#which means any reasonable person will also be on our side as long as they're base line informed about what's going on

[dkettchen]

SCIENCE IS ON IT! The kids will be ok 🙏

(They're even calling to stop the ban while they're doing this and on the same side as the rest of us in that "[they too believe that] clinicians, patients and families should make decisions about treatment on the best available evidence, not politicians."!)

[cookinguptales]

Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!

Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?

This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.

To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.

I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.

So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.

(Good fucking riddance.)

So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.

(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)

Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...

Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.

Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)

More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.

Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.

Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.

And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.

The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.

They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.

In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.

I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.

For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)

I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.

And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.

The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.

Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.

The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.

It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.

Y'all, it was a shit show.

Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.

And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃

(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)

We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.

Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.

I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.

One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.

All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.

Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.

I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.

(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)

I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.

I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.

Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao

But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“F��er pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[pseudophan]

different anon but similar feels, also also how do those stuck up people think dnp got where they are? Like do you have any idea how many phuckin millions they've made out of us being unhinged and cringy like I don't go to their fuckin house but I damn well bought the t shirt and read the rpf and drew the whiskers and watched them get more and more famous and like make ALOT of money and attention off us. And that's ok! It happened! We've all come out the other side, literally in most cases

yeah no people reallllly don't like to admit that the shipping and unhinged phandom behaviour played a major part in getting dan and phil to where they are today. it seems like there's this idea that if shipping had anything to do with it that means their content and dnp as people didn't which is just? stupid? several things can be true at the same time. dan and phil make good and engaging content that people love AND all the shipping gave them a boost and helped with people sticking around for as long as a lot of us have. it's not even that the shipping itself is the main contributor (though it is a big part) but everyone snooping into their personal lives desperate for "phan proof" by default strengthened the parasocial bond we have with them and it's that parasocial behaviour that really keeps people around. and dan and phil are so extremely aware of this, they always have been. they are willing to play into their audience's insanity because it's hugely beneficial to their careers. that isn't to say that's the only reason, they're very good at telling us to fuck off if we do cross a line, plus it's evident they find it amusing, but you're incredibly naive if you think dan and phil aren't aware of how much they're benefitting from our fujoshi tendencies lmao. and that's fine! it's good even. it's very much a win/win situation. we get to be unhinged within reason and they get to profit off that within reason

the 'within reason' part is also important though. a lot of creators have tried to mimic that success but they often go too far, they play into it too much and try to capitalise off every single aspect of their relationship and make the audience a little too involved. and then they break up, naturally. dan and phil work cause they put their relationship first and preserve their privacy, while still letting us in Just enough to make us stick around. which again isn't saying no one would stick around without the shipping that would be absurd, but the casual viewer to unhinged stan account ratio would be very different lol

all these things also apply to the fact that they're two conventionally attractive men. definitely not the sole reason they're popular, but it is a contributing factor, and it's kinda silly to pretend otherwise. especially with the amount of thirsting i have to endure on a daily basis good fucking lord you people are annoying. carry on though i suppose, live your truth, i'll live. maybe.

[getvalentined]

The Big Patreon Breakdown

Okay, Patreon's Discord Q&A ended on the 16th, and I've been waiting to see if anything else happened—like maybe a a public announcement from Patreon instead of emails sent exclusively to creators and a video hidden on the CEO's personal YT page—but nothing has happened, so I'm gonna do a breakdown of what we're looking at.

This is an EXTREMELY long post. I am not putting it behind a cut. I'm not sorry.

Short attention span version here.

—

I. The iOS processing fees are a smokescreen covering up the actual devastating changes that Patreon is forcing creators into.

The iOS fees are trash, 30 percent is extortion and we all know it—but that's not the biggest issue at hand here. Patreon is using this event as an excuse to change the entire structure of the creator side of their platform, and blaming Apple to avoid getting backlash.

They tripled their platform and processing fees in 2017, passing it on to patrons without notice, and the subsequent hemorrhage of paying users forced them to walk it back. They tried to force everyone onto their rolling billing model in 2021, and the entire community pushed back so hard they were forced again to walk it back.

This time, they're doing both and insisting it's Apple's fault, and everyone is taking that at face value because Apple sucks. And Apple does suck, but Patreon is getting what they've wanted for years by catering to Apple.

Oh, also, they're forcing creators to notify their patrons of the billing model changes (with a suggested template that explicitly refers to it as a decision made by the creator, even though nobody is making any decisions here except Jack Conte) rather than doing it themselves.

II. Patreon is not going to change course for any reason. This is set in stone.

There are multiple proofs for this, including but not limited to:

One-on-one calls between the platform's top earners and the CEO, Jack Conte, wherein the vibe was apparently not "What can we do to support your business in order to retain your place on our platform?" but rather "We know that the only way this works is if we don't do it, but how can we keep you from complaining about it any more than you already have?" One creator explained in granular detail how they run their business through this platform and why changing their billing model would ruin literally everything, and Conte responded with "Is this an essential part of your offering?"

The Patreon Team on Discord has continued to shut down all discussion of alternative options with assertions that Apple won't allow it, even if those alternatives were suggested based on legal precedent set by lawsuits against Apple, and the declaration that they will not be allowing the app to be removed from the App Store no matter what because it's the single most important and integral avenue of creator growth on the platform. (Put a pin in that.)

The platform's top earner is on the pay-per-creation billing model, the one that is going to be hit the hardest; creators on this model stand to lose literally 90 percent of their income overnight. This creator and his team were as blindsided as the rest of us, and they've been offered no assistance except for a complex math equation to try to calculate how much they should be charging people on fixed-price tiers, and no assurance except "the iOS app is the platform's highest source of engagement and is necessary to help you continue to grow."

Pay-upfront (PUF) and pay-per-creation (PPC) billing is going away for new accounts and anyone who doesn't opt out via Patreon's convoluted backend before November 1 of this year, and anyone who doesn't manually switch over to their rolling billing cycle will be automatically pushed into it on November 1, 2025. This means that PUF creators no longer have the promise of a steady paycheck when they need it, early enough in the month to pay rent and bills, while PPC creators are losing their entire business model all at once, which has resulted in a loss of 75 to 90 percent of income for multiple PPC creators who have tried to switch to the rolling billing structure in the past. They are killing these people's livelihoods and they know it, they have seen the data to prove it, but they will not be swayed.

III. Patreon claims the iOS app is the highest source of engagement on the platform at 40 percent—but will not define what "engagement" means, and staff refuse to share detailed analytics or data on the revenue share coming from the app.

Several creators, some with a couple dozen patrons and some with thousands, polled their audience to get a feel for how many of them used the app. Consistently across every creative industry, genre, and form of media, the answer was 2 percent or less. The average across a dozen-plus polls of actual active patrons, numbering into the thousands, is that around 85 percent of patrons access the platform exclusively via the web, whether on desktop or mobile. The majority didn't even know there was an app.

Further, Patreon would not explain what "engagement" means, but did not deny the possibility that dismissing an app notification on your phone counts as an "engagement."

When Patreon was asked for data on how often people pledged to support a creator via the iOS app, the only response was the claim that information is "sensitive to [Patreon's] business" and can't be shared. In a creator-exclusive server. With the people who bring that revenue onto the platform in the first place. And have our own analytics that we can look at individually, which show an average of 0 to 0.5 percent revenue from the iOS app.

IV. Patreon does not have a refund policy in place to work with Apple, and has given no implications of intention to work with Apple to shorten the time it takes for funds from iOS purchases to be paid out to creators, which is currently 75 days.

Yes, you read that correctly: at the moment, it takes 75 days before creators can cash out funds processed via iOS. On top of that, Apple's refund policy is 60 days, and the creator is not involved in the process whatsoever—if a malicious actor pledges to your page, downloads all your work over the course of a month, and then pings Apple for a refund? Apple gets to decide whether or not they get that refund.

Patreon's general refund policy is that it's up to the creator 99.9 percent of the time, with very rare cases of fraud requiring Patreon's intervention. In the case of pledges and Commerce sales via iOS, the creator has no say, and Patreon currently has no policy to protect them. They've stated that they're working on a refund policy that will work with Apple's guidelines to keep everyone happy, but at this point we all know what that means—they're just going to use Apple's refund policy.

