#which might be harsh considering who I’m simping for | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dancingazaleas · 4 years ago

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floch forster | look at you (smut)

yeah i’m a floch simp... i don’t want to talk about it..

anyways enjoy brat tamer!floch or whatever he is in this because i’m on brainrot

edit: i’m sorry if this is bad, when i finished most of it i just wanted it to be over

warnings/notes: smut, cursing, brat tamer!floch, fem!reader, edging, overstimulation, spanking, clit spanking, choking, degradation, praise(if u squint), rough sex, aftercare(cus i love floch), porn without plot, face smacking, squirting, dumbification and spit kink.

ever since you’d woken up that morning, you were in a bad mood. whenever floch would try to hold you while watching a movie, you’d shove his arms away and he would only get to hold you if you forced his arms around you. you had barely spoken to him and whenever he said ‘i love you’ you just hummed in acknowledgment.

so, he decided to take you out to a club, begrudgingly, and invited mikasa, sasha, jean, and niccolo to come along. he assumes connie is tagging along since thing one and thing two never separate.

whenever you hung out with sasha, mikasa, and connie, your spirits seemed to lift. while he was happy, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done something wrong. he tried not to thinking about it too much as he talked with jean and niccolo sparingly.

he decided he’d let it slide, considering you were upset all day. but whenever he saw you speaking to a random man with a flirty look on your face, he decided that enough was enough.

which led you to now, hands pinned down behind your back as floch pulled your dress up over your ass and panties down and off your body.

“i’ve been nice all fuckin’ day, even when you were being a little bitch,” he growls as you try to kick him away while snickering, “and you decide to repay me by acting like a little whore. you better count without complaining and you might just get to cum tonight.”

you stuck your tongue out and turned to face floch, kicking your feet back and forth.

“who says i’m gonna let you,” you taunt and yelp at floch’s hand tangling with your hair and shoving your face into the mattress.

“me. i say. unless it’s not to count, an apology, or the safe-word, you don’t fucking speak,” he lets the hand on your head up.

he waits to see if you respond, but the only one he gets is a pout accompanied by a sharp glare. he keeps eye contact as he gives a harsh slap to your rear.

it has your hips jerking towards floch’s thighs and a sweet yelp falling out of your mouth as you croak out the number ‘one’.

by the time he’s at ten, you’re already tearing up and whining for him to stop. your whines have him spanking you harder than before, telling you that it isn’t the safe-word.

he doesn’t stop his spanking until he’s at the number 17, admiring the pretty crimson starting to form on your asscheek in the shape of a hand print. he lets go of the hands being held behind your back, using it to gently rub over your cheeks.

“crawl up and lay on your back,” he’s gently patting your thigh.

you don’t move, focused on wiping away the tears pouring out of your eyes.

you shake your head, sitting up and facing him on his lap, “don’t wanna, it’ll hurt my ass.”

“you should’ve thought about that before you were a slut,” floch grabs your neck with his right hand and your left thigh with his left hand.

he makes it seem easy whenever he lifts you up and throws you onto the bed. you whine as you watch floch unbutton his black shirt, trying to ignore the slight pain on your ass. he shimmies off of his jeans while you shimmy off your scrunched up dress.

floch straddles your hips, hand grabbing ahold of your neck and putting a small amount of pressure on it. you grab onto his wrist and he hisses as your nails dig into his skin.

“you wanna apologize,” he raises an eyebrow at your smug face.

you open your mouth, trying to catch some of your breath before you speak.

“no,” you give a breathy laugh and flutter your eyes to try and get rid of the tears.

whenever floch removes his hand, it gives you a chance to breathe—even if it’s pointless. because before you know it, floch’s hand slaps at your cheek and it has your head turning to the side. he grabs your jaw with the same hand and jerks your face back to look at him again.

“you sure?”

“yeah,” you’re smirking and manage to spit at him.

he flinches when it hits his nose and the sight makes you snicker, especially whenever he struggles to wipe it away with the back of his hand. but when he does get rid of it, you feel yourself getting the shivers at the neutral expression on his usually sneering face. floch isn’t exactly known for being understanding.

he squeezes your jaw harder, “open your mouth, right now.”

reluctantly, you open your mouth and stick out your tongue, continuing to dig your nails into his wrist anxiously. he gathers his spit towards the inside of his lips and then spits into your mouth harshly. you whine at the feeling of it running down your tongue.

“close,” you keep your mouth open and tongue out.

“you want more,” he laughs, “you’re a dirty whore, wanting me to spit in your mouth like that.”

he spits in your mouth again, but this time it’s slower and—somehow—more seductive. you close your mouth and swallow, suddenly silent compared to before.

“you still don’t want to apologize”, he asks condescendingly and moves his hand away from your jaw.

you’re starting to feel yourself slipping in that small little headspace from all the harsh smacking and you know you won’t get what it is that you want if you keep up your bratty act. it’s going to be a miracle if he even gives you his cock.

“‘m sorry,” you mumble and try to rub your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

“say it louder, don’t mumble your words.”

“i’m sorry floch.”

“you mean that?” lips starting to bite and suck at your neck.

“i do! i do,” you whine, now clawing at his biceps and shoulders when his lips trail down to your tits.

he’s groping at one tit and biting at the other, twisting your perky nipple between his nimble fingers. when he pulls away, he admires the teeth marks he’s made around your areola. and he reeks of arrogance when you whine even louder whenever he licks a stripe back over said marks. but then he leans up to give you a, surprisingly, sweet kiss on your lips that has you humming in satisfaction. you pout at him with a small huff as he pulls away. he scoffs and forces himself in between your rubbing thighs.

“look at you,” he’s laughing again as he holds open your bare folds with his fingers, “you’re soaking, you fuckin’ slut.”

you’re shaking your head at him while he lowers himself to your glistening pussy. as soon as he rubs his tongue across your clit, your fingers are grabbing at the sheets.

he slowly inserts a finger inside of you, opposite arm reaching across your hips to hold them down. your moans raise an octave when he adds a second finger with his first, curling his fingers swiftly.

“gonna... ‘m gonna cum,” you cry while your toes curl and arch your back.

and with that, floch pulls away from your pussy and laughs at your body flopping against the bed while you cry.

“you thought you were gonna get to come so easily? after flirting with some sleazy guy at the club? must’ve slapped you stupid earlier,” his hands rub at your thighs, watching your chest rise up and down.

before you can reply, he’s burying his face back in your pussy again; eating you out as if you were his last meal on death row. his fingers are inside of you again, thrusting in and out of you vigorously. your hips are bucking against the arm holding them down and your fingers are clawing at your sheets.

“pl—please,” you managed to moan out, “gonna cum!”

floch moves his fingers faster and you feel him smirk against your clit. your moans are getting higher and shorter as you start to tip over edge of euphoria. but before you can, floch’s pulling away and chuckling at how your legs start to shake and your whimpers. you moan out whenever floch smacks your clit with the tips of his fingers.

“you’re so dumb,” he scoffs, “you actually think you’re gonna get to cum after the way you’ve acted all day?”

you’re sobbing and whining at this point, now tugging at his hair. he slaps your hands away, going back to torturing your puffy clit with his tongue. you’re legs are trembling whenever he pulls away again.

“please... wanna.. come please,” your lip quivers when floch comes back up to your face.

“ ‘wan, wanna com,” floch mocks your face and voice.

it makes you sniffle and reach up to wrap your arms around his neck. he kisses you.

“god, look at you,” floch groans against your lips, “begging like an obedient whore just to come around my fingers. you’re stupid if you think i’m gonna let you come around anything that isn’t my cock.”

he coos condescendingly, “you want that, needy girl?”

you nod frantically and squeeze your eyes close, tears going to run down your cheeks. floch pulls away and takes off the grey boxer briefs he’s got on. the tip of his cock is an angry red and dripping with precum.

he pumps his cock twice with his right hand before gripping it at the shaft and aligning it at your entrance. he slowly pushes it into you, snorting at your needy moans. he throws his head back with a groan as he bottoms out, and grips at the back of your thighs and pushing the front of them to your torso.

“floch! floch!” you sound like a broken record as you keen his name.

“you gonna come? just from me shoving my cock in you,” he patronizes, “haven’t even moved yet, and you’re already about to cream on my cock.”

he pulls out halfway and quickly thrusts back in and he can’t help but laugh for the umpteenth time at you throwing your head back while you flutter around him. he lets you put your legs around his waist and reaches up to put his hand on your neck and the other one holding up his weight by your head.

you’re crying out his name again when he starts thrusting in and out of you and applies pressure to your windpipe. it, quite literally, leaves you breathless and letting out broken moans.

he squeezes a little tighter for a bit, “do not fucking come.”

you plead and grab at his wrist, trying to ignore how floch’s cock drags against the sweet spongy spot inside of you, how his tip prods at your cervix, and how his hand squeezes against your throat. it leads you towards your orgasm; lower body convulsing against the mattress while your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open in a silent scream.

floch scoffs and takes his hand off of your neck, stilling his hips.

he smacks you, barking at you, “i thought i told you not to come.”

“ ‘m sorry,” you babble, “felt too good..! ‘m sorry.”

he smacks your face again, “it only felt good for you. you’re gonna lay here and let me use you until i come, understand?”

you shake your head whenever he starts thrusting into you again, “sensitive!”

he doesn’t stop thrusting even when he slaps you across the face again, “you’re the one who came without permission, you deal with the consequences. it’s what you get for being a whore anyways.”

with that, you’re coming again within a matter of minutes, mind completely blanking out from all the edging and sudden overstimulation. your eyes glaze over just as floch puts his hand against your neck once again.

floch starts rubbing a thumb on your clit with his other hand, slowly starting to near his orgasm. it has you squirting on his cock with a high pitched moan. he groans and throws his head back at your pussy gripping him like a vise.

“coming inside,” he warns and you just nod and squeeze him absentmindedly.

he comes, groans falling from his lips when his thrusting slows down to grinding while he rides out his orgasm.

he takes a moment to catch his breath, finally pulling his half hard cock out of you. his cups your cheek, gently facing you towards his face.

“you okay? you with me,” he asks softly and rubs his thumb on your cheekbone.

you respond with incoherent mumbles and fluttering eyes. he places a kiss on your cheek and scurries off into your shared bathroom. you hear the water turn on and the opening and closing of different cabinets. floch’s walking towards you with a warm, wet rag in his hand. he wipes away the cum that’s starting to drip out of you and onto the bedsheets, and the temperature sends shivers running down your spine.

he throws the rag into your bathroom—that had its door open—and gently picks you up bridal style. he carries you into the bathroom and carefully puts you into the running water. the pressure on your burn as you whining, especially whenever he slips in behind you.

“you with me now,” he pecks and massages your shoulders.

you hum in response as he lathers soap up in his hands. he washes you silently and cautiously, not wanting to inflict anymore pain unto you.

whenever he’s done washing you, he helps you stand on your wobbly feet. he dries off your hair and for some reason it has you smiling stupidly while ogling him. he gives a little smile when he catches your staring, covering your face in sweet little kisses. you start giggling and pucker your lips in a request of a kiss.

he kisses you continuously, hands gently holding your cheeks after he wraps the towel around your shoulders.

“look at you,” he gives you a kiss and it makes you feel light on your feet, “my beautiful girl.”

