#which more nad more is gonna include what has become before because

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

OH THEYRE GONNA GIVE HIM THERAPY

[kelvintimeline]

STEPHANIE’S POST ACTUALLY SEEING ENDGAME REVIEW--SPOILER FILLED LIST OF EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TIHS MOVIE I COULD NOTICE IN BETWEEN MENTAL RANTS

 okay, so, during the movie, i spent hafl the time compiling rants in my brain about eveyrthing wrong with it and then emailed myself every point so i would not forget what made me mad

this is one of the most passively racist and sexist movies i have seen in a while it was just... completely devoid of any meaningful women or people of color (or... women of color) for so much of the film? and those who were present got shafted a lot. like... literally all of the women except for nebula existed to tell a man’s story.

which brings me to the point that we NEED to talk about the theme of family in this movie--it’s constantly brought up. clint misses his family, tony now has a family (because just dating someone isnt’ a family? this is a very nuclear famiyl oriented understanding of family), gamora and nebula are family, natasha never knew her family but the avengers are her family

and tha’s the crux of it--natasha calls the avengers her family, steve calls avengers family, but that’s not good enough to save her

when natasha and clint are on the cliff, clint makes a great point about why he should die--he’s become a terrible person (he spends half the movie just killing “evil people” who are all people of color, see: talking about how racist this movie is--literally “ronin” clint is better at a samurai sword than a japanese man and now speaks japanese?? why?? it felt like a bad martial arts parody movie--like those racist movies ppl would make about white men slaughtering samurais just not GOOD) and natasha has finally erased the red in her ledger by doing good. natasha dies anyways (literally forces him to kill her) because she’s stopped being useful to her “family” and his family is an actual family.

which brings me to--steve and natasha explicitly talk about two things--how they are family and how it is important to move on.

moving on is a CENTRAL part of this movie--the time travel works in large part so everyone can move on from their losses. thor moves on from his mother’s death, tony gets closure with his father, clint gets what should have been a last moment seeing his happy family, etc. steve gets to see peggy.

steve does not move on. steve LITERALLY HAS MULTIPLE LINES ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO MOVE ON AND STEVE DOES NOT MOVE ON. steve tells a gay man mourning his dead husband while trying to date someone new that moving on is important and steve still goes back in time to stay with peggy.

what’s worse, steve goes back in time and tells bucky to wait for hima nd not do anything stupd KNOWING HE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT BACK BECAUSE HES CHOOSING TO LIVE OUT HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN TEH PAST.

what’s EVEN WORSE THAN THAT--literally right the fuck after bucky and sam gets dusted he’s alreayd thinking about peggy? he never once mentions sam/bucky besides a quick mention of bucky being alive to trick past steve.

more fucked up shit around sam/bucky/steve--sam offers to go back with him but bucky doesn’t?? when old man steve returns, bucky doens’t even try to talk to him? despite being the one to notice him? steve doesn’t stand with bucky and sam at tony’s funeral why?

steve and bucky and sam and so many otehres are FAMILY but not enough family to make steve stay

steve aint worthy

steve apparently DID STAY IN THIS FUCKING TIMELINE? since he didn’t return via the pym particles or wahtever he literally aged into the present AND LET EVERY BAD THING HAPPEN YOu DON’T DO THAT TO PEOPLE YOU LOVE HE LET HYDRA AND TEH WINTER SOLDIER PROGRAM HAPPEN??

unless i don’t udnerstand the time travel--> separate unierse thing which is possible BECAUSE ITS’ FUCKING STUPID

if the universe splits into a different universe when the stones are removed--this would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TIMELINE WHEN THANOS DESTROYED THE STONES which means when tehy returned hte stones, they actually would’ve reverted back to the timeline before he destroyed the stones-an infinite loop

why couldn’t they snap tehir dead back to life?

where did thanos’ army come from?

when his army disappeared why didn’t gamora disappear too?

did they think i would forget that they could de-age people? scott was turned young again--why can’t they make steve young agian, lmao

why didn’t steve take every single vial of particles he could get? like he only took a couple ie as many as were necessary for the plot

how did thanos/gamora/nebula travel on only one vial? why werne’t other ppl sharing vials then??

why was okoye gone all film? like the answer is misogynoir but like... seriosuly why?

WHY DID TONY BLAME STEVE FOR THE SNAP HAPPENING?

