#which resulted in a lot of bad times and destroying myself for love

[lovethisfatcryptid]

My life is so full of love and good people. I'm good at picking friends and lovers. Good job, me.

[goldsainz]

HIS LUCKY CHARM — one shot.

pairing: lando norris x reader

MASTERLIST.

summary: lando is disappointed you can’t make it to his home race, only to be surprised at the end.

request: “Hi! Could you write something about Lando and reader when she surprise him on race day. Lando is sad when she told can't do this on his home race bc something important with her work but after all she appears on Sunday on track. He is more than happy with that and archive good resolut be she is his lucky charm”

warnings: teeny tiny bit of angst, a probably not accurate depiction of the garage

NOTE: WHAT A RACE!! loved the lando+lewis podium, also oscar was great 🫶 anyway, to celebrate have this little thing, thank you sm for requesting bc this inspired me a lot (you kinda manifested the good result???) i added a shameless cameo in there, i just couldnt help myself! (the ending is rushed, ignore it😁)

[ word count: 2,2k ]

“I’m so sorry, Lando.” Is what you say to your boyfriend when you have to break the bad news to him.

“It’s okay.” His face breaks into a broken smile, with glossy eyes he holds your hands and brushes his thumbs up and down your palms.

“I’ll still tune in.” 

“I know.”

“I’ll be rooting for you.” 

“I know.”

You take your hands from his hold, and place them around his neck. You watch as his right posture lightly relaxes at your touch. 

“I don’t wanna miss it. You know I don’t.” 

You wish your job wasn’t as demanding as it was, that it didn’t make you fly to another country in the middle of your boyfriend’s home Grand Prix. But it does. And you’re not sure how to handle the emotional stress it inflicts on you both, and you sure hope it doesn’t affect him in a way that will mess up his race.

“And if I could make it, I would.” 

“It’s alright. It’s your job, I know it’s not your fault.” Even though Lando’s words seem reassuring, and he means them with his whole heart; you still feel guilty. 

With that, he stands up and makes his way to the kitchen of your shared apartment. You watch him leave, and with a heavy heart start to pack whatever stuff you need for your trip. It destroys you to see him sad so close to his home race, a time where he should be joyous, only worried about the car and nothing more. 

You’re not sure how you’re going to make it up to him, but you will.

Somehow.

You were being a little secretive, and you were sure Lando definitely noticed. 

Your boss and you had managed to come to an arrangement which allowed you to be present for the race. It would all be very tight in timing, but nothing that couldn’t be accomplished. It involved a lot of overworking the days before, but it was very much worth it.

You could already imagine the face Lando would make when he finally saw you. Whether he got a good result or not, there was no doubt you wanted to be there with him. 

It took a lot of care for you to arrive at the paddock almost incognito, with fans already speculating why you weren't at his home race. Thankfully no break-up rumours had surfaced, but there were a couple hurtful ones that made you want to be present even more. 

But you knew that no matter how much Lando acted like he was oblivious to what happened around him, his silly act was simply that; an act. You didn't like keeping secrets from him, it felt wrong to have to blatantly lie to him whilst everyone around him knew something he didn't. Still, it would all work out in the end.

Lando’s family had been so happy to see you in the paddock. His grandma (who adored you) hugged you as tightly as she could, quickly bidding you goodbye when you told her you had to go to the garage quickly to get prepared for the race. 

There was no doubt that the tingly feeling of nerves creeped up on you the moment you spotted all the engineers and people moving around, getting everything that needed to be set up wrapped up so the race could go smoothly. Zak was already at the pit wall, and Lando was sitting in his car ready for the formation lap to begin. 

At the garage you spotted Florence Pugh, who had a McLaren headset on. You had seen her on the paddock, but wasn't aware of the fact that she had come to the race invited by McLaren. You tried not to freak out, you saw celebrities almost everywhere when you came to races or went out with Lando. Still, the actress had a special place in your heart.

It took a little of hyping yourself up, and confidence to walk up to her, but you did. You would be sharing the garage for an hour and a half, the least you could do is socialise a little. 

“Hi! I’m Y/N.” You said to Florence watching her turn around with a smile on her face.

“Hello!” She says, greeting you like you were an old friend. “I’m Florence”

“You’re a McLaren fan?” 

“Honestly, I’m more of a Lewis fan.” She said with a laugh, keeping ehr voice just loud enough so you could hear her.

“I get that. I mean, who isn’t?” 

The conversation flowed for a little more until the race was about to start. You excused yourself and moved to an area closer to the screen, where you could watch Lando close-up. You loved being in the garage because of the different screens and the attention to their drivers, that allowed you to experience the race in different ways.

Your headset was adjusted and you were awaiting the moment where David Croft would say it’s lights out. Your knee was slightly bouncing, but you tried your best to contain the nerves. 

“It lights out and away we go!” Exclaims David Croft, his voice echoing through the garage.

You watch as Lando has a great start, and it takes about a second for him to take the lead. You hear the roar of the crowd before you can even react.

“Yes! Go Lando!” You scream, your voice doesn't make anyone flinch because everyone around you has the same reaction. It is a sight to behold, a moment you are more than grateful to see live. 

“I can’t believe it.” Someone next to you says, and you can't help but smile. 

It is no secret how badly the season started for McLaaren. You watched Lando’s smile waver more than once, his faith in the team never wavering, but still. He was rightfully let down by the performance of the adr,a dn you had to reassure him multiple times that it wasn't his fault. Because he was doing the best that he could with what he had. 

So now, seeing him get to this moment, is absolutely deserved.

A couple of laps go by and Max takes the lead for your boyfriend. There is disappointment in the atmosphere, but everyone knows that P2 is a miracle and that Lando is doing absolutely great work out there. They all know how great it would be to have him finish in that position, especially since Oscar is P3. 

Getting a podium in Silverstone would mean the world to Lando, Which is why you're worried about what will happen when they pit. Whatever strategy they choose will determine if Lando gets podium or not, and you will not pretend to really know what happens or how they come up with strategies, but you hope that they dont mess up his race because of wrong timing or choose the wrong tyres. 

As you watch his car race, you suddenly see on the screen that one of the Haas cars has come to a halt. A safety car is deployed, which means a couple of cars will choose to change tyres. The whole garage groans when Lewis’s car comes out in front of Oscar’s after he pits, now challenging Lando’s position.

It’s like you can’t breathe between those laps that Lando and Lewis battle for P2. Everyone is at the edge of their seats watching them race against the other, and you hope that this doesn't end up running both their races. The last thing anyone wants is for them to crash, because going from that position to a DNF would result in disappointment for everyone involved.

“Come on, Lando! Come on!” You scream, your palms intertwined in front of you as you watch him fight for his position. 

Thankfully, Lando manages to maintain his standing and leaves Lewis behind him for good. The hard compound tyres he was pitted for are giving him a tough time, you know that it is not ideal. Not when he could've lost his position, but with just 10 laps to go your faith in him is over the roof. 

You’re on twitter, refreshing your timeline to see if there is anything you missed. The fans are so enthusiastic, their comments make you smile. Even if there are people out there who don't like Lando, there are even more who love him and want nothing but the best for him. 

You watch as Florence is escorted out of the garage since she will be waving the flag. You watch her face light up in excitement, and in all her excitement she still waves at you. You don't waste a second in waving right back at her, turning your head right after to the screens.

The moment Lando crosses the finish line the McLaren garage erupts in cheers. You hug whoever is next to you, a teary smile pulling at your lips. You cannot help the tears that fall down your face, you usually don't get that emotional during a race, but this is his home race and he is on the podium. If there is any time to cry, this is it. 

You are almost running to the barriers, waiting for the moment that Lando steps out of his car and goes to celebrate with the team. You are wearing his merch, something that will surely stand out to him, enough that in his podium haze he will spot you. 

He goes up to the team, his helmet now long gone, and that is when he sees you.

You who told him you couldn't make it, are suddenly there. 

In a flash he moves in front of you. You cannot tell him anything because in an instant he is grabbing you, squeezing you so tight he lifts you up from the ground in excitement, you giggle right in his ear and he is sure that that is the most beautiful sound he will ever hear. He is careful not to take the barrier with him, not wanting a warning from the stewards.

After a couple seconds you pull back slightly enough to see his face. Your hands waste no time in grabbing his face and placing his lips right over  yours. Lando reacts almost immediately, melting right into the kiss, the adrenaline from the race still pumping through his veins. You can hear some cameras click, and the cheer from some people, but you ignore it.

You have to pull back eventually, not because you want to, but because there is so much to say and not enough time, not to forget the fact that he has yet to go to the podium.

“I cannot believe you’re here.” He whispers right over your lips, his sticky forehead pressed against yours.

“I couldn’t miss this.” You say, watching as his lips pull into a grin.

“I was pretty cool out there, wasn't I?” You snort at his words, separating from him but his hands never leave your waist.

“Oscar was really cool.” His grip on your waist tightens, “I haven’t properly congratulated him yet, actually.”

Someone from the team says something to him, you're sure they're telling him to wrap your conversation up because he has to go up to the podium. 

“You were great out there.” You tell him, your eyes holding all the sincerity in the world. You watch his gaze soften at your words, and he places a quick peck as he finally lets you out of his hold.

“Of course I was,” You shake your head at his smugness, “My lucky charm was here.”

You cannot help the tears that well up in your eyes at the softness of his words. You know that the celebrations and compliments are not over, but for now they are. You step back a little from the barrier, seeing as he is rushed to the podium and joins his fellow drivers on the steps. 

You smile up at him, watching as he grabs the champagne. He moves it around a little and then hits it against the ground, effectively bringing back the iconic champagne spike he does whenever he is on the podium. 

Lando sprays it everywhere, and you're almost sure a little hits you. Your theory is confirmed when he is smiling widely at you, like a kid caught doing something he should but isn't the least bit sorry. You laugh at his antics, which in turn makes him smile even wider (which you're not sure how it's even possible). 

When the champagne runs out, his gaze catches yours once more. You mouth an “I love you” to him, watching from afar as he blushes. A second after he returns the sentiment, mouthing it back and blowing you a kiss.

You thank your boss in your head for letting you be here with him, because if you hadn't been here with him you would've sure felt horrible for it. 

After all, Lando needs his lucky charm with him and you're more than happy to oblige to his wishes.