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #aot floch #snk floch #floch forster #floch supremacy #floch x reader #snk smut #smut

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shotorozu · 4 years ago

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hii ^—^ if that’s okay, i’d love to request for bakugo, shoto, kirishima and denki when they have to fight with their s/o in sport’s festival. thank you so much in advance!! <3

fighting their s/o in the sports festival

characters : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijirou, kaminari denki

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral, reader has an earthebending quirk because it’s practical

fic type : headcanons [lowkey angst, fluff]

notes : this might be a little shorter than my usual headcanons, so i’d like to apologize for that if it is. also did not proofread, will do so later

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

the fact that you’re his s/o changes nothing about how he’ll fight you

he’ll fight you like any other person at UA, since bakugou believes in equality and fairness— am i right?

he won’t hold back so, i hope you’re ready

on the other hand, you’re quite nervous— since you’re fighting your s/o infront of the entire student body (+ some pro heros)

but compared to what he’d usually do with other matches and fights— he’ll give you a headstart

he’ll let you attack him first

because heck, bakugou’s still quite a softie for his s/o— and he kinda wants to see if you win

(not that he’ll ever show that)

if you win the battle, he’ll be very impressed— even if he’s stuck to the ground, he’ll give you an impressed smirk

if you lose, he’ll kinda tease you like “better luck next time ig ;)”

okay, but if you get really hurt— that’s when he’ll be worried

he’s rough alright, but the last thing bakugou wants to do is hurt you

he’ll drag you to recovery girl, while muttering quiet apologizes, rubbing your temples as you get healed

todoroki shouto

it takes him a few seconds for todoroki to realize that he’s fighting you

and he’ll probably consider dropping out of the match, just because he’s so worried about hurting you

(and becoming like end*avor)

but you have to encourage him, and convince him that you want him to fight you

which he hesitates saying yes to.

once he’s in the actual match, he won’t hold back, but he’ll be a little hesitant to use his left side.

he’ll also make the first move— since his first solution is to knock you out of bounce (instead of fighting you)

but todoroki won’t be afraid to use his right side with you

yet he doesn’t want to leave burn marks on your delicate skin

but he ends up using it, because you’re really capable with your earth bending quirk— making it hard to beat you

if you win, he’ll be really glad that you won (not caring about endeavor’s disappointment)

if you lose, todoroki will help you up�� while apologizing to you profusely (even if he didn’t go that harsh on you)

but if he did injure you greatly, he’ll be really worried— and he’ll be sent to a state of panic

apologizing profusely when you’re getting sent to recovery girl (even when you’re knocked out)

then he’ll start doubting his ability as a boyfriend— because he hurt you, didn’t he?

but that’s when you have to reassure him that he did nothing wrong— and to cope with that battle, he’ll give you a lot of hugs and kisses :,)

kirishima eijirou

he’ll be really pumped up for the sports festival in general

but he’ll be looking at the matches like “okay! who’s my next match— wait a minute.”

he’s panicking now because oh no, i’m fighting my s/o- what if i hurt them? what if i go too far-

and then you’re like “kiri, calm down. it’ll be fine.”

which kinda reassures him?? but he’ll still be worried

compared to the last two— he won’t go too hard on you. because he thinks it’s unmanly to go too hard on his s/o

that means you get the first move :)

his quirk is very different compared to yours—

so he kinda automatically assumed that you were just going to push him out of bounce

(he was wrong, you put up a good fight)

if he wins, the first thing he’ll do is help you up— that’s the best thing he can do for you

“you put up a good fight, Y/N! good job :)”

and if you win, he’ll be so impressed— and then he’ll just shower you in compliments

“that was so manly, Y/N! good job :)”

okay but if he injured you, he’ll be secretly beating himself up— since he didn’t have to go too far with it.

but you’re always there to comfort him, even though it should be the other way around,,

he’ll get you anything you need afterwards— food? not an issue! water? also not an issue!

but the most important thing afterwards is some cuddles and lil kisses printed on your hands

kaminari denki

again, another person that’s really pumped up for the sports festival

but as soon as he sees you as his opponent, he’ll be like 👁👄👁

then he’ll be worried because

wait, i have to fight my s/o??

out of all the bnha boys in this list, he goes easy on you the most

not that he’s underestimating you— but it’s because he’s such a simp

before the match, he’ll ask you if you’re sure that you wanna fight him

(because while he’s a simp, he’s worried about electricuting you with his quirk)

you say that you’re sure that you want to fight him— and that’s how you got into this situation

he’s making lighthearted jokes (to distract his pounding heart) and you’re like

:/ there’s a time and place for everything, denki

so that’s why— you make the first move

okay, denki goes easy on you, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try at all

he’s secretly hoping you’ll just push him out of bounce with your quirk (which is the most likely case anyway)

if you win— he’ll be simping over you hard like “wow, you’re so cool Y/N!”

if he wins— he’ll be surprised because.. how the hell did he win again?

he’s definitely checking on your wellness “are you okay, Y/N? did i electricute you?”

he’s just worried :)

if he did electricute him, he’ll be sent into a state of concern— thinking things like

“did i hurt them too much? what if they died—”

no denki, it’s fine. midnight probably would’ve stopped the fight if he was about to kill you

lots of reassurance is needed, and you’ll probably have to give him a lot of kisses.

it tells him that you’re okay :)

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago

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Playlist Feels

Member: lee jaehyun aka hyunjae from tbz cause i feel like there are too many jaehyuns around now ;_; my heart can’t take too many perfect men of the same name

Genre: COLLEGE... CRUSH? idk this is probably gonna be my most crack piece (you can already tell by the track)

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: I wrote this at like 1.30am so please bear with me lol my inspiration always come in the middle of the night because it’s so quiet and conducive

this will be a one shot cause i’ve got no fucking clue how to make it into a series/short novel without an actual conflict/angst/drama involved :”) if you’re a writer and you see this and you want to make a 2nd part or something, BE MY GUEST

lee hyun jae.

who was he to me?

oh, i don’t know.

just the prettiest but handsomest man alive. if that’s even a word.

he’s always surrounded by like, eleven other boys who are also good-looking and talented in some way or another.

god must’ve invested his entire life into crafting these fine, fine specimens of men to be placed on earth.

maybe there was a mix up somewhere and they were supposed to be angels or demi-gods and god just fucked up.

but i’ve got no complaints.

i’m satisfied that i get to feast my eyes on such a gorgeous, rare, one-of-a-kind version of a person i’m sure exists nowhere else in the world.

he’s known for being one of the most caring ones of the group. he’d make his friends laugh but watch out for them at the same time. he’s so easygoing, i wonder if he’d smile at me if i tripped him over or something.

you might think i’m exaggerating.

well,

i’m not.

so who am i to him?

sadly, nobody.

harsh truth.

there was absolutely nothing wrong with the man. there was a lack of flaw, and that was literally the only flaw he had. if it could even be considered as a flaw. i could spend my seconds, minutes, hours, days, just staring at him. it was so unfair that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM.

sometimes it pisses me off.

it kind of pisses me off that he doesn’t have a girlfriend despite half the school simping over him.

i mean, who wouldn’t? just look at him.

there have been rumors flying about that he was gay or something.

doesn’t matter if he is gay though.

it simply hurts to know he’s not dating anybody.

it’ll be such a waste if such a man ends up living a life alone. a waste indeed.

so what was it that was stopping me from putting that destiny of his to a screeching stop?

well, there was just one problem.

“hELLO, earth to y/n?” the sudden waving in your face with the heaviest textbook in your curriculum snaps you back into reality.

“which one of the twelve are you thinking up some magical fantasy over now?” your best friend frowns at you, the vein on her arm popping from the weight of the fat textbook.

“ah-- it doesn’t matter who i’m daydreaming about, let me have my moment, would you?” you lean back in your seat, disgruntled at her telling you what not to do with your own imagination. sometimes it was difficult to look at her without seeing all the little hints of lee hyunjae in her.

they had the same nose, but that was it. honestly, it was a miracle you just happened to make friends with one of the prettiest girls in school, and good for you, she ended up becoming your friend and stayed in that position for more than a decade. naturally, she was upgraded to the ‘best friend’ title.

the biggest issue you had with lee hee jae was that she hated her brother getting so much attention, and she has always condemned him about it.

which was pretty ironic, given the number of love letters that show up in her locker everyday.

but thanks to her cold, a-little-more-than-mean superficial personality, most guys don’t have enough of a pair to talk to her in person. sure, she won’t hesitate to stab a bitch, but you knew her well enough to know that if the love of her life, son young jae, were to suddenly sprout feelings for her and confess, she might just nose bleed and pass out.

but does she know you have had the biggest, fattest crush on her older brother?

no.

she’d kidnap you and torture you and brainwash you to unlike him.

maybe that’s why he hasn’t got any girlfriends.

“you’re zoning out again,” she snaps her finger in your ear and the sharp click jumps you. you bare your teeth in annoyance and feign a hit towards her, but she doesn’t flinch.

your little high school crush on her brother wasn’t getting any weaker as the years went by. in fact, it’s been getting stronger. now that you’ve seen the way he treats his friends, how kind and considerate he was, not to mention that body-- well--

let’s just say you went from just appreciating his face, to everything in general. it was only a matter of time before she finds out that the one man you were simping over out of the eleven boys was her brother.

of the eleven boys, it just had to be her brother.

“hee jae,” you pull out a pencil and start to randomly doodle in your notebook. “haven’t you ever considered talking to eric?”

she shoots you a death glare, but you’re used to it.

“i thought we agreed not to speak of this in school!” she leans into you and hisses, eyes piercing right through your head. if her eyes had lazers, your head would’ve been blasted off completely after years of her angry glaring.

“no, but eric just seems so... chill, y’know? he’s either cleaning his table and packing his stuff or outside playing baseball, there’s literally nothing stopping you from talking to him.”

she rolls her eyes and snatches your pencil away from you in a bid to piss you off so you’d stop talking.

“give it back--” you snatch the stationery from her and hiss at her like a cat. “you’re literally in the damn baseball team with him. it’s not that difficult to make up a story and start a conversation with him.”

“ha,” she’s finally mastered the art of fake laughter. “easy for you to say. you simp for all eleven of them and can’t choose one for you to worry about it like i do.”

that was fun to hear.

“well, forget eric,” she waves it off. “are we doing anything after school?”

anything but going to your house. i don’t want to be stuck under the same roof as your brother, my heart would get a seizure and i’ll probably die on the spot.

“my mom’s making crepes today, and i know you love that shit,” hee jae snickers, pulling out a baseball from her bag and throwing it into the air and catching it.

“aw, man... not the crepes,” you pout and side eye her, leaning back into your seat.

“why are you so uptight about going to my place? you’ve been there a billion fucking times, you literally live there now.”

that’s cause i’m only over when your brother isn’t around!

“ugh, okay fine. but i gotta dash home first to grab some homework. i left some of it at home ‘cause i wasn’t expecting an invitation today.”

she squeals, showing you a part of her that nobody else has the privilege of seeing. “sick,” she gets out of the seat she dragged to yours and brings it back to where she took it from. “call my home number and tell me you’re on your way before you leave your house!”

you nod un-enthusiastically, waving her off before she leaves the classroom and returns to hers.

you were finally back at home, showered and changed into comfortable clothes while you shoved all your homework into your bag. you leave your parents a text to tell them that you’d spend the afternoon and evening at heejae’s so they don’t have to worry about your dinner, then you dial her home number.

the phone was on it’s eighth ring, and you were already one foot out of the door. usually, it doesn’t take her that long to pick up the phone.

“this little bitch invites me over and doesn’t pick up the damn--”

“hello?”

your grip tightens around your phone and you stumble out of your house, the door swinging shut behind jumps you and you process the voice on the other end of the line.

“uh--”

“is this y/n?”

“uh... yeah, this is she.”

he knows me?

shut up, of course he knows you. you’ve been friends with his sister for a decade!

“oh, okay, cool. heejae’s in the toilet right now and she said she’ll get it but i couldn’t stand the sound of the phone ringing.”

“ah...” your voice trails off, unsure of how to respond. you were just preoccupied with how soothing his voice was, and just imagining his face with the phone to his ear on the other line was just so--

“hello? y/n? you there?”

“yeah, yeah, sorry i was... crossing a road.” you weren’t even moving; you were just planted into the pavement like a tree.

“actually, why don’t i go and pick you up? your place is on the way to the shopping mall and my mom just told me to go get some groceries, do you want to tag along? we can head back to my place afterwards and you can get the crepes you like.”

where in the world was he getting all this information from?

“uh--” you stammer into the receiver for the billionth time. he must think you have some kind of speech problem by now.

“you know what? just hang tight for a few minutes. heejae’s still in the bathroom so she doesn’t get a say in what i do if i decide it without her presence,” you hear him walk around on the house and call out for his mom to tell her he was leaving for the shopping mall. “you live on 31st avenue, right? the white house with the blue roof?”

“uH--” you really need to get a grip on yourself.

“i guessed. hang tight, i’ll be there in a sec! see you!”

hyunjae doesn’t bother to wait for you to hang up before he does. the line goes dead and the beep nearly deafens you, but you couldn’t believe your ears. you were about to be in the same vehicle as lee hyun jae. one of the most popular boys in school, the handsomest man alive, the love of your li--

whoa.

too fast.

you shake the nonsensical daydreams out of your head and walk back to the steps of your door. while waiting, you can’t help but to let the quiet crush on him run your mind recklessly.

what if he was just messing with you and he’s just chilling at home? what if he knows that you have a crush on him and he’s just having fun? what if he thinks you’re weird for hanging out with his sister? what if he’s caught you staring and he thinks you’re a creep? oh my god, what if heejae’s told him embarrassing stories about you and now he’s going to poke fun at you with that?

you stare blankly at the little weeds in the cracks of the pavement, the thoughts in your head running wild as you slowly convince yourself he’s not going to turn up.

but the familiar silver family car rolls up at the end of the pavement, and the windows roll down to reveal hyunjae in sunglasses wearing a simple white tee-shirt.

