#which is compounding with my lmk breakdown

[imminent-danger-came]

Having a breakdown over Chara being gone in undertale and Asriel being gone in deltarune. Like even across worlds they'll never be reunited

[pietrosskinnyjeans]

The one where you comfort him

It had been just under 2 months since the battle of Sokovia, when I had used my healing abilities to bring Pietro Maximoff back to life.  Before this, I had only healed mild wounds, cuts and sprains, so after the shock of realising I was able to resurrect, my god complex was at an all time high. Pietro and his sister weren’t all too fond of me to begin with, given the destruction my father’s weapons had brought upon their lives. However, they certainly warmed up to me after I saved Pietro. I’m not all that mad about it though, I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ enemies to lovers trope? I know this isn’t wholly appropriate to think, considering that he is my teammate and dating him would cause a plethora of issues. But, he’s a 6 foot tall, blue eyed boy with an 8 pack and a slavic accent, how could I not think about such things?

 Adjusting to American life as avengers hadn’t been easy for the twins, but I’d like to think that I was helpful as possible, introducing them to American traditions and assisting them in improving their English. Although, regardless of any of my actions, or any of the teams’, it was apparent Pietro wasn’t adjusting all that well. Wanda had mentioned to me he had quite a reputation in Sokovia, and was anything but introverted, yet here it appeared that he had completely retreated into his shell. I mean, can’t really blame him though, if I was resurrected I think I would have gone through a full scale mental breakdown, wondering whether my life had meaning, and whether I was meant to be revived in the first place. Oh, and he was also living with the person who invented the things which were responsible for his parents death, so that probably wasn't very fun. 

 Wanda had gone out to pick up the takeaway we were having for dinner with Natasha, Clint and Steve. Whilst it may have seemed a little excessive to bring 4 people to pick up takeaway to anyone else, you must be reminded how much food it takes to take to feed a team of ‘enhanced individuals’ as the government calls us. I mean, Pietro can eat 5 whole pizzas on his own without breaking a sweat. 

 Bruce and my dad were in the lab, so I went looking for my favourite wannabe Guy Fieri so I wasn’t standing around the compound by myself like a sad loner (I mean seriously, with that hair he could be a Vegas impersonator or something (perhaps a future career to pursue if this whole ‘avengers thing’ doesn’t work out??)). 

 I walked towards his bedroom and knocked lightly, not wanting to waltz into his room unannounced. He opened the door, the somber impression that was present on his face fading rather quickly, and was replaced by a false sense of content. 

 ‘Hey princeza, you want to come into my room?’ he said playfully, a small smirk forming on his lips. 

 ‘Sure I don’t mind, just wanted someone to talk to. Everyone is either in the lab or going to get food.’ I stated rather bluntly, butterflies appearing once I noticed how close he was to me. 

 He opened the door wider and gestured for me to enter his room. I entered and immediately noticed The Dick Van Dyke Show playing on his TV. ‘odd choice’ I thought to myself. 

 ‘Didn’t take you as someone who liked watching old American sitcoms, Pietro’ I said, chuckling slightly

 At my remark, his face dropped slightly, as he stared reminiscently at the TV. 

 I looked at him, and realised tears were beginning to well in his eyes. 

 ‘Are you ok?’ I asked, to which he cleared his throat and responded 

with ‘fine’  rather harshly. 

 Instinctively, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, to which he failed to shake off, and began to speak, starting to sense what the matter was. 

 ‘ Hey, I know you’ve had to be strong for the longest time. You’ve had to be there to protect your sister, comfort her, and suppress your own feelings in the process.  But listen to me when I say this, Piet, you don’t have to be so strong anymore. You no longer have to suppress all these emotions you feel. You have Clint, Nat, the whole team. I momentarily averted my gaze, before staring into his sapphire eyes once more. You have me. 

 Tears welled in his eyes, and I was quickly pulled into his chest. My heart ached for him as he clung to me tightly whilst sobbing. I began to lightly rub his back with one hand, and stroked his hair gently with the other, softly muttering ‘its ok, you're safe with me’. 

 I know, I know, it all seems very cringe worthy. But honestly, I was just proud that I wasn’t laughing. You see, I'm not all that good at comforting others. 

 After a moment, he sniffled and gently pulled away, eyes puffy. 

I smiled gently at him, and stroked his cheek, in an attempt to provide some comfort. 

‘I'll be there to listen if you want to talk. No matter what time it is, where we are, come and find me. To remind you that after everything that has happened, you’re finally safe. And, whilst the events of the past cannot be erased, to remind you that you’re going to be ok. Because you don’t have to suffer alone anymore.’ 