WHY DID STEVE SPEND LTIERALLY THE ENTIRE FILMT ELLING TONY HE TRUSTS HIM, THAT TONY IS RIGHT (EVEN WHEN HE WAS EXPLICITLY WRONG AND WAS PROVEN TO BE WRONG), AND THEN CRYING OVE RHIM?

also they still fucked up the timelines?? the timelines are changed AFTER they removed the stones nad yet they did shit to fuck up the timelines trying to get the stones--which means every dumb ass thing they did to get eth stones remains in the timeline. unless steve returns the stones to BEFORE they actually took the stones, in whcih? that makes no sense?

nebula’s “network” connection between her prsent and past self made no sense either

thor literally made valkyrie (who hadn’t been with the asgardians from many years) queen so that they could write her out of his movies as he’s not a member of GOTG

ltos of girl power moments actually worked like that--every time a woman did something cool, it was to harm her in some way. valkyrie is “queen” so she’s no longer relevant to thor’s plot

the moment where all of the girls (besides the dead ones :) ) teamed up just had them get beaten down in teh end? like it was for nothing? that’s not... girl power. also, they wouldn’t even be able to fit all of the important men into one screen so it’s just embarrassing

talking about weird shit about women--EVEYR woman EVER in the series comes back but they don’t even mention sharon, the girl steve was dating, at all, like even confirm if she was dusted or not, beacuse they know that makes steggy look bad

literally even JANE got new moments but sharon couldn’t come up

talking about jane--making thor hung up on her is fucking weird he has a girlfriend? who he treats like shit, tbf. thor’s character was an extended fat joke. he liteally says he isn’t fit to be king and that he was just pretending aftter getting a speech from his mother saying that isn’t true. ragnarok thor was killed off in the worst way. also his mother literally existing just to be like... an emotional spport woman was misgoynistic as fuck lmao

like thor’s cahracter WHOMST?

also, like, the hail hdyra moment was the nastiness shit i’ve seen in a long fucking time?? including antisemitism in your movie just ot reference a comic book run that was panned by both people who hate antisemitism and also antisemitic fanboys who like good writing (like it just wasn’t written well) is just... antisemitic. it was a reference for anti semitism’s sake

the moments they choose to get this shit was also so fuckign arbitrary? you couldn’t retrieve half these stones at like... normal times? also how did they know where to find them in the shield vaults or like where to find the pym particles

the writing in this movie was just ‘what is most convenient for moving the plot along/fanservice/humanizing tony’

talking about humanizing tony did pepper give birth like the sceond after the snap? their child is so old for a five year time skip like... i guess since tony didn’t lose anyone in the snap besides peter it didn’t affect how horny he was

also the peter/tony stuff was so oevrblown???????? THEY WEREN’T CLOSE?? TONY TREATED HIM LIKE SHIT FOR 80% OF HOMECOMING??

its so nice and convenient that ned got snapped too--all of peter’s friends get snapped so no one is 22 and out of high school (also i refuse to watch far from home because i feel like old man steve dying is just gonna be a fly by comment)

talking about the snap--the list of names in the graveyard made sense but it felt like a war/actual genocide memorial and it felt... cheap and gross and also why teh fuck was it placed in that random part of town?

ALSO LIKE?? wanda and clint talk and they make it seem like vision and natasha’s death are equally bad the mcu rly does just ahte women

also the women all get make overs?? why is natasha dying her hair in the middle of the end of the world

why did tony get a funeral but natasha doesn’t?

the guardians having a funny moment with thor instead of discussing gamora felt........ bad

there were two steves in the main universe how the fuck does that make sense?????? how does that not affect the timeline also what happened to peggy’s husbAND?

there are other things wrong with it but this is all i wrote down in my emails to myself. there were a lot of individual moemnts that pissed me off but then something else would happen to piss me off and i would forget what i was mad about before that

[blackjacketmuses]

hc; sparda 8

Basically, a few things came up while I was thinking about Sparda in his youth, and this is a more detailed headcanon of what he was like as a youth, before and during his time with Mundus and stuff about the war and how his personality grew and changed, etc etc. More of a personality focused history headcanon this time.

Cut for length!

Sparda at his youngest, right after he became an adult (refresher, his species is an insectoid one that has a larval form, before forming a chrysalis and hatching into an adult form) was...okay, I’m just gonna link a few videos here, because this is what inspired this thought process: This Guy Right Here, Ravana from FFXIV. Some choice quotes here that I’ll put down in case you don’t want to watch a bunch of videos featuring a giant bug battlegod --- “To live is but to fight.” / “Rejoice in the glory of combat!”. And just...generally his entire final phase theme, which is hilariously ridiculous (second link, it’s something special). Also probably mix in a good bit of this guy here, too, Susanoo also from FFXIV, because yes I say so. (If you watch any Susanoo vid, watch the second link, because that is the most badass thing ever.) 

