#which is literally also my job so i was real tickled by that

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 9

Roy Kent x Reader - domestic fluff and hints of further spice to come 😍

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8

MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~

You're enjoying the hottest shower you can bear and also not looking forward to going back to your poor water pressure trickle when he taps on the door. 

"Why you knocking?" You laugh over the pounding water. 

"Don't want to catch you doing something you don't want me to know about, " he says with a wink. You turn the shower off and step into the towel he's holding out. "Your phones been going mad, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to check it wasn't Lexie?" 

"Thank you, course I don't." You take the phone and look through the notifications. "Lots from your sister, she's seen the red carpet pictures… shit, the pictures!" You keep scrolling, reaching with your other hand to hold onto his t-shirt. He takes you hand and kisses the palm. "Ah. Here we go." You hold it up to show him. A slew of messages and missed calls from Andy. 

"Fuck. What a knob. Come on, I've made tea. Do you want to read them while I get angry or the other way around?" 

"Ooh we can switch and both get angry."

"Can't do that, you look really hot when you're mad and we haven't got enough time for that."

"Uhh you need talk? Jamie asked me last night if permanent concussion was a thing from all the times you've headbutted him." He holds his hands up, backing out the door. 

"I deny everything." He leaves you to pull on some leggings and one of his Richmond t-shirts (no name on the back). You bounce down the stairs, your heels from the night before discarded at the bottom. Your dress had been left there too but Roy's obviously rescued it and draped it over the back of the sofa. 

"Thank you for saving the dress." You tiptoe to kiss his cheek. 

"It's only down here so I can put it on you again and then take it back off." 

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think we had time for that this morning?" You tease. You sit up on one of the barstools and he steps between your legs, holding out a piece of toast.

"We don't, but I can look at it and dream." He sneaks a kiss before passing your breakfast and moves to stand behind you. 

"I see what you're doing, feed me, put me in a good mood before I have to read these stupid messages?"

"Is it working?" He kisses your neck. 

"No."

"Yes," a laugh which makes you shiver.

"Fine, yes. OK, what have we got…" You unlock the phone and open Andy’s contact page. "Ready?" He nods into your shoulder.

" Now I see why you said no to getting back together. Starting tame, also he's not wrong. I'll allow it. You look like a slag in that dress. Juicy, god I haven't heard the word slag for years!" Roy growls. " I'm guessing Lexie doesn't know. She will when she wakes up. Hmm. OK. I mean, she likes you so I think we can cope with that situation. I think she'll be OK?"

"She's a fucking great kid, smart as hell. She'll be OK." He assures you. 

"There's more. He must have been pretty drunk by these I think. Bet he can't even fuck you with that dodgy knee. Uhhh, better than anyone. Ever. Ever." You feel his grin against your neck. "Don't get a big head."

"Not my head." He laughs, his beard and warm breath tickling you. 

"Ohhh stop doing that. Moving on. I'm sorry you dint really look like a slut. or slag. Ah, spelling and memory are becoming an issue. Oh god, he's back to sex. No idea why, he has literally zero to brag about. can't believe that wanker gets to fuck you in that dress bitch I wud fuk u better. Wow, that one is a real mess. Its the last one, I'm guessing he passed out after that because that last bit is just wishful thinking on his part."

"Didn't he have Lexie?"

"She went to his mums I think, he was going to the West Ham match."

"Good fucking job, if I find out he's getting wasted while she's with him-" You spin the seat around to face him again,

"You'll do nothing. I'll rip his dick off with my bare hands though." 

"Fuck me, you're hot when you're angry." 

"I should go and get her. I just need to check where from. Are you with Jamie today?"

"Yeah, but I can see him later if you want me to come with you?"

"I'll be OK. How shall we tell her? Do you want to be there?" 

"Your call babe, whatever you think she'd prefer? I'd rather not scare the shit out of her." 

"I'll get her and go back to mine. You could come over when you're done later if you want? If she asks me, I won't lie to her but if she doesn't, then we can tell her together? I'll cook for you for a change." 

"Perfect. Do me a favour?"

"Anything." 

"Wear this when you pick her up." He traces over your heart where it turns out, his name is on the shirt embroidered above the Richmond logo. 

"Baby, I would turn up in a full kit with your name on the back. Knee socks included, and football boots, just to piss him off." He kisses you fiercely, 

"Now you're just talking dirty to me," he mutters. 

"Yep, you love it. Come on, I bet Jamie's dying for gossip and I've got to get going." You text Andy while throwing only the important things in your bag. You're sure you've left a breadcrumb trail of your belongings around the house, but you know Roy won't mind. You head out together, the walk taking you both in the same direction for much of the journey. "Did you need to do anything about the photos?"

"Nah, no point in retracting them now and you look fit so the whole world can see them for all I care."

"Including your mum."

"Including my m-, shit, yeah I'd better call her. And your parents? Are they gonna wonder what the fucks going on?"

"I'll take Lexie round that way on our way home I think. Appease them."

"Nice one. Right, this is the Tartt's palace. See you later. Good luck, don't fucking kill him without me there to watch."

"Hmm I'll try. Don't make Jamie vom, he was trying really hard not to get too drunk last night but I don't think he was very successful."

"Story of his life. Love you." You smile up at him, 

"Love you too." Jamie has the door open before Roy's even hallway through the gate, waving at you. You wave back and carry on up to Andy’s mum's house. She had been largely on your side up to now, annoyed with Andy for breaking up the family and worried that she'd see less of Lexie because of it. You'd reassured her repeatedly, taken Lexie in for tea on the way home from school, picked up bits of shopping for her and gently tried to let her know that nothing had to change between them. You weren't so sure that would be the case this morning. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Andy’s car was on the drive so you braced yourself. 

"Darling girl, come in! Tea?"

"Hi Daph, yes please. I've only had time for one this morning." So far, so good. 

"Sore head?" She asked knowingly. 

"Not too bad. I suspect someone else is more hungover than me."

"You're not wrong. Did he give you crap?"

"A bit. How was Lex?"

"Oh golden, we had a lovely night. She's none the wiser by the way." She leads you from your hushed conversation in the hallway to her kitchen where Lexie sat eating breakfast and Andy hovered with a coffee in hand.

"Morning poppet, did you have a good night with Gran?"

"Yeah, we watched the new Matilda film!"

"And she hasn't stopped singing the songs yet!" Lexie grinned at her Gran.

"Show me later. Did you do your homework with Dad?" She nodded through a mouthful of cereal. Andy had yet to acknowledge you so far. "Shall we pop and see Nanny and Pop-pop on the way home?" Her face lights up, Andy grunts from the corner of the room. 

"Something to tell the folks eh?"

"Nothing we haven't already talked about." You quickly come up with the white lie. You don't want him to have the satisfaction that you're on clean up duty today. Lexie finishes her breakfast, puts her bowl in the sink and gives Daph a big hug. 

"Thank you Gran."

"Anytime pickle. Have a lovely week at school."

"And bye to Dad?" You prompt her, finishing your tea. You manage to leave without being cornered by Andy, it's pretty clear that his mum has told him to keep his mouth shut, so the short distance to your parents is a happy one. Your dad is already in the garden checking his plants and you can see your mum in the kitchen window beaming at Lexie. "Morning!" You call out, Lexie runs straight in so you go to your dad first. "Hiya dad." 

"Morning poppet," the same nickname you use for Lexie makes you smile. "Saw the paper."

"Hmm I thought you might have."

"Isn't he an almighty arsehole? I saw him on Sky Sports news, proper miserable bugger." You laugh at your dad's straight to the point question. 

"I still need to talk to Lexie, so I can't really talk about it too much, but he's so lovely dad. He's a grumpy fucker but he loves me, and Lexie too. It's early days, but he makes me very happy." Your dad stays quiet, just a grunt of acknowledgement. 

"I'll see about that. You'll bring him?"

"Soon, let's get the season finished first. It's a busy couple of weeks."

"Any luck on the job front?"

"Not yet."

"I hope you're not planning on just letting him support you? I didn't raise you like that."

"Dad! Course I'm not!" It stings a bit that he'd even ask that. You leave him to his tomato plants and go in to your mum. 

"Morning, love. Good night?"

"Yeah, thank you." Lexie is distracted by the baking your mum has already started, "you're not going to ask if I'm in it for the money as well are you?" Your mum laughs, 

"Don't be daft. Nice t-shirt," she notes. "Does the situation make you happy?" She asks cryptically for Lexie's benefit. 

"Very."

"Well that's enough for me for now. More details to follow though please. And you looked beautiful, my sweetheart."

"Thank you."

"He's very handsome. The only reason I'd put up with your dad watching Sky Sports news, really. Don't tell him I said that."

"I'm not telling either of them. Don't want him leaving me for my hot mum!" You stay long enough for Lexie the bottomless pit to have one of your mums famed apple muffins and pack up a couple to take for Roy, thankful that they can't ask too much with Lexie around. You plan to walk home via the park so text Sara who meets you with Phoebe. 

"How did the parental rounds go? Roy called this morning, said you'd have to deal with Andy's mum as well?"

"The mums are fine, I think. Turns out he's got a good fanbase in older women." 

"Oh that'll be his yoga women theory rumbled then. So confident they have no idea who he is! Like their husbands aren't all glued to weekend football."

"My dad asked if I was a golddigger."

"Ouch, rude!"

"Just making sure I'm not throwing my career away."

"What career?" She sniggers. 

"Oi, cheek!" 

"You looked so great together last night. The pictures were amazing."

"It didn't even cross my mind that they'd get attention like that. I wasn't expecting damage control this morning, or to have to tell those two so soon." You look over at where the girls are playing. 

"Phebs hasn't mentioned it yet, but it won't take long. You haven't got to see the playground parents tomorrow have you? That'll be fun, they love a bit of extracurricular shagging!"

"No, she's at breakfast club thankfully! I'm going to tell her this afternoon." 

"Good idea, gotta do it before anyone else can." You say goodbye with plans to watch the following week's Man City game together with the girls and to catch up in the week at school. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

You're considering tackling the mountain of washing and more job applications when the front door knocks. Lexie, who's been quiet all morning, jumps up to open it. You can just about see the front door from the kitchen, so the first thing you see is Roy handing Lexie a bunch of pink tulips. 

"For me?" She squeaks, "really?"

"Is that OK?"

"Only mum has ever brought me flowers before! Mum! Roy brought me flowers!" She rushes in to show you, shaking the bunch in her little fist.

"Oh honey, they're beautiful! Shall I help you put them in water?"

"Can you do it? I'm making friendship bracelets."

"'Scuse me?"

"Pleaseee?"

"That's better, yes, I can do that for you." She puts the flowers on the table and runs back to the living room, high fiving Roy on the way past. "Someone is on the charm offensive." 

"Oh big time," he pulled another bunch from behind his back, peonies.

"How did you know?"

"Dunno what you're talking about." He checked the door before kissing you lightly, you cock your head to one side, "alright yeah, Lexie told me last week when you were out shopping with Sar."

"I knew you were a softy really."

"Only for you, don't get destroying my fucking tough man image."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I like that side too. Did you make Jamie vomit?"

"Unfortunately no. Did you kill anyone?"

"Unfortunately no. Bad mornings all round." He hasn't moved from your side yet and keeps looking to the door. "I think you're safe. She's making Richmond coloured bracelets for the match, we're watching with your mum and sister."

"So I've heard, means I'd better tell my mum about you then." At the knowledge that you shouldn't be interrupted for a few moments, he takes the opportunity to crowd you against the counter and really kiss you. You tilt your head to give you both better access and he sweeps his tongue over your bottom lip before biting it. The small gesture sends a wave of pleasure through your body and your hands go to the hem of his t-shirt of their own accord. You slide them just underneath enough to feel the warm skin on his stomach. The lightest scratch of your nails so close to the waistband of his jeans makes him growl into the kiss. "I've got to stop," he groans, pulling away from you. You can't help the desperate, needy moan at the loss of contact, and the look he gives you from that sound alone is enough to leave you trembling. You take a second to get your breath back and go back to sorting out the flowers. "Has she asked?" He questions once it feels safe enough to talk again. 

"Not yet. I'm going to go and talk to her, you're welcome to come with me?" He squeezes your hand reassuringly but makes sure to let it go once you're in the living room. "Hey, Lex? I need to tell you some that you might end up hearing about from someone else, I wanted to be able to tell you first though?" She sits up and starts measuring your wrist for a friendship bracelet.

"Is it about Roy?"

"Uhh yeah, how did you know?" She shrugs,

"He's here. And he brought flowers." You nod, 

"Right, of course. Yeah, it's about Roy. He asked me out to a fancy party last night. You might see some pictures of us-"

"Have you got them, can I see now?"

