#which im not complaining about i love the tragedy of it all

[rivaiin]

speedran through both da2 dlc and im almost almost done with act 3. as much as i like this game and as much as ive been enjoying going through it again i really really wanna get it over already. cause afterwards it its emil time

[kryptznnn]

♛/♡ -Tragedy II

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

➸ INTERESTS; - aged up!neteyam x omatikayan f!reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - Love at first sight doesn’t exist, everyone knows that. There’s attraction, reaction, and understanding someone to call something love. Neteyam wasn’t sure what it was that he felt for you, but whatever it was, he didn’t want it to end.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc.6.5k, mentions of heat cycles, rejection, one sided love, unrequited affection, kissing, fluff, smut, p in v, fingering, ejaculation consumption, teasing, dominant fem lead, clouded judgement, mating, biting, blood mentions, etc.

➸a.i; - whoo!! finished this up i hope you guys enjoy it, sorry it took me so long it’s been a really bad week! but im working on other fics and reqs in my inbox (i’ve had since nov-dec) trying to get all the old stuff out first to get to new ideas!! thank u so much for the love! also this lowkey isn't proofread

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

♛/♡ Tragedy I

Neteyam was a good man, a good brother, a good if not great son. Which is why it was so surprising hearing and witnessing him speaking back to his parents for the first time ever. His father complained how worried his mother and grandmother have been about finding a mate for him in order to pass the responsibility Jake had been harboring for over two decades to the next, and Neteyam had simply responded how he didn't care.

He was lying.

As soon as he had mentioned he found someone his father was quick to take his side, smiling at him softly before whispering with his wife to the side, who only shook her head. Her mother had already decided what needed to be done, with or without his approval, the average time of courting would naturally take months, and it was months they didn't have.

The people needed a strong ruler with an even stronger woman by his side. The position of tsahik wasn't a problem, Kiri could always fill it, as she's had the best and most practices from her grandmother, but Neteyam's situation was more complicated. Even as he watched his parents speak to one another he wasn't sure what kind of power his father had over his mother.

He would always give her some look, like a pleading look almost or just a caress to her face in order to swoon her, and it always worked. Maybe it was love, it had to be, his grandmother had spoken to him about how love comes in many shapes or forms but can never be denied. Somehow watching his parents interact before his father placed a kiss on his mother's forehead reminded him of you, and your interaction from earlier in the afternoon on the beach.

It was night now, the sky was bleak and cloudy, the stars hadn't shined as bright as they usually had, almost as if the night sky was mourning as he was. Mourning the loss of love, he was so close to having you to himself and now he felt as if he was going back to square one. It hurt him, but he didn't feel like crying, or getting upset to the point he'd lash out at others around him, he just sat on the cold wooded floors and propped his knees to his chest.

His back was now facing his parents as he watched the sky, asking himself what you were probably doing by this time. Maybe bathing or eating with your family, helping clean up the aftermath or reading to your younger sister. You could've been sewing or beading clothing together for you to wear on special occasions as he watched you do a few months ago.

Or maybe your family was all out and busy for the night and you were all alone at home, waiting for some company. He was sure he could provide you more than just company, making his time with you highly worthwhile, but yet again it would probably be better to talk things out about what happened earlier. Or maybe you two didn't need too talk anything out, when things happen between two people who can't help themselves it's meant to be.

The two of you were meant to be, that sounded satisfactory, it definitely pleased him, bringing a smile to his face. He was so used to growing up and sacrificing things for his sibling's happiness or just too tired to fight for it. He was grateful for that actually, listening to the way his father was raised and the life he lived on the stars from above pained him, no one should live a life like that, but his father always reminded him if he hadn't gone through any of that he wouldn't be blessed in the future to be reborn.

Maybe his father was right, thankfully to him he was grown into a responsible young man, athletic, intelligent, and handsome, there was nothing but greatness in him. He felt more than responsible about you though and just wasn't sure as to why. It was something like a craving or poison in his mind that was stuck there forever.

It would make his insides itch and his outsides hot; it's almost like when you sit out in the sun for too long with dry skin and start to feel discomfort. But the sun feels so nice when you've been in the cold for so long and have nothing else to turn too, that's how he felt about you. You haunted his mind in such an eerie way, and at first, he had even had his grandmother check him for illness 'just because', sure you had done something to him, but nothing came back.

He yearned and grieved for your affection as if you had passed away, like a ghost he could only breath in whenever he closed his eyes. He was sure if anyone was able to hear or read his mind, they'd call him crazy, but he didn't feel that way, he felt free. Soon enough, snapping him out of his trance was a woman walking beside him, one he hadn't seen before.

Or maybe he had seen her before, he just hadn't remembered. His head followed her movements as she made her way behind him, walking towards his parents and taking her side beside them. This immediately made Neteyam spring to his feet and follow behind, raising a brow.

His father introduced the two of them to one another, speaking of their affiliations and granting Neteyam the choice to at least keep their new guest busy and grow fond of her before making a solid decision of his future. He knew his father well, his voice was laced with responsibility and seriousness, but in all honesty, it was mainly code for 'be nice to her and go court whoever it is you wanted'.

He was listening, his ears flicked slightly listening to the woman introduce herself and pronounce her name. 'Fa'nyma', strange name, completely different from yours, but it seemed to suit her somewhat. She was shorter than you, he took notice of her hair was much longer on some part, and she wore lots of jewelry. Maybe it was to impress him, but he could only think of how those jewels would've looked against your skin, your smile.

He smiled to himself and nodded, quickly changing his face into a stir of a frown and turned his attention back to his parents in order for Fa'nyma to not get the wrong idea. He knew better than to be rude, especially to a woman, it's not the way he was raised to be at all, so he would be cordial with her, that he agreed on.

But that kind of promise became difficult to keep when it came to the fact that she practically followed him everywhere. He had planned to come and see you in your kelku, only for her to be right behind him. It would be very problematic to explain the fact that a woman is following him around the entire village as she's now his responsibility.

It had been three days since then, Neteyam had always thought to himself what was an easy way to say, "Leave me the fuck alone", not a nice way, he didn't want to be nice with her. He wanted to sound easy on the ears, but harsh enough for the conversation to get no farther than her understanding and leaving.

Then again, he's sure she wouldn't even understand what the word "fuck" means. It was a sky people term, and his parents had only used it whenever they hit their toe against something or messed up badly or were just upset beyond the point of explanation. His brother cursed often too, practically being more fluent in cursing than his mother's tongue. This is ridiculous, why is it that whenever he's so ready to get something for himself obstacles just throw themselves in his way.

"Fa'nyma" he spoke, placing his bow and arrow down in his hut before removing his headpiece, letting his braids rest on the side of his face before tying them back. She hummed in response, turning to him from the entrance of his kelku and smiling at him. "I'm going out somewhere now, so I'll need you to leave." He spoke solidly, turning his attention away from her when he noticed her cheeky look.

"Don't you want me to accompany you to wherever you're going?" She spoke, Neteyam sucked his teeth lightly before rolling his eyes. She must be one of the stupidest people he's ever met, even his youngest sister Tuk would know if he had said something like that, he would want to be alone. Did it genuinely look like he wanted her company? Or that he enjoyed her company so much he would've said yes?

"I don't enjoy your company, and I won't need it anymore." He said with an attitude, grabbing a small bag in the corner of his room and placing it over his shoulder with a clunk. He soon ushered her out of his room and hut before leaving himself, not even looking behind him to see her.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

"Y/n" he spoke with a smile, standing in the middle of the tree of voices. He had spent nearly all afternoon looking for you, now being nightfall as he saw you. Your back was facing him, but he knew it was you, he could tell by your scent, your hair, everything.

After spending nearly all of his time with Fa'nyma it was refreshing to see you, to breath you, and to touch you. He was quick to reach a hand out to your shoulder, watching as you spun around slightly for his hand to fall off your shoulder and back up slightly. You weren't smiling, which worried him, he wasn't sure what look you were giving him, but it wasn't one he was expecting.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, definitely taken aback wearing a confused but more hurt look on your face. After having such a passionate moment with a man, you weren’t surprised for it to end so quickly, what you didn’t expect was for him to leave you, especially for three days.

“I’m here to see you of course, I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long, but you have no idea how happy I am to see you aga-“

“It’s been three days Neteyam.” You cut him off harshly, now beginning to become upset, he spoke as if no time had passed. “You kissed me and left me for three days, but it’s easy for you to walk around with Fa’nyma.” You said, earning a flared look from him at your last words.

He was quick to place the bag he was holding down, now holding both of your hands with his own hands. He looked at you with a look of desperation, pledging with you almost to hear him out.

“I don’t like her; it wasn’t up to me I swear it. I told her off this morning, I want nothing to do with her, only with you.” He said, smiling somewhat softly as you again to see you smile as well. He knew something like this would happen, he was ready for it of course, but he knew no matter how things would’ve ended he wouldn’t let you go.

He would apologize anyway he had to, such as bringing you gifts or flowers and fruits, maybe kneeling and pleading with you. He knew you well enough to know you had a soft spot for him, for everyone mostly. Maybe it was childish to feel a pang of jealousy broil in his chest over that topic, but he couldn’t help it.

He liked you, he really liked you, liked you so much he wasn’t sure what to do with himself and he would practically fuck himself over again and again. Maybe it was love, maybe he loved you, he had always had the perfect example of it growing now and all he cares about is making it a reality with you.

