#which makes sense because when we first met i told her she looked like winona ryder in Beetlejuice so it all comes full circle

[franken-shits]

I had a concept for some beetlejuice designs and then it kind of got a bit fanficy a bit au. It's like if someone asked me to make a cartoon sequel series to the first movie but incorporate characters and vibes from the second movie. I'll explain more in detail . Also I'm aware my beetlejuice design is very inconsistent in the face I got a bit burnt out but I'd like to draw more of this

My au fanficy thing is set in the 90s, Lydia goes back to New York to pursue a degree in photography. But Beetlejuice keeps terrorizing her trying to get her to resurrect him and just being evil and a villain towards her. They're not friends in my series like in the cartoon. Beetlejuice is either trying to force Lydia to do what she doesn't want to do or kill her. At first Lydia is scared of him but as episodes go on she's more just annoyed and just wants to get on with her student life and her own projects. She's kind of like "this guy again 🙄🙄🙄"

I mainly wanted to do these to design cool outfits so I'm going to explain them in detail.

I wanted Lydias style to be quite vintage inspired, vintage for the 90s. A lot of the goth character designs I see don't feel super authentic to me PERSONALLY so I dressed her in clothes id really want to wear.

For beetlejuice I changed his design a lot because I wanted it to be different from his iconic original look. Because I don't see the point in redesigning if I'm only going to slightly tweak the original. I have him a sort of rockabilly vibe, I saw a lot of Beetlejuice stripes in that fashion. And I also have him a riff Raff/Brian eno-sque hair style, receding hair line but grown out long. He's looks super sleazy, which is very much what I'm going for. I also want him to have some what of a new York taxi driver vibe.

[devilsknotrp]

Congratulations, Jenn! You have been accepted for the role of Wendy Taylor (FC: Mary Louise Parker). Wow. What can we even say? You have brought Wendy a depth that we truly had not even envisaged. There were glimpses in her biography, but you have enhanced them and exampled how complex and nuanced she really is. The fact that she is a closeted lesbian makes a lot of sense, and I think exploring the notion of compulsive heterosexuality and her late relationship with Charlie will be a fantastic writing challenge - one we have no doubt you’ll pull off with aplomb. Your headcanons are extensive and beautifully written. This is a truly fantastic application. Thank you for writing her! Please have a look at this page prior to sending in your account.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: Jenn Age: 27 Pronouns: She/her Timezone: EST Activity estimation: I have a full-time job, but I can be around on weeknights and through the weekend! I can confidently approximate my activity at a few replies per week. Triggers: REDACTED

IN CHARACTER

Full name: Wendy Marie Taylor Age (DD/MM/YYY): Fifty years old (09 October 1946) – Libra sun, Cancer moon Gender: Cis female Pronouns: She/her Sexuality: Lesbian, though she will assert she is Straight Occupation: Regional Manager, Great Lakes Cup Company Connection to Victim: Linda Goode is one of the moms. Even if her own daughter has been grown for a decade plus, Wendy feels connected to the other mothers in Devil’s Knot because motherhood is so important to her. When Linda first moved into town, Wendy was drawn to her bright-eyed enthusiasm. They talk after church about their children, and Wendy gives some gentle advice when she can. They’re friendly, if not friends. Linda’s optimism in the face of a mother’s worst nightmare has only bolstered Wendy’s desire to know her better. She remembers what Sandy was like when Pete disappeared. Linda’s going to need all the help she can get. Alibi: Wendy spent the morning at home, going through her closets for things she could sell at her upcoming yard sale. One of the skirts she’d set aside – an old favorite – had a broken zipper, so she brought it to Aisha around 1pm to see if her sister-in-law could mend it. She got so wrapped up in playing with her nephew and talking to her family that she stayed for dinner, and didn’t come home until 7:30pm, at which point she ran a bath, read a few chapters of her book club book, and fell asleep. Faceclaim: I was approved for Mary Louise Parker! :) Other alternate faceclaim ideas (not proposed to y’all) are Winona Ryder and Marisa Tomei.

WRITING SAMPLE

The waiting really wasn’t so bad. At 11:15, the pie went in; by 11:30, the whole downstairs smelled like peaches and cinnamon, even all the way back in the laundry room where the dryer-sheet scent never left. This was what Heaven smelled like, to her. This was her Heaven, right here in Formica and linoleum. She closed her eyes to take it in. Sense is everything. That’s what Pastor Jeff had told her, last time they spoke one-on-one. She’d been struggling to stay grounded, with all the background noise starting up again: another missing boy, another swing to the slumbering hornets’ nest. She could feel the buzzing in her sleep, she said. Thank God for God. He made the world for us, Pastor Jeff told her, and we take it for granted. There are little blessings everywhere. All we have to do is open to receive.