"Sure, I just need to get my phone." You're about to stand when Roy passes you his phone instead, and you see the lockscreen is one of the pictures from the night before. You hold it out to her, 

"You guys look so cute." Roy grunts at being called 'cute', "It's true!" She says, taking up his wrist to measure him for a bracelet. "So he's like, your boyfriend?" You steal a quick look at him, his eyebrows raise in anticipation of your answer. 

"Yeah. Is that ok?" Lexie shrugs,

"Sure, you're cooler than dad's new girlfriend but they broke up already. And now I get to meet footballers and hang out with Phoebe even more. She said we could be cousins and I told her I didn't have any so she said we should definitely do that. Can we?"

"Let's ummm… cousins is a very big step for you both. You really need to make sure you're ready so just slow down a bit there." Roy is sniggering at the big deal you've made cousins out to be, but Lexie is having none of it. 

"Mum, I think we'd be OK. We're nearly 9. We're not babies. I think you should just be brave and let us do it."

"Thanks for that input bunny, I'll take the cousins thing super seriously, ok?" She accepts your suggestion and thankfully drops the conversation. In the safety of the kitchen, you lean into him and let his arms wrap around you. "That was so scary. Why are 8 year olds so fucking terrifying?!"

"You were the shit, I fucking loved that." He laughs, his chest rumbling against yours. You stand together until Roy's phone rings and disturbs you. "It's Phoebe. Alright love?" He asks her. You can hear the squeal through the phone but can't make out what she's actually saying. You move away from Roy and give him a big thumbs up and a: you got this ! He doesn't look convinced, despite you only just telling him how scary it was. You can only hear his side of the call. "Nan saw the pictures? Yeah it was a fucking great dress. Yeah alright, I owe you. Worth it. No, this doesn't mean you're cousins now. You can be cousins when I tell you so. Cos it'll be up to me! Phoebe, put nan on the phone. Mum? Yeah she's OK. I'll come and see you tomorrow. I will, love you." He hangs up and you wait. "Phoebe is suddenly obsessed with cousins and mum wanted to check you were ok." You smile,

"I think that went well then. All the mums are on board, all the kids, I'm claiming the win." 

 

You cooked dinner, as promised and let Lexie watch a film with Roy afterwards while you packed her school bag and your work things. He left at her bedtime, leaving you with a kiss at the door. 

"Maybe Roy could have a sleepover next time, mum," she said halfway to sleep, "but you can't steal all the covers or he'll get cold."

