#which i dont have to do at all! im literally offering to work a little despite my sick note! which is not even legal

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

im still dealing with the consequences of my accident - where i fell down five meters and was almost paralysed meaning i had to get emergency surgery on my spine but i also broke my foot which has enforced my already existing back and posture issues - leading to pain and sometimes debilitating pain. yet my doctor says there is no chance this is recognised as a disability which would mean i get special worker protection which i feel i need because im being guilt-tripped and not believed and probably soon to be fired at both my jobs because i have to call in sick every now and then due to sitting at a desk on the computer literally causing me pain. this is making me suicidal again, despite being on antidepressants. i already had health issues before the accident especially mental health so now im just super hopeless and anxious for the future

edit: i have a decent support net in my life and soon to start therapy so please dont worry about me, i just need to vent my frustration and feelings sometimes! i appreciate everyone reaching it out a lot though!

[readymades2002]

if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff

[phagodyke]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

[awsugar]

And I forgot about the DRUMS!!! I think this is an album they may have been working on for years. I think they are going for a magnum opus

yea so i read this went you sent it at 6am cause ive been out of work sick for a few days now and my sleep is allll messed up. and i tinhatted EXTREMELY close to the sun on this one. but i kind of think im cooking. so let me explain.

also ill just say i think because we know somethings coming but we dont know what BUT we know there are threads throughout somehow connecting things from years prior like. all tinhatting is plausible until proven otherwise. if we want to draw a connection between two things we CAN. and i think thats why im so on board with mcr5 now when i havent been since 2019. bc ive done this before. i was in the trenches for the danger days rollout/promo and the transmissions on the website and everything and THAT was one of the most exciting times of my life and THIS reminds me of that. im glad people never gave up on mcr5 but they never gave me ENOUGH before now to really run with. and now they have and its a free for all. THIS is what being an mcr fan is about. tbh. this is what this fandom has been missing for AGES. when they dont give us teasers and lore and crpytic messages we devolve into like theorizing and arguing with each other about who they are as people. but this is the basis of mcr community to me....getting together with your pals inside your phone and inside your laptop (who now have grown ito irl friends for so many of us) and dissecting every shred of info they give us. thank god for my chemical romance.

ANYWAY sorry that. went down a path i didnt intend when i started. so yes um so what you said about them going for a magnum opus. let me tell you a little story. when i was in my first year of being a my chem fan, i was 13, i became QUICKLY obsessed, first with the black parade and then after i spent i think 2 months straight listening to nothing but the black parade on repeat all day every day (literally) i ventured into their other stuff and got like really sucked in to everything else, reading articles and interviews and watching every video of them youtube had to offer and talking about them 24/7 on the forums instead of doing homework, i would sneak the family laptop into my room at night so i could keep reading about them and talking about them instead of having to go to sleep it was THE most exhilarating and exciting time of my life. anyway. i remember (16 years later) reading a specific review of the black parade that said something like "my chemical romance will never top this album and they know it" and i STILL REMEMBER sitting on the couch and crying over it. because i had never listened to music that had made such an impact on me as the black parade IN MY LIFE. nothing had ever made me feel that way and that strongly as listening to that album. you know how we all always say we wish we could listen to my chem for the first time again just to have that feeling again. that was me. i had never experienced an album of their when it came out and i felt like the author of the article was telling me that i would basically never acheive that high again. it was devastating. i promise this is relevant. bc regardless of your PERSONAL FAVORITE my chem album, it is generally agreed upon that the black parade is their magnum opus. it just is. both in scale and musically and its impact on pop culture and its the best known to a general audience.

so you say they're going for a magnum opus. when the black parade is DEAD. they killed it. (in the new lore they were sent to the MOAT which i assume is some kind of exile and stripping of their status as the national band)

and so i started thinking about "in the face of extermination say FUCK YOU" and i think this applies here two-fold actually. MAYBE 3-fold. on one hand, in-universe. extermination being the concrete age, the dictator holding the people down and exterminating their livelihood. but also the extermination of the black parade! and then - irl - we have the extermination of mcr's chances of doing something huge again like this. music publications resigning them as soon as the album came out to never achieving something as epic and grand as that again.

and the FUCK YOU being, the opposition of the dictator from the people, the black parade being reinstated but? maybe they have plans to overthrow the dictator? IRL mcr saying fuck you, we can actually use the concept that you said was the best we would ever do, completely turn it on its head, and make something even more grandiose and epic and MAGNUM OPUS.

and also hail just reminded me obv of the UNKILLABLES drumhead in sydney. which both relates to franks personal experience there but also like. with this concept of in the face of extermination say fuck you. along with his end of tour post being a cockroach, notoriously unkillable! notoriously a target for extermination!!!!

god theres so many layers to this but i needed to get it off my chest do you still like me

[leelesbo]

so this may be a bit of an odd request lol. im not personally into tickeling, but my partner is. i find it really attractive how into it he is, and am super willing to participate for him, but as hes into the lee and ler sides of it, sometimes when im taking the ler role, i sort of run out of ideas on what to say and do LOL. it doesnt come naturally to me like you all who actually Do have the fetish. i basically just picked your blog randomly cause we're the same age and you seem to have experience with it and i dont think he follows you already, but i was hoping you could offer some advice or ideas on good things to say and do that may not be obvious? i'd ask him but he gets so flustered over it that its basically impossible HDFJKGKDFHGL

this is the cutest sweetest ask omfg i would LOVE to help out. i love yapping about tickling you came to the right person (this turned out to be really long so it’s all under the cut LMFAO)

so for teasing, a lot of the times it really depends on Who you’re teasing!! for instance, im not personally a huge fan of the whole “coochie coochie coo” “tickle tickle tickle” thing bc its just Way too babyish and infantile for me, but ive found a lot of people in this community really like it and it flusters them a lot!!! if youre unsure, typical teases like that couldn’t hurt to try!

ok i said “tickle tickle tickle” didnt work on me but Actually in the right context that absolutely could work bc the simple act of Hearing The Word is insanely flustering. fr, if you just keep repeating how ticklish he is, asking if something tickles, maybe even figure out a way to force Him to say the word it should work. there’s smth about knismos where our brain overloads hearing that word and it’s even so hard to say, it’s extremely flustering being forced to say it!!

also, focusing on spots and Talking about how that particular spot is affecting them is killer. if you’re tickling his ribs and it’s making him giggle more than belly-laugh, point that out!!! “oh you really like the ribs, don’t you? you’re giggling so much you can’t even talk! try! go on, tell me how much it tickles!” for me and a lot of other knismos, tickling is a lot about feeling Analyzed. experiment with specific spots and see how differently it affects him. verbally take notes on the differences!

also, emphasize how much he’s enjoying it even if/when he’s Begging for you to stop or move spots. knismos love to pretend we hate it, it adds to the fun of the whole thing. but don’t ONLY emphasize that he’s enjoying it, also throw in how horrible it must be!! how he’s too ticklish to take it, how it must be so bad if he’s screaming for mercy.

