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#which is a lot i have a lot of them they're very easy to hit
letteredlettered · 6 months
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every fandom has a closer vid so who's going to make the closer vid for TGCF? but oh wait, who would it be about; it's not like hua cheng wants to violate anyone; it's not like hua cheng wants to desecrate anyone; it's not like his whole existence is flawed; it's not like there's anyone who gets him closer to god. Too bad really it would've been a good vid
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teaboot · 3 months
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OH FUCK YALL THOUGHT I WAS *ARMED GUARD*????
BRUHHHHHHHH
I'm the lowest level licensed security you can hire
I work foot patrol for shit like wet cement, construction sites, malls, libraries, outreach centers, and local events
My job is, essentially, human scarecrow
I am not permitted to carry a gun.
I am not permitted to carry a taser.
I am not permitted to carry pepper spray.
I am not permitted to carry a baton
I am not permitted to carry a knife or any multitool containing a knife
I don't have a plate vest
I'm not permitted to make any physical contact outside of administering first aid or in self defense, which must be made in minimal force required to ensure personal safety
I escort employees to make bank deposits, ask aggressive or violent people to leave, and take notes on safety hazards in patrolled areas
If someone bleeds, throws up, or takes a dump somewhere they shouldn't, it's between me and the custodian to make sure nobody slips in it bay bee
It is none of my business if someone is doing drugs. If they aren't an active danger to themselves or others then they're golden
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
If you're selling drugs in clear view I will ask that you please do that elsewhere, ideally with more discretion. End of interaction
If you are using drugs in clear view I will tell you *exactly* where the property ends so you can smoke your bong 3 feet outside of that line where I can't do shit if someone complains. End of interaction
Site Security is not police. It is not LPO. Someone could point you out as you run off the site and say "I saw him shove a microwave down his pants and walk out" and it would be approximately none of my business.
THINGS THAT ARE MY BUSINESS
Overdose in the bathroom. I will verbally check twice that you are conscious, and if I get no response I will warn that I am coming in to check on you. If I find you on the ground I will again try to speak to you, warn that I am touching your shoulder, and give you a jiggle. If I can't wake you up I roll you into recovery and wait for paramedics.
Threatening or harassing staff. You cannot make passes at the highschooler operating the pretzel stand. You cannot tell the bank teller you'll "track him down eventually". The lady at the nail salon said she didn't want to marry you six times now and now I'm your problem
Abuse, endangerment, or neglect. If you leave your baby on the sidewalk so you can shop by yourself then I will be the jerk who ruins your day. If you hit your kid I will become very much your problem. If you locked your dog in the car with the windows rolled up six hours ago and it isn't getting up when I tap the window I'm gonna be the biggest pain in the ass you'll see all day
Safety hazards. Don't shoot off a bottle rocket in the parking lot. Yes it's very cool and you probably won't hit anything important but there's a pretty big empty lot like six blocks away man, what if you nail a kid or something. If you wanna take your bearded dragon to the food court, keep him in your coat or in a carrier. Climb the telephone pole on Tuesday because thats my day off
Client complaints/concerns. Boss says you've been here living in your car for three days and it's time to move on. You and I know it's been a month but between us if you switch locations every couple days around the lot she won't catch you again till at least May. As long as you don't leave a bunch of trash laying out we're good.
END NOTES
If you have tattoos on your face, throat, or hands and you wanna pull something you gotta be so incredibly discrete, is so incredibly easy for Law Enforcement to track you down you have no idea. I know like 3 guys with face tattoos in town, one of them's been my buddy since highschool and the other 2 were introduced to me like "watch out for a guy with a star on his cheek, his name is Patrick Sturblish, he's 43 years old and I saw him pocket a redbull once".
Always assume someone is operating the cameras live.
The courts are so insanely overwhelmed all the time, if you nab something small and vital like bandages, tampons, underwear, whatever and don't have a long list of priors usually even a cop won't bother trying to charge you. If I can't tell you not to steal for the consequences then at least don't get cocky about it
In my own experience if you walk into a big store and straight up tell someone "I don't want to steal but I need this very badly" then usually someone will find a way to get it to you
If someone tells me you're stealing on camera I will let you know that someone caught you and it's your last chance to put stuff back before they do something
If you pull a weapon on me or someone else while I'm working then I'm required to inform police so please don't do that thank you
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give-soup-please · 1 year
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i think about this picture a lot, where aziraphale is keeping his eyes on job's children while they've been transformed into lizards. and yeah i caught it so that the lightning is framing him because- i-
a lot of folks get caught up in his and crowley's romance, which is totally fair! but i adore shots like this because they show his continued guardianship of humanity. the careful posing, the way the light hits him making him look angelic and slightly ethereal, and the way his body is posed feels so.... gentle????? i think it's in the curve of his back which i'd describe as graceful. like- AUGH!!! it'd be so easy for someone to photoshop wings in, and i'd do it myself if i had the ability.
the lizards/kiddos are settled in the pot, they probably aren't going anywhere and likely can't move very fast but HE'S! Still! PROTECTING THEM!!!
keeping a watchful eye to make sure humans stay safe! and i lose my mind every time!!!
they could have made it so that the first shot after the cut was his and crowley's conversation but they didn't! they didn't! and the lighting is framed so that they are in his protective shadow!!!!
stooping over slightly, making sure they're okay.
i'm going to lose my mind, i will *never* be the same again i swear.
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melannen · 1 year
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How To Make Your Own Fanfiction Archive, In Just Ten Easy Steps
As the go-to "person who knows about AO3" for quite a few people who read fanfic but aren't really linked-in to wider fandom culture, I've fielded a lot of questions about how to do certain things on AO3 to which my best answer is "you should really start your own archive!" I think, in general, more fans starting their own small archives would be a net good for fandom. AO3 was never meant to be the only archive for all fandom, or even the main archive, and the more spread out and backed up we are the more resilient we are.
But of course I have to be reminded that a lot of fans these days don't really have any idea how little "you should start your own archive!" really involves. (Also, that I should practice what I preach.) So I am now making my own fanfiction archive, and writing up this post as I do it to tell people how to make theirs!
Go to https://neocities.org/ and sign up for an account. It only needs a username (which will also be your website address), password, and email. Pick a username that will be related to your archive's title!
Choose the free account option (if you ever need more than what the free account offers for a text-only archive, you should probably look into graduating from neocities.) This should take you to a menu of "how to make a website" tutorials. You should do them! They're useful skills. But let's get your archive running first.
Hit the big red Edit Site button, or open the menu under your username and select "Edit Site".
Select the "Index.html" file to edit. You're now in an HTML Editor. Congrats, you're a web developer c. 1999!
Find where it has text between the < title> tags. Delete the filler text, and put in the title of your new archive. This text will be what shows on the tab when people go to your archive.
Find where it has text between the < h1 > tags. This will be big header text at the top of your page. Put the title of your archive here again. If you have no experience with HTML, you should read over the other sample text. It covers the basic basics very well! Once you've done that, you can delete everything else between the < /h1> tag and the < /body> tag. Save your index.html file.
Get an HTML file for a fanfic you would like to add to your archive. If it's on AO3, you can use the html download option built into AO3. If you have it as a word processor/google docs file, you should have the option to save as an html file. Save that html file to your computer.
Go back to Edit Site on Neocities and go to "upload". Find the html file you saved and upload it. (You can also drag and drop files to upload.)
The file you uploaded should now be showing with your other neocities files. Right-click on the title and select "copy link".
Go in to edit index.html again. Under where you put your header text, type < br> < a href=" . Then paste in the link you copied. Then type "> Then put in the title of the fic. Then type < /a> . Then save the index page again when you're done. You can do this for every fanfic you have.
Congratulations! You now have your very own personal private fanfiction archive that you are 100% in charge of and make all the rules for. It's at least as good as half the ones I was reading on when I started reading fanfiction and will serve its function well as a way to let people read your fic. You can link to it from anywhere you want! (Including your AO3 profile.)
Blogpost version, with FAQs and discussion
Anyway, here's my beautiful new fanfiction archive made using this tutorial:
Melannen's Fanfiction Archive
(I am honestly way more disproportionately proud of finally making that than I expected to be. It's nice to have your own archive.)
If you make one, share it here ! I want to see!
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essaytime · 7 months
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A lot of productions (or production ideas) for Romeo and Juliet come up with elaborate aesthetics for both of the feuding families, and there is definitely a charm as well as a large degree of blessed creativity to this, but honestly, the more I think about the play, the more I feel the most resounding choice with me, given the play's meaning, would be to make the Montagues and the Capulets' costumes very, very similar. Almost identical - the same silhouettes, materials, everything. Have the only thing signalling which family it is be a ribbon or band tied around the arm, a particular embellishment at the collar of a dress or shirt, maybe some item of clothing that's easy to take off, like a vest or small cape, or a scarf. Maybe aside from the Lords and Ladies of both surnames, they could wear something that's entirely in their family's chosen colours/symbols, but the rest of the family and their supporters? Just these details. Because that's really one of the things that hit so hard in the text: there is literally no reason for the feud. There's no logically existing divide. We have two influential families of equal standing, who live by the same customs, whose children probably have the same education, who employ people with the same mindset and themselves presumably have the same mindset. They could very well live beside each other, they could very well switch places and be each other. These poor teenagers in Romeo and Juliet are forced to live in a world shaped by something that just doesn't exist. And they're mistreated, and they struggle, and they die - at more or less fourteen or fifteen! - for something that doesn't exist. Because at this point there is no reason to go on with this conflict, if there even was one in the first place, which I doubt. I think there is a lot of sense in the fact that we never learn why the Capulets despise the Montagues and vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if during the time of the play there was just no one that could remember it. But still, this conflict, this absolutely empty, pointless, senseless conflict, wrecks the community of Verona, pitting citizens against each other and leading to innocent kids dying. And I think if I were directing the play, that's the thing I would emphasise: that they are really the same. Have Lord Montague make a similar scream, speak in a similar tone mourning his son as Lord Capulet did mourning his daughter. Have the servants at the beginning of the play use exactly the same gestures and mannerisms. Have the dear uninvited party-sneakers get along with Capulet youth at the ball and genuinely have fun together. And have the citizens at the end be all the same in their surprise and grief, virtually indistinguishable save for this ribbon or embellishment they can just rip off of their costume, becoming one whole crowd. All of these people could pass each other, say hello, gossip on the street with no problem - if it weren't for these details that somehow make them part of two different entities. For there is no border between the Capulets and the Montagues other than the artificial one they try to create themselves. And people die for it.
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animehideout · 9 months
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JJK X HAIKYUU X READER IN ONE ROOM.
a/n: Idk just had this random idea of jjk men and Haikyuu men being in one room with the reader like the general dynamics.
Which room you'd rather be locked in?
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Room 1 : Gojo Satoru/ Ryomen Sukuna / Toji Fushiguro/ Kuroo Tetsuroo / Oikawa Tooru / Atsumu Miya
A bunch of loud narcissistic extroverts in one room.
Let's say Kuroo is the calmest comparing to them.
Over confidents in their looks and capabilities.
Cocky ass men.
They would start showing off in front of you, literally out of the blue.
Would start an arm wrestling match to see who's the strongest.
Smart? super smart, they'd know exactly what to say to you to make you blush and weak on the knees.
Would try to outshine each other, each one of them trying to be the center of your attention.
Brag about their achievements
“huh a captain of a volleyball team? how lame..I'm the king of curse”.
Showing off their skills to you trying to be better than the other
“come on Oikawa, you can try to punch me, bet you can't..my infinity won't allow it hehehe”.
Everyone talking loudly and at the same time, giving you a terrible headache.
Flexing on you, flexing their muscles in front of you
“come on don't be shy y/n, you can't touch my biceps”
“Hah you call that a biceps?”.
They would put each other down to seem the strongest and the dominant one in front of you.
Total flirts, praising you a lot!!!
Impressive but terrible use of pick-up lines.
Would make their voice deeper to capt your attention and turn you on.
They would wink at you, a lot.
Touchy af.
You'd be giving them weird stares totally crushing their ego.
Room 2: Yuta Okkotsu / Choso Kamo / Toge Inumaki / Kenma Kozume / Kageyma Tobio
Introverted but can be stupid.
You can literally fall asleep there with how tranquil the atmosphere was.
Yuta would be reading his book, Kenma playing games on his phone, Toge just busy in this thoughts, Kageyma awkwardly eating snacks and Choso silently judging.
They shared the interest in you, but none of them dared to start a conversation.
Their attempts to approach you would fail miserably leaving them a blushing mess.
Low-key would suffer from an anxiety/panic attack if you touch them.
Their faces would turn different shades of pink if you catch them staring or smile at them.
Would stutter if you start talking to them.
Would try, key word try to flirt with you.
“That's n-nff-nice!”
Room 3: Yuji Itadori / Ino Takuma / Hinata Shoyo / Bokuto Koutarou / Lev Haiba
Over hyped and energetic squad is here.
These mfs would bond up at the spot
without any obstacles.
Very goofy.
They would turn the room into a lively and enthusiastic atmosphere.
Would laugh a lot while cracking jokes.
It would be easy to be around them since they would make you feel welcomed and try to engage you with them.
Very playful and spontaneous flirting when it's about you.
They would try to make you laugh with their stupid jokes and impressions showcasing their comedic side to you.
Also they would compliment you a lot.
“Your hair smells nice, I love it”
“You have a cute laugh”
It would be very easy to vibe with them.
