#which is so fucking funny to me because aside from these really loaded moments?? theyre chilling most of the time

[jabberwockprince]

apparently it's way easier to plan scenes and plotpoints for a fanfic if i draw them first, so here we are <3 featuring me rambling abt this scene under the cut!!

i was specifically thinking about Haym and Rikki's entire relationship?

especially very early on, right when Rikki is properly assigned as Neon J's apprentice and whatnot. this was meant to be the moment Rikki realizes they're not coping very well with leaving Ban behind in Beachside Archipelago, and how they're actually gravitating towards Haym because of how similar he feels to Ban - yknow. being the same model and all

cause Rikki has some serious issues with needing absolute control over every aspect of their life. and right now, they're stuck with a job they don't exactly care for, trying desperately to suck up to Neon J so he'll actually promote Rikki to a DECENT job designing security bots for Vinyl City, not BABYSITTING 1010

(which isn't even babysitting, moreso than being monitored 24/7 in a localized space where they can't be shady since Neon J doesnt. trust them. at all. for various valid reasons)

so witnessing Haym pull some stupid but well-meaning stunt to force Rikki show off how good they are at fixing and repairing shit makes Rikki go????

A LITTLE FERAL????

BECAUSE THEY UNCONSCIOUSLY PROJECT ALL THEIR UNRESOLVED FEELINGS ABOUT BAN ONTO HAYM

but they only realize this when their body shuts down and cannot act the way they would've wanted, seeing Haym entirely fucking wrecked being very similar to how they found Ban when they first met makes them spiral a little

Haym doesn't even KNOW he's not the original Yellow model, he has his suspicions but is overall kept in the dark. befriending Rikki is something he does entirely out of genuine curiosity, motherfucker has no clue he's in the middle of a 4 year long unresolved break-up between two losers who are constantly pining after each other both romantically and platonically

im thinkingggg Haym might be seeking out Rikki's presence mostly because he's noticed that they treat him slightly different than the others. not necessarily better, just different enough to get him curious. so the need to build an identity away from 1010 as a group/unit and his inherent curiosity just gets him into this mess

[gayspock]

komaeda

(starts chasing you)

How I feel about this character lets embarass ourselves right off the bat. because you know? you know what? ive got horrifyingly complicated feelings. and its like... jesus god... (shakes head)

i guess its just.... he's just separate entities now, isnt he? IM NOT TRYING TO- you know.... like im not trying to make it all so much more than it is, but it kinda just happens. like- he's sort of become a punchline on this site in particular, whether that be fingers in his ass sunday (good lord, thats rotten to say like that) or a "cursed" "meme" (ACK!) post or whatnot. but then there's also the VERY removed fan interpretation of him, in its mant variations, and that- well... a lot of those versions of him are also fucking loathsome.

but then for me personally. i dont know. i also have multiple different perspectives on him, in of itself. does that make sense?

because jeez, man- LIKE... he genuinely DID mean a lot to me as a younger teen. JOKES aside he was hilariously quite special to me which god bless your fucking soul... when i first interacted with DR, i did quite sincerely obsess over him and obviously. that did sort of... morph over time, then? because- you know how it is.... when you're in a "fandom space", your perceptions will shift and change with it (i do have a ramble about that locked and loaded im specifically going to stop myself from getting into here GOD bless) and i know with himit did become several layers of well im still obsessed, well this is a joke, well this this embarrassing, this that and the other... etc. etc. etc. lalala. i think its fun and cute to do that you know and get yourself all twisted into silly knots that you cant explain to anyone, not even yourself<3

BUT FR. now looking back on it its like.... if i just strip it back. i do still really do like him as a character, yknow? funnily enough. and i do still identify with some aspects of how i felt before but... with a hopefully slightly more mature perspective? LIKE- OKAY... RIGHT. LIKE. I THINK WHAT KIND OF EMBARASSES ME THE MOST is like... his whole little inferiority complex and very particular thought proocesses (DO be quiet...</3) really were things i found a lot of solace in (shut up</3) as a 16 y.o and its like bestie... in many ways im still like god. well yeah. but also its like cmon if we have to be like that does it have to be through fucking komaeda..... because like also obviously, along with my perspective on him, i dont rlly feel the same way abt DR as a whole as i once did. obviously. now im like- HELL im strikingly indifferent to it now. huh. weird. BUT EH.