[twistedtummies2]

Leona's Sadism

So, someone sent me...an EXTREMELY long Ask basically questioning why I keep saying Leona is a canonical sadist, and arguing against that fact. Rather than answer the Ask directly, I decided it was best to sort of answer in my own words, since I know I can get pretty long-winded myself. XD I should point out that when I say things like this, I'm partially exaggerating/joking. (Though only partially.) The one thing for sure we can say on that front is that Leona is certainly a canonical jerkface, which is part of why he's fun. To quote an Internet video: "He's a d*ck...but he's a NICE d*ck!" That's why I love him; he's such a colossal ass a lot of the time, but then he'll flip around and show another side, and it's fun. XD HOWEVER, I am only PARTIALLY exaggerating/joking because Leona is, in fact, at least slightly sadistic in the game. There are multiple occasions throughout his appearances in the Main Story, Vignettes, and so on where he will deliberately do things to make people miserable, make people angry, or make people scared. He ENJOYS having that kind of power over others and dangling things before them before snatching it away. He does it a lot, sometimes with comical results, sometimes more severe ones. He also clearly takes pleasure in watching others in pain during his darkest moments, such as the clear relish he showed and the mockery he exhibited when using his Unique Magic on Ruggie. That's certainly a bit more than just being, say, "mischievous," which you could argue in other instances. NOW, OF COURSE, that last example IS a very extreme one: Leona was basically having a mental breakdown at that point (which the Asker did point out, hence why I'm bringing it up), and wasn't totally in control of his emotions or actions. And he DOES seem to regret it at least a little bit in the aftermath. But the point still stands...when pushed to his limits, so to speak, Leona can be EXTREMELY cruel. It's also worth pointing out that this isn't just an inference; OTHER CHARACTERS are fully aware of this in-game. My favorite example is when Azul defends himself at one point (I think he was talking to Jamil, but my memory may be wrong here) by stating that he "doesn't take pleasure in other people's suffering, unlike Leona." Which, of course, is SUCH an ironic statement, since Azul does, in fact, do that...but there IS a key difference. Azul typically only takes pleasure in that when it benefits him in some material manner. He enjoys having power over people, too, and watching them squirm and dance and play his games...but it's specifically because he's getting something out of it that's tangible. Leona just does it because he's a jerk like that. He doesn't get anything out of turning Ruggie to sand, he doesn't get anything out of mocking Idia after ruining his costume, he doesn't get anything out of teasing Azul before destroying the contracts. He literally just ENJOYS doing stuff like that and - with the exception of Ruggie - shows neither remorse nor apology.

Leona can be cruel. And he can ENJOY it when he's cruel. That's sadism, plain and simple. It's not about inflicting physical bodily harm on others, and while it CAN mean one "gets off" on causing others misery, it doesn't necessarily HAVE to mean that: a character can be described as "sadistic" without that specific stipulation. When I say Leona is a sadist, I simply mean it in the sense that he can, in fact, show sadistic tendencies at times. He's not the only one in the cast who's like this, but he IS one of the ones where that part of his personality is a MAJOR character trait that others POINT OUT in the story and dialogue. In terms of my kinky nonsense and weirdness, I basically just take that simple fact - that Leona can be a jerk and, on some level, enjoys watching others feel bad for his own enjoyment - and take it to its natural extreme, so to speak.

I should also point out this makes perfect sense given Leona's source material. A LOT of Disney Villains clearly relish their own evil, and Scar is no exception: there was no REASON to give Mufasa that taunting "Long Live the King" before hurling him to his doom. There was no reason to pretend to still be a kind and caring uncle to Simba before siccing the hyenas onto him (a fact many have argued over time), there certainly wasn't a reason to whisper his little secret into Simba's ear before attempting to kill him. Scar is DEFINITELY a sadistic villain: he enjoys being nasty just because he enjoys it. TL, DR: Leona is a canon sadist in the definition that he can be sadistic in his actions, other characters in-canon are VERY aware of this fact, and there are multiple examples of these points within the game and the manga alike. On top of that, his source inspiration is also a sadistic character, so this makes perfect sense as an element of Leona's own personality. This doesn't mean Leona Kingscholar can't also be nice, or funny, or even cute, and it doesn't mean he necessarily "gets off" on those sadistic actions in the literal sense. But one also shouldn't ignore the fact that he can, in fact, be a big fat meanie-face when he wants to be, for basically no reason at all. I hope I have explained myself with clarity. XD

[meloms-ao3]

[AO3 Specific] I know that this issue has been talked about a lot already, but I want to say something about it too, as I fell into this trap a few days ago.

Hits👏 and👏 Kudos 👏don’t 👏define👏 how 👏good 👏your 👏work 👏is. Period.

I catch myself staring at the hits-and-kudos counter on my newer and older fanfics an awful lot these days. And as soon as something that I am very proud of doesn’t get as many kudos/hits as I hoped for, I get sad. 

This is not to say that we aren’t allowed to feel sad about that! It’s a normal reaction, and don’t let anyone tell you that you are “too sensitive“ or that you “care too much“ about that. Of course, we are allowed to care about that, we all want and need some sort of validation for the work we put into a fic at the end of the day.

Now what happened with me though, was that I let those low hits/kudos take over my motivation, almost destroying it. 

The thought “Why even bother writing when people won’t like it enough to give kudos anyway?“ was like a little gremlin in my mind, biting and punching down on my motivation.

What did I do to get away from those thoughts? I closed all my writing folders, put away my writing paper and didn’t open Ao3 for a day. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Ao3, I love writing. But even a hobby you love and adore can make you feel bad at times. Especially when you feel like you are not succeeding in it. 

Results from this self-prescribed detox: 

I opened Ao3 again and instead of being sad about those 2 kudos I went “Hm, nice.“

Distancing myself from writing, though it was only for one day, kind of pulled me back into my preferred mindset [which is: Not everything is for everyone]. This will obviously not work for everyone, but I felt like I could share it since it might help one person out there who is in a similar situation as me.

All our fics are special, all our fics are valid and don't let yourself get discouraged!

Sending much love to all the writers out there ❤️

[erinelliotc]

A tip I give as a listener and music lover: don't give up on songs after listening to them for the first time.

You know, one thing I've learned from my experience listening to music (and which I'm confirming even more now that I've started listening to Will Wood) is that sometimes it's not that you think the song is bad or meh, sometimes you just haven't listened to it enough. Sometimes it's not that you don't like the song, you might actually like it and just not be in the mood to listen to it at that exact moment. And especially if you're listening to several songs at once for the first time, you may not absorb them all well, so it's important to listen to them again other times.

This happened to me with a lot of The Living Tombstone songs. I'd listen to a song for the first time and think "That was kind of weird, I didn't like it very much", or "That wasn't bad but it wasn't good either", then I'd decide to listen to it a few more times, usually at other times, and then I'd start to LOVE the song.

Now this is happening to me with Will Wood.

Before going to the main topic I'll contextualize the following: I discovered Will Wood through "I / Me / Myself" on TikTok (don't judge me I'm trans okay 😭 this song means a lot to me. This is still my most listened song of his so far, but "Front Street", my favorite Will Wood song, is almost taking the top spot) because of an edit (made by @flowerpuff09) with Double D from "Ed, Edd n Eddy" (my biggest hyperfixation) and it immediately became a song I listened to every day almost all the time for many weeks and I even made 4 Eddy edits with this song (first I realized that the song on Spotify wasn't exactly the same as the one in the edit, and then I discovered that there was a demo version and an official version, and I ended up loving both equally in different ways). So in another Ed, Edd n Eddy edit on TikTok, this time an Eddy edit, I discovered "The Main Character" and loved it, and then I discovered that it was ANOTHER fucking Will Wood song! At that moment I thought I should listen to the rest of his songs because it was already the second song of his that I loved, and so I did.

The first time I listened to all of his songs (January 30th), I added to a playlist the songs that I felt I really liked from the first time I listened to them. If you're curious to know what songs they were here's the list so you can judge me (observation: I listen to the 2015 "Everything is a Lot" album except Aikido and EIAL / Destroy to Enjoy, and to the 2020 Remastered Version of SELF-iSH):

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con)

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones)

Front Street

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.

Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture

Cotard's Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca)

Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

2econd-2ight-2eer (that was fun, goodbye.)

I / Me / Myself [demo]

I / Me / Myself [official]

…well, better than the alternative

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples

BlackBoxWarrior – OKULTRA

Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave.

Love, Me Normally

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world

Your Body, My Temple

When Somebody Needs You [Song]

Tomcat Disposables

The Main Character

Against the Kitchen Floor

Willard!

Then I listened to my 23-song playlist non-stop for almost 3 weeks. And even the songs I already liked seemed to get better over time after listening to them more times, like "Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave.".

One day while reading Reddit, I saw some people commenting about not listening to "Euthanasia" because it was too sad, then I decided to watch the "Euthanasia" music video and ended up crying and loving the song, so I added it to my playlist. 2 weeks later, I added "Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)" to my playlist too after giving it another listen and really liking it (I was trying to increase the number of songs on this album because I felt sad listening to only 3 songs, even though it's a small album). A few days later I added "Ferryman" and "The First Step" after watching a video compiling the best parts of Will Wood's songs. Almost a week later I decided to give the "Everything is a Lot" album another listen and then I added "White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?)", "(Cover This Song) A Little Bit Mine" and "Lysergide Daydream". I also added "Venetian Blind Man (Song)" after seeing someone on Reddit say it was an underrated song, listening to it again and realizing it really was.

And something unusual happened. Somewhere in the middle of all this I also removed "BlackBoxWarrior – OKULTRA" because even though I liked it the first time I listened to it, it became a song I kept skipping, then I realized I didn't like it that much (please don't kill me. I know a lot of people love this one, but I found it to be my least favorite on "The Normal Album"). Whether I like or dislike a song ends up being about the sound, not the lyrics, mainly because English isn't my first language, so I end up not caring that much about the lyrics. It's not that the lyrics aren't important to me, what happens to me is:

If I like the sound of a song, and the lyrics also talk about something I like, identify with or find important, the lyrics come as a bonus so I like the song even more

If I like the sound of a song, but the lyrics have nothing to do with me, the song is still just as good for me

If I don't like the sound of a song, but the lyrics talk about something I like, identify with or find important, it doesn't change anything for me, it doesn't make me enjoy listening to the song one bit

Basically, the lyrics make songs I already like better for me, but they don't make a song I don't like better, or a song I like worse.

Fun fact involving me not being a native English speaker: besides Will's lyrics being very abstract in general, I'm also not fluent in English and I never made any effort to pay attention to his lyrics either, so I had no idea what "Tomcat Disposables" was about. But every time I heard it, I became inexplicably extremely sad and melancholic and even teared up even without knowing what he was talking about. One day I decided to look for the meaning and now I know that it made perfect sense to be sad about this song, and of course now I feel even sadder than before listening to this song. He did a really good job of making the melody capture the sad feeling of the story.

