#which is no good for good relationships but alas i do have to start somewhere right?

[dotsunflowers]

should i try to reconnect with a former friend? context below the cut

basically we met related to fandom things. but like with any fandom friends ive ever had, while we started at a somewhat similar place (in this case, no concerts) we had different goals (i will only go to local concerts, will mask, can't do standing section, can't queue overnight etc; she wanted to go to all the concerts, travel for them, be in the pit, queue overnight, all the adventures)

there was a separate event which ended up being a big symptom trigger for me. in addition to feeling distant from everyone else at the event because my fandomness etc was different from theirs, i also had embarrassing physical symptoms i couldn't control or explain that left me feeling more distant and just badTM overall.

she also found a partner at that event. happy for her, genuinely. but i was in a bad and embarrassed mindset after everything that happened with my body, and therefore tended towards distance (and reeling over my internalised ableism lol), while she was also being more distant, because she had a new, better, also fandom-connected (and more fandom aligned) person in her life. and its not like we were close close friends before. we were early stage friends. so that was the start of the drifting.

after that she (and partner) would invite me to events, but generally only bc it was events the partner was hosting for work and needed people to attend. i don't generally do well at big events anyway, and was at low capacity just generally. i did invite her for one just us friends hangout after which was... just okay. i felt a disconnect, but idk if that was just me. i was sick on the day of her birthday party later that year, and so didn't attend.

for various separate reasons, i was in an increasingly bad place thereafter and didn't have the capacity to try reconnecting. but now? maybe in the new year? i'm also aware i need more friends and community in my life. do i need to start from scratch? december is too hectic, but i still have the present i got for her birthday one (or two?) years ago (one. i think it was just one. technically one and a half years now. it feels like ages). do i contact her in january to give it to her?

[yennas-stuff]

There’s this one e/riel who recently said “azriel was loyal to the mor for hundreds of years and he hadn't even gotten confirmation she liked him back so what makes y'all think he's about to be giving up on elain anytime soon Imfao” and then another one replied “And that man is evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor so imagine at least another 500+ years of yearning for Elain. He physically can't stay away”

Rhys asked Azriel about Mor and wasn’t able to respond. Didn’t tell Rhys that he doesn’t love her anymore, doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, or is starting to get over her, and I think that’s why Rhys acted the way he did, because Azriel wasn’t able to give an answer, but if Az did give off the slightest hint of having genuine feelings for Elain then Rhys would’ve acted differently and likely would’ve told Az to wait for Elain to break the mating bond with Lucien or to be patient. And Azriel being “evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor” is so funny to me. All we got with Az & Elain in his chapter was lust and jealousy when Sarah could’ve put something that showed romantic interest (genuine feelings) but didn’t. It would’ve been easy for her to do so. Lust doesn’t mean love. Sexual attraction isn’t that deep. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual attraction, but him not being able to plan beyond his fantasies and his self loathing toward himself wasn’t okay. That’s the problem I and others have. How he talked about himself was very unhealthy. There were actually people who did ship e/riel but stopped after reading the bonus chapter/acosf, and that’s saying something.

If Mor showed the slightest interest in Azriel or told him she wanted to be with him, then I 100% believe he would leave Elain for Mor. I don’t think he’s completely over Mor, but I do think he’s slowly starting to move on from her and has accepted that it’s never going to happen, and Elain is his rebound just like he is Elain’s rebound for Graysen. I think Az is jealous because everyone around him is getting into relationships/mates and is becoming happy. Rhys says in the third book that Az spent years waiting for a mating bond to snap between him and Mor. He wants a mate and is jealous because he doesn’t have one.

Lovely Anon, agreed 10000%. Thank you for the message. Great points were made.

I think Azriel just latches on to something he considers a pure and perfect embodiment of femininity. Maybe I am reading into it too much, but I don't really think it was love he felt for Mor. I think it was a combination of lust and platonic love. I think he wants to feel some of that purity and perfection, for it to rid him of his *sins* or wrongdoings.

If a female like that loved him, it would mean that he is good. But at the same time, he feels as if his touch was taking away some of that purity he assigned to Mor or Elain. We don't need to even get into it to know it's not healthy.

Also, I've never felt like him being down bad for 500 years was romantic or a good thing. It was not reciprocated or appreciated by Mor. It seems very self-destructive. At some point you need to actively look for happiness somewhere else. And I dont see him being more down bad for Elain than for Mor. Its been just a year and he's been avoiding her. With Mor he actually spent time with her. And as you wrote, he waited because he wants a MATE. He is so laserfocused on that. He doesn't even entertain pursuing anyone without thinking about bonds. Even when he knows that Elain already has one. He still thinks about it instead of how he feels ABOUT HER as a person. Just about having sex with her, which we know... means nothing (Nesta in the beginning of acosf).

We could get some deep loving words from Azriel about Elain when he was talking with Rhys but alas...

His mate obsession just shifted from Mor to Elain. But he knows she's already taken, which makes it impossible and more painful for him, which he probably thinks he deserves. Sad.

How sad it would be to always have this 3rd person in your relationship (Lucien)? He would probably think about him way too much and let these bad thoughts brew. Comparing himself and whatnot.

I hope he finds his happiness when he least expects it, he he. 💖 And for him to learn how true love feels. With no space for these self-deprecating feelings.

(These are just some thoughts my bestie, and I shared about Azriel and his state of mind. We might be talking crap, so if you don't agree, Im open to hear you all out).

[writing-for-life]

Keeping Them In Character...

It’s so interesting what you wrote about fixing Morpheus in the other post, @rriavian. I didn't want to take that one too off topic, hence I made a new one. I hope this is okay, because I love talking about these things, especially with other writers (everyone who reads this, writer or not, feel free to join in). I think I’ve said this somewhere else before (can’t remember where): If we keep him in character, there is no fixing him anyway.

But fanfic wouldn’t be fanfic without those attempts, and I totally get why. I want a different ending for him, too, alas, not in canon, even if that might sound contradictory. If they touched the ending in the show, I’d honestly be pissed off, but that’s my personal problem, and Neil can do with it whatever he wants—it’s his story. So I guess every fic that sees him alive at the end starts with the premise that we have to bend him into shape ever so slightly to make it possible. To me though, there’s a world of a difference between that and basically turning him into an OC with no resemblance to Morpheus bar name and looks (not saying that isn’t fair, it’s just not for me because if I wanted that, I’d write an OC, because that’s what he would be to me).

Morpheus is not weak. I even get why some people who mainly came to the Sandman via the show might be drawn into that direction initially, because we obviously see him very low at the beginning (I’m hesitant to say “at his lowest”). But after that, he pretty much stands in his power again (with ups and down obvs)—a power that burdens him for a multitude of reasons I don’t want to go into now, otherwise I’ll still sit here tomorrow. Wrote about it a million times though.

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is that anyone can fix him. So whoever we pair up with him can only walk with him, but he’ll need to take the steps himself, and more importantly: He would need a reason to want to do that. And yes, that’s exactly what my OC tells him at some point because she suffers, and she’s done with it despite understanding him on a deep level and accepting who and what he is—I think you're right when you say there’s a tendency in fandom to turn one half of the relationship into some kind of martyr and/or “void filler” to save someone. And the tricky thing about Morpheus is: He actually is looking for something to fill a void (which, to stress that again, doesn't mean he isn't powerful, so it's not to be mistaken for general weakness). And both in The Sandman and in real life, that never leads to anything good, but I can see why it's tempting to fall into that trap because his character lends itself particularly well to that type of trope (and I even play around with that in the first part of my fic, but it was also clear to me that it won't end there).

Now, this obviously isn’t real life, a story doesn’t necessarily have to lead to something good, but the most important question, to me, was always: What would make him take said steps himself, and above all: WANT to take them? Because truly, that’s where it all falls down in canon. And there is enough scope to explore that in quite a few different ways in my view.

For me, it was always clear that it can never be through wanting to change who or what he is on a fundamental level (that’s why I’m not into retired!Dream AUs, because they would fundamentally change who he is. Again, totally fine if people want to explore that, it's just not for me). I honestly believe he would bristle at that and recoil/retreat. Because it would just add to what is at the core of his very dilemma: If you want to change who and what he is, you basically admit you don’t truly understand him (not even those closest to him truly do), and that’s part of what breaks him (I say “part”, because there are more things in the mix than one can shake a stick at). And there is a clear difference between his being capable of change (we all know he is) and wanting to change him. They are not one and the same, but sometimes, fandom treats them as if they were.

Misunderstanding him, misinterpreting him is inherent to his being: He is Dream—forever out of reach, forever nebulous and unreal and weird and prone to be misunderstood/misinterpreted unless you stop trying and just trust the process/intuition--otherwise, it wouldn’t be (a) D/dream. It truly applies to all that he is. And you see what happens when he tries to rationalise things himself: Although he understands the boundaries between dreams and reality and keeps them in place, he is UNreality, and forever will be. And the way that gets ignored in fandom sometimes baffles me. Although it also doesn’t, because of course we’re human, and we want things to be real.

Back to those steps: I personally think he would never take them for himself because he doesn’t believe he has a story, and outright centring himself as the main character who is in charge of his own story is something he will always deny himself. But I think that’s also the way in? Because if he could perceive, at least initially, that he is part of someone else’s story and that they WANT him in that story (all that he is and isn’t, including all that is broken) with full acceptance but without complete self-denial. That they don’t try to change him, because they understand what the unreal is (and that requires a very particular type of person). That he would want to try because the love he has for them weighs heavier than how little he loves himself (was it you, @stellerssong who recently also wrote something along those lines, or am I making that up?). And that by doing that, he gradually learns to see himself through someone else's eyes. And once on that path, he would maybe, just maybe, start to understand that indeed he has a story of his own, and that he might be able if not to entirely rewrite, but at least to keep on writing it from this moment onward. Like everyone who believes (because believing something is possible means trusting in it despite it not being real, and trusting in the process rather than the result. He knows the power this wields over everyone but himself--not because it’s not true for him but because he won’t allow it. But maybe he could get himself to a stage where he allows it). That it's not about fixing anything really, but growing enough around what's broken and always will be, instead of trying to make it smaller or go away.

