#which isn't a lot and i intend to up that number

[koddlet]

lay my weary head against your bones

[jonathanrogersartist]

How 'The Acolyte' Disappointed Me, and Why the Themes of 'Star Wars' Matter

Someone recently commented on my 'On the Dark Side, the Jedi and the Moral Decay of Star Wars' essay with these words: 

"A lot of words for saying 'I don't like the newer media, but I won't get into specifics as to why.'"

Okay! I shall then finally clarify those specifics....

That first essay has, so far, been my biggest success on this blog, and it's attracted a number of interesting responses. Full disclosure: I wrote that fresh off the heels of feeling depressed over how the Acolyte ended, and after reading/listening to several of Leslye Headland's interviews, where she went into great detail about her ideas behind the show's choices, the themes she's trying to get across, and what personal baggage she brings to Star Wars. 

Why was I depressed?

Because the show's finale ended with the deeply problematic implication that Osha, by killing Sol and joining Qimir, has achieved true self-actualization. As Leslye herself put it, it's a 'positive corruption arc.' Interesting way to phrase it. 

Furthermore, Vernestra's actions that frame Sol for several murders, all to protect her own reputation, and to avoid oversight by the Senate, confirmed one of the things that I was really worried this show would do as soon as we began learning plot details, which is that it's leaning into this very persistent edgelord take that the Jedi are actually big ol' bastards not worth seeing as heroes. 

It's the Dave Filoni gospel of the Jedi Order as a morally broken and fundamentally hypocritical institution, a decaying monument to religious hubris, who brought about their own destruction with their arrogance and so-called rejection of emotion making them lack empathy. 

This is, as many of my followers know already, a giant misreading of George's storyline in the prequels, and what he was actually telling us about the Jedi's philosophy and code. And in my experience, it gets us some vicious pushback when we try to inform fans of it, even if we back it up with proof of George's words. 

George really did intend the Jedi to be the ultimate example of what a brave, wise, and all-loving hero should be, and are very specifically inspired by Buddhist monks. They do not 'repress emotions': they learn to regulate their emotions, so as to not let the negative ones feed the Dark Side, and they have the moral fortitude to focus on their spiritual duty. They're professionals that have dedicated themselves to a higher calling, and who still feel and display the same emotions we all feel, unless I watched very different movies from everyone else. We see that Jedi characters can still crack jokes, cry when they are sad, become scared or anxious, feel strong love and loyalty to their peers, and can even be righteously angry in some situations BUT always knowing when to pull back.

The Jedi of the prequels were victims of manipulation by Palpatine, and were caught in between a rock-and-a-hard-place with the Clone War, and they were ultimately destroyed not by their own actions, but by the treachery of Anakin Skywalker, who failed to overcome his own flaws because he refused to really follow the Jedi teachings, and was gaslit by Palpatine for decades on top of that. 

Leslye's take on Star Wars, based on how she wrote the story of the Acolyte, is that "yup, the Jedi were doomed to destroy themselves by being hypocritical and tone-deaf space cops," and she also outright compared them to the Catholic Church (this reeks of Western bias and misunderstanding of Eastern religions). The one that really stunned me, was when she said she designed Qimir to be her own mouthpiece for the experience of being queer and suppressed, who isn't allowed to just be her authentic self in a restrictive world. Which, to me, implies that Leslye wanted to depict the Dark Side as actually a misunderstood path to self-actualization that the Jedi, in keeping with their dogma of repressing emotions, only smear as 'evil.' 

Let me remind you all: Qimir is officially referred to as a Sith Lord, by Manny Jacinto, by Leslye, etc. And what are the Sith, exactly? 

Space fascists. Intergalactic superpowered terrorists. Dark wizard Nazi-coded wannabe dictators, whose ideology is of might-makes-right, survival of the fittest, and the pursuit of power for power's sake. To depict followers of this creed as an analogy for marginalized people who have literally been targeted and murdered throughout history BY the real-life inspirations for the Sith.... I find revolting and tone-deaf by Leslye. 

SO.... seeing how that show ended, and reading up on how Leslye intended it to be interpreted (Osha's 'triumph' over the 'toxic paternalism' of Sol/the Jedi in general), really put me in a funk, because deep down, I could just sense that this was not at all compatible with the ethos of Star Wars. It made me go on a deep-dive into the BTS of the writing of the prequels and George's ideas about the Jedi, and it's how I discovered the truth that Dave Filoni has been pretty egregiously misrepresenting George's themes for several years now, usurping George's words with his own personal fanfic about the motivations of characters like Anakin, or Qui-Gon, or the Jedi Council, etc. 

His influence on the franchise has caused this completely baseless take on the Jedi to become so widespread as to rewrite history for modern fans. Who are utterly convinced now that this anti-Jedi messaging WAS George's vision all along, and they get real mad at you if you show them actual proof of that being a lie. 

And the Acolyte is perpetuating this twisting of the very core of Star Wars. This is what I meant by the 'moral decay of Star Wars.' 

The Star Wars saga was made by George Lucas in 1977 to accomplish these specific tasks: 

To remind people of what it really means to be good.

What evil actually looks like, and how it comes from our fears and greed.

To teach kids how to grow up and choose the right path that will make them loving, brave, honest people that stand up to tyrants.

To give the world a story that returns to classic mythological motifs and is fundamentally idealistic, to defy the uptick in cynical and nihilistic storytelling after the scandals of Vietnam and Watergate broke Americans' belief in there being such a thing as actual heroes anymore. 

THAT is the soul of Star Wars. That is what George meant for this remarkably creative universe to say with its storytelling. But I sincerely think that what the Acolyte told, was that morality is relative, the heroes of this saga are actually bastards, the fascist death-cult is misunderstood, and a young woman being gaslit into joining said death-cult is a triumphant girlboss moment. When it actually comes across as the tragedy of a broken person choosing the wrong path that will only make her miserable, full of hatred and powerlust, and hurt innocent people along the way. 

The Acolyte betrayed one of George's most critical lessons: that the Dark Side ruins people, and if you want to truly become your best self, you must choose the path of Light, and the Jedi are the ones who have best mastered that path. So if the future of Star Wars is to continue framing the Jedi and their teachings as some corrupt and immoral system that is making the galaxy worse, then I would rather stick to rewatching the classic scripture of Episode 1-6. George wrote a complete and satisfying story, that is thematically consistent, and in my opinion should have been allowed to rest. 

I will not hate on new fans that love the new material, but I will pity them if they really think any of this is actually faithful to George's vision (they may very well simply not care, either, which troubles me too), and I am afraid of a show like Acolyte teaching young people to see the Jedi's philosophy as wrong, and the Sith as having a point. 

(P.S. I have a moral duty to clarify this, given the discourse around the show: No, this is not a problem with 'wokeness,' or diversity, or representation; that side of the fandom is very sick in the head and not to be taken seriously. 

It's a problem with Leslye's themes and tastes as a storyteller, being fundamentally against the ethos of Star Wars and how it soured the entire show in hindsight for me... a show that I was actually really liking, before the finale dropped its thematic nuke.)

[miku-earth]

miku.earth update: September 15

Hi all! This is a lil progress update for those interested. In a rush? Here's the cliff notes!

The map site at miku.earth is back: sorry for the delay in fixing it! Check it out: it has six hundred Mikus!

Including the hyuge ol' queue, we've collected over 3,100 mikus!

Representation is important! I've been using some fancy stats to avoid bias. To that end, please help make sure we have a Miku in every African country!

oh hey! you clicked 'keep reading!' well hi! here is your Miku Direct. . The map site, miku.earth, is back!

I ran into a kinda complex issue and it was a whole Thing. I was working on the site the whole time though! Sorry for the delay, and I hope you enjoy now it's back up and running.

This site has six hundred Mikus on the map, and more are added each week. It was recently rebuilt from scratch (fun fact! I am not a web developer) so I hope it is far zippier and less glitchy as before. A mobile-friendly version is coming soon too!

Also: check out the new search feature! In addition to the title, artist name and region(s), it can also search for the categories indigenous and historic!

cw: this video involves moving around a 2D map with some speed. on the site itself site, this only happens when you hit the Enter key.

We've reached more than 3,100 mikus!

Even at its Miku-per-hour speed, the queue will continue until 2025 at least! This is with thanks to an incredible number of contributions, including donations of literal thousands of links.

Thank you so much to @awnowimsad, @worldmikuposter @the-hatsune-miku-trend, @communist-hatsunemiku, @council-of-beetroot, L-A and a whole host of DMers and emailers for helping get this far.

Oh and by the way: over two thirds of the collection are tumblr posts! Given that this was originally a twitter trend… if you know any Twitter users who are into this trend, please reach out. Some napkin math tells me there are at least 10,000 works of art total out there, which is, by the way, surreal. Let's make sure not a single one is lost.

If you're super curious, the collection is public! I have some tools to auto-annotate (I do not want RSI), but be aware the backlog isn't vetted.

Representation is important!

Fun as this trend is, this project was always intended as a serious study into how people represent their own culture through artwork. I'm no anthropologist, but I feel it is important to make sure this collection is respectful and bias-free. If we're to represent the world, we have to avoid underrepresentation!

To that end I've used some fancy statistics to calculate a "representation value" for each country. Here's a table if you're into the stats of it! This info is handy to help me with the queue – especially with tweets as they're a lil more effort than a carefully-tagged reblog. Of course, Indigenous, hyperspecific and low-note Mikus get priority.

And, well, of course you can see on the site there are purple regions for countries still missing a Miku. In particular, please help me make sure every country in Africa is represented.

Thank you for reading!

Phew! That was a lot. If you're still curious, please check the behind-the-scenes and source code. I work in the open! Even if my code is probably messy.

And if you're a programmer, issues and pull requests are welcome! This is actually a static site, so it's purdy easy to develop.

[lady-ace]

Scp x Captain Marvel

(Why? Because i am going feral for this idea. I am crawling up the walls. Foaming at the mouth. If i could write fics, THIS would be the one, but since i can't, i'll just write this long idea)

Billy (in cap form) is sent into a portal when fighting an magical villain who was attacking Fawcett. The portal leads him to another dimension, where he lands on a populated area. Phones are drawn, videos are taken.

Billy gets nervous. Where was he? Why are people recording him? This for sure isn't Fawcett or anywhere near, judging by their amazed and scared faces.

Billy flies down to the crowd to try and reassure them that everything's fine, but as he lands, the crowd scatters away. Billy didn't think it would be nice to follow them, so he left it at that and flew off, exploring this small city he ended up in.

After a good while of just flying around, he decides enough's enough and goes down to a place he deemed "safe" and de-transforms back to his human form.

What Billy didn't see was a camera on the other side of the road, that saw what looked like an flying man land on an alley, and proceeding to be struck by lighting after yelling 'SHAZAM!' (that surged out of nowhere in broad daylight and in a clear sky), after which a small child comes out of said alley, no sign if the man was ever present.

The SCP foudation executives catch wind of this "Flying man" and quickly get up to capture him, seeing the videos circulating around Social media (and deleting them, not to cause more panic) to locate where exactly it is.

They narrow it down to a small city and dispatch a MTF squad to find the child, now nicknamed SCP-6514-1, contain it, and bring it back to the foundation for further inspection.

As nightfall came, Billy was searching a place where he could sleep safely. This new world didn't seem to have heroes (or, as far as he'd seen) but crime might still be big.

When he left yet another building he thought was safe (an abandoned parking lot didn't seem that welcoming if it rained), he heard footsteps. Multiple footsteps, loud against the pavement.

Billy heart started beating faster, but before he could even think of looking back, an dart shot out from behind him, hitting his arm. Billy instantly felt different- sleepy, drowzy, just, not good, as various masked and armed people came out of his surroundings and picked him up, leading to some sort of car or van (Billy couldn't really tell, he was too busy trying to keep awake.)

When he woke up, he was muzzled. It was not tight enough to hurt, but tight enough he couldn't let a single word out.

He scratched at it to try to get it off to no avail, and just as he was about to give up, the door to the room he was trapped in opened, with the same men who captured him escorting him back to another room- this one being fully white, and being separated by some kind of reinforced glass. He was brought to to one side of the room, and another person awaited on the other side. A nametag on his lab coat reads “Dr. Peter S.”

