#which results in the boar being drawn with the wrong ears at first

[grasstimes]

I’m sure this is normal. Go my me and four other sonas

[maedarakat]

Beards

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(Set during HTTYD 3, post-wedding celebration. Tuff/Eret fluff.)

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“He’s alone now, go! There's your chance,” the voice whispered in his ear.

A hand nudged Eret sharply from the dark, fingers poking into the small of his back and ushering him forward through the swirling crowd of wedding goers and foreign guests.

Heart racing, Eret nodded respectfully at a smiling red-haired king with a scarred face, who was excitedly talking to Hiccup. He passed them, eyes on the thin blond figure ahead, who was making his way toward the feast table, long braids swinging across his back.

Just the way he walked gave Eret a rush of something that made his pulse quicken, and he hastened his stride until he'd caught up with Tuffnut - finally catching the man without a companion’s face shoved against his chest.

“Tuffnut Thorston! I was hoping you and I might take a walk together.”

Good, good - that was smooth. Gobber had told him to just be himself and he, Eret son of Eret, was one smooth son of a-

“Okay, well, we are walking together.”

Eret floundered, caught off guard. "Right, of course." Before he could steer the conversation further, Tuffnut’s leisurely gait stopped suddenly at the banquet table, which was groaning under the weight of so much food.

Pies of all kinds were laid out, as well as roasted meats, fruits, breads and cheeses, and even some yak parfait. “And now we are here! Thank Loki, I thought I wasn’t going to get to eat until after my best man speech.”

Eret made a small noise of frustration but it was drowned out by someone - probably that Gustav kid - setting off firecrackers somewhere. “Actually I was hoping for a much longer walk. Somewhere else. Just you and me, and far fewer people.”

Oh no. That had sounded creepy. Eret struggled to find a better way to phrase that, but his companion only shrugged, loading up his plate.

"Okay, whatever. But I’m bringing my food. Seriously I’m starving.”

“What? When have you last eaten?” Eret asked automatically and damn it he was fussing wasn’t he.

“Not since this morning. Astrid needed help with her hair and nails, and then I had to go hunt down a few boars for the feast because . . . Well, it’s really taking some getting used to, not having dragons to hunt with, you know. Certainly not as fast.”

Eret’s heart was fluttering. Of course Tuff was the kind of boy who could do manicures one minute and then turn around to gut a boar or two the next.

“No, I imagine not. I would have loved to help.”

“Huh. I figured you’d be busy avoiding all the women chasing after you - especially now, Mr. Bouquet-Catcher. Tsk, you didn’t even wait for Astrid to throw it.”

“I . . . Well, I . . ."

Oh no, he was getting flustered. Eret didn't know why he could never seem to avoid getting tongue tied around Tuffnut Thorston, but here he was yet again - just completely incapable of stringing together a worthy response.

He couldn’t get flustered, because then Tuff would move on and he’d lose his chance. Catching the bouquet had been an omen - so Gobber had insisted - that this time, for sure, he was going to get Tuffnut’s attention.

When in doubt, compliment him, Gobber had advised, not two hours earlier. Just make yourself say something, even if it's not perfect at least it can be honest. That boy is a strange one; I doubt you could bother him if you tried.

“Well, I didn’t quite mean to catch it - I was just too distracted by the sight of your handsome face,” Eret plunged ahead, just blurting out the first thing that came to his mind.

. . . And hopefully Tuff’s gobsmacked expression meant something good?

He stopped eating the cherry pie with his fingers, some of it nearly falling out of his mouth as grey eyes widened slowly and eyebrows climbed heavenwards.

Eret grinned as charmingly as he could muster, determined not to back out now that he had put his foot in it.

"Any chance we could take that walk now?"

Tuff's answer was to put down his food and grab Eret’s arm, dragging him off further away from people and towards the trees, until the sounds of music and laughter were muffled by the great pines.

Yes, this was a good thing! Right?

