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halowastaken · 4 years ago

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Why I left (chapter3)

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summary:

It was a horrible day for Peter Parker. He got a D in his History quiz, he fell asleep in Mr. Harrington’s class and turns out that Flash also had detention today. Peter just wanted to go home already. When he got out of school, he walked towards the subway and when he got there, the sun was going down Wait The sun is going down Finally

-------

“Mr. Stark did you eat all my sour patches?!” Peter yells checking everywhere in the kitchen

“Relax kid. I can buy more” Tony says looking at his phone

“No you don’t get it! I literally separated the greens and oranges out of those bags! Those are the flavors I don't like!” Peter said closing the cabinet

“Those are not flavors, those are colors. And just so you know, there is a bag left in the fridge” Tony says and Peter immediately opens the fridge

“Why did you put them in the fridge?” Peter asks grabbing the bag

“I thought it tasted better when they were cold” Tony admits and Peter just shakes his head while smiling. Then he went to the living room and sat in the couch to keep doing his homework

“How is that homework going kid?” Rhodey asks without looking up from the sandwich he is making

“Great actually. I’ll ask a friend for help with my Spanish homework tho” Peter added writing something down in his book

“You know, instead of picking Spanish you should’ve picked Italian so I could help you out” Tony said, finally looking up from his phone. Peter blinked for a second

“Yup. That would totally make sense” Peter said and started looking for his pen

“It actually does. Tony’s mom was Italian and his Italian is really good” Peter rolled his eyes and then spotted the pen right next to Tony

“Yeah. But I am pretty sure that is not one of the languages they teach at high school” Tony said looking at Peter who raised an eyebrow

“That won’t be necessary. Can you pass me my pen?” Peter says looking at Tony

“Why do you say that?” Tony asks, ignoring completely what Peter asked. Peter just glares at him

“Parlo già italiano. Passa quella dannata penna” I already talk Italian. Pass the goddamn pen. Tony almost speechless just hands Peter the pen “Thank you” The room goes into complete silence for a few seconds

“So we are just gonna ignore that he doesn’t even have an accent?” Rhodey asks looking at Tony

“Right. I forgot May is Italian and that you are a little shit” Tony says looking at Peter who just smiles

“Learned from the best” Peter says and then his phone rings. He picks it up and answers the call “Che succede May?” What’s up May? Tony scoffs

“Show off” Tony murmurs and Peter just sticks his tongue out

“Just checking in honey! Have you eaten yet?” May asks and Peter smiles

“Yeah. I am doing my homework right now. How are you guys doing?” Peter asks and hears May sight. He knows that lately May and Ben have been arguing lately. She says that all couples fight sometimes, but the truth is that when his parents were alive, they never argued. At least Peter doesn't remember them arguing. Also since he met Mr. Stark, he hasn't seen him arguing with Ms. Potts either

"Don't worry about us sweetie. Have fun this weekend ok? Be safe! Larb you!" May finally says which makes Peter have a sad smile

"Yeah. Larb you May" Then May hangs up the call and he sighs. Tony looks at Rhodey and Rhodey looks at Tony. They knew something was going on, so Rhodey took the hint and finished his sandwich

"I am going to say hi to Pepper. Haven't seen her since I arrived" Then Rhodey takes his sandwich and goes to the elevator. When Rhodey is finally gone, Tony looks at Peter

"Mr. Stark, do you ever fight with Ms. Potts?" Peter finally asks without looking up

"Honestly kid? Yeah. Lately we haven't fought as often but before the whole accords thing we fought a lot" Tony says hoping that will make Peter feel better. He doesn't know the whole story but he's getting there

"And you guys always fixed it, right? Like not because you guys argue it means you guys were gonna break up" Tony's eyes widened. He didn't expect that

"Well, Pepper and I broke up more than it's recommended. Most of the time it was because I messed up but Pepper messed up too. We both messed up lots of times and we broke up even more" Peter then looks up to him. He looks worried. Tony sighted and gave him a soft smile while pointing at the ring in his hand "However she stayed. So did I. We figured it out because I love her and, at least I like to think that she loves me too" Peter looks down and sighs

"Yeah. You're right. Sorry it's just, well, Ben and May have been arguing lately and they never do that. I guess I am just being paranoid" Peter says with a soft smile on his face

"Well to that I have to say that I know Ben and May. They may don't like me very much but I do like them. They take care of you and I really appreciate that. I know that May is a smart woman and Ben is a good man. They are in love and I am pretty sure that some fight won't change that" Tony says and Peter finally regains that happy smile