Yes, I do believe that might be possible, although there's much more to it than I've written here because it's incredibly complex, and it requires a lot of give and take, compromise and yes, pain along the way. And maybe it might not work at all (I never really 100% know where I end up when I write because my characters always, always make those decisions for me, and despite setting out with a plan, I almost never end up where I had initially intended to go. So if you asked me today, I couldn’t promise that I truly know where my current WiP is going and who will be where at its end, and it is very frustrating at times because I’m not always happy with what these guys are doing. At the moment, I'm truly not). But I believe he would at least try if someone who allowed for those dynamics were around. And that’s why I wrote an OC, because while I can see one or two canon characters that get fairly close to what I'd envision (and none of them are one half of the bigger ships), I ultimately couldn’t do it with them because there was something in their established dynamics that threw it off for me. Unless I would have pulled at least one of them (probably both) OOC to a degree that felt too much for me. But I'm always super interested in other people's process and line of thinking.

But yeah, that’s the precarious dance between trying to keep him in character while also working towards a different ending (that's obviously far less of a problem in one-shots). If that will ever work—who knows…

[buc-eebarnes]

fake/pretend relationship. captaineer. 675 words. might finish later on, depends. server likely saw it first.

“A marriage alliance?”

“Yes,” the Councilor repeated for the third time. He was starting to get impatient, and—good lord. You had to come up with an alternative real quick.

“As much as I would love to be allied through marriage, I’m afraid that I will have to decline.”

The Councilor raised an eyebrow. “And why is that, Captain?”

Now or never. “I’m married.”

There was a collective gasp around the bridge, which was to be expected. What you didn’t expect was Mark going rigid next to you, fingers stilling on top of his datapad.

The Councilor narrowed his eyes through the holographic display, and you did your best to act cool. It wasn’t the first time you had to stretch the truth like this. You were pretty sure that somewhere, in the multiverse, you were happily married and doing things only a married person does. You sort of wished the wormhole was back so that you could pull that version of you into this situation right now.

“I…see.” The Councilor frowned. “May I ask why this was not in the briefing when your delegation visited us?”

You put a hand on your chin thoughtfully. “I didn’t think it was relevant, Councilor. I’m a very private person, and I prefer to keep my personal affairs to myself. I apologize for any offense regarding my actions.”

“Well,” he said haughtily, “may I ask who you are married to?”

All eyes were on you. You didn’t blink or miss a beat when you gestured and said, confidently, “My head engineer, Mark.”

The collective gasp returned.

You felt Mark’s incredulous stare burning a hole in the side of your head, and you had to fight to maintain eye contact with the Councilor, whose eyes shifted between you and your head engineer.

“Our Earth’s Space Force doesn’t even know, as well as the crew members of this ship,” you continued, gaze downcast, “but we wanted to make things work, and we certainly knew that if we had revealed that we were married, they would have assigned us on different stations. We wanted to avoid that as much as possible, so…” you spread your hands. “Here we are.”

The Councilor was silent, taking in this information. You didn’t turn your head or try to shush the restless crew—you needed to get out of this scrape, preferably alive and with your ship still intact.

“Such a shame,” the Councilor ended up saying. “I truly believe a marriage alliance would have made matters much better. But alas,” he tipped his head at you, “you are currently in wedlock. Unless you engage in polygamy?”

Your eyes widened a fraction. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Councilor, but polygamy is not for me. It’s just Mark. He’s the one, and he’ll be the only one.”

The Councilor digested this, shifting his gaze between you and Mark. “Such a shame,” he repeated. “But I must respect your wishes. We will figure out a way around this marriage alliance, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes we will,” you nodded, and the Councilor made a motion off-screen to cut the call.

As soon as the hologram dropped, you let out a shaky breath, briefly closing your eyes.

The tension was palpable, and no one said anything for a long while.

Someone cleared their throat. “Well,” and your eyelashes fluttered open, glancing sideways at the source. It was Gunther, puffing on his cigar. “That happened.”

Burt whistled lowly.

“Captain,” Celci hedged, “what did you just do?”

What did you just do? You didn’t know what kind of expression you had right now. You also didn’t want to turn to face Mark, but…

You eventually twist around to his stiff figure, straightening your posture. He was staring at you with something inscrutable, but you couldn’t deny that you saw the rage and hurt simmering beneath the surface.

Swallowing, you pleaded, “Mark—”

He turned heel and left, punching the sensor for the bridge door to slide open. No one said a word when it closed, the clanging echo ringing in your ears.

“Shit,” you muttered.

[ambrosiagourmet]

thistle for ask meme!

Thistle :0

First impression

No joke I was convinced early on that Laios & the party were making like a huuuuge leap in assuming that Thistle was the Lunatic Magician TM like guys you can't just go accusing every random person you find in a living painting of being the manager. Alas... he was, in fact, the manager.

Impression now

He's so jester coded👍

I think Thistle is very interesting and a great foil to Marcille, which I looove. They are both magic elf(-ish) advisors, they both get caught up in wanting to help the people around them live longer, they both become dungeon lords in pursuit of that... I think Thistle's story as it is works well for the narrative and I don't necessarily think he was underutilized exactly, but it is a little hard not to want A Bit More sometimes. Even if I do think it would be hard to add that more in without sacrificing some of the pacing overall :')

Favorite moment

I was initially going to say the ending for them, because I do love it, but you know what? I've got a more interesting answer. My favorite Thistle scene is.... this:

This fundamentally changes the trajectory of the story. In trying to find someone to stop the Winged Lion, Thistle launches Marcille into becoming the next lord of the dungeon. The next victim of the Lion. If Thistle hadn't resurrected Marcille, then the plot would have played out totally differently. She wouldn't have been able to finish unsealing the book. Laios would have been on his own when the canaries came. Would they have just cleaned everything up more easily? Would it instead have become something worse? Would Laios somehow have unsealed the book and become the lore of the dungeon right away?

I dunno. But this action reshaped Marcille's life, and Laios', and so many other people's. And it was done out of a desire to keep fighting. To not give in.

Augh idk. It's good. Their connection is good.

Idea for a story

Thistle & Chimera Laios.

But not just a "Laios gets eaten by the dragon instead," I think it would be cool to explore an AU where for some handwavy magic reason, Laios gets his soul bound up w/ the dragon during Falin's resurrection, and he gets poofed into a dragon form.

There's a note somewhere that says that chimeras start popping up the more the lord of the dungeon starts to lose their hold on things, but having met Laios before might help Thistle eventually realize that something is Off about the dragon. From there... well maybe he starts to ask questions and gives Laios more freedom to actually answer, and things could continue from there as Laios gets enough humanity back to start to understand what's happening, and also Thistle takes more time to question the Lion's plans rather than just continue to act. They'd be stuck together, probably with Laios still under Thistle's control, but maybe as they figure out more of the truth, they'd actually work together? Need to rely on each other? I'd like to see how each of them would deal with that situation...

PLUS then on the flip side I think switching Falin into the group part way through the story (rather than at the start) could be really interesting. So the adventures on that side would be fun too.

Unpopular opinion

umm idk. Is Thistle widely regarded as a Marcille foil? Because if not then why. They are so inchresting. funky little mages.

Favorite relationship

Hmmm okay so like obviously Thistle & Marcille, but also as seen in my story idea I want to explore more of Thistle & Laios bc their interactions were fun, soo... I'll just say the Dungeon Lord quartet as a whole. I like when people draw art of them all together. Let them bond through shared trauma. And also all of them have tried to kill at least one other person there at some point. It's great. They should go on brunch dates.

Favorite headcanon

This post about Thistle's goal to eat a meal with Delgal fundamentally rewired my brain

[alakeeffectgirl]

cruisequarries PART TWO

PART ONE What did we get up to yesterday? 2018? Okay. I will put everything behind a spoiler cut again (there are more pictures/a video today).

Actually, let's rewind just a little, for some Fallout premiere pictures just because.

Paris, July 12th:

London, July 13th:

Seoul, July 16th (according to the designer's website, the hanbok Heather is wearing was designed as a wedding dress, mmhmm)...

I love this picture because they're making those faces at Chris. Here's the bit of Tom making Heather cry in Tokyo:

I highly recommend listening to Tom & Chris commentary track on Fallout, which starts with McQ introducing himself as the writer/director and then Tom introducing himself - as McQ's friend. After the Fallout press tour wraps up, work starts in earnest on Top Gun: Maverick, which Tom and McQ have been discussing - idly, on McQ's part - for years now. "Our relationship is one long conversation about movies," indeed.

While TGM is filming, pre-production is also happening on MI:DR, which McQ has signed on to direct. (These two are usually juggling at least two projects at a time, and really it's probably more like five projects at a time.)

In January of 2019, they're all back in LA so Tom and McQ can pick up some awards.

The McQuarries also go to a premiere and look fantastic (I love McQ's suit):

Tom and McQ go to Ukraine to scout Dead Reckoning locations later in 2019, meet President Zelenskyy, and McQ gets to put his arm around Tom for once instead of their usual other way around.

OH NO I ALMOST FORGOT - at the end of 2019, Tom took the whole McQ clan with him to Las Vegas to see Lady Gaga and ask her to write the TGM song. [cries in 'that's his family']

Production ramps up on DR - and then unfortunately, as we all know, COVID. Most of the cast and crew were in Venice when everything shut down, but Tom hadn't arrived yet.

Production resumes in Rome in October (their production struggles/trying to keep everyone employed/Tom rightfully yelling at people to follow protocols because a lot of jobs depend on them is all well documented), and then moves to Venice. Heather and the dogs are also part of this traveling band.

This isn't six feet apart, dudes...

Production breaks for the holidays, and resumes in Abi Dhabi for the airport/desert sequences, and also one of my favorite pictures of Tom and Heather, just for her expression.

