#which isn't for me
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Going through all my old Graysonfam posts between Mundi and Rhi got me feeling some things.. some sad things
#like what the fuck happened#it was all fun and fics and aus#until season 4 aired and then there was this weird shift in atmosphere#it felt like it went from family is the most important thing to only caring about shipping#which isn't for me#i want cute family stuff#i'm not a romance/smut fic person#and that's mostly all the titans fics now a days#that and batf//m fics that act like only dick and jason exist as characters#also people are why more fucking aggressive#especially when it comes to their ships#i don't want anything to do with that thank you very much#cods.text
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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crowley
#fem presenting crowley you're everything to me#as you might know I've been recovering from an injury these past few weeks which is why I couldn't draw as much as usual#been doing a bit better so I wanted to give drawing a try again#while my arm isn't back to normal yet it feels a LOT better than 2 weeks ago#which is a good sign#still gonan take things easy of course#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#fem crowley#why was one of teh suggestions for that tag fem crocodile#I'll have to look that up#david tennant#crowley fanart#aziracrow#aziracrow fanart#my art#fanart#my good omens art#good omens 2
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We're not appreciating the Weird Barbie enough. It's said in the movie that she helps everyone who need help while they always see her as someone who's not as good as them. She was friends with all dismissed Barbies and Kens, was there to offer support and safe shelter for everyone who needed it in Kendom, without her nothing in the movie would've been alright. When Stereotypical Barbie calls her "ugly and unwanted" she still helps her.
She was representing a woman in women's world who was pushed aside by other women because she didn't fit in but still had more wisdom and kindness than everyone who thought they're better than her.
#weird barbie#barbie#Barbie movie#everyone looks at her as a queer person i see her as me I'm a straight person who got bullied simply for being different than the rest#but it's beautiful that we all see ourselves in her whatever our story is#cuz that's the point of characters like her#i changed wisness to wisdom sorry english isn't my first language and i forgot which one is more correct
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Keep thinking about that one scene in secret life
#it was so silly i've had this visualised in my head for ages#actually sick of this comic now tho the colouring made me question tf I've been doing for 10 years#anyway#the sillies#not set on any of these designs btw and Scott isn't in his band outfit BC he isn't part of it yet in the series#which is the excuse I'm using bc I haven't solidified that design yet#tag time#secret life#life series#scott smajor#smajor1995#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#goodtimeswithscar#this probably the second comic I've ever finished ever so#IM LEARNING OK#fandumb fanart#ALSO ALSO guess where I got the death messages the
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[Toon x Mobster] drawn for fun, he doesn't know how to hold that thing wwwwww
#toon x mobster#txm#jack desmond#oc#ocs#oc art#original character#original characters#original character art#one of the main reason why I never make a rendered piece with Gavriel Huffman is because that's too much detail lmao#Jack is admittedly more fun to draw because his art style is so easy#this was inspired by the Muse Dash drawings because I've been playing it a lot lately#I honestly gotta thank Jack for helping me try and figure out how to draw using bright saturated colors again#it's been a hot while since I've done a pastel cute piece#all I've been using are desaturated colors. which isn't a bad thing but I'm starting to forget how to work with saturated colors lmao
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Charles, you can't just say stuff
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#unclear which ones are angels and which ones are devils#maybe they take turns#me drawing kisses isn't really common#this might be the best you get lol#also yay bitchy edwin
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This took way too long for a comic that's supposed to be self-indulgent and quick,, Apologies if the chat bubbles are confusing on who's talkin..