"Thanks for listening Mr. Stark" Peter says and Tony ruffles his curls

"Anytime kiddo. Now what if you and I go out and buy donuts for everyone. Rhodey really likes them and I kinda feel bad that I didn't tell him about your existence" Tony asks and Peter stands up quickly

"Raise you to the garage!" Peter says and runs to the elevator. Tony sights and follows

---

"I'm late!" Peter says coming down the stairs as fast as he can

"Grab a banana and let's go! I'll drive you!" Tony says looking for his keys

"What?! I can just take the suit!" Peter says while Tony throws a banana at him, which he totally caught

"There's no time kid! Grab your stuff! Come on!" Normally Peter would argue a little more but this time he was late and if he had another tardy, he would get detention. And he hated detention

They got in one of Tony's Audis and Tony started driving. They were exactly thirty-eight minutes from the school, and Peter was supposed to be there in thirty minutes. It wasn't pretty

"Kid at what time did you get to the Tower yesterday after patrol?!" Tony asks driving

"I don't remember! Like two thirty? Three maybe?" Peter said and Tony just blinked

"Peter that is way past your curfew! What the hell were you thinking Peter?!” Tony said yelling without taking his eyes out of the road

“I am sorry!” Peter said almost eating the banana

“You are not having lab time next weekend!” Tony yelled

“What?! That is not fair at all! You stayed up all night in the lab!” Peter said and Tony glared at him

“Not only I am a grown ass adult, but I am one of the adults taking care of you! And I don't know if you know this but I don’t have school!” Tony yelled at him

“Tony keep your fucking eyes in the road! You are gonna get us both killed, you absolute moron!” Peter said and Tony took a turn that make Peter hit his head with the window

“Don’t make this about me young man! You are so grounded right now!” Tony said and Peter rolled his eyes

“I know that you are too old to even know what time it is, but, fyi, we still have time!” Peter said finishing his banana

“That is the best excuse you came up with? Really? And that come back! That was horrible!” Tony said and Peter raised an eyebrow

“Are you really judging my comebacks right now? That is literally the lamest thing ever. Don’t you have anything better to do instead of that? Like looking where you are fucking going?! What the fuck Tony! Did you get your license yesterday!?” Peter asks and Tony rolls his eyes

“If you don’t like how I drive, then drive yourself to school. Oh wait, you can’t! You didn’t pass that test! Pity!” Tony said and finally parked aggressively in front of the school. They both looked at the time on the car’s screen. There is still time left

“Gotta go! Thanks for the drive Mr. Stark!” Peter said getting out of the car with a smile

“Any time kid! Good luck in that history quiz” Tony yelled from the car. That was just how their relationship worked. Normal stuff

Peter ran as fast as he could to his first period class. He couldn't believe he was actually gonna make it. He could literally see everyone getting in the classroom. And just when he was in front of the door, Ms. Carlyle closed the door in Peter’s face just as the bell rang. Peter sighed in defeat and then knocked the door. Ms. Carlyle opened the door and glared at Peter

“Mr. Parker. You are late again” She said and Peter didn’t answer. He knew that arguing would just get him into a bigger mess, so he just got in the classroom and sat on his seat. Ms. Carlyle went to her desk to look for the paper slip and then handed it to Peter. Peter knew what it meant already

Detention after school

Fuck

---

“I was literally like thirty seconds late! It’s not fair!” Peter said while ned opened his locker

“You know how Ms. Carlyle is. The woman is not a good person” Ned said grabbing a book from his locker

“And that gave me detention! May is gonna be pissed!" Peter says

"Well she's not the only one" Peter jumped when he heard MJ from behind. Peter turned around and she was there reading her book "You're gonna miss decathlon practice" Peter groans he forgot about that part

"I am so sorry MJ. I promise I'll make up to you guys" Peter says and she just raises an eyebrow

"Relax loser. Just study in your detention. If you don't I will have to replace you with Flash and if that happens I'll murder you" MJ says without looking up from her book. Then she slowly walks away

"She really scares me" Ned says when she's finally out of sight. Peter just nodded

"Yo Penis!" Peter rolled his eyes while Ned closed his locker "I am talking to you Parker!" Flash insisted