"Thanks poppet, I'll make sure I don't steal the covers."

~~~~~~~~

[cal-writes]

honestly, i am SO beyond worried for zoro at this point in terms of his Emotional state cause like ???? man's feel like he hasn't really had a chance for his feelings to blow up in his face yet cause He Keeps Shoving Everything Down For The Sake Of Doing His Job / literally trying to constantly keep everyone (else) alive. (also cause idk why but something about zoro these days just feels like there's some kinda tickling clock over his head since we basically know all the other strawhats inside & out, but zoro's story is like So Bare Bones i feel idk yes, i'm looking at you specifically, wci) that's not even getting into my fear for his PHYSICAL state cause that injection Dr. Goat Man (i forgot his name rn) gave him being like This Adrenaline Shot Will Keep You Going But It'll Only Multiply Your Pain Afterwards or whatever and like 👁️👁️ i know he was out for like two weeks i think post-wano so that was probably his body resting up since then but like .... M A N .

🤝 you and me both. its hard to tell if oda is going somewhere with it all or if zoros already had all the story oda is going to tell. i hope not but. it would be kind of poetic to have zoros arc be at the end since he was the second main character introduced and the past chapters seem to be building up towards some kind of confrontation

in general zoro has been a lot more tense since the time skip which is to be expected

like zoro understands their position more than most and has seen and has carried the consequences of them not being prepared before

its very oldest sibling of him. like i cant have fun i need to think about what everyones having for dinner

like he was fucking stressed getting off egghead bc they were being persued by an elder when he was already exhausted from fighting lucci. people say he was being prideful for not wanting to abandon the lucci fight as if zoro isn’t perfectly fine with running away (ive gone into it before but tldr zoros insisted beating lucci so lucci wouldnt fucking snitch on their escape route - which then of course happened)

not to mention this whole thing

even after that hes still very serious but hes always been more concerned than luffy about things

(tho oda splitting the group up gives me hope bc less people means he has more time for each of them)

regarding the wano fight… i want there to be more to it but again, not sure if its not already “done” from oda’s perspective. i hope its not but etc etc

like you cant just drop literal death and just never mention it again (please)

(it reminds me of the critical role vox machina campaign where a character died and made a deal with a death goddess to remain with the party until the quest was done so by the end he was taken away - love the drama of it all but hope thats not it)

maybe in the new arc thriller bark will come up again. bonney has kumas memories so she knows now as do brook robin and sanji. if sanjis allowed to be a real character and have some more plot maybe his “germa transformation” will make him be an asshole and tell everyone.

(im hoping that odas friendship with zoros live action actor will make him give him more material tbha gdjhahs)

but yeah we will have to wait and see. considering oda has been pretty good about payoff so far im cautious optimistic but im not holding my breath

[little-shadow-club]

In my delulu era

(She is a demon untainted by the abundance of mana, a royal who could afford anyone's needs in a second with no problems whatsoever. And sheis a human who wants to scape the world and the people that tickle her sensitive smell the moment she is even near them due to their mana. May I need to say more?)

Ramble incoming Haein just wants to canonically live a normal life outside of the whole ordeal with the gates and her fame when she was a younger athelete, but cant bring herself to do so mostly becuase of how much she wishes to use her power for her own good and how even when she has to do a job, she doesnt see the other kind as an enemy until she is attacked. She has oen of the most purest hearts out there but it sint noticable due to her constant emotionless face and the fact that she is one of the strongests beings out there which already sets her apart from others not only physiscally but emotionally.

And then theres Esil who has no choice but to care for the place she is demanded to protect by a voice she doesnt even know of, and by a king who is so far away se could never grap at what his goals are. She is born in a life so filled with constant bloodshed that it becomes a daily part of her, knowing that if she shows even the slightest of weakness it will be over for her, and she doesnt care to backstab and betray, to kneel or submit to a higher force if she gets to live. She would not choose the glory of death over her life, she will not carve out the path by herself and instead rely on others to help her overcome it because she knows to where her weakness lies.

The thing that scratches my back the most about this ship is that, whereas Haein could have a normal life with someone else (cough jinwoo cough), she could never have that same level of equal power as she would with Esil. Both of them arethe closest to their levels matching, both of them would be comfortable with each other considering how Esil is really interested in human (internet) culture and Haein for the most part has tolerated or found friendships with monsters outside of humans. Esil's world would be a refresh for her to just wind down and be spoiled with every need possible. And Esil could easily go to earth to meet her in order to relax from her noble duties.

Its so interesting to me that esil is also implied to have had a loving family but has since lost it all (rag timeline) whereas haein it is never implied whenever or not she has had a family of her own but we know that those who cared for her wanted to boost her idol success which haein didnt really like. so in the end she only go to have a real family after meeting others like jongin and jinwoo.

And I swear these two would have made me go insane if they met, they are literally even living together only one dimension apart, and yet tey never had a canon interaction. god kew of they would have gotten together they would have been unstopable.

[kenjiyabuki]

DMD FTR: finale thoughts

i forgot to put this out because i've been in the process of being an employed adult human person these days, unfortunately (no one who saw my previous DMD FTR posts is surprised that i was unemployed). now i wont even get to have my weekly crisply shot and edited hang outs w Gen 3 besties while this new job is sucking my soul... but this was a pleasant finale to this sweet and chill and incredibly unsurprising show!

here's the thing: i dont even know who Domundi is trying to fool w this double win stuff cause they did literally announce the new gen would be acting in TWO (2) new series during their 2023 Line Up event???????

so the double win wasn't a surprise AT ALL but it's okay, it didnt really diminish my enjoyment out of the show at all. i wanted both couples to have series anyway!

as i've said in my first post about this show, it has been very obvious that this shows' intention isn't to be a competition, it's more of a new gen "inauguration". they could've just put the boys through bunch of workshops and let them choose partners off camera too but they chose to put money and time in to make it a whole show, so people could witness their journey and premature fan clubs would form and develop. i think its fun and clever marketing but did it work???

well, the boys def have more fans now BUT on the same day this episode was premiering, some ZNN fans were crying about their faves (who just had a movie come out, also filming a show rn AND scheduled to film another one after) being slighted by the company and they didn't need to "add more". like i said, i don't really follow Domundi closely, if the fans are right about artist management i might not know... but their Gen 2 was extremely successful after all and people are BEGGING for more series, so it's not a bad move for a company to want to grow. i wish fans would be more mature and learn more the industry the person they "stan" works in! why would a growing company would just make shows w 2 actors over and over man, cmon 😭

okay now that i got that out of me, back to the finale. some notes about the general:

the group performance of the theme song was a bit cringe to me bc i just hate that kind of music. but everyone's ending fairies were really cuteeeee so i forgive them

real winners of the episode is the background dancers because they literally did all the performances and acted too, very well!!

Domundi members and variety of industry people in the audience was sweet to see and added valuable comments/advice for the boys. i was especially happy to see Jimmy and Tommy, whom i ADORE!!!!

i was laughing at that LOUD ASS clapping and hollering track they kept playing to add some more noise to the audience's. like i know why they did it but how much that big sound didn't match w that small crowd just tickled me..

well, yeah, i cant get into idol-ing stuff personally so i was kind of bored during the solo performances. i dont really have comments that hasn't already been said by the judges. i thought all the boys did what they were supposed to do and showcased their talents, EXCEPT Latte........ my dude, what happened? i think he could've lip sync to the song, which IS a skill (Rupaul's Drag Race battles and just drag performances in general as evidence...) that would add a lot to his performance.

Firstone leaving the competition w Best Friendship & Best Performance Awards in his pocket and two guys wanting to be his partner. What a little star... Deserved and love his cocky attitude.

about couple jukebox musicals:

in my last episode commentary, i joked about Mandee getting inspired from my ideas but then they actually kinda happened lol🧐🧐🧐🧐 ThomasKong's performance was a coming of age, young love story while KengNamping's story was more complex romance w an angsty core, almost exactly like i wished for.

all in all, KengNamping's performance grabbed my attention the most. mostly because their acting & chemistry seemed improved to me (that kiss fake out at the end, what the hell??? you guys couldn't hold an eye contact couple eps ago...) AND their storyline just ATEEEE. i dont know who came up w the forbidden romance between kinda out of touch but well meaning rich boy & his "i suffer through love quietly" village boy bodyguard, w humour sprinkled in, but they need to get their ass eaten regularly...

ThomasKong don't even need to try that hard, they are just natural born charmers!!!! i liked their friends to lovers, nerdy guy cant believe popular one' love bc he doesnt see his value storyline (Thomas could've busted out One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful"). With the romantic prom climax, it reminded me of American high school movies and fit their vibes perfectly. i wish it was more humorous, because i think comedy is one of their strong suits. like how did it ended up that shy kings KengNamping got more laughs than ThomasKong, the goofballs themselves??? whoever is writing their series, please take notes, now that i know you are reading these...

after the glorious double win and the cute four-way hug, Aof said that two shows would be announced this year which clearly meant that most we are getting this year are pilot trailers. which is fine. not easy to be patient but i get that they are a smaller company w lots on their plates already. i hope they will use that time to work and work and work on the shows!!!!

i honestly want Domundi to kind of change up things in their filmmaking/producing styles, maybe switch directors sometimes and try diffferent styles idk... this show and Gen 3 in general felt very refreshing and i hope they keep that vibe going! and maybe i will finally watch a Domundi show till the last episode.

P.S.: Extra clips were released this week and KengNamping's was sweet. i was kinda laughing at how much of a set up it was like, them conveniently sharing a blanket, all mic'd up, getting filmed w lights on etc. but their conversation and mood in the moment seemed sincere, which is enough. it was nice to see the context for ep 5, when they found each other at the other end of the red ribbon and said that so much happened on that bridge. what a perfect circle moment, from comforting each other about not winning a challenge to winning the show!

[90363462]

How To Have Good Head Game - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty

Sheriden ChanelOct. 23, 2015 07:09PM EST

OK ladies, let's be real. Nobody really enjoys giving oral sex ALL the time. Holding your mouth in that infamous o-shape for longer than a few minutes will have even the best personal head doctors checking the clock for their break time. But it's no secret that most men love oral sex. Not only because it feels so damn good to them, but also because it's a sexual act that is completely selfless. While you're on your knees and/or getting a slight tickle at the back of your throat, the red light special is really all about him. Baby, he's yours. For me, that feeling of power has always been enough to make me find pleasure in my partner's solo excursion. However, I confess that once the newness of your taste begins to stale, my head gets a little out of the game.

That same fervor and passion that was there every time shows its face every now and again, but not nearly as often. Head before, head after, head three times a day, but twice on Sunday is the pattern my long-term partner likes for me to showcase along his length. Admittedly, I've cut my eyes a few time upon hearing a request or when I know I've done a particularly amazing job and it glistens with my work, just so he can decide to prolong his orgasm and have me repeat my efforts once more. That gets on my last nerves. Alas, the thing I called a hobby drifts into chore territory. I've discovered a few tricks of the blowjob trade that works to iron out the kinks of monotony.

Some ways that I keep oral sex fresh include:

Making It About Me

Hearing what I do, seeing what I do, feeling what I do to a man is something that makes me aware of my power and proves to be the thing that turns me on. Although oral sex is a very selfless act, there is a way to be selfish in the midst of all of your giving. Pleasure yourself while you pleasure him. My vibrator is my best friend when it comes to sex toys, and I don't mind utilizing her on myself while I pleasure him. If not that, a hand can do the trick. Your partner's wandering hand as well…

Switching It Up

Do you like to do it on your knees? Between his legs? 69? What about a combination of all three? To thwart the feeling of monotony, I like to change it up every so often – be it in a small way by changing the way I stroke or how much of it I grant entry in at a time, or be it in a much larger way by changing positions altogether (which in my opinion isn't an action to be limited to actual intercourse). My all-time favorite go-to when my mouth is tired (particularly in the mornings), is to have him set the pace by treating your mouth as he would your vagina. Talk about a turn-on.

Being Open To Experimenting

Play with different textures and different temperatures. I had an ex once who loved the feel of lace against his base. I've found that the sensation of the warmth of a mouth versus the coolness of air, or even ice that you bring inside of bowl to your bedroom can prove to be an exhilarating feeling. Take a cube of ice into your mouth and run it up and down the length of him. He won't know what to think or feel with all of the sensations he's feeling. Also, don't be afraid to experiment with edibles; just be wary of what you allow to enter your body afterwards. Yeast infections know no bounds.

Playing With the Balls In My Court

There is a very tender part of the male anatomy that is often ignored. Leave his penis for a while and travel further down south. Lick the space in between them. Don't suck on them like you would his penis, but instead focus on purposeful tongue movements and gentle sucking. I like to compare it to our clitoris. Due to sensitivity, less is always more. The response will be immediate, you'll literally have him quaking for more.

How do you keep your oral sex life passionate and exciting?

[tickling-giggles]

Tickletober Day 15: Ghost

A/N: FYI his babies are just remote controlled baby ghost that does no real harm they just tickle you

Lee: Mirko

Ler: Mr. boo (i literally just made up his name so I’m not saying ‘ghost villain’ the entire time😭) ———————————————————————-

“Nice hide out ghost man, but I’m gonna need to know where you’re keeping that nomu at and also for you to come with me” Mirko busted into his majestic lair.

“Geez there’s a door right there! Instead of you damaging everything” He rolled his eyes pointing at the big purple doors. Mirko looked back and saw them “heh Oops” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Anyways I honestly and both really don’t feel like fight so would you mind making this easy but just handing it over please” Mirko explained, holding out one hand as the other rested on her hip.

“Why should I you LITERALLY DESTROYED MY PLACE” He cut his eyes at her. “Wow they forgot to add very dramatic onto your file” Mirko scoffed.