Wendy pressed her shoulders against the back of the chair, imagining a coat hanger strung through her spine and then straightened just so. The birds were quietly tittering in the trees outside. The sky, she imagined, was blue. She wanted to believe that it was.

Her egg timer ticked. She could hear it better with her eyes closed. Sometimes she thought the insides of her eyelids looked like one of those abstract paintings that’re just colors and drips, chaos on a canvas. Like the blood splatter patterns. The photos Charlie pored over. You weren’t supposed to see that, he always said – but what did he know about supposed to? What did he know about her? He had heavy hands and a weak heart, and he–well, he–

Fuck him, she thought.

She opened her eyes. Some words taste sour on your tongue and some don’t taste like anything at all. By the refrigerator, Buddy flattened out on the floor, his head resting on his paws – Wendy hadn’t even noticed him come in. She reached for him with fingers caked in flour and dough. “C’mere, Bud,” she said, softly. “C’mon.” It took him a few seconds to stand; for those couple of breaths, she was sure he’d heard her curse. Then he was walking over, and exhaling, and nudging against her to make room for himself at her feet. “Hey, baby. How you doin’, huh?” She rubbed her hand through the fur at the top of his scalp. He didn’t react. “Oh, you’re mad at me now, ‘s that it?” Buddy was as much Charlie’s as he was hers or Jenny’s, but that’s what happens when you leave: you don’t get to claim ownership anymore.

Wendy let her breath come out her nose in one long stream. She used the heel of her palm to brush loose hair off her forehead; her hands were a mess. “Fine,” she said. She stood. She had Jenny’s number memorized by now, but she still grabbed her contact notebook and double-checked as she dialed. The answering machine picked it up. “Hey, honey, it’s Mom. I’m gonna be taking a pie over to the Goodes in an hour or so. I’d love some company.” She glanced at the hanging clock. 11:50. ”No pressure,” she added. “Just call me back before 1.” Wendy tightened her grip on the phone, readying herself to hang up – but her hand didn’t move. Her sigh went right into the mouthpiece, loud and clear. “And–maybe… if you haven’t yet, maybe call your dad, too. Just to–just to make sure he’s okay.” Okay. “Okay. I love you. Talk soon.” There were still 20 minutes left in the oven. They couldn’t pass quickly enough.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Here is my Pinterest board for Wendy! 

Wendy is a lesbian. Used to be. Wendy used to be a lesbian – and God, even the word is ugly, isn’t it? Lesbian, like the name of another species, something grey-skinned and hairless crawling out of a crater. She outgrew it when she grew up. There were thoughts, and dreams, and wishes and whims, and when she was younger there were girls her age who stopped her breathing just by touching her – but that was frivolity, that’s all. She can be so frivolous sometimes. If it weren’t for her Daddy’s looking out for her, she might’ve lit her life on fire years ago just ‘cause she liked to watch the sparks.

No one’s ever hurt her worse than Charlie Taylor did. Would you believe she really loved that son of a bitch? Being a housewife felt about as natural as waxing her leg hair off, but she did it for him – and, like waxing, it hurt less over time. Sweet, serious Charlie. He’d been impressive to her long before the Sheriff’s badge: just a kid at 20 when they’d first met, and even then there’d been something steady about him. Something safe. And as they got older, they got older together, and they got married together, and they had their daughter together. It didn’t matter who they were in the dark, because they were a family together, a whole of sums, a house united. That’s what kept Wendy from leaving, all those years ago, back when she could’ve left him. They had made something together. Even when things were bad, they were still warm like a burnt-up dinner, bitter but still hearty all the same. She couldn’t spit in the face of a home-cooked home. Guess Charlie wasn’t burdened with the same sense of sacrifice, though, ‘cause he gave it all up to be himself. As if she hadn’t bit her tongue for him. As if she hadn’t swallowed blood.

When she was younger, Wendy’s lifelong dream was to climb the tallest tree in Devil’s Knot. Up by the river, where Ely Street met North State and the water folded over the rocks underneath – right there, that one, the one that stretched bare and empty on top like it was just made for a Christmas tree angel to sit. It didn’t matter that there were taller trees by the Campgrounds; she claimed that one back in elementary school, pointing and shielding her face from the sun. She practiced on the trees in her front yard. Her legs still show the scars where sharp bark and misplaced foot-holds left their marks. Wendy’s mom used to patch her up quietly in the bathroom after she fell off, be it bike or branch, and now when she tries to remember her mother, she thinks of how they’d wince together when the iodine hit her skin. Her mother, watching Wendy’s face and sucking in her own breath through her teeth like she could feel it, too. Like it hurt her to hurt her, no matter how small the pain.