And he did just that, apologizing to you over and over and sitting you down on the glowing floor beneath the two of you as he gave you everything from his bag. He practically showered you in gifts you hadn’t seen before, small jewels and crystals from the star above as you had a wide smile on your face.

He had told you he wanted to court you, earn you the right way, in order to bring you towards his family, the proper way. He even slid in a joke about how if things had escalated on the beach everything would be entirely different now, making you laugh.

You were so beautiful, everything about you was so beautiful, your laugh, the way you fluttered your lashes at him as you listened to him speak, or maybe how you kept your skin in contact with his no matter where the two of you were. You weren't afraid to show him off or hint there was something between the two of you and it drove him mad.

He was so quick to mention your name to his family so often that they had no other choice but to force Fa’nyma out of the picture. He thought of himself as a bad person for a short while, purposely flaunting your capabilities and beauty in front of the other woman to watch her face stir with jealousy as he had a sinister smirk plastered on his face.

He must’ve been crazy, in both good and bad ways, but it’s deemed excused because he’s crazy in love, crazy in love for you. So crazy that now after just a few weeks of courting he’s itching to bring things to another level.

He was patient, everyone knew it. He was trained to be at such a young age, like when catching fish with his father, those lessons taught him nothing more than the importance of time. Good things come to those who wait, he had you, but to fully tie the bond between you two he had to be patient.

Love is something that can’t be rushed, patience is a large factor between two people, almost like a test to see what’ll happen under pressure. Sadly, as of right now it felt as if Neteyam was losing, if not losing his mind in the process. Laying on his bedside within his empty kelku, listening to the cold winds outside blow around it and pick up on the small, piped chimes outside his hut entrance his youngest sister made for him.

He couldn’t sleep, his mind was racing, and he felt so empty, and the thought of you was just making up upset. It stirred something inside him he couldn’t entirely understand, all he could think of now was wanting you.

No,

He needed you.

Attached to your affection and presence like a newborn to its mother or father’s skin in order to thrive and feel their love. He wasn’t sure why tonight was so different from the rest, but he couldn’t stay here, something felt off, so he did the only thing he could do and set out into the forests.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

A simple way of remembering people is by their scent, which Neteyam was familiar with. What he hadn’t been familiar with was your scent being so strong to the point where he paused in his steps and shielded his face, squinting.

It was strange he was able to pick up your scent here of all places, it was in the complete opposite direction of your home. So of course, he did none other than follow it to find you, but what he saw was nothing of what he expected.

“Y/n” he called out, removing his arm from his face to take in your state, hunched over on the floor by a tree whimpering. You hadn’t answered his call, and when he came to you and placed a hand on your skin you hissed at him, slapping his hand away.

He was appalled to say the least, your skin was burning, and your behavior was erratic, since when were you so defensive? A click quickly came to mind, you must’ve been uncomfortable, or afraid, especially to react that way with him of all people.

He was quick to scan the surroundings of the two of you to emphasize the fact that you weren’t alone, someone had definitely been here before he came towards you, lurking. Neteyam was quick to suck his teeth, already piecing together the situation playing out before reaching out to you again.

You were in heat, he felt so stupid letting it slide over his head as he had originally had it calculated. Usually within the middle of every month you disappear for only a handful of days before returning, only this time it seems to have come a little earlier than expected.

You had a shawl sprawled out to your side as you stayed huddled into a ball, fidgeting around as Neteyam made his way behind you, hugging you and rubbing circles into your back. Maybe it was because you weren’t in your best mind, but right now you felt like biting him.

Not in a bad way, in a good way, to draw blood and pleasure yourself, not necessarily to harm him. There was something about how soothing his scent felt that the scent of the other navi man lurking in the woods prior seemed to gently fade away. You paid no mind to him as you turned into Neteyam’s embrace, snuggling into his chest with a slight purr and whine.

You felt so hot, and itchy, the cool night breeze hadn’t helped you quick enough, but Neteyam’s body had. His chest was firm and cool, like how the ponds or lakes underneath the waterfalls felt, making you smile softly.

It wasn’t enough to stop your pain and itch, but it was just enough to calm you to a certain extent, his words slurring in your brain as he spoke. You had only responded with slight hums, not sure you’d be capable of responding back in sentences.

He was quick to pick you up to your feet, caressing your face and asking you something. Whatever it was he was quick to take your groan as an answer, now holding you hand in hand as he made his way through the forests, occasionally turning back to take in your ill state.

You weren’t sure what path he was taking, it certainly wasn’t the path to your home, or the main village, but the trees you two passed by before coming to a halt smelled similar to Neteyam. He was gentle, letting you climb up into an unfamiliar place before following right after you, his hand locking right back with yours as his other held your shawl.

He spoke to you again, but your ears remained out of focus, now picking up on the small sound of pattering coming from behind you. You turned slowly, your head hurting as you watched the rain fall. You turned back slowly, placing each hand on the sides of your head, feeling as if someone had taken a bone and hit the sides of your head repeatedly.

You only groaned, slumping over slightly before feeling Neteyam’s hands grab onto your side, ushering you further into the room and sitting you down somewhere comfortably. You kept your eyes squeezed shut, feeling his firm hands leave your body you shot them open, taking in your surroundings as you lowered your hands.

You placed your hands down at the bedside you sat on, dragging your fingers across the woven blankets. This must’ve been his home, the entire place was drenched in his scent, it seemed vacant and cold, it must’ve been the way he liked it. You were quick to bring the edge of the blanket to your nose, inhaling its scent with a slight moan, feeling a rush of adrenaline rush through your body and down to your core.

You lowered the blanket as you heard him returning shortly, crossing your legs and angling them in a position to give you pleasure. Biting back a moan as you clenched around nothing you watched as he came over, giving you a small bowl filled with water for you to drink. You smiled softly at him, taking the bowl into your shaky hands before he covered your hands with his before helping you drink it.

His hands are so large, just like you had remembered about him initially the first time he helped you pick out the fruits from the trees. They practically covered yours if not entirely in length, nearly striking a wave of embarrassment in you. As you finished you were sure he had told some sort of joke, pointing to outside before chuckling back at you.

You only batted your eyes and smiled even wider, nodding at him. You were sure that it had done something to him because he looked away and swallowed hard before leaving the room again. As he made his time quick he came to your side, now sitting beside you and taking your hands into his, speaking again, as your heat grew stronger another wave coursed through your body.

And of course you wasted no time turning to his side, resting your head on his collarbone and inhaling his scent. If you had some sort of shame left before your heat had stripped it from you there would be a possibility you’d have pulled back or apologized, but right now you just didn’t care.

His scent was driving you insane, practically flooding your mind as you caressed yourself into his skin with soft mewls and moans that echoed in his ears. He was more than flustered to say the least, but he had come to a decision on how to help you in any way possible. He simply brushed your hair away from your face to get your attention, which worked before he spoke in sure of you to hear him.

“Use me how you seem fit.” He said sternly, flashing you a toothy smile afterwards. He watched as your pupils blew out nearly full wide, no longer seeing the color of your irises before you turned your head back into his collarbone. You were quick with your actions, licking and nipping at his skin before making your way up to his neck.

A soft kiss was applied to a sweet spot before you licked it, prepping your canines into his flesh before sinking them in slowly. If it hurt it harsh enough you were sure that when you had sense again you’d apologize for it, just not now, not while you enjoyed lapping up the small trickles of blood that dribbled down his warm skin.

Not while you suddenly leap a leg over him, now straddling him as you continued to kiss him. He had barely moved as much as he wanted to, only following your lead and placing his hands on your back as support. He was quick to pull your head in for a kiss to your lips once you finished with his neck of course, this time being more forceful and sinister than the kiss you two had shared previously.

There was a small part of Neteyam that knew this wasn’t the right thing to do, at least some of it. You weren’t in your right mind and the two of you hadn’t been mated, well at least not yet. If anything, that small feeling quickly went away when he too felt himself slipping into the dizzy and foggy feeling of your heat now affecting him.

He had heard stories of something like this before, heats being able to spread towards one another to a certain extent. Things like that could only happen if that individual wanted to share it, and that seemed to be happening at this moment.

You wanted him to feel how you felt, understand how good it felt to be in this situation, as much as you itched or your skin burned, nothing could have been better than easing the pain with someone that made you feel so good.

You liked Neteyam, you were sure of it. Your family liked him too, he was considerate, gentle, humorous, and well put. He made you feel loved, cherished, and satisfactory; he could never say no to you and spoiled you with anything you wanted. Spoiling the one you love comes to a certain extent and giving them whatever they want comes with a price, like as of now when you began to untie your top and loincloth, attempting to untie his as well.

He was quick to grab both of your arms, bringing you to a short halt. You were completely nude now, watching as he took in your full appearance before looking up into your eyes. He was quick to shake his head, a signal of rejection to you, making you frown heavily and whine, tears prickling the corner of your eyes.

He spoke, not sure entirely what he was speaking of, but you were sure he muttered along the lines of ‘being responsible’ when reading his lips, the tears now rolling down your cheeks as you shook your head. There was no way he would leave you in a time like this after escalating the situation so far for the night, you yanked your arms from his grasp before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, whining.

“Please, please, please teyam, hurts so bad, need you, need you here.” You mumbled, grinding against his painful bulge from his shifted loincloth, taking his hand into yours and placing it over your lower pelvis. You watched as he groaned softly, turning his head as his ears flickered around, as if contemplating his next move. You were quick to turn your head in the direction his was turned too, kissing him first this time, wasting no time in forcing your tongue into his mouth.

