#which is emotional and subjective
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keep fighting the good fight against this weird misconception that vik is somehow stoic and unemotional, bestie 🫡 cause idk where the hell people picked that up lol
thank you!!! fandom is always gonna fandom, reducing characters to two-dimensional tropes to make them mix-and-matchable. it's especially unfortunate when the characters we're given in Arcane are so rich and nuanced. the best antidote is to go back and rewatch the source material imo lol.
thanks for enjoying my tags also!! I used to write actual meta many years ago but at some point lost my nerve or lost the time. now it lives in the tags. I don't know many people in the jayvik fandom here, it seems mostly active on twitter, but I'm glad to be noticed by at least a couple people here :) your blog is great!!
#sorry i took so long to respond whoops#arcane#hexcoreviktor#jayvik#im also gonna add to this that when i see viktor portrayed with emotion it's usually anger which. to me also is ooc#like they show/write him yelling and being cranky or rude and i just. he only raises his voice like ONCE to someone in the show#and it's not even yelling.#it was 'absolutely not!' to mel's request about the weapons.#others have mentioned before that he's pacifist. and yeah. like he's not just fucking angry and rude to people.#he can be snarky and sassy and have dry humor but he's not angry all the time wtf??#he doesnt have some snap temper.#maybe you havent met a scientist with high standards or a perfectionist before but like. *waves*#stop writing viktor as an emotionless robot - it's literally part of his arc that in trying to remove the subjectivity of emotion#he goes even more emotionally bonkers in s2 lmao#but at the same time stop writing him like he's consistently impatient and pissed off at everyone and everything esp jayce#when jayce does kind things for him he's polite and grateful and appreciates it ffs#idk maybe it's because i relate to viktor a lot that i don't see why his personality is so hard to understand
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I have things I should be working on but I'm too busy wondering what a Low or High Kochanski would be like
#Does anyone know if there are any fics/posts about this concept? I probably just haven't run into them#Especially enamored by the idea of Low Kochanski. What would she be like?#Since- as established in The Inquisitor a few episodes beforehand- conceptions of morality/worth/etc. are emphasized as being subjective#that's how I've always approached the Lows: as manifestations of what *the characters* feared was the worst about themselves#shaped by social/cultural expectations#(that's probably why though I understand some people's discomfort towards the stereotypes Low Rimmer exhibits#I was less critical towards it because it says more about Rimmer's psyche than anything)#What would Kochanski see as the worst in herself?#I keep thinking about the tags someone left on the post about Kochanski perhaps feeling guilty about how her Dave changed for her#That mentioned the possibility of her going so far as to change Lister's peogram to align to her personality and her needs#I personally don't think she would do that. But! That doesn't mean that she hasn't thought about it. Maybe at some point in the beginning#So I'm leaning this manipulative Machiavellian sort of Low Kochanski. One that's coldly efficient and calculating#Which I think would suit the others well#The Lows of The Boys are sadistic animalistic primal#There's something chaotic to their immorality#I think Low Kochanski could stand in contrast to that. A member of the Low crew that is not driven by emotion. One that is ordered#And I think that would make her threatening in a different way#Anyways that's just my opinion :) Curious to hear what others think!#Red Dwarf#Kristine Kochanski#Original Post
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This was easily one of the best Lupin episodes
#there will be a rant in the tags that you can ignore#but it is so upsetting how modern/current lupin took away the depths of these characters and flimsily tries to restore their earlier depth#i'm one of those people who craves depth in what i watch and it's so difficult to like this franchise because it will be so close to doing#something interesting only to abandon it#this episode and part one as a whole was peak lupin in my opinion with each character having emotional depth yet flaws to overcome#yet modern lupin would have you believe that these characters don't desire to improve in any capacity#if we were to just focus on Goemon for example right here he shows depth with revealing hidden emotional maturity and empathy for Lupin by#comforting him and admitting he himself is afraid (which is a big deal for a character like him who is supposed to be unflinching)#but in modern lupin goemon will literally say that he's not afraid of anything and this is written without any hint of irony or depth#i'm okay with mindless entertainment and i understand that this is a series simply about stealing but the character assassination is so#disappointing#and when this series does try to be “deep” they pick the most triggering subject matter possible to depict to the point where it's#practically unwatchable (this is in reference to Part 4 and its constant SA plots as well as the rampant gratuitous child abuse plots#throughout the entire series)#i want so badly to love lupin the 3rd but it's a huge problem when fanfiction understands the characters better than the source material#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin the 3rd#goemon ishikawa xiii#goemon#arsene lupin iii#jigen daisuke#daisuke jigen#fujiko mine#part 1
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For the Spirits—Chapter III: Keep Your Plans
At the risk of feeling dumb, check in
It's not worth the risk of losing a friend
Even if they say:
“Just keep your plans, I hope
That you never have to drop
Anything for me.”