Would play a lot of games together or watch random videos.
You'd feel very comfortable around them and safe.
Despite their playful nature they would take a good care of you.
Room 4: Nanami Kento / Geto Suguru / Megumi Fushiguro/ Iwaizumi Hajime / Daichi Sawamura / Akaashi Keiji / Ushijima Wakatoshi
Wise squad.
Gentlemen squad.
Aaah lock me in this room with them please.
They would be really quiet and calm.
Each one of them is sitting peacefully.
When they start interacting it would feel like an intellectual forum.
They would talk in formal language.
Engaging in philosophical, existential topic.
They might seem boring to others but they're actually interesting.
Veryyy polite when they start " hitting on you ".
If they sense that you're showing the slightest discomfort they would give you your space and never bother you again.
Would lowkey start a conversation with you talking about the weather
“So do you like the weather? I kinda like rainy days”.
They are CHARMING IN THEIR OWN WAY LIKE.
Treat you like a fucking princess / prince.
Respectful is their middle name.
They would take turns to engage you to talk about your interests.
“You're feeling cold y/n? here take my jacket”.
Very attentive when you start talking, memorizing each word you said.
They calculate what they'd be saying, making them flawless.
You'd fall head over heels for them.
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babyangelsky · 2 months
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My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 6
Every week I think I cannot possibly be having a better time with this show than I already am and every week I'm proven wrong. I LOVE IT HERE AND I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME!
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Well Mut, I suffer from this condition as well. It's called Permanent Heart Eyes and it's incurable.
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This is such a universal expression. Anyone who has ever watched someone they love eat something they cooked for them and enjoy it has made this face. Food is the greatest love language of them all.
Also, very pleasantly surprised to learn that Tongrak is a leftovers girly. I didn't expect him to be and now I love him even more.
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Peat really has mastered the shift from 🥺 to 🥰. He does it a lot this episode and it barely takes him a full second each time, I love it.
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When I tell you I COULD. NOT. LOVE. THIS. MAN. MORE. We only see him in profile when he delivers the last part of this line but this is a delightfully murderous expression. If I don't get a scene of Mahasamut cussing Prin out I'm going to be so disappointed.
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The utter shock at hearing that Mut wants to hear about Tongrak from him. The quiet disbelief. The relief. I can't show it in a screenshot but Tongrak breathes out when Mut says this and his shoulders relax. No one has ever given this man the courtesy of asking directly if they want to know something about him and allowing him to decide if he wants to share things and Mut does it so easily.
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The way he marvels at Mahasamut as it sinks in that he gets a choice, that he gets to decide if and how much to tell is just... it's lovely and completely fucking heartbreaking at the same time.
And because he was actually given a choice, he had no choice but to open up. Mut has made him feel so safe and respected that opening up becomes easy.
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"Even though they have a complete, loving family with a loving father."
Stab me, it would hurt less.
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No expression but the vibe is "I didn't say you could hug me but also I'm going to cling to you for dear life and try to burrow inside of your chest".
This is another one of those scenes that could have its own dedicated post and for which I would hit the picture limit immediately because the expressions were phenomenal and numerous so I'm cutting myself off.
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Would you look at that. Tongrak opened up and now we're cuddling and taking a nap inside of the bedroom no one has ever been allowed to enter. Phenomenal. I'm so proud of this sleepy kitten.
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Quick, someone google "how to tell your buddy that you're his husband's best friend's new sugar baby" for Mut he's asking for a friend it's him he's the friend.
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THE CUTE AGGRESSION IS ETERNAL AND RELENTLESS.
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Fort does the scolded puppy face so well.
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Well aren't WE a jealous little jellyfish, Khun Tongrak? He's so bitchy I love him so much.
Not pictured: him refusing to speak first when he talks to Connor even though he's the one who called and the 30 different emotions he goes through during that call.
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I spy with my little eye TWO jealous lil jellyfish. What's a group of jellyfish called?
*looks*
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A bloom. There's a bloom of pouty jealous jellyfish in this house. I do love when "fights" are for silly reasons and everyone involved knows they're being ridiculous.
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Side note: I covet this wallpaper. I need it on one of my bedroom walls immediately.
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Also, I would like to do my clown check in for the week and point out that Vivi has solid-colored textured pillows and patterned pillows on her couch but Tongrak chose to cuddle the patterned ones.
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We finally got to meet Tongrak's niece Meena and oh but she's a darling, precocious little thing. I also look at Mahasamut like this but you have no business doing it, miss thing, you're a baby! Same goes for reading your uncle's novels I say as someone who started reading romance novels when I was about her age.
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2.7 seconds apart. I timed it. I'm saying it every week at this point but Peat, I love everything you do with your face.
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And I am very quickly growing to love everything Nina does with that cute little face, too. It's good for Meena to see her beloved uncle being so loved by the beautiful man living in his house.
I have so much more to say about Meena but that definitely will get its own post because it's not limited to her facial expressions. There's a lot to unpack in this scene and in the cafe scene with her and Mut.
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I mean--do I even need to say anything? I can't wait to reblog every single gif I can find of this scene because it had me screaming into a pillow like Tongrak.
I'm reaaaaally starting to hate the 30 image photo limit because it truly is not enough to capture everything I love in this feast of a show. Prepare to be so sick of me because there WILL be more posts about this episode.
Also, if you'd like to be tagged in my weekly ramblings about micro-expressions, let me know! 💖
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hoejosatoru · 3 months
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Roster Hopper - Aoba Johsai edition
Pairings: Fem!y/n X Aoba Johsai players (Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, Kunimi, Kyōtani (mad dog)) all separately. Y/n's skin color/hair color is not specified.
Summary: Y/n bets her friend she can sleep with the star players of Aoba Johsai (Univiersity AU) without any of them finding out.
Original Karasuno version here, Nekoma version here
Word Count: 6.2K
Warnings: Sex with multiple guys (separately), stoner!Matsukawa bc I hc him like that, reader smokes, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, mirror sex, semi publicish sex, rough sex, spanking, thumb in ass, squirting, the works lads were are fucking 5 men in one story, Iwaizumi bias sorry not sorry, not proof read MDNI
"I cannot believe the way these girls act," You huffed, settling next to your best friend and co manager. This was the second time today you had to kick out a bunch of girls trying to get a glimpse of Oikawa from practice.
Your friend chuckled. "You get used to it, but it is very bizarre." You and your friend were managers of your university's highly regarded volleyball team. Your friend did it last year, convincing you to do it with her when the other manager graduated. Oikawa's groupies no longer phased her.
"What is he doing to these girls? I mean he's good looking, but he's just another student," you replied.
"Maybe he's hooking up with them? Like the dick is so good it drives the crazy," your friend said, snickering.
"There's no way he's that good," you chuckled. "Honestly, I feel like he's not even the best on the team."
"You've spend thinking about this?" your friend teased.
"Hey these practices are long, what else am I supposed to do?" you responded.
"Fair enough," your friend said. "So who do you think is the best, then?'
"My guess is Iwaizumi," you replied, "But unfortunately I don't have any proof."
"I don't have any proof either, but honestly I think you're right," your friend replied, "But I wouldn't count Oikawa out. He's gotta be doing something right for these girls to act like that."
An idea hit you. "What if I could get proof?"
Your friend's brow arched. "What do you mean?"
"Let's pick like the top 5 guys on the team. I'll sleep with all of them and then I can rank who's the best." It sounded crazy leaving your mouth, but it didn't make you want to do it any less.
Your friend gaped at you. "I think you might have caught whatever crazy the Oikawa fan girls have."
You shrugged. "Maybe, but come on, aren't you curious?"
"I can't lie, I am intrigued," your friend replied, "But it seems unlikely. That's a lot guys to get through and they're bound to talk."
"I bet you $200 I can do it with none of them finding out," you countered, feeling bold.
"You're on," you friend shook your hand. The two of you discussed details. In order to get the most accurate results, you were to let them take the lead. If you started telling them what moves to do, or what you liked you'd get a skewed experience. And it was crucial none of them found out. If they knew they were in competition, they might try extra hard, which, again, would skew the data in this very scientific study. You both agreed that you would have until the end of the semester to get it done. Fair enough, considering it just started.
"Also coach is super strict about girls," your friend said, "He thinks it is a distraction, so if he found out you might lose your spot." It certainly added to the stakes, but you were willing to risk it. You had faith in yourself. You both easily decided to on Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kumini, and Matsukawa as the top four, but struggled with the last guy.
Your friend got a devilish grin. "I think it should be Kyōtani." Your eyes drifted to the court where Kyōtani, who the team somewhat affectionately named mad dog, was slamming spikes over the net.
"I think you want me dead," you replied, "But I am curious. Sure let's make him number 5." And so you had your targets set.
Matsukawa was your first attempt because, frankly, he seemed the easiest. He flirted with you a few times at past parties so you figured you had a good shot at this one. You weaved through the crowd at the team house until you found him scrolling his phone, alone. Perfect.
"Hey Matsukawa," you beamed.
He perked up when he saw you, eye flicking over your body. You wore your favorite pair of jeans and a little top that hugged your body perfectly. From the twitch of his mouth, you guessed he liked what he saw. "Hey y/n, what's up?"
"I was wondering if you had any weed?" you batted your lashed at him,
His grin widened. "Course, you wanna smoke?"
"Do you mind?"
"Not at all. We just gotta do it upstairs, cause, you know." You nodded, understanding what he meant. Matsukawa was the only guy on the team who smoked, at least openly. Most of the guys gave him shit about it, saying it would fuck up his stamina and mess with his performance in games. So now, he had to hide it. Which worked out rather well for you.
You followed Matsukawa up to his room in the team house, both careful to avoid attention from other teammates. Luckily, it was a rather crowded party and you were able to make it to his room unnoticed.
"I can roll us a blunt?"
"Please," you replied, sitting comfortably on his bed. Matsukawa smiled, pleased at the look of you in his bed, before turning his attention to his rolling papers. He was quick and efficient joining you with a perfectly rolled blunt moment later. "You're good at that."
He grinned, lighting up, "Lot's a practice. You do the honors of taking the first hit." Matsukawa watched as you took the blunt between your plush lips. It was clear by the way he looked at you this would not be hard. You passed the blunt back and forth until it was finished, feeling a little high.
"You look like you want something," you flirt, holding Matsukawa's gaze. You leaned in closer to him, just inches from his face. "And I think I know what it is."
"Hmm, and what's that?" Matsukawa mused.
"This," you whispered before pressing your lips to his. Matsukawa's arms instantly wrapped around you, pulling you into him. You straddled his lap, playing with hair at the base of his neck as you kissed him deeper. You rolled your hips against him once to test the waters, eliciting a hum of pleasure from him. You continued your movements as Matsukawa let his hands explore your body, squeezing your ass and tits.
Matsukawa was fully hard before you even took your shirt off. He buried his face in your tits, sucking on the soft flesh and kneading with his large, warm hands. His tongue flicked over your nipple, making your arousal pool between your legs. He ravished your tits with his hands and mouth, making you ache with desire.
"Can I take these off?" Matsukawa asked, noting how you've become more needy. His fingers were hooked into pants the second you nodded, pulling them off you.
"Not fair that I'm the only one naked," you noted, pulling at the hem of his shirt.
Matsukawa smirked. "Be my guest." You stripped him down, pulling his stiff cock out of his pants. You ran your thumb over his tip, spreading his precum. You positioned yourself over him, before sinking down on to him with a satisfied sigh. He wasn't too big, but enough to make you feel full and satisfied.
You gripped his shoulders for leveraged as you rolled your hips. Matsukawa groaned as you fucked yourself on him, "God, you feel so good." He leaned back on his hands, allowing him to watch your tits bounce as you rode him. He planted his feet on the bed allowing him to fuck up into you.
"Shit just like that," you moaned, feeling him press deeper into you. Your clit hit against him with each thrust, sending jolts of pleasure through you. You dug your nails into his shoulder as you finally teetered over the edge, crying out his name.
"Fuck," Matsukawa moaned as he spilled inside you. His hips stuttered before finally coming to a stop. Matsukawa excused himself to grab you a towel from the bathroom connected to his room.
"Thanks," you said as he tossed it to you. You quickly cleaned yourself up, eager to get back to the party before it was obvious you were both gone. "Hey Matsukawa? Do you mind if we keep this between us? You know how the guys are, especially with, you know." You nodded over to the remnants of weed on his nightstand.
Matsukawa nodded, not looking to get another anti smoking lecture from Iwaizumi. "It's in the vault."
The opportunity to get with Kyōtani came unexpectedly. It was after practice, but you stayed behind to organize the team storage room. The sound of a ball being smacked around. You peaked out to find Kyōtani smacking the ball as hard as could against the wall.
"Everything okay?" you asked gently. His nickname of mad dog was fitting, as you often felt like you were approaching a feral animal when you had to talk to him.
He didn't look at you as he replied, "Coach said I need to get my aggression out." He smacked the ball harder, it ricocheting off the wall and back to him in a flash. "Apparently it's impacting my game."
"Is that why you're abusing the volleyballs?" you half joked, but he didn't crack a smile. You were beginning to wonder if you wouldn't be able to make this work.
"Yeah, don't know what else to do," he grumbled.
Well, you might as well go for it. "I've heard that sex is a good way to get out aggression."
This caught his attention. He caught the ball and turned to look at you for the first time since you came in. He had an unreadable scowl on his face. "Are you making fun of me?"
