#which is fucked up cuz he was hot as hell in this era

[arcgayne]

my reasoning:

(these rankings are based on multiple criteria, such as relatability, hotness, relevance, how interesting they are as a character, and so on and so forth).

1) Jinx: she’s literally me. so silly and mentally unstable. needs therapy so bad and it shows. i fucking love her. please get help queen

2) Ekko: literally has never done anything wrong ever. moral compass strong as fuck. bonus points for looking cool. he’s also literally me but jinx wins over him bc she’s more unhinged.

3) Viktor: my fucking beloved. Do I want to be him? Do I want to be with him? Realistically I want neither of these things but unrealistically I need this man in ways even the hexcore couldn’t comprehend.

4) Mel: God I fucking love a powerful smart beautiful woman. AND she has mommy issues? she’s literally perfect. i’m rotating her in my head as we speak

5) Vi: hot tragic lesbian. almost lost points for becoming a cop but then she quit so it’s all good. for now. I have knowledge about what she ends up doing bc of the video game and I am currently choosing to ignore it in favor of the show timeline. Let me dream.

6) Sevika: hot. muscles. vodka aunt. hot. emotionally unavailable. hot. did i mention hot

7) grayson: i think it’s hilarious that she ranks higher than everyone else below her on this list. she literally only gets points for being attractive. especially her voice like ugghhh. what else can i say.

8) sky: perfect angel. so fucking smart and cool. deserves better. i need to know more about her or i will actually explode. hearing her voice made me so happy y’all have no idea

9) powder: baby. deserves the world. only ranks lower bc she doesn’t exactly “exist” anymore or whatever. justice for powder AND jinx 2025

10) caitlyn: hot. but ew cop moment. the fact that her sympathy for zaunites was crushed so easily really annoys me. like girl do you even have principles. ur revenge era would be cool if it wasn’t police brutality like noooo caitlyn pls don’t let a dictator use you to further destabilize your country for her own gain you’re so sexyyy ahaha… idk man it’s complicated. she should quit her job and get a new one. and then get therapy.

11) Jayce: he’s interesting in that he is a good example of a privileged person attempting to make things better by utilizing the system, only to get sucked into said system, becoming part of it and therefore part of the problem. the road to hell is paved with good intentions. his intentions are so good and yet. he is idiot. I hope Ekko and heimydingy are able to lessen his idiocy.

12) ambessa: hooottttttttttt. so fucking hot. goddamn. have y’all SEEN the music video for blood sweat and tears. i’m fucking FERAL. unfortunately for her, looks aren’t everything and she’s the fucking worst so here we are.

13) elora: beautiful powerful wonderful woman. need more of her. what is her life like. have she and mel ever kissed. much to think about here.

14) heimerdinger: he’s annoying and he doesn’t take the much needed time to explain why he makes the decisions he’s making... but he’s also right. which i hate because he’s annoying. but i also like that he’s annoying because it shows the very true fact that ppl who are annoying can in fact be right about things. also his heist with ekko was funny and endearing so he has that going for him. ekko carried tho ngl

15) vander: he’s cool cuz he’s a swag dad. a kind man and a protective guy. all around a great dude tbh. ranks lower because he doesn’t have any particularly interesting character traits to me.

16) finn: he looks cool as fuck but isn’t relevant and is also kind of an annoying brat. which is funny but like also bro. stop.

17) ximena: literally lost some of her fingers to frostbite to protect her baby child kid son. based. i love her.

18) cassandra: milf. the scene with the her and the gun? cool as fuck. ranks lower bc, again, not very relevant. and also dead lol

19) tobias: imma be honest idrc abt tobias at all i just didn’t want to separate him from his wife. he has enough of that in the show LOL

20) claggor: sweet boy. deserved better. i wonder what he would be like now if he’d been able to grow up.

21) silco: morally i hate this guy but he’s also a fascinating character. he’s cool as fuck and a bitch. plus he does eyeball drugs. there are so many fucked up things about this dude i can’t list them all. overall he’s a very well done character and an absolutely fantastic villain. what a piece of work.

22) benzo: just an all around good dude. ranks low bc he’s extremely irrelevant. sorry dude. if this was a morals contest he’d obv be ranked higher, but it’s not, so here we are.

23) jericho: had to look him up LOLLLL thanks for making food for vi i guess. people who make food for other people are the best. that being said he ranks low because, again, irrelevant.

24) mylo: cringe fail asshole. not ranked last bc he was a kid, so i can give him the benefit of the doubt, cuz maybe he would’ve been a better person as an adult… but also he never got to be one so oops lol get ranked low loser

25) singed: brother euughhh. i like drugs too but not THAT much. maybe give this man some backstory and i’ll care about him. as it stands rn idgaf about this guy. i rebuke thee, get AWAY

26) marcus: fucking piece of shit rat. fuck this guy. selfish coward and i hate him forever. die

Here's a fun little sorter I put together for Arcane characters! Reblog with your list!

Let the sorting commence!

[talokanda-forever]

Alejandro and his cute, goofy, grumpy expressions. 😂

[hotpinkstaples]

my favorite thing about about the 90's young justice solos is that they catered towards three distinct audiences, and yet after all these years, the one that would have been LEAST likely to be projected into nowadays is now the MOST woobified out of the three.

tim: a story for white kids, by a white guy who hates poor people, and didn't really take itself OUT of that white-male-projective-state even after all these years. bonus note, now the gays can project into tim cuz timbo's finally out the closet, and chuck dixon wants to kill himself over it, but it's ok bc we like tim even tho we don't like chuck.

bart: a story initially about a time-displaced refugee whose narrative heavily mirrored a refugee's forced assimilation into a new culture WHILE also appealing to the adhd/autism crowd, which the writer was absolutely OK with because bart's story can be accepted by BOTH the refugee narrative enjoyers and the adhd/autism crowds without impinging on his narrative poignancy, plus mark waid actually loved bart and he loves that WE love bart. inshallah he will write his boy again.

kon: a story about teenagers who are being neglected, and so he's acting out every which way and partying it up because he was meant to appeal to the 90's teenage rage and show how easy it is for kids to get caught up with predators like knockout and tana because of the lack of structure and discipline in their lives, but when geoff decided to ignore nearly ten years of creator-run canon, we had to deal with his timkonnie dreams, and now geoff's leaving, so now we gotta deal with the yja nonsense and some lady's self-insert dreams going into a character whose writer is not only still alive, but actively on the bi!kon train but from the 90's crackhead era perspective. and HE'S the one most woobified.

it's absolutely facinating cuz you'd think kon would be the most hated out of the three bc of his issues with consent and the unhealthy ways he frames relationships, but instead it's BART who people hate the most! bart's being infantalized and discounted and used at a third-man-ship-prop, while tim's being rewarded for being an emotionally strugglesome white man who just came out of the closet, and it's not nearly as bad as how bart's getting his ass beat in the fandumb, but poor tim can't even date his high school homie in peace without someone crying about how he 'deserved' kon instead.

to think that the character with that many issues would be the MOST woobified character in the yj cast is insane, bc what are you even woobifying? his depersonalization? his lack of boundaries with women? his inability to read a room? the fact that nobody loves nor cares about him enough to protect him from the horrors of the world? the fact that he was a stellar example of a CSA survivor who didn't even KNOW he was a victim of CSA, and thus wasn't really able to understand the ramifications of his inappropriate behavior until years later when he forced himself into a masculine fold so he didn't fall into the trap of being like 'the old him' again?

kon's story was a story of self-hatred come to life in the most fantastical ways. he thinks it's ok to publicly date a grown woman other people are judging for dating a dumbass minor. he didn't know what a mother's love was, and had to witness it first hand with nanaue's mother. he thinks an emotionally unavailable and distant clone handler is his dad bc he doesn't KNOW anyone else who can fit into that mold. he thinks roxy's his sister but still has no problem sexualizing her in his head bc he thinks it's ok to find your older sister hot.

kon was the DEFINITION of the kids are not alright, nope, not at all, hell to the fuck no. geoff was the single biggest driver in stripping all the nuance from his character post-graduation day, but he not even here no more... what's the excuse in continuing to strip away at what makes kon, kon? i know dc's afraid to admit lois and clark looked the other way when a teenaged clone was dating an adult woman, but you woulda thought he woulda been a turnoff to the fandumb as well. he aint tho, so he suffers for it accordingly.

i can only hope karl kesel lands another contract after these new movies flop, so we can finally get a REAL follow-up to the 1994 solo. you could never make me hate that man's insane writing. justice for 1994 kon. if dc still had good writers, we coulda had a multi-year healing arc exposing how horrifying superheroing really is for people, and why clones deserve something to the equivalent of human rights. instead, he's doin fuckall and kissin m'gann. no shade to m'gann, she absolutely deserves more than the current caricature.

[huntingingoodwill]

And oh my god the Daniel dream was just as cute it was so good I was fighting to stay asleep to continue it. Literally as if I saw a fic unfolding before my very eyes with a mix of weird setting cuz it’s still a dream 😵‍💫 legit I’ve not clue if it was a fucking space ship or what it was so weird and stark white everything with silver pipes

But imma choose to recount it in the setting of a great mafia fic I read a while ago just to make more sense of it. It’s the newlywed days of an arranged marriage and he’s just the sweetest guy ever not overbearing at all just going with the flow like we’re still sleeping in separate rooms that how awkward it still is. I wholeheartedly believe it’s the cute shy awkward filled with embarrassing giggles and increasingly spending more time together 😍. Anywayyy me being on my period is central to the story cuz guess what I’ve run out of pads on my heaviest day 🙉 this is where the mafia aspect could fit in but it wasn’t ever rlly explicit cuz I got the feeling that there was probably someone else I could have asked to get me some a maid? Family member? Not a clue but it don’t matter cuz I felt most comfy asking danny boy🤩 and he proves to be the bestest (new fav word unlocked?) choice cuz he comes in with a whole gift basket with all the snacks and chocolates galore😩😩 (I love him so much no joke I’d marry this man rn) and thennn I’m super slick with it and ask for him to stay with me cuz I feel like shit and aaaahhhh he rubs the cramps away (fainting/swooning like a true regency era lady) and the rest is history aka I wake up

Really what happens next is a whole montage of me moving into the master suite and redecorating the hell outta his huge house😜 shopping spree included

And now I shall go to sleep listening to this blissful thunderstorm, watching lightning strikes and hopefully slipping into many more such dreams 😌😌

-☺️💕

THE ASK REAPPEARED LOL

daniel ricciardo says he knows a spot and then brings you here ^

damn that mafia fic kinda sounds like the legendary accessory to matrimony by huntingingoodwill available on tumblr for free for all those who are inclined 😏 (i lurve shameless self promo it’s hot)

that sounds really sweet and im so happy for you 😭 such a nice dream lol suddenly all my dreams seem very lame in comparison

hope you have more sweet dreams none of which include murdering your mum and sister ❤️

[skold]

alright fine here’s the fuckin punk house au summary

putting under a cut for length/content

abandon hope all ye who enter here for there is rpf, genderbends of both the cisswap and the trans variety, some recreational drug use, and one (1) underage character beyond the veil

so anyway punk house. it’s a house. there’s SO MUCH STUFF in the house and there’s only really 3 bedrooms but 5 people live there.

it’s kinda tim centric ig and tim is a trans guy who makes zines and is into vulture culture. got a lotta cool dead stuff. he’s like 28 and chris is his boyfriend who is cis and like 22. he’s basically just a shitty baby goth like when he was all greasy during infamous era. chris works at a gas station and tim works at the local goth store/piercing studio/head shop. chris has his own shitty studio apartment because tim doesn’t want chris to actually move in cuz he’s got a loft bed and doesn’t wanna sacrifice floor space to get a real bed that actually fits both of them comfortably. they do definitely cram into the loft bed when chris stays over but chris whacks his head a lot.

