#which is wild bc i started my fandom journey as one. maybe that's why lmao mcyt fan spaces are way different than 2012

[svtskneecaps]

ok i do need to ask, do we like KNOW know that some egg admins have been playing as other silly npcs during this downtime or are we speculating. like i've seen people identifying admins with varying strength of basis since the eggs first existed but like. for a while there anytime an npc spoke portuguese everyone thought it was richas and then occasionally it would be agent 18 lmao so. . . are we doing that now or do we like Know lmfao

oh and to be clear i do mean varying strength; people were apparently spotting a leo admin's speech patterns earlier and since leo has such a distinct pattern (tho i'm not fluent in spanish LMAO) i'm inclined to believe that. but yea for a while people seemed to think portuguese=richas and to be fair there weren't many non-english npcs for a WHILE and really no portuguese besides richas (that we knew of) but it does mean i'm a bit more skeptical now when the audience starts trying to clock npc admins lmfao

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

[mercurialsmile]

My First Developed OC

Since some people were curious a long while back, I thought I would write a little bit about my first OC and stuff. 

Because... wow... it’s... a lot... a lot of edge, AUs, changes, and it’s kinda a roller coaster. This is gonna be really long as I am not just talking about my first developed OC, but also my first developed original story. This is gonna get wild. 

For those reasons, I am gonna put ALL of this under a cut~ 

SO I am gonna start at the beginning and I am just gonna warn you; this is VERY LONG as this OC is VERY OLD and has been through A LOT OF CHANGES. 

Now, technically, this isn’t my first OC. I had other OCs before this one, but this one is the first OC who I really went in depth with and got really attached to. 

Now, I created him when I was in 6th grade, when I was 12. This was basically my pre-edge years/the beginnings of my edge/emo years. Three Days Grace was my favorite band, I watched Warriors Cats Scourge AMVs on YouTube, and yeah. That was the time period. Ah, 2009. 

My favorite song at the time was, of course, Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace (typing that was painful hah). So while listening to it, I started to get an idea for my character one day while doing chores around the house (the fact I remember all these little details is weird, isn’t it?). At the time, I was really into The Legend of Spyro games. Like. That was my obsession. My first real fandom too, if you will. 

I was inspired by some other fan stories and fan characters online (mainly DA and a forum site I used to go on) to create my own fanon OC for the series. 

And thus, Broken the Dragon was born. Broken looks like... well... actually I drew him not too long ago to relive old times and he looked basically like this: 

 (Don’t worry, he doesn’t keep that name. Or even species. Or design. Kinda. We’ll get there).

Now, if I’m gonna be honest, the base idea of the story was.... weird. The idea was that the story took place post-Dawn of the Dragon (the last Legend game... which is kinda shit but I’m not getting into fucking. Spyro discourse or whatever I’m Done.) In which the main characters of the game; Spyro and Cynder, end up living in the main city of the game, Warfang. Along them, I also threw characters from the older Spyro series into it- Ember and Flame to be exact. They were all paired up too... because why not. 

The idea of the story was that another evil dragon rises up to wage war from a long-forgotten empire. Broken was an agent of this evil dragon and was sent to trick the four heroes for... some reason... but is outed by another dragon named Sophia. He betrays these five, then leaves back to his master. 

Then a journey begins of the five hero dragons proving to Warfang that they were all in danger, proving this long forgotten empire exists and is trying to wage war, and going back to Sophia’s home land to get help as well. 

While all this is happening, Broken is dealing with his own problems being the right hand dragon of his evil master. This is where the story gets a little more wavering. 

Now, in this original version of the story, Broken belonged to this race of... dark dragons... (look, I was 12/13) who were cast away due to being too dangerous and powerful. Broken, the last of his kind, also was the last who carried this dangerous “dark power” with him (snort). 

