#which honestly so valid like that's not his problem

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Animorphs + Runaways Headcanons

@questbedhead Sorry that first reply got off-topic, but you asked what would happen if the Animorphs met Marvel's Runaways. A few thoughts:

Tobias and Gert would get on like a house on fire. She'd admire his being so committed to being outside adult control that he turned himself into a bird. He'd admire her willingness to do All The Reading to back up her opinions with facts and philosophers. It's not even that they'd talk for hours, more that they'd agree with everything the other person said and not need to say much more.

Rachel and Jake, on the other hand, would not get on well with the others. The Runaways have been gifted these awesome powers — a magic staff, alien sun-rays, super-gauntlets — and they use them to... fix the leaky pipe in the ceiling. And upgrade their friend's robot body. And impress alien girls. And beat Wolverine at arm-wrestling. Like, sure, aliens are invading, because aliens are always invading. But that's not Karolina's or Nico's problem, and it's definitely not Chase's. Rachel would be pissed that they're letting all this power go to waste, and Jake would be Not Angry Just Disappointed that they're not even trying to right all the world's wrongs.

I could see Marco and Karolina having a lot in common. Hopefully in a scenario where they meet, they can rely on each other while learning how to be queer while also learning how to be mega-famous. Bonus if they go on lots of friend-dates to pump up each other's reputations (and each other's alleged straightness).

Molly and Rachel, in a shopping mall, with the Hayes' credit card: imagine the possibilities. Molly loves being taken care of, and Rachel loves shopping for her friends. Quite possibly they shut the mall down by staying there so long and trying on so many outfits that eventually security kicks them out. At which point they haul their 40-odd shopping bags to the field out back, set the clothes aside, and spend a few hours finding out if Molly can win a wrestling match against a grizzly bear.

Honestly, Ax would probably be right there with Jake and Rachel about disliking the group as a whole. Nico's indifference to Alex, who tried to kill several of them, would be appalling to him and cause him to question the whole team's mission. These two claim they're looking out for Gert and Molly, but they let a known traitor on the team! And a vampire! And a man-eating housecat! And a friggin' Doombot! And... whatever Xavin's inheritance situation is, they don't seem to know that themself. Ax tends to have trust issues, and tends to default to andalite ideas about one's ancestors being all-important. Not only would he not approve of Nico, but he'd say something to hurt her feelings within 10 minutes of meeting her. And then quite possibly attempt to steal the Staff of One to see if "Kill all yeerks" is still one of its valid commands.

Cassie would have really complicated feelings about Old Lace. On the one hand, implanting brain chips into an animal and forcing her to live waaaaaaay outside her ecological niche is the height of cruelty. On the other hand, Gert and Chase didn't do that; the Yorkeses did, and they're just trying to deal with the animal-cruelty situation they've got. Also, Cassie is practical enough to recognize that animals are dangerous, and that having a prehistoric critter that eats people alive if they upset Gert is, in fact, a bad fucking idea. People will get hurt. People have gotten hurt, and that includes Old Lace. Controversial, but: I'm pretty sure Cassie would advocate for euthanizing Old Lace, for the good of everyone involved. At which point Gert and Chase would quite possibly attempt to euthanize Cassie.

[greenteacology]

met a new york celebrity last night (burning garbage can)

[wileycap]

I think we in the A:TLA fandom have missed the absolute potential of the fact that Ozai Firelord is canonically a fucking idiot. I mean the dude's straight up stupid. And I want to be very clear that this isn't a plot hole, this isn't a flaw in the show, this is a fantastic and super realistic element that honestly enhances my enjoyment of it! Dictators are often stupid and breed a culture of cronyism-over-competence. Any similarities with real world leaders, dead or alive, are coincidental yet inevitable.

What do I mean?

Well, let's take the Drill. When faced with the problem of Big Wall, Ozai's Fire Nation comes up with Big Drill. One singular Big Drill. Which, as anyone except an idiot could have predicted, immediately breaks down and accomplishes nothing. And if the Fire Nation had made it past the wall, then they would have been fighting through a narrow opening against people who can hurl long distance rocks! Which, if your face or body is vulnerable to high velocity rocks, is a bad thing for you and also for the battle.

Not to mention the resource cost of that thing! It's so insanely gigantic, it must have cost the Fire Nation the equivalent of trillions. For ONE drill. Not ten smaller drills. Just ONE drill. (Fanfic fuel: how much did Ba Sing Se profit off of stripping that drill for parts? Did they reverse engineer it? Did Long Feng keep that for himself?)

And you might be thinking, fairly, that it was War Minister Qin who came up with the drill and you'd be right, but it's Ozai who's approving all this shit. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and asking Qin if he et the whole edible, or even the in-character thing of burning him to death, Ozai just goes... big drill. Makes sense. We should have the biggest drill, because we are the biggest nation. Drill, baby, drill. sorry

It's not the first time, either! He also approves Zhao's invasion of the North Pole, apparently just because Zhao is good at kissing ass and hates Zuko? I couldn't tell you what merits Zhao has. We do not see him lead a single successful mission. The closest he comes is Pohuai, and even then its the Yuyan archers who do most of the work. (My longstanding headcanon is that the reason we don't see the Yuyan archers again is because Zhao blamed the whole thing on them and they were disbanded. This is great fic fuel for displaced Yuyan archers just, wandering around, being elite.)

He approved a massive naval invasion of the North Pole, surrounded by and made of water and ice, inhabited by people who bend water. A nation that was, by its own choice, completely out of the war.

Every time we see Ozai doing something, it's something stupid. Like disfiguring and banishing his firstborn child in a culture that has primogeniture. And then (once he's done pissing away a massive fleet of ships) he does the logical thing and sends his only other heir to bring his first heir back - even though his first heir would have been willing to return with a simple invitation. Like he could have sent a letter saying "dear son come home miss u pick up 200 000 tons of steel qin wants 2 build a drill lol", and Zuko would have come. (Okay, he did have a valid reason for having Zuko escorted, since he thought Iroh was a traitor, but there's absolutely NO reason to risk Azula. Why not send Combustion Man? It's the luckiest stroke of luck ever that Azula is 100 times more competent than her dad.)

Of course, a dictator(-wannabe) sending his daughter on high-level diplomatic missions is pure fiction. Nobody would do that.

The best part of this is that it's entirely realistic and in-character. I could absolutely imagine Ozai purging all of his competent admirals and generals, and then promoting brownnoses like Zhao and crackpots like Qin, because they promised him glorious destinies and secret knowledge of Big Drill.

I also really, really want a scene of Zuko and Azula realizing that their father is a fucking idiot.

I would also like to note that all this stupid shit happens after Iroh leaves with Zuko. So, here's a headcanon: the only reason the Fire Nation didn't immediately implode when Ozai took the throne and purged everyone is because of Iroh. Iroh leaving with Zuko doomed Ozai. It's also a nice little drop of complexity in Iroh's character - he knew he was single-handedly keeping the Fire Nation afloat, yet he only left when Zuko did. Did he plan for Zuko to take the throne from the start? What was his plan before Aang showed up? Did he not intervene in the Agni Kai because he was afraid, or because he knew that Ozai was making a huge mistake and didn't want to interrupt? Give me chessmaster Iroh please.

[alexispunkkk]

back where we started

୨ৎ ୨ৎ ୨ৎ

- pairing: dark!joel x fem!reader

- summary: joel is a horrible partner post-outbreak. he yells. isn't too nice. fucks.

- warnings: dark!!! dubcon, slapping, choking, hair tugging, unprotected piv (don't do this guys!), smut smut smut smut, degrading, yelling, no established relationship, rough sex, crying, unsafe sex, angry sex, joel has crazy anger issues, blood, huggeee nasty age gap (legal, though! your choice for age), public / outdoor sex, size kink, joel's got a massive dick lols, power imbalance, submission, no aftercare, squirting, dirty talk, thigh riding if you squint, manhandling, joel is just incredibly mean. total asshole.

- word count: 4.5k

- author’s note: feining for mr joel miller recently so i wrote this... my first joel fic!! its gross yall. have your fun though!

—————————————୨ৎ

Partnering up with Joel Miller wasn’t ideal. He’s always looking at you like you’re some problem he doesn’t know how to solve – like you’re just cargo he’s exhausted of having to drag along. 

You don’t want to admit it, but he’s honestly an asshole. A real fucking dick, a mean bastard. To everyone else you meet, you’re a well loved, sweet girl. To Joel, though, you���re a burden. He’s a miserable person, and hanging around him only came with the positive that he knew how to hunt, how to keep you decently safe. But, hey, it’s better to be stuck with a brute of a man than to be infected. Right?

