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Yunho x Chubby!Reader Headcanons <3
[☻] I’ve been thinking about Yuyu a lot 💔 so here we are! Made this in 30 minutes so please excuse any mistakes!
[nsfw content after the ‘keep reading’ header] mdni!!
☆ Yunho’s the type to always need some sort of physical touch when it comes to you. Like he’s mindlessly touching you (both sexual and non) whether that be by holding your hand or simply caressing your shoulder. Your physical presence just soothes him you know?
☆ Is not quiet about you at all, as he should. Right after your first date he almost changed his relationship status to ‘taken’ on all of his social media accounts. And now as a happy couple, he makes sure to let everyone know who his gf is and just how much he loves you! He even has a ‘I love my gf’ shirt with one of the very first selfies you sent him.
☆ Laying his head on your thighs is his favorite thing in the world. As soon as your fingers make their way to his scalp he’s gone. He just loves how warm and plush you are.
☆ Loves, absolutely loves, how soft and plump your skin is! Even if you get self-conscious about your stretch marks or cellulite, he will always make sure to show you how much he adores your body.
☆ Loves eating with you. Restaurants, takeout, or homemade… it doesn’t matter. There’s just something about seeing you eat happily that brings him so much joy.
☆ Okay, let’s face it… since Yunho is on the thinner side, he just can’t help but always gravitate towards you. Especially when it’s cold out, you bet he’s soaking up all of your warmth! You’re his personal heater and he will not be letting you go.
☆ Would absolutely not change a single thing about you whatsoever. Which he makes sure to remind you on those days where you feel a bit insecure about yourself. He thinks and knows that you are perfect just the way you are.
☆ Omg and the sex? Absolutely nasty.
☆ Almost loses all self control when he sees your body in its full glory. Absolutely touching everything and anything as soon as he is within arms reach.
☆ Body worship is through the roof.
☆ Yunho is a simple guy, he just can’t help himself when he sees your boobs and ass.
☆ Loves being rough because then that means he gets to see your body jiggling from how hard he’s fucking you. Also loves marking you up, seeing his hand imprinted on your ass just spurs him on even more.
☆ Is down to do any position with you so as long as he can still see your beautiful body.
☆ Surprisingly enough, he can pick you up and manhandle you like it’s nothing. (You were definitely shocked the first time he lifted you off the ground)
☆ Would be honored to die in-between your thighs. There’s no better way to go out than by eating out the love of his life. If he could, he would just stay in-between your thighs for the rest of his life (it doesn’t even have to be sexual!).
☆ Also loves when you ride his face. Despite your apprehension, he will almost always need to make you cum this way first before actually getting down and dirty.
☆ He cannot honestly get enough of how much there is to grab when it comes to you. There’s been a few times where he just wants to stay still and become one with you.
☆ Absolutely spoils you with lingerie! Even know he prefers you naked most of the time, lingerie on your body just does something to him. There’s nothing better than coming home after a long day to seeing you waiting for him in lingerie, it’s like a reward honestly.
☆ Yunho just loves you so much, he doesn’t know what he would do without you being in his life.
☆ Which is why he plans on proposing to you soon. He’s still trying to get the date down but the ring is already hidden away in his drawer. He hopes that you know how serious he is about you when you see the ring, it’s a Darry ring of course.
#luv!writes#ateez imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez#ateez fic#ateez fanfiction#ateez smut#atz x reader#atz smut#ateez yunho#yunho scenarios#yunho imagines#yunho x reader#jeong yunho#yunho fluff#yunho smut#ateez x reader#ateez scenarios#imagines#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop bg
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There's a kind of defensive attitude towards criticism re:Lucanis' romance in many corners of the fandom that I partially understand because Veilguard gets a lot of shit thrown at it, and if you enjoy something you naturally want to defend it. But this type of attitude also rubs me the wrong way when people who loved the way his romance played out say that anyone criticizing it must just not understand slow burns/not like slow burn as a genre/not understand Lucanis' character and his trauma properly/must have been expecting explicit sex scenes and a Zevran 2.0.
Maybe some people criticizing his romance don't like slow burns, or were wrongly expecting him to be a sex god, or ignore his trauma. I've seen a few. But that's not all the criticism there is.
Personally, I love slow burns, it's my favorite genre both to read and write (I'm the type of fic writer to think up 200k words enemies to lovers longfics where they've barely kissed after 100k words). I'm also the type of ace person who's not into extremely explicit sex scenes or super kinky romances (especially with male dom stuff, which I personally dislike). And lastly, I'm the type who picks the angstiest possible romance choice.
All this to say that Lucanis and his romance were theoretically made in a lab for me. Slow burn because the character doesn't trust easily and is traumatized by his past experiences and has many things he must resolve, excruciatingly slow to open up? Unexpectedly very sweet, wet, sad man with puppy eyes? Romance scenes that are caring and romantic instead of outright steamy? Perfect, right up my alley! I keep romancing Fenris in DA2 exactly for that reason because I love him dearly, and he breaks up with Hawke for 3 whole years! Still my favorite!
But the whole point of a slow burn are the steps. It's a slow burn, which means little step by little step, the relationship slowly builds to a conclusion, from tentative acquaintances who don't trust each other, to slooowly evolve into something more, and it's precisely these crumbs that make the trope enjoyable.
To me, Lucanis' romance doesn't feel like it does little steps, it feels like it skips steps. I can see the main story beats of a good slow burn, but not the crumbs that make a slow burn. I don't want him and Rook to jump each other after 2 scenes, I want to see more of the fumbling, the hesitation, the dancing around each other. No, dragon age isn't a romance game, I'm aware, but if romance is an option, and it is written to fit a specific trope, I would like it done properly. They've done slowburns and angsty before, and they were good (even Solas', and his romance is super short). I want the evolution of the relationship shown to me, not told in broad strokes and big steps, and I don't want to have to write half the romance in my head or rely on ao3.
We get nothing between the coffee date and the almost kiss, absolutely no reaction of any kind to the flirting, not even a blink. If Lucanis and Rook were capable of having an entire conversation about coffee and kisses metaphors when they barely knew each other, then I think they can flirt a bit more in the following conversations when you pick the romantic option, dance around each other, have Lucanis fumble a little more like he does with Neve when he actually registers Rook is sincerely into him. Even just a sign that he heard Rook when they pick the romantic option in the following conversations, because as it is he immediately resumes whatever he was saying. And if his lack of reaction is because he's suddenly afraid and thinks it's a bad idea, I would like it shown on his face, or as an actual noticeable pause/hesitation. It didn't look like he thought it was a bad idea at Café Pietra, unless he just thought Rook was flirting just to flirt and wasn't serious, but again, none of that is hinted at in any way.
Then there's the almost kiss that follows and is the first actually romantic moment we get after the coffee date, and suddenly Lucanis is all smooth and confident about flirting again. With nothing in between ever since *Illario voice* he got all romantic about roasts. Was he reluctant before and that's why he didn't react to Rook's flirting/caring concern? We have no idea, because while he warns Rook it's a bad idea to be attracted to him, he doesn't seem scared, more amused at their daredevil tendencies. The first time in his entire romance we get a clear indication he's afraid and won't open up for a long time is at the end of this specific scene, when he pulls away, and the way it happens is like Lucanis himself wasn't expecting his fear to overcome him. He wants, he lets himself be pulled forward, and then he suddenly gets drowned by overwhelming terror, and he pulls away.
The beginning of the romance (the date + almost kiss) reads to me as if Lucanis was trying to forget the Ossuary, letting himself flirt and feel attraction and just simply live again as if nothing happened, believing if he didn't think about his trauma and forcefully moved forward then it would stay buried, and then the Ossuary unexpectedly caught up to him, because you don't just bury things like that, it always comes back up at some point if you make no effort to actually process what happened.
And then there's nothing again for a long while. I can imagine Rook leaving space for Lucanis because they're considerate of his feelings and they can see something is deeply wrong, but still, something big and awkward happened between them! Not even one conversation where they try to gently broach the subject and Lucanis immediately clams up? What about some mentions of how awkward things suddenly are between the two? Even through party banter? We got plenty about Hawke and Fenris' situationship in DA2 after Fenris pulls away. The other companions comment on their breakup and how it's painfully obvious they're in love still, no matter what happened, and there are a few banters between Hawke and Fenris themselves. Surely things are a little tense and awkward between Rook and Lucanis as well at that point, and their friends would notice? They don't spend as much time together as they used to, Lucanis doesn't talk directly to Rook much anymore unless he has to, can't quite look them in the eye, doesn't want to stay alone in a room with them. He is still protective of them because he obviously cares very much, but can't bring himself to have an honest talk about his feelings and fears because he's still completely locked in his mind prison and would rather deal with his problems by stabbing his enemies.
Rook being lost because they haven't been inside his head yet and they're not sure if it's because of what Lucanis has been through, or if they did something wrong to get them rejected, and they're stuck because Lucanis completely refuses to open up. There are so many little things that could have been implemented to actually serve as the little steps for the slow burn. You're telling me even Emmrich or Neve, perceptive as they are, wouldn't have noticed their two friends suddenly being awkward and sad and not try to talk to Rook about it at the very least?
And then there's the mind prison where Rook gets all Lucanis' fears and insecurities explicitly told to them. Immediately followed by the scene where you lock in the relationship as he makes them dessert.
Were they in a relationship?? When did they get together? Do they get together right there in the kitchen by the sheer power of cake (ok, relatable)? You don't know! They almost kiss, things are theoretically painfully awkward between them for a while, Rook discovers the substance of his trauma, and poof. They're a couple. Yes, I know that Lucanis' love language is acts of service, but did they communicate at all at any point about what's going on between them? Surely even if Rook helping him out of his head puts him on the road to eventual recovery, it didn't suddenly erase all of Lucanis' trauma and fears and doubts.
I liked Rook calling out the subtext of what Lucanis says in that scene (“it's nothing, or not enough”/”it is, and you are”), I did think it was sweet and perceptive of them. But still, we go from attraction to pulling away to suddenly committing to a relationship with never actually discussing exactly what goes on between them. Never outright deciding they want to try something serious. There wouldn't have been much actual flirting or sincere conversations between them after the almost-kiss, for obvious reasons, so how does Lucanis know Rook hasn't moved on/isn't angry at him after all this time, considering how they didn't communicate at all afterwards and he's not exactly the best at feelings and self-confidence? He just talks as if it's a given they're attracted to him still, and only worries about not being good enough for them. I wanted crumbs of reassurance from Rook, more than what we got, because Lucanis' probable guilt is never actually tackled in any way – he had perfectly valid reasons to pull away, of course, but considering how much he blames himself for anything and everything, I'm pretty sure he would also blame himself for hurting Rook's feelings, even if they're understanding and not actually angry with him at all.
Idk. I have a lot of thoughts, especially about the middle of his romance. The last big scene we get is one of my favorites through all dragon age games, it was so sweet, but I still felt like the entire middle part of the romance lacked a lot of slow burn crumbs, and I was still hungry when I got to the end.
#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#rookanis#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical
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hi jade!! could we get some kbd!steve where r has had a long week at work or something like that and steve makes her favorite for dinner and she just gets all clingy and a little teary and all that mushy ushy stuff
KBD —mom!reader, 2k
The drive home feels longer, roads you’ve taken each week day for years metamorphosed into winding lanes and long stretches of tarmac. You stop at the small store just outside of your neighbourhood and attempt to pick out a treat for each girl and your sweet husband.
It costs more than the tags say it will. Your bag breaks on the way to the car. You have to go back into the store to buy Steve another glass coke, but he deserves it. If you think about crying on the street that leads into yours, it’s your secret.
The door opens before you’ve parked the car. Avery waits on the stoop, shifting from foot to foot in excitement. The second the car is off, she’s barrelling down the step of the house without shoes.
“Ave! Babe!” you say, laughing as she pins you in place. “No, go back inside! It’s so cold out here!”
“I couldn’t wait to see you!” she whines.
Steve is there and down the steps immediately. He grabs her up and tosses her over his shoulder, laughing but clearly disapproving, “I didn’t even hear the door, just you yelling,” he says. “Shit, come on, come inside, it’s freezing!”
“Steve, you’re not wearing socks either.”
“I had to save my girl. Where’d she go, did you see?”
Avery giggles roaringly against his back. “Dad, put me down!”
Steve gets Avery unharmed back inside of the house. He lets you pass and locks the front door, it’s creaking, stuck handle slammed up and key turned. He puts the chain on, like you’re being followed, checking the peephole before turning to you with this look, arms out and hands up, a sign of relief coursing through him. “My girl,” he says, cupping your face in both hands.
You give a surprised smile.
“I thought I was your girl!” Avery says.
“You are my girl,” Steve says, tipping your head to one side. He’s smiling like it’s his birthday, or like you just told him you found a hundred dollars in one of your pockets. “But mom’s my girl, I have a couple, you know?” He talks to Avery, stares at you. “I’m glad you’re home. I have a surprise for you and I hate waiting.”
“You do?”
He squeezes your cheek and parts from you. “Ave, go get some socks. I’m gonna turn the heating up. Wait, let me feel those feet before you go.”
“You are not touching my feet, you tickle.”
“Then go get some socks on them! Gosh, you’d think I just left the front door unlocked or something, the way she ran out.”
He shares a big smile.
In the kitchen, the shutters are open. The lingering piles of yet to melt snow in the back yard make the whole room white, illuminating the family table, the fridge covered in magnet-pinned drawings and appointment cards, the sink and all the drying dishes. Poor Steve, he must do the dishes three times a day before you get home.
There are things covered on the stove waiting to be reheated, and in the oven, you can see a large ceramic baking tray.
“What are you making?” you ask.
“That’s your surprise, honey. That and one more thing.”
You shake your head, nonplussed. “What?”
Steve opens the cabinet under the sink to unveil a bouquet of flowers. Which means he must’ve gotten four girls dressed to take to the store on a day where he hadn’t needed to. He must love you a whole lot to bother.
“What’s in the oven?” you ask.
Steve puts the bouquet in its vase on the table for you to inspect. “Your favourite, duh. All the trimmings. Enough for you to have three helpings, if you want.”
“What’s the occasion?”
“Since when do we need an occasion?” he asks, taking your wrist across the table.
You give the flowers a good long analysis. Your favourite flowers too, with baby’s breath, carnations and peonies to bulk it out, all light pinks or whites, the odd light blue one tucked throughout.
“I think I was having a bad day,” you say.
“What?” he asks worriedly. “What’s wrong?”
He should know not to ask you like that when you’re upset to begin with. He’s lucky you don’t burst into breathless sobs there and then, but your eyes go hot, your waterline fills, and he’s all to easy to collapse against for a hug. The bag at your elbow clinks against him.
“Thank you,” you say.
“Sure, honey, but what happened?”
You sound squeezes as an orange for juice as you explain it, wobbly in his arms, “It’s just been such a long week, m’sorry, and I had a bad day, and I got you a glass coke from Ernie’s but the bag broke, so I had to go back in and tell them I smashed glass out there–”
“Maybe Ernie should get better bags,” he says.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t cry over coke.”
“No, you should never cry.” He encourages you back to kiss your nose, still smiling as he says, “Ever. They should make crying illegal, I don’t wanna see you doing it ever.” He taps you under the chin. “You’re home, cool? Nobody can bother you for the next two days, it’s just me, and your daughter, and your other daughter, and your other,” —he starts laughing as you do, infected— “daughter, and that baby. Also a daughter.”
“Oh, yes. Who can forget my troop of girls,” you say, sniffling as he swipes under your eye with his thumb.
“Okay?” he asks.
You could tell him everything now, or you can save it up for tonight, tell his shoulder after dinner and a shower and a few hours of TV and chips. It’ll all feel less shitty then. And he’s drawn your attention where it should’ve been —where are your girls?
“I’m okay. Thank you, handsome.”
“Handsome.” He feels down your arm, pretty and warm among a cool-white kitchen. “Flirt. How about you go give your kisses and I’ll set the table?”
“You sure?”
He’s all smiles, it’s crazy. “The quicker I feed you the better, I’d wager. Kiss for luck?”
What luck? you think, but pout softly for a kiss that rocks your world regardless
I’m a princess, you think, pushing the door that leads to the living room. Inside, Beth, the second eldest, is sitting with Wren, the baby. Wren is sitting on a playmat in a duckie covered onesie, smiling and giggling as Beth puts on a show. Beth’s holding an octopus toy and a Barbie, making them talk to one another in different voices.