"No, not at all!" you replied quickly, "I was reading a sports magazine the other day and a professional athlete was talking about it. Said that he always had sex before games because it helped him calm down and think better." You were impressed at how quickly you thought on your feet, though you did feel a touch bad about lying. You were pretty sure sex relieves frustration so it wasn't that much of a lie.
"Well our game is tomorrow so I don't think I'll find someone in time to help with that," he replied flatly.
"I'll help you," you replied, "I mean, if you'd want that."
Kyotani's brows furrowed. "Are you fucking with me?"
"No, I promise," you replied earnestly. "I know tomorrow is an important game. I can't do anything to help during the game as a manager, but I could do this. Just think of all the spikes you'll get if coach puts you in more." You played at his desire to be in the games more and you could see the gears turning in his head.
"Okay, yeah" Kyōtani replied, "Let's do it. Come here." You obliged, surprised he agreed and buzzing with anticipation over what he would do. When you were within arms reach, Kyotani spun you around, so you were facing the wall. He pinned you in with his hands on either side of you. "This doesn't have to be romantic, it's just business, yeah?"
"Right, no feelings," you agreed. You both were using each other for a bigger goal, so this didn't bother you at all.
Kyotani brushed the hair away from your shoulder, his head dipping into your neck. He licked up the length of your neck before biting into your sensitive skin. It didn't hurt, but the surprise of it made you gasp. "I like it rough," Kyotani began, his hands wrapping your front to squeeze your breasts. "If it's too much, tell me to stop."
You nodded and he continued. He kissed at your neck as his hands traveled down your body and into your pants. He pumped a finger in and out of you, then added another to prep you for him. It wasn't romantic at all, as he stated, but there was something hot about it. Perhaps it was the way you were using each other, or the roughness in his touch, or the fact that you were doing this in the gym where you could walk in on you. It was sinful, wrong. But that turned you on even more.
"Bend over and put your hands on the wall," Kyotani instructed, though he was already manhandling your body into the position. You felt the cold air hit your wetness as he yanked down your pants, making you shiver. You arched your back in anticipation as you heard his pants slide down.
"Oh!" you gasped as he pressed himself into you. He was thick, your body needing to stretch around him. He let out a hiss as he bottomed out, both of you adjusting to the feel of the other. Kyotani wasted no time on adjusting, though, he gripped your hips and began to thrust into you. He snapped his hips hard and fast as your gripped the wall for leverage.
His hand came down on your ass with a hard smack. You moaned at the stinging sensation. "You like that?" he asked, smacking your ass again. "Fuck, yeah you do." Kyotani's pace never let up, making you breathless and sensitive. When he wasn't slapping your ass, he was gripping your hips with bruising force, allowing him to fuck you with all his might.
"Shit I'm gonna-" your words died as you came around him, your body shaking. Your knees buckled, but he held you firmly. He fucked you practically like a rag doll until he came, finishing inside you with a deep grunt. You were not surprised by his roughness, rather your enjoyment of it.
"I think I feel calmer, thanks," Kyotani said as you both redressed. It was almost comical, his treatment of this exchange. Like it was a totally normal thing to happen.
"Oh good, but do you mind if we don't tell anyone?" you asked, "Coach is weird about stuff with girls, you know? I would hate for him not to play you for something like this."
Kyotani's eyes darkened at the thought of being put on the sidelines. "I won't say a word."
2 down, 3 to go.
It was midterms week and everyone was stressed. Big tests and lots of games going on was never a good mix. Part of your job as manager was to check in with players and makes sure they were doing okay. When you found Kunimi and Kindaichi having a heated conversation, you had incorrectly assumed it was about academics.
"Everything okay boys?" you asked the first years. The color drained from Kunimi's face, while Kindaichi had a wicked grin.
"Kunimi is afraid he won't be able to impress the girl he likes because he's a virgin," Kindaichi announced.
"Dude shut up!" Kunimi huffed, his face reddening.
Kindaichi had no idea what gift he just gave you. "Aw, don't be embarrassed Kunimi," you replied sweetly, "There's nothing wrong with that. It wouldn't bother me if I was her." Kunimi relaxed and Kindaichi frowned, not having gotten the reaction he wanted. Before anyone could say more, the whistle blew signaling the start of practice.
When practice ended, you approached Kunimi when he was alone. "So tell me about this girl you like," you said.
Kunimi blushed, embarrassed that the pretty second year manager knew about his girl problems. And that he was virgin. "There’s not much to tell. Just a girl in my class who I think is cute. I've only talked to her a few times, but never asked her out. I'm just nervous that I, you know, would embarrassed myself because..." His voice trailed off because he could not bring himself to say it in front of you.
"Listen, you don't have to worry about all that. You're super cute and she'd be lucky to hang out with you," you began, "But if you're really concerned I'd help you."
Kunimi was so surprised you called him cute he couldn't process the second half of your statement. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, if you want, you don't have to be a virgin," you replied, "I'll show you what girls like. that way you'll feel less pressure with this girl after getting your first time out of the way."
Kunimi blinked. He could not believe you of all people were offering to take his virginity. "Are you serious? You're not playing a prank on me with Kindaichi, are you?"
"I swear I'm sincere," you replied, "All that I asked is you don't tell anyone. If the other guys found out, they might be weird about it."
"Of course," Kunimi nodded. He would not risk ruining this for himself. "But could I tell Kindaichi you called me cute. He kinda has a crush on you and I want to rub in his face since he put me on blast like that in front of you."
You chuckled. "Sure, just nothing about us sleeping together, okay?"
"I promise." You made a plan to meet in his dorm next weekend, as his roommate was gonna be away. You figured if he hadn't spilled the secret by then, you could trust him to keep it locked up.
When Saturday rolled around and no one knew of your little plan, you found yourself in Kunimi's dorm. "We totally don't have to do this if you don't want to," Kunimi said, shifting nervously on the bed. You thought his angst was sweet.
"Don't worry Kunimi, I want to," you replied. You placed your hand on his cheek gently. "You're sure you want to?" Kunimi nodded eagerly, making you smile. "Okay, let's start easy then. Kiss me." Kunimi leaned into and pressed his lips to yours. You slid that hand on his cheek to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
Kunimi was a good kisser. His lips moved rhythmically, tongue dipping in and out of your mouth with ease. Both your hands explored each other's bodies, getting used to the feel of the other. You almost got lost in the moment, but then remembered you were here for a purpose.
"What's the furthest you've gone with a girl?" you asked after pulling away. Kunimi's pupils were blown out and it took him a minute to respond, like he almost forgot why he was here too.
"Oh, um fingering," he blushed. His eyes kept flicking down the length of your body.
"Did she cum?"
"Yes," he replied confidently.
You smiled, "Good boy." Kunimi blushed deeper and if you didn't have a lesson to teach you'd want to explore that more. "Is there anything in particular you wanna learn?"
"Yeah, uh, going down on a girl," Kunimi replied, "If you're okay with that."
"I'm very okay with that," you grinned. "Let's work up to it, yeah? Just like you've been doing. Girls like when you kiss them and take your time. Gets us turned on." Kunimi nodded dutifully, returning to your lips. You kissed each other more purposefully now. You stripped each other of your shirts and Kunimi gently squeezed at your tits.
He kissed them both, before progressing lower down your body with a line of kisses. He reached your pants and looked up at you for permission, which you gave. "That was a good move, kissing all the way down. You sure you haven't done this before?"
"Honestly? I saw it in a porno," Kunimi replied, making you chuckle. Kunimi stripped off your pants. You spread your legs wider, allowing him to settle between them. He flushed at the sight of your wetness.
"You know how you were kissing me with tongue before? Start like that and we'll go from there," you told him. Kunimi did as you said and you let out a soft sigh when his lips connected to your pussy. He moved tentatively, trying to find the right rhythm. The more he tasted you, the harder he worked, driven to please you.
"Move your tongue higher. A little bit more oh-" your sentence cut off when his tongue found your clit. Kunimi responded to your moan, focusing his energy to that spot. His tongue flicked and swirled over the sensitive bud, making your hips stir. You threaded your fingers through his hair, holding him where he was, though he wasn't planning to move an inch. "Fuck Kunimi!" you cried out, as your orgasm flooded your body. You didn't even have to pretend to boost his confidence; it was that good.
"Okay, I seriously don't believe you've never done that before," you said when you finally caught your breath.
Kunimi beamed, "I swear it was."
"You ready for the next step?"
Kunimi nodded, his cock heavy in his boxers after experiencing you cumming on his tongue. You undressed him, admiring the length of him and the bead of pre cum that sat at the tip. You wrapped your hand around the base of him, guiding him to your entrance. You slid his tip through your wetness, making him nice and slick.
"Whenever you're ready," you said, eyes flicking up to his.
"Promise you won't laugh if I cum quick?" he asked.
"Promise," you smiled reassuringly.
Kunimi slid himself in slowly, gasping at the feeling of your pussy around him. Of course he'd imagined this moment before, but he couldn't believe how tight and wet and warm it really felt. "Fuck," he groaned, stilling himself for a moment. He knew you wouldn't laugh at him but he really did not want to cum the second he put it in.
"It's okay take your time," you said, "plus it's good to take your time. Girls need a little time to adjust, especially because you're big." Calling his dick big gave him the confidence to keep going. He moved slowly, allowing himself to get used to the feeling of you.
You felt so good, though, it was hard for him to control himself. His thrusts became quicker, desperate. He knew he should slow down, but the feel of you wrapped around him was too good to stop. "So good Kuni, just like that," you encouraged. The fast snap of his hips was working up your already sensitive cunt all over again.
"Y/n, I- shit," Kunimi moaned, unable to stop the orgasm that built in his body. His body stuttered as he released himself inside. The sensation sent you over the edge, making you cream around him. Kunimi let out a strangled breath at the feeling of you squeezing around his sensitive cock.
"Kunimi," you said when he collapsed next to you, panting, "I don't think you have to worry about pleasing girls at all." Kunimi smiled proudly, feeling accomplished that he finally lost his virginity.. Little did he know you were beaming from your own accomplishment. You were over halfway there.
After midterms, the mood on the team lightened. Everyone was excited for the big away game you were at, as you got to spend the night at a hotel. It was a much needed break after all the tests. You were doing rounds, making sure the guys were in their rooms and not making a mess of the place.
"Come in," you heard Oikawa's voice from the other side of the door. You entered his hotel room, finding him alone. "What's up, y/n?"
"Just making sure no ones burning down the hotel," you replied, "Who are you supposed to be staying with?"
Oikawa grinned, stretching out on the large bed in an exaggerated fashion. "Got the whole place to myself. Coach accidentally booked an extra room. I bet Iwaizumi that I could get more service aces and this was my prize for being right."
"Very nice," you replied. The gears started turning in your head; this was an opportunity you could not pass up. "Your fan girls were really something today."
Oikawa shrugged, "Can you blame them? I was playing well."
"I think they are more interested in what you could do off the court," you replied.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Oikawa said with a grin that told you he knew exactly what you were talking about.
You yawned in faux boredom. "I guess I just don't get it."
Oikawa scowled. "What do you mean?"
"No offense, but I just don't picture you at being good at... that," you replied. It was risky calculation to infer you didn't think he was good in bed, it could definitely just piss him off. But if you knew Oikawa, you knew that there was nothing he loved more than proving someone wrong.
"You must have a shitty imagination then," Oikawa replied. After a pause he added, "Let me prove you wrong." You had to stifle your laugh. Looks like you played your cards right.
"Someone's eager," you teased.
Oikawa rolled his eyes. "You're the one who came in here and started talking about sex. I bet this was your goal all along."
You feigned nonchalance, "I was just having a chat with you. But I can't lie, now I'm intrigued."
"Yeah, I bet," Oikawa replied, "Get over here." You followed, joining him on the bed. "For the record, I am going to make you say I was right and you were wrong when I'm done with you." His lips were on yours before you could reply. You both tried to take control, but you eventually submitted to him. You were okay with playing into his ego for the greater good.
Oikawa's hands slid up and down your clothed body. You could tell even then he was good with his touch. He ghosted over your core a few times, never truly touching you. It effectively worked you up. "Wait, I've got an idea," Oikawa said with a devilish grin, "I want you in front of the mirror." He nodded to the large floor length mirror in the corner of the room. Your pussy throbbed at the possibilities.
Oikawa sat you in front of him, your back flush to his chest. He pulled your pants down your legs, smirking at the wet spot on your underwear. "That wet already? You're making this too easy for me, y/n," Oikawa's voice was low in your ear, making you stir. He slid your underwear off slowly, no doubt trying to make you more antsy. His fingers trailed back up the length of your leg, calloused and warm.
A low sigh left your lips when he finally touched your center, dragging his finger through your slick. He teased your clit, getting you more worked up before he really touched you. He slid a finger into you, pressing at that sweet spot inside you in slow, lazy strokes.
"Can feel you sucking me in," Oikawa murmured, "You wanted this bad, huh?" You moaned in response as a second finger slid into you. You could not deny, he was good with his hands. His touch was skillful, easily finding what made your body react. He picked up the pace, fucking you with his fingers as his thumb rubbed at your neglected clit. The sound of his fingers plunging into you was pornographic.
"Look at the mess your making," Oikawa said, nudging you to look in the mirror. His fingers were coated in a wet sheen and you were dripping down onto his thighs, soaking the fabric of his sweats. "Bet you wanna cum, huh? I can tell, can feel you squeezing my fingers."