“did i keep you waiting?” he pushes down his sunglasses and looks at you over the rim, one arm dangling outside the window.

you shake your head, suddenly losing all ability to speak.

“alrighty then, get in. we’re heading for the shopping mall.” he nods his head towards the car, retracting his arm back into the vehicle.

your heart was thumping so aggressively and so loudly you were sure he could hear it. hell, he could probably see it.

“how’s school? i haven’t seen you around back in my house after... what, about five years? you were always around when i was out, if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were avoiding me,” his voice was so alluring, you had to constantly remind yourself that he was actually saying something.

“uh-- well....”

come on, say something. anything.

“i guess god just doesn’t want us to meet.”

no, it’s because you were avoiding him. what the flying fuck was that?

he laughs heartily, his teeth catching the light of the afternoon sun and glistens in your vision. “if that’s the case then god really needs to give me a break.”

your little-crush-on-him morphs into a tiny character in your head and it starts yelling at you. did he just say what you think he just said?

“no, i mean,” he glances at you, hands still on the steering wheel once he notices you’ve gone eerily silent. “i would’ve spoken to you and tried to be actual friends with you sooner, but heejae never wants me talking to her friends. you can imagine how she is with her best friend.”

you sigh heavily, the mention of your best friends’ name loosening some knots in your stomach. “lee hee jae is just something. not sure what, but something.”

“it does baffle me to think about how you put up with her for what, nine years now?”

you were looking out the window, and the idea of being in the same car as hyunjae doesn’t seem as tormenting as it seemed once you realise the best support you’ve had for the last ten years was lee hee jae.

“eleven, actually,” you say without looking at him, eyes zeroing on a couple walking a dog on the pavement by the road. “yeah i guess she can be a handful sometimes, especially with how cold and mean she is on the outside...”

the car stops at a traffic junction.

“but put her in front of one guy and she’ll pass the fu--”

“‘one guy’?” he interrupts.

your eyes widen and you suck your lips between your teeth, wincing a little to yourself when you realise what you just said.

“lee hee jae has a crush on someone?” you hear him scoff and a brotherly chuckle rushes out his lips. “do you know who it is?”

you were about to protest and stop him from trying to dig the information that you nearly disclosed, but he interrupts you again.

“y’know what? don’t tell me. i’ll guess. i’ll just watch your reactions while i’m at it.”

you grit your teeth and tighten your temples. you don’t realise how sweaty your palms were until your phone slides out from underneath your skin when the car starts to move.

“is it kevin? no wait-- doesn’t feel like it.”

is he going to just start talking on his own until he finds someone he thinks suits her and then look at my face to read my expression?

“i don’t think she’s the kind to go for someone older than me or my age. so that takes sangyeon, jacob, younghoon-- is it younghoon? no, it’s not... ah, no matter how i think about it, someone nearer your age pops up. haknyeon, sunwoo, eric. it’s one of the three.”

that wasn’t so hard. hee jae must be easy for her brother to read.

“are you really going to let me play this elimination game alone?” he raises a brow and turns the wheel, driving into the car park of the shopping mall. the little gesture causes your heart to involuntarily skip a beat, and you could see his eyes folding even behind the sunglasses when he turns his head.

“your sister would kill me if she knew i even started this conversation, so i’m just refraining from deepening my grave.”

you hear him laugh through his nose. “relax, i’m not going to tell her you said this. i’ve seen the way she looks at us whenever we’re in school. she gives me a look of disgust but she always reserves a blush on her cheeks for someone. i just can’t put my finger on who it is.”

“you mean you notice the way she looks at you and your friends? that’s a little weird.”

the car starts to reverse into a parking lot and he pulls the gears into parking mode. there was a short silence in the air as he lays his finger on the start up button of the car and he turns to look at you, now without the sunglasses to block your view of his eyes.

“you’d be surprised that i notice a lot of things.”

he flashes you a smile and reaches for the door on his side, pushing himself out as if he didn’t just expose both you and your best friend.

you were just tailing hyunjae while he told you what was on the grocery list, and you start filling the basket. he doesn’t stop guessing though, but the entire time spent with him only made you feel like he was so comfortable to be around.

besides his pretty face, of course.

you were waiting for him to pay for the items while you stood outside when heejae’s caller ID showed up on your phone screen.

“where the hell are you?”

“hello to you too,” you roll your eyes. “your brother said he was going to get me and now we’re shopping for groceries before we return to your place. didn’t your mom tell you?”

“what? no, she didn’t. she just told me he went out to get groceries.”

“huh?” you look over your shoulder to see hyunjae paying the cashier. “are you saying that your mom lied about me?”

“now, why would she do that?”

“she’s your mom, not mine. why don’t you ask her instead?”

hyunjae picks up the grocery bags and walks towards you, looking into them and making sure he didn’t miss out anything.

“this is so fucking weird. where’s hyunjae? pass the phone to him,”

“we’re done, let’s go.” hyunjae stops by your side, noticing that you were on the phone.

“don’t you dare hang up on me, pass the phone to him!” hee jae screams into the receiver. you wince and pull it away from your ear, shooting hyunjae a look of slight confusion as you hand him the phone.

“it’s your sister.”

he sighs and places the bags on the floor, wiping his hands on his pants before taking it.

you could hear hee jae screaming at him on the other end, but hyunjae’s face doesn’t change one bit besides that sweet smile plastered to his lips while he let his sister berate him. hyunjae got bored extremely quickly, and he was already removing the phone from his ear while he repeated the word ‘bye’ into the receiver.

he hands the phone back to you and hangs it up for you, picking up the bags and heading back to the car.

by the time you reach the road right outside their house, heejae was standing on the porch, anxiously tapping her foot on the wooden boards.

“oh, no,” he groans, looking out the window and observing heejae like she was a lion in the savannah. “well, just another day for us people who have to deal with miss lee.”

he says so coyly, pushing himself out of the car and going to open the door of the backseat. you help yourself out, and heejae storms toward you, fists balled by her side and steam coming out through her ears.

you thought she was going to scream at you for accepting a ride from hyunjae, but she dodges you and opens the backseat door opposite hyunjae to yell at him in the car.

“what made you think it was a great idea to pick her up? didn’t we have a deal that both our friends were out of bounds to each other?”

wait what--

“yah, lee hyunjae!” she yells at the top of her voice as he ignores her, pulling out of the car and walking towards the house. “we had a deeeeeaaaaaaal!”

you grab onto heejae and turn her around, trying to peel her attention away from her brother and to you so you could get a grasp on what she just said.

“did you just say what i think you just said?!” you blink in surprise at her, and the thought of hyunjae finding an excuse just to spend time with you melts you into a puddle of hopeless goop.

“no,” she says with a stern face, lifting a finger and pointing at you in the face. “no.”

“well--” she yanks herself out of your grip and turns to the house. “what’s so bad about dating your siblings’ friends? you like eric.”

she literally screeches to a stop and turns around with eyes that were burning. honestly, it was pretty funny to see her so riled up, knowing that she wasn’t angry at you. she was angry with hyunjae for... whatever he did, and the fact that she just had to fall for someone in hyunjae’s circle of friends. it was a slap in her face, or whoever thought about the no-dating-siblings’-friends pact.

“is that why you don’t want to talk to eric? because of this... deal?” you raise a brow, entertained, completely forgetting that there was the slightest chance that hyunjae might’ve been looking for an excuse to hang out with you, and he had just succeeded.

she had no words, but her silence was enough to let you unpack the situation.

“ah... i see,” you fold your arms across your chest and smirk at her. then you remember you were standing right outside lee hyunjae’s house. this was your chance to dig the information out from her. “so if this deal is stopping you from talking to eric, then is it safe to assume that it’s similar for hyunjae?”

you could see her bottom lip quivering upon your question, as she realises that you’ve finally found out why she was keeping a distance from her own teammate. but her silence also pushes you further into confusion. does that mean--

“look, you can’t date hyunjae, okay? i forbid it. the last time a girl dated someone in that group of friends of his, they broke up because she got bullied by other girls in school. i told hyunjae he wasn’t allowed to date any of my friends so i wouldn’t need to beat the fuck out of any bullies and get myself expelled,” she huffed and hugged her torso. “and i made him agree to that deal by promising him that neither i nor any of my friends would date his.”

you shake your head, fingers pressing into your temples and hair while you let the story unfold from her narration.

“my mom didn’t tell me about him going to get you because... well... he--”

“i like you!”

your heart stops and you think your blood stopped flowing through you as well. heejae’s head snaps back to look at the house and the source of noise, and she pulls out a shoe to hurl it at hyunjae.

“ah--!” he starts yelling once she reaches him with the shoe. “let me at least try, god damn it! sunwoo only let his girlfriend get bullied because he’s a dumbass-- ow! but i’m not gonna let her get bullied, i promise!”

you slowly turn your head to see hyunjae trying to dodge every hit, and he starts running away from her and toward you. he pulls you in front of him so you were standing between him and heejae, who was holding onto the shoe so tightly, her knuckles were turning white.

“y/n, take a chance with me, would you? i’ve always noticed the both of you looking at us but it always bothered me that i have no idea who either of you are looking at--”

he dodges a side swing, and your view of heejae trying to reach him was pretty hilarious, if you weren’t acting as his shield.

“what makes you think she’ll say yes?! she can’t even choose--”

“i do, heejae,” finally, you’ve decided to shoot your shot. heejae freezes with the shoe in mid-air, and hyunjae’s hold on your shoulders tighten. “i’ve only said i can’t choose only because i didn’t want you to know that it was your brother i liked.”

you couldn’t believe what was coming out of your mouth. all that effort to keep it hidden only to expose yourself infront of both heejae and her brother at once?!

she looked like she wanted to slap you with the shoe now, and you flinch when she shifts, closing your eyes to brace for impact.

but it doesn’t come.

you open one eye and look at her, and she looked like she’s completely resigned to fate. she shakes her head like your mother would when you did something stupid, and she squats to get her shoe back on her feet.

“i give up,” she grunts, shoving her feet into her shoe and tying the laces messily before standing up again. “of all eleven of them, him?” she raises an agitated brow and points to the boy hiding behind you.

“it wouldn’t have been so annoying if it had been one of his friends, but him?!”

you turn back to look at hyunjae, who was giving you puppy eyes as if he was already your boyf--

too fast.

“does it look like i chose to like him?” you pout, hands reaching out to her and trying to play for affection.

“for fucks’ sake,” she groans, face palming herself. “now i’m going to look like a shitty friend and sister if i don’t let you two date.”

“on the bright side..” you pull her into a hug and tighten your hold, knowing that whatever you were going to say next was going to warrant another violent outburst from her. “if hyunjae and i date, that means the deal’s broken and...”

“you can talk to eric now.”

“AH! SO IT’S ERIC?!”

#timetohajima #hyunjae #lee hyunjae #lee jaehyun #the boyz #the boyz hyunjae #the boyz one shot #the boyz scenario #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagine #hyunjae one shot #hyunjae scenario #hyunjae fanfic #hyunjae imagine #timetohajima playlist feels

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marveloussupernerd · 4 years ago

Text

Ice Cream - Vanderwood

Uhm so... this idea started w this being abo seven. Then about Unknown. And then about Vandy. Just to clarify, I know lots of different pronouns are thrown around for Vanderwood, but I’m playing the safe route and going by he/him because that’s what the creators said 😀 no judgement if you hc otherwise though! Sorry this is probably gonna be OOC bc I have not played another story so my interactions w him have been slim to none

Summary: You were just kind of... depressed today. With the hacker at large, Seven and Mary Vanderwood III have been tasked with watching you through security cameras. Kinda rough when you won’t leave your room and there aren’t cameras in there. Vanderwood tries to cheer you up

PSA: this lowkey deals w mental health but not explicitly ? Inspired by me bc I get depressed~ esp when I am PMSing (which I am doing now) and genuinely can’t get out of bed and do things (ppl are iffy on mental health so just to say I have been diagnosed and was given birth control to help... which honestly has helped a lil). So I thought this would maybe help me and hopefully some of you, Jesus Christ I’ve prob lost so many of you w all these announcements

You just... couldn’t get out of bed. You had been stuck inside for a few days now, watched over by Seven and Mary Vanderwood III via security cams. But not getting to go outside and have human interaction kinda sucked. And then all your work was stressful too. You just didn’t want to move. And so you didn’t.