‘Princeza, that sounds like something in one of those stupid American movies’ He said, laughing heartily whilst wiping his tears. 

‘I was trying to be comforting!!’ I exclaimed, my smile mirroring his

‘Yes, well, maybe don't do that again, because it was really, really bad’ He chuckled once more before seeing a slight pout evident on my lips, following up his previous remark with a ‘ok, ok  I am joking.. It was pretty cute.’ 

“Aha! I knew it!!’ I shouted, whilst playfully slapping his arm

We were silent for a moment, before he moved himself closer to me and shifted his gaze from my eyes to my lips ( which honestly made me feel like I was about to have a goddamn heart attack ). He continued to close the distance between us, and placed a passionate yet gentle kiss on my lips. 

He pulled away, and noticed my visibly shocked impression (honestly, at this moment I was just thinking how dead I was gonna be when my dad found out. But also like !!! he kissed me!! )

‘What? You didn’t see that coming?’ He said playfully

 ‘You know, you really need to get a new catchphrase. Because that one, is absolutely horrible.’ I said, before I leaned in for another kiss.

 Note: So i’ve never rlly written anything before so this is probably not the best. But, I was bored and didn’t want to study so here we are. Lmk if there are any ways I can improve !!

[ughseoks-main]

left behind

peter parker x reader

summary: you begin to feel neglected when peter parker is introduced to the avenger family, and you’ve had enough of it.

“I just don’t wanna be left behind.”

word count: 3.9k

warnings: just some angst & a breakdown 

a/n: hehehe a bit of a longer blurb w/ some angst for y’all ;)))) lmk what ya think!!

masterlist

You could still remember the days when Cap would patch up your scraped knees, giving them the magic ‘feel better’ kisses before telling you to be more careful next time. Sometimes, Nat would give you little lessons on how to fight like her, never growing impatient with your repetitive mistakes and general inability to catch onto her complex moves. Clint would even ruffle your hair and watch a movie every Friday night, always letting you choose (no matter how many times you requested Cinderella.)

Tony might’ve been your biological father, but the truth was, the whole team was your family. You loved your dad, and there was no doubt about it: he was a pretty damn good one. But you were basically the child of all of the avengers, and they never failed to show you how much they loved you. They’d help you with your homework, boy problems, and pretty much anything a teenager could ever need advice on; most importantly, they made you feel important and loved when you needed it the most.

But everything changed when a certain bug-boy came into the picture.

One day when you were sitting on the couch with Bruce discussing a tricky math problem, Tony waltzed in with a young, curly-haired boy trailing closely behind him. He looked about your age and a nervous smile graced his face when you locked eyes.

“Guys, this is Peter,” Tony introduced you to him and he waved awkwardly.

“H-Hi.”

“Peter, this is my daughter, Y/N,” he pointed to you before shifting his gaze towards Bruce, “I’m sure you already know who Doctor Banner is. Big green guy, can have a bit of a temper-”

“Tony,” Bruce warned, nodding at Peter with a soft smile.

“Aright, alright,” Tony patted the kid’s shoulder, “I’m gonna finish showing the new blood around. You two have fun.”

You couldn’t stop staring at Peter and his slightly pink cheeks as he turned to leave. After all, you were curious. It was rare to see high school aged kids in the compound, let alone ones as cute as Peter.

“Earth to Y/N…” Bruce waved his hand in front of your face, smiling when you jumped back in surprise.

‘Huh?” your cheeks heated as you scrambled to grab your pencil, “Oh yeah, uh, the math problem…”

As the weeks went on, you began to see more and more of Peter, his face popping up almost everywhere you went. Whether it be grabbing lunch in the kitchen, or taking the elevator down to the lobby, Peter was there, giving you shy side glances and small smiles. If you were being honest, it was pretty nice at first. After all, you never really got to hang out with kids your age, because it was too dangerous for you to go to a public school.

But your relationship with Peter forever changed after you got stuck in the elevator together one afternoon. Tony was rebooting FRIDAY, and in his usual fashion, forgot to inform pretty much anybody of the temporary shutdown. This left you and Peter alone in the elevator for roughly an hour. The first few minutes were awkward, which was to be expected; but after those few minutes… it felt like a spark went off. Conversation erupted, laughter filling the air as the two of you exchanged jokes and anecdotes. Whether it be meme references or results of scientific experiments, you covered it all.