corey and jim are dating also but they don’t technically share a room bc corey’s a fucking animal. jim’s a trans girl and she’s also a witch and super crust punk and her love for corey is secondary to her truck which is an old beater from like he early 70s she fixed up. she works on bikes and cars at the local garage and is generally just super grunge butch knockoff jerry cantrell ass. think pre-slipknot long hair jim y’know. corey is gnc and a disaster. he’s a nuisance y’know. his “bedroom” is basically just a closet. mostly hangs out with paul whose room is just a converted living space kinda room right by the front door and paul is the local pansexual polyam mess. he has a bad habit of leaving his door open and half the house sees the genital configuration of whoever he’s hooking up with. his actual boyfriends are sid and #3 chris. shawn’s the token cishet cryptid nobody ever sees him and he has multiple locks and deadbolts on his bedroom door. he’s an artist apparently. nobody knows what the fuck his problem is.

uhhhh ricky is 17 and a baby trans and has a fat crush on justin who is chris’s co-worker at the gas station. and chris is like justin i s2g if u even LOOK at lil man sideways i’ll smear yr brain across the commissary. they’re def dating the second ricky turns 18 tho. and justin’s like 20 so it’s not actually weird. ricky’s mom drops him off everywhere all the time. ryan’s the pet heterosexual of the bunch and they keep him around cuz he drives and has the weed hookups. all the smokers roast him cuz he vapes and every time he gets a new cart jim has to try it so she can roast him adequately

uh what else lemme think. chris is xvx still and tim is the shittiest vegan on earth he’s just like yeah there was cheese on this pizza but i peeled it mostly off so it’s basically vegan now. jim’s ig profile picture is her truck and she does stick n pokes and taught tim how to do them. tim tattooed RAT QUEEN on her ass. john’s tim’s ex from before tim transitioned and she’s a cis mostly-lesbian who’s a stripper/escort who knows paul cuz he’s the bartender at the club she works at and she got tim the room in the first place. tim has a SMOKE GRASS EAT ASS patch on his battle vest but he doesn’t even rly smoke weed that often. he just keeps a pack of papers on hand and has like one rly stupid piece like a jack o lantern bong or a hand pipe that looks like worm on a string. when ricky got his first T shot his mom dropped him off at the house afterwards and tim ran out into the driveway with two cans of silly string spraying it all over him and screaming LIL MAN GOT THE DICK JUICE!!! and jim was just like “welcome to hrt hell just wait till yr genitals start doing weird shit here’s a congratulatory cigarette don’t tell chris”. the one time chris has seen shawn shawn took one look at him and said “you look like you’re into latex and eating ass” and chris just looked at tim like HOW DOES HE KNOW. sometimes shawn pays sid money to be involved in his “experimental art projects” but sid always comes rolling out bleeding and looking well fucked and everyone’s just like I Pretend I Do Not See It. jim and tim do a lot of leftist vandalism/graffiti and minor property destruction like knocking over those stupid scooters for anarchy reasons. chris has kind of a lot of instagram followers cuz he’s hot and does makeup lewks. paul has pissed in the fountain outside the local mexican restaurant so many times they were forced to remove it.

tagging so i can add to this later if anything needs to be added lmao

[shark-myths]

@alienfuckeronmain tagged me to deep-search my soul with these questions, and it is the exact distraction I was looking for! no pressure to do this one, pals, but i tag @carbonbased000 @leyley09 @shoeboxofphotographs12 @glitterandrocketfuel @allkindsofplatinumandpercocet @setting-in-a-honeymoon @toorational and anyone i’ve forgotten!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? does anyone like blue pens? who is this product made for

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? the city, cuz i spent 7 consecutive years very broke in rural areas with homophobia neighbors and having things to do is so thrilling. but i imagine one day retreating into the desert and living far from my nearest neighbors

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I have learned all the skills I am interested in right now, because learning new things is an a+ quarantine activity. maybe the ability to do physics? i would like to be proficient in physics and i am deeply not

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Never

5. What was your favourite book as a child? all of them! I have always read like i’m running out of time and often get stressed when i think about how few books i will be able to read in my lifetime. as a child I reread Lord of the Rings and Robin McKinley and the Holly Black Tithe series the most, and i was OBSESSED with those gold-paged books with ribbon bookmarks that were diaries of girls from different historical periods, and i have never been able to read historical fiction since.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I hated baths passionately until my chronic pain reached a tipping point, and since then i have learned to really enjoy the long hot soak with a drink and a book. (i didn’t like showers either until very recently. life support tasks felt like a huge waste of time until i got a partner who helped me figure out how to enjoy them)

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? i have always wanted to be one of tolkien’s elves! I want a long life filled with learning languages and reading books and existing in green peaceful spaces, and then i want to be able to die when i am done.

8. Paper or electronic books? I like paper better--I’ve been building a library slowly my whole life--but my kindle has been life-saving during the pandemic when i couldn’t go to the library.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? right now i’m doing all my work remotely and clothes feel meaningless, but i have a plain black tank top that i feel really comfortable in

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t like my name at all--it’s Kaylie--because it is so aggressively peppy and feminine. it doesn’t sounds like an adult’s name; it evokes exclamation points and pigtails. i have always wished for a severe, no-nonsense name like joan, or a pretty but to-the-point name like eva.

11. Who is a mentor to you? Leslie Knope

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I used to fantasize about being a famous writer, and now in my field i do wish i had a name that mattered or was considered esteemed or expert in something in some way. I would love to have a research job where i had paid time to publish! but i don’t want it enough to work on it outside of my capitalist mandatory labor hours, because i don’t have enough time for my loved ones as it is

13. Are you a restless sleeper? lately yes, since my cat died in january i have slept like absolute hell

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? not really, but i am a thoughtful one

15. Which element best represents you? earth

16. Who do you want to be closer to? physically i want to be closer to my long-distance pals like @alienfuckeronmain @newleafover @time-less @immoral-crow @leyley09 (leyna let’s have a movie night when i’m done moving???)

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? pretty much all my friends i used to regularly hang out with, sam who moved to seattle, sam who lives in madison, all the people i listed above

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I used to play going to work. i’d pack up a backgammon case as a briefcase, grab my stuffed gorilla, and go write in notebooks and move pieces of paper around

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I am an extremely boring person and all I eat is popcorn and bread

20. What are you most thankful for? having an able body that works to support me and keep me whole, having a partner who makes me feel truly cared for 

21. Do you like spicy food? yep!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? once at c2e2 i met george r.r. martin and no one else cared he existed because got wasn’t a show yet, so i awkwardly went up to him and proclaimed my love for his work, and then he trapped me in a long conversation about vampires

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? a journal! i have since i was pretty small, they take up a full shelf of a bookcase

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen, and i have lots of Special Pens that i only use for a particular purpose or project, because i am a huge raging...

25. What is your star sign? virgo

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy and without milk

27. What would you want your legacy to be? personally, that I wrote things that meant something to the people who read them; professionally, that i removed barriers to accessing healthcare for trans and gender expansive people

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? see above--I completely adore reading. last book was Sisters of the Vast Black and currently i’m reading The House in the Cerulean Sea and it’s totally charming. I’ve been reading really quality science and nonfiction writing too, please send me your recommendations

29. How do you show someone you love them? I make them breakfast, I tell them so constantly, I send them things in the mail, I bring them small interesting gifts, and I say every nice thought I have about them out loud 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? not especially, but it’s fun to chew on 

31. What are you afraid of? surgery

32. What is your favourite scent? smoke from blown-out candles, lavender, laundry detergent my loved ones use

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they’ve told me to call them? this seems like common courtesy

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I do so much less clinical work and work fewer hours in general, I would run for office so I could influence policy and stop wasting my fucking time on the ground level, I would spend more time writing, I would spend so much more time with my family, I would devote the time to running longer distances again in a way that doesn’t aggravate my busted knee

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean!

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? oh i would definitely spend that on something stupid and self-indulgent i wanted, like a pete wentz hoodie

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? YES! when i was kid every summer i’d be sent to jesus camp, which thank god because that’s what got me into fanfiction, and it was in the middle of nowhere, wisconsin, and you could see the entire milky way and shooting stars blaze across that thing ALL THE TIME, and it shook me to my foundation every summer and for a time i mistook that feeling for faith in god instead of wonder at the infinite being and possibility that is our generous universe

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i have none of my own but my partner has a 5 year old, so quite against my intention i have become a parent-adjacent person. i try to teach him about emotional accountability for the effect of his actions on others

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? the next tattoo i want is a big snake crawling up my mostly bare left arm

40. What can you hear now? my laptop fan

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m protecting someone else

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my relationship with my body

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’d really like to be a gentleman of leisure in a jane austen novel

44. What is your most used emoji? the purple heart

45. Describe yourself using one word. earnest

46. What do you regret the most? not going to a 4-year university and having a #college experience. it’s one of my most stinging regrets because it was not a decision i got to make for myself

47. Last movie you saw? what is a movie theater? what does it feel like to be in one? the last movie i watched is charlie’s angels from the early 2000s because that was an unexamined sexual awakening for me--lucy liu being efficient in leather has never left me, efficiency is the single trait i most attracted to--and i wanted my boyfriend to see how bad it is

48. Last tv show you watched? either Kipo and the age of the wonderbeasts or star trek tng!

49. Invent a word and its meaning. instead i will say that i think the most beautiful english word is ache. my favorite way of creating things is transforming and remixing what already exists, which makes writing with words someone else invented the ideal challenge and pastime 

(i really loved doing this! it was nice to talk about myself at the end of a workweek. thank you @alienfuckeronmain !)

[angryhausfrau-writes]

I’ve Traveled Troubled Oceans - Chapter One: The Plot

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this painting?” Jack asks the room at large.

Anne shrugs.

Charles grunts.

“Maybe Max would want it?”

That's the most sensible suggestion Jack's probably going to get out of the lot of them – and it's coming from the new guy. So that bodes well for this whole fucking venture now doesn't it.

“Wait,” Charles says, finally deigning to actually look at what the fuck Jack's talking about. “Flint didn't want it?”

It is, technically, Flint's painting. Traded to Jack for hash by some street kids and paid to Flint in recompense for connecting him with that party full of poncy coke fiends with more money than burst capillaries.

Anne gives a derisive snort.  “Nah, he fucked off to America to live in romantic poverty with his boy toy.”

Though given that said boy toy is heir to the Hamilton fortune, their romantic poverty is more likely to involve a stately home in Greenville or Chapel Hill or something than actual poverty of the variety he or Anne or Chaz are familiar with.

“Well I don't give a fuck what you do with it, Jack. Just get it out of here. I don't want any more Spaniards poking around. Or Russians. Or whoever the fuck they were. They fucking trashed the place.”

“Yes, of course, Charles. You're absolutely right. They simply ruined the whole crack den vibe we've got going on here. I'll make certain we get our interior decorating straightened out first priority.”

“Fuck you, Jack.”

Charles wishes.

“Well, if I'm actually giving it to Max, Anne had better be the one to deliver it.” Since Max doesn't like Jack, for some reason. And really, really likes Anne for completely obvious reasons.

“Fine,” Anne grits out. As if getting eaten out in the back of a Range Rover is really fucking up her social calendar. “But you're helping me carry it all the way to the fucking West End.”

Wonderful. Now Jack gets to stand outside in the cold while Anne gets eaten out in the back of a Range Rover.

“Fine.”

Jack shrugs on his warmest coat. Maybe he can make a little dosh off the snobby theater patrons. The rich artsy fucks – or those who style themselves that way, anyway – always have a habit or two to indulge.

But surprisingly, Jack gets pulled into the back of Max's car right along with Anne and the painting. And he doubts it's for another ill-considered threesome. Not with the way Max actually deigned to pause whatever boring regency-era drama she's got on. No, she wants to talk business.

Exactly what business that is becomes apparent when Mr. Scott joins them.

“You want the money,” Jack blurts out.

Max nods.

“And you want to use my crew to get it.”

Another nod.

“Fuck no. I'm not going against Eleanor and Woodes Rogers. Not for love or money.” He gets up to leave, gesturing Anne to follow. She's the love, he's the money.

Mr. Scott speaks up. “He owes me.” His tone is level, but Jack can read the vehemence behind it. “They all owe me.”

And Jack doesn't have to be a genius to guess what he means.

“He sent you away for that four stretch. Just like he sent Flint and Silver and who knows how many others.”