All the people I ship romantically with this character you know its funny. i dont actually get.... invested-invested in "ships" and dying by particular ones. LIKE- for the most partits like i do LIKE certain dynamics and think theyre fun to entertain but i rarely ever have dedicated a whole lot of my interaction with a certain media to just that with like... the exceptions of j*hnlock when i was 13 and the MUCH later appreciation for spirk (though obviously i love other parts of tos- but they are an actual pairing where im like ok.. sniff sniff yah.. and did have a particular grip on me for a hot sec) AND........................................ komahina.................. which also fucking. yeah. i guess its just a fucking. every 5 years i get something wrong with me. thats actually a very funny regular schedule.

i dont think i do seriously commit to anything else, though. i liked the ot3 with them and nanami but i dont know how i feel about komaeda/nanami or if its just hinata has TWO hands. i really havent revisited SDR2 recently enough to properly assess that but my inclination is still a "uhhh, idk..." bc i do v much see komaeda as a gay man. im not opposed to some naegi/komaeda sentiments but i also dont rlly take that aboard more than like a passing haha sure moment rather than any proper exploration of it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character hmm... not sure! i think i need to revisit for some more specific interactions bc hell its been a LONG time since i replayed sdr2... but even then. i think any "brotp" type pairings WOULD be very much in the realm of hypothetical headcanoning - bc you know... HELP. he isnt offered much in the text. i think ive always liked the idea of like... komaeda being friends with anyone else from his class if he had the proper chance. and i think, like as i said above, with him, hinata and nanami if they WERE together it'd obviously be with him and nanami being besties but i guess thats also hard to asses with so much distance from the damn thing

My unpopular opinion about this character hhow.... hhoow. i think. chrit. I DONT KNOW HOW YOU KNOW. unpopular..... i think the interpretations of komaeda can be so fucking insane to the wall yet somehow so rampant that its literally so hard for me to say sth does tha tmake any sense.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon i wish he wasnt in danganronpa. i wish none of the cast of the first two games were in danganronpa. i wish dr3 was better despite the fact i had a lot of fun on this blog in 2016. i wish i wish i wish upon stars but ultimately its fine if none of it comes true ive made my peace <3

[kagayakimasu]

getting to know shinee world ♡

@duevangogh tagged me to answer these shinee questions and before i get started ill tag @acelululala @kimjongloser @ninonisanoctopus @taerrorize @peridoxxx @5-25 @eyes0ny0u @lunar-otter @losteraable  (but its ok if you dont want to do it ♡) and can i tag you @duevangogh back since you posted the questions but didnt answet them? ;u; ♡

01: How did you get into SHINee?

i like telling this story lmao

 yk that msn messenger thing we used to use like forever ago? my friends and i had this emoticon of a guy we assumed was from a kpop group laughing and he was adorable so we decided to look for him in music videos cause we knew kpop existed but we werent rly interested in it so i tried looking for him in shinee videos and instead i found taemin and fun fact: i still dont know who the emoticon guy was lmao

02: Your favorite member in SHINee is?

my favorite member has always been taemin but ive been in such an ot5 mood recently ;;

03: Bias wrecker anyone?

all??? of them???? im like minho it depends on the day

04: Your favorite SHINee OTP (if you have one)

again all of them OTL i mostly ship people like in a friendship kind of way so all the dynamics in shinee are really adorable and i love seeing any of them but ill say ontae and minkey

05: Is there a SHINee ship you don’t like?

at first i wasnt so warm about 2min tbh but that didnt last like a couple of months

06: The SHINee member you think is most easily shipped

i dont know? ;;;;;

07: Your favorite Korean song by SHINee

i cant choose one ;;; hit me, last gift and selene 6.23 are ones that hit me pretty hard 

08: Your favorite Japanese song by SHINee

better is a really really special song to me because i remember when the album wasnt released yet and the only way to listen to it was in a super lq tudou video and right around that time my cousin came home from japan so he brought me the album and it was my first album and i treasure it so dearly TT but honestly im the biggest sucker for shinees japanese discography 