You got dressed though. That was a good start. Granted it was in something that could also be considered pajamas, but it felt nice to change your clothes. Felt productive. You went back into bed.

How long had you spent in bed, scrolling mindlessly through social media and watching stupid YouTube videos? You looked at the time; it was 1 pm. You were lucky you had today off, but had hoped to be more productive today. Oh well.

Your video was interrupted. A call from Seven. It was probably important.

“Hey Seven!” You picked up, bringing your voice to its typical cheery state. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” The voice on the other line asked. You jumped; it was deep, much deeper than Seven’s, and very serious.

“Are you using a voice modifier?” You giggled. It felt nice to talk to someone.

“Huh? Oh, no. This isn’t Seven.”

You paused for a minute, raising an eyebrow. Your voice caught in the back of your throat. “Are you... the hacker?”

“No!” The voice sounded urgent.

“Tom? Seven’s childhood friend?”

“I’m not fully convinced he exists.” The voice replied, an edge to the voice making it sound like a joke.

“Honestly? Me neither.” You paused, trying to think of who it could be. “I fold. Who are you? And how’d you get Seven’s phone!?”

“Giving up that easily?” The voice was teasing you now. “I thought you’d do more than two guesses.” You huffed out a sigh, making sure your annoyance was heard. “Come on, who would have access to Seven’s phone?”

That literally made no sense though. “...Mary Vanderwood the III?”

“Is he calling me that to you too now?” The voice asked, clearly annoyed. “My name is not Mary Vanderwood the III, and I’m not Seven’s maid. I just go by Vanderwood.”

“Hi Vanderwood,” you greeted. “You’re... a dude?”

“Yes.” He sounded annoyed still. “I don’t know why he’s said all this stuff.”

You giggled. “Well, back to the beginning of the conversation. Why’d you ask if I was okay? Is anything suspicious happening?”

“You just... you haven’t left your bedroom yet.”

“Oh” was all you could say.

“Oh? Are you okay?”

“Yeah of course!” You figured you might as well explain yourself. “It’s just, uhm, I haven’t really wanted to get out of bed and be productive. Sort of a mental block.”

“Oh,” his voice was much more understanding now. “That sucks.”

“Yeah... I think it’s because I haven’t interacted with people in a while. Just kinda holed up in the apartment. Hard to stay motivated.” Why were you telling him all this? He just wanted to know if you were okay. He wasn’t your therapist. “Oops! Uhm, sorry. Didn’t mean to unload that all.”

“You’re okay. I’m... sorry to hear that.”

“I’ve dealt with it before so like... it’s fine. It’ll pass. There are way more pressing matters right now,” you brushed it off, shrugging even though you knew he couldn’t see you.

“Do you-“ he coughed. “Do you like ice cream?”

“Yes?” What a change of topic. “Who doesn’t?”

“Well, if you want something to do, do you wanna get ice cream? If you’re feeling up for it.” He sounded almost awkward. It was kind of sweet.

But still, more pressing issues at hand. “I don’t know if I should with the hacker and everything. Everyone has security but me and so I-“

“I work with Seven. I think I can protect you.”

“Think?” You teased.

“You know that’s not how I meant it. I know I could protect you if need be. If you don’t want to though that’s okay.”

“No!” You shouted. You covered your mouth immediately, embarrassed from your outburst. “No. I think that’d be really nice.”

“I can pick you up outside the apartment in like ten minutes? You don’t have to worry about getting dressed up nice or anything...”

This was all so sudden. “Oh, I guess you do know the address, huh.” You were more saying it to yourself than him. “Wait! What do you look like? So that I don’t get picked up by the hacker or anything.”

“Uh...” he seemed so confident, but very uncomfortable describing himself. “I’ve got brown hair. Kinda long? It goes down to my shoulders. You know what? The lining of my jacket is leopard print. That should help.”

You were silent. Leopard print?

“Don’t make fun of it.” You could hear the scowl in his voice. “Ten minutes. See you then.” He hung up before you could say goodbye.

He did say not to look nice. Which made sense, in retrospect, because he had seen you for the past few days lounging at home. There was no need to try to impress; he already knew how you looked on the norm.

So you grabbed a jacket, your phone, and your wallet (with pepper spray attached to it for good measure), and headed out.

You kind of felt like a hooker, standing out at the curb waiting for a car to drive up and get you. But, you pushed those thoughts out of your mind. You were getting real human interaction today thanks to Vanderwood.

He pulled up in a very standard car, definitely not one of Seven’s babes. He rolled down the window and called your name.

“Wait! Show me the lining of your jacket!” You requested. It felt ridiculous but it was important. You laughed nonetheless, as did he. He pulled the jacket up, showing the intricate pattern. You grinned and got in the car.

“Hi. Nice to meet you in person,” you started, looking over at him. He kept the window down as he drove, the sound from the car loud and the wind blowing through his hair.

“You too,” he shouted, trying to talk over the wind. “Nice day out, huh?”

You leaned your head slightly out the window, the cool breeze a nice offset to the warmth of the sun beating down on you. “Mhm,” you hummed.

Luckily the ice cream shop was only a few minutes away. Good thing too; you weren’t sure what to talk about. You benefited from the fact that most of your words were carried away with the wind; the conversation starters had sucked anyway. You just focused on his surprisingly good driving and the feeling of the sun.

He got out of the car and you quickly followed. He didn’t wait for you, just kept walking to the order window. You scrambled to catch up. “So what’s your favorite?” He asked, sensing you by his side without even having to look.

“Oh, uhm, I’ll have cookie dough. Always a solid choice. How about you?”

He turned to you, a smile on his face that contrasted frankly with the harsh lines of his features. “Dark chocolate raspberry.”

“I can’t tell if I’m surprised or if I expected that.” You let out a little ‘hm’ and shrugged your shoulders. He went up and ordered for the both of you.

“Oh, uh,” you reached into your wallet, but he brushed you off.

“Relax. I can pay for a $3 ice cream cone.”

Your eyes widened. You hadn’t realized that may insult him. “Oh! Uh, that’s not what I meant to insinuate. I’m sorry.”

He glanced over with that smile of his, brown eyes lighting up. Why did it make your heart flutter? You had literally just met the guy. You were such a goddamn simp.

He grabbed the ice creams and handed you yours, his gloved fingers brushing against your bare ones. It wasn’t even skin-to-skin contact! Why did you feel this way from something so small? You wanted to die right then and there. He suggested you eat in the car to maintain a low profile and you nodded, not trusting your own voice.

Were you supposed to talk? Or eat your ice cream? Or both? Your mind chose for you, as words stumbled out of your lips before you could even stop them. “So is Vanderwood your real name?” Idiot. Of course it isn’t!

“God no.” He sounded hard about it. It was hard to take him seriously while he was licking an ice cream cone like that. You tried to hide your laughter. “No, don’t laugh.” His voice wasn’t hard this time. He was almost begging you to go easy on him.

“No I’m sorry! I wasn’t laughing at your name. It’s just... it’s kind of funny when you sound all mad and annoyed but you look so cute eating your ice cream.” No!!!!! Did you just call him cute? This was going AWFUL. You should have stayed home.

“Well, you can make fun of my name. I obviously didn’t pick it. It’s stupid.” Maybe he hadn’t heard the last part of what you said, considering he didn’t bring it up? But why was he blushing?

“It’s not that bad. You could be named Mary Vanderwood the III,” you teased. He rolled his eyes. “Can I give you a nickname? Maybe make it less insufferable?”

“What, you think we’re going to be talking all the time now?” He had a point. Why did you... do any of this? It was so embarrassing. You stared at your ice cream, praying you didn’t blush or shake your leg or do anything to show how much you felt like an idiot. He nudged you, causing you to glance up at him, and he smiled. “I’d love a nickname.”

“Wood.”

“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically.

“V! Oh wait... we can’t do that.” Poor V. You had almost regifted his name. “Vandy!”

“Vandy?” He questioned, trying out the name. “I’m not seeing it.”

“I am. Vandy. That’s the one”

“It’s too...cute.” His cheeks flushed red again. He pushed some of his hair out of his eyes. “I’m not letting you call me that.”

“You don’t get to pick your own nickname,” you stuck your tongue out at him. “I think it’s very fitting. It’s cute, you’re cute...” why were you doing this to yourself? You must have hated yourself.

“You’ve said that twice now. That I’m cute,” he mentioned causally, biting down on his cone, the rest of the ice cream gone.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it as an insult.”

“Oh, it’s fine. It’s probably just my toxic masculinity.” It sounded like a joke but he also sounded serious? There were so many mysteries surrounding him.

“Well, if it helps. I think you’re quite handsome too. But that’s a lot of syllables to get my point across.” You were a bit more confident this time. If he was genuinely worried about his image, why wouldn’t you help reassure him.

“Uh, thanks.” He pushed back his hair, pausing midway. “I’m sorry, I’m really bad with gratitude. I genuinely appreciate it, especially coming from you.”

“Well it’s not like I’m lying,” you shrugged. You had finished your ice cream. “Uhm... maybe we should get back. Who knows what Seven’s been up to since you’ve been gone.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.”

The drive back was just as silent as the drive there, the both of you enjoying the sun and the wind again. He turned on the radio this time. It played 80s hits.

He parked in front of the building. “I hope that helped you feel a little better. I mean, I had fun,” he explained. You could tell he was forcing the words out, forcing himself to express some emotion.

“It helped a lot. For real. Thank you Vandy.” You touched his arm gently.

“Can I have your number?” He asked, a small smirk forming at the corner of his lips. “So that I don’t have to call you through Seven’s phone again,” he justified.

You smiled, nodding, wordlessly taking the phone from his hands and putting your number in. Why were your hands shaking? Was he genuinely interested in you? Or was he just a nice guy?

You handed the phone back. “Thank you again.” You smiled, opening the car door.

“Wait!” He exclaimed. You turned back towards him, leaving the car door open. “Can I... kiss you?”

You shut the car door again, nodding eagerly. He pressed himself against the center console to reach you, using one hand to balance himself and the other to brush the hair out of your eyes, cupping your cheek as he closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes fluttered shut, focused on just how warm and soft his lips were. It was... really pleasant. He didn’t maintain the kiss for long, although you seemed to have lost your concept of time.

He pulled away, hand still on your cheek, smiling that smile again. “Thank you. I hope I made your day a little better. You certainly improved mine.”

Your fingers grazed his own, intertwining with his for a moment as you opened the car door with the other hand. “You did. I’ll look forward to seeing you again maybe?”

“For sure,” he was more flustered now. “Ah, I should probably make sure Seven hasn’t burned down the house. Have a good night.” He regained his composure, winking at you as you exited the car, and driving off, wind still blowing in his hair.

Vandy stans don’t drag me maybe he was OOC but also I wanna think he’s a little less confident in a romantic situation ? Idk. I hope you all liked it tho tyy

#mystic messenger #mysme #Vanderwood

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lesbianzhane · 5 years ago

Text

gigi goode does NOT simp (crygi)

gigi goode is a popular instagram designer and model. her friend, jan, constantly posts photos with a pretty girl that gigi falls head over heels for. when nicky throws a party, and that pretty girl just so happens to be there with jan, gigi knows that her friend was pulling out some sort of scheme.

ao3 link!

Gigi never liked to call herself an ‘influencer’. The word seemed far too snobby, and she really didn’t believe she was all that big of a deal online. Sure, she had a couple hundred thousand (closer to a million, really) followers. But, in the grand scheme of things, did that really matter? People would tire of her one day, they’d find another pretty fashionista to gush over in the span of a year. For the time being, she just wanted to bask in whatever glow she had. The fame would come and go, and soon she’d be left with nothing but the memory of her silly little instagram account.

Speaking of, the blonde haired girl set up her next post. Her caption had been some witty pun made up by her best friend, Jackie, because obviously she wouldn’t think of something so endearing yet stupid at the same time. Gigi usually ripped her captions from stupid things her friends would say, or she would force Nicky to translate some song lyric into french and use that. She wasn’t exactly the most creative when it came to captioning her posts, but she made up for it with the fact that the clothes she wore were all hand designed.

Ever since she could remember, Gigi loved fashion. She loved being able to make things that people loved and wished they owned themselves. She adored the way that people would ask her where she got a garment, and how she could answer that she made it herself. Most inspiration she had came from her mother. She had been a seamstress as well, and as a child Gigi would watch her work. She was fascinated with how easily her mother put together clothes, and she started designing at a young age. It’s what led her to where she was now.