Dr. Peter: “Hello, SCP-6514-1.”

The man said, getting a note book and a pencil and giving it to Billy,

Dr. Peter: “We would like if you'd answer some of our questions. We assure you, you won't be harmed in any way unless you attack us first and we see the need of self-defense.”

Billy: “...”

Dr. Peter: “I'll take that as an 'yes'. Now, what are your powers?”

Billy, writing down in his note book: “Why would i tell you? You just kidnapped me!”

Dr. Peter: “Well, you see, you are an anomaly. You came out of nowhere, causing mass panic, demonstrating supernatural powers above any normal human's. Could you see how that's a cause for concern, 6514?”

Billy, a bit annoyed at the nickname: “I can see how that would be weird, but not weird enough to kidnap me over! And what's with the numbers?”

Dr. Peter: “The numbers are simply for identitication's sake. And for any intends and purposes, you could pose a threat to humanity, so i find it's enough to capture you over.”

Billy: “Threat to humanity? But i'm just a normal boy!”

Dr. Peter: “How come?”

Billy: “i'm the Whiz kid! I work for the radio!”

Dr. Peter, writing this all down: “Uh huh. I see how you can be an 'normal child', but what about 6514-2, your flying-thunder summoning counterpart?”

Billy, frozen at the mention of marvel: “..I don't know what you're talking about.”

Dr. Peter: “6514, we saw it. It's why we captured you. There's no need to try and say you don't know.”

Billy, with a defeated look: “That's Captain Marvel. A superhero.”

Dr. Peter, with an eyebrow raised, obviously doubting it, yet still writing it down: “Uh huh..? And what exactly does he do?”

Billy: “i save people. I defeat villains. It's what heroes do, isn't it?”

Dr. Peter: “Yeah, i'd think so. But tell me, what is a child like you doing as an superhero? Shouldn't you be at school?”

Billy, writing something and scribbling over it trying to find the right words: “I can't go to school.”

Dr. Peter: “Okay. Well, where did you live, then?”

Billy: “I lived in Fawcett city. You know, the magic one?”

Dr. Peter, writing down stuff: “i never heard of it, and i'm pretty sure there aren't magic cities.”

Billy, a bit upset: “Look, i was just fighting a villain and a portal i accidentaly fell into put me here! I just wanna go home!”

Dr. Peter: “And home is Fawcett?”

Billy: “No, no! Away from here, anywhere but here! I don't want to be here, everyone should be so worried! And i'll not be there for the people i swore to protect!”

Dr. Peter, with a small worried look, collects all his stuff and gets up, looking at the MTF guards on stand by: “I think we've done enough today. Bring 6514-1 back, he's too emotionally charged right now. Besides, we've already got a lot of information.”

As he heads out to leave, Billy knocks on the glass and puts up the notebook.

Billy: “Could i keep the notebook?”

Dr. Peter, thinking it over, since it is a small decision but if anything goes haywire he would be to blame: “hmm.. okay.”

/////

Billy curls up in the first cell he was brought back to, thinking about ways to escape and if the justice league will be able to find him.

“Stupid portal.. making me go to some weird place i don't know..”

Billy thinks, as he draws in the small note book and glares at the camera and it's blinking red dot.

Suddenly, the lights go out in his room. Was it night?

Oh well.

He hopes tomorrow the league will already be here. He misses Mary and Freddy.

[kookslastbutton]

Love's Remedy ༓ jjk (m) l ch. II

✑ Summary: Jungkook is a romantic. He comes from a highly intelligent family who wants him to carry out the lineage. Being this way, he goes to college to be a pharmacist but his friends say college isn't just about studying! With a little persuasion, he goes to his first frat party thinking his hat will help him pick up a girl-or woman he means.

Pairing: STEM major!virgin!jungkook x STEM major!hot girl!reader

AU/genre: angst, smut, fluff, s2l, college au, mini-series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 2,783

Warnings: angry koo, jealous koo, gym rat koo, thicc thighs koo, protective koo, kook checks his abs out, koo gets in a physical fight with an aggressive jerk that involves punching, name-calling (half pint, hermit crab, b*tch, Bambi, honeysuckle, kookie), mention of blood (minor), jk is very cute and determined towards oc, oc has philophobia (fear of relationships), oc has poor self-esteem, cussing, bit of crying...sorry lot of warnings this chapter

Now Playing: seven, summertime sadness, she’s kerosene, angels like you+

A/N: Yes, I'm aware this chapter is short, still Jungkook is shirtless in half of this and I am not sorry. This chapter also gets heavy but I hope you enjoy! 💞

<< ch. I ༓ ch. II >> | series masterlist

A week passes since the frat party and Jungkook hears nothing from you. He's reluctant to accept that you've likely already deleted his number but why else would you be radio silent? Why would someone like you ever be interested in a shy little nerd like him?

He's disappointed but when he gave you his number, it's not like he was expecting anything in return.

Well, he can’t stay hung up on you forever—he'll give you one more week. In the meantime, it’s 5 p.m and he’s off to do his daily lifting at the gym. He read somewhere online that evening is better for building strength, and that is exactly what he intends to do.

With a basic black tank top and gym shorts on, Jungkook scans the expanse of the facility. The place isn’t too crowded being that it’s nearly dinner time but it’s still moderate. He’s hoping Jackson will join him soon, considering they’re buddies now because isn’t that what guy friends do? Workout together?

When he makes his way to the weight room he quickly finds it's packed with guys double his size. Half of them look like they're upperclassmen while the other half is split between first-years like him and a small handful of women. He sheepishly strolls over to an empty pull-up bar, deciding to start with chin lifts.

Jungkook sets his water bottle on the ground, reaches for the handle, and lifts his body up until his chin is level with the bar, legs swing in the air slightly. He then extends his arms back out. The burn in his biceps feels good. He repeats the motion a few more times but has to stop when he hits six.

He takes a big swig of his water, already sweating evident from the tank top sticking to his back. The coolness of the water helps but between his own sweat and the sweat of others around him, Jungkook is tempted to throw his shirt off. Most of the men in the room aren’t wearing any more than shorts anyway so why can’t he?

Jungkook grasps the edges of his tank, pulling it up a little. How did his abs look? Were they good enough to show off? He’s working out diligently since 14 but he was still on the smaller side compared to the rest of his peers.

The mirror to his left helps him get a better look so he shifts his body over. When he does he catches a slight glimpse of a familiar face in the top right corner. Jungkook instantly drops his shirt, whipping his head around.

What were you doing in the weight room? And with some buff guy twice his size closely behind you? All he’s doing is staring at your ass in those tight purple shorts which so happens to have a matching crop top.

Jungkook scowls at the sight.

When you take a seat at one of the bench presses a couple of feet away, his eyes widen. The guy you came with stands behind your head as you lean back. He helps you set the barbell. It’s too far for Jungkook to hear what he’s telling you but he’s convinced it’s nothing good. Whoever this guy is he won’t stop grinning, and you’re grinning back!

You said you don’t do relationships. You said you'd think about going out with him. You said a lot of things but here you are with some guy that looks an awful lot like a boyfriend, how disgusting…

Fuck it.

Jungkook turns his eyes away from you, yanks his tank off, and grabs the pull-up bar again. He’s gonna knock ten of these out in one set.

Shoulder-width apart, he keeps a steady pace though he makes sure to take deep breaths to prolong his stamina. His eyes fixate on the back wall of the weight room to avoid you and your supposedly new boo from getting in his head.

Apparently, you just didn’t want him. It’s fine. Jungkook exhales. It’s all fine.

After three sets of chin-ups, Jungkook releases himself from the bar to check his phone. He takes another glug of his water too.

Jackson: hey Kook, I was planning to join you at the gym today but I got my family in town tonight. Man, it’s only been a week….can you believe they’re here to visit already?

Jungkook: Wow, all I’ve gotten from my family is a short text saying good luck. They must miss you a lot but yeah, it’s no problem. We can work out another time?

Jackson: You got it bro. Thank you for understanding 🙏🏼 Also, there’s a second thing 😬

Jungkook: ??

Jackson: I might have told my parents about you so are you free to get lunch with us tomorrow? My parents want to meet you. Our treat.

Jungkook: Really? Okay yeah. I’d love to meet them. Time?

Jackson: We don’t know yet but likely 1pm if that’s okay?

Jungkook: Sure, I’ll just be studying so. Text me when you know.

Jackson: I will. How’s the gym?

Jungkook hovers his thumbs over the keyboard. When he glances up to think, he’s reminded of your lingering presence. You’re no longer bench pressing anymore but instead doing a set of bent-over dumbbell rolls. With the way you’re torso’s angled, anyone who’s anyone has a direct view of your rear end. Any decent person would pay it no mind but that same douchebag next to you keeps gawking.

“It’s not meant to be a fucking sex position,” Jungkook mutters and types out a response. “Fucker.”

He makes his way to the black punching bag on the other side of the room, passing a strong glare at that young man as he nears the two of you. He doesn’t know his name but he’d really like to go over there and knee him in the balls. His eyes flicker at you for a moment, so pretty.

“The hell are you staring at my girl for half-pint?” The man calls Jungkook out in an aggressive stance. “Keep your eyes in front before I fuck you up.”

Frazzled, Jungkook scurries to move past the both of you with his head down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything.” He doesn’t get three steps before a solid form blocks his path.

“Who are you apologizing to? Your feet? Look me in the damn eye when you talk to me.”

“Jun-ho stop,” you come up beside the man, tugging at his arm. He yanks himself out of the grasp, however, jolting your body back. You nearly lose your balance.

“I’m just trying to teach this little hermit crab what happens when you stare at another man’s woman, baby.”

Jungkook clenches his fists as you struggle to re-stabilize yourself. You should not be with this asshole. He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t deserve to be calling you his baby. Who the fuck does he think he is shoving a woman like that.

“Don’t fucking call me that,” you spit. “I’m not your woman. Now leave Jungkook alone. He doesn’t need this.”

Jun-ho gives you a cocky smirk. “Oh? So he’s Jungkook huh? You know him too. You fucking him behind my back or something?” He takes a step towards you. Jungkook lunges forward seeing your obvious discomfort.

“Don’t touch her!” Jungkook stands between you and Jun-ho. He’s shaking so badly but he doesn’t budge. “Take another step and I’ll–I’ll–“

“You’ll pound me in the ground? You and what army? You can’t even talk.” He snorts and moves to toss Jungkook to the side. “Get out of my way.”

Jungkook feels the back of his neck heat with rage, his ears red and burning. There’s no way in hell he’s letting Jun-ho get to you.

“She told you to stop, so why don’t you just–fuck off!” Jungkook shoves Jun-ho back with as much force as he can. His body’s not built and his arm muscles aren’t as ripped but he’s got some big fucking thighs that manage to anchor him to the ground.

“You shit.” Jun-ho grits his teeth and punches Jungkook straight in the gut. Jungkook doubles over in agony. His hand clutches over his abdomen as he groans. You hurry in front of him but you’re thrown to the side by a pair of large hands. “Move bitch,” Jun-ho snaps, eyes bolstered on the smaller man.

“Hey, what the hell is going on over here?” The manager of the gym rushes over to the three of you. He grabs Jungkook and offers him support. “You can’t be doing this young man. You need to leave now.”

Jun-ho shakes his head. “Count yourself lucky this time Jungkook. Could have been a lot worse if it weren’t for this old man getting in the way.” He stares at the manager and then at you. “Come on __.”

“You’re fucking nuts if you think I’m coming with you. I’m staying with Jungkook.”

“No, you’re fucking not.” Jun-ho reaches for your arm until his head is knocked backward by a clean, punch to his jaw. “Fuck! You Fuck!” He holds his jaw, stumbling into a rack of dumbbells behind him.

Jungkook’s knuckles bleed as he holds his own wrist. He winces at the sharp throbbing and stinging from the punch. “Okay no more, no more,” the manager anxiously darts his eyes back and forth between him and Jun-ho. “I want you all out of my facility this instance.”

After being thrown out of the gym, Jungkook returns to his dorm room. He insists he takes care of his injury himself but it doesn’t sit well with you so you follow him.

“I’m so sorry about this Jungkook. Jun-ho’s a bastard.” You finish wrapping his knuckles in the elastic bandage then lean forward to place your hands on his shoulders. “Promise me you won’t ever do that again.”

