#which is some sort of moral deficiency by proxy and not because of any other factors

[a-field-of-dragonflowers]

officially joined the hypermobile EDS club today. Can’t wait to go tell my PCP that, yes, all of my “random” chronic joint pain, GI issues, migraines, bruising, cardiovascular, and menstrual issues with normal blood tests are not, in fact, because I’m a “lazy fat woman” trying to absolve myself from the guilt associated with my own life habits, but because I have a genuine medical condition. (Like I’ve been trying to tell them this whole time).

Shout out to my geneticist who told me to look her in the face and made me promise to never let another doctor tell me I’m crazy because it’s now medically documented BS, and that I was never crazy in the first place. (Along with a nice rant about the quality of the US medical system in general).

[professorbussywinkle]

So lemme tell you something about ADHD

I study pharmacology and neurochemistry as my special interest and I wanna enlighten people as to why, under the threat of punishment for us not being able to focus when a task needs done, or that when we become frustrated at ourselves for our inability to focus and complete tasks, that all of a sudden we become

✨ able to focus ✨

Adrenaline and dopamine are best friends, when one releases, usually so does the other. Fear is an emotional stimuli that is heavily adrenaline based. When people have a dopamine deficiency, the primary way people become able to focus is by self stimulating some form of excitatory response in ourselves such as anger, fear excitement, etc. thereby granting us a burst of dopamine and allowing us to focus on something, which is also why we suddenly become able to complete a task under the pressure of a timed deadline

Fear based urgency also triggers a powerful adrenergic response, boosting dopamine levels by proxy, creating the neurochemical environment, that, in a fucked up harmful way, allows us to focus, execute, and accomplish things

So when this happens, what comes next out of peoples mouths is...

"Ha! See! I knew you could focus if you just put your mind to it, you were just choosing not to"

And this perception fundamentally ignores a very important fact, that if I'm right about this...raises a deeper question towards our views on free will...

That actually, people don't just simply choose to focus by activating some sort of nebulous god given free will discipline muscles to maintain focus on something cuz it needs to get done, and that in fact, our brains neurochemical environment disrupts what we wish to will for ourselves by intermediating dopaminergic executive ability, and that our brains, In a way, have to actually allow focus to happen by triggering particular sets of adrenergic stimuli for maintaining proper levels of sustained dopamine release through things such as fear, anger, anxiety, upset, or excitement

So Y'all really, for the sake of your overall mental health, need to know that It's not your fault that your brain depletes the reserves of the chemical required to allow us to focus on something, feel rewarded, and calm, our particular behaviors we exhibit and employ to excite ourselves is what is required in order for us to function, you are not a failure, please try and cease any moralizing of your ability/inability to focus, shaming yourself for some shit that really ain't your fault doesn't make sense, you don't have bad character because you're brain doesn't allow you to focus