(i literally keep thinking of new things to add this is going to be so long sorry)

AND AND AND!!! POINT OUT HOW FLUSTERED HE IS!! how red his face has gotten, how he keeps repeating the same thing over and over bc his brain is fuzzy and he can’t Speak Properly, maybe he can’t figure out what to do with his hands, or he keeps trying to hide his face! LET HIM KNOW U CAN SEE EVERY LITTLE REACTION!!! it’s about the attention to detail babyyyy

tickle teasing can also go beyond the actual Act of tickling. tease him when you aren’t even tickling him!! wiggle your fingers his way, throw the word in casual conversation (“what you said earlier really tickled me”), poke him when ur out in public!! little things :3

when you Are tickling him, make him tell you what spots tickle more. make him help you! maybe choose two spots at a time, tickle one spot and then the other, and make him tell you which was worse (this ofc will take Many trials and retests juuuust to be sure he was right the first time 😌). use different methods and make him choose which is worse! hands or teeth? feathers or raspberries? the list can go on and on and you’ll both be sure to have a lot of fun testing out the varieties of the game lol

okay so i could literally keep going FOREVER but ill stop here for now bc ive already written a fucking essay!!! if you want more i’d be elated to go again, my brain is constantly on Tickle Mode so im always happy to yap about it!!

anyway, hope this helped!! hope you guys have fun, im happy to be of service :3

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypastas comforting the reader

except some of them arent particularly good at it + as per usual jeff ben and toby are written as platonic everyone else can be seen as either or writing a silly little thing before i tackle in on requests, falling into the same vibe as the "hugging/kissing creepypasta characters" post from last week since i do enjoy rating these lads on thing ehehehe obligatory "these style of posts go over my personal character limit but since this is writing for the admin he bends the rules a bit" anyways uhuh totally dont give me ideas for these eheheh winks

SLENDERMAN:

not much of a talker in general, and i think that remains true in scenario where you're upset/crying. but he does make it clear that hes here for you... just... in a general sense. you know? refuses to leave you alone unless you directly ask him that you need space; more so watches out of concern rather than his usual curiosity. i think he would make you a warm drink and let you vent to him. more of a logical approach than an emotional one; better at giving solutions rather than giving comfort.. though i like to think that his tentacles will pull you close if you want to lean into him, will let you cry into his shoulder with no judgement. 6/10 low score simply because sometimes one needs comfort in the moment instead of solutions, you know?

SPLENDORMAN:

i think hes the opposite of slenderman. hes all emotions first, logic later. if he already knows you comfortable with it, i think he would come in and scoop you up in a hug.. hell he might even cry with you, or do the equivalent of it (admin is still on the fence of whether or not he has eyes or not! torn between them being actual eyes or markings) will make you your favorite snacks and drinks, all the while letting you cry and vent to him. gets mad on your behalf if someone had done you wrong, does not make your feelings feel small or invalidated. if he could he would confront the person who treated you unfairly.... and in fact he might, who would ever believe the person that they came face to face with a ten foot tall monster? though... this can lead to him being a little quick to make choices that might have big impacts... 7/10 love this man need to write more for him and develop my hcs

EYELESS JACK:

you know now that i think about it, given how much i write for EJ, i swear ive done a similar prompt at some point. regardless of it i did and if my hcs are the same, im going to go ahead and drop my hcs. i think hes very similar to slenderman in terms that hes more of a solutions > emotion person.. though i do think hes more likely to join you in any shit talking if someone did you dirty... do i think he would target that person next when hes going to go 'hunting'? no... unless the person did something truly awful and unforgivable, then he would definitely consider it.. probably wont go through with a harvest, though.. but thats it whole other thing. more of a talker than slenderman, so at least he has that going for him. lets you sleep in his bed if youre venting to him in his cabin 7/10 one point higher than slenderman simply because he talks more n stuff

LAUGHING JACK:

im gonna be so real i think he can go either way if hes going to be good at comforting you. on one hand hes too silly and might not take it too seriously; or he might try to make you laugh.. which COULD work but other times makes it look like he doesnt care about your feelings. on the other hand i think he can give some solid adivce, but thats only based on the fact that i love it when unhinged hyper characters suddenly drop the most valuable info. shrugs. i mean if you need a distraction, i think lj is your man to go to ! he was literally made to entertain so i dont think its going to be too hard for him to take your mind elsewhere. i think he would offer to cook you something but i also think hed probably be banned from the kitchen because he cant cook for shit. has probably set water on fire somehow level shit. so instead you guys just sit together talking... mostly its him leading the conversation, though. doesnt leave you be until you at least give him a smile... 6.5/10 only because i dont know how to rate him here

MASKY/TIM:

oh not at all emotional. well no thats a lie but hes not very emotive. thats the more correct word. look if we're talking about masky, hes probably going to be really bad at comforting you unless your means to be comforted involves being watched... though i do think he would fall into the act of service hole.. does all the chores and such for you so you dont have to worry yourself about cleaning a pan thats been in the sink for two days now. tries his hand at cooking, but i dont think masky is the best cook.. TIM on the other hand.. but we'll get into that in a minute. probably ends in you guys ordering something but hey its the thought that counts. if someone made you upset you notice over the course of the next few weeks that person starts outright avoiding you and overall seems anxious. weird. probably unrelated! 7/10 only because im badly overworked irl and the idea of someone taking charge sounds like a dream

tim i think would be similar, but hes more expressive for you... will cook for you but if your favorite food happens to be really specific or something else, hes probably going to run out and get it. torn on whether or not he would tell you before he goes, or if he sticks to keeping it a surprise.. i think he would tell you just so it doesnt feel like hes abandoning you when youre down..! not much to be said here other than him being supportive 8/10 i would KILL for some white cheddar popcorn rn

