#which isn't true but a recovering self-esteem is just like that sometimes

[rashi-en]

hello! just wanted to stop by and ask how that omo week is treating you. the individual days seem doable but all 7 in a row seems like a real enduranc

It's honestly been mostly inconvenient, haha. Drawing out everything for the comic I wanna do takes a while, and I've been mostly regressing back into old dehydration methods, drinking not even half what I did on Monday (since Tues had personal stuff as stated, and I just had to send my car in for work today meaning I had exactly 1 public bathroom chance at 3 pm n can't go anywhere else for the rest of the day). As a result my bladder has kinda just been perpetually at a slightly achey 4 or 5, noticeable but manageable. Also I know things are just going to get worse so I've been takin it a bit easy (Thurs n Fri are gonna be a challenge lmao). On the plus side I've already learned more about my limits n abilities, just little things I probably wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't on a 24/7 challenge like this, and I might look into those a bit more :3

I will say that even though I've cut the occasional corner, I'm still going strong, and I'll be posting Monday's comic a bit later I think! It's been the most interesting day so far, hehe!

[tealoverdrawssomething]

tw: EDs, body dysmorphia, big breast issues

And after such insulting, dehumanizing comments people make surprised Pikachu face when a woman goes to the expensive, life-risking breast reduction surgery🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I remember when I was young, my boobs didn't want to grow until I was 15. The majority of girls of my age had already started growing them. So, when I was in a summer camp and we were taking off our swimsuits after sea, one of my girl bullies said loudly in the room how my breasts were "weird" and "abnormal" for not growing how it's predicted as "normal". These loud comments about my breasts sticked with me for a long time. I swear, I dreamt every night I would have "normal" breasts like any other girl. When I got 15, my wish came true - but for wrong reasons. My hormonal changes made my body expand everywhere OUT OF NOWHERE. My hips expanded, my shoulders expanded, I started gaining fat in legs and arms, and of course, my breasts grew. They grew so much they started sagging. I got stretch marks I thought I would receive only when I would be pregnant. My mother shamed me for that, she complained how she couldn't find any fitting clothes for me, like it was my fault for her anger. I noticed how men started looking at me differently, how my peers made comments about my breasts behind my back. I was already bullied multiple times in a teenagehood and growing up in a household with a narcissistic mother only damaged my psyche and self-esteem much more. I thought I would recover from bullying trauma, but after such changes in my body, all my efforts were for nothing. I started hating my body much more.

Having big breasts, regardless of your weight/height ISN'T comfortable: you feel pain when you run or jump; you can sleep well only in certain positions; you need to gyno check more often because big breasts sweat more and get painful pimples; you spend shit tons of money to find clothes which you hope they won't constantly ride up, gain extra folders under your breasts and won't sit on you like a potato sack; you are always afraid about sexual perception of you and sexual comments about your breasts. When I was at my average weight, when I was overweight, it didn't matter cause my breasts size didn't change that much (due to my Russian genes). Ah, and about sagging. If your big breasts don't look like inflated balloons 24/7, they're ugly and disgusting by todays beauty standards. I'm glad there were comments under this post which brought everything down to Earth and protected big breast women, but comments like these I showed do more harm than good. Some of them even stated that women with "undesirable" breasts don't deserve to marry and reproduce, 'cause: "genetic attraction means everything in human evolution" (definitely not eugenics). Not the first time I've encountered such hate towards big breasts (especially on fat women) online. I don't know do I have body dysmorphia but when I was at my lowest, I would binge read such posts/comments and make myself feel more alienated from my body. Sometimes, I wished I could just take a knife and cut off my breasts so they wouldn't bring me any life problems. I also feel pain for all skinny girls and boys who get shamed for not having enough fat and muscles. When people shame guys for being skinny because thinness isn't associated with masculinity, I start feel so much anger.