To put it in less general terms, young Sparda was absolutely fucking ridiculous, a blood knight battle seeker who valued strength and gloried in combat, who sought strength and power by pitting himself against basically anyone who would fight him, who did have honor and some kind of morality (a little blue and orange, but he wouldn’t fight anyone weaker than him or someone who wouldn’t fight back, so there’s that) but generally was running on 100% I’LL FIGHT YOU I’LL FIGHT YOUR MOM I’LL FIGHT MYSELF I’LL FIGHT ANYONE LET’S GO at all times, and reveled, who rejoiced in the fight almost more than Dante does at his best. An absolute lunatic, looked down on for being small, but who threw himself at everyone he possibly could just for a good time and a good fight and to get stronger.

This is both how he met the people who would become his followers --- including Modeus and Baul --- and his best friends --- Phineas and Rodin (my OCs shhhh) --- as well as Mundus himself. Several people, when defeated by him, swore loyalty or fealty or simply to follow nad learn from such a skilled swordsman, and though at the time Sparda really didn’t give a shit about being a leader, just seeking more fights and more power, he allowed it anyway out of loneliness and desire for comrades that could keep up. Phineas and Rodin, a demon mage of the same race as Mundus’ lieutenant Griffon and a legendary demonic weaponsmith respectively, did not fight Sparda when challenged (...okay, Phineas didn’t.) but saw in him potential for something more than just a mindless seeker of combat and power and decided to throw their lot in. Mundus kicked his ass the first time they fought, and Sparda loved every second of the fight, so he threw his lot in with Mundus, and his people followed.

Eventually, though, Mundus set his sights on the human world, and curious as to why, Sparda left the demon world and many of his men to investigate humanity. They were so weak and helpless, barely worth fighting, so why would Mundus seek so to dominate them? There wasn’t a point, in his mind, so he wanted to see why. He took a human form for the first time, then, to walk among them, and after a while found it fun to handicap himself as this human form, fighting as a human against other humans. He got a name for himself as a mercenary of sorts around then, a white haired swordsman wandering around and fighting all comers, fighting whoever asked. He didn’t think about anything, really, more curious as to his friend’s desire to conquest and why he’d want to conquer humans than any consequences or any details --- and even then he got sidetracked by his new game, despite the few friends who accompanied him warning him against this.

This came to a head in a horrible incident that changed everything, forever. A human approached Sparda outside a small village he’d been staying in for a while, one where most of the men had gone out for some reason or other (so he’d sort of volunteered to babysit these innocents for the shits and giggles, like watching a nest and fending off predators), and requested him to hunt and kill a group of evil humans that had been menacing the village, pointing him towards a camp a day or so out of town. However...he had been tricked. The human was no human, but a weak demon in Mundus’ employ, weak enough to have escaped Sparda’s notice, and it had sent Sparda to kill the village’s menfolk, who had gone hunting for the demons menacing their village. He only found this out once he had killed them all, and in a panic he ran back to the village only to find it decimated by demons in his absence, leaving nothing but ashes and horrifically massacred women and children. This nearly broke him entirely, the realization of what he had done in his eagerness for combat and blindness of anything beyond that, what his arrogance and pride had wrought, and what Mundus truly wished to do to humans, to innocent ones who couldn’t even fight back.

Phineas and Rodin were who found him after that, and it was then that Sparda swore to stop Mundus and protect humanity. He couldn’t be what he’d been until this point, as this is what it would cause. He couldn’t disregard what his friend --- former friend --- was doing, and he had to atone for this terrible mistake he’d made. He remained in the human world after that, refusing to return to the Underworld until he meant to fight Mundus, and focused his energy on learning from humanity the right way, not just continuing to fight and ignoring what kind of beings humans were. This is when he truly did fall in love with humanity, the way they were so much more than what he’d been, what demons were --- they had love and compassion and kindness, they had lives that were more than just combat and strength. He took the lessons he learned among them to heart, and evolved into his final, true form with them--- and no longer was he the same battle-mad fool he was before, but someone more tempered, more cautious, someone who could live as a man, not just a mindless seeker of combat.

He didn’t seek praise or commendation for his actions, protecting humans; he simply meant to guard the innocent and weak, the fascinating and so incredible humans, from being destroyed and subjugated, simply meant to make up for his mistakes and his previous behavior. But humans began to admire him and worship him, praise him and call him a legend, and though it made him uncomfortable, he took it in stride, not stopping it because the kind words were not something a demon ever received. 