They also wouldn't say whether or not creators would be on the hook for Apple's added processing fees, as is usually the case with other big payment processors, but it sounds like we are! So if someone pays $14.50 on the iOS app, the creator gets $10, can't pay it out, and then the malicious actor can call for a refund weeks later and the creator will owe $14.50—in spite of only ever having seen $10 and never being able to pay it out because the 75 hold hadn't passed. Sounds great!

V. Patreon's own graphics meant to explain why this is necessary and how the new fees work are not correct.

I'm gonna let these mostly speak for themselves:

The sale price listed on this graphic is $10, but adding together the three fees listed gives a total of $11.35. This is likely a copying error, as 4.35 is clearly not 30% of 10, but the lack of attention to detail on one of the only two pieces of official material that we have which refer directly to the numbers on which Patreon is signing away our livelihoods is slightly concerning.

This one totals up to 103 percent! (Actually closer to 104, since I rounded Android and Mobile down by about a quarter percent each.) The 40 percent figure on the iOS bar is based on the figure given to us by Patreon staff, and was used to place the markers to denote individual percentages on the other three.

Patreon made these and gave them to us with the assertion that they were proof that the iOS app is indispensable—why should we trust anything they say about numbers if the charts they gave us are literally impossible?

VI. Patreon refuses to offer any promises to 18+ creators that they will not be removed from the app in order to adhere to Apple's content guidelines.

Instead, Patreon staff's response to this request for reassurance is "We have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the Patreon app." You may note that's phrased very specifically, and leaves a hole big enough to drive a freight train full of iPhones straight through. They have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the app. When asked for clarification on this, confirmation that they would not be removing us from the platform if Apple pushed them to do so regardless of whether or not they have plans, this sentiment was simply repeated in more words and with more apologies, along with a reminder that Patreon has had to change their terms for 18+ creators several times already in order to keep up with laws and competition.

VII. All the features Patreon is insisting are integral for creator growth are inaccessible to 18+ creators, and questions about this were either dismissed, redirected, or ignored.

Remember how the iOS app is the single most important and integral avenue for character growth on the platform? Well, 18+ creators are not discoverable on the platform, regardless of the avenue of access. We are not visible on the app unless you have it installed, are logged in, are already following us on the platform, and click an external link to be directed to our pages from somewhere else via a mobile web browser. There is no way to find us on the platform itself.

Other features that staff insist are necessary for growth to which 18+ creators do not have access:

Patreon creator search (on web, Android and iOS apps)

Mass post editing (now called the "Library," which reads as "Something Went Wrong" for me and other 18+ creators who tried to get to it)

On-platform video hosting

Built-in cross-creator recommendations

All on-platform "commerce" features (both digital and physical goods)

The ability to market ourselves by linking to Patreon from our social media and vice-versa (we're basically not allowed to do this or risk being banned)

Yeah, about that first and that last point. We're hidden from searches on the platform, and we can't link to our pages from social media or risk permanent suspension. We cannot grow in this fashion at all, and in fact 18+ creators are getting all the downsides of this switch (except maybe for the app fee, since you can't fucking find us to pledge on the app) with none of the benefits. Nothing they are doing here will help us grow, because they've kneecapped us already. Now they're going after our capacity to obtain a steady paycheck at the beginning of the month, too.

VIII. Patreon's iOS app is currently (as of August 18, 2024) in violation of Apple's guidelines for app ratings; staff did not state any intention to become compliant by raising the app's rating as needed to maintain their 18+ creator community.

The App Store guidelines on creator apps state that they must be rated equal to the highest rated creator content on their platform. In spite of hosting 18+ content, which requires a 17+ rating per Apple, Patreon is rated 12+ in the App Store. Increasing the rating to 17+ would cut out the entire market of wealthy teenagers with iPhones, and since everything else being done here is intended to please Apple, it's unlikely this will be the point that Patreon finally gives an inch for its creators. The exact response from staff on this was "We hear and acknowledge your inputs on the app rating and are exploring our options there." Their "options" on this are to increase the rating, or to remove all 18+ content from the platform. That's it. Those are their options. Why do those need exploring, if they really give a shit about the 18+ community?

I know a lot of people out there are going to say that it would be nice if Patreon would "get rid of the porn," but you need to understand something: 18+ content is not all sexual.

18+ content can and does also include:

Horror (particularly body horror, which is explicitly or implicitly banned on all current adult-specific creator platforms, leaving me nowhere to go when Patreon kicks me)

True crime (murder, violence, theft, etc., is all 18+)

Health (blood/discussion of blood is 18+ regardless of context)

Education (what if you learn about war? that's 18+)

Trauma recovery (the word "r#pe" makes everything around it 18+)

Profanity (ko-fi marks creators 18+ for saying "fuck")

Languages (because you might learn profanity)

Weaponsmithing (because weapons are dangerous)

Leatherworking (because leather can be a fetish)

Shoemaking (feet can also be a fetish)

...even more I'm not bothering to list here.

Implying that they somehow didn't know about this extremely important part of the guidelines—which are being used as an excuse to force the top earner on the platform to ruin his entire business model—is absolute nonsense. Patreon knows about this requirement, they haven't taken any steps to comply based on their current creator population, and I will be shocked if they do. Much easier to just kick us all off, since we can barely use the damn platform as it is.

—

The entire thing makes no sense. Patreon is losing out on so much money by doing this—they're crippling all their highest-earning creators to keep the iOS app running, and it's going to hurt everyone except for Apple. The only reason I can think that they would refuse to budge on this is that there's something else going on behind the scenes between Patreon and Apple. That, or the company is intentionally throwing itself into an extremely drawn out death spiral. But we all know which of those is the more likely scenario here.

[polyamorousmood]

Opinions on "one penis policies" and how to address and deconstruct them?

Oh lawdy.

So I am generally leery of one penis policies. They are both predisposed to and often arise from unhelpful beliefs, which means one penis policies in practice are often a little fucked up.

But❗ I don't think people asking for them are irredeemable assholes, and I think there may even be some ways to do it that are sensible.

Very long post, so

First, for this post from this point forward, OPP is short for "one penis policy"

For those who don't know OPPs are exactly what they sound like. The stereotype is that a cis bisexual woman in a committed relationship with a cis (straight) man will approach him about opening the relationship. He is sympathetic and wants to let her explore her bisexuality, so he allows her to see/fuck/date other women only, figuring that he should be enough to satisfy whatever she'd be interested in doing with men. But it should be noted that the inverse can also be true. This post, while talking about it in terms from this stereotype for simplicity, can apply to a variety of situations with the appropriate swaps of genitalia and pronouns.

Why I'm leery:

As with most things that get into sketchy😬 territory with polyamory (and nonmonogamy more broadly), OPPs almost exclusively arise from insecurity. And the thing about insecurity is that for most people, the more you concede to it, the worse those insecurities get, which can snowball later down the line. Having a rule the protects some of those insecurities can encourage people to neglect working on them through other means, and opens the door for the man to feel betrayed if it later becomes important for the woman to pursue another man for any reason.

In polyamory especially (as opposed to other forms of non-monogamy) where at least one goal is to fall in love, they're really restrictive for the woman -- how many gay women down with polyamory are there? That rarity means it may take years to find a suitable partner. And it puts a heavy burden on the woman not to catch feelings for any other men, which can be really hard and heartbreaking in the same way it can be really hard and heartbreaking to be stuck in a fully monogamous relationship as a poly person.

Its kinda sexist? Often, it arises from the belief that penis-in-vagina is Real Sex and anything the woman does with another woman can be therefore written off. Inversely, sex with another man might "taint her" in his mind more than another woman for the same reason. Here there's an intersection with the insecurities in that a lot of men seem to think their "dick game" is the most important thing to their partners (when most studies show things like foreplay are usually more important), so our example man fears the direct comparison of penis size 🍆 and other masculinity things that could never possibly come up with women (incorrect, but more on that later).