09: Favorite album

the first is really special for me, i love every song and theyre all in japanese and key is in a shopping cart i just love it so much ♡

10: Your favorite live performance

like a fire from swc iii clearly also their very first live comeback stage for everybody it was so good? the first time they performed sleepless night and tho i hate it when a member is missing i find it really nice to hear the other members covering their parts

11: First SHINee MV you saw

for some reason i chose replay out of the youtube search suggestions yk (how did i not pick lucifer i was in my emo phase idk how that happened)

12: Your first impression of SHINee

cute af, onew and keys voices destroyed me and i did not believe the mushroom guy from replay was the long haired lucifer himself in the lucifer mv

13: Is there a SHINee member that recently impressed you?

umm yes they impress me everyday let me live rip 

but jokes aside tbh every time taemin performs sayonara hitori he got me SO shook its never the same and like this isnt necessarily impressing me but sometimes taemins smile is so beautiful i cant believe and i cry 

14: The SHINee member you think has changed the most over the years

tbh i dont really like talking about change because im idk i guess im a little stuck up but one thing im really happy about is the fact that minkey got over their infamous fight and taemin has clearly become this amazing artist but it was kind of to be expected cause weve known him since he was a lil tiny child

15: The SHINee member you think has changed the least

i dont really know how to judge this adkjnvjnf i guess onew has had the least physical change since he was already almost becoming an adult when he debuted so we got to see less of his natural maturing and stuff but i also feel like jonghyun has accepted himself a lot over the years so hes allowed us to see a side of him that has always been there so even though it was sort of new to us at first, it wasnt really a change

16: Your favorite SHINee MV

lowkey replay japanese version highkey married to the music also lucky star is a masterpiece

17: Your favorite SHINee lyric

im actually really weak for even mildly cute lyrics like its two words and im on the floor screaming and there are some really specific ones that people really dont care for but i think are so beautiful like the “im not important” part in selene 6.23 and theres something along the lines of “i want you to depend/rely on me” in colors of the season but like the english translations dont do it justice i think the meaning in the original japanese words is so deep (and its probably really not lmao) also really simple ones like “you are the reason of my smile” in always love i just! want! to talk! about! lyrics!

18: The SHINee member you think has the best face

key 100% i remember when i first got into shinee id think key was taemin because he looked the best and i thought oh that must be the long haired guy

19: The SHINee member you think has the best body

onew hes soft and his face is squishy

20: The SHINee member you think has the best personality

mmmmmmmmm too hard they all have so many qualities i think are important in a person idk 

21: A SHINee picture that makes you smile

its just so funny to me omg

22: A SHINee picture that makes you nostalgic

23: Your favorite quote by someone in SHINee

i think taemin is really inspirational and i think about him saying you have to give up things to achieve others a lot also keys entire chicken speech

24: A picture of your bias with someone else you like in another group

25: Have you seen SHINee live?

not yet ;;

26: Do you have a favorite variety show moment?

tbh every time they eat and all these japanese hosts who treat taemin like a lil prince are 10/10 

27: How would you describe SHINee in three words?

bestthing thatseverhappened tome

28: Which SHINee video would you show to someone who has never heard of them before?

not a video but someone has this series of gifsets that they call “someone asked why im a shawol” or something like that i forgot who it was sry ;;; but i think those sum them up rly well

29. Is there a memory in connection to SHINee that you will always treasure?

when i was in japan there was a day i bought a fuck load of albums and random merch and the store clerks were all really nice to me and at the end of the day i remember when i was leaving shin ookubo, there was a store playing lucifer pretty loud so it felt like it was the soundtrack of my life as i walked down the street lmao and it was really the perfect way to finish such a great day

30: If you could tell SHINee anything you wanted…what would that be?

i think about this a lot but i still havent found an answer orz i think i would just end up telling them theyre the most important thing in my life but i wish i could let them know how much they mean like not to be dramatic but i couldnt live without them, i wish there was a way to make that sound good yk cause like it sounds way too extreme and generic and maybe hard to believe but i wish i knew a way to let them really understand how much they mean to me