Gigi began posting her outfits on Instagram a year prior. She didn’t expect it to go anywhere, really. So, when she started gaining followers, she was completely shocked. People actually liked her designs and her fashion enough to follow her. Enough to anticipate her next post. It was mind boggling to her.

As she hit post, she scrolled down her Instagram feed. It was mostly filled with her friends. Jackie’s silly little Star Trek stan account that she had insisted Gigi followed, and Nicky’s own fashion account. Jackie had even forced her to follow the girl she had been pining after for years now, Jan, and she could have sworn the girl combusted when she got that follow notification. The direct message that followed consisted of a fully caps locked message, and a whole bunch of spelling mistakes that Gigi couldn’t even count.

Pausing her scrolling, one post in particular caught her eye. It was from Jan, posted about an hour ago. In the photo, Jan was smiling brightly with a taller girl standing by her side. Her bouncy red curls were flying all over the place, and her smile lit up the entire photo. Gigi loved when Jan posted photos like this. She didn’t even know the name of the mystery person, and there was never an account tagged in the photos. Gigi was left wondering who that beautiful girl was, and of course she brought it up everytime she saw Jan.

Gigi could recall the most recent time she brought up the mystery girl. Her, Jan and Jackie were gathered around a busy diner booth, all sharing one basket of fries. It was a silly idea, because Jan could eat far faster than the other two, so by the time Gigi had tuned back into the conversation, half the basket was already gone. She didn’t really mind though. She was aimlessly scrolling through her Instagram, as she does, when another photo of the mystery girl popped up on her feed. She slid her phone towards Jan, quirking an eyebrow.

“Who is this?” Gigi had a rather harsh tone of voice, and oftentimes she sounded meaner than she had intended to. But, Jan knew her well enough to see past that.

“That’s me and my friend, why?” Jan was much more upbeat than Gigi was. Sometimes, the blonde would wonder if Jan had ever felt any emotion aside from happiness.

“Yeah but like, what’s her name? Her Instagram?” Gigi pressed forward.

A grin spread onto Jan’s lips, and she snatched Gigi’s phone up. “Are you being a simp? Are you simping for my friend who you have never met?”

“What does that even mean?” Gigi attempts to snatch her phone away from Jan, all while Jackie sits back and does nothing to help her. Some best friend she is. “Jackie, help me.”

“I want no part in whatever you two are doing.” Jackie throws her hands up, before taking another fry and popping it into her mouth. It’s so like Jackie to not get involved in their silly squabble, it makes Gigi wonder why she loves the girl so much. Except, not really. She knows why.

“Give me my phone! I don’t even know what a simp is.” Gigi stretches across the table until she’s practically kneeling on it. It’s garnered the attention from other occupants in the diner, most of them wondering what the hell this twenty something year old is doing. Gigi pays no mind, finally grasping her phone and sinking back down into her seat.

Jan goes on to explain exactly what a simp is to Gigi, and the girl can't even deny the fact that maybe she is simping a little bit. She doesn’t think it really counts though, she’s never sent this mystery person any money. She doesn’t even know her name for crying out loud.

It’s about a week later, and Gigi still has no answers to who this person is. Jan refuses to tell her, for whatever reason. She has to push those thoughts aside for the moment, because their close friends are throwing a party that evening and she still has yet to get dressed. She moved over to her closet, rifling through her clothes for something suitable. It wasn’t something super fancy, so she could skip out on long gowns. She didn’t really feel like showing up in a cocktail dress either, though.

After searching for an allotted time that she doesn’t really want to admit, Gigi finds the perfect outfit. It’s a turtleneck shirt that hugs her figure like a glove, and it has a beautiful floral print on it. She pairs it with a simple high waisted short, tucking the shirt into them. It makes her waist look skinny, and her legs long. She adds a small little pink scarf tied around her neck. She pairs it with a matching pair of pink boots that make her even taller, and she looks over her outfit in the mirror. It’s perfect for a casual party, plus she looks pretty enough for anyone new she might meet.

Grabbing her purse, she slips her keys into her hand and heads out the door. Thoughts of the mystery girl are completely void from her mind, which was rare. She was glad for the distraction though, and she drove towards Nicky’s house with Clario blasting throughout her car.

Nicky has much more money than Gigi did. Her house was larger than Gigi thought was possible, and the other woman surely didn’t need that much space. It helped though, when she had parties like this. Though it was mostly kept to close friends, other friends were brought around and it made the house bustle with noise. Gigi stepped inside without even knocking, knowing Nicky well enough that she didn’t find it necessary to do such a thing.

As she was crossing the main hall to go find where her friends were tucked away, she saw her. Long legs covered by a pair of worn out denim jeans that were absolutely covered in iron on patches. She was wearing a bright green blouse that hung loosely off her shoulders, and it was unbuttoned enough to reveal the white tank top she was wearing underneath. Bracelets and necklaces clinked together every time the girl moved, and there were the signature red curls adorning her head. She looked even prettier in real life.

Before she could even take a deep breath, Jan was by her side tugging on her wrist. Gigi stumbles a bit, still a little dazed from seeing the mystery girl from all those photos right in front of her. “Hey girl! You drooling? Better pick your mouth up off the floor before she notices!”

The music from the house pumps in her ears, and she can barely hear Jan making fun of her because of it. Barely being the key word here. Gigi shoves her, puffing out her cheeks. “I didn’t know she would be here. You should have told me, you bitch!”

Jan simply laughs, grabbing Gigi’s wrist and pulling her over towards her. She can feel her heart in her throat as they get closer, and Gigi has time to appreciate just how beautiful this girl is. Sure, her fashion is louder than Gigi’s, and she certainly looked more creative than herself. Her features were soft, her lips look fuller in person if that was even possible. Gigi was absolutely blown away, how was it possible for someone to be that pretty?

Before she could get over whatever she was feeling, the mystery girl was right in front of her. Her smile lit up the whole room, and Gigi was finding it difficult to even breathe in the presence of this girl. She was already striking up a conversation with Jan that Gigi was tuning out. In favor of listening, she was simply staring at the girl and hoping that she would be swallowed by the floor. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t talk to someone this pretty. All the confidence she prides herself on having was washing away. And then, that smile was directed at her, and she thought she might just pass out.

“Hi! I’m Crystal!” Crystal. That was her name. Such a perfect name for such a perfect girl. Gigi thought that Crystal suited her, considering she was about as unique as a crystal. None of them looked perfectly the same, and they all stood out on their own.

“Uh..” Gigi stuttered over her words, looking around the room as if she had forgotten her own name. “Gigi! I’m… Gigi.”

“Pretty name for such a pretty girl!” Crystal shot her a wink, and Gigi felt her heart stop in her chest. The way the music pounded made her feel dizzy, and Crystal giving her that flirty little smile wasn’t helping at all. Gigi simply laughed the compliment off, waving her hand and excusing herself from the two of them. She needed to get some air.

Stepping out onto Nicky’s back patio, Gigi looked down at the pool below her. There was a small staircase that led down to the pool's edge, and with the beginning of summer fast approaching, Nicky had just opened up the pool. The water shone with the sunset, rippling and allowing Gigi to get lost in her thoughts. The mystery girl, Crystal, had actually been here. Jan was probably planning this all along. Gigi wouldn’t be surprised if the reason she kept any and all information a secret was for this exact night. Actually, she guaranteed that was the reason.

Reaching into her pocket, Gigi took out the one object that always brought her comfort. Her phone. She opened her Instagram, scrolling through her notifications until a certain name popped out at her.

crystalemethyd has followed you!

Crystal Methyd. That was her full name. She clicked onto the page, finding herself lost in scrolling through pictures of the beautiful girl. Her follower count was low, and it was clear that this was a personal account and not a business one like Gigi’s. Crystal's vibrant smile captivated her, and she didn’t even hear the door to the patio opening. She was far too engrossed in the current photo of Crystal holding up her cat and laughing at the camera. The way her eyes crinkled slightly was absolutely adorable, and Gigi couldn’t tear her eyes away from it.

“That’s my cat, Tic Tac.” The sudden voice behind her startled her, and Gigi nearly dropped her phone down into the pool water below them. She took a deep breath, locking her phone quickly and pressing a hand to her chest.

“You can’t just sneak up on somebody like that, jeez!” Gigi puffed up her cheeks, though her voice was much softer than she intended. Crystal just laughed quietly at her, holding her arms up.

“I’m sorry! You were just standing out here by yourself, thought you could use some company.” Crystal shrugged, and Gigi had to force herself to look away from those perfectly painted lips. She looked up to the sky, watching the way it melted from a light purple to a beautiful pink. The edges of the sun were setting, and she could see how all the colors blended together to make a masterpiece.

“So…” Crystal broke the silence. “Why are you out here scrolling through my Instagram? Are you some sort of stalker or something?” The playful grin on her lips made Gigi’s heart tremble, and she looked away quickly.

“No! I just noticed you followed me.” She swallowed. Since when was she this awkward? Never in her life had she found herself fumbling for words like this. “I’ve seen pictures of you and Jan before. You were never tagged in any of them.”

“Oh yeah, I didn’t want Jan’s followers like hounding me or something.” Crystal laughed again. “People on the internet are scary. And mean.”

It was the first time since she had seen Crystal that her smile faltered. There was a flash of nervousness, of insecurity in her eyes before it was replaced by that confident aura that seemed to follow her. “Yeah.” Was all Gigi could bring herself to say.

The two of them stood in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both sneaking glances at the other. Gigi still couldn’t believe how beautiful Crystal was in person, and that fact that she was really standing in front of her was starting to settle in. As if the silence was actually physically hurting her, Crystal brought her hands down onto the railing of the patio, forcing Gigi to look over to her.

“Well, it’s been great standing here and doing nothing.” Crystal starts, and Gigi assumes that she must think she’s the most boring person in the whole world. “But, Jan is going to throw a fit if I don’t help her with Jackie. That’s why I’m here after all. And for this mystery girl who has been simping over me for a while.”

Crystal winks at her, and Gigi feels her entire face go red. Of course Jan had told her about that, because why wouldn’t she. She swore that she would get back at her at some point, probably by using Jackie against her. Really though, she knew that Jackie wouldn’t go along with it.

Crystal grabbed her arm, producing a pen from her pocket. Gigi hadn’t even realized what was happening until she felt the numbers being scrawled across her arm. They were loopy and beautiful, and she never wanted to wash them off. She gasped at the numbers that were clear for anyone to see, and Crystal just grinned at her.

“You do know I have my phone with me, right?” Gigi challenges her, and Crystal just waves her hand.

“Where’s the romance in that, miss Goode?” With those final words, Crystal shoots her one last wink and disappears into the house. Gigi is left standing there, mouth hung open as she tries to process what had just happened. Did Crystal want to go out with her? Was this a date invitation?

Gigi had no idea. But she took her phone out, copied the number into it and put a cute little heart next to Crystal’s contact name. After a few deep breaths, she went back inside to find where the hell Nicky and Jackie were. Plus, she wanted to see whatever scheme Jan had planned to swoop Jackie off her feet.

Gigi never really understood slang, despite her follower count. Most of it went over her head, and she wasn’t well versed in meme culture. But, in the words of Jan, maybe she was a simp.

And maybe that was okay.

#rupauls drag race #rpdr #rpdr12 #rpdr fanfiction #rpdr fic #crystal methyd #gigi goode #nicky doll #jackie cox #jan sport #crystal x gigi #gigi x crystal #crygi #goodemethyd #jankie #its implied tho

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fumiko-matsubara · 5 years ago

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AssClass Rewrite: How Kaho should’ve been portrayed instead

I’m just transferring what I’ve proposed in the discord server to here for easy access UwU.

I hate how Matsui oversimplified Kaho’s character until she’s literally being portrayed as Maehara’s overly unsophisticated bitch ex-girlfriend and left her like that, implying that it’s okay for fans to put her under the same level of being horrible as Seo.

Haha how about NO?

With all the red flags that are just plain obvious throughout Kaho and Seo’s interaction in the chapter, Matsui had the chance to write her as the unfortunate girlfriend of the school’s rudest student. But noooo, he just went “it’s too complicated so let’s just end it like that” and it’s pissing me off smh

So, here’s my take on her character UwU:

Kaho is like the BIGGEST SIMP for all the Ikemen in school, and she will go out her way to get close to them, even asking them out (Zaina and I headcanoned that she’s from the Tennis club, but only because Isogai was also a member and she didn’t think that the club is separated by gender lmao). She’s basically Ikemen crazy, a pursuer, and does all the chasing.