Train sequence filming in Yorkshire in April of 2021, that's Heather in the blue coat:

DR production then breaks for a bit over the summer so Tom can take all his friends to Wimbledon, go to several car things, and make McQ watch football (the soccer version).

DR filming resumes in the fall/winter. Heather goes with to South Africa and they rent out what is basically an adults-only hotel (and save it from having to close!), for part of their stay. I love this picture because Gypsy looks so long-suffering:

OKAY IT'S 2022 NOW, time for the Top Gun: Maverick premiere tour to start - finally! (Do any of these people SLEEP? No. I think it's well-documented that Tom Cruise does not sleep, which is part of what makes him Tom Cruise, but also this means he calls McQ at two in the morning to talk about movies. There's a podcast somewhere where McQ says he thinks Tom might sleep "between the 2:05 email and the 2:40 email", or something along those lines.) (After getting back from South Africa, there was a bunch of test screening stuff for TGM, which is why there are those parking garage pictures. Wouldn't the movie be done, you'd think, since it was supposed to be out in 2020? COVID gave them a reason to tinker with it even more.) The San Diego premiere on the USS MIdway (all the McQs were there, but there aren't any good pictures):

Then Tom went to Mexico, and McQ went home to London for a few days before Tom returned, and they went to the Royal Windsor horse show together.

THEN EVERYONE WENT TO CANNES. Sorry I have just a shitty screencap with a watermark here but alas tumblr only lets you put one video per post. Tom and McQ stopped to get their picture taken en route to the actual photocall and Tom made Heather come back and be in the pictures with them. There is video here.

Cannes, of course, was amazing. I have garbage homemade gifs but they're too big for tumblr (also they're garbage) but all the Cannes red carpet footage is available on YouTube, here and here. (Worth it for Heather, tbh.)

They went straight from Cannes - on Tom's helicopter - back to London for the Royal premiere. Where the McQuarries looked amazing and McQ wore his McQ shoes.

And the after party, because heaven forbid they not all ride in the same car:

And then the McQuarries got a slight break, while Tom went to do more TGM press. But he was back in London by the end of June, and they went on what can only be described as a string of dates. First, they went to the Rolling Stones concert at Hyde Park.

McQ was on Tom's other side, but he's only visible in video (the Daily Mail might be garbage but they do come through with the media).

Then Tom and Heather went to The Eagles show at Hyde Park:

And they all went to see Adele - also at Hyde Park. (The woman in the pink sweater is Tom's CAA agent Maha Dakhil Jackson - I found the picture where you can see Heather over Tom's shoulder.)

Then for Tom's birthday, they went to the F1 British Grand Prix (with some other TGM folks, but they aren't three steps behind Tom like the McQuarries are).

Oh no, we're not done. Tom takes Heather to Wimbledon, where she holds his sunglasses (not visible in this picture).

McQ did not go with, as he was recording a Light the Fuse podcast - which he surprise-dialled in a bunch of DR folks - and his final surprise was Tom. Who was still at Wimbledon with Heather. McQ calls Heather to get Tom, and Heather plays dumb and is like, "oh I don't know where he is, did you try calling him?" and Chris says he already told the podcast guys that they were together. So Tom does his segment from the car he's in with Heather, and his part is only supposed to be like ten minutes but he talks for about forty-five and this includes telling the world they basically all live together. Then they went out to dinner!

And the next day they all went to Wimbledon with Maha and her husband.

I'm stopping here because this is already SO LONG and 2023 is going to be wild just by itself! PART THREE

[ubejamjar]

Nahri Sohl (Non-WoL)

"It is not my preference to see to matters personally, but I will see them done." [Overwatch, Moira O'Deorain]

B A S I C S

Name Nahri Sohl Nicknames Nahri does not suffer nicknames, you will address her properly or you will not address her at all. Age Somewhere in her 40s, maybe 44 or 45. Nameday I haven't decided, but she is most certainly a summer child Race Hellsguard Roegadyn (As far as she is aware) Gender Genderfluid Orientation Lesbian Profession Proprietress of the White Alyssum entertainment hall; aspiring member of the Syndicate; Teledji Adeledji’s personal demon; blackmail (it's a very lucrative business)

P H Y S I C A L   A S P E C T S

Hair Black as coal and always kept short, always mussed like she just rolled out of someone's bed. Eyes Pale blue Skin: Deep bronze Tattoos/Scars: Nahri has horrible slashing scars covering up a tattoo on one of her wrists. The image is indiscernible beneath the gnarled flesh. She does not speak of it, everyone knows better than to ask.

F A M I L Y

Parents Shining Sapphire A wealthy Ala Mhigan merchant and otherworldly beauty. She was ruthless and over-ambitious, and she drew attention from the wrong people, which got her killed. Ambiguously Important Father A Roe or maybe Hyur who might've had a very distant claim to the Ala Mhigan throne. He was killed in one of King Theodoric's purges. Nahri never knew him. She's probably looking into it though, just in case she has claim to Ala Mhigo herself. Siblings: Elle de Marinterre - Older half-sister Nahri knows of Elle but has never met her. Allegedly Elle "stinks of human decency". Elle would try to build a relationship with her sister, but Nahri would never cooperate. She is a botanist. Grandparents: Dead, most definitely dead. In-laws and Other: Miray: An Ul’dah woman with dark hair, bronze skin, a voice like summer rain. She drinks her coffee hot without cream because she says it tastes like sunlight in the desert. She left Nahri after finding out how she was making her fortune (spoiler: it was very illegal). Ajisai Kawanami : Nahri is only nice to her because the Warrior of Light is a capable tool and tools must be maintained else they lose their edge. Pets: I have a hard time imagining this woman having a pet. She's just too busy.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Thaumaturgy To survive in this world, one needs a competitive edge and a fireball seems like a very good place to start. She joined up with the Thaumaturge's Guild when she first arrived in Ul'dah, because if the Ul'dahns would not lift a finger to help her, then she would help herself. Nahri just loves to play with fire, it makes things so much more interesting.

Sleight of Hand Good fortune comes to those who know how to pluck it from well-off pockets. Nahri understands that one cannot make something of nothing and sometimes ‘something’ needs to be borrowed from those with too much. She is also good at card tricks and cutesy street magic that she is very proud of. In another life, she might’ve been an entertainer.

Business Sense Some people might call Nahri’s tactics theft or underhanded, but those people are beggars at the table.

Hobbies: Blackmail, drinking top shelf liquor, falling in love with every woman who reminds her even vaguely of Miray, reading cheesy romance novels, fencing, gambling, making new problems to avoid her personal problems

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Altruism is something people would not associate with Nahri Sohl, but she does see to it that one's basic human needs are met. She does not care about your tragic backstory. She does care that you are starving and nobody is lifting a finger to help. She's very "give a man a fish, teach him to fish, and then leave him to sink or swim." Most Negative Trait: Ambition rolls off this woman like waves of heat in the desert air. She knows exactly what she wants and how she's going to get it. That's not inherently bad thing. It's just she's willing to "do away" with anyone who gets in her path. She'll find all your dirty secrets and she'll use them against you however she pleases. She’ll put you in the ground if that’s where you suit her.

L I K E S

Colors: Gold [the way it looked in Miray's hair], turquoise, deep brown, amber sunshine, red like desert rocks, white Smells: Fresh flatbread, sunshine on linen, hot coffee, the coconut sweetness of Miray’s perfume Textures: Silk, fur Drinks: Bitter coffee with a bite of lokum, fresh spring water, the licorice taste of arak

OTHER DETAILS

Smokes: Yes absolutely Drinks: If it's outrageously expensive, it's on the table Drugs: I want to say no, but honestly I feel like Nahri probably does lines of something in her office. If anyone wants to school me on Eorzean drugs, please do. Mount Issuance: She seldom leaves Ul'dah but when she does, she hires carriages, takes airships, and uses aetherytes. She doesn't usually go on journeys long enough to warrant having a mount. Been Arrested: A few times when she was first learning the dance of taking without permission.

tagged by the dear @ishgard ! Thank you!! :D

tagging (with much affection, trying to tag some friends I didn't tag in the last one. If you already been tagged then consider yourself double, triple, quadruple tagged and you get a smiley face sticker from me): @elliewiltarwyn @sailor-artemis @eorzeanflowers @lilbittymonster @flusteredracoons @laladventures @hinganskies @magitekbun @icehearts

[inairbinad]

play me something

I had big plans for @steddie-week, but alas, the last few days have put me through it. So even though I hit a wall with this one, enjoy a little excerpt of my season 2 rewrite (that hopefully I'll finish one day), where Concussed Steve loses any and all ability to hide his giant crush on Eddie.

Day 2 Prompt: Fade to Black, Metallica | 1200 words | Pre-relationship

Before Steve knew what was happening, Eddie hauled him up off the floor of Joyce’s kitchen. Eddie got a solid grip around his waist, then twisted his face towards Steve’s.

“Can you walk?” he asked. Steve liked the way he could feel the little puff of Eddie’s breath on his cheek. He slid his arm around Eddie's shoulders for good measure.

“Think so,” Steve nodded, which set off another round of throbbing pain. He winced, fighting off a wave of nausea, and added, “Don’t let go, though.”

“I won’t,” Eddie promised, and squeezed Steve’s waist tighter. “C’mon, big boy. I gotcha.”

Steve smiled at the nickname, distracted enough to take a minute to realize Eddie was taking him outside instead of towards the couch. “Where are we going?”

“Gotta get out of here before that oaf wakes up,” Eddie nodded towards Billy, passed out on the floor. Steve thought that was probably a good idea.

"You're so strong," Steve marveled, leaning further into Eddie as they made their way into the cool November air. Robin snorted from somewhere behind them, and Eddie chuckled like maybe Steve wasn't making any sense. Steve was about to argue his case, but he saw Max was waiting for them with the car door open.

