#which is gonna be very fun for me. it’s just gonna require more than 5k characters

[neixins]

this fic is gonna have to come with a separate gdoc containing all the footnotes bc i don’t think they’re gonna fit in the endnotes <3

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you 

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests 

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic 

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village 

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no 

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point 

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it 

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion 

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty 

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait 

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise 

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex 

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice 

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 

having a good time 

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together 

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent 

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know 

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode 

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure 

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble 

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[snowsheba]

oh my god finished aveyond 3-2: gates of night. thoughts below cut

characters

mel i think it's very funny to kill a frog and then fish 71 moneys out of it. mel got paid 100 for the original job for gyendal and was like omg that's so much!!! now she kills a monster and makes 5k+ out of it. have you considered a different line of work queen

i liked that she had more lines this time. i do not like that most of them were arguing with lydia. however, i do like that most of her responses to lydia are either ignoring her or rebuking her when she's doing her classist thing.

stella again: stella is perfect. however, this game struggles with foreshadowing and i laughed really hard after seeing the introductory animation. her sad little see-saw as she fell........

i know this is a failing on the writers more than her but i do think it's rather telling that she compliments female characters on their appearance and male characters on their personality (exception of te'ijal, who is so Gender that i don't include her honestly).

edward man, fuck this guy. i mean not really. he's like. he's ok. he's a 5 out of 10. exceedingly average. astoundingly decent. wildly fine.

i am trying VERY hard to like him but so far he's either been the mouthpiece for the exposition or an explanation, which gets boring fast. his personality extends to "dislikes status quo but not enough to change it," which tracks for a prince. wish he was less boring. also wish he was less "let me tell you what to do and how to do it" even if he's right. (especially if he's right.)

te'ijal SHE BECOMES MORTAL? AFTER ALL THE HELP AND INSTRUCTION SHE GAVE? WHAT IS THIS.

te'ijal's entire personality and BEING are based around being a "fuck it we ball" vampire. there's gonna be a lot of angst in 3-3 isn't there.

galahad this man is stupid as all hell. it must feel good to be human again after starving forever, though! i'm happy for him. even if in this game he was mostly following along.

lydia what a BITCH (fond). i know she does some wack shit later on but so far she is hitting all the right buttons for me. i love characters who are just unapologetically assholes, and i was like "yeah that tracks" when i talked to her dad and he parroted back the classist stuff lydia's said before. honestly she might be my fave character so far.

also i get to buy her lots of dresses which is surprisingly fun!! kind of wish i could get stella new clothes.

ulf totally thought this guy was a mage before i played this game!!!! he is not!!!! i also did not use him to fight at all, so he was just tagging along, i guess. doesn't help he has basically 0 lines.

hercules is this where hercules the aveyond character gets his start? when i first encountered him in av4 i was like who's this dude. now i see that he is exactly the same? wild shit bro.

story

compared to 3-1 it's uhhh. it's moving fast scoob. i really thought it'd take longer to get these fucking keys but nope! nope!!!

also the entire orc kingdom is. how do you say. Problematique™? or at least the weirdly broken "translations" was bizarre. why are they saying shit like "i strong you weak" when mel presumably understands orcish. you know what i'm saying.

also i get weird about bulkiness/size/strength being directly related to intelligence. just in general having npcs call the orcs brutes and savages and then characterizing orcs as strong and dumb has troubling connotations for me as an american. also the fact they have slave pens kind of major sucks! but anyway. neither here nor there.

gameplay

literally """rented""" a keep for 10k. why do they say rent instead of purchase? you never pay rent again. also if mel is rolling in it you can bet she'd keep her dinky apartment to plot thievery and also make out with stella.

ok anyway, again, main complaint is lack of guidance. the oil is in the elven castle in a random locked chest? to distract the guard you need a music box, which requires you to have explored chateau whatever-the-fuck or remember there's a toymaker there?? to get the first key you need to find the candy but there's no indication said candy has anything to do with the key at all???

listen. i'm all for environmental storytelling and paying attention. but this is exactly why i think av3 sold so poorly: it is needlessly convoluted. at the VERY least the journal could have more guidance than "find hal." WHO IS HAL. WHERE IS HE. (he's the elf who gets stuck in the waterways.) i don't remember av1 being this confusing and av2 is extremely linear by comparison, so maybe i'm just bitching about nothing, but i am BITCHING NONETHELESS!!!!

oh also i think it's extremely funny that you have two magic users in your party and Only Two. one of them can't even do damage. #LetStellaCommitArson

conclusion

as always, a banger. aveyond has been and always will be my top favorite game series of all fucking time and despite my whining this one is no exception. onward!

[justalarryblog]

📝See You When I Get Home by @fournipplesau (10k) | Explicit

“What are you thinking about?” He repeats Louis’ question from earlier.

“You.” Louis’ reply comes out in a moan. It shocks Harry, and his brain scrambles for the right thing to do, the right thing to say. He doesn’t even know how to feel, or if he even heard Louis correctly.

“Me?”

📝Stillness Is The Move by @turnyourankle (2k) | Explicit

Harry fails to follow instructions and requires punishment.

📝And I know he’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb by @capturethesunset (3k) | Not Rated

Louis getting wrecked by jealous Harry.

give and take by @sky_reid (1k) | Explicit

sometimes louis just needs.

📝English help? More like Fuck me. by orphan_account (5k) | Explicit

Oh he’s much more than just a student. He’s enchanting and enticing and just pretty and Louis wants to touch. Just wants to devour him, it doesn’t fucking matter if it happens in his own classroom either.

📝When I hear your cries, praying for life. (I will be there) by @brokenbeauty (5k) | Explicit

Well, I figured we needed Larry birthday sex, soooo….. ;))))

📝hop hop hop by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Suddenly, Harry’s slipping down his jeans, and Louis gasps as he’s met with a very unexpected but delicious sight. A mass of fur nestles between Harry’s cheeks, matching with the pink of the inner part of his bunny ears.

Or, the one in which Harry wears bunny ears and a bunny butt plug and Louis proceeds to fuck him.

📝I’m Gonna Love You (Until You Hate me) by @sweaterpawstyles (8k) | Explicit

As if reading his mind, Louis glanced over his glasses at Harry, presumably because Harry didn’t reply to his statement earlier.

“I decided to get my glasses out again,” he chuckled, winking at Harry. “Do you like them?“

Harry felt his face heat up. No, he didn’t just like them. He fucking loved them and wanted to ride Louis and call him daddy while he wore them. But he didn’t want to just tell Louis this.

Or

Louis wears glasses and Harry doesn’t like to be teased

📝sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

📝shit, i still love you (still see you in bed) by @Wankerville (10k) | General Audiences

Harry hums, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, “I want daddy to fuck me in the gold booties he got me for my birthday.”

or, it’s valentine’s day and harry wants to be fucked in his gold boots

📝daddy daddy cool by @sky_reid (6k) | Explicit

harry wakes up hard.

📝Yes Daddy, I Will by @recklessandbrave (9k) | Explicit

Louis smirks, arms crossed while admiring the scene in front of him. He had Harry exactly where he wanted him; desperate while blindfolded and tied up, and he was loving it. He feels drunk off the sight of his boyfriend spread out for him, naked, hard, and needy.

Or the one where Harry distracts Louis while he works and gets the punishment he deserves, and so badly wants.

Part 1 of Pastel

📝Make Him Want to Sin by @QuickedWeen (9k) | Explicit

The stranger’s sharp gaze landed on him immediately, the eye contact shattering through Harry’s defenses. For the first time in his life, Harry had an instantaneous reaction to someone. The man stared down at him with interest, like he wanted to take Harry apart and put him back together again, piece by piece. Harry wanted that more than anything, and he wanted it right now. It took every ounce of strength he had ever possessed to not drop down to his knees instinctively.

All from one glance.

📝welcome to the mansion by @blankiehxrry (7k) | Explicit

Harry is a Playboy bunny.

📝12 Hours by @1975sam (2k) | Explicit

If two people who hated/couldn’t stand each other got stuck together in an elevator for 12 hours, what would happen?

📝A Million Years by @sunflowerstyles (3k) | Explicit

Louis always ends up feeling guilty that he’s not ready to give Harry what he wants. Harry shows him how much fun they can have while they wait together.

📝But I’ll Still Take You Home by @LoadedGunn (9k) | Explicit

“So how old does that make you?”

It takes Harry a second. “Twenty.”

Louis arches an eyebrow. No matter how morally dubious that makes him, this boy is not twenty years old. “Bullshit.”

Harry pinches his bottom lip between two long fingers. “Eighteen.”

“What is this, a missile launch?”

Harry giggles. “Seventeen.”

Or, Harry is 17 at a college party, and Louis is not Brian Kinney.

📝can i stay the night by @frappeniall (3k) | Explicit

Louis pulled away and stood up, ‘This.. This is wrong. You’re 16.’

‘17 in 6 minutes,’ Harry interjected, ‘If that helps.’

[harry has a crush on his older neighbor, louis, and stays the night at his house when he gets in trouble with the police]

📝Can’t help but touch myself by @Tita (7k) | Explicit

“I asked what these were, love.” Harry gulps. “Panties,” he explains with heated cheeks, needing more than the light touches from Louis and getting nothing. “What did you get them for? Were they to impress someone else?” He asks, and Harry shakes his head fervently, stumbling over his words as he tries to get his tongue to cooperate. “No, no,” he emphasizes, arching his back to plaster himself to Louis. “For you, always for you, Daddy.”

📝Champagne by @fanshae (2k) | Explicit

“Look at how pretty you are,” Louis murmurs, Harry’s stockinged toes curling against the floor at the praise, “Give Daddy a twirl, baby.”

📝Dance Floor Whore by @ropewithnoanchor (7k) | Explicit

Louis and Harry go to a club while on tour to blow off some steam, but Harry gets too drunk and lets another man dance up on him in front of everyone. Louis takes him back to their hotel and spends the next morning punishing Harry, making Harry work to make it up to him.

📝foreign but not different by @frappeniall (2k) | Explicit

When Harry signed the papers, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. All he knew was that he had good grades and that he was sick of his mom and sister. So he convinced his mom to let him go to school in London for a year.

[harry is a foreign exchange student who stays with the tomlinsons]

📝Give It Up To Me by @krisstylinson (8k) | Explicit

“You’re going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge,” he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

“And?” Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis’ arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. “What if I wanted you to?”

Or the cliché where Louis isn’t supposed to come but he does, and that can’t go unpunished in Harry’s eyes.

📝I can feed your appetite by @dirrtylarry (5k) | Explicit

During a meal out with the other boys, Harry teases Louis to get what he wants.

📝I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

📝it ain’t trickin’ if ya got it by @sarcasticfluentry (10k) | Explicit

Louis raises an eyebrow and smirks. “You have to ask nicely, Harry.”

They’ve never really played like this before, and Louis is a little out of his element but he finds that they’re both falling effortlessly into their roles (and not just because Louis is good at acting).

Harry’s too overwhelmed, though, to say anything without first gasping, “I c-can’t - god, I can’t believe you - please, Daddy, please put it inside?”

… or, 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

📝Just One Night by @LovelyAnon (7k) | Explicit

Louis is upset and goes to a bar to drown his worries. Harry shows up. Sex ensues. What more is there to say?

📝just one step at a time by @hickeylou, @sowearegay (10k) | Explicit

Louis is insecure and Harry has trouble sometimes.

📝just want to make love to you by @beautlouis (3k) | Explicit

Louis has a lapful of Harry before the car has even closed and maybe he should be a bit concerned about that, judging from the look in Liam’s eye, but it’s hard to worry about anything when Harry’s wriggling against him, warm and insistent.

“’m so hard,” Harry pants against his ear, “Been this way since we got off the stage, want–want you to fuck me, yeah, I want–”

*the aftermath of the xfactor performance where harry went wild

📝Mark Me Up (My Skin’s Yours to Touch) by @eyesofshinigami​ (2k) | Explicit

They stumble into their bedroom and Louis’ is immediately pushed onto the bed, Harry scrambling after him. Shaky hands pull down his joggers right under his arse and Harry’s tongue circles around the still tender skin, never touching it directly. Despite the heat and desperation between them, Harry’s almost reverential in his touches. “‘s for me, Lou?” he slurs between passes of his tongue. “A place that only I can see?”

Or the one where Harry gets to appreciate Louis’ new tattoo.

📝my one and own (i wanna get you alone) by @beautlouis (6k) | Explicit

Louis’ favorite thing to do is make Harry come. It’s the best feeling in the world, watching the boy he loves fall apart underneath him; to see how good it feels for Harry, in every line and movement of his body.

Louis pushes a thigh between Harry’s and grinds just enough that Harry sighs gently and ruts his hips back into Louis. Holding Harry’s waist firmly, Louis presses his lips into Harry’s ear and says, “I think I’d like to make you come.”

It isn’t as if they don’t both know that’s what tonight is—Louis making Harry come—but the verbal acknowledgment of it makes Harry moan sharply and turn his head to try to pull Louis into a kiss.

📝my youth is yours by @skarshes (6k)| Not Rated

“They shake hands and when they’re finished, Louis stands up to go shake Harry’s hand. He doesn’t understand why Harry is gawking at him until he realizes that he’s still dressed in a pair of blue lacy boyshorts. He blushes, but the response from Harry is the best, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are wide. Louis shakes his hand and welcomes him before leaving to go finish his last part of the photoshoot. Harry is still standing there with his mouth wide open when Louis walks out.

Oh, this is going to be so much fun, Louis thinks to himself as he gets in position for the next photo set.”

Or: Louis is a model and Harry is his assistant. Cue the instant attraction, flirting, a little bit of smut, a little bit of angst, but a happy ending.

📝nominae by @pressedpeachpits (2k) | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis is Harry’s beautiful acting professor, and Harry is an awkward college freshman with a crush on said teacher. After a slip up with what name to call him, Harry finds himself in a world of embarrassment, obsession, and lots of support from his roommate Niall.

Or, the one in which Harry calls his teacher Daddy, but it isn’t as bad as he expected

📝One day to believe in you by @mediaville (7k) | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it’s really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. “You think about me when you get off?”

“Yes,” Louis says. He wonders how hard he’d need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

“Often?”

“Yes, Christ, Harry,” Louis groans. “Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I’ve been visiting family. Anything else you’d like to know?”

📝Skipping Heartbeats by @1dfetusfics (3k) | Mature

Louis doesn’t talk much and for some reason he has a queasy feeling in his belly whenever he’s around boys now, especially around Harry.

📝so defiant, little one by orphan_account (4k)| Not Rated

Louis refuses to talk to Harry when the older man doesn’t buy him the necklace he wanted, and in return Harry teaches him to be grateful when they get home.

📝sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

📝Sweet Dreams by @dormant_bender (5k) | Explicit

When fantasies become reality.

📝Talk To Me, Baby by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Harry loves to talk and whisper little things to Louis during sex. Louis is pretty quiet, loves it, but just listens. But one day Harry really wants to hear Louis say some of the dirty things he loves Harry to do to him, so Harry really encourages Louis to talk to him during sex. Louis is self-conscious at first but then they really get into it and amazingness happens.

📝Thank the Hotel by orphan_account (4k) | Explicit

The hotel messed up the boys’ reservations for after their Red Nose Day performance, causing Louis and Harry to share a single bed hotel room. When Harry wakes up to Louis having a wet dream, he just can’t help himself. He’d have to remember to thank the hotel later.

📝Untitled sugardaddy fic by orphan_account (2k) | Explicit

Harry comes home from a long day at work and has his way with his baby. (That’s Louis.)

Or

The one with all the daddy kink sex and spanking. It’s pure pwp.

📝Wake Me Up by @larrystylins (2k) | Explicit

Harry stretches and accidentally pushes his bare bum into Louis’ crotch. Oh. That’s definitely Louis’ cock. Okay that’s definitely the outline of Louis’ hard cock pressing against him. “Lou?” he whispers. Of course Louis is fast asleep..

or Harry wakes up to Louis’ morning wood pressed against his bum. Harry gets needy. Louis wakes up and punishes him.

📝You Don’t Need Me To Show The Way by@LoadedGunn (6k) | Explicit

But right there, on Harry’s iPod, is a folder entitled Lou Sappy Sappy Long Indie Hipster 80’s Love Songs Mixtape.

Louis expects a sappy mix tape. He might even expect his own shitty versions of Foo Fighter songs. What he doesn’t expect is clicking on “AUD-20101223” and suddenly hearing loud moaning. He gasps and scrambles to pause it, so shocked the iPod drops right to Harry’s stomach. Harry looks absolutely mortified, even more than he did when Louis played High School Musical. He’s blushing so furiously his face bypassed rosy straight to flaming red, and his mouth is closing and opening like he can’t think of a single thing to say.

Then Louis starts laughing uproariously. “Hiiii, I’m Harry from Cheshire, when I’m on the road I like listening to indie music and gay porn.”

Or, 2011 fic where Harry rides dick for the first time and Louis appreciates technology.

✨You can also check My Fic Tags for more fics! ✨📝

[mypoisonedvine]

Double-Edged Sword: Capt. Syverson x Reader (Chapter 1)

[I decided to ignore my WIPs and my URL and write something for Syverson because he is just…. a beautiful, meaty man and he deserves some more love.

To those of you who follow me for Witcher stuff only, I promise we will return shortly to the regularly scheduled programming.  As for the rest of us who are thirsty for Cavill in any context… enjoy!]

Summary: As a Major in the Marine Corps, you work with other units and branches relatively often.  That said, you had never really had to ask another unit for help before, so you felt pretty awkward when a mission required you to travel to a nearby Army camp and take shelter with them for the next two months.  Of course, their smack-talking, free-wheeling Captain isn’t going to make it any easier on you, either.

Word Count: 5k (oh jesus christ)

Rating: E

(warning for dub con and people being sexist assholes, cause yknow, it’s the military.  contains lots of angst and bickering and arguing, and of course, smut.)

���Listen, I’m not going to stand here and pretend I’m Ms. Popular,” you sighed, “but hopefully you all can appreciate that I look out for all of you.”

No one said anything, because they were standing at attention at their cots.

“At ease,” you added, and they all relaxed a bit, “but keep quiet so I can finish.”

A few sat on their beds but most still seemed to be paying attention.

“When it’s just us Marines, I don’t mind much whatever you call me when I’m not around.  Or when I’m around.  But once we get where we’re going tomorrow, we’re shacking up with the Army.  And as much as I want everyone to get along, I’m not sure how likely that is.  Anyways, what I’m trying to say is… right now it may be me versus you, but soon it’s going to be us versus them, Marines versus Army.  And us Marines need to stick together.  Does that make sense?”

There were a few nods, but you weren’t sure they were getting it.

“Alright, allow me to be a bit more literal.  Don’t tell the other soldiers that I’m a bitch,” you requested.  There were some scattered chuckles.  “I know it probably seems fine since you say it to each other but I need you guys to help me get their respect.  I’m not saying to go in there and tell every Army nimrod that I’m everybody’s favorite officer.  Just… don’t let them see any cracks they could exploit.  Because I have to start ordering these guys around and I’m already batting a thousand.”

“Seems reasonable,” Private Cole replied, and most of the others agreed.  You smiled and left them alone to have a somewhat relaxing night before they had to ship out.

“I don’t want this to be Marines versus Army,” you told Captain Syverson the next day when you met with him for the first time.  Of course, that was what you had told your own unit would happen, but he didn’t know that.  “I’m sure you know that this is an officer versus enlisted issue.  And us officers should stick together.”

He was smiling back at you from across the table, but it didn’t seem that friendly.  

“I don’t see why there’s any ‘versus’ at all.  You and your unit are guests here.  We get this project over with and you’re out,” he shrugged.  

“Maybe you haven’t had much issue getting control of your soldiers.  But it took me a while to get mine to trust me, and now I have to go in blind and command your unit.  So I hope you’re on my side,” you explained.

He went from smiling in an unhappy way, to laughing in an unfunny way.  You regretted the way you had approached this conversation.

“Sounds like you’re not a good leader, if it was so much trouble for you,” he scoffed. “Maybe you should work on that.”

You didn’t get angry very often, but this was the closest you’d been in a while.  You understood his distrust, even a little duplicity was merited.  To just outright insult you to your face was, of course, hurtful, but mainly just stupid.  You’d always known Army guys were total morons, but this was just ridiculous.  What could he gain from going against you?

“How many years until you get promoted?” you asked him suddenly, standing up from your chair.

“About two and a half,” he responded.

“Well, if in two and a half years we’re both still alive, and I’m not already a lieutenant colonel, call me and we’ll talk about who’s in charge.  Until then, back off,” you huffed, and turned to walk away.  You yelped when he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you back.

“You’re on my base,” he reminded you sternly.

“And we’ll try to be respectful while we’re here, regardless of how we’re being treated,” you grimaced, wrenching your arm out of his grasp.

“You’ll try to be respectful?  On my base?!  How generous,“ he scoffed.  "You can’t just show up and start running things.”

“I have no desire to micromanage your little sandhut, Captain.  I don’t give half a fuck what goes on in here.  What I do have is the final call on any decision made in this mission,” you explained.

“On whose authority?” he pressed.  You laughed.

“Cap, somewhere in your desk there’s a little piece of paper– it’s got a lot of pretty gold and silver stars on it– and it explains how commanding authority is ranked in every branch of the United States military.  Feel free to go and check me on this, but I’m pretty sure that ‘Captain’ is here,” you motioned in the air, “and ‘Major’ is here,” you moved your hand up an inch.

“Well, sweetheart, there’s a sign outside the front of this base that says ‘Army’ on it, and a little sticker on your chest,” he poked it, and you couldn’t decide if you hated the physical contact or the deriding pet name more, “that says USMC.”

“Rank is rank,” you argued.

“So if you’ve got a doctorate in physics and I’ve got a master’s in English, you have the right to lecture me about fuckin’ Grapes of Wrath or whatever?”

“My doctorate is in American History,” you frowned. He laughed in frustration.

“Only a Jarhead could miss the point that hard,” he groaned, “and find a way to brag in the process.”

“Call your superior,” you growled, “who is notably a Major, and ask him who has authority on this base while we’re here.”

You stormed out before you could hear his reply.

~

When the time came, the two of you discussed how you would approach the mission behind closed doors.  Not like it was fun or anything, but you managed to stay off each other’s throats for a while and agree on a few things.  It was nice enough that you actually let your guard down, so much so that you were totally blindsided when he waited until you were in front of the entire company to disagree with you.

“That’ll never work,” he suddenly interrupted as you explained the plan, “we’ll divide and conquer.”

You looked at him with confusion.

“That’s not what we discussed before,” you reminded him.

“I changed my mind,” he shrugged.

“Well, I didn’t.  So we’ll do it my way.”

“My men, my rules,” he growled, stepping closer to you.

“Half these people,” you corrected, since a few of your unit were women, “are mine, and you’re below me.”

“Fuck you,” he said casually, smiling while he did it.

“You couldn’t handle it,” you spat back.

A few of the enlisted ‘ooooh’ed but for the most part it was very, very quiet.

Finally, Captain Syverson silently turned on his heel and walked away, looking exasperated.

“Looks like the Captain is going to take a little break,” you smiled with fake enthusiasm, turning back to the company, “and I’ll keep explaining this mission to you all.”

“If Captain Syverson doesn’t approve it, we’re not doing it,” one of the Army kids announced.  Your Marines were notably silent, but the rest of the Captain’s unit nodded in agreement.