You don’t want to interrupt them, but Wren sees you over Beth’s head and starts doing the wiggly, nearly frantic things babies do when they’ve missed you. If you don’t grab her quickly she’ll burst into tears.
“Beth!” you say, kneeling down beside her as you grab her sister. “Hi, bubby. What are you playing?”
Beth reminds you that you’re beautiful, your smile on her lips as she says, “Mom! When did you come home?”
“Just a few seconds ago.” You situate Wren on your chest for kissing, popping a few spares on Beth’s temple. “Okay? Good day?”
“Great day!”
“Good, I’m so glad.”
Beth crawls to you to give you a hug from the side. Somewhere in the background, Avery calls, “Daddy! Dove is making a mess in my room AGAIN!” and Steve’s calling back, “Okay! I’ll be right there, Avery! Just gimme a minute!”
“DAD!”
Wren gurgles at you. “Da?” she says.
“Heard that, did you?” you ask her.
Steve takes the long way, pushing into the living room and throwing a grin at the three of you on the floor. “Honey, I’ll be right back. The table’s set, okay? You can go sit down and I’ll start plating up.” He doubles back before he can leave, again staring at you with a smile. “Jesus, you’re perfect. I could just look at you forever.”
“Isn’t he charming?” you ask Beth.
She gives an agreeable nod.
The moment he’s gone you realise you actually don’t want him far away from you. It’s a strong feeling to understand it while bathed in love from two beautiful kids who missed you. Wren tries to kiss you, surely wanting one of her own, while Beth gets up and tries to persuade you too.
“Come on, mommy. We can sit at the table.”
So you go, mostly because she sounds adorable. You carry Wren to the table and find Steve’s already made her her soft food. You try to make baby food a few days worth at a time, but it’s nice to let her have little tastes of the same meal as everyone else. He’s blended some of the veggies into a bowl, sat cooled and waiting for her with a bib on the high chair.
“Your daddy’s in great form today,” you mumble into her hair, sitting her down, and attempting to get the bib on her before she can grab her spoon. She’s enthusiastic, but not actually coordinated enough to use one yet. You sit down by the high chair to feed her.
“Is it okay if I sit here?” Beth asks, taking your usual seat.
“Yeah, of course. Want me to serve you now, or could you wait, bubby? Just until dad comes down.”
Beth shakes her head. You forget sometimes that she’s not a baby, not a toddler, but a child big enough to grab her own knife and fork. “I’ll wait, just have some bread.”
“Okay, bubby. Thank you. You gonna butter it yourself?”
“Yeess,” she drags out.
Steve brings Avery back, along with your last, grumpiest daughter, Dove. She isn’t necessarily miserable, just contrary. When she was Wren’s age she’d already mastered the word no, when she sees you, she glares at you, crying out in disbelief, “You’re in my seat!”
“Come and sit on my lap, big girl, I gotta feed your sister.”
“I don’t want to sit on your lap.”
“That’s hurtful.” You pout at her with loving eyes. “Dove, didn’t you miss mommy? I missed you soooooo much.”
Success. She climbs into your lap and lets you rub her arm while you can. Steve takes the seat on Beth’s other side, further away then you would’ve liked. He serves everybody their dinner, does it all beaming and fawning over his dinner guests.
Your bad week fades away. By the time Steve’s stolen Wren-duty and you’ve finished your dinner, you’re feeling delightfully full and doubly loved. Like they know you need it, each of your daughters capable of doing so gives you a hug (or in Dove’s case, a kiss on the arm).
Leaving you, and Steve, and baby Wren.
“What do you think, milk?” he asks her.
She seems to think it over. “Ba?” she asks.
“Buppy? You want your buppy?”
He pulls her out of her high chair, makes her a bottle of milk with her held to his chest, and then sits down in the chair next to you to cradle her and feed her a few ounces.
“So,” he says, as though he isn’t exhibiting frankly audacious levels of dad-stamina and esteem, “about that long week, are you feeling okay?”
You hold his wrist where he holds the baby. Wren’s getting so big, she takes up the length of his arm, a healthy chub around her neck and on her tummy.
“Y/N?”
“I’m okay, yeah.”
“Just got on top of you?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Shit, I didn’t get you your coke or anything for dinner. I got the girls chips.”
“It’s okay, we have time to spoil them. They ate tons.”
“What was breakfast like after I left?”
“Avery was so happy she didn’t have school I don’t think she noticed there were no fruit slices.”
You fall into conversation. He leans against your shoulder as you rub the length of his arm, encouraging your clinging to the fullest extent.
#kisses before dinner universe#stranger things x reader#stranger things fic#stranger things#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x fem!reader#dad!steve harrington#dad!steve harrington x reader#dad!steve harrington x mom!reader#steve harrington x afab!reader#afab!reader#mom!reader#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fandom#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#steve harrington fluff
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So fucking true. My intrusive thoughts made me terrified to see a therapist at first. Because they were going to look at me and immediately know I was a danger to society or something. Then the therapist printed out this thing on Pure O OCD and I was just like “Oh, thank fuck.”
Still took me forever to realize I actually HAD OCD and that it wasn’t just ~spicy anxiety~…
Though now that I’ve gotten better at recognizing and defusing the “big, bad” ones, my intrusive thoughts have become a lot “smaller” and more subtle, which I found out in therapy yesterday.
The “big, bad” ones? Stuff like “what if I grab that knife and stab someone” might as well come with a flashing neon “OCD!” sign. Cognitive defusion, BAM!
Subtle, only personally distressing ones? Oh, that’s just a “normal” thought. Cue rumination and reassurance seeking, my ~favorite~ compulsions! Except I don’t realize that’s what I’m doing. Because I don’t realize it’s my OCD/an intrusive thought.
Like “what if I don’t want to learn piano anymore”? Now that is a sneaky intrusive thought. Because then I start spiraling about how I’ve wasted time and money on learning, how I’ve let myself and my teacher down, how I don’t practice enough (what even is enough?), how I’m not making progress like I should be (by whose standards?), how I don’t even know whether or not I even want to quit (because how does someone actually know that kind of thing?)… And I become increasingly more distressed about it all and am sitting there hardcore soul searching, making pros and cons lists, and the guilt is eating me a-fucking-live.
Aaaand. Surprise! Turns out that was my OCD in a trench coat! Because why would that be OCD? That’s just a normal thought, isn’t it? Plenty of people wonder if they enjoy something and if they should continue it, don’t they?
Absolutely! Just not like that!
This rambling reblog brought to you by my therapist starting a question to me yesterday with, “When you have intrusive thoughts like that…” and my mental response being:
Just wanted to share because I had no fucking clue and wish I’d realized those were intrusive thoughts sooner so I could’ve been treating them as such instead of unintentionally compulsing/lapsing.
I mean OCD is definitely very personal and obsessions and all vary widely from person to person, which can make it hard to pinpoint stuff like that sometimes. One person’s intrusive thought very easily can just be another’s regular thought. It’s hard to tell sometimes when they aren’t like the more examples you usually hear about, i.e. things that would be distressing to most people, which is why they’re used as examples.
For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
#just got casually murdered in therapy yesterday#at least now i know#and knowing is half the battle…#intrusive thoughts#actually ocd#ocd
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if cigarettes after sex had existed in the 90s, mattheo riddle would have listened to them 24/7
you cannot tell me that this isn’t his vibe.
his favorite songs would be:
pistol — it’s his favorite song by them in general, but it’s also his go-to breakup song. sure, he's had lots of flings, but after his first real love, this song is on repeat 24/7. "i’ll waste my time / 'til you lift me off the floor and love me again." mattheo riddle clings. he doesn't know how to move on. this song perfectly captures his desperate need for validation and affection, even though he pretends he doesn’t care.
each time you fall in love — one thing that mattheo is good at, is shutting people out. this song speaks to disillusionment in love, something mattheo would struggle with as someone who yearns for connection yet fears abandonment. the lines “each time you fall in love / it's clearly not enough” and "all I wanna know is if you love her / how come you never give in?" feels like his inner monologue whenever he pushes someone away or spirals into self-doubt.
nothing’s gonna hurt you baby — 100% resonates with mattheo because, deep down, he's desperate to find someone who truly sees him—beyond his father’s shadow, beyond his walls. "nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, as long as you're with me" —the kind of promise he wishes someone had made to him during his lonely childhood, and one he secretly wishes he could make to someone he loves.
apocalypse — i don't know about you guys, but in my head at least, mattheo is a hopeless romantic at heart. he may act like he doesn't need anyone but, this song? it makes him feel like he's dancing with his lover in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, unafraid of death as long as he's wrapped in their arms. buuut that sounds cheesy which is why he'd never tell anyone. “when you're all alone / i'll reach for you / when you're feelin' low / i'll be there too.” oh, how he wishes someone would say those words to him
sweet — "it's so sweet, knowing that you love me / though we don't need to say it to each other" — yeah, lets be real. words of affirmation is not mattheo's love language, at least not at first. the words, "i love you," scare him. he's got a hesitancy to vocalize things, relying on gestures, touches, and moments rather than words. this song makes him feel like he doesn't need to be ashamed of that.
navigation mattheo riddle masterlist
#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle moodboard#slytherin boys#harry potter#slytherin#moodboard#benjamin wadsworth#cigarettes after sex
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LET ME IN YOUR OCEAN – YU JIMIN
now playing : chase atlantic - swim
SYNOPSIS : your mafia girl loves it too much when you bring her lunch to work (in fact, she doesn’t mind fucking you on her desk either.)
warnings : mafia!jimin, lesbian sex, service top!jimin, praise kink, hickeys, fingering sex in public places, pet names (princess, good girl, kitty).
pairing : yu jimin x fem!reader
you? oh, her favourite baby-girl, damn, jimin loves her girl too much, she loves to pamper you incredibly, because if this comes up in conversation, then yu does not hesitate to spend several million a day on her princess. expensive prada dresses, diamond necklaces and rings are what you literally swim in, bouquets of flowers, romantic dinners and then night walks in a black porsche with jimin - your daily routine, her hand on your thigh as you both silently drive through Seoul at night listening to your favorite playlist, during such moments it always seemed to you that there were only you two left in the world, and no one else
and if her girl wants it, jimin will buy the whole world for her, as long as it’s really just the two of you.
when you first saw her in the casino, you would never have thought that a cold-blooded member of the mafia could be such a gentle romantic, whose words always made your knees weak. one of the nicest things was that she was so close to you, she didn’t allow anyone to see her as tender except her princess, because you were the only one who truly deserved it. and the only downside of all this was the fact that she was often busy, although in a very interesting way she always made up for her guilt to you. a romantic dinner, another necklace and wonderful sex right against the wall in the hallway of your mansion is probably the best way for her to made it up.
waking up after another such evening, you realized that jimin was not next to him in bed, which made you slightly upset, after all, your desire to wake up in her arms, spending the whole morning sleepily hugging, alas, was cut short. you stretched, rubbing your eyes sleepily, reaching over to the bedside table and taking your phone off the charger, having unblocked it, the first thing you did was go into chat with yu, realizing that she didn’t even write about where and why it would be so early in the morning.
you : jiminnie? no good mornings? :(
you : i hope that you really have something important, because depriving me of morning hugs and breakfast in bed is a crime
just as you were about to get out of bed, several notifications came to your phone, and seeing the messages from yu, your face broke into a sleepy smile.
jim💘 : so sorry, princess, had to leave early, important meeting.
jim💘 : you know that i love you, princess?
jim💘 : i would never leave my precious girl without cuddles and kisses without reason.
jim💘 : i’ll be home in the evening, afterwards, expensive champagne and a delicious dinner, perhaps even a continuation in the bedroom, or in the kitchen, if I can’t restrain myself. i love u.
after reading the messages, you were mentally preparing for the upcoming evening, fuck, she knew exactly all your weak points, and knew where to hit so that you wouldn’t get angry. getting out of bed, you stretched again along the way, going into the kitchen, wanting to drink a glass of water, you noticed that you forgot to take lunch with you, which you carefully make every evening. a small pink lunchbox with hello kitty and a small love note is what jimin put in her black leather bag, and it made her heart beat faster every time.
you were a little upset, but you could put up with it, considering how flighty jimin can be sometimes, so you once again got excited about the idea of going to her office to give lunch for her forgetful girlfriend. quickly getting dressed, you called the personal driver whom yu hired with the words 'my princess will not walk several kilometers on the asphalt every time with her beautiful legs so give me the most skilled driver'. the road was quite fast, and upon entering the large building, one of the bodyguards let you inside with a warm smile, personally escorting you to jimin's office.
knocking on the door several times, you opened it, seeing how she carefully rummages through documents in her damn sexy glasses, the way she looked made you turn into a waterfall every time you saw her. finally looking up from the papers, she smiled brightly, seeing her beloved girl.
"princess," getting up from the table, she took off her glasses and put them aside, she came closer to you, seeing a pink lunch box in your hands, "damn, I'm too forgetful and forgot my girl's lunch..." she awkwardly scratched the back of her head, taking it from your hands, placing it on the table, returning her gaze to you as her hands found their way to your hips, "you didn't have to drive halfway across town to see me, sweetheart, but I really fucking appreciate it, kitty..."
her lips carefully approached hers as your noses touched each other, finally pulling you into a slow and loving kiss, deepening the kiss, yu buried her head in the hair at the back of her head with one hand, and touched tour waist with the other hand. you hummed right into the kiss as she picked you up, moving her hands to her hips, and sat her on the table, settling between your legs. having stopped tormenting your lips, she lowered herself to your neck, while her free hand lifted your skirt, getting under your underwear, jimin began to slowly stimulate your clit, making circular movements, carefully watching your expression, searching for any hint of discomfort, “good girl... already so wet for me?"
your body kept shaking, and the thighs tried to close, but yu was standing between them, and did not allow this to happen. your hands fell on her shoulders, you pulled her closer, so close that ypu pressed herself against her, resting your head on her shoulder, her free hand nuzzled your thigh until her fingers finally slid inside you, causing you to let out a loud whine that was like honey to her ears, "just like that, you're doing so well, kitty, it feels like you were created for me to be inside you..."
yu's lips kissed your skin from your neck down, reaching the collarbones and leaving several purple marks there, again fell to her beloved neck, without ceasing to work with her fingers and feeling how your body began to tremble.
she felt with her fingers how the walls tightened around her fingers, enveloping and sucking, and in the next second a languid cry flew from your lips, which made her instinctively squeeze your waist tighter, not allowing you to fall off the table, on the contrary, helping you sit more comfortably, kissing your neck soothingly, enjoying the sight of the purple marks on your milky skin, "everything is fine, princess, my good girl..."
finally moving away from your neck, her hand combed the fallen strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling, she liked seeing you like this too much, all excited, trembling from orgasm, while your hair stuck to your forehead and barely visible drops of sweat flowed from your temple.
"you know, after such a “lunch”, I’m no longer as hungry as before your arrival, you can come to me more often, I’ll be all for it."
#yu jimin x fem reader#yu jimin x reader#karina x reader#girl group x reader#gg x reader#sapphic#wlw#aespa x reader#aespa x fem reader#karina x fem reader#girl group#aespa#Spotify
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loved | percy jackson
ღ percy jackson x daughter of ares! reader ღ warnings: hurt/comfort! (for the ones that are so so angry) ღ wc: 720 this is clearly about me guys
“Percy, you don’t understand!”
Her shouts shattered the silence of the forest; the birds seemed to have fled the moment they arrived, and the forest nymphs hid within their trees, unwilling to get involved.
“You’re right!” His voice was edged with frustration and anger as he followed her, but instead of looking threatening, he looked almost pitiable. "I don’t!"
There was a raw, painful gleam in his eyes, one she chose to ignore -although it proved her point.
“Why can’t you talk to me? Tell me what is wrong, please.” He begged. “I love you.”
No.
Not those words.
They were precisely the ones she didn’t want to hear.
The weight they pressed onto her chest was overwhelming, and she didn’t think she could bear it any longer.
He was the sweetest and kindest boy in camp, effortlessly funny and charming with everyone –how could someone like him love someone like her?
“That’s the thing.” Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, crescent-shaped marks forming in her palms. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she stopped to turn toward him. “You can’t love me!”
And he flinched. He fucking flinched at her.
But she didn’t care.
“I’m mean! I’m mean, and violent, and aggressive. I’m insecure, quiet, narcissistic. I have anger issues, stupids outbursts, I curse all the fucking the time! I’m not-” She took a deep breath, trying to quell the anger boiling inside her.
