#which is pretty close to being done

[cbk1000]

Hey, so since I’m a lying liar who still hasn’t posted this fic, here’s another preview.

Then there was the dreadful scene with Mrs Brown, who had them out for a look at an elderly horse, in an elderly barn. Those venerable ancients, all three of them, were standing together, with the backs all bent by time or wind, when Merlin turned the truck into the drive, and got out, still taunting Arthur for his superior taste in music; which at least was nothing to do with Gwaine. They got out the kit, put on their wellies, and jogged up to meet her, before she could go limping down the drive, and would have to go limping back up it. She seemed to be in more agony than the horse, who had rearranged his weight to coddle his left front foot, and said, before Merlin had even opened his mouth, thereby breaking some kind of land speed record, “He won’t put his foot down. Do you think there’s anything terribly wrong with it?”

“Well, we’ll just take a look,” Merlin said, and put down the bag, and calling out to the horse, “All right, sir, let’s have a look,” picked up the hoof. He was bent over it only a moment. “It’s thrush.” 

“What’s that? He’s not dying is he, poor dear?” she asked, sounding as if it would have killed her herself.

“Well, if left too long, it can lame a horse, but it won’t kill them. Although if he’s not vaccinated against tetanus, that can get in through a damaged frog.” She gave him a blank look. “Thrush is a bacterial infection that eats away at the tissue of the frog, so if it damages it too severely, it leaves the horse vulnerable to other infections.”

“Oh dear. What’s this business about a frog? Nasty, invasive buggers.”

Merlin’s face looked like Arthur’s felt. “Erm. First horse, I’m guessing?”

“Oh, yes. He was a neighbour’s, and they were going to pack him off to the slaughterhouse, can you believe that, so I said, ‘You will not, I’ve a lovely barn for him right here’ and I talked them round from murdering the poor old chap, and here he is. We’re getting on, the pair of us, a couple of old buggers seeing out our last years together. Just like a big dog he is, lovely, honestly, aren’t you, love?” she asked the horse, who butted his head against her hand. “He’s the most perfect gentleman there ever was, and they were going to murder him without human feeling! I don’t believe this world we’re living in.”

Arthur scratched his nose. He had housed enough horses of other owners to know that people viewed their animals rather like they viewed their children; little respectful darlings who had never gone or spoken awry, because of the simple qualification that they were theirs: and so if they had appeared to have done wrong, it was because of some flawed perception in the mistaken perceiver. If she had called him a dog, it was very likely he was a demon: and they would have to cut the bad tissue out of his hoof, and wash it down with treatment, a practice discouraged by even the most genuinely gentlemanly of equines. He looked sideways at Merlin, who he found was looking sideways at him. They both had that natural perception of accomplished horsemen, and knew looking at the presently placid figure it was shortly to be one of strife. He had let Merlin pick up the hoof without any protest; but whether he would consent to beyond that was still to be seen.

It was Arthur’s job to keep the horse from killing Merlin, which he did by letting the fellow get a good sniff at him, and talking to him in a low voice, in the hopes of earning his esteem; he had handled his share of unruly horses undergoing procedures they did not care to be part of, and decided to start with a neck twitch, after they had led him into his stall, where he would have less room to manoeuver, and Merlin could work, hopefully, in relative safety. He grabbed a roll of loose flesh on the neck, and squeezed it, getting a surprised look in return: but no other sign of upheaval. 

“Maybe you should pick out his hoof,” Merlin said, getting out his instruments, and rolling up his sleeves. “If he kicks you in the head, it won’t make any difference.”

“Oh right, because your head is the one at greater risk.”

Merlin eyed him as he picked up the hoof once more, and tucked the horse’s leg between his own. “If I die, tell your sister I’m sorry I couldn’t be her first victim for the insurance money. It would have been great, up till she killed me.”

Arthur rolled his eyes.

Then the horse, sensing this was to be a different thing altogether, jerked the hoof in Merlin’s hands, and thrust the whole body straight up, almost a kind of levitation, whilst Merlin clung to the hoof, and Arthur clung to the halter, pushing into the huge body as it tried to swing round on Merlin, and their observer said in abject delight, “Oh, he’s like a young man again! I’ve never seen him move like that.”

“Right, it’s a bloody miracle,” Arthur said through his teeth. He was putting his whole weight into his task. He was between Merlin, scraping determinedly at the hoof, and Merlin, smashed to bits on the stall wall. 

“Where are you lads from?” she asked, leaning on the stall door whilst he fended off the horse’s teeth. “I’m from Manchester, myself. I can’t place your accent, young man,” she said, to whom he did not know; and not waiting for the unknown young man to state his origins, began to expound upon hers. The horse tried to rear; and Arthur, holding the halter with everything he was, inserted a strained, “Mm hmm” where she obviously expected one to be; and Merlin, restraining a truly incalculable number of curses, said, “Oh yeah, lovely country up there” whilst he was retrieving the solution, which he did by leaping sideways, to get out of the way of the hoof he had abandoned, flinging himself against the side of the stall as Arthur pushed the horse away from him, and the horse, robbed of his victim, bit Arthur instead.

Fucking fuck fuck cunt, said Arthur’s brain; whilst his mouth was the inviolable stalwart of chivalry. “Lovely, yeah,” it said to the woman, whilst her precious goblin was standing on his foot, and she was asking whether he wasn’t the dearest old dear of existence.