“Shut it your not taking me or my babies!!” He got up protecting his ‘babies’.

“Okay so everyone just calls whatever they create babies? I— that kinda makes sense since” Mirko thought about it.

“Now my little ones go! Attack!” He pointed at her. To her surprise nothing happened, there was no nomu in sight which caused her to drop her gaurd a bit.

“Heh? Wow was that some type of joke?! Dude c’mon, just make both of our lives easier and just come here” Mirko started walking towards him.

“No! Absolutely not!!” He whined.

Mirko kept slowly walking closer until she felt something brushed up against her neck causing her to pause in her tracks.

“The hehell?!” She swore to herself.

“What’s wrong?” He teased, knowing that his babies were starting to tickle her.

“Yohou’re so pathehetic a device thahat tickles someone nihIce one” giggling, she bit back.

“You know what I was gonna be nice but now I’m not” he growled turning it up a notch.

“OHoho rehahally, Ihi’ll stihihill kiHick yOhour bUttehehe” Miruko began laughing, squeaking here and there but still bouncing around trying to catch her prey.

“Hmmm what turn it up? Sure if that’s what you want” He acted, turning it up another notch.

It actually did it’s job and actually slowed her down a bit.

“YOhoU MuHuST bEhE pROHOUD HUh?”

“Tickles so bad you can barely keep your composure Hmm?” He teased again, gloating, getting TOO cocky he wasn’t even paying attention to Miruko.

“GohotchA puuhuhUnk” mirko giggled as she apprehended him powering off the device. Still giggling talking trash to him. “Fyihi everyone is tihicklish now let me tickle your fancy” she grinned cracking her fingers.

“DON’T DO THIS PLEHEHEASE” the anticipation got to him.

[seiwas]

mint... oh my god...

i can't bELIEVE THIS... how can i ever be normal abt them AGAIN... i don't even know where to begin... i guess this is just a live reaction of me going thru everything bc... idt i can think straight rn... oh my god....

i looove how you characterise them omg individually and together like there's such a natural banter between them that exists bc they're both just funny in their own ways, alone (which. also. IS SO ATTRACTIVE/?!?!?!?)

this exchange: "You kinda gotta be hot for that," Makki chides. + "I am hot. Like, really hot," Mattsun replies, "And I have a pornstar cock." 💀💀💀💀💀💀 pls omg. it's so true tho 😭😭 mattsun is never beating the big dick allegations. SRSLY.

and the way you describe them both?!??! hot in their own ways?????!?! TOOK ME OUT istg i think i fell in love.

You can't deny it: Matsukawa Issei is hot. Like, really hot. Even in the low light, with only the neon flickering of the television illuminating the sharp angles of his face, he's beautiful. Heavy lidded eyes and thin lips that break into a troublesome grin-- it's almost tragic how beautiful he is.

He's cuter than his dark haired friend, with round cheeks that dimple when he laughs and round eyes that almost disappear when he smiles. It's a different type of hot-- an imperfect one that you crave all the same.

AND READER?!?!? omg reader was so REAL.

You'd give your right leg for either of them to think of you as anything other than a 'bro'. <- yup.

You gasp out loud as they meet again, mouths parted and tongue sliding against each other. <- in this very moment, i fully combined with reader.

Fuck, that that cannot be a cock. Maybe a fucking TV remote. <- 💀💀💀

It’s pretty. That’s the fucked up part about it. <- 😭😭😭

i love how nonchalant mattsun is—so smooth and slow and says things like 'we had a threeway' so casually BUT makki is SOOOO cheeky so annoying OH MY GOD i want them both. AND THEIR CHEMISTRY IS INSANE.

“Aww, it’s always good with you, babe.” Makki blows a kiss, with a flourish of his wrist, "That hand job? Phenomenal." <- U KNOW THEM PERSONALLY MINT HASGDASHD THIS WAS SO FUNNY

They share a couple of unheard words before Mattsun closes the gap between them with a lazy tilt of his head, lips just barely touching the others in the faintest of kisses. Before you can claim that a kiss that chaste doesn’t count, Makki moves again, swinging a leg over to straddle Mattsun in a practiced move. <- this was SO hot

hands wander, gripping shirts and hips and the back of each other's necks, barely giving them space to pull in a breath. <- HELLLOOOO??!?!?

Mattsuns lips immediately latch onto the base of his neck, sucking a hickey on to freckled skin <- my god

"Dude," Makki's breath tickles against your cheek, "Shut up." + "Yeah." Mattsun agrees into the soft of your neck, sarcastic as always,  "Read the room." <- YEAH IM SHUTTING UP ALL RIGHT LMAO fuck.

when they argue about makki being shrimpier too LIKE PLS 💀💀💀💀💀💀 nawt 'Dude' nawt them ruining the buildup PLS.

Where Mattsun moved slow, Makki does not. He's rutting into you hard, pushing you into Mattsun's chest. The man below you kisses your cheek with a laugh, clearly enjoying the faces you're making. You're wet down to your knees, smeared with a mixture of bodily fluids, and it offers no resistance for Makki as he enjoys himself. <- the fact that this is around the end bit omg idk if i can go on like this

and oh my goooood. so much was happening. i was literally the blue reax pic the ENTIRE time. and mattsun's lazy kiss? ILL DIE. then makki's dirty talking?? HELLLOO???? and when reader said 'mattsun' first oH MY GOOOOOOOD

there's also moments like this: There’s a surprising amount of stubble on his face- more than you’ve ever noticed before- tickling the softest softs of you.  “These are really cute by the way.” <- LOSING MY MIND. PULLING AT MY HAIR. BITING MY FIST. he's so attractive i could cry

and mattsun playing along with the whole 'r we rlly pretending ure that big' thing like. WHY IS HE SO TEASING ABT IT. WHY DID HE PLAY ALONG. hE'S SO HOT WHEN HE DOES. i CANTTTT

i swear mint. i am not the same person oh my god.

one, two, and....

Hanamaki x reader x Matsukawa

cw: cisfem reader, threesome, PIV sex, squirting

a/n: I've been working on this forever and I think it's time to release it into the world. Originally it was supposed to have three different endings to choose from, so maybe one day I'll release the Snyder Cut With all three lol!

"I've been thinking of starting an OnlyFans."

You and Makki turn to your friend, sharing identical blank expressions. Mattsun doesn't crack a smile, eyes never leaving the television screen. With a few swipes of his thumbs, the dark-haired man has knocked your video game character off of the map with absolutely no mercy, forcing you to half heartedly return to playing.

"You kinda gotta be hot for that," Makki chides. He's been dead for a while now, so he just tosses his controller to the side. He's on the other side of his friend, leaning back away from the arm of the couch with a half-cocked smile.

"I am hot. Like, really hot," Mattsun replies, "And I have a pornstar cock."

A heat washes over your face and drains down your whole body. You can't deny it: Matsukawa Issei is hot. Like, really hot. Even in the low light, with only the neon flickering of the television illuminating the sharp angles of his face, he's beautiful. Heavy lidded eyes and thin lips that break into a troublesome grin-- it's almost tragic how beautiful he is.

You'd give your right leg for either of them to think of you as anything other than a 'bro'.

"Shut the fuck up." You're jamming the controller too hard and the plastic whines under the pressure, " 'Pornstar cock.' As if. You're such an asshole."

"Nah, that's true. He does have a massive cock." Makki nods, sticking his tongue through the gap between his canine and molar. He's cuter than his dark haired friend, with round cheeks that dimple when he laughs and round eyes that almost disappear when he smiles. It's a different type of hot-- an imperfect one that you crave all the same.

"Oh, you've seen his dick?" you ask, a bit sarcastically. They did play sports in high school; it's possible a penis popped out in the changing rooms.

"Duh." Makki puffs his chest, "We've had a threeway."

That's news. A sticky, dark feeling clings to your chest. It's wrong of you to want either of them, and yet you want both-- the idea that someone else beat you to it makes your stomach flip.

“It was a good one too.” Mattsun says. He doesn't even bawk, clearly more concerned with the game than this.

“Aww, it’s always good with you, babe.” Makki blows a kiss, with a flourish of his wrist, "That hand job? Phenomenal."

Your character dies in a blaze of color and lights, it's sad little noise soon drowned out by victory music. Mattsun tosses his controller to the side, pumping his fist in a rather calm victory. You quickly exit out of the game and let the opening screen loop, your mood soured.

"You guys are just fucking with me,” you grumble.

“Like I’d ever joke about sex.” Makki sends you a wink and you hate that it makes your cheeks a little hot.

“It’s the only thing he takes seriously," Mattsun agrees. They both elbow each other conspiratorially, sharing a laugh that might be at your expense. Mattsun’s dark eyes flicker to you and his wolfish smile grows toothier as he draws his gaze down, raking over every inch of your body. Oh, they are definitely lying. Your jealousy immediately drains from your body.

“Are you -?”

You interrupt Mattsun before he can even finish.

“Prove it then."

Both men turn in unison, Makki’s eyes wide and Mattsun’s narrowed.

“Prove you’re had a threesome,” you clarify with a shrug. Your voice is dripping with victory and you can barely keep the grin from your face.

“How can we prove that?” Mattsun laughs, “I didn’t take pictures.”

You pretend to think about it for a moment. “Kiss each other.”

“What?” It's Makki's turn to laugh.

“Kiss each other,” you repeat, making a jerk off motion in the air, “You guys rubbed cocks, but you won’t kiss? Really?”

They share a quick glance, communicating silently between themselves with fleeting expressions and pointing chins. Mattsun suddenly scoffs, turning back to you with a raised brow. Neither of them say anything and you know you’re won.

“‘I’m going to start an OnlyFans,’” you taunt, “‘I have a huge cock.’ ‘I’ve had so many threesomes.’ You’re such bad liars.”

Makki moves first. He presses forward on to his hands, gripping his friend’s thigh as he leans in head first. He lingers in the lack of space he's created, nose brushing up against his friends. They share a couple of unheard words before Mattsun closes the gap between them with a lazy tilt of his head, lips just barely touching the others in the faintest of kisses. Before you can claim that a kiss that chaste doesn’t count, Makki moves again, swinging a leg over to straddle Mattsun in a practiced move. You gasp out loud as they meet again, mouths parted and tongue sliding against each other.

Then, it’s a tangle. Mattsun’s fingers are woven into strawberry blonde hair, dragging him closer to catch Makki’s lip in between his teeth. He seems to enjoy the pain; Makki’s hums of approval rumble so deep you can feel it resonate in your chest, filling the space between your ribs with a burning desire. Hands wander, gripping shirts and hips and the back of each other's necks, barely giving them space to pull in a breath. It’s pornographic, the way they grind into each other, rutting like dogs. If it's an act- it’s a good one. Through the thick fabric of his jeans, you swear you can see the outline of Makki’s cock against his thigh, waiting for attention.

You want attention too-- you're dripping for it. You push back into the arm of the couch and clamp your legs together, hoping to smother the want that's built there. Part of you wonders if they’d ever notice if your hand slipped down the front of your pants; they’re so lost in the moment that you think they’ve forgotten you exist.

Just as you debate it, hand on the buckle of your belt, Makki’s head snaps your way knowingly. The dark haired man doesn't stop though; Mattsun's lips immediately latch onto the base of his neck, sucking a hickey on to freckled skin.

“C’mere.” There’s a pitch to Makki's voice as teeth sink in right before his Adam's apple. "C'mere."

There’s no time to hesitate. Makki’s hand clamps around your ankle and tugs, sliding you closer and trapping your legs between the men’s bodies. You barely manage to remain sitting up and you almost immediately regret not falling over. Makki is too close, watching you with a hazed over expression that makes your stomach twist tight.

Somehow, Mattsun is unphased, eyes so heavily lidded that you can barely make out how they flicker to you. At least, you think he’s unaffected, until one of his fingers catches under one of your belt loops. They pull you closer together, folding you until you're angled awkwardly beside them, legs still trapped.

"I-" you start, a pant to your voice. Sometimes you forget how tall they both are, but right now you are very aware; they both tower over you, a hunger in their eyes you barely recognize. "You guys-"

"Dude," Makki's breath tickles against your cheek, "Shut up."

"Yeah." Mattsun agrees into the soft of your neck, sarcastic as always, "Read the room."

The chaos of both of them slowly envelops you. Makki's lips meet yours as Mattsun's teeth nip and all you can do is gasp as every nerve in your body flares. It's overwhelming to be the center of both of their desires, being tugged and pulled back and forth, someone's hands digging into the soft of your stomach, someone else unbuttoning your pants.

When you break away to breathe, Mattsun is there, catching you right where Makki left off. He kisses differently- lazier, slower. His counterpart kissed you so roughly your lips burn where his teeth once were; Mattsun approaches with a feather touch, barely enough to satiate your need for him.

Hands snake across your back and around to your tits, greedily cupping them through your shirt. Somehow, you've migrated, now straddling Mattsun's lap with Makki at your back. Your bra gaps and gives and Makki grumbles in annoyance.

“Issei,” You’ve never heard Makki use his first name before, “Unhook her bra.”

Mattsun finishes the kiss, lingering, savoring, watching with his deep, dreamy eyes.

“Do it yourself.” His voice is practically a sigh. You want to melt into him, sinking into him to slot your mouths together.

"You know, last week Issei over here told me how bad he wants to suck your tits," Makki whispers into the shell of your ear. A warm touch slips under your shirt and your bra suddenly feels loose. You lean back enough to give the blonde enough space to go back to kneading your breasts and this time his long fingers roll your nipple between them, "He's been hard for you for a while now.'

A twitch has started in your legs, trembling tight as the hot feeling inside you screws tighter and tighter. The way your jeans sit gives you nothing to grind against, not even the rock hard cock that's pressed into your thigh. It's thick -- much thicker than you expected.

"I wanna suck them too, obviously," Makki continues, "I wanna put my mouth everywhere."

He pecks your earlobe. "Wanna suck your clit while you struggle to take Issei's cock."

Mattsun hums in approval as he grabs your hips, tugging your hips impossibly closer, "If she can even take it."

That turns your core molten. They want you-- they want you the way you want them. You wish they'd keep talking and blab about all of their dirty whims and wants-

"Yeah," you breathe, "Yeah, I can take it."

Mattsun slips his hand from your legs and ghosts them up to your waistband. The open button of your jeans makes it easy for him to slide in, dipping down under your panties. His fingers are wide, brushing against the cleft of your pussy delicately.

"She isn't shaved." He talks like you aren't there, looking over your shoulder to his friend.

"Oh, I like that," Makki chirps. The ministrations haven't stopped; he's still rolling and squeezing and pinching, watching for what makes you wiggle and gasp. He finds a good motion just as the heel of Mattsun's palm grinds against your clit. Those massive fingers waste no time, forcing their way inside you. The suddenness stretches you tender.

All three sensations combine and suddenly your brain is fuzzy-- your eyes can even stay focused. It's too much, it's not enough; you squirm and you can't tell if you're trying to get away or get more.

"Oh shit," Mattsun chuckles, scissoring his fingers side to side. This time you yelp-- mostly out of surprise -- and that spurs him on further. "There's no way you're fitting me. Fuck, I don't know if you'd fit Hiro."

"You're making me sound shrimpy."

"Shrimpier than me."

"I'm not shrimpy! Dude's like, inches longer than the national average. I've checked."

"You named your cock Dude?"

"Oi, it's a good-"

You cut in, voice flat. You love them both, but the quips just aren't that sexy when you're those horny, "Please stop doing-- that--" Oh, your voice is broken/, "You're killing my orgasm."

"Oh shit, you gonna cum?" Mattsun realizes, grinding back down again. That sparks something in you again, but not quite as bright, but your body cramps at the thought of not chasing it. "You that sensitive?"

"Love an easy girl," Makki chirps.

"I was going to-" You shook a glance between them, both sheepish and grinning- "until you guys opened your mouths."

"Aw, does that mean the threesome is off?" Makki says that as he's lifting your shirt up. You help, letting him strip your top bare.

"No," you admit in a low voice, "I wanna keep going.”

