#which ultimately lead to my downfall bc i couldnt keep up etc
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autism guy talks about feelings
#genuinely the joy that fictional characters are able to give me overshadows that which irl people can give me in such a huge way.#back when i did have a girlfriend (despite her being the most important person i have ever (to this day still) met)#i still can not truly say that i loved her.#idk if this is me being incredibly aroace or if it was an entirely different personal problem or summ but.#i dothink its closely related to me feeling (in comparison) so strong about fictional characters.#most of today (building my lil rin) i spend saying “augh i love her so much”#which is true!! and i have NEVER felt that way about anyone other that fictional people. i cannot imagine it to irl folk.#sillyposting#augh dont mind me i just need to get my thought out.#im sometimes a bit stuck on the fact that i dont 'miss' people.#even with aforementioned girlfriend.#it was just a relationship i grew into where we'd text eachother every single day.#which ultimately lead to my downfall bc i couldnt keep up etc#but.#its such a necessary part of any relationship to WANT to talk/engage with the other.#and i dont really get that.#=3=#hm#augh enough talking..... time to get back to the funnies (tumblr dashboard my beloved..........)
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