#which is far easier to do amyway than throwing it at someone specific | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

raksh-writes · 3 years ago

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Vent/rant here, yet again. Under the cut, cause its ugly. I'm just throwing away my thoughts and feelings, so if you're still reading this, absolutely feel free to skip this for your own mental health ❤

So, I have written like 500 word of a conclusion for my thesis, which for a thesis and my giving up wrists is quite a lot, and now Im rereading it and thinking I will have to delete it whole tomorrow and rewrite it again.

I'm.......

I get that rewriting a work like this is prob normal. But seeing as my wrists are getting fucked up in the process again, Im just-... really at the end of my rope and my sanity over here xd I wanted to finish up today but that's not happening. I'm leaving deleting this part and rewriting it for tomorrow. I am, yet again, too tempted to throw it all to hell and just be done with it. Just - done.

I'll go take my meds and finish this breakdown so I can go to sleep or something. Fuck this all to hell, honestly

#personal #the studying saga #negative thoughts #depressive thoughts #just me being all around miserable about my thesis so do absolutely skip this for your own mental health!#vent #rant #clogging the visible tags to not pur depressive shit on peoples dashes #yall dont deserve this amount of negativity and Im truly sorry #I very Very much appreciate y'all that reached out to me ❤#and told me I can mesage you - I appreciate it A Lot #but I gotta be honest and say I already feel bad enough putting this negative shit on my dash #which is far easier to do amyway than throwing it at someone specific #so its nothing against yall lovely people ❤#its my anxiety and fear of being a burden and hurting others and all that mental baggadge #at least if I throw it into the ether everyone can avoid it/blacklist/skip #and I still get to throw ir out #its just I dont feel close enough with anyone to throw this at them so this is where it lands #anyway I gotta go and process all this ugly at least somewhat so I can go back to this fucking thing tomorrow #I have a class in the morning Im sorerly tempted to skip alltogether #the hell on wheel continues I guess xd #I feel like it wouldnt be even half as bad if it was like next year or something #this is just really a combination of fucking everything and its too much xd #okay enough Im gonna go expel the ugly feelings one way or another #better not to let the fester more than they already do xd

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