#which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

introspectivememories · 4 days

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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.

#there is a direct throughline from the boy we meet in robin 121 all the way to man tim reconnects with in urban legends 4 #like maybe you guys have other interpretations of it but to me this is *the* defining moment in his life #and that's not to say that he perpetually bound to this traumatic event but it impacted him sooo much that his life is now divided #before shooting and after shooting #like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him #it happened bc he was in such a bad place from watching his friend die and then on top of that he loses contact with tim!!!!#this is his canon event!!!!#if you took it away from him if you made it so that he never had to go through it #the bernard we would get would not be the same bernard we got in urb leg4 and tdr #does it not make you want to chew on drywall that to get to the bear we love he has watch his darla die first????#head in hands head in hands #and it wasnt like batman came immediately after darls died!!! iirc they had to wait a little before he came #which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!!#do you think he cried and held her hand until batman came??? do you think he begged her not to go??? or do you think he told her #stories and made promises of all the things they were gonna do after they got out??? do you think he put pressure on the wound and #watched as the blood soaked through the jacket they were using as a towel??? and when she finally passed do you think he bit his lip #clean through to stop himself from wailing? bc if he's too loud the gunmen will hear them and he cannot be the reason jay from #history dies #auuuugh i cant fucking do this anymore #bernard dowd #timbern #darla aquista #louis grieve trio

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