Like Charles. Oh, fuck, Charles. Who'd gone away on a two stretch on a job that shouldn't have been anything but a quick in and out. But somehow London's finest had been there, waiting, handcuffs just ready to snap around his wrists.

“That man owned me, body and soul.” And Mr. Scott's anger has gone beyond vehement to downright poisonous, though he's still speaking in that same even tone. “But he thought I was getting greedy. Getting uppity. So he sent me away, to teach me a lesson.”

Like he was some errant school boy and Lord Hamilton his headmaster. Oh, he'd always styled himself as such, the pompous prick. Mr. Scott takes a breath.

“So yes, I want the fucking money.”

Fair enough, in Jack's estimation. But that still doesn't explain why he's the one who has to go get it.

“Surely there are enough remnants of Flint's old crew to con into this suicide mission.” Billy Bones comes to mind. He's pretty sure either Eleanor or Woodes Rogers would be susceptible.

“Flint's gone,” Max supplies. “Bones turned traitor. And Silver paid me out the ass to help him disappear. Last I'd heard, he ran away up North to open a pub with Madi.”

So that's his share disappeared, then. No wonder Max is going straight to the source.

Anne snorts. “Wonder how long that honeymoon's going to last.”

Max smiles, and it's not a very nice expression. “Well, either they'll reconcile or Madi will be back here in a week with a big fat insurance payment on the pub that mysteriously burned down – and Silver will be nowhere to be found.”

Mr. Scott smiles proudly. Madi truly is her mother's daughter.

“Ok, ok. You're short on options. But that still doesn't explain why you'd come to me.” Jacks been out of that particular game since Charles went away. And sure, he's built himself a tidy little empire here, dealing drugs to the rich idiots who want them. But that doesn't mean he's ready to get back in the saddle – and certainly not with anything on the scale Max is talking about.

Max looks uncomfortable, which isn't an expression Jack's used to seeing on her. “It needs to happen quickly and with discretion.”

And there isn't anyone else she trusts with this, Jack realizes. Well, damn. Now he's got to do it – Max owing him a favor is worth thrice his weight in cold hard cash.

“Why the time limit?” Anne asks.

An excellent question. “The Eleanor I know doesn't need the money. She probably just took it because she got bored of her gilded little cage.” She'll want to keep it around for a while, as a trophy if nothing else.

“Eleanor doesn't need the money,” Max says with a grin that spells nothing but misfortune for her victims, “but Woodes Rogers is another story entirely.”

“I thought he was loaded,” Jack interjects. “Surely blow and rent boys can't run him that much.” Though if he holds parties like the one Jack had attended on a regular basis – that might actually start draining the old trust fund. But even so, he and Eleanor both work the kind of rich people jobs that amount to doing fuck all and being paid out the ass for it. So he doesn't think that's quite it.

Mr. Scott smiles, and it's not a very warm expression. “Apparently Mr. Rogers has something of a gambling problem. He's run up significant debts with some international syndicates – including our friends the Spanish.”

“And now that his patron Lord Hamilton is out of the picture,” Max continues, “he's left with wolves at the door. The cash is as good as gone by the end of the week.”

“Well shit,” Anne says.

A sentiment Jack wholeheartedly endorses.

“Even if I had an entire week to plan this venture, I couldn't guarantee success. And all you're giving me is three days! How the hell am I supposed to pull this off, Max?”

Max smiles. “Charles is back in town, isn't he?”

“Yes,” Jack says tightly.

“That's your way in.”

“Now I know you're joking.”

Max raises one delicate eyebrow in question.

“Charles and Eleanor had a rather... explosive falling out right before he went away. Surely you heard about it. There's no way in hell he's our way in – she'll slam the door right in his face.”

“The thing about Eleanor, Jack, is that she loves to burn bridges. But once she's burned them, she inevitably finds herself looking back across the water to the other side. And finds she rather misses what she had when she was there.”

And isn't that just a terrible insight into Max and Eleanor's former relationship. Jack shudders. He's never going to bitch about Max being with Anne again.

Probably.

“Ok,” Anne says. “So Eleanor still has the hots for Chuck and she'll fuck him just cuz of that.”

“Well, not just because of that,” Max interjects. “She'll fuck him because she likes to have her cake and eat it too.”

Max waves an airy hand around the group assembled.

“We are all well aware of how things ended between her and Charles. And she hates to lose face above all else. Her fucking Charles and then throwing him over is her rewriting the breakup – getting to play the all powerful king and him the pitiful subject, to be used and thrown away on a whim.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

“Fine,” Anne interrupts, annoyed. “Eleanor's going to play weird sex mind-games with him instead. How does this help us get the money?”

“Eleanor's the one who'd smell a rat,” Jack says. “Woodes Rogers isn't exactly the sharpest or most conniving knife in the drawer. He'd let us right in on, on the pretense of another party. We sell to him and his friends again and they're all too off their heads and sex crazy to bother wondering where we've run off to after.”

“The rich have an amazing ability to overlook the “help” once they've stopped making themselves useful,” Mr. Scott adds.

“Right, yes.” Jack nods decisively as a plan forms. “And with Eleanor otherwise occupied, we'd have run of the whole house. Plenty of time to snoop around and find the money. And if we bring a travel case for the drugs – we load up the cash and just walk out as if nothing ever happened.”

“And as luck would have it,” Mr. Scott interjects, “they plan on throwing a party this very Wednesday evening – in celebration of Miss Guthrie's birthday.”

A plan formed, Jack and the others all nod in unison. They're going to get that fucking cash.

Although convincing Charles to go along with it might be a little difficult.

[dj-diabolik-fan]

Tagged! (〃ω〃)

I was sighed by @vampiretsuki !! Thanks :333

＊＊＊

❶. Who would you rather take out to a night club, Carla or Azusa?

✭ I don’t know, who’ll be able to keep up with a Mexican discotheque? ;D

❷. In a Science test, would you copy Yuma’s test or Ayato’s test?

✭ Fuck, I don’t know. ( ；∀；) Ayato(? That dude’s got some pretty goddamn luck!

❸. Would you rather have Kino and Azusa or Shin and Laito, as your butlers?

✭ Kino and Azusa, bro. I feel safer, honestly.

❹. Go on a date with Reiji at the aquarium or go on a date with Subaru at a Cafe instead?

✭ I love going to the aquarium! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ I’m not really a Cafe or any hot drinks in particular person. ( ；∀；)

❺. Would you rather support/see Kou at one of his concerts or go support /see Shū at one of his Violin performances?

✭ I’ve always been curious on how one of Kou’s concerts might be like, but I hate being around a lot of people. Also, loud surroundings annoy me. A Shū’s Violin performance it is! (〃ω〃)

❻. In a math project, would you tema up with Ruki and Shin or with Reiji and Yuma?

✭ I guess, Reiji and Yuma. Reiji has a lab and does experiments I’m sure that requiers a lot of math(?. Yuma, I guess he would actually help in the project unlike Shin. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

❼. Who would you put your bets on, Kanato eating the most chocolates, or Ayato eating the most Tokoyakis?

✭ Ayato eating the most Takoyakis! Kanato ears sweets, but not only chocolate! ( ；∀；) I doubt he’ll eat more chocolates than what Ayato Can way Takiyakis. But, if it is a competition in between them I’m not actually sure anymore. d(￣ ￣)

❽. Sleep in Carla’s room, Subaru’s room or in Shū’s room? (You have the room to yourself, they aren’t there) Would you peak through their stuff?

✭ Carla’s room! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ OH HELL YEAH I WILL LOOK THROUGH HIS STUFF! (Even though I might get killed if he finds out) ( ；∀；)

❾. You’re a princess of the Victorian era! Your father has ordered that you have a bodyguard.. who would you choose as your personal bodyguard, Laito or Kou?

✭ Kou. Um, just cuz(?.

❶⓪. Would you prefer to have Kino in his bat form as your pet or Shin in his wolf form as your pet instead? 

✭ BRUH! Shin in his wolf form! I’ve dealt with dogs all my life—I guess it’ll kinda be the same(??—not to mention a bat Kino will be kind of annoying at some point. (￣ー￣ ) I know what that bish might do.

❶❶. Break a fight between Kou and Ayato or between Laito and Kanato?

✭ Which one’s deadliest? ( ；∀；)

❶❷. Who would you kiss on the cheek, who would you kiss on the forehead and who would you kiss on the left eyelid? Options: Ruki, Subaru, Azusa.

✭ Cheek: Subaru

Forehead: Azusa

Left Eyelid: Ruki

\(//∇//)\

❶❸. Take care of Shu and Reiji in their Chibi form or take care of Subaru and Kino in their Chibi form? 

✭ Subaru and Kino in their chibi form!!! I get to carry them around and pamper them—OMG PLEASE! \(//∇//)\

❶❹. Sing/Perform in public Laito’s Q.E.D Song or Reiji’s Mr.ButterflyMask song?

✭ Laito’s Q.E.D.! I’ve to do so, what bad can it do? :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):

❶❺. Would you rather wear Ruki’s casual outfit or Yuma’s casual outfit?

✭ Ruki’s casual outfit! I love how freaking goth-like and elegant he looks!

❶❻. Go on a Vacation trip with Shu, Kino and Ayato at a Amusement park or go with Shin, Azusa and Subaru at a Water Amusement Park?

✭ If I go to the amusement park, they’ll force into a roller coaster and I HATE heights! I guess to the Water amusement park with Shin, Azusa and Subaru! ( ；∀；) I don’t feel safe about comfortable a swimsuit though xD

❶❼. Would you rather get lost in a forest with Reiji, Kino and Kou or with Ruki, Carla and Kanato?

✭ Um... I don’t feel safe in any of those scenarios. But... definitely NOT Ruki, Carla and Kanato. :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):

❶❽. Who would you cook breakfast for? Who would you make a scarf for? and Who would you do a drawing for? Options: Kou, Azusa, Shu.

✭ Cook breakfast for: Shū’s lazy ass xD

Make a scarf for: Azusa \(//∇//)\

A drawing for: Kou! <3

❶❾. Participate in a Circus as Carla’s Knife thrower assistant or go to a Casino with Shin and be offered as a bet/reward by him in the Roulette Wheel game? (So if Shin looses you’ll be taken away by whomever won)

✭ :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'): uh, um ( ；∀；) Fuck, I’m Mexican, I guess I can a way to get away from the casino bet!

❷⓪. Who would you rather catch by accident taking a shower, Yuma or Kanato?

✭ Yuma, bro! \(//∇//)\ My reasons are explained by themselves!

＊＊＊

Thanks for the tag! I had lots of fun!

I tag: @uzi-boozii @infernal-iris @forgottenrose22 @dialover-author-couples @firstbloodkingdl idk!!!!

[cottonsecurityblanket]

So I watched The Ancient Magus Bride ⚠Spoiler Warning⚠

When I saw the ad of this show on Instagram I said in the comments if that girl doesn’t fall in love with the skull man I’m going to be very disappointed. I WAS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST! I’m gonna talk about this very differently and this might be really long so I’m sorry. So here’s my thoughts on the anime.

I FUCKING LOVE IT! THIS SHOW GIVES ME LIFE! CURSE YOU ANIME MAKING ME WANNA DATE AND/OR FUCK THINGS I SHOULDN’T! Weeaboo cringe aside hot damn this show is good. Now let’s chat.

Firstly the opening. I don’t really pay attention to openings because I’m on my phone but this one made me stop everything and shush my boyfriend. Talk about something that grabs you. The singer’s name is Junna and she’s only 16 years old. The guitar is amazing and the visuals during it are great and those opening lyrics. WOO! It’s something new and fresh. Get away from the rock style music in a anime about step sisters in love (Citrus) or some dude singing high pitched with a great guitar riff and that be the only part I enjoy (Tokyo Ghoul). I love this opening. I listen to it in my free time and it just fucks me up.

WATASHI WA KOKO. Fucks me all the way up.