"Please," was all you could gasp. Your eyes fell down to where Oikawa's fingers disappeared inside you. The pump of muscles in his forearms as his fingers fucked you, the feel of his ever growing hard on rubbing against your ass, it was all too much.
"Hmm, I'll let you cause you said please," Oikawa replied, pressing his thumb faster against your aching clit. You cried out his name as he gripped your thigh with his free had, keeping your legs spread for him. You both watched as you came, your cunt fluttering around his long fingers. Your body went slack against him, but he wasn't finished with you yet.
"I'm feeling generous today," Oikawa smirked as he pulled his cock out of his sweats. His dick was as pretty as he was, long and flushed a soft shade of pink.
"How unlike you." You still had it in you to banter with him. Oikawa chuckled, lifting your hips so he could slide his length into you.
"Prepped you well," Oikawa mused, "can feel you sucking me in." He bottomed out with a low groan. He thrust up into you in long, slow strokes. Your nails dug into his thighs as you savored the roll of his hips.
"Can feel you throbbing in me," you retorted, breathless. "Guess you wanted this too, huh?" You mimicked his words back to him. Oikawa shut you up with a particularly deep thrust, making you gasp.
"What's that? I couldn't hear you." His hips were snapping faster now, chasing his own high. You were right, he did want this. And the second he felt you cum on his fingers he knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he felt you do it on his cock. It didn't take long at this new pace for him to get his wish.
"Shit Oikawa," you moaned, your head falling back on his shoulder. Your body totally melted into his as pleasure consumed you for the second time. Oikawa cursed as you squeezed him, spilling inside you. You watched his face contort in pleasure in the mirror and, damn, he really was pretty. Maybe you did understand those girls after all.
"Looks like I was right," Oikawa panted, with a smug grin.
"Looks you like you were," you replied, keeping your smugness internal. Just one more left. "Just promise me you won't tell anyone. You know how coach is with girl stuff. If he found out, I'd probably be fired."
As much as Oikawa wanted to brag about this, he liked you and didn't want you to lose the position because of him. "It will be our little secret."
You were nervous about approaching Iwaizumi, but with the end of the semester approaching you had to face your fear.
"Hey Iwaizumi, would you by any chance be able to help me in the gym sometime? I've been wanting to get into going, but not sure how to use the machines," you asked him one day after practice. Iwaizumi was an exercise science major and often helped the team with work outs.
"I'd love to, it's actually perfect that you asked." Iwaizumi explained one of his class's final was to create a an exercise plan for someone. "Do you mind if I use this for the project?"
"Not at all! I'm glad to be helping you out, too." You agreed to meet at the gym later that week. There was a small gym at your campus that was for athletes or fitness related majors use only. The night you met, Iwaizumi reserved the gym for the two of you to use.
"I figured you'd be more comfortable if it was just us," he explained.
"I appreciate that. Hopefully it wasn't too much trouble for you," you replied.
Iwaizumi shook his head. "Not at all, we do it all the time for our assignments."
Iwaizumi took you through the machines, showing you how to do different workouts. You wore your favorite workout set, the little bike shorts and sports bra fitting your body perfectly. You could feel Iwaizumi's eyes on you, soaking in your body's movements. His hands were warm and firm on your body as he put you into proper form and you swore they lingers on you. Maybe he was just being thorough, but the stirring in your stomach told you it was more than that.
"You did great," Iwaizumi complimented. "Now I gotta stretch you out." Iwaizumi turned red. "Shit, that sounded bad."
You laughed, "I knew what you meant. I love a good stretch." You smiled with the littlest hint of suggestiveness. Iwaizumi took you into the trainer's room, which was a smaller space that had a little lifted bed in the corner. It looked a bit like like a doctor's office.
"Just hop up there and lay down," Iwaizumi instructed. He took one of your legs in his, pressing it up your body like you were in split. You relished the feeling of his body pressing against you.
"Feels good," you said, your voice infused with satisfaction. It was innocent enough statement, but it made Iwaizumi's pants start to feel tighter.
"You are very flexible," he commented, switching over to the other leg. He was so close to you it was driving you crazy. His body was warm and solid, the result of his own workout regimen. His scent filled your nose, woody and spicy. It was driving you crazy.
The tension was palpable as he set your leg back down. You sat up, your eyes locked on his. His body acted on its' own accord, stepping between your legs and pulling you into him. The kiss was frenzied and deep, both of you the secret desire you harbored for the other.
"Do you wanna..." his voice trailed off, breathless.
"Please," you replied.
"Get on your hands and knees for me," he instructed, his voice sweet. He helped move you into place, positioning himself behind you. Iwaizumi slid your shorts and underwear down, cursing under his breath at your wet cunt displayed for him. He gripped the plush of your thighs, burying his face in you. His mouth moved over you just as desperately as his kissed you, leaving you breathless.
He alternative between sucking and licking at your clit. Each time your body jolted with pleasure, Iwaizumi gripped you tighter, keeping you still for him. He pulled away only once, spreading your ass and spitting between them. He return to sucking at your clit as his thumb circled the tight hole. Finally, he sunk his thumb in your ass, pulling a loud gasp from your lips.
"Fuck Iwa!" you cried at. He was driven by your sweet sighs, using his tongue to fuck your dripping cunt as his thumb pressed into your ass. The sensation cause the pleasure in your lower tummy to snap, crying out his name as your orgasm surged through your body.
"Fuck I need you so bad," Iwaizumi said, "Can't wait to feel you do that on my cock." He repositioned your hips, running his palm down the length of your spine to put you into a nice arch. He pulled his heavy, leaking cock out of his pants, rubbing his tip through your slick folds. You couldn't see the size of him, but by the stretch as he pressed into you, you knew he was big.
Iwaizumi dragged his cock in and out of your cunt, low grunts escaping his lips. You were sucking it in, making it hard for him to keep as slow pace. He gripped your hips for leveraged, throwing more weight into each thrust. It was deep and hard in the best way.
"Don't stop," you urged, feeling your release building again. Iwaizumi was fueled by your words, desperate to feel your pussy fluttering around him. Iwaizumi brought one hand around your body, rubbing fast circles over your already sensitive clit.
The feeling building in your tummy swelled in intensity. The different, strange. You realized a second too late what was about to happen.
"I'm gonna oh-" you broke off into a euphoric gasp as you squirted on Iwaizumi's thighs. Your whole body shook, completely overtaken by pleasure. The combination of you squirting and your cunt spasming around his cock was too much. Iwaizumi let out a low, strangled curse as he shot hot ropes of cum inside you. When his hips finally stilled you, you were both trying to catch your breath.
"I promise I won't right about that last part in my paper," Iwaizumi broke the silence.
You laughed. "I appreciate that. Could I also ask you not to tell anyone on the team about this? I don't want them being stupid about it."
Iwaizumi dreaded the thought of his immature teammates finding out. "Absolutely, it will stay between you and I. And, y/n, I know we did this backwards, but I'd love to take you out."
You grinned, "I'd love that too."
***
"Okay enough counting your money, I need to hear the ranking," your friend said.
"Just making sure I got what I earned," you smirked, "but let's get into it."
You put mad dog in last place, which would probably piss him off. Good thing he'll never know. "It wasn't bad by any means. But I definitely enjoyed the others more."
"I just can't believe you had sex on the courts. I'll never be able too look at them the same again." You laughed, then continued.
Matsukawa was next. "He's very much a boob guy. Honestly, really good with them. If he did more foreplay he could have been higher."
"Very fair."
Kunimi was the middle ground. "He was the dark horse for me. I was surprised how good he was, especially with it being his first time."
"Dude is going places," your friend commented. You had to agree.
It was a tough call between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but you had to put Iwaizumi on top since he made your squirt. "He was so fucking good. And I'm probably biased because I have a crush on him, but I don't care. The evidence speaks for itself."
"Both sound like a great time."
"Absolutely," you nodded, "I understand Oikawa's fan girls more now." You both giggled, then got to planning your outfit for your date with Iwaizumi.
211 notes · View notes
hellfirecvnt · 4 months
Text
Hallelujah, What a Payday
Baby Billy Freeman x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Baby Billy's on the search for his next co-star.
Warnings: Sex with that weird, old man (at the very end.) Religious trauma but with zero detail at all. If I refer to anything as "nonsense" or whatever, that's not about any religion and is only about the silly Gemstone activities.
Notes: Tiffany just doesn't exist here. I love her too much to write that she got left or something. This should've been two parts, but I promised we were gonna fuck him, so. We're also gonna ignore the Baby Billy body-double pp they show in the first episode. Don't even fucking act like that dastardly old man isn't packing.
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"Five minutes, Y/N!" The angry stage manager screams backstage. You perfect your lipstick in the mirror and stand to straighten up your ensemble. You sing a few nights a week at a local lounge/venue for extra money. You're a local hit and it pays the bills.
Across the entire building, a man pays his way inside, tired after days of wasted effort. He sighs as he takes a seat, alone in a VIP booth. They're not cheap, but even if he hadn't sat there, anyone can tell he has money just from the way he dresses.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's entertainment." A smooth voice vibrates over the intercom. You gracefully file out onto the small stage, illuminated well by a single spotlight amongst the mood lighting throughout the lounge. The tired man taps a finger on his table, watching with boredom as he waits for his drink to arrive.
"I'm all out of hope. One more bad dream could bring a fall..." Your voice rings through the air like honey sweetens tea. The lone man at the VIP booth nearly gives himself whiplash with the rate at which he turns to face the source of the illustrious talent. You continue to sing your cover, and slowly he begins to recognize the song.
Your eyes meet his, as you do at every show to engage with the audience.
"It's easy to deceive. It's easy to tease," you slide your hands down your sides, swaying back and forth sensually for this verse. "But hard to get release."
The pianist serves as backup vocals, delivering the iconic lyrics: "Les yeux sans visage."
"Eyes without a face; got no human grace. You're eyes without a face." Your vocals swell and the man stares at you, inspired. His mouth hangs agape with a hopeful smile.
After you finish your set of five songs, you take a small bow and excuse yourself to the bar. The well-dressed man all but trips over himself as he scrambles to meet you over there.
"Double vodka cran, please, Henry." You tell the bartender and he nods, starting your order.
"That's some voice you got there, darlin'." The man appears next to you, smiling a large, white, evangelical grin.
"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the show."
"Well, I more than enjoyed it. You got yourself a gift, now." The man extends his hand. "I'm Baby Billy."
"Baby?" You look at him, perplexed. He explains his backstory a little, insisting you should at least know who his sister is.
"You ain't never heard of Aimee-Leigh Gemstone?"
"Of course I have, I just don't listen to a lot of gospel." You shrug, truthfully hoping the conversation could end there.
"Well, darlin', do you ever sing gospel?" His eyes twinkle in the dimly lit bar area.
"I don't think that'd fare well for me here. This place looks fancy, it's costly to get in, but it's just a bar at the end of the day. No one wants to be preached to." You take a sip of your drink and he watches you closely, noting the pout of your lips as you press them to the glass.
"No, not here. Here." He lies a pamphlet out in front of you, sliding it closer along the bar. "I'm the head preacher at the new church in Locust Grove. Opens in a month."
"A man of God, huh?" You mumble as you skim over the pamphlet. "Does this gig pay?"
"God never asked us to exploit our talents for free." Baby Billy grins. You look him up and down. He's a walking red flag, but it's clear he's got money and as a broke woman on your own, you can never have enough.
"I'm free on weekends. I'll adjust my availability when I know you're serious." You say, stone-faced. Baby Billy hands you his card, passing it smoothly between his index and middle finger. You take it and stand from the bar, walking away, and disappearing into the green room to prepare for another set in an hour. He watches you, still sporting a wide smile as you stand. His eyebrows twitch in short-lived confusion. He pushes all that aside, only one thing matters now. He has his co-star.
Friday afternoon rolls around and Baby Billy attends your show, beaming at you from his expensive, empty VIP booth. He's practically got dollar signs for pupils.
"Friday is a weekday, Billy." You call over your shoulder as you excuse yourself to the bar.
"Baby Billy," he corrects, clinging to his childhood fame with all he has. "It's a brand, now. And who said I'm here for work? Can't a man just enjoy the show?" He follows you to the bar, taking a seat next to you.
"Well, did you enjoy it?" You turn to him with an amused smile. "The show?"
"It was even better the second time around."
"Thank you, Baby Billy," you say, with a knowing emphasis on 'baby.' "I guess I'll be calling you tomorrow, then."
"I'll be ready when you are, darlin'." He smiles warmly and you begin to wonder if you'll ever see him without that goofy, toothy grin stretched across his face.
Saturday morning, you're up, bright and early. You think nothing of the process of getting ready, throwing on a T-shirt and jeans along with various accessories you only get to wear on your days off, so you take every chance.
"This ain't a repeat of that... Lost soul you brought in last time, is it?" Eli settles back in his seat. He's sitting in one of the thousands of seats in the Gemstone Auditorium along with his three children, Judy, Jesse, and Kelvin. Baby Billy stands before them.
"No, damn, Eli. She's perfect for the job. She's got the face, she's got the voice, and most importantly, she's got stage presence." Baby Billy makes a grand case, convincing the Gemstone family that he's found an angel on Earth. Which is why it's all the more shocking when you walk in looking like an entirely different person than the woman he met at the lounge.