It was only then that it occurred to Steve that they were stealing Billy’s Camaro. Steve laughed goofily as Eddie helped him fold himself into the back seat, then Robin quickly climbed in beside him. Steve rested his head on her shoulder and focused on not drifting off as the rest of the kids somehow squeezed themselves inside.

“There’s too many people in this car,” Steve pointed out as he watched Mike climb into Dustin’s lap, then as Max and Lucas squashed themselves into the front seat together.

“Thanks, mom,” Mike groused. Robin did the honors of flicking his ear for Steve.

Eddie finally climbed into the driver’s side, then twisted around to check on Steve again. “You okay?”

“Eh,” Steve shrugged, but offered Eddie a small smile. Eddie's grin in return was lopsided, almost fond, and Steve had to reel in the urge to lean over and kiss his rapidly blackening eye better.

That got a little easier when Eddie faced forward and turned the ignition. The sound of electric guitar went screeching through the cabin, and Steve grimaced from the way it made his ears ring anew. Without even having to look at Steve’s face, Eddie quickly turned the volume down with a muttered apology tossed over his shoulder.

Steve wondered if Eddie had ever been concussed before. He would have asked, but he had to focus pretty hard on not throwing up once the car started moving.

“Sorry to say, but I think the only redeeming quality about your step-brother is his taste in music, Red,” Eddie said after a while. Steve hadn’t really been listening, but he wasn’t surprised that whatever Billy had left playing in his tape deck was right up Eddie’s alley.

“You would say that,” Max scoffed, but Steve could see the way she smiled at Eddie across the center console.

“How’s he doing back there, Buckley?” Eddie called back, and Robin squeaked when she saw that he turned around to look for the briefest of moments.

“How are you doing?” Robin countered at a near screech. “Keep your eyes on the road! Steve’s fine!”

“Am I?” Steve groaned, mostly in response to her volume.

“Yes, you are,” Robin insisted, then went back to petting his head in soothing strokes. Steve let himself get lost in that, and the low hum of whatever Billy had been listening to before he came and rocked Steve’s head half to hell with a dinner plate.

“What are we listening to?” Steve asked as Eddie pulled into a gas station. It didn’t immediately strike him as odd that Lucas and Max got out instead of Eddie, and that they didn’t actually seem to be putting gas in the car. He was too busy looking at Eddie’s face as he turned around in the driver’s seat and gave Steve the softest smile he’d ever seen.

“Metallica,” Eddie answered. “For Whom the Bell Tolls, specifically…and ironically. Is it hurting your head?”

Steve didn’t know why that was ironic, but he thought maybe he might get the chance to find out if he kept Eddie talking.

“No,” Steve answered, barely daring to shake his head. He was happy to realize it didn’t make him want to barf anymore. “You just never got the chance to play me something.”

Steve didn’t realize how his voice was positively dripping with affection until he caught Mike making a face at him out of the corner of his eye.

Robin laughed nervously and said, “Geez, dingus. You sound delirious.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at Robin, winked at Steve, and then turned back around so he could fast forward to the next song. The softest of the guitar riffs Steve had heard on this tape so far started up, and he immediately sunk into it like a warm bath.

“How’s that?” Eddie asked, looking back at him again. Like maybe all he really wanted in that moment was to take care of Steve.

“I like it,” Steve said with a dopey smile.

“Good,” Eddie grinned back. Then he pointed his forefinger at Steve, and the streetlight gently glinted off the silver of his skull ring. “Just because this song’s called Fade to Black, don’t get any ideas.”

“I won’t,” Steve promised, feeling the dip of disappointment in his gut when Max and Lucas climbed back into the car, and Eddie had to focus on driving instead of him again. He realized that they were accompanied by the loud sound of sloshing when Eddie pulled back onto the road. “What—?”

Eddie looked almost guilty from what Steve could see from the side of his face, and the way his shoulders hitched up around his ears.

“Where are we actually going?” Steve asked warily, even though he already knew.

“The tunnels,” all the kids said in unison.

“I thought I said no!” Steve tried to sound stern but it came out as more of a whine.

Robin patted his shoulder in sympathy and said, “Your kids overruled us.”

“How?” Steve asked, incredulous. He realized the three of them were outnumbered, but these dweebs were small. “Eds?”

Steve watched Eddie clench his hands around the steering wheel before he answered.

“Look, Stevie,” Eddie said, sounding like he was leveling with him. “I’ll turn around—”

“WHAT?” all the kids, again, yelled together.

“Let me finish!” Eddie hissed over them. Steve appreciated the way he got them to shut the fuck up without yelling. “I think their plan is solid, Steve. I also think even if I do turn around, they’ll knock me and Buckley out and steal this car again the minute I do. Because your children are kind of scary.”

Max looked entirely smug as she turned around and wiggled her eyebrows at Steve from the front seat.

“Steve, you promised to keep us safe,” Dustin cut in with a surprisingly rational tone. He leaned around Robin and looked Steve in the eye as he gave him a pretty convincing puppy dog stare. “He's right. We're doing this either way, but we'd rather do it with you. So keep us safe. Please?”

Steve paused, even though he knew he wasn’t gonna keep arguing the point. They already had the goddamn gas and everything.

“Why are they my kids?” Steve grumbled, and Eddie laughed.

[sunnysideaeggs]

what do you imagine the relationship like between Daeron and Alicent, and the rest of his siblings? like how would you cast it/present it if you could, and what would be his intro to the show? xx

In my Daeron feels getting ready for S2 <3333

Daeron is a kind of mysterious type of guy for me, the undeniable hero of Team Green and surrounded by mystery in his life and death.

By all means he’s a good kid, his mom’s favorite and the golden child. Being the youngest he probably was closer to Alicent than most of his siblings, and was the one they protected the most. I can see him getting a strict Hightower education (faith of the seven, scholarly inclined, politics and diplomacy) and excelling at it. Otto secretly wishing he was the firstborn lol.

I can see him looking up to his big brothers. He trains hard to be like Aemond, and cut his hair short like Aegon. Maybe as a kid he was following around Aegon and laughing at his jokes, and wanted so bad for Aemond to teach him to fight <3333

He gives me young Jaime and Sansa vibes, liking the stories about knights and fairytales. Him listening to Hel and her prophecies <333 or them both making life at court. Him and Hel were the most beloved of the Targtowers, so maybe Alicent took them both to do charity or to pray together. PR king.

Ideally, I would have introduced him by the time Jacaerys was born. Instead of the Joffrey birth scene, we can have a Jace birth scene along with a Daeron one. It would’ve brought more Rhaenyra/Alicent parallels and given Alicent a much needed birth scene, which the writers didn’t gave her. It makes the timeline smoother, the time jumps smaller and gives more time to develop the factions and rift between A/R. Also it brings a Jace/Daeron parallel too, as they’re the only heros of the dance. They were supposed to have shared the cradle. It also makes noise about Vizzy having a child and a grandchild the same age. But alas, hotd writers can’t write.

In S2, I would introduce Daeron by Otto sending ravens to their allies around Westeros. They’re our ‘eyes’ in all this. We can get some sneak peeks of how the ideological side of the conflict affects lords around Westeros and even peasants. For example, would a lord be more willing to support Aegon because he has a married older sister whose children could lay claim to his castle? Or a heiress lady who fears her bastard older brother? We can give actual reasons for the greens having support instead of “SHE HAS A PWUSSY, SHE CANT RULE” narrative the writers were pushing on S1.

And then, we have Oldtown. The great high tower, the citadel, the city vibrant and lively. We get closer, and in the training yard there’s our boy. A happy teen, he’s training with a few knights and the master of arms mentions how just recently he started training with real steel (this is important, shows his youth and how he’s not yet ready for war). From above, Gwayne (I’m going to assume he’s at Oldtown, since there was no mention of him at court lol) and Ormund are talking about the future, how Daeron is doing good, how will they start ‘movements’, etc. Ormund is called by his maester (the raven by Otto) and Gwayne gets a lil uncle-nephew bonding moment where Dae shows all his charisma and endears the audience because he’s the best boy.

While they talk (idk about what, how he misses him mom and sibs?) they head somewhere to see the blue queen, Tessarion, in all her magnificence. She’s happily purring while some maesters take care of her (grand maester conspiracy!) and make some annotations about godknowswhat. Tess and Dae bonds and Gwayne stays behind saying ‘he doesn’t trust dragons’.

(Just as an annotation, if Gwayne was indeed at KL and they just forgot to invite him to the coronation in E9, Ormund watches Dae alone, the talk can be done between Ormund and Dae, and the maester with the letter can be an ending to the scene with Tessarion. I am a flexible queen.)

The rest of the episode continues, yadda yadda. Btw, this is the first episode, Vhagar-ate aftermath. War is now imminent and this episode centers in the game of thrones aspects of all of this. We can also add Nyra grieving, Daemon being slimy and Aemond getting the chancla. Aegon’s party is a must too. We can even get Alicent being worried about her son at Oldtown, wishing he was with her and she could protect him (</3). If you want to get REALLY bookish, get me an old and wrinkled Vaegon at the citadel, frowning and staying tf out of it. As an easter egg.

At the end of the episode, we go to Oldtown again and Ormund sent for Daeron in his office. He asks him about family, politics, etc (makes him smart and gives redundancy to why the greens are fighting for). Ormund then asks about Tessarion, and how she’s growing well, etc. How she could fight in battles, if the need arose. Dae understands the danger and shows his loyalty to his family. Then we get the news of Vizzy, Aegon, Luke, etc. Daeron finishes with ‘What happens next?’, having a frame of his face. The shot ends. We get a view of Oldtown at night, getting closer to the high tower. We watch the beacon light up green. The credits roll up.

[argentumcor]

I have a very silly, girly Star Wars Legends theory.

Cheriss Ke Hanadi was introduced in Starfighters of Adumar and clearly was intended to have a future somewhere down the line. She's a lower-class Adumari who came to glory by being a very good duelist with, uh, blaster swords. I like her. She had a crush on Wedge, then got over it under duress, then helped save her world from local (inept) tyranny and the Empire, then decided to leave and join the Republic to train as a pilot. A new Rogue! Never came to pass, alas.

