#which is so fucking funny to me because aside from these really loaded moments?? theyre chilling most of the time

[jabberwockprince]

apparently it's way easier to plan scenes and plotpoints for a fanfic if i draw them first, so here we are <3 featuring me rambling abt this scene under the cut!!

i was specifically thinking about Haym and Rikki's entire relationship?

especially very early on, right when Rikki is properly assigned as Neon J's apprentice and whatnot. this was meant to be the moment Rikki realizes they're not coping very well with leaving Ban behind in Beachside Archipelago, and how they're actually gravitating towards Haym because of how similar he feels to Ban - yknow. being the same model and all

cause Rikki has some serious issues with needing absolute control over every aspect of their life. and right now, they're stuck with a job they don't exactly care for, trying desperately to suck up to Neon J so he'll actually promote Rikki to a DECENT job designing security bots for Vinyl City, not BABYSITTING 1010

(which isn't even babysitting, moreso than being monitored 24/7 in a localized space where they can't be shady since Neon J doesnt. trust them. at all. for various valid reasons)

so witnessing Haym pull some stupid but well-meaning stunt to force Rikki show off how good they are at fixing and repairing shit makes Rikki go????

A LITTLE FERAL????

BECAUSE THEY UNCONSCIOUSLY PROJECT ALL THEIR UNRESOLVED FEELINGS ABOUT BAN ONTO HAYM

but they only realize this when their body shuts down and cannot act the way they would've wanted, seeing Haym entirely fucking wrecked being very similar to how they found Ban when they first met makes them spiral a little

Haym doesn't even KNOW he's not the original Yellow model, he has his suspicions but is overall kept in the dark. befriending Rikki is something he does entirely out of genuine curiosity, motherfucker has no clue he's in the middle of a 4 year long unresolved break-up between two losers who are constantly pining after each other both romantically and platonically

im thinkingggg Haym might be seeking out Rikki's presence mostly because he's noticed that they treat him slightly different than the others. not necessarily better, just different enough to get him curious. so the need to build an identity away from 1010 as a group/unit and his inherent curiosity just gets him into this mess

[gayspock]

komaeda

(starts chasing you)

How I feel about this character lets embarass ourselves right off the bat. because you know? you know what? ive got horrifyingly complicated feelings. and its like... jesus god... (shakes head)

i guess its just.... he's just separate entities now, isnt he? IM NOT TRYING TO- you know.... like im not trying to make it all so much more than it is, but it kinda just happens. like- he's sort of become a punchline on this site in particular, whether that be fingers in his ass sunday (good lord, thats rotten to say like that) or a "cursed" "meme" (ACK!) post or whatnot. but then there's also the VERY removed fan interpretation of him, in its mant variations, and that- well... a lot of those versions of him are also fucking loathsome.

but then for me personally. i dont know. i also have multiple different perspectives on him, in of itself. does that make sense?

because jeez, man- LIKE... he genuinely DID mean a lot to me as a younger teen. JOKES aside he was hilariously quite special to me which god bless your fucking soul... when i first interacted with DR, i did quite sincerely obsess over him and obviously. that did sort of... morph over time, then? because- you know how it is.... when you're in a "fandom space", your perceptions will shift and change with it (i do have a ramble about that locked and loaded im specifically going to stop myself from getting into here GOD bless) and i know with himit did become several layers of well im still obsessed, well this is a joke, well this this embarrassing, this that and the other... etc. etc. etc. lalala. i think its fun and cute to do that you know and get yourself all twisted into silly knots that you cant explain to anyone, not even yourself<3

BUT FR. now looking back on it its like.... if i just strip it back. i do still really do like him as a character, yknow? funnily enough. and i do still identify with some aspects of how i felt before but... with a hopefully slightly more mature perspective? LIKE- OKAY... RIGHT. LIKE. I THINK WHAT KIND OF EMBARASSES ME THE MOST is like... his whole little inferiority complex and very particular thought proocesses (DO be quiet...</3) really were things i found a lot of solace in (shut up</3) as a 16 y.o and its like bestie... in many ways im still like god. well yeah. but also its like cmon if we have to be like that does it have to be through fucking komaeda..... because like also obviously, along with my perspective on him, i dont rlly feel the same way abt DR as a whole as i once did. obviously. now im like- HELL im strikingly indifferent to it now. huh. weird. BUT EH.

All the people I ship romantically with this character you know its funny. i dont actually get.... invested-invested in "ships" and dying by particular ones. LIKE- for the most partits like i do LIKE certain dynamics and think theyre fun to entertain but i rarely ever have dedicated a whole lot of my interaction with a certain media to just that with like... the exceptions of j*hnlock when i was 13 and the MUCH later appreciation for spirk (though obviously i love other parts of tos- but they are an actual pairing where im like ok.. sniff sniff yah.. and did have a particular grip on me for a hot sec) AND........................................ komahina.................. which also fucking. yeah. i guess its just a fucking. every 5 years i get something wrong with me. thats actually a very funny regular schedule.

i dont think i do seriously commit to anything else, though. i liked the ot3 with them and nanami but i dont know how i feel about komaeda/nanami or if its just hinata has TWO hands. i really havent revisited SDR2 recently enough to properly assess that but my inclination is still a "uhhh, idk..." bc i do v much see komaeda as a gay man. im not opposed to some naegi/komaeda sentiments but i also dont rlly take that aboard more than like a passing haha sure moment rather than any proper exploration of it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character hmm... not sure! i think i need to revisit for some more specific interactions bc hell its been a LONG time since i replayed sdr2... but even then. i think any "brotp" type pairings WOULD be very much in the realm of hypothetical headcanoning - bc you know... HELP. he isnt offered much in the text. i think ive always liked the idea of like... komaeda being friends with anyone else from his class if he had the proper chance. and i think, like as i said above, with him, hinata and nanami if they WERE together it'd obviously be with him and nanami being besties but i guess thats also hard to asses with so much distance from the damn thing

My unpopular opinion about this character hhow.... hhoow. i think. chrit. I DONT KNOW HOW YOU KNOW. unpopular..... i think the interpretations of komaeda can be so fucking insane to the wall yet somehow so rampant that its literally so hard for me to say sth does tha tmake any sense.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon i wish he wasnt in danganronpa. i wish none of the cast of the first two games were in danganronpa. i wish dr3 was better despite the fact i had a lot of fun on this blog in 2016. i wish i wish i wish upon stars but ultimately its fine if none of it comes true ive made my peace <3