Or, the straight man here could be fetishistic about lesbians and thinks its hot his lady is fucking other women🥵, so that's why its fine.

There are particulars that are ambiguous, and these can often cause problems if encountered. How do trans people factor into this? What if our woman gets with a woman who prefers sex with a big strap? Is that fine cause its still a woman, or will the man still feel betrayed because its "basically a penis"? Does this not call into question the validity of the whole rule to begin with? These things are rarely considered ahead of time.

In short, they often are formed for shitty reasons and put an undue burden on the woman. The consent of it feels less than authentic on both sides -- if he were really okay with it, why would he restrict her and if she only wanted to date other women it wouldn't be a "rule" she had to maintain.

Why then, do I not denounce all OPPs?

Let's consider some examples of pure intentions that could result in an OPP. Or at least, not-fucked intentions like above.

I think its really natural to want to have something special between yourself and your partner. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting there to be something only you can provide your partner. Its very common to have certain activities, acts, terms of endearment, etc. reserved for a particular partner in non-monogamous relationships! Why should "PiV sex" be treated with such hostility, but "watching our favorite TV show" be seen as a reasonable thing to disallow your partner from doing with someone else?

The man is trying to be supportive and flexible. He genuinely feels he can offer anything she might need sexually/romantically with a man, because polyamory is new to him, and because she's still offering him everything he needs sexually/romantically. The simplest explanation is that its the immutable fact of his gender that's causing the dissatisfaction, and he's very sympathetic to that! In this example, he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Non-monogamy is a big thing to most people, and allowing it -- even with restrictions -- should be recognized as the monumental step it generally is.

With that in mind, maybe our man even recognizes this is a big insecurity of his, and wants to work on it. Maybe he plans to address these insecurities, but knows this will take time, and is allowing her as much as he can without it being too much for him. Should he not be allowed some space to adjust, to work on those things? Should we not admire him for trying to broker a compromise🤝 rather than shutting down the woman's desires?

The woman might be okay with it.👍 She may feel she primarily wants to date/fuck other women, so a OPP is a small concession to make for her partner's comfort and reassurance.

There's kink things. I know I said lesbian fetishization was a negative just a moment ago, but even with that there are ways to do it respectfully. I'm not going to kink shame. If our theoretical couple finds it hot for him to put restrictions on what she can do sexually even when he's away -- who am I to stop them? Or any other number of kinks could play a part here! "I'm your only Daddy, but I'll let you go on playdates with other little girls" is not my kink, but I think it should be allowed for the people that are into it. 🤷‍♀️Idk, I admit this is probably my least well explained paragraph but basically it being a kink thing may be a sort of shortcut which circumvents some of the earlier concerns about authentic consent -- maybe they're just freaks who like it like that.

So then. About that question of deconstructing them.

Careful examinations of motives and feelings of all parties is required to know whether any one OPP holds up. There needs to be a lot of work put into the conversation, preferably before the relationship is actually opened. Its going to be personal between those two people, and -- like literally fucking everything with polyamory -- its going to require a lot of introspection🤔 and good communication🗣️.

If you find yourself in a OPP you feel is too constraining, you're gonna have to make a lot of time to talk through it. Be prepared to explain in detail and several times why its problem to you, while reassuring your partner its not because you find him unsatisfactory in some way. Be committed to hearing him out and taking his concerns and insecurities seriously. I recommend making a point to let everyone air their grievances before working on problem solving any of them. As always, avoid blaming.

Then, here are some ideas I think could you could try to help ease some of the insecurities and issues a OPP protects:

Shift the special thing to something other than PiV sex. Make it something else meaningful to you both. It could be some other sex thing😏, it could be the restaurant you went to on your first date🍽️, it could be listening to certain songs🎼, it could be ballroom dancing💃, it could simply be a day of the week 📅you only focus on each other, it could be anything you both value, and it could even be several things!

It may feel more reasonable to allow your partner other guidelines instead of gender. This can fall into many of the same pitfalls of a OPP, but it can also be a good middle ground if negotiations are tough. Maybe she can only date/fuck people shorter than he is, or with a smaller dick, or who makes less money than he does. Maybe she can see other men as long as they don't fuck in the bed he shares with her. Maybe any number of other things would help reassure him while being less burdensome on her.

Offer a lot of reassurance🤗. This is hard and scary! If he is willing to work with you, you better be working with him, too! Tell him you missed him and shit. Tell him how valuable he is to you because he allows you this freedom. Help him see things from a better framework when he's struggling. Do all this even when he doesn't ask for it.

It may help to give him something in return.🎁 Like, don't get me wrong, a very transactional relationship is rarely the most satisfying one. But a simple "I recognize how much work this will be for you, and to show you I also willing to put in work for your sake, I'm willing to try [something important to him]" isn't unreasonable. I think its easy and kinda fair for him to grow resentful if he's asked to accept everything she wants without her giving him anything he values.

If he's trying but still genuinely struggling, put a specific time-delay on when things will take effect. This allows him to prepare for it mentally (without it being something that will maybe happen some day, and thus not soemthing he needs to worry about right now). It gives him time to mull things over, so he can come to her with any concerns before they're already in the thick of it. The length of time will vary based on the situation, but I think something measured in weeks would probably be fair.

Seriously consider anything else he asks for that would make it easier for him.

Best of luck out there! Go live your best, most free lives babes!!

[sweetbunpura]

TWST X PKMN: Heartslabyul

Pokemon have appeared at NRC due to a potion mishap, no one knows how long they'll be here, but for the moment, they haven't been causing any problems...

Riddle: Somehow a trio of pokemon have flocked to him. Roserade, Meganium, and Polteageist.

Roserade is a given, Riddle needs a elegant and dangerous mon by his side. Meganium is here because of its dex entry: The fragrance of Meganium's flower soothes and calms emotions. In battle, this Pokémon gives off more of its becalming scent to blunt the foe's fighting spirit. Riddle has very short temper and Meganium gives up a soothing scent, meaning Riddle would always be relaxed around it (until he gets into a fight that is). Polteageist mainly because it's based on a teapot, but also because of it's dex entry: Trainers Polteageist trusts will be allowed to experience its distinctive flavor and aroma firsthand by sampling just a tiny bit of its tea.

Trey: He wakes up to see a pair of pokemon helping him out with his morning tasks. Slurpuff and Alcremie (Clover variant)

Slurpuff for the dorm's resistant baker, it's said to help pastry chefs when they work. Alcremie makes too much sense for Trey. There's not much to say for the chooses. (too bad there's not teeth brushing pokemon)

Cater: He finds them trailing after him once he leaves the first class of the day. He takes a lot of pictures of them. Shiny Ditto and a Capsakid.

Ditto can transform into anything and in the case of that, is a mon with many faces and changing masks, which is perfect for Cater. Capsakid is based on a pepper and when it sheds it's front teeth, it's edible and they're spicy. Cater loves spicy food.

Deuce: He finds a set of mons trying to wake him up because he slept through his alarm, he doesn't really notice them until class starts. Pawmot and Growlithe.

Growlithe is a very loyal dog pokemon who will protect people and stand fearlessly against stronger foes. It fits Deuce to a T because he can see himself in the little guy. Our card solider gets a pikachu clone (one of the best ones in my opinion cause it actually evolves), Pawmot fits in with Deuce, the little guy can be slow until he's put into a battle.

Ace: He has no idea what's going on and why he's staring at...himself? And why is something pulling at his hair?! Zorua and Misdreavus.

Zorua likes to play tricks on people, namely by transforming into various objects or often into the very person they are tricking. Ace tends to play tricks on people, so a mischievous little fox makes sense for him. The reason Misdreavus hangs around Ace is right in its name and partly for it's dex entry: It loves to bite and yank people's hair from behind without warning, just to see their shocked reactions.