He only melted at the action, quickly obliging and letting his hands roam your body. He was quick to squeeze you and tease you, letting his fingertips graze over your nipples as you moaned into his mouth, and he moans back. He kept his right hand over your breast, swirling small circles around your nipple and tugging on it every now and again as his left hand followed its way down between your legs.

Your moans now grew louder, more bass coming from them as they rumbled in your chest and throat, breaking the kiss with Neteyam as a small string of saliva was split between you too. You rested your head on the side of his cheek as your moans continued, rumbling directly into his ear, making his breath heavier than before. He only took notice to quicken his actions, his thumb circling your clit gently as his fingers thrusted inside of you.

This much arousal was getting painful in his case, he was sure he had never been this whipped ever no matter what woman he was with. You were so beautiful, your voice, your body, your movements had him captivated, if anything he wished he could stop time just for this moment. He could hardly even feel his fingers, the way they were coated if not dripping in your arousal he slipped in and out so easily it was insane.

What was even more foolish was the fact for just a split second he became jealous of his own fingers, wanting to be inside you himself with his tongue instead, but the way you fidgeted on his lap and begged for more he knew that was something to wait for another time. So, he continued, now drawing his full attention to your face as he watched your body shudder when he curved his fingers, his fingertips grazing against your insides.

He took his hand away from your breasts, now grabbing the side of your face and watching your expression, your skin was still hot, but that hadn’t bothered him. He was more focused on trying to not cum by just the sight of you. Your hair was a mess, your face was flushed and hot, saliva dripping down your lips wasn’t helping, especially when you were panting heavily like an animal with your hooded eyes.

And there it was, that cheeky little smile you do whenever you know you’ve got his attention, batting your lashes at him. He hated that you knew how to get to him so easily, especially at a time like this, it’s as if even though he’s the one pleasuring you, you were doing the same in his favor, and he was definitely right when he watched you come undone on his lap, practically shouting his name as your grip on his shoulders tightened, your nails digging into him as your body jerked forward, shuddering harshly as your orgasm washed over you.

You had no time to catch your breath as Neteyam kissed you sloppily, pulling his fingers out of you as you whimpered into his mouth at the feeling of the emptiness, clenching around nothing. You hadn’t pleaded or begged like before, only finishing your previous work and untying the rest of his loincloth before picking it up, watching as he sucked on his fingers with a small smirk.

You looked away nervously at his actions, placing his loincloth up to your nose and inhaling its scent, kissing it and tossing it behind you as you made sure Neteyam watched you. He only shook his head with a smile, his face flushed as he watched you, grazing his fingertips over your breasts yet again.

“Not satisfied?” He asked, cocking his head slightly to the side as he watched you, your eyes locked onto his body, trailing down until seeing what was hidden underneath his loincloth, making you shudder. After your intense orgasm prior, the heavy cloud of your heat wasn’t as thick as before, now you had at least a little bit of your mind left, now asking yourself if the size was too much to bear.

“Mm-mh” you muttered, shaking your head from side to side as you made your way to grab onto his sex, jolting slightly as you watched it bounce up to hit his lower abdomen. He only chuckled at you as he watched your actions, you had hardly paid any mind to him, now taking it into your hand and fisting it slightly, listening to his soft groans as the entirety of it was coated in precum.

You only smiled to yourself, raising your hips up high as you rubbed the tip onto your core, bucking your hips and moaning harshly as it flicked over your sensitive clit. As quick as the small cloud left your body it was just as quick to hit you, returning to your womb like a storm, making you chew down on your bottom lip out of frustration as you grunted.

Eywa, you felt so empty, as if you’ve been starving for days. Starving for a man to feed off of, starving for your man, your mate, to feed you. This was overwhelming, none of your heats had taken this much of an effect on you, and this physical connection wasn’t enough to share with him, you want him to see, hear, breath, and know you, not just feel you.

“Tsaheylu” you mumbled, reaching behind the back of your head to your kuru, bringing it over your shoulder as you looked down at him slightly. His reaction seemed to be one of surprise or understanding, you weren’t sure which to pick off of, no matter there were no words shared between the two of you in that moment, he only copied your movements.

Before the small tendrils of your kurus could fuse together, you sunk down onto him slowly, both of you breathy and sticky, moans mixing between the two of you. You hadn’t moved and neither had he, taking in one another before making tsaheylu, the same second of the bond between the two of you making you whimper as you rested your head on his shoulder, crying quietly.

It was so intense, as if flashing lights and music had been playing amongst the midst of everything already happening between the two of you. After a few seconds you could hear it, hear and feel how Neteyam felt for you, at first when you felt the warming in your chest you had initially expected it to be your heat, bubbling even harder now. That wasn’t the case, it was his feeling towards you, how his heart raced when he saw you or saw your smile, and how he felt now as he had you nestled on him.

It felt so nice, sharing this feeling and pain with another, lifting the burden off of yourself and having a mate to call your own. Before you were even able to speak Neteyam was quick to hoist himself up in a comfortable position, making you moan out softly.

“I know, I know tiwan. Gonna make you feel better yeah? Right here baby? I know what you need.” He spoke, placing his hand back over your pelvis and abdomen. The word he spoke prior sounded foreign to you, you could tell in the context it was a pet name, just not sure exactly what kind it could’ve been. Before you were able to pick up on that thought you felt Neteyam’s hands grab your behind in a firm manner before thrusting himself in and out of you at a kept pace.

You moaned into his shoulders now as he quickened his pace, making you clench around him. He didn’t like this position at all, don’t get him wrong you felt amazing, this moment was amazing, but he wanted to see you, see your face. He knew how you felt due to your bonding yes, but it wasn’t enough, he needs more.

Which is what led him to waste no time in standing up as he held onto you and turning around, laying you down as he towered over you, neither him leaving from inside you or your tsaheylu breaking. Cooing you as you whimpered and fidgeted against him, pulling him down onto you so you could inhale his scent from his side, but he wasn’t having it.

He rested in his knees now, thrusting into you painfully slow, listening to your groans and complaints with a grin. He liked being cocky, it felt good, especially if it got under your skin and he got to watch you react, it was amusing.

The longer the night continued the less amusing things became however, especially for the both of you. As of now Neteyam had lost track of time, and amount of positions the two of you had been in, but now you were on the floor, the room smelling like nothing but sex and sweat as you both moaned.

Neteyam had tried every other way to satisfy your needs without knotting you, but that’s all you had begged for at this time. None of your other orgasms being enough to get rid of the emptiness within you, he just hadn’t thought you were ready for it.

His last worries was getting you pregnant, it could only happen if he was also in rut, which wasn’t anytime soon, but knotting someone is dangerous (and also something he’s never done before). You were an animal, and that was no exaggeration, from the sweat and cum that had pooled on the bedside and floor your skin and fingertips had gotten wrinkly, along with Neteyam’s, but apparently you hadn’t even cared.

“Please, need it, so emptyyy” you whined, poking at the fat knot at the base of Neteyam’s cock that had been poking at your entrance for some time. Your face was wet with tears and sweat as you threw your fit, moaning as he postponed himself deeper in you to where his knot grazed against your clit.

In a matter of seconds, you were practically fucking him back, arching your back slightly as you pushed back with just as much force he thrusted into you. You could feel it, his knot was practically teasing you in a way you couldn’t explain, it felt like some sort of craze or rush that was driving you mad, mad in a way you drew a smile to your face, chanting praises over and over again before hearing a pop and a painful stretch.

Neteyam halted his movements, a loud moan escaping his lips as his knot had finally entered you. He had towered over you, his chest pressing against your back as you clawed at the floor in desperation. It wasn’t necessarily painful, more uncomfortable as it was a feeling you weren’t used too, and the cloud of your heat had covered most of it.

But oh how full you felt, the pain, tears, and cries from before all seemed to just vanish as you felt the knot lowering, now being filled with Neteyam’s cum at a quick pace. Now you felt full, and in the best way possible, it was all you had truly wanted and finally your needs were satisfied.

You sighed out in satisfaction, feeling him kiss on your neck and back softly before caressing your body. You purred back into him as you felt him move gently and slowly, picking the two of you up off the floor to his bedside, removing the dirty blanket from there before and laying there with you, still back to chest.

“Thank you” you said to him, taking his hand and kissing it with a smile as you felt him smile from behind you. He only played with your hair as he heard you yawn, taking in your small and tired state.

“Mm-hmm, so proud of you baby, did so good.” He spoke, placing a kiss onto your head as he drew faint circles in your back as he watched you drift off to sleep. He smiled to himself before remembering he was still stuck for a while, hopefully he wouldn’t wake you if he pulled out.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

-ˋˏ ༻Current Taglist༺ ˎˊ-

@bakugouswaif @hungrynessforfics @thisaintredwine @hello222sthings @crispynutella @rafslytherin @dayyzlol @lilyed777

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn 🌸my main navigation

[ilovegenyasomuch]

Ive seen a lot of people complaining about how Genya doesn’t have a love interest, and honestly I get it, my guy deserves love too, but Im 100% sure Gotouge did that on purpose,,

Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Nezuko, Inosuke, they all have a love interest, even before the final battle we already had pretty much hints that some characters will end up obviously together — for Genya, we got nothing. He doesn’t even have a best friend in the first place, he’s just there, focused on becoming stronger.