So in the beginning we see a girl with red hair and green eyes from Japan whose name is Chise (like cheese and say) and she’s selling herself because she wants to feel wanted and almost jumped from a building because she hates how she’s treated like an outcast. The scene then goes to Chise in chains walking through this auditorium like place with other creatures and this is the first indication or how visually amazing this anime is. Behind Chise are like giant wolf creatures and the reflection of the light from aquariums just….this anime is stunning. The animation quality of this show is 16 outta 10. I usually dont like when a serious anime turns chibi for light banter but when this anime does it I have no issue. The design of Chise, the vibrant colors, the lighting, reflection is absolutely gorgeous.

People are bidding on Chise and a man with a red blanket over his face and antlers bids 6 million on her. In this scene she’s sold to people in a…illegal magic auction i assume and Chise is a Sleigh Beggy.

A Sleigh Beggy is a person who has overwhelming amount of magic flowing from them but the amount of magic is so much that their bodies can’t handle it and they die in a year or two which is weird by the way because if Chise has been a Sleigh Beggy all her life and has lived this long you’d think shed be okay to live a little longer but whatever. Plot holes are like pot holes you can ignore them when you know where they are.

Throughout the show it’s implied but never directly said that there have been other Sleigh Beggys but nobody has really seen them in person. This is mostly because of how every new person she meets is shocked and amazed at her.

Back to the auction after a man bids 6M he wins her and we see that hes maybe 6'11 or 7 ft tall and has a wolf skull as a head (yes I looked it up). His name is Elias and they call him the Mage of the Thorn. We see why later in the episode and in episode 7 when Chise gets stabbed by a giant mantis and he looses his shit. Turning into this creature that I wish I could explain.

Immediately after the auction Elias takes her to his house and removes her chains with a touch. The house is adorable and I love it. I couldn’t live in it by myself though. Elias has a maid named Silver but Chise calls her Silkie. She cooks, cleans, and tends to the garden. In episode 15 we learn that Silkie is a Banshee and she fell into a catatonic state after her first family died. This Faire spirit leads her to a new house and he asks why she was there and Silkie says “I want my family.” this is the first time we hear she has a voice. And that she can talk. Being a banshee though I doubt she really could without breaking stuff or warning of death. 

Even in the short lived sentence Silkie is whispering. The Faire dresses her as a Victorian era style maid with a bonnet and wide dress and names her Silver. In the same episode we gets lots of quiet time with her as she sits around an empty house waiting for Elias and Chise to return. When Silkie was first introduced in the show I thought she would be the quiet character that doesn’t have emotions but everyone would love. In the first few episodes when she gives Chise her plate of breakfast she wraps her arms around her shoulders and rests her chin on her head. In the quiet segment with Silkie she shows that she is bored and misses Elias and Chise in the house. When they return Silkie is happy and hugs Chise. I love Silkie as a character. She takes care of both Chise and Elias which is adorable and she has a scene where she stands outside Elias’s bedroom door with a bat and that got a chuckle from me. Hell I rewinded that scene a few times.

After being taken home ,in the first episode, Chise, while in the bath internally monologues, reveals that her mother tried to kill her and her father and brother left her at a young age. She was bullied in school and pushed to the point of almost jumping off of a building then bringing us to the introduction of the anime.

While Chise is in the bath faire sprites come to greet her and call her Robin and say her red hair means she’s got great magic abilities. Later on in the night one of the faire sprites invites her for a walk in the forest to go outside. Turns out it’s a trap to lead Chise into what’s called “The Other Side” which is basically a relm where Faires live in meaning shed be a Faire. Chise choses not too because Elias is the only home and family she knows so she tells them no and then Elias comes to save her and we see his magic for the first time. Aftrr this scene we get to the meat and gravy of what this show is about. Elias says he will train Chise as his apprentice and he wants her to be his bride.

As Im sure you can tell this anime is about magic but unlike the successful Fairy Tail and the failure (in my opinion) that is Black Clover this is something very different and new. There are mages, sorcerers, witches, dragons, faires, centaurs, and demons in this world and we see so many variations and different kinds of each of these things. Even knew kinds of magical creatures that I’ve never seen before. You can truly see the time, effort, and dedication to this show and its absolutely amazing. I wish I could think of another word but this show is just amazing.

The first episode is very good about making you want to watch the next episode so find out more about the characters and story. It’s also very good at not revealing too much but just enough about Elias that not only makes Chise want to know more but also you.

Elias Ainsworth is a creature of some sort but nobody really knows what. He doesn’t know what but he is half fae. The first memories of his existence are of him walking. He can go into the shadows of people and hide in them (something he does with Chise a lot) and also has this weird ability to change his form from something wolf like with a fish tail, to something snake like, and in episode 18 he turns into this mass where he tries to eat Chise because he’s throwing a temper tantrum. Why? Cuz Chise had a friend over. No I’m not joking. 

In episode 3 Chise meets Lindel who is the caretaker of the Land of Dragons and she goes back to him in episode 12 and this is when Lindel explains how he met Elias. Elias unsure of what he is, is very confused. He thinks he used to eat humans which seems like a stretch but sometime in an episode when Chise sleeps in Elias bed with him (the same scene with Chise and the bat) and he’s threatening to eat her. Not a personal kink of mine but I don’t kink shame. In the beginning it seems that Elias just wants to help her but then it turns into Elias learning emotions and more about humans. It’s adorable really but often problematic.

I say problematic because and @redslayvega talked about this in their post about how both Chise and Elias have mental issues. A summary of their post is that Chise is willing to do anything to make anyone happy besides her while Elias is very dependent on her and has separation anxiety. Anytime Chise leaves to do her own thing he pouts and that affects Chise however she does keep doing it. I forget which episode it is, but when Chise hangs out with Alice on Christmas Eve he says she should’ve done it and he doesn’t trust her to go out alone anymore. In episode 21 the dude takes one of Chise’s dear friends to trade places with her when she gets the dragon’s curse. I mean jesus Elias. Chise rocks his jaw and is pissed. I would be too. She gets angry saying that she wanted to think about it with him. He can’t stand the thought of her leaving him. 

Besides that Chise and Elias’s relationship is very adorable and I absolutely love it. It changes from student and teacher to mother and son, to father and daughter, and in reality their just two kids who need to figure out what emotions really are. Chise doing more than Elias. The sound Elias’s skull makes when he rubs it on Chise’s face is a small but awesome detail. There’s a love between them and it’s not the main focus of the show however a very important aspect and also a good way to build character development and make good relationships between people. The two of them are just too cute. In Episode 6 Elias takes Chise to “The Other Side” to heal her and when they meet the Faire King and Queen the two talk about what kind of kids Elias and Chise should have. Then they bet on how many. Chise blushes at the possibility of having kids with Elias and Elias starts to feel things in his stomach. Butterflies. Elias protects Chise as much as he can and Chise helps Elias when he throws fits i.e. the temper tantrum we talked about earlier.

Chise gets a familiar and names him Ruth in episode 7. Ruth is a black dog who is tormented by the death of his master who was run over by a carrige. I think. He doesn’t remember what he is and it isn’t until episode 8 that he remembers and the two bond and he becomes her familiar. When she dies he dies and they are emotionally connected. I think Chise calls him her brother but I can’t remember. In the same episode of 7 and 8 we also meet the main antagonist of this series.

It threw me for a loop when they introduced an actual antagonist . Up until the point it seemed to be episodes of small missions and favors and days of shopping. If that’s all the show was going to be about I would’ve been okay but them throwing in this was amazing. It happens so suddenly too and there’s no preparation.

There’s a sorcerer named Renfred and he and Elias dont seem to be on good terms but have a good enough relationship to work together when needed. He has an apprentice named Alice who is hot in a suit and generally V attractive. In her backstory she was just a kid on the streets doing drugs until Renfred found her. We first meet the two in episode 4 and 5 when there’s a black mass in the land of cats and while Chise wants to destroy it without hurting the cats Alice and Renfred think to destroy everything. Then in episode 7 Alice is trying to kill Ruth (before he became Chise’s familiar) and Chise uses a potion on her that puts people to sleep. Alice wakes up and explains she’s looking for this kid who’s apparently evil and when she says this a giant mantis mean to stab Alice stabs her and then we’re introduced to the villain and main antagonist. 

His name is Joseph (my boyfriend’s name) but it seems his...demonic name is Cartaphillius. He gets mad when you call him that. He is a sorcerer who wants to make a chimera for some reason. He doesn’t even remember why in this scene. I forget who explains this but Joseph is immortal cuz of someone who cursed him and can’t die. The bastard gets his arm ripped off and just says “Oh silly me.” Like dude. Joseph really does have a reason for what he does or a “goal” of his. He goes around doing fuck all just because he can. We see him mostly doing “experiments”. In episode 4 and 5 we found out he’s the reason for the black gelatinous mass in the land of cats and that was a failed experiment. In episode 19 some goons of his (or people he possessed not sure) take dragons and he kills one for some reason. I dont remember if he just wanted to or if he had a reason but he puts the other one on auction THE SAME AUCTION CHISE WAS AT BY THE WAY. 

In that same episode Chise has a dream with Joseph in it and it seems like there’s another form like some sort of demon or monster inside of him. In the dream when they first start talkig he sounds like a sweet but confused kid then he starts to loose it and pins Chise to the ground and his eyes turn hollowed out. That leads me to think maybe he and Chise are connected somehow. It’ll be interesting to see how what his story it. Something tells me however that Joseph really just wants death. He’s been around so long that he just wants to die fucking around until he finally does. If that’s the case Chise will grant him that death because that’s just how her character is.

I absolutely love this anime. It’s visually amazing. The characters have so much depth and story that I just want to see more of. The plot is simple on the surface but it’s so much more. This is a very different and new anime that I’d recommend to anyone. This anime breaks the 13 episode rule so I’m hoping this show just does the entire manga in one go like Twin Star Exorcists did. I absolutely love it to the core. The animation quality is 10/10. The design is amazing. The colors. The textures and backgrounds give me a feeling. There’s a scene where Chise falls into a river and she sees this giant river dragon and it’s absolutely breath taking. The background music gives this ambiance. So much stuff in this anime is perfect and is done right. This is how you do a magic anime. Agree with me on some things or not. This is a good anime. This is a great anime and I love it with every fiber of my being.

16 outta 10. I’m ready to bleed for this bitch. I know this was sloppy and all over the place but understand one thing. I’m ready to bleed for this show.

Next review will be on Citrus (part 3) and the problem child that is Black fucking Clover and I have some choice words. My boyfriend says hi.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 4X2 Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester

eyyy Rock n roll AMV!

also that title is fun! song is fun! promising!