[lizardkingeliot]

Just gonna pop this full quote from Rolin here for anyone who might need to see it today:

"When I read the novel, it was very clear that this was a romance, and we wanted to tackle it in a big way: overflowing passion, big fights and big reconciliations. A relationship like that may not be the best thing for you in life, but sometimes you just can't control yourself, and that's what happens to Louis and Lestat." Will the show respect the structure of the books, in which Louis disappears and Lestat comes to the fore? "We want to focus on the relationship between the two" replies the showrunner. "That does not mean that they will be together in every scene of every chapter, but when the second season arrives you will have a clearer idea of what will happen to Louis, and even more so in the third, when we adapt The Vampire Lestat. We will keep the spirit of the novels and their emotional arcs, but their plots are built in a very different way than what a TV series asks for. Besides, who would want to get rid of an actor like Jacob Anderson?"

(source)

I understand being worried reading a quote from the showrunner in which he implies Louis and Lestat might not really reconcile for 8 more seasons, but the entire show thus far has focused on Louis and Lestat. They restructured so many things in season 2 to be about Louis and Lestat. The entire trial was about their love! The tower scene ended up being Lestat getting metaphorically broken by losing Louis instead. Dreamstat! Even the Armand and Louis relationship ended up being about Louis and Lestat in the end. Jacob and Sam are co-leads. They will continue to be co-leads. Their chemistry is legendary. The show has never given us any reason to believe they're suddenly going to squander that.

Rolin has said he specifically went in the AMC offices asking to write a love story. Obviously none of us can see into the future and predict how the story is going to unfold, but I'm personally choosing to trust where they're headed with it. This team is so good and they have not let us down thus far in my opinion. Sam has implied they have the whole arc plotted out, and I can't see any reason why they would suddenly change their minds. It might end up taking a different shape than we imagine. We might not get everything we want. Louis and Lestat are always going to have a chaotic and insane dynamic as long as the show is airing. But that insane, chaotic dynamic is the heart of the show. That's what makes it so compelling!

And also, just as a side note, please remember Louis and Lestat do reunite as lovers near the end of TVL. Louis is there for the rockstar era. He and Lestat smooch backstage! Why on earth would the show choose to not give us that turned up to eleven like they do with everything else?

Now let's all just take some nice deep breaths and enjoy our hiatus yeah? Season 3 is happening! We have so much to look forward to! 💖

[wered0gs]

I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!

I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.

I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^

RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.

The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.

it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.

(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)

RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.

Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.

I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.

Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.

Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.

Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.

Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)

Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.

I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.

With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.

OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! Character showcased here was my beloved fursona Shiki! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]

hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3

[bloggingboutburgers]

Starting off with, i love your comics, artstyle, and aro/ace and qpr rep! And i also wanted to thank you for your comics about being in a long distance relationship. I too am an European whose partners are off in another continent, and often have to hide or defend our relationship even just to be seen as an actual one, much less an out-of-amatonormativity one, so seeing that we are not alone, and the cute sides of something that 90% of the time is quite hard, is very comforting to me. Thank you for it and good luck with your book and life!

P. S.: the thing that will always stick to me is the little ‘wheee’ when passing by sidewalk poles. 100% doing it whenever there’s the chance

Honestly, receiving this makes ME feel less alone as well!! What you said about having to hide or defend a relationship due to it being long-distance touched me in a way I didn't expect. I took forever to tell most people who live in my country/continent about my partner for so many reasons. Because it was a queerplatonic relationship and I feared people wouldn't understand. Because I'd spent so long trying to make everyone understand I didn't need a romantic partner to be happy and I was afraid people would just amalgamate the notion of a queerplatonic relationship with me being "fixed". Because we're both afab and with some people I had fears of possible homophobia (which, thankfully, never happened, except with one person I think). And... Yeah, now that you mention it, the fact that they're so far away and I couldn't introduce it to them physically if they asked, unless they happened to be visiting.

I think having met online and relying on online means to have to communicate plays a lot into that, too. Even though for a while in 2020 and subsequent years, in my country and many others, it was kind of illegal to communicate with anyone but your immediate family any other way THAN online or by phone, because reasons, people still see online communication as automatically lesser and one that should be given less importance (which drives me nuts personally, because it wasn't until I could go online that I started making real friends, what with being bullied by a lot of middleschoolmates and whatnot). There was a time where my partner and I had to fight to even be given time and respect of said time when we were busy calling each other. There's a lot of obvious hardships and a lot of unspoken ones that I guess one only sees if one is in that situation. So... Thank you, soo, for making me feel less alone.

I sincerely wish you the best as well, and good luck to you guys too!

[clatterbane]

Yet another episode in AuDHD Chaotic Dumbass mode, y'all:

* Reminded yet again that, while they were "just" ridiculously fashionable when I was in elementary school? Legwarmers would address several of my problems now!

Looking all smug with those warm legs. And good for her.

* (Naturally get off on a brief tangent of looking for period pics of kids in legwarmers. With a side trip into Rainbow Brite territory specifically, because I remember those. Nope out of there after seeing some of the Sexy Rainbow Brite-themed tat people have come up with more recently.)

* Yes, I am old as fuck.

* Anyway, my one remaining lower leg has been staying cold as hell except in summer since the big crash in 2020. The circulation is obviously pretty fucked, for whatever reason. I got sent for some torture test over it just earlier this year. My sensory issues won't let me wear leggings or long johns to layer on any kind of regular basis. It's just too bulky, and gets too hot and sweaty higher up when the lower legs are what's freezing.

* So snuggy insulation specifically for the lower leg good, right? I don't recall any particular problems wearing those unless they kept sliding down too much.

* Oh yeah, I did stock up on not-cheap washable wool yarn to make some, didn't I? Around the time we moved into this place? 🤨 There should be a bag full of it. In fact, I had to replace most of my crochet shit after we moved.

* Look for patterns.

* Oh wait, didn't I actually buy one in a really cute cat theme then?

* Where the fuck is that PDF? On my old phone, maybe? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Should have it backed up to a hard drive, so at least that search won't require messing with the infuriatingly busted screen.something

* Now, where the fuck did I even stash that sack of yarn AND new crochet hooks, etc.? I know I put it somewhere "safe" and out of the way...

* I DO know where one big skein of black wool blend worsted weight is. And I think I may know where in a still-not-unpacked moving box in our damn living room the previous set of hooks might be. Pretty sure I saw them when I was rummaging for something else...last year?!

* We have, indeed, been living in this place for almost 3 years now.

* Which also means I should probably check exactly when La Migra has me down as eligible for citizenship. It is supposed to be 3 years for spouses of citizens, but they're not counting from the date I entered the country...

* Oh fuck, my currently expired passport. Really need to do something about that, though it may take a road trip to Stockholm at this point. At least we do have the car now.

* Ah, I still haven't taken my stupid "morning" meds, have I? (For nocturnal person values of morning.)

* Probably time to look for more yarn! In another language, with less familiar terminology!

(And this is, in fact, a slightly pared-down version. Because I exhaust myself enough, and nobody else needs that.)

[youremyheaven]

I'm lunar and I actually lowkey agree about us getting depleted listening to peoples' stuff. I am a very good listener however and known to give good advice, I think I just 'feel' everything a lot, like Moon is very reactive so if you tell a lunar person your emotional story, instead of being like a grounded rock it'll go on the emotional rollercoaster with you lmao. Sometimes that's needed, sometimes not so much. Plus I think a more selfish lunar person would be reacting emotionally and making it about them which would be.. yicky lol

I actually have found Saturn women are veryy good at listening/giving advice too, though they probably need like Jupiter or Moon influence to give then that quality of caring much for other people in the first place. I mean Saturn is very 'keep your head down and mind your own business' but that's exactly what can make them such good listeners, they ain't getting caught up in your emotions when you come to them, they just look at you unamused and give you some reassuring grounded advice.

It's like how, I have a friend who says that yes, Moon is the mother and in it's most positive manifestation definitely has strong maternal/nurturing qualities, but possibly the more 'ideal' mother energy is Saturn (hence why we have Pushya as the nurturer) because of the way what children truly need is stability & non-reactivity. Not coldness perse but like, if a kid is bouncing off the walls and getting sugar highs it would be wild if their lunar ass mother started doing the same lol, Saturn can kinda sit and have the sternness to go 'sit down.' in a gentle way.