It was never her lifelong dream to work for Great Lakes Cups, that’s for sure – but she really does like it well enough. She’s the franchise’s first female regional manager in Michigan, if you’ll believe that. Her! Wendy Taylor! Sometimes, when she’s feeling particularly scatter-brained and stupid, she’ll remind herself to look at the little name-plate they put on the wall outside her door. If she can run a whole office of a consumer products manufacturing company, then she can do just about anything. And if there’s anything she can’t do – well, she’s got her Daddy to help guide her halfway to home. No one was happier for her than him when she got the promotion. Not even Charlie, who by then was already her ex on barely-speaking terms, divorce papers pending. Her Daddy has been her biggest supporter, coach, and strategist for longer than she cares to remember. She can see that now. No matter how many times she doubts him, it’s only the toughest love that gets people to change. She wouldn’t be who she is without his. 

Wendy always knew she wanted kids. Charlie wanted them too, and when they had Jenny, everything changed all at once. It was like another version of herself had been growing in her, too, right there in the womb next to her daughter. She gave birth to both of them. She saw it. She knows it’s crazy, but she saw it – and it wasn’t a hallucination, either. Pastor Jeff’s on her side. He says that the Creator has His ways of showing people what plans He has in store. After years of fighting and flailing and keeping God out of her heart, Wendy is finally ready to listen.

[janeykath318]

Opening

NOTE: This makes more sense If You’ve read Closure or Be My Valentine, but to sum it up, Jamie was married to Chris, lost him in Khan’s attack, and eventually formed a relationship with Bones, who’s been in love with her for quite a while. Paris was the perfect city for a girls weekend away, Jamie reflected as she sat in a cafe with her friends and bridesmaids sipping coffee and nibbling on a decadent pastry. Between the shopping, the sightseeing, and the eating, they’d certainly reveled in the delights of the city of Love. It was a great way to do a bachelorette party and she’d be thanking Nyota and Laura until the end of time. They knew she wasn’t the type to go full on debauchery before her wedding, instead choosing this laid back getaway that would actually make for good memories. (Not that they hadn’t gotten a little tipsy the previous night, but it was the goofy, giggly oversharing kind of kipsy, rather than pukingly plastered.) “This has been absolutely perfect, hasn’t it girls?” She asked her soon to be attendants for the wedding next weekend. 