Everyone falls silent, they turn to face you as you walk through the door. The second you come into clear view, Judy Gemstone does a poor job of stifling a hateful chortle. Baby Billy meets you halfway, keeping you off to the side before you're front and center in front of everyone.
"The fuck you look like that for?" He asks with a peculiar sense of genuine confusion/ curiosity.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think it'd be a dress rehearsal." You narrow your eyes, placing a hand on your hip.
"When you called me this morning I thought I made it clear what kind of... Environment you might find yourself in." He waves his hands around as he says this.
"Is this an audition or did you scout me out?" You ask with a smirk, looking him up and down.
"Well, hear me out, now. Because if it were up to me, you're hired. But you need to hop up on there and prove to these assholes that I know what I'm doing."
"Playing dress up costs extra," You whisper. Without leaving time for him to respond, you walk ahead of him and confidently offer a handshake to Eli. The two of you become acquainted and he welcomes you to the stage.
As you step out onto the grand platform, it's awkwardly empty. You find yourself almost nervous, which is out of character for you. You've been performing since you were young.
"What am I singing for you today, Dr. Gemstone?" You ask, sensing a little bit of decorum could go a long way here.
"Looks like she's about to start blasting Rob fuckin' Zombie," Jesse, the oldest Gemstone son, quips under his breath. You narrow your eyes at him, clocking his appearance on the spot.
"I think I know what you wanna hear," you smile politely, pointing directly at Jesse. After a quick speed walk to the sound tech, you queue up the track for the song you've chosen. The music starts, and the two youngest Gemstone siblings burst into laughter. Even Eli chuckles.
"Hello, Darlin'. Nice to see you," you start. "It's been a long time, you're just as lovely as you used to be." The joke about Jesse's appearance quickly fizzles away as the Gemstones take in your voice. Baby Billy stands off to the side, gauging their reaction, absolutely elated.
"I told you he was trying to be Conway fuckin' Twitty," Judy whispers to Kelvin.
"Come back Darlin'. I'll be waiting for you..." You finish your song and take an unserious bow. You secure the job, and Eli even commends Baby Billy for finding you. After researching the Gemstones a little bit the night before, you quickly begin to realize how much money you could potentially make here.
"That was fantastic! That old fucker didn't think I could do it," Baby Billy gushes.
"And what did you do, just now?" You side-eye him.
"I found a star." He emphasizes his words with his hands. He's a charismatic and handsome man even given his older age.
"What's next? I'm sure this next month will be pretty busy with rehearsals." You laugh, already contemplating quitting your recurring lounge gig.
"Well, sure. We'll put in the work and all, but," he looks at you expectantly.
"What?" You ask, but he only gestures with his hand as if you should've caught on by now. "Oh, Baby Billy. I don't know if I'll be attending church tomorrow. I'm um, not a Christian."
"Huh," he says, dryly. You scrunch your nose, awaiting an uncomfortable lecture. "You work in this industry for so long, you forget some people aren't religious." He shrugs and you feel a sense of relief.
"I'm not busy today. Care to show me around the Locust Grove church? It's nice to know what I'm going into." He holds the door for you as you step out into the bright parking lot.
"I'd love nothing more." He grins.
At the Locust Grove location, you're wowed by the remodeled mall-turned-megachurch. He gives you the grand tour, specifying that you'd have your own area to get ready before each service.
"This is... A lot," you laugh.
"You're about to make it much more, darlin'." He ushers you up to the stage with him. "Let's give it a go, see how we sound together."
"What song are you thinking?"
"You don't know any gospel?" He peeks over his glasses at you.
"Not really," you shrug. "Well, I know Angel Band and I know Down to The River to Pray from that movie I like."
"Good fuckin' God." He sighs. "Down to The River." He counts off and starts the first verse. His voice is southern, crisp, and clear. You quickly decide in your head what fashion of singing would best compliment his. The chorus approaches and you ready your breath.
"Oh, sisters, let's go down. Let's go down, come on down," your voices melt together pleasingly. You can tell by the look on his face that he likes what he hears. The song ends for the two of you after that first chorus, that's all he needed to hear.
"It's about time something worked out for ol' Baby Billy," he shakes his head. "Now, the next matter to discuss is... Wardrobe."
"Yeah, I figured 'sunday best' would cut it, right?"
"Well, not quite." He leads you to a room past the storage area full of broken, useless mannequins. He walks up to a large armoire and pulls it open. Inside is one dress. It's wrapped in a layer of protective plastic that's done wonders to preserve it. It's campy and dated, though you can tell it was high dollar fashion for its time.
"Baby Billy, I'm not wearing this." You look at him, as if hoping he'll tell you he's joking.
"What? Why not? Now that was Aimee-Leigh's favorite dress," he glances back and forth from you and the dress.
"Okay and it's beautiful, but it looks like it's a hundred years old." You look at the striking piece of clothing again. "This is helpful, though. If this is the kind of look you wanna go for, I think I can make it work."
The two of you spend the rest of your time in the unopened church getting acquainted. You find him charming and entertaining. He finds you beautiful and unintentionally hilarious. You make him laugh often. It's like his own personal ray of sunshine on his shoulder.
It's late when you head to leave. You hardly noticed how long you'd been there. As you open the door to the dark parking lot, you turn to bid Baby Billy goodbye.
"Well, hold on, now, darlin'. Let me walk you to your car." He follows you out the door and to your vehicle. You roll the window down to thank him for the job, pulling your seatbelt over your head.
"I'll see you...?" You wait for him to tell you what day he plans to start practice.
"Monday afternoon, if you can make it." He places a hand on the roof of your car. "Now, listen. I know you ain't the religious type-"
"I will see you Monday, Baby Billy." You interrupt before he has the chance to invite you to church tomorrow. He shrugs, waving to you as you drive off.
That night, as you shower, you wonder if you were too rude with your rejection of his invitation. After all, you grew up going to church. Certainly not a mega church, but a church regardless. It's not a chapter of your youth and adolescence that you hold dear, hence your inclination to stay away from it all.
You set an alarm and wake up early Sunday morning... To get ready for church. You take this outing as a chance to demonstrate to Baby Billy and all the Gemstones that while your personal style may not mesh with their vibe, you've always had a way of blending in.
You put on a white dress with statement sleeves. Something to play off of the whole "voice of an angel" shtick. After perfecting the rest of the look, you leave with a satisfied smile.
You walk through the large double doors to the "Gemstone Worship Center" and look around. It's needlessly gigantic and overwhelming to take in.
"Y/N, is that you, darlin'?" Baby Billy's voice grounds you back on Earth. You turn to face him and he raises his eyebrows, shocked by your range of appearances. "Don't you look pretty this morning?" He grins, admiring your pearly glow in the white garment. He's elated to see you there. Not because he thinks you need church, but because he wanted to see you.
He introduces you to a few colleagues, and even Eli Gemstone reintroduces himself, shocked to learn you're the same woman from yesterday.
"Who is this with you today?" A tall, bald man with a thick African accent asks with a warm smile.
"Now, this is my girl, Y/N," Baby Billy gestures to you like a grand prize. Something about the title "his girl" makes your stomach flip, and you're not sure how you feel about that. "She'll be performing with me at Locust Grove."
The theatrical, pretentious service is long, loud, and feels uncomfortable the entire time, so it's hard to keep your mind and eye from wandering to anything else. Often, you glance at Baby Billy. He's brought you to his seats in the front area, so it's hard to drown the music out entirely, but everything does seem to muffle when you're staring down the white-haired enigma of a man before you.
After service, Baby Billy invites you to join the family at a restaurant called Jason's. You're hesitant at first, but Eli insists. When you arrive, the Gemstones are escorted to a level above the restaurant to a private section for their own VIP dining experience. It's frivolous to you, but it's nice to do something different for once.
After church lunch, the entire group congregates in the parking lot, saying their goodbyes and making promises to see each other next week. You smile politely, though a bit awkward, as you don't really know anyone besides Baby Billy.
"Nice get up, Rob Zombie." Judy Gemstone appears beside you, seemingly complimenting you, but she's just as confused as you are.
"Thank you, Judy. I just wanted to show that I know how to fit into a crowd."
"Yeah, well. You're not so bad, up there, on stage." Her tone sounds like she's accosting you, but her words sound genuine. As if she's not sure how to... Just be nice without intimidation tactics. "Singer to singer, don't let Uncle Baby Billy ride your coattails too hard." She struts off, linking arms with her husband and loading up into their lavish vehicles.
You feel a sense of comfort now, knowing Judy is just like that. It's nice to know you have another woman in the mix that you can look to as an acquaintance. Slowly, but surely, you find yourself melding into the atmosphere that follows people like Baby Billy around. You begin to feel more comfortable around the rest of the church leaders, though you realize rather quickly that there isn't much talk about God. It's nice.
As the weeks go by, you meet up with Baby Billy for practice every day. It's not the schedule you meant to give him, you just find yourself wanting to see him more and more. You delight in the strange way he talks and his charming mannerisms. You also think it's really funny when something goes wrong and he's suddenly not grandpa sunshine anymore, and he's kicking a speaker calling it a dick.
As the rehearsal window comes to a close, you and your co-star are inseparably close. On more than one occasion, one of you has slipped up and gotten a little too comfortable.
"Baby Billy, why does the mirror say something about washing my hands keeping me safe from Satan?" You ask, returning from the restrooms.
"That was song lyrics from back in mine and Aimee-Leigh's day," he laughs.
"Well, how do clean hands keep me safe in the eyes of the Lord?" You furrow your brow, in disbelief that anyone could believe this. Baby Billy is tinkering with the stage lights as they two of you converse.
"Well," he says, still messing with the light. "Just like those hands can commit sins, they can be washed clean by his mercy." He chuckles as if he already knows he's going to overstep. "Those look like sinner hands to me, darlin'." He winks.
"Sinner hands?"
"Ain't you ever done anything with those hands? Something the Lord might not smile upon?" He continues with his back to you, finally flicking on the light after his adjustments. Your face is hot and red with the realization of what he meant.
"Oh, yeah. I guess so." You shrug. Baby Billy turns to face you, taking a few steps closer. He's a good deal taller than you, so his lanky frame looms over you in a way that makes your stomach flip. He's barely a foot away, smiling down at you.
"You guess so," he repeats, tilting his head and grinning, letting the silence thicken for a moment. You give up on trying to fight back the blush in your cheeks, there is no way around it.
"Well, I guess let's get back to it," you clap your hands once in front of you as if to break up this moment and you take your position. Baby Billy just laughs and leaves you with a lingering confusion. The rest of the day, you can't seem to keep your head clear. A flip has switched and you find yourself lusting after this televangelist old man.
The two of you wrap up rehearsals for the day, but instead of leaving, you linger behind a little longer. You're unsure if it's nerves telling you to practice more, or if it's just you wanting to be around him.
"Next week is opening day," Baby Billy grins. The excitement is clear on his face with that brilliant, big smile. He takes a seat next to you and you both face the large, beautifully lit and decorated stage.
"That fast, huh?" You chuckle, trying to laugh away the knot in your throat so you don't have to swallow it.
"You're gonna be great up there," he says, catching you off guard. He seems to have mistaken your unexpected attraction as pre-show nerves. "Right next to ol' Baby Billy Freeman. This is a big break for you."
"Oh, it is?" You laugh.
"Look, I'm serious, now. The right ears hear us and we're signed and touring," he snaps his fingers. "Like that!"
"You sure you could handle being on the road with me? I'm kind of a diva," you joke. "If I don't get my beauty sleep, I look like a dead bug and I'll hit someone." Baby Billy bursts into laughter.
"I don't think a lack of sleep or even a semi-truck could deter what you've got goin', sweetheart."
"What do you mean?" You ask through a laugh.
"You're a looker, darlin'. You walk into a room and draw everybody's eye." His hands are animated as he speaks.
"Oh, yes. Flattery will get you everywhere," you laugh, lightly shoving his arm playfully.
"I mean it, now. You the prettiest girl I know." He shrugs.
"You're not so bad yourself." You smirk, leaning closer to him than you realized. He notices the closing gap and can't help himself, he leans toward you as well. Time seems to slow down just for a moment as you two share this closeness.
He glances at your lips, and then back up to your eyes. Your heart begins to race before the sudden, loud crash of the stage light Baby Billy messed with hitting the stage with great weight. You both sit up, startled by the sound, jumping away from the close quarters you'd just been in.
"Oh, uh," you regain your grip, realizing what poor business practice has just nearly taken place. You've fucked your boss before. You know it doesn't end well... "I should get going."
You stand and readjust your skirt, smiling nervously as you start toward the door. Baby Billy stands too, hopelessly searching for his next sentence, but for the first time in his life, he seems unable to find the words.
"Same time tomorrow, darlin'," he calls out to you as you step out the door. He takes a step over to the stage, sitting down and exhaling a big breath. What an old fool he'd have to be to think you'd want anything to do with him when you're so young-spirited and beautiful? Will that stop him? No. It won't.
The last few days leading up to the grand opening are full of those small, close encounters. One day, you tripped during dance practice and practically landed in his arms. You two locked eyes and it would've been done for right then if a janitor hadn't walked through the stage door. Another time, you were high up on a ladder, making Baby Billy hold it steady out of fear. The entire time you're above him in your dress rehearsal skirt, he can't seem to fight the perverted urge to glance up. When he does, he nearly loses his bearings. His face ignites red and he can't help but smile ear to ear.