I guess lunar & Saturn Nakshatras are opposite too; so they're two sides of the same coin when it comes to nurture/mothering/listening 🧐

(sorry I be writing long ass things here, your blog is like a safe space for our astrological thoughtss/reservations and I appreciate it!!❣️)

Omg damn bbg you should write ✍🏻 (if you already post to your blog,lmk so I can follow👀😏) ,

This is such a great way of understanding Lunar vs Saturnian energies

Yeah 🙃😬 I used to have an imbalanced Lunar girl in my life and I couldn't tell her anything without her making it about herself 🥲😭 it was almost competitive??? (she did have Mars atmakaraka so maybe it's also bc of that lol). Like I could tell her I was SA-d and she'd be like 😎 I know 5 girls who were also SA-d 😎like BABE where's the empathy??? where's the listening, understanding and comforting??? ALSO WHY IS THIS A COMPETITION 😭😭😭🥲

I think Saturn influence can be very stabilising like you said but it's very unemotional and not very comforting. You can depend on them and they've got your back and there are definitely times when you need the other person to be very non reactive and just give you some adult rational talk. But if you want someone to give you a hug and just be there for you (without rushing to the advice bit) then Saturnians are not the way to go 😬

Imbalanced Saturnians can be very harsh as well. Saturn is the disciplinarian for a reason. The kind of parent who tells you to just suck it up and deal with it. Tough love without any regard for the other person's feelings or understanding of where they're coming from 😬

It's okayyy!!! I don't mind the long asks 😌 I like reading y'all's thoughts and observations. I appreciate you too bbg 🥺

[lisxdumbr]

Hi I'm insane and I think I talked about this once in the past but today I'm going insane once again

The relationship of 2wink with math

Now, for this explanation I'll take notes from 3-4 main things. I'm sure there are many more references but this is what I could quickly grab from the top of my head.

Yes, 2wink is constantly being related to math, starting with their unit name, it's the only unit that has a number in it, even looking at their brand, we see constant triangle shapes that help support this idea.

Now, I believe the reason is clear looking at it in a geometrical (?) way. even in a trigonometrical way if you want to get fancy. 2wink's concept revolves around the fact that they're twins, they're two people who mirror each other. They're symmetrical.

The first clue that we get comes from a very old song actually. Heart Prism Symmetry, just look at the lyrics for a second

It's a song that clearly talks about them mirroring each other, since as we know, an important part of their lore has to do with how they're so identical not even their father can distinguish them.

Speaking of, we hear Hinata's demons in a part of the song (cough, go read setsubun)

Now, is their symmetry something natural? How is it represented, what is this telling us? I think Heart Prism Symmetry is a song in which they're loving and honoring their pasts being a two in one package for such a long time. This doesn't mean they're trying to be symmetrical on purpose though, they know already that the symmetry will break one day.

(again I'm sure these are Hina's demons, someone give him a hug)

Now this also has to do with the triangle part that I mentioned before, there are many different symmetrical shapes but the fact that they chose triangles is fascinating to me. Triangles are the most basic shape, since you need at least 3 sides to create a shape (less than that is just a line). But triangles are so interesting because of that flex (?), they present themselves in many ways and even inside other shapes. You can fit a triangle in any shape, even a circle can fit triangles since at the end of the day, a circle is just a 360° rotation.

They chose the most powerful shape and I'm obsessed with that concept.

But now, In which other ways is math involved? This is where I enter !! era, which is the point of the story in which 2wink are trying to discover more about themselves and we reach Twin Peaks.

Twin Peaks is Hinata's first focus event and it's full of math, starting from the title of the chapters

Factorization and division by zero.

Now, if you actually want to relate those concepts to Hinata as a person, it gets a little bit depressing because, well, division by zero,,, no matter how big your numbers are, (CORRECTION) you'll end up in an undefined result.

But this has symbolism once again ! I don't remember the story exactly but there's a story where Yuta is referring as them as math concepts and he refers to Hinata as a symbol. Now the thing is both Hinata and Yuta have opposite beliefs of themselves, so both of them say the other is a positive or a negative while they're a negative or a positive.

I've always thought about how Yuta may feel that Hinata is stealing a bit from him and perhaps that's why he thinks Hinata substracts, but at the same time, Hinata has done so much for both of them so of course he adds too.

Now since this can be a little confusing, let's stick with the factorization and division by zero concept, since that's how Hinata perceives himself I believe? I think factorization is a clear concept for how Hinata kinda gatekeeps himself and his brother and. everything. in general? And oh well, we know the guy is depressed as hell.

Now this makes me move to the important part of the story which is the second event. Yes. What we all waited for and screamed our lungs out when we saw: Yuta growing his hair and separating himself from Hinata.

If an equilateral triangle is symmetrical, what happens when one side is larger that the other? Is it equilateral still? No. But is it still a triangle? Yes

In the swee2wink album, we got a song called Polyphonic World in the B side, and the lyrics are fascinating let me tell you

1 + 2 = 3, which can be a triangle or as they say, a volume too (³), so the world is created with 3.

But I want to point out this part because I find it EXTREMELY important for the lore:

"our hearts want to create new shapes" "make new shapes that will change our hearts". HELLO. They used to be symmetrical prisms but as soon as Yuta changed his appearance, they decide to create a new shape that looks more similar to their hearts. They are the shapes. 2wink refer to themselves as shapes, they are the triangle

This is where the third side starts making sense too. 2 + 1 = Yuta and Hinata + a third member, "you" (me, they're talking about me, cough)

So knowing this makes much more sense in the way they refer to themselves and helps us understand them better.

Now my point, the new song is called Love×me⇄monsteR and according to my investigation, the ⇄ symbol is used for a lot of things but one of the meanings is exchange. Let's remember that an important part of the lore has to do with them being feared and seen as monsters, so Yuta is swapping that idea. He's swapping the negativity of the monster concept for love.

We're returning to what Twin Peaks tried to tell us. Hinata is (was, remember, development) seen as a division by zero and now Yuta is a multiplication of love times himself, he's GROWING. damn I love acceptance arcs.

Anyway, I wholeheartedly believe they're becoming something more positive given that the new logo is literally 2×2. Happiness for them.

Now as a little note to close the speech, Polyphonic World also talks about colors:

"we can make a new color that will change our hearts" and remember, they're changing their signature colors in this event as a new beginning!

So that's everything! I hope you find this interesting ! It's a little thing that I've been noticing for the longest time and I thought today was the perfect day to get it out.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x05 - Lightning! Kabuterimon! / Kabuterimon's Electro Shocker

Previously on Digimon: We found drinking water, ate birdseed, and poured gasoline on a fire until it caused an integer overflow error and rolled over into zero. Also discovered that the true birdseed was the friends we made along the way. It was a good day.

But now it's time to leave the Pyocomon behind and get back on the road to... whatever might help us go home. File Island is no fun.

We join our cast at the end of a long hike. The younger kids are too exhausted to keep going, so we need to stop and take a break. We don't see Koushiro in this shot at all but he's resting with Mimi and Takeru in the next so we can probably assume which side he's on.

The dub adds context that we're going in circles, which is why everyone's so tired. In the original, they've just been walking for a long time.

Koushiro takes this as an opportunity to once again get his laptop up and running, but no dice. None of his electronics work on File Island. Taichi tries to help, but has a particular approach to IT... and about as much respect for other people's things as Haruhi Suzumiya.

Naturally, this gets him yelled at not only by Koushiro, but Sora also joins in to chew him out.

(Not okay, Taichi. What if you broke something? Where are we supposed to get replacement parts out here, the internet!?

...don't answer that.)

Suddenly, Taichi notices smoke on the horizon. Explaining nothing beyond the words "What's that?" Taichi suddenly runs off. The others shrug it off and decide he went to the bathroom or something.

Dub Tai is much more explicit in his communication. He explains that he sees smoke and is going to investigate. They still blow him off, with Joe claiming he has "the attention span of a gnat".