“Truer Words were never spoken, Jame-Jame,” sighed Ally Pike, relishing her piece of plum tart. “I’d have to agree,” chimed in Laura McCoy-Roberts. “It’s been too long since I’ve been here and that was for business.” Carol and Nyota nodded their agreement, mouths being currently full with French sweets. “Can’t believe it’s only a week away,” Jamie mused, smiling to herself dreamily. “It feels like we’ve been planning it for eons.” She and Bones had been officially engaged for a year, a few weeks before they’d returned from the five year mission. It was really different, actually planning a wedding—the first time around, she and Chris had just decided to tie the knot at his party the week before it was scheduled and very little additional planning was needed. This time, the situation was very different and she knew she wouldn’t be able to get the jump on people again, so she’d agreed to have a conventional ceremony/reception in Georgia. It had certainly made Bones’s mom happy, as she hadn’t been allowed to help with anything when He’d married Jocelyn. Eleanor McCoy had been very kind to Jamie, frequently expressing her delight at seeing her son so happy again. Laura, also, seemed pleased at her brother’s upcoming marriage. “I can’t think of two people more perfectly suited to each other,” she’d told Jamie on the shuttle ride earlier. “I think he was smitten the second he met you. The more he complains about someone, the more he likes them and he just continually gripes about you whenever we’d talk, so I guessed something was up.” Jamie had laughed merrily. “So, when he’s grousing at me, he’s really declaring his love? He must REALLY adore me, then.” “He does,” Laura smiled knowingly. At the table next to her, Ally was smirking at her. Jamie and her former sister-in-law had remained close, despite the distance,  and had reconnected when Jamie came home. At Ally’s request, She told the story of her and Bones’s long journey to love, hoping not to convey the idea she was replacing Chris. Thankfully, Ally hadn’t taken it that way and had even graciously accepted Jamie’s invitation to be her bridesmaid. “You’ll always be my sister, Ally,” Jamie had told her frankly, causing them both to tear up. “You bet I will, girl,” she’d said, engulfing Jamie in a fierce hug. “It’s so good to see you thriving again after everything that’s happened. “You, too,” Jamie returned. Ally and Chris’s father had passed away while Jamie had been out in the Black, his health and spirits having rapidly declined after his son’s death. Ally had taken over the ranch full time and retired from the fleet, meeting a nice veterinarian whom she was now dating. Jamie returned her “sister’s” smirk with a look of feigned innocence, causing all of the women to crack up. “Can you blame me for the anticipation?” She asked. “Goodness knows we’ve taken our time getting here. I’ve put poor Bones through the wringer in the meantime.” “And he says you are very worth it,” Laura put in. “Is he still being all secretive about the honeymoon?” “Yep,” She sighed. “Won’t budge an inch. Says he doesn’t know about the dress, so I don’t know about the honeymoon. Just that I’d like it. It’s only fair, so I’ve stopped trying to pry it out of him.” “Sounds like the arrangement I had with Spock,” Nyota commented. “I asked him afterward if the surprise was worth it and he said “Most Certainly” with a very expressive look in his eyes. I imagine Leonard will feel similarly. That is one stunning creation you picked out.” Jamie had gone for an ivory mermaid gown that was extremely flattering, but still appropriate for the setting. “Thanks,” Jamie replied, thinking about how reluctant she’d been to go dress shopping until Carol and Nyota had come alongside and offered encouragement. “I had my doubts until the second I tried it on and then I was just, like, WOW! I love it! I kind of did things in reverse order: color for the first wedding and white for the second.” “And look very enchanting in both. Did I hear you found a new owner for your blue dress?” Ally asked. “Yes, I performed a spur of the moment wedding and the bride needed something to wear. Luckily, it fit Lieutenant Carson quite nicely. She was so happy, it made my heart warm,” Jamie recounted. “Now, she can pass it down to her daughter and make more memories in it.” Carol sighed mistily. She had struggled for a long time with the heavy weight of her father’s actions and how many people it affected. Somewhere along the five year mission, she’d let go of that misplaced guilt and allowed herself to accept Jamie’s offer of friendship. She was very thankful for it now. “You should know, some of the crew have bets going as to which one of you will cry during the ceremony,” she informed Jamie with a conspiratorial smile. “Those engineering and helm crew will bet on anything,” Jamie said, with a toss of her head. “I’ve never once cried at a wedding: not even my own. Isn’t that right, Ally?” “Yes, It is,” Ally conformed, “I hope you haven’t put any money down on her shedding tears because she just doesn’t: Well, not THAT kind of tear, anyway. I’d definitely put money on Leonard, though.” “For sure,” Laura emphasized. As it turned out, there was a first time for everything, because even though Leonard may have started things off by tearing up at the first sight of Jamie coming down the aisle, the bride did not live up to her previous history and cried through the whole ceremony, sniffling her way through the heartfelt vows she’d written. The waterproof mascara she’d formerly joked about being unnecessary barely held it together until she finally stopped when Bones took her in his arms and kissed her slow and sweet. They’d been through so much, suffered so much, and pined so much, the ceremony felt like their own personal life triumph and they ran out hand in hand, beaming smiles bigger than most of the guests had ever seen from the two. Ally and Laura embraced upon exiting the church, keeping a respectful distance from the newlyweds, who were holding each other very tightly. “If that wasn’t one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is!” Ally exclaimed, dabbing at her own eyes. “And they wrote those vows,” Laura added. “Wow! I didn’t expect Len to get so deep. He tends to keep that part of himself private. That was raw and real in there.” Carol and Uhura joined them a few moments later, handing out more tissues and they stood together and shared the happiness they felt for the much loved couple. The bride, meanwhile, was still calming down from her emotional onslaught, held close in her new husband’s arms. “I don’t know what came over me, dearest of Boneses,” she chuckled, looking up at him with a watery smile. “Sorry about getting all weepy on you.” “Nothing to apologize for, Darlin’” he murmured, kissing her forehead. “I wasn’t much better. Turns out, It’s one thing to practice the vows when you’re alone and all composed, it’s another to look your soon to be spouse in the face and realize just how much you mean them.” “Why didn’t I cry at my first wedding?” She pondered. “I meant what I said to Chris just as much.” “Different circumstances,” Bones mused. “Our first weddings, we were both new at love and everything was fresh and exciting. I think in this case our long and tumultuous history is a factor in bringing out the waterworks.” He’d put into words what Jamie had been trying to describe and she was grateful for the understanding. He’d made it clear she shouldn’t have to worry about bringing up Chris around him: he was a big part of her history. Resting her head against his shoulder, she sighed in relief and contentment. Bones was hers forever, and she His. “Here comes the Mom squad,” she warned him, seeing Winona and Eleanor approaching. “Ready to handle the excitement?” “Guess so,” he replied, with a chuckle, tipping up her chin to give her another quick kiss. “You’re about to be accosted by your sisters as well.” “Bless their hearts,” Jamie said fondly, with a comic imitation of his accent that made them both double over laughing.

[bulletinedsolitude]

You’re just right at my skull. Great!

A Huge Trouble

A huge trouble, I reckon Walking with a doubt upon Looking from the cowls, the masks the rocks, the so deadly mocks

So kid, daring and dreamer Walk, reason than chin taller For the assertive you lend, and for the terrors, do bend

For as the time calls for you, you may not hustle for clues of where the compass points to Just gaze at your stars, and you

Shall highly know what to do.

More or less an hour before that piece existed, I had a painful blank page in front of me. That is a story of my trouble trying to start working on how to introduce myself “creatively.” It is a way of convincing and finding my momentum of writing genuinely, because that’s how I naturally like it—my pen must always spit out raw thoughts, like the ones running in my head in a state of solitude, otherwise the things that come out of my mind will sound foreign to myself, and someone told me non-genuine literature is trash.