Tuff stopped them both, and turned to face Eret, looking reproachful. “Dude, you can’t just say stuff like that to me in front of everyone! Do you not see this?” He picked up the braid woven beneath his chin, shaking it like a talisman. “Clear indication that I don’t want any attention drawn to my preferences.”

Eret blinked.

"So how did you figure me out?" Tuff pressed, his tone now anxious. "Did I say something weird? Was it the way I walked?"

“. . . What? No, you haven't -" Eret's words failed him yet again, brain trying to process what Tuff's makeshift beard had to do with anything. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand?"

Tuff opened his mouth then stopped himself and smacked his forehead. “Oh, right. You’re probably not familiar with the whole . . . oh, wow. Yeah, I’m sorry this is my bad, Eret - but fear not - I will explain.”

“Again - what?”

“Well, now you’re completely lost, of course. See, up here in the Archipela-hood, when a guy likes other guys, certain people may not exactly consider them acceptable. So it becomes necessary - for said guy-liking . . . guy - to ‘have a beard’ .”

Tuff said this last part meaningfully, using his fingers as air quotes.

The penny didn’t take long to drop, but when it did, Eret’s jaw dropped open after it. He had no words.

Tuffnut, however, still had plenty - and went on explaining.

“See, the way I've heard it - if you have a beard, people are less likely to suspect you of liking other guys. I mean, I don’t exactly get why it has to be a beard. It must be a girl-liking guy thing, thinking that having a beard is such a piece-de-resistance to the females that there’s no possible way you’re actually someone who likes guys instead. I don't know, I apparently don't make the rules and usually wouldn't follow them even if I did. But anyway, that's why I have this nice full beard."

Eret fought hard against the urge to rub his temples.

“Did - Did someone tell you all this . . . ‘helpful’ information? About beards?"

Tuff laughed and shook his head.

“Mm-mmm, nope. I didn’t ask - you never just ask about this kind of stuff, around here. Everything I’ve learned about ‘blending in’” - again with the air quotes - “came from the time-honored tradition of eavesdropping at the Northern Market men’s outhouses."

Oh, he looked so endearingly proud of himself. How was it possible to be so smart and yet so naive about the world? It made Eret want to punch anyone who looked at Tuff sideways, which was rather unhelpful.

Eret sighed, figuring he'd better set this particular record straight.

"That’s . . . not actually what is meant by ‘having a beard’, Tuffnut. In this context, I mean. Having a ‘beard’ means to have a girlfriend, who is not really your girlfriend. Just a girl who pretends to date you, so that you’re above suspicion.”

"Wha- what? But I heard them . . . I mean, I thought I did."

Tuff went quiet, thinking back and nose slightly scrunched up in thought. After a moment of playing back the remembered conversation in his head, he seemed to crumple.

Then - face turning red - he muttered a soft, humiliated, “Oh.”

Eret immediately wanted to hug him.

“Don’t worry that you got it wrong. Not like you could ask for clarification, right? I don't imagine a place like the Northern Markets is teeming with good-hearted men."

Tuffnut bit his lip, fingers unweaving the braids beneath his chin. “Well, h-how did you find out about this kind of stuff? Nobody seems to think you like guys. I mean, I was surprised. How have you kept others from finding out?”

Eret felt rather than heard the note of hopeful desperate fear in Tuff’s voice.

“Are you afraid of someone in particular finding out, or just everyone in general?” the former trapper asked carefully.

It took a while for Tuff to answer, but by the time he did, long uneven strands of his hair - his former beard - were hanging down in front of his shoulders, catching the rays of the red setting sun, and glimmering like embers.

There was a despondent look in his silver eyes that truly pained Eret, like more than just a braid was becoming unraveled.

“My friends wouldn’t care, and my sister knows but . . . I’m afraid of proving my family right about everything. They’ve always said something was wrong with me.” Tuff’s voice caught raggedly on the last word.

"So maybe it’s this, and they probably know already, and I’ve just been making an even bigger fool of myself by trying to hide anything."

Tuff's eyes were wet. Eret stepped forward without thinking, arms open, and felt ridiculously relieved when Tuffnut didn’t back away. At first he held still in the embrace, but within a moment he'd melted forward, hugging Eret back tightly.

