic, witty, bitch and I love him so much. I could never surpass Snail as Phoenix Enjoyer but it’s close. We learned a bit more during the nightmare drink sequence where he met his patron and got his powers fucking zapped. A couple things stood out to me from it. How his patron looked and specific wording from Phoenix. We know Ipswich isn’t mortal anymore but Phoe had said something along the lines of “I’d get my ass kicked and be right back here the next day.” He is surrounded by death or even just the undead. His patron deals in undead magic and I don’t think if Phoenix gets knocked down he wouldn’t be back again looking all fine the next day. We don’t know his patron’s name which like. Fuck. but lmao. Anyways Ipswich is tracking him like crazy and says he has this important quest although we don’t know a lot of Phoe’s thoughts and feelings on what he’s doing. To me it almost seems like he’s a tool or pawn for others and idk if I can fully call him a good person. Doing a bit of research into his pact and such it seems that he’s just going to possibly lose more and more humanity as he gets stronger but also i couldn’t tell you how much he has already. There’s also the whole cousins and throne thing that got dropped this episode. It seems his family is also involved with this whole scheme but Phoe is the favourite of the bunch. The idea that he could possibly be royalty was also thrown around and i think if he was like secret prince it would be from a large family all vying for a throne or he is working with Ipswich and others to usurp the current ruler and take the power for himself. Although knowing Fifi it’ll probably be like a secret third option. Not much except he’s so 90s movie older sister to me and the fact Ipswich runs a school for swindlers which is kinda funny.

Sunder:

Babygirl. Pookie. Love of my life who I want to kill me. God. This is now my love letter to you. I saw you across the bar and thought you were sooo scary and I’ve been enraptured ever since. Anyways that’s a freak. He’s not the most talkative and seems more lonely despite everything. They’re funny, loyal, kind, and ruthless. We didn’t get much for Sunder for a bit until mostly the shopping episode. We learned a bit through Kelly and the nightmare drink of what makes up Sunder but it didn’t really culminate until the head crushing I would say. Honestly I don’t even care I just fucking love the way Sunder is played. Like I’m sitting here trying to find words that aren’t just I think he’s neat cause I do think analyzing him is intriguing. They’re going to get angry and they’re going to get violent and you are not safe. It’s something that was so surprising at first because of how much Sunder kind of fell into the background. The nightmare drink gave us the first look at this, that Sunder had apparently killed someone, a kid even, but a lot of their violence was played off as a joke by the community, I know I did. Learned today that the person in that nightmare was Ilmater and it shows that she wasn’t lying when she said that visions and nightmares of this accident are a plague. I believe them when they say it was an accident and idk how young they were but to harbor that from a young age will fuck you up. Their morals are something that intrigues me i would say the most. No trouble in murder although I assume that’s more or less towards people who piss him off or are generally bad people. He’s kind hearted and that’s shown a lot especially with this last interaction I’d say. I still need to like rewatch a lot of parts of it but “we were just kids” genuinely fucking rocked me to my core and it got me i won’t lie. We’re still very early in but idk, I want to see Sunder truly happy and not haunted by the ghosts of their past. I feel this was most likely the first step but it’s hard to say as we go forward. I think violence and blood will always follow it’s just how they choose to take it.

The Wall:

I think now Wall is the character we know the least about, at least to me. We know his duty to Eilistraee and his duty to Zephrael and also his little foodie quirks (love him dearly) but outside of that I don’t think we know a lot. He’s the character I have the least notes for now but I do know this. He is loyal to a fault, a little dense, kind, and revels in battle and violence. I think about his nightmare and the fear of losing her and the sword then what happened to this episode. He’s had this since he was a child and then he had this dream, this trip to the beastland plane and looked Eilistraee in the eye and fought her. I believe he still loves her, cares for her, but I also think it has changed since that episode no doubt. Rewinding a bit, I think a bit about him being told he has to be pure of heart in order to wield the sword. What does pure of heart truly mean? Wall loves fighting and murder. He actively committed torture. Also he’s the bodyguard for an objectively bad man. There’s the argument of his intentions are pure although I doubt you can do a lot of what he did and have those intentions be fully pure. It’s just something I think about more than probably a normal person should teehee. Anyways the conversation he and Rae had at the beginning of this session should classify as psychological warfare cause I genuinely do not think I’m ever going to recover. I have been talking about it for weeks how they are the chosens, favored, by literal enemies and seem to have some sort of hit on them by a couple of deities now. I thought about how it might affect relationships and how Wall views them. We know he’s very loyal but I always wondered how far he would need to be pushed before that is broken. Seems like an extreme amount. His morals are probably what intrigue me the most tbh. I’d kill to know what his alignment is LMAO. Most of all I just really love the Wall because he is goofy and silly but he also isn’t a stupid brick wall that doesn’t know anything and I really enjoy seeing the times he gets to explain things. Fuck it we Wall.

Zephrael:

Okay so this will be the longest one cause I’m biased and yes Zephrael is my favourite. I always feel a little bad when it comes to that and showing that favouritism because I truly do love the entire party so much. This hit me the most when the show was just starting out and I did feel like I needed to show how much I loved each character and not just focus on Rae lol. I hope this thread can at least show that (if you even make it this far) Anyways Zephrael is a fucking freak and I love him so much. I’ve done multiple posts on him before and yeah Im gonna repeat some of it here i wont lie. Right out the gate we probably learn the most and yet the least about Rae’s past and present. He is an emissary for the reformed church of Lolth and an honored guest. He had known about Edo’s work before and talked about how it had helped with relations between the public and the reformed church. This means everything and nothing to us. But it does show that despite Rae’s… oddness, he is extremely well spoken when he wants to be and I think about that speech a lot. The next few episodes gave us some more information yet also a lot more questions. These weird pains that seem to predict disasters, the extreme phobia of spiders despite being a paladin of Lolth, and his both egotistical yet self deprecating attitude. It was fascinating to watch him because he clashed but never in a way that made him irredeemable and I’ll go more into that at the end section. A few early things I thought about a lot before the catalyst that was the nightmare drink were who the reformed church was, where did Zephrael come from, why was he chosen as this ambassador, and why he didn’t know undercommon but knew abyssal. These are still questions I have to this day LMAO. The nightmare drink vision I possibly overanalyze the most next to Phoenix’s. It stood out due to the fact that it wasn’t, bad. Rae could see again, he saw his father and best friends again, he got told he was going to learn the truth again. Why was this considered a bad thing? Everyone else experienced horrors and regrets yet Zephrael got sorrow. It jumpstarted the part aasimar Rae theory tho. Angel imagery Rae makes me clinically insane I won’t lie and his father having these large wings and bright white light did not help. There’s the big question of what he is and also how he joined the church. Hell, even how he feels about the church as well, truly at least. During one of the hiatuses fandom went crazy and Snail Snailmuds dropped out of nowhere that the runes on Rae’s body weren’t just random but fucking translated abyssal that said “PAIN CHAOS POWER” which first of all goes hard second of all what the fuck.

Theory crafting for Zephrael always feels like climbing uphill and also being constantly shot at cause every time something happens with that man it turns out to be a secret third thing going on oh mygod. Anyways I’ve discussed whether or not he was forced into this church, was kidnapped, born into it, ect because at the end of the day, he seems to very much be a tool or pawn for this church and/or Lolth. Also the whip being an artifact of Lolth or whatever they’re called again I forgot??? What the fuck dude. ALSO HIM SLEEPING IN BATHTUBS????? Grizzly has said this will make sense later but genuinely what the fuck there is something wrong with him. Moving on, revelation about the tattoos comes out and we get the torture episode. Well we get the holy shit they just killed those guys begining and then torture. First of all, I cheered louder than anyone else when Rae actually did fucking combat instead of running away and also the fact he can use his whip. Anyways dumb and dumber torture a guy and first of all the lay on hands to keep him alive during torture was insane and I hope to see it again in anything and it’s also where it’s learned that the tattoos on him were “forcibly engraved” which was honestly brushed off and a lot happened that I think most people forgot but I didn’t cause I’m crazy. Anyways moving on from THAT we get the typical Rae. Dodging questions when Argentum tries to interrogate him and also dunno if he’s just fuckin lying or not when he does actually answer them.