Speaking of solitude, to officially start introducing myself, I will explain why I went with the name of my blog, “Bulletined Solitude.”

The Story behind Bulletined Solitude (that sounds like a so sad, so lonely feature story :()

First thought when I heard about making a blog, I wanted everything to be real, because it’s easier to write that way, and from there, the words would come out of me naturally. Writing is one of the things that I have resorted to when I felt something, because I’m not the kind of person who’s easy to get comfortable speaking about things that are very personal about me, so I would end up channeling all the emotions through my pen and paper. But for that to happen, my environment must have the sense of peace and loneliness.

So, I thought having a blog that features my honest insights, would be like bringing my solitude into publication, and bulletined solitude means something like that to me, so I chose it. And you thought it was deep.

So, yes, genuine yada yada, tell us about yourself then!!!

One thing that comes with writing, is reading. So that means I read, apparently. I started reading (literary-wise) when I was 13. I remember it was Bob Ong’s Kapitan Sino that I ever read first. And that basically influenced what I have read after that, and what I will be reading in the future probably. It is a fine chop of fantasy, dystopia, and heroic fiction. And we’re not snubbing the little touch of romance there, of course. Up to this date, my favorite books so far are Victoria Aveyard’s Red Queen Series, Veronica Roth’s Divergent Series, and The Eye of Minds by James Dashner.

While I think reading have shaped my mind better, I don’t take it seriously, so maybe it only does happen subconsciously. I jump into a book only with the aim to escape and be entertained, anything that comes with it is a subconscious blessing.

I really want to talk about my favorite book characters as well, because I’m an introvert learning only from book characters instead of going out and learning by myself. Kidding (jokes are half meant). But here they are:

Beatrice “Tris” Prior from Divergent. I love her basically because she’s brave and witty at the same time. I know the movies made her two-dimensional by portraying her as a stiff girl turned fighter and then she’s just that. But that’s expected for mainstream movie adaptations, always fails at shaping a character. In the book though, she was more than just that. Every choice she made meant so much more because her thoughts justified it, including the part where she sacrificed herself to stop the spread of serum that makes everybody lose their memories, which was sadly not featured in the adaptation. The movie series lost me there; I don’t deny that the first installment is still okay though.

Anika Dragomir from Anatomy of a Misfit. This girl gave me good laughs, but more than anything, I related to her because of her flaws—from her thoughts and her deeds. She’s a character who tried to be shallow by being one of the cliché high school perfectionists, but always knew she wasn’t. She made wrong choices and did regret, which makes the whole story much more close to heart. Also, #NoToGuns.

Logan McDonough from Anatomy of a Misfit. He is an adorable, loving, selfless person. He’s one of those few characters that you think were so easy and predictable, but at the end of the story, an act he did is revealed, so full of impact and so inspiring that it makes all your past impressions of him fade away immediately. His family is basically abused by his father who is a gun owner/enthusiast (he has a collection, if I remember correctly) and Logan’s the person who has been protecting his siblings from his father’s violence until that night when it all had to end with the loss of life.

Tiberias Calore “Cal” VII from Red Queen. He is not gonna be the last character I will list here from the same story so I’ll have to explain a little bit. Basically, their world is the Kingdom of Norta, a dystopian country divided by classes of two: Silver and Red bloods (except in the later installments, there will be Newbloods), with the former being the powerful ones for having supernatural abilities and the red bloods who are ordinary people. I listed him here for his bravery of breaking boundaries by connecting to a red blooded person, which is supposed to be forbidden as a silver blood, that may be easy-sounding, believe me, in his case, it takes a lot of guts. He is also just enough of confident and self-assured, which is deserved because he’s the first prince. And he embodies that strong and fearless but bending warrior. And he bears the ability of manipulating fire, so what’s not to like?

“I am your rightful king, Silver-born for centuries. The only reason you're still breathing is because I can't burn the oxygen from this room.” — Cal

Killed. It.

Mare Barrow from Red Queen. She made everybody’s jaw drop to the ground when she, a red blood girl, turned out to have the ability to create/control electricity. But her character is more important and she is here because of three things: she’s a fighter, she’s strong, and she’s a dreamer.

“I have lived that life already, in the mud, in the shadows, in a cell, in a silk dress. I will never submit again. I will never stop fighting.” — Mare

I am gagged.

Maven Calore from Red Queen. Spoilers first: her mother turned him an evil. But I will never forget how true he was at the beginning and how dreamy he was as a character. He was so good and so kind, I wanted to be his friend. And for him to be caged in his mother’s influence, I am weeping inside.

“The truth is what I make it. I could set this world on fire and call it rain.”

I have not lost hope for him. But…

(c) to owner

#MareCal since the beginning.