HOODIE/BRIAN:

i think he would put you to bed. actually i think both of them would but to keep things clear im still going to divide this like masky/tims. i think hoodie is going to keep you in bed, even if youre not particularly tired. dont bother trying to fight him on it, hes only allowing you to get up for the bathroom. let him take care of things! very similar to masky, picks up on a lot of the chores. i think he can cook, though, definitely better than masky but i dont think hes like. top tier. likes making you little snacks, or food thats generally deemed as comforting (mac and cheese, cornbread, ect). doesnt talk (sign) much but will occasionally sign to you asking how you're feeling 7.5/10 love this man, so mad kid me used to sleep on hoodie

very similar, but an even better cook than hoodie so be prepared to eat good. communicates with you more than hoodie and makes small talk while cooking. i think he would keep the chat lighthearted and on a different topic rather than tackling your feelings, unless you express that you want to vent then hes all ears! not because he doesnt care more so because he doesnt want to seem prying or nosey and wants to give you the choice yourself. sometimes makes jokes about stuff in order to try to get you to smile. feels victorious when he succeeds 8/10 mad i slept on him too

TICCI TOBY:

i think he might actually be TOO strong and in your face when asking you what happened. only one who outwardly offers to krill someone if someone were to make you upset. but thats just because i think toby can occasionally get protective of you. i mean youre one of his best friends (only friends) and here you are upset! if you dont want him to do anything hes going to try to contain himself. he strikes me at the type to retreat to the roof and look up at the stars... i think he would offer to do that with you; but if youre too scared to climb then he can lay out a blanket for you so you guys can go sit on the grass! surprisingly a very good listener, though very emotionally driven and reacts a lot when you tell him the details of your day.. but its nice, i think, reassures you that hes is in fact listening.. 7/10 gives off brother vibes

JEFF THE KILLER:

ohhoho so this is an interesting one, because i like the idea of jeff still acting like an older brother every now and then even after everything. but he also has that attitude of "i dont care about anyone around me and im better than everyone".. more of an actions than words guy. he wont really say it.. you know? one of those "if he actually didnt care then he would bother giving you the time of day, much less break into your house at night with his arms full of your favorite snacks and drinks". good luck trying to vent to him though, i think its rare that he lets anyone vent to him since he also holds the "ew yucky feelings" thing ben has.. though once in a blue moon i think he would let you and give some decent advice... though every now and then that advice involves punching someone 6/10 is fair i think...

BEN DROWNED:

kind of reminds me of how younger siblings will give their older siblings know they like. kind of like the "my brother saw me crying and asked me what my favorite color is... he gave me things in that color" post/image going around that i cannot for the life of me find but i know it exists because it made me cry. i think its like that. except since hes in your phone he already knows what your interests are.. probably pulls up what your comforts and likes are in an attempt to cheer you up. i dont think he would bluntly speak with you about your feelings, but thats just because he thinks heart to hearts are yucky and cringe/lh. uses videos, art, stuff like that. ehehe silly phone ghost 7/10 because as simple as it is, if someone tossed my cc at me i would feel at least a little better for a moment and its the action itself you know?

PUPPETEER:

i thin hes similar to jeff in regard that he tries to play things off but deep down he does care, and that tends to show more through his actions... though i personally think if you were to actually cry then he might lose it a bit, because who DARE? i gotta admit, im still trying to figure out how i want to write pup and what hcs to give him, but i think.. this is an okay take.. might 'confront' anyone who made you upset, with or without your approval which might make some issues between the two of you.. more ready to let you vent to him though, might slip out some mean insults and words about whatever's got you upset regardless of its a person, chance, or object 7/10

[squeakadeeks]

had a wild one yesterday, had to go to the hospital and i have thoughts

honestly the whole thing was not that big of a deal, but it was a wild day.

I woke up at 5am, felt ok but with a mild pain in my left side. got ready and started going to work thinking "huh ok this pain is getting a little bit worse than i'd like but no big deal". got there and within an hour it went from "ouchie" to "HOLY FUCK". i tried to start with urgent care, but got sent to the ER immediately. spent the whole day there doing tests and imaging and they did actually find something which is a huge relief. plus what they found explains my experience to a tee so it offers some peace of mind.

but the funniest things to me are the following:

i know they have to do this, but I find it funny when the nurses ask "are you sexually active?" and I'm like "no" and then theyre like..."have you ever been sexually active" and again the answer is no, and the nurse is always without fail weird about it. like being apologetic bc i dont have any game, asking a bunch of questions like "are you sure", which ?? ??? girl what ??? ?? and most commonly thinking that im lying, when its like first of all:

second of all:

most of the time i get a kick out of how flustered they get when presented with the idea of an adult who has literally no interest in having sex despite that being a well known sexual orientation (like babygirl how in the hell is this a novel idea to you). but this time what ticked me off is they didn't believe me when i told them i had never been sexually active so much that they actually ordered a pregnancy test without telling me. which is also annoying bc my symptoms wouldve made no sense with pregnancy so they pretty much just did it because they didnt believe me.

and 2:

I was in horrible pain from a cyst and needed to get bloodwork done. but the person doing my blood work was so aggressive and bad at it that they had to try my left arm, right arm, and then my left hand and they burst the vein in all three locations. i've never had that happen before normally my blood draws are routine and painless. they also botched my hand blood draw so badly that my whole hand is bruised and swollen and ngl?? the pain is comparable to the cyst. like that nurse FUCKED me up. i wont go into detail about some of the specifics about what she did that was so painful during the draw bc it makes my skin crawl just thinking about how she handled the needle inside the vein but it was BAD bad.

hell of a day. im happy they found something and all but between being undiagnosed as asexual and having a nurse just absolutely fuck up my whole scene during a blood draw im just like. girl.

[librarycards]

Hi! just want to preemptively say sorry for dumping such a big personal question on you (and also for how rambly this is), its just that everyone i try to talk about this with in real life doesnt seem to have the perspective id find useful on this. and also sorry but if its not too much hassle could you answer this without publishing the ask?

