#which is why i like the catholic veneration of mary. idk.
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jesus was a psychotic (has beliefs outside of what is accepted by power structures due to an openness that runs both ways) political dissident and is also my husband but also me but also i’m only a vessel for what was a vessel herself (st.catherine lol) and he’s waiting for me to come back and that’s why i feel such intense loneliness around people. next question. *skips giddily*
#we are both vessels for our fathers and weren’t asked about it#also used by things we have no interest in supporting#i believe modern christianity worships a god of war and not what actually created everything#it’s been co opted by men.#jesus is only a man bc she knew no one would listen as a woman. if they did they would have heard his mother.#which is why i like the catholic veneration of mary. idk.#i think wearing a cross is ghoulish but a crucifix is so literal it reminds you of suffering in your stead.#whatever i know it’s all narcissistic and embarrassing but i have the Reconciliation Instinct.#i think jesus is at least one of the fish that schools around me.#as the thought process that makes you think you’re dying for others will divide you into little pieces.#but if you’re aware enough you will still be in all of them. it’s a way of clearing yourself.#that’s enough for now. i’m going back to the front of my brain.
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Rebooting My Practice
This is going to be pretty rambly, but I always get a lot out of these posts when other people make them so I wanted to make one too.
I hit a point earlier this year, as I started to really see what all astrology could be, when I knew I was going to need to overhaul pretty much my entire practice. For the last decade, I've focused on divination; on doing activities that sharpen my intuition, following up and checking predictions, tracking cards and results to better understand the connection, etc. I did this primarily in the service of my main deity, the Morrigan.
I still work with her, but I'm in a lurch as to how to continue my work with her. I have yet to quite figure out how to balance her general distaste for shrines (with me at least) and deepening my relationship with her in the absence of local folks to read for as I've relied on for years (thanks COVID). I've been praying the Catholic Rosary lately as a way to deepen my relationship with the Virgin Mary and the Saint I'm petitioning lately and I feel her kind of peering in when I do that so I might have to design one for her. I have a feeling whatever I come up with will likely be in a free zine rather than a blog post at some point.
But where that left me was in this weird abyss, where the only really solid things in my practice were like 3 deities (The Morrigan, Hermes, Yinepu/Anubis) I worked with regularly and tarot cards. I think for plenty of people that's fine but I wanted something deeper and more effective. It was around the time that I was rethinking everything that I stumbled on to this post about a magical routine that absolutely enthralled me. It took me another month and ultimately moving house altogether to even begin to piece something together that would set me on the road to something like this. I knew I was not ready but I finally had a picture in my mind something to work towards. Like rehabilitating after an injury, sometimes you've got to do half as much as you think you can before you really take off.
So I wanted to take some time and talk about the way my practice is changing and what the new pillars are slowly emerging to be.
Planetary Petitions
While I don't have the Orphic Hymns for each of the 7 classical planets memorized yet as per the post, I started by doing planetary prayers more days than I do not do them. Thanks to my truly godawful downstairs neighbor at the new place, who's floor shaking door slams throughout the whole night have netted me an average of 3 hours a night, I'm usually up for the first planetary hour of a given day. Hey maybe it's a sign, a big universal push to show the fuck up.
I'm also incredibly lucky I loaded up on some planetary incenses right before COVID when a local store had a huge sale. It's proved well worth it as above all I try to get the planetary incense right, though I did have to default to a Frankincense one when we were first moving in. I slowly feel like I'm beginning to understand the planetary spirits better but only slightly. I completely see why memorizing the prayer is recommended and I do feel that's standing in the way of me being closer with them.
I have not noticed a huge difference when I petition them truthfully. I get the vibe that it takes time to build up that relationship. Though I'm open to input here - for those who do planetary petitions, what made them click for you?
Saint Veneration + Christian Magic
One thing I put off for many years, though I knew it was coming, was working with more Saints. I knew it'd likely involve having to dip back into Christianity to make it work and I was completely right.
As my partner began revisiting her Catholic roots earlier this year, it got me curious about things like the Rosary, the Chaplet, and Novenas. I was raised charismatic fundamentalist Christian as a child and such things were explicitly forbidden. I remember getting a long talking to when I'd taken to reading about Sainte Jeanne d'Arc. So they aren't loaded for me the way they are for others, but they’re situated in this fundamentally familiar context that makes them feel like meeting a cool branch of the family you didn't realize existed.
I'm finishing a Novena to a Saint I've been praying to in the next few weeks. I am admittedly not as close with her as I'd like to be. I'm trying to figure out how to move forward with her as I'd really like to have her in my life. I will probably reach back out to Sainte Jeanne d'Arc as she's always felt familiar and been good to me. I also keep her prayer card and medallion in my wallet and have for many years so maybe there's more to build from there. It is my goal to have about 3 saints/Christian figures I can call on when I need help. I'm thinking of approaching Mary Undoer of Knots next but I'm worried it'll follow the same path as this current saint.
My partner and I bought Rosaries back in May and I absolutely love it. I've been saying at least a 5 decade rosary for most days but I'm regularly getting in a 15 decade rosary. I really love it and am totally convinced of the beauty and effectiveness of the system. I've come to understand Christianity in a totally different light through praying it regularly.
So that is on going and evolving and I'd love to hear from people who've cultivated close relationships with a Saint or Angel.