If it’s not enough evidence, I am obsessed with Red Queen; I need May 15th to happen because the fourth and final installment is released that day. War Storm, wait for me.

Moving on.

When it comes to television, I’m not denying my Super Inggo obsession back in the day. I craved so hard for a kwek-kwek every day. But recently, I’ve come to love English and Korean series/dramas also, most of them being anything fantasy or medical. Favorites are probably D-Day, Grey’s Anatomy, The Flash, Westworld and Stranger Things.

Power Rangers is on another level. It’s an interest I share with my brother (probably the only one). Now, I did not watch so much of it as a kid, I think I only watched two/three seasons, but lately I have been watching more because of him. And the 2017 movie deserves 5 stars, it was fantastic, it made me nostalgic.

I AM THE BLUE RANGER. Do not steal it.

I was a website layout enthusiast once; I don’t know how currently rusty I am at it because I’ve never tried it since Grade 10. My teacher made me attend this competition, Technolympics and I won it (surprisingly) when I was in Grade 8, but that was just a simple static HTML website, if I may be honest it’s the neat layout that made me win it, but it’s nothing special with the coding.

I was also a campus journalist; I jumped quite from different roles every time though: broadcasting team technician, to reporter, to paper layout artist, to news editor. It’s all over the place, so I really never got to develop one skill.

When it comes to my behavior, I am slightly that kid who stutters at first meeting, hard to open up, and just straight up awkward. I am very wary of what I say at first meeting, I kind of have trouble forming the perfect topic to throw out there to a person I just met. Even to people I’ve been with long enough, I always find a way to make up something funny just so we won’t go to the serious side. I also get crazy though, like laugh to the end of Earth kind of crazy.

And…I watch ASMR (a term for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) videos in YouTube. They are used to trigger a static/tingling sensation which you may feel from the top of your head down your spine. I do it to enhance my napping though. Try some:

Category is: Slam book Realness

I never had a slam book, neither did my classmates (because we’re all boring; okay maybe at least one did or it’s just me who didn’t have). But I’ll be trying to be cool once in my life so here is me trying to answer slam book template questions:

PERSONAL INFO Real Name: Judd Vander Rondares Birth Month: May Zodiac Sign: Gemini Gender: M Age: 17 Romantic Status: Single (since birth and not ever regretting hehe)

FAVORITES Color: Blue Song: I Don’t Know My Name by Grace Vanderwaal Singer: Grace Vanderwaal Movies: Love You to the Stars and Back and Big Hero 6 Actors/Actresses: Winona Ryder, Joshua Garcia, Katherine Langford, Eddie Redmayne, Models: Kris Grikaite, Kit Butler, Jordan Barrett, Jhona Burjack, Julian Schneyder, Mayowa Nicholas

OTHERS Motto: Outdo yourself. What is Love (this can’t be not done): God is love. :D

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING

Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Was my learning in SPUP vital to where I’m leading to? I see myself a fully realized professional, independent, responsible, self-sustaining, and helpful citizen of the Philippines. hehe Back in Grade 10, there was a career planning program, and for the activities, I would always not know what to write for my future plans because there were not a lot of people who gave me inspiration of what insights I should have for my future aside from my parents, and one of the things that I liked about going in SPUP is that I was surrounded by people whose aspirations boosted what I already had in mind, but not very sure of. But aside from that, of course SPUP was a good school to go for SHS, and to be honest, any school would have been okay, because I’m going for a four-year college anyway and I didn’t need a school that would make me ready for literal work/job already, I just needed something to give me background for my future course, and SPUP did okay in that department, I believe.

Was STEM the best choice after all? Yes, because now that I know the path that I’m taking (will be further discussed in the next question), it is very apparent that STEM was the best choice for me.

What course will you take in college and why? My answer to this is like a continuation for my answer in the previous question. I recently just decided to take Medical Technology, and it was after a few talks with my mother, I didn’t know it was what I needed to make up my mind. I don’t mean that I was persuaded to take the course, I just didn’t have the confidence to take it, doubting that I may not be that passionate about it so I wanted some advice. I’ve long decided that I will not take a course that I’m not passionate about, I didn’t have to hear it from anybody—I just knew it. So, when I learned that she does think my plan is worth investing and especially knowing my cousin has graduated from it, made me motivated to truly pursue it.

What topic would you like to learn more in this subject? I already have taken Microsoft Office lessons and some HTML, so naturally, I would like something that I have never taken before. Since we already took Photoshop (I wouldn’t be mad for more though), maybe Illustrator, or anything for video editing. It would be also nice to revisit HTML since I’ve forgotten lots of tags already, or JavaScript.

Ask Me Anything.  Sir, masyado bang maikli tong introduction ko? Sorry po sa grammatical errors, ang dami kasi, mahirap mag-spot. Haha

Along your way, you’ll see the deepest secrets of my brain, never be terrified.

