#which i MIGHT give you this weekend
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One week
Bokuto x fem reader
Warnings: NSFW
Words: ~ 1,7 k
About: Just Bokuto missing you so, so much. And kinda cumming too fast.
It's been a week.
Only one short week of you being apart.
You remember how you held Bokuto's face in your hands and told him that you'll miss him—and how he adorably pouted and told you that he'd miss you more and win this game for you and make you proud.
You had smiled and told him that you're always proud of him, and he had simply wrapped his arms tightly around you and kissed you goodbye.
It's been a week since that moment, and now you've been anxiously waiting for him to come back.
He did win the game. For you, baby, as he had proudly reassured you on the phone, telling you that he'll make sure to take the next flight to visit you—and you know he will come home any second.
A rustling noise of keys makes your ears perk up, and after a few moments that seem like forever, you finally see him.
Koutarou.
"Y/n!" His energetic voice echoes through your whole apartment, and you barely manage to get up before he already makes his way towards you and wraps his big arms around you.
"Baby, I missed you so much. So, so much." He emphasizes every word by pressing kisses against your cheeks, your lips—everywhere he could reach, his full lips feeling soft against your skin, just like you're used to remembering his touch.
"I've missed you too, Kou." You smile and press yourself closer to him, not leaving any distance between your bodies now. He instantly responds with his hands coming from your back to your hips, holding your body in a firm grip. You look up at him, noticing how intently he's suddenly looking at you. You squirm in his hold, a sudden feeling of want and need rushing through your body—oh, how you've missed his touch too during the past week. He seems to feel the same, his hands roaming around your body, wandering up on your shoulders, and resting on your ass cheeks finally, gently squeezing the soft flesh.
"Baby, can we... can we go to the bedroom, maybe?"
Your heart stops for a second, your body already tingling with slowly building anticipation. As much as you want to talk to him, you also want to be close to him- and, oh, how much you crave his touch now.
"Please." You tilt your face upwards and press your lips against his—in a deep and intense kiss, hoping to feel the same hunger from him, and he is quick to push his tongue into your mouth, turning the kiss into a messy tangle of tongues, lips molding against each other, and bodies pressing hardly against each other. His hands move from your ass to your thighs, and it only takes him one firm movement to grab them and wrap them around his waist. You grab his shoulders and bury your hand in his hair, enjoying the feeling of his soft fluffy hair, slightly pulling on the strands because you know the effect this has on him. He groans into the kiss, blindly stumbling in the direction of the bedroom, not paying too much focus on anything else besides you. You mentally bless his reflexes and strength for saving you both from falling when he stumbles against his bag that he had left on the ground, and he slightly pulls back to focus on the way, walking into your shared bedroom with a few hasty steps.
His grip on your thighs tightens when you rake your nails against his chest, feeling his muscles under the black shirt, your breathing pattern irregular when he finally reaches the bed and stops. An excited grin is displayed on his face when he turns to sit on the bed, the motion effectively placing you right on his lap. His hands leave their place on your thighs and wander under your shirt, feeling the warm skin of your stomach, grazing against your ribs, causing a whine to leave your lips while you involuntarily try to close your legs—a futile attempt when his thighs both rest between yours.
"Baby, I missed your body, missed touching you like this." He breathes out when he roams his hands against your bare skin, feeling you everywhere within his reach. "Kou, please touch me." You know that you sound whiny, that he is already touching you, but you just need more of him—you want to feel him everywhere.
"I am, I am, already touching you. What do you need, baby? I'll give it to you." One hand comes up from under your shirt and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. His eyes are full of love and affection, a dark need lingering behind these pure emotions. That's the Koutarou you've been missing for so long—
"Want to feel you. Want everything." You mumble, knowing that he will take care of you so good—he always does. And he immediately nods and leans back to pull his shirt over his head, effectively leaving his upper body bare—and god, the smooth sun-kissed skin covering his muscular body makes your cheeks burn and flush. You push against his shoulders, and he gets the hint and rests his back on the bed, waiting for you to join him. And you're quick to lean down, still sitting straight on his crotch that you feel hardening with every shift of your body, and you start to kiss down on his neck, making your way down to his collarbones and chest. "Baby—" his voice has turned darker, more needy, and he throws his head back into the pillow when you lick and bite the skin on your way to his prominent v-line and to his dark happy trail right above his boxers.
"Baby—" a loud whimper leaves his lips, and he suddenly bucks his hips almost to your face. You lift your head and look up at him, his chest heaving heavily, and he suddenly sits up and leans down to kiss you intensely.