Do you work for a university by any chance? Because I recently received a job offer for a job with a university. In the haze of desperation to leave my current/now old job i accepted & went through the majority of the onboarding process. but now that ive calmed down a little, im realising im really struggling with how to reconcile my politics & ideologies & especially my understanding of the importance of divesting personally as much as possible from systems of oppression with like. the act of working for a university (and in specific one of the old universities in the uk, which are all so deeply steeped in the structures of colonialism & which are actively in partnership with companies integral to the genocide in palestine, among other things).

the job itself is basically my dream job (helping run the undergrad teaching science labs). but i cant see a way to go through with taking the job without some kind of compromise on my part of politics/moral lines. if you do work in a university, how do you do it? how do you reconcile and balance the understanding of what these institutions are and how they function in the large scale vs the act of deliberately existing within them & even benefiting or enjoying it as it pertains to your personal life, as someone opposed to colonialism/imperialism/etc?

(oh i shouldve mentioned earlier but of course if you dont want to answer this feel free to ignore or delete it! i dont want you to feel pressured or anything. thank you !)

so, i definitely relate to a great deal of this, as i am teaching and finishing my phd at an R-1 institution in the u.s. - i.e., the most supposedly 'elite' genre of university with the highest research output, done, of course, directly on the backs both of exploited research subjects and overworked, underpaid precarious knowledge workers (myself included). it's strange to be in this position, with a job in one of the few places i feel like i can do material good, and yet also knowing that it is a site of immense material harm.

no choice you make is going to be morally pure, and i think perhaps the bigger hurdle is not the question of whether you should take the job or not (i think you should, personally) but how you'll keep yourself generatively uncomfortable throughout your time there. that is to say that we should not be chill with being faculty -- enforcers, even on a small scale, of university policy -- when university policy facilitates genocide. equally, we need to be clear-eyed about the fact that there are students at our universities who need intellectual support and guidance, and that our abstaining from providing it does not make things better. in fact, a mass-quitting of faculty like ourselves would simply usher in the employment of more militaristic, zionist, reactionary faculty, for whom university-sponsored genocide is values-aligned.

we can both acknowledge that we are in a trap and make use of the opportunities it affords us - bringing lectures to encampments, giving students accommodations regardless of diagnosis, introducing conceptual frameworks to marginalized students that were quite literally not imaginable beforehand.

so, tldr, i think that my (and your) job is to teach, and i think we should do our jobs. i think that a lot of the teaching you do will be outside the formal purview of the lab, and i think you should take every opportunity to get students aware and active about the role of the university/scientific institutions in genocide. get organized with faculty and staff in and beyond the lab, too! share resources to which others lack access! from a position of being what Moten & Harney call "in, but not of, the university," we can do a lot. i know i'm trying to be a helping hand to students of all stripes committed to a better world, and teaching is a huge part of that. best of luck.

[monpalace]

Okok, so my brain is not working with writing rn BUT i will finish that “reader and time pinning” thing that i was doing I PROMISE

BUT for now imma just share some thoughts of Time because he is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I NEED TO RANT ABOUT HIM

*ahem*

Ive said before (on my blog) that Time uses really old and kinda cringey petnames because 1, he genuinely loves them and 2, because he LOVES making the boys squirm in second hand embarrassment. SO, have a few more of those nicknames :D -> snookums, sugarplum, baby cakes, muffin, foxy, and toots

Young time (like teenage/young adult) was an absolute bastard BUT when he falls in love with someone, he is an absolute sweet heart! Think the ‘i hate everyone but you’ trope :3

Young! Time did not know romance AT ALL! That boy was raised by a tree and a bunch if spirit kids, he has know idea what a ‘date’ is. This leads to him just acting the same around his crush but being a little nicer to them

Is then very confused as to why they dont know that he likes them. “It was so obvious? I gave you a piece of my apple pie! I was so clear with my signs 🙄🙄”

He THEN reads all the romance novels he can get his hands on (legally and illegally) just so he can impress them! Completely misunderstood everything and now he just has to straight up tell them, cause how their hair is on fire…somehow

(Modern) Time is totally the type of guy that ‘doesn’t like drama shows’ but if his lover was watching one, he’d stand behind the couch and watch. But when his lover offers to move so he can sit hes like ‘no, im not even watching it. I was just bored’ and the proceeds to watch the next 3 episodes while standing.

(Modern) Time has a leather jacket that he LOVES!! Like he will cut someone for that thing, do not fuck with it. No one is aloud to wear it expect him….And his crush/lover but SHUSH!

Time enjoys polishing his armour/sword while you read a book out aloud. You both find it rather relaxing. Until something dramatic/a polt twists happens, all if the sudden the armour/sword is dropped to the side as Time is BAFFLED by this. “They killed Aaron?! Wh-what? Why!? He was the best choice for Max!” (Hes so invested, his duties are now discarded until you two finish this chapter)

I wanna do more but this is kinda chunky :3

I love dis man so much 🫶🫶

THE WAY I PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY CRINGED AT FOXY??? bro's the type to say "hey foxy mama" when you walk into a room unironically, he literally has no shame whatsoever whenever someone points out how dated that sounds to

time would fit the secret admirer trope so well though? but he wouldn't even be secret about it?? the lon lon sisters def gave him the advice to "just be himself" and that gave him the idea to take stuff from his woodland-spirit background

"link, why is my house filled with flowers from floor to ceiling."

"that's not a declaration of adoration here? huh."

AND HIM TAKING THE ROMANCE BOOKS? personally, i feel like he's the type to sneak into the library when (supposedly) nobodies looking and just taking whatever he can carry before sneaking back out-- but in actuality it's just that nobody cares

someone asked zelda if he was allowed to take the books because they've been coming back in a damaged state (it's not bad, but while he's workshopping how he's gonna bring words to reality, he messes up a little) and she just says its fine so long as he isn't committing crimes with them (which he has done. several times. no one knows)

ofc there are questions as to WHY he's taking the romance books specifically, but the guards and librarians just chalk it up to him entering his weird boy phase ™️ and not because he has an interest in somebody because him?? having a love interest before half the other people in the castle??? Nah.

you catch modern! time watching a (raunchy) reality show once (like love island, or jersey shore-- maybe even teen mom) and he swears up, down, to the golden three, and to the sand goddess that he just kept it on for noise and that he's paying all his attention to his work even though you caught him ON VIDEO having the most expressive reactions to certain moments

BUT THE LEATHER JACKET ONE?? someone walks up to you while you're wearing it (your relationship with time isn't common knowledge yet) and they make a joke about him burying them alive if they mess it up-- no less just because you're wearing it.

time pops up out of literal thin air making excuses that you were cold (you were not), he was hot and didn't feel like carrying it (his goosebumps say otherwise), he thought there was a tear and he wanted to try and fix it (.. yeah, okay.), he only gave it to you because you said it would go with your outfit (that is not the only reason he'd give it to you), and everything else just to try to hide the fact that he's soft