So from March 15th until the day before yesterday (for 1 month), I listened to this playlist of now 30 songs. So the day before yesterday I decided to listen to his albums again, and now I just added one song after another. The more I listen to his songs, the more I realize that I actually really like them. The songs that were added practically all at once were:

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic)

Everything Is a Lot

Destroy to Enjoy

2012

The Song with Five Names, a.k.a. Soapbox Tao, a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government, a.k.a. You Can Never Know

Dr. Sunshine is Dead

Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)

Cicada Days

That's Enough, Let's Get You Home

Um, I Mean, It's Kind of a Lot

Half-Decade Hangover

Vampire Reference in a Minor Key

Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll

White Noise

Yes, I like "Destroy to Enjoy" more than "BlackBoxWarrior – OKULTRA", leave me alone. And yes, it took me a while to like "Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)". It's my second least favorite song on "The Normal Album", but it's still good enough for me to put on my playlist. I swear, I REALLY wanted to like this song more, considering that "The Lorax" and especially the Once-ler were hyperfixations of mine in 2021. And yes, it took me a while, but now I love "The Song with Five Names [etc etc insert 4 more names here ...]". "Cicada Days" also finally got a special place in my heart, but the one I'm listening to most from the album "In case I make it," is "That's Enough, Let's Get You Home", the ending really touches me.

Anyway, now I have a playlist of 44 songs. I may still add more, but in general I'll enjoy listening to all of his songs (except "You Liked This (Okay, Computer)" and generally those that are only instrumental), even the ones I don't consider favorites (the ones that aren't on my playlist).

Then that's it. Give a second, third, fourth listen to that song you didn't like. It might even become a song you love and listen to all the time.

[mr-payjay]

You want to talk about doomed payjay sooo badly. I went on a huge rant about it yesterday and im curious to see what you think about it (also thank you for causing the payjay nickel incident that killed me)

YOU BET I DO!!! also im glad my superchat affected so many payjay fans, i find the result of it quite amusing

my favourite kind of doomed payjay is when their mental illnesses intersect... it's also fun to exaggerate them. ive found a lot of people like delusionally jealous oj? whenever i bring it up people get excited. to clarify, it's. pretty much just yanderizing oj LOL! here's some of the issues that can occur with delusional jealousy (disclaimer: i don't believe oj would ever do these. this is just a way i like to explore his character and push his jealousy and possessiveness to extremes for fun! at the very most, oj would fantasize about this, but he'd try to push the thoughts of it away because he'd think it makes him a bad person.)

ive been wanting to draw some of this for funsiessss. make that man go crazy bonkers insane like im monika ddlc turning up The Yandere Dial on yuri

another thing that's fun to explore is paper's need for attention!! my friend is better at explaining and detecting paper's hpd than i am, but i still notice some symptoms and scenarios myself: paper making a big deal about getting possibly eliminated while sitting on the bench, paper dramatically telling oj to go on without him then getting upset when he Does That, paper socializing quite a bit and generally being pretty extroverted, etc. and that can be. fun to think about! mind you i think more about oj's npd and bpd but i, of course, love paper a lot too. my friend suggested this, but paper feeding into oj's obsession (paper is oj's fp to be clear, umm i can give proof if someone wants?) to get attention & fucking things up just so he has to fix it and help him and Observe him is fun to consider. there's also the fact paper is bullied and shunned pretty often both in ii1 (remember apple) and in the hotel (they canonically just. destroy things. and paper has to fix them), and he's often not given attention other than to be useful... which kinda explains paper's eagerness to help in canon! id say it started off with paper trying to help people a lot in ii1, then they got used to it and started to assume he'd help all the time in the hotel, which he just went with because it's The Only Time they give him attention. also is why he canonically likes to cook :) he loves the reception it gets!

i like divorced payjay, but i don't think it would happen realistically. they're together for life. it definitely gets hard sometimes (they're both Suffering in general) but they're never ever Ever going to give up on each other. and that's beautifullll ahh my little Worms

um. i just realized i rambled more about their respective mental illnesses than doomed payjay LOL welllll it causes problems in their relationship ok

if you want you can send me an ask rambling about doomed payjay... id love to see what you were ranting about yesterday!

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Thinking about the Abyss Time Travel Arc idea you had in these posts (think it's awesome by the way) and thought to myself "what if after they stop it the timeline isn't completely back to normal?" Like, they made sure the changes it wanted didn't happen, but a lot of crazy shit happened while they were in the past so a few things are... not necessarily Bad, in fact a few are pretty Good, but mostly they're just...Different. (also anyone who was involved in the arc remembers the old timeline but not the new one Because Rules of Time Travel)

As a few examples of possible New Timeline Changes:

Toad's house and 3's Coffee & Bombs have swapped locations, which is the first sign that things aren't completely back to normal.

Bob got elected mayor of New Donk City during Bob's Last Stand. Somebody faints from this revelation.

Mario and Peach are engaged, which is a bit awkward since they only just got back together during the arc but thankfully doesn't cause any real drama since they both remember the old timeline.

Melony actually managed to free Axol in the Zero WotFI and they've been a couple ever since. This does cause drama since Melony was involved in the arc and now has to deal with essentially replacing the version of her that succeeded where she failed. So that's more guilt on top of the guilt she's already been dealing with the past few years for losing him in the first place.

Instead of being completely destroyed Movie Mario managed to survive as a string of code like Juliano and Gohma did and managed to reconstitute as a Duplighost months ago. No one knows this, so he's been free to scheme under everyone's noses. (this doesn't necessarily have to be a result of the timeline changing but with the way it's revealed to the audience it's heavily implied to be)

"Think its awesome by the way" :D

BUT OOOOOOO!!! I love all of these a lot,, especially with Melony saving Axol. Ooooooh, the angst,,,,,,

[7surreality7]

Jimin on AYS

For a good part of episode 1 of AYS, I had this irresistible urge to pull out Jimin's beanie and throw it far, far away so that he could never get it back. That beanie does him NO favor I swear apart from keeping him warm obviously but, well, is that important though? Is it truly necessary, Jimin? Could you not just get rid of it and let our audience benefit from the full view of your dazzling face, the enviable porcelain skin, and your gorgeous hair! Bear a little cold weather for us, can you?

Jokes apart, I feel that for some reason he wanted to keep it exactly that way. Sure, this is only my opinion but, in the first episode, it seemed like he wasn't all in there. Something was holding him back. He probably was unsure about this whole thing for reasons best known to him. On top of it, he also suffered agonizing tummy issues, got randomly hit on the nose by JK's elbow which resulted in excruciating pain for the entire night, and got annoyingly bitten all over by all the mosquitoes during trekking. Jimin was just about holding on and kept going due to his commitment to the show but physically and mentally he wasn't all in. No surprise then that he wondered aloud many times during the trip whether this was a good idea or complained that this wasn't what he was expecting from the trip. Also, the reason why he kind of hid himself under that beanie, probably. 

The good thing though? As the show progresses, we see him loosen up, feel better, and be more at ease. In all the following episodes, we see him truly letting go and having a good time. By the end of the fourth episode he even declared that he was sure about doing this! . 

A few Jimin-related thoughts I had during and after watching the episodes till now, in no particular order:

Jimin is proud of his car parking skills and is critical of other people's parking skills. He judges a driver as good or bad based on how well they maneuver the car while parking, according to his standards, lol. I would FAILLL miserably.

You might have come across the theory that your bias is your bias because they're the most like you. Or because you see yourself in them. I do believe that it is very true. I have believed it for a while now but I am more convinced after watching Jimin in the show. In episode 1, when JK and he are eating something at the brewery, JK starts analyzing how that particular snack would have been made and then proceeds to say something like this can be made easily and kind of starts explaining how to. Here Jimin laughs and remarks that he admires JK for his type of approach. Whereas, if he were to find something that was a lot to his liking, the first thought in his mind would be how he needs to earn more money so that he can buy a lot of that stuff. Hahahaha. Seriously, Jimin? That's the thought in your head? I mean, you are a multi-millionaire aren't you? You can easily afford things. But, how adorable and just how relatable was he? Omg, I died laughing at that moment when it struck me why Jimin is my bias because this would have been my exact same thought as well.

Jimin makes me want to pull his cheeks and go so kiyowo! multiple times. How the hell is he so different in real life from his on-stage, fire-in-his-eyes, will-destroy-you-with-just-one-glance, sensual performer image? One of those mysteries of the world that might remain unsolved. 

Why does Jimin get so surprised when someone recognizes them? Does his self-confidence also undergo a magical change just like his appearance when he's not on stage? But, like I said , the theory of your bias being the most like you? I get him. I do. I am nowhere comparing myself to JM here but I am him, seriously. Thinking that you are not good enough even when the whole world is practically worshipping you for being so good at what you do, ha!

Jimin loves, loves LOVES to baby both JK and V. However, Tae lets him, whereas JK resists. I have observed that JK prefers to project a grown-up and macho image of himself and most times he doesn't want to be babied by JM. Several times during the show he has reacted by saying "I am fine" or "you don't have to do that" or "it's okay" to the various approaches taken by Jimin to baby him as a way to stop JM from doing so, lol. Yes, JK, we get it. You are all grown up now. 

I think Jimin loves the idea of getting old. Several times on multiple occasions, he has mentioned how he turns 30 soon and how his body is not the same as before. But to me, it seems as though he is rather looking forward to being in his 30s and cannot wait to leave his 20s behind. He is looking forward to a more stable, laidback lifestyle in his 30s as opposed to the supremely hectic and constantly on-the-go one that he and the boys have led in their 20s.  Again, this is just my opinion as a fan, which I have formed by paying close attention to his words and the way he talks about this whole age issue.

I could go on and on but then this post would never end.

ciao!

[letteredlettered]

What’s Love Lock about??

This, like too many of my H/D stories, is an amalgamation of several stories I wanted to tell. I couldn't really figure out how they fit together, which is why I stalled on it.

One aspect isn't really a narrative story; the premise is that Harry is the nicest guy you will ever meet. I am tired--so tired--of people saying that Harry is thick, and stupid, and clueless, and cruel, for not loving Draco back. So tired. By the Grace was an attempt to write a story that shows why Harry might not immediately fall in love with Draco, in case you forgot that Draco bullied Harry and Harry's friends, not to mention tried to kill them; in case you forgot that Draco was classist and bigoted and awful. Anyway, that story still had people saying that Harry was a dick, so the petty part of me wanted to see what happened if Harry was even kinder and more supportive but still happened to not love Draco.

In the story Harry's in love with Ginny, who broke up with him a long time ago. Harry has accepted that she doesn't love him the way he loves her, but he believes he will never move on from her. She was The One for him, and he hasn't ever had feelings or even been attracted to anyone else since, so he just assumes that he's not really made to love more than one person in his life.