Jungkook holds your pleading stare from his seated position. Your soft hands are simultaneously soothing and unsettling. He’s not mad at you for what happened at all. But seeing you with a jerk like Jun-ho when you rejected him, someone who’d never treat his girl like a piece of trash causes all kinds of knots inside him.

“You’re not going to see him again right? Because I can’t make that promise if you do.” His voice is low, nervous that you'll say yes.

Jungkook might not have personal relationship experience but he's witnessed his share of unhealthy relationship dynamics more times he'd like to count.

“Jungkook…” You muster up the best reassuring smile you can and tuck a few loose strands of his hair behind his ear. “Nothing's going to happen between me and Jun-ho anymore. We weren't anything serious. But you care too much about me, I’m not worth the trouble.”

Hearing this, he reaches a hand up to close over yours. “Please don’t say that. Everyone deserves to be cared for and as long as I can help it, I’ll be the first to do it.” His big, doting eyes search into yours. "And good, don't go back to him __. He's not the type of man you need."

"And what type of man do I need Bambi?" You stroke his puffy cheeks and quirk your head to the side inquisitively. Jungkook flinches at the touch.

"Bambi?"

"You didn't like it when I called you baby so, had to come up with something else."

"But." There's that pout again. Jungkook doesn't like being called a baby but when someone reaching this level of adorable, its so hard to shake. "But I just knocked a bitch out for you. How can you keep calling me baby names?"

The chuckle that leaves your lips is heaven to Jungkook's ears. "Aww Jungkook," you coo. "It's 'cause you're a little honeysuckle. So sweet to the taste." His ears perk up at that, gnawing on his bottom lip. "But if you want me to call you something else that might take some more time for me to figure out. Until then do tell me, what do I need?"

"Someone that'll protect you."

"Mhm, okay but—"

"Emotionally, physically, and mentally." Jungkook lists out loud. "That means someone to stand up for you, support you in the ways you need. Someone to help keep losers like Jun-ho out who only look out for themselves." He pauses, contemplating thoughtfully. "You need someone you can trust too. When you're sick you'll be taken care of and he'll never ever cheat on you. Even if you fight, he'll always stick by your side. You'll watch movies together, cuddle under the covers, and stargaze on summer nights. He'll also peel perilla leaves for you and love you until sunrise. Finally, when the time's right he'll ask to marry you, only if you want, of course."

Jungkook waits for you to give him a reply, a little breathless. He notices the distance between you and him somehow got larger. You're now about two feet away from him when you were only mere inches before.

"I'm sorry." He lowers his head. "It's silly I know. Everyone tells me I'm some kind of dreamer boy, just a hopeless romantic."

"It's not silly Jungkook." You soften your expression. "It's a beautiful idea and somewhere out there will gladly share those things with you. You'll live a full life together having all those wonderful experiences."

"Wanna have them with you though." His eyes flicker up at you. "I really like you __."

Oh no, no no no. You push down the pressure building from inside you. "No, I can't. I'm sorry Bambi, I want to but you don't know me." A small tear spills out of the corner of your eye. "I'm not able to....I can't love you like that."

Jungkook gets up from his chair and reaches for your trembling hand. You're tempted to pull back if it weren't for the fact that your hand feels warm in his.

"I can," he says. "I can love you if you let me."

You shake your head, and another hot tear rolls down your face. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm even crying." You quickly wipe your wet cheeks.

"You don't always need a reason. Sometimes it just happens and that's okay. I cry all the time when I'm by myself." Jungkook grabs your other hand slowly. "Just wanna be here for you."

You blink back the remaining tears welling in your eyes. You're embarrassed this is happening at all. Jungkook is the sweetest, most kind-hearted, and most selfless person you know. He shouldn't have to be dealing with any of this.

"If we can't go out, is it okay that we are friends?"

"I don't want to do that to you Kookie."

"Hey, I like that one," he says with a lifted voice.

"You do? I didn't even think about it like the others."

"You were thinking about me?" He bounces in the air a little, at least that's what it looks like to you by the sudden rush of energy Jungkook responds with. He likes knowing you've been paying attention to him, even if only a smidge.

You dart your eyes past him, fingers curling in his hand. "Well I mean..." Jungkook waits intently. "I guess...yes, some."

"Oh please __, please let me take you out. We don't even have to call it a date."

"You're too persistent, you know that?"

"But is it working?"

"I'm not ready yet Jungkook." His shoulders slouch and he opens his mouth to say something though you continue before he can get anything out. "To give you an answer. I'm not ready to give you an answer yet is what I'm trying to say."

"Well, that's okay. You wanna think about it longer? We can four years until graduation."

"You're such a goof, you'd wait that long for an answer?"

Jungkook shakes his head. "No, I'd wait that long for you." He pauses. "Okay maybe I have been watching one too many Korean dramas. Even I threw up in my mouth a little."

Too both share a laugh, this is the weirdest, emotionally exhausting day ever. "Thank you for what you did today with Jung-ho. And for trying to comfort me. Will you possibly be able to wait another week? If it's too long you can tell me. I've made you wait long enough."

"A week from now, let's meet up okay? Or call at least. Even if it's a no, I don't want this to be the last time I get to see or hear you."

"Okay." You nod. "I promise."

And that was the end of that night, as Jungkook walks you to your dorm soon after. It was getting dark out after all.

A/N: tysm for reading! Lmk what you think and if you wan to be tagged comment/ask 💞

Masterlist

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@hoseokteardrop

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

Ask Masterpost 10/12/2024

I will be answering all the BLOG RELATED asks I have received since opening my inbox here :). Going forward, this is how all asks will be answered (if they are not time dependent or something). I will make a new post with new asks every saturday.

my friends and i have been including youtube links in our submissions. is that helpful or annoying?

It's helpful! Thank you :)

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Have you gotten a lot of repeat submissions? Like, songs requested by multiple people? If so, what’s the most requests you’ve gotten for a single song? (You don’t need to say what song it is if it’s one you haven’t posted yet)

I don't remember the name, but I've received a song from 'In Stars and Time' about seven times now

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I submitted a song from an indie game listing the author as the composer, but then I realised that's not exactly true, as all the music in the game is from a public free gallery. because of that, there's no official upload on youtube. would that still be ok? p.s. thank you for your work, I've come to really love this blog and i look forward to the new polls every day 💕

I'm going to say no, even though the song is in a video game it's not technically intended for the video game itself. I'm curious as to what game this is though.

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@kaerran said: Speaking of which: I avoided submitting a game earlier because the only versions I found on a quick search were entire-soundtrack-as-one-video and I wanted to make things easier on you. Is it okay if I submit my mid-90s games even if they don't have nice convenient Youtube links?

Of course that's okay, I'll find a way to work around it even if I have to crop the specific song out myself.

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Say a song that's made for a game and is in said game gets an official release of an alternative version that *isn't* in a game. (Ex: an extended version or a version with vocals) I assume that the in-game version of the song is acceptable, while an alternative version that isn't in any games are not. Asking because I've already submitted a couple in-game versions of songs that have official extended/vocal versions that aren't in-game.

Both are acceptable, for two reasons:

It's an official, original release/remix, presumably on an official album, for a video game, so it is technically a form of VGM even if it's not in the video game itself

I wouldn't be allowed to post the official NieR remix albums if I excluded these types of songs

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@moonlight-fox said: Hey. Question for when you reopen submissions - For songs that have lyrics, do you want the name of the lead vocalist as well as the composer, or just the composer?

If you know both, feel free to include both! Specifying would help a ton as well. Submitting the artists is optional as I'll almost always go verify it myself but it is very much appreciated.

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are there any games with more notable soundtracks that you're surprised HAVEN'T been submitted yet (if any)?

As of writing this, I haven't seen a single song from Persona 5.

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Hi, love the blog! Is there any way you could tag similar series? Like, tagging all the soulsborne games with a from software tag, that sort of thing? If not, it’s cool, I would just find it useful. Have a great day, keep up the awesome work! <3

I started doing this when I saw this ask, I hope the way I've categorized things is good so far! If anyone has any suggestions for further categorization feel free to send them in my asks (within reason, lol)

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can you put the number of the song in the anonymized title? would help us keep track of which song we're listening to if we're also scrolling

I also started doing this as soon as I saw this ask, thank you for the excellent idea.

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Are songs from live-service video games that have ended service permitted? I'm guessing that the answer is yes because I think I saw Dragalia Lost here but I just wanted to be sure before preparing songs to submit next month. Also, I noticed in your pinned post that it still says "submissions are always allowed" - since the rules are different now, you might wanna change that just in case some ppl get confused :3

Yes, songs from live service games that have ended are permitted :) (provided I can access the songs somehow of course)

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are we allowed to submit official live versions of video game songs? does its availability online matter (like how the splatoon concerts were officially uploaded, but the kirby 30th anniversary concert was only livestreamed once and has to be pirated now)?

If it's on an official album, I'm going to say yes. So no to the kirby concert -- but if the splatoon songs are on an album, they're allowed.

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i cant find if youve answered something like this already, but whats the verdict for songs thatare in video games, but werent made for them? like for example the inclusion of pre-existing low roar songs in death stranding.

As of now, I'll only accept songs that were intentionally made to be included in the OST/album/music of a video game series -- so no preexisting non-VGM songs or anything like that.

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out of interest, how far along the submission queue has been posted? when were the most recent posted songs submitted?

3.8% of the entire submissions I have received have been posted. Everything in active vote right now was submitted in July, hence the need to severely restrict submissions...

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are we allowed to ask if certain games/series are in the queue? because i cannot for the life of me remember if i submitted something a while ago and dont want to accidentally send it again when submissions reopen ^_^;

You can DM me for this as to not publicly post any spoilers :')

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@disgustedorite said: Um, when were the most recent songs submitted? I submitted a batch a while back when submissions were open and there's been no sign of any of them...I hope Tumblr didn't eat it @_@

Tumblr may have eaten it, but it's probably just as likely that I got a million gazillion submissions ahead of you :')

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genuine question did someone submit the entire destiny franchise at once or is it that popular and i just never see anything about it

Yes, in the very early days of this blog -- about the tenth submission -- someone submitted ~30 destiny songs.

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Do you accept music from mods? I mean, obviously you dont accept anything right now, but ykwim

Yes, as long as it's an original composition/remix :)

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@woolooism said: has any song won with any of the "i don't like it" results? if no, which one has the biggest relative percentage of it?

I'll have to check, but I think (off the top of my head) the song with the most "I don't like it" results is the Ao Oni chase theme

Edit: Apparently, it is actually this song from Lisa the Joyful!

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@violetsquare111 said: i'm curious, do you know when exactly the currently-running polls were submitted? curious just how far off mine are lol. (but i would guess mine are still a few months out based on the insane number of submissions you shared. 3000... oh god...)

July, so... yours are far off :')

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Do songs created for an event in a community engine driven rhythm game (i.e. original songs for custom charts in a rhythm game/community driven game engine) count for submissions? If so, how will they be counted?

I think I'm going to need an example of this scenario because this seems REALLY highly specific, haha

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A suggestion. When a song has lyrics, use a video that shows the lyrics in the reveal post. Please and thank you.

I'll do my best, but these aren't always the easiest to find, and I try to use songs from official sources as much as possible to prevent the risk of the video getting copyright stricken off the playlist.

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@only-blogging-2-save-rock-n-roll said: Would you ever consider doing joke polls for April fools day? Stuff like those MIDI remakes of song from Franchise A in the style of Franchise B

Probably not, only because it's not an official remix. I may post funny songs depending on submissions.

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would you be willing to maybe make a tag for just the polls, even if they're already over? i like going through them all without knowing what game they're from and i also dont keep super on top of checking this blog for new polls. thanks!!

There is one! It's #closed vote :)

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@sparrow-va said: Hi! I've had the hare-brained idea of possibly making some Youtube vids of listening to & reacting/trying to identify songs from this blog starting from the oldest submissions for my channel (LaserBearCat Gaming), is that something you'd be okay with? Obvs we would credit & link your blog for the source of the tracks c:

Go right ahead!