“Now you’ll be coming in for tea; I want to hear all about you,” she said, and left them, after listening to Merlin’s instructions on cleaning the hoof, to gather their equipment and meet her in a sitting room which looked to their exhausted bodies a kind of Promised Land: and into which they heaved themselves, having cleaned themselves as well as they could with a water bottle and bad language. She gave them little frail teacups on saucers, which looked absurd in Merlin’s large battered hand, and laid on the table a startling array of biscuits, saying as she did so, “You eat as much as you like; I’d have you for supper as well, if I didn’t know you two were hard-working young lads who needed to get on with their day. And tell me, how did you meet, and don’t worry, I always vote for the Liberal Democrats, so you don’t need to worry about anything here, I may be old, but I’m not old-fashioned. Lovely, the pair of you.”

“Erm. Well. Arthur runs a breeding farm. My uncle has a veterinarian practice and he’s getting on, so I’ve come down to take over the field work that’s harder on him. We kind of transitioned from client-vet to assistant-vet.”

Arthur had stiffened on the sofa. He did not know how she had spotted what were his seething but subtle feelings; but she had clocked them, and was about to innocently out them.

“Oh, no, that’s not nearly as romantic as I’d hoped--”

“I think we had better get on to Freya’s, hadn’t we?” Arthur asked, something he had never before suggested with such (or any) enthusiasm. Merlin looked at him. Then he looked at Mrs Brown, and went horrifically pale.

“Oh. Oh, no, we’re like, you know--professional partners. Not partners partners. We’re not--yeah. Arthur’s--and I’m not. Interested in that sort of thing. With him. That’s--we’re friends. He’s more like--a brother. You know. Yeah. Erm. It’s--professional. Our. Partnership.”

“Why didn’t you just say, ‘Oh, not that horrid old toe rag’ and be done with it?” Arthur asked as they returned to the truck, not through his teeth, though it might have sounded that way.

“Well, what the hell did you want me to say? She thought we were fucking, for some reason. I can’t have something like that following me round.”

“Right, you wouldn’t want to sully your heretofore impeccable reputation for madness with good taste,” Arthur snapped. He did not slam the door of the truck after he had got in; but he did think about having been reduced to the non-sexual realm of family, and shut it with enthusiasm. “Your brother.”

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[walugus-grudenburg]

fnaf 4 20/20/20/20 mode... grrrr

[somelazyassartist]

I hate having really pretty visually interesting dreams because I know I'll wake up and forget it and even if I try to draw them before I forget I won't be able to recreate the style :(

[driftwooddestiel]

I DID MY COMEDY PERFORMANCE TODAY!!! in front of like 200 people!!! and i didnt stutter or forget what to say!!! and people laughed!!!

[perenlop]

i really like hz28. i feel like in any other kids show, the antique dealer would have been revealed to be an impersonator of diana’s friend as a part of some convoluted scheme. because anyone the good characters vouch for cant be bad, right?

but no, its the same guy, it really is diana’s friend, he just took a turn for the worst because his life went in a different direction than hers, and he has to confront that by the end of the episode. its really refreshing

[whatudottu]

OP I hope you know your banger headcanons have got me to start wondering if there’s memes on the extranet about stuff like “introducing your Galvan friend to your Tetramand friend vs introducing your Cerebrocrustacean friend to your Appoplexian friend”

Anon I also hope you know that my first thought after I saw this ask had kinda ‘Introducing our bass player to things he’s never seen before’ vibes I guess especially for the galvan friend, who in the world of Whatudottu (and all the influences I have) headcanons is the stereotypically socially isolated intelligent species between them and cerebrocrustaceans lmao-

…hmm I wonder if I should add the names of Ben 10 aliens into my dictionary :P

Hehe, I’ll admit that while I have headcanons on the fly for galvans and cerebrocrustaceans to guess at how they’ll react interacting with a friend’s friend (ccs being more obvious and welcoming in the friend group, potentially galvans having jealousy issues or even just fascination someone can have more than one friend and ones with such differences), but I have no idea how tetramands and appoplexians would react lmao, at least not beyond your appoplexian friend being confounded by how nice your cerebrocrustacean friend is (potentially versus any bias they might’ve learnt) met with a mutual confusion when your cerebrocrustacean friend sees you and your appoplexian friend verbally and or physically roughhousing :P

[diddlesnap]

I think there were some serious growing pains when katniss and peeta were starting to "grow close" again.

[billpottsismygf]

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[billy-royalton]

omg. it's done. my first multi-chaptered wip is done.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[volfoss]

the best thing for me actually is im getting around to reading the comics that retell from iwtv -> body thief and theyre actually pretty good so far? they cut down on a lot of her narration and often excessive narration which makes the plot fly by lmao. the worst thing however is the art is... well definitely something. at times it works and at times you get this panel of louis thats been making me laugh so hard for like 10 minutes

[northern-passage]

hello! read the wlw vampire story you recommended and I loved it and was then surprised to see it was written by the author of The Hacienda, which I didn't enjoy. I was wondering if you read it? It has been pretty popular on booktube!

no i haven't! i actually had never heard of her at all, which did surprise me when i looked her up and saw she had published a book. and i very much did get the vibe that it was the kind of book that would be popular on booktube (not in a negative way like. it's just a Vibe, you can tell) so i was surprised that i had never heard of her because i do love booktube reviews lol

when i found that story i was just in the Mood for vampires (it's what i've been writing for like the last month now) and had literally just searched vampires on that website and was reading a bunch of the short stories, and that one just happened to be the best one, imo. and then i briefly looked her up before recommending it just because i like to do a vibe check before i recommend someone, hahaha

[spikeisawesome456]

.

[weedpicnic]

god damnit life is so close to fully ruining against me! For me but they will not WIN but like how can I possibly have so many negative memories associated with one band and still listen to them on purpose.

[imaginethathaikyuu]

here we are. the road to 25k starts now. gulps