The next element of the story is teaching at Hogwarts. I often make Harry an Auror, because I really think that even though he would not be happy being an Auror, he thinks that's what he wants to do, and Harry is stubborn, and also not super emotionally intelligent. Like I think it would take a long time for him to realize that he doesn't love it. Meanwhile I really struggle to make Draco an Auror, because I just think that he would be so bad at it, and that he wouldn't want to, except to get into Harry's pants. I can believe that Draco would try to be an Auror in order to redeem himself, but that requires a lot of backstory, when all I really want is coworkers-to-lovers stories over and over (I think that's probably my favorite kind of love story).

So anyway, it's hard to think of scenarios over and over where Harry is an Auror and Draco is not, but they still cross paths all the time, and I had never written a professors-at-Hogwarts story, so I thought I'd give it a try. And with Harry being Mr. Nice, I realized that you could tell some really interesting stories that show how Harry has grown, become aware of his own abuse, and is able to really connect with some children as a result of that. He's really good with children who are outcasts and have anger issues, and Draco goes melty every time he sees Harry Potter talking gently to some grumpy third year.

After writing Away Childish Things I got very into the idea that Draco has always had a mortifying crush on Harry, and I'm not clear why that's not a staple in H/D fics. For some inexplicable reason, it's way more often Harry who has always been in love, an idea which I find somewhat repellent. I find myself really frustrated at what fandom has done with the "Harry was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy" line; Harry was obsessed because he thought Draco was a Death Eater and would maybe kill someone, which by the way, Draco tried to do--several times!!! Like yeah, definitely, read gay into things all you want, but next to Draco's behavior, Harry has no more interest in Draco than a rock in his shoe. Draco, meanwhile, seems to only think of Harry in years 1-5, seems to shape his whole existence around getting a rise out of Harry Potter. This is someone who is obsessed, who rapidly became obsessed years ago that day on the train.

Anyway, I wanted to write a story that explored that kind of obsession, which is not necessarily love but is perhaps a little more than lust. I wanted to show how Draco hated it in himself and was ashamed of it, and kept trying to destroy it, and yet there Potter was, always being strong and brave and hot, and Draco could just never stop himself.

Anyway, I wanted to show that this obsession had a lot to do with Harry's image and how Harry comes across, and that once Draco comes to know Harry when they both teach at Hogwarts, Draco understands that Harry is not only strong and hot and brave, but also sincerely kind and just and good. That's when the real trouble begins, because Draco falls so hard in love that he knows he'll never recover, but here Potter is still holding a torch for Ginny. Still, Harry and Draco become quite good friends; they confide in each other; they do things for the students together; they all around enjoy each other. Harry knows that Draco is gay, and Draco knows all about Harry's feelings for Ginny.

The problem is that this story--Draco falling for Harry while teaching at Hogwarts and the two of them becoming friends--has a lot of little plots involving Draco and Harry helping and caring for the students, getting involved in their little woes and victories. So while the only big, overarching plot is Draco falling in love, there are many many little narratives within.

The reason this is a problem is that was all supposed to be backstory.

The present day story is a love potion accident + bonding; it not only makes Harry fall in love with Draco but makes it so that Harry has to be in Draco's proximity or else he falls dangerously ill. Harry also feels much better when being touched by Draco. Hopefully you can imagine Draco's torture, being so in love with Harry but knowing that it's not real; not only is it not real but Harry loves someone else; not only does Harry love someone else, but Harry is his friend, and taking advantage of him in this state would ruin that friendship. Harry, meanwhile, has trouble understanding that loving Draco is a spell at all; he confesses that he really admires Draco and likes him and that he believes he's fallen in love. Draco refuses to believe this and furthermore states he has zero interest in Harry so there is no possibility of physical romance.

The cure takes a really long time to invent.

Then when Harry does get the cure, it becomes obvious that loving Draco really was just part of the potion. However, some weeks later, Harry confesses that he's never really thought about his sexuality and that the potions accident made him realize that perhaps there were aspects of himself he hasn't explored; he confesses that since the cure, he's been thinking about Draco in a new way. He knows that Draco isn't into him in that way, given how Draco acted when Harry was under the influence, but Harry tells Draco how he feels and asks if he could become interested; he asks if they could try something like dating and see how it goes.

Draco says no. He's convinced that the potion, though it is cured, addled Harry's brain and made him think he's things he's not; Draco's so terrified of taking advantage of Harry that he refuses to even consider it.

Time goes on. Harry decides to try dating other people. He dates a man. Draco has a nervous breakdown. Then Draco and Harry get together; the end.

[artemis-is-an-idiot]

I posted this on my twitter but its not very often I am inspired to do deep dives into things so I thought I post it here too. For context, someone posted a twitter tread talking about Winx Club and its influence on future media. In that thread, there were a few untrue statements that upset people. One of which was about Sailor Moon.

This started a feud between Sailor Moon fans and Winx Club fans, and as fandom do, they resulted to pointing out the problematic flaws of each show. This once again, dregs up the "Sailor Moon endorses incest" argument. I kinda have an issue with that statements so I took it upon myself to give the proper context for that scene. My tweet was as follows;

In light of this Winx club/Sailor moon thread I want to talk about the "incest promotion" in Sailor Moon. Is there an incest kiss? yes, actually there's 2. Is it promoted as a good thing? NO. I do not condone incest in any way shape or form but there is context behind the kiss in sailor moon that explains it. Sailor Moon in no way states that what happens is a good thing.

To give context, the kiss in question is between Mamoru (father) and Chibi Usa (daughter). Chibi Usa travels to the past in an attempt to save her millennium from being destroyed.

Even though she is technically 900 years old (no this is not one of those arguments) she is still physically and emotionally a child.

She is about 5 years old when she first travels to the past. and guess what, that's usually the age where daughters love their fathers and want to marry them in future. their father is their main representation of men and how relationships work. She admires her mother and wants to be like her but also feels distant from her and she is constantly teased that she is nothing like her and not a true heir. this leads her to steal the silver crystal, inadvertently causing the downfall of the future millennium.

When she travels to the past she is guilt ridden, all the while still having complex feelings about her parents. Usagi isn't how she thought her mother would be based on people told her about her, and she actually finds Usagi more relatable, but she doesn't show it in front of her. Mamoru stays fairly consistent in personality in both past and future, so he says like the same father to Chibi Usa. Chibi Usa still loves her father and she also enjoys antagonising Usagi over it.

The events that lead to the kiss are as follows, Chibi Usa ends up taking the group to the future and explaining what happened and revealing who she is. A lot of stuff happens and Chibi Usa ends up running off into the time vortex by herself because she feels that no one needs her. In her weakest moment she is manipulated by wiseman (the bad guy) and given a corrupted version of her 5 year old dreams.

Mamoru, upon finding out she has run away, naturally chases after trying to make sure she is safe. Unfortunately for him, he can't go one arc without getting brain washed by the bad people, it is chronic. He is brainwashed and now does whatever Chibi Usa (Now Black Lady) tells him to do. In her childish mind, she wanted to possess her father and now she has been given the power to do so. In no way shape or form is this a consensual kiss between father and child.

Sailor Moons greatest strength is her love, but it is also her biggest weakness. Black Lady knows this and flaunts her "relationship" with Mamoru in front of her to shake her, hence kiss.

None of this is consensual or portrayed as "good". It is a portrayal of a child's complicated feelings being manipulated for someone else's benefit.

[willel]

The problem I see is that most ppl who are currently asking for interactions/conversations between Joyce and Jonathan tend actually to have a narrow and somewhat distorted perception of their relationship, and that’s mainly constructed from Jonathan’s alleged perspective, btw. I think that’s the point other people are now reacting to.

But do you not see why people might be framing this from Jonathan's perspective right now in the grand scheme of things?

In season 1, Joyce's character was fixated on her boys , Hopper, the government, and supernatural plot.

Season 2, Joyce was fixated on Will, Bob, a bit of Hopper, the government, and the supernatural plot.

Season 3, Joyce was fixated on Hopper, the Soviets, and a dash of the supernatural plot at the end.

In season 4, Joyce was fixated on Hopper and the Soviet plot.

As a fan of the Byers family overall, you gotta think, "In what way can you bring back the family dynamic in an interesting way that won't lead to complete disaster, but can be tense with a little drama but the outcome would be overwhelming good?"

So then you look at her boys which she's been separated from for 2 seasons.

For Will, it's pretty easy. He has his sexuality arc going on right now. Although Will didn't outright say it, Jonathan made it super duper clear he already knows and accepts him.

We know Joyce is gonna accept him too and I'm sure HE knows that as well, but it still takes a lot of courage to come out and say it to someone. Even if he doesn't, would be nice for his mom to give him a similar or maybe even more obvious pep talk about how she loves him no matter what. Could apply to both his sexuality and maybe whatever supernatural stuff he's going to go through.

Joyce and Will are easy and done with.

Now you look at Jonathan. What is Jonathan dealing with? He's literally destroying his life because he feels personally responsible for taking care of his family. He lied to his family and girlfriend about school and is letting everything crumble around him.

So then, as someone who loves the Byers family, how might some Byers family moments fix this?

I think the obvious answer would be Joyce finding out he lied about the school situation since she's been anxiously waiting for his college acceptance letter while he's at high school. I think it's obvious upon finding that out, she would confront her son. I think it's obvious when poked even a little bit, all of Jonathan's troubles would come spilling out whether he wants them to or not.

I can't say how fast that subplot would be resolved after it all gets out in the open, but without a doubt I think the result would be exactly as they were in season 1. Even when they were bickering or Joyce was scolding him it always resulted in hugs and understanding (ESPECIALLY that time when she was frustrated with his 'I can do it myself' attitude, the EXACT same issue he's having right now)

Like, is this not from Joyce's perspective?? Jonathan is her son. She doesn't like it when he acts like a lone wolf and takes on too many responsibilities whether it's killing a monster or working when he shouldn't.

This is the character arc Jonathan is going through. She's had to put up with this behavior before in season 1 and we already saw exactly how she'd resolve that. A confrontation. A stern talking to. A pep talk. Reassurance. A hug. Some tears.

They keep saying "We're going to circle back to season 1" and yet people seems to have forgotten how Joyce and Jonathan were in season 1...... things weren't sunshine and rainbows but they made it work. They were adorable and loving.

Like of course, people will talk about what Jonathan must be feeling right now. But it's because these are all things people hope Joyce would notice, just like she has in previous seasons, and save her son from his misery.

I'd like to finish off by saying, again, THIS DOES NOT MAKE JOYCE A BAD MOTHER and I still don't know how people can jump to that conclusion after reading all this. She's without a doubt the best mom on the entire show and the only competition is Terry Ives. Like.... Joyce is grade A material, no wonder every man in the solar system has tried to get with her.