I got my hot cocoa with the peeps

grIpPed YoU tiGht

SERIOUSLY HOW DID THEY GIVE THESE THE SAME VIBES AS AN AMV THIS IS BOTH HILARIOUS AND SO GOOD AHAHA

oooo hunter lady! interesting girl character!

oh she gets possessed doesn’t she

oh great she gets killed by ghosts

GroPed bY an ANgel

Sam is seriously trying not to make fun of Dean it’s so funny

Oh ok I see where the religious trauma comes from, wait I want more

they’re fucking googling castiel

HE’S CLUTCHING HIS SHOULDER HE’S CLUTCHIN-

THE MICRO HALF SMILE AT THAT

“vegas money’s on yeah” IS SO GOOD

“I’m just a regular guy” oh no 

doesn’t like getting singled out oh no

he looks fucking DESPERATE and GUTTED 

JESUS did Hell do a number on him

DAD BOBBY! IT’s SO GOOD

“smite first, ask questions later,” interesting

HE FORGOT THE PIE

oh my god it’s going after hunters

and that’s a BRUTAL way to kill someone

...if this is a knock at the “doing good” of hunters...oh boy

THE DESTROYED RIB CAGE AAAAA

oh god no not the hunters, there’s already not that many

uh oh shadowy figure

and goes after Sam in specific interesting 

Dean is sleeping, he’s a pretty easy target

oh it’s people they know

NOOO I MISS HENRIKSEN

OH NO IS THIS THE FIRST TIME no wait they did show it, aw Sam hoped he’d gotten out

dammit I really loved season 3 didn’t I 

no no, he does have a point, they wouldn’t have died if not for the winchesters

...kids? why are kids on for Bobby

ok, genuinely spooky

Bobby’s cap adds a HELLA visual

KIDS??

no

no not fucking Bobby no I’m going to FUCKING RIOT NO

the car yard

ah jeez poor Bobby

Meg??? with longer hair??

oh come off it Meg’s sense of style was Cool

ok see...this one...really wasn’t their fault? like maybe this would have made sense later

AH THERE IT IS THE “why didn’t you help me”

I knew it there it is 

oh the “you think you’re some kind of hero” “No i don’t” 

post-hell Dean is....an experience of Terrible Self Esteem and Fuck You it’s....

painful

oh good they both have little siblings

...look this wasn’t really them though? I mean kinda but?

ooo lots of stunts in this one

eyyy Bobby called them idjits again

I love the Bunker Thingy

“you built a panic room” with the smile and “I had a weekend off” BAHAHA

Dean please talk to your brother

no not God why is this where you go

ah the “what’s wrong with God, what was the point” 

no see HE HAS A POINT

Bobby: No fuck this conversation

~just for tourists~ Bobby I love you

HEY DEAN DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD NOW

eyyy look apocalypse time

see now I’m older, 5$ a gallon gas is Horrible

Dean: I wanna Live

the “not their fault” seems important here, like they have valid points

OH NO Ronald RESNICK or whatever his name was

I also don’t think this one was entirely their fault? 

ok but this would have been a NEAT recap episode 

NO FUCK MEG HAS A  P O I N T WITH RUBY

First name basis with ~victor ~henriksen oho

goddammit no I see it

and it’s NOT Fair that he gets saved from hell and others don’t

interesting that Dean forms connections and Sam doesn’t feel as bad about shooting them

thinking bout stanford era

ooo Bobby getting to Magic Power it is a Nice touch

~wings flutter~ 

OHO FUCK YEAH

Cas why

disheveled angel boi I love it

oho I LOVE HOW THEY FUCK WITH WHAT ANGELS ARE

also they’re kinda angry now

If there is a god

aHAHA 66 seals has WAY TOO MANY CONNOTATIONS NOW

lucifer? uh oh

CAS’S HALF SMILE WITH “you thought there was no such thing as me” 

hearing “we tried” from an angel is so funny

MISHA’S F U C K I N G HAIRCUT

he has a point Dean fix your damage

“I dragged you out of hell, I can throw you back in” 

AND JUMP CUT TO BEING AWAKE OHO HO WAS IT A DREAM WAS IT-

okieokie! wrap up!

1. ok ok ok, here’s the thing. As far as a recap episode(specially because they HAD to make the premiere that whodunit as to what raised Dean out of hell), this was interesting. Like grappling with guilt over the ones they couldn’t save is an INTERESTING plot, specially for hunters. HOWEVER. I think this might have been too early? Like(and don’t shoot me) I kinda wanted Bela. Or at the very least, something later. Because since it had to set up so much(which it did pretty well) it didn’t really address their screw ups. Like even when the victims had a point I would go “but it wasn’t really their fault” WHICH IS HOW THE SHOW CONDITIONS YOU! Like if they’re interrogating hunters more this season(with Cas? I presume?) then that would have made sense. Like all this showed me was how skewed this show is towards the boys and their successes. We’re in their heads, and I really wish they’d ACTUALLY addressed it properly more. Interesting, but a bit ham fisted in places

2. The interesting thing is that Dean didn’t shoot! he formed a connection quicker, or he knows what it’s like to be tortured, but he was way more empathetic than Sam! (thinkin bout that one Stanford Era Dean Post on my dash today about how this guy desperately yearned for a connection when his brother was gone, and-)

no nope not today

I do see where the Arrogant!Sam thing I saw on Tik Tok came from, at least early seasons. I’m still not that far in and I do think it’s an interesting dichotomy.

3. ANGEL! ANGELANGEL! I do like how Dean, cuz of his ~damage, is snippy to Castiel(and religion in general) and he responds by essentially putting him in his place. It’s good to have a balancing act, and hopefully it sands him out a little? or at least this connection ends up being a good thing? whatever, I think having Powerful Angel trying to Motivate Human and Gets Pissed Off because he’s ANNOYING is REALLY GOOD! I REALLY LIKE THAT!

also worth saying the costume REALLY fucking good, you can tell it’s Castiel SO quick

other than my gripes about how this episode was set up and handled in places, I enjoyed the New Lore! Having Castiel around makes it be that the plot keeps yeeting forward. 

yeet!

[kxlebcross]

[ even numbers for the weird asks, pleaseeee ]

me: has to google what are even numbers lol

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops, cuz after that i can munch on the lil lollipop stick too which keeps me busy lol

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? i know it totally doesn’t look like that but i used to be the class’ smart kid who participated in all kind of competitons and shit like that, was in the school choir, went to music school... so yeah, i was pretty much your average nerd, but then i grew up stewpid haha

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? a weird mix of tomboy and grunge, depending on the day and actual mood, weather and whatever the hell i got clean lol

8. movies or tv shows? movies - i usually lose interest in every series after like... 2-3 episodes? i only finished like 3-4 deries in my whole life so i guess the number speaks for itself

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i used to be pretty good at volleyball back then, though i was always considered too short to be on the school team haha 

12. name of your favorite playlist? am 4:44 with a little moon emoji, made by yours truly (aka me)

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? i don’t really eat sweets... but when i do i go for sour jellies but idk if that counts as candy haha

16. most comfortable position to sit in? have you ever saw one of those “bisexuals can’t sit normally” memes? pretty much all of those, i always sit in random poses until my back gives in, i don’t have a favorite position tho

18. ideal weather? the summer night’s warm weather with a little breeze, maybe with some clouds... but i usually enjoy rains and thunderstorms too unless i have to go out because then i’m like bruh

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? depends on what i have to write - for school notes i usually use a notebook and/or my laptop; for stories - my laptop or my phone’s notes if the inspiration gets me outside; everything else i’ll just write on random scraps of paper or in random notebooks just to never find them again haha

22. role model? i don’t really.... have one? i rather have a motto to live by but i don’t really look up to anyone tbh

24. favorite crystal? don’t have one, i dunno shit about crystals lol

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? go out for a nice walk or some drink with my friends, walk my cat outside or just chill on my balcony with a boo while terrorizing my neighbors with a randomly chosen edm playlist

28. five songs to describe you? human by sevdaliza badmind by kuzi scar by foxes throat full of glass by combichrist 5:3666 by machine gun kelly

30. places that you find sacred? uhhh..... i can’t really think of any that would fit here? but i never really step in weird plant formations in forests and shit like that, cuz better be safe than sorry

32. top five favorite vines? i literally only have one favorite vine and it’s the two guys chillin in a hot tub, thats it

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? every seasonal whiskas one because of the baby cats.... but other than that i haven’t seen an ad in ages, i don’t have tv and use adblock on pc haha

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? i...c an’t remember, it was probably one of the rage comics or trollface comics? can’t really recall tbh it was ages ago

38. lemonade or tea? lemonade, with lots of ice cubes and mint, give it to me pls

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? well in elementary some guy from the older classes took a sh*t then went to one of the classrooms to wipe his ass with the curtains there lol also some other time someone pissed out of the window on the first floor  in high school someone gassed the whole school with pepper spray, but like an insane amount, and everyone went immediately panic mode, police and firemen were called, the whole school evacuated..... and the one responsible for that had to pay like an insane amount of money for the police/fire dept. action haha

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets, i don’t trust jacket pockets cuz they usually dont have a lil zipper to close them up and i’d totally lose my phone if i put it there, im stewpid like that

44. favorite scent for soap? orange-vanilla or some other citrus-y scent

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? anything oversized will do with some pants/underwear

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? probably a grapefruit, fucking bitter about everything lmao

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? once i laughed at a plastic bag being dragged around by the wind for like 10 minutes while being fucked up drunk... does that count?

52. favorite font? hands down times new roman

54. what did you learn from your first job? that the customer isn’t always right and that apparently i had a knack for putting down tiles

56. favorite tradition? does halloween count? i love halloween

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m a really good driver.... and i think that’s it? i really can’t come up with anything else... does being loud and obnoxious sometimes count? and i think i’m good enough with people too... and i think i’m a good listener? idk, i’m pretty useless tbh

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? give me the good old horror and make me the obnoxious side character who rarely ever speaks cuz no one ever asks them anything, that would pretty much resemble my actual life

62. seven characters you relate to? bojack horseman, sal paradise, loki from mcu, wednesday addams, oba yozo from no longer human, richie tozier, holden caulfield

64. favorite website from your childhood? club penguin! i wasted sooooo much time on there, sheesh....

66. favorite flower(s)? i really like succulents and ferns! and cactuses... or anything that’s low maintenance tbh

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? licorice... and also cucumber lemonade, gross

70. left or right handed? right

72. worst subject? i’m really bad with history and physics, i’m just way too dumb for those

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? around 9-10, i’m pretty much used to all my chronic pains and tbh i don’t like taking pain meds cuz i always have to take double because once i was misdiagnosed and spent almost a year on painkillers so barely anything works for me now... thanks public healthcare

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? fries... i’d love some now, i’m actually hungry 

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from gas station, now pretty much all of them have decent coffee machines and the prices are okay too and i definitely trust them more than any boxed sushi ever

80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel

82. pc or console? i grew up as a pc kid and tbh never had the money for a console so i just got stuck with it haha

84. podcasts or talk radio? if i necessarily have to choose then podcasts

86. cookies or cupcakes? both as long as its witch choccie

88. your greatest wish? let’s be realistic - i’d like to have my own place and little car and cats and i’d be all good

90. luckiest mistake? drunk kissing this one guy from my esports team after telling him i was a lesbian and he told me he had a girlfriend, it was stewpid tho, lets not get back to it

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights, the latter necessarily in blue, it’s just neat and doesn’t bring in all the mosquitos at summer when i leave the window open

94. favorite season? spring

96. desktop background? some assassin’s creed logo fanart i’ve found on alphacoders

98. favorite historical era? i.... really...... hate....... history...... blame it on my middle school teacher who made me hate it lol

[dachi-chan25]