She was unlovable.
“Percy, I can’t make you happy. I don’t know how you expect this-” She gestured toward the space between them, which seemed to close with each tentative step he took. “-to work, I am not good for y-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
Now it was her turn to flinch as he stepped closer, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly.
He was staring into her eyes as if he could see right through her, peeling back her defenses to uncover the truth she kept hidden –something she sensed he had been doing for far too long.
“Don’t tell me what’s good for me or not.”
She could only stay silent.
What else could she do with that sight in front of her? A sight that wasn’t made for her, that felt so foreign for her.
Those green eyes looked at her with a love she was sure she didn’t deserve, and those hands brushed against her skin as if they could see something good within her that she had buried.
“I know you, and I know how you feel. Like you don’t deserve the good things that happen to you, like you’re not good enough, like you’re a burden in everyone else’s life." One of his hands moved to cup her cheek. "Like you are a bad person.”
She almost laughed; well, he was really laying bare her entire life with his words.
“I don’t know who made you think all of that, but please, I’m begging you, don’t believe them.”
“That's the thing,” Percy leaned closer to her to show he was paying attention, but it was almost impossible to get any closer. “No one said anything; I just know it.”
As she closed her eyes, he observed her. Before him stood his favorite person in the world, unraveling before his eyes.
And he couldn’t stand to see it happen.
“You are the purest person in the whole world. From the first moment I saw you, I was wrapped around your finger. My mother is tired of hearing your name, my room is fed up with me sprawled out, holding your photo, and my mind is consumed by thoughts of you –there is no space for anything else. ”
The words flowed from his lips as if they were the most natural thing in the world, and the effect they had on her was overwhelming.
She felt the boy’s hands on her face, gently wiping away the tears she didn't know were there –he knew how much she hated being seen while crying.
When she finally dared to open her eyes, something clicked inside her as she was met with the prettiest shade of green.
She had never felt this way in her life, so free, so safe.
And despite the fear swirling within her, she wanted to try –to try with him.
“You are not mean, you are not a bad person, you are not something that is wrong."
His hands were so, so soft on her cheeks that she could've died.
But she didn't; she felt more alive than ever.
"You live, you act and you feel so, so much. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, you have to be you. That would be enough for me.” She smiled at him, momentarily at a loss for words.
In response, she leaned in closer, pressing a soft, salty kiss to his lips.
And she felt like she deserved it, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was.
She felt so, so loved.
hi!! this is how i feel daily lately and i am so scared of telling someone! but i hope you like it!
#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson#pjo x reader#percy jackson x you#fanfic#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson x y/n#percy jackson imagines
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Back To You - Part 3 | Sam Carpenter
Pairing: Sam Carpenter x reader
Warnings: mentions of violence, death, blood, injuries, and swearing
Summary: When Sam left after turning eighteen, you were devastated. You’d been in love with her since you were kids and her leaving meant you never got to tell her how you truly felt.
Fast forward a couple of years, Tara gets attacked and Sam returns. . .
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist
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“I’ve got a body outside a bar on Main, and then you get attacked here.” Sheriff Hicks almost sounds accusing as she looks at Sam while speaking. “You said the call came from Amber’s number?”
Sam nods faintly, a distant look in her eyes. She’s been like this ever since she and Richie came back into Tara’s room, and even though I know I shouldn’t be, I’m worried.
Not only did she almost get killed, she’s also got something on her mind that’s upsetting her. I know because she’s got that telltale crinkle of hers in her eyebrows.
“So?” Amber pipes up next to me. She came in a couple of minutes ago with Sheriff Hicks. “We know he called on my phone before when he attacked Tara.”
True, but it’s still a little weird. Why wouldn’t he just use a burner phone to make the calls?
I glance at Tara to see what she thinks about all this, but she’s just looking back and forth between Amber and Hicks, fear and uncertainty written all over her face. First she was attacked and now Sam.
Who’s going to be next?
“Or, and I’m just spit-balling here. . . You’re the killer,” Richie says and even though I neither like, nor trust him, I have to admit, he’s got a point.
Offended, Amber crosses her arms and stares at him incredulously. She looks like she’s about to say something to defend herself, but then Sheriff Hicks beats her to it.
She turns to him and narrows her eyes. “And where were you wenn all of this happened?”
Richie falters slightly and I can see him tighten his grip around Sam’s hand which he’s been holding ever since they came in. “I was. . . watching Netflix.”
I roll my eyes and sigh. Of course he was, how convenient. . .
Seemingly reading my mind, Amber scoffs and says, “Ooh, yeah. Super solid alibi, bro.”
“So, where were you?” He fires back. Then, he looks at me with raised eyebrows. “And what about you? Hmm? You just so happened to walk around the corner right after Sam was attacked?”
I stiffen and it takes everything in me not to walk around Tara’s bed and slap him. How dare he? I would never try to hurt Sam, or Tara for that matter. I can barely even kill bugs because I feel sorry for them, so how could I possibly hurt another human being like that?
“Excuse me?” My voice is low and dangerous and the only thing that stops me from snapping is Tara who grabs a hold of my sleeve. “How would I even do that? I’m injured, and I literally just got back to the hospital.”
Richie snorts. “So you say, but you wouldn’t be the first psychotic killer to fake getting hurt to divert suspicion from yourself.”
Fury pulses through my veins, but I don’t move or speak. Tara’s grip on my sleeve tightens and much to my relief, Sheriff Hicks comes to my defense while Sam continues to stare vacantly at a spot on the opposite wall.
“It wasn’t Y/N, or Amber,” she states. “Surveillance footage shows Y/N entering the hospital during the time of the attack, and it was’t Amber because I was questioning her and her friends at the sheriff’s station.”
I give her a thankful nod and place my hand over Tara’s, silently telling her that I’m not going to lash out.
“Yeah,” Amber says, leveling Richie with a glare. “I came as soon as I heard, but, you know, the Netflix alibi is good, too.”
I must admit, Amber and I never really clicked for whatever reason, but right now, she’s my favorite person.
Sheriff Hicks lets out an exasperated sigh and hands Amber her phone back. “Okay, both of you, stop it.”
“You’re going to put more cops on her room, right?”Sam’s voice takes me by surprise.
Tara glances at her sister and then back Hicks while Amber and Richie continue glaring at each other.
“Yes.” The sheriff’s face softens. “And I can move you to a private floor. Deputy Vinson knows what he’s doing, you’ll be safe.”
That last part seems to have been the wrong thing to say because Sam bristles. “Like we’ve been so far?”
Oh dear. . .
The air in the room shifts and I bite the inside of my cheek, waiting for Sheriff Hicks’s reaction.
I know Sam can be short tempered and people usually dismiss it, but I fear this time she might have crossed a line. Sheriff Hicks is only trying to help, and Sam questioning said help isn’t doing anyone any good.
“Samantha, let’s step outside.” The tight lipped smile on the sheriff’s face makes me cringe and be thankful I’m not on the receiving end of it.
Sam clenches her jaw and looks at all of us for a moment before getting up and leaving the room with Sheriff Hicks.
Not even a minute later she returns, alone, and stands by the open door with a defeated look on her face. “Well, she remains a delight. . .”
I can’t help the way my lips twitch in slight amusement, and when Sam’s eyes meet mine, a bitter sweet smile briefly tugs at her lips.
“Are you okay?” Tara asks, putting an end to our little . . . moment?
Sam’s eyes dart to Richie, Amber, and then back to me. “Uh, actually. Would you mind giving us a second? I need to talk to Tara.”
“Of course,” I say quietly, squeezing Tara’s hand reassuringly. “I’ll be outside if you need anything.”
She smiles softly and let’s go of my sleeve, watching Amber, Richie and me file out of the room before Sam closes the door behind us.
“So, you’re a fan of the Hawks?” Deputy Vinson asks when I run into him outside the bathroom.
“What? Oh.” I look down when he points at my hockey sweater. “Yes, kind of. I’m on the team.”
“Really?” He smiles.
“Yeah, but I don’t play professionally yet because I’m currently working on getting my Masters degree,” I explain.
Vinson lets out an impressed whistle. “Nice. So, you’re planning on playing professionally once you’re done?”
I shrug. “That’s the plan, yes, but we’ll see what happens.”
He nods and smiles. “Good for you.”
“Thanks.” I smile back and point my thumb over my shoulder. “I should go. Tara might need something and I think I forgot my phone in her room.”
He nods again and ushers me to get going. I chuckle and turn to leave, feeling my smile drop a moment later when I round the corner and see Richie standing at the door to Tara’s room, clearly listening to what’s being said inside.
“Hey!”
He flinches and steps away from the door, his eyes widening when he sees me.
“What are you doing? Are you eavesdropping?” I know the question is unnecessary, because he clearly is, but I want to make him squirm.
He takes another step back and raises his hands defensively. “What? No, of course not.”
I continue walking toward him, closing the distance between us until we’re almost toe to toe. We’re the same height, so I can’t say I’m looking down when I level him with a challenging stare, yet he seems to be shrinking in on himself the longer I stare at him.
“I was just— I wasn’t,” he stutters, trying to explain himself, but then a shout from inside the room cuts him off.
“Get the fuck out!”
Tara.
A second later the door opens and Sam comes out with tears streaming down her face. She winces when she sees Richie and me and quickly wipes at her eyes while trying to suppress a sob.
What happened in there?
The look on her face and the tears in her eyes remind me of the night eleven years ago when she snuck into my room. I still don’t know why she did it back then, but I have a feeling it’s related to whatever just happened between her and Tara.
Unlike that night eleven years ago though, I don’t make a move to comfort her. Not necessarily because I don’t want to, I do and don’t at the same time, but because Richie beats me to it.
He pulls Sam into a hug and looks at me over her shoulder, daring me to continue my interrogation from before. And even though I would love to do nothing more than just that, I drop it and slip into the room.
If Sam is this upset, there’s a good chance Tara’s not doing any better either, and when I see her, sitting in her bed with her own tears streaming down her cheeks, I’m proven right.
I close the door behind me and quickly make my way to the bed, sitting down next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” I whisper when she moves closer and buries her face in my shoulder. “You’ll be okay.”
“No. . .” She whimpers and hugs my waist. “Sam. . . She- She—“
“You don’t have to tell me what happened.” I cut her off, but she shakes her head.
“N-No, I do. You have to know,” she says, her voice muffled by our embrace.
I raise an eyebrow even though she can’t see it and ask, “Know what?”
Tara shudders and tightens her arms around me. “Billy Loomis is Sam’s real dad.“
Five years ago
“There you go, buddy. Sleep tight.” I laugh when Liam groans and buries his face in his pillow. He called me half an hour ago to pick him up from a party because Paige is sleeping at her girlfriend’s tonight and he didn’t want to bother her.
“Thank youuu, I love you,” he slurs and I just pat him on the back.
“I love you, too, dude.“ I go to the kitchen and fill a glass of water before returning to his room and placing it on his nightstand next to some painkillers. “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” he mumbles again and then he’s out like a light.
I leave the apartment, locking the front door, and get into my car to start the short drive home.
It’s almost one in the morning, and I’m exhausted, but I’m glad Liam called me instead of driving home himself.
Yes it’s late, and yes, I’m tired, but I couldn’t have lived with myself if anything had happened to him if he’d gotten into his car, drunk, and gotten into an accident.
My parents woke up when I was on my way out, asking where I was going and when I told them, they simply told me to drive safely before going back to bed.
Now, I’m almost back home, and I can practically already feel the warm embrace of my bed again, but then I spot something that makes my heart stop.
Stumbling along the side walk with a man hot on her heels is Sam. The man keeps grabbing her arm, saying something, and she keeps brushing him off, obviously uncomfortable.
Her movements are uncoordinated and I hate the fact that I know why.
She’s high again.
Without thinking, I drive past them and pull over, stopping the car on the side walk right in front of them.
“Hey! Take a hike, dude,” I say, getting out of the car.
Sam and the man both come to a halt and stare at me. Sam barely even registers what’s going on, her glassy eyes staring right through me while the man scoffs and steps up to me.
“Mind your own business,” he growls. He seems to be in his thirties, has a buzz cut, and has a tattoo of a tiny rose on his temple.
“Sorry— No can do, pal,” I say calmly, trying not to cringe at the smell of alcohol on his breath. “She’s my friend, and you’re bothering her, so leave.”
“Or what?” he asks, smirking and revealing his chipped front tooth.
I sigh. “Or we’re going to have a problem.”
“Yeah?” He laughs and shoves me slightly. “What are you going to do, kid? Hmm? Call your parents? Or—“
My fist connects with his jaw, and a second later he’s on the ground, unconscious.
Was that a bit of an overreaction? Maybe. But did he deserve it? Definitely.
“Y/N!” Sam gapes at me. “W-What did you do?”
Even though she’s high, she doesn’t seem to have lost all of her ability to think straight. She sways on her feet and goes to crouch down next to the man, but I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and pull her back up.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” I say. She smells like alcohol, too, and I don’t even want to imagine the amount of drugs and alcohol she’s consumed tonight.
“No,” she slurs, weakly clawing at my arms. “I don’t— I don’t wanna go home. I wanna go— I wanna go with Josh.”
“Josh?” I ask. “You know that guy?”
“No— I mean, yes a little. He bought me a drink and—”
“He was trying to take advantage of you!” I argue, not letting go of her.
“No, he wasn’t!” she shouts and I cringe, hoping no one wakes up and looks out of their window because of her.
We’re in a quiet neighborhood, and I’m almost certain if someone saw us right now, they’d call the cops because they think I’m trying to kidnap her.
And I wouldn’t even blame them for it, because it definitely looks like it, but I’m really just trying to help.
This isn’t the first time I’ve taken her home after finding her high, and even though I’m used to the protest she puts up, the next thing she says catches me off guard.
“You always ruin everything, Y/N!”
I freeze and try not to let it get to my head, but her words tug at my heart painfully.
She doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
I swallow the growing lump in my throat and loosen my hold on her a little. “Come on, Sam. I don’t want to fight. Just get in the car.”
Much to my surprise, a moment later, the fight leaves her body and she wordlessly let’s me lead her to the car.
I open the passenger door and help her in, making sure to put her seatbelt on before closing the door again and rounding the front of the car to get to the driver’s side.
As I open the door, the man, Josh, starts to regain consciousness. He groans and twists on the ground, making me roll my eyes.
Pathetic.
I know he’ll be fine since I didn’t hit him that hard, so I get in the car and pull back onto the road, leaving him behind just as he’s getting back up.
“I hate you,” Sam whispers a minute later. Her voice sounds clearer than before and the venom lacing her words makes me believe she actually means it.
She’s said it before, especially the first few times I picked her up from a party, but she’s never said it like this before.
It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she’s safe.
There’s a big chance she won’t even remember saying it tomorrow morning, but I know I will.
Neither one of us says anything else while I drive until I pull up next to the curb by our houses.
Seeing Christina Carpenter’s car in Sam’s driveway, I figure it’s not the best idea to drag her up to their front door and ring the doorbell, so I take her to my house after helping her out of the car.
She’s back to being completely high, head lolling from side to side and steps totally uncoordinated, so as soon as we get inside, I pick her up and carry her up to my room.
I expected her to protest, to tell me to put her down immediately, but she doesn’t. Instead she wraps her arms around my neck and holds onto me while I carry her.
“Alright, here we go,” I whisper when we make it to my room. I’m not afraid of waking my parents because they’d understand why I brought Sam here instead of taking her home, but I don’t want them to worry, so I try to stay as quiet as possible.
It turns out, opening a door with a whole ass person in my arms is more of a challenge than I thought, but I eventually manage to get it open, stepping inside and closing it behind us again with a soft click.
“‘M tired,” Sam mumbles, her fingers curling around the fabric of my jacket.
“Yeah, I bet,” I say quietly, feeling my own exhaustion wash over me. “Just a little longer, then you can sleep.”
I gently place her on the bed and take off her shoes before pulling the comforter out from underneath her.
“Do you need anything else? Something to drink? A sweater,” I ask, but Sam doesn’t answer. She has her eyes closed and it looks like she’s already asleep. When I move to sleep on my couch on the other side of the room though, her hand shoots out and she grabs my wrist.
“Just you.”
I hesitate and try to ignore the way my skin tingles where she’s touching me.
I hate you.