If that’s the case then, how did she ended up dating Seo, of all people, with his ugly rude shitty ass self being the opposite of what the traditional Ikemen is?

Let me add a defining personality trait of hers then: Kaho is very un-confrontational.

Because of this certain trait of hers, she couldn’t say “No” when Seo asked her out, especially since the guy has a really good reputation at school as a virtuoso and for his “exceptional” (yeah right) English skills, that his family is said to be stinking rich, and that his outrageous personality in general makes everyone in school uncomfortable.

As Zaina, who is @dreaming-of-assclass, have pointed out in her tea spill post about Seo, there is an obvious power imbalance between the two, that it’s beyond uncomfortable to think about what could’ve happened to Kaho had she rejected him when he asked her out, broken up with him when she had enough, or especially had she got caught cheating on him behind his back. Paired that with my take of Kaho being un-confrontational, she’s literally trapped and it’s heartbreaking.

Her crush on Maehara is definitely genuine, from what we’ve seen in the chapter of how happy they are together and the fact that Maehara is very popular with girls in school pre Class E and is considered as an Ikemen, brushing aside his “fast-dating” trait.

Background and background:

When Kaho and Seo first started dating, she briefly stopped her pursuing habits, but then suddenly went back to it after seeing more of how shitty Seo really is in general (As previously mentioned, she couldn’t just call the relationship off, considering Seo’s reputation in school and how much power he has in the relationship along with how un-confrontational Kaho is). So, I’m gonna assume here for a bit. Kaho “unofficially” broke up with him, by keeping a distance from him until they, hopefully that is, drifted apart that they’re no longer together without the need of an actual declaration of breaking up or something.

So by that logic, to Kaho, it’s now okay to go after other guys since she already “unofficially broken up” with Seo. Then we have Maehara: handsome, athletic, fun, good personality, and very popular among junior high school girls in Kunugigaoka town. Despite his fast-dating playboy trait, he’s considered by many as an Ikemen. Kaho loves Ikemen, especially the very good-looking ones. So after him she goes lmao. Of course, with your girl being both a simp and a pursuer, she’s the one who asked him out. And Maehara, being your everyday fast-dating playboy, of course, said yes.

Now we have the retaliation chapter:

Kaho and Maehara might have been dating for a few weeks at this point, considering that Maehara knows of her daily schedule and how she commutes to school. They’re chill with each other and just happy together. All good.

Then Seo showed up.

With all the points I’ve stated earlier about their power imbalance, with Kaho being un-confrontational, she’s beyond panicking at this point for getting caught. (Let’s be real, Maehara kind of made things worse by pointing out the sudden change in her schedule as of lately. Important point: I’ll address this too shortly).

Cue the big mistake she had made that day: using Maehara as a scapegoat just so that she wouldn’t have to deal with facing Seo’s wrath, especially with how horrible his temper was. Yes, it’s wrong for her to do that, but you can’t exactly hate her for it since poor girl is beyond scared, that she had to do it.

To quote what Zaina and I have discussed months ago, about the café scene:

Fumiko – “I’ve also noticed something in the retaliation chapter. It’s only Seo who actually insults disguised Kayano and Nagisa. Kaho was more like, reprimanding them angrily rather than explicitly insulting them. And when they were talking about what happened with Maehara, it was Seo who was carrying the whole. Kaho was more of “I know right?!” rather than expressing her thoughts.”

Zaina – “EXACTLY!! It’s so clear that he’s the way ruder one!!! And she’s just going along with things to please him.”

Fumiko – “She even looked scared when Seo asked her if she had previously brought other people with her to the café. If 3E were that empathetic enough, surely the recon team would realize the way Kaho was just trying to go along with Seo’s rudeness to please him.”

Zaina – “I feel like in canon, none of 3-E was thinking very straight, or open-minded like they usually do. Because of Maehara’s humiliation and the direct insults towards them, it felt personal and they didn’t want to see it any other way. This was unfortunately exemplified by Koro’s encouragement. He really wasn’t a good role model at all for supporting this. Because you’re right: how did none of the recon team, or anyone notice how the two interacted?? How scared and stressed Kaho looked?? Especially Nagisa, who specializes in reading people and is sitting right across them??”

The last point made a lot of sense. We should really make Nagisa notice Kaho’s obvious cry for help, and even Kayano too for how obvious Kaho was faking it to Seo.

So now, we have the whole revenge thing:

Zaina – “You know, the revenge that 3E got on Seo and Kaho was super harsh. But it’s even more messed up when you remember that Koro encouraged and helped planned it.”

Fumiko – “I don’t like how they managed to get away with that with little to no witnesses. The lasy who asked the three to cut the branches should’ve noticed that large branches fell on two kids in front of her.”

Zaina – “The problem with AssClass is that they never acknowledge the consequences of their actions ever, which makes it hard to be realistic sometimes.”

Fumiko – “Another thing I don’t like about the retaliation chapter was that Kaho and Seo thought it was just a very unlucky day for them. No one else knew that 3E did all that shit. They literally got away with it with 0 consequences.”

So here’s how I think 3E should face the consequences of their actions in this chapter, which involves adding the scene of where Seo shoved Kaho just to get inside the restroom from the farther convenience store, it may have not been explicitly shown in the manga, but it was implied.

Until we get to Nagisa and Kayano noticing the huge red flags in the café, to 3E initially, both Kaho and Seo are equally in the wrong and deserve the same punishment. All the canon process in the revenge can still remain here, if y’all fine with that. After noticing the red flags and witnessing Seo shoving Kaho out of the way, wouldn’t it be best if they started to reflect on their actions from that moment? Like “did we go too far? Is she really that bad as we all initially thought? Was this even the right thing to do in the first place?”

It’s also a good chance for them to reflect on the fact that Koro encouraged all of this and is one of the most involved in planning, considering the fact that he is still a teacher, and he literally encouraged them to humiliate two kids in public. At the same time, even Koro might reflect on what he teaches them.

Also, Zaina pointed out that Maeheara literally did not learn anything from this in the end and just went back to his fast-dating habits like the whole thing never happened in the first place.

So let me addressed what I’ve mentioned earlier, then.

Maehara and Kaho dated for quite a while if he already knew about her daily routine, and it’s showing that they really do like each other and enjoy each other’s company. No bad blood whatsoever. So after finding out that Kaho is dating him behind Seo’s back, also known as the rudest student in school with such a horrible temper, don’t you guys think it was a very bad dick move of him to expose Kaho, the very girl who he was just having a great time with, just like that while it’s beyond obvious at how scared she was of Seo and is trying to save herself from getting in big trouble? Couldn’t he just have helped her with making her excuses more believable so that both of them could get out of trouble?? He’s good at talking, so he can definitely make it work. So why did he choose the option where either him or Kaho could the brunt of it, when it obvious that he’s gonna take it considering he’s from Class E?

We’re also definitely gonna make him learn something out of this in the end smh.

And that’s the end of my long ass essay UwU

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclas rewrite #target on #tsuchiya kaho #kaho tsuchiya #maehara hiroto #hiroto maehara #seo tomoya #tomoya seo #korosensei #class e #my characterization #please let Kaho break up with that abusive clown #Free Kaho

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the-lady-writes-what · 4 years ago

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Let Horikoshi tell his story, goddamit!

Warning: Long post ahead but this is something I needed to get off my chest. Spoiler warnings if you haven’t read the manga in the last few volumes.

What I’m about to say might be slightly controversial, but I’m not in love with the My Hero Academia fandom right now. We’ve always known that aspects of the hero society was shit and something was going to give. The culture and society Horikoshi created has major flaws, people get left behind, and people turn into Shigaraki. Twice deserved better than what he got. The Hero’s Commission is run by assholes. Hawks is both a victim and enabler of a system that coddles civilians and exploits everybody else. It’s shit. But you know what else? I don’t think any of that justifies the actions of certain characters.

The kind of world that the P.L.F is trying to create is a world worse off than the one heroes created. We’re talking about the wanton use of quirks, which are basically weapons. It isn’t a stretch to compare guns to quirks. Gun laws, at least in theory, are supposed to keep them out the wrong hands, hold gun owners to higher safety standards, and to ensure the safety of those who live with people can legally own and operate firearms. The kind of world that P.L.F wants is where everyone can use quirks to their hearts content regardless of the rights of others and the strong to rule and perhaps even to oppress the weak. That’s pretty much the same thing happening now, except to a grander scale.

Can you imagine Eri growing up in that kind of world if the antagonists win? She spent most of her life being abused by someone much stronger than her. Would she even be safe? Would civilians with weak quirks or having no quirks at all be able to take up the load left behind when everything they knew is dismantled? We’re talking catastrophic socio-economic consequences to a revolution in which it’s basically every man for himself. Would the vast population of Japan in My Hero Academia be able to take up the load burdened on them in the vacuum created by a hero-less society? Considering that most of them enjoyed a huge drop in criminality while heroes were around, they wouldn’t consider themselves safe. And those with weaker quirks or being quirkless altogether would barely be able to hang on to the society that protected them for so long against crime and domestic terrorism.

Shigaraki is a tragic, almost sympathetic villain. Maybe even just an antagonist rather than a villain. He was abused, manipulated, and forgotten by society, but that doesn’t excuse the literal damage he’s done to the general population. It might just be my salty opinion, but I generally don’t think that being abused as a child is an excuse to hurt others. No matter if Shigaraki somehow wins, he won’t be satisfies. He’s stated multiple times that he hates everything in the world. He is the worst outcome of what happens when people get ignored and he is the very monster that hero society helped foster. Even so, Shigaraki was kept in the black and white mentality of a child and never permitted to grow out of it. He’s like a teenager who gets bullied at home and at school until one day he takes his dad’s gun to school and opens fire. I have seen some people simp after the man in a similar way degenerates idolize the Columbine shooters. Nothing that was ever done to him justifies the world he wants to create that would end up doing more harm than good and hurting people like Eri.

Finally my last point is that this is called My Hero Academia. It’s supposed to be about heroes. We are watching a bunch of kids trying to better themselves and become the kind of heroes who help people, who do it for the greater good. Hero society fucked up and Hawks killed Twice. That’s on Hawks and the Commission, not those damn kids. Do you think for a second that if and when Midoriya or Ochako or any of the other 1-A students find out what happened, that they’ll give up or become just like Hawks? If yes, then what is the point of watching them grow? There’s only two reasons why writers create problematic societies like the one in MHA. 1) It’s a dystopian 2) They plan to fix that society with their protagonists. Since My Hero Academia doesn’t fit the definition of a dystopian story in the truest sense, then I believe that Horikoshi plans to use the students of U.A to fix the problems of society. We have seen them grow, seen their anxieties and frustrations, and if all that was for nothing then why did Horikoshi set out to write a story to give up on his characters and make a for such a sad, pessimistic, depressing end?

The most frustrating part of observing the fandom is scrolling through posts where people are rooting for Shigaraki and the other antagonists. They’re not wrong in that the hero society is extremely flawed to say the least, but don’t throw those kids under the bus. I don't think for a second that Ochako is going to react well if she learns that a hero killed someone, even a villain. I don’t think any of those kids will. I think Tokoyami is in for some major soul-searching if he wants to continue in his hero training.

Don’t lump in the actions of a fucked up society in with Class 1-A and the other protagonists. They’re there to learn how to be heroes and Horikoshi has written a piece that gives off too much hope in these kids to suddenly swerve into despair. Right now, the main protagonists are facing what we in the writing world call a “darkest hour.” Morals and skills are being tested, hopes are low, and it doesn’t look good. Even if they win (which if I’m going to be honest is going to happen because again the manga is called My Hero Academia), they’re going to regroup, recoup, and think about how they going to meet the next challenge. They’re going to question everything they know, even hero society. After the “darkest hour,” protagonists always learn and come back stronger and wiser than before. This is a really hard read but I have hope that these kids are not only going to learn the harsh realities of the world they live in but also figure out how to improve it. Our world right now is pretty fucked up too and I personally find solace in MHA even despite the current arch. It’s because I have the hope that these kids are going to fix the problems in their own society, but certain pessimistic fucks won’t let them. Let Horikoshi tell his story and at the end you can make your judgment call whether or not it was right investing hope into the main characters and the rest of Class 1-A.

#my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha #fandom problems #this has been my TED talk

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magioftheseas · 5 years ago

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Encroaching Shadows

Summary: In which Natsuhiko has to come to terms with the terror he's willingly associated himself with for his lady's sake. Or at least he tries.

Rating: T+

Warnings: Suicide and minor violence.