Sengoku Night's Blood Episode 1 Recap

This anime is of course based on an otome game based on the Sengoku/ Warring Era of Japan (if you are not familiar with Japanese History it basically boils down to a lot of asshole daimiyos and lords fighting each other for lands and influence cuz the emperor was just a symbolic figure and couldn't control them anymore so they were just like fuck law, it ended when three warlords: Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and Tokugawa Ieyasu gradually unified Japan. After Tokugawa Ieyasu's final victory at the siege of Osaka in 1615, Japan settled down into several centuries of peace under the Tokugawa Shogunate.) which I think will come onto play later on the series, I haven't played the game so who knows? But I do know there are characters named after these three important historical figures. *On this first episode we get a shot of modern day Tokyo? I guess? Well a city and a girl (our MC) is walking and gets out her pone when bam the phone swallows her in a wierd shojo light and suddenly she is in the Sengoku Era, of course she doesn't know that and is extremely confused when she hears a battle taking place just breyond some bushes, actually I understand why she doesn't move or does anything cuz she doesn't know where the hell she is and drawing attention to herself in the middle of a battle doesn't sound like a great idea to me. *Yeah so after the battle is won, MC makes a little scared sound and attracts the attention of the winner side the Leader Toyotomi Hideyoshi introduces himself (MC recognizes the name so I guess she knows she is the Sengoku Period at least??) and his merry crew, I can't remember all the names sorry (there are a a shit ton of characters and I feel this will turn into an UtaPri kind of franchise or will die trying to be) but some of them sounded familiar and then when the name Masamune Date came up I realized they are the names of lots of real samurai and ninja clan warriors from the Warring Era (neat) so anyway sexy otome versión of Toyotomi Hideyoshi decides to take MC (seriously she doesn't have a name yet and I am raging cuz I love my otome girls) with them for shits and giggles and barely makes a comente about her strange clothing (Lmao this is why I love otogames) *Then we jump to a keep with lots of furries???? I was confused af tbh everyone had these moe ears but they were warriors (I asume they are the ninjas cuz one of them is called Sasuke and is only fitting) anyway they are fighting as well and yeah there is not much plot to be found here but nice way to fuck me up and tempting me to buy the fricken games (well played otomate) #I am weak *We are in Toyotomi's war council and for some reason MC is there (so no suspicion of her being a spy? Really guys? These kinda games always include that aspect) and she is just as confused as me as to why must she be with them and acompany them to battle so she asks, and they all are like well Toyotomi is intrested in you so you stay as long as he wants *shrug* (Lmao I love this) unfortunately MC is just not into the idea (I love she gives no fuck's about being surrounded by bishies) and goes to a meadow to brood when suddenly a tanuki who by the way denies to be a tanuki but totes looks like one appears before her and gets all teary and Kuwaii, so basically there was a being called Himemiko-sama who kept peace on the land or something but when she dissappeared the war begun amongst.... Wait for it: Werewolfs (they are the furries btw), Vampires and the Tanuki's species so kinda like kawaii animals who speak. LMAO we gonna ignore all the history folks #otogelife, anyway before dissappearing Himemiko told Tanuki that he must look for the girl of the other world, and of course that means our MC,who is like nice story bud but why should I give a crap? When she realises that maybe this Himemiko knows why she came into this world and could also return her home and she accepts to help him. *Suddenly they are interrupted by Toyotomi (tanuki dissappears inside a bush) and he sits with MC and tells her not to be shared and lots of other doki doki stuff. *So they are fighting and Toyotomi is an overconfident ass, they get attacked from behind and MC reasonably freaks out, they run while Toyotomi slashes through those soldiers like they were butter, but dama he gets injured for being a cocky ass, MC says she wants to help him in some way cuz he saved her (honey he also put you in danger it the first place but k) and he gives he a katana and is like then fight, she though visibly scared agrees and tales the weapon (I am in love, give this girl a name pls) and he just laughs handsomely and says he won't lose to her in bravery, gets up to fight some soldiers that found them. *Night falls on them and they decide to return to the camp, she worries about his injury but he is like dun worry I heal fast (my spidey senses are tingling) but oh noes what happened to you! She has a little scratch on the neck (lol we all know where this is going but yassss give it to me) and brushes it up like nothing, but he is like oh god your blood~ I am a vampire but never felt the urge to drink blood like this ( Yes they made Toyotomi Hideyoshi a bishie vampire) so he leans in and licks her neck (oh my! *insert george takei gif*) she is shocked while he is like relax girl I only drank a lil' bit when bam! A wierd shonen energy surrounds him (is he also a saiyan?) and wooooahhhh her blood as it turns out has super speshul powers (I knew it) and the wham! A super gothic vampire Prince appears and it turns out to be Oda Nobunaga (what? Is Tokugawa a vampire or a flurry wolf?? #I need answers) and the episode ends. Final thoughts: LMAO, what can I say? is is hillarious, nothing makes sense and every historical figure is a hot bishie but idgaf, I needed something like this after all that GoT drama, actually I am hella intrigued at where the fuck is this plot going but yeah overall enjoyable, not the best beginnings there is to a reverse harem, actually a rather weak start but who knows maybe it'll pick up and let me a mess until the Second season (like UtaPri) actually has a lot of Reverse Harem characteristics and I hope they don't let me down on the romantic development department.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s01e22 The Fisher King Part 1 season 1 finale review

Episode 22 – The Fisher King Part 1

Okay, so we’re at the finale of season 1! Wow, that was quick! (At least for me) And I can honestly say I am beyond pumped for the next 11. I have no idea what Fisher King means except for the pretty bird that is named that, but I really have no fucking clue what goes on here.

Let’s see what happens.

Ok, that house is creepy. Just saying.

A mangled male hand running over a sleeping girl’s body, not creepy at all … I think … I mean, why can’t they show us who it is?

Frack, he has a knife.

Why did they cut automatically to the BAU? That is some serious teasing.

Morgan is taking Elle to a resort? No! He should be taking Penelope! No! someone boink this guy over the head.

“Trust me when I tell you it is off the hook. Hot sunny days, cool breezes at night, never-ending tropical drinks with the little umbrellas, and nothing but young, beautiful adults looking to make vacation memories.” Ooh, he should run ads for resorts, cuz mama I am hooked!

Why are you calling him pretty boy? I mean, he is pretty, but why are you teasing Spencer like that baby? Not nice.

Wow. Reid was oddly cryptic about going home. Is something not right? I’m intrigued.

Yay! Aaron is going home, and he is happy about chores? Oh no.

Hahahahahahaha oh my god Gideon just made my entire day and I’m only 02:02 minutes into the show. He’s going to an abandoned cabin in the woods and wants them to not call him. And he’s serious about! He said it twice!

Wow. I love the carvings! Both metal and wood are so elaborate, I’m so impressed.

Okay, now we’re going into medieval paintings that literally freak me out. What?

And why does that freak have pictures of my superheroes?

Why is he whispering? He freaks me out. Ugh.

Oh my god, why is he tying that girl to the bed? Ugh.

Whoa. She just had a major freakout.

Oh my god this is gonna be epic!!!!! And possibly the longest review of the season, guys. Beware.

And Kirsten still isn’t a regular? What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Elbert Hubbard: “No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” WORD!!! I had a few days off during Rosh Hashana and when I came back to work I was so disoriented I was like, dude, I need a vacation.

And oh my god, the resort Derek told Elle about is in Jamaica? Wow. He has some good friends, man.

God that water is gorgeous. No wonder the Caribbean is such a touristy spot. I mean, I prefer dirty cities with winds and snows and rain, but I get it.

And oh my god, those are some fresh young hotties. I’m talking of course about Elle and Derek in bathing suits. Holy shit. That is the hottest sight ever.

I’m usually not one for tattoos, but oh my god Shemar’s body is a monument of hotness. Fuck. I want to lick those abs so much.

Wait. Hold the presses. And I can’t believe I’m saying this because I am currently watching scenes of Shemar shirtless and I am the last woman to ever complain about that, but is Jane fucking Lynch in this episode? As what exactly? Yay!!! I’m happy.

Now let’s go back to drooling over Shemar’s flawless delicious succulent chocolate planes.

Lord, Shemar flirting is just illegal. Fuck. Oh my goodness.

Holy shit! I love that guy!!!!! The guy flirting with Elle, oh my god I know him, I have no fucking idea what his name is, but he is one hot specimen, and I love this episode so much for giving me so much eye candy. Yay!

Aw, homey Aaron! So cute! Oh my god, Aaron was pirate number four in Pirates of Penzance hahaha I’m loving this so much.

Wait. Gideon can cook? Oh my god, that is so amazing! He’s making something very fancy, he’s making fucking garlic bread and he has a wine bottle ready to be popped. I want to marry you, Gideon. But obviously you have a lady friend coming over, for whom you are so diligently preparing this delicious meal, so I’ll let you get back to it.

Aww!!!! How does Penelope Garcia spend her weekend off? Gaming! Oh my god, this episode just turned into one of my favorites, holy shit.

“Why can’t guys in the real world be like that?” I agree, Penelope.

“He is not fictional. He is the online alter ego of a real person.” I love you, peaches.

“Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his undivided attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When’s the last time you had a date go that well?” “See if he’s got a fictional brother, all right?” oh JJ, you are precious.

Wait. No way! Jane Lynch is Spencer’s mom who is locked up in a nuthouse in Nevada? Oh my poor pretty boy, I love you so much.

So she’s very well-educated, yet schizophrenic, and Spencer sends her daily handwritten letters? Oh my god, I just fell in love with his character all over again.

Whoa, she’s a professor for fifteenth century literature? Oh my god, her character is so amazing. I love literature from that era and I just can’t believe how amazing this show is.

So he came all the way and can’t face her? Oh baby.

Oh hot damn, that dancing scene is hot hot hot! Elle looks so happy! I love her! Oh shit, Derek sweaty and dancing is too hot.

Oh shit. I’m getting so turned on here hahaha

Aww Aaron and Hayley met when he stumbled into the theatre department and joined the theatre group just to be with her! Oh my god he is the most romantic guy ever and I love him!

Aww it’s so nice to see Gideon so in love! It’s just such a contrast and I love it.

Okay, I never thought I’d see post-coital Hotchner and it is doing things to me. Seriously.

And who the fuck calls in the middle of the night?

First victims? It’s the whisperer from the beginning ugh.

The youngest holds the key? You must help him save her? What the fuck?

Why is the resort manager getting an anonymous call in the middle of the night that requires him to call the cops? I’m so confused here. Oh they reported a murder in a room? Oh damn.

Wait. Someone hacked into Penelope’s laptop? That doesn’t seem right. What the fuck? What does “All Work No Play” mean here?

Game over? What? Oh hell now!

Someone hacked into the FBI tech analyst computers? Oh no.

Wait, they’re now haunting Gideon too? Oh goodness me.

Whoa, those are blood stains on the walls.

He’s been delivered a package? That’s seriously frightening.

“Save her.” Save who?

Oh shit! That’s a fucking head! That’s a fuckin human head! What the fuck?

Hey! Hey! Whoa!!!!! Why are they attacking Elle? And why are they arresting her? What the fuck is going on here?

I love you Elle! I love you so much! And you, Mr. Jamaica PD detective, are seriously not doing yourself any favors pissing off a woman you just dragged out of bed in the middle of the night.

“Where’s the victim’s head?” “Well, I must have dropped it on my way in here, come on!” haha I love you. “I’m here on vacation, man!”

What the fuck? It’s always the same phrase. What the fuck is going on here?

Frank Giles. Got it.

Oh hell, Derek breaking down doors, yummy.

Whoa, Penelope just went apeshit on the computer systems, I love you so much baby but tone it down, okay?

“You just wait till I’m through with you!” oh shit, I’ve never seen her mad.

Did she just tell Morgan no?

“The information super highway is closed.” Uh oh.

“Someone had the nerve to run a blackhat op into my computers, Morgan. They hacked me, ok? But you can bet your sweet ass I will find them. I’ve got honey pot farms hidden behind uml kernel data packets and a first generation honeynet I personally programmed. My snort logs list every visitor, every server request, every keystroke on this entire network. If I have to back-hack his IP all the way to the frickin’ stone age, I will find this son of a bitch, ok? So bye.” Oh my god, I love you Penelope, you are my goddess.

Oh my god Morgan’s confused face is everything.

So the head Gideon got belongs to the body that was found in Jamaica with Elle and Morgan? Damn.

Thank goodness Hotchner is here.

A dead butterfly? What?

So this guy is a complete psycho? Oh god.

Oh god, this is absolutely dreadful.

Oh honey, she used the wireless internet and he got into her laptop oh dear lord, the poor thing.

Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. Is that a sword sticking out of ohis fucking chest? Shit. And that’s Frank Giles. Oh my goodness.

“Here thy quest doth truly begin” oh my god.

Shit.

“To learn of what should next be done, leave the blade ‘til the hour be none.” What the actual fuck?

Hey Reid! I love you, but you poor puppy.

“Reid, do not go away ever again.” I love you too, Elle.

Yup, this is totally Indiana Jones, except that you need to find the fucking killer not the fucking treasure. Unless those two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Ooh yeah, now Reid gets to use his key.

Oh kay? This is creepy. Why the fuck does he give them a music box as a clue.

“Never would it be night, but always clear day to any man’s sight.” What the fuck does that even mean?

What? A DVD with a girl’s lock of hair tied to it? God, this guy is sick to the bone.

Okay, so that guy creeps me out to no end. And the rules of the game are that they cannot use outside help beyond the original seven? Well, that is really helpful, dick.

What the fuck? He sent someone to Hotch’s place? And he could’ve hurt Hayley and Jack! What?!

What the fuck does that piece of paper mean? What, is it like the whole word-line-page numbers form a book? Oh lord. This is gonna be a heavy one.

Why did Gideon have JJ talk to the press if the guy clearly told them not to go to anyone? Oh boy. He’s playing with fire.

Oh my goodness, groggy Elle is the cutest thing ever! She’s so adorable!

Didn’t Hotch tell that agent to escort her home? Why is Elle alone there?

Oh shit! He’s in her house! Oh my god.

SERIOUSLY? They’re gonna stop the last episode of the fucking season on a cliff hanger where you see someone pointing a gun at Elle, the screen goes black and you hear a gunshot? YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you so much, but what the fuck are they doing to all of my feelings?????