[janeykath318]

Closure 4

Day four post coma, Jamie woke up early from a bone-chilling nightmare that left her gasping and crying out for Chris. She’d seen Khan killing him in slow motion while she was trapped in the Warp core, burning and unable to move.

“No! Stop!! Chris!!” She screamed, struggling wildly to help him. She had to get to him. Had to stop that phaser from hurting the love of her life…..

A pair of hands settled on her burning cheeks.

“Easy, Jamie, Easy, its only a dream. Come back, Jamie. You’re all right. You’re safe.”

She jolted awake, gasping and saw Bones standing over her in his white scrubs with a worried look in his eyes.

Her own eyes were streaming with tears as she relived her husband’s death again.

“Bones!” She what whimpered. “I saw Chris die and I couldn’t stop it! Burning up! It’s so awful!”

She gave up and sobbed with fear and grief, her heartbreak pouring out uncontrollably as Bones attempted to comfort her with muttered words and holding her hand, while wiping away her tears.

When the storm finally passed, she blinked up through her swollen eyelids and saw he looked almost as anguished as she did.

“It was terrible, Bones. I watched him die all over again.” She whispered plaintively, wiping her eyes.

The doctor sighed and held up a straw so she could sip water, which she quickly accepted, having screamed herself hoarse.

“No wonder you cried so hard. I don’t even know what to say, Jamie. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, Bones,” she sniffled, seeing the genuine pain on his face. “It’s so comforting to have you here instead of some random doc I don’t know. I can only imagine the amount of people who’ve lost love ones and spouses in the attack.”

“Yes, well. They ain’t my best friend.” Bones said ruefully. “Now, try to rest easy for a bit before your momma comes. Why don’t you tell me about that "other conversation” you and Chris had? I never got the low-down on that.“

Jamie pushed away the dark remnants of the nightmare and her pain to contemplate the first happy memory of them as a couple. As Bones went about preparing her litany of treatments, she opened up and told the tale.

******** It was nearly two weeks before she heard from Pike about the talk they needed to have and she wondered if he’d changed his mind about her when she got a message asking her to meet him at a small park just outside Academy grounds.

So on the lovely Saturday afternoon, Jamie had garbed herself in her favorite turquoise skinny jeans, gray T-shirt and denim jacket (after changing three times) and made the walk to the scenic area he’d specified.

He was waiting for her by a bench at the edge of the walking trail that led away into the woods. Her heartbeat sped up as she saw him in civvies for the first time in months.

"Wow. So you do have more than just uniforms in your wardrobe,” she’d said cheekily as she joined him, trying to hide how he’d thrown her off balance from the start with the way he rocked the leather and denim.

“It’s hard to believe it, I know,” he said dryly, motioning her to sit on the bench beside him.

Jamie found herself suddenly shy in front of her long time secret crush. She hadn’t even told Bones about the meeting for fear he’d get all suspicious or say something dumb to Pike.

“Cat got your tongue?” He spoke up at last, trying to sound casual.

“More like it’s been stepped on by the elephant in the room,” she admitted, flashing a nervous smile and plucking up her courage. “Let’s just say, those less-than-professional feelings as you put it, go both ways. I was far from horrified at your admittance, the complete opposite, in fact. You ever wonder why I suddenly quit my serial dating and carefree ways?”

“I thought it was good sense finally kicking in,” he said with that goofy half grin. “You’re telling me I was wrong?”

“I’m a Kirk, what do you think?” She shot back, looking him full in the eyes at last.

“Touch��.” He conceded the point with a smirk and Jamie was getting antsy when he made his move, turning sideways and taking both of her hands in his.

“I’m not sure it’s showing good sense to get involved with me, but for once I find myself tempted to throw caution out the window. That day you flounced into my office declaring your utter contempt for all mankind, I knew I was a goner.”

Jamie flushed and smiled. She’d been furious after the thing with Gary had ended badly and proved him to be a fame whore. Chris had let her rant and rave until she was out of energy then told her he agreed Gary was a complete idiot and offered her a consoling hug, which she’d accepted gratefully.

“You’ve always been good for me and good to me,” she sighed. “I kept quiet about my interest for the same reasons you did, but you must know I do find you VERY attractive, Captain.”

Just saying it made her blush furiously, which aggravated her. She’d never had problems telling people what she thought of them, before.

“C'mon now, Jamie, let me see those beautiful baby blues,” he urged, tilting her chin up so she had to look at him again. The grey eyes that were generally sharp and piercing were looking at her with a gentle expression that sent a thrill of delight through her.

“You’re incredibly beautiful, you know that? Everything about you is: your genius level brain, your rule-skirting tendencies, your reckless enthusiasm, your infectious smile. Even when you make me want to tear out my hair, I also wanted to kiss that smirk right off your face.”