They exchange a look and you swear they are mentally high fiving each other. You wriggle off your pants and they both sudden spring into action, afraid of this moment passing by.

"You should ask Hiro to fuck you first." Mattsun pulls his own shirt off, "Let him stretch you out nice and good for me."

"Nah, fuck Issei first," Makki is quick to say, "I like sloppy seconds."

You don't have to think about it.

"Mattsun."

You're too greedy to wait.

Mattsun dips his thumbs under your panties and gently lowers them as he dips his face into the crook of your neck. There’s a surprising amount of stubble on his face- more than you’ve ever noticed before- tickling the softest softs of you. “These are really cute by the way.”

You clearly weren’t expecting to get dick today; you’re in your full coverage, full butt panties, the ones that hang out in the back of your drawer and digs a bit too much into your hips. “Really?”

He tries to bite back his smile, tongue poked deep in his cheek as he helps you off of the couch and onto the floor. You can’t help but wonder the last time these guys vacuumed as you watch the brunette lay down, urging you on to this lap with gentle hands. You end up on his thighs, just low enough that the lump in his pants is right above you.

"Yeah. They’re like, I dunno, homey. Comfortable. " He runs his hand up your sides. The other man doesn’t join; Makki just scooches the coffee table over with his foot to clear a space for him to watch. His palm is pressing into the noticeable swell on his pants as he watches, eyes flickering between the two of you. Suddenly, your least favorite pair of underwear is your favorite. You can't help but preen and pose, arching your back and cupping a tit coyishly.

"You just gonna sit there and watch?" you tease, even though your heart is racing, “It’s not really a three way without you.”

"Hey, this is free OnlyFans content! I’m gonna enjoy it!” He jerks his chin towards his friend, "Plus, I wanna see your reaction.”

Your eyes roll themselves at that. You turn back to Mattsun, waiting for him to laugh or tease, but he just watches you back, an overly cocky smile smeared across his lips.

“Are we really going to pretend your cock is that big?” You let your fingers trail down his bare chest and hope he can’t feel like them tremble. God, you can see it kick through the denim. It’s getting harder and harder to tease him now that they both know you want this.

“You’re so right,” Mattsun’s voice drips with sarcasm, “I’m tiny.”

He finally pops the top to his jeans and snakes them down. The light blue pattern of his briefs does nothing to conceal the growing sticky stain that's formed on the front. Most of his length is still hidden under the denim, but the bit you can see is….

Fuck, that that cannot be a cock. Maybe a fucking TV remote.

“So fucking small, huh?” You realize you’re making a face when he starts laughing.

“What a shame,” he continues as he frees the rest, “Hot guy with a micro-- you should pity fuck me or something.”

It’s pretty. That’s the fucked up part about it. The head is a soft pink, glazed wet with precum, fading into a surprising tan color. It’s thicker than your wrist, with a single vein down the underside and would be perfect to drag your tongue across. Mattsun gives himself a single, slow pump, pulling a perfect droplet of clear liquid from his slit. With the other hand, he takes your wrist and pulls your touch to his, letting you grip his length. Your thumb and middle finger barely connect.

“Hey, Issei?”

“Yeah?”

Your fingers pulse, testing the firmness. There’s some give-- he’s not even fully hard.

“You were right, this is a pornstar cock.”

Mattsun rolls his eyes and gives you another toothy grin. His legs spread wider, therefore spreading yours too- so far that your labia slips free from the short fabric of your panties. The damp skin feels cold against the air, but the heat of anticipation is making you sweat.

“I told you.” Makki chimes in. You hadn’t realized that he had moved until his voice was rumbling against the fat of your ass. He’s the one who’s spread Mattsun’s legs, crawling in between them on hands and knees to press kisses against your back. “You gonna take it?”

You’re not sure you can. It’s a comical amount of dick, but your pride won’t let you back out. “I’ve taken bigger.”

“Oh yeah?” Your underwear digs further into your skin as Makki tugs it to the side and completely frees your cunt. “‘cause it looks pretty small back here.”

With a squelch, two fingers slip easily into you, reaching and curling deep. A moan hits you like a punch, crumpling you at the waist. Hands on Mattsun’s shoulders, you just brace yourself as Makki eases out and pushes back in, this time a bit slower.

“Are you sure you aren’t a virgin?” He wriggles for effect and your body clenches around him in response.

“Oi, lemme feel.” Mattsun’s hand pushes through the petals of you. Just as you think Makki’s going to pull away to give Mattsun space, the stretch grows more intense; two sets of hands are crammed into you, knuckles brushing against each other, and it makes your vision starred.

“Oh-” Your voice hollows out on you, “My god--”

It’s all you can do to take it, letting them squelch and move and prod asynchronistically. It’s clumsy and strange and honestly a bit weird, but your body seems to disagree; excitement is literally dripping from you, running down your thighs and smearing across their hands, popping and slicking and practically leaking. They’re treating you like a toy, you realize, exploring instead of trying to please you.

Someone's talking. Your brain tries to fight through the fog of pleasure to figure out what's being said, but the pulses and twitches of pleasure running through every muscle in your body are simply louder. Everything inside you is teetering towards the brink in a way you're never felt before. It's not like any other pleasure you've ever felt-- it's internal, it's uncomfortable, it's----

And everything lets go. You're cumming, you think. You realized your eyes have been closed this whole time, too absorbed in what's happening inside you.

"Ohmygodohmygod." It's been your voice this whole time. When you finally come down, you realize the two have gone still, just watching you.

"Damn." Makki whistles low."Do you always squirt?"

Oh, you burn with embarrassment. You tey to close your legs but there's two men in between them. "I've never done that before."

"That's so hot."

“Fuck,” Mattsun is trying to angle your hips with one hand and adjust his cock with the other, angling for your hole, “I’m gonna cum so quick, it’s gonna be embarrassing.”

Trepidation turns your stomach. You're wet all the way down your thighs, but Mattsun is a monster-- it's going to ache no matter what.

"Go slow, okay?"

"Aw, you'll take what I give you." Mattsun rolls his eyes with a smile, running his cock head through your folds. His cock slips and misses a couple times, prodding where it shouldn't be.

"You're embarrassing me," Makki whines, "Let me fucking do it."

Two fingers spread your pussy lips open wide. You can't see, but the strawberry blonde must be holding his friend's cock now because it immediately finds where it wants to be; the head catches against your opening and sinks in ever so slightly. You have to will yourself to relax and not fight the intrusion-- even though the stretch is wild//.

"Hey," Makki taps your thigh and you realize you're shaking. The pleasure and the discomfort are different sides to the same coin- both make your toes curl and your breath hitch as Mattsun sinks deeper and deeper.

"You have a pornstar pussy, baby." A finger runs over where your body meets cock and you can feel how taut you're stretched. Your body pulses at that realization and it rips a groan from the man under you. "It's so sexy to see you get ruined like that."

"Oh, it feels so fucking good too," Mattsun gasps. He looks so good like this, with pink cheeks and sweat touched hair. His pretty lips are pressed together with effort, trying to hold himself steady and he carefully gives you more and more.

Fuck, you swear you can feel him in your guts and he's not even halfway in. Your toes are curling from the pressure alone, but you refuse to make any noise about it; you’re not going to stroke his ego anymore. You can handle him putting it in-

"I'm gonna eat your ass-- is that cool?"

Makki doesn't wait for a reply. The sloppy wet prod of his tongue against your skin is the breaking point. It feels strange and wrong in the most delightful ways and your body absolutely betrays you again; your head is absolutely swimming as you bump and grind into both men, taking more cock than you can handle as Makki defiles you-

“Yeah, squeeze tight,” Mattsun is jerking his hips up, driving into you with short strokes, “Holy shit, girl, you’re gonna make me look fucking stupid-- squeeze, that’s it--”

“I'm going to fuck you the second Issei is done with you, I swear to god--”

That sounds good to you. That sounds very good. You hum a little agreement, and Makki just laughs.

Hands are pressing down on your hips and you swat at the brunette in panic-- only to realize it’s not his hands that are rushing you. Makki, as he sucks and slobbers, is urging you down faster and faster, trying to get your hips against his friend’s. You try and obey, letting him greedily force you down, but a sharp twist of a cramp slowly starts to twist inside you.

“Hiro--” Mattsun sucks air through his teeth, eyes screwed tight, “Hiro, youch, she’s full. I’m touching her cervix.”

Your hips feel like they are miles away from Issei’s. Holy shit. Holy shit. It should be illegal to be that long. It hurts, it makes your insides twist--

But, damn, you kind of like it.

You press up on to your knees and sink down again, locking into the gentlest of rhythms. The aching slow movement is enough to make your body spark, electricity thrumming through your core and up your spine. The man under you can only watch, those puppy dog eyes wider and wetter with every stroke. Eventually he starts moving with you, bucking up into your cunt hesitantly.

The two loudest, most annoying men in your life are now silent, too focused on you to do anything else. All three of you just sort of click into a groove, grinding and bucking and loving and squeezing, your body coiling tighter and tighter, every muscle twitching and tense with need-

Somehow, you don’t cum first. Mattsun’s hands are suddenly everywhere, gripping your ass and rolling your nipple under his thumb. He fucks up into you hard and that sharp cramp returns, followed by a familiar pooling, wet warmth right against your deepest parts. You can feel the throb of his cock as he unloads, giving you every fucking drop he can. Issei’s lips are parts with effort, teeth marks imprinted on his lower vermillion. There’s almost a haze to his eyes, caught in his pleasure and still looking for you.

“Oh, shit-” he hisses mindlessly, “Oh, fuck, shit--”

It’s dripping from you and down Makki’s chin.

“You on birth control?” Issei asks weakly, all tension drained from his body.

“It’s a bit late to ask that,” Makki chimes in. The thinner man pushes you forward, shifting your weight onto your hands. Like this, Issei’s softening cock can’t stay in- it slides out with a dribble. Mattsun is now so much closer now, his face nearly nuzzling yours. Your eyes meet his, dark and tired, and you’re struck by the urge to kiss him properly.

You’re then struck by the sudden sensation of being stuffed.

Despite their teasing earlier, Hanamaki is //not// small. He's not inhumanely big like Mattsun, but you're aware of every inch, pressing almost as deep as before. The squelch of cum being displaced from you is loud and disgusting, but all three of you reveal in the sound.

“God, I love a fresh fucked pussy,” he coos. “You’re gaping and messy, baby.”

Where Mattsun moved slow, Makki does not. He's rutting into you hard, pushing you into Mattsun's chest. The man below you kisses your cheek with a laugh, clearly enjoying the faces you're making. You're wet down to your knees, smeared with a mixture of bodily fluids, and it offers no resistance for Makki as he enjoys himself.

It's like you're a toy, being used just for him pleasure, and you're body can't get enough.

“You gonna cum?” Mattsun asks mockingly. He just enjoy the sight, watching your tits hang against his chest. You almost say no, even though you're dangerously close to the edge again. “Ah, don't rush yourself. Hiro can last all night if you need it.”

“Hm, I'm just trying to give you some time to recover before round two,” Oh, you hate that he doesn't even sound phased, “I'm pacing myself.”

“Oh yeah?” Mattsun says.

Makki thrusts even harder, accenting his words. “How else are we supposed to go all night?

[themollyzone]

before december gets too long

I love love love December for the end of year feeling. Not in the "top 10 albums of the year" feeling but more of a general reflective wrapping up and looking ahead. I take the New Year very seriously and believe it can offer up the elusive New Me.

One thing I always do in December is clean out my emails and all the files on my computer. It's a compulsive-ish habit but it makes me feel great. Likewise I deep-clean the apartment. If I'm really on top of it, I'll do a tarot reading, but I just got a real doozy of a reading at my birthday party that I'm still chewing on — specifically an 8 of Cups I'm trying to masticate until it gels with the vision I have for my future. Don't cry over spilled milk, they say, but what about a missing cup? Where the fuuuck did I put that cup??

I feel like I'm exiting 2022 in a state of pleasant disillusionment. The vibe is very strawberry fields / nothing is real / nothing to get hung about. When I was in high school I needed to mark my territory to feel like I existed. I had light blue high top Converse sneakers—I was trying to be punk, but light blue was apparently my favorite colorway....girl why....—and my friend and I wrote song lyrics on them in black Sharpie. You know how it is. One of the lyrics I wrote was "living is easy with eyes closed" because I thought it was deep as hell. Now the verse I'm stuck on is this one:

I had a couple of lucid dreams this year for the first time ever, which was nuts. Each time I realized I was dreaming, the first thought that ran through my brain was: ok now I can do anything I want, and it won't matter, because it's not real. I won't tell you what I did, of course. Nunya bizness! Taking acid in the 1960s must have been pretty nuts too. One minute you're eating some kind of green bean casserole prescribed to you by the Campbell's soup company, the next, the entire world has turned into an Impressionist painting before your eyes. It is much harder to take the concept of "reality" seriously when you're on psychedelics. All you can do is hope you know when it's a dream.

At the end of February, I was taking a train from Virginia back home to New York and feeling sad and not very useful. I should get a job, I thought, a real one, one job with one boss. I was feeling burnt out on freelancing and insecure about my technical skills. So I found a job, and that job has turned out to be one of the silliest patches of employment I've ever experienced. I can't even get into it but it's just more proof that nothing is real—certainly not employment, certainly not my type of employment.

"I hear you're buying a synthesizer and an arpeggiator and are throwing your computer out the window because you want to make something real." What prize do Chris and I win for being the most enthusiastic receivers of the message of "Losing My Edge" at the AmEx LCD Soundsystem gig? A pretty nice tote bag and a horse kick hangover. I could never throw my computer out the window. You can make real stuff on the computer! I swear I do it all the time.

When I was in Prospect Park on a gray and wet day, hunting down Peter Steele's special dedicated tree, I had the stoned thought that my personal artist statement might be something like "bringing the internet to real life and vice versa." It was tickling me that I was on a quest I was posting about on the internet, but I was also literally touching grass while on the quest. I cannot be totally on the computer all the time or I'll freak out, but there is no arguing that the computer is pretty important to what (I think) I do. It all interconnects: I'll email someone to interview them, and then I'll meet them in real life, and they'll recommend something for me to read, and the reading inspires me to look something up, and then I talk about it with other people, either online or in person, on and on, online and not.

I'm currently blogging on a mechanical keyboard I recently bought because I followed someone on TikTok who was into mechanical keyboard modding and I'm always looking for uh...new ways to type. It lights up in beautiful unicorn colors, but more importantly, it's loud as hell. I thought it might help to engage the ego when I'm making stuff for the internet. I clack therefore I am. I have some big plans for next year and I'm simply going to need a super loud keyboard for them.

[husbandohunter]

You know ur small predicament post?? you should make a reverse version where s/o is smaller!

A Smaller Predicament [Genshin Impact x Smol!Reader]

Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo

Synopsis: Not only did you shrink, you went pocket sized as well!

(A sequel to "A Small Predicament")

