#which is that life gets and hard you want direction n comfort via faith

[welcometogrouchland]

Does life ever get so bad that you want to start hanging out at church/mass again?? Like not really for spiritual reasons (kind of but not really but maybe but no) but more for nostalgia reasons

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 8

Cult girl and Hannibal go through an exhaustive list of potential adoptive couples. 

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warning: sexual harassment, christianity, discussion of pregnancy and family planning, adoption, murder and cannibalism 

Step two: find an adoptive family.

Some would say your list of expectations for potential adoptive parents was too extensive. Impossible for any human to reach. But it was really just the bare minimum.

Regardless of if they were two men, two women, one of each, or a few people, the parents had to be trustworthy. It wasn't easy to earn Hannibal's trust, but he could recognize those who had the capacity to right away. It was a little instinct you had dubbed 'friend or food'.

On paper, the apostolic pastor and his wife of 19 years seemed like the perfect candidates. The adoption agency tried to push them on you, as they had a great track record with adopting from them prior. Three boys, all of which were honors students.

Hannibal insisted on a formal introduction, during which you could conduct a proper, though surreptitious, interview. It was an invitation to dinner.

He invited the couple into his office, where a pot of tea and an interrogation was waiting for them. Then there was you. Barely-pregnant little [F/N], feeling entirely safe so long as your fiancé was beside you.

"You're doing the right thing, y'know." The woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Landon, said upon meeting you.

"How do you mean?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

"All god's life is precious." She said, placing a hand on your not-even-remotely-showing-yet stomach. "You're walking in obedience to the lord by giving this child a shot at life."

Strike one: bringing up religion unprompted. Strike two: touching me without asking first.

You wanted to swat her hand away, but remembered that patience was a virtue. She and her husband took a seat across from you.

"Y'know," The man began, his mannerisms eerily similar to those of his wife. "I don't usually begin with the god talk, but I think a higher power had to have been involved in the conception of this- well, our child. I'd like to think the good lord brought us together today."

Strike three: already believes he is entitled to my child. You're outta here.

"Don't flatter the adoption agency like that, Jacob." Hannibal chuckled, placing his teacup on the side table.

"I'm serious, Dr. Lecter." Jacob interjected. "Faith and I really do believe that god put us on this earth to prepare his smallest soldiers for the spiritual war."

You shot Hannibal a side glance that said 'can we please just eat them now?'.

The answer was no. Hannibal liked to play with his food.

"And your adult children have all moved out?" He asked.

"That's right." Jacob nodded. "We have plenty of room in our five-bedroom house for the new little slugger to run around in."

"And if it's a girl!" The wife interrupted. "We have enough closet space for all the denim maxi-skirts money could buy."

Strike four: arbitrarily genders the behavior of a nine-week-old embryo.

The man then returned the teacup to the table, not bothering to use the saucer and instead leaving a nasty ring of condensation on the polished mahogany.

"Okay." Hannibal huffed, resignedly rising from his seat. He pulled two hypodermic needles from his back pocket and carefully, subtly stuck them onto the couples' necks. They couldn't even scream.

The tacos al pastor that followed (after a few days of marinating, of course) were exquisite.

The next week brought a new couple to your doorstep. Frank and Angela, they were named. Their claim to fame was that their oldest son played football for one of those big southern party schools. Either Auburn or Alabama. There was hardly a difference.

You sat for what felt like hours listening to the man speak in unintelligible football babble, waiting for him to take a breath. Surprisingly, it was the mom who got him to finally shut up.

"Frank, please." She said with more frustration than this one situation even remotely warranted. Either she had enough intuition to know she was being tested, or she’d spent the last decade putting up with this. Possibly both. "You're boring our hosts to death."

"What? No way! She loves it!" Frank replied, then turned to you. Not to Hannibal, just you. “Aren’t you having a great time, sweetheart?” 

Strike one: takes advantage of the female socialization to be passive and polite, allowing himself to take up the most space.

You shook your head. “I hate football.” 

His wife looked quite pleased with herself. 

“Angie, I just wanted her to know what good breeding her son is going to have.” He said, without a lick of irony or self-awareness. He eyed you up and down and licked his lips. “And it is mutual, I see.” 

The room went quiet as everyone tried to determine whether he was serious or if it was just a fucked-up joke. The longer the silence lingered, the more you realized he wasn’t kidding. Angela looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I don’t know what the agency told you, Mr. Wyatt,” Hannibal said, trying not to grit his teeth. “She isn’t a surrogate. She’s already pregnant.” 