For whatever reason, the frustration has been building worse than usual for the past few days. You move like you’re on eggshells, do anything to not upset him, stay quiet when you’re asked and obey his every order. But it’s Joel fucking Miller. Nothing is ever enough with him. 

You’re young, but that's not a valid excuse for Joel. He expects as much out of you as he would another man his size and seniority, which is totally unfair of a girl your age.

So every little mistake ticks him off. Really riles him up. His temper is really fired up today for whatever reason, and you’re trying your best to not exacerbate it. 

—————————————୨ৎ

Joel should know now your most common flaws – he does pay attention, but that mind of his was too preoccupied with his fresh plan to head east to remember just how forgetful you tend to be. 

You remember twenty minutes after you leave. Everything is packed up, rifle on Joel’s thick shoulder, sleeping bags taken from Bill and Frank’s now deserted house strapped to your backs. Everything but one thing. And arguably, the most important thing for the new change of route. 

“Can y’get me out the map, girl?”

Girl. He always insists on calling you that. Rather derogatory, like he doesn’t wanna address you by a human name. Just girl.

At the question, your steps stutter. A little patch of dirt kicked up from your shoe hits the back of Joel’s calf, earning a soft grunt. “You fuckin’ deaf now? I said gimme the damn map.”

He knows what your silence means, and in that moment he's about to lose his goddamn mind. His feet stop bluntly, his large, brooding frame turning to face you. 

Your pace slows soon after him, halting to a nervous stop while your gaze flickers from its usual spot on the ground up into his dark eyes. A warning look.

“Better not tell me you lost the fuckin’ thing.” 

No words come out of your mouth, let alone even pop into your head; all you can seem to do is stare up at him like a mindless idiot, his height towering over yours when he takes a small step closer.

Again, your steps follow, this time backward. You stumble back half a foot, a twig cracking under the shift of your weight. Out of nervous habit, your left hand reaches for the right wrist, gently stroking the skin to keep yourself somewhat calm.

“Joel, I didn’t–”

His movements match your own, his large, calloused hands lurching forward to rip your hand off your wrist. It gets replaced with his own grip, but much tighter. Aggressive. Taut. Outraged. 

“Y’didn’t what? Didn’t think for once how t’not be a goddamned idiot?” He snarls, his untamed fingernails digging into the skin for a moment and leaving tiny crescents into the first layer. “Why d’you always gotta be like this, girl? Fuckin’ stupid…”

He trails off, removing his tight grip on your forearm, but not without hostility. He lets go but ends it with a good yank. Not hard enough to pop it out of place, but hard enough to get a quiet whimper out of your shy throat.

You never know what to say when he gets like this. Whether to defend yourself, whether to stay shut up and take the tirade. But you sure know well enough not to fight back – that’s how to get your arm pulled out of the socket.

“I–I swear, Joel. I had it, I don’t know where it went.”

He never takes your stupid excuses. They’re useless, he’ll never believe you. He knows that you know you forgot it at the last spot you camped out. And this time, the excuse was a pathetic mumble, your eyes glued at your wrist and the mark he left when he gripped it. Even more to make your pitiful case unconvincing. 

“Yeah, the hell you do. Quit lyin’, you know damn well where that map is.” He scoffs, brushing past you with a shove to the shoulder, his larger figure knocking you a few inches with a soft oof. “Back in the woods where you left it, ain’t it?”

Of course, you can’t plead your case anymore. You give in, nodding in submission and trudging after him once he turns around, back in the direction where you surely left the damn map. 

“...Yeah.” You murmur, rubbing a dry hand across the bottom half of your face, against your snotty nose. Not because you’d been crying, this is nothing from Joel yet. Just because the month has been terribly cold and sleeping outside every night isn’t doing you well. “At our last camp. M’sorry.”

“Always fuckin’ sorry. Sorry for almost gettin’ yourself killed, sorry for forgetting somethin’ again and again. M’sick of your shit.” He grunts, readjusting the rifle strapped over his shoulder. 

When you first met him, words like that got to you, as much as you hate to admit it. But now, everything seems to fade together. He’s just Joel. That’s how he is. And you’ve gotta live with it and try your best to not piss him off. 

To your luck, he shuts up and stops berating you – at least until you’re close to the previous camp spot. Just silence, interrupted only by the awkward shuffling of your steps behind him, desperately trying to keep up with his longer strides and stay quiet to not worsen his anger.

But when you get close enough and he has to start looking for the damned map, his mumbling and annoyance boils over once again, infiltrating the somewhat comfortable silence that your ears just got used to.

“Map was the only fuckin’ thing getting us around… no goddamn compass.” Joel mutters under his breath. Not at you, for once, but just a natural spilling of his frustration. He’s always gotta be mumbling about something, even in his sleep. “Slow me down enough as is. Gotta lose everythin’, too.”

You joined aimlessly behind him, searching around the patchy grass, anywhere for the map that was stressing him out so terribly. 

Minutes go by. He’s getting angrier by the minute, his hands flexing while he crouches down and searches. Mad, but still pretty tame for a pissed-off Joel Miller. 

That is, until he glances up and actually gets a look at you for the first time in an hour. He normally avoids any eye contact, avoids even peeking over at you. At that damn little frame… so much younger, sweeter. He seemingly hates having you around because you always tick him off, but what he hates more is the temptation that comes with having a pretty little girl by his side at all times.

He finally lets his eyes fall on you. But this time, he can’t even get his usual peek at your lips or neck, because something else catches his eye. A familiar shred of paper – just the fucking corner – poking out the zipper of your backpack. 

He genuinely slaps himself in the face, eyes turning dark and fists curling up in pure rage at the sight.

“Are you fucking kidding me.”

He growls. Not a question, but a threat. His eyes are black at this point, breath speeding up while he takes another step toward you. Not cautious like he’ll sometimes let himself be, but warring. 

You’re confused for a bit, as you hadn’t seen the map in your own bag. Or even thought to look before you turned around and walked a half hour back, a complete waste of your time. “Oh…”

He starts again, his voice much lower than usual. Dangerous.

“You wanna tell me…” Joel breathes, stepping towards you even more until he’s got you backed against a tree. Bark pushing your shirt and jacket up, scraping at the bare skin of your lower back. “Why the hell we just wasted an hour of our time, when the map was practically right in your fuckin’ hand!”

As he curses, your heart drops. You don’t have time to react before his hands are up, flying at you. You flinch, thinking they’re coming to hurt you, but they’re reaching into your backpack. 

And sure enough, there it is. The map you spent so much valuable time fussing over. Right on your damn back. 

‘I didn’t know, Joel. Didn’t think to check.” You whimper and choke out from the back of your throat, weak and apologetic. Again, he’s not one for excuses and apologies. He’s on you before you can even think, hand forcing the map in your face.

His palm hits your mouth when he shoves the paper, a direct blow to your jaw. Your lip comes in forced contact with your bottom row of teeth, tearing the skin and swelling instantly. The only thing that can escape your mouth now is a pained whimper, which agitates the furious man on top of you worse. 

“Fuckin’ idiot. Wastin’ my damn time like always. Do you ever think?” He scoffs and backs up, maybe half an inch. 

When he notices your slightly busted lip, it brings him a sense of triumph. You ticked him off and now you’re gonna pay for it. And you sure enough feel guilty enough to not stop him, so he’s got you trapped now.

You’re frozen in place against the tree, refusing to move or utter out even the smallest of another noise. Suddenly, Joel’s mind is more occupied by the girl under his grip, shaking like a damn leaf with a bleeding and busted lip. 

“Asked you a question, little shit.” He grunts and lets his hand venture up to your jaw, pushing it around like a toy before settling with a tight grip, squeezing your cheeks and watching how the blood oozes from your lip at the pressure. “Said, do you ever fuckin’ think?”

Sure, he’s yelled at you plenty, disciplined you, maybe put his hands on you out of frustration a couple of times before. But it never feels like this. His hands usually let up after they land on you, but now he’s squeezing at your face and looking into your hazy eyes as if this is a challenge.

“Mm.” You whine, throat bobbing while you adjust to the feeling of his huge hand gripping your face. “N-no.” 

Your voice is only the softest of a mutter. 

“Speak up, girl. Didn’t hear ya’.” He rolls his eyes, giving your face a nice knead and jerking it to the side to jolt you up more. 

A shuddering breath leaves your mouth, head jerking to the right at the flick of his wrist. He holds it against the tree, your ponytail getting caught on the rough edge of the bark, the lumber scraping your ear.

“No. Don’t–don’t ever think enough. M’sorry. Wasn’t… wasn’t thinkin’.”

You sigh, head lifting up while you feel the familiar sensation of your throat tightening up, eyes starting to burn. But you keep it in. 