Unexpectedly, Koushiro's computer turns on. This is unexpected for two reasons; First, because there's no clear indication of why it suddenly works now. Second, as Koushiro quickly discovers, the battery is completely drained. There's no power to turn it on, and yet it runs.

The meaning of the blinking dead battery symbol is changed in the dub. The original plays this as eerie; The laptop has no battery so how is it running? The dub plays this as disappointing; The laptop has low battery so Izzy won't be able to use it. This sets Izzy on a quest to power on his laptop.

Before he has time to think about that, Taichi finds what he's looking for and calls them over.

Those smoke pillars meant exactly what he thought they did: A sprawling factory is laid out before them. Naturally, the kids descend into the factory to explore.

They find no people, but an assembly line of machines constructing... something. Jou, however, insists there must be people here somewhere; A factory like this can't be completely unmanned so we need to keep looking.

Like usual, Jou's determination to find other humans on File Island doesn't make it into the dub. Instead, Joe wants to find a cafeteria in the factory to get food from.

The kids split up; Taichi, Sora, and Jou head off one way while Yamato stays with Takeru, Koushiro, and Mimi and go another. As Taichi's group searches for human presence, they suddenly hear something.

They aren't sure where it's coming from but somebody's here. They can hear some kind of mechanical whirr and some sort of deep, echoing vocal noise. Taichi wonders aloud if that might be a person!

The dub flubs this just a bit; To fill dialogue space used for Jou insisting there must be people here, Biyomon instead calls out to the others, "Don't go any further in this direction!" That indicates that she knows the presence is over that way, making it odd when they all start looking around for it - and Biyomon specifically checks back the way they came.

We also don't hear the echoing voice in the dub; Instead, we hear metal clattering against metal. Tai announces with alarm, "Doesn't sound good!" Once again the dub team are quicker on the uptake and recognize the peril they're in, while the original kids are still holding out hope.

Meanwhile, Yamato's group finds the power supply room and discovers what's running this factory.

It's a super-sized battery plugged into the factory as if it were a TV remote or video game controller.

(It would be hell to change those out. Can you even imagine?)

While Koushiro's surprised to see that the factory runs on this weird system, Dub Izzy is more interested in using it for himself. He wonders aloud if there's a way he can hook it up to his laptop.

Still investigating, Tai's group comes upon this 'mon caught up in the gears of the factory. Gomamon ID's him as Andromon, and informs the others that he's highly evolved. Taichi asks if he's more evolved than Greymon, to which Gomamon answers yes, without a doubt.

(He's right, too. Andromon is a Perfect-stage Digimon, the stage beyond Adult. The kids aren't anywhere near that yet.)

Jou's disappointed that Andromon isn't human, but the kids still agree to help him anyway.

The dub cuts the discussion around Andromon being evolved beyond Adult-stage, though Agumon does say he's "very much advanced" which is open to interpretation. The rest of the conversation is spent agreeing that they should pull Andromon out of the gears.

They also, of course, cut Jou's disappointment about this being another Digimon; Joe complains, "My mom really doesn't want me moving any heavy objects; I've got bad knees," so Sora volunteers herself and Tai to do it without him.

Brief cut to Koushiro, who tells Yamato, Mimi, and Takeru to go on without him; He wants to stay here and investigate the battery further.

Meanwhile, Dub Izzy is still thinking about plugging his computer into the battery; He explains that if he can get it up and running, they can use his computer to call for help.

Meanwhile, Taichi's group begins pulling Andromon out.

(What happened to those bad knees, Dub Joe?)

Taichi loses his grip and falls back against that lever behind him, activating the machines he's stuck in. Unbeknownst to anyone, the machines insert one of those Black Gears from last episode into Andromon's fleshy cyborg leg, just before he comes loose.

Taichi attempts to apply some percussive maintenance, like he did for Koushiro's laptop, but Jou and Sora grab and restrain him. Taking cues from Taichi, Agumon smacks Andromon's head to bring him online.

It does not go well.

The narrator cuts in here to formally introduce Andromon. He's a Perfect-stage Data-type Cyborg Digimon, said to be the strongest among Digimon.

(I assume "on File Island" is a qualifier there because there are absolutely Digimon way more powerful than Andromon.)

Piyomon hits Andromon with Magical Fire to make him release Sora. He shrugs off her attack, then he lobs Sora into Taichi and Agumon, who catch her.

Taichi notices a bunch of metal beams being stored on the ceiling for some reason and has Agumon cut them down with a Baby Flame.

(I want to feel bad for him but he brought this OSHA violation on himself. If he stored his beams properly, this wouldn't have happened to him. Slacking off on safety protocols is how you end up caught in gears.)

Taichi's group takes this opportunity to run for it.

Back with Yamato's group, they've left Koushiro to investigate the power supply room and gone on without him, as requested. Mimi offers some wild speculation as to what the devices being assembled actually do.

Dub Mimi's similarly confused, but offers no speculation. Instead, she complains that there should be a tour guide to explain this stuff. "Ooh, maybe in a plaid outfit with a bullhorn!"

Meanwhile, Koushiro continues investigating the battery. He finds something most unexpected: A door? Why would a battery have a door? Dub Izzy is less confused by this, assertively calling it an "access panel to the interior operations!"

Opening it up, he enters and... it's wild.

Koushiro identifies the writing on these walls as computer code. He doesn't offer any particular programming language, just that it is one he recognizes. He runs his hand along one of the symbols, wiping away part of a letter as if it were fresh paint.

Instantly, the machines throughout the factory shut down in response to Koushiro disrupting their code.

Unfortunately, Taichi's group is still fleeing from Andromon when the lights suddenly go out. Taichi speculates that Andromon might not be able to find them in the dark if they creep away quietly. He's wrong; Andromon finds them immediately and we see from his perspective that he can see fine.

Andromon's signature move, Spiral Sword, spins his hand so fast it turns into a drill before slashing suddenly and creating a blade of pressured air. The dub calls this Lightning Blade.

While the kids narrowly avoid being cut apart by Andromon's Spiral Sword, we cut back to Koushiro and Tentomon. Koushiro laments that he broke the wrong part of the code. At Tentomon's suggestion, he takes out a sharpie and repairs the code, bringing the power back online.

As the machines come back online, Dub Mimi speculates that the factory didn't pay its power bill. XD Valid theory from her perspective.

Koushiro lays out for Tentomon why this is so bothersome. This is not how batteries work. The programming inside the battery is itself what's supplying power to the factory. Koushiro breaks out his laptop to further analyze the program.

(It's like a Sim City power plant. It looks like a power plant. It satisfies the electricity needs of the other programmed structures you lay down. But it's not a real power plant. It's just coded to look like one and to satisfy the coded electricity needs of the coded world. Koushiro and Tentomon are inside the code of this "battery" right now and seeing the true nature of its artifice.)

Meanwhile, dub Izzy is looking for a way out of the factory. "If I can decode this particular program, then I can trace its base functions and figure a way out of here!" This is peculiar because they aren't trapped here to begin with, but it's the beginning of what will be a plot point throughout this episode.

We cut briefly back to Taichi's group still dodging Spiral Swords from Andromon, and then return to Koushiro. Tentomon asks him about how happy he looks doing this; He's more motivated than he's been since Tentomon met him, in fact. Koushiro confirms that he's having a blast.

Tentomon doesn't get it. He asks what Koushiro gets out of this, and Koushiro explains that he gets knowledge. He wants to understand the secrets of this place and what the Digimon are. Tentomon isn't swayed by that; He doesn't really care about who or what he is, and he turns it around on Koushiro: Is he trying to solve the mystery of who he is?

Tentomon doesn't realize it, but that question triggers Koushiro. He flashes back on something he doesn't want to remember.

Though it's not explicitly stated, the subtext of this conversation he overhears from his parents is fairly obvious. Koushiro is adopted, and his parents haven't found the courage to break it to him yet. His parents agree to put it off a little longer; It'd be too much of a shock for him now. They don't know that they've already revealed it. And it is.