"Are you tho?" Peter says and then he starts following Ned

"Pretty sure I am! What? Are you too busy thinking about sucking Ned's dick to answer?" Flash teases and a few guys around him laugh. Peter doesn't pay attention and keeps walking towards his next class. So apparently today was gonna be one of those days

And he was right. It was a horrible day for Peter Parker. He got a D in his History quiz, he fell asleep in Mr. Harrington’s class and turns out that Flash also had detention today. Peter just wanted to go home already. When he got out of school, he walked towards the subway and when he got there, the sun was going down

Wait

The sun is going down

Finally

When he was almost getting to the subway, he instead hid in a dark alley and put on the Spider suit. That’s how his evening started. He went to Delmar’s to buy a sandwich and then headed to times square. Building from building showing off every move he made. He loved being Spiderman and he would never give that up. Peter liked to think that the universe gave him Spiderman as an apology for making his life unnecessarily miserable for so long, and with Spiderman, and with Spiderman he also found a new reason to be happy. A new perspective. If he had a bad day, there was always Spiderman to fix it.

Unfortunately for Peter Parker, Spiderman also has bad days.

It was late, almost midnight. He already ignored Karen multiple times trying to tell him that it is way past his curfew. He was sitting on the edge of a building somewhere in Manhattan (sometimes even Spiderman has work to do out of Queens) he was looking for something to do when he heard it. Someone was yelling for help. Peter immediately shot his web and maybe a street from where he was, there was a man being mugged. A kid to be more specific.

��Guys you shouldn’t be up so late!” Peter said arriving at the scene. When the bad guy finally saw Peter, his first action was to take his gun from his pocket. Peter groaned “Why do all criminals have the same gun? Like really think about it. The same black, tiny little gun. In movies and in real life like where do you guys always get the same boring stuff?” Then immediately the bad guy pointed his gun at Peter. The kid could’ve escaped but he didn’t. He stayed right there “Get out of here!” Peter yelled at the kid. When Peter finally decided that he had enough, he shoot his web at the gun and took it from the guy

Or so he thought

It all happened so fast. Right when he was about to take his gun, the bad guy shot the kid. Peter realized when the gun was finally in his hands. His heart stopped. His entire body was indecisive on what to do. That gave time for the bad guy to escape, but that didn’t matter anymore. Peter threw the gun to the floor and immediately took the kid’s hand to look for a pulse. Nothing. That kid looked like he was just starting middle school. Peter didn’t want this to happen. He wanted to help “K-Karen?” Peter said trying to breathe evenly

“I already alerted the police Peter. You should go now” Karen answered and Peter knew she was right. After all he could get overwhelmed easily. He just shot his web and started moving without a destination. Everything started to be louder and brighter. The sounds that a normal person could barely hear were creeping inside of him making it hard to breathe. Inside all the pain that his surroundings were causing, he managed to get to a safe space where he knew he was going to survive. After a minute or two, when everything was calmer, he decided to go inside. After all, he was on the Stark tower balcony.

He managed to get in where all lights were off. He threw his mask in the kitchen counter and went to the elevator. He knew where he could find what will make him feel better. When he got to the lab, the first thing he saw was him looking at a hologram with a cup of coffee. Tony. A few seconds passed before Tony realized that he was being watched. He turned around and there was his spiderkid in his spider suit. He looked like he saw a ghost. And his spider suit was covered in blood?

“Peter? What are you- Are you ok?” Tony got closer to him and started looking for a wound. Nothing. But if there was nothing- “Peter who’s blood is that?” Peter took a moment to answer

“I-I didn’t save him Mr. Stark” Then Tony’s eyes widened when he realized what was going through the kid’s mind

“Oh kid” Tony said as he hugged Peter who started crying on Tony’s shoulder. Tony hated when this stuff happened. The kid always made sure everyone was ok but when there was nothing else to do, he was really hard on himself thinking that he could’ve done more, but even if it was true it was never his fault that it happened on the first . And Tony hated that Peter thought it was. After Peter told everything that happened to him, Tony realized that he had to make a major safety update to Peter’s suit. Also had one of the shittiest days ever “This is what we are gonna do. Go to your room and get cleaned up. You’ll stay the night here ok?” Peter then cleans his nose with his arm as if he was a little kid

“I need to call May” Peter says and Tony sights and shakes his head

“Don’t worry about that Spidey. I will call her” Peter then nodded and they both got in the elevator. When they got to the living room and Peter went to his room, Tony got his phone out. He called May Parker but she didn't answer “Shit” Tony murmured for himself. He really didn’t want to call his ‘plan b’, but unluckily for Tony, he had no options left. So he called the man. And he answered. That’s new