“I’ve got a word for you, boys.  It starts with ‘N’ and ends with ‘subordination,’” you frowned.  They all groaned.

“It’s not insubordination because you’re not in charge of us!”

“Manage your own people, Jarhead!”

You uncrossed your arms and let your voice get a little louder.  “Hey, hey, settle down!” 

It mostly worked, but everyone seemed pretty displeased.

“Captain Syverson and I had a discussion with our superiors and it was concluded that I am highest ranking and I get the final call on every tactical decision,” you explained.

“That’s not what he told us,” one of the Army boys chuckled.

You tried not to seethe in front of them, you tried to keep it professional, but how were you supposed to work in these conditions?

“As you were,” you resigned through your teeth, storming off to where the Captain had gone.  You found him in his quarters, relaxing on a sofa; you nearly kicked the door in to talk to him.

“What the fuck was that?!” you exclaimed.

“I changed my mind,” he repeated calmly.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you growled, shoving him where he sat.  He stood up, clearly agitated.

“Get your hands off me, lady.”

“Major,” you corrected through your teeth.

“Only Major you are to me is a major waste of my fucking time,” he replied.

“Take it up with the Department of Defense, they’re the ones who gave me the title,” you defended.

“You know, lately I’ve been having issues with a lot of their decisions.  I’m still trying to figure out why the fuck we’re doing this anyways.”

“The mission?” you asked.

“The war,” he corrected.

“Ah,” you nodded, looking around nervously.  You were more comfortable with the arguing than the awkward silence. 

“Whatever,” he scoffed, crossing his arms and slumping his shoulders.

“Go tell your unit the plan- our plan.  Better yet, tell them they answer to me,” you demanded.

“I couldn’t have made it any more obvious that I’m not gonna do what you tell me,” he frowned, crossing his arms.

“Will you at least cooperate with me enough to get this mission over with?” 

He thought about that for a minute, and you tried not to lose your patience.

“Hmm… no,” he decided finally.

“Then will you shut the fuck up and stay out of my way?” you suggested instead.

He stepped up to you until he was uncomfortably close, and you had to crane your neck to meet his gaze.  He had these really bright blue eyes and they didn’t fit with the rest of his face, which was significantly angrier and grittier.

“Not a chance,” he answered.  But his voice had lost the intimidating tone, and his expression had changed at some point without you noticing… he looked sort of calm, considering the situation, and you realized that he was examining your face.

“You know,” he said suddenly, “you’d be pretty if you weren’t so…” he trailed off.

“Mean?” you finished, having heard this sort of comment more than a few times.

“No, it’s not that.  The mean thing is sorta hot,” he corrected casually as if it were nothing to say.  You bit your lip and broke the eye contact, trying not to blush.  It was a good thing you didn’t find him attractive- because of course you didn’t, him being this dirty brute and all- but still, it was uncomfortable.

“You’d be pretty,” he decided, “if you weren’t a Marine.”

You laughed and shook your head incredulously.

“Yeah, well, maybe you’d be pretty if you shaved that raccoon off your face,” you suggested, “and took a shower.”

You smiled as you left the room.

~

You delayed the mission briefing a day, to give you and the Captain more time to hopefully come to some decision, and you hoped it wouldn’t mean you and your unit had to stay at this camp even just one day longer.  You met with your Marines privately, and they were sympathetic but seemed to be getting along with the other soldiers enough to sympathize with their unwillingness to cooperate.  One soldier said he would only listen to you and not ‘Sy’ as they called him, but you told them to always listen to their commanding officer even if he’s a complete tool.

You were walking back to your quarters for the night when you passed by an open tent, a half-dozen Army boys inside playing cards.

“Hey Major, what size bra do you wear?” a soldier hollered at you, and the others snickered.

“I think they’re bigger than they look in that uniform,” another added.  “Double ‘D’s, at least.”

You stopped and decided to address them, unable to let a comment like that go.

“Oh I’ve got double ‘D’s alright,” you smirked.  “Dishonorable Discharge.”

“Aw, we’re just messing around,” the first dismissed with a frown. “Can’t you take a joke?”

“I can take a joke, but I can take your job, too.  Maybe stay on my good side.”  You winked, just to keep it playful, but you were really screwed either way.  You’d tried playing along with jokes before and all it did was make you seem like some creep and/or slut who liked getting hit on (was this even what that was?) by subordinates.  But getting stern didn’t seem to make you any friends, either.  That’s why you were so comfortable with not having any friends.

“Your good side?  You mean from the back?” one of them murmured, and you wondered if he was trying to be just loud enough for you to hear, or just quiet enough for you not to. 

“Dude, she’s probably a dyke anyway,” Private Lipowitz responded.

“Am I supposed to find that insulting?” you asked him.  He smirked, as did the others, as if it was obvious that you should, but nobody said anything.  “Maybe I am a dyke.  And maybe I could give your girl back home more pleasure in five minutes than you’ve given any woman in your whole life combined, eh Lipowitz?”

“You better not talk about my girl, Major,” he challenged, standing up and puffing up his chest.  “I know you’re not supposed to hit chicks or anything, but seriously, I’ll take out anybody who talks about my girl.”  You decided not to point out that you’re not supposed to hit your commanding officer, ‘chick’ or otherwise.

“Then you better start with your boys first,” you responded, motioning to a few of the other soldiers, “because word on the street is they found those saucy little pictures she sent you.”

Lipowitz turned to the other men with wide eyes, and suddenly you were the only one smiling.  Enlisted seem to talk so much more and so much louder than they realize.

“What the fuck?” he exclaimed, dashing to his pack, presumably searching for those photos.  When he didn’t find them, he stood up and pushed Private Mason back by the shoulders.

“Where are those fucking pictures, dude?”

“I don’t have ‘em, I swear,” Mason defended, but all the other guys were laughing.

“Seriously, guys, whoever has them, just give them back!”

“You’re not going to want them back in the state they’re in,” another finally admitted, “trust me.”

They all burst into laughter as Lipowitz went on a rampage, yelling and kicking and threatening to beat up the other guys.  You took the commotion as a good opportunity to sneak away mostly unnoticed and get back to your quarters for the night.

You weren’t there very long before you decided to spend some time in your temporary office instead.  You had taken your hair out of the tight regulation bun, intending to change into pajamas and go to sleep, but you remembered some paperwork that needed to be done by tomorrow night and decided to make some progress on it, since the Captain got in the way of your productivity during the day.

Of course, you weren’t an hour into it when he knocked on your door, though you didn’t know it was him until you told him to come in without looking up from your files.

He entered but stopped and didn’t say anything.

“Can I help you?” you asked eventually.

“You look different with your hair down,” he observed, and you looked back at him with a confused expression.

“Yes, I’d figure so,” you replied.

���You sleep in your uniform?” he asked, noticing that you were still in your fatigues, though you’d shed the camo long sleeve and just had on the green undershirt.

“Do I look like I’m sleeping?” you asked incredulously, looking back to your papers.  He snorted but didn’t say anything.  "Besides, I don’t think you’re ever in uniform.“

"Not when I don’t have to be,” he shrugged.  “I’m not sure why you wear it when you don’t have to.”

“I barely get taken seriously with it on, so it’s the least I can do,” you explained.

“About that…” he began, and you looked up in surprise. “I’m sorry they give you such a hard time.”

“Oh, I see,” you nodded, getting up from your chair to put some papers in your filing cabinet, “you talked to them and heard some of the awful shit they call me.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Well, you only have yourself to blame for that.  You had plenty of chances to instill respect for authority but you decided it would be more fun, I suppose, to go rogue and turn everyone against me,” you bit back with sarcastic cheeriness.

“Shit, I’m actually trying to be nice to you, and you’re still impossible.  You’re such a fuckin’ brat,” he nearly yelled.  You felt like the word ‘brat’ specifically targeted the fact that you were younger than him, which you didn’t appreciate at all- you would rather be judged on your merits, even if the judgment was poor, than be treated differently just because you were young.

“I’m in charge of you,” you corrected, “and you’re refusing to listen to me.  So, if anything, you’re the brat.”

“What I would give to put you in your place right now,” he growled to himself.

“Oh, my place? And what place is that?”

“Bent over my desk and getting your brains fucked out,” he answered with a deep voice.  

A lot of guys probably fantasized about rough sex (or worse) as a means of revenge against you for all those extra push-ups and boot camp humiliations– a few had even made comments about it, though most hadn’t realized you could hear them at the time.  You’d learned quickly how to not let that stuff get to you.  But this got to you… and not in the way you prepared for.  Your face burned and your gut sank and your insides throbbed, as if out of nowhere.

“I figured you liked your women without brains,” you quipped in reply, trying not to show any signs of weakness.  

He dashed to close the space between you, pressing you back against the wall.  He was so big, and he smelled like sweat and beer and pine.  You were surprised, and confused, but you didn’t worry that he would hurt you, for some reason.

“Seems I like my women with a mouth on ‘em, because every time you make some little comment like that, I swear I get harder than steel.”

He pushed his hips into you and yep, there it was.  Your breaths began to stutter but you didn’t want him to see how much this affected you.

“Just wish you put that mouth to better use,” he added with a devilish grin.

“You’d better get back,” you threatened, without actually mentioning any potential consequences.

“Don’t pretend you don’t want me,” he purred, and leaned down to speak against your ear.  “You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?  I can tell you’re getting turned on when we argue, too.”

“You’re confusing arousal with irritation, Captain.”

“Mmm, I like when you call me that.  I assume the intention is condescending, cause you just have to remind me that you outrank me, but I like it anyway,” he presumed.

“It’s the proper way to address another soldier, nothing condescending about it.  You know, I actually don’t have any problem with your rank.  Or your branch.  My problem is with your personality,” you corrected.

“That’s fair.  I have a big personality,” he smirked, and pressed his erection harder against you… it felt pretty big but you couldn’t get a good impression through your fatigues.

“Well, that might explain your ego,” you murmured.

“Just tell me you don’t want it and I’ll leave you be, we’ll go back to bickering an’ shit,” he offered.  “Just look at me,” he prompted, putting a finger under your chin and guiding you to look up at him, “and tell me you don’t want it.”

As you met his gaze, you let yourself really get a closer look than you had before.  It had always been obvious that he was good-looking, but right now he looked oddly gentle considering the circumstances.  The look in his eyes lacked the confidence you were expecting… as if he really didn’t know if you wanted him or not.  As if he really wanted you to want him.  As if he really wanted you.  And it had been a long time since someone had looked at you like that.

“Fuck it,” you growled and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss.  His beard rubbed against your face but it wasn’t as scratchy as you’d imagined- not that you had imagined this or anything.  

He inhaled through his nose and stepped back, pulling you with him and putting a hand on your hair and the other on your hip. 

“Looks like you’ll have to settle for bending me over my desk,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Not gonna bend you over anything yet,” he replied, putting his hands on your butt and lifting you up until you were straddling him in the air.

He walked with you wrapped around him until he could set you down on the desk, and his hands felt so damn big on the small of your waist.

He pulled back so he could pull your shirt over your head, and he took off his own while you slipped off your sports bra.  You both took a moment to stare at each other’s toplessness, a silent acknowledgement that you’d both been wondering about the other’s body.  You ran your hands up and down his chest, and he just looked at you while you did it with a difficult-to-read expression.  Of course you were familiar with muscle, you saw shirtless soldiers all the time and they were all in great shape, but this guy was just enormous.  His shoulders dwarfed you and with him so close you felt uncharacteristically small.

He didn’t say anything as he pulled you into another kiss, and this one was a bit gentler than the last.  You felt giddy and nervous and so desperate for him; you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, honestly.

His hands trailed down your back and you slid off the desk until you were standing.  He spun you around and pushed you down between your shoulder blades until you were face down on the desk, the cold wood making your skin break out in goosebumps.

He reached around your hips to open your button and fly, pushing your pants and underwear down to your knees.  You gasped a bit when you felt the air hit your skin.

“Oh shit, you’re wet already,” he noticed.  “Really wet.”

His fingers slipped through your folds and you tried to spread your legs but the pants got in the way.

“Just fuck me,” you demanded.

“All you know how to do is give orders, huh?” he laughed.

“This might be my first order you actually follow,” you considered, hearing him unzip the fly of his jeans.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he explained, “it’s an all-male unit, after all.”

Internally, you wanted to point out that being in an all-male unit doesn’t stop plenty of soldiers from getting it on, and that he shouldn’t be hooking up with anyone in his unit regardless of gender, but you realized this was not the time for explaining rules.

“Don’t need them,” you replied, “as long as you promise you don’t have anything I can catch.”

“You’re being so reckless,” he teased as his hands ran along your back and grabbed your ass, “it’s so unlike you.  What happened to that stubborn little rule-follower, hm?”

“She got really fucking horny,” you growled, “now get inside me, damn it.”

And without much warning, without any preparation, he slammed himself into you all at once.

“Oh fuck!” you cried out, much louder than you meant to.  He was big, really fucking big, and your walls struggled to fit him.  He didn’t slow down though, instantly setting a fast and brutal pace.

“Not so loud, sweetheart.  Not that I don’t love you screamin’ for me.  But if the other guys found out we were doing this…” he trailed off.  “Actually, I bet I’d be the most popular officer at camp if they knew we were doin’ this.”

“You already are,” you pointed out, struggling to focus on forming sentences. “And we’d both get in a lot of trouble– ah, god– if anybody reported it.”

“You’re right.  Better keep you quiet, then,” he sighed, leaning forward and stuffing two fingers into your mouth.  Your moans became sputters and chokes yet you eagerly sucked on his fingers and took them all the way down your throat.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he growled.  “If you’d deepthroated my fingers like that when we first met, I bet we’d have gotten along a lot better.”

That’s not really the way I do business, you wanted to respond, but you couldn’t say much when you were busy with the task at hand.

His fingers pulled out and you felt his hands wrap around your elbows.   He grabbed your arms and held them back as he slammed into you so hard that the desk scraped across the floor with every movement.

“So tight,” he observed.  “Bet no one’s done this to you in a long time. Bet what you always needed was a good fuck to loosen you up– literally.”

He landed a hard slap against your ass and you moaned.

“Oh, you like that?  You like it when I hit you?”

“Yes,” you answered through bared teeth.

“Dirty little slut,” he said, but the way he said it sounded more like a compliment than an insult.

He spanked you again, just a bit harder, and you yelped but found yourself pushing your hips into him and arching your back as an invitation for more.  He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer, pressing as deep inside you as was physically possible and grinding against you.  You sobbed and he grabbed you by the hair, pulling you up until his chest was against your back.

“Anybody ever been this deep inside you before?” he asked, his lips right against your ear.

“No,” you whimpered.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, leaving open-mouthed kisses along your neck down to your shoulder.  You weren’t sure how to feel about him calling you ‘baby.’

He let go of your hair but kept you close to him by wrapping his arms around you as he started to thrust again.  It was oddly intimate, and your head fell back onto his shoulder as you moaned and sighed and whimpered.

Calloused hands began to grab at your breasts, teasing and pinching your nipples; you hadn’t realized how sensitive you were there, because it sent sensation shooting straight down to your inner walls.

“I’m close,” you gritted out.

“That was quick.  You’re easy to please,” he replied, and you could hear the grin in his voice.

“Just don’t stop,” you pleaded.  He pushed you back down onto the desk and began to pick up the pace.

“Oh, I won’t stop, I promise you that.” His voice sounded different than normal- deeper and scratchier and oddly weak in a way.  You liked the idea that this had such an effect on him.

His thrusts slammed into you so hard and fast that you were sure you’d have bruises from it, and probably on your thighs where they were hitting the edge of the desk.  For some reason, that thought was what sent you over the edge.

“Ca-captain!” you cried out as you came, and he growled a bit against your ear.  You figured he thought you were calling him that as some sort of sexy nickname, a flash of authority, but it’s just the only thing you could think to call him, the only thing you’d ever really called him.  

He, on the other hand, responded with your first name, even though you’d never gone by it and never even told it to him, mixed in with his grunts and moans as he pulled out and came all over your back.  

It was strange to go from so much noise– skin hitting skin, moans and yelps, the desk screeching on the concrete floor– to just heavy breathing and the sound of the ceiling fan spinning above you.  Or maybe it was you that was spinning; you felt sort of dizzy and numb.

He leaned away from you until you couldn’t feel his touch anywhere, and you heard him zip up his jeans.  You awkwardly lifted yourself off the desk, pulling up your own underwear and pants as well, and looking around for something to wipe yourself off with.

“Did you come?” he asked, and you felt shame and fear and anger bubble up inside you.  This had been a really, really bad idea, and both of you could lose your jobs over it, or worse. And he was such an asshole and you were supposed to be setting a good example for the women in your unit and here you were with some Army dumbass’ cum all over you and he didn’t even have the courtesy to make sure you’d finished before he did… what a joke.

“Oh, I came alright– came to my fucking senses.  Get out of my office,” you barked.

He laughed like he saw all this coming.

“Your office?  It’s my base.  Everything here is mine.  Even that jizz you’ve got on ya,” he grimaced.  “Kickin’ me out before it’s even gone cold.  You’re a real ray of sunshine as always, Major.”

“That’s the first time you’ve called me Major,” you realized. “Let’s make that the only thing done tonight that we turn into a habit, alright?”

He shrugged and turned to leave, but of course, he had to have the last word.  “You can fuck the ice queen but you can’t melt her, I guess.”

“Is that what this was?  Some sort of sexual scavenger hunt, to prove you were macho enough to get the prude to spread her legs?”

“Well, it worked didn’t it?” he grinned.

“I said get out,” you reminded him, hoping he’d leave before you started crying.  He did.

You didn’t cry very often, not something you had the luxury of doing after a decade at war.  And you still didn’t let yourself do it for very long, because you were morally opposed to crying over boys.

[forever-rogue]

The Boyfriend Mission

A/N: This is for @killer-queen-xo, who was one of the Halloween Contest winners! Congrats and amazing job, and I love you! I hope you (and everyone else) enjoys this! It’s a little good old fashioned fake dating fic staring the one and only Ben! Who doesn’t want a sweet old Benny Boy for Christmas, honestly?

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: None (fluff)

Masterlist

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

"Y/N? Y/N?" you were frozen for a moment, the phone still clutched to your ear as you heard your mother repeatedly calling your name. Her question had stunned you and instead of finding any type of response, your body had responded with silence, "are you still there?"

"Yes," you finally snapped back into attention, running a hand nervously through your hand as you tried to ignore the question, "sorry almost dropped the phone."

"You didn't answer my question, darling," she already knew what you were doing and you flopped on the couch, groaning internally. You knew you could only blame yourself, realizing now that you should have kept your mouth shut the whole time, "don't try and avoid the question! You know we just want to meet him. You've been gushing about for months now!"

"Gushing is a strong way of putting it," you tried to defend yourself even though you knew you had been playing it up to make it seem like you had suddenly acquired the world's best boyfriend, "it's nothing serious, Mother."

"Don't Mother me, Y/N," she laughed lightly, "just bring him over for Christmas Eve dinner. Everyone's coming and we won't bite. We just want to meet the man who has seemingly won over your heart. Yes?"

"Is it even worth it for me to try and argue?"

"Not really," she insisted, having long already made up her mind. You pinched the bridge of your nose as you knew you had to come with some sort of plan. There was definitely not getting out of this mess...which you more or less had created yourself.

"What if he's already busy, Mum?" it was a last ditch effort but also a valid question...what if this imaginary man already had a plan? It was Christmas after all and people made plans left and right. You could hear her tutting at you on the other side of the line.

"Is he?" she was going to break you down and really wasn't going to let it go.

"I dunno," you sighed wanting to sink into the couch and disappear. Why? Why had you lied? If you had just been honest with your family in the first place you wouldn't be in this position. But no, you just hadn't want to admit that you were still single and receive everyone's pity. And now you were going to have to explain why you lied in the first place and receive that pity instead. What a mess you created for yourself.

"Exactly," you could practically hear the smile in her voice. Although she was pushy, you knew she meant well, "so just ask this mystery boy if he's free and if he that we'd love to meet him."

"Fine, okay," you gave in, ever so reluctantly, "I'll ask him and see what he says."

"Don't make it sound like a death sentence! You always love coming home for Christmas," she reminded as you groaned lightly at her, mumbling under your breath, "what did you say his name was?"

Fuck, you thought to yourself as you tried to come up with a name. But after a couple seconds of fruitless searching you just said, "it's a surprise. Don't want to go and spoil everything!"

"You are a strange little thing," there was a fondness to her voice and you relaxed a little bit, "just find out if he can come and let us know!"

"I will, Mum. In fact, I'll go and ask him right now," you lied, squeezing your eyes shut, "talk to you soon."

"Talk to you soon, love. Can't wait!"

Before she could yet another word in edgewise, you ended the call and chucked your phone across the room burrowed your face into the pillows. It was a terrible mess you had created for yourself and you had no one to blame but yourself. Now you only had a few days to find a solution.

Right now that required a nap, you had decided. A nap probably wouldn't really help, considering it was already later in the evening and you needed to do some serious problem solving. But a nap was a nap and you couldn't argue with the pull of sleep you were experiencing.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

You woke up in the middle of a dream, sitting up bolt right as you tried to catch your breath and calm your mind down from the unsettling mental images. You ran a hand through your disheveled hair before tying it up and out of your face. Grabbing your blanket, you made a quick decision and headed out of your apartment and down the hall. You realized it was late, probably almost sometime in the morning, and wondered if you should even bother to see if he was awake.

But Ben was your best friend, your rock and confidant, and he was always there for you, as you were for him. That, and the fact they you lived so close didn't hurt either. You knocked quietly on his door, deciding that if you didn't hear anything from the inside the apartment within a few minutes, you'd scurry back home. Part of you hoped he wouldn't be available and part of you hoped he opened the door and would usher you inside.

Just as you were about to give up and head back to your own apartment, he opened the door, a smile immediately crossing his features when he realized it was you.

"Hi love," he rubbed lightly at his eyes, and you wanted to kick yourself when you realized you had most likely woken him up, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh Ben," you sighed lightly, "I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry, I should have checked the time. Ugh, I'm just striking out left and right today."

"It's never a bother with you," he insisted, opening the door and reaching for your hand to pull you inside. You weren't about to argue, already feeling better by just his presence.

He led you into the kitchen, and you immediately hopped onto the counter, swinging your legs back and forth as you watched him reach for mugs in order to make some hot chocolate. Ben always knew exactly how to make you feel better.

"Now tell me," he said as he flicked his eyes over to you momentarily, "what's eating you up?"

"I'm in trouble," you sighed as you rested your head against the wall, "big trouble."

"What!?" you heard the clinking of spoons on the ceramic of the mugs as he whipped around and stared at you, very concerned expression on his face, "what happened?"

"Umm, oops?" perhaps you should have specified that it wasn't actual trouble. Judging by his expression, he was ready to stow you away and keep you safe, "it's nothing too terrible, really. I'm not in danger by any means."

"Jesus Christ, Y/N," he let out a sigh of relief went back to the hot chocolate, asking his head lightly at you, "you can't just go around saying things like that without context. Marshmallows?"

"Obviously," you replied watching as he reached into cabinet and pulled out the small bag of mini marshmallows. It was hard not to let your eyes linger on him, watching the muscles of his back and arm flex, apparent still under his sweatshirt. Sometimes it was hard to pretend you weren't absolutely in love with your best friend. Especially when he was so kind, gentle, amazing, handsome, and wonderful. You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn't even realize he was talking to you, holding out your mug.