[safety-writes-noms]

Hello I noticed you got a lot of spider verse asks and not a lot about your ocs so I guess I’m gonna have to do the prying myself. How did unu and mark meet? Why does a god need an avatar? Etc. I am interested in your little guys

GASP MY FIRST ASK ABOUT MY OCS????? I was wondering if anyone actually wanted to know about them or if they just wanted to see spiderverse stuff (which I still love, the hyperfixation is still going strong)

Unu is a fire deity (or minor god, take your pick) whose main objective is to hunt down demonic creatures who have seeped into the mortal world from his world. Unfortunately he himself can only go down to earth for short bursts of time to eviscerate the monsters because his body isn’t meant to exist in theirs.

If he stays too long, things will start to get blurred, resulting in either the two worlds crashing into each other or completely ripping each other apart. His ultimate goal is to seal the rift to stop the creatures from spilling into the mortal world. He has to find the one on his realm and the on on earth.

The monsters also have that effect of essentially destroying earth except it’s a slower since they’re not as strongly energized as Unu. So to help, he’s enlisted humans (avatars) for the past few hundred years to aid him.

He gives them a small share of his abilities. Not enough to start ripping holes in the earth’s space but enough juice to kill the creatures (I haven’t thought of a good name for them yet :o). In return they get enhanced strength, longer life spans and some of his abilities (manifesting fire, some immunity to sickness, resistance to the sun/skin cancer etc.)

he trains them in the dream scape where his mental body and the human’s body can exist freely. It’s also how he introduces himself to them. If they agree to be his avatar, he bonds with them so he can transfer his abilities without them getting injured internally.

This csn’t really be reversed easily and almost always results in unu getting very attached to the avatar and being determined to keep them alive for as long as possible so that they can live happy lives once they stop being avatars.

Unu selects humans by their physical traits usually, but some humans can actually pass on the bond to other humans in extreme situations + they have to be close to the next human.

Now that I’m done with the exposition I can finally get to the questions you asked! Sorry for it being long :((. Anyway Unu’s past avatar, (mark’s older brother) died in battle with a pretty bad monster and mark happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, resulting in the bond automatically transferring to him bc of his closeness with his brother, roman, and the situation.

Mark and unu actually kinda hated each other at first, unu because he really misses Roman and mark was never supposed to be an avatar (especially since he’s literally 13 years old) and mark because he saw unu as the person who basically killed his older brother.

They met in the dream scape, mark agrees (forces unu to make him an avatar) to be an avatar because he wants to get justice for his brother despite unu’s insistence that he seriously shouldn’t (he can’t really stop mark since the bond is already in place.) eventually they get closer, talk out their issues, all the hurt/comfort. And mark gets better at fighting demons.

unu grudgingly trains him because he’s not asshole enough to send out a kid (even though he’d rather not send mark out at all) and plus in honor for roman since he does genuinely feel completely responsible and guilty for his death. Which is also why he trains mark really hard.

So sorry this is so long and probably kinda hard to get since I’m not good at explaining. Here’s a doodle :D I tweaked mark’s design a little bit and changed his hair since I didn’t really like it.

Unu actually can exist in a very watered down form of his on earth. Usually the impact is so minuscule that regular humans can’t see him, as shown in the doodle. He’s like a little ball of fire.

[carverl]

So I recently replayed every mission from the I Expect You To Die franchise to rank them subjectively from worst to best based on my own experience playing them, keep in mind I don't think there is a bad level out of all of these and I've enjoyed each to a certain extent and when Cog in the Machine comes out I'll add the levels from that game into this list (I am not including the tutorials or intro sequences in this seeing as there's no actual gameplay in either of those)

13. Operation: Squeaky Clean - I've never really liked this level due to the tediousness of mixing the chemicals together, finding the right combination of said chemicals through diagrams and the absolute nightmare of trying to put the antivirus into the rocket at the end which I find utterly frustrating not in a "Oh this puzzle is hard to figure out" way but just in how jank it is and being forced to restart after that destroys a piece of my soul every time. That being said I enjoy the window washer gags and the setting is cool, I just wish the mechanics were more fun.

12. Operation: Friendly Skies - This level is very fun with a host of great lines from the Handler, Zor's car is fun to poke around in and the bomb defusal is a classic moment for me. I don't have any issues with this level it's just a bit basic which is totally fine seeing as it's the first proper level in the series but as a result it comes up short next to the following 11.

11. Operation: Seat Of Power - Seeing inside a Zoraxis meeting room and having a switch that drops Zor's henchmen into a firey pit is honestly both hilarious and unsettling, I love using the villain's own gadgets against them. The villain lair atheistic is very nice and the method of escape is perhaps one of the most stylish in the series with the flying chair being a nice touch.

10. Operation: Winter Break - There's something so cozy about this one with the fireplace and snow outside it's got a unique vibe and I find the safe puzzle to be satisfying to crack and the gravity crystals with the lasers at the end adds some great tension, whenever I play this level I always wear the fedora and the lasers always set it on fire which results in a laugh from me everytime.

9. Operation: Stage Fright - We open The Spy and the Liar with a bang in a fun opening level that has a great sense of espionage and discovery in it, setting the stage is fun and the little details of hearing people below you react to the stuff you drop is such a charming detail, I also love the Fabricator's commentary over the headphones. The fight with Zoraxis agents at the end is exhilarating and even though it's hard to miss with the crossbow it still feels good getting a shot in. Also "THIS IS NOT PART OF THE SHOW EVERYBODY RUN!" Is so funny to me and I'm not sure why.

8. Vacation: First Class - If I'm ever in a mood for a laid back level I choose First Class, it's so classy and I will always remember how good it felt figuring out the combination of buttons on the wall by noticing the clues in the environment myself, fending off the assassins, car and plane gives the level a thrilling conclusion that I really enjoy. That being said I did always find the violinist surviving with no explanation when you're lead to believe she's shot a bit strange but it's not enough to detract from my enjoyment.

7. Operation: Eaves Drop - I love the sense of mystery and intrigue this level has to offer, I feel like a real spy snooping about the Fabricator's workshop figuring out the evil scheme, the element of the flashlight adds a lot in terms of roleplaying as Pheonix in that scenario. I just find the whole set up a ton of fun, the music is suitably restrained and I love how it gets more fast paced at certain parts almost like it's reflecting Pheonix getting more excited at the discoveries they're making.

6. Operation: Deep Dive - As someone with thalassophobia I find this level terrifying in the best way, the thought of being trapped at the bottom of the ocean in a cramped, claustrophobic pod gives me incentive to get through the level. The puzzles are great in this one with the grenade and code being real highlights for me, I love the sense of panic that comes over you when you hear the glass crack or the voice crackle. It's just a great level with a uniquely terrifying setting.

5. Operation: Safe and Sound - John Juniper. That's all I need to say about why this level is so great, we get a proper face to face with the villain in a way we hadn't until this level with an amazing monologue that I never skip. The fast pace of this level makes replaying it very fun with the music adding a great sense of urgency, it feels the most like a classic Bond film moment and I love it. Also the way Juniper made Pheonix a sandwich to eat while he's busy going on about world domination is both funny and adorable.

4. Operation: Party Crasher - Going undercover as Juniper's butler while using his own defence system against him? Sign me up, indeed this level is both tense and super entertaining and was I the only one who got really nervous trying to figure which glasses were wine glasses? There's so much I enjoy in this one with using the masks to find a way out, gassing the Zoraxis agents and of course hearing Juniper's voice crack when he sees you wearing his mask is worth a whole heap of points just on that alone.

3. Operation: Death Engine - The sheer scale and spectacle of this level is remarkable with the outer space set piece being a real standout with probably the most difficult puzzles in the series, I love how elements from across the first game come back in this level to make it feel like a proper conclusion. Solaris's presence instead of the Handler gives this level another unique trait and her commentary as you fumble through every option is great. The last bit where you deposit the nuclear box into the station is so tricky to pull off but feels so satsifying when you do with the instrumental theme playing.

2. Operation: Jet Set - Oh my god the amount of fun I have with this one is ridiculous, the setting is great, the music is classy and I adore how it ramps up in intensity at the later bits of the mission. The sense of tangible progression and problem solving is the perfect balance between being difficult and rewarding, figuring out you have to break the window to the plane is such a god tier moment to me with how well presented it is with the missle aporoaching. The amount of ways Juniper tries to kill you is hilarious and his commentary is the best part of the whole operation; how he goes from polite to agitated to downright murderous is great, big props to the voice actor.

1. Operation: Rising Pheonix - This level is no joke one of the best experiences I've had in any game, the stakes of the mission are massive and you really feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders ascending in that elevator. There's so many great moments like with the lift being shot up, using the taser you find on the table saw and hearing an instrumental of the main theme play as you finally confront Juniper. Juniper's death is shocking (pun intended) and hearing Zor's distorted voice is genuinely chilling, no joke my palms were sweating when I was defusing the nuke. Then when you realise you have to sacrifice yourself to save the world with the swelling music oh my god peak gaming experience. It's such a masterpiece of a level and it is in my opinion the best part of both games.

[2n2n]

What do you think about this art??

What covers tsukasa's mouth ?? 👇👇

Tsukasa is simply wearing a black face mask! I wonder why ... ? secrets under there ... ? I think there are secrets under there

what I think about this art is

porno girl hentai girl tsukasa girl in a porno porno girl slut girl slut tsukasa porno girl tsukasa

but you probably don't want to hear about that ....

I will try to control myself (?)

MAHOU SHOUJO NENE!

lots to unpack here I hope we get. More art of this AU so we can understand Any of it.

It appears as if Tsuchigomori and Yako are kind of power-granting mascots ala the usual for magical girls ? Tsuchigomori is the same colorscheme as Amane's tsueshiro …. purple and red? So… I guess they are in some way … involved … ? The Tsueshiro not being green/red is killing me. It's never changed colors before. It's changed shape (and only in Valentine's event I believe, where the boys are specifically some sort of heart/love demons...), but ....

It is interesting Amane + Tsukasa are paired, and Amane is more or less on the side of the Broadcast Club...? Maybe incidentally, but eh you know ... Bad Guys Side....

Amane is definitely simply The Bad Guy like he typically is in AUs, so charming of him... it feels like Tsukasa giddily stans him and watches him strut his stuff .... ♥

Amane is once again wearing a collar. Why? It's killing me. He wears a collar in Valentine's event, too… please … Amane… what are you trying to represent? In the Ryokan event, AmaTsu wear matching collars, too, though of course, Amane was wearing his first, being a cat …

the symbolism of this … ? the potential ..... shrivels me to dust. I can barely think about it ....