Frank’s jaw hung dumbly open. “I thought you were looking for a sperm donor? I just-” 

“No.” You cut him off, raising your hand and covering your face. “I don’t want to know what you thought.” 

“Well, I would!” Angela interjected, righteous fury eclipsing what should have been crippling embarrassment. “What exactly did you think this was, Francis?” 

“The file said that he was over fifty, so I just assumed--” Frank rationalized, his voice far too loud for the room. “Y’know? That she wanted a baby that wouldn’t come out all funny-looking?” 

“You’re disgusting.” You blurted out. 

“Francis Howard Wyatt,” Angela scolded as if she were talking to her son. “You are forty-eight and the only increasing part of your body is your blood pressure. Why on Earth would any woman choose you over her smart, handsome doctor fiancé?”

This made Hannibal sit up a little straighter. He wanted Francis on the butcher’s block yesterday, but he momentarily considered letting Angela live. 

“They’re not married?” Frank whispered, or whatever the loud-aggressive-toxic-masculinity version of whispering was. He paused, as the dead hamster on the wheel powering his brain crept back to life. “That actually makes sense.” 

Angela loudly smacked her hand against her face. “Dr. Lecter, Ms. [L/N], I am so sorry.” 

“It’s quite alright, Mrs. Wyatt.” Hannibal stood up, readying the next batch of needles. “It just makes what I’m about to do easier.” 

It took quite a bit of restraint to not make their deaths hurt, but he made up for it when it came time to carve. He had fun running his fittingly small penis through a meat grinder. Not with any intent to cook it, though. Just because. 

Hannibal wanted to make Francis Wyatt into the least dignified meal imaginable. You quickly recalled going to a friend’s barbeque in Georgia and encountering a horrendously Southern delicacy known as Frito Pie. You proposed the idea to Hannibal, who, after reviling in abject horror at the notion of eating something out of a bag, agreed that it was the most fitting end. He could spare a few pounds of flesh to grind up and make into chili. 

The third week brought yet another couple. They seemed smart enough to realize your invitation wasn't the friendly olive branch the others had interpreted it as. Their healthy skepticism was refreshing, to say the least. Then, you met them: Max and Archie.

"You'll have to forgive my partner's paranoia." Max said upon entering the house. He tugged playfully at Archie's hand. "We watched Get Out recently, so an invitation to the suburbs sounded some alarms in his sleep-deprived brain."

"I love that movie." You chimed in. "It reminds me of my family."

"Oh no." Archie's eyes widened in only half-pretend fear. He shot an I-told-you-so look in his partner's direction. 

"But my favorite horror flick has to be Midsommar." You added. "My friends and I saw a midnight screening and we didn't sleep at all that night."

"But have you seen Hereditary?" Archie posited.

"Of course." You shrugged. "Aster is totally genius."

You made more than just polite conversation with the couple. Max, despite his young age, was a skilled data analyst and day trader. He attributed his success to the hard work of his immigrant parents. Archie was an environmental lawyer and land activist. He was also a bit of a thrill junkie, indulging in everything from scary movies to bungee jumping.

It didn't take long to realize that you wouldn't be eating them. They were far too pleasant of company to eat.

"So when is this baby planning to make its entrance?" Archie asked, gesturing to you. "You don’t look all that pregnant to me."

You put your hand over your slightly-protruding stomach. "Late August, I believe. If everything goes according to plan."

"You're not far along at all, aren’t you?" Max observed. "That gives us plenty of time to prove ourselves to you."

"Believe me." You put up your hand. "You're doing a great job so far."

“If you like horror stories, we might have to indulge you in the last two encounters we had.” Hannibal commented, leaning back comfortably in his chair. That was a good sign. “No blood was spilled, thank god. Would have ruined my carpets. But believe me when I tell you it came very close.” 

The couple laughed along. Archie leaned in like he was about to tell a life-shattering secret. “You wouldn’t believe the hoops we had to jump through to even have the chance to adopt. And I don’t want to say that it’s because we’re an interracial gay couple, but...” 

“Agencies aren’t exactly colorblind.” You finished, via his prompting. 

“She gets it.” Archie pointed to you. “See, Maxie? She agrees with me.” 