I know I should be writing my opinions on the season, but I’m so caught up that, with your permission, I’m going to just put this here and hurry on to the first episode of season 2, ok? See ya.

[killemall1989]

All of the flowers!!!

well shucks if u insistDAISY: How old were you when you had your first kiss?i was 7 issa living

CARNATION: If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?fuuuucc either tyler the creator or declan mckenna

JASMINE: What color looks best on you?black (hes a goth bitch)

FOXGLOVE: Name three facts about your family?1. doesnt function well2. everyones sad3. doesnt function well

ALLIUM: What’s the best thing you can cook?chicken fettucini alfredo ??? probably. i am more of a baker,,

ORANGE BLOSSOM: If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?nah wtf thats weird dude

CALLA LILY: If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?born again by josh garrels ???? idk man an instrumental of a song def though

POINSETTIA: Favourite holiday dish?gingerbread does that count idk

OXLIP: Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?i mean i have in the past so probably yeah. if the feelings are there and strong.

PRIMROSE: Favourite kind of soup?dumpling soup

DAFFODIL: What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?a guitar probably

ROSE: Are you currently in love with someone?yeah and it sucks like dont do it

AMSONIA: Would you ever become a vegan?im a vegetarian lmao so yeah if i could manage without dying,, i was vegan before but i couldnt swallow the vitamins my weak body required

PEONY: What’s your favourite hot beverage?german chocolate mocha binch

TULIP: For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?cheesecake

MYRTLE: Do you like going on airplanes?i like airports but not airplanes

HIBISCUS: Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?i play a few ya. as previously mentioned, guitar. violin, which is my favorite. ukulele. kalimba. bass guitar. and i dabble in like… most others

ZINNIA: Who was your best friend when you were six years old?that same girl i kissed when i was 7

POPPY: What color was your childhood home?v faded blue

HYDRANGEA: Starbucks order?none…

VIOLET: Do you like where you’re from?no i dont im from alaska which fuckin SUCKS its the most boring place ive ever been plus its part of america and… dont? get me started?

LOCUST: What was your favourite book as a child?where the sidewalk ends by shel silverstein

RHODODENDRON: What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had?ooooh boy okay here’s this nightmare i had when i was like seven.so i was at this weird famous landmark (idk it doesnt exist irl); it was a castle and there was a bridge leading to it, but the piece of bridge that was connected to the castle had collapsed long ago. so you could only walk on the bridge, entry into the castle was not permitted as it was sort of in ruins. all that was rly intact was a tower. but anyways there were a bunch of tourists there on the bridhe, and i got lost in the crowd. seperated from my family. so i was like? where is my brother? cause he’s a couple years younger than me and i worry about him. and i heard a cry from that tower, so i freaked out cause it sounded just like him. well i being a delinquent make my way off the bridge and run through the shallow waters to the tower, trying to find him. the towers all stairs so i climb them, and when i finally reach the top it’s just this fucking torture tower and i’m like OH NO. and my brother isn’t there so i’m like OH NO. and i look around and realize there’s a woman in some gown that’s clearly from the same era as this castle. it’s all torn up and stained and such. but she looks young - like 20? so nothing makes sense. she notices me when i stare, and looks at me, and drops what i then notice is a knife she was cleaning. so i freak out and can’t breathe but she keeps staring at me and i’m like wow i’m really gonna die. and then she just starts smiling and she’s like “run.” and i can’t move and i’m worried about where the hell my brother actually is and i don’t run. so she starts screaming RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! as she walks towards me and i finally get my legs to work and i run, downt the stairs, out of the tower, through the water, and she’s just walking after me, and i’m crying from fear, and i start running through the crowded bridge again trying to get help but no one will listen, and i turn around and see her in the crowd but no one else does, and i run again, and i trip, and she catches up to me and kneels down beside me and she’s like “not fast enough.” and i wake up then, and i’m actually crying, even though it was just a nightmare. but i can’t move. cause i have fucking sleep paralysis. and i start panicking. and i look to my bedroom door. and she’s fucking standing there with that cocky smile. and i think i’m screaming but no sounds coming out. and she’s just there.this nightmare reoccured at least ten times over the course of a year and each time i woke up with sleep paralysis and i saw her in my doorway.

QUEEN ANNE’S LACE: Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?wrap presents, i love wrapping presents.

MAGNOLIA: Favourite kind of candy?starbursts 500%

ASTER: Would you rather be cold or hot?coldcoldcold i hate being hot like what can i do abt that nothing i wanna be cold gimme blankets

MARIGOLD: Do you listen to what’s on the radio?yes ofc like im not gonna listen to humble

HELICONIA: Do you like when it rains?yes sometimes

AZALEA: What’s a movie you cried while watching?one of the trillion movies ive watched that made me cry was comet that movie turns me into a bitch baby cuz i really relate to a character in it aha

DANDELION: Do you think you’re important?sometimes i do other times not so much

[danmacrae]

Silly 90s Intro Blab: A Thing To Skim Through On The Toilet

Hello! I’m semi-tolerable nuisance Dan MacRae! Why am I shouting at you? Not sure! Sorry, I’ll take it down a notch.

Instead of learning how to pleasure a woman or how to unlock the mysteries of grooming, I have devoted my life to TV nonsense. Blessed YouTube presence RwDt09 has been collecting these amazing compilations of era (and sometimes season) specific TV intros and they are my everything. Imagine having a child that didn’t suck? That’s the feeling RwDt09′s videos put in my heart.

I've been obsessively rewatching this collection of mostly forgotten early '90s TV intros. The bulk of these shows died a quick death and feel like the product of whatever drugs TV execs take. (Probably something snorted from one of those awesome McDonalds coffee straws they ditched in like 2002.) Because I'm a handsome pin-up hunk of the year, I wrote some dumb blurbs about the first few shows and have some stray thoughts on the rest. This appeals to no one but me AND I APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE!

In the immortal words of John Lennon, let’s get biz-zay!

DINOSAURS: I’m at a point in my life where I can acknowledge that Dinosaurs sucked. It’s incredibly freeing. Christ, this is like that stupid-ass Norman Lear show where dogs did social commentary BUT WITH HENSON PUPPETS! I hope Baby Sinclair was stomped to death and eaten as pudding before the extinction series finale. (Yes, that happened.) The intro isn’t bad, mind you. You get the lumbering theme song and Earl gets stuck in a door CUZ LAFFS! TIMES SURE HAVEN’T CHANGED HO HO HO! God I hate these fucking dinosaurs.

Intro MVP: It’s not a stellar pack, but we get a bit of Robbie Sinclair who census data has shown led to a variety of surprising sexual awakenings for youths at the time.

SCORCH: A 1300-year-old dragon named Scorch visits the 1990s on a budget that looks not far removed from Skank on The Ben Stiller Show. The song will make you want to barricade your sex organs from a world where you can bring children into a world with THAT CAWAZZZY SCORCH! The theme song really is a special brand of irritating and Scorch looks like a malformed Deviant Art dildo with a vaguely religious bent.

Intro MVP: Probably John O’Hurley for not actually appearing in the intro. (Even with O’Hurley’s weird résumé.)

FISH POLICE: Not to be confused with the (ARF! ARF! ARF!) Dog Police, Fish Police and Family Dog are shows I know almost exclusively from being mentioned as examples of the crappy post-Simpsons primetime animation gold rush. Fish Police actually looks good animation-wise, but it’s pretty clear you’re gonna be sledgehammered with endless “COULD YOU IMAGINE FISH DOING THESE OLD TROPES? DO WE NEED TO CALL A SEARCH PARTY FOR YOUR SIDES? ARE THEY SPLITTING ALREADY?” jokes. Congrats dipshits, you made a cinema-touched precursor to Frankie & George. You dummies. Also there’s the tone of casual racism UNDER THE SEA so do with that what you will. DID YOU SEE CHINATOWN? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Intro MVP: Thank goodness they specified who John Ritter voices so we could all bask in Inspector Gil as a character name. Fuck you, Fish Police.

CAPITOL CRITTERS: Christ, this looks UNWATCHABLE. Like walk into oncoming traffic as an alternative unwatchable. Capitol Critters centers around an animated mouse named Max (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) witnesses his family being murdered in Nebraska and moves to D.C. and wait what the fuck is going on with those roaches? (Racism, mostly.) Who thought this was a good idea to invest time, money and animator joint damage in? Stephen Bochco, baby! I have a perverse curiosity to see an episode but after 90 seconds I know I'd be dying to eat a fucking gun instead of suffering through any more of Capitol Critters.

Intro MVP: Gotta be Bochco. Also, EAT SHIT BOCHCO!

And now a really tiny blab about the rest. Watch this clip package, ya goofs!

FAMILY DOG: Folks were fucking horny for Spielberg TV shit in the 90s, ditto Tim Burton too and that's how an Amazing Stories, uh, story was morphed into a shitball TV series that Brad Bird wanted no part of. Also, I have no idea how to explain things like the CBS StereoSound chyron to anyone born after Clinton left office.

THE CRITIC: Nice to see you, Jay Sherman! This is a lovely intro and you likely know that already. I've done a few rewatches of The Critic (not the web series season, though) and I say the show definitely holds up and is far from a duketastrophe. That said, some of the parody film clips that got raves at the time are kinda creaky in hindsight.

CHARLIE HOOVER: Can I say something? Fuck Sam Kinison. Hmm... That's a bit harsh. I guess I just don't get him on any level. The only thing he's done that I've ever found all that funny was when he said he wished Andrew Dice Clay die of stomach cancer from the inside out, like Bette Davis. Kinison's not my cup of tea is what I'm getting at. In Charlie Hoover (GET IT HURF HURF), Kinison is a foot high loudmouth in a long coat that's getting 40-year-old square Tim Matheson where he needs to be in life.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN: Or... "Betty Spaghetti's Here Which Is All The Star Power You Need!"

HARDBALL: A League Of Their Own had a fun, feel good intro with all the corny touches of ol' timey baseball. Hardball tries to sell you on Joe Rogan: Baseball Fella and the vague scent of urinal troughs.

GOOD GRIEF: Howie Mandel golfs in a cemetery and it's not particularly clear if he's just fucking around on strangers graves for fun. (Alternate Theory: Those graves belong to the family from Bobby's World. All the Generics!)

THE FANELLI BOYS: If enjoy broad Italian-American stereotypes to the point of falling down laughing at the sight of a pizza box, you'll love The Fanelli Boys! Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni both star.

SOMETHING WILDER: Something Wilder was the sort of show where I wished Gene Wilder well and still kept 5000 miles away from watching it. Also, Wilder's face on that house is CHILLING.

DUDLEY: Embrace the luxury hotel elevator elegance of Dudley! Does it feature Dudley Moore make a series of faces where he seems surprised by everything? You better believe it. This was also where Max Wright got work in-between taking abuse from a cat eating alien and Norm Macdonald.

CAROL & COMPANY: It's a bit Carol Takes On in the intro with Carol Burnett in assorted costumes and that's alright because everyone does the assorted costumes intro thing. Tickets to the show are blown across America and get in the hands of whatever Orphan Black Carol happens to be in the area.

THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: This is an extremely 90s sort of intro that feels like something more upscale soft rock stations did in TV ads at the time too. Richard Kind directs a bit of paper at someone midway through.

DREXELL'S CLASS: One of more storied entries in the Dabney Coleman being an asshole catalogue. The first intro features Dabney, ol' Drex himself, just hanging around in class being hot shit and occasionally mimicking a flying dinosaur. The second intro is a more traditional clip collection highlighted by a young Brittany Murphy (WHO WAS MURDERED! FACT! REMINDER!) and Coleman in a wild 8 ball jacket. Rembrandt off Sliders also makes an appearance.

TEECH: If this intro looks exactly like a sitcom where a Cool Black Music Instructor™ teaches Prep School bad boys in Bush Sr era America that's because it is exactly that sort of sitcom. Maggie Han deserves better.

THE ROYAL FAMILY: It seems extra cruel to take Redd Foxx's popcorn away considering he'd be dead before the fifth episode even aired. Della Reese is in this, die-hard Della fans.