—At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb by Twenty One Pilots
.
Yume had to resist the urge to sigh. She already knew how this would go. All roads led to tea, Pai Sho, and no straight answers. If she could go back in time and reach out to her younger self, she’d warn the tired face in the mirror to enjoy Iroh’s company while he still made sense.
She cursed the Crew under her breath, doing her best to give the General a smile back or, at least, keep a straight face.
Why did I even say yes to this?
#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#new gods au#for the spirits#zutara#prince zuko#atla iroh#uncle iroh#zuko's crew#atla fic#atla fanfic#atla zuko#Spirit Touched! Zuko#Chapter III: Keep Your Plans#at the risk of feeling dumb#twenty one pilots#atla oc#iroh#The Crew#zutara fic#zutara au#For the Spirits Chapter Three AKA The One In Which Yume Is Tired™ And Iroh Does Not Help Matters#Okay but seriously#We all know this fic is a Zuko Angst Fest so everything about it must be centered around our boy's suffering#He has such a good support system but is utterly unaware of it#Hence the chapter lyrics#I hope you have a good time reading!#As always a little warning for heavy mental/emotional subjects. I wouldn't consider this fic to be a light reading so better be prepared.#Next chapter features a certain river spirit! Stay tuned!
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mommm white people on tumblr are misconstruing my posts again despite the post being entirely about how important wording is + how i don’t feel comfortable posting large statements when i haven’t fully processed them yet.
#if you want to put me on a blocklist for loving netanyahu you can! i don’t! and no matter how many times i get told i do#i still don’t!#i literally said i hope his balls get cut off IN THAT POST#i don’t know how that read as unclear.#perhaps there are no hidden genocidal messages behind the wording of my tumblr posts - who knows!#when i said i cared about every single civilian living in that land i meant it. if you decide that i actually don’t that’s not my problem#if you somehow took my words and decided that what i really meant is that i’m a government bootlicker who loves murder#you can do that all you want. it won’t make it true and it won’t help save any lives#i was in ramallah and jerusalem six months ago. have you gone?#if the answer is no maybe think about that for a second#moreover if you’re viewing this from a purely racial or religious framework you have no idea how to navigate this subject#i don’t view israel and palestine through which government i want to back. why the fuck would i do that#palestinians and jews and everyone else in that land is who i care about. i care about gazans#if that’s not enough of ‘a side’ for you i don’t really think there’s much of a conversation to be had.#do you think i wake up every day NOT thinking about gaza? do you think i wouldn’t feel nauseous every second of every day because of gaza?#do you think that within everything i’m saying that the most logical conclusion would be to post all of my thoughts on tumblr?#because if you think any of that we’re not going to have a productive conversation. i don’t take kindly to being told my own emotions
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I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing
#yrtalk#young royals#personal#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry#everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now#i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse#i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be#but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol#but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something#for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave#and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from#and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true#and i can't support people like that and take them seriously#i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well#but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch#and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard#with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame#but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so#and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows#but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't
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I do enjoy being friends with writers across different fields. I did, however, just recently end a long-term friendship I had with a freelance journalist/medium columnist. And because of how radically she misinterpreted our last few conversations there's a chance she thinks I did it because she's poly.
Which is. Oh my god. Not even the prologue to that story. But it would make a pretty engaging article, wouldn't it?