Joel hums, jerking your head again and shoving it harder onto the hard bark. “Damn right. Don’t think. A fuckin’ burden on me.”

He’s not doing it because he’s mad anymore. Hell, he’s already forgotten about the stupid map that caused all of this. He’s doing it to get a rise out of you.

And you know that’s all he wants.

His gaze is different, his tone similar to but not matching the genuine anger you hear from him most of the time. There's a hint of more challenge in it, maybe even passion. The hand on your jaw only confirms that.

“Shoulda’ left you behind when I got the chance.” He mutters, knowing that threatening to leave you really gets under your skin. Honestly, he’s all that you have, and you’d be dead without him. So that always seems to hurt a little more than some name calling. 

You don’t react, gulping and keeping still at his arduous words. Getting no reaction from you riles him up worse, his free hand coming down to strike at the wood above your head. You flinch, and a tear unpromptedly rolls down your cheek. You don’t feel it until Joel curses, laughing in disbelief and moving his hand from your jaw down to your throat.

He squeezes. Not tight, not yet. A groan escapes his throat, low and almost pained. And before you know it, he’s got his body pressed against yours, rubbing you uncomfortably into the rotting tree. 

“Such a fuckin’ mess.” He grunts, one hand around your throat to cut off any words and the other moving to your chin to move your gaze up to him. “Cryin’ like a baby when you were the one that lost the map.” 

Your pulse jumps when he degrades you, and he swears he sees something else in your eyes this time. Not the usual fear, but something that looks like arousal. 

It sparks something in him, and he wants to see it again. His hand tightens on your neck, earning a pained gasp from your pretty throat. Your eyes lock, and he watches your head tilt back against the tree, your eyes fluttering slightly.

He can’t take much more. A tiny whimper comes out of you when his knee presses against your thigh. 

That’s it. That’s fucking it.

Joel growls. Low. Frustrated. He gives up on the choking, instead gripping the back of your head and taking hold of your messy ponytail. He tugs, tilting your head more, his big aquiline nose moving down to bump under your ear and rub along the cold curve of your jaw. 

“Fuck’s wrong with you?” He whispers, his unkempt scruff that he calls a beard brushing up against you, scratching deep into the skin he just had a hand wrapped around. “Feel you gettin’ turned on. Fuckin’ slut, getting all worked up when I’m angry with you.”

You can’t do anything but take his advances and cry softly, feeling the cotton of your panties dampening each time his gruff voice comes out against your ear, his harsh breath biting at your neck. 

“Don’t got time for th’shit.” He mutters, but you hear his resolve dropping. He’s getting less and less frustrated over you wasting time, but more frustrated over the fact that he’s got his knee between your legs and he can feel the heat seeping through the fabrics, even in the biting cold weather. “Don’t got time for you makin’ me… makin’ me–ngh.”

His words stop, replaced by a low grunt into your ear the second your body even twitches against his. The grip on your ponytail tightens, tugging backward and earning a needy whine from you.

As much as he wants to keep degrading you, making you feel worthless under him, he’s feeling pretty pathetic himself. And he never gets like this with women.

His nose bumps your ear one more time before he can’t take it – his lips crash into yours. It’s not friendly. It’s not intimate. It’s fucking rude.

He intrudes, letting go of your hair and grabbing your body instead to push you against the damn tree harder. Mouths battle, and he wins, nipping hard and tasting the metallic blood from where he busted your lip earlier. Yum. 

“Joel.” You whimper, finally. It’s music to his ears, but he can’t show that. He has to be tough, not show that he’s into this. Not into the young girl he’s supposed to be training.

Joel grumbles, bringing a hand up to mindlessly slap at the side of your face at the sound of your whimper. 

“Shut up.”

And you do.

You’d do anything he told you right now. The feeling of him slapping you, biting your lips, pressing his thick knee between your thighs has got you absolutely pathetic. It’s fucking disgusting, you know that. To be so grossly into the fifty-six year old man that’s been taking care of you, the one that relentlessly bullies you and makes you feel like a worthless burden.

But you like it. You’d be anything for him, even if it meant being a worthless, pathetic burden. 

Joel’s got control. Obviously. His hand that slapped you runs over the heated skin in the same spot, almost to soothe it. What a gentleman. His lips slow on yours for a moment, latching onto the neck he had his hand around earlier instead.

In the deep woods, the only sounds heard are the birds above and his angry gasps against your skin, breathing like a madman. The softer sounds are interrupted by one of his belt clinking, being unbuckled mindlessly. And then the rustle of fabric. And then the unfamiliar sound of denim against Joel’s rough skin.

He’s straining against his boxers. Hard. Harder than he thinks he may ever have, but you don’t know that. You can tell he’s big through the fabric. It’s a thought that’s crossed your mind maybe once or twice, but you would never have expected for it to be pressed against your thigh, dangerous amounts of precum slowly leaking through the thin fabric of his briefs. 

You distract yourself while he gets busy attacking your neck and working your pants off – you don’t wanna believe it. Joel Miller is about to fuck you. He slapped you, choked you, degraded you, sure. That’s believable. But now he’s going to fuck you with that giant cock of his. 

As if it helps you not give in too much, you look everywhere to try and distract yourself. Down. His boxers read CALVIN KLEIN at the top. Up. The top button of his flannel came undone. He’s got a lot of chest hair. Behind him. There’s a bird watching him gnaw at your neck and tear your pants off, watching his bulging cock rub against your covered thigh. 

And the map is on the ground behind him.

“Fuck you lookin’ at?” He finally interrupts your private session of ‘I spy,’ breathing heavy against your skin and cupping your clothed cunt through your panties. “Look at me.”

You look up, gaze locking with his again. His eyes are equally as dark, but not with anger anymore. Desire. 

He’s gripping extra hard, hands splayed across your waist – almost big enough to wrap around, to grip you real good. Joel’s eyes travel all down your body in ways he’s only ever dreamed of, your pants torn down and now discarded on the forest floor. 

“Gonna fuck the stupidity right outchya’, yeah?” He chuckles, hoisting your body up to keep you settled between him and the tree. “‘N I want you lookin’ at me while I do it, kay’, girl? Eyes up. C’mon now.”

You can do nothing but oblige. Your eyes dart up, staying on him, even when he pulls his cock out that you so badly want to get a look at. The sound of him stroking himself, little grunts escaping his throat mindlessly, is so fucking tempting. 

But you listen, eyes staying on him, hoping to get some kind of praise from him for the first time in your life. Or maybe you want to keep getting debased. Maybe both. You seem to like the shame of it. 

“Gonna fuck you s’good you never forget anythin’ again. M’still pissed about that map, y’hear me?” He grunts, lifting you effortlessly to move his cock up into place. He’s so strong, and you’re so little. He can manhandle you however he wants, use you for his pleasure. And maybe you want that. 

From your mouth slips an obedient hum, your head shaking in a little nod so he knows you’re listening. You swear you see the corner of his mouth quirk up in a smirk, but he replaces it within half a second with a grumble to maintain the tough guy look. 

His cock meets your slick after he pulls your panties to the side, not bothering to take them off. You’re not worth the time. Not after wasting that time with the map debacle. 

The pulsing head of it drags along your slit, collecting a bit of you on the tip, making a filthy mix with his precum. It’s been a minute since any intimacy for Joel, but he can’t let you know anything. Can’t show any kind of vulnerability. He keeps it in, biting his lip and grunting to avoid any embarrassing soft noises.

“Ain’t stoppin’ if you can’t take it, by th’way.” He grumbles into your ear, his tip just barely edging into your soaked cunt. You whimper, and he squeezes your waist in warning. If he didn’t have to be holding you up, he’d have hit you again. 

But, the soft noises you let out make him want more. You seem to let them out when you’re scared – or maybe it's out of arousal. Only from when he totally degrades you. He doesn’t care, he just wants to fuck you senseless.

“Could break ya’ if I wanted. Little… tight fuckin’ pussy.” He groans, head hitting the tree next to yours when his cock finally slides in. It was a fight to get in, your tight walls not stretched enough for his fat dick to fit due to your lack of experience. “Take ya’ how I fuckin’ want.’

If this was any other man, you’d cry and beg for him to stop. But Joel. It’s Joel. Joel fucking Miller. 

It hurts, but his threatening words seem to egg you on. They prod you to take it, try harder to take the thick cock that’s splitting your body right in half.

He doesn’t start slow like some guys. Joel doesn’t start slow. Ever. Joel Miller fucks, and he fucks how he wants. This isn’t about you, this is about him getting his worth back after you wasted all his damn time. 