I believe that Genya’s point of being only revolves around one thing, getting to his objective and apologising to his brother, eventually being forgiven. He refused to appreciate his luck of surviving after his mom killed his siblings, to start a new life, eventually find a stable adoptive family, grow up normally, etc. Instead, nothing else other than reuniting with Sanemi is on his mind — to the point where he will be so desperate he’ll start eating demon flesh, something that probably marked him a lot.

I think that he got so focused on it he decided to completely shut himself down and isolate himself from people his age, avoiding to be distracted — which explains his aggressive behaviour towards most people. That’s the tragedy of his character, I suppose

[our-queer-experience]

I found a leather jacket at goodwill that I got and it is the best thing I own. I am genderfluid and when I wear the jacket open it is boxy to where it hides my curves and I look cool and I love it and when i zip it it hugs my curves a bit and I look hot and I love it. Also my sibling tries to guess which gender I'm sporting at any given time and they have been getting better at it and they call me their brother when I am their brother and it is one of the best feelings ever. Also i burped in their face while at the grocery store and I know its childish but doing annoying little brother shit is still satisfying in adulthood and they complained about it for a week while I still laugh at it. I love being genderfluid. I love being trans. <3333

im so sick of the narrative being that all trans people hate themselves all the time. yeah its common but my whole life isnt a tragedy, yk?

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Oml i havent been here in a MINUTE, but i just finish reading Cyberpunk and i definitely have to come and say i LOVED it (as i always do lmfao)

But the fact is almost cried, all the elements of it made it feel like a movie.

I don’t know much of the game (droid??) but where did you get the inspo to make such and amazing fic😞 i really liked how the thing keeping droids from being completely robots was the subconscious, which could be tied in with emotions but that wasn’t the main point.

Also, THE MORSE CODE, loved it oml- but about it, jongho learned morse code because he was a droid, but once he became human he still had that in him, like the memory of how to do morse code. + did the mc install some morse code into the droids before hand?

And to add one last thing, the part of the memory block was a shocker, for a split sec i felt like in inception and you were going to pull a “it was all a dream” which im glad you didnt but the detailsss, like how jongho is just still a cutie and easily gets flustered ugh i could keep on going but, to conclude, you never fail to make amazing fics and i shall continue to read them all

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT HELLO???

glad to know you liked cyberpunk i will never stop complaining about how much i struggled writing it lmao but the fact that it felt like a movie and almost made you cry means i did a good job hehe

bruh i have literally zero droid knowledge all i know is that well they're machines that work like humans and i literally had zero inspo just the title 'cyberpunk' and i knew cyberpunk had to be a droid/futuristic fic. and bc i have zero knowledge and this is fiction, i just made my own rules (like i always do ahaha)

oh the morse code. i don't remember if i mentioned it in the fic but jongho and reader used to communicate by tapping morse code on the skin before he got turned into a droid (if i didn't mention it, oops). with the droids, tho, they would be able to speak multiple languages/code since well, they're machines. it's installed in their hardware in the chip.

the idea that i had was when the reader was acting cautious around droid jongho but tapping the morse code onto his skin, keeping the msg short and simple like 'no' or 'don't', the droid wouldn't be able to figure out what she meant and why she was doing it. but since jongho the human would remember how this was their little secret communication way and would understand the depth of reader's msg, he would know what to do and act accordingly (reader took a risk here). that's bc jongho has his subconscious, if that makes sense.

AHAHAHA i was this 🤏close to turning cyberpunk into a tragedy or even a sadistic tragedy but ig this worked out better. i do believe subconscious is so imp and that no matter how much humans try to make machines that work and act like humans, they can never replicate the subconscious. and they really shouldn't try 💀

thank you so much for the lovely feedback and the questions, and i missed you! hope you're doing well <3 also now you know that if i ever write a fic titled 'inception', it's very obviously going to be the 'it was all a dream' concept. but with a twist, ofc hehe

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/9/2023

i almost never devour a book in one sitting without getting distracted, i rarely scrub back to the beginning of a scene to immediately rewatch it, and i have never force-quit a video game in order to immediately replay the level, but all of those things happened this week. cowboy machine go brrr.

listening

wolf by the yeah yeah yeahs (sextile remix). neo noir movie music, long establishing interior shot as you move through a dim mirrored lounge, making eye contact with all the denizens before the diegetic music cuts back in.

rare remix where i like the remix much better than the original. driving and pleasantly jangly, grooveable with some velocity to it. music to feel like a lone wolf protagonist to. spotify link

the release radar is one of spotify's best features and i wish something as set-and-forget existed for bandcamp

reading

Lone Women by Victor LaValle is a gothic horror western. only part of the gothic horror is due to the familial burden placed upon eldest sisters. this book is largely concerned with inheritance, sisterhood and female friendship (in scare quotes and otherwise) but not in a TERFy way.

Adelaide Henry carries an enormous steamer trunk with her wherever she goes. It’s locked at all times. Because when the trunk opens, people around Adelaide start to disappear. (bookshop.org link)

i try to read a couple reviews before writing my own, and there’s been a lot of grumbling that this book is comprised solely of diversity points. to which i say: do you really think interracial lesbians and trans people and autistic kids did not exist in 1915??? this is a pretty typical friend group. the weirdos band together.

i liked this book a great deal and had a good time with it. however, i think the denouement comes together a little too pat. i would have liked this book to be slightly longer than its 306 print pages. there are a lot of characters to juggle and there are two specifically i would have liked to see more so they feel a little less deus ex machina. however x2, i am deeply grateful to LaValle's wife who insisted on this specific ending. there are tragedies that happen in the book, but the book is not a tragedy.

there are in fact a fuck of a lot of threads being carried at all times, despite all these threads coming together somewhat unevenly in the last few chapters. there is a literary sleight of hand so effective (bc you are so relieved a group of characters hasn’t died and THEN so many things immediately happen) that you completely forget to question why the fuck this group left and came back in the first place (although you can come up with a satisfactory answer on your own by like. thinking for a minute). the suspense is sustained and effective as well, i was worried the whole time about something and devoured it in one sitting without getting up (mack, curled up against my side in bed, appreciated this a lot).

how scary is this book? more suspense and dread. there are very few detailed descriptions, there is simply. a lot of blood.

how horny is this book? i do very much like the pair of secondary lesbians (bisexuals? unclear. could be both/either. the distinction would not come for nearly another sixty years anyway). i complain a lot about when women aren’t horny enough, but if you make them both willing to fucking kill in a blink for each other and give me an achingly tender scene like this, im fine with this fairly tame level of horny!

watching

A scruffy garbage boy becomes the pupil of a famed gunfighter, and the stage for confrontation is set when the gunman overruns the boy's town through violence and corruption.

as an orphan with daddy issues, Day of Anger (1967, dir. Valerii) really fuckin hit for me. it's also an a-tier western i would let other people watch, slightly clunky at times but killingly sincere. really fun and unusual jazzy score, good camerawork. i really loved this but am having difficulty explaining why. it's coherent? do you know how rare that is for a spaghetti western???

it also has the best one minute forty-four seconds in any western ever, imo. why the fuck not have a joust!!! i do not watch spaghetti westerns for their restraint or subtlety!!! the HAHAHA SICKOS.meme moments, where it really fucking embraces its genre, are some of the best moments in the film. more FUCK yeah WHY NOT moments in other movies please.

this is one of lee van cleef's three "tutorship" movies (along with Death Rides A Horse and For A Few Dollars More), where he gets paired up with the spaghetti western version of a james bond girl. i don't remember who tagged one of my posts but he really is peak evil dilf here. the way he sets up his own destruction because he as a person cannot do anything else is just. pour it into my open mouth. yes thank you yumyumyum

it is not a complex plot, but thought and care was put into it. scott mary, the van cleef boy in this film, has a real character arc and an ambiguous ending. along with the score and lvc at his evil best, this is a novel example of a spaghetti western. the two-hour cut is here for free on tubi btw.

ty to @pasta-pardner for complaining that no one was talking about this movie, bc apparently that's a really effective hook for me. i love to feel exclusive.

playing

call of juarez: gunslinger, and i have finally determined that it was free on steam a couple two-three years ago and that's how i obtained it. mystery solved.

the conceit of this arcadey episodic first person shooter: you are semi-retired bounty hunter Silas Greaves, telling stories in a saloon to get free drinks out of your audience. the level can rapidly change as Silas' story changes: as he remembers things or as audience members argue with him. this is overall a pretty successful schtick and continues to be silly goofy fun.

i had so much fun with the first train level, where you are scrambling up through a derailed train over a ravine, that i immediately replayed it. i have never ever done this with a video game before. everything feels so precarious, it encourages speed without literally blowing the track up behind you. it is VERY fun to kick down train car doors and go into bullet time. it is VERY fun to defend a tunnel with a gatling gun. imo the sort of gleeful high-velocity gunfights this game wants you to have work best when you are fighting through a fairly contained level like a train-- the maps where you are running and gunning through an entire town can feel a little overwhelming.

the maps are generally the kind of over the top nonsense you expect from a spaghetti western-- in one level you are scrambling around under/on top of/through a giant trestle bridge trying to stay alive and deactivate some dynamite so the bridge and train stay unexploded. you fight through the ricketiest mine you can imagine! you fight on a steamboat beached in a swamp! you fight in a flooded graveyard in the same swamp! this game is not pretty, per se, but it is handsome. it uses vertical space really well.

the level with Indians is both better and worse than i hoped. Silas is after some Apaches who have escaped their reservation, and is sympathetic about them wanting off the reservation, but you sure do have a whole level about shooting guys anyway. this game leans really hard into, like, woo-woo nature medicine man abilities. luckily they are contained to the one level. this is pretty okay for 2013 (a named tribe, a sympathetic portrayal, they are defending instead of attacking or kidnapping) but they could have done better then and they can do better now.

additionally, i have some beef with the duel minigame-- im old. my reflexes are Not Good. there's a mexican standoff where there are three different things to keep track of and i have failed that duel seventeen times. i may be soft-locked due to a skills issue.

making

fallow week. im kind of frozen with fear about moving prep and really need to kick shit into gear despite the fact it is all very expensive and very scary. even when you have local people to look at apartments for you, the mere thought of renting an apartment without like Being There and seeing what the light is like and poking around under cabinets for mold and interrogating the neighbors is deeply uncomfy for me.

but onward! because we have to!