Max pushed his glasses up his nose. “I never said I disagreed.” 

You spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the conversation to take a sharp left turn off a cliff, but it didn’t happen. They were wonderful company; polite, intelligent and articulate. Exactly the kind of people you’d want to see taking care of your child. 

You’d have to look for you next meal elsewhere. 

[northernirishboy-blog]

‘The Worthiness Interview’: The Process

TO BEGIN...

Over the course of 8 weeks, Charlotte, Bryony, Jessica, Lou & I were to create a Studio Theatre Production based on a story we had been told by another person in our year group, with freedom on storyline, style, form & genre of the piece. (07/10/16)

Once we were put into our groups, we began brainstorming different ideas for the storyline of the piece. This began our rehearsal process...

BRAINSTORMING…

The themes we came up with that we could create a story around were:

1. Religion (questioning religion/loss of faith)

2. Conflict (inner/world)

3. Family life (generational views)

 To begin with, I wrote a prayer. As I am not religious; I thought it might be useful to write a prayer to maybe gain some insight into how a religious person thinks when they are praying. Also, as members of my family are churchgoers, I decided to ask them their opinion on prayer and why they pray? (07/10/16)

We then decided to look at what inspiration there was to create a piece of drama about religion:

1. 'The Events' (D. Greig, 2013)

2. 'The Color Purple' (A. Walker, 1982)

3. Religion as an excuse

4. Prioritising religion (“belief over blood”) (14/10/16)

 After brainstorming, we were sure we wanted to create and perform a piece about family.

We then decided to look up bible quotes to read religions view on family:

1. 1 Timothy 5:8

2. Colossions 3:20

3. Proverbs 11:29

4. Titus 2:4

 After coming up with the theme for the piece, we then needed to think of a direction for the piece to go in. We wanted to look at people bound by religion, a potential mother/daughter relationship, breaking of rules, family life disintegration, generational views, and a potential abandonment of religion.

We wanted for the piece to show it from the daughter’s perspective. The pressures of family life, the potential for pilgrimage, and the potential for a worthiness interview if part of the Mormon faith. (19/10/16)

 AIMS…

Our projects aims were to get the audience thinking about religion in a good way. Religion is always perceived in a bad light, that it’s strict and unfair. However we wanted to show that even though yes there are rules, people can still be religious in today’s society, which is full of influence with world culture.

We wanted to structure it in a way that would show the progression of one girl’s story from wanting to be the best religious child, being a good example, but that she wasn’t being honest in her answers during a worthiness interview. Therefore, by the end of the piece, she asks to start the interview again and this time she’ll be honest, and not just give the perfect answers she has rehearsed over and over again for the interview.

We wanted to create a piece of theatre that would get our audience thinking.

 WHERE IT FITS WITHIN THE WIDER WORLD OF DRAMA PRACITICES…

It’s quite hard to pin exactly where this project fits within the wider world of drama practices. We aimed to create an abstract piece with plenty of physicality and movement, that was effective and portrayed our message to its audience.

Religion is a tricky subject, and you often don't see devised drama about religion, so we wanted to create something special in the time that we had which might teach our audience about religion and the pressures many religious children face in current times.

   KEY DRAMA THEORISTS...

Almost like epic theatre, which was a theatrical movement proposed by Bertolt Brecht. We wanted the audience not to identity emotionally with the main character or any other character in the piece, but to provoke a moment of self-reflection & a rational and critical view of the action that was taking place on stage.

But then it could identify with Theatre of the Absurd.

The Theatre of the Absurd is a post–World War II designation for particular plays of absurdist fiction written by a number of primarily European playwrights in the late 1950s, as well as one for the style of theatre which has evolved from their work.

Critic Martin Esslin coined the term in his 1960 essay 'The Theatre of the Absurd'. He related these plays based on a broad theme of the Absurd. The Absurd in these plays takes the form of man’s reaction to a world or man as a puppet controlled by other forces. Some characteristics coincide in many plays: characters caught in hopeless situations forced to do repetitive or meaningless actions; dialogue full of clichés, and nonsense; plots that are absurdly expansive. (http://web.iitd.ac.in/~angelie/courses_files/TOA/esslin%20essay%20tdr.pdf)

 In his 1965 book, Absurd Drama, Esslin wrote:

Our piece could be associated with Theatre of the absurd because it was a light hearted approach to a serious subject.