His hips slam into you at an alarming pace, no time for you to stretch out and adjust to the movement. He’s already hitting deep enough to where, if your shirt was off, you could see the print all the way in your stomach. But no. Your shirt is on. Joel Miller doesn’t care enough to worry about a shirt, that’s foolish. He just wants pussy – no, needs it. He’s a man with priorities. 

You’re screaming, pain and pleasure. Usually he’d tell a woman to ‘shut the fuck’ up for being too loud, but you’re in the middle of the woods. Nobody around, except for the same fucking bird that’s continuing to watch you get destroyed and ripped open by a fifty-six year old. Great.

“God, baby. You’re fuckin’ helpless.” He grunts into your neck, resolve slowly slipping more. His noises get worse, louder. He doesn’t care enough anymore to pretend like this is some chore. 

He’s fucking you and he means it. 

Joel’s hips stutter after a few minutes, just in time with your own. Synced up perfectly. His rhythm is getting out of pace while you feel the pull deep in your core you haven’t felt in so long – white hot pooling in your stomach. You clench around him.

He can’t speak anymore, just like how you haven’t been able to for minutes now. All he can manage out are little grumbles into your hair, squeezing your body while he struggles with words. Getting pathetic himself.

“Fuckin’-- mm. Baby. Baby. Gon’cum soon.” 

At least he warns you. 

You could tell, anyway. The stuttering of his hips, the way he’s only hitting nice and deep now. But you’re in worse, you can’t warn him because your mouth is hung open entirely, spilling out the most pitiful string of moans that doesn’t seem to ever end. 

Without warning, you clench again. He groans, but gets louder when he feels you spill. Burst. All over his aching cock. 

“Shit, shit. You – you squirtin’?” Joel grumbles out, body spasming at the feeling of your liquids all coming out at once. Your legs are shaking, and he feels his own limbs join in. It was too much for him. 

He cums. Hard. Maybe harder than he ever has before, but you don’t have to find that bit out. 

The moment melts into a disgusting mess of simultaneous moans, whimpers, even from Joel. Despite the cold weather that was almost making you sick earlier, you feel hot. Sweaty. Both of  you.

Joel’s head comes to rest atop yours, stroking the back of your ponytail that he’d been tugging at the whole time. And for a moment – just a short moment – you thought he’d maybe take care of you after. Like a real man. 

But no. Apparently, you don’t know Joel well enough by now. He’s his own kind of man.

Once his breathing returns – somewhat – he’s back to ole’ Joel Miller. Grunts, huffs and drops you down by the tree. Tucks his spent cock back in. Before you know it, before you can speak, his pants and belt are back in place and his rifle is strapped back on his shoulder.

Your eyes shut, back scraped up from the rough tree he fucked you relentlessly against. Taking a shuddering breath, you rest for a moment, thinking that if he didn't give you any aftercare he’d at least let you have a moment to breathe. 

But again, no.

“Fuck you doin’?” 

Your single moment of silence is rudely interrupted by his southern drawl, entirely back to normal as if he didn’t have the most intense sex of his life only two minutes ago. As if forgetting it ever happened. 

And the map is back in his hand. And he looks so normal compared to you. And it makes you want to cry for whatever reason. 

There’s nothing else to do but hold back a pained whine from the soreness already building in your body, the blood you feel dripping on your back from the tree, and the metal taste of blood where he hit your lip. The slap on your cheek. The handprint on your throat. Fuck.

“C’mon, little shit. Gotta hurry. Now you wasted an hour of my time.”

[owenwillsons]

"if byler is endgame, why are they not canon yet?"

honestly, it's not a bad question. if they are going to be endgame, why wouldn't they have been made canon in season 4? or, at least, why wouldn't they have made mike's feelings explicit earlier? after all, mike's feelings for will, while obvious to bylers, remain subtextual even at the end of season 4. what is the point of making m!leven last for so long despite their obvious relationship troubles only for them to be broken up in season 5?

el and mike lasting for that long is meaningful - and it's not just for the sake of slow burn. each season represents a different facet of their relationship.

season 1: "m!leven is like a first love!"

season 2: "m!leven can survive through long distance!"

season 3: "m!leven is a classic teenage relationship!"

all the above is purposefully deconstructed in season 4. let me explain.

let's not go in order and start with my favourite season - season 2.

season 2: "m!leven can survive through long distance!"

i was clocked into byler from season 1 episode 1, but i can admit when a ship was cute, and m!leven was the cute as hell in season 2. not a coincidence that it's also the season where they spend virtually no time together.

the struggle throughout season 2 is that mike and el are separated. mike tries to reach her every single day - el wants to tell him that she's alive. that very simple tension makes their reunion genuinely heartwarming and one of my favourite scenes in the show.

season 4 has the same problem that is out of their control - distance. you would assume, having seen what distance does in season 2, that we'll see a similar thing play out in season 4.

of course, this doesn't happen. mostly because in season 2, when el is hiding something from him, it's not her choice. in season 4, when el hides the truth from mike, it is entirely of her own will.

in season 2, distance makes the heart grow fonder. el and mike don't spend all that much time alone together in season 1, and most of that time is taken up with trying to find will rather than spending time together. they kiss, of course, but after that they don't have time to find footing on what their relationship really is. all of that is to say that although mike wants el to be alive, more than that, he wants the idea of her to be alive. ignoring the glaring heteronormativity, he likes the idea of having a girlfriend, and he invents a narrative in his head for her.

no need for him to do that in season 4 - el invents the narrative for him! but this has entirely different consequences. unlike mike, the lies in el's narrative has consequences, and we see it play out in unfortunate high definition.

mike isn't exempt from this - he also invents a version of el in his head which is different from both the real el and the el that she invents for him, and it is of her being a superhero. before they reunite, mike talking about el references her powers - and during their fight about 'i love you', mike references it again, which turns out to be a mistake.

so a fact about m!leven established in season 2: the two can survive long distance. the subsequent dismantling of this so-called fact in season 4: the two cannot, in fact, survive long distance.

season 3: "m!leven is a classic teenage relationship!"

milkvans clown on bylers for saying that a teenage relationship is genuinely "toxic", and i will say that for season 3, this critique of byler analysis is valid. why do i say this? because in season 3, the "toxicity" of m!leven is compared to lumax, who we are supposed to take seriously in season 4.

both couples are mostly played for comedy in season 3 - teenage relationships that are not taken seriously for a reason.

their "breakup" isn't real. max compares it to her several breakups with lucas, and we're supposed to laugh it off.

the most serious tension between mike and el's relationship is the fact that mike hasn't said 'i love you' to her face yet - something which is not that serious in a teenage relationship, and is, in fact, played for laughs.

the only time it is truly taken seriously is at the end of season 3 when el says that she has heard mike say it, and she kisses him. leading him to make this face of absolute delight...

...leading into season 4, which deconstructs all these dismissals of m!leven's relationship.

firstly, mike's inability to say 'i love you' to el's face is no longer played as comedy - it is one of the primary tensions within their relationship. he can't write it in a letter and he can't say it to her face, even when el pretty much explicitly asks for it.

i think another layer of tension between the two is that mike still treats it as a teenage relationship, but el needs more than that. mike can sit down and seriously apologise - we see him do it with will. but in this scene, mike's approach to el lacks any subtlety that we know he can have (and we know finn can do as well).

to me, that is the biggest juxtaposition between lumax and m!leven in the jump from season 3 to season 4. lucas and max have a serious conversation from the get-go. despite their miscommunication, both of them take the relationship seriously, even if it makes them act differently. they switch between being silly teenagers into taking their relationship seriously - mike and el can't.

until...

ah yes, the love confession. let's talk about it.

on the surface, that completes the arc, right? he said 'i love you' to el to her face and we can all go home now? even if we take the love confession at complete face value, ignoring what i believe are lies and straight up piggybacking from will's monologue, i have two problems with that.

firstly, as many have pointed out - where's the conversation after? the two of them barely interact after this scene, except for when el is leaning her head on mike's shoulder in the hospital. if they are endgame, you would normally get this big, dramatic scene, and then a quieter, more private scene with the two of them with mike confirming everything he said with apologies, and a kiss between the two of them. instead, we get mike telling will that she's barely talked to him since they got back to hawkins. the arc is not over.

secondly - and this may be more of a personal opinion - but weird time for that arc to end. within the season, sure, but within the show?if i was writing the endgame ship, i would save the dramatic love confession for the final scene of the show, not the season. have the troubles last for one more season, and get that satisfying resolution in el's final fight, and make the first 'i love you' mean that much more. you get me?

all of that to say... it isn't over yet. we have proof that mike can say 'i love you' to el in the dramatic moments, but can he say 'i love you' and mean it in the quiet moments too?

overall, season 3 presents m!leven as a classic teenage relationship. season 4 shows that they can't be anything more.

let's go back to the beginning.

season 1: "m!leven is like a first love!"

season 1 is the best stranger things season because, unlike the other seasons, it had nothing to prove. the fact that it works as a standalone season allowed it to become a cultural sensation almost overnight.

that is also why it is harder to talk about when discussing intentional overarching arcs. while i'm sure the duffers had a plan for the show's potential renewal, they also had to keep in mind that it could've been a one-season wonder. that being said, there were things established - and there is no better place to look than the montauk show bible - aka, the pitch booklet for the original show. so from the beginning, were they established to be like a first love?