Notes: I think the broadcasting club is neat. I would like more material that fleshes out their character. There’s not a lot of fan-material that does so, and thus I wrote this fic to fill some of that void. Also I was just really interested in the idea of exploring Natsuhiko and his relationships (particularly with Tsukasa). He’s surprisingly valid for a simp.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The school bell resounded through the halls. Orange light filtered through the windows, and there, encased in the encroaching shadows, a pair of students laid entwined on the floor.

It’s strange, Natsuhiko thought. It’s so cold. Even though we’re close.

He wants to laugh, but it hurts too much to do so and he’s just tired. So, so tired. There’s dust particles fluttering about in the air—and there’s blood streaking the floor and his uniform. The hand he has in his grasp has long gone limp, but it’s still pliable. His heart is still hammering stubbornly, and he does crack a smile.

Looks like I’m slow to die, too.

For now, he supposes he can enjoy the moment. She’s always been so cold, tense, and distant, but now she’s close and relaxed. She looks like she’s sleeping. She’s beautiful.

Natsuhiko uses his free hand to brush back the strands of spring green, still vibrant against her pale cheeks. She doesn’t so much as stir. But it does feel—strange. Like rubber, almost. She’s still cold. She’s still freezing. When he inhales, bitter iron mingles with only remnants of her natural perfume.

It’s cold. It still hurts. He doesn’t know if he can sleep like this. It’s taking what feels like forever.

I’m tired, but I don’t—I don’t...?

Oh. Wow. He’s shaking.

I-I don’t want to—

He wants to scream, but he’s frozen in place, held there by a beautiful dead girl.

“What’s thiiiiis?”

Natsuhiko blinks. The new voice isn’t what he expected. Innocent curiosity instead of a scream of horror. Something drifts closer—even though he can’t hear any footprints. But when his head shifts, he does see a round childish face, with wide eyes and two little fangs peaking from his open mouth.

A kid...?

The kid isn’t wearing the school’s uniform, but upon meeting his stare, he pulls down his hat and grins.

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Tsukasa! You called me, huh?”

“Called...?” The words are sluggish. Of course, Natsuhiko is having difficulty speaking. It still hurts so bad that he has to gasp pretty greedily for air as he does. “N-No, no, you don’t understand.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the kid chirped, now with a terrifyingly vacant expression. “I meant her.” In the reflection in Natsuhiko’s wild and disbelieving stare, the kid’s lips curved upwards in what couldn’t possibly be described as a smile. “Sakura, right?”

In the end, it was Natsuhiko’s screaming that alerted someone else.

“There is the near shore, and the far shore,” Tsukasa sing-songs. “The only way to cross is either through cooperation or to die. I don’t really care for that. I just help those who’ve drowned in-between.”

He twirls around.

“It’s funny. How many wishes you make when you’re dying. When you’re dead. It’s also pretty sad, so I don’t miiiiind granting them. That said, I can’t do them for free! I require payment!”

She stares, expressionless and cold.

“You’ve already given up your life,” he reminded her cheerfully. “After that—what’s a little more?”

“You can grant any wish?” she asks, simple and unperturbed.

“Any, any! Even if it’s supposed to be impossible! I’m not like my brother, you know!” Tsukasa beams, leaning in close, with the glittering gaze of a predator. “Those who try to tell you anything’s impossible are liars. I don’t like liars.”

She’s still unmoved.

“Then, I...”

She only hesitates for the briefest of moments.

“I’ll give anything, Hanako-san.”

A lot of people have been giving Natsuhiko pitying stares, no matter how often he smiles or laughs them off. Even the teachers are going pretty painfully easy on him. It was pretty nice, considering how he was used to looks of contempt for the longest time before. At least, it was nice—until it started feeling too fake and fleeting to stand.

“If you need anyone, I’m here to listen,” a classmate says to him. He thinks it’s the class president? They’ve literally never held a conversation outside of Natsuhiko being scolded for taking things too lightly. And now, this person is saying, “Take care of yourself, okay, Hyuuga-kun?”

It feels like a joke, so he smiles. It’s not very funny, but he still laughs.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!”

He doesn’t want to be here, so he escapes. All the way back to the room where everything changed. Where the only person who treats him normally remains. She’s sipping tea and at true ease.

“My lady,” he greets. “I’m—”

“Supposed to be in class,” she cuts him off. “What are you doing here? Leave. Right this instance.”

It’s only here where his smile twitches.

“I’d rather be with you.”

“Sakura,” a kid cuts in, floating by with a wide, inquiring gaze. “Is that guy your boyfriend?”

“He’s not,” she replies curtly. “He is little more than a nuisance.”

So harsh! But he does laugh sincerely.

“Am I your boyfriend?”

Wait, no! Now, he can actually panic.

“No.” She doesn’t miss a beat. “That is not our relationship. I am your assistant and nothing more.”

“Oh, okay!” The kid still embraces her tightly, much to Natsuhiko’s despair. The brat even has an innocent smile on his face as he does so. “She’s my assistant and you’re an annoyance! So, hurry up and leave!”

“Sorry,” Natsuhiko said, shaking his head. “Uh, no can do. See, it’s so suffocating that I might actually die for real. Sorry, my lady. Do you mind me being selfish for a while?”

Sakura gives him a long hard look. Because she loves him, she’s visibly irritated. But because she’s too kind for her own good, she sighs and nods.

“Very well. Just do not expect me to pay you more mind than the air.”

She’s really great, and Natsuhiko’s all too happy to sit down in the corner and admire her, especially admire the way light rays catch on her heavenly visage. It’s just a shame that the brat is a blight in black, drifting behind like a shadow. The kid’s quick to ignore him, reaching out across the table and stuffing his face with the treats laid out.

He eats messily, licking his fingers like a greedy, greedy child. Sakura sets her tea aside, sighs, and hands him a handkerchief to wipe his face off with. He, of course, blows his nose in it.

“I’ve been thinking,” the kid says. “How about the story of the youkai?”

“We should space out the rumors,” Sakura replied. “If we are too aggressive too quickly, those who stop us will act fast.” A pause. “Patience, Hanako-san. Think about the long run. Think about how much you’d like to accomplish.”

The kid bites his hand on accident, but he doesn’t even bat an eye and just keeps on eating.

“Long run?” He swallows, and then he laps at the injury on his hand just as a cat would. “Are we going somewhere? I still haven’t figured out a way to leave the school, Sakura.”

“I meant metaphorically. That surely, you want better results that last, rather than an inconvenient burst that fizzles.” She holds out her hand. “Let me bandage you up.”

The kid stuck his entire hand into his mouth. Sakura twitched. Natsuhiko got up and retrieved a small kit they kept in the club room, one that only he really used.

“Kid,” he said. “How about you let my lady do all the planning for now? She used to be top of her class, you know. She’s very smart.” Walking up to them, he pulled the kid’s hand out of his mouth and began to wipe it off. “Just relax.”

The little asswipe spat in his face. Natsuhiko accidentally got it in his mouth, shuddered, and he began to turn quite pale. He most certainly ended up gagging into the trashcan.

“Don’t do that,” Sakura reprimanded. “If you are getting unruly, you should go for a walk to clear your mind instead.” Then, directed to the still slumped Natsuhiko, “You can keep an eye on him, can’t you?”

“E-Eh?” Weakly and dizzily, he lifted his head. “You’re not coming with?”

“I’d rather have time by myself to think, if that is to be allowed.” She looked toward the kid patiently. Natsuhiko didn’t remark on it. The way Sakura was clearly waiting for permission. The way the kid grinned.

“Sure, why not! I’m getting bored of this room anyway!”

Swallowing back his own bile, Natsuhiko forced an irritated smile before making his way over and pulling the kid by the arm.

“You’re not going to immediately run off and cause trouble, right?”

The kid beams up at him, too. And then he spits on his face again.

The thing is, as horrible as the brat is, Natsuhiko does find himself fretting when the kid wanders too far off for reasons beyond everyone else’s sake.

“Can you stay close?” he practically begs. “Do you need your hand held or what?”

The kid blinks wide eyes at him. The widest pair of eyes that Natsuhiko has ever seen. He sticks out the hand that’s been bandaged, and Natsuhiko is too taken aback to do anything but mutely take it.

What the hell? It’s almost like he actually is a kid.

It’s—weirdly nostalgic. There had been a time where Natsuhiko found a lost kid before. She had been bawling her eyes out and crying for her mother, and obviously, he couldn’t leave her alone. She gripped his hand tightly enough to bruise, but she had been precious all the same. It had been enough to make Natsuhiko wish he had a younger sibling of his own.

This wasn’t exactly like that, because this kid—Tsukasa, right—was a terror and probably a demon. But his hand was still small in Natsuhiko’s own, and Natsuhiko could almost pretend it hadn’t been used to tear smaller spirits into smaller pieces.

Maybe, he thought, squeezing that deceptively small hand. This kid, he—just needs guidance? Like an older sibling?

The kid was now staring in the same direction that Natsuhiko was, seemingly confused as if there was something that caught his attention. He’s squinting, too, as if there’s something beyond all that nothing.

“Tsukasa, right?” Natsuhiko finally spoke up, getting his attention.

“That’s me!” The kid beamed. “Did you somehow forget?”

It’s because I get confused. That’s not what the lady calls you. But, he knows he’s dumb so he doesn’t expect it to make sense even if it’s explained to him. “Uh. There anywhere in particular you want to go?”

Tsukasa hums thoughtfully.

“Theeeee—garden? Maybe?”

“Ooh, good choice,” Natsuhiko agrees amicably. “There are some cute girls in the gardening club after all.”

“I want to eat everything there.”

“Haha... I hear there’s a great view from one of the windows. Let’s go there instead.”

“Mmkay.”

Tsukasa half-dangles out of window, and Natsuhiko has to keep a secure grip on the back of his robe so that he doesn’t fall. He has no doubts that Tsukasa is completely indifferent towards the girls tending the flowers. Actually, he seems to be waving his arms at a bird perched below.

Natsuhiko, thinking of a cat, tugged him back so that the bird remained safely out of the demon brat’s reach.

He’s more than a handful, alright. Because of him, the lady suffers even more than she already had. But also because of him, she’s still here. So how should I feel towards him, exactly?

He doesn’t really want to feel gratitude or indebted, even if the kid had been well-meaning in his intervention. He’s definitely irritated, aggravated, and concerned about this kid the way he’d be worried about a ticking time bomb. Although because of the kid’s appearance being that of, well, a kid, he can’t deny there being a protective aspect as well.

“Oh.”

Case in point, Natushiko’s grip slipped enough that Tsukasa would’ve fallen out the window and that only earned a dulled response from the kid. Meanwhile, Natsuhiko yelped and managed to grab his ankles at the last minute and yanked him back in with, of course, an angry bird that was fluttering and squirming in the kid’s grasp.

“Let that go!” Natsuhiko snapped, slapping his wrists so that he’d release the poor thing and the bird wasted no time in flying away in several desperate wing flaps. “Also, be more careful! No more hanging out of windows, alright, kid?!”

“I don’t get the big deal,” the brat replied. “It’s not like I would’ve died.”

“That’s—!” Completely true. He’s a ghost. He wasn’t at any actual risk. But. I... “Not the problem! I would’ve had to run down so many stairs to make sure you didn’t cause real damage! Especially to the garden! It’s no good to make girls cry, y’know! Especially girls as cute as those!”

Tsukasa had already lost interest and was now gathering the feathers scattered across the floor. He observed the speckled ones with wide eyes, and Natsuhiko could only heave out a heavy sigh.

This brat... This piece of shit devil brat...

“You really are a kid, aren’t you?” He kneels down to gather feathers as well, chuckling as he did. “You’re especially bad-behaved, though.”

“Mm.” Tsukasa nods, so at least he’s aware of that. “So people say.”

So people say... Were you like this even as a human? How long have you been a kid, exactly? And—how many of those years were spent alone?

“Mm?” Tsukasa blinks at him owlishly and then he starts counting on his fingers. “Um, ten... Twenty... Thirty? What year is it?”

“Year?” Natsuhiko repeated dumbly. “Did I—ask that aloud?”

“I died... What year was it?” Tsukasa’s head tilts as he thinks it over. “Um. Ummm. It was—right. No. Um.” His face scrunches up. “Amane and I heard on the radio. Man just walked on the moon. Right! That was 1969!” He blinks several times, smile frozen. “Was that...the year I died?”

“1969?!” Natsuhiko choked. “K-Kid, that—that was like, fifty years ago!”