“Hello?” Ben said and Tony sighted

“Mr. Parker. Hi. I hope I am not disturbing anything. It is kinda late” Tony said trying to not hang up. This was a stupid idea. Ben hated the man with his entire soul and Tony really wished that it wasn’t like that. For the sake of Peter

“I hope you are calling because of Peter” Ben said immediately with that disapproval tone that he always gave to Tony

“Yeah. He went-” This was the moment where Tony always hesitated. It was like a contest show called ‘What lie are we gonna tell the Parkers because their niece is Spiderman?’ and Tony was already winning every first place there. With May was easier because she knew about their father-son mentor-mentee relationship. But Ben barely knew about the internship “Peter was in a party and showed up at the tower. He said it was closer from where he was. He is staying in the Tower tonight. Thought you needed to know” Ben sighted

“Thanks. We’ve been so worried. He hasn’t been answering his phone at all and we got worried” Tony could feel how he just got Peter in more trouble

“Mr. Parker please don’t take this the wrong way, but Peter is an amazing kid. Don’t be to hard on him just for being a teenager” Tony said trying to fix what he just did

“Are you trying to tell me how to raise my kid, Stark?” Ben asked and Tony just sighted. No I am asking you to be reasonable you asshole

“No I- I am sorry if I gave you that idea-” Before Tony could say anything else, Ben hung up on him. Then he went to Peter’s room “Pete, I-” He shot up. Peter was asleep in his Thor pajamas. He just turned the lights off and then went to his room. He sat on his side of the bed next to Pepper who was also sleeping. He looked at her and then kissed her cheek. Then he lay down on his bed next to her until he fell asleep.

He fucked up so bad

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underabr0kensky · 7 years ago

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BIGGEST GODDAMN SURVEY EVER HOLY SHIT

1- How are you? Content I suppose.

2- Post a picture of yourself. I did yesterday you fuck, go look.

3- Do you ever wish you were someone else? Nah, I’d probably still be messed up as anyone else.

4- What is your entire name? Conner Wade Garcia.

5- How old are you? 24.

6- Age you get mistaken for: I’ve been mistaken for like 19.

7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality: Libra, and yeah, the stuff I see is usually fairly accurate.

8- What did you do on your last birthday? Worked, and then slept.

9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday? Uhh...maybe quit drinking?

10- What is your hair color? Dark brown.

11- Have you ever dyed your hair? I had a rat tail when I was like 12 that I dyed blonde.

12- What is your eye color? Hazel, sometimes gray.

13- If you could change your eye color, would you? I’d make them perma-gray.

14- Do you wear contacts/glasses? Yep, I’m fucking blind without my contacts.

15- Your opinion about your body and how confortable you are with it: Meh. It needs work. Fucking pudgy belly.

16- Have you ever considered plastic surgery? What would you alter about your body? Nope.

17- Say 8 facts about your body: That’s a lot, so I’ll say one: I have two scars on my right hand in almost the same place.

18- Do you have any tattoos? Not yet.

19- Do you have any piercings? Nope.

20- Left or right handed? I am a righty, not a subhuman Morlock freak witch person.

21- What’s your sexual orientation? Straight.

22- Do you drink? Yeah, more than I should.

23- Do you smoke? No.

24- Do you have any pets? I wish. I want a kitteh.

25- Where do you work? I don’t right now. I worked at Walmart til like a month ago.

26- Something you are working on right now: Cutting back on my drinking.

27- Do you have any “rules” about food? Nah, but there are some foods I just can’t stand.

28- Where are you from? Tennessee. Ew.

29- What would you say is your best quality? Uhh. I’m good at listening.

30- What do you think you’re really good at? Guitar.

31- What do you think you’re really bad at? Staying sober.

32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with? I’d be happy with not having been born with depression.

33- Are you a bad person? Well I mean I think I kind of suck, but everyone says I’m awesome.

34- Are you nice to everyone? I try to be.

35- Say 3 facts about your personality: I have a temper, I like to listen, and I doubt myself a lot.

36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Yeah lol.

37- What is your ideal bed? Why? A king bed with a curtain around it, because fuck anyone staring at me sleeping. Unless it’s my girlfriend.

38- Did you wake up cranky? Depends on how early I get up.

39- Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? Sometimes.

40- What do you think about the most? My mind is too all over the place for that.