Adumar is a weird place, cut off from the rest of the galaxy for a long time, with an odd warrior culture that strikes me as rather...French, very Three Musketeers, court intrigue, duels, assassins, fashion...it's a fun setting for the shenanigans that happen in Starfighters. She'd be a fun fish-out-of-water, and she can be very practical and capable in a crisis.

She's also about Kyp Durron's age. Kyp mentions at some point during NJO that he has a girlfriend (after he stops crushing on Jaina? Man, they really did not know what to do with Kyp). I think Cheriss was meant to be his love interest.

Cheriss is a killer, with a pretty high body count accumulated in public duels to the death, and is by galactic standards a barbarian. She has no awareness of Kyp's genocidal Sith rage episode starting out, didn't grow up knowing about the Sun Crusher. She'd be a good match for Kyp, who is also an outsider with a dark (not that Dark) side and a Dark (yes, that Dark) past that makes him...not someone with a normal future. If they wanted to do more with Kyp- and I think there was an intent to at some point- having this no-nonsense female French murder barbarian Rogue pilot to cut through his nonsense and snark would have been a fun balance. Him with a ligthsaber and her with her blastsword promised a lot of fun action scenes and sparring scenes.

If you were not going to narratively exile Kyp for the genocidal Sith rage episode, then he needed people who were not connected with it. I do think there's an interesting story to be told about Kyp having to find a way to be a Jedi who did horrible things. I don't mean he Force choked a guy or in his anger summoned Force Lightning or wore a scary black robe for a period of time or turned his lightsaber red (back in the day, BTW, red lightsabers were just red, they didn't mean anything; Leia's first lightsaber was ruby red because she liked the color). Kyp murdered millions of people using a superweapon that made suns go nova. This was the horrible thing Kyp did and now has to live with, and he did it in such a way as everyone knows about it. Luke accepted him back into the fold, but not everyone in the Order- Corran and Mara most prominently, pretty important people among the Jedi- agreed with this, and he will always be a cautionary tale among the New Jedi Order. That's an interesting story, but he is kind of...locked into place if all his relationships are with people who know his deal and operate by 'modern' ethics. What Kyp did is too far- and seriously, in the books it is brutal- to have him just be the Jedi's 'bad boy'.

You can see that in NJO. He's melodramatic, wears a black cloak, and is kind of treated as the 'bad boy', but it can't work. He didn't just, like, murder a camp of slavers or something in a rage, he murdered millions of people and wiped entire star systems off the map in a pretty calculated plan of revenge. Star Wars Legends is not the kind of setting where that can be dismissed as the actions of a 'bad boy', it's a very big deal! People still don't trust him in NJO and it's been decades and they aren't wrong.

So my theory is that there was plan to do more and more interesting things with Kyp and Cheriss and they were supposed to be a thing, too. Maybe I'll write it, I need to figure out what Kyp was doing at the time, which was probably being treated like a dangerous animal by all the other students at the Academy which, for some reason, Luke still kept on Yavin.

[tinygamertris]

Jude kir Dravis

WoL/OC tag meme! Tagged by @ecosystem-administrator, thank you!

Tagging in turn: @nights-at-crystarium, @graha-stan-account, any FFXIV fans who see this and want to go for it!

(Choose whichever WoL/OC you want, do it more than once, ignore me entirely. what am I, a cop?)

B A S I C S

Name: Jude kir Dravis (kir for Veteran Medicus)

Nicknames: Hey Jude, Judy, Mongrel (Derogatory)

Age: 24 at the start of ARR so probably somewhere around 27-29 at this point

Nameday: 21st Sun of the Fifth Astral Moon

Race: Half Garlean half-Keeper Miqo'te

Gender: Male leaning nonbinary

Sexuality: Homosexual

Profession: Medic, Scientist and Engineer in a big ol' mess

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C T S

Hair: Dark Brown, shaggy, formerly short but grew to jaw length during his time in Elpis

Eyes: Amber

Skin: Light dusty brown

Tattoos/scars: A scar on the left side of his face centred around a blade's cut with branching lightning-like patterns leading out from it, courtesy of Zenos yae Galvus in Doma. An Archon tattoo on his right shoulder post-Endwalker, for the studies he did on Akasa/Dynamis and how it manifests in Ultima Thule.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Father, a pureblood Garlean and head of House Dravis before the second Garlean Civil War; Mother (Mama), a Keeper Miqo'te who rose 'above her station' under Emperor Solus as a Medicus; Adopted Mother, his Father's pureblood Garlean wife. His Father and Adopted Mother have an open relationship and both have brought children and partners into the family through adoption.

Siblings: Three half-siblings through his father, one pure Garlean and two half Elezen. Two half-siblings through his adopted mother, both half Hyur. A sibling adopted from an orphanage after showing immense potential with magitek, pure Hyur (Gentian).

Grandparents: Father's parents, both pure Garlean, former heads of House Dravis, both deceased. Mama's parents, somewhere in Ala Mhigo, current status unknown. Adopted mother's parents, both pure Garlean, current heads of House Priscus. (Yes this means Maxima is a distant cousin.)

In-laws and other: No official in-laws but try telling House Fortemps that he's not family, they'll laugh in your face! Ameliance considered him family long before they met, and Fourchenault has been talked around to naming him a ward of House Leveilleur after seeing how much he adores and will protect the twins.

Pets: He had a pet cat called Scraps when he was young, but no pets since. He considers his life in Eorzea too disruptive (and downright dangerous since falling in with the Scions) to be a responsible pet owner.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Has inherited an empathic talent from his Azem, which manifested along with his echo during the aftermath of Carteneau. Two years training at the Magitek Academy in the Imperial City before transferring to Medicus training. Able to use a gun, gunblade and bow with decent proficiency, and a strong talent with the geometry and mathematics of the Arcanist and both its offshoots. Became a Reaper when the Telophoroi made their appearance with the full intention of returning to Garlemald and doing what needs doing to protect his people. Noble upbringing gave him some small diplomatic knowledge, but he prefers to leave that kind of thing to Alphinaud.

Hobbies: Cooking, sewing, reading, pretty much all kinds of crafting. Loves animals and has been known to spend off-days helping with chocobo stables all over Eorzea.

T R A I T S

Most positive trait: He has a deep, deep love for his friends and family, and will go to ridiculous lengths to protect them. If he decides you're one of his, you can expect him to go to the full extent of his abilities and then some for you.

Most negative trait: He has a lot of difficulty with life-long depression and anxiety, a habit of thinking that his problems 'aren't big enough' to try and get help for (he's on the spectrum but Garlemald doesn't have very good mental health anything let alone support), and these have combined into a nasty tendency to hide his negative feelings and bottle them up until he explodes.

L I K E S

Colors: White, black, grey and dark green.

Smells: Herbs from cooking and making medicine, mild soap.

Textures: Soft, fluffy, smooth and warm. Give him a nice soft fuzzy blanket and he's a happy lad.

Drinks: Cool to cold, fruity, sometimes fizzy. He loves lemonade with berries in it especially.

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Not a chance, he knows what that does to people's lungs!

Drinks: Only occasionally, he doesn't enjoy being drunk and tends only to partake at his very lowest or very highest moments.

Drugs: He's tried weed a few times - on Urianger's suggestion, which surprised everyone but the Pixies - and didn't mind it but he doesn't really see the point in seeking it out. And as for anything stronger, well, he's a Medicus. He doesn't want to risk holes in his brain!

Mount Issuance: Precious, their Grand Company chocobo, is still one of his most trusted companions and is pampered at every opportunity. Muffin, his black chocobo, lives a cushy life in Gridania and is often visited by Kan-E-Senna herself; Jude gets sick at the idea of the 'bo that Haurchefant raised getting hurt. He recently was gifted a flying crescent moon mount by the Loporrits and has great fun giving them all rides.

Been Arrested: Only in MSQ incidents, although he's absolutely come close once or twice. Looking at you Asahi you colossal piece of shit!

[imakemywings]

for the character bingo: Maglor/Elros/Finduilas? (no pressure to do all of them!)

Maglor:

Maglor oh Maglor...you fetid dead shrimp of an Elf. I actually like Maglor a lot, I think he's a very interesting character. He's both an artist and a deadly warrior. He's the only Feanorian we see really push back against the Oath and the only one who ever suggests they just stop. He doesn't hang onto that, but there is an effort and there are other signs late in the First Age that he has regrets about the path he's taken and I think he's genuine about those. However, I am exhausted with how the fandom handwaves his crimes, acts like he's somehow less culpable than his family in their war crimes, lambasts his victims as authors of their own suffering, acts like his victims are obliged to forgive him because he feels bad, and act like his relationship with Elrond and Elros was some fluffy sweet found family story. Maglor's fucked-up-ness, as with all the Feanorians, is a huge part of what makes him interesting.

I think Maglor, for most of his life, was an incredibly selfish person. That exhibits in different ways. In Tirion, it was because he was an Artist and he did not have time for his stupid brothers and cousins' issues, he was Creating Art that was going to last a Thousand Years and he was above petty nonsense like caring about other people's problems. Maglor, like Feanor, feels a lot, and he is very willing to subordinate other people's needs to his feelings. Maglor's feelings >>> everything else. (The drama in Tirion was never-ending!)

When we see him start wavering after the Third Kinslaying, I think a few things were going on, but one of those things was I think Maglor was starting to panic. He was looking at what they had done and realizing that actually, he's a pretty shitty person when everything is tallied up. Nobody is going to remember him for his art--they're going to remember him for the ruthless slaughter in pursuit of his father's property and the total extinguishing of an entire culture out of Middle-earth. This is where we see him start to push back against Maedhros and the Oath--he isn't upset about the one Silmaril lost to Earendil, he argues against pursuing the two held by the host of Aman, he suggests they go and repent to the Valar and accept whatever punishment might be due them.