"if mike is the elliot of our show, eleven is our e.t."

obviously, this comparison isn't exactly the most romantic. while an initial pitch, this parallel is seen in the final product with mike hiding el and eventually dressing her up. but maybe this is unfair, because the booklet also says...

"he has never had a first kiss, much less a girlfriend...he will discover a courage he didn't know he had. by the end, he will even kiss a girl."

i do think that even within a potential one-season show, there was an intention of portraying an awkward but cute first kiss and first relationship. i will note, however, that nancy's description explicitly says, "with [jonathan's] help, she will experience love for the first time", saying the l-word that mike's description is missing.

in season 4, the love confession begins with references to season 1.

"i feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods...and i knew right then and there, in that moment, that i loved you"

this feels like a complete retcon of reality - which is crazy because in season 1, there are other better m!leven moments that can be referenced? their first kiss, mike giving his watch, mike doing el's makeup, el coming out in the dress and mike calling her pretty for the first time...

then they show the moment - and mike does not look in love.

this is the only flashback they show. compare that to max's several flashbacks with lucas when she is trying to escape vecna, and that seems purposeful.

your first thought might be "well, it was easier for mike to say the first time he saw her because love at first sight". but that's exactly it - he said what was easy to say. he didn't actually put the most effort into thinking of the real first time he fell in love with her - which is also a problem, because that shouldn't be an effort. he should just know.

i don't think mike was deliberately lying. el clearly needed someone to say something, and will was encouraging him to say something. love at first sight is a well-known trope...and that's the problem. if he's inventing a narrative for what their relationship looks like, it's an easy thing to sprinkle in because it's his idea of an ideal relationship.

max didn't fall in love with lucas at first sight, and neither did nancy and jonathan or joyce and hopper. it's okay if el and mike didn't fall in love at first sight - but the fact that mike says it when it is factually untrue is meaningful.

so, unlike the other seasons, season 4 is the season that tells us that mike and el are each other's first loves, fated at first sight - but if we go back to season 1, it shows us that they did not fall in love at first sight. if mike isn't telling the truth there, what else is he lying about?

[elllisaaa]

in ur last svt post (which made me fold btw) you mentioned you love doing bf thoughts (and we love reading them!!) so i’m gonna be the one to do it… any dirty bf!wonwoo headcanons sweetie? 🫣

not me dropping two wonwoo asks in one day like i’m not hansol biased i’m gonna run away 🏃‍♀️ he’s so husband material tho (getting back into my svt phase is fun 🙂‍↕️)

lmaoo honestly it's valid being whipped for wonwoo, i am too even though i'm a seokmin and chan girlie (hansol is coming at me these days though...)

BF!WONWOO who's a silent lover, but who loves you so much that everyone can see who smitten by you he is.

another member of seventeen that i think is a very good listener. wonwoo is always ready to listen to you when you need to talk, be that because something funny happened to you or because you had a bad day. and he's also really good at giving you advice when you have a problem. he strikes me as someone who's emotionally smart, so it isn't difficult for him to know that you're sad without you having to tell hims. sometimes he'll notice that you're not doing well and he will prepare you a little snack and deliver it with a kiss and a sweet "i love you, i'm here if you need to talk." that almost makes you tear up from how caring he is. also, wonwoo's hugs must feel incredibly good, like being engulfed in a warm bubble of love that's so soothing you immediately relax in his embrace. you could literally spend your whole life hugging him because it's genuinely the best feeling in the world.

"it's okay darling, i'm here now. everything is going to be alright."

wonwoo would love to play video games with you. it's good if you are already into it, but it would be even better if you don't because he would love to teach you how to play his favourite games. he would even use it as an excuse to make you sit on his lap while he's trying to show you how to play. from there, you would often play together, but it's also not rare for you to simply sit in wonwoo's lap and watch him play, or take a nap there, lulled to sleep by his breathing and heartbeat. one of his favourite ways to spend a date night at home with you is playing board games. you'd pick out one or two games together, make yourself some tea and prepare snacks and then you'll spend your night playing together. the members often joke about how the two of you are like an old couple but you don't care because what matters is that you're having fun during these game nights. also, wonwoo loves to just stay at home with you, all cozy in your matching pajamas and getting to see you all relaxed. he obviously loves it when you're dressing up when the two of you are going out, but you're the most beautiful to him with only a big beautiful smile on your face.

"let's just watch a movie tonight, i don't want to see other people, only you."

he's adamant on reminding you of how beautiful you are every single day. and that's the way he says it that makes you blush - like it's the most natural thing ever and that it's obvious. however, when it's your turn to praise wonwoo, he gets shy and bashful, and you literally have to fight him to get him to accept the compliment. but wonwoo loves your insistence on adoring him and he loves the attention - he's down bad for you, but it's good to know that you're down bad for him as well. he would often take photos of you without you noticing when he thinks you look particularly pretty. he won't show these pictures to you, but he has folder of them on his phone and on his computer too, and he looks at them when he's away from you and that he misses you. wonwoo would put all these secret photos into a pretty album he made and decorated himself, and he would gift it to you for your anniversary. overall, he would gift you a lot of mindful things like these, and you keep all of them in a little box under your bed.

"when did you take this one nonu ?" - "when we went to the botanical garden, you were so pretty that day."

BF!WONWOO who's a service top and who loves to please you, but who can also get a little bit mean when he wants to.

wonwoo definitely loves cockwarming with you. when you sit on his lap while he's playing video games, it's not impossible that he'll end up pushing your panties to the side and slipping his cock inside of you, not moving at all. he just loves the intimacy of it, how much you trust him and relax into his touch immediately. but it's impossible to not get hard when your pussy feels this wet and this warm, nor when you're sometimes clenching around him. wonwoo usually gives up pretty quickly, because he loves the feeling as much as you. most of the time, he would grip your hips and help you drop down on his cock slowly until the both of you cum. but when he's feeling more needy, he would bend you over his desk and fuck you rough from behind until you're screaming his name. but sometimes, you can stay like this for a long time, even managing to fall asleep because it feels so warm and safe to be so close to him. it's the way you feel so comfortable around him that gets him going mostly.

"just sit on my cock for while baby, then i'll fuck you, okay ?"

overall, wonwoo just loves to please you in every way he can. he's inflexible about foreplay because he loves to have you cumming at least once before he fucks you - his girl should get as much orgasms as possible because you only deserve the best. he woul often keep his glasses on while eating you out, because even if it's the most comfortable for him, he knows how crazy you go when he looks up at you through the fogged lenses and how hot you think he is when he has them on. wonwoo prefers positions where he can see your face as he fucks you, so missionary is a must with him. he loves to see your face contort when you're close to the edge, and he loves to watch you as he brings you to your orgasm - your pretty expressions and the sounds you make often enough to trigger his own release. again, he loves how close he can be to you in this position, chest and forehead pressed against each other's, whispering praises and love confessions against your lips while he ruts his hips into you deep.

"you're so pretty darling… so fucking pretty like this."

despite him being very romantic, he also knows how much you like it when he shows you how strong he is. wonwoo would definitely manhandle you into bending over for him if that's what you want - and he's not gonna lie by saying that he doesn't like it when you become all putty in his hands because he's holding your hands firmly behind your back. it's quite good for his ego too to hear you gush about how attractive he is, how hot his strength and his muscles are. wonwoo also uses it to his advantage when you've been a little tease or that he's frustrated. all these hours spent at the gym are worth it when it allows him to hold you down against the mattress while he pounds into you until you're crying out his name and that tears are running down your face. of course, he's always mindful of any signs of discomfort when he's rougher, but you both love it when wonwoo doesn't hold back and ruins you. it feels rewarding to know that he can make his girl scream his name so loud that the neighbors complain the next day.

"i'm not gonna let you go until you're dripping baby, i need to have you again."

[erinwantstowrite]

what do you like to hc about tim drakes childhood? like I remember you mentioning something about him stalking the bats at night being fun (I think) but what about his parents and stuff? And like just tim hc in general I guess:)

i loooove the hc that tim was stalking the bats as a kid. Mostly because it's funny as hell, and that it makes sense for his character. With how he shows up in their lives, i wouldn't doubt that he had been watching them or keeping tabs on them somehow.