41- Share 2 habits: Drinking and nail-biting.

42- What you want to be when you “get older”? Financially stable bruh.

43- What are your career goals? To not live paycheck to paycheck. And maybe to not hate my job.

44- What is your ideal career? Musician.

45- Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Fucking fuck no.

46- Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Oh yeah, that’s like 98% of my day.

47- Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Yeah, I have.

48- Say 10 facts about your room: I’m not gonna listen ten, but I have a bunch of band/music posters, there’s an electric drum kit in the corner, there are lots of dragon statues, there’s an Arcueid figure (Tsukihime for anyone who gets that), uhh...Borderlands 2 is paused on my TV right now. And there are many guitars.

49- Do you have any phobias? Spiders, needles, and fucking tornadoes.

50- Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yeah, both of them. The therapist stopped practicing which sucked and the psychiatrist was a Godfagging quack.

51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what? Pollen, rabbits, pork, artificial green apple, cat dandruff, and goldenrod. And amoxicillin.

52- Ever broken any bones? Nope, and I have no idea how.

53- Ever come close to death? Yeah, a couple of times.

54- Things you like and dislike about yourself: Uhh. I like my looks for the most part and my musical talent. Hate pretty much everything else lol.

55- A random fact about yourself: I can curl my tongue. Helps me play the harmonica.

56- What are three things most people don’t know about you? I’ve kissed a guy before, I cry a lot for a guy (or for a person, probably), and I like anime a lot. Specifically stupid slice of life shit and shonen.

57- An unknown fact about your life: Uhh. My stupid fucking taskbar can’t be right clicked. I hate Windows 10.

58- Share something about yourself others might think is weird: I like being choked and slapped in bed.

59- Five weird things that you like: Fried calimari, pineapple on pizza, Wendy’s fries dipped in their chocolate shake (thanks Jess), classical music, and getting drunk outside.

60- Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this? Yes. And nobody sent me this, I just fill these out as surveys because nobody fucking responds if I just reblog it.

61- Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah, but they’re not recent. I’m not really active on there anymore.

62- Describe yourself in one word/sentence: Fucked up.

63- A quote you try to live by: “I choose to live rather than just exist” comes the closest, but I’m doing a terrible job of that lol.

64- Leave me a compliment: Uhh. Anyone who reads this, you’re pretty.

Favorites

65- What is your favorite thing to do? Play guitar or listen to music. Or, lately, play Borderlands 2. The DLC is poppin’, yo.

66- What’s your favorite color? Black.

67- What’s your favorite band/singer? Favorite band is Children of Bodom. Favorite singers are James Hetfield, Marc Hudson, Howard Jones, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Elvis Presley, Anders Fridén, Matt Heafy, Warrel Dane, Amy Lee, probably others I’ve forgotten.

68- What’s your favorite movie? That’s hard. Goodfellas, the Godfather Part I and II, 300, both Avengers movies, Captain America: Civil War, Titanic, Hesher, and Good Will Hunting are some of my favorites.

69- What are your favorite books? The Wheel of Time series, Bag of Bones, the Harry Potter series, The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, Penpal, Shout!: The Beatles in Their Generation, A Painted House, Jurassic Park, Black Lightning, shit I have a lot more.

70- What is your favorite quote and why? The above quote, because it represents what I wish I could actually do. But ya know. Money.

71- What is your favorite word? Fuck.

72- What is your least favorite word? Money.

73- What is your favorite type of food? Italian food motherfucker. Specifically lasagna.

74- Your favorite ice cream? Heath bar.

75- What’s your favorite animal? KITTEH.

76- Dogs or cats? KITTEHS.

77- Describe your favourite texture: Uhh. Those really soft silky-feeling blankets.

78- What is your favorite flower? A BLACK ROSE EHHHH SO EDGY. Probably daffodils.

79- What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex? The smell right before or after it rains. And on the opposite sex, whatever perfume they like.

80- What is your favorite season? Spring.

81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die? Venice, Berlin, Scotland, Norway, and that weird island with the dragon fruit and flat freaky trees that I’ve forgotten the name of and am too lazy to Google.

82- What are four things you can’t live without and why? Internet, phone, music, and cute animals. Because they keep me from fucking murdering myself.

83- Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? I have no idea but I’m gonna take a quiz right now, brb. Apparently I’m a goddamn unicorn, fuck.

84- What’s your favorite television show? House M.D.