"Wanna feel you, baby. Please let me." He gently grabs your arms, and now it's your turn to lay on your back, and he gently pulls your shirt up to expose your chest. Your hands fist the sheets underneath as he pushes your bra to the side, and his head instantly leans down to kiss the valley between your tits. "Kou—" a gasp leaves you at his eagerness when he leaves messy, wet kisses against your body, but his hands already fumble with your pants. Bokuto helps you shed yourself out of your pants, and your panties are quick to follow.
You barely register how he undresses himself; in the next second, he's already hovering over you again and gasping your name against your neck.
"Y/n—missed you so much, baby," his voice right next to your ear makes you shiver in anticipation and you know he won't make you wait any longer. You arch further into him and push your hips against his, until you feel his bulge against your stomach. He grinds against you, the hardness of his cock pressing against you, and you slowly bring your hands down his back to bring your hand between your bodies to his cock, but he is quick to stop you when he realizes what you're about to do. "Can I—put it in already? Wanna feel your warmth, wanna be buried in your pussy." A shiver runs down his body, and you nod with a breathy whine when he lines up at your entrance.
So full. Only the head of his cock nudged between your legs, and you already feel full. He slowly inches deeper, the stretch delicious and welcome, especially since you haven't seen him for quite some time, and your body is overwhelmed with sensations and feelings. "Kou—"
"It's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm here." He keeps eye contact as he pushes deeper, but you can see him struggling as well, with his breath shallow and fast and his face blissed out.
He moans loudly for you when you clench around him, the sound unrestricted and loud in the room, and you tug on his silvery-white strands as a response. His moan changes to a whimper, a cute needy sound coming from this big, beefy man, and he finally allows his hips to move, to feel your warmth and wetness. You know you're already dripping for him, making his cock wet, and the lubrication makes him easily glide in and out of you. The first few thrusts start steady and slow, but the whimpering sounds won't stop coming from his lips, a few beads of sweat running down his forehead while he slowly ruts his hips against yours. "Baby—I'm sorry—" he gasps and presses his head against your neck. "Can't fuck you- like I want to—'s too much, missed you too much—" his hips suddenly stutter, and his body tenses on top of yours, and you feel him cumming, the warmth filling you up and making you feel so good while he cums and cums, throaty moans escaping his lips along an incoherent mixture of your name and prayers.
His body finally goes limp above yours, his massive weight caging you underneath, and you gently rake your nails against his back and caress the smooth skin under your fingers.
You stay like that for a few seconds, only your rapid breaths filling the room, until he tenses and sits up a bit to look at your face.
"Baby—I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cum so fast," another whimper leaves his lips when his softening cock slips from your pussy, and his cum starts leaking out from you. It's a lot. You felt him cumming before, and you know that he usually cums quite a lot- but the amount that's starting to leak from you now is insane.
"Kou—you came so much. All for me?" You ask and bring your hand to his cheek, only for him to lean into your touch. "All for you, baby. Haven't touched myself since I last saw you. Wanna give you everything, always."
He brings his lips down to yours and connects them in a deep kiss, his body slightly trembling from having just finished. He pulls back eventually with a look of sadness on his handsome face, and you know that he is disappointed in himself. "You didn't finish, baby. I want to make you feel good too." Your heart swells with affection at his words, and you smile at him with hearts in your eyes probably.
"It's fine. I'm feeling really good already."
"Y/n, baby." He smiles when he says your name and fully lifts his body, his prominent muscles on his chest and arms all showing when he leans back and looks down at you. "You know that I can give much more than that." He grins, the sweet playful grin that you love so much on him, and he leans down to kiss down on your body, his hands holding your waist and pressing you down to the sheets, and you know exactly what he's up to.
"Now, I'll make you feel really, really good, baby."
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smut#bokuto#bokuto smut#bokuto x reader#I headcanon that he eats you out like a starved man after this#and then you go for three other rounds#like seriously#he's got so much to give#he's such a pleaser#but he sometimes gets overwhelmed#poor bby :(#the way this took me so so long to write#so sorry#haven't written anything this month so far#I was quite busy with my internship#but I have like the whole weekend off#which is like the first time this year I think#I feel so good rn#might open a bottle of wine and enjoy the night
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I don't know why but I keep having this crazy urge to stream osomatsu-san drawing/working on ososan art that most half of it being hanichi on my part... But I also do have like refs I am working on and I am insane wanting to draw some of the ososan cast of characters but any stream would be on the weekend! Saturday at most and my time zone is Central Daylight Time (edit: I stream on twitch)
check tags for my insane thoughts of chaos!