It's no secret to either of you that some kind of tension has been brewing. Even the Gemstone siblings share a look of confusion when they see you two forget anyone else is in the room. Neither of you seems to notice how long your eye will linger on the other.
The Sunday of the Church's debut sneaks up on you after the last few days of having nothing but Baby Billy on the brain. You're less nervous about performing and more nervous about seeing him again. It's as if every time you two come together, the palpable tension in the air becomes thicker. You're certain you'll lose the ability to breathe the air around you if it gets any worse.
"You ready to make some magic, darlin'?" An excited Baby Billy startles you as he intrusively enters your dressing room.
"My God, don't you knock? I could've been naked," you laugh, perfecting your makeup in the mirror.
"I don't think you'd hear any protest from me, sweetheart." He winks and makes a quick getaway. To be honest, he wasn't quite meaning to say that part out loud. You're left red-faced and pleasantly shocked. The comments between the two of you have been growing more bold by the day, but that one takes the cake... So far.
You get dressed in your opening night outfit. It's a bit different than the one you wore to rehearsals. It's nicer, fancier, flashier, without all the dated glitz of Aimee-Leigh's 80's-esque dress that Baby Billy attempted to lend you.
It hadn't occurred to you that Baby Billy hadn't seen this outfit of yours. But his beaming, smiling face when the two of you step out in front of the crowd from opposite ends of the stage gives you a needed stroke of your ego. He holds an arm out to you, inviting you to his side as he introduces you and himself. It was established early in the arrangement that he'd do most of the talking, so you put on your best "quiet and pretty" act. You clap when the crowd claps, and you throw your hands up in "praise" when it seems appropriate.
Anyone who'd met you before this performance is genuinely confused by who they're watching right now. They expected you to give a hell of a singing show, they didn't expect you to play the full part so well. As you told them, you know how to blend in. The surge of energy that comes with any performance this in-depth carries you throughout the whole service.
With each song you sing, with or without Baby Billy, you cannot stop yourself from looking at him, over and over. Fuck the tension, something is building up inside of you and the adrenaline of the stage is only making it worse, for both of you.
Baby Billy bids the crowd farewell and you give a gentle wave as the two of you exit the stage, arm in pining arm. The very second the stage exit door closes behind you, muffling the sounds of the cheering and dispersing crowd, you and Baby Billy fall still, silent, and stare at each other for barely one breathless second and then your lips are on his. You both stumble for a moment before he steadies you, pressing you up against the nearest wall.
"God damn, Y/N," he whispers between hungry kisses. You pull away for just a second, just enough time to ask a question.
"My dressing room or yours?" Baby Billy answers that inquiry by reconnecting his lips to yours and guiding your intertwined bodies to his dressing room. It's the closest. The two of you stumble through the door and straight to the lengthy couch meant to make the room look more glamorous. He lies you back on the cushions and his two careful hands begin to wander.
"Darlin, you look incredible in this get-up," he huffs. "But I can't wait till I get it off of you." He quickly unfastens the buttons of your blouse and groans roughly just at the sight of your lacey bra-clad breasts. Soft, breathy moans escape your lips over and over as he gropes at you and grinds against you. "Now, you don't mind where this is goin', do ya?"
"No, shut up," you chuckle, pulling his mouth back to yours. Your hands rake through his hair and find their way down to his expensive, flashy belt buckle. He sits back on the couch, legs hanging off with his Italian leather shoes resting on the floor. He spreads his knees and you take your position between them. You're breathless with excitement as you free his erection from his slacks. The moment you wrap a hand around his shaft, you feel him still growing harder in your hand.
"God damn it," he sighs, tossing his head back against the couch. He wraps one hand in your hair, guiding your lips toward the head of his cock. "Come on, now. Don't make me beg for it." You chuckle at his eagerness, but you do as he says, wrapping your lips around his tip. Baby Billy sighs with relief as you slowly welcome him into your mouth. He gasps as you press your nose to his waist, taking his full length in your throat.
You bob your head up and down, still riding an adrenaline high that's enough to power through even the worst of neck cramps. He calls out small exclamations and whispers sensual praise, all of which makes the heat between your thighs burn hotter.
His moans become more and more vocal until he roughly pulls your head away, jerking you by the hair. You gasp at the pain, but it only fuels your fire.
"Get on up here, now. Let an ol' man get his kicks," he quips, helping you out of the floor before you take your place, lying before him on the couch. He buries his face in your neck, kissing away up and down your flesh as he continues undressing you. He unfastens the rest of the buttons on your blouse, slipping a hand under your bra and squeezing your breast eagerly.
"Come on, don't make me beg for it," you mimic his words, sliding your skirt up your legs, and exposing your panties. They're wet with arousal and he grins at the sight.
"I might just like to hear a pretty young thing like you beg to get fucked by the pastor." He grins deviously, pressing a gentle hand to your clit over the panties. "All this for me?" He chuckles, basking in the effect he has on you. After what feels like ages of teasing and edging, he slips the drenched underwear from your legs. The white-haired man stares in awe at your throbbing core, extending a hand to play with you.
He slips one digit inside you, earning a filthy, needy moan from your chest. Your mouth hangs agape with a gasp as he pumps his finger in and out of you, staring deeply into your shining eyes. He shakes his head, amused by his power over you and also in disbelief at the position he's in at this moment. Just a month ago you were a stranger with a beautiful voice on a stage he'd never taken a second look at. Since then, you've been the object of all his desires. How could he ever imagine you'd feel the same?
"Oh, my God! Please," you whine, arching your back as he fingers you. He chuckles, unsure how he's holding himself back. It must be how much he's enjoying the show.
"Shhh," he whispers, adding another finger. Guttural moans of heated pleasure pour from your lips like a waterfall. He eats up every second of it.
"You're doin' real good, now, darlin'." He positions his twitching erection at your aching entrance, playing with your arousal with the head of his cock. "Keep being good for me," he says as he slips himself inside. A long, needy cry escapes you as he slowly sinks to his hilt.
You stare up at him, locking eyes as his mouth hangs slightly open. He's breathless as your tightness squeezes him just right.
"Aw, damn, sweetheart," he groans, pulling back only to quickly slide back in. "You're somethin' else." He grunts and moans as he thrusts in and out of you, hastily picking up his pace. For an older man, he's incredibly virile. He fucks you for what feels like hours but is surely only a handful of steamy minutes. You squirm and whine beneath him as he steadily guides you to your climax.
"I- I'm-" you try to speak, but it's too late, he's fucking you into oblivion, riding out your high with a bright white, goofy smile on his face. He loves watching your face contort as you soak him with your orgasm.
"I hope you ain't done yet, sweetheart," he chuckles, sliding out of you. "Flip on over, now, darlin'. Let me get a look at that perfect ass you got." His praise ignites a wave of goosebumps across your skin. You do as he says, turning over and assuming a position on all fours, presenting yourself to him perfectly. He releases a breathy laugh, slapping both hands down on each ass cheek.
Baby Billy tightens his grip on your glutes and fervently tugs at you until you're lined up with his swollen cock. He slips inside you again, thrusting away at maximum pace. Your ass jiggles as he slams into you and he's hypnotized by the sight. His goofy grin has fallen to a serious expression as he chases his climax. He mumbles curse words and praise under his breath while pressing your back downward to amplify your arch.
"God damn, just look at you," he huffs, coming closer and closer to completion. "Whatever you want, Y/N, just say the word," he grunts between heavy breaths. "And it's yours, darlin'." You laugh at the way he offers you the world just from how good he feels inside you. It's a high compliment.
"B- Ba-!" You attempt to beg for mercy, but he's quick to cut you off.
"Shh, shh, now, sweetheart. Just... A little more," he groans, quickening his thrusts as he ends his sentence. He slams into you impossibly hard, incredibly fast, with both hands hooked around your waist. You release sensual cries of pleasure as he chases and finally catches his climax.
He withdraws from you, breathless and sweating. A string of lusty moans drips from his lips as he strokes himself until he finishes all over your ass. He stutters out a grunt before collapsing back on the couch. You're breathless, fucked out with your face buried in the cushion. The two of you fall silent for a moment as you catch your breath.
"Baby Billy?" You break the silence.
"Yeah, darlin'?"
"Could you pass me, um, a towel?"
"Oh!" He scrambles to his feet, tucking away his softening length. His unfastened belt jingles as he makes his way across his dressing room and grabs a towel from the neat, little stack of hand towels. "Allow me," he whispers, still catching his breath, as he wipes your skin clean, allowing you to comfortably collapse as well. He joins you on the couch, buckling his belt and straightening up his suit.
"That was... Amazing..." You sigh, somehow a little shocked at how well he just fucked you.
"It certainly was, Y/N. It certainly was." He lies back on the couch, allowing his eyes to fall shut. A hand reaches up to fix his disheveled hair. "Let's get them drawers back on you, now. We're late for Church Lunch."
You regain your composure and fix your clothes, sliding your panties back up under your skirt. After fixing your hair and your smudged makeup, you're ready to head to Jason's. You and Baby Billy arrive a few minutes after everyone else, and you take your seats next to each other. The table seems to grow quiet when you two join.
"Don't everybody start talkin' at once, now." Baby Billy looks up and down to both ends of the table. "What'd we miss?"
"From the sound of it, you didn't miss anything, Uncle Baby Billy," Judy scoffs. Baby Billy gives you a knowing look, grinning at you sweetly.
"No, Judy, I did not." He beams, proudly, placing an arm around your shoulder and planting a kiss on the side of your forehead.
•••••
Taglist: @justme12200 //
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.....does anyone else get the vibe that the limitless expanse of the internet, media, and consequent ability to interact politically, spiritually, and apathetically with people locally and globally maybe had an influence not only on the individual's relation to the collective but also their ability to participate in it and see their significance to it?
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Can we talk about it?
Like I feel like as some who was a frontline activist and now is a disabled social activist who dabbles in radicalizing liberals... The wall I and my peers continuously keep running into is the collective feeling that someone else will do it.
"it" being whatever action.
For me it's signing a petition, protesting, donating, community organizing (both online and offline).
We get tons of interest on stuff. Interest which very rarely translates to doing more than showing a poster to the friend theyre with before trashing it, reblogging a post, or hitting "interested" or like when we post local events.
And on All these platforms posts gets to a point of "enough" responses where ppl just stop responding and sharing, too.
On Tumblr you see this a lot with donation posts and people constantly having to make new ones. Cuz they're getting notes, but not tangible assistance that will help them. And the reblogs stop because there are so many notes that ppl start assuming that the goal was met or will be met soon.
But that isn't what's happening. And like I said this isn't just with donation posts or money so the answer isn't "well ppl are broke" which would be an easy and sensible answer.
Honestly, I've been thinking that with so Many people easily accessible online with so many opinions and varying levels of popularity and followers that it's easy to lose yourself in them. Especially now when so much of life takes place online.
It's so easy to think you're just one of those many people. ....So surely nobody would notice if you were being a little facetious, right?
Gonna be real, it seems a lot to me like a lot of people are trying to hide their lack of integrity through the anonymity offered online.
And like sure maybe nobody would notice if it was just a few people being facetious about supporting something but it's SO MANY (in my experience? Upwards of a thousand once) and Everywhere. Online, offline, and apps.
And the thing that makes it weird is that every one is assuming that people are being more helpful than they are. That more people are showing up.... Even though they themselves are not showing up either. Like I said reblogs for donations stop, shares stop, and only a handful of ppl show up to events irl. You can literally compare reblogs to the signatures when a petition is being shared.
Wanting to show up isn't the same as showing up.
"People" are not coming to change or show up to the revolution. It's you. You are the people. You are the people that need to show up. Not just as a notification on my screen but actually, because you think someone else will have enough integrity to show up for you but they don't.
Your integrity matters.
You matter so much. I don't know what it is behind this mass behavior that has y'all acting otherwise but I'm telling y'all right now that YOU and the choices that YOU make matter. The events that you choose to spend your time at and how you spend your energy and protecting your rights matters!
That isn't some "im just another drop fighting an endless battle in the ocean" kind of deal.
I'm telling you from experience: there is no ocean! We are in a fucking drought and every drop matters.
Show up. Nobody else is doing it on your behalf.
.......or is it just me? Has anyone else noticed this
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lakesbian · 7 months
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i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it
so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough
worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!
one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.
the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.
i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.
the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.
and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.
*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign
as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:
there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!
worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.
worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel
overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)
oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.
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Note
This is a pretty serious topic, so feel free to not answer if you don't want to.
How would the Sdv and Sve bachelor/ette's react to the Farmer (who's their partner) flinching when they moved suddenly? As in, the farmer subconsciously thought their partner was about to hit them
Oof...
Pretty dark topic, but I want pain and glass so why not 🥲 Thanks so much for the question, dear anon 💕
⚠️Warning: angst, mention of past abusive relationship/physical abuse, mention of domestic violence, swearing, and a lot of hurt/comfort
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Stardew Valley:
SDV bachelors:
Shane had never had such a desire to break someone's nose. To punch with all his might, to break a jaw, to knock out teeth, to make the bastard who dared to raise a hand against Farmer regret their cowardice and wish they'd never been born. Too bad they're somewhere far away... No, it's not a pity, let this fucking asshole die in their hellhole. What's important right now that Farmer's here, and Shane's gonna be right there with them. He's gonna suggest that Farmer go to therapy. It really helps, Shane's realized that himself. And he'll be there for Farmer, he'll never leave them. And would never hit them.