“Fifty! Yeah!” Tsukasa exclaimed delightedly, pointing at him with the feather before beaming. “Fifty years! It’s been fifty!”

“W-Well, it hasn’t been exactly fifty,” Natsuhiko mutters, flustered, to Tsukasa’s confusion. “But like, it has been a while. That was... Jeez, that was before my parents were born.”

“Yeah,” Tsukasa agrees, almost distantly. “Phones can be carried around now. Super weird.”

Fifty and even forty years are a pretty long time. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was beyond his comprehension. Standing up, he folded his arms.

“Alright, so I guess now’s as good a time as any. Listen, kid. We’re going to be associated for however long you need the lady for, so we might as well get along, yeah?” Of course, Tsukasa was shuffling through his feathers to see all the different designs he had. Attention span of a squirrel, this kid, but Natsuhiko pushed through, fueled by his determination. “That said, you clearly need someone to watch over you and make sure you don’t get into trouble. So, from now on, you can consider me your big brother, yeah?” He winked as Tsukasa looked up at him. “I promise I’ll be nice and spoil you from time to time.”

Tsukasa’s expression was completely unreadable. Natsuhiko, still smiling, offered his hand to help the other up. To his relief, the kid took his hand—and then to his immediate horror, the kid twisted his arm in a way that threatened to break bone. Before he could even get out a plea, he was slammed into the wall. He yelped, his heart pounding.

“K-Kid?! Hey?! C-Come on, if I said something wrong, you could’ve just yelled at me...!” He feels his jaw swelling from the impact and winces as Tsukasa presses his wrist harder into his back. His legs were shaking. “K-Kid... Kid, please... Please...”

“I,” Tsukasa inhales and huffs into his ear. To do so, he must have been standing on his tippy toes, and the realization that this runt could very well kill him and nobody would be able to do anything had Natsuhiko’s breath hitch in hysterics. Tsukasa just goes on, “I already have a big brother. You’re not to take his place.”

“O-Okay!” Natsuhiko cried, trembling. “Okay, okay! I won’t! P-Promise! I’m sorry!”

Tsukasa doesn’t respond. For a few heart-pounding seconds, Natsuhiko lets his eyes screw shut, tears seeping through and then—nothing. The kid lets him go. And when Natsuhiko tentatively looks back, hand instinctively going to his bruised jaw. No one was there. No one at all.

“...kid?”

“Oh gosh!” someone exclaims and Natsuhiko just sees it’s one of his classmates rushing up, face awash in alarm. “Hyuuga-kun, are you okay?! Did someone attack you?”

“I just...” Gaze dropping, all Natsuhiko observes is the scattered mess of feathers. “A, huh, bird flew in and I had a hell of a time getting it to leave... I guess. Haha.”

Seriously—what the hell was that even about?

“U-Um... My lady, we, um, we have a problem.”

In his shame, he can only return to the broadcasting club empty-handed. The lady perks up from her reading, expression impassive as Natsuhiko ducks his head and avoids her stare.

“I uh, I don’t...know where the kid is.”

“What happened to your face, Natsuhiko?”

Normally, he’d light up from her show of concern, but he just flinches instead, grimacing.

“Said something that made the kid angry. I...” He laughs it off. “Did you know he had a big brother?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Of course I did.”

That had him jolt with surprise.

“W-Wha, for real?!”

“The other Hanako-san,” she explained simply. “He mentions him all the time. You never noticed?”

“Mentions... Who?” The gears began to turn and after a while, Natsuhiko gasped, figuring it out. “Amane?!”

“That was his brother’s human name, yes.”

“No way! I thought that was an old crush!” Under the lady’s withering stare, he hurriedly added, “O-Or like, a sister. Because, uh, Amane’s a girl’s name...”

“It’s gender-neutral, Natsuhiko.”

“Yeah... Guess so.” He nods along. “Uh, wow. Okay. So... Wait. Other Hanako-san?”

“How badly did he hurt you?”

Natsuhiko held up his bandaged wrist with a chuckle. “Sprained it a bit but nothing too severe, thank god. But that kid’s seriously scary, my lady.”

“You were fortunate,” she said softly. “In his current state, he cannot cause much harm. He is still weak, for the time being.”

Geez, if that’s weak, I’m even more terrified.

“Do not worry about his absence,” she goes on. “Because of his state, he will return shortly. He cannot move around much and could be banished back here with something as small as a splash of hot tea.” Coincidentally, she sips the tea she has laying out. “I apologize, however. You got mixed up in this mess because of me.”

“And I don’t mind it if it’s for your sake!” He’d grab her hand but his wrist hurts too much to do that, so he just makes the gesture limply in the air. She stares at him with disdain, and it brings much more positive shivers down his spine.

Then, that lovely gaze dulls, and her frown deepens.

“So,” he says. “Uh. What’s this about another—Hanako-san?”

“That child grants the wishes of the dead,” she said. “But his brother grants the wishes of the living. Not everyone can summon him, however.”

“Huuuuh. I see.” Natsuhiko rubs his chin, and winces because he accidentally messes with his jaw. “Maybe I could try and see if he can keep the kid in check better? I mean, I could probably see him.”

Although what am I going to do if the older brother has an even worse temper?

“Do not do anything unnecessary,” the lady snapped at him. “Understand, Natsuhiko?”

Anger borne of concern is good, though.

“Got’cha~!”

He agreed without a second thought but a part of him still wondered. Now that he wasn’t afraid for his life, he could mull things over better.

Older brother who grants the wishes of the living... If he’s at all better behaved, why couldn’t we have ended up with him?

Well. He knows why. He’s stupid and dense, but he’s not completely blind to his situation and surroundings. He could only wish to be so ignorant, that way he wouldn’t notice the pitying and weary looks he gets for reasons beyond his personality. He hasn’t been asked any questions about that day him and the lady were discovered in the classroom, and that’s for the better. Because there’s nothing to say. No answer to give.

He had already agreed to sever ties by staying with her. The least he can do is commit even when the initial plan falls through due to one violent little runt with a brother complex.

Still.

“I’m back!”

Without a care, as if he never lost his temper, the kid drops in and clings to the lady much to Natsuhiko’s gritted dismay.

“You should not lose your temper so easily,” the lady reprimanded, albeit gently. “Natsuhiko is not worth throwing a tantrum over.”

“Ehhh? You really think so?” The kid turns those big eyes back at him, and all Natsuhiko can do is force a smile and wave with his bandaged hand. Pursing his lips, the kid looked contemplative. “Okay.” He buries his face into the lady’s hair. “Sakura, I’m tired.”

“You overdid it,” she said, and Natsuhiko watches as the kid slumps against her.

“I’m really, really tired, Sakura.”

“Because you overdid it.”

“Read me something!”

Natsuhiko twitched as the lady simply sighed.

“Natsuhiko, pull up a chair for him.”

He does so, lips pressed tightly together and he doesn’t say anything even though the kid clamors into the chair and doesn’t even sit in it properly. He just props his head against the back and lets his eyes fall shut as the lady reads her book aloud in a droning voice. The kid falls into a not-quite rest, but Natsuhiko knows better at this point. He’s stupid, but he can figure stuff out.

The evening bell to signal that the school day was over is resounding. Natsuhiko wonders if anyone’s worried about him. He shakes his head, deciding it doesn’t matter.

“So that white expanse up there is really made up of stars?” The lady crooned, and the kid answers with a content hum. “No matter how long he looked at it, he just couldn’t imagine space being the cold, empty place his teacher had said it was.”

The shadows begin to creep in, the sun setting, and it wouldn’t be long before the last living soul was lost in the whispers.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #natsuhiko hyuuga #tsukasa yugi #sakura nanamine #Magi Fics

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mindswe-had · 4 years ago

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so i haven't written on here in... a while. summer holidays, when i was away camping with my family more specifically. i did feel the urge to come back to this life ranting habit that i had quite a few times ever since but to be fair, i became so lost i wasn't sure what to tell. oh the ups and downs you can go through within just a month and a half. i feel more settled now, more grounded. so here's what we missed, i guess (spoiler alert: it's a LOT)

stage 1- the breakup

let's start from the beginning shall we. the ex and i broke up in june, but we did know that. i left off saying how i was taking baby steps taking it day by day a month after it all happened (approx 2 weeks post seeing each other for the last time, what a trip). i'm not gonna lie, that was an up moment. i've had pretty bad lows after that one, and some (surprisingly) high ups as well (relatively high lol i mean it was nothing ecstatic but considering my global mindset, those were far from being expected). i'm not mad about that though, it's all part of the aftermath right? i still get really quick passing lows even now, but they did fade off a lot and i'm honestly proud of that. i do miss being in a good relationship. the feeling(s) of it. but after weeks of sadnes, guilt and anger i can finally look back on the time we had together and just feel grateful it all happened. maybe it wasn't the most perfect relationship you'd ever encounter, that mainly because of me, but we did have each other's back. our moments spent together felt literally magical, and i'm so so glad i got to experience that. i grew a lot as a person thanks to her, which i would've never expected one second. i felt alive again. and maybe in a way it gave me hope, you know? for the first time in a really long time i finally felt something. torrents of emotions, love joy hate fearsadness and anything else you could imagine. it was all so violent and brutal, yet so beautiful and refreshing. globally a positive chaos i would say. i never lied about my feelings one second, neither to myself or her. and even if i had tried to fool anyone i would've been unable of it. the feeling was too strong. so time did its own thing and we broke up. even though we were still friends by the time, conversations slowly became less and less consistent and she stopped talking to me completely circa the end of august, in a pretty harsh way that made me feel so invalidated. but my brain is a whole jungle and honestly i understand her being mad at me. it just hit me in a way because i guess for the first time i could really tell just how much apart we had grown, something i couldn't quite explain even now. that whole event made me lose it a bit more i'll admit. but it was more of an anger stage this time. i felt so delusional, in an inverted t&t way. there's no other way to describe it. i was mad, so mad and at myself for the most part. mad that i made the one person who had saved my life on many points go with just how much i had fucked up. life went on and eventually that melancholia and part of the guilt both started fading. i do miss it all but finally i can look back on things and tell myself, it was beautiful while it lasted. it was powerful, taught me more about myself (and others) than anything else ever did. there's a long way to go but i'm convinced the experience actually made me a bit of a better person. i'm still fucked mentally speaking as it's always been but i felt change, which i hadn't in ages. i do want to get better again, something i had given up on for a very long time. and i'm working o that the hardest i can. maybe she won't be there to see it, which i don't blame her for, she really did make me work on becoming an improved version of myself. god nawal would be proud of me for saying all this (and meaning it). if grief really is part of a breakup then i think i've come a long way. now i know i'm not alone. the feeling isn't lost forever and it never took a single try for a bird to learn how to fly.

stage 2- GIRLS

that's pretty self explanatory isn't it? who knew getting off a relationship would make my inner raging gay shine through? in other words, i learned post breakup times make me feel extremely gay and craving for a new relationship. i started simping over girls a LOT more than i used to. i mean god, i was after my summer horse riding coach and i really did consider acting on it for a minute there. i did nothing though, the cut was too fresh and it's not fair on anyone getting over a relationship with someone else. does that make sense? it's 2.11am and i can't think. anyway, the ongoing situation also is something there. settling in paris, i finally met lisa. old crush from 4 years ago. well i'll just say i understand... why. also, i got on a dating/meeting app?? and i'm getting along super well with this one girl we might go get a drink soon. i don't know, man. so many possibilities everywhere. i'm not even sure i want a new relationship right now but hey i'm the only captain of my own ship and i'll do what i feel. oh and i might be asexual? that's just an idea though. welcome to a whole brand new questioning phase.

stage 3- who is SHE

i'm changing so much i can barely recognise myself anymore it's crazy. fresh start i guess? in the span of a month only i got my nose pierced, it's a stud right now but i'm waiting for it to heal to replace it with a ring. if it ever does heal because i keep ripping it off. i got second earlobe piercings as well and am considering getting my septum done. i changed my hair too, got bangs and pink hair:') waiting a bit until i can finally go bleach blonde and do whatever i want with it. i'm losing weight, planning on getting a breast reduction and exercising a little. a little but it's still there, baby steps once again right? i'm really trying to morph into someone i love more than my old self and it's scaring the shit out of me but i'm also kind of proud. kind of excited to see where i'll be in a few months from now.

stage 4- Paris

i live in Paris now and go to a new art school. it's only been a few weeks but i love it so much. i feel free, finally. also depressed because living alone just ain't it sometimes, but i have to admit dance parties at 2 am in underwear are a whole new different vibe which i absolutely adore.

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