#smore rambles#tag ramble#i've streamed before but my mic sucks AND YOU WILL HEAR EVERYTHING and I feel weird having mic off cause it would be silent unless music#i've done mic and play music on all past streams#like i use my drawing tablet to redo mistakes and you will hear the clicks i think? and also me drawing on said tablet#i have two wolves one: needs mic on so its not awkward two: mic on forces me to talk which also kills me cause I can't draw and read chat#wait would i get copyrighted if i played ososan music as background noise? Im gonna say yes....#i feel i might also overthink about drawing in front of people who i don't know? but I still do it and hope for the best cause im crazy#hanichi is my safe zone so I know what to draw but I also could just draw the neets and pratice expression or draw shitpost dumb shit?#i am now seeing im complaining about how my stream will go wrong LMAO#I'd probably do a stream on the weekend cause it gives people time to be able to see it and I'd be able to stream for hours without worry#but im just doing this to see cause im crazy guys I just need to know#a stream about drawing ososan WHAT COULD GO WRONG?????
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Hi jie jie! What were your favorite cdramas for 2023?
MDL tells me that it's:
meet yourself - modern cdrama - high ranking hotelier quits her job to find herself after a tragedy in her life. stars liu yifei & li xian. (also killer ost tbh, i still listen to 去有风的地方 A LOT)
some people found the show slow, but imo the vibes for this show were so good and so chill! the progression of the romantic arc in the show was v natural, and i liked how the romance was not the central theme of the show and that each of the supporting characters were v well fleshed out! i rewatched the confession scene a lot through the year when i needed serotonin.
and
love me love my voice - modern cdrama - mutual pining to lovers, but the pair are also both huge fans of each other's online works (music and voice dubbing respectively). stars tan jianci & zhou ye.
most of y'all were here while i was watching this as it aired so you probably all know how i feel about this show. i'll summarise it for y'all anyway: 😍💕😭💖🤩👏🏼🥰💋
if you are after a feel good modern cdrama, i honestly cannot recommend these two shows enough. huge serotonin boosters and guaranteed emotional payoff.
honourable mentions, which should also surprise nobody:
till the end of the moon (this was my highest ranked period cdrama - retrospectively, this is more because of how insane it made me feel while watching it, and less of a testament to how good the show was, BUT!! i really did enjoy this a lot)
destined
mysterious lotus casebook
romance on the farm
(where i've done rec posts, i've linked to my rec post, otherwise i've linked to the show's mdl page, but if y'all want to hear me yell about the shows separately, just lmk)
#i think 2023 was the year i wanted dramas with no Drama#and meet yourself and love me love my voice delivered so well on it#like in both instances there were no unnecessary Dramas surrounding the leads like once they were Committed that was it#and it's a really nice break from all the 恶毒女配 shows (which okay fair i also dig in certain cases)#does anyone remember what else was airing around the time destined did??? because i feel like i should've been more !!! about it#oh!!! i finished the love you give me over the weekend and that was p funny though i think it could've been a 20-24 ep show instead#some of the plots dragged a little towards the end but it was cute!!#i really really really REALLY wanted to start 狂飙 over the christmas closedown but never got into that mood :/ I STILL MIGHT!!!#asks#Anonymous#tv rec
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)
#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself#im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule#why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses#one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better#the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week#and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend#then go back to work do you understand my problem#anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ???#but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark!#any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg#just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait...#ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half!#i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg#where the therapists at omg#moon posts#long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3
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good morning!! <33
#woo breakfast as usual#then i might do another section of the hsr event bc that way I'll finish it up tuesday :3#also again would like to write (i've basically taken a break this weekend lol)#i literally feel like a broken record sometimes but oh well - i like doing the same things lol#anyways i also need to watch the raf + xav cards for misty invasions bc I'm basically giving up on pulling more 5*#i mean i got three cards this event so my luck worked out pretty good hehe#and i need to save some for zayne's birthday event which should be coming soon#anyways i hope today/tonight is good to you!!!! <333#morning rambles
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#my cousin is busy tonight. my parents just went out for the evening. I'm not going to the gym. and i have no friends who live very close#I want people!!!#i would not be able to live all by myself because I cannot stand being alone most of the time (especially in the evenings)#i would go watch the new planet of the apes movie but i hate the idea of going to movies by myself#and I'm saving it for next weekend#I'm too introverted to randomly text any friends and ask if they want to hang out#and I'm too extroverted to want to be by myself#the frienda i do have that i might be willing to text all live 45min+ away btw#another thing that seriously stinks about being one of the few people my age who goes to my church#the only other one who is my age and lives close is my cousin (see first sentence)#i guess I'll cook me some supper which will give me something nice and productive to do#and then maybe I'll play zelda or pikman? i haven't played my switch in a while and that sounds mildy better than watching a movie#I hate feeling so alone (in the social sense)#normally I'm too busy or my parents are around and we can watch something or play games#but man. when they go out...it's not fun#and I could have gone with them tonight but going to restaurants is just not a fun experience when you have 5+ food allergies#yeah...lots of rambling but I just wanted to get some of that off my chest...#the ramblings of a dragon
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ourgejjg
#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the#lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭#best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad#personal#also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim#to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn#it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight#instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for#easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte#and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT#promising and. AAAAA#also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my#free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️#the engineering chronicles#the music chronicles#i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal…#oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well#what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3#OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat#it hereeee#soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that#idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and#stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn#ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.