I have no idea what the boys are meant to be, I will leave it up to someone smarter to sus it out ... my first guess was jiāngshī ?? because of the hat ??? being ghosts, and being possible as a result of suicide, and well, Amane's been a vampire and other ghouls, it feels 'on par' with what he becomes in AUs ... but that's a very ignorant guess, doesn't at all touch on the horns or jewels, which I don't recognize ... they could just be ... something made up ....or a bug I don't know about ... i don't know ... ! Ignorance ... Ignorance me....

but ugh, it is making me think about the boys as corpses in different conditions, which I would love... if Tsukasa's facemask was hiding more gruesome mutilation, or something. I love when Tsukasa is visibly more messed up than Amane ... ♥ it's kinda how I feel it 'is' in canon deep down ... and in things like Ghost Hotel, Tsukasa might be missing some fingers ... would really love a Tsukasa with some permanent, frozen-in-time-of-death wounds courtesy of Amane... ♥

Unfortunately though Nene-chan herself is not very interesting to me here visually x''''l me and Aida-sensei have such different tastes WRT magical girl attire ... I don't like any of this look, beyond the asymmetrical socks ... I simply hope Amane manipulates her into feeling like a hero while actually enabling his own destructive plans, just like in canon. Make her destroy some sacred jewels or something....

The uh, Teen School AU with the magic also has a magical girl element and THAT Nene-chan looks so atrocious to me, absolutely the worst look, hate it toe to tip, im SO sorry Aida-sensei ... your idea of 'magical girl' is just so x''''''l no... I hope more art happens so I can see.... normal girl Nene-chan in this AU.... I mean Teen School has such a Bad magical Nene-chan but I LOOOOOOOVE NORMAL CHEERLEADER NENE-CHAN IN THAT AU!!!!! so mnngh h... please ... the twins are so hot I want a hot Nene-chan for them.....

every time Teru/Kou are just cops in AUs it is Funny. Yeah. I need to make a compilation sometime of every AU they just translate into, detectives, or, cops. All these STUPID MINAMOTO ARE . here to ARREST EVERYONE . here to PROFILE!!!!! GOD. so direct with AUs. we just make Amane some sort of monster villain, and the Minamoto cops.

I feel Nothing about Shijima Mei being here I'm sorry girl. Mitsuba I'm also sorry girl I, there's just this major slut happening on the other side of the picture I can't think about anything else. Not sorry to Sakura though she looks like a beautiful unicorn :) thats so nice ... I do have a little room to think about that :D

and lastly. A... AidaIro sensei is this ... is this you?

it's absolutely not black canyon or white inferno who are gray and white respectively .... I .... ?

[annalyticall]

Thoughts on Mass Effect 3 and Mass Effect Trilogy

Well. It's over.

I'll keep it real with you chief, Mass Effect 3 was by far my favorite of the three games. That might be controversial given what I know about the divisive endings (basically the only thing I knew before I started these games), but as a newcomer to the series, Mass Effect 3 had a lot of what I was looking for from the previous entries. I also realized that fundamentally I can't compare these games to Dragon Age because the truth is I still like the Dragon Age games more individually but I do like Mass Effect more as a unified trilogy.

Again, I played Shiv Shepard, colonist Sole Survivor, Sentinel, and Paragon. I played her with survivor's guilt in ME1, with a burning hatred of Cerberus for bringing her back from the dead (and for the Akuze thing) in ME2, and a mix of burning hatred of Cerberus and a survivor's guilt over Earth in ME3. I don't think I ever mentioned this but I intended Shiv to be Irish/Korean, full first name is Siobhan

You see that bit of red? Those are renegade points I got every time I talked to the Illusive Man.

Major Story Decisions: Continued relationship with Kaidan, let Mordin cure the genophage, killed Councilor Udina myself with Kaidan on my side, secured peace between the geth and quarians, killed the Illusive Man myself, and chose the Destroy ending (which I'll get into later). I entered the war with 8000 war assets and the only character deaths I saw were the scripted ones (Mordin, Thane, Legion, Anderson, presumably EDI). I also beat James' 182 pull-up record.

The Pros and Cons lists are a little tricky for this one since I found a lot of the good came with some bad and a lot of the bad came with some good, but I'll try to keep it all in neat bullet points.

Pros

Satisfying Ends. From Mordin curing the genocidal disease he helped perfect to the control-hungry Illusive Man driven crazy by the same control he sought to have, everyone gets a nice and neat bow on their character arcs that had been set up since the beginning, or at least since Mass Effect 2. Honestly, playing ME3 made me like ME2 more than I had before since I could now see the consequences of my actions on the characters I grew close with in the previous game. Speaking of...

Consequences. Moreso than Dragon Age, it's fun to see how much my choices from previous games impacted my experience throughout the trilogy following a single character and her friend group. Of course, it's not going to be perfect - I AM miffed that my major game-ending decisions of ME1 and ME2 like saving the council, rewriting the geth, and destroying the collector base ultimately resulted in very little change in the story. Weirdly, it was the lesser decisions that mattered most - keeping Wrex alive, preserving the cure data in Mordin's loyalty mission, not cheating on my ME1 love interest, resolving Legion's and Tali's hostility, and reuniting Thane with his son were all very effecting choices on my story since they all add up into a pool of possible outcomes rather than dichotomous decisions (it makes sense Kaidan might trust me a little less in an armed standoff if I cheated on him I guess lol). And I appreciate that even the minimal choices were at least represented as war assets.

Gameplay. ME3 had the best gameplay of all games by far. I think it's telling when I could spend over 3 hours in the combat center just trying out different modes. Unlike in ME2, I didn't feel as restricted in playstyle with the introduction of a bonus power and a healthier shield. My favorite bonus power was Aria T'Lok's Flare, a large biotic blast critical in any fight with bunched-up enemies. I'm glad I got that one early on because it helped me survive so much of the game.

It looks good. Not that I hated the graphics in the last two games, but this one had some nice cinematic angles, richer colors, and grander set designs that made it more immersive for me to get into.

Pace and Scope. ME3 really pulled off the feeling of scale in a galaxy-wide conflict. It didn't hold back with its bang of an opening as we survive the reapers attacking Earth within the first 10 minutes, then slowly we see these behemoth machines devastate every other alien homeworld and invade more of the map in each story arc until it culminates in a grand final stand. I was worried the game would, in a sense, "nerf" the reapers since it took so much to take down just one reaper in ME1 and a single half-built reaper in ME2, but although we kill many more reapers in ME3, each one is an earned spectacle that requires either a lot of combined firepower or a giant thresher maw to do the job. Side note, I do like the irony of my sole survivor Shepard getting saved by the thing that killed her whole squad in the past.

Romance and Friendships. Listen, I don't think I've praised a Bioware game on its romance since Dragon Age Origins (Alistair my beloved) and while this game is still a little sparse in the romance department, the DLCs more than make up for it with a lot of great content for the love interests. I enjoyed the flirty, lively banter and the cute domestic scene in the Citadel DLC (Kaidan my beloved), and how worried he was about Shepard's safety in the Leviathan DLC. But even outside those addons, I liked the quiet moment shared before the final Cerberus mission, and while I typically cringe at Bioware sex scenes, I found this one to be, uh... tolerable. The romance in ME3 felt like an oasis after the lonely desert I suffered through in the last game lol. As for friendships, I loved the little platonic dates you get to go on with your squadmates both in the base game and the Citadel DLC. I never felt closer to these characters than I have here.

Cons

Contrived Means. Although I enjoyed the satisfying ends to many subplots and character arcs, I didn't enjoy the somewhat forced means it took to get there. I can forgive the last-minute sabotage that doomed Mordin to die since ultimately the end it led to was most fitting for Mordin's story. However, I took issue with a lot of the geth/quarian buildup, mostly involving Legion and the reaper codes. To be honest, I LIKED the geth being a completely alien hivemind and existing as a neutral anomaly that takes effort to understand and accept in ME2. The focus of becoming an individual (the original question the geth asked was actually "do these units have a soul", not "does this unit have a soul" as ME3 claims) undermined what I thought was compelling about Legion and the geth in the first place. Also, Legion's sacrifice felt unnecessary, especially when the reason for the reaper code upload not working was flimsy. And don't even get me started on the Citadel...

The Citadel. Holy shit, what happened there? I'm not talking about the Citadel as a location - I liked exploring the Citadel more in this game than any of the other games - I mean the Citadel as a plot device. For one, I was very surprised to learn the Citadel was the Catalyst when it was already an important plot device in ME1, where it was revealed to be a secret reaper mass relay. Now it's the key to a giant super weapon against the reapers whose original designers are never specified? Okay? But my biggest issue was that it was inexplicably "moved" by the reapers in the last mission despite millions of people living on it, then we can use it to blow up the reapers, destroying the Citadel and I assume most people still on there, so we're basically condemning millions of people to die and never get to see the impact of that decision. Granted, this is not much different than the weird 300K Batarian mass murder Shepard commits in ME2, but the difference is that these people are people we knew and spent a good amount of time helping and building relationships with throughout the game. What happened to Captain Bailey? What happened to Kolyat? The game never bothers to address that.

Kai Leng. Now, I don't expect every character to be wonderfully fleshed out. I accepted Kai Leng was just a plot device to stand in the way of Shepard and her goals, but his presence still left a bad taste in my mouth. He's never mentioned in any of the previous games, then he's introduced here as having a badass reputation despite his best move being a shield. He is so painfully one-dimensional compared to literally any other character that killing him didn't even feel good. I think it would have been cool if Kai Leng was someone else, maybe a character scorned by Shepard in the past who wanted revenge. Or, he could have been another character revived by Cerberus and abandoned in favor of Shepard, which was hinted at in his video logs but wasn't completely followed through on. I guess maybe I just wanted it to be Evil Clone Shepard from the Citadel DLC because even she was more compelling. What a waste of Troy Baker.

Let Me Speak. It's complicated because I do think ME3 has some of the strongest dialogue in the series (I didn't have the same jarring Talk No Jutsu problem as I did in ME1 because even when you're talking down a literal war, the dialogue feels earned and natural). However, the cutscenes went on noticeably longer without any input from the player character. It was frustrating since I felt like sometimes Shepard was railroaded into saying or doing something I wouldn't have chosen to do otherwise, but so is the burden of being a finale, I suppose.