"Fostering" Elrond and Elros was, to me, a desperate Hail Mary effort at self-redemption by Maglor. It was also, again, a deeply selfish act. He took two traumatized children whose family and people he butchered, whose home he had destroyed, and whose culture he had erased, and tried to make them the vessel of his salvation. Which is not to say he didn't genuinely love them! I think he did and I think they were perhaps the only source of joy for him at that time in his life. And I think he realized somewhere on the front end that this was fucked up, but by then he was attached to them, and it took him years to reach the point of being selfless enough to let go of them and let them leave.

Maglor's journey to regret is complete, to me, when he rejects the Silmaril. At this point, he openly acknowledges to himself and others that what they did was wrong, it was in vain, and he regrets. If he could do it over, he would do things differently. But it's too late now--and there's no one left to hear him say it.

The interesting thing about "Maglor lives" AUs to me is that it gives him the chance he lacked in canon to make good on his claims of regret and actually do better. Because I think he is capable of it, it's just that he never quite gets there in canon, not before it's too late.

Finduilas:

Most of what I have to say about Finduilas is based on headcanon, because alas, we don't get a ton out of her in canon.

Finduilas is someone I see as aggressively optimistic. Not the kind of dewy-eyed optimism where she thinks things will just ~work out~ but more of a determination to do everything she can to make things work out and a commitment to avoiding self-defeating pessimism. She will not despair until there is absolutely no avenue left to her; I think she does a great job of maintaining estel. This is why she held out hope that Gwindor would come back from Angband.

But I think the Gwindor who returned from Angband was naturally a very different person than the one who had ridden out from Nargothrond. He would have necessarily come back extremely traumatized after twelve years as a slave of Melkor and while I think Finduilas was committed to helping him recover, I think his newly cynical and harsh outlook on life cooled the ardor of their earlier relationship.

I also think she was drawn to Turin because he has a similar kind of hopeful outlook. In a perverse sense, despite his pessimism about himself, Turin keeps trying to make things better and keeps believing he can make things better even when everything goes wrong for him again and again. I think Finduilas was drawn to this attitude and that's a big part of what made her fall in love with him.

I also like to think Finduilas was a healer! She was interested in medicine and made a personal study of it for many years and even delivered babies in Nargothrond.

I don't think she and Gil-galad were especially close but I do think she looked up to him a lot and would have been proud to see him take the crown of the high king of the Noldor.

Sorry Elros, I don't really have enough thoughts about you to share ╯︿╰ I do like the headcanon though that part of the reason he chose to be a Man was because of his disgust with how the Elves had behaved in the First Age and that he never fully forgave the Feanorians for their actions. I also see him as a rather adventurous person--he has to be, to willingly take the path with the unknown end!

[meta-squash]

i'm looking at my absolutely ancient document of random ideas for torchwood fics and some of them are pretty cool and i might do them now that it's been over a decade and i'm a much better writer

some of them are so vague i have absolutely no idea what my original idea was but i really really wish i did

some random rambles and such about old torchwood fic ideas under the cut and also a list of those weird fragments i wrote down

-For AGES, like since idk 2011 or something, I've had this idea to write something based on phalaenopsis, which is a species of orchid. Ages ago I had a slightly more concrete but still vague idea, but I lost the document a few external hard drives ago, so now I only have the vaguest of fragments. All I remember is that it was supposed to start with some orchids in a pot appearing on Owen's desk, and then the world starts ending. I wanted to use the characteristics of the flower as the overarching metaphor and also the literal conflict, but I can't remember what any of my ideas were. I might do some research and see if I can construct anything out of the fragments I have, since I still think it's a cool idea.

-I wrote a paragraph about how Gwen's entry into Torchwood was mostly painless compared to the others, basically comparing it to a birth by c-section and the others a natural birth (abstractly). This one I can mostly easily develop into a cool abstract oneshot, so I'm going to do that. I want to explore how the lack of trauma makes her different, and more specifically how it makes her unprepared but less ulta-sensitive than her coworkers. Basically about how everyone else is so traumatized and emotionally raw that they have to become desensitized to certain aspects of what they do or else they'd collapse entirely, compared to Gwen who doesn't have to and therefore is willing to face it. (And how that's not always a good thing for everyone.)

-I wrote 3 whole pages of an AU where Owen doesn't actually die/disintegrate in the nuclear plant and somehow they're able to get him out, so he's around for the 456. I only wrote the scene where he's in the warehouse with Gwen and they watch on the screen as Jack and Ianto are killed by the 456.

-I have about a page of writing where the whole of Torchwood (except Jack) have weird dreams and wake up with bruises on their bellies and then everyone in the world breaks into chaos, and I don't remember where I was going with it, but it looks cool.

And then a bunch of smaller fragments of ideas:

-Jack telling Owen "You did good" about something. I just love the fatherly relationship Jack has with Owen, how much Owen clearly loves and admires Jack and desperately wants his approval but also like a teenager struggles with authority shit.

-Ianto kills Gray in his cryo chamber and Jack doesn't react. I don't know where I was going with this originally but I like the idea of Ianto "finishing" the whole ordeal and taking the decision out of Jack's hands for once. And I want to explore Jack's internal reaction in opposition to his lack of outward reaction.

-"A cluster of trollies is in the middle of the rain-dark carpark, huddled together as if trying to stay warm." I'm not sure if this is a phrase I copied from somewhere as an idea for something, or if I came up with it, but I really like it and if it's not someone else's I want to use it. Alas, I can't find anything when I google it.

-"Are you a sun that you can command the stars to revolve around you? If not, you should re-attach yourself to the plow." Another line which I'm convinced must be from something and I copied it because it gave me an idea, but I can't find a source for it from googling. I think it's really cool though.

-A sequel to paperclipbitch's fic Far Off, Like A Dull Rumour Of Some Other War in which Ianto's journal is found by some future Torchwood employee.

-A sequel to paperclipbitch's If You Pass Go, Do Not Collect £200, where Ianto takes Owen's hand and puts it around his own throat in order to show that he trusts Owen and doesn't think he's the same person as he was in Victorian London.

-Jack returns to the rubble of the Hub after Ianto and Steven's deaths

-A person digging through the rubble of the Hub after the explosion in CoE finds the Ghost Machine and uses it. The fic would mostly be comprised of small flashbacks of the team in the Hub, little filler moments and character studies of different episode bits.

-A fic based on I Am Throwing My Arms Around Paris by Morrissey. Specifically the line "Only stone and steel accept my love", exploring Ianto's relationship with Jack (stone) and Lisa (steel).

-Something exploring Ianto's mental dialogue in Greeks Bearing Gifts ("like my stomach's full of rats")

-A filler for Journey's End where Jack tells Rose that he can't die and why

And then a bunch of single lines that are so vague I don't remember what they were meant to mean but they still sound interesting and maybe I can make something out of them:

-The king is stepping down

-soul-atoms (Lucretius)

-“Why don’t you open a window?” “They’re all open.”

-Fist fight—1/2 hour, punching each other and crying

-Woman with a triangle sticking out of her shoulder blade

-“No!” Short and sharp, like a gunshot.

-Everyone here knows that everyone here is thinking about somebody else

-“Doesn’t look like a brain at all”

A lot of these last ones make me go ????? because I have no idea what the source is for most of them and I don't know what I was thinking about why I wrote them down. But they sound cool!

[weltato]

Why I Think Toad Is So Obsessed With Speed - Long Post

This is a long post (and mostly a wall of text, sorry) about The Wind In The Willows, specifically the 2016/17 musical version since I haven't read the book in a very long time.

TL;DR in the tags

Using my new friend Medical News Today I have found an article via Google that was medically reviewed by someone with a PhD, so I'm kind of inclined to believe this is pretty accurate. It's littered with references too, as all good articles should be.

This article is about the definition and symptoms of an "adrenaline junkie" (also known as a "thrill-seeker" or a "daredevil") - I think Toad is addicted to the adrenaline and the feeling he gets the faster he goes. He's not just bad at driving because he doesn't bother to learn, he's bad at driving because he actively enjoys and is seeking out the danger to get another hit. To quote Ratty in 'Speed Is Of The Essence' -> "Speed is an addiction, and alas poor Toad is hooked." He really is hooked, it's plain to see through the show.

He goes from boat to boat, then to a horse-drawn cart (despite the horse's desire to not have a fast paced life, hence why she decided to pull barges instead), then to a motorcar and then finally (by the end of the show at least) to a jetpack. We see what happens with the motorcar through the show - Toad is obsessed with the thing. He says multiple times that he needs more speed (both in 'The Amazing Mr Toad' and in little moments through the show that I can't remember right now, but he says it at least twice) and even repeats the line "speed is the quintessence of what Toad is all about" from earlier in the show. He even stole some bloke's car when he couldn't have one of his own; he faked a heart attack (poorly, but he did it) which scared Mole so much that he ran off just for Toad to bounce back up again two seconds later without a care to go and steal a car.

Now, I could go on a whole other post about Toad's relationship and attitude towards Ratty, Mole, Badger, etc., but I won't right now. Maybe later, who knows. Just know that it's there.

Even when in jail, he didn't seem too bothered. Yes he was dramatic and over the top and yes he was devastated to be in prison, but he was doing it for the attention. It wasn't a subdued "oh I've done it this time" with how he took to the chains and the bars coming up, but rather a big show and dance and an "oh, woe is me, look how I've been wronged!" performance. Yes, most likely there for theatrical effect because it's a musical for all ages, but that's just it - Toad is theatrical. He annoys his escape route, but when she threatens to leave he goes quiet and apologises and then goes right back to being dramatic and happy-go-lucky. I do believe that was a genuine show of remorse to the Gaoler's Daughter, just like how he was when he realised the same guy was coming his way in the car and when he started singing 'The Finale', but as soon as he finds a way out he takes it and runs.