(also, bonus points if you made it??? now not even the goddesses could touch it. he's about three seconds away from giving into the inner ferality of his childhood self and biting someone if they even look at it)

but tell me why i just imagine time getting ready to like, get in a fight or something, you read something so earth-shatteringly shocking in the book, and he's immediately like "the battle can wait. [opponent] was gonna lose anyways. we have to figure out what the devil is about to happen"

i'm literally scooping ur brain from ur skull, putting it on a table, and i'm gonna examine it for the rest of ur ideas mwah

[idyllic-affections]

yayyy, so how do you think nilou would take care of a little sibling reader? im the eldest of two so i kinda wanna know what’s like to be youngest- plus i love nilou smm, platonically ofc.

she gets a lot of flack and hate and for what? a ship? 😭 shes literally the sweetest character to ever exist in this fandom </3

nilou as a big sister.

summary. what would nilou be like as a big sister?

trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. nilou & younger sibling!reader. 0.4k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. FR i dont understand nilou hate?!?!?!? shes so earnestly sweet. i can't understand why people would hate her when she's done nothing wrong!!! as the youngest of two i will do my best to provide you the Younger Sibling Experience 💪

nilou is a very kind and easygoing older sister. she's the kind of person that encourages them to work hard, but is also equally encouraging when it comes to them needing a break.

i feel like she would always validate her sibling's emotions. oh? they're upset but really aren't sure why? well, that's okay. even she feels like that sometimes. maybe that just means it's time to rest.

she would love to take a lil nap with her sibling underneath the sun.

she's 100% the therapist sister.

she'll always find the time to listen to her sibling vent their frustrations. she may offer solutions if that's what they want, or if they just need someone to listen, she'll nod along as they talk, wordlessly letting them know that she is payint attention.

she also has all the patience needed to teach her baby sibling methods to manage their emotions.

speaking of emotions, nilou always encourages her sibling to express them! she never wants them to suppress or bottle up their feelings. it isn't healthy. she doesn't want that for them.

she's the shoulder to cry on.

if they ever just need to cry it out, she'll be there, tenderly guiding their head to lay on her shoulder or in her lap.

i feel like nilou and her sibling would make super cute friendship bracelets for one another!

i think she would want to travel teyvat with her sibling one day. she wants to see the world and she also wants her sibling to have those enriching experiences, those experiences which expose them to other cultures and ways of life.

i also like to think that she would love doing her sibling's hair! she would find it to be both very relaxing and a nice way to bond with them. <3

^ she's so careful and gentle when she does it, too. she never tugs too hard or does anything to make their scalp sore, and if it ends up being sore regardless? she'll gingerly massage the tension out.

definitely would be the kind of sister to sneak her sibling extra sweets even if a parental figure said no LMAO

she would be overjoyed if her sibling shared her interest in dancing!

like, she would take them under her wing and teach them everything she knows about dance. she would be so excited.

imagine nilou's sibling trying to mimic her dances when they think she isn't watching but she really is from behind a corner ahdjhekehgjg....

it would warm her heart tbh. she would be so overwhelmed with joy and love for her sibling that she might cry.

nilou is generally a very good sister.

she's kind, empathetic, and always has her sibling's best interests in mind.

her sibling definitely couldn't ask for better.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[altarfates]

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐓𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒?  —  while i consider myself open to a lot of different ships considering my muse list currently my brain is engrossed with the current : dabihawks, shigadabi and satosugu with a tiny bit of shinkami there also. 

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐏 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆? — I am always down to explore the depths of intricate relationships, not all of them have to be inherently healthy or bring good things to the table. This being said there’s going to be none of that nasty shit ( condemnatory ) written here, you know what i mean. There will be nasty shit  ( positive ) explored between ships written on my blog. I’m down to write angst, smut, a little bit of domesticity or fluff here and there. Really I encourage my ship partners to explore beyond the surface level depths of ships to see what really makes them drawn to each other, how they compliment or do not compliment each other it’s just a good time.

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐏 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐘? —  I feel like it goes without saying but there’s no adult / minor ships here, others i’m generally pretty open to depending on the situation / ship as i’ve written characters previously that are immortal in love with mortals so it feels absurd to say eight years when there’s like eight hundred between them. 

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆? — this is a yes and a no sort of situation, if i click with the other writer and we’re having a good time i’m usually down to ship. I tend to be a little !!! about my ships so if you do end up shipping with me there may be playlists, pinboards, general chatter so i like to give a heads up about that.

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐅𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘'𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖? — honestly, if i’m writing tongue in mouth that’s generally kinda suggestive ?? but it’s more like once they start getting hands on it delves into the yeah im gonna tag this and then any actual smut scenes are nsfw.

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇? —  i have plenty of ships im currently like interested in exploring, i’ll make a quick lil list based on like my braincells rn which are limited. dabihawks and shigadabi have infected my brain rn, i got my shinkami and kamijirou which i really enjoy. satosugu my beloved and sugushoko which has recently became at the forefront of my brain. Caejose is my jjba all time favourite ship i love those two with my whole heart and maybe ?? sampard im a bit on the fence about it rn but it does hold a special place with me. 

𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔? — yes !! you can literally just be like hello ven i am offering u a ship and i will most likely be like YIPEEE CAT GIF !!!! 

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏? — i love shipping, it doesn’t always have to be romantic but i enjoy exploring dynamics through my writing so i ship all the time im shipping right now and you wouldn’t even know it. 

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏? — yes ! unless i am asked by a close friend or someone ive plotted with extensively i will always be multiship. I tend to not want to ship hoard and usually go for like maybe a max of three or four of the same ships because while i do know each rendition comes with its own flavour it’s like i dont wanna have too many ships and only two hands. 

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 - 𝐎𝐑 - 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒? — i may be a tiny bit ship obsessed. I have my playlists, my pinboards, the 10000 tiktoks ive seen of them or art i have saved. oop. 

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌? —  dabihawks and satosugu. 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔? — jump in my dms and express interest, interact a few times through asks and go hey i like the energy would you maybe be interested in writing a ship ?? i do have the autism brain of all times so unless you outright say hello ven i wish to ship i’m not going to be clued in LMAO.

tagged by :  @minban <3

tagging :  @chipen, @gokunoban and @reallyrandomtj !