From that point on, you and Peter were inseparable, doing practically everything together. There was no doubting it; he was your best friend. (And if you were being completely honest with yourself, there were probably some underlying feelings that were a bit more… romantic.)

Everything was smooth sailing for a while, uncontrollable laughter filling the corridors wherever the two of you went. Of course, you had your ups and downs, but nothing too serious ever kept you apart for more than a day. It was an ongoing joke at the tower that the two of you were attached at the hip. Hell, Peter even began to come along with you to some of your family activities. After all, he was practically family now.

But nothing that’s perfect lasts for long.

Things started to fall apart on a normal Friday night. It was 8:32pm, and you’d just popped some popcorn in preparation for your and Clint’s weekly movie night. But when you stepped into the room, the sounds of laughter already filled the air, a movie playing as background noise to the conversation. Peter and Clint were sitting on the couch, throwing pieces of popcorn at each other in a playfully competitive way.

“What’re you guys doing?” you blurted out, somewhat shocked by the whole situation.

Peter and Clint snapped their heads in your direction, Peter’s face lighting up upon seeing you. “Oh, hey Y/N!” he chirped, flashing you a happy smile, “Clint and I were just watching a movie… or at least trying to…” he giggled, gesturing towards the popcorn bowls, “Wanna join?”

“Oh. Uh…” you paused, a little unsure of what to do. In all honesty, you didn’t really know how to react to the scene laid out before you; you didn’t even know how you felt. Sure, you felt a little upset, but you were also understanding of the situation. But more than anything, you were just… confused.

Why did Clint not wait for you to come into the room before beginning the movie? Why was Peter even here for him to watch a movie with? He should’ve been at home with May. Did Clint invite him to watch the movie, or did Peter suggest it himself? Why weren’t you included in any of this?

“I actually think I have some chemistry homework or something, so, uh, I should go.”

“Aw man,” Peter pouted, sticking out his bottom lip, “Well, good luck on your homework! If you get done early, you should come back down and hang with us.”

You flashed him a tight smile before letting your eyes drift over to Clint, almost immediately looking away when your gazes met. He was giving you the look that told you he wasn’t buying any of your excuses. After all, he could see through pretty much any ruse you threw at him.

“Pete, can you give us a sec?” Clint patted his shoulder and walked over to you, nodding his head towards the hallway to signal Peter to leave the room. “Listen, Y/N, Peter really wanted to watch this movie, and I wasn’t sure if you were coming down tonight—”

“Clint, it’s fine,” you held up a palm, trying to reassure him when he gave you another disbelieving look, “I promise. I get it, I really do.”

After a few moments of consideration, he pulled you into a side hug, ruffling your hair. “If you say so, kiddo.”

A few hours later, when you were laying in bed, you just couldn’t get what had happened off of your mind. You doubted it was intentional, and you had to admit, it was a pretty small thing to get upset over. Besides, you weren’t one to hold a grudge. Deciding it was best to put it behind you, you rolled over and fell asleep, hoping that the incident would be a one-time thing.

If only you’d realized just how wrong you were.

— -

From that point on, things started to go downhill, and fast. More and more often, you were finding Peter doing things you used to do with the whole group. At first, you tried to force yourself into things and make yourself known. But no matter how much you spoke up or how hard you tried, you still somehow felt like an outsider in your own home; an outcast in your own family.

Nobody paid attention to you, no matter how hard you tried. All they seemed to do was fawn over their baby Peter, making sure that he was okay and that he knew he was the apple of their eye.

You felt like a background character in everybody’s lives, including your own.

Eventually, you gave up trying to be included. You began to lock yourself in your room, isolating yourself from everybody in the compound, Peter included. Peter knew something was up, but when he tried to ask you about it, you brushed it off, telling him he was imagining things. Just because you were upset didn’t mean you had to bring him down with you, right?

You knew that you could always talk to the group about how you felt, but you didn’t want to cause any trouble. So, you kept it all inside, locked in a small box hidden in the back of your mind. Every time something new happened, you’d open up the box and throw your feelings in there, always sure to never let a word slip out.

But the thing about that hidden box was that it was bound to overflow. After all, it was a finite space, and you couldn’t keep locking away your feelings without snapping.

That snap finally came when you walked into the lab one afternoon, seeing Peter and Bruce working on some sort of small machine. Taking a few steps closer, your heart dropped when you recognized that small machine as your personal project; an experiment that you’d been working on for years. You’d only told Tony about it because it was so personal to you (and even if you had tried to tell the others, you doubted they would have cared.)