[lazaruspiss]

i would actually love some nightwing recs from you

Aha! You activated my trap card <-(completely forgot how public they are with their nightwing obsession) (ps: i also talked nightwing recs here too <3 i simply love to talk about my baby boy)

My "area of expertise" is mainly Nightwing 1996, so that's where most of my recs come from. There was also Nightwing 1995, which was more of a test run for 96. I think it had 4 issues total? It's not bad, just not noteworthy either. I've been working on a big spreadsheet of info for 96, including trigger warnings, but im only like. 15 issues in. hashtag pain and suffering. Issue #1 already has a woman being threatened, I have it down as "attempted rape" in my list, and that kind of sets the tone for what you need to be able to handle to read everything in that series.

The biggest downside is that it's all pre Damian :( son boy i miss u and i wish u were in better comics. Tim is funny tho. The first arc in 96 is great scene setting, and Tim shows up in #6 to be a lil stinker :3. We establish Dick's goals, motivations, etc, as well as what the state of Blüdhaven is and who our main baddies are.

It's all a bit heartbreaking in retrospect. Dick fails. He wants to be more independent and remove himself from Bruce's shadow, Blockbuster is established as the big bad for him to bring to justice, and he wants to make things at least a little better for the people of Blüdhaven.

He ends up dragged back to Bruce by an invisible leash, he technically beats his main villain but only in the absolute worst way after losing everything (and continues to lose more after, losing things he didn't know he had), and Blüdhaven is destroyed.

Dick loses. It's a bad end. A tragedy even. And yet, because of the nature of comics like DC, his story continues. It continues in crossovers and fan service and whatever else might sell. His most personally meaningful story ended prematurely for fucking War Games. sorry I know I just complained about this but cmon.

There were some good storylines after that! But I'm still bothered by the fact that the Tarantula arc was cut off after like, 2 issues. Road to Nowhere (#94-95) really did go nowhere. But the concept was there and it had the potential to be a decent story about an abusive relationship.

Mobbed Up (#108-111), Renegade (#112-117), and Brothers in Blood (#118-122) are some of my favorite arcs, all post Blockbuster. But after those I kind of lost interest. Annual #2 also came out sometime after all those, and I can't stress enough that it is absolutely not worth reading. It was written an illustrated by men, reduces Babs and Kori to nothing more than romantic partners, and completely misrepresents older stories. They literally retell older Dick/Babs moments, but without anything that could make their relationship at all complex or questionable to the consumer. Dick saw her as a sister, but rather than use that as a sign of closeness and respect they cut out all reference to that entirely because god forbid relationships have any nuance nowadays. Annual #1 was alright. I think it came out in the first or second year of the 96 run, and it's a nice self contained murder mystery one shot that showcases Dick's workaholic habits, his want for a family, and his tendency to try and change himself to makes others happy. He also comes off as very accidentally arospec. There's a moment where he tries to get a woman to stay with him by saying things like "but I could learn to love you" and if that wasn't me everyday throughout my middle to high school years than I don't know what is.

Outside of 96, I wanna point out The Search for Ray Palmer: Red Rain. Which may not be a Nightwing story but is absolutely a Bruce & Dick story (with vampires!) I haven't actually read much of the original Red Rain because. Dick's not really in that one. The Ray Palmer spin off however has Dick hunting down his parents' killer: one vampire king, Bruce Wayne. If you find those posts about Dick initially being a vengeance hungry 8 year old interesting than this is about as close as actual comics get. In the main timeline, yeah, Dick wants revenge, but because he's 8 and really just going through it rather than being genuinely bloodthirsty he's very easily talked out of it. In the Red Rain universe there is no comfort. He's alone, and grief consumes him. Bruce killed his parents for that very purpose, because he wanted Dick to be consumed by grief and hopelessness like him. Getting Dick to be like him and getting Dick to be obsessed with him was kind of his entire goal from the moment he laid eyes on him. Bruce's main presence up until the end where he shows up is shown largely through Dick's hunt, through Dick's obsession. Bruce wanted them to be inseparable and he very much succeeded in the end. By the time Jason and crew cross paths with them it's already too late. Everything is as Bruce wanted it to be. So a yandere vampire brudick au, basically.

There's also Outsiders 2003, which I keep meaning to read but haven't quite gotten to. Dick leads another team, but Donna just died so he's even meaner and cagier than he usually is.

gah. i really wanna finish that nightwing spreadsheet. i'll probably post it once i finish the 1996 section, or at least get it caught up to where it stops before crossing over with war games.

i've made a lot of these but theyre just things that i eventually wanna read, the dick grayson one is really the only one with anything in it rn <-(one track mind. and that track is called blorbo)

[spookfished]

big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

[fagdykefriendship]

s&b spoilers

shadow and bone s2 was GOOD im pretty much either indifferent to or super into all the changes they made. um and wylan was perfect absolutely 100% wylan. and tbh there’s a lot of differences in medium between books/tv and i think it’s good they included some crows backstory in this season

simply because. as book readers we all know these characters. but if you were someone watching the show only i personally wld get so frustrated if a show waited til like a spin-off or season 3 or whatever to give me backstory on very mysterious interesting characters. it was good. and also mostly kaz i mean we don’t have wylans backstory yet… and not all of jespers like we saw his mom but not his dad. he’s got issues around both parents <3

ALSO ALSO?!!! alina. alina. highkey i liked what they did with her. like it struck a good middle ground!! between the fact that the original ending is good bc she sacrifices her powers to save the world (sacrifices of war) and the fact that it is annoying to see someone fight for their powers and then have them completely stripped away. i enjoyed this ending. there’s consequences for merzost.. she’ll never be the same.. AND it fits w lore since shadow summoning kinda seems to have come from morzova’s merzost and manifested into his child being a shadow summoner

only change i didn’t like was david. i hope he comes back but i don’t think he will or at least not how he was.

i’m highkey also loving the changes to jesper and wylan they did feel like the least developed as a couple in six of crows and i do enjoy them getting to have a silly little romance amongst all the tragedy and shit…

i think definitely part of how s2 was done is bc netflix is known to randomly cancel shows and show runners have to like. make every season be a kind of ending these days since they have no guarantee they’ll get an additional season. but i pray that we get six of crows jurda parents heist. intrigued by a lot of things. especially how they’ll get inej back into the soc plot when she’s already achieved her goal essentially.. that’s not a complaint tho just a wondering. it also gives them the opportunity to develop kaz and inej beyond what’s in the books!!

idk i kind of think of the show as a high budget fanfic. which makes it so fun. it’s not a direct adaptation it’s a what if something different (that still makes sense) happened! what if the crows interacted with the s&b characters! it’s so fun i loved s2

i am. so fucking glad it essentially ended with single alina bc I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE BIGGEST FAN OF SINGLE ALINA!! and so glad they changed up and skipped a lot of book 2 bc let’s be real that book suffers serious pacing issues. it’s so slow. love alina’s agency. i saw some random person complaining about her “making bad choices” but um tbh all her choices seemed generally like.. they made sense so that’s all that matters

[auspex]

17, 18 (ticket to gush abt markromances) 30, 36 for the meta oc asks!

17. Any OC OTPs?

LMAOOO i mean. Ok look. I am obsessed with Mark/Kassidy Conceptually but truly i do not know enough Kassidy to say. in THEORY if Kassidy isnt hiding some dark secrets it'd be CUTE AS ALL HELL and would make me KLFLKSDFJSDLKJFSJ. for those not in my insane servers Kassidy is a tremere who studies kindred psychology who is academic like mark and Depressed. He seems more human than most kindred and seems to share a sense of humor. like he goes out to watch movies and stuff. has a lil snark to him that mark has too. complained about academics to him. the ST confirmed that he's gay but Mark doesn't know that and IDK if Kassidy even knows (COULD YOU IMAGINE IF MARK HELPED HIM REALIZE OH MY GOD ... ID GO INSNAE... ). Ok theres more info but i wont go on a huge rant. but point is i know Kassidy is LONELY AS HELL and the idea that he's been hoping to find love/has given up on love for DECADES makes me go crazzyyy. I imagine Kassidy thinking "i could fix him" but GIRL YOURE WORSE THAN HIM so Mark would actually help him <3 aahaskjdafsdj

Sampson/Mark is dead <3 that is the tragedy of it <3 im hoping they can be best friends for real but. that may never happen either. the whole point is vampire society ruined What Could Have Been they have both Changed and Can't Go Back <3 I mean long long term who knows but for the foreseeable future no way and it makes me insane <3

either way. mark needs gay sex fr. someone please.