[hopeheartfilia]

Update on what i screenshoted from School Bus Graveyard

Also I found out that the reason it seemed so familiar when i started seeing it around was because my friend literally recommended it to me a few months back..

anyway

Ashlyn and Aiden being adorable hours. there is so much of them being cute, and Im always just. glad they can get what little comfort they may from getting closer because those kids sure need it

Another one, it is jsut. so soft. so important to me. Yes offer each other support and closeness in theese hard times, humans are mode for community

I dont think ive mentioned this but its so important to me how all the kids are caretakers of the group in their own ways, like they all care SO much and they show it in different ways but its undeniable.

Ashlyn cares in the way she tries to keep everyone alive and takes on responsibility and also in the way she is on the lookout for danger and generally tries to make plans and get them out of trouble

Taylor takes care of them in a more emotional core capacity, as in she has communiction skills that a majaority of them are indeed lacking in, she says things that need to be said and she helps keep them all together

Tyler on the other hand tends to care for people more in a way fo things he can Do, like doing laundry and feeding when they lived with their mom, practical things, and in the group its very much taking point, hitting things, going over and scaring of that guy that was bullying logan

Ben takes care of them in a medical way, he ptches them up physically and he worries about them and offers his silent support, and like he is still such a teen about it, they all are, but just. When they met up in the facility and tyler was like how about some words of encouragement? tell me its going to be okay and shit, and Ben just wnet and touched him while doing thumbs up, that was so sweet and so teen behaviour i love them all. And of course he is also protective in the way that he gets angry on logans behalf and would also hit someone physically as well

And the way Aiden cares for their little group might be filled with jokes, and a lot of adrenaline and overall danger seeking behaviour, but he still tries so hard, like yes he bothers people on purpose but he also livens a lot of situations, and when they need him he is there and delivers, he tries to ground ben, and ashlyn as well, he is the sort of prescence that you know will stay by your side

And Logan probably shows the most outwards signs of being scared but he still does so much and he clearly cares about the group back. He protects their back and worries about them and when push comes to shove he is there and pulling more then his weight, he helps so much with figuiring out the way the shadow realm works (thats what im calling it. it seems correct to me) and when he got that card? Like he doesnt seem to be very used to having actual close friends, which is true for most of them, but he does care about people and he does try to help others

Idk i just love all theese kids

also, this one hit different, i was so worried about tyler, im glad he is alright-ish for now

Also i know its easy to see how Ashlyn is a lot like her mom, especially in the beginning chapthers but i think its cool to see how much she is like her dad as well

I know there are a lot of other things to be said, and that i probably need a little more time to properly think about stuff and analyze before i can make any actual analysis but for now Ill probably put it a bit on the backburner

On the topic of theories and stuff thou, the phantoms to me have very much seemed connected to shadows in some way, as the changes in the real world affect their shadows, but people who dont see it dont seem to see the changes aeither, as we sall with ashlyns parents, and the things they said abour rifts - it overall definelty has a different, potentionally mirror dimention feeling. Also, If the phanthoms are caugh people, then the giant sentepede thing is likely a turned animal maybe? It seems likely to me that the forest would have less humanoid beings because it is less populated

Also im really curious about Logans grandparents and hoe they got that sedative. Also i have the bad feeling that their parents will get hit with the comatose version of being taken into the rift.

Also im curious about the power surges our guys cause. They seem to be emotion based, but I dont see why the other victims wouldnt cause them? Maybe they didnt stay together? or maybe they didnt live long enough? likely both but im not sure its tge reason. Also if it IS connnected to their emotional/psychological state then does that have anything to do with why aiden recovered faster? Personally i think it also has to do with the type of injury, but like do you heal faster in the shadow realm if you have depression? Or does it have something to do with your own self perception of youe wounds?

[aerithistired]

Why Aeon is resident evils weakest ship (It's NOT cuz they're toxic for eachother DUN DUN DUN)

HII this was copy pasted from a reply to another discussion, but I'm posting it cuz I want to post my opinions <3I never understood why the fandom is so crazy over aeon when they have the most weakest writing in a ship I've ever seen but to each their own I guess.I'd love to hear your thoughts and expand on my argument more!

I dont ship anyone with Leon in general which is INCLUDING Ada. For me it doesn't have anything to do with the facts of the story, because its all perfectly sensible on paper ( also because it is clear they're the endgame couple and are each other's love interests), but mostly with the way the couple was written- and *especially* Ada.

I'm not too familiar with the old RE games but from what ive heard and seen- Ada was supposed to be a black cat/cat woman/ femme fatale character and have a Batman- catwoman relationship with Leon. Personally, im not a huge fan of the dynamic, but other wise i can still see it as a solid dynamic for a ship.

On the other hand, i feel like the remakes and especially the RE2R doesnt know what they want their relationship to exactly be because from what i have noticed, they've significantly reduced the Catwoman- batman dynamic from the og games (Lily Gao, the RE4R VA herself said she wanted to tone down the seducctive femme fatale persona In ada in response to backlash).

I feel like re2r tried to make their relationship feel like an angsty and serious slow burn but considering their limited screen time and development together, didn't execute well.

In the beginning of the game (RE2R) Ada is quite serious about her work and partnership with Leon and is very strict about not getting close with him- on her part that is(i believe leon leaned more towards trying to get to know her).

Chemistry wise, i dont see much happening between them up until the part Leon takes a bullet for her and she treats him and when he does the same for her afterwards. I really liked the "dont push it rookie" line she gives him after he offers to carry her(?), It was more warm in comparison to their relationship before, and i wish they delved Into that with more scenes like that before the kiss (basically build up their relationship with emphasis on ada).

Also i feel its important to note that the scenewhen Leon takes a bullet for Ada had SUCH GOOD POTENTIAL to open into her character and how she felt about Leon at that moment because its a clear turning point in their relationship but AGAIN we get nothing and Leon is literally asleep.

!!And please don't start the 'hidden subtle details of the scene' argument with me cuz those scenes cuz despite the small details, is still not enough to establish a good relationship development growth- and especially since we barely get any monologue from Ada's side on how she feels about leon.!!

If there were clear cut scenes of them developing in trust and proper teamwork AND OPENING UP OF CHARACTER DEPTHS (and getting past the one sided attempt at friendliness from Leon) EARLIER ON IN THE GAME this wouldve made the betrayal much more heartbreaking too.

I think those segments would've been an excellent START for DEVELOPING their relationship and getting closer as a team.