Some of his associates from the Underworld came to join his fight, and he met new ones as well, and they became his sort-of army, more a band of rebels than a true army. Rodin and Phineas were his right-hand men, his generals of sorts, and together they fought. In the end, he returned to the Undereorld once more to seal away Mundus --- those of his men he left behind there, such as Modeus and Baul, he promised to see them again, but others went with him when he crossed to the human world to seal the worlds apart, such as Phineas and Rodin. In a move that showed just how much he had changed, he used his own sword, his own power-given-form, to seal the tower that formed the passage, and gave up much of his strength in the process. He could not gain more, though several of his lieutenants gave themselves to him as Arms, and thus he slipped away into legend. 

While he had cared for humans, and fought for them, he felt no connection to them --- he stayed apart, watching, lonely save for his Arms and his two best friends (who would come and go from his side), and never reached out to bridge the gap. He thought he couldn’t, he had no right to, as he was a demon, and over time his legend had taken a form of its own that he didn’t feel comfortable or deserving of shattering by making his presence known. He had become a legend, and that legend had become what he was--- to go among them would ruin that, and he didn’t want to do so. 

In a way, Sparda had no identity of his own --- he went from a battle hungry demon with no real higher thought beyond combat, to the legend and protector of humanity because he thought that’s what was needed to make up for his mistake, formed a personality and identity based on what the humans needed from him, based on how best to function among them; not what he wanted to be, or what he sought to be, but what he thought best to be. A noble warrior, a hero, polite and eloquent and honorable, soft-spoken and kind but distant and elegant. It was who Sparda became, but not quite who he was. Not yet.

For a time, his perceived obligation to humanity led him to sit as lord of Fortuna, but after a century or so he abandoned it to those humans and faded away again. He found his way to Vie de Marli a little later, and aided them again out of obligation, but found them kind and welcoming to him, and he became a patron and protector of their island. As they were made up of hybrids and witches and other things, he felt more at home there than most other places in the human world. Aside from that, he mainly traveled the world, fighting demons that tried to attack humans --- both because it was all he knew how to do, and because of his obligations and his status as legend he felt he had to uphold and preserve.

He mostly remained apart from humans, despite this, though he kept a human identity (or more than one, over the years) in order to have basic human needs such as money, or property, or a way to interact with humans without disclosing who he was. He stayed apart and distant, unable to commit to living in the human world among them, but unable to tear himself away from it due to his obligation and legend. Not truly knowing himself anymore contributed to that, and it was something that Phineas and Rodin --- and his friend from Vie de Marli, a hybrid named Ester and nicknamed Matier --- constantly pushed him about, to get him to settle and find himself and try to really live instead of wander and fight, find who he was and forget about his legend and perceived obligation.

However, eventually --- in 1965 --- he met Evangeline ‘Eva’ Maylis, a witch, and things changed again. She was stubborn, hot-headed, strong willed and fought hard for her ideals, but she was also kind and caring and empathetic, and though their first few meetings were quite rocky, she was somehow able to draw out parts of Sparda not even he was aware of, soft and awkward and silly, ridiculous and excitable, and was able to help him forge a true identity for himself as a man apart from what and who he was to the world at large and what he thought he had to be. He fell in love with her, and with her found himself at last, the man he could be, somewhere between the youthful warrior he once was and the legend he’d tried to be for so long--- and they were eventually married, eventually had children, and...well, the rest you know. He did slip more into his more formal and polite attitude in public, but in private with his family he was his own person at last.

After his rescue, it’s hard for him to slip back into the man he was as Aaron Iskandar, as the twins’ father and Eva’s husband and nothing else --- he’s so wounded by all that’s happened that he’s trying to pull up that old sense of obligation, that sense of needing to be alright and an example and a rock for his boys to lean on, and that and his guilt really isn’t helping him any. But he’ll manage and find where he lost himself eventually.

[snakecolumn95]

12 People On How They Got Motivated To Exercise Before They Felt “Fit Enough” For The Gym

For the past six months, I’ve been exercising more frequently than I have since I was a 15-year-old taking dance class for a dozen or so hours a week. I even put a little pink dot for each day I go to a pilates or step class because a) I’m a goober, and b) it’s incredibly motivating to see you’ve achieved some sort of streak, because you don’t want to break it. After tallying up my dots since January, I can see that I’ve attended about four classes a week on average so far this year.

It’s been difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly got me motivated to start going to more group fitness classes in the first place. An easy explanation is that I simply make more money than I used to, so it’s easier to cover the cost of a gym membership that includes classes than it would have been when I was 22 and broke. But while more budgeting wiggle room means I have more options, I know there are plenty of lower-cost options in the city that I could find (there are yoga studios founded on a pay-what-you-want basis, and the city’s recreation centers offer a fair amount of classes at a pretty low yearly membership cost).