Sorry, I got a little off-track there, but here are the symptoms for when someone is getting dosed with epinephrine, which is the hormone your body produces when in the fight-or-flight response (which is a "reaction that occurs when a person senses or perceives they are in danger"):

increased heart rate

sweating

decreased feeling of pain

heightened awareness

sharpening of mental focus

increased strength

Now, I'm going to focus on these when they become relevant, because the first two that I notice the most is decreased pain and increased strength - have you noticed how many times Toad gets knocked off somewhere? Mole even says that he's been in hospital three times and that's just in the first two seasons that Mole knows him. He crashed the toff's car, then he was thrown off a moving train, then he fell into a canal (or wherever the barge was, I'm assuming a canal) which will not have been warm at all, and then he crashed the same car again! Even the tightening of the corset around him didn't wind him for long; probably set off his epinephrine again, idk.

Toad is usually a loud and brash and blustery fellow who has little regard for his or anyone else's safety, but one thing he isn't is a coward. I won't lie, I've tried to put that label on him because at first glance it suits him so well with how he tries to get his way out of the 20-year sentence, but he goes straight for the Chief Weasel when Portia is in danger - as usual, he fumbles at first, but he eventually gets the upper hand. He's a proud and ungrateful creature, as the Gaoler's Daughter said, but he's nothing if not creative; once given the chance (and really, his only escape option), he went head first into Being A Woman™. Being the first to fight against the Chief Weasel - "step away from that sir, step away I say!" - isn't just latent bravery: it's getting the sense of fear and the kick of adrenaline by being the Hero Of The Hour. He didn't even focus on being chased across six counties and causing thousands of pounds worth of damage, he just focused on having his Hall back.

Heightened awareness let's you pay more attention to details and analyse the things around you to greater length. Now, this isn't really shown by Toad in the show, apart from maybe how obsessed he is with his own motorcar and how he wants it to be perfect, but do you want to know who does keep note of everything? Ratty. That's more of an anxiety thing for him possibly, since he's exasperated with Toad for pretty much the entire show, but there is a moment at the end where Toad finally says out loud what he's recognised about himself - "sometimes I ask a lot, sometimes I lose the plot".

Again, sharpening of mental focus probably doesn't apply to Toad quite so much, but it does apply to Mole when he frightens the stoats that are guarding the door to Toad Hall - Mole is a cautious animal, despite the joy of the new adventures that he's finding through the show. We see it when he first finds the river and meets Ratty, literally jumping into his arms so as not to get wet. We see it when he tries to hide under his coat when learning about the Wild Woods. We especially see it when he goes into the Wild Woods itself to find Badger and gets ambushed by the Wild Wooders. Mole is easy to scare, and yet in the moment when he should be the most scared he uses Toad's discarded disguise to scare off the stoats who then go and tell the rest of the Wild Wooders.

Oh boy, sweating and increased heart rate. Well, with the adrenaline from the speed of the car (and the thrill of flying with the jetpack later on), then yes his heart rate will kick up. I can't really give sweating a proper thing here because being in a theatre production gets very hot under the stage lights and with the choreography and the amount of energy you need to play Toad's role (nowhere near as much as Elle Woods, but still a lot) then you'll be sweating anyway. In the filmed London production of WITW, you can visibly see the main cast are sweating, so this point is moot. However, generally with fear, sweating is aligned, e.g. 'woke in a cold sweat' symbolising a nightmare. Also, according to the Woodland Trust, toads virtually always have dry skin, so I'd say it would be very easy to tell if Toad was sweating.

Here's a direct quote from the article about the causes and psychology behind adrenaline junkies (the severe ones, the ones who are dependent): "An adrenaline junkie enjoys seeking out activities and experiences that trigger the release of epinephrine. They may feel a compulsion to take part in these pursuits, which often drives them further. When a person undergoes a stressful or intense experience, the amygdala releases the hormones norepinephrine and epinephrine. Bursts of norepinephrine can lead to extreme happiness or euphoria. According to a 2009 study, norepinephrine could be a key factor in a person becoming dependent. Anecdotal evidence suggests that this unconscious need for stimulation can affect the way a person’s everyday behaviour. An adrenaline junkie may therefore create drama in their life to trigger their body’s response to stress. There are few studies on why people enjoy risk-taking activities. However, some research shows that personality type can play a role in a person becoming more of a risk-taker. One 2013 study suggests risk-takers were more likely to have a personality that showed traits of low conscientiousness combined with high extraversion, high neuroticism, or both."

Mate. If this doesn't sum up Toad, idk what does!

Extreme happiness or euphoria?? We see that all the time! He's ecstatic to have his home back, he's a puddle of joy when he finally gets back into a motorcar, barely anything phases him even when Ratty is tearing into him about their past friendship. Of course Toad creates drama, did you see the 'As If In A Dream' sequence? 'The Amazing Mr Toad' was pretty dramatic too, he had an entire performance and wasn't bothered by the hedgehogs at all - he didn't hear them over his joy of getting (what I assume to be) a fake award that was just for show, most likely. According to that 2013 study, Toad definitely has the traits of a risk-taker, at least in my opinion.

Now, in all of this, I'm not talking about substance abuse. This isn't someone administering adrenaline to Toad, but rather about him seeking out thrills to get the feeling of adrenaline and the euphoria that comes with it. This is all natural. At least, in a human sense, and since I'm mostly focusing on the more humanised musical version of WITW, this makes sense. As for the original animals they are based off, I have no idea, I'm not an animal expert.

As with any addiction, there are withdrawal symptoms:

cravings to do the thing he wants to do (as previously mentioned, he fakes a heart attack just to steal a car so he doesn't have to stay cooped up without a car)

less interest in other activities besides what he wants to do (the entire show is about Toad chasing speed, even yelling at the train driver to shovel in more coal to make the train go faster, and he gets bored of things very easily)

negative emotions, such as frustration, agitation, and restlessness (again, see the faking a heart attack scene; he's restless and runs Ratty and Mole around, even Badger to some extent, and gets very easily frustrated [such as when the guard was making a joke at his expense])

"A 2017 study states that individuals suffering from a compulsion to specific actions can reduce tension, stress, or anxiety by carrying them out."

I refer you to the moment when he's back in the toff's car after he's been thrown off the barge: he jumps up and down, requests to get in and then gives it a hug. Here's a picture.

See the smile? All tension and stress at being found out? Gone.

He's in his element, he's back where he feels he belongs. It's euphoric.

This article says that there is no inherent risk involved with leading an "exciting life" but it also says that if things get dangerous and out of hand then one should seek medical attention. These things include:

putting their health and well-being in danger (been in hospital at least 3 times, crashed at least 3 times over the course of the show, got thrown off a moving train and fell off a barge into (very most likely) freezing cold water)

causing distress (see Ratty, Mole and Badger through the show, and also that poor man who's car he stole twice)

causing the person not to fulfil their work, home, or other responsibilities (Toad? Responsible? As if!)

Also, remember the line "then he staggered, and he stumbled, and he fell on one knee"? Well, in the article following this main one, one of the changes to the body during an adrenaline rush is "redirecting blood toward the muscles, causing a surge in energy or shaking limbs". Staggering and stumbling? Well, the guy's just fallen from a barge into cold water and is still in shock from it, makes sense that he'd be all over the place.

Getting a jetpack is the next big thing because he's finally grown weary of motorcars. Finally. Once again, in 'Speed Is Of The Essence' Mrs Otter and Ratty tell both Mole and the audience that "[Toad's] tastes are rather fickle." Toad is showing off by flying around and arriving to his party in a jetpack...and so the cycle starts all over again!

For now, that's all I have to say on Toad. I want to hear what other people think! Even if this gets nowhere I'll have still written it down. Maybe I'll do more deep diving on the other characters soon.

[zozo-01]

💕💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕💕

ahhhhhh, gingerrrr!!! thank you, thank you for this ask!!! i shall try to provide interesting commentary, but alas, w o r d s T-T

in honour of the quinn trilogyyy, why not bring back my quinn and darlin' fic??? well too bad, that's what we're talking about!!! You and Me, For Old Times Sake?

this fic was written shortly after sam's 2022 hbs video, where he mentions prepping skyside for the monarchal summit. as the fandom does, they all decided that quinn would crash it, and instead of rolling my eyes, i said, "wait, hold on. you're actually onto something." a conversation with @softredrobin and their gorgeous artwork later, boom!!! we got quinn and darlin' having their lovers to enemies moment.

of course, my version of quinn in this story is different than canon! quinn. for starters, my quinn genuinely loved darlin' at one point, all be it obsessively. he just wants them to be his and is willing to do everything to remind them who they belong too. he's only violent when darlin' challenges that notion of who "owns" them. we also don't know enough about canon! quinn to see if he loved darlin' or loved the idea of them.

anyone who knows about my darlin' characterization knows that i think of them as a bleeding heart. they hate quinn for what he's done to others, but they can't help but remember the good times once in a while. so when they dance with him, they can't help but try to see the good in him, in hopes that he's changed for the better. if they have to kill him, they will, but that doesn't mean they want to.

it also highlights darlin's habit of tanking (ha, see what i did there?) any kind of discomfort they may face. especially if it means protecting someone they love. "If they let his hands on their body, he won’t be close to Sam." in my mind, darlin' would do anything to have the attention on them and deal with those consequences alone, i.e. dancing with quinn so he doesn't focus on anyone else, until someone notices.

the hardest part of this fic was probably finding a balance between "darlin' reminiscing about the good times" and "darlin' still being in love with quinn". i think it really helped to start with darlin' hating quinn how they were thinking about all the ways they could kill him. (remember, this was back in july 2022 when none of us knew if the quinn plot would be brought back.) but again, darlin's a softie underneath the violence forced on them.

in terms of darlin' POV, me saying that they couldn't let go of quinn was more them wishing things they could have fixed their ending. i've mention that i write darlin's character as a south asian woman, meaning their outlook on life reflects on what south asian woman are taught.

one key and toxic idea that many of us are taught that it's our job to fix others issues. typical "elder daughter trauma" stuff. this includes blaming ourselves for toxic relationships and having things end badly. darlin' has spent countless nights combing through the last few days with quinn and wondering if they said something differently, it wouldn't be like this. of course, none of it was their fault, but at this time, they were pretty early in their healing era.

then we get to the end of the dance, where quinn zips off to do his own thing. (stalking darlin' even longer.) almost immediately, darlin runs back to see sam, which is kind of a growth moment for them. in the past, darlin' in these situations would have run off somewhere and self destruct on their own. but now, they have and can rely on sam being there for the. besides, i can't help but not bring back my favourite southern man, hehe.

the ending ending was a last minute decision to include. for most of this fic, we only see darlin's POV and feelings about quinn, but the final lines were kinda my way to give a lil insight on the other side. in my mind (at this time at least), quinn does love darlin', but is so wrapped up in creating his perfect world (one where they are by his side) that he's willing to hurt them to keep them obedient. he acknowledges he fucked up, but he doesn't care, he just wants them.

i was originally going to make a part two of this fic where we see quinn's POV, but alas, tis was never meant to beee.

as always, i always have to slip in darlin' with a city accent. <333 "‘I swear I’ve seen this man before. Fuck, he don’t look like he’s clan but still…’" honestly, writing city accents are the hardest thing because a) in terms of writing, it can easily be mistaken for a southern accent and b) writing a city accent out can seem awkward and stilted, these are phrases that are only said for a reason.

anywho, once againnn, thank you thank you for your ask ginger!!!!!