Episode 6 and 7 are where I think Rae slightly pivots. Not really noticeable but he feels a little more, close. It was also a change I noticed with the cast and I think that helped a lot of character dynamics as well. Rae’s stupid beef with Argentum was so fucking funny and I do think about him wanting to heal Sunder before himself after the Bulette because if he heals Sunder, how would that help him. Yes they’re his bodyguard but the monster is dead and it’s not like Sunder can heal him back. It was a decision that I think was the most different for Rae because he was shown to care deeply for Wall but not so much the others as much. He still doesn’t care for the others as much as he does The Wall but I do think he has grown a fondness or care for the others whether he wants to or not. And thats the thing, I could not tell you if he does actually wanna care for them or not. Yes they are allies and help but he seems to try and keep things at a transactional level or how much power it may bring him. He still does but like his dynamic with Argentum seems closer cause the antagonizing feels more like siblings getting on each other’s nerves rather than a growing distance. I think Sunder also displaying that brutality may have put him more into Rae’s good books too. Anyways he read a fucking book huge day. Now he has even worse mommy issues. Ep 7 killed me with hammers but that was spoken about. His relationship with Wall is something that fascinates me though. Rae is selfish, it’s not hidden at all, yet he does seem to care deeply for Wall and almost defends him more than he would defend himself. It’s nice to see for this bodyguard and his charge dynamic but ep 7 spread some light on it and I do think their bond will outlive the will of the Gods but what do I know, I’m not anyone at that table. Zephrael is rude, odd, egotistical but also masochistic and does care deeply when he wants to and you don’t see that kind of character as much I wanna say. He’s my favourite cause his weird gnc swag enraptured me thats all he is post over.

Not actually over cause there’s one last thing. These characters would not be these characters without the wonderful players behind them. Each episode brings out better and better performances that have me actually going crazy over them. I genuinely wouldve had nothing to write about if it weren’t for the fact everyone brings so much life into these characters and loves them so much that they feel so fucking real. They don’t feel flat or simple but very nuanced characters that I love to study and even be wrong about (i actually hate being wrong and every time im wrong i get so ashamed) but Argentum’s flourishes and talks to get out of situations, Phoenix’s wit and holy shit that dread form voice, Sunder during the market fight and then the softer scene with Varic, Wall’s humor and even talking about the more serious stuff, and Zephrael’s ability to balance harshness and endearing at the same time. That’s Hayden, Leizu, Juzo, Ben, and Grizzly and I genuinely cannot fucking talk about the performances enough. I’ve thought about making a post just about it but I fear I just wouldn’t be able to articulate what I wanna say enough. Then obviously it wouldn’t even be possible without the fucking amazing world building and npcs Jonah has provided. Everything is so immersive and I find myself caring for each and every npc we meet whether caring for their safety or caring too much cause I dislike them. Every npc sticks with me and I grow so attached so quickly because they feel so real in this world that also feels so fucking real. It feels like we are just peeking into another world and I actually can’t multitask when watching sow cause I get too sucked in. It’s really hard to do that and I talk about it a lot but never really publicly so I thought I would here.

Anyways for real this time post over, this ended up way longer than I thought it was gonna be so ur a real one if you read this all the way through lol. I’m off to go think about sow merch again as I wait for permission and stuff cause im crazy. See ya later