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I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago
#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists#thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a#former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews#it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding#list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them#OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony#so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men#monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from#my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer#i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will#let me sit down#yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow)#obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’#today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’#i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’#(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells)#unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware#that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy#i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple#of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy#the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook#honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting#i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i#was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge#this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now#i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig#personal
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drawing hilda/ themed backgrounds has given me such a sense of calm. i dont want to do anything else. im at peace.
#ive got a wip i havent fiddled with a lot thats just a big night background#i want to do a little bit of animation minimal movement for the waves#fish popping their heads up now and again#maybe a water spirit sitting up looking around and dipping back intot he water if im feeling adventurous which i am#soft little music playing behind it just like a little aesthetic video i can turn on to fall asleep to#i might give it some work tonight but im trying to stick to a schedule this weekend and rn#im working on alittle video edit then i want to work on earrings for about an hour#a lot of the backgrounds ive drawn so far are all various looks at franklins grotto and the bay or harbor surrounding it#ive got such a strong sense of what i think it looks like you have to understand my vision
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got to see my roomate’s workplace today. would not recommend
#WELL the recommendation is conditional#it’s the ER#if you go there with a medical emergency it’s a great place to be#everyone I interacted with was very nice and there’s a water fountain and snack machines#so. recommended in case of medical emergency#as a side note don’t have those on sunny spring weekends.#the ER is always packed on those days and there’s a higher likelihood of Very Urgent motorcycle accident patients getting bumped ahead of#everyone else#so. I wouldn’t go back unless I had to. which I think is a healthy attitude to have#it wasn’t a bad time but it certainly wasn’t a good time#also. don’t bike on tram tracks. trust me. it is not a good idea#even if it would save you 5 mins of travel time at three in the morning#it might lead to you spending 5 and a half hours in the er lol#also crutches and a knee brace !#eule personal#and associated anti thrombosis shots. which my roommate will give t#o me at 6 am tomorrow cuz they actually have to go to work tomorrow.#after chilling there with me in the waiting room for half the daylight hours
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sighhhhh made an entire schedule for an imaginary 3mo baby. and wrote down a bunch of notes about how to take care of my imaginary 3mo baby. but then i got rly sad bc i started writing notes about how im going to be working 8 hours a day 5 days a week during the majority of the babys awake time and now im a bit sad . whatever
#Im not having a baby anytime soon i just like planning and researching and thinking about my imaginary baby that i might never actually have#makes me so happy#i do have a disease where i just cant fathom Another person being there. so if there is thats gonna muck up my schedule potentially...#but. i think daycare is a good option if i can find a nice one that i can afford. hooooopefully by the time i have a baby ill have a good#paying job and obviously if there is another parent thatll help with like. money and stuff#sigh idk im trying not to think abt it more but my little momey earlier reaffirmed to me idk if im ever actually going to be able to be in#romantic relationship and that might be for the best. and also idk im just very paranoid that even if i do magically get uncrazy and fall i#love with somebody and im well adjusted enough to have a kid likee. what if they end up being abusive or neglectful of the baby. you know.#its one of my biggest fears obviously id like. talk In depth abt having kids w them before we have kids and wed work out plans and schedule#together but im just very paranoid basically. but. it doesnt actually matter bc this is all imaginary and Again might not even happen.