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I noticed the rules about submission has changed to one song per period per person, which I can totally understand given the amount and when trying to keep a fair chance for everyone will this rule be applied retrospectively too? just wondering because I had been submitting more than one song and just would like to know if I'd need to submit them again one per month now if I would like them to be considered as a submission eventually Also thanks for running this blog it's become one of my favourites and I check it out almost daily

No, It's not going to be applied retroactively -- I don't even know if I'd be able to enforce that because the sheet doesn't record who submitted what (right now).

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Helloo !! ^^ Its me again ahaha 🙈

Feeling you with the number of RQs ! (': i have a lot of unfinished ones too, and I FEEL SO JORRIVLE FOR SENDING ONE in knowing that💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭, but this has been in the forefront of my mind 😵‍💫. Please don't feel pressured to respond! 🫣 I won't blame you if you'd rather not to ���️🙌//

...

Yandere Outlaw, having abducted reader, not at all having had anticipated the strength of their connections.

While reader isn't necessarily strong themselves, they have a strong family, a line of uncles and brothers that are feared across the West for their brutality, their violence, and most notably, their loyalty. This is especially jarring given that reader is the youngest in the family, so of course they would be overprotective over them, as weren't they just the baby of the family, their sweet lil pumpkin?

It's why they are second only to Outlaw himself in terms of criminality, notorious instead, however for how they are willing to kill for blood feud, and to wreak havoc in a bid to avenge anyone that crossed the path of their family member(s).

Now picture this: having heard of reader's abduction, to describe their reaction as fury, rage, even wrath, would all be an understatement. They would be getting together, coordinating a plan, and intending to shoot the damn bastard dead, as scum like him should pay for messing with the wrooong criminals.

Now this brings me to my question: what would Outlaw's reaction be to waking up one day to see not a trace of their darling, their hostage rescued by their cowboy brothers and uncles? (Or something more creative than this,, ^^"" ", i doubt that theyd leave him with lungs and eyes, let alone ALIVE after locating his whereabouts and saving their sweet lil pumpkin, thw baby of the family. My imagination can only take me so far an idk 😓💔)

Would Outlaw go after each individual member of the family down, on a furious witch-hunt in a bid to rescue their darling? After all, Outlaw has been on countless raids riding solo with nothing aside from a horse and his trusty shotgun, became infamous for being the West's deadliest gunslinger, has eliminated the wealthiest businessmen and robbed them of all their money, and made a career out of being a criminal.

Or would he accept defeat? This is clearly not a family to mess with, and it was a miracle that they hadn't put his beheaded head on a stake and set it on fire, condemnimg his corpse. He'd have to be a fool to risk this, wouldn't he? Was reader, his darling, really worth that risk?

Would love to hear your thoughts ! ☺️💞

ALSO SORRU FOE THE REALLY LONG ASKS I FEEL SO BAD BC I GDT CARRIED AWAY JDJSJAJAJASSS 😭😭🙏 PLS FORGIVR ME AAAAAAARRHEHSS

My sweet Anon, we simply must find a name for you ! Your ideas cannot go without an identity to which we can attribute their creation ^^. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful mind with us <3 !

♡ This occurrence is very in-character for the Outlaw to encounter; albeit never on such an intimate level.

♡ He’s made enemies out of every criminal in the West – namely for resigning them to a life imprisoned while making off with his loot, gifting them a sentence he’d have served himself were he not so adept at the skill of escapism. In the early days when he first started working with other criminals, at least; he’d never make such a mistake now.

♡ You see, the Outlaw is the very definition of work smarter, not harder. So while he may seem as if he’s given up his pursual of you by hanging back, letting you go back to your family and re-integrate with civilised life, he’s tracking you. Watching you. Anticipating your every move.

♡ He’ll find you – eventually – but he won’t swoop in to retrieve you at the first opportunity; he knows that this will simply incur another rescue effort and his imminent execution.

♡ He’ll start to pick off the male authority figures in your family, starting with the weakest (however large and imposing they may be). 

♡ He knows that, without the leader, the pack will scatter, meaning that there will still be some of your family he missed during his executions – members who could still come looking for you upon discovering your kidnapping (again).

♡ Sure, picking off the weakest ones will put the strongest on-edge, but it keeps them packed together – around you – right where he wants them.

♡ The Outlaw knows of the Reader’s family’s reputation. He’s even met them during the occasional heist; opportunists by trade in their willingness to jump upon the corpse of the Outlaw’s victories as soon as his back is turned. But he also knows none are as keen and accurate a marksman as he, and he uses this to his advantage.

♡ While the Outlaw specialises in short-range firearms, he is more than capable with long-distance ones, too. And, once he lures your protectors away from you, he’ll ensure their execution is swift and unforeseen. He’ll perch atop a sturdy tree branch and steady himself, bringing the head of whoever fell for his diversion into the sights of a Whitworth he dusted off and brought from home.

♡ The minute he knows you’re all alone – that your uncles and brothers and cousins are too busy painting the town red with their bodies to stow you away – is when he’ll swoop in, plucking you out of bed and slinging you over his shoulder as he had all those months ago during your first meeting, winding you as he throws you atop his horse and bolting off into the horizon.

♡ So, to put it simply, Anon: yes. To the Outlaw, you are absolutely worth the effort.

Masterlist Yandere AI Masterlist Masterpost

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[ihatealimore]

Honey Whiskey

(word count: 2,135)

As Kurapika sits beside Leorio at the bar, he observes his friend chatting energetically while downing a mug of beer quickly. Occasionally, Leorio flashes a wink at the bartender or any woman who approaches the general vicinity of the bar.

Initially having no intention to drink himself, Kurapika finds his resolve wavering when Leorio brings up how (Y/N) would often join him for drinks. Perhaps indulging in one or two beverages wouldn't be such a bad idea after all...

"How's your drink, Kurapika? Do you like it?" Leorio prods him after finishing his beer and setting the glass back down on the bar.

Kurapika picks up the glass of whiskey his friend had ordered for him, examining the transparent liquid with an indifferent gaze. He takes a small sip, the drink burning down his throat and making his eyes water slightly, "It's strong."

Leorio easily became distracted by the bartender taking his empty glass and walking away. He turns in his chair to face Kurapika, hopefully asking, "Oh, do you think she would give me her number?"

The blonde-haired man casts a glance towards the bartender then back at Leorio who keeps trying to make flirty eye contact with her. He sighs lightly and takes another sip of his whiskey, "Leorio," He starts in his usual stern tone, "Your chances would be better if you behaved more maturely."

"You're so mean," Leorio pouts, crossing his arms petulantly, which was really only proving Kurapika's point, "Girls like me! I haven't gotten anyone's number yet but-"

Kurapika interrupts him with a smirk, "Failing to get any numbers isn't exactly convincing evidence in your favor, is it?" 

The alcohol was starting to loosen his normally iron grip on his composure.

"You'll see!" Leorio chugs down another mug of beer, earning a chuckle from his friend, "What about you and (Y/N)? What's going on there?"

Kurapika's laughter quickly fades at the mention of your name and his gaze drops to his own drink, "There's nothing going on," He responds stiffly, avoiding Leorio's teasing gaze.

"But she talks about you a lot and it seems like you guys spend a lot of time together," Leorio is quick to point out to him.

The Kurta takes a moment to process Leorio's words, his grey eyes flickering with surprise. He had never realized you talked about him outside of work, let alone 'a lot.' 

"She... Talks about me?" He questions slowly.

"Yeah, all the time!"

"Really?" Kurapika's eyebrows went up, a rare show of surprise on his normally impassive face. He takes another sip from his drink to hide the sudden flush on his cheeks.

As the night progresses, Kurapika indulges in a few more drinks, thinking he knows his limit. He was wrong. He finds himself thoroughly intoxicated, while Leorio roams the crowded bar, talking to anyone who will look his way.

A presence in the seat beside him and an all too familiar voice draws his attention, "Kurapika, I didn't expect to see you here."

He turns to see none other than (Y/N) smiling at him, your eyes twinkling with amusement, "(YN)," Kurapika greeted, a bit too enthusiastically and louder than he had intended.

His mind is swirling but he's able to recognize your voice instantly. How strange. He needs to regain control of himself before you realize how drunk he is.

"Leorio dragged you here, huh?" You remark with a chuckle, flagging down the bartender to order a drink, "Is that whiskey? I'm surprised."

Trying to regain some sense of control over his inebriated state, Kurapika responds a little more defensively than he meant to, "Leorio wanted company and... It's not bad."

"Let's agree to disagree. Whiskey is disgusting," You say as you take your own drink from the bartender, thanking them before taking a sip.

Despite his drunken state, Kurapika finds himself chuckling along, playfully stating, "Then I suppose it's a good thing I'm the one drinking it."

"We can agree on that. I figured you weren't much of a drinker," You muse with a teasing grin.

"I'm not... Usually," He admits as he lets his gaze drift towards you, "But it seems there's something about being around you and Leorio that encourages such behavior."

You can't help but let a laugh slip from your lips, "Mostly Leorio though, right?" You wonder as your eyes scan the bar, trying to spot him, "He wandered off and left you here, huh?"

Kurapika nods, more as a confirmation to himself than to you, "Yes, typical Leorio," He mutters with a faint smile on his lips.

"Very typical," You finally make eye contact with Leorio from across the bar, offering him a friendly wave.

A sudden, unexpected pang of jealousy flares up in Kurapika's chest. It's a new and confusing sensation that he quickly tries to dismiss, "(Y/N)," He finds himself blurting out without thinking, "I don't want you to look at Leorio."

He surprised himself with his burst of possessiveness. It seems the alcohol is revealing parts of him even he wasn't aware existed. But it also feels genuine. He wonders if this feeling has been hiding somewhere deep inside all along.

"Eh?" You tilt your head in confusion, your brow furrowed, "Why's that? Did he do something stupid?"

"No, it's just..." He hesitates before leaning in closer, his inebriated mind deciding to spill everything, "I want you here with me," He confesses, his eyes locked on yours.

Your eyes widen in surprise before a knowing smile forms on your lips, "Oh, I get it. You're drunk, aren't you?"

Caught off guard, he blinks at you a few times before laughing weakly. His face flushes more than it already was from the alcohol as he admits, "Hmm, maybe."

A chuckle escapes your lips at his hesitant admission, "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Neither did I," He replies, finding himself smiling back at you, "It's strange but not entirely unpleasant."

"It's cute, you know," You begin, "To see you act more open. And maybe even a little jealous?"

"Cute?" He echoes, his brows knitting together at the unfamiliar word. At your insinuation, his face turned a darker shade of pink, "I... Maybe."

No one has ever described him as cute before. And you noticed the jealousy too. Maybe it was more obvious than he thought.

"Don't worry," You reassure him, setting your hand on top of his, "You have my full attention."

He stares at your hand on his, his mind swimming in a heady mixture of alcohol and emotions. With a small nod, Kurapika responds softly yet sincerely, "Thank you, (Y/N)."

You take another sip of your drink, adding, "I'm all ears. We can talk about anything you would like."

He blinks at you, feeling a slight sobering effect from your words. He isn't sure why but he trusts you in this moment more than anyone else, "I want to talk about us."

Is this what people call 'liquid courage'?

"Us?" You contemplate, "What about us?"

"Well..." The Kurta begins, fumbling for words. His inebriated mind is struggling to find the right ones until he finally manages to say, "I suppose... How we feel about each other."

You're caught off guard by his words, speechless for a moment before nodding, "Sure, but are you okay to talk about this while drunk? I don't want you to say anything you'll regret."

"I... I think it's okay," He mutters, not quite trusting himself but feeling like he needs to say this, "I want you to know how much I appreciate your presence in my life."

Even if the words are slurred and uncertain, they come from a place deep within him, one that holds enormous respect and affection for you. It doesn't matter if it's alcohol-induced or not. These feelings are real.

You find yourself smiling at him reverently, the next words falling from your lips easily, "The feeling is mutual."

Hearing those words from you, Kurapika can't help but feel a sense of relief washing over him. He offers you an appreciative smile in return and whispers softly, "I'm glad," Watching you take another sip of your beverage, he bites his tongue in vain, unable to stop the next words from slipping out of his mouth, "(Y/N), I feel more than just appreciation for you. Much more."

"Much more?" You question him, echoing his confession. 