Anywho I'm hoping she won't be as petty as I feel like she might be, but since she wrote a Medium think piece after her last bad relationship there's a good chance she might write one about my perceived polyphobia. I'm imagining she won't name me? But holy shit if she does this I'm circumventing my don't argue online rule because holy SHIT.
#clove rants#i am not a poly expert#definitely didnt handle the situaition perfectly#but i am the one who begged her to put any research into how to navigate it ethically#i gave her the pdfs of two books on the subject#she read two chapters of one and now insists she knows more about being poly than her two partners#both of which have been in poly relationships before#haha it was a fucking mess and i could not provide the emotional labor she needed
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THE BEST OF GRISSOM ACADEMY
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, EDI, and Jack With: Flight Lt. Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Lt. James Vega, Ens. Jason Prangley, Ens. Rodriguez, David Archer, and Kahlee Sanders I never had a family- and these guys... Anyone screws with my students and I will tear them apart. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#james vega#sophie shepard#jeff joker moreau#EDI#jack#subject zero#david archer#kahlee sanders#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#grissom is literally my favorite side mission in ME3 so i was so excited to make this omg#it just has it all- good plot + solid witty one liners + an awesome bunch of characters + a nice emotional moment like#and it stars jack who’s like one of my favorite ME2 squaddies so ??? it’s just an all around iconic mission#EDI has so much good grissom dialogue too and she looks mighty cute in her lil hunter hood! 🥹#james has a few really good lines too but none of the ones i liked were in the cutscenes so it was sooo hard to get more of him in the set#i will say i forgot how much good jack dialogue there is in grissom like i just love and stan my girl so much#and now when i see her i think of saoirse and seamus every time like that’s THEIR GIRL KICKING ASS!! ✨✨#her lines with prangley and rodriguez are top notch too honestly#but honestly my favorite moment is still shep and EDI’s conversations with david#like EDI’s soft little ‘no apology is necessary’?#when david says ‘the number of days you lengthened my life’?#i tear up a little bit playing grissom every time bc overlord is the best ME2 dlc and you cannot change my mind#also soph once again eating in cleric’s fabulous guardian armors for shepard (which will always be famous✨)#like the shoulders?? the omni mark?? the set is just talented. brilliant. incredible. show-stopping. spectacular. beautiful. iconic.#and soph's usually rep'ing the purples/deep reddish pinks but did i make the omni mark blue so we could rep spectre alenko colors?#i’ll let you be the judge ✨
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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opening the group chat for the first time today and there's like 200 new messages because everyone's Going Through It today it seems but one of my friends dropped 'I'm separating from [terrible boyfriend she's been living with for like eight years] for real this time, I just moved a bunch of stuff to my parents' and I'm losing my mind because y'all the subject changed almost immediately HEY HI EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT???
#'I moved my stuff and my dog' can't leave the pup behind! 'I had to last winter and it was a big reason I wound up going back' HELLO--#was he holding your fucking dog over your head. I will kill the man?????#I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'S TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BEFORE??#I'm-- so-- okay listen. admittedly I am of course simply nosy. of course I am.#but also I have never liked david Ever. justin and I were LITERALLY talking DAYS ago about Worrying About Her being stuck with him#because she moved TO CALIFORNIA with him and he was being a piece of shit then and she had NOBODY out there#and now they're in denver and like. it's his house it's his money etc etc it's a really... logistically difficult situation#but at least she's made some friends in denver and convinced her parents to move out there so she's not COMPLETELY unsupported#like she was in CA#my point is: I'm nosey but I'm also INVESTED. I fucking hate this guy darling I've wanted you to leave him this entire goddamn time#she's talked *a little* about problems with him before but also we've been around him before and he's just generally awful#and it's. like. I'm so so so fucking glad you're moving in with your parents but also. genuinely are you OKAY--#MAN AND ALSO. EVEN IF IT WASN'T 'I HATE THIS GUY AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE BREAKING POINT WAS--'#THIS IS A SERIOUS LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP? IT ENDING IS A BIG DEAL REGARDLESS?? WHY DID WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO FAST HELLO#.... actually I've identified the source of my Wanting More Details#which is: hey babe are you in a phase of this where hearing about how much he fucking sucks shit would be upsetting or affirming.