#im also. hrmm. bc obv a big costsaver daycare wise would be having my parents watch the baby if im living in the same area. however#i have very very specific rules for how ill interact with my baby and i dont know if i trust. my parents. to interact with them the right w#like mainly when they get older one of my big things is that i never ever ever want to yell at my baby i never want to like. yk. i dont wan#to Snap or get angry ik its normal to get overwhelmed and overstimulated but i dont want my kid(s) to like. see me being overwhelmed or#upset w them. you know. but i dont know if i can trust my parents not to snap at my kid . yk. not that i dont want them to meet my kids i#i love my parents despite All that but. idk if id be comfortable leaving my kid alone with them the majority of the day.... yk. maybe#weekend visits once the kids older but i will be Sitting my parents down and Lecturing them . abt how to treat my kid#ik ppl r usually better as grandparents than as parents tho. so hopefully they like. idk. im just very paranoid abt if i do get to have kid#if i do reach a place where i can have kids and take care of them properly like i rly rly want to im rly worried abt like. i just want my#kids to be happy and welladjusted and have a good life And well see this is part of the reason im not ready for kids is bc i place too many#expectations on them already. and i shouldnt go into having a child w a savior complex i shouldnt have a kid for the gratification of#being the one to give the kid a good life. not that i shouldnt want to give the kid a good life but like. you know what i mean. i shouldnt#have a kid just so i can vicariously live out a happy childhood through them. you know. which i fear might be what im subconsciously doing
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when I was little, alternating weekends and holidays read to me like a 50/50 deal between my parents, which was probably because mom was a workaholic and never spent a second of time at home that she didn't have to on weekdays anyway. and then as I got older I spent a lot of weekday afternoons at dad's anyway because his house was much closer to my school and all my friends, but he was working nights so he was usually asleep most of that time and I still had to go back to mom's in the evenings. (I tried using this convenience of proximity as weight to negotiate to move in with him instead once. she had a screaming crying meltdown about how I don't love her and I never asked again.)
but being court-allotted 96 hours out of every 672 (14%) with a handful of bonus days throughout the year is uh. not half. it's very not half. even if we subtract school and sleeping that becomes 64 of 288 (22%). he really got fucked over trying to reach escape velocity huh.
#and yet he still managed to do more for me than she could even in her wildest shitty fantasies.#ask to tag#relevant context: prior to the divorce he was a stay at home parent#he did the cooking and cleaning#and the driving us everywhere#and the keeping us company/supervised outside of school#he even coached my soccer team#if the genders had been reversed and literally nothing else had changed#that custody arrangement would've been viewed as outright criminal#or even if we lived in topsy turvy world and same sex marriage was legal before I was born!#if they'd both been the same gender it would've been Unhinged to give the 'breadwinner' parent primary custody!#instead of the one who had actually been raising the kids!#and of course no one ever asked me or my brother what we wanted#granted I was 8 (albeit already 'mature for my age')#but my brother was 12 - definitely old enough to have a valuable opinion on his own housing#(although she was perfectly happy to do whatever I wanted to my room structure-wise when we moved into a literally-new house the next year)#(so apparently I was old enough to be allowed to have *some* opinions)#(just not ones that might affect her)#a character in a fanfic had a custody arrangement that's 2 nights every week in addition to every other weekend#which even if you pretend it doesn't matter where you sleep would literally double the amount of time you get with the kid#compared to dad's allotment.
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ok lock in time
#i’m gonna give myself until the weekend after the deadline to come out bcs it would be so inconvenient on a weekday#which gives me 11 days#ok i’ve heard enough repper horror stories to transition bcs i really don’t wanna be like that#i’ve looked on the mirror enough to like be ok with my shoulders??#ideally my face will get improved by hrt bcs estrogen will atrophy my masseuses and tigheten skin#realistically when i want ffs i just want forehead/hairline shit#eyebrow ridge and tracheal shave hopefully my jaw and nose should be fine#thankfully i have a reasonably small midface#apparently there’s no way to completely stop me growing without proper surgery (drilling growth plates) but if i go on estrogen mono therap#on a high dose apparently it lowers growth which would be good to do#i really don’t wanna have to diy but i just don’t see any other solution#if i diy only blockers i’ll just end up tall bcs blockers make you taller#mono therapy also means injections which is just#ughhhh#in terms of other surgery i don’t really need a lot#i have luckshit waist and ribs#i have decentish weight distribution and it’ll only get better on hrt#my shoulders r a bit broad for cis girls but nothing crazy like even consani and schafer have broader shoulders on my and they r youngshits#plus baggy is in rn so i don’t have to show off the parts of me that i don’t like#ugh if i had just started blockers a little earlier i wouldn’t have this damn adams apple#oh i also need to start voice training ughhh#anyways if coming out goes well and mum and dad let me diy life should be set#i get brainworms to keep me disciplined i get fem socialised by being faggy#i can go stealth in uni ideally i should be passing before graduation but that might be a bit idealistic#then i still have science or finance paths ahead of me#not having male privilege is gonna suck tho#esp in finance#honestly the biggest issue to me passing in the future might be my hair#it’ll take so long to grow out and i’ll probably have to striaghten it#for coming out to the rest of the family it’s kinda a mixed bag
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── smarty. ( pjs ) 🪷
๑ Jay has had enough of your brattiness for today, there’s only so much he can take.. so he may as well teach you a little lesson, right?