☆Most well written and beloved ships have enough screen time with them showing development of their relationship- esp in slow burns. This applies to video games as well.☆

However, the pair mmediately kiss (AFTER LIKE ONE SCENE OF THEM SLIGHTLY DEVELOPING), And that was when the ship lost me. It WAS too sudden from a writing point of view and had so very little build up about their trust and caring for each other.

I'm not saying you can't fall for someone in a short time, but the issue rather was how there was LITTLE chemistry portrayed with them UP TO that moment. YOU SHOULD GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTHY TO SHIP THEM, CAPCOM.

More scenes like the one i mentioned before (with more emphasis on Ada opening up, The hints of her teasing him, etc) would've been great.

i understand that the game is not a romance but if you are trying to pull a slow burn-esque type ship off, you should commit to it, either that, or make it a fast one with chemistry right off the bat (like flirting and banter) cuz THIS was just very messy.

And that was ALL we got of their relationship for the first game. CAPCOM could've made great use of them in the other RE games (re4r and re6) but the couple ended up on more of the yearning and longing for side than actually developing together on screen, which sucks. (which is also like kind of annoying cuz we didnt see much of how they felt for the other throughout the game UNTIL THE NEAR END OF THEIR FIRST GAME- Which also had very little on screen moments of development. SO THEY HAVE A LIFE LASTING IMPACT ON EACH OTHER?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!)

LIKE I GET THE POTENTIAL ON PAPER BUT IT WAS NOT IT IM SORRY.

And for the argument that Ada is *supposed* to be the mysterious character- i get that its a part of her appeal- but i find myself craving for her story to be shown in game than searching for crumbles of it from other RE material.

A well written character needs depth. And Ada HAS depth, its just shown subtle to an UNNECESSARY extent in the case that capcom tried to 'show and not tell' but it just doesn't execute well in terms of writing a romance where both characters need to grow and develop for a potential relationship or a ship.

(LOVED SEPERATE WAYS BY THE WAY). I ALSO DONT LIKE SHES IN EVERY GAME LEON IS- which just mostly reinforces she is his lover than a very vital part of the RE universe in GENERAL (which is why im so sad she wasnt in village) I really wish they put more focus on HER story.

And as for Cleon and other leon x ships- I don't know about them, since they barely interact throughout the RE universe. but i feel like if they did work together, potential for great chemistry could've been built for the pairing too. Shrugs

Again, i think Aeon had great potential but it went down the drain because of inconsistent characterization of her within the fandom, the game itself and the way it was written.

Everything Is there on paper. 'But she bandaged his arm. She helped him so many times when she didn't need to. She loves him and he loves her.'

OKAY, I'm READING what I'm supposed to feel about the ship, but it's not hitting. Why? Cuz it's badly written.

Im a bit annoyed when people try to argue that this ship is good in terms of writing cuz its NOT!!!! I dont really care if people ship them cuz they're attractive and the appeal is there *sort of*.

But if you're trying to argue on a story and writing basis, it's one of the worst ships I've seen in ANY media forms lol, you can't make a case for this ship and win im sorryヽ( `皿´ )ﾉ

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I'm terrified of writing my opinions on ships on here so I'd like to emphasize this is just a silly fictional game and I've been meaning to write my opinions on it for a while. all in good fun! sorry for potential bad grammar english isnt my first language :DD

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Sokka HC’s (trauma edition)

just some stuff that I think is true abt Sokka idk

I haven’t watched ATLA in literal years so please correct me if some of my info is wrong

Some of these are probably obvious but I just wanted to give my take on them lol

Ever since the night of the fire nation raid, he’s terrified of fire and even more scared of the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash. Because although fire is what took his mother and a lot of the tribe members away, the smell of bodies burning and the sight of ash reminds him of the sight he saw that night, and how he was useless to do anything about it, that now burns forever in his memory. Because while Katara is traumatized at seeing the death of Kya, Sokka is traumatized of seeing his tribe members killed and burned in front of him. He’s the kind of guy to break down after the fact of whatever just happened, so he can still fight fire nation soldiers and everything. But the minute he gets off of the battlefield and the adrenaline wears off and hes alone? He makes some excuse about “needing to plan where they’re going next in the peace and quiet because fucking toph and aang make it hard to focus with their earthbending lessons” he breaks down, sobs racking his body and an inevitable panic attack coming as he relives the worst night of his life over and over again for hours, acrid smoke and burning flesh all he’s able to smell, screams of pain and heartbreak all he’s able to hear. (when Zuko comes along it gets a little bit better because he can remind himself the Zuko is a fire bender and hes safe and warm and would never do anything to hurt me. So he just kind of melts into his best friend’s boyfriends arms and it becomes a routine for them. More on that on the zukka post i will get to writing..eventually)

He has abandonment issues because of how unexpectedly Kya died and left him to take care of Katara while she was grieving, and then Hakoda left him to take care of the entire tribe by himself. This is probably why in that one episode (i dont remember which one and im too lazy to find it) Sokka was so adamant about refusing to let Katara go and try to save Haru and his dad, because he was scared that she wouldn’t leave until she got everyone off of the ship, eventually get captured, and spend the rest of her days there, leaving him behind.

(This ones cannon I think but here’s my take on it) He has self-worth issues because of his constant expectations that have been set on him, by himself and by other people. A lot of people reading this are gonna be like well yea he had to take care of the entire tribe by himself! Which, true! Not exactly the best move Hakoda, but what’re you gonna do i guess. But i think his self-worth issues stem more from his need to be the perfect “chief”. What i mean by that is that if he’s doesn’t catch enough fish for the tribe (even if they probably have enough to survive because always working too hard) he hates himself because he isn’t doing enough and they look so skinny and its all my fault because i just can’t catch enough fish. And if the people are cold, or if they’re sick, they expect him to take care of them, but they dont see that he’s a 16 (or younger, he was acting as chief for a couple years before Aang came along i think) year old boy trying to do everything himself with no help. Every day he hears the same thing: “Sokka, we don’t have enough ______! Can you please get more?” So he never ever thinks he’s good enough no matter what he does because there’s just never enough. even if he catches 100 fish for the whole village to eat, he’ll still beat himself up about it because sure they were able to eat today, but they’re not eating enough and he still needs to get more furs for everyone because the winter is only getting colder and they’re getting sicker and they’re all going to die because he’s so useless and can’t do anything right

because of him having to do everything himself, he absolutely hates being offered help. He refuses it practically every single time, because he’s so used to people younger than him counting on him to do something, and if they’re counting on him that means that he cannot fail, and asking for help (to him) is one way of failing. If he asks for help that means he couldn’t do the one thing Hakoda asked him too. It’s super simple Sokka, just take care of the village of like 15 people. And he can’t even do that.