Alex knows all too well why Farmer flinched like that, and his heart filled with rage. The same way his mom clutched herself, hiding her face from the heavy hand of her alcoholic husband... The very thought that his dearest Farmer, the love of his life, had thought he would hit them, that Alex would be like his father, made him shiver with unbridled hatred for whoever had made Farmer feel that way. But the athlete will calm himself down, and do whatever it takes to help and protect Farmer. He would never, ever hit them. Never.
Sam has a look of utter confusion on his face. "Babe, what's wrong?" The young guitarist was just chasing flies, and now doesn't understand why Farmer hid their face in their hands. Is something wrong? Why do they look like they're crying? When Farmer tells him the reason (which they were previously afraid to tell), Sammy's heart just cracks to pieces. He will put his arms around Farmer and slowly rock them. If they are comfortable, Sam will listen to them carefully and try to cheer them up, showering them with kisses and affectionate words.
Elliott would simply become speechless. "My love, you didn't think I'd..." He can't even get the words out. He knows that Farmer's relatives treated them horribly, his partner have told the writer about it. He knows that recovering from such trauma will not be easy or quick. Elliott won't leave them alone with the trouble. But did they really thought that Elliott would allow himself to fall so low and raise his hand against them? The writer's in tears. It hurts him, but Elliott is in no way angry with Farmer. No, he loves them with all his heart.
Sebastian would never forget the moment in his childhood when his biological father was ready to slap him. Luckily, Robin managed to catch the man's arm before that, and Sebby never saw his bio father again. As he grew older, Sebastian realized exactly what that man had intended to do. He was disgusted to even think of doing that to anyone, much less the person he loves and adore endlessly. He would take the Farmer's hands, look them in the eye, and tell them that he loved them and would never, under any circumstances, raise a hand against them.
Harvey will put Farmer in a hug, but the doctor still won't be able to hold back the tears. Harvey knows that Farmer has only recently, on the advice of their beloved husband, sought professional help, that progress won't be immediate, and that it takes a very long, long time to work at it. But for Harvey, every time Farmer flinches at their husband's sudden movement is like the first time - shock, confusion, sadness, pain. And even worse when the Farmers began to blame themselves for this behavior. No, Farmer, it's not your fault. Harvey won't let their partner think it's their fault.
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SDV bachelorettes:
Abigail is hella confused.... Why are they flinched? Wha- What do they mean!? She loves Farmer, how did they even think of that?! Abby got angry, but would quickly cool down and start apologizing to an even more frightened Farmer. She didn't mean to yell at them like that, but the image that her partner thought she would take a swing at them just threw her off. Ugh, if those creeps who had hurt Farmer came to the Valley, then the amethyst lover would pelt them with such stink bombs that even the skunks would turn their noses away from them. Hehehe, good thing that made Farmer laugh. Right, fuck those bastards.
Leah can't believe her ears. Farmer, she is holding an axe! How could they think that their wife would dare swing at them with a sharp axe?! The fact that someone actually tried to swing something like that at Farmer made the blood in the artist's veins boil. She wasn't angry at Farmer, naturally, but at the bastard who'd treated Farmer like that. And don't let her partner worry: if their ex abuser dared to come in the Stardew Valley, Leah would definitely use her axe... Okay, maybe not so radical, but this person won't lay a finger on her precious partner. She'll defend them to the last, that's for sure.
Penny is a very peaceful, fragile and gentle girl. How can anyone imagine that she is capable of such a thing - to hit Farmer, love of her life? For a young teacher, family is sacred! Her spouse, her children, it's... She will never agree with the people who justify violence and abuse with "discipline" or "tough love". For in Penny's mind, someone who can easily hurt a loved one is not worthy of those loved ones. The red-haired girl bursts into tears. She cannot calmly see how Farmer is scared and hurt because of their ex. But she will find the way to help them. Together, they will overcome it.
Maru was upset at first, because she thought that the Farmer was afraid of her next invention (she could not forget the humiliating incident when they were electrocuted). Only after a couple of seconds Maru realized that they looked with fear not at her device lying on the table, but at herself. She doesn't understand what's wrong. It's not like she has any super dangerous wires or parts with her, see? What? The Farmer thought Maru was going to... hit them? She loves them! Never, you heard her, Farmer, she would never....
Emily is a person who values life and the comfort of every creature. Happiness and positive emotions for everyone around her, especially for her close people and friends. Because of this, the very thought of Farmer hiding their face from what they thought was a punch made the blue-haired girl upset. Farmer had told her about their... not-so-good relatives, who left her lover with this trauma. Emily tries her best to make the house as comfortable as possible for Farmer, and they know it and will always be grateful to their loving wife.
Haley had had partners in the past who, as she found out later, lived by the principle of "beats means love". She wouldn't let those pieces of shit around her anymore, and made a promise to herself never to get involved with such people and never to fall to their level. And Farmer flinched so much at Haley's sudden movement made her remember her exes. She is furious. But right now, the most important thing to her was her beloved Farmer. Haley apologizes for the sudden move, shares her experience and wisdom on how she handled the abuse earlier, and assures Farmer that she will never do to them what Haley's exes tried to do to her.
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Stardew Valley Expanded:
SVE bachelors:
Lance had many swordsmanship and magic teachers in his youth. Almost all of them were excellent and taught him many things that helped him in life. There were some that set impossible conditions for Lance, and when he failed, took up their tools to punishment... Lance had the guts to stand up to it, and there were also people who stood up for him. Farmer didn't have anyone to help then, and Lance won't let that happen again. He genuinely loves Farmer and he wouldn't dare let himself fall so low. They vowed to each other to share both joy and sorrow together. Lance will always love them.
Magnus faced various conflicts when he was married for the first time. Misunderstandings, quarrels, arguments - it's quite natural for a couple. But the wizard would never, ever raise a hand against his partner, and he would despise anyone who justified violence and abuse of authority. He would immediately calm the shuddering Farmer and begin to comfort them. If those pathetic excuse of humans showed up at their farm, Magnus would disintegrate them with a snap of his fingers. Ministry rules? There's a one rule in the Mage Law that allows the use of magic for self-defence and the protection of loved ones. So let the Farmer not worry about this.
Victor, overwhelmed with the good news about his bridge-building practice, raised both arms to hug Farmer, but immediately pulled back when he saw how much they flinched. "Honey, did I do something wrong?" "You didn't... You're not going to hit me, are you?" "What?...." If anyone heard the sound of cracking glass, know this - Victor's heart had shattered into a thousand shards. The spaghetti lover was confused for a few moments, but pulled himself together and cautiously approached the Farmer. Victor hugged them tightly, allowing his partner to snuggle into his shoulder and cry while Victor listened to them, slowly rocking and covering them with kisses.
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SVE bachelorettes:
Olivia is not mad at Farmer in any way. And quickly put a stop to all their attempts to make themselves look guilty for being so flummoxed by the sudden movement of Olivia's hand. Her partner has been victimized in the past by the simply disgusting treatment from the scum who dared to reach out their paws to Farmer has spurred Olivia to pull up all her connections in the city. She knows their names and all the information she needs to turn their lives into a nightmare. In the meantime, Olivia herself will devote all her attention to her precious Farmer and family.
Claire could not have imagined that her desire to show her partner a new ballet movement she had learnt would end like... this: Farmer shivers slightly and looks at the red-haired girl with a share of fear, while Claire stands still, motionless as if struck by lightning. The former Jojarmart cashier slowly and carefully walks over to Farmer and asks permission to hug them. The Farmer agreed, of course, and before launching into an endless stream of words about how it was their own fault, Claire only reassured them and continued to hug them. She was now too shocked that the Farmer had thought Claire would dare to injure them....
Sophia was completely unaware of what had just happened: the pink-haired girl raised her hand for her partner to high-five, but instead they covered their heads with their hands as if expecting a punch. Had she done something wrong? What, did the farmer really expect a punch? She... She... If Sophia tried to say anything, Farmer wouldn't understand anything anyway - the flood of tears on Sophia's face and the lump in her throat from crying interrupted all words. She would hug the Farmer, hold onto them like a lifeline and sob. She would say through her sobs that she loved them very much and would never be a monster like those who had hurt Farmer.
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omppupiiras · 20 days
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a quickkkk rough translation if anyone's interested:
"I put ketchup on almost all foods"
Artist Jere Pöyhönen is not a morning person and he uses the snooze-button, and you shouldn't ask for cleaning tips from him. In his daily life he tries to avoid unnecessary complaining, because at the end of the day things are pretty good.
In the morning when I wake up, I hit the snooze button and keep laying in bed. Sometimes I snooze for 1-2 hours if I'm not in a hurry to get anywhere. I am for sure a night person, so my mornings are slow.
For breakfast I usually eat porridge, to which I add peanut butter and honey, and with it I have a cup of berry tea. Breakfast is something I've tried to get better at, because when you're in a rush it's easy to skip it.
To me it's a luxury to spend relaxed time with my close ones. The best thing is to spend a slow evening with friends, for example a barbeque party. Friends and food - there's no better combo!
I get inspiration for cooking from my mom. Mom likes trying different foods, and everytime I visit I grab a few recipes for my backpocket. Last time I made a chicken and potato casserole dish inspired by my mom.
In my shopping basket you'll often find chili-cheese-sausages and an energy drink. The latter I've tried very hard to consume less. They're not good for your teeth or wallet.
My specialty dish is thai mince meat with rice. For seasoning I use oyster sauce, garlic, sugar, basil and chili. When I was younger I liked to bake a lot, but I stopped when I moved out on my own.
I wish I'd learn to eat more regularly, every few hours. When your job is being on the move, sometimes the times between meals get too long. When you're hungry it's easier to snack on treats, like chocolate and chips.
My normal home evening ends in front of the TV either on the living room couch or in my bedroom. Usually I always watch a tv show or a movie before bed.
My best money saving tip is buy discounted food items at a good price. Then it's handy to immediately put them in the freezer at home and cook later.
I scrimp on bread toppings, like cheeses and cold cuts. I'm not brand loyal with them and usually choose what i grab first.
I get fancy with my glögi, I am its biggest consumer! It's my favorite drink and I have it all year.
My everday superpower is that I don't take things too seriously. Everyday I am grateful for what I get to do for a living, and I don't ever take it for granted. In general I think it's good to avoid complaining too much and try to keep a positive mindset: at the end of the day things are pretty good.
I clean at home about once a week, but I admit, I could be better. I don't spend a lot of time at home, so sometimes my clothes get everywhere and the dishes get piled up in the sink. You shouldn't ask for cleaning tips from me!
My guilty pleasure is squirting ketchup in mince meat soup. It tastes excellent in there. In general I have ketchup with pretty much all foods.
My Pirkka hack is using baking soda to get rid of stains. It's especially great with textiles. With baking soda I've gotten rid of many stains and dirt off of the couch.
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waitineedaname · 1 year
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shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in
Edward Elric
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considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10
Most of the Amestrian military
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pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10
Fu and Lan Fan
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these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.
Ling and Mei
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on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts
Greedling and Bradley
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it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.
Greed
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THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense
Lust
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okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.
Father and Izumi
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guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect
Envy
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PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10
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rockdwarftv · 6 months
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So, you wanna play a Pokémon TTRPG
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But you don't have the time to manage 1K entries in a book? Well, I'm working on the thing for you! PokéD6.
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Now that I've show you my character sheet concept, let me break down some of the things on it. The biggest thing anyone will notice right away is the lack any numbered stats. This system converts existing BSTs (Base Stat Totals) into a 6 point grade. Above, each black diamond (✦) represents one point of that stat's grade. And any pre-existing pokemon can have it's BST quickly converted by simply dividing any given stat's total by 36 and rounding up, to a max of 6! Each grade also has an associated number of dice, which are always equal to the grade itself, and an associated modifier. A stat's modifier is equal to it's grade plus it's IVs. IVs, represented by the hollow diamonds (✧), have also been simplified down into a single dice roll per stat. So, whenever you capture a new pokemon, roll 6d6. Like with stat grades, each diamond represents the IVs value. IVs cap out at 3.
But, you may find yourself asking, what do Stat Dice and Stat Modifiers even do?
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Currently, they're for combat! While the attack itself determines how much damage it can do, the pokemon's stats determine if the attack hits, it's minimum damage, how hard they are to hit, and even how much they can reduce the damage! When attacking, say with a Physical Move, the attacking pokemon rolls 1d6 + their ATK Modifiers against the defending pokemon's DEF Modifier + 3. If the attack hits, roll the move's Power and add any bonuses given. Such as Same Type Attack Bonus (STAB) or type effectiveness. The defending pokemon rolls their DEF Dice, subtracting their result from the Power roll.
Power has now been converted into d6s, to find a pre-existing move's Power divide it's power by 25 and round up! With the exception of very high damaging moves, most moves deal 1d6 to 6d6 damage.
So a move like Tackle deals 2d6 damage.
I could go on, but for now I want to leave this here and just see what people think! I've enjoyed working on it and am pretty close to being able to do a simple beta of it. So, have a copy of the pdf and lemme know what you think!
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EDIT (4/20/24): Yo what if I just suddenly dropped even more rules in this post? Yea? Yea! So here's how trainers work!