The memory of her words stings and makes my heart ache, but then she opens her eyes and looks at me pleadingly.
It’s the kind of look she always uses when she wants something from me, so a moment later, I cave and slowly slip into bed next to her.
“Thank you,” she whispers and the sincerity with which she says it makes tears well up in my eyes.
First she says she hates me, then she asks me to sleep in the same bed with her.
I’m so confused and exhausted, it hurts, and I don’t know how much longer I can endure this emotional roller coaster.
She changed after that night six years ago when she snuck into my room, and at first I thought it was just a phase, but then her dad left and as time went on, she pulled away more and more, avoiding me until, eventually, she started drinking and doing drugs.
There are moments where her old self shines through, like last week, when we had a movie night with Tara and my parents, but those moments are rare and these days, they’re basically nonexistent.
“Y/N?”
I freeze, her sleepy voice bringing me back to reality.
“Yes?” I hold my breath, waiting for her to continue, but she never doesn’t. “Sam?”
I turn my head to look at her in the darkness and exhale shakily when I realize she’s asleep. I admire her soft features for a moment, taking note of how grown up she looks now that she’s turned eighteen, and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Then, I drop my hand on the mattress in the space between us and sigh.
“Good night, Sammy.”
The next morning when I wake up, I’m not surprised to find that she’s gone, just like that time when she snuck into my room.
I figure it’s probably best to give her some space, and let her deal with whatever she’s dealing with, but then, two days later, Tara calls me crying, and tells me Sam has left.
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Tag list: @bella423 @artrizzler19 @btay3115 @canyonyodeler @quadofthec
#x reader#sam carpenter x reader#sam carpenter#samantha carpenter x reader#samantha carpenter#scream#angst
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Constant Companions Closeup #11: MACHINE LOVE
youtube
(also on bandcamp and spotify!)
Welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was the title track, My Darling, My Companion, which means today is the final track on the album - a song about the truths that lay in hiding within artifice, and a computer falling in love - Machine Love!
Before we get started on this particularly long closeup - I'll be doing a follow-up post after this one, answering various miscellaneous questions I've gotten over the course of writing these! If you've got anything you wanna hear more from me about, album-related or otherwise, feel free to reply to this post or send me an ask! It may very well end up part of the bonus closeup :~)
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Let's circle back to the very first track, Dyad.
In that track's closeup, I mentioned the main sonic touchstones of this release relative to my previous ones being guitars and vocal synths. The whole guitar rock thing I think I've gone into detail enough about, what with all the inspirations I've rattled off in other posts, but there likely is still a burning question for some long-time listeners.
Why vocal synths? Why am I not singing on like half of this album? I thought you were a singer, Jamie Paige, so what is this Hatsune Miku robot Vocaloid crap?
Truth be told, the Vocaloid scene and community has always been a massive source of inspiration for me. So much of my favorite music ever, music that inspires me or touches my heart or makes me go apeshit, has been sung by synthesized vocalists in a language I don't even speak. I grew up with it, and it's grown up with me - music just as intricate, mind-boggling, twisted, fun, and ridiculously creative is being put out every single day by vocal synth producers, and nowadays it's coming from English speaking musicians in droves!
Before this year began, I'd made at least one major contribution to the culture, but in spite of my genuine adoration of everything vocal synth related, I felt like I was just looking in from the other side. Caught between worlds, existing outside of any communities, simply gesturing vaguely towards what I wanted to do.
But I wanted more! I wanted to make the same kinds of things that stirred my heart and made me want to write! I wanted to sing with those same voices! I wanted it to be true - to be like you!
---
I won't lie to you and tell you Kasane Teto has always been my favorite vocal synth. That title used to go to GUMI, and in general, I wasn't particularly attached to any UTAU voicebanks as a younger vocal synth fan. (Nowadays, I genuinely open up OpenUTAU just as much as SynthV because I've fallen deeply in love with Adachi Rei, but that's a story for my next album.) Obviously, I knew of Teto, and found her presence in things like Triple Baka delightful, but for the most part, she was mostly something of an oddity, a wayward piece of vocal synth history that had her Fans like any other.
However, there was one Teto song I've been inexplicably attached to since the moment I first heard it - Song of the Eared Robot, by nwp8861. I was introduced via this particular cover, which I love, but I quickly gravitated to the original. Something about the warbly, childish nature of her very first voicebank, the ambitiously orchestrated and unabashedly digital instrumental, the lyrics referencing fundamental frequencies and Markov chains and compiling code all just spoke to me!
That song stuck with me, laying in a part of my heart that had been collecting dust, all the way to April of 2023.
Now, yes, Teto wasn't always my favorite, and I had other vocal synths I was attached to, but I don't live under a rock, and I still understood how monumental the announcement of Kasane Teto's Synth V voicebank was - to the point that I interrupted a call full of FFXIV-playing friends who knew barely anything about vocal synths and gave them an impromptu TED talk because I was so excited.
(An excerpt of a summary of that night's events, written the morning after. i was up my own ass a little bit but in my defense Kasane Teto had just been announced for Synthesizer V)
I was watching, in real time, a dream made manifest. It's literally one of the Bits with Teto! That she'd be a Vocaloid one day too! And here she was, on the fan favorite engine, sounding genuinely fucking incredible. Especially in hindsight, it's such a beautiful and perfect twist of fate for her.
I saw myself in her. A weird little outcast, explosively reborn and thrust straight into a community's open arms with love. I wanted it to be true - To be like that, too.
It didn't fully hit until later, hearing another cover of a song I'd almost forgotten.
Machine Love, my love letter to the entire world of unbridled creativity and artistry surrounding vocal synths filtered through one sentimental little song, was fully written by the start of May, maybe 4 days after I had gotten my hands on Teto SV and long before a certain compilation album was even a glint in my eye.
If you haven't heard DAEMON/DOLL yet, you really, really, really should go listen to it - yes, I mastered this album, many of my friends and collaborators are featured, and I have two entire songs on it, but I genuinely mean it when I say I believe it's some of the best fucking music that's come out this year in general. In many respects, it also feels like a companion (hah) to Constant Companions.
I had finished writing Machine Love by this point, but it was working on this album in its entirety - discovering artists like Anh Duy, Eggtan, and beat_shobon through it, and hearing everyone in top form making this twin-drilled chimera fucker sing her heart out - that not only made me confident in my decision to go down this artistic path, but that made me fall completely in love with Kasane Teto. And honestly, how could I not? She feels like a microcosm of everything that makes vocal synths so special, this community of creatives all leaving their marks and touchstones along the trail of a great big shared folk mythos. Yeah, maybe the folk hero we're all collectively mythologizing is an anime girl, but yknow maybe Odysseus could take some branding cues from hatsune miku idfk
Basically, even if he says he wants to kill me, I owe fucking everything to rice for inviting me to work on DAEMON/DOLL.
---
On that note, my vision for Machine Love's MV was pretty clear from the beginning.
youtube
the actual factual setup for the above shot, which was done entirely in-camera with my laptop, a tv, and two video files manually synced using VLC
The fundamental idea was always there - live-action shots of animation playing back on various screens, edited together to feel somewhat seamless. However, I really struggled with what exactly was going to be on said screens for a while; Big commissions were very far out of my budget, but I knew this song needed something grandiose.
Ultimately, what I arrived at was exactly the kind of scrappy, DIY bullshit it was always meant to be.
I asked my Twitter mutuals for help. And spent a couple months in Final Cut Pro and Apple Motion hell turning all the Teto art I got into a bunch of tiny little mini MVs, some of them parodying real vocal synth MVs, some of simply just evocative of vocal synth MVs, all of them painstakingly edited by yours truly and filmed with the help of some friends over the next couple months across two states and many more cities just to be painstakingly edited and synced up again by yours truly.
THE NEXT MV I DO WILL BE SMALLER IN SCOPE
---
And with that, I believe that's the album!
There's a reason it ends with Machine Love, and not with the title track. I do think that in some respects My Darling, My Companion would have made a better closer, but that song only really resolves one of the thematic strands running through the album.
There isn't really a definitive answer to the specific question "Baby, do you know what you wanna hear?", but it evokes a theme running through the entire album - wanting something, knowing that you want something, and simply needing to find the courage to do it or say it or be it. My Darling, My Companion is in many ways a declaration of intent, an acceptance of what needs to happen, but Machine Love, to me, is that action being done. The words being said!
And now, if I may give this a somewhat selfish tint - with the explosive response my works from this album have gotten, my contributions to things like DAEMON/DOLL and Flavor Foley, the collaborations I've done and that I still have in the pipeline, the friends I've made and the community I've found a spot for myself in, and the newfound voices that I can lay my heart bare with -
Well, shit, I know what I wanna hear, and I've gotten to hear it. I'm a vocaloP. It's real!
Thank you all so goddamn much for reading and listening. I'll see you back here either tomorrow or Monday for the bonus AMA post thing!! Make art and be gay, motherfuckers.
❤️💚
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God where to start! Daemon is clearly smitten against his will. I hate the idea, really, because I remember his attempts to murder her earlier (I SAW YOU, DAEMON. I DO NOT FORGET EASILY)
I was really rooting for the twins so I missed them a bit during this chapter. I feel sad for Erryk, ignored, though I understand reader's mood. I would be mad too. And sad.
AEMMA! Please tell me she doesn't day and this is not the heir's tournament. Don't break my heart so soon, I still have finals to complete.
As always, lovely writing! I missed reading you write (Is that even worded right?) smut, I find you very compelling because you manage to engage the five senses or at least most of them, which is something I find so hard in my own writing, so I am always in awe at you.
Me reading that scene:
Tourneys and favors are also my favorite thing ever, so this chapter felt like a lovely little treat. Can't wait to read more! (Only when you are ready, of course)
Tormented Spirit | 6
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (piv, biting, marking, mild choking) DD:DNE, violence/death, panic/anxiety attacks, mentions of pregnancy/labor, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: ayo my high valyrian is probably wrong so if you know it is just roll with it. girl this fic doesnt want to end wtf i- if you like my work, please consider leaving a comment or reblog as I really look forward to them
@arabellasleopardcoat
You fall asleep in Daemon's arms as he walks back to the Keep. He cannot help himself. His lilac eyes go back and forth between your face and where he was going. There seemed to be nothing else. It was just him, the moon, and your breathing against his neck.
When he reached the door to his marriage chambers, and he was taken aback by the sudden galloping of a Cargyll twin. The knight opens the door then makes way. Daemon turns over his shoulder and realizes both brothers had been following him.
There is an angry annoyance that forces up his throat, but when you release an audible sigh, and he remembers it was he who had instructed them to retrieve you. He says two words before entering the room and kicking the door closed, "thank you."
Daemon lays you down and gulps at the sight of your body. Your brown hair falls over your face as you shuffle and reach out for nothing. He realizes then, as the urge to push your tresses away intensifies, that he's never witnessed you sleep before.
He removes your shoes, placing them at the foot of your bed.
And he never will.
Daemon walks off. He's five steps from making an exit when he hears the noise you make. He stills and waits a few seconds. You make the noise again.
With a line between his brows, he returns to you, peering over your body. Indeed, you were still asleep, but from the way your lips and forehead curled, you were dreaming of something unpleasant. He sighs, clasping his hands, "amīvindigon sesīr isse ēdrugon." Tormented even in sleep.
There is a discomfort that spreads in his ribs as tears leave your closed eyes. He shakes his head "mundagon riña." Miserable girl.
He sits beside you, staring for a moment before finally brushing your hair back, doing the same with your tears. While caressing your soft skin, he finds his thumb itching to smoothen out the creases on your face that seem to only deepen. Under his breath, he speaks to you the way he would Caraxes when he's overcome with emotion. He forfeits the commanding tone however and whispers each word.
At some point, both his hands find your cheeks. He is so caught up in tracing your lips, he doesn't even realize you were no longer in distress, nor does he know of your consciousness until you lean into his touch.
He is frozen when his eyes meet yours. He starts slightly when you sit up, heart racing when you embrace him. His pulse thunders so loud that you pull away and examine his face in worry. Daemon's breath hitches when your hands clutch his cheeks. Your eyes rove across his face and again, your forehead curls. You speak in the softest of voices, "what's wrong?"
He thinks for a moment. He stares at you. You just had a nightmare, yet you ask him what is wrong? He shifts and rests his hand at the small of your back. He shakes his head as his expression falls. He whispers, "mirre iksis sȳrī, jorrāeliarza." All is well, beloved.
You do not understand him.
He repeats, "all is well."
Your features slowly relax.
His harden as he tests the word he omitted in translation, "beloved."
His belly flutters at the faint chuckle you release. His eyes begin to widen when you slowly lean closer.
Daemon pulls his head back, intent on watching what you, but he freezes when you kiss his cheek, again and again. You kiss his jaw, his jowl, his lips. Suddenly, he can smell you so clearly. Suddenly, he pulls you in.
You gather your skirts as you climb onto his lap. You sigh as you deepen your kiss him. He makes a strangled sound against your mouth when you grind on his crotch. He digs his fingers into your hips before pushing your dress out of the way to claw at your thighs.
He sighs when your hands brush his chest. His breathing grows heavy at your attempt to free him of his top. He helps you get him out of his garbs, and soon he is getting you out of yours. Once you're both naked, he pulls you in, pressing his skin against yours, unwilling to part from your body. Simultaneously, he has a strong urge to examine you, to commit to memory the hue of your skin and the curves of your flesh. Daemon, in all his greed, tries to do both at once.
With you still sitting on him, he squeezes your bum, securing you on his lap as he drinks in your visage. He shamelessly moans and pants as you continue to grind on him, and now he can feel your wetness on his hardening member. As you undo the tie of his hair and comb the silver strands back, he remembers the first time you'd ever fucked.
He is hypnotized by your confidence, by how unbridled and overt your desire for him is. Nothing remains of the timid little girl he claimed on the beach. You were lust incarnate, the goddess of sex. You scratch your nails up his nape and besiege him with open mouthed kiss. He returns your fervor, scratching his nails up down back, garnering out a shaky moan from your lips
He breaks away only to ogle at your breasts and he knead them. His breath grows heavier at your continued grinding and hitches upon catching your dazed reaction. He spews out a string of High Valyrian curses before capturing your ribcage. He sinks his face into your chest and you mewl at the feel of his hot mouth on your breast, feeling restless and needy.
"Daemon," you tug at the roots of his hair, "I need you."
You are uninclined to wait for him as you lean into his shoulder while your other hand grabs his cock. Your breast in his mouth muffles the noise that leaves him as sink down on him. You yelp when he nips your sternum, but it does not deter you from beginning to maneuver your hips up and down.
"Fuck, fuck," Daemon huffs against your chest. He looks up at you, going mad at the sight of your closed-eyed concentration. He licks a stripe of sweat building on the side of your neck and thrusts up in sync to your movements.
"N-ñuha dārilaros," my prince falls from your lips.
He moans at that. He straightens and traps you tightly in both his arms, "where did you fucking learn that?"
You squeak as his thrusts grow more vigorous, "I- mmm- in- uh- book."
Daemon licks your lower lip before biting it, "desperate hussy," he moans against your mouth, "iksan jāre naejot pryjagon ao." I am going to destroy you.
You gasp as he pushes you back like you were nothing. Your legs immediately lock around his hips as he comes atop you and your voice trembles when his hips thrust slower but deeper as he adjusts you to the center of the bed. He nuzzles into your neck, licking your jaw. He then pushes himself up and rubs your the curve of your ass.
You yield to him as he pushes your thighs back, bringing your legs over his shoulders. Using his weight to keep you down, he takes your wrists and pins them above you while the other tightens around your throat.
He fucks you thoroughly in this position and you can do nothing but whimper, arch your back, and feel your arousal drip onto the bed.
His hand brushes up your neck and soon he's tracing your parted lips with his thumb. You take him in and bite his finger. It stokes a flame in his belly, thus why he pulls away to push hand into the back of your knees.
You are helpless as he plows into you. Daemon, in his delirium, reverts back into his mother tongue. He sings your body praises in High Valyrian. He calls you dirty names as he slaps his hips into yours with a wet squelch. Your fucked-out expression pulls out an honest confession of how pretty he think you'd look stuffed with his seed.
Of course, you cannot understand a word he's saying, nor do you know how much calling him name is egging him on.
He watches you, his darling doe. The dragon in him relishes your screwed eyes and opened mouth. You throw your head back as you chase your building pleasure, meanwhile Daemon feels his stomach tighten as his own nears.