(A/n): Sorry for the long wait anon, and I kind of added a twist to the scenario for more diversity hahaha hope you don't mind >_<. And why is Childe the poster boy for this series lmao.

------------

Childe

When Childe walks in, he doesn't see you....until he looked down. He almost crunched you beneath his feet if it weren't for your constant flailing of arms and screeching voice. He blanks out for a hot minute as you clung onto his toes, doesn't dare to move an inch because he's so petrified (even though there's nothing to be afraid of??). But honestly if Childe moved right now, he might accidentally flail you to the side and that's the last thing he wants.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU??" He screamed so loud it nearly blew you out of proportion. Seems like he's going to have alot of adjusting to do. Childe is a tall man (canonically the tallest) and he knows how impulsive he can get which is why he bought a handmade dollhouse from one of the Liyue merchants for you to stay in.

Though there's something about your tiny size that makes his heart flutter. With your face so small with a pair of eyes far too big, *clutches chest* "My oujo-chan is so cute" -Childe probably. He won't stop saying them over again and you were growing tired of his gushing reactions. He can't help it. He wants to spoil you rotten. You fit right onto the flat of his palms, the way you just snuggle up againts his finger and he just- swoons, might tear up (bruh).

Toys may be for kids but for Childe it was now his favourite pass time. While you navigate around the wooden dollhouse, he pitches in by moving around the furniture to make it easier for you. Offers to carry you through the rooms like a personal elevator. And please, please let him tuck you to bed. He has to pinch his fingers to grab the blanket. It's so adorable to him.

Loves it when you snuggle up against his collar. He thinks it would be the best area for you to be nearby him since the risk of you getting hit by anything (or him) by accident is very slim chance. Sometimes he pulls up his collar so that you're more comfortable and cradled within. He would have to avert his eyes down rather than turning his head if he wanted to look at you otherwise you'd be hit by his chin and that would hurt.

The poking sensation with you by his neck can bother him since he's veeeery tickilish there. Plus, Childe can get easily sweaty so have fun with that.

You have a feeling that he wasn't so pleased when you transformed back. You might be right. Actually, you are right. He secretly has an extra potion hidden somewhere...just in case.

Diluc

Mortified, his soul just left his body. To think things couldn't get any worse ever since he turned into a child to the point no one took him seriously, now you're literally the size of an apple. Oh god what if his bird suddenly swoops in and gobbles you right up? Or the wrath of the wind comes by, swirling you away towards a tornado. Needless to say, Diluc grew paranoid over your well-being ever since.

Due to your extremely small size, he will ensure that you are supervised by him (except at night where he has places to go). In otherwords, you're slipped into the inner pocket of his coat. It's super warm, you can fall asleep (and feel his heartbeat awww). Diluc doesn't like keeping you in places where people can see you, it would be too easy for outer things to access your tiny form (or maybe he secretly likes the feeling of you in his pocket.)

And he's such a gentleman about it. You noticed how careful he moves among his footsteps because he's worried that you might get dizzy. Diluc guards the pocket at close parameter, keeping an eye on things so he won't bump into them. As if he was treading on thin ice (you even suggested it was best to leave you home but he's too overprotective for his own good).

You're like his little assistant. Diluc does so much paperwork through out the day and although the act was small, he finds it endearing how you would help bring the papers back to it's rightful pile or pushing the ink bowl towards him. Or during his shifts at Angel's Share, crawling around the glass utensils and trying to find a specific wine beverage on his shelf. Of course that only happens when the shop is closed, how is he going to explain to his patrons that you shrank and now live in his pocket?

He dislikes the thought of you wandering too far. It's so easy for you to get lost especially when the mansion is so large.

At night you now sleep atop the fluff of the pillow. Diluc is a calm sleeper so he won't have to worry about hitting into you. However he radiates warmth so you just subconicously roll towards to his face. He usually wakes up with you sprawled over his nose. He can hardly breath (careful, he might just sneeze too).

This all happened because of the experiements you participated with Albedo. Diluc ensures that doesn't happen again. It will take some tencaious effort to convince him otherwise.

Scaramouche

Fuck this guy. He treats you like his new pet, a new toy (though you technically are one). He has this arrogant, smug and sadistic look as if he was a predator looking at his prey and grabs you by the collar before dangling you up in the air.

"Hmph, looks like the tables have turned," he says while toying with your state. You tell him he's just angry because he's short himself and mad that everyone else in the Fatui organization is taller than him. Scaramouche demon face activated. He's about to devour you. (Maybe you should keep your mouth shut this time. Honestly your relationship with him is pretty weird).

His hat is so fun to play with. You'd swing around like Tarzan using the strings that were hanging from it. His head was your playground now which annoys him to an enourmous extent because it makes him look ridiculous. Scaramouche will have a hard time catching you since you move around so much. Climb around him, especially the back of his neck. He'll start wheezing when you tickle him there.

The type to put you in a box but also the type to keep you on his shoulders. Being relied on makes him feel taller (lmfao). Scaramouche seemse to have developed a habit to poke your cheeks whenever he needed your attention and you bit him back once when he pushed too hard that you nearly fell off. Despite your size, your teeth still hurt. He threatens to put you back into the box if you don't behave and the outcome ends with a full out brawl as he tries to grab you again while you run around, pulling the strands of his hair to climb on top of his hat. (This is literally Tom and Jerry wtf.)

After transforming back, he outwardly admits his disappointmen. Scaramouche says it suits you better (when he actually meant that he highly prefers you small). You marked his words, keeping an extra vial for your own entertainment in the near future.

Xiao

Xiao was face-palming against his forehead real hard about this. For the love of Rex Lapis, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time? First it was the child incident, now you're the size of his finger? Good grief, looks like he will have to keep an eye on you from now on but at the same time he's scared to get too close, you are nothing but a tiny mortal in which he would have to double his effort to look after.

He lets you sit at the crown of his head rather than anywhere else. You insisted since it was easier to see everything at a nice distance (plus he's short so you won't have to worry about him bumping into door frames). You noticed that Xiao also has a little strand sticking out from the center (ahoge) and you sometimes grab onto it for stability. Turns out he's quite sensitive there and winces when you pull too hard.

For the remaining week as the antedote was being prepared, Xiao became extremely aggressive over your well-being, he looks as if he's ready to massacre everything in his way...which he did. Clears out the monsters off the path before going on daily strolls with you, you wouldn't have to lift a finger from now on. No one except for him is allowed to hold you unless they're a trustworthy person. You could feel his sharp eyes glued on you like a hawk when walking into the grasp of Zhongli's hand.

You once accidentally tripped into his almond tofu when he wasn't looking and he almost ate you. Turns out being small made his job as your gaurdian ten times harder (especially when you're the clumsy type). If you were to fall off the table, he would have to catch you right? Xiao often bumps into furnitures in the process...ouch!

He's very soft. It's all over his forehead, his mouth, his eyes. When he looks at you, his tense eatures melted away and there's an invisible fondness over them as he cradles you in his palm. The way you snuggle in them is lke the most precious thing in the world.

When you turn back, there's a wave of relief. He was really stressed out you know?

Zhongli

His first thought is to get you as far as he can from the Funeral Parlour before Hu Tao finds you. Who knows what that child might have in mind. Zhongli takes one of his empty tea pots and urges you to go inside, or carries a tea cup with you in it, he likes placing you on objects while carrying you around.

Zhongli realizes that you can no longer use the household items like before so he has to remake them to your standards- especially when he realized he doesn't have the mora to buy you a dollhouse. He improvises. Takes a handkerchief to make your blanket, his cups for your bathtub, Zhongli had to cut the foot into byte-sized too. But in terms of clothes, well he had to make them as well. Living thousands of years would mean he would have lot of experience. Sewing was one of them luckily. But that would mean he has to take your measurements as well. In the end, most of the things he made were dresses since they were alot easier.

You like to sneak in between his shirt and his vest tucked behind the coat he wears. Unfortunately Zhongli doesn't seem to have visible pockets (most likely the reason why he doesn't carry mora either), though if you don't hold on tight you might just slip down his vest and right to his stomach. It makes him chuckle when that happens even if the amount of effort to get you out took more than he thought since his attire is quite complicated to put on. If you really want to climb on him, he'll find a seperate pouch (but realizes it won't be a good idea when there's alot of pick-pocketers in Liyue streets).

All of a sudden he reads you bedtime stories. It's some sort of inner instinct that tells him he's taking care of a child now (he's right though). You realized that his voice was equivalent to a thunder's roar due to size difference. He would have to whisper now.

It will always be part of his precious memories when you turned pocket-sized. Zhongli still keeps the clothing he made somewhere in his closets too.

Kaeya

Amused by this eventful situation. Absolutely thrilled! He's not evil like Scaramouche but this new version of his s/o is both adorable and fun at the same time. You're so easy to tickle, just one poke using his finger against your hips makes you yelp. Sometimes he twirls your hair or taps your forehead gently despite your protest, he's so handsy like always in an affectionate yet annoying way.

Kaeya picks you up and places you among the fluffy comfort of his feathery scarf. You sneezed, the last time he cleaned it was before he went on a mission with the knights. Though you have to admit, it's the best feeling in the world. It's so soft you might sink deeper into the fabric. He likes to put you in places where he can talk to you easily, sometimes on the table while he downs on his wine. Normally you have to take the bottle away before it gets too much, now you have to push it away which he finds very entertaining at your futile attempts.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" you tell him. Since you turned byte-sized, he can't seem to stop playing around. Takes his two fingers and pretends they're legs walking across the surface. You would turn around and he halts, Kaeya sends you his signature grin. When he promises that he wouldn't do anything funny, you would let him hold you. Since hugs are out of the equation, Kaeya gives you his finger instead to wrap your arms around. He can't get enough seeing you like this, things he couldn't do when you were normal-sized. he enjoys your reactions way too much.

His favourite pass time is helping you brush your hair because the hairbursh is too big for you to handle. Kaeya ensure he's handling things delicately but he would love to help style it for you as well. Pretty please? At this point one request turns to another because he's having way too much fun. But it couldn't be helped since you would need his assistance in almost everything so there's really no escaping.

You were so happy when things were normal again but Kaeya would bring this up again during your conversations (how next time he would like to put you in his drinks while you're wearing a swim suit).

Albedo

Legit blurted out if he could put you on a hamster wheel.

What about trying out the little maze he just made?

Or participating in a race against slimes of different elements?

No? Okay, then he'll just turn you back.

Albedo isn't going deal with this as along as he can help it (especially when he remembers what Klee did to him when he turned small.)

[sunwoo-hoo]

↣ kevin moon ☽ as your boyfriend

↳ a/n: hello lovelies! here we go! this is the headcanon for the moonlight boy himself kevin! this is for you anon. I hope you enjoy it! please, if your under the age of 18 do not interact with this post.

↳ genre: fluff, smut, angst??

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 839

↳ kevin moon x fem reader

↳ General

COMEDIC DUO

your so lucky to have a guy like kevin in your life 

your relationship is very laid back and easy going

he’s the type who doesn’t care if you wear makeup or if you walk out the house in sweatpants

to him your perfect regardless 

your relationship is very effortless

it’s non stop laughs whenever your around him

he the type to text you memes while your sitting right next to each other 

“babe look at this real quick” he laughed barely holding it together

the type to do a double date with jacob and his s/o 

but you also have one on one dates which include late night driving blasting your favorite music singing together

would probably eat at a late night drive thru 

family is really important to kevin so he would definitely want to show you where he grew up in vancouver 

meeting his family in the process

his love language is definitely words of affirmation

he loves it when you tell him he’s doing a good job or when you leave little notes for him to find 

he greatly appreciates you

he’s definitely teaching you how to play piano 

at first you think he’s going to teach you classical pieces but it’s literally all beyonce 

he’s always singing all of me to you by john legend

he loves it when you kiss his nose finding it adorable

he’s then giving you all the jawline kisses

you love stealing his clothes especially his hoodies because it smells like him

he doesn’t mind at all in fact he encourages you to wear his clothes

he secretly loves to draw you when you aren’t looking

you have the type of relationship where everyone thinks your similar to each other 

basically the boy/girl version of each other

your two peas in pod 

together your both unstoppable there’s nothing you can’t do

↳ Fights

kevin is big on communicating so he’ll probably want to have a rational discussion before things escalate too quickly into a fight

he’s also not the type to waste his energy over the little things

so fighting with him is rare to nonexistent 

the only time you do ‘fight’ it’s probably because he’s saying something sarcastic and hurt your feelings without realizing

“damn babe, you know i was just joking right? i didn’t mean for it to come out that way. can you forgive me?” he pouted

you rolled eyes playfully before replying “ugh fine..” you teased sticking your tongue out 

next thing you know he’s giving you all the tickles by your ribs while your laughing uncontrollably 

↳ Making Up

if the fight was somewhat bad he’s definitely the type to try to laugh about it afterwards with you

or is finding ways to make you laugh like watching funny youtube compilations that may or may not include animals

he’s definitely cuddling you giving you all neck and cheek kisses 

playing with your hair

↳ Sex

switch™ 2.0 

definitely the type to have music in the background while you two are fucking

he secretly loves it when you dom him because he loves giving all the power to you

definitely tie him up and give him the teasing blowjobs

“fuck babe, don’t tease me i need you right now, please..” he moaned

he loves it when your on top because he can grab your hips and thrust in a precise angle which hits your g-spot perfectly making you cum 

you hear all the praise coming from him 

“yeah fuck, hop on my cock.. just like that.. your doing such a good job” 

you’ll definitely have toys in the bedroom kevin is not afraid to experiment 

he loves it when you pull his hair especially when he’s fucking you, please give him all the praise back 

“god kevin i-i’m gonna cum soon your so fucking big” you cried out 

he’s in love with your breasts so expect a lot of breast fucking with his cock between them

when kevin dom’s he’s an entirely different person 

will usually dom when he’s feeling stressed or overworked 

praise goes out the window it’s nothing but dirty talk

“get on your fucking knees and suck this cock” he snapped