“Go ahead, Christopher,” She whispered huskily, boldly using his whole name, “I dare you.” And he did. ********

“Don’t worry, Bones, I won’t go into detail, just that it was fabulous.”

Jamie concluded her tale with a dreamy sigh which turned into a yawn. Her friend shook his head in wonder.

“So that’s how you wooed the hard-nosed Captain, huh?”

“Yep,” she said thoughtfully. “Turns out he wasn’t so impervious to my charms after all.” She looked at her friend earnestly. “I hope you get a chance to have great love, too, Bones. I know I drove him crazy, but I never doubted he loved me and I hope I never gave him reason to doubt I loved him, either.”

“Some of us maybe aren’t meant to have that kind of great love, though,” Bones said with a pained expression. “I’d rather be following your sorry self around and keeping you alive than getting myself into emotional entanglements again.”

Jamie was touched at his statement, but hoped Bones would be surprised one day. It was clear at least part of Chris’s observations were correct in regards to Leonard McCoy being very loyal to her.

She dozed off again for awhile and awoke to see her mother watching her.

“Hi, honey,” Winona said softly, lines of sorrow and worry around her face.

“Hi, Mom,” Jamie greeted. “Glad you could make it. I know everything’s chaos right now.”

“Yes, but I’ll let them deal with it,” Winona waved her hand towards the window where the rescue and clean up efforts could be seen ongoing in the damaged city. “I’m here for you, baby. I would have been here a lot faster if we hadn’t been out on the edge of Alpha Quadrant.”

“Did you get briefed on what happened?” Jamie asked, hoping she wouldn’t have to repeat it all again.

“Yes,” Winona’s gaze fell to her daughter’s left hand and the ring. “Oh, honey, It killed me when I heard about Chris. Did you see it happen?”

“No, I was distracted trying to clear the room and return fire. When I got back, he’d taken a shot to the chest and was gone.”

Gone. It was such a final word, but she hated saying “dead” far more.

Winona squeezed her hand in silent sympathy. She certainly knew what it felt like and Jamie was thankful she’d have her to lean on as she adjusted to life without her beloved Admiral.

“Since we both missed the funeral, do you want to watch it with me? All I have to do is message Spock and he’ll send the video to my PADD.”

“Do you think you’re ready to see it, Jamie?” Winona asked. “I don’t want you to have a physical setback from the surge of emotions.”

“It can’t be as bad as my dreams,” she shrugged. “I’d like to hear what people had to say about him. I’ll be okay.”

So in a matter of minutes, Spock had sent the tape and they were watching a hugely attended funeral filled with top brass and dignitaries from many species. Once the formal speeches praising his astounding career and character were finished, several people shared personal anecdotes and memories that had Jamie sniffling and smiling because these people actually knew her husband and really understood what he was all about.

“Good ole Number One,” Winona murmured as Pike’s former first officer talked about him staring down hostile Romulans while battling Rigellian flu.

“He always was a stubborn mule,” she said. “Kind of like someone else I know.” She winked at Jamie, who didn’t try to deny it.

“If I’d been there I would have told them how he pulled my phaser from the holster and shot two Romulans who’d crept up behind me–while he had that slug in him and was paralyzed,” Jamie mused. “It was incredible how FIERCE Chris was when he got riled up.”

She fell silent as the camera focused on the casket, stomach clenching at the cold hard reality in the shiny brown wood box.

Admiral Barnett concluded the service with another heartfelt tribute to his colleague and friend.

“I’ve never met an officer more suited to Command than Chris Pike. He embodied all the qualities of an ideal Captain: leadership, courage, and selflessness as well as diplomacy and compassion. He knew how to push to get the best out of his crew without them even realizing it. But he was more than just a great Captain and later, Admiral, he was a great friend.”

He proceeded to talk about Chris and his friendship that dated back to the Yorktown years and Winona smiled and nodded at several points as she remembered many of the events Barnett referred to. Jamie was thinking about family parties at the ranch in Mojave when her attention was grabbed by the next statement.

“There were only three things that could cause Chris to get riled up: One, mess with his crew. Bad Idea. Two, mess with his family. Even worse. Three, cast aspersions on his marriage, which was grounds for being disowned completely.”

Jamie knew all about that. Chris had frozen out quite a few media and ignorant “fans” who talked smack about their relationship and it was glorious. She’d mildly protested that he didn’t need to do it, she didn’t care what they said, but she knew it would be hypocritical to stop him. After all, she’d put an ensign on long term gamma shift for insulting him in her hearing and another had spent the night in the brig after using the term “sugar daddy.”

“In summary,” Richard continued, “the world lost a very high quality man and we will honor his memory by returning Starfleet to the organization he believed in and prioritizing the loved ones in our lives. Rest In Peace, Admiral.”

He saluted and shortly afterwards the service ended. Jamie realized with a shock she didn’t even know where her husband had been buried and made a mental note to find out immediately.