We wanted to include light-hearted moments within the piece. For example, in a scene about abiding by the law of chastity, we had George Thorogood’s ‘Bad To the Bone’ playing with the parents acting sexually towards each other before getting up and dancing to Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’. We wanted the audience to see the humour inside a sensitive topic. (04/11/16)

It could also be argued that our piece was farcical...

 REHEARSAL DIARY...

 We wanted to make our piece quite physical with lots of movement and ensemble work. So we started with a movement workshop.

1. Statue workshop (elements of story and character) using words of sentences to form a picture.

2. Lifts from one side of the room to the other

3. Lifts in a square, getting person from you to the next point in the square.

4. Frantic assembly, hands

5. Sculptures/morphing – change persons posture/expression, giving a reason behind the change of position.

 This is when we came up with the idea of the worthiness interview storyline, where she has practiced the answers to much that she isn't being honest with herself. (21/10/16)

GENRES…

We were then posed with the problem of how we explore more than one genre on stage, without mixing the two and confusing our audience. This proved difficult for us.

1. Abstract

2. Realism

3. Naturalism

We researched the questions that are asked in a worthiness interview.

1. Do you believe in God, the eternal father, his son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost?

2. Do you live the law of chastity?

3. Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man?

4. Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the church? (http://zelophehadsdaughters.com/)

There are 11 questions asked at a worthiness interview so we focused on ones we thought were most relevant. (21/10/16)

  Charlotte was friendly with a guy who used to practice the Mormon faith so we got in contact with him via email and a telephone call to ask him questions.

Even though it was based around the Mormon faith’s worthiness interview, we wanted to make the responses almost universal for any religion.

We got a fantastic insight into his religion and their rules:

·   They had rules like no tea, coffee or sugary drinks as it affects brain chemistry.

·   Read a chapter of the bible each month – this took priority over school work.

·   “felt like church was the only thing in your life”

·   Temple recommend was your passport into the temple

·   Conversations were kept private; cannot talk about it to anyone else.

·   He felt a “growing hatred”, “parents felt abandoned”, “child rejected what they held close in their hearts”, “it was awkward”, “individual identity”

  Other information we got on the worthiness interview was:

·   2 interviews – one with local bishop to check you’re mature enough. Second is with state presidency – this is the commital.

·   100% committing – you can open up completely in a safe area

·   14+

·   You don’t have to quote the bible – purely personal, can reference but not necessary.

·   5-60 mins long.

·   In a comfortable environment – a place you can open up and be safe. Ranges from  conference rooms to coffee shops.

·   Encouraged to come back if you do not pass first time.

 This information was vital for our piece. (26/10/16)

SET…

The set consisted of 5 wooden chairs and a rug at the front of the performance space. We wanted to have a simple set, so not to confuse the audience. We would just have to show the different places in which the scenes were taking place.

On the mat – worthiness interview (naturalism)

Off the mat – ranged from family home to boys on a bus (abstract) (01/11/16)

 MOTIFS…

We originally had the motif of continuous writing throughout the piece: based on 'The Color Purple' – expresses feeling better through writing. Writing is almost like prayer. This idea was not followed through. (14/10/16)

 INSPIRATION…

·   The "boys on the bus" scene was taken from real life conversation that was head on a train by Bryony. We added movements and ad lib into the scene to emphasise the ‘lad’ culture. (01/11/16) 

·   Family scene, we gained inspiration from the Wardrobe Ensemble’s performance of ‘1972: The Future of Sex’ (04/11/16)

·   We wanted quite a stylised family scene.

·   Metronome – regimented and strict.

·   Builds conflict and tension.

·  Parents meeting – we wanted to show in this scene that the parents abided by the law of chastity, however they had their own struggles just like the girl has in her own life. She isn’t on her own in this situation. (04/11/16)

 ANALYSIS...

What went well?

What didn't?

Why?

If I had to do it again what would I change?

Personal development

 BIBLIOGRAPHY...

Esslin, M. 'Absurd Drama' (1965), Indiana University, USA: Penguin Books.

Esslin, M. 'The Theatre of the Absurd' essay (1960): http://web.iitd.ac.in/~angelie/courses_files/TOA/esslin%20essay%20tdr.pdf

Greig, D. 'The Events' (2013). UK: Faber & Faber

Walker, A. 'The Color Purple' (1982), USA: W&N

http://theatrenerds.com/

http://zelophehadsdaughters.com/