Dub Tentomon captures the spirit of the conversation, but with a lot more passive-aggression. He peppers Izzy in sassy backhanded remarks like "I admire the way you keep working while your friends are out having fun!" and "So you would rather spend your time with puzzles than with people?"

He also suggests that they're "trapped in a small room with no exit". I don't know where he got that idea from; There's a door. They came through the door. We occasionally see the door and it's still open like they left it. We're in here by choice 'cause Koushiro/Izzy wants to learn. But aside from that one line, this all works really well. Even the adoption conversation is adapted perfectly.

Back in the present, Tentomon snaps Koushiro out of his disassociation to let him know that some weird shit is happening to his computer screen.

The lines of code he'd been analyzed begin freely floating around the screen, and the light on his Digivice begins to blink.

Here, Dub Tentomon goes off-script to start ranting at Izzy that he's being irresponsible, playing around on his computer while his friends are in danger. This is not a thing they know, but Tentomon insists he can "feel it in [my] bones".

While Koushiro is learning, Mimi lets out an angry shriek from another part of the factory as she finally discovers what the place does with those machines it's assembling.

It sends them to conveyor belt which disassembles them for parts. Nobody offers any commentary beyond Mimi's angry shriek but honestly that's valid commentary in and of itself.

(The assembly and disassembly lines are my favorite part of this episode. It was not meant to be but it's such a scathing metaphor for the military-industrial complex when you think about it. We give hundreds of billions of dollars to defense contractors each year to do exactly this, and that makes me want to angry shriek when I think about it too.)

Back inside the battery's source code, the data moving around on Koushiro's screen begins to form into what appears to be a map of File Island. Dub Izzy's so excited, he officially abandons his alien theory.

However, before it can fully process, Tentomon begins overheating, crying out in pain. Koushiro checks his Digivice and sees that the little bar that rises and falls on it is filled to capacity and blinking.

He's forced to shut down the laptop for the sake of Tentomon's wellbeing. Once the laptop turns off, Tentomon stops glowing and burning, and his Digivice's meter returns to empty.

Meanwhile, Taichi's group escapes Andromon once again after Taichi makes an unbelievably brave leap from a scaffolding suspended dozens of feet in the air to a crane, and hooks Andromon with it.

Of note, Dub Andromon keeps demanding vengeance, presumably for Agumon banging on his head. This is not in the original, where he's a mostly-silent stalker except when he's firing his Spiral Sword or analyzing the kids. His Gear-corrupted systems label them intruders when we see things from his perspective, so he's trying to kill them based on that.

Dubs back in the day would often add dialogue just to fill space, on the assumption that kids would get bored if they go too long without hearing spoken words. So instead of a silent Terminator type marching through halls, we get cries of "ANDROMON WILL HAVE HIS VENGEANCE" whenever the camera's not on his face so you don't notice his lips aren't moving.

Up on the roof, Yamato, Mimi, and Takeru discuss what they've learned. Yamato lays it all out: The factory is a perpetual machine, disassembling the thing whatever it is for parts it can use to assemble the thing which it then disassembles for parts. Nothing is actually produced. This entire complex exists to make nothing.

The dub kids get the gist of this, though Matt's less confident than Yamato in his assessment. They also again suggest that they're trapped here which... is based on nothing? T.K. nervously says, "I hope there's a door," but Matt firmly states that there's no door because nothing ever leaves this place.

(Matt. My guy. There's a door. It's the one you came in through. We are not trapped in the factory; We're voluntarily poking around at stuff to learn what's what. Nobody is in any peril that they know of except Taichi's group.)

While Koushiro rejoins Yamato's group, we get a brief cut of Andromon cutting himself loose with a Spiral Sword air blade, curved around to hit the crane wire holding him.

Koushiro explains his findings: The factory is powered by a computer program; It's coded to have energy so it does. Extrapolating outwards, this means we presently exist in a world where data and programs become real, tangible things.

In the dub, we've already been calling this Digi-World since episode 1 so Izzy ratchets up the revelation: "In Digi-World, basic data and simple information are a living, viable substance; IT'S ALIVE!!!"

Before Koushiro can explain what he means, Taichi's group arrives and screams warnings to everyone. They're too late, though; Andromon erupts through the floor, turning on Yamato's group.

He wastes absolutely no time firing up his other signature attack to kill them with: Gatling Missiles. Yeah, Perfect-stage Digimon get two. That's not fair. This is Baby-stage Bubbles at Kuwagamon all over again.

As the group scatters, Yamato miserably fails his Big Brother check and leaves Takeru behind, frozen in terror. He realizes his mistake too late, but Gabumon evolves to Garurumon to shield Takeru from the blast. As he's evolving, the camera calls special attention to Koushiro noticing the data being output by Yamato's Digivice.

Garurumon swipes the Missiles away, destroying one of them. But the other recovers in the air and comes back for Taichi's group, revealing what exactly makes these Gatling Missiles.

With another shot of Koushiro noticing Taichi's Digivice glowing, Agumon evolves to Greymon to defend them from the gatling bullets. He smashes the missile with his tail. Their victory is short-lived, however, as Andromon proceeds to demonstrate the difference between Adult- and Perfect-stage Digimon.

This is not a winnable fight. They are all fucked beyond measure.

(Even if the whole team could evolve, this would still be a very hard fight. Remember that time the entire team of Child-stage Digimon tried to fight Kuwagamon and lost? Yeah. You really gotta party up if you want to take on a higher-stage Digimon.)

The kids watch in horror as Andromon easily takes Greymon and Garurumon apart. Yamato and Sora both chime in, acknowledging that they get what the whole "evolved at a stage beyond Greymon" thing from earlier means. He's so much stronger and faster than their guys; This fight is hopeless.

The dub didn't have that conversation earlier, so Sora has to offer this up as speculation. Dub Sora pegs his strength to being all-machine but adds, "It's almost like he's Digivolved far beyond the other Digimon!" Yeah. Almost like.

Out of desperation, Tentomon asks Koushiro to fire up that program he was looking at earlier. Koushiro acquiesces, firing it up and filling Tentomon with a surge of energy just like last time. But this time they let it go and don't resist it.

Tentomon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

Tentomon evolves into Kabuterimon, named for kabutomushi, the rhinoceros beetle. His arrival does little to change the tide of battle. Perfect-stage gonna Perfect, y'all.

Jou frantically wonders aloud if Andromon has any weaknesses, which gets Koushiro thinking. Scrutinizing Andromon carefully, he notices energy sparking out of his organic right leg and yells at Kabuterimon to focus fire on that.

The dub seems a little confused on this note; Izzy yells at Kabuterimon to "Cut his power! Demobilize his right leg and we'll interrupt his energy source!" which is making a lot of (wrong) assumptions about why we're shooting at his leg. Koushiro just says to shoot the leg and doesn't explain why.

Kabuterimon opens fire with his signature move, Mega Blaster. The dub calls this Electro Shocker.

Kabuterimon's shot hits home. It does jack shit to Andromon but it obliterates the Black Gear inside his leg, which forcibly emerges and flies into the air to explode like with Meramon. Instead of bursting into a cloud of smoke, however, we get to watch it disintegrate like a Final Fantasy monster.

With Andromon now liberated from the Black Gear, he unpacks what happened. He found the Gear stuck in the machinery of the factory and was trying to get it out when he got trapped like that. He doesn't actually know what it is or what happened any more than the kids do.

He's apologetic for what he did under its corruption and wishes he had more information for them, but he doesn't. He does, however, have a suggestion for how they should leave the factory, which may be where the dub got the idea that they're trapped here. He advises them to go through the sewers.

Dub Andromon skips the explanation and goes straight to apologizing. Though he still says he has little information for them and suggests using the "underground waterway" to "escape" from here. He also calls it a "labyrinth", which the original does not.

Andromon wishes them luck in returning to their world, which is now officially what we're calling it. Dub Tai promises to never forget Andromon. Then the kids make their way into the sewers.