HOWEVER... I'm gonna be a little controversial... I don't like his parents being majorly abusive towards him. For starters, it's not canon and feels like a cop out sometimes for the way Tim is. He is a freaky little genius, and he's just Like That. I honestly don't think his parents had much imput on that part of his behavior. He just turned out Like That.

But!!! I also recognize that Tim was, in fact, abused. It was a while back and so i don't remember exactly which comic it was, but i'm pretty sure at some point after his mother's death, Tim and Jack started getting into arguments a lot and it felt pretty emotionally abusive with how Jack acted. And in canon, the fact that Tim was able to get away with like, literally everything he did, is because I imagine his parents weren't keeping an eye on him

That's not to say he wasn't taken care of- Tim had friends, he went to a boarding school (at least i'm pretty sure he did), he regularly interacted with people and he wasn't physically neglected in any way. Emotionally? That's where Tim wasn't getting his needs met. They were gone a lot for their archaeology studies and etc, and so I hc that Jack and Janet really only had a kid because they felt like it was the most natural progression for their marriage, not because they truly wanted one. They love Tim, don't get me wrong, but they were pretty distant with that love.

I also hc that Janet was closer to him before she died. I think her having health problems and being tired a lot would make it harder for her to connect with Tim when she's actually home, but she would make an effort and keep an eye on how he's doing at school and with his friends. She has the healthier relationship with him, but Tim might not know if it's because she was that good, or if it was because she was never around to have fights with.

Jack also loves Tim (as evidenced by the fact that when Jack is finally seeing Tim on a daily basis, he takes notes of Tim's behavior and schedule, and he figures out Tim's identity as Robin. AND the fact that he sent a search party for Tim during that time Gotham was blocked off from the rest of the world and etc). I also think he takes pride in the fact that Tim is so smart and good with people. But I give him that flavor of father that doesn't exactly know how to put that into words or actions, and just expects Tim to know it. There's also the fact that when Jack was alive, there was some emotionally manipulative conversations about Robin, Tim's life, etc. Jack might have been doing these things as a scared parent and wasn't aware that this was what he was doing, but it was in fact still pretty fucked up and I'm sure it left a lasting mark on Tim

So in Tim's eyes, they never really talk about "I love you" and stuff, because his parents didn't really feel the need to say it out loud. I think they're not the mushy type or overtly affectionate.

But, you know. Tim's a kid. And as smart as he is (we'll get to that in a second), a kid who doesn't hear "I love you" often might... wonder. Because they're never home and he's always at school, and he only really gets validation from them when he excels at school or with higher society. (I'm pretty sure in the comics, Tim wasn't as high society as fanon makes him out to be, but I like the idea of Tim being a little higher up there because it adds to that air of distance and reputation.) Him learning "I love you" means "I love you, but from over here", makes sense for how Tim is. He loves his people, but unless prompted to say it, he sort of assumes people get what he means, sometimes. Not all the time, because Tim has had interaction with friends (I'll say it again, fanon lovers: Tim has friends both as a vigilante AND as a civilian, he is not isolated from the world), he's not oblivious to the fact that sometimes it needs to be said. He's probably much better at it than his parents.

That goes to say, though, that I think Tim also isn't the type to delve really deep into his emotions. Not outwardly, anyway. He's just like his parents, after all. I'd think he HATES being vulnerable. ANY sort of expression of weakness or failure gets amplified in his mind and he takes that on like "I am now the worst." He sees his love for both friends and family as something to give, to offer, and likes being useful in that love. "I love you, from here, and loving from over here means I have to give things." I think he hates crying in front of people, and if Tim is crying in front of you it's either REALLY, REALLY bad, or he just trusts you THAT much. In the comics, Tim says that he doesn't know his worth outside of being Robin. (More proof DC needs to let him MOVE ON FROM ROBIN!!) He sees himself as being his most useful, and most cared about, and most able TO care about others, when he is Robin. That's why he's so confident in his role as Robin, why he told Jason (not a direct quote) "I actually am better than you, bitch" when they fought at Titan's Tower. Robin is the best of Tim, someone who can't make failures, who was taught by Batman and seen as useful by people he respects a lot. (He also wouldn't dare make any besmirch on Robin's name for Dick's sake. Because that's his hero and big brother.)

And now to get to how smart Tim is, and why I love the hc that he stalked the Bats as a kid so much:

All of these headcanons for his family history helps fit into the most canon version of Tim, imo, and doesn't dull the fact that Tim is clever as hell. Tim was neglected by his parents, for sure. But he still was watched. He had supervision, they have rules at these boarding schools. Tim is the type to get around those rules and sneak out whenever he wants. Maybe it started as something to do to get his parents attention, but no one ever caught him because Tim was so good at escaping. And then he starts seeing the Bats and the hobby evolves from there. He goes Batwatching and no one at school is any the wiser about it. He gets photos and knows their patrol routes, he gets good at parkouring around Gotham and ups his stamina (I think while Tim might not be the strongest or the most flexible of the Bats, he'd the one with the most stamina and therefore, is the fastest fo them). No one even suspecting that Tim is gone at night, especially at a pricey boarding school with security and probably someone in charge of making sure kids at the dorms aren't doing anything stupid, makes Tim look a lot more clever and sneaky than a kid who just has to get around a camera at his family home.

And if you personally like Tim being at home more than at a school, and he actually is neighbors with the Waynes and therefore would have a pretty big house, his parents would 1000% have staff at the house. Bruce Wayne is strange for having only ONE staff member, Alfred, for a manor. The Drakes are well off CEOs that get to gallivanting around the world for their hobby, they know how to hire a whole bunch of people to take care of the big house they bought and "modernized." For large houses like that, you definitely need more than one person keeping an eye on it. So in this case, yeah, Tim would also be very clever to get around someone there at the house where there entire purpose for being there is watching the kid.

Tim stalking the Bats also just... Makes sense. Because I think Tim 1) broke into Titan's Tower BEFORE ever meeting Dick, 2) found out where Dick lives and met Kori there who was like "What???" 3) knew where the circus was when Dick went there to visit and investigate it, 4) figured out their identities in the first place. People often forget that with detective characters, you're gonna have one of their biggest traits be curiosity. You're telling me a really smart kid just found out the identities of Batman and Robin and he did nothing about that information until later? Baloney! For sure he was doing shit he wasn't supposed to! Tim Drake's biggest trait is also the fact that he has no self preservation instincts and is likely only still alive because 1) it'd disappoint/make Batman and Nightwing sad and 2) he's lucky as hell. Tim is a clever kid who likely thinks he's invicible based on survivor's bias or something like it. "Well of course I got out of that pickle, I'm not an idiot." Is probably his catchphrase

[tojisun]

sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au)

part of the ‘if fwb’ spinoff // simon riley x f!reader

johnny’s been… doubting, you see, about the validity of simon’s dating life.

like, for example, if he really was dating anyone.

simon looks content in a way that he never was before—intense eyes turned down towards his phone, unapproachable aura less angry but more settled, like he’s warding off people not because of his dislike but more so because he’s not available anymore.

not like he ever made himself available before, but it’s fundamentally different this time around; self-imposed walls brought down to make room for unbridled fulfillment.

he looks like he’s won the damn cup.

and that’s what makes johnny twitch—someone out there was just as, if not more, valued as the championship cup to simon, but he’s never introduced anyone to them.

not a picture nor an update nor even a PSA that they need to commission another WAG jacket for his partner because simon is tight-lipped about whoever it was he’s seeing. it’s not like he’s even dancing around the fact, it’s just that whoever it was he’s dating was never free.

not for a game nor a night-out nor a party. in simon’s house.

this level of secrecy was just unheard of. even the other men in the league who have a tight leash on their private lives still have living proof of their partners unlike simon who leaves it at, “she’s busy,” like that covers anything.

which is why johnny would like to go on record and say: he is totally valid for choosing to crash at simon’s place without letting him know.

he remembers getting wasted with the others, then refusing to be driven home, only to take a cab to simon’s place. he must have been coherent enough to remember the code for simon’s house, and was shockingly coordinated enough to even punch it in, but his memories begin to splinter there.

next thing johnny knows, he’s waking up, feeling like he’s been hit by a freight train. his tongue is heavy inside his mouth, the pungent taste of last night’s alcohol rising from the back of his throat like bile. he groans, blinking blurry eyes as he tries to remember where he’s at or what he’s done, only for nausea to wash over him so intensely he flops back down onto the bed—

he pats at the cushioning.