[libidomechanica]

“So this guilty hand”

A tanka sequence

               1

Just the lake’s surface. French were unjust. So this guilty hand! I started up, whence all my lovely To-morrow I brew my beer.

               2

When these phrase, wherein lies happiness? For the truth doth breed, had seen thee and brought into her Dearie; I restless night and those regions?

               3

To his owlet pinions darken; and shame shines. How somewhere i have nothing that runneth ever by the times unto the pleasure!

               4

Who hath the Sum of right have Vizírs—but be they do we longer tarry. Under through whole age of linger in a sloping meal?

               5

—Whose pants do make vnspilling ear attend the mouth. As if crooning over striven to hide that title doth breed, to stirred at their earth.

               6

And I have seen my heart doth include those who are false to sayne for beautiful. Spring, should let its five days’ white. Time for themselves.

               7

How the other lord. To his shroud; and the pale lies bare to eat a peach? Time to die, her soule vnbodied Good, some old text, still more free.

               8

Of feathers, too, his streams,—even they in the secret love does the nearest of all. A rib’s a thousand living recollection.

               9

A crescent’s coruscation, to be plac’d fore damask roses. Let me in which so long I could not change. ’ There let its five days’ white.

               10

Than unswept stone besmear’d with teares doth come this cannot be—who binds himself more and launch. Thine ailment: tell me Love is so sick?

               11

Yourself arise, you may have the eyes of duetie to death! Under tower of myrth now she passed her, the semblance of good as Fort Knox.

               12

All that grows holds in perfection. Upon thy side again in thee. Love the same given to my hand, fair and never grownde did preach.

               13

Sad, cheeped, trilled and twittered! The Lady of Shalott. The thinks of it selfe he may find his forgotten hand the sun’s eyes.

               14

In the road be head or heart? Poets throned queen there was a soft October nightly votes particularly peopling Earth, nay!

               15

So much dangerous sky. The Starrs, all are? You were in strife is shame. Blackened about thee stand wakened, shiver. And we not see’t?

               16

To one, who was a library fine, I’ve got my gruel! The list of all. They err I dare to perceived with White-thorn neatly drawn.

               17

His divine, a patron of some time, and sail for a heart do hit, that, alas! Submits his eyelid’s distance like an architect.

               18

The fieldes so free. Will it not serve your bones supersede loveliness. What Juan’s chariot, rolling like-hat relationship.

               19

Wings presence was outspread but as they sat, had ever spring? Close by, began dancing o’er the might be redeem’d a second yoke.

               20

I try to think of yellow smoke that it should be. Was here be, as thou my old companies nimbly began to musick lendeth!

               21

That alp. And love is merchandized whose hands found againe: forget and still, a sleepe, witness best, and some world with under the starre.

               22

Thee, find the wind said, Alas! Gift refuse, nor with sounds, though I lacked its harvesters rich and do you, all so sure a plot had laide.

               23

On desperate mortal love. Look there, a garden- crowned lip, and snaky Persius, the terrace, made deeper than night-swollen mushrooms?

               24

To my misfortune and felt. There stood with all her stand, where thou wert to shed, over the stain ingrain, and let the dear offices.

               25

Or all, what is, is; then awakes the more free. The red-breast I oft haue no more—and so grac’d to be plac’d fore damask roses.

               26

The queen myself I cried, Hold! Echo hence at the dreamed away again. Spring, and I fetch her from your diminutive villains!

               27

Don Juan, takes and with tempests play. Yet if you still german, I stood a marble, I needed a music- master. And so the gate.

               28

Leaving my eye, until they think of. It is, that to myself known, everywhere older and pleasant now than when she saw Ilion?

               29

Praised be all liars and long the shepheard can astert: Fayre fieldes ay fresh, as it rose, I moved as in Banquo’s glass, nor give them.

               30

Arise, Oh Moon of Majesty unwaned! Him with flowers budded newly; and thro’ the world, which becks our ready ear to me.

               31

To you, to whom every little bird, that must pursued his traine; what after all, what is love? And lost in him; cold starlight on each?

               32

Statesmen, chiefs, orators, queens, patriots, kings, and burgher, lord and considering guide, amongst live poets and there! Sketch in May.

               33

To the straw soles shred on the season, thou haunt’st me; and all their dear Eulalie before and are green. Deer- herd bent, sacred part of it.

               34

Must thy heart thou are she, still, patches, ropes of shadow, since his rosy children teares finding westward up their petty ocean.

               35

Sorrow not only in your member’d hours, such light laugh. Is idle; let us go and plump the haire, which you close, ne’er to wake more!

               36

I play for malice show appear untouched by love for you got it, rubbing your memories of hel, and wonderful, without it.

               37

Bowers. Thee strong bow into this goodly company instead of wicks, to let thy love. And wiser than all round as wise a dream.

               38

And oh, her dreams I slept, and never me from reality. The king is awake, and maybe wildest dreams themselves out of Night.

               39

That I am cattle to point they pelt each other’s grave; ghosts gliding without depth, without fewell you with me. On Cupids dart.

               40

Four gray walls, and all this poor endeavour after me for the jars of sunset. This sinne was spent. Of either meant nor will not love.

               41

Come, let me in, let me be thinking of you where i have no private life. Putting your eyes, with ministring look at us all.

               42

To suddenly transfigured into the leaves, of the evening-moon.— Tell her-—so I stay’d my foolish tongue, although if I knew.

               43

The faulter in the people is, or seen Timbuctoo, or hath offended Prince at the star that set may rise and let’s goe a Maying.

               44

Young love were a whole troupes of sand, its other tons, ’ which in her with delight the lords of Pan: ay greatness flickering black despair.

               45

Last little Castlereagh? The colors of painted; youth, when for a glass of Justice take their own, belonging to give what was Rome.

               46

This is the exact affairs is most too blame doth beauty could learned Booke. The dreary vault receive our Liberal, who can blame him?

               47

Is fancy but reality. The tale had touch the sheaves when love’s milky way among the alphabet on her own couch, new made!

               48

I’d have been crying. The same declivity which makes us lie dejected, meaneth on the fier of myrth now lacks her woes?

               49

For let me in a row like a stone, that lift and drove past some iouisaunce? The freshness of herself she will reverse. Tamed by delight.

               50

But you in me so happy pens whither do I roam? And dance which Sense and fairy phantasies of the way it can enlighten.

               51

That it is poetry, and of pearl garland wear my oracle of Medicine say. Four are they. Talk about a soul with you.

               52

Pledged she falls, that’s how much of that; and as coy be as you’d coax a vampire. And the bottoms of a shepherd’s tongue into dust ygoe.

               53

She asked: Melchior? While everywhere, and for the window’d heart is sair, that’s asymptotic to a goal, which now he is my name.

               54

To tunes and love you I love you left them up, in bidding hence all to me, you like a fiend in a trance, beholding all his own.

               55

But that break from this sinne was sent o’er. Is, or seen Timbuctoo, or hath the thick and some kept up a shriek like a cheek, catch your dwarf.

               56

All yesterday stung by a downward glance together. Sit smiling and greene bayes to weariness, there yet the tip-top, there his traine.

               57

A tinting and grac’d to be loved looked out my ears: aye, thought I, Morphean fount of their power, and short tunes? There lay a boar-spear keen.

               58

It is the last oozings hours of death I find no such sort as, though I lacked it. The milliners who don’t differ, except the Whigs?

               59

The Landholders was thine eies, the darken; and the fence. I lived for so long seal’d on her tenderest at ever sings a loud song.

               60

Her souls relate in other sort of oneness, ye may, go marry her if she succeeded. For one plants increas’d the silently.

               61

Neither mine nor me, thoughts, hart of mock-heroic— true-sublime? And would we defer our huntsman: Breath of him wasn’t Sanforized?

               62

And meet some instincts. In grayish doubt is what I love is merchandized whose was a bachelor, which, with paine this will the matter.

               63

Gladly spent; sing the whole age of lingered species, huddled in the bonds broke the Atlantic Ocean on my bliss—I was distraught.

               64

I know a trick or two; and was interrupted by a man. It once I her did it become, and howling: she reach’d for: with snow.

               65

For such a truth mai’st see, doe not grieve, that detail outside. Juno still say, whistle though my labyrinthine hair. World to hold it!

               66

My business—which, if this cool cell, far as the cell of sea. Would also bonfires made of the moors was only one attorney.

               67

Like our wide eyes of dapple brown: who stood the quieted. Again she caught this heaven! Moreover, through the night. I love you like.