Anyway another comic for my AU! I'm not sorry for the lack of background cause I really wanted to just focus on the dialogue lawl
Extra doodles I did while making the comic if ya'll want some of it:
#During the process of making this it reminded me why I'd rather stick to making short comics than a full series#my artstyle losing and gaining quality each panel over and over#this isn't even fully shaded and i already took way too long for my taste#Anyway another session of me yapping in tags#it's the fact i had to post this in my laptop and not my phone cause of the photo limit#which i didn't even know Tumblr had#not too happy with the results maybe i should've not coloured this help#hope it's okay ajkds#field research au#dandys world#dandy's world#dandys world fanart#dandys world sprout#dandys world au#dandys world brightney#dandys world connie#dandys world goob#dandys world looey
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#m*a*s*h#mash#m*a*s*h 4077#mash 4077#mash out of context#s2e11#2x12#carry on hawkeye#currently working on something right now (FOR THIS BLOG. LET ME SAY THAT) and this episode is a hint#because it's been uhhhh 3 years. and I'm just now finding motivation to keep doing it#which is funny because I have a full time job now. isn't that funny how that happens#suddenly you have responsibilities and you're like welp! time to go back to this other thing#happy holidays...? from hawkeye#season 2
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Day 22 - Candy
+ alt version
#myherotober2024#himiko wants to eat ochako bc she's the sweetest girl part 2 electric boogaloo#if I got a nickel every time I drew Himiko eating tiny Ochako#i'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice#anyway me try to say consistent with artstyle/aesthetic challenge FAILED#again#eh well I'd be boring to always draw in the same way#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#togachako#himiko toga#ochako uraraka#fanart
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hey, remember being 18 years old and playing mass effect for the first time and it's got this like intense aura of being very small and very insignificant in a very big, very empty galaxy? remember playing mass effect for the first time and everything all of this is so new and mysterious, and it's 2am and you're sitting in a dark room in the light from your tv and you're playing through feros for the first time and you feel that this is someting very old and very ancient and you are somewhere you shouldn't be and you don't know what's going to happen or where you're going but you keep on. there's a tingling in your stomach and you're playing mass effect for the first time. the thorian is a milennia old sentient plant being. the rachni queen is old and telepathic and a hive mind and in pain. sovereign is an ancient machine that has not been built but is, and has always been, and this is something so alien and so unlike and beyond anything your human mind can comprehend, and this is something unexplainable and huge and as uncaring and indifferent as the empty galaxy around you. you're playing mass effect for the first time and you're walking on the surface of an almost completely empty planet with nothing but your two companions silently walking beside you and everything is so huge and empty and silent and you're so small and insignificant and it's so beautiful and so scary and you feel like you are on a rollercoaster about to drop down. you are playing mass effect for the first time and you're playing the mission on the moon and you stop and just look up at earth visible in the sky. you know this. this is home. you are playing mass effect for the first time, and the galaxy is so big, and you are so tiny, and everything is about to change for you.
#mass effect#wild rambles#i miss the feeling of playing that game for the first time#now i know everything and it isn't as mysterious and alluring anymore#getting lost in the tunnels on feros is one of my memories of all time. it just felt like... i was meant to get lost. there's Something her#i love the whole trilogy but man me1 really did have that sci-fi interstellar type of feeling the other two don't#also later they retconned the reapers as having actually been built by someone as opposed to ''this is so alien you can't understand it.#this is a machine without a creator. it has always existed. you are not meant to understand. this is so much bigger than you.''#which i really liked a lot more but like. whatever. im not in charge. they wanted to make things more palatable to the human mind when i#think the cosmic horror aspect of the reapers in me1 was one of the things that affected me the most#and made me stay with the series for as long as i did
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so i wrote a book that comes out soon and having that be real feels like falling down stairs because i wanted this since i was 7 years old so now what do i want after it.
so tell me why today all i care about is the word trundle, that the word trundle exists. of course i have things to do and emails to send and a world of suffering to protect but today my brain won't let me look away from the sheer linguistic improbability of trundle.
i saw a truck doing it. i imagine animals did it first. or people maybe. to trundle comes direct from old english. cows do it on occasion, but more often sheep (in my experience). someone had to name lope and someone had to name slog. the verbs to run and to leap make sense; they are singular and important distinguishers.
but we can bask rather than relax. we can scuttle rather than crawl. sometimes when i move in dance class it is to undulate rather than roll. someone had to name things like sonder and whimsy. of course we had words for tangible things like tree and grass and root. i love those words, i'm eating them.
i don't know the word for this thing. where it's real-now. sometimes i feel it when i am dating someone i actually like-and-love and i realize that is real, i am dating them and it's real that i like-and-love them. sometimes i have this feeling when i have been planning a vacation or an event for weeks-and-months and it finally happens - the feeling this is happening, it's happening right now.
it happens randomly sometimes too. i will be at the carnival or at an ice cream stand or with the last light of summer in my hair and i will feel it again, that sense - i have waited my whole life for this, and im finally experiencing it, and i need to pay attention to it.
but it's real! how amazing! how horribly tragic! it's real. it exists. the moment is here.
i have no idea what to do with it.