85- Favorite place to shop at? Walmart. Fuck shopping bruh.

86- Say 2 facts about your favorite things: Uhh. One has strings and one lives in Germany.

Family, childhood and places

87- Say 4 facts about your parents: My dad is Spanish, my mom has depression, they divorced when I was like 11, and my dad is a medical professional.

88- Are you more like your mom or your dad? I think I’m like. Exactly equal to both of them. It’s frustrating.

89- Do you have any siblings? An older half brother, two younger step siblings, and two younger half brothers.

90- Say 9 facts about your family: That’s too many facts, die. My family is really big though and my dad’s side can speak Spanish.

91- What’s your relationship like with your family? Meh. Not great with my dad, my mom and I are fine though.

92- Say 7 facts about your childhood: There was a lot of stress and emotional abuse and shit. But it was also a better childhood than most people I think.

93- The best and the worst childhood memories: one of my favorites was when I got a PS1 for my birthday. Worst, I have no idea. Whenever my parents fought, which was a lot.

94- Say 6 facts about your home town: It’s tiny, it’s full of rednecks with fucking F10000 penis substitutes, it has a pretty chill as county fair. I know that’s only 4, fuck off.

95- Are you going out of town soon? Nah, I doubt it.

96- Where would you like to live? If I had to stay in America, California. If I could leave, I dunno, probably Norway or Sweden. Somewhere in Europe definitely.

97- What would your dream house be like? Victorian style please.

98- Where would you go on your dream vacation? Italy. I’d get banned from the country for eating all their food.

99- Where you want to be right now? With my girlfriend, or at a beach somewhere.

100- Top three places to visit: Venice, Berlin, Spain.

Friends

101- Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yeah, I do sometimes.

102- Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Girls. Most of the guys around here act like douches and only ever talk about sports or fucking girls.

103- Who is someone you never tire of? My girlfriend.

104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? There are a couple of people.

105- Who is your most loyal friend? Phil.

106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Mhmm. Three people.

107- If your best friend died, what would you do? Get horrendously drunk for days on end and snap at everyone.

108- A reason you’ve lied to a friend: No idea. Probably because I didn’t want to leave my house or something, lol.

109- Have you ever felt replaced? Yeah, sometimes.

110- Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s): Too many facts. But he is a drummer and he likes roleplaying games.

Relationships

111- The last person you hugged? Not a fucking clue. Sasha I think.

112- Who was your first kiss with? Girl named Jessica. It was in the garden section at Walmart lol.

113- Do you like kissing in public? I fucking love it.

114- Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah, plenty of times.

115- You have a preference for boys or girls? Girls pls.

116- Is the male or female body closest to perfection? I don’t think anything or anyone is perfect, but I prefer the female body.

117- Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah.

118- Do you believe in soul mates? Maybe. I didn’t used to but now I kinda do.

119- What is your idea of the perfect date? I don’t really care honestly. Just something cute and romantic.

120- Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend: I like someone who I can talk to and not get bored of, someone who can keep up with my weird thought processes, and someone who doesn’t mind me being a kinky fuck.

121- What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Eyes or face in general, usually. Unless they’re wearing a crazy outfit or something.

122- Are looks important in a relationship? Yeah. They’re not the most important thing but I have to be attracted to someone.

123- What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? There’s not really an external characteristic someone needs to have for me to like them, but I love red hair.

124- What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? No biggie as long as it’s not like a 26 year old dating a 13 year old or something. My ex and I were five years apart.

125- Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? Hahaha. The only two serious relationships I’ve had were on the Internet.

126- Five guys/girls whom you find attractive: The girlfriend, the ex girlfriend, Emma Watson, Olivia Wilde, Mila Kunis.

127- Do you have a crush on anyone? It’s a bit more than a crush.

128- A description of the girl/boy you like: She’s hot as fuck yo. Hotter than you. :D

129- Say 1 fact about the person your like: She has facial piercings and she always loses :P

130- If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “Can I meet the body I mean person?”

131- When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I sent the girlfriend the last message lol.

132- Do you think someone has feelings for you? I know she does.

133- Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probably. Ew.

134- Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? You could say I make a habit of it.

135- Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Who hasn’t?

136- Anyone you’re giving up on? Nah. Probably should be, but nah.

137- Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yup.

138- Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yeah, the girl I dated throughout high school was kind of a cunt to my friends.

139- Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yup.

140- Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Mhmm. Scary thought haha.

141- Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes.

142- Is there someone you will never forget? Absolutely.