-

18. Any OC crackships?

Porphyria and Alakazam would be so funny. Disaster couple as fuck. Alakazam is an arrogant bastard and Porphyria is too confident in their cabal. They'd go around fuckin shit up and having a great time. then theyd actually bite off more than they could chew and go Oh Shit and turn back time/beg their cabal to help.

for Mark uhhh idk any of the weird pairings are just. weird to me and i dont like them.

-

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

I don't think Mark or Porphyria would akdsjfdskjf maybe Porphyria would collect them for her kids or for some weird fate spell thingie??? Mark would not do that ever alksdjflkdsf.

-

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh all of my OCs relationships belong to other people cause im lucky enough to play them in ttrpg games. Mark's coterie mates are 'owned' by the other players, Porphyria's are owned by 1 player and the ST... families are all ST.. Sampson is my STs character ... etc etc. sory not a veyr exciting answer.

[slowdripsunrise]

just kidding its not bedtime. i want to make a best of 2024 reads post but i have to update you all its been so long <- guy whos talking to herself over here. spoilers under the cut

lord okay lets see where we left off. meow.

the familiar by leigh bardugo !!!!! rated this one 5 stars, i can see how she lost some of her fans with this one as it didn't have as much magic as her other works do. but i thought the vibes were lovely and i'm always down for a waif of a male love interest. saw some people complaining that she's plagiarizing herself and copying the darkling and alina and well if she is i don't care because i never finished that series and probably never will. lol.

the fox wife by yangsze choo !!!!! oohhhhh the vibes. the snow. the grief. the silliness. ohhhhh my goodness. the characters !!!!!!!!!!! loved this one. 10/10 1000% recommend.

when among crows by veronica roth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't read anything by roth since i read divergent in maybe middle school. absolutely flabbergasted by the switch up because this was BEAUTIFUL. the setting was lush (as much as chicago can be lush) and rich and full of history and in such a short time i cared for all of the characters. the IMAGERY. of the knights literally ripping the swords from their backs. delicious. the very very very slight touch of romance and the heavier touch of yearning. also delicious. this is such a short book that i recommend to everyone even if you don't think you'll like it, took me less than a day to read. OUHGHGHGHG

the wild huntress by emily lloyd-jones !!!!!!! she did it again yall !!! fucked me up with this one i sure as hell was not expecting that . genuinely one of my favorite YA authors of all time. makes myths feel real and tangible and i was damn there in that forest. the concept is fascinating but familiar and well who doesn't love a little competition. the tragedy of knowing the best parts of you are gone. that you killed them. that the best parts of you were another person that is no longer there and well. okay i was rooting for a throuple there but the established qpr was in fact nice while it lasted and. okay note there is not actually an established in canon qpr but in my mind palace there is. anyway sorry just go read it. lol. its 2 am im tired.

summer sons by lee mandelo !!!!!! another lee mandelo book about fucked up gay people. thank you andrew for being the most repressed man alive and thank you sam for dealing with that. creeped me out because well i am a wimp but it was comforting also.

the whispering dark by kelly andrew !!!!! the second book in a row about a fucked up murderous teacher at a fucked up weird ass school. this one's just in boston not the american south. tbh i was listening to the audiobook and the accents weren't massachusetts enough for me so i turned it off but then i just kept reading lane's and colton's dialogue as blue and gansey. the vibes of those two were PALPABLE. bluesy you will find each other in every lifetime even if one of you is a fucked up demon thing. had fun.

your blood my bones by kelly andrew !!!!!!!!!!! slayed. another qpr/throuple where one of them dies. SAD! writing was gorgeous. imagery immaculate. this one i think was hyped a little bit too much for me to fully enjoy it bc i kept on waiting for something truly. truly insane to happen and well insane things did happen. and you know what they did make me insane. i don't know why i was about to complain i rated this 5 stars. i think the problem was i had just read the wild huntress which is a relatively similar sitch.... (3 people in love with each other in the woods and one of them dies) so it didn't like. blow my mind. but i still recommend.

thats it yall. now i just gotta find the jpegs for my 2024 favs post but that may be happening tomorrow. i sleep 🛏

[dvasva]

this is why i think the discussion of class, which is usually ignored in the mdzs fandom space unless talking about the antagonists, is VITAL to like understanding key relationships in the story, ESPECIALLY jiang chengs and wei wuxians. they do really love each other as brothers, but there is a class disparity there, an unequal power dynamic in the relationship. wei wuxian isnt just jiang chengs brother but also his subordinate and theres moments where jiang cheng is angry that wei wuxian is acting like one role when he wants the other role. wei wuxian is the son of a servant, its brought up more than once and not just cause its set dressing, its an important aspect of his character and defines a lot of his relationships. jiang cheng becomes upset at wei wuxian because of the promise that wei wuxian will always follow him, but when wei wuxian found something else he felt obligated to, the wen remnants, that was both a brother breaking his promise and a subbordinate betraying his leader.

i mean, thats part of the reason the book goes to such great lengths establishing wei wuxian as lan wangjis equal, because of the class dynamics in play. lan wangji always seems to ignore class dynamics, and always is defined by his distance and unwillingness to participate with the politics of cultivation society. Wei wuxians interactions with everyone else minus the wens, lan wangji, and the juniors, are defined by his place in the hierarchy, class, and what he has the audacity or gall to do based on that. Nobody complains when nie huaisang doesnt carry his sword but when wei wuxian does it, he is rude. Nobody bats an eye when jin guangshan is a womanizer, but when wei wuxian is rumored to be one, hes a crass dog.

this all comes back to a major point of all of mxtx novels that i mention all the time, which is that Mxtx novels are about outcasts to society trying and failing to find happiness in society because of their failure to adhere to the status quo, and how in order to find happiness, they need to reject that status quo, and society at large. This kind of theme is integral to mdzs, and jin guangyao is a big example of it. His downfall was being an outsider who did everything in his power to conform to society including things that were morally questionable or downright bankrupt, and in turn society turned on him, destroying him. Wei Wuxian rejected society before his death and society turned on him, destroying him.

I also habe said this before, but Jiamg chemg serves as a litmus test on societies opinion on wei wuxian. Jin guangyao says himself that if jiang cheng hadnt paid any attention to the rest of cultivation society, hadn't listened to the snake in his ear telling him wei wuxian was disrespectful and needed to be controlled, they would have been fine. Jiang cheng serves, in the story, as the voice of the status quo, and his relationship with wei wuxian, even at the start, involved a lot of him telling wei wuxian that he is acting in a way that isnt befitting of his station, or that is rude or shameful. he does it in the cloud recesses, does it during the cave scene, during the war, does it after the war, etc. His imternal struggle is trying to reconcile the position and power he holds over wei wuxian as his sect leader with his concern and feelings for wei wuxian as his brother.

And, unpopular opinion, thats why im ok they didnt reconcile at the end. Neither of them know how to create a relationship with one another that doesnt involve their class dynamics.

(Also, since i know people have brought/will bring it up, Every character in mdzs minus a few antagonists and the juniors, have engaged in a cycle of self sacrifice that ultimately ends in tragedy. Its a big aspect of the books. Wwx gives his core, jiang cheng runs out, lwj takes 33 whips for saving wwx, wen qing and wen ning turn themselves in, xiao xingchen and his eyes, etc etc. antagonists whos priorities are mostly selfish or who are acting in their owns elf interest like jin guangayo (regardless of how altruistic his actions are) and xue yang, are excluded mostly, and juniors arent apart of it as a way to break the cycle of trauma that the older generation has gotten invovled with. its not just wei wuxian and jiang cheng who do self sacrifical actions for the sake of a person that ultimately ends in a firther tragedy, its all of them)

currently crying in my place of work thinking about how jiang cheng fell in front of wei wuxian begging his mother not to hurt him, not to cut his hand off. how in the cave he screamed for wei wuxian to follow him out and promised he'd come back for him when he realized his big brother was staying behind with lan wangji in order to make sure everyone else could escape. how he let himself get captured by the wens so that wei wuxian could be safe, and lost his golden core. how devastated he was telling wei wuxian that if he continued protecting the wens, jiang cheng couldn't keep him safe anymore. and people have the audacity to say he was a bad brother...

[nightmarist]

the ending was all over the place.

folie a duex spoilers

i was really with it during the court confession scene.

the main thing i see people complain about is "there is no joker" that "we [the audience] was the joker all along" and first and foremost. they're all stupid beyond belief. "there is no joker" meant hes admitting he didnt have a split personality, that he killed all those people. not that He Wasnt The Joker, but that there is no additional personality, its All him. i LOVED that scene so much.

the courthouse exploded. i thought it was another daydream sequence. a guy dressed up as the joker showed up to pull him out of there. i think two or three more guys dressed up as him would have helped.

didnt like the joke the inmate was telling. the emphasis on "psychopath" was cringy.

i dont mind musicals. the stage segments were beautiful but the actual musical parts went on for way too long when we could have gotten a bit more movie.

i feel like the Point of the ending was that because he's not what people wanted (a sensationalist Joker caricature they wanted to worship as The Next Best Thing and a Fuck You to "Society") he gets discarded. Which is what he's been his entire life, discarded over and over again. I love that concept, there's a beautiful tragedy to it.