 And yeah, this is sounding stupid. Again, I was 12. And this was fanfiction I never really wrote...well... actually, it WAS going to be a comic and I even created several comic pages in a notebook I had. I don’t think I have the notebook anymore, unfortunately. 

Anyways! Broken realizes how unhappy he is with his evil master, his adoptive sister gets killed, his dead mothers visits him in his dreams, and yeah he ends up betraying his evil master and runs away. 

He meets up with the other hero dragons just in time to warn them that the dark army was about to march, and though they don’t trust him at all, allow him to join them to defend the city of Warfang. 

As you can imagine, the heroes win, the bad guys are all killed off, and Broken is hailed as a hero. The end.  

Except not really. 

Now, as stupid as this entire story sounds, by the time I was done developing it and Broken’s back story (which I will get to in a bit), I was VERY attached to Broken. When I started making a sequel to this original story, I cut out ALL the characters except Broken and Sophia, then set the sequel’s story in Sophia’s home land. 

Basically, the sequel was, for the most part, an original story. 

While planning this sequel, I realized this, and decided I wanted to make this entire series completely original with no ties to Spyro at all. This was also when I was finally coming out of my obsession with Spyro. I think I was probably in 7th grade now/8th grade. Probably 8th. 

I went back, changed the characters, created a proper world map, and world built a LOT. Like. Too much. Wayy too much. I was so stuck in world building every detail, a lot of the plot suffered. 

The main, first plot stayed mostly the same. There were... many changes... most of them I can’t completely remember anymore. A couple new characters were introduced (Rising Moon, and another character who’s name wasn’t important but I’m gonna call him Falling Rocks here bc I think that was close to his original name maybe? Both of them were love interests). 

Now, the world building I created for this world was pretty interesting, but I am not gonna go too in-depth with it because this is focused on Broken. 

With the new story and world, Broken’s backstory became more polished and his design got a bit of an upgrade. 

For now, he stayed a dragon, really the only change was that I gave him more scars and that his mouth was... fucked up. His gums were rotten and black, and he had metal fangs drilled into his skull because all his real teeth fell out. 

Now. Back story. 

Broken’s backstory actually didn’t change that much? Actually, it didn’t really change at all, since his backstory is such a big part of his character (lmao as it should be). 

Broken belongs to a species of dragons known as Dark Dragons. A long time ago, during a violent civil war, Inzuktia (The nation’s name... I think...) began to experiment on dragons to try and defeat the rebels. The magical experiments all failed, however, leaving many broken dragons with dangerous, uncontrollable powers. Inzuktia did end up winning the war and defeating the rebels, but they didn’t know what to do with the dragons they experimented on. So they tossed them into a large canyon known as “Dusk’s Strike.” 

They put a magic barrier over the canyon so the trapped dragons couldn’t escape and over time, Inzuktia just kinda forgot about these dragons. 

The dragons didn’t die off completely. They ended up forming a underground civilization in the loosest of terms. Years passed, Inzuktia fell (basically like Rome did lmao) and was a ghost of its former self. The dark dragons, in this time, had begun dwindling, as there was little food and water in the canyon. Dark magic poisoned a lot of the drinking water, and food was scarce, which lead to cannibalism. 

Broken the Dragon was the last Dark Dragon born. He only had his mother, and they were basically the last two alive. Growing up in darkness, with barely any food, and sickly water, Broken didn’t know anything about light or the outside world, and neither did his mother. 

When Broken was around 9, after a very harsh winter, his mother died, and he was forced to eat her corpse to stay alive. This, as you can imagine, broke him (lol), and for many years, he became feral. He lived completely and utterly alone for years till the last leader of New Inzuktia came down to see him and recruit him (I don’t remember this dragon’s name. Just gonna call him Evil Dragon. Yup, same one from the fanfiction story). 

Broken was given to a dragoness, who ended up becoming his sister to him. I don’t remember her name, either, but it was something like Darkness or whatever. Anyways, though he saw her as a sister, she saw him as a lover, and they had a very... interesting relationship. 