Femshep Romance. Listen. I like Kaidan's romance. I like Garrus' romance. I like Liara's romance. If you chose to romance any of them in your playthrough like I did, that's great! You get a good romance. But if you're playing femshep and don't choose those 3 options... you don't. Thane dies early-ish in ME3 (which, I mean, I guess that could be good if you like inevitable tragedy) and Jacob cheats on you (which is terrible and I have NEVER seen in a video game romance before). And if you want to romance a girl? You get Liara or some minor side character, and that's it. You don't get Tali, Ashley, Jack, Miranda, or any of the several other female options that male Shepard has access to. Even in ME3, a male Shepard can romance Kaidan if they want a male companion to romance. Ashley doesn't get the same bi treatment. It's kinda sad just how limited femshep's options are for romance compared to their male counterpart.

The Synthesis Ending. Yes, I chose the Destroy Ending for rather complicated reasons that I will get into, but after watching the outcome of the other endings, I have a bone to pick with Synthesis. I discuss my opinion on the endings in a later section if you want to skip to that.

The DLC

Omega. It was fun. Not much more I can really say. I liked Nyreen as a character (and it was nice to finally meet a female turian) but I also felt her sacrifice was rather hollow. Aria grew on me and I was able to get her to spare Oleg at the end, but really, the shining star of this DLC was earning her Flare ability.

Leviathan. It's a double-edged sword because while I liked the expansion of reaper lore (and the extra dialogue with the LI and EDI) I also think that overexplaining the reaper backstory ruined a bit of their mystique. It also had strange implications for the ending, as the reaper AI explains its purpose in a more convoluted and obfuscated way than the Leviathan does, so it adds to the frustration of the limited ending dialogue choices given to call the reaper AI out on its vague statements.

Citadel. This is possibly the best DLC of any game I have ever played, I'm serious. With the exception of maybe Trespasser from Dragon Age Inquisition, never have I thought a DLC was so perfect for the story it was accompanying. Granted, I think the idea of taking forced shore leave is a little laughable when the fate of the galaxy is at stake, but I digress, the DLC was near perfect otherwise. It had fun in-jokes, meaningful time to spend with squadmates past and present, great scenes with the love interest, and, yes, I did spend 3 hours in the combat simulator just to get the rare One and Only achievement. And that pistol? It was the only thing keeping me from dying to brutes and banshees during the last Earth mission. I am not exaggerating when I say most of my enjoyment of this game actually comes from this DLC, and I consider its bittersweet ending to be the real ending for Mass Effect.

The Squad (including past Squad members)

Kaidan. Once again, I am listing the squadmates in relative order of how much I liked them, and Kaidan skyrocketed to the top within the last 30% of the game. I mean, I had to like him enough to romance him in ME1, but ME2 made me sour toward him, and even at the beginning of this game I was a little bitter that he was still so prickly about Shepard's forced involvement with Cerberus. However, after the hospital and the initial awkwardness of rekindling a strained relationship, I fell in love with his character all over again. He's not quite as deep as the other characters, true, but his human and down-to-earth presence is SO needed in a cast of complicated and eccentric aliens, and the random things he says are some of the only things I ever laugh at in this game. It almost makes me grateful for the mid-series break, because, for all the frustration, the relationship feels earned by the end. He might not surpass Alistair for top Bioware romance for me, but he comes close. Also, the unconditional reassurance he gives once realizing Shepard had actually been clinically dead and may not have been completely the same when she was rebuilt by Cerberus was so nice to get after the accusatory headache that was the Horizon mission in ME2.

Garrus. Admittedly, I don't think Garrus adds much to the narrative of ME3. Even when helping me cure the turian-ordered genophage he doesn't have much stake in the story, and then he has almost none after the genophage is cured. But that doesn't really matter when his purpose is actually just to be Shepard's rock. He is such a good friend and his presence is so comforting that I wish I could take him on every mission even if he's got nothing relevant to say. His farewell to Shepard at the end was the only other farewell besides Kaidan's that made me tear up. Shepard said it best: there is no Shepard without Vakarian.

Tali. I still love Tali, but she was shafted a bit by the lack of screen time she had in this game. It's a shame that she comes to the crew so late, although I guess it's understandable given that she's an admiral now. Still, I loved seeing her wistfulness as she dreamed of her new home on Rannoch, and her time in the Citadel DLC was very fun.

Mordin. Despite his fourth-place ranking on the list, I think Mordin is THE best-written character in Mass Effect. He has one of if not the best character arcs, and he's so likable that I can't not love Professor War Crimes. His singing as the building was falling down around him... it was so sad but a perfect way for him to go.

EDI. Her earnest and heartfelt quest to understand what it means to be human was endearing to me, and her relationship with Joker was great. I brought her along most times if Garrus or Kaidan didn't make sense to take. I am heartbroken that my chosen ending means her death, but it was a sacrifice I still decided to make, especially after she said she was willing to give her life to save the person she loved.

Liara. While I like Liara, I still feel like there's something missing in her character that I can't quite put my finger on. That said, I like the friendship she has with Shepard. There's an implication to their interactions that suggest she never stopped having romantic feelings for Shepard even after I turned her down in ME1, but I like how she still wants to be a close friend to her rather than be bitter about it.

Thane. I think the story did him justice, giving him a pivotal role to play in the amount of time he had left. The prayer read as he was dying sincerely touched me. He wasn't my favorite in ME2 but ME3 gave him a boost for me.

Legion. Despite some inconsistencies I noticed in his writing, I still like my little robot guy. RIP, buddy, sorry your sacrifice was kind of for nothing.

Grunt. Similar to Thane, ME3 (and especially the Citadel DLC) made me like Grunt more than I did upon his introduction to the series. He wasn't as important, but his enthusiastic welcome and his "last stand" made me feel like a proud mama.

Samara. I liked Samara enough in ME2 to try to flirt with her, so I was excited to see her again in this game, but unfortunately, she didn't have much to do. Then again, she doesn't really need to, given that her arc is to accept being a mother to her remaining child rather than her jailor. I still felt like there was lingering unspoken sexual tension between her and Shepard though...

Wrex. It was good to see Wrex again, and I sincerely love how the game portrays his openness to cooperation as the key to saving his people.

James. I feel like James fulfilled the Krogan Companion role for me in this game, which is: I like him, but not enough to bring him anywhere. His flirting was rather alarming to me at first since I had every intention of reuniting with Kaidan and didn't want to turn James down so early, but when it became clear that he wasn't serious about any of it, I liked playing along, though really femshep doesn't have a choice in the matter.

Javik. Don't get me wrong, Javik is incredibly interesting and I think he's a critical companion to take on a lot of missions because the Prothean perspective is so unique and necessary in some instances (seriously, how did Liara not realize her goddess looked suspiciously similar to Javik). As a person, though, my Paragon Shepard didn't really gel with him. Also, my Shepard is rather sentimental and values memories, so I may have accidentally doomed Javik to a tragic post-game death with that memory shard. Oops.

Kasumi. Speaking of dooming people with memories! I told Kasumi to keep her lover's memories last game, which felt meaningful to my Shepard at the time since it happened before Horizon and I was still playing a lovesick Shepard who missed Kaidan and could empathize with her situation. That was, uh, maybe not the right call to make, and I'm a little sad that I basically condemned Kasumi to waste away her life reliving the past.

Miranda. I don't really have a lot to say about Miranda. She lived in my game, and I thought it was a good end for her character to finally fight back against her father. But she is rather bland to me, and I almost wish they kept her the cold-hearted bitch she was introduced as, just more sympathetic. You know, kinda like...

Jack. I like Jack A LOT more in this game than in ME2. I think putting her in a teacher role was a perfect decision that displays her impressive growth as a person and her ability to overcome her traumatic past to give future generations of biotics a better life. However, she is still Jack, and her inherent abrasiveness meant I always felt like I was walking on eggshells picking dialogue options with her.

Jacob. Unlike almost everyone else on this list, I downgraded Jacob. I didn't mind him so much when I was playing, really - I liked that he was having a baby and that meant he would get the chance to be a better father than his own was, and I liked the little get-together I had with him in the Citadel DLC. I thought he was still a little boring but nothing offended me. After learning he can cheat on femshep though? Yikes, dude.

Zaeed. I wouldn't say I hated him as I did in ME2. He was just... there.

Miscellaneous. I liked Samantha Traynor MUCH more than I liked Kelly Chambers, so I was glad to see her fill the role. She was resourceful and a bit awkward but not annoyingly so. Let's just say, if I was actually in the ME universe, I'd probably be Traynor. Steve Cortez was also a great addition. I grew to care about him a lot, and I'm glad Bioware gave us a face for the person driving our shuttle around lol. Diane Allures is, uh... there. Dr. Chakwas and Joker are great as always. That goes without saying.

THE ENDINGS

I want to preface this by saying I thought the ending before the ending, aka the Illusive Man standoff, was well done. I was a renegade every time I talked to him, meaning for my last action I was able to shoot him point blank and he was able to give an ending speech about how he wished Shepard saw the Earth as he did. I thought this was an interesting angle for my Shepard to take since she was so Paragon in ME1 that she was able to talk Saren down. Having the ability to do the same with the Illusive Man and not taking it gave me the chance to show some growth in my Shepard, finally willing to put her foot down and abandon the moral high ground when dealing with the person who both resurrected and ruined her life.

Now to the final endings. I will not be discussing the Control ending, as I immediately dismissed it as a possibility. It was what the Illusive Man wanted, and if my Shepard was anything, she was staunchly contrarian to Illusive Man's ideology. That's to say nothing of what I think of it, which is - eh. I think it's a good ending for a renegade Shepard, and possibly a paragon Shepard that wasn't as anti-Illusive Man as mine was. Still, the other two endings are what I want to talk about.

I will also not be calling the reaper AI the Star Child because I think it's misleading. To me, the child-like appearance seemed like a ploy to appeal to Shepard, and I didn't want to forget that this is essentially the same AI that appeared on the Arrival DLC asteroid I hurtled into a mass relay just to tell me he was going to destroy me. With that in mind, when he gave me my options and explained what synthesis would mean, I took a long, long time deliberating on what to do. The game presents this option as the unquestioningly best one to take. After all, it's the hardest ending to obtain, it's the option the reaper AI clearly favors, and it's the default platform you're standing on when it comes time to choose.

But here's the problem: if I were Shepard, even a paragon Shepard, even a Shepard who loves EDI and respects the geth, as mine did, I would not choose Synthesis. Because I can't trust that what he says would happen. I asked him why it would work this time around when all their other attempts at synthesis were horrific failures, and all he said was "they were not ready. You are ready." Even for a seemingly all-knowing AI, that's not enough to convince me to fling my body into a particle beam and potentially give up on this one and only chance to stop the reapers for good. Of course, as a player, I can use context clues to know that it WOULD happen. I'm playing a video game after all, and this choice is presented honestly to the player. But I decided to think as Shepard at that moment, not as myself.