As they're walking, Takeru strikes up conversation with Koushiro. He wants to know if the program Koushiro used to evolve Tentomon would work for Patamon as well. Dub T.K. has the same question but refers to evolving as "becoming a superhero".

Koushiro agrees to give it a try, but as he's typing, his laptop suddenly loses power. Taichi and Agumon both want to hit it, forcing Koushiro to comically protect his laptop from these two lunkheads.

As Taichi and Agumon comically hit each other, we close the episode on the group laughing at them. The narrator chimes in to foreshadow that Koushiro's laptop will be the key to solving the secrets of the world.

The dub's been having the characters narrate instead, but they don't even bother with this line. They just cut it outright. That's fair; It's kind of unnecessary.

Assessment: As a character-focus episode, this one works really well for Koushiro. The emphasis of the episode is on learning and information-gathering. We found something interesting so we start poking around to figure out what we can about File Island.

So far, each episode has focused on a particular trait of a character that's going to become important later down the road. For Koushiro, it's his intelligence and curiosity that not only drives his discoveries but fuels his Digimon's evolution.

This is a big episode for discovering the lore and understanding the mechanics of the Digital World, as befits a Koushiro episode. I particularly like the choice of a Perfect-stage Digimon for their adversary, forcing them into a situation where Koushiro has to solve the puzzle rather than defeat the bad guy.

The dub quality here is... serviceable. There's some lateral changes that just come across as different presentation choices, such as having Tai announce himself to the others more directly when he leaves the group. Also, some of the tension-relieving jokes they added got me, especially Mimi's "didn't pay the power bill" crack.

But there's definitely some changes I wouldn't have made. Cutting out the explanation that Andromon's evolved beyond the levels of Greymon and Garurumon confuses the matter of why they can't beat him. As a kid, I remember legitimately thinking that metal Digimon are just automatically the strongest because of this episode.

Also, they're still erasing Jou's character direction: To find humans so they can take us in and get us home. This leaves him with little to do but provide comic relief.

Nonetheless, the main character arc between Izzy and Tentomon mostly lands, even if they go a little too hard on Tentomon's disagreement with Izzy's way of life.

The dub version is a little lesser for the choices that they made, but not by too much, I think. It still hits most of the important beats and delivers the story it needed to tell, and that's what matters most.

[redux-iterum]

Writing question, not redux question! Do you or Lynx have any tips for planning such elaborate stories? Every detail of your world and writing has such thought put into it, so I’m curious how you organize or plan your works!

DULLARD: Well, what mainly helps this blog in particular is having two people working on this that specialize in different areas! My main job is to write the story, the characters and the more general lore, as well as answer asks. Lynx works in the specifics of the timeline, history, genealogy and keeping track of all the little details we come up with for future plots. I joke that I’m the blue collar to her white collar, if that makes sense - we have both sides of writing this setting covered. We also have an absurd amount of shared docs to keep track of everything and are in constant communication with each other, presenting ideas and discussing whether they’re worth keeping or not. We do write everything down, but I would be remiss not to note that Lynx’s excellent memory is the only reason half of this shit hasn’t been lost to the ether. 

If I had to give a specific tip, it would be to write EVERYTHING down - every plot point you think of, character note, idea (whether or not you use them), worldbuilding concept and anything else. You never know what you’ll forget, especially if you’re working alone! Having multiple documents organized by topic will help with that (one doc for mythology, another for culture, another for plot points, etc). Don’t do what I do, which is to name my documents and images extremely unhelpful names for the purposes of amusing yourself. You WILL lose track of which doc has what thing.

LYNX: I will be the first to admit that I'm far from the best person to give writing advice, considering I haven't published anything substantial and just have a lot of incomplete scribblings which may never see the light of day. Dullard and I also have wildly different ways of approaching our writing; they're more of a plotter/outline writer/architect and I'm more of a pantster/discovery writer/gardener. A lot of writing advice is geared towards architects while gardeners (at least in my experience as an aspirant writer) have their methods of writing left largely untouched, and so get the idea that writing as you go along is "bad writing" (ignore the entire body of works of Stephen King, Hayao Miyazaki, and Terry Pratchett, all written more or less on the fly). 

Yeah, so that's how I have barely written anything since I was a teenager :D 

I'm still relearning how to write myself; I just discovered I'm a gardener last year and I have years of ineffective writing advice to unlearn. I'll parrot some advice I've been told.

Keep documentation on-hand for easy referencing. I use the app Obsidian to make myself a personalized wiki for characters, worldbuilding elements, and suchlike. It's not built for having writing in it, but I can wrestle it into working for my needs!

It's okay to leave some elements ambiguous and open-ended. It means less work for you and more mystery and fun for your audience (even if that audience is yourself!)

If you're a gardener like I am, treat your long-form writing like each chapter is an episode of a TV show. You might have the season finale sketched out, so find ways to get your characters there and what complications arise in their path!

Your characters are tools. You may be attached to them, but they are here to serve a function in the narrative. If they are serving their function poorly, that's when they're a bad character.

The only wrong way of writing is one that stops you from writing.

[leviathan-supersystem]

@yourtoradorasextendedwarranty most of the dogshit in that interminable long argument wasn't even worth addressing but this part jumped out at me as especially moronic and blatantly dishonest.

first i'd like to clarify that i'm not trying to get involved in electoral politics, i'm not interested in trying to prove that republicans are fascist, and i'm certainly not trying to prove democrats aren't. the point i'm making here is simply "these arguments presented here are dogshit"

like, for one thing, the idea of "more state rights"="not fascist" is very dumb. if a state were, say, rounding up black people and putting them in camps, is it non-fascist for them to do that (since it's a state government doing it, not the federal government) and conversely is fascist for the federal government to prevent the state from doing that? if for whatever reason that hypothetical isn't striking a chord with you, maybe switch black people in the hypothetical for, idk, christians.

or to use a more down-to-earth real-world example, which side do you think most actual fascists side with when it comes to state rights regarding slavery? or integration? (and certainly the degree to which fascists and libertarians are in agreement when it comes to whether states/businesses should be compelled to integrate would call into question whether those two ideologies are really "opposites")

"state rights" on it's own has no real political alignment-the alignment of any given "state rights" issue hinges on the question "states right to what"? obviously fascists are all in favor of states having the right to suppress minorities, or impose excessive draconian laws.

which brings us to the subject of what i can only assume it what you were alluding to with this whole "states rights" thing- namely the overturning of roe v. wade- the "states rights" in question is the right for states to surveil women and to lock them in prison for the decisions they make regarding their own personal reproductive healthcare. such personal liberty!

and of course building off of this, trump and co. are not by any means consistently pro-states rights. see the federal abortion ban that has been floated by those in trump's camp- the pose of being "pro states right" was obviously just a tactical maneuver until he could get abortion banned federally.

now, of course none of this proves he's a fascist- being willing to impose draconian measures to control women's reproductive health is widespread among all sorts of right-wing ideologies- but it certainly doesn't prove he isn't one either.

(also regarding "sending taxes overseas"- do trump and his supporters want to stop sending those taxes to israel? no of course not, the parties are in perfect lockstep on that, just one of the many reasons both parties are ultimately worthless)

regarding the "stop putting naked kids in front of our kids" claim- it's hard to know what the fuck you're even talking about here. my closest best guess is that this is about "kids seeing drag"- and if that's the case this is some of the most disgusting misrepresentation of that issue i've ever seen. the whole culture war around kids and drag has centered around parents taking their own kids to all-ages drag shows- so those aren't your kids, and the people they're taking them to see aren't naked. and far from your narrative of the poor best-upon right-wingers just trying to raise their own children in peace, what has actually been happening is right wingers calling for parents who take their kids to see drag shows have their kids taken from them and be thrown in jail.

now, again, right-wingers wanting to take away the kids of progressives is not something i'd consider to be exclusive to fascism. all kinds of right-wing ideological groups support that (although the "taking your kids to see mrs doubtfire is child abuse" shtick is a new spin). you, on the other hand, did claim that wanting to take people's kids away is specifically fascist- so make of that what you will.