#link to book is first line#writeblr#i lost my car my phone my job my laptop#all in the span of 9 months#so no otherwise stuff isn't going well lol#luck seems to work like that for me#.... i have BIG luck.#i don't get to decide which side of luck i fall on#i am either STUPIDLY lucky. i mean should-have-died#or i am STUPIDLY unlucky. i mean. my phone saw the ocean jumped out of girlpockets . and took a dive#PS updated the link idk why it didn't work sorry!!
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i know it will never happen but i so desperately desire an origins-type playable backstory thing in all games but especially veilguard. i feel like it added so much depth to origins and made you feel instantly connected to your character in a way that gets lost in games like inquisition where you fill in the blanks as you go except for the bare basics. like, i do enjoy the freedom to willy nilly decide where a character was before the events of the story from a creative perspective, but the playable origins were just so good! especially when you go back to where your warden is from and can engage differently with the arcs there
#i'm so sorry to anyone who hates da that follows me lmao i will keep stuff tagged#i'm probably going to be so annoying about this new game even if i hate it aofijeoijw which is probably likely#maybe i'll actually get around to replaying the other games now. we'll see#i had started origins but just wasn't feeling it bc tbqh it's just a bit clunky and none of the romance options really speak to me anymore#morrigan is great but i feel like she doesn't fit the character i wanted to play afoweijaoi and leliana scares me in dao lmao#i get such ick from overly religious characters faowiejfao#like i like her and cass in theory but in reality i want to run away screaming#it's different if the fake religion isn't overwhelmingly christianity-based but the da one is#and it makes me feel like there are bees under my flesh#dragon age#*dykeposting
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Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3
(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)
[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.
The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."
A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned
Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?
Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"
A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.
The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"
We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless
Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this
Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.
We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder
Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?
Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes
Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!
Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey
Maya: Shh just listen!
We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".
Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.
We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.
Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?
Nick looks at him, waiting for his response
We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."
We cut again to see the three of them standing together.
Miles: I... don't think I like women?
Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!
Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!
We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.
Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.
We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.
With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.
Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.
Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement
Nick: It's four in the afternoon-
he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight
Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.
Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?
Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.
We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.
As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.
Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve
Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?
We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick
Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk
Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...
Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"
/.End ID]
#Miles can handle horrifying truths about the death of his father and the nature of his guardian#but he draws the line at questioning his sexuality!#also. serious moment for a second#I think we focus a lot on moments of queer discovery stemming from attraction to the same sex#like that being the moment of panicked “oh no I'm different”. Which makes sense and is valid!#But I think it's also compelling to explore the opposite but similar twist in your gut that is:#oh my god I don't feel anything in this situation where others do. oh no something something is wrong with me#and this is something that gay and lesbian people have in common with ace and aro people!#I feel such tenderness and kinship to everyone who has been in that situation#and it's why i will never understand why aspec folks are pitted against gay or lesbian representation#we are drawn to the same characters bc we had such similar experiences and isn't that lovely that we can find solace in media?#so NO FIGHTING. We should all be BEST FRIENDS. my brothers in arms. I'd die for you.#all that is to SAY: I personally read edgeworth as asexual and like demiromantic/gay.#but YOU can read him as just gay in this comic if you want <3#Also. i just thought it would be funny if it took a lesbian to make him realize he didn't like women#I think he would have no clue how to react to chappell roan. Same vibe as giving a victorian orphan a baja blast and a crunchwrap supreme#ok sorry shutting up now#ace attorney#ace attorney comic#ace attorney trilogy#gyakuten saiban#phoenix wright#naruhodo ryuichi#miles edgeworth#mitsurugi reiji#maya fey#ayasato mayoi#my art
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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