Fuck, you were beautiful. It would be a shame to waste his seed.
A deep line forms between his brows as he imagines the child you would bear him. Fuck. He does not want it.
He grabs your jaw and pushes your head to the side. It's enough to push you over the edge. He curses as he feels you tighten around him. You're so hot and wet and divine, he grits his teeth to build his resolve. Quickly, he quickly pulls out, gliding his cock back and forth your slick folds, sequentially finishing on your pulsing cunt and belly, just as he always does.
The image is nothing new, but it drives him no less wild. Behold, the Lord Hand's dearest daughter, all dirty with his molten come. It's a wicked, wet dream made reality. It was all his.
But there was something different. Daemon doesn't just pull away and roll over. He stares at you for a while, watching you catch your breath as he does the same. He stares at the mess he's made of you, and yes, you were filthy but you were also glimmering. He gulps, before grabbing his discarded clothes to clean you up.
He wets his dress shirt with water then wipes you down. He does the same to himself and catches you staring.
His instinct is to ruin the moment, to berate you for looking so dumbstruck and to praise the prowess of his cock, but he cannot find it in him to do so with how utterly enchanting you look in the afterglow of your love m— fucking.
You reach out to him.
His heart races.
"Stay," you whisper.
If there's one thing he hates, it's people telling him what to do.
... why then was such a simple word so compelling?
You fix the pillows on the bed as your husband crawls beside you. Daemon feels his throat constrict as you throw yourself on him. He is unable to move as you press your chests together and snake your leg over his hips. He does not know why he's become petrified by your touch. You trace your thumb across his face, "you're so beautiful."
Daemon does not reply. He cannot.
His brows furrow when he thinks he notices your eyes water. They furrow deeper when you smile and laugh out, "I wish you were real."
You feel sick after saying that.
He feels sick after hearing that.
Your prince shakes his hand and takes the hand you had on his face, "I am real."
You nod and laugh again. "I believe you."
Why then do your tears fall?
Daemon lets you curl into him. You latch onto him so tightly, he feels you would not be able to push you away even if he wanted. He doesn't want to though.
You fall asleep in his arms.
You wake up all alone.
You groan at the sound your servants telling you to rise. You brush your brown hair off your shoulder and knit your brows at the feel of your night gown. A pit instantly forms in your belly. Of course it had been a dream.
Hot tears that instantly rush down your cheeks. You hide underneath your blankets and manage to croak, "leave me alone."
You weep into your pillows for you did not know any better. You did not know Daemon had slept with you. You did not know when he awoke, he watched you sleep until the last minute. You did not know he put you into the clothes you wore because you shivered without his heat.
You hear your servants fuss over you. They ask if you're ill and in need of a maester. The only response you give are sniffles and groans. They ask if you will be able to attend today's tourney.
You moan, "what?"
"It will be starting soon, milady," one of the servants say, "do you not want to see your husband joust? He is quite good."
You know she says it to entice you, but it only makes you feel sick. After all, you did not know Daemon roused early, only because he needed to prepare for the tourney. You never will.
The same servant says, "and your brother? Isn't it his last day in King's Landing?"
You push your blankets down and stare at your two servants.
"Milady," the other says softly, "it would be good to attend."
"I do not want to behold my brother in such violence," you snuggle into bed.
The servants turn to each other, and one offers, "you can close your eyes upon collision, princess."
You sigh and shake your head. You think of Daemon. You think of how he'll surely hurt Gwayne if they face each other. Your think of how he'd done so in a tourney once before. You shake your head, "I do not want to go."
So you do not.
When the tourney commences, Daemon is most eager to make his entrance. One by one, the players are called, and upon his turn, he trots on his horse with a look of pride. He basks in the cheers as his eyes fall to the main balcony, where he quickly spots the king. His expression further brightens at the sight of his brother's smile and his niece's grin. When he spots your sister and your ugly father, he looks the crowd once over, looking for you. His lips flatten when he realizes you're not there. He awaits your arrival, forfeiting the first pick to witness your entrance, then he realizes, you wouldn't be coming. Suddenly, it was as though he never woke up in a good mood.
Meanwhile, you were aimlessly roaming the castle with one Cargyll twin trailing behind you. You do not know who it is, as you cannot find it in you to speak to him. You knew if you did, you'd end up asking him what happened after him and his brother found you in the temple. You did not want to be disappointed by the reality you'd dreamed up Daemon, so you hold your tongue.
You are torn from your lonesome trance when you hear wailing across the hall. You find yourself drawing near to the source, and you realize it was coming from Queen's chambers. Your feet falter when it dawns on you she was now in labor.
One of the servants spots you and curtsies, "princess. Have you come to visit the queen?"
You release a shaky breath, "I-"
"Who is it?!" Aemma snaps loudly then sighs.
You step back, heart racing. You gasp when you knock into Cargyll's chest plate. Another gasp comes when you turn forward and find the face of the queen. She looks distraught and yet she laughs, "your husband visited me just this morning."
You watch as she groans and rubs her belly, "he requires your attention more th-" she winces, "than I."
You cannot help but take her arm, "s-should you not be in bed, my queen?"
Aemma sighs, squeezing your arm in return, "walking can help speed-" she does not continue as her face curls in discomfort.
You feel your breath hitch as she squeezes you tighter, "sh-shall we walk to-together?"
She looks at you, a deep line between her brows, "Daemon was very excited for today's tourney. You should be there cheering for him."
"But-"
Aemma lurches forward as a particularly painful contraction hits her.
She is taken by the midwives and lead back into her chambers. You are so stunned by the encounter, your ward has to reel you back and shake you.
"My princess," he takes your shoulders.
You look at him, unable to speak. Your eyes become glassy but you manage to take deep breaths to calm yourself.
"Do not distress," he says, rubbing your arms, "the queen has everyone she needs at her disposal."
Your lips wobble, "her p-pain must be unbearable."
He cannot help the twist of his face nor how his face reaches out for your cheek, "you need not think about anyone else's pain. You have far too much of your own."
You do not respond to him until you find yourself in the gardens. You are grateful he did not think to lead you into the maester's ward, and guilty that you still do not know who it was accompanying you.
"Erryk?"
"Yes, my princess?"
You turn from the flower bushes to him, "did I get it right?"
He knits his brows and nods, "yes, my princess."
"Apologies for not speaking to you earlier. I... was not in good spirits."
"You needn't apologize for doing what is best for you."
You lower your head, "you are too kind to me."
"I really ought to be kinder," he says, taking your hand in both of his.
You look at him as he rubs your knuckles. You smile and cover his hands with yours.
"I would tell you to watch the tourney if I were kinder," Erryk says.
You laugh, "it is precisely because you are kind that you do not tell me to do such things."
Erryk thinks how inappropriate it was of him to act this way, to hold your hand, to impose his opinions upon you. If he was kinder, he would not be so apparent with his fondness. He mutters, "I am dutiful, my princess, but I am not kind."
You knit your brows at that.
He does not clarify and pulls away, "perhaps you would like to go out and pick flowers again?"
You smile at the thought, but remember your brother, "I do not want to miss my brother. He will leave today before sunset no matter what."
He nods. If he were kinder, he'd offer to take you to the tourney to see your brother while he is still here, but he also does not want to bring you to your husband.
You think of the tourney nonetheless, as well as the queen's words. You sigh and shake your head, "would it be inappropriate to watch the games at this hour?"
Erryk is surprised by your question.
"I do not want to appear as though I meant to make an entrance."
"I assure you," he shakes his head, "no one would think it. It is not your nature."
You chuckle to yourself, turning to your feet, "you're right. They'd probably assume I was subject to the horrors. As it is my nature."
"That is not what I mean-"
"A jest," you smile, "a mere jest."
When you arrive at the tourney, your father immediately assumes exactly what you said, and looks you over in concern. You simply agree with what he assumes to save yourself the trouble but reassure him you were better. You then assume the seat beside Alicent.
It's harder to reassure her, as her worry is more frantic than your father's. She secures her hand in yours throughout the event, and tells you which players she thinks will do poorly so you are not so shocked if they end up on the ground.
You are glad of it, but in truth you pay little attention to the violence. You let your mind wander, counting how many birds fly overhead. You daydream about flying on Caraxes. You daydream about embracing Daemon from behind.
You are only pulled back into reality when you hear your brother's name announced.
Alternatively, Daemon rolls his eyes as he dawdles around his tent, waiting for his turn to bash someone in with his lance.
You perk from your seat, watching the man with the Hightower sigil gallop across the stadium, all the way to you. Gwayne removes his helmet and smiles. He calls out, "I am glad to see you, sister. I was concerned you would not come."
Daemon stills when he hears this and looks out his tent.
"Cast away your concerns. Focus on staying on your horse," you call back.
Gwayne offers his lance, "perhaps your favor will keep me upright, princess."
You roll your eyes at your brother's teasing regard. Still, you stand and throw him a wreath, "do not dare fall off your horse, ser."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he puts his helmet back on.
As the Hightower twins were speaking, Daemon exited his tent and mounted his horse. Without even looking at the man who meant to go against Gwayne, the prince announce he have his turn and gallops off, leaving everyone nothing else to do but follow.
Daemon replaces your brother, huffing as he halts before you. He looks up at you and your parted lips, your braided brown hair, your terribly modest dress. Suddenly, his chipper mood returns to him. He licks his lips and grins, calling out your name.
Alicent turns to you, gripping your hand. Rhaenyra turns to you, chuckling under her breath. Otto turns to you, clenching his jaw. Viserys turns to you, smiling softly. You turn to Daemon, voice breaking, "husb-and."
Your husband releases a breathy laugh. His stomach feels fuzzy, "I am gladdened by your appearance."
Your throat tightens yet your jaw slacks. He is?
Daemon watches you. He waits for your response but receives none. It makes his brows furrow, but his smile remains. He points his lance, "give me your favor."
"I-"
"He's already given her favor, uncle," Rhaenyra says, leaning forward.
Daemon's eyes remain on you, "then she'll give another."
The princess laughs, "she cannot favor two knights. Especially not two knights jousting against each other."
Daemon finally turns to his niece. She smiles at him as he huffs, "fine," but the prince turns to Alicent, "if I cannot have my wife's favor, her sister's suffice."
Rhaenyra turns to Alicent. Alicent turns to you. Your eyes do not leave Daemon. Your sister pulls away and takes the wreath, dropping it on his lance, "I do hope fortune finds you, my prince."
Daemon nods at her.
Alicent sits back down, turning between her friend and her sister. The former looks sulky while the latter looks agitated. Your heart pounds as Daemon smiles at you once he is positioned opposite Gwayne. You misinterpret his expression. Alicent takes your hand, and this time you squeeze her tightly as you turn to your twin, "he will hurt Gwayne."
Your sister watches you gulp and rubs your hand, "it's a tourney."
You turn to Alicent with wide eyes, "precisely," you rapidly shake your head, "I should not have come."
Alicent lowers her head to offer you a solemn expression, "our brother is not made of glass. He is knight and a formidable player in his own regard."
You smile at your sister and nod, trying to find comfort in her words. You look back at Daemon, finding him already looking at you. His grin is renewed and you feel your stomach churn. You shift on your chair and avert your gaze to your brother. Gwayne is already faced forward with his helmet on. You mutter a prayer of protection under your breath.
Daemon's brows knit when you do not turn back to him. He tries to will you to look with his mind, but you do not, not even when the horses begin to run.
Gwayne manages to hit him, the cunt's lance colliding with his chest where his own misses. A point is called and the crowds cheer. Daemon turns to you and finds a look of relief on your face. It causes his lips to tighten. He barks as he charges the second time.
Gwayne hits him again, this time, nearly dismounting. Daemon skids on the railing but manages to get himself upright.
The prince huffs, eyeing his opponent darkly. His eyes trail back to you, finding you looking out to him in concern. Part of his anger dissipates, but then you turn to your brother, gesturing vaguely. Your twin gestures back and you roll your eyes at him. Daemon doesn't understand what it means, but it irritates him all the same.
He huffs and decides to be done with this bother. The prince is silent until the horses start running again. His lance expertly makes the hit, causing the horse to topple forward, effectively sending the ginger cunt flying off. The heavy crashing and loud gasps are music to his ears. Daemon looks back at his opponent and laughs. He chucks his splintered weapon to the side and entices cheers with his victory scream.
The only reason his celebration stops is because he hears shrill scream from the balcony. He turns and finds you standing by the railing, calling out to your brother. Your father and sister are stood behind you, trying to calm you down. You thrash against them and manage to slip away. Daemon watches you leave the balcony and the Cunt Hand gives an apologetic look to the king.
Erryk follows you as you make your way down the arena to Gwayne's tent. He is uneasy by how distressed you were, and though he knew your distress would not wane until you see the condition of your twin, he did not like the idea of you coming to him, lest it inspire the rage of your husband, who was rather happy to watch your brother crumple to the ground.
You find Gwayne laid on a cot, attended by some squires. His helmet is removed and his pained expression makes you run to him.
"Brother," you come to his side, finding relief in the maester that enters his tent.
You tense when your brother calls your name and worriedly wipe the blood that trickled down his philtrum with a towel.
He groans and you pull away, allowing the maester to inspect him. His bent breastplate is removed and you see bruises on his pale chest. The measter presses his ear against his chest and turns to you, "Lord Gwayne is strong. He will be fine."
You breathe a sigh of relief and nods, "thank you. Thank the gods."
"You should not be here," Gwayne groans as he sits up.
You glare at him, gripping your skirt.
"Get her out of here, Carygll," he motions vaguely. Erryk comes to your side on cue.
You scoff, "hypocrite. If you were in my place, would you leave if I asked you?"
"Please," he looks up at you with tired blue eyes, "I do not wish to quarrel."
"Then do not wish me away!" you shake your head, "I-"
Your attention is stolen when your name is called again. You, as does everyone else, turn to the man who walks into the tent. Daemon knits his brows, gaze lingering on your twin before turning to you. He brings his hands behind him and sighs, "See. I did not kill him. You needn't be so worried, darling."
The pet name makes you feel sick. Erryk clenches his jaw.
"Come," he reaches a hand out to you, "your heart will only heavy with worry if you stay here. There's plenty of space in my tent."
Anger builds in you at his callousness. Gwayne recognizes it and curses under his breath. He watches you intently, noticing the twitch of your face twitches and the very moment you resign yourself to your husband's whim. He stares at his lap, unwilling to witness the bitter tears he knew would come after you take his hand.
Daemon shoots Gwayne a shit-eating grin as he walks out of the tent, but the cunt does not even see it. Still, he is pleased as he brings you to his tent and immediately pours you a cup of wine. The prince freezes when he realizes you had been silently sobbing. You stand there aloof as tears wet your face.
The prince drops the cup he meant to offer you and captures your cheeks. He gazes at you in concern and repeats what he had already said, "I did not kill him."
Your eyes focus as he swipes your cheeks. The coldness in your gaze unnerves him, "you did not have to be so cruel."
He pulls his head back, "cruel?"
You say nothing.
Daemon chuckles dryly, releasing you, "we were both in a tourney," he chuckles again, "girl."
You flinch when he calls you that. Your father's face appears in your head.
The prince is riled up by your silence. His stomach is uneasy by the steady flow of your tears. He scoffs, "your brother lost, but your husband-" he enunciates, "won."
You sniffle and wipe your cheeks, "yes," you offer him a smile, "apologies. Congratulations, my prince."
He stills at your words. He finds no satisfaction in it. His jaw feathers and he scoffs again, "do not congratulate me. I've still others to defeat."
You nod and step forward, "yes," you place your hand on his shoulders, "you are not injured at all, are you?"
It's as though your hands were heating his armour. He flinches when you touch his face. You pull your hands away ready to apologize for the intrusion but then he barks, "I am not feeble like you and your twin."
His anger is familiar. It is no worse than that of your fathers, thus how you sustain your stillness.
Somehow it is worse that you do not react.
Daemon clenches his fists at your blankness, "say something, damn it."
You are taken off-guard by the desperation you discern, "w-what do you want me to say?"
"..."
"..."
"Do you have nothing more to tell me than I am cruel?"
The softness of his voice strikes a fear in you that you have not yet known. Your hands begin to tremble.
In a second, his softness is gone, and he snaps, "if you love that cunt so dearly, you should have married him instead."
You are stoic as Daemon storms off. The prince glares at Erryk, who had been waiting outside his tent the whole time, "get that bitch out of here."