—onto the sofa then.

by the devil, what did he do last night? got him drinking like he’s got a new liver to replace this one he fucked with.

christ. he needs water, or a whole bottle of mouthwash, honestly.

“mactavish?”

johnny jumps, twisting his head to the side at the call of his name. it’s simon, of course it is, but he looks dishevelled, unkempt in a way that looks criminal because—johnny roves his eyes over his friend—who the hell looks that good when they’ve just woken up?

simon looks like he can be the next cover of inside fitness; give tyler fucking seguin a run for his own money.

“wha’,” is all johnny gets to say because he starts sputtering, dizziness hitting him intensely again. he gags, and only has enough mind to cover his mouth with his fist.

“jesus– down the hall. go,” simon barks and johnny warbles his thanks before locking himself in the guest bathroom.

.

johnny comes back out to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and melted butter wafting through. simon did say he had a problem with his kitchen vents which made cooking a problem, but johnny sure isn’t complaining right now. although, he supposes that it is a whole different problem when it’s steak or some ribs that simon’s firing up.

oh well, johnny thinks, scratching his side as he ambles to the island, pointedly quiet because simon might kick him out before breakfast is even done.

simon eyes him with a muted approval and johnny grins because, hey, he just secured free breakfast.

he’s about to break the silence, to apologize once more he guesses, when the sounds of padded feet descending from the stairs leading up to simon’s lavishly decorated—sarcasm intended—second floor pierces through the silence.

johnny’s back straightens, his exhausted mind clicking awake.

he turns to his friend but simon’s already angled towards the kitchen door, facing away from johnny. he looks relaxed, previous half-bareness now covered up with a thin white shirt, and johnny doesn’t know why he missed it but simon looks like a perfect picture of a boyfriend fixing up breakfast post-coitus.

“jesus–” johnny begins to say, the pieces linking because yeah, simon’s never denied that he’s been doing some dating around and it’s just johnny’s drunken whim to assume that the most talented ice hockey player of this decade was lying about his relationship status and—good lord, that’s a fucking person diving in simon’s arms, alright.

johnny watches, with his mouth agape, as simon and the mystery woman talk to each other in hushed whispers, his friend having to bend forward to make up for the height difference.

johnny watches, like the third-wheel he is, as simon laughs, actual quiet chuckles and not that children-crying-in-terror-inducing cackle, before nuzzling his nose over your own, and breathing you in.

johnny watches the quiet kiss, just lips pecking each other, and it’s all so soft and tender and johnny feels really, really bad that he didn’t get to give simon and his girl the privacy you two surely deserve and—

your eyes open, flitting to him because johnny is sure that he’s standing out amidst what must be a normally empty kitchen. he doesn’t even get to count three seconds before you’re screaming, lurching out of simon’s hold and hiding behind his bulk in your terror.

simon, screw him, seems to not have cared that johnny was privy to such an intimate moment and just turns enough to catch your attention again before murmuring reassurances. he says things like, “mactavish? the punk ass who got his hair shaved for the new season only to realize no one’s actually gon’ see it because of the helmet? remember?”

“what,” johnny chokes out, embarrassed that that’s what simon told you about and not, like, his player number or something.

“oh,” you gasp out anyway, clearly having heard of the shaved-sides and using it as a marker for johnny. “oh!”

you dance away from behind simon to make your way to johnny, your previous embarrassment gone from your gait. he’s so sure, though, that he’s seen you from somewhere, but the thought’s dashed out of his mind when you chirp, “you’re my best friend’s favourite player!”

“yeah?” johnny replies, gaining his confidence back.

“yeah! she won’t stop showing me the highlights of your guys’ game against that big german fella an’ his team!”

johnny laughs, his own giddiness ramping up. he remembers that game, alright. he remembers the miracle play during the final period when price was able to score an empty-netter. he remembers how, in his adrenaline-induced ecstasy, johnny turned to the player to his side, konig, and laughed in his face.

johnny made headlines then, and he’s saved every single one. his fiancee even printed a copy of her favourite shot and stuck it in her wallet.

(“for good luck,” she said with a wink, like johnny doesn’t have his prick twitching in her fist.)

“well, y’got anything for me to sign for her?”

“uhh…”

“guess you can use that one group photo our marketing team gave to us,” simon finally pipes up, and johnny turns, surprise lining his face at seeing the rich spread of breakfast.

he didn’t even notice simon setting up the table, too engrossed in the high that came from reliving the memory of laughing at konig’s face which resulted to him being pushed into the glass protector by a protective horangi.

not even that had dampened johnny’s elation then and now.

“oh yeah. thanks!” you say to simon before you run out.

you’re barely out of their eyesights when johnny turns to simon with a grin.

“what.”

“oh, you fucken’ sap!” johnny sings because he’s still too hungover to come up to simon and playfully punch him. “and why were ye hidin’ lassie?”

simon grumbles something as he turns, pretending to busy himself with the now-empty coffee pot.

“wha’s’at?”

“i said,” simon begins, heaving out a sigh. “that we jus’ became official last week.”

“oh, shit,” johnny whispers sagely. he blinks. “so, uh, who’s the one you’ve been callin’ yer girl?”

“oh fuck off johnny,” simon hisses, sputtering, before throwing the tea towel at him.

“what now!?” johnny yelps, ducking away from the soaring towel. “what’d i do now–” he gasps, realization dawning on him. “you didn’t.”

simon looked like he was going to say something but by then you were running back with the photo and a marker pen, telling him your friend’s name—alessandra, “or sandy!”—for johnny to sign.

while johnny’s busy practicing his signature on a scrap of newspaper that simon gave to him, he pretends not to hear the giggly whispers between his friend and his friend’s new but longtime-pining-for girlfriend.

“and me? why aren’t you asking f’r my signature?”

“oh ‘cuz y’r mine.”

johnny dutifully ignores the lips smacking sounds as he finally signs the picture, making sure to add devil horns on simon’s head.

serves him right.

i just. love fluff and hockey au sm 😞

[silverwarewolf]

DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS

Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!

GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.

Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).

Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.

That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD

... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)

no comment here I just love them.

I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3

This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)

I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.

Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.

(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)

BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL

1) Yep, they're back to normal.

2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.

3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.

4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!

5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3

I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.

IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?

"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)

I get it, girl.

Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.

(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)

Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"

Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.

(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)

FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.

oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm

I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!

Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.

I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)

... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.

BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)

Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!

[oodearest]

I’ve found myself back into Naruto after being somewhat indifferent to the end of Shippuden. Was not a huge fan of that final arc.

Anyways I remember initially being annoyed and/or disappointed with some of Sasuke’s actions towards the end of the series. Don’t get me started on him immediately trying to fight Naruto after they ended an entire WAR. Grrr!!

But I’m able to articulate better why I found the whole ‘let’s get Sasuke back’ rhetoric in Shippuden so frustrating. This might get long so bear with me, might as well format this as a zany essay while I’m at it.

Mission get Sasuke back — The terrible, no good experience of having your trauma ignored

It’s been a while so I could be wrong, but I feel like team 7 never address how absolutely valid Sasuke’s desire to leave is? Kakashi touches on it when he tries to reason with Sasuke pre-defection but I don’t think it ever got through.

In Sakura and Naruto’s case, they want him back, they say they want to be a team again, but none of them ever considers his perspective?

The inherent racism against the Uchiha

Their approach is pretty tone deaf honestly. Sasuke’s a victim of violence. His people were massacred. At the start of the series it’s only been like 5 years since it happened. Sasuke has no one. He also can’t trust anyone. Prior to the massacre the village ostracised them and feared them. In Sasuke’s lifetime, the village has never been welcoming to his identity as an Uchiha.

To top it all off this hatred was incited YEARS earlier by non other than the village’s own second Hokage. It’s pretty vile how much passive and oftentimes—straight up overt—racism is directed towards the Uchiha and no one ever calls it out?

Honestly after Sasuke learns the truth from Itachi, why would he ever feel at peace in the village again? How could he ever return there knowing what they allowed? Does he even fit in there? Did he belong in the first place?

The loneliness of processing his people’s oppresion

These are some complex issues. Sasuke starts tackling them at 12 when he first leaves and only really process it by the end of the war. He spends his adolescence seeking revenge, when he gets it he spends the remainder of the series grieving. He’s mourning, he’s searching for the truth, he’s trying to grasp anything tangible in this awful world he’s inhabiting.

I cannot stress how MAD I get when Sakura and Naruto are like come back, we miss you, what about our bond 🥺 Like guys priorities?? Sasuke is single-handedly tackling systematic corruption and discrimination, give him a minute.

All things considered, he handles those issues in lik four years. He’s pretty efficient.

Overall I don’t think Sasuke’s problem was ever about losing his morals or succumbing to rage. That played a role of course. But the crux of his issue was him fighting for himself, his people and getting justice for something that was largely brushed aside.