Kurapika takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the dizziness brought on by his sudden admission, "I think I might have feelings for you."

The words are out in the open now and there's no taking them back. As terrifying as it is, part of him feels relief, maybe because they were so long overdue.

Silence hangs in the air around him for a lingering moment until you look up from your drink, your eyes boring deeply into his, "I'm glad it's not just me then."

His heart pounds loudly in his chest as he digests your words. A smile slowly spreads across Kurapika's face, visible relief wrapping around him, "You feel the same?"

He never allowed himself to entertain this possibility but you have feelings for him too? It feels like a dream, too good to be true. Yet, it's real.

"Is that surprising?"

"A bit, yes," Kurapika admits, his honesty shining through even in his drunken state, "I didn't think someone like me could evoke such feelings."

You raise an eyebrow at his statement, wondering, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean... Someone who is so focused on their past, and vengeance, and," He pauses momentarily before murmuring, "Someone who doesn't know how to love or be loved."

He has always been aware of his shortcomings when it comes to emotional connections. But having them brought to the surface like this makes him feel vulnerable yet eager at the same time.

"But those things don't define you, Kurapika. I like you for who you are," You explain, setting your drink down to take both of his hands in yours, "You're intelligent, stubborn, annoyingly so sometimes. But most of all, you're caring and kind."

His heart warms at your words, a genuine smile tugging at his lips, "You really think so?"

"I know so. You're someone that means a lot to me," You confess, squeezing his hands gently while maintaining eye contact.

"And you..." Kurapika begins, his gaze softening, "You're strong, resilient. You have this knack for understanding people that's truly remarkable. Despite your own stubborn nature," He gives a small chuckle at the thought, "You are incredibly patient and kind-hearted."

"That's very sweet of you," You respond with a smile, feeling touched by his words.

"You're beautiful, (Y/N)," He adds hesitantly, his heart pounding in his chest, "Not just outwardly but your soul too. The way you handle situations with grace and understanding, the strength that shines through when times are tough. It's all incredibly captivating."

It feels both invigorating and terrifying to be this open about his feelings towards you. But seeing you smile at his words makes it all worth it. You've always been his pillar of support when things get tough, someone he deeply cares about.

"I like seeing this side of you," You muse softly, "Drunk Kurapika is a real sweet talker."

Kurapika gives an amused chuckle at this, nodding in acceptance, "Well, I can't promise this sweet-talking version of me will stick around once the effects wear off, but it's nice to know you aren't entirely opposed to it."

"Not at all," You reassure him, "Though I do wonder how much of this you'll remember in the morning."

Kurapika lets out a hushed sigh, raking his fingers through his blonde locks, "I'm not sure. But if I forget... Would you remind me of this conversation?"

"Of course, I will," You agree with a nod before teasing him with a small smirk, "If you weren't so drunk, I'd be inclined to kiss you."

Kurapika feels his heart skip a beat at your words. He blinks, stunned and somewhat hopeful as he responds weakly, "I am... Not that drunk."

Your suggestion brings an unexpected flutter in his stomach. A mix of excitement and nervousness floods over him at the thought that you might want to kiss him too, just like he has found himself wanting on multiple occasions since you and him started opening up about your emotions towards each other tonight.

You snort out a laugh, "Oh, is that so? Can you say your ABC's backwards?"

"Z, Y..." Kurapika begins before stopping and groaning. His mind is too clouded to think clearly enough for a complex task such as this, "You're asking the impossible, (Y/N)."

"That's adorable," You reach out to ruffle his hair playfully, "I appreciate your attempt."

He gives a wry smile at your comment, swatting your hand away gently from his hair, "You're enjoying this too much."

"How could I not?" You muse with a laugh, adding, "How about this? I'll owe sober Kurapika a kiss."

Kurapika heart flutters in his chest, "Then I'll make sure to remind you of your promise when I'm sober, (Y/N)."

Even in his increasingly intoxicated state, this one promise from you holds a significant importance for him. A vow that brings forth an exciting anticipation within his chest. Maybe drinking wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

[f4iry-bell]

WHO AM I? | 1

pairing: nerd grayson hawthorne x popular reader

warning: slightly angsty?? judgey grayson, dialogue heavy.

tagging: @unnoodles @nqds @alwaysthefangirl @clarissaweasley-10 @benny1989fredd @imaseabear @never-enough-novels @elysianwayy77 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @cassie6392

word count: 1.8k

a/n: ik i said pathetic grayson but I'll give you all pathetic grayson frfr in the next part where their romance start of catch up???? maybe a three part series!!!!

akso will make non linear parts of this series in the future!!!!

masterlist | part 2 | blurbs of this series

Grayson Hawthorne is not introverted or has social anxiety, he just hates people. He goes to college, takes notes, interacts with people if he must, study, ace the test, repeat. That was his routine, and he was not intending to change that. But today was quite different because his brothers called him a loser for being in Harvard and yet has not participated in anything fun, they made him sign a paper which says he will participate in at least one fun event which doesn't involve him getting extra credits. In his defense he was drunk when he signed the paper.

He was debating whether or not to go in and participate in the scavenger hunt, it is something that he would enjoy as well. So he decided to join the group. There were a few comments like ‘Woah, is that Grayson Hawthorne? Outside his books?’ but he ignored them and started to play the game.

He noticed someone who focused more on filming the whole thing with her phone than trying and okay the game. He sort of recognised her, she is in his business class. She is barely there in class, both physically and mentally but they do share a class together. She is one of those people who thinks college is just fun and time to live like you're in the movies kind of girl. He can tell with her flawless skin and hair that too long he wonders how she manages. She has this charismatic aura around her as she filmed herself and her friends. 

Grayson darted his eyes away from her and focused on solving the hints and moving to the next level.

He finished the scavenger hunt within 15 minutes and thought how stupid it was, a bunch of silly clues and silky hints that even a 4th grader can win this.

“Seriously, dude? You couldn't let others at least try and solve hints?” The girl asked.

Grayson’s heart skipped a beat which he ignored. “Try what? I reckon you were doing nothing but filming.”

“So?”

“Isn't the point of this game is to play and win?”

“No. It's fun and okay with friends which I  assume is a strange concept for you.” The girl rolled her eyes and went back to her phone texting someone.

“It is rude to be on your phone when you're talking to someone.” He pointed out.

“The conversation is over. Or are you not that smart enough to take a hint?” She spoke without looking up from her phone which only pissed him off.

“This attitude of yours will not get you anywhere.” He said.

The girl chuckled genuinely, finding it funny. “Good luck surviving college.” With that she walked away from him.

_

Grayson took it quite personal, it affected him a lot, she affected him a lot. What did she mean by “Good luck surviving college”? He has the perfect grades, the professors like him, the students are not up to his standards so he prefers to stay away from them, unless there's a group project. He will survive it better than her, with all that filming she's barely graduating.

During his business class the professor gave everyone a chit with a number in it, two people have the same number so they can pair up and work on a project. Grayson didn't open his chit yet. The girl from scavenger hunt stood up from her seat and adjusted her hair before she spoke out loud like social anxiety fears her.

“Alright, who is number 12?” She asked, looking around. Grayson shook his head and opened his chit and sighed. It says number 12.

He didn't want to raise his hand or tell her at all. He is going to have a talk with the professor to change his partner because he was sure that she won't be a good project partner.

“I would like to change my partner.” He told the professor as the class dismissed slowly.

“Why?”

“I don't think my partner will cooperate with me.” He told him.

“Well, you should try. Because there is changing here, Mr. Hawthorne.” The professor said. Grayson turned to see that she had already gone. It has only been a minute since the class ended.

It was not hard for him to find her in the crowd, he found her in the cafeteria during lunch. She was with other people who were just like her. On the phone 24/7, couldn't care about academics, rich, or popular. 

He stood behind her and spoke. “Excuse me.”

She looked back to him from her seat. “What?” She gave him a disgusting look.

He frowned in offense. “I’m number 12”

“Huh?”

“Your project partner.”

“Oh.” She slowly remembered what happened in business class and why he is here. “Oh…” The last oh sounded like disappointment and disgust.

“I would appreciate it if you start working your part soon and hand it to me by this weekend. I'll look over it. Then I'll finish the rest.” He told her.

“Excuse me?” 

“Is there a problem?”

“Yes. Its a group project, right? We should do it together.”

“We can split the work. It'll save time.” He prefer it that way.

“No.”

“What?”

“We shouldn't split the work.”

“Why not?” He asked.

Her friend chuckled and said “because she doesn't know what to do.”

“Shut up, Lily.” The girl scolded her friend.

“Do you or do you not know?” Grayson asked.

“I know, I just need someone to tell me what exactly we should do…and some notes of the previous classes.” She confessed.

Grayson sighed. “I'll give you my notes, meet me in the library after college.”

“Wait, I have a party to attend after college.” Her eyes widened.

“It's either this way or we split it. The choice is yours.”

She groaned. “Fine”

“Don't be late.”

_

“You're late.” Grayson pointed out.

“Whatever, let's start.” She said as she dragged a chair back and sat on it. She noticed the two files sitting on the desk and two notebooks. “Which one is business?” She asked.

“All.”

“What? I'm pretty sure the professor didn't take this many lessons!”

“He did, you would know if you paid attention in class.”

“I do pay attention.”

“What were we discussing in last class?” He asked with his eyebrows raised.

“Not the point.”

“That is exactly the point.”

“Stop, just tell the important stuff.”

“Everything is important.”

“Be serious.”

“I am.”

She put her head on the table and groaned. She raised her head up and scanned his face.

“You have nice eyes.”

Grayson tried hard not to blush. “Thank you.”

“And hair. You're smart too. Aren't you a package?” She said,

“Are you…flirting with me?” He asked.

“Maybe? Is it working?”

“No. And no.”

“What is the other no for?”

“Im not doing your part of the project as well.”

“Please? I'll set you up with one of my friends.” She begged, almost.

“No thank you.”

She groaned again. “You're insufferable.”

“And you're a brat.”

“What are you, 50?”

“Can we look into the project, I'll try my best to explain what you should be doing.” He sighed.

“That would be great actually!”

_

While he was explaining her part and some lessons in the syllabus her phone was constantly ringing or a notification kept popping up, she kept answering them too. Grayson was getting tired.

“Look, if you're not taking this seriously then I'll just give your part, and leave.”

“No! I'm sorry. I'll turn my phone off, okay?”

_

They worked on the project and Grayson sort of tutored her a little for a while in the library everyday. Grayson realised she's a quick learner unlike most people. He was worried that he would have to explain things more than once to her but she understood everything quickly.

“Okay…so I worked on my part. Um, it's probably not as good as yours but it's all I can do, okay?” She hesitantly gave it to him.

Grayson read through and wasn't shocked, he was with for a week and saw that she's not really dumb. Just lazy.

“Well?” She asked.

“Well what?”

“What do you think?” 

“Think? You care about what I think?” He asked.

“Well, you're the genius here. And, um I'm not really sure about my work.” 

“You shouldn't. Its a good piece. Plus, you shouldn't be worried about what I think of your work.”

“I don't know, you're kind of judgemental.” Sge said.

“I am, aren't I?” 

“Uh huh.”

“Well, you don't have to interact with me any further. Since our work here is done. Hope I didn't ruin your reputation by making you study all week.” It was his way of cracking a joke which she picked up.

She chuckled. “No, it's all good. I mean my friends were making fun but I sort of had fun studying and catching up on lessons.”

“You had fun?” Grayson was surprised.

“Yeah. You're judgey and cold but tolerable. I mean who isn't judgey?” 

“I agree. But I only judged for two days. When I realised I misjudged you, I stopped.” He told her.

“Oh? What do you think of me now?”

“I think you're a nice person. You're smart even if you try. But your ‘friends’ are a bad influence.”

“Why would you emphasise ‘friends'” She asked, slightly offended.

“They always degrade you, and make fun of you for studying which you seem to think ‘fun’. Only idiots make fun of people for having fun.”

She was quiet. She knew he was right.

“But they're my friends.”

“Really? All they care about is when you'll post them on your Instagram because you have thousands of followers.” 

“No! They do care more.”

“You're not as smart as I thought you were then.”

“You think everyone is below you.”

“I don't.”

“Grayson, you said you know more about business than our professor.”

“Because I do. I have experience.”