"Earth to Y/N," he said gently as he nudged your leg with his. You came back to reality and took the cup from his hand, your face heating up under his gaze. Taking the mug from his hand, and bringing it to your lips and taking a drink of the warm, sweet, liquid.

Ben watched you with a smile on his face, silently trying to pick your brain. You were feeling shy all of a sudden, something you rarely experienced with your best friend.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked as he hopped up and sat next to you, his body touching yours and sending little jolts of electricity through your body.

"Nothing," you lied as you set the mug down and let out a long sigh. He mirrored your actions as he patiently waited for you to continue on. There was something different about tonight, the way the two of you were interacting that was different. You wondered if he somehow knew that you were in love, if you somehow had spilled your secret. 

You had liked him for some time, and always wondered if he felt the same; but you had talked yourself out of that idea. This was Ben after all, and there was almost no way that someone like him would you like. At least that's what you had convinced yourself. And you were sure of that. Mostly anyways.

“Are you gonna tell me why you’re in trouble?” you had gotten so caught in trying to suppress your feelings for him that you’d completely lost sight of the real reason you’d come to him in the first place.

“Oh! That,” you laughed lightly as he raised his eyebrows at you, “you’re going to laugh and make fun of me…”

“I would do no such thing,” he promised, and it was your turn to give him the look, “fine, so I might. But, as your best friend, I promise to try and help you find a solution to this problem. Now, go on.”

“Okay,” you started and let out a long sigh, “so a few months ago, I was at a family thing and everyone was talking about who they were dating and all that jazz, and then they got to me. I panicked and didn’t want to be the only single one, again, so I lied and said I was dating someone.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Ben was already cracking up with laughter, his shoulders shaking as he tried to control himself, “so, rather than just admit you were single, you lied and said you were dating someone?”

“Yup,” you admitted, popping the P loudly, “it was a spur of the moment decision that I didn’t really think through.”

“Ahhh, well it can’t be that bad,” he insisted, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. His touch was warm, and part of you was glad that it lingered for a few moments longer than necessary, “I’m sure it’ll blow over soon. They’ll probably have forgotten it by now.”

“Umm, well, that’s where the real trouble comes in,” you sighed, bracing yourself for his reaction, “I kind of just kept up with lie and Mum called today and asked me to bring him, my completely fake boyfriend, to Christmas.”

“Oh…boy,” he let out a long breath and you nodded in agreement, “you just couldn’t let it go?”

“You know how I am,” you said, taking another hearty slip of hot chocolate. You noticed that he seemed to tense up a little bit at the mention of a boyfriend. It gave you a moment of thinking that maybe he was jealous. But there was nothing to be jealous of it seemed, “and now I don’t know what to do.”

“How about a breakup?” he suggested and you mulled it over in your mind briefly. It did seem like a solid plan, but at the same time, it would be highly suspicious timing.

“Too risky. A holiday break up? Seems unlikely, and something that would realistically happen after the holidays.”

“Accident?”

“Too dramatic,” you sighed, “people would ask questions and it seems like too complicated of a lie to even start.”

“Already busy?”

“That was going to be my go to,” you confessed, and wondered if you should just go with that plan, “but Mum’s been really insistent and she’s not going to let it go until she meets him. This him that’s totally fake.”

There were a few moments of pause as the two of you sat there in silent contemplation. Without thinking, you put your head on his shoulder and rested it there. It only took a moment before he rested his head on top or yours, giving the crown of your head a quick kiss. Your face lit up at the contact, even though it was just coming from him. Best friends did stuff like this, right?

“What if…you brought me?” he finally said after a few moments, an odd sort of excitement in his voice. He gently got off the counter and tried to read your reaction. You were more stunned than anything else, so you watched him in silence as he took your hands in his, “it’ll be perfect! And we can easily sell the act.”

“But…my family already knows you,” was the only response you were able to get out. The idea of Ben being your boyfriend, even if it was just pretend, was enough to send your heart thumping rapidly. You weren’t going to lie like you hadn’t imagined this exact scenario a million times before, “it wouldn’t really work.”

“Sure it would! You’ll just say that you didn’t want to ruin anything, or give anything away just yet but surprise it’s me!” he had come up with a brilliant plan, even you had to admit that one. His green eyes were shining as he hoped you would agree to it. Little did you know that an idea of his own had most popped into his mind, “besides, your family loves me!”

“But what about after Christmas?” you reminded him, “what happens when we inevitably have to break up and then we remain best friends? Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“We can cross that bridge when we get there,” he promised, but you were still hesitant. It was a good plan, but you didn’t want your real feelings for Ben to get in the way. And even with a fake breakup, you knew it would hurt like hell, “come on love, this will work.”

“I dunno,” you sighed at him, “it might just be easier to admit I lied.”

“Nonsense,” he insisted, “I promise you that this plan is brilliant and nothing will go wrong. Now what do you say? Are you down? If nothing else, think of it as an adventure!”

“Ben Jones, you will be the absolute death of me,” how easily you melted at his smile, the way a single soft curl fell onto his forehead, everything about him made you melt and feel like a blushing school girl more than anything.

“Andddd?” he ask expectantly, and as much as you realized this was going to be interesting, and probably end up hurting more than anything else, you said decided to acquiesce to his request.

“Okay,” you nodded and he let out a small cheer. It seemed odd to you that he was so into this whole plan, but who were you to argue with him? You got off the counter when held out your hand to him, “let’s do this, fake boyfriend.”

“The pleasure is all mine, fake girlfriend,” he took your hand in his much larger one and shook it firmly. You had either just made a huge mistake, or a brilliant plan. It was a fine line between the two, but you were eager to see how it panned out.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

“You need to breathe,” Ben whispered into you ear as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You looked at him and nodded lightly letting out the long breath you had been holding in. As soon as you had gotten out of his car, nerves took over and you were suddenly regretting your whole plan. 

It was a crazy plan, having him pretend to be you boyfriend in front of your whole family and then spending the night together, trapped in the same bedroom. What could possibly go wrong? Besides everything anyways.

“Right,” you said as you shot him an anxious smile, “my brain’s going a million miles an hour and it’s hard to remember how to function.”

“You’re actually nervous,” he seemed amused by that fact as you glowered at him. It was easy for him to do all this, he just had to play along, but you were the only who had to sell it. He leaned over and kissed the side of your head, getting into the role of doting boyfriend, “although it’s super cute, you have no reason to be. It’ll be fine.”

“I...what?” you asked just as your mom opened the door, her arms already open to pull you in for a hug. But once she realized who you were with, she stopped short, a confused expression on her face.

“Ben?” she looked between the two of you, “you’re dating Ben? He’s the boyfriend?”

“Yup, that’s it,” your eyes widened with fear for a moment, sure she was going to call your bluff, “I’ve been seeing Ben.”

“Oh sweetheart,” she threw her arms around you and gave you a tight squeeze, rocking you back and forth, “that’s absolutely wonderful news! And Ben! How perfect!”

She let go of you and wrapped him up next, not even letting him get a word in edgewise. You knew she had always loved Ben, but you never realized just quite how much.

“You two make a lovely couple,” she pushed the two of you closer together and studied you closely, “I always had a feeling it would end up being the two of you. I had hoped anyways, you were always so right for each other.”

Your heart plummeted at her words when you realized how this meant to her. She thought this was real, and here you were living a lie. You exchanged a quick glance with Ben and he just gave you a smile followed by a light shrug. If you didn’t know any better you’d swear he was in cahoots with her.

“Oh well, you know,” you looked at Ben and waited for him to jump and help out, just he either purposely was ignoring your silent plea for help or blissfully ignorant. You nudged his hip lightly, “sometimes these things take time but work out…”

“I’m so happy for the two of you,” she took a hand from each of you and pulled you both inside the warmth of the house which was filled with all sorts of delicious smells, “everyone’s going to be so happy to hear the wonderful news!”

“Mum, it’s okay, you don’t need to make an announcement,” you tried to stop her, but it was already too late. She left the two of you in the foyer, and momentarily thought about just turning around and running away, but the soft look on Ben’s face told you otherwise. He helped you take off your jacket and beanie, hanging them up.

“Well,” he said as he took off his own gear, “see that went well! I told you it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“You idiot,” you hissed at him, whacking his arm lightly, “why you’d just along with it!? You should have said something!”

“And just what would I had told her?” he threw his hands up in the air, “sorry to disappoint you, but we’re actually just joking?”

“Not that exactly,” you sighed, rubbing at your temples. This was going to get out of control and fast, “I dunno, Benny. Let’s just not play it up too much…it’s going to hurt them enough when I tell them we’re breaking up. I never thought she’d be this into the idea of us. Fuck!”

“I guess at least she doesn’t hate the idea,” he shrugged and you supposed he was right. You nodded and took his hand, pulling him along with you into the living room, where you could hear the rest of your family. This was going to be a long, long day.

Ben hung back for a second, holding onto your hand and keeping you back. You turned to him with a confused expression and wondered what he was doing.

“Ben?” you asked as he pulled you toward him, leaving only a small distance between your bodies. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of him; your heart was thumping wildly and you were sure he could hear it. He reached up and put his hand on your cheek, tracing his fingers over the high points. You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Ben? What’re you doing?”

But he didn’t respond with words, instead he closed the gap between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours. It was soft and gentle, and was much shorter than you had wanted. You found a small, sad little sound leaving your mouth when he pulled away. Needless to say you definitely hadn’t been expecting that, but it had been just as perfect as you had always imagined.

“What was that for?” your voice was small and almost shaky as your whole body got hot. Ben’s cheeks were flushed as he seemed to think you didn’t like what he had done. 

“Just...for practice,” he explained hastily, clearing his throat. If you didn’t know any better, you were almost sure he was lying, “we have to make it look convincing, right?”

“R-right,” you replied, wishing he would look in the eyes. You opened your mouth to say something else, but before anything else left your mouth, your dad walked in, a devilish little grin on his face.

“And hello my darling,” he engulfed you in his arms, and at this point, you had just decided to give in and not even try and argue. Everyone was so set in their own ideas and you likely weren’t going to change their minds.

“Hi dad,” you mumbled as you pulled away and he turned to Ben. There was a gleam in his eye that suggested, much like your mother, he was beyond excited that you and Ben were finally a couple. 

“Young man,” he gave Ben a firm handshake and you totally expected him to go straight into a speech about how he would kill him if he ever broke your heart - you know the typical dad speech. But he didn’t, instead just grinning as he looked between the two of you, “I’m so happy for both of you. Can’t say I’ve been waiting for this one for time, but I’ve been waiting for this one for some time! It’s about time I dare say, how long have the two of you been flirting around now? Years?”

“It’s been a long time coming, sir,” Ben was just eating it up and going along with everything while you just wanted to sink into the floor. You knew Ben always had a little flair for the dramatics, but you didn’t think it would translate quite to this, “I guess we just needed to do it on our own time.”

“All good things take time,” he shot him a wink and you were internally screaming at the both of them. 

“I guess the next question will be when are you giving us all grandchildren?” this time your mouth hung open and you grabbed your dad’s arm and started steering him towards the living room. As much as you found your family overbearing, right now you were looking for any excuse to get away from this conversation. 

“Dad, not the time,” you hissed at him, attempting to give him a stern look, “besides, it must be getting close to time for dinner, right?”

Ben was biting his lip as he trailed after the two of you. If he was being honest, everyone else was basically doing the job for him; he had been planning on finally professing his love for you for some time, but he had never quite knew how to do it. 

When you had first proposed your little plan to him, he had practically jumped for joy when he realized this was it. This was how he was going to finally get you...or so he hoped. He was almost positive you had the same feelings for him that he had for you, but he could never be completely positive. 

But the way you had responded to his kiss and the way you seemed flustered and worried about every little thing told him all he needed to know. He was definitely willing to take the help and bust your family was giving him.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

The rest of the afternoon and evening had passed in somewhat of a blur, and thankfully no one else had been as pushy as your parents. Everyone else was merely glad to see you with Ben, after a lifetime of friendship, finally together. You got a few little I told you so comments but that was the extend of it. 

Ben played the perfect doting boyfriend, holding your hand and touching you at all the right times. His face lit up whenever he turned to look at you, and it made your heart soar; he was convincing, very convincing and you knew it was going to hurt like a bitch when it had to inevitably end. All you had ever was someone that looked at you the way Ben had been, the way Ben had been talking about you. But it wasn’t real, and you had to constantly remind yourself of that. You did know one thing though - whatever girl ended up with him was going to be very, very lucky.

“Y/N?” you snapped your head in your mother’s direction and waited for her to go on, “I’ve got your bedroom all cleaned up for you. I’m sure you and Ben have no problem sharing it for the night.”

“Oh, no. Of course not,” you gave her a tight lipped smile as Ben played with a lock of your hair, beaming at you. You looked at your watch and noticed that it was already late and realized what she was trying to get across, “well, I guess we’ll retire for the evening. Thank you all for everything, and we will see you in the morning.”

“Good evening to both of you,” she grinned at you as you bid everyone else a good night. Ben took your hand in his and entwined your fingers as you waved to everyone else. 

You remained silent as you walked up the stairs, wondering if Ben was going to let go of your hand as soon as you were out of everyone’s line of sight. But he didn’t; he took the lead, a sort of weird silence falling between the two of you. Normally it was a comfortable silence, but today it was more weird, different from what it usually was.

As soon as you got into the room, you closed the door and locked it, leaning against it as you let out a long sigh, running a hand through your hair. 

“That went well,” Ben flopped on the bed, a proud little smile on his pouty lips. Ones that you totally weren’t thinking about kissing then and there. Definitely not. 

“Ben,” you crossed your arms over your chest, “what the hell was that? You were putting on way more of a show than necessary! They’re going to be crushed when I tell them we broke up. I...I didn’t expect them all to be so into it. Was everyone just expecting, like what the hell?”

“Is it that weird?” Ben felt a rush of nerves, but he knew it was his time to finally confess. You gave him a shrug as you tried to realize what he was playing at. He got off the bed and took a step closer to you, leaving a little room between both of you. 

“I mean, kind of,” you admitted, “we’ve been best friends since we were what? Seven? Eight?”

“Eight,” he confirmed, “twenty long years.”

“Right,” you met his eyes and found that there was an unreadable expression in his eyes, “and if something was meant to happen, then it would have by now, right? I mean we’ve had plenty of opportunities and we’ve dated other people.”

“And how well have those relationships worked out?”

“Not well,” you gave in, remembering your slew of past boyfriends and girlfriends that just never seemed to work out, “but I just...we haven’t found the one.”

“What if we have?” he suggested and while you were hoping you knew what he was referring to, you didn’t want to get your hopes up and have your heart broken, “what if we’ve known for years?”

“What do you mean?” you were playing dumb, but the way he stepped closer to you and the little smirk playing on features were all highly suggesting you that he knew that you knew exactly what he meant.

“I think you know, love,” he was right before you know and ever so gently putting his hands on either side of your face. His touch was warm and you thought you might explode from all the of feelings stirring around inside of you, “I think we’ve both known for a long time, just like everyone else.”

“But we haven’t...” you trailed off, lost for words as you stared at his eyes, watching them study you so closely, occasionally flicking to your lips, “ever said anything...or done anything.”

“Maybe it’s a been long time coming,” he ghosted his fingertips over the high points of your face, “just like everyone’s been saying.”

“Do you...like me?” you blurted out suddenly, feeling more shy suddenly than anything else. He let out a small laugh himself, nodded to confirm your question, “oh? Oh. Oh?”

“I have for a long time, Y/N,” he finally admitted, feeling more free and happy than he had in a long time, “I just never quite knew how to tell you. What if you didn’t feel the same way? I would have made a fool out of myself and then been heartbroken. And then when you mentioned this whole needing a boyfriend for Christmas, I thought it was the perfect idea and time to finally tell you.”

“You like me?” you repeated, the grin on your face spreading from ear to ear, “I like you too, Ben. A whole lot, but I never thought that you’d feel the same.”

“And just why not?” he was amused by your answer.

“Because it’s you.”

“Well, it’s just so happens that I like you very much,” all of the fears you had felt suddenly seemed to leave your body and you felt a sense of happiness you couldn’t even begin to explain, “so I’ll sum this up, you like me and I like you.”

“Yes,” you felt breathless as you beamed at him and he got slowly closer and closer to you, mere millimeters between your lips.

“And now I’m going to kiss you,” he concluded.

“And now you’re going to kiss me,” you agreed before crashing your lips onto his and snaking your arms around his neck and pulling him tightly against your body. His hands went to your hips as he held you close, your bodies melding perfectly into one another. It was a perfect fit, just like you had always imagined. You had always wondered what he felt like, how he tasted, and needless to say it was all that you had imagined, and so much more.

“Hey,” he said as he pulled back after a few moments of frantic kissing and hands roaming each other’s bodies.

“Hey,” you grinned at him.

“I don’t just like you,” he whispered gently, “I’m in love with you. So in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too.”

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫

Permanent Taglist: @supernatural508 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety@asguardiansoftheavengers @the-bright-lights@dixonsbugaboo @justanewqueensfan@yourealegendroger@anna1523@thesecondlastjedi@bitemerog@rogernroll@secretsweetscollectionblog@sheridans-dynamos@dinkiplier@deacontaylormercurymay-blog @starrystarrybabe  @musical-prostitute-my-dear@onexlittlespark@benhardyseyes@marvelstuck@whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes@wonderwich @reedusteinrambles @a-kind-of-magik@lv7867@itissnowingandimstuckinside@brian-may-be@dessert-hardy@rogertaylors-lipgloss@rogerfxckingtaylor@queenbbarnes@luvborhap@drowseoftaylor@persephonesnebula@mamaskillerqueen @leatherjacketmazzello @theimpossiblehologramtree @discodiscodeaky @loveandbeloved29 @meddows-rose​ @onceitbubbles @wonderwoman292​

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[thorsthot]

♡thorsthot’s writing challenge♡ 5k edition

yooo! so the first time I did this, I was at 2.5k followers back in 2018. 2020 we at 5k baby!!! but no deadass, I'm very grateful, especially for the people who have still been here even when I'm being an asshole. 

I found it really fun when I first did this. I got to read fics that I normally would never read. Even though I don’t read fanfic now, I still want to show appreciation whenever I get the chance. And what better way than to host a writing challenge?? under the cut you’ll find the rules, and the various prompts to choose from!

Deadass, just have fun! (and lets hope this doesn’t flop lol) if there’s any questions, feel free to ask :) reblog this to boost, if you’d like

♡ rules ♡

gotta be following me - let me know if you’re posting from a side blog

YOU CAN WRITE FOR ANY CHARACTER IN MY GUIDELINES :)) - (It does not have to only be mcu characters but yes, you can write for Tony, Loki, Nat, Wanda, etc)

I suggest writing outside of the mcu; but it is your choice

no, you cannot write Peter Parker smut, idc whether or not he’s 18

if you're writing smut PLS BE 18+ baby 

also, no dark!fics, non-con, in*est, etc

two people per prompt so first come first serve - each person can have at most 2 prompts but it’s not required.

if you’d like to write more than one fic, you can!

word minimum is 700 words; there is no word or chapter maximum 

has to be a reader insert

♡ formatting + tags ♡

fics should include, a word count, warnings, and your prompt

if you’d like, you can add a summary (it’ll help me when making the masterlist)

for the love of all things holy, please, add the ‘read more’ function to the fics. 

must tag me in the fic + use the tag #thorsthotfive and #thorsthotchallenge (so that I can find it if it gets lost in my notifs!)

♡ how to + what happens when you enter ♡

send me a message or ask highlighting which prompt(s) you’re going to use and the character you’re writing about

for example; “movie dialogue #4 w/ wade wilson” or, “situational #7 w/ bucky”, etc

when you enter: you’ll get a reblog (likely more than one) + a paragraph of feedback that highlights what I love about what you wrote

you’ll also be on the special 5k writing challenge masterlist placed within my own masterlists.

send me a link as well, if I don’t reblog/notice the fic!

there's no deadline to enter, but there's a deadline to post

deadline - March 16st 2020

♡ prompts ♡

situational (au/trope) -

Oh No! There’s Only ONE Bed! 

Stranger In a Coffee Shop

‘Damsel in Distress’ 

Enemies to Lovers (@yournonlocalpoc w/ Jason Todd + d.4)

Friends to Lovers (@tonictransistor w/ Stephen Strange + md.4)

Soulmate AU (@the-wordsmiths-fabrications w/ Thor)

Fake Dating (@I-jus-wanna-writehappy w/ Arthur Curry + d.5)

Noir Detective AU

Apocalypse AU (@thortopia w/ Thor + d.6)

Wow! The Scary Man in the Woods is actually a Sweetheart (@pruemania w/ Thor)

Vampire AU

Bodyguard AU

Character Death

Monster/Alien Fuck Fest

dialogue - 

“Do you love him?” (@sidehowriting w/ Thor)

“You’re the love and light of my life and I can’t wait to spend eternity with you.”

“At least take me out to dinner first.”

“Will you stay awake with me? I can’t sleep.”(@yournonlocalpoc w/ Jason Todd + s.4)

“You trust me? Don’t you?” (@I-jus-wanna-writehappy w/ Arthur Curry + s.7)

“We’re gonna have a baby.” (@thortopia w/ Thor + s.6)

“Yes, my lord.”

“Do you believe in aliens?”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“It’s all your fault.”

“I’ve never been scared a day in my life.”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“Don’t argue with me today.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

movie dialogue - 

“It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.”

“Now take me to jail.”

“I didn’t want to get blood on your floor.”

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.” (@tonictransistor w/ Stephen Strange + md.4)

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“How can you go through life pretending that you’re happy?” (@daydreams-and-shortattentionspan w/ Steve Rogers)

“But this is life. This isn’t a movie”

“They say it hurts less if it’s a surprise.”

“We make a good team. Right?”

“They’ll kill you for helping me.”

“I’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

“Now, you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband/wife won't be home for hours.”

“Are we getting married tomorrow?”

“I gave you everything. You gave it all away.”

song prompts -

Candyman - Christina Aguilera

The Way - Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller

Do U Dirty - Kehlani

One Night Only (Disco Ver.) - Dreamgirls Soundtrack

Gambit Rogue Delight - Sylar

Dance For You - Beyonce

Whore - In This Moment

Playing Games - Summer Walker ft. Bryson Tiller

You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse (@daydreams-and-shortattentionspan w/ Bucky Barnes)

Cyber Sex - Doja Cat

Love Song - Lana Del Rey

Eyelids - PVRIS

Baby - Clean Bandit ft. Marina & Luis Fonsi

Ma Chérie - Palace Royale ft. Kellin Quinn

[dfcfanfics]

Stuff I did and do and gonna have done

It’s been so long since I posted a catch-all post to Tumblr that even I’m having trouble scrolling down that far.  So, since it’s probably been a couple of years now since that one, I’ll do some Shameless Self Promotion and throw together a catalog.

Shall we, behind the cut?

Longfics:

Someone To Watch Over Me: Adrien is having massive problems at home... and Akumas are headed his way.  Marinette notices that he’s not himself, and sets out to help -- in both her identities.  A Ladrienette triangle develops, with both of our young heroes hanging on for the ride... and that’s just how it begins.  Complete, 24 chapters, 225k words.  Original inspiration by @buggachat.

The Marinette Project: The school year ends, and Adrien notices that Marinette seems really down about that.  As Chat Noir, he sets out to bring her spirits back up over the summer... and quickly finds himself in way over his head.  Mostly Marichat.  Complete, 14 chapters, 90k words.

Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright: A new villain’s attack targets Marinette by chance, and knocks Tikki out of commission indefinitely.  Chat Noir gets an opportunity to choose a temporary partner -- and three guesses whose balcony he lands on.  But his choice of Miraculous isn’t quite as predictable... and a devilish Tiger Kwami has way too much fun helping Marinette rediscover herself.  Marichat-ish.  Complete, 9 chapters, 68k words.  Comic-ization in progress via @brittsarts!

Let’s Take It From The Top: A reboot AU in which Gabriel brings home the Cat and Moth from Tibet, not the Peacock and Moth... and an overheard conversation sends his son on a path towards disaster, romance, new identities for familiar faces, reworked canon scenes, and perhaps the destruction of all of France.  But mostly the romance and disaster parts.  Complete, 21 chapters, 125k words.

Mid-length Multi-parters:

Two Hearts That Wax And Wane: Adrien isn’t sure what he said in the car with Marinette, on their way home from the wax museum... but he knows that he screwed up.  Badly.  His good friend stumbled out of the car almost before it stopped moving.  Now he’s retracing his words and steps and trying to figure out what set Marinette off, which will lead him through both of his identities -- and both of hers.  Puppeteer 2 response fic.  Complete, 4 chapters (one for each Square side), 14k words.

Full Stamen Ahead: It’s Carnation Day at Francoise Dupont, where students can send each other floral tokens of their affection and appreciation.  Marinette wants to send one to Adrien, but gets cold feet about sending a red one... which does not go unnoticed.  A prank by Chloe, a misstep by Alya and suspicious friends lead to a cavalcade of misunderstandings, romantic drama and surprises. Marvel at my absolute mangling of the French educational system.  Complete, 5 chapters, 16k words.

Once in a Lifetime: A concussive villain blasts Ladybug’s earrings right off her ears -- and Marinette into a hospital bed.  Her injuries are minor; her loss of her Miraculous is not.  While she tries to keep her identity safe, someone she knows finds herself with what she realizes is the most precious jewelry in Paris.  Who will be Ladybug during this crisis... and how will the balance be restored?  Complete, 4 chapters, 25k words.

Reservations For Two... More May Be Coming: Adrien finally figures out that he’s the one boy Ladybug gets flustered around.  He gets up the nerve to ask her out... and she accepts.  So how are they going to make this couple thing work, anyway... and will Paris be the same after their first fancy-restaurant date?  Complete, 6 chapters, 35k words.

Throw Me Around Like One Of Your French Girls: Marinette reflects on her unpleasant encounter with Felix, and realizes... what might’ve happened if he’d tried to force a kiss on her, rather than Ladybug?  She does know a handsome classmate studying martial arts, though, so perhaps she should see if he’ll teach her some things...  WIP, 5 chapters so far, 25k words.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...: After Season 3′s finales, Adrien makes a go of it with Kagami... but makes a well-meaning-but-big mistake.  A weary and despondent Marinette finds a heartbroken Kagami on her doorstep, looking for advice... and one spur-of-the-moment decision on her part sends everything into chaos.  NOT an Adrien Salt fic, I promise you!  WIP, 13 chapters so far, 53k words.  

Serious One-Shots:

Summer Break: My first fanfic.  Marinette fractures her leg in a bicycle accident, and has to spend several weeks with a light cast.  Chat Noir begins visiting her to cheer her up... and lots of unexpected bonding surprises them both.  6k words.

Forget-Me-Not: “Alternative episode.”  A mind-sapping villain makes Ladybug and Chat Noir forget that their super-selves exist... leaving Marinette and Adrien wondering why they’re out together in Halloween costumes.in September.  What happens if they don’t get their true memories back -- and what happens if they do?  6k words.

Locked and Loaded: “Alternative episode.”  Marinette goes for a walk with Adrien over one of the “love lock” bridges in Paris -- which she hopes will put him in a romantic mood.  But a heartbroken woman they encounter becomes corrupted by Hawkmoth, the locks become her weapons, and Our Heroes must face down an army of enslaved romantics.  6k words.

A Little Promise I’d Made Myself: It’s New Year’s Eve at Rose’s house, and a party is in progress.  Adrien is having a good time, but something seems missing... until he notices a pretty classmate sitting by herself on a couch.  Are midnight fireworks inevitable?  3k words.

After The Storm Breaks: After the Season 3 finales, Kagami and Adrien are dating, and Marinette and Luka are an item... but there’s something awkward in the air.  Adrien and Kagami notice that Marinette has grown uncomfortable around them, and Adrien reaches out... and a lot of important things are said for the first time.  5k words.

Just One More Minute...: A tricky Akuma sends Ladybug and Chat Noir on a wild battle all over Paris, spanning several hours.  They’ve won, and Paris is safe once more... but the two of them have collapsed onto a rooftop, exhausted beyond belief and barely able to move.  Both Miraculous are beeping... so what are they to do?  2.5k words.  Inspired by @ladybeug artwork.

Playing a Familiar Chord:  After Puppeteer 2′s events, Luka is sitting quietly at home when his phone rings.  Someone special to him just underwent an emotional ordeal... and she needs a friendly ear and some male advice.  A gentle conversation ensues, with Luka wondering which way this might lead...  3.7k words.

Options Include Like, Comment, Share, Bookmark and Agonize:  Adrien posts to Instagram, marveling over his good friends’ relationship... and wistfully wishing for one of his own.  Marinette sees his post and wonders what she can do... 1.4k words.

MiracuCrack:

Trouble...Made?: Troublemaker response.  Marinette decides that the only thing to do about her crush being revealed is to confess... but there’s something that she should really have known first.  

It Wasn’t Plan “A”: A terrible new Akuma has sealed off all of the Kwamis’ powers.  With a groan and a sense of dread in his soul, Master Fu leads Marinette and Adrien to a box containing mystic totems best left untouched... the Ridiculous.

The Logical Conclusion: After careful study, Ladybug thinks she’s worked out who Hawkmoth must be, and presents her evidence to Chat Noir.  But for some odd reason, she doesn’t seem very happy about the conclusion she’s reached...

Getting Things Backwards: Adrien Agreste sits quietly on the train, rereading what Marinette had handed him for the tenth time.  It... looked like a prescription for constipation medication.  But inspiration strikes him and he considers it as a metaphor... might it be a love letter after all?  Backwarder response.

First Times Are Always Awkward: Ladybug’s first time out against Stoneheart didn’t go quite as she’d planned it, but no one got hurt and everything went pretty well.  Didn’t it?  But when Alya pulls her aside the next morning, a little oversight of Tikki’s proves troublesome to our heroes’ dignity.

Communication Breakdown: With an Akuma rampaging through Paris, Ladybug came up with a desperate plan... requiring both Adrien and Chat Noir for it to work.  Thinking fast, Adrien passes the ring off to one person he could trust with it.  Now, Plagg explains how it works as quickly as he can -- but there’s just one problem...

“Busted,” Said the Kwami: Chat Noir found himself very impressed by Multimouse’s debut as a heroine of Paris.  So much so that, later that night, he finds himself having the strangest dream...  Kwami Buster response.

Nooroo Uses a Swear Word: He absolutely, positively does.  But he has a good reason for it, so... let’s hear him out, shall we?

Leave Some Stones Unturned: Wayzz leads Marinette through Master Fu’s abandoned studio, both to make sure everything is as he left it and to walk her through some of the many intriguing items he’d left behind.  But some locks are there for a reason, and some secrets are best left hidden...

Reservoir Kwamis: A completely silly Miraculous/Reservoir Dogs mashup.  Will only make sense if you know the movie.

What do you think, sirs?  (And madams?  And whoever else is out there?)

[stormears]

AO3 Author Tag Meme

I’ve used FFN since 2005 and still do, but lately it’s almost entirely to update 1 Naruto story that’s also cross-posted on AO3. For this, I’m using my newer, more frequently used AO3 account, which has the Naruto story and a handful of others.

AO3 Name: UmbreonLy [Umbreon if it was an adverb?] 

Fandoms & # of Fics: 4 Fandoms, 7 fics 

Naruto (link) 3

Haikyuu (link): 2

My Hero Academia (link): 1

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy (link): 1

Final Fantasy VII Remake (1 coming soon I swear to god) 

★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★

Fic you spent the most time on: Chasm (Naruto, Sakura-centric, pretty dark) has technically been going since 2015, though I didn’t post it till 2018! I started it as a oneshot for MadaSaku week 2015 and it became far too big, which is my most common fanfic problem. I adore it though.

Longest Fic: Chasm. 4 chapters and about 75k words. Chapter 5 is in progress and has about 2k. Chasm has always had very long chapters which I love, but the disgustingly slow updates are making me consider chapters in the 6-8k range instead of 11-14k.

Shortest Fic: Dragoneyes. About 5k. I saw a MadaTobi aesthetic/moodboard post with dragons in it, made by a total stranger, and decided to write fic about it, because I love those characters and I love dragons. It felt fun to write something random, unconnected, barely structured...made me feel like one of those peeps who write 500 word prompts on a whim. Even though it took two weeks. 

Most Hits: The Long Walk, about 7400 hits. Chapter 1 of an MHA fic I’ll never finish, where ABO is a worldwide epidemic that caused mass panic and destruction before people started to settle into the new ways. Pro hero and newly minted alpha Bakugou comes across quirkless(????) Izuku in a random danger zone, but quirkless Izuku acts deeply suspicious. Written because I hate PWP ABO, wanted to put a plot into that trope, and wanted a tense and evenly matched fight scene between an alpha and omega. The fic is mostly Bakugou and Midoriya stepping awkwardly around their bad past relationship and beating each other bloody with ABO trimmings, and I think people appreciate that mix. 

Most Kudos: The Long Walk again. Every day I check my email eagerly for chapter updates on stories I like, replies to reviews I’ve written, reviews/comments on my own stories, but three out of every four AO3 emails I get is a kudos alert for this story. 

Most Comment Threads: Probably Chasm. 

Fave Fic you wrote: I love Chasm...but Darcia (Haikyuu fantasy AU) makes me proud in a way that feels unique and so worthwhile. I rewrote this thing 8 or 9 times across 6 months, struggling, succeeding, failing, hating my work, actually crying at least once because I felt so inadequate...and at the end came away with Chapter 1 of a story that read like a crown jewel to me. It has JUST the vibe and words I wanted. It’s a piece where the struggle was actually worth it.  

Fic you want to write: Gonna write a FFVII Sefikura fanfic where legitimate SOLDIER Cloud Strife comes to Midgar and slowly, with trepidation and confusion, gets close to respected General Sephiroth, who, at the point of gaining Cloud’s trust and love, begins to drop larger and larger hints that he had evil machinations all along and will now possess and keep Cloud like a puppet. 

Share a bit of a WIP or share a story idea you’re planning:

Excerpt from wip possibly titled “Day of the Navigator” , a Haikyuu horror/space AU. Iwaizumi Hajime is an astronaut, or “navigator”, who was preparing to help evacuate Earth from incoming predatory aliens when the aliens came early. He is forced to flee Earth alone but is soon followed by a party of different aliens who bear a strong resemblance to the Seijoh team and alien Oikawa is going to break in and fuck him. 

Tried to write with a “distant, vague” POV because I thought it might help cover more events in less time/paragraphs. This was a good idea because at first this was a oneshot for IwaOi Horror Week. In October 2019. It’s still not done, goddamn me. I don’t love the writing of this scene but MEHH

-

They stalked him.

He tracked them by their body heat and by the vibrations they emitted. They floated around the solar panels like eels through coral. Their claws tapped along the hull, their heads butted it. When they came too close or when a careful maneuver of the controls was possible, the navigator pushed back. With drills, hammers or projectiles, he punished them for their bullheaded pestering by mauling them.

Once their bodies were torn, they floated limply away—for a while. Even when he shot wires into their flesh and electrocuted them till their flesh started to cook, they returned. Once two of them drifted into range of extraneous thrusters that burned them till they cooked entirely. Their crisp bodies floated end-over-end into space. Two more of them whirled frantically about them as they floated away. 

Godspeed, cunts. Hope you die.

They never did.

Each part of the body crushed or torn returned, even if it took weeks. Even bodies ripped in half grew back or stitched together again. And after one period of many weeks, he could not put off a walk to the water filtration tank any longer.

He kissed Tory the tyrannosaurus and set him on an elliptical to wait for him. Iwaizumi would find him happily in the gym once he was done. He suited up for a spacewalk from the midpoint of the ship to the aft end. 

The airlock door opened. There was nothing around but a drifting comet in the far distance, silent and white. He was safely alone in the infinite dark.

The journey was quick, unfettered. Past the soldier-like battalions of solar panels, past the engine block and heavy storage armor. Three-quarters down the ship by the aft was the main water filter. Its panel came unlocked easily, dispensed easily, took a replacement receptor easily. From this view, the ship’s many dents and scars were visible. Nothing had ever come close to rupturing, but there were dozens of minor dents from impacts with debris and—and predators. His skin crawled under his suit.

A sudden alarm in the helmet told him to run for his life. The predators were coming.

Iwaizumi followed the route faster than ever before: hand over hand on the handholds, nearly requiring the air jets to realign himself when he missed one and nearly floated off. None of the creatures were in sight yet.

Take me to victory, Ushijima had said, so he did not stop.

Iwaizumi instead took himself off the usual route to a different airlock entrance than usual. It was closer, but with a longer code required for entry. While he punched digits into the panel, the alarm in his suit sounded quadruple signals of four unique heat signatures.

He foolishly spared a glanced up. One of them was crawling between the forest of solar panels above. Atop its head was brunette-colored hair. It was the outcast attacking first, pupils shrunk to nothing.  

The airlock opened and Iwaizumi pushed inside with a helpless cry that fogged his helmet.

Over his head there was metallic clattering and bumping as the being crawled down the hull to him—no, two of them did. One of them grabbed at his suit as the door automatically closed.

Iwaizumi’s mind quit all efforts, longed to faint. It left him to protocol instead of thought—he twisted in the thing’s grip, executed a lean maneuver to flip and kick the attacker in the chest. There was a harsh vibration pulsing into him like an indignant scream near his head. 

He rocketed into the airlock foyer, unable to breathe. He struck a wall. The door closed and sealed but he still wasn’t breathing.

Air was evacuating the suit through a horizontal tear in the arm. Pressure was returning to the chamber at the same time, beating on his ears and throat. Iwaizumi collapsed to the floor. The helmet fell off and hit the tiles with an undignified clank-clank-CLANK.

Outside the little window in the door, a man’s face looked in: the red-mouthed outcast, now with narrowed brown eyes and an open, conniving mouth with lips. It was a face he’d seen as a boy many a time when he had time for play, when he cared about sports. It was the face of a rotten bastard looking at him through a net, who’d almost seen a cheating plan to fruition. And it was the knowing smile of a man plotting. Finally the navigator, too, became knowing.

How foolish to label this one an inept outcast. How shortsighted, to not see that it danced with danger first and most often, received the most wounds and that it led its pack in these hunting parties in pursuit of him. It had followed him and brought the others to follow him. It knew how to smile. It was truly intelligent life, almost human in its persistence. Its humanity made the animal nearly able to capture and destroy him.

Take me to victory was such a fucking stupid thing to say when he had nearly been pulled away from his escape and into an open mouth. The smiling thing twitched its fingers by the round window to catch his attention. Its hand briefly seemed to be inside the glass.

Iwaizumi squinted his eyes and recognized that he was beginning to hallucinate, that his heartrate was lightning-fast and nauseating. His arms and legs shook so hard he could not control them. He gritted his teeth and tried to move them anyway, watched by the leader of the hunting pack. He rose by grabbing the nearby staircase railing and pulling forward. With it, he began a stiff, horrible walk up the short metal stair steps to the hall beyond.

The walk was short and then the railing was gone and then he could no longer stand. After turning the corner, he fell onto his knees. He sat just out of sight of that window, shaking for hours and then days.

-

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[virmillion]

Bleeding Out

look who’s back with another songfic bc they decided writing a cohesive short story was easier than adding a chapter in a story they’ve already started whoops // back at it again with that good a n g s t // my apologies in advance this is not a happy one

Words: 5k

Song: Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

Pairings: Prinxiety if you squint

Warnings: blood, swearing, character death, let me know if there’s more specific ones you need // I am not kidding about the bleeding, if that is in any way triggering to you I am begging you to turn away now, it seems ok in the beginning but it will be bad for you later and I want everyone to be safe PLEASE

I'm bleeding out So if the last thing that I do Is bring you down I'll bleed out for you

   Things were never supposed to get this out of hand. Roman always swore on his life that his room couldn’t do any real harm if he didn’t let it. Accordingly, it seemed as if it would be perfectly safe to bring in one of the other sides on an adventure that required a bit more work than one person could provide, even a powerhouse such as Roman. His offer to take a buddy on this quest was an unexpected one, but accepted nonetheless. The fact that Virgil was the one to take it on, however, was quite the surprise to all sides involved. As the pair cracked open the prince’s door to the faraway place beyond, everything seemed full of hope and wonder, from the shining sun to the quaint village.    For now.

   “Oh it’s terrible, just terrible!” a townsperson wails, clawing at Roman’s sleeve. “Those awful gangs have ravaged our lands again! Our crops have been razed, our stores ransacked, our livelihoods ruined! You have to help us, please!”    “Never fear, my good friend,” Roman replies, taking up a self-important stance. Virgil rolls his eyes at the theatrics. “We shall return peace to your village, and bring those dirty heathens to justice, or my name isn’t Roman Sanders!” Virgil refrains from mention that his surname wasn’t technically given, so much as borrowed from Thomas. Ignorant to Virgil’s smirk at the overzealousness, Roman marches through the town, making sure to speak to every citizen and comfort them in their time of pain. For all that the others make fun of him, Roman really knows how to be sympathetic to those he’s trying to help. From the crankiest old man at the far end of town to the little toddlers hiding behind their mother’s skirts, everyone brightens up at the sight of their benevolent prince, come to save the day.    With each new villager, the details vary a bit, but the general issue tends to remain the same—a gang of people destroying the town and knocking out anyone in their way. Standard procedure in one of Roman’s adventures, as far as Virgil knows, but the smaller inconsistencies are what worry him. In some minds, the gang is actually one person with a vengeance, while others think that it’s a pack of criminals looking for a fight. Sometimes the gang is traveling on foot, other times it uses otherworldly monsters to move and destroy. As Roman is the one in control, it should probably be fine regardless. His room is just part of the amalgamation of Thomas, right? So everything should be perfectly harmless.    “All that’s needed now is a formal invitation from the mayor of this fine land,” Roman says, taking Virgil by the sleeve-covered wrist and leading him to a building nearly identical to every other one they’d passed thus far. “She doesn’t like to think of herself as higher than everyone else, so she insists on having the same amenities as her villagers.” Inside of said identical house waits a heavyset woman in a beautiful flowing dress, with only bracelets for jewelry. She welcomes Roman with an embrace, followed by a nod to Virgil—Roman had spoken with her in the past about how to approach him as a stranger.    “Nice to meet you, Virgil, I take it?” At his nod, she continues, “My name’s Lena, and I’m sure you’ve heard the rundown from everyone outside already. Roman, standard procedure, just see if you can find these guys and stop them. We’d appreciate it greatly, as always.” Roman nods with a grin before backing out the door, waving to Lena. Virgil gives her a small smile as well, following his friend.    “So, there’s a great lake blocking the village in to the south and to the east, as well as endless plains to the north, which means these people probably headed west, where the mountains begin.” Roman points in each direction as they head out of the town, already equipped with a sword. “The mountains are gonna be a little tough, what with the coldness and all the caves they could hide in, but I’m sure we can handle it. That’s why I brought you along, after all. Can’t expect me to do all this searching alone, can you?” Virgil shrugs, still unsure why he volunteered to go on this adventure. Either way, he’s grateful when Roman conjures an extra set of warm clothes to carry.    “I don’t expect it to be too chilly,” the prince continues, “but better safe than sorry. I could probably figure out a way to neutralize the sensation of cold, except I haven’t really tried before, and it’s not like we’ve got the time for it now.” Honestly, Virgil probably already knows this, and doesn’t really need elaboration, but Roman doesn’t care. He’s never gotten to take someone else with him on a quest, so his natural instinct is to fill the air with conversation. At the very least, Virgil isn’t protesting it, either. He even offers a few clever retorts, spurring Roman’s enthusiasm on the way to the distant grey mountains.

So I bare my skin And I count my sins And I close my eyes And I take it in I'm bleeding out I'm bleeding out for you, for you.

   “Gloves?” Roman offers, letting one boot-clad foot sink into snow. Virgil takes the offered garment, slipping the purple knit material over his shaking fingers. With hats and scarves already donned, there’s not much more left to increase warmth, but Roman insists that this is how to get the full experience of the adventure, by letting the senses get the most realistic effect. Virgil thinks Roman had one too many second cookies from Patton this morning.    “I still don’t see why you needed a partner on this quest. You’ve never needed one before.” Virgil burrows his nose deeper into a striped scarf, his words coming out muffled.    “Because I knew that the villains in question this time were in mountains, and it’s always best to take a buddy on mountain trips, just in case something happens where one of us needs assistance due to complications from the adventure. If someone were to be trapped alone in the cold, I can’t imagine it would end well.”    “Yeah, I got that, but why haven’t you brought someone before? Is this really the first time you’ve gone into mountains?”    Roman exhales slowly, watching his breath curl and drift into the sky like a distress signal. “More that it’s a rare location, and we were never that close before. You guys never really saw my quests as legitimate things until that time with the dragon witch.” He rubs his shoulder, where a scar still resides.    Virgil gives a hum to acknowledge Roman’s explanation, while also not knowing how to respond to it. He looks like an angry marshmallow with all the layers he’s covered in, but Roman isn’t about to tell him so, not after he’s finally making progress in the pair growing closer. Plus, when someone agrees to go on a potentially dangerous quest with you, calling them a gelatin treat isn’t usually the best way to assure that they remain on the potentially dangerous quest.    They continue in silence for a while, sometimes veering off track to peer inside of caves set in the mountain, all of which are dead ends. Only a few feet deep, useful for the sheer purpose of a brief respite from the relentless cold. That’s not to say they don’t utilize them—in fact, they stop several times to watch the snow fall and catch their breaths, seeing the wind dust over their snowy footprints. Like it doesn’t want them to be found. As soon as Virgil voices as much each time, Roman smiles bigger before taking off, determined to not let a sour thought interrupt the adventure.    “So anyway, once we find these jerks, I’m not sure what the exact plan is.” Virgil glares daggers at Roman for this, but the prince continues unperturbed. “I can’t prepare a scheme in advance given the inconsistent stories from the townspeople, but the general idea will be that you remain out of sight, while I go in with my sword. If they don’t attack me, I’ll try to work it out peacefully, but if they appear trigger happy, fists are going to fly.” Roman pats the scabbard of his sword reassuringly, half-checking to make sure it’s still there. Of course, he can always conjure more if need be, but what’s the fun in that? None of the greatest adventurers in those books Thomas loves had that sort of ability on their side, so Roman tries to avoid it as well.    “It’s so freaking cold,” Virgil mutters a short while later.    “Maybe if you’d wear more layers on your legs, that wouldn’t be a problem,” Roman replies, looking pointedly at his companion’s black skinny jeans. “If you could just let me conjure some sweats or snow pants or something, even flannels—”    “Absolutely not, my legs look great in these,” Virgil hisses. Roman raises his hands in surrender, not denying the statement. “How much longer?”    “You know as well as I do that the whole point of this expedition is finding them, and that we don’t know the exact location.” Virgil scowls, pulling his hat lower over his ears and straightening his hood over it.    “It’s practically been days, what if they aren’t up here?”    “It’s been hours at best, and because of the landscape. No self-respecting gang member would risk being caught by hanging out in an open plain, and regardless of the size, there’s no way they could mobilize themselves across a lake as big as the one behind us.” Roman feels a twinge of pride at being able to explain something so close to him as his quests, wondering if this is how Logan gets to feel when he uses longer words that don’t make sense. Maybe the feeling of cleverness is what makes him do it so much. Virgil isn’t calling any of this stupid, which is immensely helpful as well—Roman doesn’t know what he’d do if someone were to be critical of this crucial part of his life. Luckily, Virgil seems to be cognizant of this, and makes no snide remarks at it. Needless to say, Roman is relieved.