Anyways, beyond that, the original story stayed the same. 

Now, you’re probably wondering if Broken has the same “dark powers” as his ancestors had. The answer is yes, but they really... weren’t fleshed out? Basically, Broken has the power to summon/breathe a blue fire that can burn through anything. However, he can’t control it, and it burns him as well when he uses it, hence the burn scars around his mouth. They only react when he is very emotional (of course) which is kinda rare, as Broken has a perfect poker face, and has learned how to hide every emotion he feels. 

That being said, he still feels emotion, it just never shows on his face. He doesn’t know HOW to show his emotions. 

Yeah, it’s real dark and edgy. 

And this is where his story... splinters... a lot. I had a lot of story ideas, tried to use all of them, and thus there are a LOT of timelines in his story, a lot of drafts, and the like. 

Now, the original story follows the original sequel idea in which Broken goes to Sophia’s homeland. He is... very mentally scarred and Aria’s homeland is known for its healing and is pretty much the leading country in therapy as well. 

Rising Moon is assigned as his therapist for.. reasons. I mean she is still a student technically and like. 16/17 but she is assigned as his therapist anyways. 

This sequel is... quite stupid. There’s this weird love triangle/rectangle between Sophia, Falling Rocks, and Broken. Rising Moon falls in love with Broken. Broken is jealous because he is in love with Sophia and Sophia is in love with Falling Rocks, and Falling Rocks despises Broken because... reasons. He’s racist. Idk. 

There’s a lot of pointless drama. Broken suffers a lot from heartbreak and jealousy, and then dead dragons start showing up around the village. People blame Broken, but as it turns out, it’s actually Broken’s father! (y E A H it’s DUMB) Broken’s father somehow left Dusk’s Strike. Who knows how it’s never really touched upon. He’s totally crazy and he was killing dragons because you know. He’s crazy!

Yeah, poor villain I know. 

Anyways no one really believes Broken, he’s run out of town, Rising Moon is kidnapped by Broken’s father, Broken goes to rescue her, and kills his father, then takes his body and Rising Moon back to the village to prove his innocence.

Broken is taken back, people trust him now (except Falling Rocks ofc) and Rising Moon admits she’s in love with her patient. 

Yeah it’s. Kinda fucked up. 

Now, if all THAT sounds bad, the story becomes even more broken (haha) after this. 

Broken gets worse instead of better for reasons he can’t explain. He’s still in love with Sophia and jealous of Falling Rocks. Falling Rocks finally decides he really can’t stand Broken and tries to off him. No one cares to listen when Broken tries to report him- everyone but Rising Moon, that is- and Sophia gets pissed at Broken for believing that. 

Now, instead of anything rational or logical happening here, Broken decides that he is sick of Falling Rocks and murders him brutally and sends his soul to this world’s version of Hell using magic (yup). 

During this, Rising Moon is the only one who knows Broken murdered Falling Rocks as she walked in on the murder scene. She keeps his secret, helps him cover up the murder, and this is when they finally get together. 

As you can imagine, Sophia ends up figuring out what happened and is distraught. 

The... story gets even more broken after this. 

Rising Moon and Broken are nearly killed or something, but instead of dying they get sent to the future or something via magic...? And find out that the entire world is in ruins and that an evil, insane version of Broken is ruling over it all. 

They scramble around in the future as well. Rising Moon is dead, Broken is in danger as literally every dragon on the planet wants to kill him, and they eventually get to the castle where Future!Broken is as that’s the only place they can get back home... somehow. 

Future!Broken and Broken end up fighting, Broken almost ends up dying as Future!Broken is a lot more powerful- his dark power is purple instead of blue and he can control it- but Rising Moon steps in and shocks Future!Broken enough so she can save Broken.

See, Future!Broken is still in love with her. 