Your ward's face contorts in contempt as your husband walks away. When Erryk makes his way towards you, he is unnerved by your stillness. He reaches for your arm, "princess?"
You turn to him and suddenly, you're laughing.
Goosebumps form underneath Erryk's armor.
"He said I should have married Gwayne instead," you turn to him.
He is tense at your eerily jovial expression. He mutters, "I heard."
"I do not ascribe to the unorthodox ways of his house," you shake your head. You laugh again but tears begin to flow after, "he thinks I'm stupid, doesn't he?"
The man gulps at your words and frowns, "even if he thought your skin was green, it would not make it so."
You laugh, but it is not so unsettling this time.
Erryk leads you out of the tent, "where to, my princess?"
"I... would like to go for a swim."
He takes a moment to think but then nods, "there is a stream that not many know of. We could go there. It is no very far."
As the tourney progresses, Daemon takes out his anger on his opponents. The is no satisfaction in any of his wins however, as each time, the looks over his shoulder to search for your face, and each time he is reminded you are not there.
At some point, he's so distracted that one vermin opponent manages to dismount him. He rages and screams for his sword. His foe grabs a flail. In the end, the prince is overpowered and forced to yield. It takes everything in him not to lunge at the stupid fuck as he walks towards the princess and her friend.
He storms to his tent, unwilling to be attended by anyone. He barks as a trembling squire, "I want my wife."
"S-she left with ser Car-"
Daemon kicks his table down.
"I-I— I will go call for her-"
He groans in pure vexation as he removes his armor. He looks down at himself, finding dirt, bruises, and small cuts on his body. His eyes water, but not in pain. You would clearly spare him no sympathy for his injuries. He did not even win. His breathing grows heavy in anger. It doesn't take long until he is overcome with emotion. Instead of drinking the cup of wine he poured himself, he slams it to the ground then proceeds to raze the other furniture in his tent.
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KIP'S BIG POST OF THINGS TO MAKE THE INTERNET & TECHNOLOGY SUCK A LITTLE LESS
Post last updated November 23, 2024. Will continue to update!
Here are my favorite things to use to navigate technology my own way:
A refurbished iPod loaded with Rockbox OS (Rockbox is free, iPods range in price. I linked the site I got mine from. Note that iPods get finicky about syncing and the kind of cord it has— it may still charge but might not recognize the device to sync. Getting an original Apple cord sometimes helps). Rockbox has ports for other MP3 players as well.
This Windows debloater program (there are viable alternatives out there, this one works for me). It has a powershell script that give you a little UI and buttons to press, which I appreciate, as I'm still a bit shy with tech.
Firefox with the following extensions: - Consent-O-Matic (set your responses to ALL privacy/cookie pop-ups in the extension, and it will answer all pop-ups for you. I can see reasons to not use it, but I appreciate it) - Facebook Container ("contains" Meta on Facebook and Instagram pages to keep it from tracking you or getting third party cookies, since Meta is fairly egregious about it) - Redirect Amp to HTML (AMP is designed for mobile phones, this forces pages to go to their HTML version) - A WebP/AVIF image converter - uBlock Origin and uBlacklist, with the AI blacklist loaded in to kill any generative AI results from appearing in search engines or anywhere.
Handbrake for ripping DVDs— I haven’t used this in awhile as I haven’t been making video edits. I used this back when I had a Mac OS
VLC Media Player (ol’ reliable)
Unsplash & Pexels for free-to-use images
A password manager (these often are paid. I use Dashlane. There are many options, feel free to search around and ask for recs!). There is a lot that goes into cybersecurity— find the option you feel is best for you.
Things I suggest:
Understanding Royalty Free and the Creative Commons licenses
Familiarity with boolean operators for searching
Investing in a backup drive and external drive
A few good USBs, including one that has a backup of your OS on it
Adapter cables
Avoiding Fandom “wikias” (as in the brand “Fandom”) and supporting other, fan-run or supported wikis. Consider contributing if its something you find yourself passionate or joyful about.
Finding Forums for the things you like, or creating your own*
Create an email specifically for ads/shopping— use it to receive all promotional emails to keep your inbox clean. Upkeep it.
Stop putting so much of your personal information online— be willing to separate your personal online identity from your “online identity”. You don’t owe people your name, location, pronouns, diagnoses, or any of that. It’s your choice, but be discerning in what you give and why. I recommend avoiding providing your phone number to sites as much as possible.
Be intentional
Ask questions
Talk to people
Remember that you can lurk all you want
Things that are fun to check out:
BBSes-- here's a portal to access them.
Neocities
*Forums-- find some to join, or maybe host your own? The system I was most familiar with was vbulletin.
MMM.page
Things that have worked well for me but might work for you, YMMV:
Limit your app usage time on your smartphone if you’re prone to going back to them— this is a tangible way to “practice mindfulness”, a term I find frustratingly vague ansjdbdj
Things I’m looking into:
The “Pi Hole”— a raspberry pi set up to block all ads on a specific internet connection
VPNs-- this is one that was recommended to me.
How to use computers (I mean it): Resources on how to understand your machine and what you’re doing, even if your skill and knowledge level is currently 0:
This section I'll come back an add to. I know that messing with computers can be intimidating, especially if you feel out of your depth. HTML and regedits and especially things like dualbooting or linux feel impossible. So I want to put things here that explain exactly how the internet and your computer functions, and how you can learn and work with that. Yippee!
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let's talk about project 2025 and smut.
bc I've seen some of my favorite authors already state they aren't writing any more smut due to the mere threat of project 2025 going into effect. And hey, I'm a simple person who likes to read abt sexy times.
pls read through all the way and share if ya like any of what i wrote here - i don't want panic to be spreading through the writers of tumblr/ao3 like wildfire unchecked.
qualifications: BA in political science focusing on domestic policy, activism and ethnic studies.
Part I - what is it?
project 2025 at its core is a roadmap. it was created by the Heritage Foundation (an extremely far right disgusting think tank), and plenty of people associated with the previous and incoming Trump presidency. its like 900 pages of alt-right, christian nationalist bullshit.
but its not uncommon.
think tanks like the Heritage Foundation often create roadmaps like this to plot out what they would most want to see in a future presidency or period of political control. it isn't even particular to right-wing think tanks; left wing ones do it too! the difference in this case is the magnitude and attention paid to the manifesto.
the heritage foundation is a vast organization with a lot of money, and has had a part in US politics for a long ass time now. because of this, what they say/do carries a bit more weight. combined with the fact that dems in the past election used project 2025 as a common refrain (instead of like, developing their own policy but whatevs), you get a general public who is aware of the buzzword "project 2025" but not knowledgeable about what it contains.
what it does actually include is certainly worrying, but among the new freaky shit is a ton of stuff that has been on the republican party's to do list since day one, like dismantling the department of education. just reading that seems really shocking, i know, but if you look back to when the department was created, you will find evidence of republicans trying desperately to dismantle it.
i find the media flurry around project 2025 to be a bit concerning, because while i understand dems wanting to show voters how dangerous this shit can be, its also made it into something far more important than it could actually be. as i stated earlier, these types of policy blueprints are extremely common among think tanks. its like their entire job!! and yes, this one is scarier and more visible than others, but it
a.) isn't the official policy of the incoming admin (and if you look at their actual policy statement, its very clear they don't rly have policies, so who knows what that's gonna look like)
b.) isn't united states federal law
Part II - what's it gonna look like?
i'm not gonna sit here and say you shouldn't be worried about project 2025, bc a lot of whats in it is freaky asf. but that freakiness is what (in my opinion) will be its primary challenge. since its so out there, the extreme right wing republicans are going to have to work their asses off to get the votes they need to pass these things.
which brings me to another point-- project 2025 is a whole list of proposals. its not like republicans can put forth one bill that has the entirety of project 2025 in it and pass it all at once. for a whole laundry list of reasons, that's not possible. the process of getting one bill passed through the house and senate is an excruciatingly long one, and doing this process for 900 pages worth of plans ain't gonna be easy.
i should mention that donald trump has yet to endorse the plan as his own, so there's the real possibility that he wont even want to implement any of the ideas included. i could 100% see him ignoring the entire plan because he doesn't like that someone else came up with it tbh. and while i don't believe he has never heard of the heritage foundation, as he has claimed in the past, i think it is important to note that there hasn't been any confirmation from him that project 2025 is his roadmap.
the plan includes rollbacks of rights for every minority group possible, restrictions on immigration, access to morning-after pills, restructuring of the federal government to allow for easier hiring and firing based on little/no evidence, etc. all in all, not great.
but again, project 2025 isn't united states federal law
Part III - what does it mean for fanfic authors?
the section that has the fanfic-consuming/creating world in a tizzy is the bit about outlawing pornography. this is a concerning policy propsal, but not because of possible fanfic bans. rather, bc project 2025 and the heritage foundation at large sees queerness as inherently and exclusively sexual.
"pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children" (The Heritage Foundation, p.5)
thus, if they ban pornography (with a definition that includes/focuses on queerness), they can effectively ban expressions of queerness in the united states.
that shit is scary. and while i never want to rely on foundational documents when the people interpreting those documents (court justices (esp those appointed by the previous and incoming trump admin)), i will hesitantly say that this is gonna be a tough sell. both from a constitutional standpoint, and from a broad base support standpoint.
for the first of the two points, arguing that the first amendment doesn't "apply" to something is always a slippery slope, and defending that point is extraordinarily difficult. obviously this isnt always the case, but especially relating to pornography and obscenity, proving that a work fails the Miller test (a three part test created in Miller v. California (1973) to determine if something is obscene or not) is, like, really hard (heh).*
while the miller test is precedent for specific cases that come up in the court system, if some version of the porn ban goes into effect, the US court system is going to be dealing with challenges from every state, every form of media, every fandom.
which brings me to the second point. broad base support.
while the headline about Grindr crashing in Milwaukee during the RNC wasn't true in 2024, republican events in previous have brought an influx in users to the area in which the events are held if ya know what i'm sayin👀
on a real note though, getting a pornography ban passed in the united states would be exceedingly hard (no pun intended). especially one that includes forms of media like written pornography, not just visual. in terms of feasibility, a ban on video pornography is incrementally more likely than one on all forms of pornography. arguments against porn are weak at best, and the anti-porn movement in the US (usually religious) has been trying, and failing, for decades to ban pornography. most content about porn bans also refers primarily to video-based porn, not written smut.
let's just say worst case scenario something like this does go into action. anything you've written before the law goes into action cannot be used as a way to prosecute you. that would be an example of ex post facto punishment, which is explicitly prohibited in the constitution and by court precedent.
*note: i'm not endorsing the way the US court precedents around porn/obscenity look, as they are another symptom of purity culture and anti-sex culture created in the US
Part IV - what do we do?
well, giving up before a bill has even been proposed ain't it. it makes me deeply sad to see so many writers saying they wont be writing smut anymore because of the vague possibility of this plan. not only does it make me sad, it makes me angry. because that means people have seen so much misinformation about what project 2025 is and how it works that they are too scared to do anything about it. let me repeat again.
project 2025 is not law in the united states of america, nor is it in the process of becoming so. act accordingly.
so go forth, write smut, be gay, do some shit to make the heritage foundation angry today. and don't give up before the battle has even started. bc that's how they win. and i know shit seems really scary, but community and mutual aid is how we are gonna make it through this, so do your due diligence and research what you're scared about! knowledge is power and you gotta wield that sh*t.
i'd like to end with a quote from Timothy Snyder, who everyone and their mother has been quoting recently, but i still think it has value.
"Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do. Anticipatory obedience is a political tragedy." (Excerpted from On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder, 2017)
[Note - i have cited sources where appropriate, but this is also based on my (important to note, informed) opinion. please treat it as such, thank you]
#writeblr#fanfic writers#ao3#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#smut#smut fanfiction#smut writing#know your rights#queer community#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#smut writers of tumblr#fanfiction#fanfic authors#fanfic writers ily
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P.AI.nter is SUCH an interesting character to me... he's probably become one of my all time favorites, as I haven't fixated on a character this hard since since...TMC. It physically hurts to think about it in the best way possible-
That being said, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS to say about 'em... so I'm going to dump them here.
First and formost, it's so interesting that P.AI.nter has such a wide array of emotions when it comes to attacking and interacting with the Expendables. At first it's strange, like "WTF?? You're trying to kill me and you just yelled how I was boring, wdym you're sorry??" But... knowing his lore and backstory, it makes so much sense.
P.AI.nters creator was gunned down on accident by Urbanshade, which upon the discovery of P.AI.nter, then decided to trap him in a harddrive and make it mine whats essenically crypto at the Hadal Site- For years, it's stuck mining for the company unwillingly, unable to draw the lanscapes it loved. For fucks sake, P.AI.nter tried to FRY HIS CIRCUTS just to get out. He's desprate, miserable and lonely, and just wants to escape- Any way possible.
And so when Sebastian comes reeks his havoc on the site and finds it, P.AI.nter is incredibly trusting of him to get them both out. Maybe alittle too trusting, but whats he got left to loose? They've both been used by the company and want nothing more to leave, leave and never return. So when Sebastian connects it to the servers- to the Navi-Path & Turrets and tells him to stop the Expendables, P.AI.nter does.
However.
This is self preservation down here. P.AI.nter of course, is rightfully angry at times. I mean- The same company that killed it's creator before his very (nonexistant) eyes, trapped it down here, and even sucked the joy he has from creating art away is now actively getting in the way of the freedom he yearns for. But at the same time... this isn't something done that it entirely wants to be doing. Like I said. This is self preservation. And his actions, and even your deaths weigh heavy. Theres a voiceline, and its delievered so well- Of P.AI.nter pleading for the player to wake up and apologizing profusely if it kills you.
That line sparked this whole theory in the first place.
Your death, reminds it of his creator.
Isn't it ironic how it's now manning the very same weapon that killed the one who brought him sentience in the first place? That he's now the one at fault? Thats gotta be on the back of his mind each and every time it leads an expendable to their demise.
This isn't personal.
He doesn't know who you are.
But it still hurts.
It really annoys me when people in the community call P.AI.nter two faced, or god forbid, do the shitty thing of saying in a derogatory manner that he's bipolar or such as a "joke". Thats just disrespectful to both the character and folks who do have it. It's just plain rude. People do something similar for Sebastian, saying that oh, they're ruining his character by making him mean and snarky and whatnot. I know this happens in every fandom out there, and that this rant is fruitless, but... people need to understand that characters like P.AI.nter and Sebastian have reasons behind their actions and have existing trauma that if you take a moment to look at, you can go "Wowie! Thats a complex character! Everything makes so much sense now, like a puzzle peice I can see traces of in their character in almost every aspect!" Rather than doing awful things like I brought up at the start. But... I digress. I know this rant wont change much so. I hope y'all enjoyed my mini character analysis
Anyway this video has all of P.AI.nters voicelines if 'ya wanna go have a listen after this :] also I got plenty more thoughts about P.AI.nter and Sebastian if anyone wants to know!
youtube
#pressure#roblox pressure#p.ai.nter pressure#P.ai.nter#Rant#character analysis#sebastian solace#<- ? I guess because the rant mentioned him lol but.#Youtube
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There are good things in this world still
Today, I harvested a bundle of parsley from my garden. Alongside of the strawberries, it is the last thing still growing green, despite the cold. I only harvested around the outer edge, from the stalks that were starting to droop, and trimming those off revealed a wealth of fresh stalks that will now have room to grow before winter truly sets in. I planted parsley this year because I have been making stock from my use fowl carcasses, and wanted to try to grow some of the ingredients here myself. I also planted some garlic bulbs and carrot tops, which may or may not have ultimately taken- I knew I wouldn't get either from them this year or anything, but if the plants could take root in the soil, then maybe next year I won't have to buy (as much) garlic or carrots for stock making. Potatoes and onions are next. You might wonder how much stock one person uses, but Sark makes a lot of rice dishes he uses stock for, and I make soups, stews, and sometimes even add a cube while cooking pasta for extra flavor. It's small, it's just a few little plants that had a hell of a time getting started this summer, but holding a thick bundle of stalks in my hand and knowing I've taken one step closer to growing some of my own food needs feels great.
There are good things left in the world, however big or small. This is your invitation to reblog this and share your good things with each other, or check the notes if you need a reminder.