When the day has come That I've lost my way around And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground

   “Our footprints are vanishing,” Virgil comments, looking back at the undisturbed white snow. Indeed, the wind has covered all of their tracks. For all they know, they haven’t gotten twenty feet into the mountains, and the only proof that this is not the case resides in the village in the distance, far too small to be that close. Roman glances back as well, more to admire the land from afar than to check for footprints. The sprawling yellow fields, the glistening blue water, the replica houses dotting the roads. In front of them is only white powder everywhere, eating up anything else in sight. Roman begins to worry as they go deeper into the mountains, the scenery vanishing behind them. They really should have found the gang by now, or at least a sign that they’d been through here. His ears grow numb as he grows desperate, trying not to let it show for Virgil’s sake.    Roman is the prince, he’s supposed to be better than this. Even now, they’ve been walking long enough that he can’t say for certain which way the village is. The sun is beaming, forcing his eyes to squint, but that’s hardly an indication of anything. For all he knows, they’ve gotten turned around and are heading in the complete wrong direction. Princes aren’t supposed to get lost. Princes are supposed to protect their companions. Princes are supposed to help. Princes aren’t supposed to march their friends into frozen oblivion.    Okay, Roman tells himself, if we don’t see a sign of them in one hundred paces, we turn around.    Ten.    More grey mountains.    Twenty.    A sniffle and shiver from Virgil.    Thirty.    Roman’s foot catches dangerously on a patch of ice.    Forty.    Virgil nearly goes down.    Fifty.    Roman can’t feel his extremities.    Sixty.    Now is not the time to lose hope.    Seventy.    But he may not have a choice.    Eighty.    Roman begins to panic.    At eighty seven paces, Virgil raises a trembling hand to point off in the distance.    “Look, smoke!” Indeed, smoke is billowing in the air maybe thirty feet ahead of them, a definite indication of someone’s presence. Be it friend or foe, the most important thing now is to track down the source of the smoke. With a renewed sense of purpose, Roman picks up the pace, as does Virgil, the pair tromping through the snow and ignoring the feeling of the cold seeping through their shoes. Too soon, while also not soon enough, they arrive at a small hill, the last obstacle blocking the site. Roman bites his lip to stop himself from pointing out to Virgil that this, this was why he needed a companion, to push him through the harder moments that he couldn’t surpass himself. If they didn’t need to be quiet right now, Roman would explain it all, how he never truly liked being alone on these quests, how arduous they were alone, how grateful he was that Virgil didn’t reject the invitation. He’ll tell him later, when it’s safe.    Roman points at the ground, an indication for Virgil to remain under cover while Roman moves forward to investigate, but Virgil shakes his head. No way in hell is he letting Princey get hurt if he can prevent it. To be fair, that’s the reaction Roman had the first time someone told him to hang back. Begrudgingly, Roman lifts his eyes to the sky for a moment before nodding, holding out a hand to help Virgil forward. He takes it.    Around the small hill is a gently roaring fire, watched by one person with only the minimum layers on that could prevent freezing to death. They don’t even shift their gaze at the boys’ approach, staring deep into the flames. At their feet rests a small bag zipped shut, a match to several other bags surrounding the fire. This person obviously isn’t alone, or else they went to a lot of trouble to make it seem that way.    “Hey, are you—” Roman begins, a hand on his sword, but the person doesn’t give him a chance to finish, already on their feet with a larger blade in hand. Roman whips out his own, brandishing it in front of himself and shifting to cover Virgil. “I hope this is fun for you, because I’ve been itching to fight for a while now.”    The person grins, widening into a defensive stance. When they speak, their voice is rough from disuse. “You’re the wimp they sent after us? Pathetic.” They shift forward, pulling back the arm holding the sword as a wind up before launching themselves at Roman, the blade flying. He blocks it swiftly, stopping their blade with his own as sparks fly out to the side. Virgil raises his fists, knowing full well that they won’t hold up against a sword, but not caring either. Roman forces his sword up and out, throwing the attacker off. “Oh, a feisty one? How exciting.” The person taunts him, circling around the backside of the fire and letting the tip of their blade drag over the snow. Roman and Virgil duck as a chunk of coal is kicked from the fire at their heads, and all hell breaks loose. Swords and sparks are flying everywhere, melting the snow and burning holes in the bags around the fire. Virgil hangs back, ready to jump in at any moment, while also realizing that interfering could easily do more harm than good for Roman.    As Roman gets that trademark self-important smile on his face, success assured, he messes up. A misstep. A trip. A failure to block. He sees the assailant weave away, out of his range of attack. Closer to Virgil. Roman whips his head back to check on his companion, terrified for his safety. An accident. An error. A condemnation.    The attacker sees.    And smiles.    And runs for Virgil, sword drawn.    Roman throws himself across the fire into the line of attack, in between Virgil and this monster. His sword is swinging forward, desperate to block, trying to protect, and it’s almost enough. Almost.    The attacker is quicker.    Their sword slices through the air, almost reaching Virgil. Almost.    Roman arrives in the nick of time, his sword held out and his face furious, sweat dripping and freezing under his layers, torn and shredded from the fight.    Another sword slices forward. Not his. Aimed at Virgil’s heart. Interrupted by Roman’s body. A blade protruding from his stomach. Roman falls. The attacker laughs. Roman drops his sword.    Virgil picks it back up, rightly pissed. The foe laughs harder. Virgil stabs the sword clean through their skull. They go down.    Roman does not get back up.

When the sky turns gray And everything is screaming I will reach inside Just to find my heart is beating

   Roman watches the clouds soaring overhead, dotting over the pale blue sky as the sun sinks. Something is yelling, a vague shout that barely reaches his ears. His mind isn’t racing—rather, it’s puttering along like a snail, turning over each individual thought carefully before gently moving on to the next. Something about a village, a lake, snow, a fight, and Virgil. Roman blinks, watching the sky turn more grey with the dying sun. Whatever that yelling is, it’s incredibly loud, while also almost dull to his ears. Just another sound. Briefly, Roman registers something painful in his core, but he’s more focused on the cold down there, almost like someone poured water over him to let it freeze on his bare stomach. Another voice yells, his own, but inwardly, begging him to focus, to listen, to pay attention. He blinks a few more times, preferring to remain in this dreamlike state, where he doesn’t have to think about why, exactly, he’s in pain, or why the sky is fading away. The voice grows more insistent, pleading and angry and desperate. With no small amount of resignation, Roman gives in.    “—it you jerk, you said we couldn’t get hurt in here!” Virgil’s voice finally breaks through the fog. “You swore we’d be fine and you fucking lied and I don’t know what to do so could you just answer me?” Roman groans a little, lifting a hand in the air. Something warm engulfs it, squeezing tightly. “Roman, thank God, can you get up? I need to get you back to the village, someone there can help, I’m sure of it.” The words go in one ear and out the other as Roman settles his other hand on his stomach, something cold protruding out of it. “I know I’m not supposed to take it out since that just makes the bleeding worse but I don’t know if I can get you back to the village in time for them to help you—” Virgil is babbling, panicking more by the second. Roman grabs feebly at his red sash, wrapped around his outermost coat. Virgil seizes it like a lifeline, desperately wrapping Roman’s wound with it to staunch the flow. With some kind of strength that neither knew he had, Virgil gets Roman onto his back, stumbling back the way they came, to the village in the distance. He continues muttering to himself about how this was supposed to be safe, he wasn’t supposed to be able to get hurt, but it’s too quiet for Roman to register as his mind floats away, unconcerned with the folly of two boys on a cold mountain path. The only thing anchoring him is the soft beating of a drum, rare and small, but still present, still there. He vaguely registers it as his pulsing heart, but not enough to worry about it. Not enough to fear how rapidly it slows. Roman considers the sky above them, its greying color twin to that of the snow below them. He never realized how quickly Virgil could move when he needed to. He wondered if it would be quick enough. He hoped that Virgil wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of Roman not making it. He imagined that would be far worse than what Roman was going through himself. Virgil runs faster.

Oh, you tell me to hold on Oh, you tell me to hold on But innocence is gone And what was right is wrong

   “Please stay with me Roman, we’re almost there, I promise,” Virgil says, his legs trembling beneath him. Even with the adrenaline of the moment, he knows he can’t hold out forever, carrying Roman like this, but at least the village is in sight. That mayor, Lena or whoever, surely she’s seen this before, surely she’ll know what to do. Roman has grown limp on Virgil’s back. Virgil runs faster.    He begins bargaining with the prince, offering anything he can think of if Roman would just stay awake. His headphones, a positive outlook, more help in the future, less snarky comments, his sick nasty Tim Burton poster, anything if Roman can just hold on.    Roman’s breathing slows.    Virgil runs faster.    Nowhere near soon enough for Virgil’s liking, he begins the final descent down the mountain, his tracks remaining visible in the thinning snow as the village looms ahead. Virgil runs faster. His feet pound into snow, then dirt, then pavement, not as fast as his heart. The prim houses grow as he gets closer, Roman too limp for his liking.    “Someone help!” Virgil calls desperately into the streets. He wobbles on unstable legs, searching for anyone. The whole town appears abandoned. Roman is silent.    Virgil stumbles his way to the mayor’s house, or the one he assumes to be it, given the similarity of every goddamn building in this town. Nailed to the front door is a piece of paper in curly script, fluttering gently in the wind. Virgil grows more hopeless as he reads it.    Welcome back, Roman and Virgil!    We’re so glad you could help with our situation, but it would appear some of the gang members returned to do more damage. Accordingly, we have fled over the plains to avoid them, but there is a handsome sum waiting in the town hall for you.    Thanks again! Sincerely, Lena and the townspeople.    Virgil tears the letter from the door and crushes it under his feet, watching the ink bleed to the edges from the snow under his boot. With two well-placed kicks, he breaks the lock and forces the door open, depositing Roman on a table by the entrance. The sun disappears under the horizon outside, taking with it the warmth of day. Virgil slams the door shut and collapses into a chair by Roman. What he wouldn’t give for telepathy among the sides. He pulls a phone from the pocket of his jeans, ready to send a text, but no dice—the freezing mountains drained his battery completely. Virgil slips a careful hand into Roman’s layers, feeling around for the prince’s phone. Nothing, nothing, nothing, something in his shirt pocket—the phone. Virgil yanks it out, his thumbprint bypassing the lock easily—the sides were all from the same person, why even bother having a passcode? He shoots off a message to Logan and Patton, pleading for them to get to Roman’s room immediately. Virgil doesn’t even know if this will work, as no one has ever been to Roman’s room for an adventure besides him, and for all he knew Roman had to be present to get the sides to the quest. For all Virgil knew, Logan and Patton would open a door to an empty room and assume a joke had been played, laughing off Virgil’s fear. He sends another message, just in case.    Roman doesn’t move.

When the hour is nigh And hopelessness is sinking in And the wolves all cry To fill the night with hollering

   Virgil watches the moon lift into the sky, bathing the houses outside in a white glow. No response from the other two sides, but the message says delivered. He can only hope at this point. Virgil props his elbow up on the table beside Roman to rest his chin on his fist, fighting to stay awake, to not let Roman slip away from him. He clasps the prince’s hand tightly, feeling the warmth leaking out of it by the second. Outside, noises clatter, echoing through the empty streets and amplifying Virgil’s fear. That stupid note, telling him that the gang returned, was really not what he needed to see. Their possible presence, maybe even in this house, is the only thing keeping Virgil from flicking the lights on, from starting a fire or a candle or something, lest it give the pair away. Raucous laughter burns his ears, swelling and diminishing as dark figures pass the house, never pausing to investigate the shadows camped out inside. Virgil’s heart sinks as tears leak from his eyes, dripping down his cheeks and making their intertwined hands ever colder.    Something looms outside the window, its presence foreboding and worrying Virgil that much more. He crouches under the table, praying that his shadow will look like nothing more than an abandoned bag, that Roman’s prone form will just look like decorations, something that can be ignored instead of attacked. The shape outside gets closer, closer, too close, near enough to tap the window. Just as Virgil is about to pick Roman up and sneak further into the house, the form backs up from the window, moving calmly down the street. Virgil thanks his lucky stars in the sky outside.    Roman stirs.

When your eyes are red And emptiness is all you know With the darkness fed I will be your scarecrow

   “Roman, oh my God, you’re awake, talk to me, please,” Virgil begs, crushing the prince’s hand in his grip. Roman gives a slight cough, wincing as he rests a hand where the blade protrudes.    “Virgil,” he gasps, his voice torn and ragged.    “I’m right here, come on, Roman.” Water drips down Virgil’s face, splashing onto Roman. Why couldn’t this be like that dumb scene in Tangled, where his emotions fixed his stupid friend? “You need to get through this, tell me how to get back to your room so we can get help.”    “Can’t,” Roman gets out, breathing heavily. His eyes crack open, sliding over to Virgil’s tearstained face and shining eyes, pink from crying.    “You can’t leave me alone here, how can I help you, please?” Virgil begs, taking Roman’s hand in both of his.    “Protect you,” Roman hisses. His voice grows softer.    “That’s not good enough!”    “Fight for you.”    “Roman, I swear I will beat you up when we get out of this stupid quest thing your room forced us into! How do I help you?”    “Can’t,” Roman repeats, “can’t can’t can’t can’t.”    “If it takes me wringing your neck, you are going to tell me how to get us out of here,” Virgil pleads.    “Door.” Door? What door? Three thoughts slam into Virgil at once—they came in through a door in a hill, the door is too far, and he might be too late. Virgil rattles off another text to the sides, worried at their continued absence, while preparing to heave Roman onto his back for the long journey. They’ll never make it. He has to try.    Out the door and down the streets, Virgil races between shadows, cowering in fear when the slightest noise creeps up two roads away. Roman has fallen silent. Almost there.

So I bare my skin And I count my sins And I close my eyes And I take it in And I'm bleeding out I'm bleeding out for you, for you.

   Roman shudders as Virgil kicks the door in the grassy hill open. “Sorry, sorry!” Virgil squeaks, trying to stabilize himself so as not to disturb the prince. He sidesteps through the door, not bothering to close it behind him before depositing Roman on his neatly made bed. Logan and Patton launch themselves up from their chairs by the door, widening their eyes at the sight of Virgil appearing out of nowhere.    “We got your messages, but it was just his room—”    “We couldn’t find you and our texts weren’t going through—    “What can we do to help—” Logan and Patton trip over themselves in worry before fully understanding the severity of Roman’s situation. The sword disappeared with all the warm layers as Virgil passed through the door, leaving a critically injured Roman without anything to staunch the wound.    “Can we conjure something to help him?” Virgil pleads, still holding tightly to the prince’s hand. Patton looks at Logan, unsure of what to do. Logan lifts Roman’s limp wrist, checking the fluttery pulse. Nearly still.    “He’s a side, so he won’t actually die,” Logan begins, “but his physical form will be gone. Roman as we know him will be gone, but Thomas won’t just lose his creativity, it will just vanish into an aspect with the others.”    “That’s not good enough!” Virgil shouts. “Roman can’t just go, we need him!”    “I’m afraid we can’t help him, though,” Logan says apologetically. “We aren’t human, so we can’t exactly get him to a hospital or a doctor or something.” Patton remains silent, his eyes welling up. Roman groans softly, squeezing Virgil’s hand lightly.    “Roman, please,” Virgil begs, as Logan and Patton come up behind him. “Stay here, just hold on. Please.” Roman’s grip softens, then completely goes, leaving a cold hand motionless under Virgil’s grasp. Roman shuts his eyes, and slowly vanishes from the bed, his hand a phantom in Virgil’s. Patton sobs. Logan looks at the floor. Virgil screams.

Tag List:

@sakurahayasaki @erlenmeyertrash @lemonpepperpizza @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @milomeepit @leesacrakon

[evergrace]

Hi! I'm the person asking about Purdue (I'm back) and I was wondering if you live in an apartment? Or if you knew if there were any near Purdue/what they're like??

hello again anon!! so last year i lived in a dorm and this year i’m living in an apartment!! lemme get into some of the details about both. i must preface with saying that i think it’s probably more in your favor to live in a dorm first year, since a lot of the apartments are booked the year previous by upperclassman (i signed my lease last october – my first semester), but sometimes you can find one far off campus (then you will need a car). SO LONG STORY SHORT, i recommend dorm first year, but apartment after that. unless you ABSOLUTELY KNOW that you’re going to go to purdue, do NOT look for an apartment; they are expensive and most leases get signed the year previous, so you’d have to start looking right now if you were to start in fall 2018.

this response is very long, so everything is under the cut to prevent cluttering people’s dashes.

dorm

features, provided appliances, services, etc.

some of the dorms have air conditioning; mine did not, however it did not bother me at all!! you can have some appliances in the dorms, but none are provided for you except for in the kitchen in the basement.

you are allowed to bring the basics: refrigerator + microwave. you cannot bring a toaster, rice cooker, crockpot, or anything else basically. a large fridge and a stove/oven are provided in most basements of the res halls. so are cabinets to store dishes + cookware, but i do not suggest leaving anything down there for public use.

in EVERY hall but Hawkins you are required to have a meal plan. meal plans are honestly a life-saver no matter how little or how much you eat. it’s always nice to be able to stop on campus and not have to cook for yourself or constantly buy meals. not saying cooking isn’t fun (i prefer it, but i have a billion food allergies), but sometimes it’s just convenient to have pre-made meals for you.

laundry!!!! there is laundry!! in!! the!! basement!! take advantage of it. i will probably end up doing laundry in my boyfriend’s dorm this year instead of going to the laundromat.

cleaning supplies are also provided either at the main hall desk or in a closet on your floor! this is useful as you do not need to buy/bring a vacuum, broom, etc.

cost

living in a dorm can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $15,000 depending on where you live and what meal plan you get. personally, i had the boilerflex unlimited 500 (tbh i didn’t use all the meals or dining dollars lmao). anyWAYS it is infinitely cheaper than living off-campus imo (unless you’re on the higher side but even then i think a dorm is more worth it).

dining dollars enable you to be able to buy food/drinks/groceries on campus with money that is pre-paid as part of your meal plan. this only exists for the boilerflex unlimited 500 and boilerflex unlimited 250, but it is well worth it imo. i used my dining dollars to get groceries at the small store on campus.

social aspect

sO i lived on a floor where there was a thing called a “learning community.” these are groups of students that share classes and have meetings and whatnot and get to know each other (basically). click on the link for more detailed information. there are LOADS of learning communities around campus in the dorms and they’re actually a great way to get to know people :)

also being in a dorm, you can get to know the people on your floor through floor events, similar classes, etc. also odds are you’ll have a roommate (or two) and you’ll be able to get to know them! my freshman roommate and i weren’t amazing friends, but we did talk and do homework together and such. it’s just kind of like a built-in friend if ya need one, and it can teach you a lot about yourself to live with someone else!

location

being on campus is honestly the best thing ever; if i had had a person i’d wanted to room with for another year, i probably would have stayed on campus.

alSO being on campus is super convenient for work + school purposes – being close to classes is super convenient, and being close to work is also super convenient! i lived in the middle of campus, only 5-10 minutes from class in terms of walking distance. i lived right across from the gym (where i worked). now i’m living up on the north end by the physics building, but it’s gonna take me WAY longer to get to classes + to my research. it’s now about a 25 minute walk to my research building as opposed to a previous 10 minutes.

living on campus, you’ll probably also just be able to walk everywhere unless you wanna get off campus. refer to the location category under the apartment tab for more, but i’ll probably have to take the bus to some classes and to the store and stuff.

further expenses

i had very few personal expenses. as i said previously, i used my dining dollars + meal plan to the best of my ability (to buy my groceries, eat my meals, etc. without buying a ton of food + spending loads of money). that being said, i think the only thing i spent money on was laundry, which was relatively cheap.

(besides of course buying stationery and shampoo and whatnot but that’s all my decision ya know – personal i guess??)

apartment \ i will talk about my apartment which may or may not be different from others just fyi

features, provided appliances, services, etc.

some apartments have air conditioning; mine does not haha but again, it does not bother me at all, and it makes it slightly cheaper!! in my apartment (and in most, if not all) some appliances are provided already such as the full-size refrigerator, stove/oven, microwave, and dishwasher. i personally am bringing a crockpot, rice cooker, and toaster.

you will not have a meal plan and will have to cook for yourself, but if you like cooking, then you’ll be fine. you’ll also have to buy groceries to do this – an extra expense.

there is no washer or dryer in most apartments and if there are, they are likely more expensive in terms of rent; i do not have one, so you must either go to a laundromat, pay for laundry services in west lala, or handwash/use the dorms. thankfully i have a way in to the laundry via my boyfriend (it’s relatively cheap on campus).

cost

my rent is roughly the cost of living in the dorm i did last year BUT i don’t have a meal plan, so the rent is actually more than the board w/o the meal plan. does that make sense? like the board for my boyfriend’s room w/o a meal plan is like $5k, but my rent is a total of around $10k… so yeah. anyways, you also have to pay for internet, heat, electricity, water, etc. so those are some extra expenses. for me, heat, elec, and water are all a static fee every month, but internet and laundry do cost extra money.

extra expenses that you probably don’t think about: cleaning supplies, groceries, gas, cookware, furniture, heat, water, electricity, internet, etc.

i looked at about 15 different apartments; the one i’m living in is the cheapest one i could find. i found anywhere from $700 - $3400 per MONTH in terms of rent.

social aspect

i mean, you’re living in a building where you don’t really know anyone unless you chose to live near someone in that building that you’ve known for a while. for me, i’m living two floors below a couple friends of mine and my boyfriend’s. but other than that, i know no one else in the building and honestly no one else in any other buildings around me. i don’t know a lot of people at purdue, but sometimes living in an apartment can cause you to isolate yourself since you’re not in the heat of campus anymore.

but you can have parties + functions + dinner get-togethers at your place, which are always fun. i personally like having other couples that we are friends with over to have dinner + drinks. but like i said, harder to develop relationships since you’re not on campus – this probably requires previous friendships.

location

you’re off campus. walking to classes will take longer, getting to the grocery store will require the bus; i’ll probably even take the bus to some classes that are far away.

tbh it’s kind of inconvenient to live in an apartment far away; having a car is not in my interests, but it would be useful. i am probably going to use a car service such as blueindy or zipcar to get around when i can’t take the bus.

again, you’ll have more unforeseen expenses that require more money than you may have planned/allotted.

further expenses

cleaning supplies, groceries, gas for your car if you have one, laundry if you go to the laundromat, furniture, appliances, cookware, etc. – basically things that you’ll need for an apartment + other things you’ll need for cleaning, food, etc.

internet, water, heat, electricity – some places have a flat/static rate but you will never be provided with internet.

netflix, hulu, amazon prime, other services for shipment/tv.

personal expenses: clothes, stationery, books, coffee at starbucks, etc. – things that you want. these come last now that you have other needs to pay for that are not provided for you as they are on campus.

if you have further questions about any of the above, please do not hesitate to ask. for personal questions such as the cost of my rent, more specific details of my apartment, total costs, how long my lease is, more specific location, etc. please come off of anon and i am more than willing to talk.