He's also... wrong. He says conflict with synthetic life is inevitable, but it isn't. My Shepard knows this. She obtained peace between the quarians and the geth, and she's watched as EDI grew into her own kind and compassionate human consciousness. So while it sucks that they will have to die in the destroy ending, I ultimately chose it because 1) my Shepard can actually see it happen and know that she sacrificed her life for something real, not just a promise of what could happen, 2) destroying the reapers was what the whole galaxy unified to do and they didn't agree to anything else, and 3) destroying the reapers gives organic life a second chance to live and learn from their mistakes and to do better by synthetic life in the future. Maybe, in the wake of Shepard's sacrifice, the galaxy would see that they can work together, and ensure any future synthetic life will never be abused as the geth were.

But there was another reason I didn't choose Synthesis: it didn't make sense. I'm not talking about its practical application, although the space magic it takes to imbue technology into the DNA of every living organism in the galaxy is a little hard to stomach even by Mass Effect standards. I'm talking about its thematic purpose. Throughout all of Mass Effect, the main message has been that working together and sympathizing with people fundamentally different from you is critical to making positive change in the universe, DESPITE the differences. Synthesis, as a solution, is suggesting that conflict is inevitable until you ERASE the differences. This isn't letting people take the time and effort necessary to truly learn about and understand others, this is a no-effort solution that negates that very core theme. It's like saying there would be no conflict in the world if everyone on Earth were of the same race and nationality, because, one, that isn't true, and two, that solution erases so many beautifully diverse cultures that would have existed otherwise. To me, the Destroy ending allows the galaxy to rebuild what was lost while preserving most of the diversity that is so important to keep, especially since the diversity that was lost, namely the geth, theoretically CAN be rebuilt.

There's also another thematic problem: the conflict between synthetics and organics was not the main conflict in Mass Effect. Sure, it took up a lot of screen time in ME1, but it always felt secondary to the conflict between all other organics. There were tensions between the alien council species and the humans, there was tension between the krogan and the turians and salarians, there was tension between humans and humans, there was tension everywhere you looked. Your role was to be a mediator, a shepherd. You guided the people toward a better understanding of themselves and others, and by doing that, you were able to achieve impossible things together. Synthetic life was only a piece of that puzzle. But by making the conflict ONLY about synthetics and organics, it undermines the things we learned about other organics. If this solution was only meant for the quarians and humans, maybe it would make sense - these species have already achieved AIs that they could come into conflict with. But WHY should I make this decision for the krogan, an alien species not even close to developing AI advanced enough to go to war with? Why is it fair to them that I'm rewriting their DNA to ensure they never see a war that they might have never seen anyway? Haven't they already seen enough outside meddling in their bodily autonomy?

So I chose Destroy. And since I had enough war assets, I was able to avoid mass devastation, and somehow Kaidan seems to think Shepard is still alive. Oh, look, I guess she is. Not sure how that's possible, but I'll take slim hope. Overall, I was satisfied with my ending, although I was sad that I had to deny life to the synthetics that wanted it.

Then I watched the Synthesis ending and saw that it was basically perfect. Besides Shepard dying, everything is just better. Everyone understands each other now, there's no more disease, no more death, EDI is alive, and apparently, everyone is just cool with their new DNA. It was a utopia. And I thought that kinda went against everything I saw in Mass Effect. Sure, there are good choices, and some are definitely better than others, but rarely should there be perfect or easy choices. I'm not saying Synthesis should be a bad ending, by all means, make it a good one. Make it the best one, even. But it shouldn't be perfect. Maybe some people are upset that they were genetically altered against their will (hell, my Shepard had an existential crisis about this after learning how she was resurrected by Cerberus, and it's not a fate she would have imposed on anyone anyway). Maybe the husks and other synthetics that were once organics live a hellish existence in between existences and can never reconcile with their living loved ones. I dunno, something. Like I said before: thematically, it doesn't follow what was learned in the narrative, and therefore should not be the perfect solution to problems that the solution had nothing to do with.

I want to stress that I'm not judging anyone who chose the Synthesis ending. I deliberated it a long time for a reason: it is a promising conclusion if you want to avoid Control and you want to save EDI and the geth. I totally understand that. I just think the way that choice is presented and executed by Bioware is clunky and counterproductive to the narrative. I've also seen people dismiss the Destroy ending as genocide, and I won't argue that. It IS genocide, if you consider synthetics a valid form of life in this game, as I did. But I chose it anyway because doing so would stop the reapers who were the Ultimate Genocide Machines, and if there was any situation where genocide could be justified to stop genocide, uh, I guess that would be it. Sure, Synthesis would finally give organics a chance to understand and cooperate with the reapers, but that is only on the basis that everyone fundamentally change themselves at the request of the reapers under threat of mutual annihilation. The reapers had made no effort to truly understand and sympathize with organics outside of their one-sided conversations with Shepard until this point, so I didn't really feel bad I was killing them all, to be honest with you.

Okay, so, those were my thoughts on Mass Effect. This took a whole day to write. As frustrated as some parts of the game made me, I loved the rest, and I'm very glad I played it. Giving it a score like the other parts feels wrong, since I know now it's all part of a whole, but if I had to give it one, I'd say 8.5/10. I'll be missing my crew for some time, I think. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my thoughts on this franchise!

Now onto Andromeda...

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

I have accidently made myself emotional by thinking about Gyogi and what the word sensei means to Splinter.

This ended up being half about Gyogi and half about Yuuta. Under a readmore cause it got long.

There's some stuff that remains the same across all my au's, and Gyogi is one of them. He was Splinter's sensei and beloved uncle, as well as Yuuta's younger brother and opposite in several key ways.

The shortest explaination of the difference between Gyogi and Yuuta is that Yuuta was a good ninja but a lousy father, whereas Gyogi was a good man and a bad ninja.

The long explantion is this:

Yuuta valued the clan above all else, and was willing to go to any lengths to preserve the clan. This meant that even if he knew something was morally wrong, if he believed it was best for the clan, he would do it e.g. killing all the Oroku family and then kidnapping their son. Honour meant very little to him.

His family also always came second to the clan - whilst he did love his children, he was much more focused on the clan than on them, and it also influenced his decision to name Yoshi his heir rather than Saki. In my aus, Splinter was the younger son but was Yuuta's heir because, even though he did see Saki as his son and loved him as such, Yuuta saw Saki as Oroku Keiji's child and doubted that the rest of the clan's leadership would accept an Oroku over his biological son as the next clan head.

This had the knock on effects of him a) not caring about Yoshi's interest or dreams, because you're going to be the leader one day, put that paint brush down and practice your ninjutsu; b) fostering a rivalry between his sons and c) giving his sons an extremely warped view of what parental love should be like.

Point a resulted in Splinter dropping all his non-ninja related interests, because he was taught none of them matter.

B ended up destroying Splinter and Saki's relationship, because even before Shen they were essentially competing for any scrap of love and attention they could get. Also meant that they stopped relying on each other for help and resentment just grew and grew until one day it exploded.

C also gave both men trauma that massively effected how they raised their own kids. My au Shredders who are more similar to 12 Shredder (so, without spoilers: Stolen Child, Step dad Splinter au Shredder, GS2, Timeskip), all believed they were good fathers to Karai. Yes he hurt and threatened her, but as far as he was concerned you're supposed to fear your father's wrath. You're supposed to be terrified of disappointing him. Praise and affection are things that kids have to earn, not something you just give because that's your baby and all children deserve to know they are loved.

Meanwhile for my more canon compliant Splinters, he jumps between being over protective and not spending enough time with his kids, because he's trying to find a happy medium between stern authoritarian and letting his kids have space to be themselves and explore their interests, and isn't quite managing it. He's trying to be a better father than Yuuta because he recognises that Yuuta's parenting wasn't great, but Splinter hasn't realised that he didn't deserve to be treated that way, which complicates his attempts to be better.

The above just made the Tang Shen situation worse, because even though they properly didn't realise it, Shen was one of the few people that made those two feel safe and loved, which meant neither was going to back down. Also in a lot of ways, Shen chosing Yoshi was the straw that broke the camel's back, rather than being the sole reason Shredder went off the deep end. It's also why Shredder is still obsessed with her 15+ years post death - he sees her as the only person who ever truely loved him, and blames Splinter for taking that away from him.

So, er, Splinter has some very mixed and complicated feelings about his father.

Gyogi, by contrast, was a very honourable and compassionate individual. He had a strict moral code that he stuck to. He saw the value of all life, and regarded life itself as something precious and deserving of both protection and respect ("There is no monster greater than a lack of compassion."). Murder, to Gyogi, was also a last resort - he very much believed that you don't kill if you can main, don't main if you can disarm, don't disarm until you've tried to de-escalate, and don't de-escalate until you've offered your hand.

Perhaps because he was the second son, he was also able to put his family above the clan - if Yoshi was sick, Yuuta would tell him to push through, because one day he'd be sick during a mission and needed to learn how to handle that situation, whereas Gyogi would be like "Take the day off, and we will see how you're feeling tomorrow."

He was still a strict teacher and had high expectations for Splinter, mind, but he was the type of teacher where you know his standards are like that because he genuinely believes you're capable of achieving greatness and wants to help you get there. And if he pushed too hard, he was humble enough to admit to that.

This all means that Gyogi was kind of a terrible fit for being a ninja. He was ninjutsu Master from a long line of Ninjutsu masters, part of the last Ninja Clan, and he valued life and compassion whilst detesting murder.

Which does raise of question of why Yuuta let Gyogi train his heir. The answer to that is Yuuta wanted to keep an eye on Saki, and Gyogi was extremely talented in ninjutsu and also an excellent teacher. Yuuta saw his youngest son's horrible temper, and realised that Gyogi was their best bet on helping Yoshi get a handle of it (in ageswap, this also means that Raph trained under Gygoi, whilst Leo and Karai were trained under Yuuta).

So, when Splinter thinks of his father, he remembers a strict disciplinarian. He remembers a man who put the clan first, and his children third (maybe fourth, depends on how many problems the clan was having). Someone who pit him and his older brother against each other. Who loved them, he really did, but didn't know what to do with Splinter, and didn't really try because what was the point of encouraging Yoshi's dreams when his future was already planned out? Splinter remembers a man who did try, but fell short. He thinks of discipline and putting others before your family.

But when Splinter thinks of sensei, he remembers an achingly kind man who loved the world around him. Who put others before himself, and loved his nephews. He gave Splinter the space to be himself, and whilst his standards were high, they weren't impossible to reach.

So Splinter ends up with a complicated and somwhat reversed idea of what it means to be a father and what it means to be a sensei, which ends up clashing with his sons' understanding of those terms. (Generational trauma! Woo!) Part of GS2 will be about unpacking that, though this is something that will appear in my other aus too.

(Also, someone please get this man a therapist)