pair: bf!jay ㅊ gf!reader | warnings: smut, angst (??), small age gap (jay is 5 years older), d/s dynamics, bratty!reader, slight ddlg themes, spanking, p.ssy slapping, oral (f. rec), edging, crying, daddy kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, reader is implied to be a curvy/thick girly but anyone can read tbh ! | words: 1.7k
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
“what’d i tell you about saying things like that?”
“i don’t care, it’s true !” you snarled, if it hadn’t been made clear how aggravated you were, it sure as hell was now.
you and jay spent the weekend with his parents at a resort somewhere in jeju. everything was going fine at first, that was until an unexpected guest invited themselves to join your little ‘family trip’. her name was hanna ? halie ? you don’t know and you didn’t care. what fogged your mind for the rest of the trip was how she clung up onto jay like the smoke to dry ice.
what agitated you even more about her was her need to call you out asking you a million questions about your clothing and how she’s so shocked that jay settled down with someone like you. all of her backhanded compliments would rub you the wrong way and she just gave you weird vibes. it’s as if you weren’t “pretty enough” to date him; according to her at least. don’t get it twisted, jay definitely shut all of that down. he wouldn’t let any woman pin you as anything less than you were. a fucking goddess.
“why’re you acting like this? what’d i even do?” he paused. “what haneul does has nothing to do with me.” he continued, eyes focused on the road. he’s become fed up with your constant nagging. maybe it’s just his level of maturity that makes him unable to see it, but he doesn’t understand why you worry so much, it was as if every ‘i love you the most’ ‘you’re my favorite’ ‘it’s only you’s’ didn’t matter. he felt like his words held no weight whatsoever.
“nothing to do with you ? hah, you’re the one who let her bombard our vacation. might i add family vacation.” you sterned, shifting your body closer to the door of the vehicle, looking out the window.
“what did you expect me to do y/n? she’s been a family friend for years now, i can’t just tell her to fuck off and go somewhere else. she’d go crying to my mom about how mean i was to her and that’s just extra drama that i don’t need right now..” he exhaled heavily, glancing at your avoidant figure. when he got no reply from you he left it be, turning up the music to avoid the awkward atmosphere the both of you created.
๑ ๑ ๑
“babe, can you pass me my frames ?” jay dared to ask even though you’d been ignoring him since the incident from earlier.
“y/n.” “please ?” watching as you hadn’t budged even a bit he grew upset. it was already bad enough for him that you were acting like he didn’t even exist, which was fine. though, he wouldn’t just take your constant disrespect.
so he got rid of what seemed to be your main source of attention. your phone.
“what the fuck, jay !” you reached at him. “give me my phone !”
“jay !” he mocked, his voice altering to sound high pitched like yours. “don’t you see that i’m trying put things back together? why do you have to act like such a child.” he was disappointed in you. you were a fully legal adult, yet your actions said differently.
“strip.” jay broke the silence you let fill the room. you were hesitant, and confused, but at least you were actually looking at him now. “you heard me, now.” his brow raised as his mouth slipped a scoff.
were you just gonna let him boss you around ? definitely not. were you feeling intimidated ? yes. but your pride stood stronger than the trouble you’d get into. you breathe heavily finding your way to the door of your bedroom for your dramatic escape; until you felt a tug at your arm and then the softness of your mattress, cosigned with the weight of your built boyfriend.
“i guess i have to do everything myself today, huh ?” jay sounded calm but you knew otherwise, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t let this play out just to see this side of him. ‘cause you did. hell, you felt your wetness dripping past the wall of your ass, the sticky sensation sending your body chills.
the jingle of his belt caught your attention, but before you could even glance at him, your face was meshed with the comforter of your shared bed. you shriek.
“jay— !”
“oh now you wanna talk ? huh, funny.” his hand sent goosebumps throughout your body as he runs his palm over your clothed ass. “it’s a shame you don’t listen. now your pretty tails gonna be all red.” he pinched the fabric of your skirt flicking it upwards onto your lower back.