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Tuff was quiet, though Eret could easily feel the tension in his jaw and neck and the cautious stiffness with which he hugged back. He could also feel Tuff frantically swallowing any and all evidence of any tears - any possible sign of weakness that might result in rejection.

This wasn't his personality. This reaction had been trained into him.

“If it helps,” Eret said hesitantly, “Know that my family was not the most accepting type either. I remember too well how it feels, trying over and over to impress people who are supposed to love you regardless. Who don’t seem to know you, or to even want to get to know you.”

The words were difficult to say, but they needed said. “Finding out I liked men was terrifying at first. I had to hide it from everyone. I didn’t feel safe, not even with my closest friends. Not out of any fear they’d be malicious, but what if they spoke carelessly around my father? Around people who knew my father?”

Tuff drew in a shaking breath and nodded against Eret’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t be their hides on the line,” he mumbled thickly in agreement.

“Right. Eventually, it went from being terrifying to just . . . lonely.“

There was no response to that, but Tuffnut hitched and swallowed hard, curling down in his arms a little.

Eret made an attempt at a soothing noise, absently stroking Tuff’s hair. The red gleams of gold were fading as dusk cast the forest snow around them into deep pink shadows, though he was no less beautiful in Eret’s vision.

The wedding party's music had reached new heights, accompanied by a raucous drone of loud, drunk Vikings chanting lyrics back to whatever minstrel they’d employed for the night. It was cathartic and a bit surreal, and weirdly perfect.

“Thank you,” Tuff murmured, lifting his face. “I . . . I actually feel a lot less lonely now.”

His own heart was pounding, but Eret nodded. He still held onto Tuff, not really wanting to let go. He would though, as soon as Tuff wanted him to.

“If you ever want to talk again, I’ll be around. Carrying something heavy, most likely,” Eret offered, feeling lame. He wanted to do so much more.

Tuff looked up at him and then gasped, face lighting up in a sudden grin that made Eret's heart pound.

"Oh my Loki, wait a minute, were you - were you trying to - was that for me? All that heavy lifting?”

Eret felt a strange mixture of sheepish and proud. “Well, not all of it - some things did actually need carried. We moved an entire village not three months ago.”

“But you lifted Gobber’s entire wagon like seven times in the past week, just to move it two feet further away each and every time that I walked through the clearing - oh my Loki!“

Tuffnut covered his face, which was slowly resembling an apple. “You . . . you giant adorable moose.”

Weird pet name, but Eret was not about to complain, not when Tuffnut suddenly pounced back into his arms, kissing him.

It was a quick hard kiss, tasting of honey and stolen berry tarts, and Eret swore he would never forget that taste.

Tuff pulled back almost immediately, body tense and hands cautiously lingering over Eret's biceps, but all Eret could seem to do was grin lopsidedly.

He gained his wits enough to return the kiss with plenty of heated interest, until finally Tuff pulled back to look at him and catch his breath.

"I never thought anybody in the entire world would flirt with me,” he managed breathlessly.

“Well, get used to it. From me, that is.”

Right, being smooth. So very smooth.

Tuff laughed and relaxed against him, apparently immensely reassured. He kissed Eret again, this time on the nose.

“We-We have to go back. To the wedding. I have a Chieftain to embarrass with a speech, and a Chieftess to make punch me, or at least chase me around a few tables with her axe.”

Well, he sounded much better - more like his usual self. Probably needed to process a few things,to do not that he could blame him.

Eret couldn’t seem to stop grinning, feeling immeasurably happy and proud of himself.

“Do you want to go for another walk later?” Tuff was asking, and the former trapper nodded, belatedly remembering to let go of Tuff's waist.

“Sure,” Eret shrugged, as though his heart wasn’t doing absolute cartwheels in his chest.

They walked together back to the crowded areas, Tuff giving his hand a squeeze before slipping into the throng of villagers and disappearing to go do his particular brand of friendly wedding mischief.

Eret watched him go fondly, trailing not too far behind.