[gocasualrunawaycollection-blog]

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

"Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

How many of you own a Life Insurance Policy and for what amount.?

Are young ppl thinking about life insurance?

How do i buy car insurance and how do I find a insurance company that suits me (cheap)?

ok so I've seen a car I would like to buy, how do I get car insurance? should I ring a call or get insured online? Also a list of names of insurance companies would be helpful? thanks""

Which is the best medical insurance policy?

which is the best medical insurance policy in india..? i need a mediclaim policy for my Family(3 members). lic ,star health, icici or any other else..? please suggest me.""

Insurance and driving records?

After complete the traffic school, somehow the DMV-California did not dismiss my ticket. Until my insurance renewal coming up, they notified me of this ticket, I immediately sent the correction form to DMV to correct this and also sent a clarification to my insurance to explain this matter. My question is does my insurance can take this misshape by DMV to raise my premiums?""

I need Auto insurance for the Yukon?

I am looking for a canadian auto insurance company for coverage in the yukon. Having trouble finding one online. Can anyone help? Thanks

How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old.?

Nissan 350z in florida. I heard that if you take drivers ed in school it lowers your insurance, is this true? To SLACKER286 (answers all of my car questions lol): how old are you and how much is your insurance each month for your 350z, thanks""

""Insurance , real estate, law question?""

if a person drive a vehicle :D, the vehicle is under the other person name H, H buy the car insurance, the D doenst have the car insurance, and D get in the car accident with K, K is the one who is false, Who is the one false in this situation, it is D or K. Because K are false, will K insurance company pay all the fee in the accident and hospital? Will K insurance company pay for the damage K cause for D? Will K insurance company pay for D health injuries? Even if D doesnt have the insurance, D drive under the vehicle that belong to H, H has the vehicle AND INSURANCE UNDER HER NAME, AND D is H sister.""

How did mandatory car insurance effect prices upon gov requirements to have insurance to drive?

how did this government policy effect costs?

Insurance question after engine blow up?

I was wondering, will insurance pay for damage to a car without being in accident? Let me give you example. What if I was driving on highway and my engine would blow up (not during racing, just cruising around), and I don't have manufacturers warranty anymore. Can I file claim, and will insurance pay for new engine?""

Grad. Student needs health insurance?

I will be quitting my full-time job to attend Grad school full-time in May. Unfortunately I will lose my health insurance covered by my employer. I really cannot go with out health insurance. I need affordable coverage. Any suggestions?

Where is a good source of life insurance sales leads.?

I am a new life agent and I am trying to get started in the insurance industry. I am looking for more sources of leads other than my family, friends or the local chamber I've joined. Does anyone have any ideas??""

Can an insurance company lower their initial written pain & suffering offer if I counter offer?

I've been told they won't but CAN they? Please only answer if you KNOW. Thanks.

How flexible are life insurance quotes. Can I negotiate with company for a better rate.?

I got a quote for my family and me for life insurance (20 years/400K each). I would like to negotiate a better rate with the broker (assuming same coverage).Can it be done, or are the rates fixed, is there room to negotiate. we did the blood work and were offered standard rates.""

Is there a penalty for not signing up for affordable health care if disabled collecting medicare?

Now my question is am I going to be penalized for not having any insurance and only having Medicare I and my husband are on disability, because of brain tumors and seizures? it ...show more""

How much does the insurance usually go up on a 2door car?

How much does the insurance usually go up on a 2door car?

On average how much does it cost to deliver a baby in a hospital?

With insurance, what is usually the total parents have to pay?""

Cheap to insure drift cars?

im 18 and trying to get a drift car. I looked at nissan skyline, however as the cheapest quote i could get was 37,000, i might not be able to get that, as that was without declaring mods. wondering if anyone that knows drift cars that are cheap to insure or how to get cheaper insurance?""

Info on car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Hi, I am a 17 year old female who lives in the suburbs of New jersey. I will be driving a 1999 year model car and i want to know if anyone can give me a quote on insurance. The insurance will be paid only by me by myself not with my parents. i really need help or else I will never be able to drive! best answer = 10 points!!!!""

What is an affordable life insurance for a cigarette smoker?

What is an affordable life insurance for a cigarette smoker?

How much a month for loan and insurance for a 350z.?

Ok so I'm gonna be 20 in a couple months and I'm tired of driving my crappy integra. I've been saving up and I'm set on getting a 350z. My price range is about 12,000 tops. If I put a down payment of about 5 or 6 grand how much would I pay per month for the loan. And how much would I pay a month for the loan along with the insurance. I'm on my parents plan. I don't know much about interest rates. Can you give me estimates on different lengths of loans and interest rates Thanks ily""

Cheap car insurance for 17 year old?

very cheap car insurance like (up to 1500)

Do you think my car insurance would go up?

I am 18 years old. If my father were to buy me an Eclipse, do you think my car insurance would raise?""

Where can I get babysitting insurance in the UK?

I have scoured the internet but keep being told they won't give me babysitting insurance unless I am a registered childminder. Help please?

I can help with affordable health insurance in Las Vegas?

I can help with affordable health insurance in Las Vegas?

How much would the insurance of a 125 cc Honda Innova cost in Ireland ?

I'm 17 turning 18 in december and want to start driving the bike .

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?

How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?

Do I need to pay car insurance with my driver's permit?

Okay, so I'm almost 17, and can't get my driver's permit until I buy my own car. (parents rule's) Will I need to pay insurance with my permit because I'll own a car?""

Auto Insurance for an 18yr old?

I'm 18 almost 19 and I am looking for an auto insurance policy away from my parents because I am about to have my own car in my name. How do I figure the rates for my own auto insurance policy because I am confused when I try to figure it out on the insurance websites.

Insurance premium increase of 50%?

I had an accident with my RV that was about $1,200.00 on my side and very minor on the other vehicle. The accident was considered my fault and being 1 point and my first ever in over 32 years of driving. My insurance company now has increased my premium about 50%. I am in California and would like to understand the criteria for this increase. It looks like the company will recover the full amount paid in the next premiums. Where can one go to understand this? Thanks""

Would insurance cover it?

My husband was involved in a car accident 2 years ago...the people filed a claim/law suit recently over some 'injuries' (which is BS because he works with this guy and he was no injured), just 2 days before statue of limitation expires. Since my husband's work requires so much traveling, it was pointless for him to keep car/insurance if he never drives, we sold his car so he no longer has car insurance. Now that these people 2 years LATER decided to sue...would his old insurance take care of it since the accident happened while he did have car insurance? And he was driving a friends car at the time...not his own care.""

Fun first car from the 90's/cheap insurance?

I'm at the age of buying a first car, and was just wondering what would suit me... Currently, I drive an automatic Kia Sedona(Automatic) along with a Toyota Tacoma (Manual). I'm alright with cars and mechanics in general, and I'd like to modify my first car a bit. (Ex. Turbo, engine swap?, etc). Not a lot but just to a point of understanding cars more. Here are a list of must haves: -Price!! 2-5k please! -0-60 in under 7( preferably stock ) -More than 20 mpg -Cheap insurance ( Old car? Maybe 90's?) -Manual transmission -Aftermarket parts!!! Must have a wide range that are plentiful! And pllllleeeeeaaaseee don't say anything with a 4-cyclinder unless it's truly the best option! I prefer some muscle ;) but not to the point were I'm spending all of my money on gas -.- Other than that, 'nuf said :) Thanks!""

Are SUV's usually high in insurance for teens?

I've been told that I should wait a little longer before i can get a faster car, and I was just wondering whether insurance for an suv would be high, in my case, for an inexperienced driver, (16). Parents are thinking of buying an Fj cruiser and willing to give it to me when i get my liscense.""

""If i get married, but husband doesnt drive, do i have to add him to my motorcycle insurance?""

i got married very recently. my husband does not drive. he doesn't have a drivers license and never has. i got a quote for updating my status to married on my motorcycle insurance and my rate skyrocketed, so i didn't update my policy (my name is didnt change so i dont have to update that either). so my question is, is it ok for me not to update my policy? i just don't feel that if he is never ever anywhere near my vehicle that it should affect my rates. i would love if actual insurance agents could share their insight""

UK car insurance with a US license.?

I'm 18 years old, just returned to the UK from a 7 year stay in the US. while in the US I got my license at the age of 16. and accumilated 2 years no claims bonus. for the first few weeks back in the UK I had insurance through Ecar. but had to terminate that today through a misunderstanding with their terms and conditions W/ No claims bonus. what would be the best insurance provider to go through? I used compare the market before and the cheapest (minus e car.) was 3500 a year. I am employed and own my own car (2002 fiat punto) and I plan on staying in the UK.""

Do I need to be on the insurance to go to and from school in my friends car?

I am 16 years old and I have my drivers permit, is it legal to drive myself and my sister to and from school in my friends car without being on the insurance policy? its my friends dad car and I want to use it for school..""

At what age should you get life insurance?

Healthy 24yr Female no kids. Just wondering when should I invest in a good life insurance.

""(new driver) quoted 3600 /year for insurance, do they really expect me to pay that? lol?""

past my driving test about a month ago now, im insured on a family member's car as a 2nd temp driver which is pretty cheap but its short term insurance, im driving this car just fot more experience, i want to buy a Vauxhall Astra in about 2months and i did a check on the insurance and got a quote, heres the details 3,645.42 Instalments Deposit: 769.08 Monthly: 11 x 318.15 Total: 4,268.73 Do they really expect me to pay that? Im employed full time, i earn about 1000 a month, if i get the astra (on finance) thats about 200 /month for the car, 300 /month insurance, 80 /month parking and not to mention petrol, lets say 60 a month, Its way too much, MY QUESTION, Is there any other insurance options for me?""

Car insurance question?

Originally I registered my car insurance with my previous address. Now I've moved to a new place, do I require to update the address? What happen if I don't update the address and continuously using my previous address as registered?""

What is the cheapest insurance for a teenager? --or ways to make incurance cheaper?

I live in Southern California, and I will be turning 18 next month, 2 days before I need to buy my next insurance policy. I have had my license since the day I turned 16 (I took drivers ed then got my permit for 6 months then my license). I have had no accidents or tickets or have even been pulled over. I am driving a '04 F-150 and making payments on it. I do get the good student discount. What are some cheap insurance companies? Or ways to make your rate cheaper?""

""Car Insurance, which one is best?""

I am a 22 yr old, i am buying a truck tomorrow an 04 ford f150 and I was wondering what insurance place would be best for me. Ive never had car insurance before (I drove my dads old truck and made the payments and insurance payments but it was under my parents name so it would be cheaper) If anyone has any ideas i would greatly appreciate it!""

Can someone answer my health insurance question?

I currently am paying for COBRA. I am 61 years old, female. I am on long term disability & disability social security. I am able to get medicare when I am 62. I have a pre existing condition, COPD. Looks like no one will accept me, except Blue Cross. I need a medical supplement PLUS an exceptional prescription plan. I am on many meds, including oxygen 24/7. I make too much money to qualify for medicaid or any other help. ANY of you insurance agents have any ideas? I will be 62 on April 5th. Any help is much appreciated. I have searched & looked on the internet & most of them I do not trust. I have heard too many bad stories about them. I am paying $490.00 a month plus co pays now & it is killing me.""

""16 year old guys, how much do you pay in auto insurance every month?""

im tired of filling out online quote forms, just so it can tell me to call a customer service rep. i dont even have a car yet, but im planning on getting one, and im just wondering what the average for 16 year old guys is for auto insurance how much do you pay for insurance per month, how old are you, what do you drive? is it like $150, $200, $250, $300""

Insurance for motorcycle?

i live in Montreal Quebec, and would be around 18-25 years old would a Kawasaki ninja 250 (250cc sport bike) be more expensive than a 800cc cruiser? cuz i was originally intresetd in the 250 because of its fun factor and etc... but my uncle is saying that insurance would be a lot because it is a sport bike and i would be still young, so its better to get a cruiser (sportster style bike) because it is heavyer, stabler...and will cost less to insure. but im a little skeptical because a 250cc engine really is not fast (compared to the 600cc sport bike) and a guy on youtube said that his friend pays a little less than half of what he pays for his kawa. 900 custom""

How much are you paying for Car insurance?

$117 a month I am 19 and a guy.

What car insurance is the best?

Ive seen plenty of ads all claiming they are the best, but which one is the best? Please do not speak about an insurance company if you don't have experience with that company.""

What is the cheapest type of car insurance?

What is the cheapest type of car insurance?

Where can i get cheap car insurance? (young drivers)?

Im 17 and need cheap car insurance, any companies anyone would recommend? Thanks! :)""

Best value car/insurance for a new driver (teenager)?

Hey Ive just started taking driving lessons (im 17), and am hopefuly gonna buy my first car soon. I'll probaly just get a second hand one from the paper, but, is there that much difference in the insurance cost with the different cars (like, if i buy a Vauxhall Cora will it be more expensive in insurance than if I get a Ford Focus etc etc). Also, how much will I be looking to pay for for insuance? Im hoping its no higher than 500 a year, as I dont have a ton of money. Thanks""

Proof of Insurance?

I just bought a car yesterday and I know that before I drive it off the lot I need proof of insurance, What exactly to I need to show them in order to take the car home with me .... keep in mind that my printer is out of ink, and I would like to take it home today if possible""

Life insurance at 25 years of age.?

I am twenty five and would like to put my mom in life insurance. Is this possible and what would I have to do to put her in life insurance?

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

I got a ticket for haveing a expired drivers licence how will this effect my insurance rates?

The only ticket given was for the expired drivers licence. does that effect the insurance? im not sure cuz it does not mean i am a bad driver. anything will help! need to know fast. and i am in wyoming if that makes any differance.

How much is a good deal for an old car insurance?

It is my first time getting a car in the US... Actually, I'll be getting it tomorrow, I know it's a Toyota 1989, don't know the specific model yet but I know it's a cheap one... it has papers and registration... I mean, quite cheap and nothing very good looking. I'm 20 years old, single, international student at university... how much do you think will I have to be paying? (approximately)... and should I try getting it online? first time doing this so I'm kinda lost""

How much will cost to remove two wisdom teeth without insurance?

I,m male 21 years old and i'm wishing to remove both bottom wisdom teeth since it cause me feel bubbles on my ears and headaches, i don't know how much will cost me to remove them without insurance, but what is the average price on most states? i live in Oklahoma.""

Is there any way i can get cheaper car insurance?

ok so I have not long passed my test im looking at buying a car im looking at a ford fiesta I have 1000 to spend on a car but now the problem is the insurance which is sky high and the deposit well ... and the insurance is like 2-3 times more than what I would actually be spending on what the car is worth

Insurance Companies?

What kind of jobs are there at insurance companies and what is the salary for those jobs?

What does it cost to get registration and tag for a 1992 thunderbird? also insurance a month?

i am 18 years old and this is my first car...

How much money should I expect to pay for car insurance if I buy a 2013 Dodge Charger?

How much money should I expect to pay for car insurance if I buy a 2013 Dodge Charger? I am 20 years old.

Life insurance policy on live in boyfriend?

my boyfriend and i have lived together for 7 years and have a daughter together. he is alot older and if something happens i get scared of what would happen to me and the kids. ive already talked to him and he agrees that i should get a life insurance policy on him. just in case. is this possible? and can u reccomend anywhere i could get one? thanx

Cheapest Car Insurance here in Florida?

My wife will going to finance a car this month. A ford focus to be specific and its my first time to avail an Auto Insurance but I'm driving for four years in Philippines and I'm now 24 yrs old. Some advice what car insurance company is the cheapest for first time buyer and who doesn't have a credit history? My wife is 29 and we got our license here in Florida last month. I drive for more than 4 years and my wife just learned how to drive last year before we went here in US.

Health insurance for baby? PLEASE HELP.?

Me and my baby's father are not married. I am under my father's insurance. Baby's father has his own insurance that baby will be covered under. (Bluecross Blueshield) Do I need to contact Bluecross Blueshield before baby is born? Or do I have 30 days after birth to contact his insurance company.

Cheapest Car Insurance here in Florida?

My wife will going to finance a car this month. A ford focus to be specific and its my first time to avail an Auto Insurance but I'm driving for four years in Philippines and I'm now 24 yrs old. Some advice what car insurance company is the cheapest for first time buyer and who doesn't have a credit history? My wife is 29 and we got our license here in Florida last month. I drive for more than 4 years and my wife just learned how to drive last year before we went here in US.

Can anyone give examples of how much their auto insurance went up in New Jersey (or another state) after a DWI

I recently received a DWI conviction in S. Jersey (my first offense) and was wondering how much local insurance companies will raise my rate? If anyone has experienced this I'd really appreciate knowing how much their rates rose. Also, is there any certain companies that give better rates to those who have DWI convictions? I appreciate any help. Thanks!""

How can i legally make my parents dependents for medical insurance?

i want to legally file for my parents to be dependents for medical insurance. we live in the state of IL. what is the prerequisite? how should we proceed? we would preferably like to do this without involving a lawyer. thanks in advance for reading this and offering any suggestions!

Is there any affordable health insurance out there(about 140-180 dollars a month)?

Not health savings accounts ...Is there anything by the government for Americans trying to live the American Dream on a modist income.

Ever felt like a criminal for trying to insure your car?

hi there i am a young male driver 20yrs old i am trying to insure my first car which is a suzuki wagon r+ ga and i fell as if i am a pure criminal i have tried many insurers online on the phone and in person i cant find a quote for under 1300 i woundnt mind so much but the car only cost me 200 and they wounder why people drive without insurance well at these prices i am personaly tempted can anyone tell me where i can find a cheaper qoute have tried hundereds prices have ranged from 1295-3645 (well saying this country is constanly ripping us off all the time is about time the goverment was standing in and helping out us motorist a bit they want to reduce the amont of cars without insurance they need to reduce the cost whats your fellings)

How do I get health insurance?

I'm self-employed, so I can't get it through my company. I currently am on my wife's plan, but pay $260 a month. I've been told that's overpaying because I'm 26 and healthy as a horse. I've heard it should be between $90 - 150. How do I get a new health insurance plan?""

Insurance cost for drivers under 21?

For Car and Motorcycle. Don't need exact numbers, just a rough estimate.""

Why would identical auto insurance policies vary in price?

I currently have my auto insurance through Progressive and have been a customer of theirs for almost 10 years. I have a flawless driving record with no violations or tickets and no claims filed. My policy is up for renewal in December and is due for a sharp increase despite maintaining a spotless record and after years of steady decline. I was told that the rate is going up due to the cost of doing business . I decided to shop around and get quotes from competing companies and was absolutely floored by the discrepancy in prices; it almost seems like I am getting ripped off by my current carrier. Auto insurance might as well be greek to me, can anyone explain why one company would be charging $100 less than the competition?""

How does one go about getting insurance?

ok I know there is some different insurance types out there like health car etc etc but i want to know how do you go about getting it! see I'm 15 years old I know i shouldn't worry about this now but it just seems like a good idea to ask the question now this one lil question has plenty of other questions with it how many different insurances do you need to have? what should you look for in Insurance? how much is insurance? what is an insurance rate? and the title of this question how does one go about getting it? on that last one I really need a detailed answer because I am 15 I just got back in school so my brain is a bit mushy and not so quick XD and way like I said I'd really like a detailed answer on that last one heck if ya role play it out with your self for me then that would even make it easier so the more questions you answer in this (with a good answer mind you) the more likely I am to choose you as the best answer!

Motor Insurance from group 5 to group 12?

I'm currently paying 30 per month for my group 5 car insurance but I've been offered a car that's group 12. I can't get a quote until I know all the details of the car, but don't want to look too interested until I know about the insurance. anyone give me an idea please?""

Car insurance renewal?

my car insurance renewal is due on the 22 of this month. but i'm 200 dollars short. can i call them and give them a post dated check for a week later

How much do you pay for your car insurance in NJ?

Hi i want to buy a car and i was wondering how much money i had to spend on the insurance thing. i plan to buy a 1995 honda accord ex sedan, 4 doors and 4 cylinders, maybe this info helps. Also, i would only use the car to go to my job and to the university which is less than 3 miles, in a year, i would be driving like 2000 miles + 1000 miles extra as miscellaneous trips. the thing is that i'm a 18 year old dude and I earn 700 dollars a month, still live with my parents and go to school. I went to a driving school to learn the essentials of driving . Hope all this info helps you give me the best estimate yearly or monthly. thanks""

Around how much would insurance be in georgia for a 16 year old with a 2008 yamaha r1?

Around how much would insurance be in georgia for a 16 year old with a 2008 yamaha r1?

Group health insurance?

how can i convince a company to avail a group health insurance? some people in the company that has a position don't believe in such thing. how can i get their thumbs up? specific reasons please... thanks!

What is electronic insurance?

details about electronic insurance

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Will it save money to take driving lessons at 17 but not get insurance until 21/22?

I'm nearly 18 now, I've left driving a little late... my family asked me if I wanted to learn to drive at 17 and for some reason I didn't want to, but now I've got uni coming up in September (June now for future readers) I'm wondering if it's worth doing it now. I'd heard from someone that if I start learning at 21 or 22, insurance costs more than if I learn now and have a license for a few years before getting insurance and a car at 22 years, for arguments' sake. Has anyone else found or heard something similar to this? Thanks if you can help!""

Passing a drug test for life insurance?

I smoked weed rather heavily for about 5 weeks over the summer, and now i havent touched it all for about 5 weeks, am i going to be clear for it? Before those 5 weeks i smoked VERY rarely (once every month or 2 months). Also i smoked a couple packs of cigarettes in the past couple weeks...how long will it take for me to get the nicotine out of my system (also smoked VERY rarely before last couple weeks)""

My teenage sons car insurance premium?

i did a quote and the cheapest is 6334? how can they charge so much, his friend got a quote on a similar car for 854? any tips?""

Free term life insurance quote?

How do I get a term life insurance quote online?

What's the average cost of car insurance for a 20 year old male?

I'm shopping around for car insurance and I'm trying to get an idea of what's average. I'm a 20 year old male living in Florida with no points on my license.

My car insurance renewal is due next week can anyone suggest cheap?

I'ave got 3 years no claim bounus my old insurare is asking 392

Help on getting cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I know about multicar but i cant do that, i know about named drivers etc but is there any way i can get a decent insurance quote for a 17 year old because ive been getting 15000 quid for quotes recently. Dont tell me you cant do it thats not gonna help me, thanks""

Does anyone know the average price of plpd insurance on a mustang gt for a 16 year old?

I am turning 16 and I really want a mustang gt ive found one but I need to find the price of plpd on a mustang gt so if anyone has any answers or prices please tell me

AAA car insurance wont return my phone calls?

i was in a car accident on the fourth of july and the guy ran a red. he hit my car and totaled it leaving me injured and now out of work for almost a month. the police report was sent to both insurances (mine & his) saying he is at fault. i and my insurance (state farm) have tried calling his AAA agent several times and they still have not called back. i have also called the supervisor with no returned phone call from her as well. ive asked my insurance and they basically told me to wait for them to call. im getting impatient and i was just wondering if anybody else has ever had this problem? im frustrated and not sure what to do.