“ ‘m sorry..” you uttered feeling him tug at your underwear.
now, jay was ignoring you. all you felt was him adjusting your waist, so that your ass sat in the air.
“‘m really sorry..ja—” you pause, shrieking at the leather that came in contact with your silky skin. if you could describe the feel of it, it’s like a slow burn, a slow burning that spread like wildfire everytime he unleashed the branded weapon on you.
discipline is a topic your parents took lightly. yeah, they disciplined you, but it was never a ‘bend over my knee’ type of discipline. more like, every morning you wake up ‘sit in that corner’ type of discipline. jay never went soft on you when it came down to it. he wanted to make sure you never do whatever you’re in trouble for again.
“crying ? what’re you crying for,” jay never pushed aside your emotions, he had to hear you out or his guilt would eat him alive. hearing you sniffle shot a sort of worry in him.
“listen, you put yourself in this situation—” he paused throwing his belt. “you already know what happens when you wanna act like a brat.” he palmed your cunt. he wasn’t going to baby you this time, that’s all he ever did. maybe this was partially his fault too..
subconsciously, you felt yourself grinding on his hand. you were needy, you always were after a punishment, even if he didn’t know. but now, you were on display. there was no way he wouldn’t find out.
“you’re such a fucking slut,” his thumb caressing your entrance, pushing your sweetness through your dewy folds. “already so wet for daddy, hm?” his thumb slid through your sticky walls in a in and out motion. your slick caking his finger everytime he pulled it from inside you.
“please..” was a constant that came from your mouth. you didn’t know what you were pleading for. more ? less ? what was it ? you only knew that he made you feel so good. the look of him drenched you. you wanted him to slut you out. ruin you.
“please ? please what?” he couldn’t help but snort at you. the mere thought that you can get what you want with just a please— scratch that. the thought that you think you can get whatever you want after testing his patience, made him laugh. “please.. forgive me ?”
“i dunno..m” you slurred, you were estatic. just his thumb, making you feel so dumb. it made you feel small, like you were nothing but a tiny spectacle of dust.
“you dunno..? wan’ me to help you find out ?” you were flipped onto your back before you knew it. once you saw the shift in his eyes change, you knew what he was prone to do. the thought itself making you spread your legs wide open.
you even made the mistake of trying to rub yourself. that quickly got disposed.
“you lost your damn mind ?” his hand reached down to slap your weeping pussy.
“baby, i can’t wait.. please!” you whined watching as he kneeled down, face between your begging thighs, hands cupping each pretty chunk of flesh.
“but you can.” “matter of fact, you will.” he blew onto your core. the cold sensation bringing your hips to a jolt. his eyes scanned your smaller figure watching every expression that played out on your face, then down to your breasts. “lift up your shirt, let me see your beautiful body, baby.”
earning yourself a “good little girl.” when you comply.
๑ ๑ ๑
you hadn’t gotten a break since he started his mouth on you. drinking in your first orgasm, then the second. seems like you were now on your third.
“fuck.. jay.” you groaned your hips aching to move in his grasp. you’d try not to breakdown whenever his nose came in touch with your throbbing clit.
“you done ? talk to me baby.” he growled against your heat. his warm breath made you thirsty. he was eating you like it was his last supper. ripping you to absolute shreds.
“i’m gonna come, daddy..” your legs were shaking, your voice was whiney, and you needed an exhale. once he started sucking on your clit your back arched. at him, the feel, and the thought of him, making you feel.
“yeah, you gonna come for me ?”
“yeah.. wan’ come for you..” you spoke through labored breaths. once your moaning got louder, he stopped. he’d love to make you come, third times a charm. but he wasn’t going to. he basically lured you in just to trick you.
“jayy !” “it was right there, i was about to cum !” you childishly whined at the begging sensation between your legs. the quivering feeling making you force your legs closed to suppress the throbbing feel. you felt his hungry stare on you. you knew he wanted you. it’s when you realized this wasn’t an after punishment treat. he was edging you. right after overstimulating you. how cruel..
“aww, look at you ! my pretty girl..” he pouted at you, your sad, twitching state. you were groaning for more as he watched you. pitying you. how could you have thought it was over? after a mere spanking ? silly.
“i guess you really thought huh.” he cackled. “ooh ! should we order room service.. i’m kinda hungry. you ?” he got up to go and search for the phone.
maybe you did deserve this. shouldn’t be acting so damn bratty all the time, even if it’s in your nature to piss him off. now look at you. eyes all watery, and a mess between your legs.
oh well, not his problem.