#because I wanna tell you how fucking happy I am that you're leaving him. because he's a piece of shit and you deserve better than that.#ARE YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL SPACE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I AM SCOOPING YOU INTO MY ARMS LIKE THE CAT SAMURAI MEME.#AND THREATENING THIS MAN WITH A SWORD. BECAUSE HE'S TERRIBLE. CAN I GET A VIBE CHECK THERE. SHOULD I WAIT--
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gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me
#gale of waterdeep#paydja plays baldur's gate#the relationship a lot of the companions have with their bodies is fucking fascinating#but gale and karlach's relation to their heart and to human contact is particularly compelling#i cant say who has it worse bc thats a stupid comparison to make when they both have hearts that could literally detonate at any moment#[ik that karlach cant do human contact at all and gale cant but im talking abt emotionally significant contact which is smth they share]#but rn im focusing on gale ill talk abt karlach later#hes so interesting like hes initially played as arrogant but i think that whole thing with mystra#really fucked him up bc he talks abt himself like hes. not a means to an end per se but u get the gist#you can see the way he talks abt sense and sensuality and emotional connection but as soon as you actually offer it via flirting or just#genuine compliments hes always surprised and always changes the subject#partially out of like. emotiona damage and partially bc he doesnt want to go boom#ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING IS hes in pain bc of the contact being made with the magic that makes up his heart but#by god please dont take your hand away. please dont stop touching him. please#i hate this fucking game i hate it so much#chattering#sorry for the analysis it WILL happen again#im talking abt gale rn bc hes my favourite and currently the character i know the most about via gameplay#but there is PLENTY i can say abt everyone#god i keep saying this but its like why are you so good sometimes and also so bad. fucking Larian.
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the only thing I'm grateful to Only Friends about at this stage is introducing me to Force and Book ~~
I will finish it because I want to support them but the glossing over the trauma and not allowing the growth of their characters has actually made me so sad??
Manifesting an excellent series that they're the main couple in next year, they deserve better. I kind of don't rlly understand the hate on them tho? Lots of actors have shitty series & characters (which I don't think is the case with them) and they're still liked? make it make sense plez
#Like some other actor pairs I wasn't impressed with#Even prior to finding ForceBook#but they're loved not hated so#srsly is it because they're older than other actors?#i want to fix the unfairness#it is like watching what happens to talented ppl daily??#bc they're not talented in the “right” way whatever that is#like talent is subjective anyway?#i often find other characters in ofs to be overreacted#like having set reactions to certain situations#very method acting i guess#but forcebook i don't feel like engage in that as much#not so much method which is not a bad thing at all imo#i haven't been able to take my eyes off of Mew the entire show#because i can see there's a lot more going on#Top too#But the others i kinda got it after a while ik what to expect#they're all v talent#but ik from singing that it's harder to play emotions that aren't sadness & anger#they're sooo much easier to hide behind and tend to look impressive#that's what i feel like is happening here#this feels personal ahhaha
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neighbor died yesterday morning.
barely knew her. talked to her last week. adored her but, again, barely knew her.
feel hollowed out thinking about her and looking at her house knowing it’s now empty. more empty than it has ever looked even between tenants.