ROC: This intro works perfectly. We get Charles S. Dutton, Ella Joyce and an easy to digest Jerry Lawson theme song. (En Vogue would do the theme later.) It’d be nice if they could get Edgar Allan Poe wagging a finger at seafood or something else in the background to push that Baltimore thing even more, but I still wish this intro from 25+ year old Fox comedy all the best in its future endeavours.

BREWSTER PLACE: Speaking of good intros, Brewster Place is a first rate brand of TV welcome. Brenda Pressley is the MVP of the intro over Oprah Winfrey which might explain why Brenda Pressley has been missing since 1992. (I know she’s on The Path. Just play along.)

SUNDAY BEST: The intro equivalent of getting someone to throw shit at a wall, we get an early 90s NBC grab bag of fuck it whatever shots of TVs and TV dinners with poor Carl Reiner trotted out partway through.

AMERICAN CHRONICLES: Mark Frost and David Lynch paired for a documentary series in the early ‘90s on Fox because Fox was like fucking UHF at the time. The industrial strength creepy opening doesn’t include any shots of narrator Richard Dreyfuss turning towards the camera and that’s a damn shame.

AMERICAN DETECTIVES: If you get horny for stressed out real-life detectives, this will send your undergarments to Mars! Lots of mustaches here. A whole Safeway bag’s worth. Some real rural gas station rock going on with that theme tune.

FBI: THE UNTOLD STORIES: The tone of this entire intro is: “Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Or twenty?” Creepy music blasting over Jackie Kennedy on the back of JFK’s death limo and Wayne Williams heading to trial equals primetime party fun!

ENCOUNTERS: THE HIDDEN TRUTH: Suck it, Sightings! Encounters is leading a new dawn for crackpot horseshit to eat Bugles to! I appreciate the shameless X-Files knockoff intro thing Fox is doing (cuz it’s their show) that comes complete with head shop blanket alien head popping up midway through.

STEPHEN KING’S GOLDEN YEARS: Essentially Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with one hell of a music rights win tacked on.

TRIBECA: This opening reminds me an awful lot of terrible movies I was bullied into watching on VHS at a friend’s house.

WIOU: One thing I like in a TV intro is when something fun happens with the title onscreen. It’s a minor thing, but the way those WIOU letters turn into view? HOOCHIE MAMA! Eight is Enough’s Dick Van Patten does a fantastic job of conveying that being a weatherfellow is tough work.

GABRIEL’S FIRE: I will never for the life of me understand how the early ‘90s could not sustain a James Earl Jones fronted program titled Gabriel’s Fire. Those worlds are supposed to meld beautifully.

PROS & CONS: Gabriel’s Fire would morph into the more lighthearted Pros & Cons which symbolized its new form by laying it on thick with the Video Toaster touches. Instead of James Earl Jones peering at you from the darkness, this go-around it’s a lot of smiles and silly moments with Richard Crenna.

BURKE’S LAW: Hearing “it’s Burke’s Law” at the start of that intro is like when “Do you smell what The Rock’s cooking?” would play before Dwayne Johnson would wander down a ramp to kick Triple H in the stomach. In this case, it’s to get you fired up that Gene Barry’s back on television. This particular episode promises Dom DeLuise and Tawny Kitaen together at last!

MAX MONROE: LOOSE CANNON: If you only see one intro for a Shadoe Stevens vehicle that transitions from a Donut Hole shot to an extended leer at a lady’s bum, make it this one!

TEQUILA AND BONETTI: The creators of Tequila and Bonetti know that if you want folks to get on board for an L.A. dramedy about a New York cop and streetwise police partner dog, you should kick things off by trying to make you feel sorry for this asshole who “accidentally” murdered a kid. Seriously, that’s the route Tequila and Bonetti goes with this fucking insane opening that begins with newspaper headlines screaming “COP KILLS 12 YR OLD” while he cradles a black girl in her arms and then BOOM! we’re spun around to JACK SCALIA GRINNING AROUND WACKY LOS ANGELES AND ALL ITS CRAZY CHARACTERS LIKE A DOG THAT JUMPS THROUGH A FUCKING WINDOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS LIKE IF SOMEONE STROKED OFF THE HANNITY VIEWING AND KEPT WHAT WAS SPURTED OUT ONSCREEN! It’s just a really, really, really bad intro.

[littlekatlizzy]

IM SO LATE IM SORRY BUT AHAHA ALL OF THEM. For the EXO and cafe asks. ALL OF THEM. Have fun 💕

Thats over a houndred......Okay!

Exo asks:1: Whats your favourite album? : Exology chapter 1: The lost planet2: Favourite title song? : For life3: Best Era?: OVERDOSE4: Favourite b-side song?: Playboy5: Who’s your bias?: .......KimJongKai6: Who’s your bias wrecker?: Byun Baekhyun7: Favourite choreo?: Christmas Day or The star tbh8: Favourite MV?: Call me baby9: Favourite EXO Showtime episode?: CHANYEOLS BIRTHDAY 10: EXO K or EXO M?:  EXO.11: OT12 or OT9?: OT12 forever12: Dance line or Vocal line?: ....EXO.13: Vocal line or Rap line?: *sweats nervously* EXO?14: Favourite vocalist?: probably Jongdae15: Favourite dancer?: UHM KAI??? And Luhan tho16: Favourite rapper?: Chanyeol17: EXO first Box or EXO second box?: Second box18: Miracles in December or Sing for you?: Sing for you19: Wolf or Growl?: Growl20: Is EXO your bias group: Yep21: MAMA superpowers or WOLF werewolves?: MAMA22: Favourite Friendship?: Kai&Luhan and Lay&Luhan23: Favourite ship?: Chanbaek all the way24: Favourite China-line member?: Luhan25: Aegyo Xiumin or Abs Xiumin?: Aegyo Xiu26: Do you own the EXO Lightstick?: Nope27: Lucky one or Monster?: Monster28: XOXO or EXODUS?: EXODUS29: EXODUS or EX’ACT?: EXODUS30: Favourite OT12 moment?: The one where they were at the beach in EXO Showtime31: Call me baby or Love me right?: Call me baby32: Favourite EXODUS song?: HURT33: Favourite Beagle-line member?: Byun Baek34: Favourite EXO Superpower?: Telekinesis (Luhan)35: As vocalists, Luhan or Chen?: Chen36: Drop that or Lightsaber?: (*is a starwars fan*) LIGHTSABER37: EXOLU’XION or The lost Planet?: THE LOST PLANET OMG38: How long did it take you to learn all their names?: .....excluding real names maybe 2 days?39: Favourite ballad?: Promise40: El Dorado or Black Pearl?: Black Pearl41: Least favourite ship?: uhhhhh...idk...KrisKai? Is that a thing?42: Kai or Jongin?: OH BOI Jongin of course c:43: Favourite EXOMENTARY Video?: BOWLING44: Favourite EXO-K Member?: Kai45: Favourite EXO-M Member? Luhan46: As vocalists, D.O or Baekhyun?: D.O47: As rappers, Sehun or Tao?: Uffffff.....Tao?48: Do you actually like wolf?: Depends on my mood49: Favourite OTP moment?: That one time when Sehun made Chanbaek hug during a concert :,)50: Have you ever seen EXO live?: Yeah! Live on V-Live...ahaha...51: Moment that made you cry?: Promise live performances where EXO cries :,)52: Most handsome member?: ......KIMJONGIN53: Do you still watch EXO Showtime occasionally?: Not really don’t wanna cry54: Cutest Member?: ZHANG YIXING55: First Bias?: Kai56: Favourite XOXO song?: Don’t go57: Favourite Baekhyun era?: Call me baby/Exodus era58: Satansoo or Squishysoo?: Satansoo cuz he’s ma bro59: Xiuhan or HunHan?: Xiuhan60: Favourite EXO Photocard: idk tbh61:Sehun’s eyebrows or Sehun’s legs?: Legs62: Favourite EXO pet?: Monggu, Jjangu and Jjangah63: Hyung-line or Maknae line?: EXO64: Favourite EXODUS song?: still Hurt65: Favourite movie with an EXO member in it?: Pure love with D.O66: How did you get into EXO?: Through friends67: Mom!Suho or Sexy!Suho?: Suho68: Promise or Heaven?: Heaven because this doesn’t make me cry69: Tao’s Z.Tao or Luhans Reloaded?: (I’m a Luhoe sorry Tao) Reloaded70: Favourite EX’ACT song?:  White noise, Artificial love & Heaven71: Xiumin bun or Luhan bun?: Xiubun72: Have you ever not liked a member?: I had a love-hate relationship with Kai for w long time73: Favourite Chen solo song?: Lucky!!!74: Baekyeol or Baekyeon?: :)))) BAEKYEOL75: Cold city gguy Kris or dorky Kris?: Dorky papa pls76: Favourite EXO cover song?: Does Chenbaeks ‘I really didn’t know’ count?77: Did you cry when listening to Promise?: still do78: EXO song that you do not like?: uhmmm... What is Love I think?79: Favourite couple talk (from exo first box)?: I dunno80: Favourite Kai era?: Overdose81: As dancers, Kai, Sehun or Lay?: Kai82: Baekhyun(ft.Suzy) Dream or Baekhyun8ft K.Will) The day?: Dream83: Favourite EXO Member IG account?: Baekhyun84: Favourite Awardshow performance?: I liked a lot so idk85: If you could get any of the MIC gifts, what would you get?: Chanyeols ring86: Kaisoo or TaeKai?: Both af87: Favourite Chanyeol gif?: Idk 88: MAMA or History?: MAMA89: Favourite lyrics?: You even liked my clumsy moments. But I wonder if I even deserve that love(Promise)90: Favourite Suho Era?: EX’ACT91: Red haired D.O yes or no?: HELL TO THE YES92: Favourite Chanyeol rap?: Black Pearl93: Favourite Fanfiction?: Read too many but probably I Give Up by @soobadnoonecanstopher94: Lay’s go fighting or Luhan’s Running Man?: Go fighting is one of my fave shows not gonna lie95: Pathcodes or Wolf Drama?: Pathcodes96: Taohun or Taoris?: Taoris97: EXO Showtime or EXO next door?: Showtime98: Most significant song for you?: Don’t go99: Who are your top 3 Members?: Kai, Luhan, Baekhyun100: Why do you like EXO?: Exo (Korean: 엑소; stylized as EXO) is a South Korean-Chinese boy group based in Seoul. Formed by S.M. Entertainment in 2011, the group debuted in 2012 with twelve members separated into two subgro-

CAFE ASKSVanilla Chai Latte: Are you in love?: Not really?Flat White: Coffe or tea?: bothCappuccino: What’s your middle name?: don’t have oneMocha: Dream Job?: No idea actuallyPumpkin spice: Dream Car?: Don’t have oneJasmine Tea: If you could go anywhere in the world, where and why?: Japan because I love animeOld english: You’re stranded on an island, who comes along?: My Phone so that I can have everyone somewhat with meIced chocolate: Do you have a crush on someone?: YeahCaramel Frappe: Favourite videogame?: Kingdom  HeartsIced Lemon Tea: Favourite Song/Band?: EXO & Don’t goIced Cafe Mocha: Favourite thing to do on rainy days?: Sleep and readHot chocolate: Are you an affectionate person?: sometimesCaramel Macchiato: You’re traveling the entire world but you can only take one person with you, who?: I don’t knowGreen Tea: How tall are you?: 5′1...Earl Grey Tea: The Zombie Apocalypse is coming! Wha’ts your plan?:Mint Tea: How do you relax?: I’m the first to die probsVanilla Latte: Board games or drinking games?: Video gamesIced coffee: Do you like reading, if so, which book is your favourite?: Milk&Honey by Rupi KaurItalian soda: Describe your dream date: A dateSparkling water: Describe what qualities you look for in a person: Accepting, nice, laid back, soft voice and gentle smilesOrange juice: Have you ever had a Valentine?: @bts-exo-seouls Rose Hip Tea: describe your first kiss: Yet to comeHerbal Tea: You’re at a candle shop, what candle do you buy?: If it smells and looks good, mine.

PS: Fuck you Sam my eyes burn