#jay smut#park jongseong smut#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#jay x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen drabbles#enha smut
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𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍, aaron hotchner
aaron hotchner x fem!reader (906 words)
in which you get a necklace with aaron’s initial and he’s absolutely whipped for you <3
warnings: none, clingy hotch :)
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹
One of your hands holds the generous amount of shopping bags, the other moves to unlock the door. You open it slowly, in case Jack's already asleep. It's just after dinner time but after all the plans Aaron and him had for today, you know he's probably fast asleep in his bed by now.
"Aaron?" You call out gently as you take off your shoes, immediately hearing his footsteps approaching. He appears seconds later, towel draped over his shoulder from doing the dishes.
"Hey, honey. How was shopping with the girls?" He asks with a small smile, leaning over to peck your lips before taking the bags from you and setting them down on the coffee table.
"Pretty good, got everything i needed to get. I also bought Jack a shirt." In your defence, it had a picture of his latest cartoon obsession. How could you resist it?
"You didn't have to." He takes a step towards you and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
"I disagree." You retort, though you know he doesn't mind you buying thing for Jack. He's not your own, but he's your boy nevertheless. "Is he asleep?"
"Yeah, just put him to bed." Aaron moves to hold your face, leaving kisses all over you forehead. Barely getting to see you on his weekend off feels like some kind of torture and he has plans to not leave your side until Monday.
"Hm, can i go give him a goodnight kiss? Wanna leave his new shirt there so he wakes up to a surprise." You smile eagerly, chuckling at his false annoyed groan.
"Sure, hun. I'll finish the dishes and meet you upstairs." He answers, giving your back a soft tap as you rush to pick up the bag and run upstairs.
You pad into Jack's bedroom, kneeling besides his bed to kiss his forehead gently. Setting the bag at the end of his bed, you leave the room as silently as you came in.
You head to the bedroom that by now is just as yours as it's Hotch's. Gathering one of his shirts before entering the bathroom to get ready for bed.
When you come out, you're met with the sight of Aaron in only a shirt and boxers. Sitting against the headboard of the bed as he waits for you.
"How was your day?" You move under the covers to get comfortable while he starts listing all the activities him and Jack did today.
His hands move to massage your sore legs and you can't help but smile at his thoughtfulness. But they come to a stop once his gaze falls on the gold necklace peaking out from your shirt. He hooks a finger around it, pulling it out from it's hiding place.
Aaron eyes you curiously as it is now completely visible, a small 'A' adorning the middle of the necklace.
"What's this?" He asks, the answer quite evident but he can't get himself to believe it. He looks at you lovingly, brown eyes contrasting with yellow light and making your heart race.
"Oh, i saw it at store and it was too pretty not to get. Besides, you're a part of me and i wanted people to know it." You answer almost sheepishly, fingers playing with the fabric of his shirt. "It's also waterproof so i never have to take it off."
Aaron swears his heart might jump out of his chest. He knows you love him, he just didn't know it was this loudly. He hopes you never stop doing it.
He wonders what the best reaction to this would be, but he can't get himself to think about it too much before he's tugging you closer. Lips pressing against yours in a gentle kiss.
"I'll get one with yours." He mumbles a bit too seriously and you can't help but laugh.
"You don't wear necklaces, Aaron." You hold his face gently, making sure he knows you appreciate the suggestion anyway. You don't need him to get one too, you're content like this.
Aaron hums with a thoughtful expression, "I'll get it engraved on my watch then." He insists and you have to hold back another laugh at the way he raises his eyebrows trying to persuade you.
"Aaron." You try to sound stern but it's prove quite impossible when he kisses your cheek over and over again.
"How about on my handkerchief?"
"Please don't. We'll be looking like an old married couple." You tease with an affectionate smile.
"We could be." His answer is way more sweet than you expected it to be, heat rushing to your cheeks. He smiles at that and pulls you impossibly closer.
"Are you proposing, Hotchner?" You tease further, though your heart is beating wildly in your chest. He's way too nice.
"You think lowly of me." He plays along, his own smile never leaving his face.
Silence falls over you two for a moment and you take advantage of it to lay your head against his chest, relaxing at the sound of his heart beating against your ear.
"Thank you, seriously." Aaron mutters with a gentle squeeze on your shoulder and kiss against your hair.
"Don't bother." Your words come out a bit slurred, sleep starting to evade you. "Love you."
"I love you." He pulls the covers up to your shoulders. He makes note to start looking for rings before his own eyes fall shut.
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹
love you,
cat 🤍
#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x y/n
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