“Huh… try connecting this wire to that one,” Bruce pointed to the object, deep in thought. Peter stuck out his tongue slightly as he carefully reconnected the wires, cheering when the device whirred to life successfully.

“Yes!” he grinned, giving Bruce a high five, “I can’t believe we—”

He paused when he saw you in the doorway, his smile softening a bit, “Hey Y/N! Wanna check out this cool project Bruce and I just finished? We found it sitting in the lab and decided to fix it up!”

You stood frozen, not even sure how to react. Your initial response was anger, a surge of betrayal spreading through your veins like fire. “I’m good.” you said through gritted teeth, taking a deep breath.

“You sure? It’s really cool! I can explain how it works if you want—”

“I already know how it works!” you blurted out, exasperation and annoyance soaking every syllable, “It was my project. I made that. I’ve been working on it for years. So no, I don’t need your explanation on how it works. That wasn’t yours to tamper with.”

“Y/N,” Bruce said with concern, “Is everything okay? This doesn’t seem like you. We didn’t know the project was yours; it was an honest mistake.”

“How would you have known? It isn’t like you pay attention to me anymore,” you scoffed, glaring daggers at the pair, “Besides, even if you had known, I’m sure that you would’ve finish it anyways if Peter had wanted to. You guys do whatever the hell he wants, yet you can’t even find the time to say goodnight to me anymore.”

“Woah, where is this coming from?” Bruce looked genuinely confused, “Who said we weren’t paying attention to you?” Peter sat there dumbfounded as you crossed your arms, Bruce holding up his hands in defense.

“Just— forget it.” You took a deep breath and stormed off, ignoring the calls of your name as the door slammed behind you. As you went on a rampage through the compound, you drew stares from everyone. A few called out to you, asking you what was wrong, but you just kept going until you finally reached your room. Shutting your door softly, you collapsed on your bed, letting out a scream into your pillow. Every emotion was hitting you at once, causing you to feel insanely overwhelmed and helpless.

Your face was buried in a pillow when you heard a knock on your door. “What is it?” you grumbled, rolling your eyes when you heard Bruce’s voice.

“Y/N, could you come downstairs for a minute?”

“Why?” you lifted the pillow from your face, glaring at him before flipping over onto your side to face away from the doorway, “I’m perfectly fine.”

“We need to talk to you.”

“Why do you need me when you could just talk to Peter?”

Bruce sighed deeply, despite already knowing that getting you downstairs was going to be a challenge from the beginning. “You know that’s not true. Just come down for five minutes, then you can come back up to sulk.”

Groaning dramatically, you rolled off of your bed and hit the floor with a soft thump. “Fine,” you called out from your spot on the carpet behind the bed. When you heard the door shut, you slowly sat up, making your way down to the main room as slowly as humanly possible.

As soon as you took a step into the room, everybody’s heads snapped to attention. A quick glance around showed you that basically the entire team was in the room, ready to have this conversation with you. You weren’t intimidated, just reluctant to talk about the topic (mostly out of spite.) And then, your eyes landed on Peter.

“I don’t wanna talk if he’s gonna be here.” Peter looked down guiltily and messed with the hem of his shirt, trying to avoid your heated gaze.

“Y/N,” Steve began in his ‘i’m giving a speech and you will listen to me’ voice, “This clearly involves the both of you, so Peter stays.”

“It’s...” Peter began to stand up, “It’s okay, I can just leave—”

Steve reached out and grabbed his arm gently, “Peter, we want you here, for this conversation—”

“I don’t.” Cap shot you a stern look, causing you to simply cross your arms in defense.

“Y/N, you’re being unreasonable,” Clint butted in, “Peter didn’t do anything intentionally to hurt you, and he wants to make it right. We all wanna make it right.”

“Unreasonable?” you scoff, gesturing wildly around you, “I’m unreasonable for not wanting to see Peter? For not wanting to see you guys? You’ve all been perfectly fine with me pining after you for the past few weeks, but when I finally give up, suddenly you’re concerned.”

Tears were filling your eyes, but you were unaware that they were also filling Peter’s.

He pulled away from Steve, taking a few steps back towards the door. “I should leave,” he began, being interrupted by a loud protest from the group of avengers sitting in the large room.

“Just-just stop!” he yelled, effectively silencing them, “Isn’t it obvious? I only seem to make things worse. I’m clearly not helping the situation. Y/N doesn’t want to be anywhere near me. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. Am I wrong?”