As an addendum today, if you are feeling like you don't have good things to share, consider making some good things for yourself tomorrow (or today, if there's still time!)- take a bath and use the favorite soap scent or bath bomb or whatever you've been saving for a special occasion, eat a treat or make a favorite meal, clean something you've been putting off, call or message or meet up with a friend you haven't seen in a bit to regain that community connection, snuggle your pet or loved one, look up photos of your favorite interest (animals, technology, architecture, travel destination, whatever it is!), watch a favorite movie you haven't seen in a while, take a walk around a park or community attraction, visit the library and see if there are clubs or meetings or events you may want to attend or just pull a book off the shelf and read for a bit. There are good things, there are still so many good things, you just have to reach out and touch them to remember they are there.
#good things#one day at a time#Today is Day 17#There are 1504 days left#I've started scheduling these posts so I won't miss a day again
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1. Rick for sure, I like everyone in the family tho ! My favorite specific Rick's are Toxic(because he's awful and very very short sighted, idk i just think he's interesting in a sopping wet pathetic way.) and Flesh Curtains era(because let's be real how am I going to look at a 30 something grungey drunk and not be obsessed. thats like, some of my favorite people irl.)
2. I don't think it matters! Probably space beth, but eh 🤷♀️
3. No not canonically. I think it'd be really fun tho and I like all the theories. Ricks do mess around tho, hes a horndog and the citadel exists, a huge conglomeration of Him, i think it happens more often then it seems to.
4. Tilda. I will not elaborate.
5. Errh idk! A lot i guess. Theyve said before they want the like, classic adult cartoon run time(think futurama, family guy, simpsons), so as many seasons as humanly possible if the writers get their way. I think they step on their own toes a little since they seem to toggle between wanting to be an episodic sitcom, but ALSO a serial scifi thriller. I dont think theyve done badly in that regard so far, but theres absolutely aspects of both that are suffering because of the other's presence.(plot inconsistencies n that kinda thing.)
6. Smash, it would be a bad decision for both of us, but itd be fun !
7. Does the galactic federation count? Probably not since its an organization, but for sure that one. Super interesting stuff u can do with space bureaucracy(bc im boring) and state-sponsored violence. But as for an individual, I really really like Beths mytholog, that whole concept is really cool, and her design is hella badass lol. Also i guess Toxic Rick is a villain too !
8. oof I've tried to figure this out and i dont think i can narrow it down, but i really like Rattlestar Ricklactica, Vat of Acid, and a Rickle in Time.
9. uhh idk the one with the giant incest baby? I didn't enjoy Story Train either tbh. I don't think any of the episodes are like, unwatchably bad, but theres absolutely a few I skip when i rewatch the show.
10. I don't care about story lord like, at all. hes just. deeply uninteresting. Not a huge fan of Mr. Poopybutthole, but i think i just thought we were reminded of him too often.(i liked the intervention episode well enough tho)
11. Oh man this is hard to answer cuz hes just done So Much. Like, guys a shithead. The reckless disregard for innocent bystanders is pretty bad. I think it sucks when he orchestrates situations in which morty has to lethally defend himself, and then totally disregards his feelings(which is literally all the time lmfao). like, the kids 14. His casual manipulation of Beth is super fucked, cuz he knows how much he means to her and he exploits that. yeah idk, guys just a pos all around lol
12. Dated question, luckily no! I think the new voice actors are great :3
13. All the rnm blogs i follow are badass as hell. idk how to pick ill prob edit this l8r
14. Can I say rick without sounding like a total loser. mentally ill, substance abuse issues, ruled entirely by emotions, hedonistic while paradoxically engaging in self-harm/hatred. nihilistic(silly flavor). freaked out by commitment/attachment. the party friend(as opposed to someone you invite for brunch or to meet ur parents). also science is cool.
15. the entire "...couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle, next time stay in the fucking car!" monologue. and the "a vat of fake acid are you Dying of Dementia?!" fight.
16. i havent finished my brackets yet ill get back to you.
17. same as above.
18. man idk probably. i dont actually watch it in a way that supports them(financially) anyway, but that would suck balls cuz its a fixation of mine.
19. done to death probably but mortys "come watch tv?" quote is my fave. it reads to me as incredibly reassuring. optimistic nihilism. like, "nothing means anything, nothings a big deal, lets chill and enjoy it while we can." ya know? like dying is the same as before you were born, and Everyones gonna do it, but we're here together right now, so lets eat pasta and get a little drunk.
20. i know hes doing his own thing but can i be snowball. hes cool and empathetic and capable of growth, also i wanna see how the dog utopia is going.
20 SHORT-ANSWER* RICK AND MORTY QUESTIONS FOR YOU:
*You can write long answers, if you'd like! Feel free to skip questions, too!
Who is your favourite Rick and Morty Character?
Which Beth is the clone: Domestic Beth or Space Beth?
Do you think that Rick-C137 and Rick Prime were previously romantically involved?
What do you think would be a good name for Birdperson and Tammy's daughter?
How many seasons do you think Rick and Morty will eventually have?
Rick C-137: smash or pass?
Who is your favourite Rick and Morty villain?
Your favourite Rick and Morty episode?
Your least favourite Rick and Morty episode?
Who is your least favourite Rick and Morty character?
What is, in your opinion, the worst thing that Rick C-137 has ever done?
Do you think that Rick and Morty will be affected substantially by having to change the voice actor for Rick and Morty and a bunch of other characters?
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Funny How Times Flies | 4
terry richmond x black, fem!/plus size reader
summary: you and terry make the best of the end of the trip and promise to make time for each other despite being a short distance apart but you begin to have doubts.
warnings: fluff, angst, panic attack, short long-distance relationship, misunderstanding, first-ever argument, jealousy & possessive! terry, explicit smut (18+), fingering, handcuffing, breeding kink, dom/sub, unprotected sex, dirty talking, nicknames (baby, baby girl), words: (5k)
note: i really love how this chapter came out; it might be my favorite. please enjoy! Let me know your thoughts and if you want to be tagged in future parts.
series masterlist
-
You haven't been this happy and at ease in a very long time. This trip has been so excellent, and you’ve had so much fun with your friends, especially with Terry.
Today was the last day, and sadly, all of you had to leave tomorrow morning. Terry wanted this last day to be just the two of you, so first he surprised you with breakfast in bed.
"Good Morning, beautiful," Terry says, placing the tray in front of you and giving you a quick peck before grabbing his plate and sitting on the end of the bed.
You laughed at how cheerful he sounded. “Good morning, handsome!” You responded with a smile and grabbed the fruit bowl first.
"How did you sleep? I bet you slept hella good huh?," He teased with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at him, knowing what he was hinting at.
"I slept amazing, Terry, but I can’t walk now 'cause you had to do that thing," You said, eating out of the fruit bowl; you picked a strawberry and fed it to him, which he gladly took in his mouth.
"Thank you," Terry said, chewing the strawberry down before adding, "You mean the thing you were begging me for?" He asked with a chuckle, and you looked at him as he tilted his head towards you with a smile that caused your heart to flutter.
“Whatever!” You said, sticking your tongue out at him playfully, making him scoff, jump on you, and tickle your side. You bursted out of laughter, trying to push his hands away. “Terry, oh my god, stop.”
He continued to tickle
“That’s what I thought,” Terry stops, looking down at you with those pretty eyes of his. He was staring at you with this affection that made you feel shy. ”God, I love you,” He said, and your eyes widened, realizing what he was saying, and his eyes widened too.
He cleared his throat, moving off of you. “Uh…this breakfast is good,” Terry said, looking away from you. You sat up, sharing through his eyes as he went to talk about something, and you just went on with it to not make it awkward.
After breakfast, both of you got dressed and left the villa. You and Terry walked hand in hand and visited a few gift shops before finding yourselves in a taco restaurant and eating the best tacos you had.
Soon leaving there, you couldn’t help to ask. "So where are we going now?"
Terry shook his head and couldn't help but chuckle, finding your excitement adorable. "I thought we checked out one of the cenotes since we didn't get to go to one in Valladolid!"
"Terry, really???!!!" You asked, hugging his arm tightly, looking up at him with those big warm eyes of yours.
“Yeah, the van is waiting for us,” he said, motioning to the van crossing the street. You grabbed Terry’s hand and dragged him to the van.
The ride was filled with laughter and upbeat Latin music as the car meandered through vibrant landscapes beneath the top of towering trees.
Upon arrival, a guide escorted you to a location where you could change and securely store your belongings. You and Terry changed into swimwear before meeting a woman who assisted with lifeguard sizing.
The lifeguards fit snugly, ensuring your safety as you prepare to explore the cenote's inviting waters. The guide gave you a brief overview of the cenote's history and unique features, adding to the sense of wonder.
As you look at the water, you feel excitement and peace, the beauty of the place enveloping you like a warm embrace.
“Terry, this is truly breathtaking. Thank you!” you exclaimed, giving him a kiss on the lips.
“Anything for you, baby,” he responded. “Come on, let’s go for a swim.” He added, and you stopped him for a second, feeling yourself get a little panicked.
Terry could tell immediately by how your hand began to tremble in his. You didn't hear what he said; it was all muffled as you realized that you might be terrified of large bodies of water.
Your knees slightly knocked as you stared into the water as another couple jumped in with no problem. You started shaking your head and feeling yourself get worked up.
Terry grabbed your shoulders and told you to sit down. You tried to suppress your trembling, but you were failing, so he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
"Hey, hey, hey, baby…just take deep breaths." He instructed, and you did what you were told, closed your eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths.
"There you go…do you still want to do this?" Terry asked, cupping your cheek as your trembling turned to slowly fade away with his soft touch.
"Yes, let’s…let's do it," you said with another deep breath, and he took hold of your hand and walked you towards the edge of the water.
You and Terry slowly got in, feeling the refreshing and invigorating cool water. You were captivated by the vibrant marine life and the beautiful rock formations hidden beneath the surface.
“Thank you,” you said, leaning back against Terry. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, the gentle rhythm of his breath matching the soothing lapping of the water.
“No need to thank me, baby. I’m always here if you need me,” Terry said, kissing your forehead, causing you to smile happily at the words he used, it was similar to what you told him.
“Look at those fish,” you said, pointing at a flash of color that darted past. “They’re like little jewels swimming through the water.” You added.
Terry chuckled, his laughter rich and warm, sending a thrill through you. He said, “Just like us, right? A couple of precious finds in this hidden paradise.”
Your eyes met, and the world around you faded at that moment. “You’re definitely a treasure,” you whispered, your voice barely above the sound of the water.
Terry turned slightly, brushing a braid behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your dark-brown skin.
“And you’re the most beautiful part of this place,” he replied softly. The sincerity in his voice made your heart race, a flutter of excitement igniting in your chest.
“You know, um, I meant what I said earlier…I do love you…I know it’s too soon to say it, but I feel it in my bones, and I know I do,” Terry said, his voice a soft murmur.
Your eyes sparkled, searching through his eyes, and there was truth behind him, a sincere expression on his face. He loved you, and you felt it grow with every intimate moment togather.
You loved him too, but you were a little scared to say it out loud, so you just said, “I know, Terry…..I don’t want this to end; I don’t want to return to the real world…"
You trailed off for a second, looking away. "And this feeling will change,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability creeping into your voice.
“Baby, I promise this feeling I have for you won't change. We'll make time for each other and create our own moments that we can cherish forever; we just gotta try and give it a chance” Terry suggested, his thumb brushing against your cheek.
Your heart swelled at his choice of words, and you nodded, a smile blooming on your lips, sealing the promise with a soft kiss. In that perfect moment, surrounded by cenotes' beauty, you hoped you two kept the promise.
-
The shift back home wasn’t easy. The first week without Terry was tough, but he called you almost daily and facetime you sometimes at night.
The two of you lived in Louisiana, but you lived in Lafayette, and he lived close to New Orleans was about two hours away from each other.
Terry texted you one day that he was driving down to visit you for the weekend, and you were beyond excited. When you heard the doorbell ring, you rushed to the front door.
You practically swung the door open, and there Terry stood, looking so damn fine in a baseball cap, hoodie with sweatpants. His voice was like music to your ears when he said, "Hey, baby,"
You dragged him in with his suitcases before closing the door and jumping into his arms. His arms wrapped around your waist tightly, not letting you go.
You felt him burying his face into your neck for a second before placing soft kisses on it, bringing butterflies to your stomach. You both stood there, holding each other for a few minutes,
Terry moves from your neck to kiss you softly. You place your hand on the back of his neck, and his tongue begins dancing against you, causing you to let out a light moan.
"Fuck. I missed you," He says, pulling away, resting his forehead against yours while staring into your eyes with a mixture of warmth and love.
"I missed you too, Terry," you said with a smile before slightly pulling away from his embrace, taking his hand, and guiding him to the table in your dining room.
"I made your favorite," he looked at the table and then back at you with a smile. At this very moment, Terry was happy to be here with you for a little bit.
Shortly after eating dinner, chatting, and enjoying each other's company, you were both in the living room, cuddling while watching a movie.
Clearly, neither of you was watching. "Terry, stop," you giggled, moving his hand away from the inside of your shirt. As much as you wanted him to take you, you love being a tease.
"Watch the movie," you said, pointing to the TV. He paused, removed his hands away from you, and crossed his arms while staring at you with a look.
"Don't make that face," you said, looking over at him. Wrapping your arm around his shoulder, you began playing with his ear, causing him to smack his teeth.
"Why shouldn't I? I haven't seen you in weeks. I miss you and want to show you how much I do. I know you do, too," Terry said, giving you a knowing look.
You smiled, didn't say anything, and just rearranged yourself onto his lap and pulled him into a needy, passionate kiss. You pulled away for a second to take your shirt off.
Terry growls at the sight of your breasts; he's very weak. He caresses your body with his soft, large hands while leaving soft kisses on your neck.
His hands moved down your ass and squeezed it harshly before pulling you back into a kiss. Both of you stood from the couch and began to tear each other's clothes off.
You both feeling so aroused and craving for each other. Terry lifted you up, carrying your bridal style, and asked. "Where is your bedroom?"
"It's right around the corner," you said, helping him with the direction. He opened the door and glanced around your cozy bedroom before gently laying you on your bed.
Terry hovered over you and began kissing up your body; you could feel his throbbing, erect dick pressing against your leg. "Terry, please, no teasing. I need you now,"
You moaned as he began to kiss your wet folds. He looked up at you, seeing the need in your eyes. "Of course, my baby needs me." He nodded with a smirk, kissing his way back to your lips.
Terry positioned himself between your legs, and you moaned, wrapping your legs around his hips as you felt him thrusted forward, fulling you up good.
The very good feeling of his dick sliding into your wet pussy almost sent you over the edge. Without warning, Terry began pounding into you, making you grip his back.
Terry lowers his lips to yours and kisses you hungrily while still pounding into you with an unimaginable speed. He bites your shoulder and lets out a muffled moan.
He pulls away to look at you as you let out a moan, feeling yourself clench around his dick already. It was all so good, and desperately wanted to last.
"Ahh, fuck. I miss you, baby; I miss this pussy so much," Terry moans, rearranging the sex position to missionary to the lotus. He lifted you into his arms as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
"Fuck, fuck fuck me, Terry," You moaned, throwing your head back as you felt the undeniable, great pleasure that both of you were giving to each other.
The rocking rhythm of it all and the deep connection were sensational. Your moans were so loud together that you swear you were next-door neighbors who could hear the two of you.
You placed your forehead against Terry's, both of you panting heavily, looking into his beautiful, light eyes as his fast pounding drove you crazy.
"Ahh Yes, Terry. Fuck, I love you; I love this dick," You moaned, feeling your body begin to flutter as you felt yourself get closer to the edge of orgasm.
"You love me, huh?" Terry asked, pulling your hair sightly. You nodded shyly, not realizing you had blurted it out, and felt slightly nervous to repeat it.
"Come on, baby, let me hear you say it again," Terry said, tugging your hair again but a little harder than before, causing you to whimper in pleasure.
"I love you…I love you…I love you, Terry," you chanted loudly with every thrusted he gave you until he kissed you passionately, feeling satisfied.
"Mmm...I fucking love you too, baby so damn much." He moaned, grabbed your shoulders, and you moaned, burying your face into his neck.
Terry pounding harder and faster to the point both of you orgasm together. Both of you screamed each other's names as your bodies shook from the high.
Terry tries to stay steady and hold you but eventually falls on top of you towards the bed. After a few breaths, Terry pulls out, watching his cum dripping before cleaning you up.