143- Say five ways to win your heart: Babble at me in a foreign language, cook me Italian food, introduce me to your cat, leave big ass scratches down my back, or act like a sappy romantic fuck.

144- What turns you on? Slapping, choking, hair pulling, biting, scratching, moaning, hard tongue on tongue kissing, girl on girl. I’m a guy. Eat me.

145- What turns you off? Bitchy people and close-minded bigoted fucks.

146- What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Jerk me while you whisper about fucking a girl into my ear and don’t let me cum until you say so. It has been done to me and it was fucking awesome.

147- What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Probably when I found out Jess had started a separate bank account and was funneling parts of her paychecks into it to help me financially when I moved up there. Nice job fucking that one up, Conner.

148- What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Honestly I don’t care at this point. Just love me lol.

149- Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you? Yes, and no actually.

150- What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Woke Jess up while she was clearly having a nightmare and held her hand until she calmed down.

151- Are you in love? Yes.

152- Are you in a relationship? Yes.

153- If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? She’s a fucking dork and I love it.

154- Are relationships ever worth it? Yeah, they’re just hard.

155- Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? I don’t think so.

156- Can you commit to one person? Mhmm.

157- Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yeah, I’ve done it plenty of times lol.

158- Do you ever want to get married? Yes.

159- Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Maybe. Hopefully.

160- Future names of your children: I do not want kids.

161- Do you get jealous easily? Yeah. Not like possessive jealous, but it’s pretty easy to make me jealous.

162- The last time you felt jealous, and why? I have no idea. Probably when my girlfriend hung out with her shit ex lol.

163- What is your definition of cheating? Anything you wouldn’t want your partner finding out about I suppose. I guess anything past hugging/holding hands.

164- Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

165- Do you forgive betrayal? Eh. I probably would even though I shouldn’t.

166- Have you ever cheated on someone? Not my proudest moment, but yes, I cheated to get back at her for cheating on me. It did not help.

167- Why did your last relationship fail? Because I was an asshole and I fucked it up.

168- Things you want to say to an ex: I am so sorry, it was entirely my fault, you did nothing wrong and I hope you forgive me.

169- A description of the person you dislike the most: Anyone who has dated my girlfriend. :P

170- If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? I would have no idea wtf she’s apologizing for, but yeah of course.

171- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Not a clue honestly. A good many, but most of them haven’t been serious.

172- How long was your longest relationship? Almost 5 years.

173- You’ll love me if… You like musicians I guess?

174- Share a relationship story: Lol okay. So when I went to visit Jess, we went out for dinner with her roommate and her roommate’s boyfriend. And they all went to a super Christian private college. We were trying to keep our relationship sort of on the DL because the school was very gossip-y and Jess grew up in a town of like 700 people and her parents were ridiculous about her dating, much less dating a dude five years older that she met online. But anyway. We finished eating and we were all shooting the shit, and when we got up to take the dishes over to the little conveyor belt thing Jess and I kinda play-wrestled and I knocked a plate on her arm. And she was like “Look you made a mess on my hand” and without even thinking I said “Yeah, that’s what I do” without troubling to keep my voice down and winked like a dumbass. And she turned redder than a tomato and her roommate got this “OMFG” look on her face and Jess punched the shit out of my shoulder hahaha. Ahh. Good memories.

Music, movies and books

175- How often do you listen to music? Pretty much whenever I’m not watching a movie or playing a game.

176- What kind of music you like? I am a metalhead but I like everything.

177- Do you like to dance? I like to mosh.

178- What was the first concert/show you attended? Killswitch Engage with Parkway Drive, Escape Plan and Every Time I Die.

179- Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yeah.

180- Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past: “Hello” by Adele. Shit was always on the pop station that my ex and I listened to in SD.

181- A song that’s been stuck in your head: “Hoshi no Furumachi” by The Fallen Moon.

182- Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play: Oh fuck off, fine. 1. Your Love Kills Me--The Veer Union 2. Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby--The Beatles 3. Baptism -strings ver.-: Fate/Stay Night OST 4. Bang Bang--Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj 5. What is Eternal--Trans-Siberian Orchestra 6. Big Girls Don’t Cry--Fergie 7. Space Room--Bruce Faulconer 8. The Gun Show--In This Moment 9. Shit Out of Luck--Foamy the Squirrel 10. Blaze Heatnix--Megaman X6 OST

183- A book you want to read/have recently read: I wanna finish reading Bazaar of Bad Dreams.