Broken and Rising Moon get back to their timeline, and through... idk magic and visions and other shit find out that it’s not just a dark future- the magic between alternate timelines is failing and it will cause their timeline to fuse with a timeline in which Broken is evil. This somehow leads to Broken going insane and killing Rising Moon then taking over the world. 

Yes, I know NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE also understand I was in middle school when writing this. 

Also it’s soooo fucking edgy I want to cry but welp. 

Anyways this is KINDA where a split happens as there is two versions of the end of this timeline of the main story- the happy end and the depressing one. 

In the happy end, Rising Moon and Broken end up doing some Grade A Magical Bullshit so that Broken defeats his evil side/twin/dimension thing and they run off together to become nomads and everything is happy and great as Broken is the center of the universe and legit the only difference in that entire alternate timeline was that he was evil. 

In the sad timeline, Rising Moon and Broken fail, she dies, and Broken goes to take over the world. 

Rebels fight against him (Sophia is one of them) but they constantly fail. The entire dark future comes true, Broken builds a castle of dark crystals as his fortress, and he basically broods for the rest of his days. 

That is, until, Rising Moon is reborn as Iris, a special golden dragon with light powers. She is trained in secret to kill Broken. 

She ends up facing Broken off in a fight. Broken, for SOME goddamn reason, I guess for love?? Realizes it’s Rising Moon and he can’t stand killing her. 

Iris knows that Broken can’t be reborn like she can because he’s a dark dragon. Why she knows this, I got NO fucking clue. She puts him in a deep slumber and lies and explains that Broken is basically a god and she can’t kill him.

Broken is locked in his own fortress under the most powerful spells and is left to rot. The world rejoices, and Iris helps rebuild the world. 

Jump hundreds of years into the future, the magic finally wears off and Broken wakes up. Except now he has amnesia. Of course. Also he somehow lost all his powers due to said amnesia so he’s weak.

He leaves his now ruined fortress and wanders the world. Most dragons kinda fail to recognize him, tho some do and spread fearful rumors. 

Another incarnation of Rising Moon finds him and it’s basically instalove between the two and she does end up healing him more or less and Broken and her end up living together peacefully until the end of their days. Broken never recovers his lost memories, but he does know what he did and is remorseful. The end. 

Yeah this version still ends kinda happily. 

And as you can tell, this story is very very broken. 

Now, there are other drafts of this. In the second draft, Broken instead goes with Izuktians who surrendered at the war back to Izukia to rebuild it. The exact same shit happens, it’s just in a new setting and there’s a couple more side plots with Broken being outcasted by the Izuktians and many Izuktians disliking him due to how he treated them when he was still evil from before. 

There’s a human version of this story in which the entire dark future shit is dropped and instead, Broken (now Braxous as a human) and Rising Moon (now Reluz) run away and are tracked down. In the happy version they fake their deaths after killing Falling Rocks and end up having children together, in the bad version both of them are killed and justice is served.

More subplots are piled up too such as a civil war happening in Sophia’s (now Aria’s) home country and shit. But yeah. 

There are a lot of other pieces to this hot, flaming mess but I don’t really remember them or know how to describe them. But I think you can tell that this is a complete mess. Over the years I’ve tried to salvage something outta this. There are bits and pieces of ideas I really like! World building ideas, at least. Nothing really from the story. Unfortunately, it just hasn’t been working out for me, and I’ve kinda accepted that I probably won’t ever get this story together. 

But that’s okay. I worked on this story from 6th grade to roughly 10th grade or so. That’s about four years, maybe five. And I had a lot of fun with it. It’s what really got me into storytelling, what made me really want to write, and is kinda what kicked off the idea of writing novels and original stories (which I have returned to as of last year or so).

As terrible as these ideas and this story is, it still does mean a lot to me, and it still holds a special place in my heart. The characters are also quite dear to me as well- at least Braxous (Broken) and Reluz (Rising Moon). 

Though I will never really work on this story ever again, I do keep it in mind and close to my heart.