Ancestors
One thing that working with Christianity again has made easier is praying to ancestors. I've often felt a bit at odds with my own ancestors as they were not the most supportive of trans and queer people (and I am both of those) but in coming back to Christianity has given me and my ancestors a common language almost. As long as my disagreement with them over my attraction and gender identity is rooted in the Bible, it's been easier to work with them.
It's very early days with ancestor work. I'm slowly working my way through Ancestral Healing by Daniel Foor. But I'm feeling very heartened by it. I saw a post on twitter somewhere, if I can find it again I'll link it, where someone said that the way they started working with their ancestors was just thanking them everyday. And thanking my ancestors is complicated for me, my family like most have their own issues that also go passed on, but thanking them for what I am glad they gave me has been really beneficial.
My partner requested some divination from me when some of her medical issues were starting to get worse and part of the reading involved a strong push for her to investigate her father's side of the family. She got really into genealogy in the process and she's been teaching me a lot. Through that I actually learned my great grandfather's name for the first time - yes that's how out of touch I am with my own family history. But I was thankful to find out.
Through her own research, my partner found out that that branch of her family likely isn't German but actually German speaking Hungarians which was a revelation. She's in the process of confirming but it got us talking about foods and identity and language and how to honor our ancestors more regularly. We're going to try making a nice dinner on Full Moons with dishes that are tied to branches of our family as a way to trying to cultivate a closer relationship with them. I'll definitely update on that as it evolves.
Conclusion + Some Thoughts on Disability
I'm definitely still in the early days of all of this. It's not become quite the foundation I hope it will be yet. I still need to figure out how to continue and deepen my deity relationships. I still need to attempt some different types of spellwork I've been meaning to. And while I didn't talk about it much here, astrology has been playing a huge role in my practice but mostly in a passive way. More of that divination process I talked about in the beginning where I make predictions based on the charts I'm seeing and then double check my work.
I’ve been doing all this while in the thick of a bad flare. Moving plus lack of sleep as meant my disability has been weighing so much harder on me lately. Normally when I’m feeling well enough, I kind of roll my eyes at a lot of the “spoonie witchcraft” posts I see, but for some reason with this flare they just started making me angry and I’m still trying to parse why. I think I just feel like so many are rooted in this performative idea of “feeling” witchy rather than actually helping me with my disability. They aren’t usually focused on practices that either actually treat the pain I’m in or bring my spirit real comfort.
I’m really hoping to put together a post or possibly a zine that does provide what I always wanted those posts to be. Honestly these pillars here have proven accessible even as I’ve been in some of the worst pain I’ve been in in years. So for any fellow disabled folks who just aren’t getting much out of those posts, I really recommend starting with these. Recite the Orphic Hymn for the day in the corresponding hour. Pray the Rosary or an adapted set of prayers for Pagan prayer beads. Don’t have much money for those? Look up how to make knotted rosaries and adapt the method. Pray to your ancestors and give them some water and a bit to eat. These are doable for a lot of folks even when they’re in bad shape, especially if you take your time with it. Might not make you “feel witchy” but they do some fucking work, that’s for sure. But idk, those are just my thoughts on it.
So it hasn't all fallen into place yet but I wanted to share what developing a practice looks like in medias res. It's messy, somethings work better than others, but all and all I'm just glad to finally be making meaningful progress again.
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Ty! What about marian prayers? Ive heard ppl say that prayers with saints/mary didnt start til.. roughly 200 or 300 after the Resurrection and thats a reason to think its a pagan carry over (which, isnt always bad ofc..). ive heard the example in revelation and in maccabees of the cloud of witnesses and such, but those dont seem very.. explict? Idk, whats ur take? - c
We don’t really know when exactly people started venerating the Theotokos, quite possibly it was there in some form from the beginning but it seemed to have started at least with Justin Martyr (100–165) who outlined Mary's role in salvation history as the “Second Eve”. Irenæus (130–202) then continued to further define Mary’s role in the Church as that Eve. Irenæus spoke about the contrast between Eve and Mary, showing the difference between the faithlessness of the former with the faithfulness of the latter. The First Council of Nicaea (325) ruled on the dogma of the virginal conception of Jesus. The Council of Ephesus (431) cemented her the title of “Theotokos” (God Bearer) as official dogma and the Second Council of Constantinople (553) declared her perpetual virginity (”ever virgin”) as dogma also.
The oldest known prayer to Mary is the “Beneath Thy Compassion”, it is also the oldest preserved extant hymn to Mary as Theotokos. It dates to 201-300 AD.
Beneath your compassion, We take refuge, O Theotokos: do not despise our petitions in time of trouble: but rescue us from dangers, only pure, only blessed one.
I don’t know a lot specifically which is why I’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for a while but...I think people always knew Mary was important, I mean without her there would have been no Christ. As for the Biblical evidence for her veneration, there is plenty to suggest she was important and imbued with influence and power. I think we always knew her place but it just took some time for us to write it down and make it official.
I realized there is kind of a gap in my knowledge. I was raised vaguely Roman Catholic so sometimes I forget and take for granted that people don’t just assume the Theotokos is important and impossible to separate from her son. Like the Trinity and the Theotokos just made sense pre-conversion thanks to my vague Roman Catholic background, but then I try and explain them and I’m like OH. So I hope that helps a little?
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