Peter had known something was up with you the past few weeks, but he hadn’t realized that he was the one hurting you. It killed him. You were his best friend, and the last thing in the world he’d ever want to do is cause you pain.

“She doesn’t think that—”

“I wasn’t asking you, Bruce!” he exasperated, turning to you as a tear slipped down your cheek, “Am I wrong, Y/N?”

You didn’t confirm his statements, but you didn’t deny them, either. Instead, you simply stood there, wiping the fallen tear from your cheek. Peter exhaled heavily, taking your silence as a confirmation of everything he’d assumed. Giving everyone a short nod, he walked out into the hallway, nobody speaking up until he’d left.

“What’s gotten into you?” your dad asked, clearly fed up with the way you were acting.

“What’s gotten into me?” you gawked, raising your tone in anger, “What’s gotten into me is that I’m an outcast in my own family! You guys ignore me and all of our special traditions in favor of running off and doing them with Peter instead. It’s like— it’s like I’m not even your kid anymore! I’m a background character in my own life! Nothing I do impacts you, and you can’t even pretend like you care about my feelings. If you cared, you wouldn’t have neglected and ignored me in the first place. Once a newer, better version of me came along, you were quick to leave me in the dust.”

You’d completely broken down at this point, voice breaking from an angry scream to a teary-eyed cry as you finally unlocked your hidden box.

“I just don’t wanna be left behind.”

The room was speechless. In their minds, you’d just been adjusting to the new addition to the compound. They’d had no idea that you’d felt replaced by Peter. A feeling of guilt soaked into almost every heart in the room, the sight of the sad and tired child in front of them enough to almost bring them to tears.

“You’re our family,” Natasha offered, trying to make you feel better, “We’d never leave you behind.”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Steve interrupted, earning a glare from Nat, “If we’d known, we would’ve done something about it.”

“Because it isn’t my job to tell you,” you whispered, voice cracking, “The saddest part is just that— you had no idea that I was even pulling away until I finally snapped. I know that I’m supposed to communicate with you… but all I needed was one of you to reach out. You couldn’t even do that. And… the one person who did is sitting outside right now, beating themselves up for something that you guys did.”

Tony began to speak, but you cut him off by raising a hand in objection. “If you’ll excuse me,” you sniffed, straightening your shoulders and walking towards the door, “I think I owe somebody an apology.”

— -

You found Peter outside on the patio looking out into the green surrounding the compound. He was sitting on the ground, knees pulled up to his chest. Small sniffles came from him every few seconds, and his curly hair was a mess.

“You didn’t have to come out here,” he croaked, turning to look at you as you took a seat next to him.

“I kinda did,” you smiled a bit, “You been crying?”

Peter nodded. “You don’t look too happy yourself.”

You let out a sad laugh, wiping off a few remaining tears. “I owe you an apology.”

He froze at that. “An apology?” Confusion was tugging at his features, curiosity glowing in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you exhaled, wringing your hands together, “None of this was your fault. You couldn’t have known that you were encroaching on anything.”

He shrugged, wiping his nose, “I should’ve picked up on it, though.”

“You did,” you placed a hand on his arm, squeezing gently, “I just wouldn’t open up to you. That’s on me. The rest of it… well, that’s on the team. But you looked out for me even when they failed to, and I’m really grateful for that.”

You paused, taking a few seconds to gather your thoughts. Peter covered your hand with his own, running his fingers lightly against the back of your knuckles. “And I’m sorry for blowing up at you like that. I’m sorry for ignoring you and shutting you out instead of letting you in. It only made the issue worse, and it made you feel guilty for something that isn’t your fault.”

Tears stung the back of your eyes, threatening to spill down over your cheeks all over again as you whispered, “I’m sorry, Pete.”

Lifting his arm, Peter slung himself around your shoulders, pulling you into a big side hug. He was warm, his t-shirt soft between your fingers as you gripped it tightly and cried into his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he consoled, rubbing small circles on your back as you hiccupped, “It’s okay.”

Slowly, your tears began to dry, and a wave of exhaustion began to spread throughout your chest. Your lungs were heavy and the air was somehow warmer as Peter continued to rub circles on your back, lulling you into a post-cry nap. Before you knew it, you were asleep, your grip on his shirt growing loose. He stroked your hair before repositioning you so you’d be more comfortable lying against him.

Peter’s head jerked up when he heard the door open, eyes widening when he saw Steve walk over towards the two of you.

“How is she, kid?” he put his hands into his pockets, gazing out at the greenery in front of him.