She shook her head. 

“I don't think I'm above everyone.”

“Sure, name one person whom you think is above you.” She scoffed.

“You.”

“What?”

“You're not judgemental, despite this popular girl facade you're a really kind person, I've seen the way you treat the staff and waiters when we were in the cafe. You treat them with respect and kindness. The only flaw you have is self doubt and letting your so-called friends walk you over.”

“I don't let my friends walk all over me.” She looked down. “You don't even know me, stop acting like you do!”

“I know it has only been a week, but trust me. I know you.” 

“No, you're just a jerk!” She grabbed her bag and left the library.

He wanted to run after her and apologise though he didn't do anything, he just wanted to apologise to her to make her stay. He liked talking to her, teaching her, and she was curious during their tutoring sessions. She was funny too. But he didn't go after her, he just sat and put both their parts together to do the final draft.

[fresne999]

Half way through the journey of our analyses

I feel like roughly half of the analysis I'm reading about OFMD S2 is folks who clearly fixated on a character (it's Izzy, it's always Izzy that inspires this kind of analysis) write analyses that cause the 2nd response of, "Um…did you ever study literary analysis in school."

Now I come at this from a slightly odd place in that I did study literary analysis in school (30+ years ago) where I learned it's possible to interpret anything about any way, because we're all bringing different lenses to the analysis. Which isn't to say that an author can't have an intended interpretation. 

Dante in Canto V of Inferno (Divine Comedy) would still like folks to understand fixating on the two damned-lovers and ignoring the details that the artist is putting in there for you to catch about how they are damned because they won't change the toxic patterns that got them there in the first place. Also, they can't because they are in hell, and hell is like that. That Dante-the-writer had Dante-the-character swoon over those same two damned-lovers (because Dante-the-character is on a journey of moral correction) is hilarious, but doesn't make it any less the point of that section of the work, but I digress.

As a career, I am very aware that folks love to misinterpret what is meant to be very clear instructions. Of course, I'm writing policies and procedures, which is a bit different from writing fiction, and is worlds away from creating a t.v. show. But that's the life experience that I always bring to literary analysis. Frequently, people choose their interpretations to fit what they want to see, and that's part of being human.

I've seen a fair number of folks interpret Izzy's redemption arc in S2 as one of a queer man struggling with disabilities and mental health issues whose struggle is made meaningless by his demise. Which sure, you could interpret it that way and in that it's coming from I'm sure an emotional place, I get it. And hmmm… I might give this interpretation more credence  if I hadn't read a lot of Izzy analysis for S1 that was wildly different than the text.

So let's take a step back. 

First, know the rules of the literary universe: OFMD is a show where the reality is not ours. It is either the Core Universe or something very close to it. BTW: If you've never heard of Core Universe or read the seminal BtVS+HtLJ "When Hellmouth's Collide" (https://www.ltljverse.com/index2.htm), a Core Universe is one where everything lines up. Row boats are magic, and where there is a Badminton, he will accidentally stab/shoot himself. 

Terminology more befitting of that fancy literature degree might be to say that OFMD functions along the logic of Magical Realism. Characters will appear briefly for the purposes of the story and then disappear not to be mentioned again (Nana, Calico Jack, Mary Read & Anne Bonny). Things align because they are meant to align. It is a universe where the Gravy Basket is a real place, and meant to be taken seriously.  It's also a universe where a man may become a seagull, because he loves the sea. You change for love, but the ways you change may be positive or toxic. 

They can result in a bird that never gets to know rest. Always flying over the sea. Or they lead to becoming a bird, who can float in the sea or land on a unicorn's leg. 

Transformation. 

Anyway, S1 - Stede commissioned a ship with secret passageways. It did not have a buxom mermaid on the prow, nor something more befitting a ship named the Revenge. He commissioned a unicorn prow and went off to become a pirate. 

A not particularly violent pirate. But a pirate who didn't have a problem with the violence of piracy. See Stede telling Lucius (hardest working man on the ship in S1) to take notes during a violent raid where the show's logo was literally carved into the chest of a dead man. 

BTW: The tone about violence is darker in S2, but the violence was there in S1. It was just presented in a more whimsical way. The nose jar was full of noses in S1. We heard about Blackbeard's violence. A man was skinned alive off screen, but we focused on the Prussian (but also sort of French) party. 

What Izzy needed to be redeemed from was established in S1. The problem is that folks who interpreted Izzy as a) the central focus of the show and b) a put upon manager just trying to do right by his crew (or as one Tumblerina referred to him as the man/father of the family going out to hunt - excuse me while I vomit - and support his family as men must do), are not going to understand what Izzy's S2 arc was all about. 

Ed and Stede are the main characters in a romantic story. There are other characters with their own arcs, but they are the main characters.

In S1, Stede created a safe space where characters had a chance to breathe for the first time. Possibly ever, and as a result revisited parts of themselves they'd lost. Wee John got back in touch with his roots as the son of a seamstress. Frenchie got back to what he loves, scamming the rich. The Swede sang like a siren of the sea, because it doesn't always have to be scary. 

Ed had his first good time in years. After expressing suicidal ideation to Izzy because of his terminal boredom in S1.E4 - Discomfort in a Married state, Ed found himself some balance. Some sweet marmalade. 

Ed and Izzy were in a toxic relationship that only reinforced their toxic behavior. And yes, I'm going to overuse the word toxic. While piracy is a place where you can go be yourself and shag whoever you want (whatever happens at sea stays at sea), it's not a place where you can be soft. Gentle. Emotionally open. Available. 

Ed's only path out that he could see at the time was to plan to skin the face of the man who built a ridonculous boat with a unicorn on the prow and wear it for the rest of his life. A plan to send Stede to Doggy Heaven. 

BTW: This is why Izzy uses the line in S2.E3 - the Innkeeper, that they put Ed down like a mad dog, so that Stede could reply that they sent Ed to Doggy Heaven. Reiterating this concept of piracy as violence, as taking away faces / identity / lives, but also losing one's own. Forgetting even what day of the year it is. Also revealing that Stede knew about Ed & Izzy's plan to murder him, send Stede to doggy heaven, and had moved on. 

This is also why the respite in S2.E4 - Fun and Games is so critical. Mary Read/Anne Bonney are portrayed as direct parallels to Stede/Ed. They are selling what are, no doubt, the spoils of their piracy. But they've chosen a remote location with no community, but each other and a life where they are not actually communicating. Which on its surface is where Ed and Stede end up, and yet…the Revenge can sail back. They are on the shore facing the sea, not in a jungle lost from a clear view. I'll quote the relevant Dante in just a bit, never fear.

Ed and Stede's new inn has the potential for a solid foundation, because the unicorn has been planted firmly in the ground, and if we get an S3, I firmly expect the unicorn leg to have transformed into a tree, because I've read a lot of medieval literature and that's how that sort of thing works. 

Well, it could be a penis tree (this was a thing in medieval marginalia), but somehow I don't think it will be. 

 But I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

Back in S1, the plan to murder Stede and take his identity broke down despite Izzy trying to perform an intervention to get Ed back into the toxic soup, and ended with Ed curled up in a bathtub and opening up about murdering his father. An image the show chose to flash on the screen multiple times in S2 just in case folks forgot that this was a traumatizing event for Ed, and was itself the culmination of years of traumatic abuse at his father's hands. 

Just as Stede kept flashing back to the moment his father tells him what it is to be a man, and kills an animal, the blood splashing on Stede's wee little face. 

That this is the point of the show. Transforming past trauma. It's there. You always carry the scars. Sometimes, you decide to tattoo yourself with the image of the thing you fear, and then the thing you fear is always there, but you've got to keep moving forward. To stay in one place, to stay trapped in the same emotion/action, is hell. I've read a lot of lit crit of Dante's Inferno. Trust me, it's the same thing.

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the events of S1E6 - Here Dragons Be, because it's where the pustule of his relationship with Ed breaks. His attempted intervention fails to get Ed to kill Stede, so Izzy tries to kill Stede. Not realizing that a) Stede is a main character and b) this is a Core Universe show. Where it's possible to win a duel by being stabbed in the left side of your gut and stay there for many hours and not die. So he loses the 1 thing that defines him, his job. 

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the events of s1E8 - We Gull Way Back, where he enlists Calico Jack to lure Ed off the boat (with all the toxic masculinity that entailed) so that the British could show up and shoot the head off the unicorn, and kill Stede. So Izzy can crawl back into his old patterns / job / life. 

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the big drama confrontation in S1E10 - Wherever You Go There You Are, when as a person whose entire identity is tied up in being Blackbeard's First Mate and after realizing that he couldn't cut it as a captain on his own, he does whatever the f- he can to get Ed back into the toxic soup so he can get his old role/job back.  

This isn't to say that Ed's off the deep end actions in S2.E1&2 aren't his own choices. He is a main character. His emotional arc is one of the driving forces of the show. But they are the choices of a man who wants to die. After a lifetime of violent action that had been increasingly drowning him, he wants to die in the violence of battle, but the enemy are never good enough. He wants Izzy to kill him, but Izzy won't. Until he does…sort of. He wants to die in a storm. He's carving notches on his wall hoping to lure Ned Low to him so that he can die in pain. But Ed is the devil and does not die.

Except Ed's not the devil. He doesn't have a head made of smoke. He's a man. Not a fisherman. Not a fisher of men, and what an interesting attempt to go Christ himself off into the wilderness only to be fired for not being that good at it, and then receive his letter from the deep. 

Because in a show full of magical realism, the bottles with messages will reach the intended recipient eventually.

"In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself in a dark wood for the straight way was lost. Ah, how hard a thing it is to say what that wood was. So savage and harsh and strong, that the thought of it renews my fear. It is so bitter that death is little more so. But to speak of the good that I found there, I will tell of the other things I saw…and like one with laboring breath comes forth from the deep onto the shore, who turns back to the perilous water and stares, so my spirit still fleeing turned to gaze upon the pass that has never left anyone alive." Dante, Canto 1, Inferno. 

Instead of dying, Ed goes not to Purgatory (sorry I'd quote the opening lines, but Inferno actually works better here), but to the Gravy Basket, where he confronts the spirit of Hornigold. Dead spirit. Aspect of Ed's self. Both. Neither. Hated. Self. Unkillable. 

Is saved by a goldfish incarnation of Stede. 

But just as the imaginary as Stede's vision of what / who he thinks he needs to be for Ed, this is not true. Life being what it is, Ed and Stede rush when they need to go slow. They break apart because they are saying words, but the other person is hearing based on their own interpretation. 

BTW: The clue Dante-the-writer gives the reader in Canto V of Inferno is how one of the damned lovers, Francesca, explains how she hooked up with her brother-in-law, Paulo. She describes reading an Arthurian romance. She and Paulo kissed when Gwenevere and Lancelot kissed in the story. Except the version they are reading (and Dante tells the reader which version this is) was intended as a cautionary tale. Also, Paulo and Francesca were real people who were murdered by Francesca's husband when he caught them together. So there is that too.

I always like it in fiction when characters misinterpret each other because they hear based on their life experiences and don't hear the things that are said/unsaid based on the life experiences of the other person speaking. That's good writing. It's also how we end up with wildly varying interpretations of works of fiction.

But I digress.

Izzy's S2 arc is that he must let go of his relationship with Ed and turn to others. He must learn to let go of toxic masculinity and let in softness. Not weakness. Water is not weak, but it is soft. Calypso, goddess of the sea, is not weak. Her birthday is whatever day you need it to be. She is vast and deep and soft and relentless. 

In Ro-sham-bo, it's a shame that there is not a gesture for water. Because it is not paper that defeats stone, but water that wears away the stone. Of course, scissors wouldn't do much to water either, so that would sort of break Ro-sham-bo, so I suppose it must stay as it is.

It is through a craft's project that the crew of the Revenge find healing. Turn Izzy into the unicorn. A unicorn that Izzy's own actions caused to be decapitated with a British cannon ball in S1. That Izzy rendered legless (drunk). But the Revenge is a boat. They just need to swim/sail. It is through a craft's project that Izzy is able to offer healing to Lucius, who in turn is then able to turn their art away from fixating on Ed, and the trauma that he's been through and back towards love, and Black Pete. 