184- Describe your dream library: Just fucking packed with horror and fantasy and drama books. And biographies.

185- Last movie you just watched: Uhh...Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings.

186- Do you like watching what type of movies? I love horror.

Situations and crazy things

187- You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done? 7-star Dragon Ball on my shoulder.

189- What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for? Pirating too much shit. :P

190- If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be? I wouldn’t. Becoming someone else would be shitty.

191- You’re given $10,000…under one condition:you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to? My girlfriend probably. Then she could afford a plane ticket :P

192- If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? Don’t ask me that, I’ll get sad.

193- If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why? Polonium. Because it sounds cool.

194- If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2016. It was shit.

195- You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy? Give me a badass sword. And I dunno, probably “I’ve got balls of steel”

196- If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like? Some bullshit crazy roller coaster that has a 1 in 10 chance of killing you.

197- What is the first curse word that comes to mind? FUCK.

198- What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be… Fuck parties.

199- Halloween costume idea? I was gonna be a Kroger bag for Halloween when I worked at Walmart.

200- What are you supposed to be doing right now? Nothing. I am ethereal.

201- Currently wanting to see anyone? Yes, always.

202- Why you follow me? I can’t, you’re a survey.

203- If you met me what would you do? Wonder how a survey was walking around.

204- Leave me a ridiculous question: Why are you so interested in me?

205- Leave me a cute message: Fluffy cats.

Opinions and beliefs

206- Is the cup half full or half empty for you right now? There is no cup. I smashed it.

207- Do you believe in fate/destiny? Nah.

208- What you wish for on 11:11? Happiness.

209- Do you consider yourself lucky? What’s your good luck charm? Fuck no lol.

210- Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Yeah, there’s no way we’re alone in this fuck huge universe.

211- What is your religion, if any? I am not religious.

212- Would you go against your moral code for money? Depends on which part of the moral code and the amount of money.

213- What’s more important to you:strength of the body or strength of the mind? Gimme dem moosels.

214- How important you think education is? If it’s a good education, very important, but the shit that passes for education in America is less important than deciding what kind of toilet paper to buy.

215- If you were the president, what would you do? Die of the anxiety and stress during my inauguration.

216- If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Money wouldn’t have turned everyone into a greedy cunt.

217- Is it the thought that counts? Or is that phrase circumstantial? Eh. Depends on the situation. Somebody with no medical training trying to save somebody who was injured and instead ends up accidentally killing them should have just kept their thoughts to themselves.

218- If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Buy a plane ticket to Berlin.

219- Which movie character do you most identify with and why? Greg House. Because depression and alcoholism suck.

Feelings and Others

220- Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? I procrastinate procrastination.

221- Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance: That is not happening, I am lazy.

222- Say 5 things you love unconditionally: The girlfriend, music, food, the Internet, and kittehs.

223- What motivates you in life? My girlfriend. Seriously if I hadn’t found her I’d be a puddle of vaguely human-shaped sadness on the ground.

224- Something that you’re proud of: I can play guitar.

225- Five words/phrases that make you laugh: “Look at this fucking bird making pasta. Just look at it for fuck’s sake”

226- Share the story of something that makes you smile: Watching all of the “Will it [insert food here]?” videos from GoodMythicalMorning with Jess. Fun nights.

227- Something you always think “what if…” about: You probably know the answer lol.

228- What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that? LotR. Because I watched them with Jess and now they just make me sad, stop making me think about this shit.

229- Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life: When I tried to dance with my crush in like 3rd grade and had no idea wtf I was doing lmao.

230- Something/someone that you miss: THE GIRLFRIEND. WAKE YO ASS UP.

231- Are you over your past? Not entirely.

232- What is your saddest memory? When she broke up with me, what the fuck did I JUST say.

233- One of the hardest moments in your life: Holy fuck you’re doing this on purpose.

234- Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? YEAH. AS A MATTER OF FUCKING FACT THERE IS.

235- What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about? I wanna go to a vocaloid concert.

236- What was your most embarrassing moment? Fuck if I know. I embarrass myself a lot.

237- Share one of your fears/insecurities: I hate my nasty pudgy belly.

238- Something you’re currently worrying about: Getting a fucking job.

239- Have you done something you regret very much? Yes.

240- If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be? I would take back what an asshole I was.

241- Does anyone hate you? Probably.

#personal #survey #about me #this fucking thing was huge #i did it over the course of like 3 days

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