Realistically, I know part of it is because I started off in decent-enough physical shape that the classes didn’t feel so difficult. To me, nothing is less motivating in an exercise environment than feeling like I can’t keep up. It doesn’t matter that I may not look as “fit” as the other people in a class — as long as I can get through each exercise, I have no problem getting through and returning to a class. But when I can’t get through a class being able to do at least some version of everything taught, I start to think, What is even the point? And I get really discouraged from returning. This time around, though, I started off on a slightly better foot: I had been going to yoga about twice a week for a full year. It wasn’t the same as more “difficult” types of exercise (and the vinyasa classes I was attending were decidedly not advanced), but because my body was already used to some regular physical activity, I could tell I was having an easier go of getting used to more rigorous classes.

I’m by no means a fitness expert, but I definitely recommend this semi-strategy of starting with “easier” classes and keeping with them for a good long time before trying something more challenging. I wanted to reach out to others who have managed to successfully adopt a regular fitness routine to see what motivated them in the beginning, before they felt like they were “fit enough” to be at the gym. (And I will say, it sucks that it’s so common for gyms to be discouraging of people who aren’t already considered “in shape,” but I think it’s really common to feel discouraged.) Some of their answers were really practical, while others quite came from a more emotional place — and all could be super useful for many people to hear. Here’s what they had to say:

1. “I started running because I needed to get healthy (per a doctor) and BECAUSE it was essentially free (I already owned shoes). I’m competitive, so adding different milestones motivated me, and then I realized it was a great hobby/oddly social thing (free running clubs!).” – Moira

2. “Ugh, I hate that I have become someone who loves fitness. Classpass is an excellent option, especially for those who do NOT work a 9-5 — as their classes are priced based on availability, and mid-morning/early-afternoon classes often cost 1/2 of rush hour classes!” – Mackenzie

3. “Starting a food Instagram! I didn’t really care about building an audience, just used it to scroll through healthy food + workouts, and then did daily posts/stories to keep myself accountable. Finally lost ~40 lbs after this change.” – Natasha

4. “I found a really great program with Barre3, which has a crazy affordable online program with hundreds of videos. They focus on strengthening the body and mind and have an energy that’s both hyped and calming??” – Jen

5. “My mentor died of a heart attack and then my dad had a serious stroke. I figured, if I can’t control anything that might kill me, it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be developing diabetes or high blood pressure (both run on both sides of my family).” – Yung

6. “I gained my ‘freshman 15’ as a senior in college and wanted to get back to what I was before, so I started running. That turned into half marathons, triathlons, trail running, yoga and strength training. I do not pay for any memberships. Home or being outdoors works for me.” – Megan

7. “What helped me work out more often was to kick diet culture in the metaphorical nads. Exercise is movement. What movement do you find fun and enjoyable? Or that makes you feel that rush of endorphins?” – Vix

8. “Save money on gas/be more sustainable = bike 11 miles to work. I run with my dog to exercise him, not because I love it. Six months in, I’m actually motivated to work out for my mental health and have a group workout I do with folks who live on my block in addition to the cardio.” – Giselle

9. “I track my macros and lift weights! I tried c25k but I’m lagging a lot haha. I’ve lost 20lbs so far. I started a fitness Instagram to hold me accountable, and I track my food with Lifesum and my workouts with the JeFit app! Both are free! I started getting into fitness because I  had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night. I felt like my life was spiraling and I had no control over anything in my life. I felt like my desire to eat was controlling me. So I made a conscious effort to hold myself accountable and start working out! Now I feel the best I’ve felt in a long time! Both physically and mentally!” – Sid

10. “Socialization! I knew exactly zero people when I moved here, and I joined a (free!) trail running group full of experienced ultra marathoners just to make friends. No one cared that I wasn’t in the same kind of shape they were. It was motivating, and I made lots of friends.” – Maggie

11. “I joined a boutique gym which is the only thing that works for me. I like the small and interactive classes. It was 1) to meet people and 2) mental health reasons outweighed the physical. I was miserable and the social interaction helped me bounce back. While not cheap, it paid for itself in the benefits not related to being in shape at all. I am planning on getting a bike now that I live somewhere much more conducive to using it regularly.” – Susan

12. “I love Lifetime Athletic if you have one near you. The entire gym is so inspiring and the teachers are amazing. Also, an outside space helps me and new workout clothes.” – Robin

Image via Unsplash

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Source: https://thefinancialdiet.com/12-people-on-how-they-got-motivated-to-exercise-before-they-felt-fit-enough-for-the-gym/