#niece (who’s like fucking radical) offered to let me sit in her home or on her porch to process her loss#which is hyper kind but feels…like i would be intruding on the life of a woman i don’t and won’t actually ever know#what would i do just sit and take in her life passively?#ensure one last stranger got a chance to witness her Being? even post mortem?#i can’t gauge if thats like idiotically (and ultimately subjects) hyper romantizing reality that already have a super shakey handle on rn#or if its a genuine thing to do.#in the end it doesn’t meaningfully aid anyone in their grief and i don’t really feel entitled to wade around in my puddle of my own#no one is helped by me having my emotions about it#and my emotions skew dramatic anyway#this isn’t even about me
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i Need to write about princezam color theory but i havent even studied the fundamentals yet (watch every single s4 vod)
#mine.txt#very heavily subject to change due to lack of knowledge and forgetfulness but so far what what i got is#red; yellow; blue; purple; and green are the most prominent colors which are also the colors hes made up of lol#red - indecision; high emotion; hedonism; may signal self-destruction and/or distress due to intersections of the former#yellow - happiness; analysis of / the self (may be positive or negative)#blue - determination esp during uncertainty; moving forward#purple - obsequiousness; adherence; recursiveness#green - contentment; acceptance; isolation; single mindedness; independence#to be clear this is about both sign colors and skin colors#i Think???? hes used white and pink a couple times but not enough for it to be attached to any particular emotions#very heavy emphasis on the i think part cause i may be misremembering#green is the least prominent color among the five and has mostly been made prominent thanks to the joker arc and his s6 plans#cant wait for its meaning to change come season launch lol#hcs
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his brother died and one of his first thoughts were that it should’ve been him instead because now people are going to be disappointed…
#do you realise how fucked up this is#and francis and her husband wondering why he lied to them who he was made me so mad because you. you’re the problem. you and your family#family as in the phantomhives and the midfords but he lied to you because you made him feel like he was worthless as himself#but not lizzie ofc i love her she’s only a kid but she’s smarter than everybody in her family#and real ciel is a reanimated corpse but i don’t think he wants to fight his brother because he said his body won’t do as he says like that#scene has been engraved in my head for so long..#like real ciel cried when ciel told him he wanted to move and start his toy company because he would be away from his brother u can’t tell#me that if he wasn’t a reanimated corpse he would allow his brother to go to jail..#also like#that much trauma aside… he knows and accepts that he’s eventually going to get his soul eaten by a demon in exchange for revenge against#people who wronged him because his childhood was already stolen from him the moment the twins found out what happened to their parents i’m#so unwell…#and it would be the chance to kill off ‘the spare’ and be the ciel everyone wants#and he DID become the ciel everyone wanted but of course his own personality showed because he’s him..#and he’s just a kid too i’m actually getting a heart ache from my son’s character#the vulnerability he shows actually breaks my heart when something bad does happen but also i really like the closure??? of the emerald witc#arc i think that scene was very good..#theres only so much emotion you can bottle up :(#so i think that food scene in lau’s opium den was real as hell he deserves that lash out at the very least#they’ve wronged the twins so bad that it took away ciel’s childhood entirely but he’s STILL living on his dream with funtom all the while#pushing people like soma away from his business because he doesn’t want anything bad to befall them (which it DID but that’s the subject of#another essay it’s very late so i’m going to sleep goodnight)#anyways my point is#my son is the character ever and he’s so special to me#there’s so much more i want to say but i’ll write essays in my notes app and not here bye bye take care#kuroshitsuji
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tbh the thing abt coming into myself vis a vis gender is that there is the realization that, at least for the foreseeable future, there is a very tangible (and already very present) “limit” to how far i can take. any kind of transitioning.
#and rn that current limit is ‘i genuinely do not know if i even want to breach this subject with my family’#like etc etc dont need family approval for everything. however.#i cannot/will not cut them off cold turkey#and anything else will be just as hard to explain#and also ngl coming out as a lesbian felt like emotional and psychological warfare with just my mom#while knowing that a few other family members were talking shit behind the scenes#idk if i can handle the emotional/mental/psychological turmoil of being trans in my family lmao#i have in mind like. 1-3 cousins who might be chill.#but it is outweighed by the near perfect confidence i have in my family to mourn the girl lmao#which like. brings on some weird retroactive guilt for ‘not knowing’ earlier#(better terminology for me personally is actually changing/coming into this person but. semantics)#just bc not that it would be any easier at any other age#but like. not easier later either!#anyways like. if i specifically renege on lesbian too than i am also setting myself up for some fuckery#bc i had to fight years ago to prove i was a lesbian#and now tbh i really don’t identify with that label anymore. it’s kinda just easy for strangers.#anyways idk what any potential transitioning looks like i just want to be different ASKDJFJSJFJD#i have been feeling vaguely dysphoric sad lately which also brings on like. a billion other sad/guilty emotions.#but alas! i am also just sad posting bc it’s been a hard week lmao
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