#which was harder than expected
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Life got super busy so I’m behind on Veiltober, but I finally finished this one! Emmrich!
#my art#veiltober#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#I’ve been having fun with colors#this one my reference was black and white#so I got to make up the colors#which was harder than expected#also I had… 6 performances last weekend on top of it being my birthday#and my normal job#😩#I want more time to paint
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Deadlock wip
#it’s an elevator… which was harder to convey with values than i expected#his kill bill shit#deadlock#drift#transformers#art#wip#maccadam
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Behold - my first edit
#kagehina#haikyuu#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#haikyuu!!#hope someone likes this bc i spent way too long on it lmao#it was harder than i expected#but also more fun than i expected#hey at least i learned a new skill#the funny thing is i dont even like ts#which is good because now i can't stand this song anymore
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i never ever cry in front of anyone ever but there was this boy i was OBSESSED with in primary school when i was like seven years old because he was the fastest boy in the class and he had cool spiky hair and i always thought it was a crush until i came out and realised it was gender envy of some form and today my friend out of the blue told me that i look like him and we looked at his instagram together and i actually do. i look almost exactly like him. and i cried like an absolute wanker because i’ve been so miserable my whole life being perceived entirely the wrong way and i went home today and looked at myself and realised i look like the boy i always wanted to be when i was a kid. and whenever i feel bad about myself i get to remind myself that i look like him so i shouldn’t feel bad because back then i couldn’t have ever dreamed of getting to look like this. and t will only make it better and even though the idea of starting it is still so scary to me i keep having moments like this that make me realise how good it’s going to be even if some of it will suck. i always focus on all of the ways my transition has gone and will go wrong and i forget that it’s going to go right in a lot of ways too
#i remember what this boy looked like when he started getting spots and what he sounded like when his voice started breaking#and it makes me so excited even for the parts of t that everyone says are ‘bad’#my identity is so much more binary than i tell myself it is. i play it down because being a fully binary Guy who wants to be purely masc is#a lot harder to break to my mother who is devastated even at the thought of me being a masculine woman#i’ve been pretending for a while that i’m more ‘in the middle’ than i really am because of that#but moments like this always remind me that i know exactly what i want to be and what i want to look like#and it’s the exact opposite of everything my mother wants me to be#this shit is going to be Hard. and i don’t expect my mother will stick around the further into my transition i get#which is so unbearable to me that i try not to think about it. i just can’t go back into the closet even for her#i was trying to force myself to do that before xmas and that’s what made me attempt and end up coming out to her#but i didn’t tell the full truth i just said i hate being feminine and i hate being a girl#i couldn’t bring myself to say the rest and i don’t know if i’ll ever say any of it to her#i wish i had a therapist so i could talk about all this as i’m working through the beginning of transition but. oh well
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read ivypool's heart and ouh boy here comes the crying.
#warrior cats#working theory is that the spirits in nature are the ones who make the signs. then starclan interperets them. then boom to the living clans#they go.#which would prolly be why starclan is so.... incompetent#they dont know what the fuck theyre doing#im so happy ivypool got her closure though and its a really nice message of working through grief#i lost my dad a few years ago so some of this hit way harder than expected lmao
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yeah I know this piece of media has a ton of themes and motifs but like. is it entertaining and coherent ? because if it fails to be engaging or coherent I cant actually consider it the triumph you say it is, but, well. I AM on the themes and motifs website, so please start writing my obituary
#this isnt about anything specific (though I think its mostly applicable to comics lol) but just. I think its a lot harder to make a story#engaging than people give credit for - if anything by focusing too much on the message I think it does a disservice to the craft of#storytelling if its the only metric you judge by!! especially since these things so often go hand in hand and a good story usually has many#of its own intricacies which make up part of why it IS a good story - but I think from the perspective of someone who WANTS to tell stories#if you get too bogged down in what you're trying to say you might end up forgetting to make the journey THERE itself interesting.#and if the journey to the message is uninteresting then how do you expect people to follow it to its completion and comprehend it in full?#also dont get it twisted I LOVE THEMES AND MOTIFS AND THEMES AND MOTIFS POSTING!!! but there are other underrated storytelling aspects imo.