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Trainers are divided into four Careers; Field Researcher, League Challenger, Contest Coordinator and Pokemon Breeder! These careers determine starting gear, recommend a set of skills (more on those later!!!), and determine how the player can make money. Field Researchers are basically the intern equivalent of a Professor's Aide! They go out, encounter as many new pokemon as possible, and get paid a weekly salary! They can even earn bonuses for finding odd pokemon, such as ones with unusual movesets~! League Challengers are pokemon trainers like in the games! Beat gyms, get badges, take on the champion. Easy as! They get paid based on the trainers they defeat, which can be picked up at a PokeCenter or just given to them immediately. Contest Coordinators focus on training pokemon for Gen 3 style'd Contests! They make money by winning contests, with each rank paying out higher rewards! And lastly, Pokemon Breeders! Like the name says, they make their money by breeding and raising pokemon at the requests of the Pokemon League or other trainers. The more specific the request, the more money they earn for it!
Trainers also have skills! These work a lot like Stat Grades, but they don't have an associated modifier. When making a trainer, a player picks 6 skills out of 12. Players then have 18 points to distribute however they want into those 6 skills, up to a maximum of 5. The other skills are left at 1. The skills available are: Archeology, Cheering, Climbing, Cooking, Fishing, Foraging, Knowledge, Nursing, Riding, Sneaking, Spotting and Swimming!
I'm currently working on reformatting the doc so enjoy the new tidbits for now! See you again when I've finished the doc!
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f1crecs · 7 months
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Fic Rec List - Charles/Max AUs
if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let us know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍
have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.
don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments
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of course we can, anonymous 🫡
enjoy!
On the Ice by @f1tyreslightmyfyre | T | 5.5k Max is a hockey player, and Charles is a figure skater! Cue a lot of teasing and romance. This was so cute!!! I absolutely loved the teasing and the dynamics between Charles and Max. So much fluff! It was also based off of an artwork in the community that everyone needs to see too!
'Max knows that he probably stares like a lovesick puppy, but who can blame him? “Am I dreaming?” He says by way of greeting. “Or is that you, pretty boy?” Charles doesn’t quite roll his eyes as he scoffs in amusement. “Yeah, of course, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.” He skates in a lazy, easy circle around Max. “I know I’m irresistible, but I know you can do it.”'
nsfw: chemical (can't let go) by @alphatinies | E | 8k Max is in a club bathroom when suddenly, his rut hits. It turns out– his ex, Charles, is willing to help him through it. Even if they broke up 3 months ago. I really loved the A/B/O dynamics! It was a fantastic read and I love the raw dialogue and want that Max has for Charles. Nothing is ever really over!
'They broke up three months ago. Coming here is not only humiliating, but also stupid—they haven’t talked since the break-up, agreed on a clean cut, pretending not to know each other whenever their friend circles happen to cross paths. They’re mature about it. Mostly.'
all this happened, more or less by @lightningmickqueen | ? | 10.3k In lockdown, a popstar named Escalier Des Fleurs has taken storm. It turns out he's a familiar face: Charles Leclerc. And– he's singing about his crush, Max Verstappen. I loved this fic so much! It was one of my first fics I read when I was introduced to the F1 fandom. It's such an adorable story, and is very very VERY reminiscent of Hannah Montana. Read if you want a fluffy, angsty with a happy ending story!!!
'i am having the hardest time processing the fact that the ferrari strategy team cannot put together a strategy but charles leclerc can have two successful and unrelated careers #his team doesn’t know the weather #meanwhile charles is in the car writing a song in his head that will go on to be one of the best selling songs of all time #WITCHCRAFT'
Story of Our Lives by Eviestappen, footysel | G | 16.3k When Charles and Max meet when they are kids, they are both drawn to football. Charles' assists and Max's goals are teamwork at its best. But when Max has to move back to Belgium, they're torn apart. However, life throws them for a loop, and they are reunited again and again. I love a good childhood friends to lovers arc! Plus, this taught me so much about football terminology. It's literally Lestappen IRL but with football instead! Adorable must-read!
When the final whistle blew, they all collapsed onto their knees, shedding a few tears of happiness as they once again crowded the dutch boy. They sang cheers in his honor, hoisting him high up in the air during the trophy presentation.  For the first time in my life, it's all so clear. I feel calm like I belong. I'm so happy here. Just as it had been all season, Charles picked up the ‘star of the match’ award posing alongside Max, who had received the ‘player of the tournament’ trophy. The two young boys, predictably future stars, smiling like there was no tomorrow.
nsfw: noir désir by @alphatinies | E | 24k Max moves in with Charles and Pierre. Charles is an artist struggling with inspiration, which he happens to find in Max. There is a lot of longing in this fic which I love, it’s practically palpable. Charles especially struggles with his desire for max as he has a lot of history with Pierre. The mix of it being a character study and exploration, but also having good plot progression was absolutely amazing. One of my absolute favourites and made me feel many emotions. This fic is what AUS23 (1:1) sounds like.
'The desire hasn’t dissipated by the time they pull apart. Charles almost expects there to be a moment of clarity, to realise what he’s done—but that doesn’t come. When Max pulls away, Charles could still drown in his eyes, yearning to taste him again, and he does, leaning forward to press their mouths together. He kisses him eagerly, like he’s trying to prove a point—he wants this just as much as Max does, he can’t stop thinking about him in a way that he hopes is reciprocated, he wants him.'
glitch by @nyoomfruits | T | 26.5k Max is a webmaster at a fashion magazine, and an F1 fan. He has a meet-cute with driver Charles in the elevator at when Charles turns up for a photoshoot. It's love at first sight for Charles. I love an office romance and I guess this was half of one. Max is so not interested at first but Charles is charming and persistent-but-not-pushy and the developing relationship is sweet and unhurried. The fic deals with the realities of dating a famous person when you value privacy. The peanut gallery/Greek chorus provided by Daniel and Lando is hilarious and very in character.
'Daniel opens his mouth, presumably to say thank you, but then he looks at the coffee cup and frowns. “Uh,” he says, pointing at the cup and looking up at Max. “Where’s the rest of it?” Max pulls a face. “Soaking into the shirt of two time Formula One World Driver Champion Charles Leclerc.” “What,” Daniel says, as Lando pops his head over the divider with a gleeful look on his face. “Oh this sounds like it’s going to be good,” he says, as he catches the red bull can Max throws him one handed. “What happened?” Max sighs. “I ran into him in the elevator. Literally. Then I told him he was braking too early on turn 11 yesterday and that’s probably why he lost, and he just kept staring at me, so I kind of panicked, and got out of the elevator three floors too early.” “You are a gift to this earth,” Lando says, sighing delightedly as Daniel howls with laughter next to him. “Like who the fuck does that? Meets one of their favorite drivers and then tells them their braking is shit. Truly, only you. I’m so glad we are friends.” “Max, Maxy, never change,” Daniel says, trying to catch his breath. “God I wish I could have been there.” “You,” Max says, pointing between the two of them with his Red Bull can. “Both suck.” “What was he even doing here?” Lando asks, as Daniel wipes the tears from the corners of his eye. “No clue,” Max says, with a shrug. “Didn’t think to ask.” “Too busy insulting his braking,” Daniel says, sending himself off into another peel of laughter.'
no brakes on by @drivestraight | T | 32.5k Max is a Red Bull driver, but Charles is a (surprisingly good) actor. After a not-so-good meet-cute, they're suddenly drawn together after having to make amends for PR. I love AUs where half of a pair is still a driver yet the other doesn't have to do anything with racing at all! The fic deals with the perils of being famous and always in the spotlight while dealing with romance. And, Sebastian is still driving for Ferrari!
'Real. That’s—that’s a hard concept. For most of Max’s life, the past, the present, the future; what was in front of him and what was merely a dream he was running toward, they blended together. He spent seventeen years, even the years he can’t remember, working at his dream, then all of a sudden, it was his reality. Fast forward seven years he was a champion, everything he wanted to be but wasn’t sure if he would ever be. It’s just—everything has moved so fast. Max can’t tell real from unreal anymore. He wants to rest, wants to live in the moment, but the moment is—it keeps moving. It keeps escaping him. He isn’t sure where it is, isn’t sure where he is. What is real, what is not. Max feels like he could wake up one day, twelve years old again, strapped into his go-kart in pouring Holland rain, trying to find grip where there wasn’t, thinking of better things and a brighter future.'
nsfw: give me that fire by Lady_Something | E | 40k Chef!au, Max and Charles have history, but it doesn't stop Charles from coming to work as Max's new sous chef. Exes to lovers. To be honest working in a restaurant sounds like a nightmare but for some reason I love reading stories with this setting. This fic was an emotional rollercoaster in the best way, at times I was near tears and had completely given up on a happy ending but the lovely lady_something brought it all together in a both happy and realistic ending. If you like well written and delightfully flawed characters dealing with complicated relationships and grief, this is a fic for you! Trigger warning for death of a pet!
'“Charles, I just spent the last four years thinking I’d lost you forever. That I’d ruined not just the best relationship I would ever have, but the best friendship as well. If there is even the slightest chance that I can earn back enough of your trust for you to give me another chance, I will do whatever you want.” Charles chews on his bottom lip, his cheeks flushing beautifully. “That’s a lot of power to give somebody over you,” Charles says slowly, twisting the fork in his hand nervously. “I trust you,” Max answers immediately. “You probably shouldn’t,” he says softly. “I still haven’t forgiven you for not wanting me to go to Arthur.” Max wonders what Charles might make him do, if he were feeling vindictive. He’s never been on the receiving end of Charles’ pettiness, not really—except when he’d sabotaged Max’s serving to the Michelin Inspectors in Paris—but he’s seen it. When they were kids, he’d seen it a lot. He’d always thought it was funny, that Max had a reputation amongst their peers for being aggressive—but Max had always known that Charles was really the unhinged one between them.'
Of Shadow by racingline | M | 46k Charles Leclerc is a typical college student. Except, it turns out, none of what he knows is true: he's stuck in a universe where racing, his family, and the people he love don't exist. This is one of my all-time favorite magical realism fics! It's crazy, each chapter had me so hooked and wanting to know what happens next constantly. I loved it so much and the universe.
'Charles’ brain is still an echo of modena yellow and rosso corsa, the sounds of the factory and the smells of winter in Italy a vibrant flurry against the flat backdrop of his reality. He thinks of Maranello and Ferrari, the uneasy whine of Jules’ Renault when he revved the engine too high at every red light on the drive back to Monaco like each one was the start of a race. He thinks of the Academy–of Jules, who was the first one to be signed, and of himself, the first to make it all the way through. He thinks of the garage, more an artists’ studio than a factory. He thinks of Enzo and the son he lost too soon. He thinks, amo pensare che la Ferrari puo costruire piloti tanto quanto macchine, and he thinks, ask a child to draw a car and certainly he’ll draw it red. He thinks of mistaking the Italian anthem for that of his own country; he thinks of the scuderia in all its infallible, divine contradictions; its hopes and heartbreaks interlinked in an endless chain.'
nsfw: The Things You Do by loveleclerc | E | 71.9k Dutch mafia boss Max meets Charles in a strip club, where the latter formally works. After Charles decides to steal his wallet and go on a shopping spree, Max finds him, and lots of teasing ensues. Plus, Max is practically Charles' sugar daddy. This was genuinely so captivating and so hot. The plot was so insanely well-written and made me want to keep coming back! I read this on a plane ride and it made the time fly.
'“The quiet only lasted so long. Shouting in Italian and Dutch soon erupted from somewhere in the house along with gunfire that made Charles flinch, covering his ears while he squeezed his eyes shut. What the fuck had his life become?”'
nsfw: grapefruit mignonette by slapshots | E | 73.6k Max is an esteemed chef working under Christian Horner and Charles is an part-time server and architecture student. It turns out, tension does wonders for attracting the two together. So much food imagery! God, when I was reading this, I got so hungry. The descriptions were so lovely! And, I love any restaurant AUs. The characters were so funny and I loved their attitudes.
“Charles, this is our Executive Chef Max,” Christian said, picking up the fork and digging into it. “Charles just moved from –“ “France,” Max said. “Monaco,” Charles corrected. “Monaco is in France.” “I assure you, Chef, that Monaco is its own country.”
mr. invisible and the thing by @chubbydino | M | 97k A soulmate AU where Charles is a mechanic and Max is Daniel's agent. But– Max doesn't believe in soulmates, and Charles is struggling to cope. I love this fic so much! I reread the whole fic every update. Slow burn and soulmates are some of my favorite AUs and it's a fantastic read with some of the best writing in the fandom.
'Max hated the person his life had been mangled with. He referred to him as The Thing, because Max considered him more demon than anything else. Soulmates—he hated that term, but he had no other one to use in conversation—seemed awfully similar to demonic possession. The Thing certainly haunted him. The Thing seemed to like every kind of food Max hated. Every morning, Max tasted frothed milk and espresso when he woke up. Every morning, it made him gag. The Thing also liked French Onion soup during winter (palatable), mango in summer (chalky), and some vile kind of meat in the fall. The Thing lived in Europe somewhere, Max guessed. The Thing woke up at dawn and didn’t sleep until dark. The Thing’s schedule made it nearly impossible for Max to nap—and Max loved to nap. The Thing was also scared of cars. Max couldn’t describe how he knew, but the sound of a Formula 1 car always made him nervous the first time he heard it on race weekend, distant terror echoing in his bones. Further proof that the system was flawed—no soulmate of his would be scared of what he'd devoted his whole life to.'
thank you to @blueballsracing, @maaxverstappen, & @lydia-petze for compiling this list 💝
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