“She was pretty upset. I don’t think it’s gonna be fixed overnight,” Peter paused, “Where’s Mr. Stark and the rest of the team?” “We thought it’d be best to only send one person out here to get her, and Tony didn’t think she was too happy with him,” Steve explained, sadness and guilt in his gaze as he looked over at you, “Not that she’s happy with me, either.”

The vibrations from Peter’s chest as they spoke stirred you awake, causing you to blink a few times in an attempt to shake away some of the sleepiness. “Steve?” you yawned, turning to the man standing a few feet away, “What do you want?”

“To see what we can all do to make this better,” Bruce spoke up from the doorway, taking a few steps out onto the patio before the rest of the team followed.

“We messed up and we wanna fix it,” Tony shrugged, but not without throwing you an apologetic glance.

“Just… don’t be inconsiderate dicks anymore, okay?” you sighed, rubbing your face roughly in exasperation, “And give me some time. I’m upset, and that hurt isn’t gonna go away overnight. I need to process stuff, ya know.”

“Cap, you okay with that language?” Your dad joked, raising his hands in defense when you shot him a death glare, “What? He’s an old man. He can’t handle those words, Y/N.”

“And I want some really good apologies. Like, ten-page-long handwritten apology letters. Delivered by pigeon.”

“Deal. Sam, what’s our pigeon status?” Tony threw over his shoulder, earning a glare from Sam.

“I. Don’t. Talk. To. Birds,” he rolled his eyes, “You two have got to drop that bit, or I think I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“Whatever you say, birdman,” you winked before shooing the team away, “Now, can you guys leave us alone? We were having a best friend moment.”

“Okay, okay,” Bruce laughed, shouting over his shoulder as Steve pushed him along, “But we are gonna talk about this in more detail later.”

“Have your apology letter ready!” you sang, waving him goodbye with a cheesy smile until the door shut behind the group.

You turned back around with a sigh, looping your arm through Peter’s. “Thank you, Peter,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling a bit when his face flushed red, “You’re the bestest best friend I could ever ask for.”

“Just… be sure to talk to me next time, okay?” he responded, giving the hand wrapped around his forearm a squeeze, “I’m always here for you.”

He paused.

“Plus, I missed you a lot.”

“You got it,” you breathed as you laid your head on his shoulder, “And don’t worry, I missed you too.”

taglist + a few mutuals;

@minnie-marvel @magic-marvel @quxntumvandyne @imnotbitter-anna @cynicallystiles @laurfangirl424 @misslunala @secondsineternity @galaxy-parker @peterpcrker @signed-potato @lokiislowkeyhot @highlady-ofthe-summercourt @veryspectacularspiderling @delicately-written @thefallenbibliophilequote @jupiterparker @buck-ets @newtimewriter @thedaughterofdawn @lltrashll @paradoxparker @propertyofmarvel @sagebrandy-loves-pancakes @flaminghottaquito @marvel-galaxy @laureharrier @futzingclint @lokiismischief @whycantwebefriendz @hedwigthelegend @yellowkenyon97 @casuallytumblingdownthestairs  @yelyahryan @em-aesthe @ @smexylemony @watermelonfruitsalad @thewildheroine @s0cial-retard @awkwardfangirl2014 @nobelwarriorheroes @holland-haven @moonpadillaa @lesbianismybitchname @kingccbsblog @upsidedownparker

peter parker taglist;

@lostnliterature​ @lovely-parker​ @johnmulaneyslut​ @irxnspxder​ @lovinnholland​ @alyssaaaas-stuff

join my tags!

[etherealwaifgoddess]

More Time - Chpt.1

Summary: Steve’s health takes a turn for the worse prompting Bruce to suggest an unexpected solution. 

Warnings: Some sad feels

Word Count: 1.1k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! I’m going to try and post this fic daily until it’s done. Don’t know how feasible that’s going to be (I’m up for a promotion at work and have two kids at home, life is hectic) but I’m going to do my best! This is a shorty chapter but let’s at least get the ball rolling....

ICYMI: the prologue can be found HERE, and the master list is HERE.

Chapter One

Steve woke to a coughing fit for the third time that night. The red numbers glared at him from the alarm clock, 2:32am. His chest clenched as he wheezed and he begrudgingly used the inhaler he had on standby since he’d gotten a summer cold three weeks ago. “Immunocompromised” Bruce had called it, and Steve bristled at the term as much as he had at the word “elderly”. 

“Hey, you okay?” Bucky mumbled, half awake but aware enough to reach out and rub a strong hand against Steve’s back in a comforting gesture. 