But it's not possible to see Izzy's S2 arc, if you didn't interpret S1 Izzy as needing to go through his own gravy basket. 

That Izzy dies because his transformation is necessary. He can't leave Ed, and if he doesn't leave Ed, then Ed can't stop being Blackbeard. The kracken. He literally tells Ed this as he chooses to transform. To free the world of Blackbeard, so Ed can be Ed. Yet, I've read so many posts by folks saying, "But why did he have to die?" Which sure, you can choose not believe what the character says while dying.

Which is a narrative privilege. To get a good dying speech. "There he is" get to be transmutted from an attack to an actual seeing. The larger than life concept of a smoke headed pirate can waft away.

Stories are hard to kill. They live on long past us, and as long as someone is remembered, especially in a universe like OFMD, we live. 

Though always reject the gift of a clock. That's someone telling you that you've only got so many hours left of life. If you are a character in a story. 

Thus the other parallel in this season is Izzy to Auntie and Ed to Zheng Yi Sao. Auntie must allow Zheng softness. Izzy must go through a sea change to something new and strange. Also, this would be a case of Doylistically the writers needed to line up Olu with Stede for that to work, and thus the new configurations of Olu and Jim's relationship, which, shrug, could be poly. Could be friends to lovers to friends.  Woulda, coulda, had more time, but that's on Max for not giving us 2 more episodes.

Prince Richard was trying to become a concept, but was too in love with the mechanics of it. Stede was trying to become a concept too. Found his fame, and all too quickly the toxic end of that particular route. Magical Realism was on his side until he tried to face down Zheng Yi Sao, the Queen of Pirates, and then the rules of the story weren't. Because those clocks were ticking. Everyone was in a very dark wood. The memory of blood splashed on Stede's face as a little boy was a warning. It was a reminder. It was the wrong lessons we take from our childhood and must unlearn to become whole.

Having the final shot of the show being Buttons landing on the unicorn leg as a reminder that this is a show about transformation. One thing becoming another thing. Somewhere the dead are dancing in Calypso's court. A dance below the sea and on the sea and with the sea. While the living keep sailing on their magic ship to do…I don't know. 

Because the Golden Age of Piracy is coming to an end. They'll go create new worlds and new places to be. Transforming.

If we get no more of the show, this is a resolution.

Since I've been quoting Dante, I'm going to end this with the final vision in Paradiso. Because folks who haven't been reading my analysis for the last 30 years / read it, may not realize that the Divine Comedy (a story that begins in sorrow and ends in joy) ends with the vision of a 3 way rainbow. 

"In the profound and shining Being of the deep Light, three circles appeared, of three colours, and one magnitude: one seemed refracted by the other, like Iris’s rainbows, and the third seemed fire breathed equally from both. O how the words fall short, and how feeble compared with my conceiving!…Power, here, failed the deep imagining: but already my desire and will were rolled, like a wheel that is turned, equally, by the Love that moves the Sun and the other stars."

[charmedreincarnation]

I got into the void using your challenge: live update

Day 1:

I said isn’t it wonderful once every hour: everytime I felt doubt I reminded myself isn’t it wonderful and the doubt went away. It kept me in very good mood and my desires did feel closer to me more than ever

Day 2:

Like the challenge said I started my day with Isn't it wonderful that I love and accept my godly ability to choose my reality, and I said that once and mediated on my limited beliefs to and tried to question why I should have them when I am god. I felt like a new person

I manifested so many things. Free coffee’, a cute man asking for my number, so many compliments from strangers which rarely happens, and not being late to class even though I’m always late. I was already becoming my dream self I envision after the void

I have a good vision board I was using for my visuals. Everytime something reminded me of my 3D, I stared at it on my phone to remind myself of the life I am living so why am I concerned, and I repeated isn’t it wonderful to remind myself of my wonderful life, it worked like a charm pun intended

It is night time so I am going to listen to the third video you recommended.

Tomorrow I will write about how grateful I am for all my desires that have manifested and meditate on the phrase it is done. My dream life is already here even if not in the 3D yet I have already become my imagination and I’m excited to fulfill my desires on the fourth day and I will message you my success story.

Day 3:

Today is my last day and I am already fulfilled. It really is wonderful. This morning I got up at 3 am (Happy Aïdd) and prayed on all the things I am grateful for. I went to sleep and woke up again. And journaled about all the wonderful things I have. My wealth, my beauty, my kind heart, the wonderful celebration in my beautiful house I am having with my family, my wonderful fiancé, mastery of the void state, the millions dollars of income I have flowing in my bank account yearly, my healthsafety and protection from god, all things that will be fulfilled the next time I close my eyes and open it. Then I wrote all my goals for the rest of the year, business plans, school plans, wedding plans, trip plans etc etc. this is a normal thing for me. All I could think is it is done this is my life MashaAllah

Update:

I was not planning into going to the void until after I went to bed. But I took a nap and woke up in the void thank you so much for this wonderful challenge

I woke up from my nap in a room I did not recognize I feared I had died, but it is here. I am not shocked or surprised, I don’t know how when I cried for this to happen for months but I have been fulfilled since the first day of the challenge so thank you dear 🙏

A shortened version of my desires

Living a luxurious life in Dubai

Living with all my family members in a 12 bedroom mansion in Dubai

Many house help who are treated with love and kindness and paid well

Loyal wealthy loving and god fearing handsome fiancé whom my family approve of

Attending zayned university

Hourglass body, and 36 inches of long healthy hair that never gets matted

Misgyony free household

10/10 beauty

Long natural nails that never break

High IQ that is respected

A white phantom rolls-Royce as my car

And a lot more 🙏 thank you to Loa tumblr and god himself. I pray all of this for you kind dearing souls

Another update

Tomorrow we throw a celebration and none of my family knows I did this, it is like we have always been rich and happy when we were poor and torn apart. I decorate and set up with my sisters, my mother is cooking 30 dishes, and my father for once is helping her clean up. He now worships here rather than abuses her. I am already getting many gifts, purses and jewelry I could only see in my dreams. My closet is very large the size of my old apartment 😂😂 I have hundreds of shoes and even more clothes and purses. I am in awe and greatful 🥰

Happy Aïdd😭😭🎉🎉💕 the fact that you got your desires on this wonderful day makes me so happy !!! You honestly did the challenge in more depth than I gave and it worked out so beautifully I am beyond happy for you beautiful anon 😭🫶🫶

[magpod-confessions]

The amount of the fandom who listen to this podcast, which condemns the audience for being a voyeur very openly, and then completely miss that point is staggering. Art has an inherently voyeuristic element, to listen to suffering as one does when listening to TMA is to be a voyeur, to hear the petty office gossip and the drama between characters on tape is inherently invasive.

It's also reflective of reality.

It's such a key piece of analysis and it seems like the fandom is swamped in condemnation of characters for revealing information on tape when the question then is: How else would we know? We are voyeurs, listening to this fictional world where we are dependent on the creator to showcase what details are significant. I think that generally, that is quite well done and at the same time, people get quite angry over it.

I'm not certain I'm articulating this well, but I think the biggest example is Melanie's passing mention of Jon's sexuality. It's so interesting to me that people condemn Georgie and Melanie for talking about it (but not Martin, which...), but that lens is not self-reflective of the fact that we, as listeners, should also not know it. It is representative of a lot of real life interactions in a very specific way that lives outside of idealism where information about people is often revealed and obtained without consent from either party. Part of the purpose of that reveal I believe is genuinely to comment on what the audience has been wondering about Jon in terms of sexuality and to call them in for their own voyeuristic tendencies by making them listening to it.

And yet, the only analysis that comes out of that is fighting over what that statement means in terms of Jon's sexuality. The number of arguments over what flavor of asexual that man is like he's an ice cream freezer crops up every month or so. The information is minimal and three people removed from the source, and not intended to be overhead by us, and then it causes a debate. The purpose of that, and overhearing gossip and learning things about people they haven't revealed themselves is that we are not supposed to know at all!

Huge fandom miss in my opinion in terms of analysis.

That isn't the only instance--I think the final statements of Elias and Rosie are also very good examples where that is information that we are not supposed to know. Unlike statement givers who have come to the institute or those who are not named, they don't offer that information freely (as much as can be said with an Archivist in tow), and its deeply disturbing that we, as viewers, have access to it. That so many headcanons and thoughts and ideas are built around twenty minutes of what is essentially forcibly extracted information.

The listener as the voyeur is one of the strongest elements of TMA and missing that I think is the core of so much fandom discourse. We could all benefit from some self-awareness, I think.

.

[sunlit-skycat]

Some pondering on the organization of Musser's forces in Pale. Text below cut to avoid spoilers. It's been a while since I actually read the relevant sections, so feel free to correct me if any of this is contradicted by the text.

On a strategic level, Musser wants to stop Charles from being able to decide stuff about Practice in the region. He chooses to accomplish this by taking as many Lordships over Ontario as possible, to lock out Charles' influence. In canon, we see him doing this by having a single strong Practitioner claim the area, and then hand it to someone weaker who can hold onto it, like Milly. It isn't very important to him which Practitioner takes exactly what area, as long as it is within the general pool he wants to reward.

Technically, this means that only the actual person making the Lordship claim matters. Dipping into gaming terminology here, Musser's win con is to get someone who can do an accelerated 3 day Lordship claim into the appropriate location and make sure they don't face anyone they can't win a fight against.

Musser is super strong. In 12.9, Zed says that he can run roughshod over LVA and bind every single Other in Kennet. He has a ridiculous number of combat feats. Given all of that, why does Musser need to send anyone else into Kennet before he gets there?

It isn't explicitly stated in the text, but it would make sense if everyone else is sent there as canon fodder to discover what traps the locals have sent by walking into them first. In other words, reconnaissance by force. In his interlude, Easton is told, "Stall them, until we can hit them with our main forces, he remembered the order.  We’ll arrive just before dawn." What he isn't told is that his group isn't intended to succeed, because none of them can realistically achieve Musser's win con, which is to get one (1) strong Practitioner into the center of town and successfully complete a Lordship claim. What they are meant to do is to bait out any tricks the Kenneteers have so that all of Kennet's reserves are exhausted by the time Musser comes into town.

Because they don't matter, Musser hasn't bothered to make sure that these groups have strong cohesion and work well together. Successful armies tend to be ones that replicate well-functioning peacetime social structures on the battlefield, or have long training periods to build up cohesion through shared experiences. The most "natural" unit in the Practitioner world is that of the family, but instead the groups Elizabeth and Easton are sent to Kennet in are made of loose acquaintances and classmates. It's demonstrated multiple times in their interludes how these groups have a lot of clashing personalities that cause them to work at cross purposes to each other. Elizabeth and Angie have some preexisting feud, and Easton can't go 10 minutes without sexually harassing Shay. These are terrible group assignments, and the only in-universe example I can think of for why anyone thought it was a good idea to put them together is if leadership doesn't care enough to set them up to succeed. After all, they are mooks meant to prepare the way for Musser, both in-universe and outside of it.

[ennn]

What do you think is the narrative point of the show, like where do you think it's headed with its message/what do yoy think Agatha's arc here is?

Hi Anon! You know, I think there are a lot of specifics about the show we don’t know at the moment but one thing I think that’s pretty clear is Agatha’s intended arc.

1. Agatha's true deep-buried goal is to find a coven, a family

Schaeffer spells it out quite clearly across a number of interviews, here's one (source):

But I think what you can get from the earliest episodes is that, yes, she wants power, right? That's her superficial goal. That's her super objective. But that can't be it, right? That's boring. What's underneath it? And it's it's fairly clear from the beginning that she reluctantly wants community, that this is a covenless witch who, deep down, wants a coven. 

2. The biggest obstacle to what Agatha really wants is Agatha herself

Of course most notorious witch-killer (whose original coven and mom tried to execute) isn't going to find a coven easily. The protagonist and antagonist here is Agatha All Along. From the same interview:

We had to sort of chart a course. The way I defined Agatha—prior to the room, prior to anything—is that she's a liar, that it's just masks. This show is about pulling that mask all the way off. And what do we see? What is under the mask? ... For Agatha, she's in the way of her own thing. And it's much more of a subtext and a fabric that we then exploit and explore deeper into the show.