CLASSIC MINI!!! How much does insurance cost for a 17 year old female?

About to buy a classic mini as my first car and wanted to know how much other peoples insurance has cost. Im female thanks

Question about car insurance?

okay so i was recently in an car accident and my car was a total loss. The accident is not my fault. I received my settlement check for my vehicle after paying my deductible for my insurance company. 2 months later now I received another check from the other insurance company at fault with an attached form stating that the check is for repairing the damages on my vehicle. Is this check safe for me to cash out? Not complaining of getting extra money, but Im just curious why would i get another check when i already got a whole settlement check from my insurance company. Shouldnt the other insurance be paying my insurance company instead? any help would be great.""

Just started boxing.. health insurance?

I am 21 and just started boxing again.. I know the basics and i can take a punch... but i am a little nervous about getting my nose or jaw broken.. even with headgear on... what is ...show more

Health insurance for college student?

I am under my family's Blue Cross insurance in California, but I'm going to attend school in Massachusetts. Will the insurance cover me in Massachusetts?""

Hey how much is Honda CBR 125 insurance?

Hey I am 17 years old, living in Ontario. I want to buy a 2007 Honda CBR 125. I have my M2 and was wondering if anyone with similar information could let me know about how much I would be paying per year on insurance.""

What does each question on a car insurance mean and how does it increase your rate?

For example have you had insurance prior to this and what date it ends. How much you drive the car. Also I am 20 and have had insurance my prior rate was 700 for 6 months. I had two at fault accident before that insurance at 18. But only one was really at fault and I have to get proof and the other drops of my record on the 13th of August. I am trying to figure what a estimate of what my car insurance would be for a liability insurance in TX now

Parents: 300cc motorcycle vs. 600cc motorcycle?

If you had a 17 year old son and he wanted a motorcycle would it make a difference to you if he started out on a low displacement motorcycle instead of a high displacement motorcycle or would you say no/yes either way.

Does anyone have health insuance?

I need help! I need health insurance and unable to get it due to my chron's diease. I live in Califorina and no one will help me because my husband and I make too much money (yeah right) I need some help on what to do please anyone

What is cheap insurance if you have a sr-22 or tickets or suspension.?

What is cheap insurance if you have a sr-22 or tickets or suspension.?

Do auto insurance companies have to look at your driving record?

I have never had a vilolation. My husband has. He had one in 2006 for running a red light and one in 2008 for driving too fast for conditions. Well naturally this has given me higher payments. I was with Liberty Mutual and for liability only (my car isn't worth full coverage) I was paying $124 a month. My husbands pay was cut drastically at work so I was shopping around for cheaper insurance. I called Geico and they offered me liability for $55 a month. She came on and asked if I knew he had two tickets and at the time I didn't because I didn't know my husband in 2006. The lady told me my payments were going to be $144 with them and when I told her no she put me on hold. When she returned she offered me the $55. She read back to me everything I am getting which is a lot more than what I was getting from Liberty Mutual for a lot less price. Is it possible they just dissmissed the report to gain us as customers? I was cooking dinner at the time and my kids started playing loud so all I really heard was cha ching lol.

How much does car insurance go up when a teen gets his/her license?? (geico)?

i have geico insurance and my teen is about to turn 16. i am wondering how much my insurance will go up when she gets her license. she has very good grades, as i know that helps lower it a little""

Which color and style cars are the most expensive in insurance??

I looking at getting myself a chevy cobalt, I want a black, white or red coupe style but I know that they can be a little more in insurance and I just want to know what colors and styles are the most.. By the way I'm a 22 year old female in Chicago, I know that might make a difference in the cost as well.. Any info would be helpful..""

Individual Health Insurance / COBRA?

Why is COBRA considered better than individual health insurance plans? When I did some research,for almost the same kind of coverage but cheaper premiums, I could find individual health insurance plans.But I keep hearing that given an option, going for COBRA is the wiser decision. I don't understand what the catch could be in these individual plans. Any insight?""

Can I drive my sisters car without being on insurance?

My sister lives at home with me and my parents and I just got my license back. I'm not on the insurance, but am I able to drive my sister's car even though she still lives home? My mom said I can't legally.""

Cost of ticket for driving without insurance?

im 16 and i need to get to work tomorow...my stepmom has to work so the only way to get to work is taking my dad's 2007 toyota tundra. if i get pulled over about how much will the ticket cost? i have my liscense just not insurance. i also live in texas

Are annuities good for young people?

Does anyone know if annuiites are good for young people, like in their late 20's. Starting a family and reading about many investment options. It seems like we've only heard about annuities for older or almost retired people, but with new prods that guarantee 7% yearly if your investments don't make that much...seems it's not a bad thing to add to a portfolio.""

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

Birmingham Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35282

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/best-auto-insurance-quotes-ontario-nathan-fleming/"

[cyberdelusionphilosopher-blog]

mercedes insurance claims

"mercedes insurance claims

mercedes insurance claims

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

My car insurance policy was cancelled due to non payment can my vehicle be towed?

i found myself in a tight position and was unable to pay my car insurance and it was cancelled i curently have no insurance ...can my vehicle be towed?

Fun first car from the 90's/cheap insurance?

I'm at the age of buying a first car, and was just wondering what would suit me... Currently, I drive an automatic Kia Sedona(Automatic) along with a Toyota Tacoma (Manual). I'm alright with cars and mechanics in general, and I'd like to modify my first car a bit. (Ex. Turbo, engine swap?, etc). Not a lot but just to a point of understanding cars more. Here are a list of must haves: -Price!! 2-5k please! -0-60 in under 7( preferably stock ) -More than 20 mpg -Cheap insurance ( Old car? Maybe 90's?) -Manual transmission -Aftermarket parts!!! Must have a wide range that are plentiful! And pllllleeeeeaaaseee don't say anything with a 4-cyclinder unless it's truly the best option! I prefer some muscle ;) but not to the point were I'm spending all of my money on gas -.- Other than that, 'nuf said :) Thanks!""

Is there anyway to lower insurance rates after a traffic violation is on file?

Is there anyway to lower insurance rates after a traffic violation is on file?

What's the cheapest Insurance company?

I'm sixteen, will be seventeen in June. I just got a job and I need to get insurance so I can get a car. My parent's insurance will be really expensive plus to put the car on there it will be even extra. Can anyone tell me what the cheapest car insurance place would be for me with full coverage? Thank you (: oh and my car will be a 2000 saturn.""

Auto Insurance help......50/100/15?

i have a 50/100/15 auto coverage.I hit a parked car and damaged the store along the front. the damage to the parked car was 5,400 and damage to the store was 12,650. What amount will the insurance company pay for and what amount will I have to pay for? How can I figure this out?""

Cheapest Car to insure for a 17 yr old new driver?

What is the cheapest small car to insure for a 17 year old who's just passed their test? I believe the model can affect the price too eg - SX, GL?""

Adding new auto insurance to my existing policy?

I live in Oklahoma, my wifes parents just cancelled all the kids auto insurance, I'm going to get my wifes insurance on my policy but I was wondering if we could add her brothers and sister to ours as well? They're young and are having a hard time paying bills the way it is. I thought if I put them on ours then they would get a little discount. They don't live with us. Is that a requirement? Any help would be appreciated, thanks.""

""What type of motorcycles should I get, to have some what cheap insurance and price of bike?""

Im 23 years old live in southern Ontario. Looking into getting my first bike, I currently have my M2 with a safety course. What type of bike should i look at to have the cheapest insurance rates/ price of the bike? Thanks. Appreciate any comments!""

Progressive insurance auto full coverage?

I've had progressive insurance now for an year, I renew every 6 months. However I'm not too happy with the dollar increase every renewal. Is this normal? I have full coverage and pay $84 now (monthly) I've never had a ticket, no accident whatso ever in my life. So I would like input whether or not all/most auto insurance charge you an increase for insurance renewal? Please DO NOT tell me it's cheaper to pay a lum sum to get a discount, I can NOT do this.""

The average price of the Mazda RX8 insurance?

Ive been searching for cars, and Ive picked out the mazda rx8, it will be wrecked and im gonna fix it. Im 16 and I was wondering what the average price of insurance would be with AAA car insurance.""

Cheapest car to buy and run?

Please tell me what's the cheapest car to run (inc car tax, insurance and fuel) and that is fairly cheap to buy.""

Insurance for new drivers?

hi i am about to turn 18 and for my birthday my mom and me are going to lease a car for me. the car is 20000 and its new. the insurance is crazzzy expensive but my mom is going to by a car to right when i am so is just keep that i mind for the insurance and stuff. what is the cheapest way to get insurance?? please help

Insurance on a Subaru STI?

I am considering getting a Subaru STI but I was wondering about what insurance is going to be. I am going to call my insurance company to find out exact but first I wanted to make sure it's not going to be way higher. Here is what I have paid in the past: Age 17-18: 1998 Mustang GT $110 Age 18-20: 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 $105 Age 20: 2006 Subaru STI ?????? Based on what I paid for the other 2 vehicles what do you think its going to be? Thanks!

How much is car insurance?

for 17-25 yr olds ... approx..

What company has the lowest auto insurance rates? I tried looking on wikipedia but I couldn't find it. I'm?

What company has the lowest auto insurance rates? I tried looking on wikipedia but I couldn't find it. I'm?

Pickup Truck insurance at age 18?

I am 18 and I want to get a Nissan Navara. I have got a quote for the non-commercial versions eg le, se and xe for 1990 which is fine, but I cant get an online quote for the D22 version. Its a 2005 D22 Navara di. It says I have to ring them as they cant give me an online quote. Does anyone know if this model can be insured on normal car insurance as I am under 21 and it will be very difficult and expensive to get commercial or van insurance.""

""If my stepdaughter causes a car accident, can the injured come back on my car insurance policy to pay?""

my stepdaughter caused a accident and her insurance had to pay its limits but the injuries to the person was more than her policy would cover, can the injured come back on my car policy under resident relative claus? She lives with me and I have her on my health insurance but not my car insurance, even though she occ. drives my car.""

""If I buy a car and plan to restore, is car insurance usually alot cheaper? Can I still drive it occasionally?""

I am planning on buying a 84 blazer and fixing it up, it runs and stuff, so I can a discount on insurance if I plan on restoring it?""

How much would insurance cost?

how much would insurance cost like humana or something like that for me and my child?

""Americans only, How can we get health care affordable to all.?""

weather, it a one large insurance company big, as a Government or a socialism type system, or even a military type system, we need something instead of this Republican/Dem do nothing talk show. were going into the 21 Century. to have a mess like we got , people cant even afford to die. And all the one talking in Govt. have their family covered, so it no big thing to them. We haft to get a handel on it to even think of controlling DEBT at all. It and oil what cause the national DEBT to get out of control.""

Where can i find cheap but affordable insurance?

where can i find it, basic health in my state is kicking me out?""

I haven't received my national insurance?

I'm 16, going to turn 17 this year. I am from Bolivia (south america) I have live in the UK for 7 years and I don't received any benefits ... I haven't received my national insurance and i don't know why if any one knows why or how i can get? then please tell me thank you""

Can u recommend any car insurance for 6 months rather then 1 year ?

i may need to sell car after 6 months and that's why i do not want to pay insurance for 12 months upfront

Cheapest insurance?

what is the cheapest car insurance in Hamilton Ontario Canada if i was 19 years old and i got the g2 3 moths ago?

The cost of a 125CC motorbike? Tests? Gear? Running costs?

Ok, so here it is. I know a bit about cars and I can drive one - I have a Peugeot 205. I know nothing about bikes! A freind of mine recently bought a 125CC Yamaha bike for 600 and did his CBT, his insurance is 200! So I was thinking about taking a 125CC bike crash course or getting a CBT certificate. Which is better to do? What costs are there involved? I was thinking about getting a twist and go bike (although I have had a go on a manual geared one and found it to be ok).""

mercedes insurance claims

mercedes insurance claims

Can you get temporary car insurance for say a month?

I just got my car but i cant register it till next week. I got a permit to drive it but I do not have insurance, so I heard you can get temporary car insurance for a month. Im not really sure though.. HELP!""

I am a 16 year old male I want to know how much insurance on a 1995 Honda civic would cost me. Thank you?

I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and I would also like to know what the cheapest insurance company is""

Car Insurance for a 20 year old in new york?

Okay so heres the deal. Im currently working full time and attending school part time in new york. To make life easier, i've decided to purchase a car. But the thing that bothers me the most is the car insurance. I know I'm going to have to pay alot even for only liability. The question is would it be cheaper ( insurance wise) to buy a used car or a brand new car? I'm not trying to get a sports car, just something to drive around and make life easier. Either way I'm going to finance it if it makes a difference. I've had my license for a year now with no previous insurance records. By the way, my dad lives in another state. Is there any way he can buy the car for me and have it insured?""

Cancelling car insurance?

if i decided to cancel my car insurance and go elsewhere would i have to pay a cancellation fee? if so how much is this likely to be? im with m&s (underwritten by bisl). also will my previous ncd be void because i wont have completed this current year due to cancelling early?

Does my insurance go up after I get a ticket in someone else car? Or the owner of the car insurance goes up?

I got pulled over for speeding and the officer never asked for the insurance card. Since he didn't ask for the insurance card, does that mean my pay rate will be the same? Or can the insurance company find out by the tag number? Please inform me because this is my first time. Thanks! Also remember I was in someone else car.""

Is it true that 2-door-car more expensive to insure than 4-door-car?

For an example, civic coupe (2 doors) and civic sedan (4 doors). I heard that all 2-door-cars will be considered as a sport car. However, some people say that it is not always that way. I personally won't consider civic coupe as a sport car because I think it isn't. Can someone please clarify this matter to me? Also, which insurance company do you think is the best to insure your car? thank you!""

What is a Cool looking car but cheap on insurance?

I am looking for a sporty looking car but not actually considered a sports car and is cheap on insurance. I like a Dodge Stratus and Dodge Intrepid type looks IS there any Cars that Have the cool look but Is cheaper on insurance I know they exist but could you give me a list PLEASE THANKS FOR THE HELP

How much is car insurance for a new driver?

How much would car insurance cost in BC in a rural area for a 17 year (new driver). Thanks

Michigan Motorcycle Insurance?

I live in Michigan I only ride my motorcycle during the spring and summer, which comes out to be about 6 months of the year. the rest of the time the bike is stored, with no riders. My question is can I get some sort of insurance where I'm covered for six months and the rest of the time it in storage it's on a storage like insurance? I know you can in New Jersey because my friends have in however can you in Michigan? if so could you post a link or where you got this infor from so i can contact them further thank you""

""Car insurance, it makes me think why bother.?""

Last year a neighbour crashed his car into my drive, damaging the railings, lucky my car was not there at the time and no one was hurt. He was charged as he had no insurance. I got a letter from the Police last week stating that he got 6 points and was fined 500.0. My car insurance is now up for renewal and I was quoted 600.0, obiviously I'm gonna have to get insured, but it does make me think why bother, what do you think???""

""Does anyone realize that by making health insurance mandatory, your insurance premiums will skyrocket?""

just like car insurance premiums have? And when premiums skyrocket, everyone will be moving to the cheaper government run policy. If the government really cared and wanted to bring costs down, they would get out of bed with the specdial interest groups such as malpractice lawyers and PHARMA and reform these things.""

Bankruptcy and Homeowners Insurance Lapse....?

Going through bankruptcy. My question stems from a fire we had at the house. We did not mention it to our insurance company just yet and it has been 5 months already. we were told we should report it right away, but I wasnt' sure if we had insurance. Couldn't afford the insurance. So, 2 years back, my loan company sent me paperwork to sign up for their insurance which is mandatory if one does not supply proof of insurance to them. After this time, would I still, likely, have insurance through my insurance company? and what repercussions would I face for taking so long to report it? Thx, Adreamer2""

How much would Insurance be to lease a 2006 Dodge Charger R/T. I want to lease a car under my cousins name. ?

My cousin has great credit and she is 23. Would the insurance price differ alot between a 2006 & 2008 model? An estimate would be fine.

What company provides the CHEAPEST auto insurance?

I want the very cheapest auto insurance out there. The bare minimum so that if I were to be pulled over, I would be legal. The coverage is not important. Thanks!!""

Health insurance for someone with a preexisting condition?

I have heard about plans that are available through association memberships with limited benefits. Is this a legitimate method of obtaining coverage for someone who is otherwise ineligible for insurance? Any other suggestions? The high-risk pool insurance in California is not affordable.

Would insurance on a corvette be too expensive for someone 19 years old?

I am 17 now, but in a couple years I will have enough money to buy an older corvette. I am looking at either a C5 corvette (97-04) or a C3 corvette (68-82). I am leaning more toward the C5 but since it's a newer car, I would think the insurance would be more expensive, even though the car might only cost 12 grand. The C3 would be cheaper in price, and i heard insurance is really cheap for classic cars too. So, in your opinion what do you think?""

Cheap Life insurance?

Whats a good life insurance company

Whats the insurance rate for a dui person in california?

25 years old,07 dodge charger.. i live in pomona ca. 1st dui what am i looking at for monthly insurance payments?""

Car Insurance?

I want to cancel my insurance or rather freeze it until the 3 November. Would i get into trouble though if i took it to the garage when i had cancelled my insurance or eve froze it..

Car Insurance discrimination?

I was filling out a car insurance quote form online , I put my mother as the main driver and me as additional but accidentally put me as a spouse , the quote came back as 400 pounds. As i reviewed the quote i notice my mistake and changed it to Other ( Spouse , Partner , Other only listed ) and then my quote came back as 2000 pounds. I am 18 years old and getting car insurance is hard but my question is how does being married make me a safer driver and is it possible to take insurance companies to court because of there overlooked age discrimination""

How can i get cheap car insurance insurance?

I live in london Age 17, just got my driving licence Ive got a 1.4 L diesel Fiesta 53 Plate Where can i get decent insurance, the cheapest i got was 5k, im only willing to pay 3k Idk if i have to lie to them, i just want insurance Any help??""

50cc Scooter Insurance Help?

I'm 16 in 9 days, and I'm going to celebrate with a Peugeot V Clic Silver Sport. However, I'm going to need insurance. I live in a quiet area, and my scooter will be kept in a locked, secure garage with four other scooters. I'm also very responsible and won't be thrashing it and doing wheelies. Does anyone think this will reduce the cost of insurance?""

Can you have car insurance in a different name than the title?

I have never had car insurance in my name before and I am 20 so I am getting quoted from every company for at least 300 a month. The car i'm planning on buying is a 2007-2010 mazdaspeed3. Would I be able to have the car insurance in my fathers name while the title of the car is under my name?

Does my parents insurance still cover me?

I'm 19(turning 20 on Dec 1) & I live in California(southern CA) Not in school right now, still looking into trade schools will attend school in spring '11. My parents have health insurance but since I was 18 it stopped covering for me. Insurance covers almost all costs though sometimes we have to pay a small percentage. Now this new bill has passed & I was wondering if it will cover me? Or should I apply for Medicaid? Currently looking for my 3rd job. Previous jobs did not give me health insurance. Thanks""

Change car on insurance?

I had a crash what I am to blame. I've had to go scrap my car, need to put a new car on my insurance I know there will be a fee to change it over but will they now charge even extra now I've had a crash?""

mercedes insurance claims

mercedes insurance claims

Nissan 370z Affordable For A New a Driver?

Is a Nissan 370z or even 350z good and affordable for a new driver? Im only 2 years away from getting my G2 and even though it's really early I would like to start thinking about a good affordable car, yeah yeah why am I getting a 350z/370z when Im looking for cheap and affordable? It's because I would like to try and take it to track days at some local tracks and race when I get my G license. Please don't tell me to stop worry about it you're too young blah blah blah stupidity, in some cases it may be true I just don't care, sorry for my rudeness I get the talk way to much and it's really starting to get annoying. If you have a better choice than the 350z or 370z, I'm looking for any RWD car that is easy to pitch into a drift and race it, also available at a dealer or online at a trusted auto sales site, thanks in advance!""

Cheapest Car Insurance in California?

I just moved to Los Angeles and I'm wondering what is the cheapest car insurance company in general? Thanks in advance!

Car Insurance for a 19 yr old male?

I'm going to be buying an black 03 Cadillac CTS and I was wondering about how much my insurance would be. I've been driving since I was 16 with no tickets or wrecks. Can anyone give me at least an estimate on what it might cost? I will be using it mostly to drive back and fourth to work.

Impounded Car Insurance Payment Method.?

Hi Everybody, Just asking everyone if any one ever paid for the insurance for an impounded car by police? What happened is my car got stopped over by police and towed away by their recovery van. Now i am getting an insurance to get it back ( Long story short , the car i was driving was without insurance as i had not received letter of my insurance cancellation and i was under the impression that i had insurance ) I have searched and able to get a quote from two well know car insurance companies ( One of them is impoundedcarinsurance.com and other is seizedcarinsurance.co.uk ) and both companies are asking for DIRECT TRANSFER OF MONEY IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT as they dont accept Credit Cards and Debit cards for the payment. Has any one paid by this method ever ? Is it secure ? Am i being suspicious wrongly or there is some thing fishy in it ? Many thanks in Advance !""

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

Cheapest insurance for vauxhall corsa?

i brought one of those old cheap vauxhall corsa 1.2 L. for first car. anyone know where i can find cheap insurance? i tried all the comparisons sites, but there giving me stupid prices over 2500. the car is a old banger and its not gona cost no more then 300 to fix. am 24 years old.""

How much is Audi A4 1.8t insurance?

I know there are a lot of things to take into consideration when getting insurance quotes and all but I was on craigslist and I found a nice little 2005 Audi A4 1.8t and I wanted to get an idea of insurance. I know that it is considered a luxury sedan and its foreign from Germany so those are going to make it more expensive. It puts out around 170hp and 160 trq. The car has great crash test ratings too. Seller is asking a little under $6000 and I don't know how many miles are on it yet. Other things to consider are that im only 19 so it would go under my fathers name. I know its hard to estimate what insurance would be but if anyone can come up with a good idea or if they own one themselves. Im not completely sold on the car but I just wanted a little help from the yahoo community. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I know Im not giving you a lot of info to work with.

Auto Body shop quote and Insurance quote?

My insurance adjuster came out and cut me a check for 1,200. The check issued is a fair price.The shop i trust gave me a quote of 1,300 which means I will only have to pay 100 out of pocket. My deductible is 500. Do i still have to pay 500 even though the check will cover most of the expenses?""

Cost for car insurance for a teenager?

I'm 17 right now and don't really need a car (I do have a license though). When I'm 18 I will NEED the car to commute to and from college. How much is it going to cost to get insured - possibly to be added to a parent's plan? I've taken driver's ed, have a high gpa... what else can I do to lower the cost? PS. I'll probably be driving a 1995 Geo Metro.""

I am in need of health insurance. Is there any kind out there affordable to a spouse of a D.A.V.?

My husband is rated 100% disabled with the U.S. government.

Bike insurance to car insurance?

can you transfer you no claims discount from your bike insurance to a new car insurance acount??

Does anybody know any type of affordable car insurance (South.CA) for a teen who just got his driver license?

Do you know any car insurance that is not too bad (that covers stuff) yet not too expensive (lets say somewhere less than $500 a month)? And could you also please site a reference site? Thank you.

How to choose a Life Insurance?

All the insurance companies sound like they're trying to sell us on the product. We're married in our thirties with two babies. Thanks!

What state or states do not require car Auto insurance in order to own a car and use it ?