He’s an absolute control freak and micromanages everything, and Katara (the hypocrite, smh) hates it. He needs to be in control of everything because that means that nothing can go wrong unless he makes a mistake. (Which he knows he will make a mistake but at least its his fault and he can find a way to fix it) If he relies on other people that means they’ll make mistakes which means something that needed to get done won’t and he’ll fuck up again and he’ll be worthless, because planning and fixing and engineering and fighting is all he has, all he thinks hes good for. He would rather be solely blamed for not being good enough and screwing up than letting someone like Zuko or Katara or Aang be told that. He was never in control of the war or his mother’s death of Hakoda leaving or anything, so he find some kind of solace or coping mechanism in being able to at least control the village and having some semblance of control (idk how else to explain this! Im so sorry!)

Also because he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it right lol. He’s been taking care of the whole village for such a long time that there’s a very specific way you supposed to do this Katara! It took him such a long time to finally get a rhythm going, get used to how to take care of 15+ people at a time, so any little change to his routine pisses him off and makes him panic because he’s lost the control of the situation and now he’s in an unknown territory where he doesn’t know how to do anything which makes him a liability.

(I’ll probably continue to update this post because im probably not done, and/or make a pt 2 if y’all wanna see that. Won’t be restricted to just trauma next time!)

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[fappellmoan]

not to sit here and weave a story out of nothing like a little protagonist via my quirky online storytelling but i rekindled my friendship with sam who is such an interesting person there are just a lot of stories of all sorts and this is funny timing but truly we just fell into such an easy banter this past class so we were like omg lets hang right so. his roommate really is just like stupid hot right. i could get corny with it but i wont. a face sculpted by the hands of god though. all this prefaced i will now tell u an absolutely nothing story and i really mean that read at your own discretion ((A/N: trust and believe i yapped. putting under keep reading to be somewhat forgivable) (i am not in my best of states rn. okay.)

anyway so we're chillin in sams room im getting caught up on the latest construction projects and shit.. one thing abt sam hes always up to something. they've got an entire work desk #butchrealness. then i hear some singing out in the hallway but from where im sitting cant actually see anyone so convo just goes sam and roommate 'hey' 'hey' and then i peeked my little head out and waved and said hey and they stopped and set down their basket and said 'Hey' and then i did not introduce myself (flop) (combo of cramped room and sam talking and me being wildly awkward) (also keep in mind i dont know if this person has swiped left on me or not been on tinder or if theyd even recognize me anyway and hating that that's even a situation bc i hate that stupid app but just hoping worst case scenario i dont come off as an insane stalker but rather a victim of circumstance) but they just chatted for a sec abt whatever shelf sam needs to fix and that was that. and then they went back to humming which was cute or whatever

to set the next scene we're down in the kitchen and sams cooking and this is a while after we took his homemade gummies so im not rlly high per se but chillin and something about the noise and setup in their kitchen is so overstimulating for me lol when shes cooking im just like frozen. i always offer to help but he always just gets in a groove it's best i dont intervene. one time he had to tell me to go sit down in the other room bc i was freakin out a little lol

so im perched on this single high chair they have in the kitchen right next to their washer and dryer as sams whipping up some food and im kind of obnoxiously saying Unfortch in response to a story he was telling me and he gives me a look so im like UnfortunateLy. and then hes like 'psh i know unfortch i live with this guy' cue roommate strollin in with laundry and theyre just like Whaat and sam explains and theyre like Oh ofc you gotta know unfortch or whatever. forgot to mention that earlier in sams room they said three similar abbreviated words in a row just during a normal sentence and it caught me so off guard i wanted to giggle. so naturally my brain is going through Immediate social response of a semi awk laugh or quippy remark about that but also theyre literally like a foot away from me and im largely nonverbal atm lmfaoo so i just mumble smth to try and go along w the bit but then trailed off cause i was like wtf am i even saying. brain was overloaded

and then i was like um. i literally was just staring around doing fuck all like a perched bird or something but i was fighting a war in my mind of like ok do i introduce myself or look to sam to do so or do we not do that or is that rude idk but also they have headphones on one ear and are doing all their laundry shit and i once again dont want to be like overbearing but also well come on now we gotta feel out the vibe (and i do a great job here.) idk so im like Ok dont just look at them but dont Not look at them just behave like a normal person. you know. the usual. sam comes over to give me a bit of bread with balsamic vinegar and oil and i spilled it on my sweater fuck this stupid baka life (didnt really show. but still they were right there..)

and so after a min of this they were kinda like awkward laugh 'dont mind me' and i once again was very self conscious and had several things that wanted to come out 'not at all' 'dont mind me' 'it's your house' 'these all sound awful abby' then i got anxious that i was in the way the whole time but they were almost done and if i got into a weird apology thing well i would have had to kill myself so i just once again kind of uttered something that would have sounded like 'youresogoodicanmovetoo' and also 'sorry if i just keep like looking over at you' WTF IS THAT SHIT. FUMBLE BOOOOO and my follow up was essentially nothing cause i couldnt decide if i should say 'im just a bit out of it/high' 'im easily distracted (kys)' 'idk what to do w myself haha' 'im useless in the kitchen' (not entirely true) i mean just a few minutes before sam and i had talked about how ill just wander around peoples rooms and observe things to avoid feeling awkward and it's just how i am and so i was kinda just doing that due to the nerves of the sitch but there was only so much to look at. and i just sat there. offputting realness. whatever. so. straight face emoji. and that was mostly the extent of that i dont remember what they said in response just like a lil laugh or w/e. probably couldnt hear my stupid ass mumbling. so im thinking my chances of charming them at all are really stellar

if you read all this i want you to just take note that the events depicted here could not have been more than 3-4 minutes collectively. and yet the yap goes on..

for future reference, what did we learn? probably best to just continue convo with sam, excuse urself to br, or perhaps even attempt a conversation w them if ever in a similar situation again and they talk to you first again. also stop inventing complicated situations in ur head chill the hell out. idiot. says the bitch with the anxiety disorder. feel free to egg me on or tell me to fuck off ok xoxoxoxxo love u