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writing seavbo angst so i can trick people into clicking ‘next work’ on the series and discovering my true magnum opus, seavbo romance manga
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(I was on vacation for a few days but I hope I can catch up again soon lol)
For day 9 I chose Adair!
#he kinda looks like a fossil in the dirt which was so much harder to draw than expected lol#also how tf does one draw the daube gene#i absolutely cheesed it by using a watercolour pencil but idc#my art#jester's frtober 24#flight rising#own
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my 玉线 finally came into today hehe gna be making haku’s earrings 🏃🏻
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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good
#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man#i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault#ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever#but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's#depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way#i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but#i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being#suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways#but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to#act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand#idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that#getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh#besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks#ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru#til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking#but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort#the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done
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the only thing I'm grateful to Only Friends about at this stage is introducing me to Force and Book ~~
I will finish it because I want to support them but the glossing over the trauma and not allowing the growth of their characters has actually made me so sad??
Manifesting an excellent series that they're the main couple in next year, they deserve better. I kind of don't rlly understand the hate on them tho? Lots of actors have shitty series & characters (which I don't think is the case with them) and they're still liked? make it make sense plez
#Like some other actor pairs I wasn't impressed with#Even prior to finding ForceBook#but they're loved not hated so#srsly is it because they're older than other actors?#i want to fix the unfairness#it is like watching what happens to talented ppl daily??#bc they're not talented in the “right” way whatever that is#like talent is subjective anyway?#i often find other characters in ofs to be overreacted#like having set reactions to certain situations#very method acting i guess#but forcebook i don't feel like engage in that as much#not so much method which is not a bad thing at all imo#i haven't been able to take my eyes off of Mew the entire show#because i can see there's a lot more going on#Top too#But the others i kinda got it after a while ik what to expect#they're all v talent#but ik from singing that it's harder to play emotions that aren't sadness & anger#they're sooo much easier to hide behind and tend to look impressive#that's what i feel like is happening here#this feels personal ahhaha
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Day 6 of @quezify's Eggtober! Wanted to make some retro inspired egg dish sprites! Timelapses below the cut!
#my art#eggtober2023#eggtober#pixel art#two of these today since they're really small <3#both are 14x14 and 9 colors#which I chose since I realized all the food art in SOTN is 14x14 or smaller#these were fun to make but wayyy harder to do than I expected#big respect to people who make really small things in pixel art
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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04.23.24
🗄️
#(i made this during lesbian visibility week#i dont know if itll still be that when this posts)#cabby ii#ii cabby#ii fanart#inanimate insanity invitational#inanimate insanity#(ill make actual cabby art at some point!!!! i just needed to pinpoint the design thats been vaguely floating around in my head)#(which is harder than one would expect)
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i got one of those dna ancestry tests a while ago and i was hoping the results would tell me im from somewhere i didn't expect and it did :]
#almost half swedish and over a quarter scottish which i didn't know#thought i was french but there's no french in there#i just think its neat :]#ancestry: ur white. me: ok thanks#sketch speaks#SORRY ''UR WHITE'' ''OK THANKS'' MADE ME LAUGH HARDER THAN I EXPECTED
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Already have one of my ideas down for what to wear for the LA dir en grey shows hehehehe
#shouts into void#still gotta figure out which cosplay I wanna do for the other day#but this one is a more creative and silly interpretation that I’m very excited about#note to self do not wait until April to start sewing#trying to find the correct intersection between looks I wanna wear looks that aren’t appropriative and looks that would survive a moshpit#for a potential cosplay#has been harder than expected#as much as I wanna do one of the old school full vinyl looks…..not for a standing room show lol
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