I would like to know what states in USA do not require car Auto insurance for the owner or user of the car he or she is driving? If there is such a state please prove me where you get the source! And How does the driver pay off all the victims billing cost after injuring this victim and victim has a bunch of bills coming in from Hospital service? If now you agree with me that all drives should be required to pay and have auto insurance, This is the same reason is why all people need to have healthcare insurance who can afford it! Not only it will keep the insurance cost lower for average person, everyone is now guaranteed to qualify without being denied due to history, disability, or medical cost person needs, but if everyone has health insurance nation wide medical expense will be less rising; like people who did not have insurance get into accident/injury Whether falling off a cliff, get hit by a car and driver drives off, or gets injured due to snake bite. NONE of them are intentional or expected but they happen and many other! If everyone is insured the insurance pays for the medical expenses whether its $500 or $500K But if not everybody has healthcare insurance average person wont be able to afford the $full medical bill will be hunted by collection agency but still not likely to pay any more then $5000 for medical expenses! There for the rest of the medical cost falls on WHOM??? THE TAX TAPYERS OR OTHER medical service Customers!!! By raising the prices of medical expenses! THAT is why Californias Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance Raised about 57% cost in 2010 or 2011!! What do you expect if Thousand or millions of Illegal most Latino immigrant get Medical service in Hospitals like even Child birth, or emergency room, but they dont have medical insurance, cant afford it, YOU SEE that raised their insurance cost BY 57%!!! DO YOU WANT THIS TO HAPPEN NATION WIDE?? IF NO If you want Medical cost to remain affordable, THEN A) Support National Healthcare that everybody should have it who can afford it B) In order to receive Fed/State TAX, Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid from the Illegal Immigration should be attempted to be caught and exported to their main country, or should be attempted to be caught and if given full citizen ship to them only if these immigrants must server some number of years of Army, military, or Air force service voluntarily. OR be required to pay a minimum amount of $ that individual invested into the Social Security system, or minimum number of years legally work in U.S.A, if they want to receive the Social Security benefits if future. HOWEVER How many years serving , How much individual or couple invested minimum, and /or how many minimum number of years in order to qualify for Social Security service is up to the government to calculate and decide. THIS WAY Citizens Will all be able to fully pay their medical expenses, and The illegal immigration will not be as big of an issue!""

How much dose it cost to rent a car in NYC for a week ( including insurance?)?

How much dose it cost to rent a car in NYC for a week ( including insurance?)?

Health insurance after divorce?

I have health insurance for another month, then my divorce will be final and I lose the insurance through my husband's company (with Blue Cross Blue Shield). With a pre-existing condition, it appears that I will not be able to afford health-care after losing his. Please do not suggest welfare, I can scrape by on my own if I can find affordable health insurance. Does anybody have an idea of what options I may have?""

Car insurance policies !?

a friend of mine said she had light house insurance.. she claims she pays X amount of money for a basic car insurance policy every 6 months.. keep in mind, i live on long island.. what kind of car insurance company offers a 1 payment policy every 6 months ?? my current insurance policy is expensive, i feel like theyre stealing from me.. please help out, i know there are A LOT of insurance companys..""

Im unemployed do i need to apply for obamacare/Affordable care act?

im unemployed do i need to apply for obamacare/Affordable care act? i tried creating an account online and it says to input your income. i cant leave it blank any information would help

How much will my car insurance drop when i turn 25?

How much will my car insurance drop when i turn 25?

I need a home insurance company that will insure me with a criminal conviction for theft in 2008?

apparently if i received a fine makes a difference which i did....i have tried call connections and direct choice....please help P.S what do i do if no-one will insure me....i thought it was against the law not to have home insurance

Impounded Car Insurance Payment Method.?

Hi Everybody, Just asking everyone if any one ever paid for the insurance for an impounded car by police? What happened is my car got stopped over by police and towed away by their recovery van. Now i am getting an insurance to get it back ( Long story short , the car i was driving was without insurance as i had not received letter of my insurance cancellation and i was under the impression that i had insurance ) I have searched and able to get a quote from two well know car insurance companies ( One of them is impoundedcarinsurance.com and other is seizedcarinsurance.co.uk ) and both companies are asking for DIRECT TRANSFER OF MONEY IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT as they dont accept Credit Cards and Debit cards for the payment. Has any one paid by this method ever ? Is it secure ? Am i being suspicious wrongly or there is some thing fishy in it ? Many thanks in Advance !""

Cheapest car insurance in uk?

Cheapest car insurance in uk?

Auto insurance is through the roof?

i have a 1991 jeep wrangler sahara and i pay 230 buck a month on parents insurance what is the cheapest company to go with and y is my bill so high

How much would insurance be for a first time driver thats 19?

im gonna buy a brand new 2012 volkswagen gli thats 25k and its my first car and was wondering what would the insurace cost monthly for me

Insurance - Cheap Car?

hello, my sister has just passed her driving test & she's wanting a cheap little run around. a ford ka 1997. She's seen one for exactly 300, and they're allowing her to go view it tomorrow. the reg is - 13 jan 1997 it's a petrol engine size - 1,299 cc does anyone know how much insurance will cost on it? & how much tax/mot costs on it? thankyou..""

mercedes insurance claims

mercedes insurance claims

Cheapest car insurers. for a 1997 citroen ax?

third party fire and theft. who is the cheapest insurer for this.thanks

""How can forcing us to buy health insurance, be the same as mandatory car insurance?""

I don't own a car, so I don't pay car insurance. Nobody is forcing me to buy it. But under the Obama individual mandate, we will all have to buy insurance or get fined. This is based on the assumption that you will get sick and not be able to afford your own care, and so will choose to be a burden. Those are a lot of assumptions. Can we force somebody to buy something that they don't want, based on assumptions that may or may not be true??""

What homeowners insurance do you use/recommend?

I am looking for homeowners insurance for a home in California. We have 2 dogs, one which is a German Shepherd. What insurance carrier works well with dog owners?""

What is the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old male? 10 points?

I'm getting ridiculous quotes for a Citreon C1 Group E insurance for 7000+ under 1 liter engine size !!! By using compare the market and other comparison sites! Where can I find affordable insurance quotes? My brother was insured on a 06 1.2 Polo for 2,300 and only been driving for 6 months. surely a C1 will be cheaper!! Need help""

How can immigrants over 65 afford health insurance in the United States?

Federal employee looking to rotate back to the States and take my in-laws who are 73 and 75. Cannot get Medicare until they have been in the U.S. for five years Any suggestions?

Will getting a ticket affect my dad's insurance?

So I was driving my dad's car and I made an illegal uturn at an intersection and got a ticket for it. The car is owned by my dad and it's under his insurance. Will this affect him in any way? If I don't pay the ticket, will it affect my credit or his or does it even affect the credit? I live in Vancouver, BC.""

I got a speeding ticket and no insurance?

well my insurance was expired when i got the ticket. so when i renew it will it still go up?

Car insurance rates question plz help 10 pts?

I pay $187 a mth for car insurance & that's full coverage with $500 deduct. The reason I was told I'm paying that much was bc of a big wreck I had back in Aug 2010 and since it's coming up on 3 yrs and my premium expires in Aug I'm expecting my rates to go down a little. My insurance company jus told me that that's not why I'm paying that much it's bc of 2 speeding tickets I got back in 2010 Feb & April bt when my premium expires in Aug my rates will go down. My question is can you guys give me a estimate on how much you think I'll be paying in Aug when my rates go down??! I live in S.C. Btw Thanks so much in advance

Why is car insurance expensive for young male drivers than female drivers?

Why is car insurance expensive for young male drivers than female drivers?

How much will my car insurance go up after my first ticket?

I'm 19 and live in VA and got my first speeding ticket tonight (77 in a 60). I've never been in an accident or anything before, but I was just wondering if anyone had any idea about how much my insurance rate will go up? and will going to court/driving school affect what happens with the insurance rate, because otherwise i was just going to pay it online.. thaaaanks!""

Paying for car insurance I don' need while being oversees?

I plan an extended overseas travel this summer (lasting about 3-4 months). During this time, I will not be using my car in the U.S. I simply will lock it in a garage. I'd like to know how I can avoid paying for my car insurance (or lower my insurance bill) during this time. I understand that I can simply return my plates and drop the insurance before leaving but then upon my arrival back to the U.S. I will be with no insurance at all, and will need to get a new one (this will not happen instantly). Is there an option or insurance company that serves people who are away from the U.S. but who want to get covered when they return right away?""

""How much can the owner of a commercial Insurance Agency expect to make? (in Year 1, Year 5, Year 10?)?""

Hi all, I live in Florida and am currently in my second year of law school. I am looking to get into the insurance business after I graduate to build some form of residual income. ...show more""

If im a second driver on my dads car when i get older will my insurance get cheaper?

Hi if im a second driver on my dads car when i get older will my insurance get cheaper or not because im the second driver my dad has a vauxhall astra 1.6 its 11 years old and how much do you think the insurance will be im 17 year old boy

""How are younger drivers supposed to afford car insurance these days, especially if you're a student...?""

Car insurance is so expensive it's ridiculous, not to mention the price of driving lessons/test and what not. The problem is, I need to be able to drive because of where I live, if I didn't live in a rural area I wouldn't bother about driving so much, but looking at prices to drive these days, it's ridiculous. How do they come up with prices such as 1,000 - 5,000 is beyond me!""

Where do I but non car owner insurance?

I need to get my licence and here in NC they require you to have insurance to get your licence wher do I go to buy non car owners insurance at the best price?

Will my insurance go up after receiving3 points on my license?

I got careless driving and the cop told me it would be 3 points on my license. I took traffic school to remove previous points 6 months ago so I cannot do that. Will these 3 points raise my insurance rate? Also, I was pulled over by an unmarked detective, and he called in a motor cop to write the ticket. Would it be worth taking to court, and if I take it to court, what are the benefits vs. the losses I can face?""

""Where can I buy cheap auto insurance in Houston, Texas?Just moved here, only paid $30/month in California!?""

Want to buy cheap auto insurance in person! In California I paid $30 a month at a place that catered to poor people basically, but had good coverage for cheap. I am not interested in paying double online with Geico, progressive, etc (as the quotes I've gotten are). Where can I get cheap basic coverage in person in Houston Texas? Thank you.""

What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?

What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?

Roughly how much would it cost to insure a 17 year old male on a renault clio 1.2?

Its silver and just a standard model (not sport or anything extra etc..) And is from 2002 (51 reg) any help appriecated thanks :)

Do you legally have to declare having a medical cannabis card to your insurance company?

Does this prescription count just like every other medication? Do you legally have to declare having a medical cannabis card (or say that you use cannabis) to your insurance company? I live in California. My insurance is Blue Cross.

""Do you shop around for insurance i hope you do,, yes ,or do you stick with one company?

reason for question a certain very good online company that gets you lots of quotes showed( for the same details given) a difference of 1200 in the quotes. that was from approx 300 to approx 1500. how can this be justified. i know that the excess amounts are different It was a quote for my father and his car not me.

Cheapest Auto Insurance In NJ?

What's the cheapest auto insurance company in NJ for someone who is a first time driver and doesn't have anyone elses insurance to go off of? I keep getting different quotes, rangeing between 200-400$ a month, which is a little bit insane. Are these quotes just accounting for things that I don't really need?""

2008 Harley Low Rider insurance?

Hey I am 17. I just got a Harley Low Rider (1584cc) and gave been riding it with out insurance for the past month and I was wondering how much would the insurance cost for it.

Im 6 weeks pregnant with no health insurance in california?

Im 6 weeks pregnant, i got my proof of preganancy at a free clinic, i applied for medical.. how long till i know im approved? I work part time, i dont make enough money at all... maybe 400 before taxes. i pay 400 rent, i split rent with my bf that i live with. he has a good job. would that effect my media-cal application? are they going to want my roomates info? and with him being my bf does that make a difference? we are not married so will they still use that?""

Car insurance question?

I got an insurance question. I let my fiance, who is not insured by my insurance company drive my car. I was in the car with him. He was intoxicated and hit 9 parked cars causing minor damage to all of them. Will my insurance company have to pay for the damage?""

mercedes insurance claims

mercedes insurance claims

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/fast-health-insurance-quote-ashley-bray/"

[mindfulrunner]

#53: ottawa marathon: content, but still hungry

It has been over a week since the Ottawa marathon. Time for a formal recap, before the experience melts out of my brain and into the ether, only to haunt me the next time I get serious about fall training - what did I learn?

Goals:

For my second marathon, my main goals were straightforward:

1. Arrive to the starting line healthy (a challenge given my 5 week long cold and ongoing shin whining)

2. Run under sub 3:10 (which my time of just under 2:11 at Around the Bay 30k indicated was in the realm of possibility)

3. Not be a wuss (the language I used was more colourful but kinda sexist - as Betty White puts it, pussies can take a pounding!)

Coach’s instructions were great: “You are prepared. So don’t dwell on pace. You know what you want and what you need to do. As in your recent pattern, stay patient and go for it when you get into the groove.” So let’s add:

4. Stay patient.

My deep secret goals were trickier: run 3:05 – 3:07 (4:24-4:27 pace) on a warmish day by:

5. Staying cool

6. Staying hungry

To me, staying cool meant being tactical on the course with the water stations, taking advantage of my husband’s presence along the course to hand me cooling items, and, most importantly, to pace myself optimally to squeak my time down to these lower numbers. Staying hungry meant believing in myself and silencing the doubters before the race who indicated I should stick to a 3:10 pace. I had something to prove.

The Plan

I wrote up the following strategy and hoped to execute it:

1-10km: 4:28-4:31 pace. Ease in and seize natural gaps that emerge with the aim to come it at the 10k mark between 44-45 minutes

6-20k: Dial back pace if possible and creep toward goal. Work with the crowd around you. Eat, drink and relax.

20-35k: Find a group at pace or slightly faster and latch on. Expect for the pace to require increasing effort the further you run. Begin to focus and channel positive thoughts like “I can do this”, “I am made to go the distance”, “I can handle this no problem”. Goal pace at the half marker: 1:32-1:33. Goal pace at 30k: 2:12-2:13.

35-42k: Expect it will be hard. Relax. You can endure. You can flow. Don’t be a wuss. Don’t count yourself out.

Prepare

Saturday went off without much of a hitch. Friday night I tried to be “fun” by staying out until 1am (we arrived in Ottawa at 11pm) and enjoyed a drink with Jeff in the Byward Market. So, in order to bank the sleep I would not get Saturday night, I slept in until about 12 and then immediately began carb loading before heading over to the Expo.

My goal at the Expo was to limit stress but also secure a 3:10 or 3:05 pace wristband. Unfortunately, none were left, but I made a mental plan to create one on my own using some clear tape, pen, and paper. My failure to do so is now a “lesson learned”.

The day got away from me (also known as: I managed time poorly). My parents were coming into town to meet for dinner and I needed to get a shakeout run in, since I skipped my Friday night run. After dinner (gluten free pasta and probably too much butter), everything was closed. What’s more, because our room got downgraded, I no longer had a kitchen and had to make my oats at my parents’ hotel. Also: the front desk at the hotel had just run out of packing tape. So, no time/supplies to DIY a bracelet.

So I spent the evening slightly fretting over my lack of a pace bracelet and one lost compression sock slightly before settling into bed around 10:30. Jeff went to a sports bar to watch playoffs hockey. I was probably being very annoying to be around: lots of whining and fearful noises (”Use your words, dear”) to try and express I didn’t want a normal piece of paper for the pace chart, since I anticipated dumping water all over myself: temps were to begin at 14 and rise to about 20 by the time I finished the event (10:15am), which, to a runner, feels more like 24 rising to 30. And I didn’t want to run with a single or mismatched compression sock for what I thought were very obvious reasons. Why I couldn’t wear my back-up socks remains unknown.

Anyway, I had wanted to be lying in bed by 9pm, but didn’t make it there until 10:30pm. I read a little of Running with the Mind of Meditation. I went to bed relatively calm and slept decent.

Showtime

I got up at 4:45 and ate my oats and banana and went back to bed until 5:30… thrilling, right?!

At 5:45 (slept in!) I made coffee, sipped Gatorad while I got dressed, applied sunscreen, and basically hung around going to the bathroom (pre-race nerves announce themselves so gracefully). I was just about an 8 minute jog from the start line so I wanted to hang here until about 40 minutes before the race, which was set to start at 7am.

I eventually jogged over and stood in line at another porta potty. This is TMI, I know, but I never really totally relieved myself, which worried me briefly about the need to  make a mid-race stop, although I thankfully did not need to in the race.

I warmed up a tiny bit and saw a few of the Pace & Mind runners and a Black Lungs runner from Toronto. But I said nothing, as is my “it’s before 10am” way of living. I probably only warmed up 2k, with a couple strides.

I took my place between the 3:05 and 3:10 pace bunny. I tried to relax… and I think I straight up was relaxed! I looked around: there were a lot of fit looking men and just a few women in this group! I felt proud to be among them. I overheard the 3:10 pace bunny chatting with some numbers. He mentioned his PB was 2:56 “some years ago”, and I thought that was cutting it close. Typically bunnies choose a very comfortable effort. I realized a lot of 30-40 year old guys were surrounding him because sub 3:10 was a BQ for that category.

The race started. I stayed with the 3:10 pace bunny for a bit before my watch started saying crazy numbers like 4:10 pace. I eased off and tried to keep the group a reasonable distance away. I tried to relax and enjoy the early crowds. But I kept wondering what the heck was going on with this bunny….

At the same time, at 2k I realize my Garmin is having an “off” day. Usually it says I’m going way faster than slower. Keep in mind I was making an effort to NOT weave much for the first 10k and instead wait for gaps to open. But I cross the official 2k flag in exactly 9 minutes, which is fine, but my watch was telling me I’m averaging 4:15-20 kms and that I have run significantly further than 2k.

Key Decision

I decide to ignore my average pace on the watch and instead use the manual lap function and do mental math/counting….

2 Hrs Later

…which is basically what I did for the next 2 hrs, I think, because I remember very little else except the following:

Realizing the 3:10 bunny was way fast at the 5k and 10k timing mats and chatting about it with a couple of fellow runners, including Matt, the fellow who built Monarch Park stadium and gave a shoutout to Longboat

Consciously avoiding running with the group of 20 or so guys around the bunny due to the extra heat the group was giving off

Drinking Gatorade at EVERY station and dumping the water on my head to cool off as a “pre-cooling strategy”. I was anticipating it getting really hot toward the end of the race which can be treacherous

Eventually heeding the advice of one of the runners to try and stick with the 3:10 bunny anyway based on my “real” goals of 3:05-3:07, instead o sticking with my plan for a big negative split

Catching up to the too-fast bunny, but then falling off due to a slight groin tweak. My pace between 21-and 25k significantly slowed due to babying/trying to figure out if this tweak was gonna get worse. I think those kms made the difference between actually injuring myself on the worst-case-scenario side, and squeaking under 3:07 on the best-case-scenario side

Feeling like the little bumps and rises were a bigger deal and more annoying than I anticipated

Manually resetting my watch at every lap marker and counting off the additional seconds in my head when my Garmin inevitably told me I was running further than I did. So, I would begin to approach the 26k marker for example, about 30 metres out my watch would say something dumb like 4:10 pace, and I would eventually realize I was somewhere in the 4:20s.

Rodent Brain

Because of these timing issues, I felt very scattered during the race, trying to remember my approach on the fly, trying to tap back into my relaxed and focus zen state, trying to get competitive, but just spending too much time worrying about TIME.

I was BUMMED I did not have the pace bracelet I was trying to find at the Expo. It would’ve been super handy. I was also bummed about the pace bunny being so crappy. The 3:05 pace bunny dropped out as we were going over the bridge back from Gatineau (I think 24k?). However, thankfully, I think due to my overall relaxed state that weekend and practice racing without paying much attention to my watch this season, I did not panic or start to think negatively which I am very proud of. Regardless, I was definitely not in a flow state or as competitive with the group around me due to my timing uncertainty. I think if I were feeling more bold (e.g., not concerned about my groin, not worried it could get really hot at the end), I would have still been very confident and more competitive with the groups around me.

The Pain Train Commeth

At about 28k the quads got heavy… a little later than my first marathon, Hamilton, where they hurt at 25k. I am mystified by this, looking back, because it did not happen at all that I remember at around the bay, which was 30k, hillier, colder, and a faster pace.

30ish k: I ran through this marker under 2:14, and confident I would achieve my sub 3:10 goal. At this point, I did start to get more competitive. I kept passing the same triathletes, who would later pass me. One woman in my age group ran near me for most of the race, but I think I passed her somewhere before 30k. Two women running together, one with a hydration pack, passed me at one point. The stronger looking of the two broke away somewhere around 33k, and I didn’t see her again. I passed the girl with the hydration pack happily at one point, she surged later, and I made it a hazy goal to catch her somewhere around 35-37, which I did. But she surged around 39 (which is amazing… ultra runner?), spoke some words of encouragement, and I didn’t see her again.

At 37k, we came back to the crowded area. At one point, a cheer group said, and now lets all cheer for Emily and about 15-20 people said GO EMILY, GO EMILY, and that was amazing. Put a huge grin on my face.

From 36 or so onward, my form collapsed HORRIBLY in these stages as the race photos attest. I don’t know if I was thinking about it at all. I was just trying to catch people as I was mostly running alone and run even paces and try and dig into my leg strengths, as I started to breathe heavy.

At 39k I saw a man down…. Totally passed out unconscious. Eyes open. Terrifying. A crowd around him was calling for medics. This is the sad truth about competing and the wall: to finish, I had to put it out of my mind and trust others watching and volunteering to help him. As soon as I crossed the line, I mentioned it to a medic.

Those last 3k were very tough, but in a familiar way this time. I don’t remember too much, except being very annoyed that by the 39k marker I still had a tight turn to execute and no clear line of sight to the finish. The legs got heavy and I chipped away. I continued to pass many people (mostly those who had significantly fallen of pace, some of whom I suspect were overheating or hitting the wall), but was also passed by some.

Amazingly in these last few k I was CONTINUING to do simple math. I kept trying to figure out what time I would finish in if I were to run 5 min kms.

Sweet Relief

An amazing highlight was actually seeing my dad and smiling at him with about 200 metres to go. My mom captured some great photos of this. It was me against the clock… I squeezed just under 3:08 gun time, 3:07:36 chip time.

Afterwards… I felt relieved it was over… I felt proud of the race… I didn’t feel completely incapacitated as in my first marathon. I congratulated those around me, and received congratulations in turn.

Reflections

I explained to Jeff and my parents that the 3:10 pace bunny was well off and that I did indeed reach my goal. And I also wasn’t as immediately sore and stiff (in fact I spent a considerable amount of time walking later that day). I was healthy.

Sadly, I also did not feel a ton of joy or elation. I was very “zen”, I suppose, or displaying equanimity, which has been my goal this season. But I was also confused. I had no distinct impressions from the race, positive or negative immediately afterward, and I was not sure why until I started to write and reflect on the race a couple of days later. My tune up race had been much more enjoyable, with decisive moments where I became competitive or overcame and “got into a groove” and proceeded to “kill it.”

Perhaps I never got there due to the wildly uneven pacing in the first half of the race. Perhaps what I mentioned to some family and friends was true… my head wasn’t into it in the way I needed it to be, so it took a lot more out of me mentally just to get  the basics done (fuel, figure out pace, position, tune into body, etc.). Either way, I can sum my feelings about the race as this: content, but still hungry. Execution left much to be desired.