3. The Road will compel Agatha to reveal her truth

To succeed at the Road, as the show has already pointed out you're supposed to need a "coven true" (sorry Agatha it's not a "coven two").

In the production brief for the show, it's further elaborated on that this means the coven has to really work as a team:

And the key to surviving the Witches' Road is that the coven needs to be like a Seal Team 6 of witches. They need to be really in lock step with each other, and almost instinctively know what every witch is going to do before they do it.

Now to do this, it's clear that these witches (and not just Agatha) have got to start bonding more and if not trust each other, at least understand each other. Who is Agatha beneath the rumours and reputation? We've already seen glimpses of what's behind Agatha's masks — the hurt, and the humanity she's hidden away — and we're certainly going to get more.

I find it interesting that the show has remained ambiguous whether Agatha has really done the Road before at all, because if she had she would have completed her arc right? If the Road is supposed to give you what you're missing or seeking.

Now while I think Agatha's arc is pretty clear, the specifics are all up in the air, which is what keeps us tuned in to the show.

How will she get her power back? What is she willing to sacrifice? What decisions will she make? And to discover Agatha's truth and appreciate her journey, we (and the coven members) will also need to learn more about Agatha's backstory, the choices and circumstances that led Agatha up to this point.

And I think the ultimate message of the show here is the power of community, of having your own coven, especially when you are part of a minority, because you really can't do it alone.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

do you have heretical thoughts on mudugnus fletcher? i never understood the point of his character.

I do have heretical thoughts about pointless characters.

Name Me a Character Who Has a Fucking Purpose in Harry Potter

Singling out Mundungus is kind of weird when we have equally pointless (yet sometimes treated as extremely important) characters who have either negligible influence on the plot or could have been replaced easily by someone else.

What's the point of Fred and George? In the story they only act as a) funny b) Deus ex Machina on several notable occasions c) Weasley brothers d) a tragic death we can all cry about (where it doesn't even fucking matter which one kicked it.)

Take a look at Charlie, he's even worse, we barely see him to the point where his personality is... earring? Or Bill for that matter, yes he gets to marry Fleur and get mauled by werewolf and work in Gringotts but... does he have any personality?

Does Ginny have any point besides "hot validation girlfriend" for Harry? (I'm not saying that wouldn't be nice, I'm asking if she was written in such a way that she does, because we see her in book two having to be rescued and then... she sort of shows up in book six for a few chapters to be Harry's girlfriend only to be broken up with immediately).

Honestly, I could even point to Ron and Hermione. Do they ever grow as people? Do they, in and of themselves, ever have a large influence on the greater plot or are they there to be Harry's cheerleaders or the friend he's mad at today? Is Ron just "funny friend" and Hermione "smart friend"?

It's just, I agree there's no point to Mundungus, but that's pretty much every fucking character even some of the main ones.

(Is the purpose of Tonks just to be "cool girl" then die tragically off screen after having given birth to godson for Harry?)

That Said...

All of the above isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it's actually quite good in some ways. People love the diverse cast of HP characters and all the zany people we meet along the way even if we only see them for two seconds.

If HP was a video game, I'd give JKR an A+ for side quests and funny NPCs who tell us all about their weird life stories while doing crazy things.

It's one of the things people really like about HP as a series.

But, that does mean pointing out Mundungus is pointless is kind of silly.

"So is everyone."

Thoughts on Mundungus

My spicy thoughts are "whoa, Harry, did you really have to strangle the guy out of nowhere like that?" and "... Huh, we just... never touched on that strangling incident again, did we? We really just let that simmer, didn't even question it, but I guess it's no worse than we let the Cruciatus Curse simmer/having absolutely no comment on that incident, so... in character."

Otherwise, Mundungus does seem to have an alcohol problem, he definitely has a pilfering problem and is known as such, he seems to be in the Order much for the reason a lot of people are in the Order, to round out their numbers for... purposes...

Even if that's a bit ridiculous when they ask him to do things he actually doesn't want to do (see him getting dragged into the Battle of Seven Potters and Moody ending up dead because of it).

As much as this isn't a "guess the author's intent" blog, I think JKR intended for him to be the scapegoat, of sorts, she needed shit to go wrong with the Order now and then (Harry getting attacked by Dementors in Little Whinging and no one noticing, Moody dying, the locket being sold off, etc.) and rather than spread the love among Order members we're supposed to like/think are incredibly competent, it all piles onto Mundungus.

[niobiumao3]

Havoc Marauder Interior

Someone made a post about this a while ago but apparently they de-activated so it is possibly lost to the mists of time. Here is what I put together for myself as a writing reference. Image heavy, meta heavy.

Last edit: 2024/10/29

Edits: Replaced garbage text layout with actual ship overhead. Realized the two concept art images face different directions. This likely explains the magical moving jump seats. Also added discussion of a cargo hold. Added discussion of ship dimensions (specifically length). Replaced old guesstimates with numbers from Dawn of Rebellion. Added commentary about the magical seat. Added comment about the belly airlock and updated the floor plan.

I think people under- and over-estimate the Marauder's interior potential. Given its overall size and intended use (transporting about 10-15 troops plus assorted equipment and providing air support in a forward area), there's not much room left for creature comforts.

Except the Batch aren't 10-15 people, they're 5, and the shuttle is referred to as modified numerous times. This leaves plenty of room to make assumptions and freeform. So, as to what we have actual, visual evidence for from episodes and concept art, here is a rudimentary floor plan:

An important point about the two concept art images: they do NOT face the same direction. The top image faces to the aft/back of the ship, i.e. the tailgun. The second image faces to the fore/front of the ship.

Number key:

1: We know this is where the ramp and door are located from War Mantle and Metamorphsis.

2: We know about this upper storage area from Cut and Run

3: The access to the tail gun has changed visual from TCW s07e02 and various TBB episodes.

4: Access to a floor hatch with a narrow, vertical 'airlock' can be seen briefly in Bounty Lost.

The Airlock

With thanks to @megmca for reminding me of this: there's a narrow, belly-hatch airlock. We see it briefly in Bounty Lost, when they attach to the escape pod Omega has commandeered and Wrecker brings her in.

For all of you wondering what airlock-access the ship has, this is it.

The Magically Appearing/Disappearing Seat

In Cut and Run we have this moment with Hunter and Omega, but in most other shots each of these consoles has only one seat (eg. Tech and Echo in prior frames). I think this is actually NOT a magically appearing seat. I think it's the other console seat, because I suspect they can be moved. I base this one this shot from Replacements:

That looks like a seat with a moveable base.

Obviously this is bad design for a ship which is doing barrel rolls and what-not, so I have to assume they're magnetically locked. Even if it is the same seat, in the shots right before that one above, Omega walks up and it's not in that space. So it's almost like the scene was longer and was shortened, and we missed a few frames of her or Hunter unlocking it and moving it over.

Meta Discussions

tl;dr: I think of the Marauder as a small fishing vessel or a van-conversion RV. You can put a lot into a small space if you get creative.

Bathroom I know the writers have made weird assertions there isn't one and omg they all smell gross from no hygiene but that makes zero sense. Soldiers are constantly under stress, they're getting injured, they need to stay clean when possible or they're going to get sick and die from a systemic infection in short order. Anyone who's glanced in the general direction of military history knows this. You can argue about clone expendibility all you want but the Batch minimally qualify in that regard, being Nala Se's pet project. Can you imagine losing one of them to a staph infection because there's nowhere for them to bust out some no-rinse antimicrobial soap or get their scalp clean? I'm not saying they'll be doing photoshoots in between missions (well maybe Hunter would ) but, come on. (And are you going to tell me Mr. Sensor Sensoria is cool with doing long hauls with 4 people who don't bathe? Just, no.)

But that much aside, anyone who's ever been in an RV, a commercial airliner, or a modest-sized sea vessel knows you can cram a bathroom into a tiny space. Yes, you're going to be spinning in circles doing things, but the benefits of a spot to clean up, manage waste, and tend to injuries far outweigh any other use of that area. So regardless of what the writers say, a transport without a minimal refresher (to use the SW term) is counter to the ship's designed use. It has to be able to accommodate Wrecker, of course, but in the end it can double as storage when not in use. There is zero reason to not have one. Added to this, we now officially have a length for the Marauder, which is 30.3 meters (see below). RVs which are 1/5 of that size have bathrooms. You're going to tell me the Marauder doesn't?

If nothing else, since the TCW episodes and the beginning of S1 have pointed to them going on extended deployments with long hops between stops, they're going to need one or constantly be handling waste in much less efficient and sustainable ways.

Added to all of this, it's specifically called a modified variant of an Omicron. We're probably meant to think this means 'Tech would like to fly faster than the GAR and ship engineers think is reasonable for a shuttle' but IMO it extends to changes like this as well. So, there's a refresher in there, feel free to choose a spot. Right across from the fold out racks is a good candidate because in most imagery it's just weapons storage, and there's an entire upper-deck space which you could use for that.

Galley Definitely not one of these. The Batch are eating rations any time they're not on Kamino. You can make an argument they (and all clone units) have cook kits for improvised eating in the field; in the Batch's case I suspect that's a given, as they'd just start doing it because who's going to stop them? Additionally, the sheer amount of rations you would need to carry around to feed Wrecker would be ridiculous. (Remember when Wrecker talks about never being full in S2E13? I feel like this is an indication they did and still do, in fact, have to improvise a lot of additional caloric intake. Hunter probably thought Cut and Suu's farm was a genius idea. 'Grow your own food! Wrecker will never be hungry again! Fucking incredible.' Then Tech got the ship impounded.) I think you can argue for one being added, like with the refresher. Do they actually need those weapons racks anymore? Definitely no. But, it's not on there by default.

Beds As you can see in the concept art above, there are at least 3 racks that fold out from the wall on the port side. They're at a minimum wide enough to accommodate Wrecker, they may also be long enough for him to not need to curl up (unclear because in this shot from Bounty Lost his knees are bent and he's hugging Lula):

Three is a weird number since originally there were four of them. I figure the options here are:

The pilot/copilot/second row seats all look 100% more comfortable than the racks. We actually see Tech sleeping in one, at one point, so this has actual evidence to support it.

It's war time, they're never all asleep simultaneously. Someone is always flying the ship or on watch.

The floor is in effect the same as a rack, arguably preferable as you can't fall off it in the event Something Happens while you're out. So, one of them might actually be ON the floor sometimes.

They're not really intended to sleep on the ship for extended periods, but narratively we're lead to believe they have, many times, and needed to make adjustments to it as a result. Notice how quickly Wrecker whipped up a bed for Omega? IMO, not the first time they've done something like that--they did it for themselves first.

Cargo Hold Based on that screenshot of Omega above and the below shot from Cut and Run, the 'hold' of the ship is actually a storage area overhead, running the length of the ship. In that shot above of the rack, there are a series of yellow rungs which imply you can climb up somewhere on the port side. This is probably alternate access to that same overhead storage space.

In Cut and Run we see Echo, Omega, and Tech hide in it, coming back out from a slide-open hatch:

Given Tech's height this is probably somewhere around 1.5m high.

We can be reasonably certain the hold isn't under the ship, or at least storage there is minimal, due to a couple of things:

In all instances where the hyperdrive has been pulled, it's under the ship on the belly, and takes up a reasonable amount of space. Eg., in Retrieval, here's a bunch of stuff which has been pulled from the ship:

In instances where they're working on the ship from the outside, like in Cornered, the sides and belly never have panels open which contain empty space unless the ship's hardware have been removed to reach something:

So, the cargo hold is probably that space on the top from Cut and Run. It doesn't have much room; reasonably speaking, the area with the weapons and sleeping racks was probably a cargo hold as well, they just converted it to a more general purpose area. (So IMO this is a stronger argument for putting a commercial airliner-style bathroom in place of the weapons racks, particularly once they bail on the Empire.)

Dimensions - updated 11/3/23 Dawn of Rebellion has a Bad Batch section, and indicates the Marauder is 30.3m in length, 36.65m wide (presumably with the wings extended, and 12.41m tall (this probably includes the central stabilizer).

I will edit this to update it as we get more pictures. Since the toys that I know of have no basis the show from an internal perspective I didn't include anything from them.

Image sources:

All screencaps by me. Use at will.

Marauder underlay

Bad Batch Concept Art, Marauder Interior