“yes sir” you replied looking up at him with doe eyes

definitely will have some light choking covering your mouth to muffle your moans 

as he’s trusting into you deeply and sloppily 

he loves to cum on your breast or lips

when it’s all over he’s collapsing on the bed beside you giving you a high-five with a quick peck on your lips 

telling you that it was amazing and that he loves you

↳ Aftercare

your both cuddling for awhile not wanting to move from your spot until kevin suggests that you should clean yourselves up

your then taking a bath together just enjoying each other’s company

until you finally head to bed where he’s playing a lullaby on his piano in your shared bedroom waiting for you to fall asleep before joining you 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[the-stage-manager]

I'm??? Losing my shit?? I LOVE rats, I'm obsessed with them. And this??? This I love. Rats and clones have SO much in common. Here are some fun rat facts:

- Short life spans. Rats only live 2 years on average. To compensate for this, they have a lot of babies. That's why they make the ideal test subject in medicine because they grow so quickly and reproduce so fast. Female rats can start giving birth at only 6 weeks old!!

- They're extremely intelligent. Like. Frighteningly intelligent. Deadass, they taught a rat to drive a car and it only took six weeks. Six weeks to teach a rat how to operate the gas and the breaks and the steering wheel!! They can navigate mazes in their little rat cars! No, seriously, it's freaky how intelligent they are. There was a video going around of a wild rat who avoided a trap by triggering the trap with a stick and scurrying off with the bait.

- Surprisingly clean. For all the messes they cause elsewhere, they keep their nests shockingly clean, and prefer to urinate and dedicate elsewhere. They spend a huge chunk of their waking hours grooming each other. Did you know that rats bury their dead? It's more likely a cleanliness thing than a grieving thing, but still.

- They are social and empathetic. Like EXTREMELY social. Like, if you keep pet rats you have to get at least 2 because a rat by itself will get depressed. Even though the buriel is done to keep diseases at bay, rats do grieve.

- Their senses are incredible, especially their sense of smell. You know how in Ratatouille Remy's sense of smell was so good they used him to smell for poison? Well, that's a real thing. Their senses of smell are CRAZY good and they learn quickly enough that they'll start to recognize the smell of poison. Not only that, but Giant African Rats use their sense of smell to detect landmines. Again, this is a real, actual job that rats perform. They detect landmines and it works because they're too light to trigger the mines. I found a study where they taught rats to identify the smell of lung cancer and the rats had a 93% efficiency rate. Which is CRAZY.

- Rats can chew through anything. ANYTHING. They've been known to chew through concrete. CONCRETE.

- They're insanely adaptable. The whole reason why rats are such a problem in urban areas is because they are literally intelligent enough to compete with humans for territory. Which... Which is crazy. Not only are they able to survive in urban ecosystems, their unique abilities allow them to thrive.

- have I mentioned the climbing yet? Rats are insanely good climbers. Like, it's bonkers how good at climbing rats are. They're also extremely effective swimmers, and their whiskers are extremely sensitive, which allows them to navigate twists and turns with ease. This is how rats are literally able to crawl up and out of toilets. Seriously, rats can tread water for three days straight and can hold their breath for 3 minutes. They can fall up to 50 feet (5 fucking stories!) and land uninjured. Rats can jump 36 inches vertically and 48 inches horizontally.

- rats enjoy being tickled and they actually giggle if you tickle them. It's too high pitched to be heard by the naked ear but it has been documented.

In conclusion: give the boys rats your honor.

Howdy!!! I love your art!

I have a quick question: When the bad batch kept a bear for a pet, where did it go to the bathroom??? Did they train it to use the toilet? It's a pretty small ship, and I can imagine the poop smelling horrid. (Especially for Hunter)

Unrelated, but I can see the bad batch having a pet raccoon after having a pet bear. After seeing your fanart and headcanon about the bear, in my mind I've decided that they have a pet raccoon. That seems like something they would do.

Sorry for the random thought about the raccoon. Thanks for your time!!!

I never really thought about logistics of having a bear on a small vessel like Havoc Marauder. Also, let's face it - the ship's layout is not... consistent throughout TCW & TBB... so there could always be a cargo hold we're not aware of.

As for the second part of the ask - I think Clone Force 99 had many pets, big and small, thought out their career and space!racoon as well as a space!goose could be one of them. They always end up releasing the animals into the wild or finding them proper homes.

I think the main "can we keep it?" instigator is definitely Wrecker.

In Hyperspace stories #10 comics it was noted the big guy collects plushies (or at least tries to) - it could be a substitute of owning a real pet for him.

Sorry for such a late reply, @mishakoon!

---

The OP is referencing those posts of mine: ->[LINK]<- ->[LINK]<-

===

STAR WARS: The Clone Wars/The Bad Batch © George Lucas/ Dave Filoni/ LucasFilm/ Disney

[realcube]

msby boys finding out their s/o is pregnant

navi | masterlist | taglist  

thank you to anon for this wholesome request 

content warning ♡ pregnant! reader, sexual references, swearing & fluff

characters ♡ sakusa, atsumu, bokuto & hinata

kiyoomi sakusa 

♡ he faltered

♡ there was half a minute of silence between the two of you; him just staring at your stomach while you gazed into his eyes

♡ he was almost certain that he misheard you, so he felt inclined to inquire, ‘huh?’ as indifferently as he could, though he wasn’t doing a good job of concealing the shocked expression on his face 

♡ ‘i said i’m pregnant, sweetie.’ you giggled, admiring the emotions he displayed on his face as it wasn’t a sight you got to see often

♡ sakusa continued to stare at you, eyes wide 

♡ though he knew what you meant, apart of him insisted that he was mishearing you 

♡ his wide-eyes were fixated on you, his lips slightly agape as he tried to process what you just said and what this meant for the both of you 

♡ the only emotion you could read of his face was shock. at first, you were sure that he was happy but he was just taking a while to accept it, but now that a few minutes had passed and he was still yet to say anything or even smile, you were starting to second guess yourself

♡ despite the fact sakusa had already agreed that he was on board with the idea of having a child many times before - in fact, there were nights where he’d admit that he can’t wait to start a family with you - but you still worried that perhaps he has now that had a change of heart

♡ that was until you noticed his eyes become unusually glossy and red, along with his cheeks adapting a somewhat red tint, ‘if this is a joke, (y/n), it’s not funny.’ his ordinary, monotone voice was now slightly shaky and low 

♡ ‘it’s not a joke, ‘iyoomi.’ you laughed, feeling your own throat go dry and your cheek flare up upon seeing how emotional sakusa had become

♡ before the tears spilled from your eyes, you felt sakusa’s arms slowly snake around your waist, place an elongated kiss on your forehead then rest his chin on your shoulder 

♡ he held you close enough that you could feel his rapid heartbeat thud against your chest and his wobbly breath tickle the back of your neck

♡ he stayed like that, silent, for a good few minutes 

♡ when he finally pulled away to admire your stomach, you noticed how his damp cheeks glistened in the light and you couldn’t help but smile

♡ although he wasn’t very vocal about how happy he was, his actions spoke a thousand words

♡ he’d insist in home-cooking all your food now because he didn’t want to risk you getting food poisoning 

♡ when he’d come home from practise, absolutely exhausted, the first thing he’d do when he gets home is  wash his hands then cut you some fruit 

♡ when he has free-time, he used to just watch TV but now he’s picked up a few hobbies of reading childcare books, tending to your every need/want and researching good baby names

♡ also, he’s so gentle with you - like, he was gentle with you before but this is a new extreme

♡ excluding the time he almost tackled you to the ground when you suggested atsumu as a baby name

♡ like he baby-proofs the house like a month into your pregnancy lmao 

kōtarō bokuto

♡ the corners of his lips slowly curl into a bright smile, ‘pregnant?’

♡ you cocked your head to the side slightly, then hummed, ‘yeah. pregnant.’

♡ ‘like..with a kid?’

♡ you snorted, playfully rolling your eyes, ‘i’d hope so.’

♡ ‘like..with my kid?’

♡ ‘our kid - but yes.’

♡ a while passed and he had yet to do anything besides stare at you in pure adoration so you prompted him by opening your arms 

♡ to which he immediately responded by throwing himself onto you, ‘I’m gonna be a dad?! like seriously?!’

♡ luckily you were sitting on your bed so you fell back onto that but you were still being smothered by his chest 

♡ ‘bo!’ you squealed and squirmed under his weight and tight grip, glad that he was as cheery as you had hoped but not appreciating being suffocated 

♡ he suddenly pulled away but kept his large hands glued to your shoulders, revealing the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks and dampened your shirt, ‘really?!’

♡ ‘yes, bokuto. i am 100% pregnant.’ you declared for the final time before bokuto cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in to a passionate kiss, not stopping until your lips were basically swollen

♡ he’s just so hyped during the first few days of your pregnancy and he’s just super duper ready to become a dad!

♡ like he’s already practising his dad jokes 

♡ but then you remind him that he’s gonna have to wait around 9 months before he can actually see his baby and his hair literally deflates 

♡ ugh how rude of you 

♡ can you not like...make it grow faster?? please??

♡ once you explain to him that’s not how babies work, he kinda accepts it and just focuses his attention on you

♡ he kinda does some research on babies/pregnancy but not prior, he just does a quick google search when he needs to 

♡ but the intention is definitely there bc he googles the most trivial of things like ‘what to make pregnegant ppl for breakfast?’

♡ ‘what do pragnant ppl need from the supermarket?’

♡ ‘can my pregenunt wife have peanut butter?’

♡ ‘how to spell preaignant’ 

atsumu miya 

♡ DEEP denial

♡ he thinks you are playing a prank on him bc you don’t ‘look pregnant’

♡ even when you show him your positive pregnancy test he’s like ‘and how much did that cost?’

♡ he deadass acts as if he wasn’t the one who’s been trying to get you pregnant and raving on about how much he wants a family with you for the last few months 

♡ but he just doesn’t want to believe you bc he know he’ll get way too happy for his own good and he’s afraid to be let down

♡ plus, it was one of those ‘a blessing of this magnitude couldn’t have happened to me - of all people - so this is probably either a cruel joke or a hallucination.’ moments 

♡ he’s just so far gone that after your eleventh attempt at trying to convince him that you’re pregnant for real, you just give up

♡ so y’all just go around your business somewhat normally - except atsumu was more skittery - until your baby bump started to become more prominent

♡ one day, he came back from practise, noticed your bump and pulled you into the most passionate, heartfelt kiss before placing a gentle kiss upon your stomach, a buoyant grin gracing his features

♡ though he doesn’t say much since he is at a loss for words, he mutters a few sweet nothings into your ear as he carries you to the bedroom

♡ for a joke, he pretends to be gutted if you’re libido production decrease but really, he couldn’t care less

♡ but if it increases tho- 

♡ expect him to take full advantage of that 

♡ also, if he didn’t already treat you like his goddess, he does now 

♡ work has moved down his list of priorities and you + his baby are now at number one 

♡ usually he keeps his phone on silent/stuffs it into his bag while he is practising but now he insists on keeping it on full volume, out on the bench, just in case you call him for an emergency 

♡ same goes for texts; he will literally stop mid-set to rush over to his phone if he hears it vibrate 

♡ bokuto thinks it’s sweet but the rest of them get pretty annoyed of his antics quite quickly but whenever they try to call him out on it, he’s like ‘is your wife 6 months pregnant? no! i didn’t think so. i should be on paternity leave right now so be glad i’m blessing you with my presence.’

shōyō hinata

♡ he cannot stop thanking you

♡ as if you’re doing him a favour, which - depending on how you view it - you are

♡ he’s literally on his knees with his hands clasped together, tears of joy streaming down his face as he looks up at you in pure adoration, ‘thank you, (y/n)!’

♡ you tilted your head to the side and stared at him with a perplexed expression, ‘you’re welcome?’

♡ it’s a while before he moves from that position but when he does, it’s only so he can press his ear against your stomach to see if he can hear the baby 

♡ ‘shō, i don’t think it’s body has even formed ye--’

♡ ‘shh! it’s speaking to me.’ he chuckled then proceeded to squeeze his eyes shut, intensely listening to whatever the baby had to say 

♡ you quirked a brow, waiting for him to finish and once he did, he sprung to his feet and threw his arms over your shoulders to pull you in for a hug - in which he had to stop himself from squeezing you too tightly in fear of hurting you, as if pregnancy meant that your bones were now made of glass

♡ he’s just so happy that you agreed to bear his children 🙏

♡ also, seeing how excited you were to tell him about your pregnancy really prompted him to step up his husband-game 

♡ from now on, he loads the dishwasher, does both of your laundry, cleans the house on his own and cooks most of the food 

♡ he acts as if being pregnant means you are no longer able to do basic tasks but his real motive behind doing these things was not only to take the pressure off of you but to also prepare himself for father life 👍

♡ also, to prepare him for shopping for his kids’ clothes, he goes out and buys you maternity wear 

♡ he does this like...3 weeks into your pregnancy though so the clothes just sit and catch dust until a few months later when you actually need them 

♡ and although he is a bit of a pain to go stroller/pram shopping with (he just says buy whichever one goes the fastest), you let him take the reins when it came to buying/preparing the baby’s room and it came out beautiful!

♡ like the cradle was good quality and firm, the rug wouldn’t irritate the baby’s skin, the walls were painted expertly and the plushies/toys he picked out - unbeknownst to you at the time - kept the baby entertained for ages

♡ oh and no matter what day/week/month you are in of pregnancy, he will always look at you and your bump with the same amazement and gratitude as he did the first time you told him

[90363462]

How To Have Good Head Game - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty

Sheriden ChanelOct. 23, 2015 07:09PM EST

OK ladies, let's be real. Nobody really enjoys giving oral sex ALL the time. Holding your mouth in that infamous o-shape for longer than a few minutes will have even the best personal head doctors checking the clock for their break time. But it's no secret that most men love oral sex. Not only because it feels so damn good to them, but also because it's a sexual act that is completely selfless. While you're on your knees and/or getting a slight tickle at the back of your throat, the red light special is really all about him. Baby, he's yours. For me, that feeling of power has always been enough to make me find pleasure in my partner's solo excursion. However, I confess that once the newness of your taste begins to stale, my head gets a little out of the game.

That same fervor and passion that was there every time shows its face every now and again, but not nearly as often. Head before, head after, head three times a day, but twice on Sunday is the pattern my long-term partner likes for me to showcase along his length. Admittedly, I've cut my eyes a few time upon hearing a request or when I know I've done a particularly amazing job and it glistens with my work, just so he can decide to prolong his orgasm and have me repeat my efforts once more. That gets on my last nerves. Alas, the thing I called a hobby drifts into chore territory. I've discovered a few tricks of the blowjob trade that works to iron out the kinks of monotony.

Some ways that I keep oral sex fresh include:

Making It About Me

Hearing what I do, seeing what I do, feeling what I do to a man is something that makes me aware of my power and proves to be the thing that turns me on. Although oral sex is a very selfless act, there is a way to be selfish in the midst of all of your giving. Pleasure yourself while you pleasure him. My vibrator is my best friend when it comes to sex toys, and I don't mind utilizing her on myself while I pleasure him. If not that, a hand can do the trick. Your partner's wandering hand as well…