Steve nodded in the dark, not quite able to speak as his lungs calmed back down. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” He said after a minute. 

Steve woke up two more times before the sun did and Bucky decided sometime around 4am that Steve no longer had the option to refuse medical care. He text Bruce telling him he was bringing Steve in to see him and Helen Cho around nine whether Steve liked it or not. Bucky remembered the signs like it was yesterday and not eighty years ago. Steve had contracted pneumonia enough times that it was unmistakable to him even now. He’d been worried sick for the last week and a half and Steve’s health was deteriorating rapidly every day.

“I’m fine.” Steve grumbled over the cup of coffee he barely had enough strength to hold. He had drug himself out of bed around seven, giving up on the illusion of sleep. 

“The hell you are, punk. Bruce and Helen will be waiting for us at the compound around nine. You need to get checked out again, it’s too risky at your age to let it keep going like this.” 

Steve shot him a glare, he knew damn well how old he was and was tired of everyone reminding him of it. “Technically you’re still a year older than me, jerk.”

“Yeah but I spent most of the last eighty years getting my beauty rest.” 

“Jerk.” 

“Punk.”

They exchanged equally exasperated smiles but Steve knew he wasn’t winning this fight and went to get changed out of his pajamas. 

Bruce and Helen took a full few body scans as well as a series of x-rays and a vial of blood which they assured him would be incinerated as soon as the lab results were back. Steve was exhausted to the point where his hands trembled in his lap while he and Bucky sat together in the sitting room outside the lab waiting for the results. It was damn hard being old, Steve thought. His mind was still sharp but his body was failing whether he liked it or not. It was almost like things were before the serum but not quite as bad since this was the result of a long life lived well and not an unlucky roll of the dice at birth. 

Helen looked heartbroken when she rejoined them in the room outside the lab. Bruce trailed in a minute later, concentrating on the Starkpad in his hand, a conflicted expression etched on his face. He looked up at Helen and nodded.

“It’s pneumonia.” Helen said plainly. She was a good doctor and Steve respected the way she didn’t bother sugar coating things. “It’s normally treatable but your test results are concerning. We’re going to do everything modern medical science can do for you but you need to know that at your age the odds are not great.” 

Bucky tensed almost imperceptibly next to Steve, his training keeping him stock still when all he wanted to do was breakdown and scream. 

“I’ve lived a long life, doc. I know you’ll do what you can.” Steve assured her.

Bucky felt bile rising in his throat, of course Steve would try to reassure the woman who just said he was dying. He felt like every fiber of his body was being torn apart at the idea of Steve’s death. It wasn’t that he couldn't imagine a world without Steve in it, he just didn’t want to be part of it. 

“There is another option.” Bruce told them. “It’s a long shot but I think we could make it work.”

“What is it?” Bucky asked quickly. He didn’t care how slim of a chance it was, if it could possibly save Steve’s life it was worth trying.

“We could try and give a tiny boost to the serum to help fight off the infection. I have a formula I’ve been working on, in theory, obviously, and I think we could give him just enough of a boost so that the serum would help his immune system fight off the infection like it would in a healthy person.” 

“Bruce, I appreciate what you’re doing but-” Steve started but was cut off by a very pissed off former assassin. 

“Guys, will you give Steve and I a minute alone please?” Bucky bit out. 

Both Helen and Bruce left quietly and Steve sighed, waiting for Bucky to start in on him. After a moment when no verbal tirade came Steve looked over to see tears streaming down Bucky’s face. 

“Buck, I…” Steve gasped, completely unexpected for this reaction. 

“No,” Bucky told him, voice breaking, “Don’t you dare try to be brave or noble or any of that bullshit right now.” Bucky took a few steadying breaths before he continued. “I know you and I know what you’re thinking but just stop it, okay? This could buy us more time, Stevie. I knew we wouldn’t have a lifetime together but at least let Bruce try this and give me a little more time with you. I’m not ready to lose you.” Bucky let out a sob and Steve forced his aching bones to sit up tall enough that he could wrap his arms around Bucky and pull him in close to his chest. 

“I’m not ready to lose you either.” Steve said quietly into Bucky’s hair as he held him tightly. “I’m not too keen on messing with the serum, but I trust Bruce.”

“I expected more of a fight from you on this.” Bucky chuckled.

“Maybe I got smarter in my old age.” Steve quipped, “Go get Bruce so we can do whatever it is he thinks will fix this.” 

Bucky smiled up at Steve, so thankful for the sliver of hope they’d been given, and left to find the pair of doctors. 