He lays down next to you, caressing your cheek with his hand before Terry pulls you into his chest, hearing you mumbling something and you close your eyes and fall asleep from the good dick you just had.
The following morning, the sunlight shone through the blinds, casting on your glowing dark-brown skin, and Terry couldn't help but admire your beauty.
Your silk-pressed hair was sweated, your lips were open, and a little snore came from your mouth. He couldn't help but caress your cheek, lingering on your neck.
Terry smiled happily as you started to stir, slightly mumbling some under your breath as you stretched out your limbs before cuddling back into his chest.
Your eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks before they opened, revealing your warm eyes. You looked up at Terry with a slight smile, who was staring at you.
"You know it's not nice to stare," You said, yawning as his eyes sparkled with the light seeping in from the cracked blind. "I know I can't help it, you're so beautiful"
You felt your heart flutter; it was wonderful how this man affected you so strongly. "Good morning, baby," he added.
"Morning!" you said, yawning again. Terry smiled, but slowly, that smile turned into a frown. You were about to get out of bed, and he stopped you.
"Where do you think you're going?!" Terry asked, pulling you back into the bed, causing you to giggle. "To start my morning routine and shower if that's okay with you, handsome."
"Yeah, but only if I join," He said, kissing the sweet spot on your neck, causing you to let out a small moan.
"Mmm, okay, but you gotta catch me," You said playfully, rushing off the bed.
"Hey," Terry growled, jumping out of bed. You giggled as you ran into the bathroom; right behind you was him.
You and Terry had a fantastic weekend and continued to have those weekends, but as a few months went by, you two still made time for each other, working around strict job schedules.
You slowly felt this wouldn’t work out and began to distance yourself. Terry immediately noticed you weren’t answering his calls or texts like you used to.
You always give him a rundown of your day, morning to night, ask about him, make sure he's doing well, ask about his work, and try to plan another weekend to see each other.
“Hey, boss, everything alright?” One of his employees approached Terry with a concerned look on his face.
He nodded and said, “Yeah, you think you can hold down the restaurant for me? I got sort of an emergency”
“Sure thing, I got you. Go handle your business” Marcus nodded, giving him a dap and reassuring expression.
“Thanks, Marcus!” Terry said, grabbing his jacket and keys. He was so worried that he was on his way to Lafayette to see you and figure out what was wrong because he didn’t like this distance from you.
Meanwhile, you were just getting off work, checking your phone, and seeing multiple notifications from Terry. You sighed and ignored them.
You grabbed your bag and phone and went to look for an Uber on it since your car was in the shop until the next day. You were almost out of the door until you heard a familiar voice call your name.
“Hey, we’re going to get some drinks, you should come” Quentin said, walking alongside you and you weren’t gonna lie before you went on this trip and met Terry.
You had a slight crush on Quentin. I mean, he was a fine, brown-skinned brother with charm. You were surprised he was even talking to you.
You guessed that after coming back from the trip, you had this new glow that attracted more people. You were less shy and introverted and more talkative and open to others.
“Oh come on, it would be fun,” He said, and you thought about it for second looking into his brown eyes. “Okay, I’ll go, only because my car is in the shop and I need a ride home”
“Well, I’m your guy,” he said charmingly. You, Quentin, and a few other co-workers went to a bar and had a great time. Quentin made sure you went home, and you and the two were laughing.
Quentin walked you to your front door, not noticing the car in your driveway. Terry was watching the whole thing. He texted you earlier that he was here, but you didn't answer.
So he was just waiting for you to come home, and now seeing you and this guy, he thought the worst. However, he tried to keep a level head and not jump to conclusions.
“Thanks for inviting me and giving me a ride, Q. I had a lot fun” You said, turning towards him with a friendly smile.
“Of course, anytime. Um…I was wondering if…” He started, getting this look in his eyes, and you knew where this was going, so you stopped him quickly.
“I have a boyfriend,” You said shyly, looking away for a second, then back at him. He looked slightly disappointed but changed his expression fast.
“Oh, shit…of course you do, beautiful woman like had to be taken sorry,” Quentin said, and you were about to say something until you heard a car door open and closed loudly.
“What the hell is going on here?” A familiar voice came out. You and Quentin turned your head, and Terry came up from his car. You didn't notice it in the driveway.
Your heart began racing, and you felt slightly scared, not for yourself but for Quentin; you had not seen this level of fire and possessiveness in Terry's eyes until now.
It was hot and scary at the same time. Terry approached your side, wrapped his hand tightly around your waist, and saw a look at Quentin.
“Uh…Quentin, this is my boyfriend, Terry, and Terry…” You started clearing your throat before you could finish your sentence. Terry cut you off and said, “I don’t give a fuck. Who is he? Why is he here?”
“My brother….was just.” Quentin began but Terry didn’t let him finish.
“I ain’t yo brother, I don’t fucking know you” Terry said, raising his voice a little bit and you placed your hand on his chest to calm him down while looking up at him.
“Terry, relax. Quentin is my coworker. Me, Him, and some of my other coworkers went out for drinks. He was just making sure I was getting home safe,” you explained, trying to reassure Terry, but the tension in his posture was still firm.
“Look…Ima go, I’ll see ya at work,” Quentin said to you before rushing off to get in his car and drive away fast. You scoffed, feeling slightly embarrassed.
You got your keys out, opened the front door, and looked at Terry, motioning him to get inside. Terry bit his bottom lip, looking away, before walking into the house, with you following him behind.
You closed the door, locked it, and placed your bag on the side table. “What was that, and what are you doing here?” You asked, following Terry into your living room and watching him go sit on the couch.
"Nah, I don’t think I need to explain myself. What’s up with you and the old boy?" he replied, folding his arms and looking at you.
"Terry…like I said, Quentin is just my co-worker, nothing more or less. You think I can't talk to other men just because I'm with you? Even when It’s just an innocent conversation!" you shot back, frustrated.
"It didn’t look like just an innocent conversation to me," Terry said defensively. "You were smiling at him like you wanted him or something."
"Don't make this into something it’s not, Terry," you said, calm but firm as you took your shoes off. "I was just being friendly and thanking him, that’s all."
"Friendly? You were practically fucking flirting with him!" Terry shot back, his expression tightening.
"Flirting? Is that what you call it? I was just being polite! You're being fucking ridiculous right now, Terry," you countered, crossing your arms in frustration.
Terry shook his head. "I don’t want you to talk to “Quentin” again. He was clearly interested, and he wanted something from you."
You sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. "Terry, I'm allowed to talk to people, especially my co-workers, man or woman. Plus, I made it clear to Quentin before you jumped out of your car and acted all possessive and shit….I told him that I have a boyfriend."
“I don’t want him or anyone else. I want you, Terry,” You added, moving towards him, and Terry's expression softened with a flicker of remorse.
“I’m sorry, baby, but I just….these past few days, you’ve been distant, not answering my calls or texts, and I needed to see you. When I saw you with Quentin, I don’t know; I just thought the worst and saw red, " he expressed.
You took a breath and grabbed hold of his hand before next to him on the couch. “I’m sorry too, Terry. I should’ve answered your calls and texts…I guess I’m still trying to work on my communication.”
“Hey, it’s okay," he started, looking at you softly. "Do you really drive two hours to come to see me?" You asked with a slight smile.
"Yeah, I was worried, baby. Whatever it is that's going on, I need you to know that I'm here to listen and that you don't have to shut me out. ” Terry said softly, kissing your hand, making your heart flutter.
“I thought this short long-distance relationship would work, but I’ve been doubting. I'm gonna be honest, Terry..." You paused for a second, looking away before back at him.
You added, "I can’t keep up with us driving two hours back and forth to see each other; I want you close and right by my side."
Terry took a breath and nodded before speaking. “I understand, baby and I can't either. So it got me thinking, and I've decided to move here and be here with you”
Your eyes almost bugged out. “What? No, I can’t let you do that, Terry. You gotta think this through…" You paused, searching his eyes, and you see he had made his mind up.
"My mind is made up," Terry said with a smile. "But your whole family lives in New Orleans, and your job, the restaurant. You would really give that up for me?” You asked, shaking your head.
“Yeah, it’s worth it because I want to be where you are, the woman I’m madly in love with." He starts caressing your cheek with his soft hand.
"I don’t want to lose you, baby. You are the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. I’m not letting you go so easy,” Terry added.
His eyes locked onto yours, a fierce determination lighting them. You held his gaze, feeling everything else fade away as tears of happiness came down your face. "Okay, Terry."
"Okay, good!" he said, his voice low, filled with love and devotion that sent shivers down your spine.
"I missed you, you know that?" Terry said, pressing his forehead against yours and you nodded.
"I missed you too, Terry, so damn much!" You cried, and he pulled you into his chest and brushed a stray tear from your cheek.
You trembled at his touch as his fingers wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him. "I love you so much, baby. You know that, right?"
"I do, and I love you so much, too." It was almost a whisper on your lips, but he heard you. Terry smiled, slowly moved in, and pulled you into a passionate kiss.
You moaned softly, placing your hand on his cheek before slowly pulling away and grabbing hold of his hand. You got up, and he did the same and followed you to your bedroom.
You let go of his hand and went to your dresser. There, you grabbed a pair of handcuffs and handed them to Terry, whose eyebrows raised curiously.
"Do whatever you want with me; I'm yours forever, Terry," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist. This caused him to grin and his eyes to darken.
"Mmm, my nasty girl wants to be handcuffed, huh?" He asked, roughly cupping your chin with his massive hand, causing you to whimper.
You nodded. "Yes!"
"Yes, who?" He asked, still cupping your chin while tilting his head to look at you with gentle dominance.
"Yes, Daddy!" You corrected, already feeling wet with the way he stared into your soul and towering over you with his height.
Terry lets go of your chin, straightening his posture, folding his hands against his stomach, and says, "Strip!"
You slowly take each piece of clothing off while keeping eye contact with him, watching the desire on his face deepen. You were completely naked now, slightly feeling a breeze hit your nipples.
"Mmm, so fucking gorgeous baby. Turn around," Terry says, motioning with his finger. You turn around and feel the heat of his hands on your wrist.
Terry wrapped the cold metal of the handcuff on you and locked them before giving your ass smack. He turned you around to face him and pressed his lips against yours, taking your breath away.
Terry pulls away and helps you get down on your knees before him. You bite your lip, looking up at him for a second, then to his pants. He unbuttons them and pulls them down with his boxer.
You let out a moan as your mouth began drooling at the sight of his big, juicy dick so hard and throbbing. Terry took his hoodie off before grabbing hold of your face.
"You think you can suck me with no hands for me, baby girl?" He asked, and you nodded with confidence. "Yes, I can Daddy"
"Mmm, okay. Go ahead, make Daddy proud," Terry said, hitting his dick against your face before you wrapped your mouth around his dick.
You started to suck him and bob your head slowly while looking up at him, causing him to moan. You began to move your head faster, making Terry grip the back of your head.
“Fuck, baby just like that, just like that” Terry moaned as you continued to suck him as he began to play with your breasts and you took him fully into your mouth,
He let out a moan at the warmth of your mouth, gripping your hair and popping you off of him. You gasped with saliva, looking up at him with desire in your eyes.
"Mmm, fuck I ain't gonna last if you keep looking at me like that, sweet girl. So fucking beautiful: Terry moaned, watching you sucking him back into your mouth.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, open your mouth wider, baby," Terry chanted, grabbing your hair and beginning fucking into your mouth, causing you to moan and your eyes to water slightly.
He pulls out of your mouth, saliva dropping, and slaps his dick against your face causing you to chuckle. "Mmm, yes, love it when you slap me with your big dick."
“Shit...girl..." He continues, and then you take him back into your mouth. "Yes, yes, yes, just like that, keep sucking this dick so good” Terry bites his lip and throws his head back, moaning in pleasure.
You continued to bob your head up and down faster, looking into his eyes, always loving the expression of pleasure he made when you sucked him off.
"Shit, shit, shit, i'm gonna come!" Terry shouted, his panting extremely heavy. His muscles tensed up, veins almost popping from his arms with a loud moan.
You moaned muffled, feeling him release his seed into your mouth. The warm liquid trickled down your throat as he pulled out. You adjust yourself on the floor and taste his cum.
"Mmm, It tastes…sweet, Daddy," You said with a giggle, showing him the cum on your tongue, causing him to let out a moan at the amazing sight.
"You truly are my nasty girl!" He said after a couple of minutes of catching his breath. He went to get a wet washcloth to wipe your mouth before helping you up on the bed.
He didn’t waste any time on putting you on all four, spreading your ass cheeks, and pushing his tongue in your pool of sweetness and lavish wetness.
“Oh, ahhh, yes” You moaned into the sheets, feeling his tongue moving in and out of your wet pussy folds while adding two fingers into your dripping hole.
He began moving them back and forth between the two. Your moans chanted came louder than before as his tongue and fingers moved faster.
"Pussy is pretty and tastes so good, baby. So delicious, how am I so lucky to have you, huh?" Terry asked, giving you little licks here and there.
“Oh shit...Terry, don't stop, please,” You moaned, and he smirked, removed his tongue and his fingers, and replaced them with his dick, making you come.
"Oh my god, oh my.....Terry," You moaned, feeling yourself come hard on his dick as your body began shaking. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head.
Terry grabbed your wrist with his left hand and smacked your ass with his other before thrusted into you hard, causing you to gasp and moan.
"Terry, wait, please," You said, trying to move away, feeling sensitive; he didn't care and continued to grab your wrist and thrusted faster and harder.
“Mmm, fuck, baby, you're gushing, you hear that, baby?” Terry asked, pulling out slowly and thrusted his dick in and out of your pussy, causing wet sounds from your pussy.
"Yes, yes, ahh," You moaned, tilting your head slightly to look back at him with so much pleasure and want. "Fuck me, fuck your pussy, fuck all of me, giving all of that dick deeper."
"Mmm, baby girl. Keep talking nasty to me; you wanted it deeper?!" Terry moaned in pleasure and gave your ass a smack on the cheek and went slightly deeper.
"Shit, yes just like that." You moaned; he always knew how just you wanted and made you feel so good. Terry was looking down at the crack between his dick moving in and out of you.
The sensation of just thrusting in and out, feeling your walls, was everything. He smacked your ass, then grabbed a hand full of your ass cheek to spread them wide.
Halfway through, he takes the handcuffs off of you and pulls out of you. "Ride me, baby. I want to see that pretty face," Terry said, going to lay on his back, and you crawled on top of him.
You positioned his dick to slide into your pussy, causing both of you to moan. You placed your hands on his chest and began to bounce up and down his dick.
He smacks your ass with a growl, and you bit your lip, rolling your hips and grinding against him. You look down at him, meeting his eyes and feeling yourself clenching around him.
Terry opens his mouth in an O shape, watching every expression on your face, being in awe of you fixed on your breasts and loving how you moan his name and your eyes flutter at him.
His hands leaving your ass to caress up along your back softly. "Fuck, girl, keep looking at me like that, fuck with those pretty eyes. Might come and put fucking baby in."
His words made your body flutter slightly. You grinned at him and asked, "Mmm, do you want me to have your baby, big daddy?"
"Shit, yeah, I bet you'll look so damn sexy pregnant with our kid." He said, reaching up to squeeze your breasts. "Especially seeing these beauties all big and vein-filled with milk."
You knew he was just talking, but how he looked at you told you something else. The thought of having a baby with Terry in the future was ideal.
“Ahh...yes, yes, yes I wanna have your baby, Terry, one day,” You chanted out between moans, feeling your orgasm start to get close as you clenched around his throbbing, full of cum dick.
His hips slammed into your ass, feeling his balls hit at a different angle. "I'll give it ya one day if you wanted it, filled you up," he grunted, wrapping his hand around your neck.
"Fuck, yes fuck I'm gonna cum! fuck me” You screamed as he continued thrusted into you. “Me too, baby, together.” Terry let out a choked out of moan, his face scrunching in pleasure as both of you came together.
You blinked, seeing stars as you felt him release his seed deep inside of you, and your eyes rolled in the back of your head before letting out a soft sigh of contentment.
You dropped on Terry's chest, burying your face in his neck. He kissed your cheek and wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back.
Terry lies on your back and cleans you with the same washcloth he used earlier. He then takes a breath, lays beside you, and pulls you into his arms.
He looks at your face to find you knocked out, causing him to grow a chuckle. "I will try to make you a mother one day." His hand slowly reaches your belly, caressing it in circles with a hopeful smile.
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