Switching It Up

Do you like to do it on your knees? Between his legs? 69? What about a combination of all three? To thwart the feeling of monotony, I like to change it up every so often – be it in a small way by changing the way I stroke or how much of it I grant entry in at a time, or be it in a much larger way by changing positions altogether (which in my opinion isn't an action to be limited to actual intercourse). My all-time favorite go-to when my mouth is tired (particularly in the mornings), is to have him set the pace by treating your mouth as he would your vagina. Talk about a turn-on.

Being Open To Experimenting

Play with different textures and different temperatures. I had an ex once who loved the feel of lace against his base. I've found that the sensation of the warmth of a mouth versus the coolness of air, or even ice that you bring inside of bowl to your bedroom can prove to be an exhilarating feeling. Take a cube of ice into your mouth and run it up and down the length of him. He won't know what to think or feel with all of the sensations he's feeling. Also, don't be afraid to experiment with edibles; just be wary of what you allow to enter your body afterwards. Yeast infections know no bounds.

Playing With the Balls In My Court

There is a very tender part of the male anatomy that is often ignored. Leave his penis for a while and travel further down south. Lick the space in between them. Don't suck on them like you would his penis, but instead focus on purposeful tongue movements and gentle sucking. I like to compare it to our clitoris. Due to sensitivity, less is always more. The response will be immediate, you'll literally have him quaking for more.

How do you keep your oral sex life passionate and exciting?

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[angstfactory]

It was wholly inappropriate, the way a suspicious snort -- maybe half giggle? -- escaped only to quickly be covered by just as sudden a clearing of her throat and a hand that came up to swipe the tickle under her nose. This whole situation... Neylani found it absurd. The fact she had to sit down a man how much older than herself, and treat him like the damned irresponsible child... Especially when it wasn't like they were family, or even real friends, were they? Ney racked her brain-- it wasn't like either of them had taken a moment out of their day to ever once sit down to share a real conversation, or laugh, or enjoy each other's company. No, every interaction with this bastard centered around this bullshit. His problems, his drinking, his countless arrests (not to mention the fair share she had saved him from).

She went out of her way, to try and help this person who was a veritable nobody in her own life. He didn't even care about anything but booze and sex, and maybe on occasion his own starved-for-his-attention children. And now he had the damned nerve, to stand in her kitchen after sleeping in her bed, prepared a warm meal by her hand, wearing her brother's clothes, and tell her she had no right to do any of this? No, he had never asked for her help, and he had often didn't thank her for it, either. Sometimes, though, people helped each other to help each other, because it was just the right thing to do.

The sheriff also abandoned her breakfast and stood, to match him on level. They all had their moments of being thoughtless, selfish, irresponsible, and temperamental people-- emotions happened, they were all entitled to them. It was natural, this immediate knee-jerk anger; she had known to expect it. Ney wasn't able to truly enforce this blacklist as she claimed -- all she could do was ask the establishments not to serve him -- but she'd rather him believe so.

"Sorry, Mr. Baudelaire," she said, a bit coolly, "but in case you missed major facts about myself, I happen to be sheriff in Raven's Peak. It's literally my job to step into people's lives." Perhaps, not in this way, but that wasn't her point. "I'm a former fighter pilot in the United States Marine Corp, and the DNA that runs through me has existed to protect this town and its residents for centuries." She circled around the table, but stopped short of approaching the other wolf, because she couldn't be sure what kind of man he was behind closed doors. Experience said to err on the side of caution even if her instincts said he wouldn't do anything to her, it wasn't a good idea to tempt it. Last thing she wanted, was for any of this to come to a physical altercation. This was for his benefit, not hers. She did, however, lean forward as her fingertips rested lightly on the table's surface as she informed, "That includes you. I can't leave behind a fallen comrade."

Now, her arms crossed over chest. "You can always walk out, I'm not going to stop you," she offered, because she wouldn't. He was not a prisoner here. "But if you really are a grown ass man, as you claim, then I'd hope you have enough respect for yourself and me, to take a moment and breathe, and understand that I'm not your enemy. In fact, I would bet I'm one of the very few in this town, that's actually in your corner, wanting to help you."

She shook her head, staring at him with open, genuine puzzlement. "Why don't you want help?" Ney pressed. "Do you like being a drunk? Do you like waking up with headaches, barely remembering any events of the night before? Do you like feeling miserable?" She didn't understand it, why someone would immediately reject something as innocent as help, unless they wanted to stay broken. Which could very well be possible. He may be intentionally doing what he could, to see himself to an early grave. "I'll give you that I don't know you intimately, we're not friends, we're not family-- I'm just some woman tries to keep you out of jail. But I was here, you know, when you were a completely different man and I don't think that man, would like the man you are today." It wasn't like she was completely clueless, she did have some insight to the matter, even she didn't have all the answers or blanks filled in. "I will never believe that the man who helped me," Ney's voice had become delicate then, as this touched upon a personal vulnerability neither of them had addressed since the festival, "is a 'bad guy'." He may not remember what he said, but she did.

Hungrily, the man stared down at the sausage and eggs just glad to have a homemade breakfast.  Although Roman was an excellent cook, the wolf hardly ever cooked anymore.  He hated cooking just for himself and he rarely could get his children to come out to the trailer and spend dinner with him.

“Talk?”

There was some vague memory of the woman mentioning the two needed to discuss something, but last night was a bit of a blur.  As he began to eat, he halted immediately when Neylani began to speak again.  The man’s grip on the fork tightened as he stared at her in disbelief.  Who the fuck does she think she is?

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Right now, it was taking every ounce of self control to control his temper.  To the point his body was shaking with rage as he continued to stare at her.

“I’ve got to stop drinking?  You need to stop fucking interfering in people’s lives.  I am a grown ass man who can make his own decisions and you have no fucking right to do this.”

Roman knew deep down he needed to get sober, he tried a few times in the past but it never lasted long.  The nightmares would return and it never seemed to make a difference in his relationships.  Finally, he just stood up and placed the fork down.

“I need to get the fuck out of here.”

[ilikelookingatthings]

I LOVE this XD

I love how you used jokes you planted in previous episodes and escalated and called back to them in this finalally. I did not expect the pizza party joke would escalate in such a way XD what a elegant way to address pizza death and have the party reapproriated by the good guys so the city still gets to enjoy it. and considering it was brought up by drepious the political holy knight partly due to him believing Bubbles his son had died(who we know lived) and how we know he was still alive somehow from that mention about seeing everything after absorbing the gray demon blood before the stupid set in XD mwah a master piece.

I love the noble stead thread and hawk literally and metaphorically carrying the team to connect with the warrior princess that will conquer all of you joke from the first joke. I like how for a second i thought elizabeth meanly just wanted to save her own skin like how she used melidoas as a shierld in episode one...just for her to genuinely believe Hawk would block the attack and defeat Hendrickson. The voice acting where she realized how much danger Hawk was in after Meliodas spelled it out for her and her calling out to Hawk....tor at my heart strings so much I almost missed the get out the way reference.

I like the name drop of someone only Ban knows in his tirade about osing everyone he loved. not only will that help for season 2 but also the emotion real got across.

Elizabeth making her weird pig squeal nose out of grief. I like the mention of how Gowther could have done more to avert the situation XD I like how King is sensative and willing to refuse to use certain forms which can explain why hedoesn't use those others forms as often in the future but also makes it funnier XD. and I like how you used his crush on Diane  were he was going to use a form he blacklisted just cuz Diane told him to.

the fact he gets bullied by Gowther to the point he wanted tp get it out of the way and he was happy tp say Gowther wasdead  and cried a bit when that wasn't the case XD I love king but you alsodo a good job of kicking him while he is down like he was partly in the show XD I like the joke about Diane getting stuck in the hole like those other times.

I really like how you kept using a hug thread through out the episode. Diane's warm hugs that no one can resist or survive. sneaky ninja hug XD E;izabeth hugging melioda(or asking him to hug her and her hugging luppy space veronica XD

 not forgetting melioda's demotion to lieutenant ex boyfriend and him getting his worthless captain boyfriend job back XD

 but we also see hints he IS falling for Elizabeth and that she does matter to him past how we know she decided this on her own withot asking before which can hint at their mysterious past XD 

 I like how Melioda was going to stop him but then erged him to go for it out of frusteration ans him not reading his clear sarcasm when he ALMOST caught that it wasn't a good idea.

 I also LOVE how the dense grey demon thing was a good way to hint that the grey demon really wasn't the demon leader at all AND make a good contrast with how smart and articulate he normally was compared to everyone else before he got that high off sweet sweet steven juice. XD AND I like that reveal after Gilthunder made a actual good speach without a clear joke in it...just foe the joke to be gilthunder was shocked by the stupidity.

 Melioda frustrated because he was so dense he didn't realize how devastated they were he killed hawk and not knowing remorse which meliodas was jealous of XD that caught my sister off guard XD 

 I like the reminder that Gilthunder has his issues still even if he is no longer actively acting...seems he method acted a bit too long XD

 the set up to the make like the ocean and makes waves and crash on that son of a BEACH XD

 thats the joke that tickled me the most XD

 I like how princess Margarete said even if she knew she isn't a snitch XD

 and its a amusing part as well since she in the actual show was the one who mentioned elkzabeth's healing powers in regards to a prank her and veronica had. so she technically did snitch. her not knowing is interesting...but also leaves open that she did partly know we wouldn't know because she wouldn't say if she did anyway XD

 I love the whole family interacting off eachoth with there most angelic of voices XD Elizabethh taking offense at the implication her regular voice isnt angelic when Diana brought it up XD also a good refernce to gilthunder about a angel with a terrible voice XD

 my sister really appreciated how you had the 'nicer' voice overlayed with Elizabeth's regular voice to show that mysterious change when the magic activated along with the slight demeanor change XD

 it certainly made makes a good reason for us to be invested in why that happened...I mean I know but my sister hasn't watched the actual show so she is a little curious now XD

 I loved Ban grieving cap cap and the implication he expects that cap cap hawk would eat ban if he died in the same way to honor him...which I think ca n also be a refernce to how pigs can and will eat some weird stuff and makes me think of how people keep bringing up haw as bacon...which now he is very cooked bacon after sving their bacon XD

 Hawk being a little snot and keeping silent tp try to weasel some promises and good things from meliodas XD

 thought he'd come back from the dead my ass XD

 the takes backsies was the CUTEST scene with his naw of sadness as being too late to call no takesies backsies XD

 my other sister awed at the part of they being the kings failures XD

 as well  at meiodas being happy about his boyfriend captain job...before she absorbed the 'worthless part' of his line XD

 I like Gowther bringing up the big hole of that country disappearing to melidas while melidas was sober.

 I love the use of MANY OF THE SIDE KNIGHTS WHO WILL never appear again but have their chance in the spot light.

 i also love how as dense as they things grey hendrickson said and how dumb and random they seemed.....if we read into them a bit (ig we are into that sort of thing...which I am) we could get a little extra depth. like him saying it was un to be alive but the water park is closed implying he thinks theyno way out and he was done playing with them. how he was dumb but still ended up making the jigsaw puzzle to help the demons come back...which could have been him just being dumb..but could also be the underlying way the demon instinctuall was helping his race even if they consider the grey demon dumb.

 no going to lie...a bit disappointed they new demons dont all have accents but I still have hope XD

 and its a good way to just speed run to what the next season will be about.

 you have somehow made Gustafe her brother one of my favorite characters XD he just wanted to die to avoid having the clean up after everyone XD

 The sleep over drawing is adorable and very in-character for everyone and I love it.

 I like Merlin maybe could have helped solve everything but she was fine with everyone putting meiodas in pain

. I like the reference of why he had the suit and the delay brought up now XD plot armour XD

 I like how you still had gowther tell us what the move of beating up meliodas an why he got super strong XD

 I like how ironically elizabth's healin powers both helped and hurt the cause XD I giggked at the peasant woulds being peasant healed and laughed out lou as the wife poisoning her husband for years and the husband getting upset he was healed on her behalf XD 

 which is a real; thing wives could and would do but now makes me wonder if thats is that couples kink of poisob with consent because he doesnt seem surprised XD

 I love  jerico calling ban a silver fox XD suits him and I like her frusteraton and slight denial of said crush XD feelings deep within her heart indeed XD

 guila rubbing it in her face she is loved and no one loves jerico that much XD

 its also funny because technically gowther CAN feel and know others thoughrs and emotions so there is a chance it wasn't just about guila knowing jerry and her being obvious XD

 the hand holding leads to baby holding XD

 Love you season finally conveniently seven years later XD and look forward to more...when ever you want to get to it...on your time XD

 since much like merlin yo must be super busy.

 I love the mini cut out of our missing sin joining the slumber party.

 and I LOVE the way you had Meliodas bring up getting him involved and how the mistake was getting him involved which honestly could have been avoided by the bad guys XD

 I also like ban bringing up how his would from Meliodas with the sword hadn't healed right as a small reminder of the sword key part that was stolen.

 I laughed at hawk bringing up how everything was wrapped up and ban bringing up there wasn't things all rapped up just for it to be about the things hawm carried about which...yeah same XD

 I also like the reminder of fuedalism and kings and illeratnes and such because kings and fuedalism has drawbacks and he is laying down that law.

 also...serfs up...serfs......XD

 don't think I didn't catch that! 

I love the on point word play.

 I also like how you had that one side character and gave him a connection to our seasonal badguy. the fact someone cared enough about him in the side side characters was a good hint at how good and caring his nature truly was which backed up what elizabeth angel voicesauf about why he had original joined and had been kind and focused on improving lives. AND it was a hint in the gut of how evil he got that even as a dense demon he killed that side character brutally XD 

 also...the 'oh my god' part took me by surprise and startled a laugh out of me XD all the kudos to all of you XD