I also kind of like the idea of him getting killed instead of chaired also, as this additional means of people are SO disappointed with him not being what they Want him to be he doesnt even get the death he was promised. but the execution feels kind of janky.

im a little frustrated. i like the idea that arthur is just a vehicle for sensationalism and when he tried to break away from it, everyone who pretended to like him just left. but the ending felt all over the place. the spirit of the point was there, but it didnt land for me.

alas.

[hovkinnie]

honkai domination and kolosten arc spoilers/rambling+ some heavy complaining after the read more (it's basically a whole ass essay im so fucking sorry lkfjdslkfjdslkfj)

thinking ab how fucking rad and meaningful kolosten would've been if the domination arc had ended with kiana and HoV coexisting instead of what we got.

It definitely would've been better to do that with more setup of them actually talking throughout the story (which is the same thing you can say about the way it went, imo) but even without it- it would've been even more in line with what I think are the most resonant themes of that story.

The thing that made me fall in love with honkai like I did was the themes around victimhood and antagonism. Sirin, Wendy, Bronya, basically all the Herrschers we've seen- whenever a character that wasn't Otto during the beginning stages of the story became a threat to the world, it was never really because they were "evil". They were victims of the cruel world around them, sometimes victims of the same organisms that fought against the supposed real evil of the honkai, and either broke or lashed out because of their real vulnerability.

But in a lot of those moments the story understood two things: one, that that's a tragedy, one that deserves to become motivation to change the world so this kind of thing can't happen again, and two, that if at all possible, despite the threat they might pose to our characters or the world, what they deserve isn't hostility but compassion. Because they aren't the perpetrators of their own violence, only the victims through which it becomes externalized.

This compassion IS extended to Sirin, not only in Second Eruption but also through Kiana, who, despite being a danger in a sense because of HoV, is shown compassion as one of two different people carrying on from Sirin's past.

But imo, it undercuts this theme that HoV isn't extended the same compassion. Because HoV is not only a more direct threat to the world than just Kiana by proxy, she's a much more direct inheritor of what Sirin could represent: A righful anger at the world that victimised her, one that isn't content to fight to protect that world.

And in a story that had at that point so wonderfully allowed characters who were framed as villains to be accepted for who they are, to be recognized as the victims they are and shown a path forward that didn't end with them burning out, in a story with Bronya's self-determination being fought for, with Mei becoming a Herrscher that fights in her own way to protect who she loves, with HoS being shown compassion, Fu Hua being stopped from sacrificing herself for absolution and a pointless so-called victory, with Seele being allowed to live in harmony with her other self and taking her own name, it's just painful that HoV's anger cannot be accepted and coexisted with.

I know that it's not a hugely popular opinion, but I think kolosten drops the ball with Otto, and I think it's because until that point, we had seen Otto from the perspectives of those who were the most hurt by his actions, some of whom might have developed a sort of stockholm syndrome but who were still able to see the hurt he's caused the world. We knew, always, that his view of the world did not include the real compassion that we'd seen growing in the main cast towards those victimised by him, the thing that to me was the emotional core of honkai. Where kolosten fails for me is that now we got so, so, SO much from his own perspective, his own hand-washing, while getting absolutely NOTHING about the people he'd hurt.

We knew throughout the story, always, that the kinds of experiments he'd done to people en masse for hundreds of years were a kind of mass torture that was what created Sirin as a Herrscher in the first place, the pain that created her anger. We knew that Kallen would've been better off if he'd never been so obsessed with her because we got her perspective on that history, and we knew that the world would've been better off in the years after that because we got the perspectives of the people most hurt by his actions. And yet kolosten gave us none of those perspectives, only focusing on him, the people with the most stockholm syndrome for him, and Kiana as a newly-reborn protagonist who isn't about to let anger cloud her judgement.

All kolosten felt like was a pity party for what was undoubtedly one of the most horrid men imaginable in that world. And that's really only because there were perspectives that were sorely lacking, perspectives that could've been there, ANGER that could've been there, if HoV was allowed to exist, if she was allowed to be there to say what I wanted to say the most to every character that I otherwise adore throughout that entire arc.

"Fuck this garbage fire that's been burning for 500 years. He doesn't get his pity party, or his one in a million shot to save someone who never wanted to be saved by him. He's hurt too many people to deserve anything other than a million void lances tearing him apart, one for each person whose life he ruined by existing."

Because if your compassions for victims doesn't extend to accepting that they're allowed to just fucking HATE those who hurt them, then it isn't worth shit.

[coldshinypearl]

shu sakamaki x reader fanfic

Mariage Blanc

chapter 1

nothing ever goes as planned, she has been devastated with the news of the arranged marriage, her world fell, just like her plans and her hopes, but she will not stay silent,

disclaimers: this fanfiction contains reader insert, the reader will be presented as [y/n], for major informations click this post, english is not my first language! Im sorry if there will be misunderstandings in my writing i’m doing everything i can to improve it!

The moon’s light met [y/n]’s closed lashes, the silk thin white curtains slowly separated from the window’s clear glass as wind caressed them, making her skin shiver from the thin blows of the night’s cold air.

her eyes opened meeting the ceiling as she took a deep breath, her pale hands slid the soft duvets that were covering her off her body, with a simple elegant gesture she pulled her spine up sitting in her bed, her head slowly turned to the left side as she took her legs down to the ground, her feet meeting her slippers.

as her gaze wondered around the room’s tall walls, her mind opened making her remember what a night was waiting for her.

this will be the start of her future. Everything she had planned so far, will become true.

she will have the kingdom, the title, and more importantly, tonight she will make her debut as the diamond of the season, from today on, there will be nothing but proposals, suitors, gifts and such, she will be the more desired amongst the clans.

she will be shining. Just like a diamond.

the tall wooden door opened revealing the dozens of gagged maids storming inside of the room’s center in line, all each for introducing her to the big day forward.

as she was getting dressed up by her servants, she started fantasizing about her life, tonight, everyone’s eyes will be on her, she will be drenched and filled with attentions, since the first day of her life, she always dreamt about this day, when the day will come, you will be loved, you will be envied, you will be desired, her mother used to tell her as an infant.

those were nothing but bedtime stories until this very moment, at dances as a child she saw how older teens were always hugged with love and envy by others, she imagined herself at their place.

finally. Her time has come.

her servant passed her dry aged finger in her cheek tinting it with the rosy dye of blush, the soft fur of the thin brush met her eyelid giving it a gold ish tint that matched her accessories.

and not common ones, she will be wearing the family’s diamonds, carved gold jewelry with authentic precious stones that shows the fortunes increased in them.

the gown has been requested especially for her, she waited days to wear it, her gown was white silk with little gold sparkly point on the sleeves and upper skirt, it came down to her foots hiding her pale perfect ankles.

no one in her family ever received this treatment, mainly because at a certain age every female of her dynasty was matched in an arranged marriage, which of course it wasn’t her case, she already had previous talks with her mother and father about marriage, she wanted to marry the one she loved, and they didn’t complain not one time.

an arranged marriage wouldn’t hit her, oh god what would happen if it would! She chuckled at the thought of her being matched, she could never be combined in a marriage with a total stranger, and the future she worked so hard for would melt like ice under warm sun.

her giggle caught her head’s maid attention.

-“My Lady? May i ask what ever she’s chuckling for?” The servant’s warm low voice came out of her smiling thin lips as she clotted her hand with a white silk glove.

she chuckled again, [y/n] looked up at her from the mirror meeting her eyes.

-“No particular meaning behind it, i was only thinking about the impossible tragedies that would have hit my future if Father decided to match me in an arranged marriage” she giggled covering her smirking lips with her palm.

she looked back at the servant noticing that her smile faded at her words, her head titled to side to side noting how the other maids looked worried and avoided eye contact with the other.

she decided to ignore it, maybe there was just something wrong about her choice of language.

well she couldn’t get herself lost in chatters, she had a ball she must attend to.

as the servants were giving her appearance ultimate final touches, she admired her figure in the long mirror in front of her, she was perfect, her hair was perfect, her gown was perfect, everything was perfect.

-“My Lady, the carriage is attending her presence” one of the servants said interrupting her thoughts.

-“I must make haste, you’re only right” she turned her figure to her servant smiling at her.

with the impeccability of a swan, she leaved her room walking straight from the tall halls to the quartz stairs at the entrance, her head up and her lips softly curved in a winning smirk.

her short heels tapped every step in the stairs signing her steps getting closer to the carriage that was waiting for her.

she went across the tall wooden door, as she walked through the garden getting closer to the carriage, her smirk wouldn't melt out of her lips.

the charioteer slowly opened the carriage's door for her as he landed a second hand to her glove, as her head popped her parents, who seemed quite displeased with the time she took, glanced at her.

-"Greetings father, mother" she said smiling as her voice came out low.

her parents stayed quiet not even gazing at each other, Father's arms crossed, Mother had a disgusted expression hiding under that calm look of hers.

they probably had an altrecation earlier this sunset. Just like every single night.

the journey to the ballroom was commonly quiet, until mother decides to speak up.

-"Dearest, you shall be aware that at your years its non less than common that many men will attempt to come at you" mother said locking her eyes down her veiny hands as she held onto her feather fan.

[y/n] took a deep breath gazing up at her mother.