Tag list lovelies: @godofplumsandthunder​ @remilupin22​ @supraveng​ @hiddles-rose​

If anyone wants added or removed please lmk! 

[illestmemes]

naughty sarah why is tofu toxic tho

oh boy am I glad you asked!!

(disclaimer before rant: I have done personal research on this topic, and encourage you all to do the same (TRY GOOGLE SCHOLAR AND CHECK ALL THE SOURCES). this is not a result of that research. this is a big RECAP. I am not an expert; therefore, I strongly encourage you all to go find the data I have accrued for yourselves. that’s why I didn’t provide links. you’ll find the scholarly articles and experiments yourselves. do your own research kiddos you have an internet. use it wisely.)

ok so the main thing to take away from this little rant is the Main Ideas. basically, there are tons of scholarly experiments that link tofu and unfermented soy products with health issues (fermented soy, however, is healthy for you! we’ll discuss that in a bit). what’s unfermented soy? it’s typically found in tofu, textured vegetable protein (TVP), soy milk, and soy infant formula. Specifically, a lot of studies link soy to...

malnutrition

digestive distress

immune system breakdown

thyroid dysfunction

cognitive decline

reproductive disorder

infertility

cancer

heart disease 

etc. 

wow that’s a long list huh. what other problems does it have? soybeans in the US are genetically modified (GMOs) and sprayed with herbicides. soybeans also have anti-nutrients like phytates, soyatoxin, saponins, trypsin inhibitors, goitrogens and phytoestrogens. when it’s grown naturally, however, (not a GMO) then its fermentation destroys these anti-nutrients, which then makes it possible to absorb its nutrients. but what we consume is NOT fermented! so yeah here’s some more problems related to that...

High Phytic Acid (Phytates): Reduces assimilation of calcium, magnesium, copper, iron and zinc. Phytic acid in soy is not neutralized by ordinary preparation methods such as soaking, sprouting and long, slow cooking, but only with long fermentation. High-phytate diets have caused growth problems in children.

Trypsin inhibitors: Interferes with protein digestion and may cause pancreatic disorders. In test animals, trypsin inhibitors in soy caused stunted growth.

Goitrogens: Potent agents that block your synthesis of thyroid hormones and can cause hypothyroidism and thyroid cancer. In infants, consumption of soy formula has been linked with autoimmune thyroid disease. Goitrogens interfere with iodine metabolism.

Phytoestrogens/Isoflavones: Plant compounds resembling human estrogen can block your normal estrogen and disrupt endocrine function, cause infertility, and increase your risk for breast cancer.

Hemagglutinin: A clot-promoting substance that causes your red blood cells to clump, making them unable to properly absorb and distribute oxygen to your tissues.

Synthetic Vitamin D: Soy foods increase your body’s vitamin D requirement, which is why companies add synthetic vitamin D2 to soymilk (a toxic form of vitamin D).

Vitamin B12: Soy contains a compound resembling vitamin B12 that cannot be used by your body, so soy foods can actually contribute to B12 deficiency, especially among vegans.

Protein Denaturing: Fragile proteins are denatured during high temperature processing to make soy protein isolate and textured vegetable protein (TVP). Chemical processing of soy protein results in the formation of toxic lysinoalanine and highly carcinogenic nitrosamines.

MSG: Free glutamic acid, or MSG, is a potent neurotoxin. MSG is formed during soy food processing, plus additional MSG is often added to mask soy’s unpleasant taste.

Aluminum and Manganese: Soy foods contain high levels of aluminum, which is toxic to your nervous system and kidneys, and manganese, which wreaks havoc on your baby’s immature metabolic system.

Soy’s anti-nutrients are bad news bears. Drinking soy milk daily can change your menstrual cycle. if you feed soy to an infant, these effects are even worse. basically imagine feeding a baby soy formula that would pump thousands of times more estrogen into its body than children who drink natural formula. and yeah, soy has hella estrogen which is part of the problems listed above.

now this doesn’t make all soy bad guys! fermented soy from organic soybeans is actually healthy. Fermented soy is a great source of vitamin K2.

but in conclusion: tofu is TRASH and your body IS NOT A DUMPING GROUND.

(if you find contradicting research, or know something that I do not, please hit up my inbox! but from the research I did on this topic, I would need evidence if you try to call me out. but I am human, and also not an expert, so can easily have found data that’s outdated or whatever. I’m inclined to say that from the copious amounts of info on soy products I found regarding the health risks that I’m not wrong, but yeah if I am lmk)