-"We shall only hope so, mother" she said smirking and crossing her arms togheter satisfied.

the carriage wiggled and then stopped, quickly after the door opened revealing the entrance of the ballroom, a tall white door with golden circled edges.

her parents elegantly exited the carriage, her mother locking her clotted hand in her father’s curved arm, clearly unpleased with the other they sighed as they made their way inside the ballroom.

[y/n]’s heels touched the ground, with a majestic movement she grabbed the hem of her gown, revealing just the tip of her shoe, with a hit in the air she opened the feather fan and slowly moved it to her right cheek.

[y/n] stepped onto the balcony up the decorated ball room, eyeing every guest, softly smiling at them all, the guests, one by one, turned their figures and heads up at the balcony, gazing at her.

attentions.

[y/n] titled her figure to the stair’s side, as her legs made her slightly wiggle at every step her heels tapped in the stairs, her head was gazing in the ballroom, when suddenly, she met two turquoise shiny diamonds.

those shiny, deep irises could only belong to him.

the first born of the demon’s king, Sakamaki Shu.

he was looking at her with those semi-closed eyes that recalled the non existent desire of being there, he just looks exquisite the same, with that bored look that no one can move, and those classical features making him look like prince charming.

next to him standing no one but the king himself, with that golden gaze, and those long pale curls, that made him recognizable every were.

shall be in luck who marries you. She tought.

as she made her way to the foots of the stair’s case, men came to kiss her gloved hand greeting her, some fo them were already aged and married, with their dry wives behind them that envied [y/n], and others detached from the young womens they were talking to just one instant ago.

the soft notes came out from the violin’s once again, as coupled gathered and collected by the pavilion of the room, [y/n] got her figure out of the men’s reach as she went to greet generals and ministers that were knowings of her dynasty, for the rest of the night, she laughed, joked and reciprocated the sharp looks some girls gave her.

so far, the men could’ve eaten their own wrists out of rage, she only danced with her father and the right hand Adler’s magistrate, she knew that playing hard to get would’ve only increased the number of pretenders at her door the next night.

all there wished to be only acknowledged by [y/n], all. expect. for him.

as always Shu Sakamaki repeated his routines at every ball, listening to Father’s politic ‘friends’ and how they complain about their wives age, avoiding young women that crawled around him, trying to forget that he will soon be at his position.

[y/n] wondered, what kind of woman would he want? Maybe a really foolish and careless one so she won’t complain about his lack of energy, or maybe a more positive and energetic one that would do all the work for him, or maybe a very lustfuly and perverse one, to fill his desires.

well that shall not concern her since queen position wasn’t what was she looking at, it is only right to say that she was avoiding every pretender that had royal roles.

the glorious night ended, and with it the first step onto her future, she would smile victoriously if only her Father and Mother weren’t discussing again about trivial matters.

dizzily she took some slight steps onto the carriage as the ball’s butcher helped her, inside the carriage she rested her back stretching it in the backrest, as she felt her eyelids dropping down, her breaths came out relaxed and tired.

she feel asleep, relaxed and satisfied with her debut’s result.

another night came, the moon’s light lighted the dining room’s windows making them sparkle.

the ceiling was tall along with it the doors and windows, at the center of the room a long dining table in black oak, of course vampires don’t need food, but our [y/n] thinks that they should have all meals together as a family, the loneliness on the rest of the table, quiet like they weren’t even present.

as they had breakfast [y/n] noted their movements, didn’t even look at each other, not like there wasn’t a meter of distance between the three of them, but they could at least greet the other since they both share a bed, she took a crunched bite off the toasted bread she picked up.

i wonder if my marriage will resemble them… She thought sighing.

a happy marriage isn’t the easiest thing to achieve, no pardon me, its the hardest thing to even imagine.

[y/n] wondered her mind off, remembering her cousin’s reaction when finding out that she had to match for the rest of her life, with an aged, dry old minister. Rage, absolute rage.

As the thought about it, an arranged marriage is the least of the possibilities, but… why on earth is every being in this dining room so quiet and visibly nervous, maids and butlers.

even her parents seemed worried.

she tilted her head to the side speaking up.

-“Mother, father, is something bothering you perhaps? This night is surprisingly quiet” [y/n] asked as she took a little sip at her cup of tea.

they both sighed. What? She thought, her mother united her hands together at the table, her father crossed arms, both of them looking down as maids and butler did the same.

her mother took a deep breath, [y/n] posed her cup of tea on the table quickly, clearly something was up.

her mother’s pitiful gaze turned to look at her finally, as her father did so.

-“Dearest, you might have heard that the King’s first born is prospecting to a match for a queen, far in past he is about to receive the Demon’s world” her mother said as her eyes gathered water.

[y/n] curled her eyebrows, her mother was about to cry? Was this so bad.

she nodded, in fact she knew about the existence of a certain rumor that said that he was seeking for a wife by just look.

-“And, you obviously noted how we weren’t much around yesterday at the ball room.” her mother continued as she looked at her father.

they both held hands, for the first time in a long while.

her father opened his mouth and…

-“Karlheinz offered you the position as his wife, and we accepted.”

her father said finally making her mother tear as the maids and servants were looking down.

…

you… did… what..?

that was all she could think of, her eyes widened, her hands grabbed and held tight the tableware, tears came out of her eyes as her eyelids trembled.

she all but jumped her seat, her hands stroked from side to side of the table throwing every silverware and porcelain plate that there was on her side, the deafening rumble of the glass hitting the ground and finishing in hundreds of pieces, had her parents wide opened about her reaction.

she stormed almost running out of that dining room, her tears and rage flied over her body as she ran inside her bedroom, she threw her knees down to the foot of her bead and held her head pressed in the duvets crying her heart out.

how could they..? She thought.

her mother was the one who helped [y/n] organizing her perfect future.

her parents joined her inside her room.

-“Dearest, i acknowledge your displeasure with the news, but that is far away from the manners we have taught you” her father spoke up, clearly angry.

[y/n] rised her head and turned to their direction, her eyes tearing like water falls.

-“You have no heart!” [y/n]’s voice came out trembling in rage.

-“I mean nothing at all to you, you knew about my plans and my future, i wanted it more than anyone else!” she continued to speak as her head trembled.

[y/n] pressed her head back in the duvets.

-“Silence! That’s an absurd way to talk to your father young lady. We must apologize, but you must know that nobody questions our will, least of all our daughter.” her mother spoke up like she wasn’t tearing just an instant ago, so false.

[y/n] couldn’t tell the rest of the words, her rage and sadness started to drown her in her own tears, how could they?

that was a stranger, a total stranger, what if he did the worst things to her? That bothered man, who got his heart broke by no being, who’s cold like ice, pretty like diamonds.

why did he have to choose her? Why out of every girl her? Why when he and every single being knew about her plans.

so cruel.

but no, she won’t stay silent.

[ chapter - 2 - ] 05.03.23

[ prologue ]

current date : 27th february 2023

[meyhew]

what made you stop liking harry

i rly hate when ppl post essays abt why theyre "unstanning" or whatever so its under the cut

i haven't rly vibed with him since early 2020. the first Big red flag for me was when he released the stupid STUPID covid merch, which cost me some mutuals (that i'd been previously very fond of) because i said it was a tone deaf thing for him to do and just very stupid—all the while masquerading around los angeles getting papped at the onset of a global pandemic. like that was so so stupid. i dont care if the proceeds or the profits or whatever went to charity; he could easily donate that much money out of his own pocket without putting factory workers at even more risk.

i forget when his casting in my policeman was announced but i do know that he knew about it when he was going to those black lives matter protests and kneeling with black people, knowing full well he'd agreed to play a cop—in 1950s england of all places. in a movie that will not address that racism and colonization because it's about two white gay men. newsflash: gay cops are class traitors. as a pakistani queer person, i HATE his involvement in that story and there's nothing u can say to change my mind about that

not excited about dont worry darling bc every mf on the planet has been obsessed with olivia wilde and if he's fucking her or if she's an evil bitch or whatever and im bored. i dont care

i fucking hate pleasing. i HATE pleasing. i hate that its a "lifestyle" brand, which means they can sell literally anything they want without actually having any credibility or authority to do so. im sick of celebrity makeup brands but at least those celebrities deal with makeup a lot on a daily basis. harry specifically has no business putting out skincare items—which aren't even good—and charges the prices that he has. i hate how much they charge for shipping and for literally everything, and how late their deliveries are. taking literal months and months. yes i know harry himself doesnt dictate all of that but it's his name attached to the brand. if i have a problem with ariana grande's makeup line, i'm going to complain about ariana grande—not the people putting together the formulas. u know?

OH. there was also that nfl/pepsi fiasco. lmao. forgot about that until now but that made me feel incredibly icky and im glad it was disaster

i didn't like harry's house

i also dont like his silence regarding palestine. ironically this isnt AS much of a contributing factor bc he doesnt need to comment on everything going on in the world but he has a habit of saying something when tragedy strikes somewhere that isn't palestine. so that has left a bad taste in my mouth <3

and i HATE his fans. the way they talk about him is so fucking obnoxious. if they didnt harass me literally every single maybe i might still care a little bit. but i blacklisted his name a few months ago bc blocking only goes so far and i did not want to see what these freaks were saying, which resulted in me rarely ever seeing anything harry related. and i realized... i don't really care if i dont see him. and that was that. it's not like any one big thing happened and i decided i hate him. i just realized i dont rlly love him anymore the way i once did. i still really love self titled and fine line and i'll probably still listen to any other music he puts out but yeah. thats all