I think it’s disappointing that we don’t see more support from team 7 or the village. No rage on Sasuke’s behalf? Not even a brief acknowledgment that the previous leadership was cooked and unfortunately dropped the ball on protecting his people.

Does forgiveness even apply here?

Naruto is a series about forgiveness and redemption. Which can be so beautiful. However I get the sense they want Sasuke to move on from anger and that’s so not possible given what he experienced. There’s a reason reparations is a big part of reconciliation. Konoha was never going to do that under its current leadership.

Konoha is a system. If Sasuke opposes that system then it’s simply him paving a better way for himself. I don’t get why that concept is hard for them to understand. This village is so cooked that the Sannin peaced out of there as soon as they could. Didn’t even come back post Kyuubi attack.

Naruto is a forgiving character, but as someone who also got done dirty by the village it’s sad that he didn’t understand why Sasuke couldn’t drop all of his grief and plans, to simply return to being one of Konoha’s soldiers.

Anyways there’s a lot of nuance missing here that I didn’t go into detail about. Sasuke objectively did some horrible things. Shippuden is him processing trauma realtime, it’s not a surprise that he’s messy, raw and self-destructive. I switch between being so frustrated with him then feeling so sad about his circumstances.

They could never make me form a one-dimensional opinion on you Sasuke! You’re worth thousands of think pieces.

[lu-is-not-ok]

A Narcissistic reading of Hong Lu

Yup, I'm actually doing this.

To lay down some facts first: I have NPD, alongside a bunch of other things that coalesce into a nuclear concoction strong enough to kill every dark empath in a five mile radius. If I find you ableisting it up, I give myself the permission to smite you. This is a threat and a warning.

Now, let's talk about Hong Lu. Because as it turns out, he might just be the most difficult literacy check in Limbus Company according to what I've seen.

I could just say "I'm a narcissist and Hong Lu is just like me fr fr so he's a narcissist too" and end the post, but honestly, where's the fun in that? There are, legitimately, things I want to yap about, so I'm going to yap about them, and no chucklefucks can stop me.

So, to start this off, let's make one thing clear.

Hong Lu is not only a good actor, but also a skilled liar. The way he navigates conversations and the methods he uses are just as important to analyze as the actual words he says, if not more so. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that trying to understand him based Only on what he says and not how he uses the things he says would result in an understanding that's not only incomplete, but potentially outright wrong.

Now, this isn't really tied to why I think Hong Lu could be very reasonably read as having NPD, at least not directly. Narcissists aren't inherently evil liar manipulators, and if that's what you take away from this post, that's more of a you problem (and you can go ahead and block me considering I'm one of the evil liar manipulator narcissists according to you).

However, there is a reason why I have to bring it up. And it's because almost all of Hong Lu's narcissistic traits become a lot more obvious once you look at the exact ways he takes control of conversations.

With that out of the way, what exactly are we even looking for?

NPD, in my experience, primarily affects one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I personally found that the analogy of a pendulum makes the most sense to me - a narcissist's sense of self-worth can swing between massive highs and massive lows, almost never staying in a middle "balanced" position, with even the tiniest things being able to throw it to one side or another.

The ways this can present outwardly are. Quite frankly, way too fucking many to count. But there are some common threads we can keep in mind:

High sensitivity to criticism

Need for an external source of validation

Tendency to seek out ways to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful

So, does Hong Lu fit those criteria?

Well. Yeah. This post wouldn't exist if he didn't.

Let's talk about the first point, high sensitivity to criticism. And, immediately, I would like everyone to remember Hell's Chicken, specifically the scene where Meursault begins to verbally roast his team's dish, and in the process laying down a verbal smackdown on everyone involved. That scene ended like this.

Curious, isn't it? The moment Meursault was about to start criticising Hong Lu, he just jumps in and distracts Meursault with a change of topic - something even Dante's narration points out.

Mind you, this isn't an isolated event. This is just the most obvious example of Hong Lu exhibiting this kind of behavior.

Don't believe me? Just look at these.

These are all examples of Hong Lu either backpedaling, changing the subject, or otherwise trying to avoid the acknowledgement of something that criticizes his status, thought process, or (in the last example) which would reveal an emotional vulnerability.

This is a fairly consistent pattern for him, and that's not even getting into the fact that the line he says when hovering over him before a skill check he has a Very Low chance at succeeding in has him suddenly try to excuse himself and leave.

Hong Lu is absolutely highly sensitive to criticism, it's just that his primary emotional reactions aren't ones we're privy to. Instead, what we get to see is how he acts to try and minimize the impact of those criticisms, if not outright find ways to never let them leave someone's mouth in the first place.

Next up - need for external validation.

This one doesn't have as many examples as the previous point, as Hong Lu is a generally closed off person who keeps a certain level of distance from most other Sinners. However, that doesn't mean I don't have any.

One such example comes from Canto 4, where soon after acting out his part in the play, Hong Lu seeks validation from Yi Sang.

Then there's this moment in Canto 6, where Hong Lu, once again, seeks validation for something he's done.

And then there's also these lines from Hong Lu's various Identities.

Aaaand then there's these base Identity voice lines, which, if you ask me, feel a bit like fishing for compliments.

This point is a lot harder to say is a definitive one, mainly due to Hong Lu's more closed off projected personality. That being said, the fact that one can find examples of it despite that is pretty notable.

And for the final one - trying to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful.

This is one that's a bit harder to provide exact examples for, as again, Hong Lu isn't someone who talks about how he feels often, and when he does it's not always exactly trustworthy. He's not like Rodya, who while still putting on a facade, is pretty open and easy to read about how she actually feels.

But, there's still some non-mutually exclusive interpretations I want to posit here. Two, in fact.

One - I believe that for Hong Lu, the thing he sees as power is control.

See, avoiding criticism isn't the only time Hong Lu steers conversations. In fact, it's something he does All The Time. He's often the one asking questions to get the group moving, trying to gather information that might be relevant to him, and generally taking over the direction a conversation is going in. Chances are, if Hong Lu speaks up, it's likely to alter the conversation he joins in noticeable ways.

This, I think, is one of the ways Hong Lu makes himself feel more powerful. After all, it's not that hard to guess from what little bits of his background we have that Hong Lu lacked agency for most of his life. So, wouldn't it make sense for him that having that agency, that being able to be socially in control, would be the exact kind of thing that would boost his self-esteem?

In fact, the only times we see him rendered completely speechless, seemingly stripped of that confidence in conversations he usually exhibits, are in Canto 7 - specifically in scenes where he's Not In Control of what the others are talking about. Those scenes being when the other Sinners start shit-talking Xichun in front of him, and when Xichun actively tries to bother Hong Lu by alluding to the way he's been treated back at home.

Extremely confident until something external happens that utterly strips him of that confidence... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Then, there's the second interpretation.

See, with NPD, there are two ways a narcissist can try to make themself feel more deserving of attention. One is the one most probably think of when they think about narcissists - setting out to fulfill extremely high goals to feel amazing when one reached them and then feeling utterly crushed in the case one doesn't. This would be someone like Rodya.

However, there is also another way, one which I personally have much more experience with - to undersell. To set extremely low expectations, so that it's as hard as possible to fail reaching them, and to feel way better upon surpassing them than one would with higher, more "regular" expectations.

This, to me, is exactly the kind of narcissist Hong Lu is. Think about it. He's constantly putting out this image of an extremely sheltered person that barely understands the outside world, with notable moments where it's made clear he's Just Making Shit Up at points. Wouldn't making one seem unable to do anything, only to then proceed to do things you've led people to not expect of you, make it feel like you're much more exceptional than you really are?

The underselling goes the other way too. When the other Sinners point out something odd about Hong Lu in a more positive way, he's often quick to point out how it's Nothing compared to what his Family expected of him. Wouldn't that make one feel exceptional, to make it seem like whatever effort you're putting in to do well is but a fraction of what else you can do? That you don't even have to try to be able to be special?

...So, there. That's all the analysis and interpretation I find important to do to get my point across.

Just to make it clear, I don't think that the only thing wrong with Hong Lu is the narcissism. There's definitely a lot more shit going on in that head of his. But, I'll be honest, the NPD reading felt so obvious to me that it genuinely took me by surprise that other people don't see it.

Though... maybe I shouldn't be shocked. Some fuckers out there still think Faust is a narcissist when she's literally just autistic.

[ann-lol]

Fitz’s flaw isn’t that he has anger issues or even a temper. Every time he expressed anger it was for very valid reasons that involved loosing a family member, being forced to live with a person who has hurt the people he cares about, and not being able to be with the person he loves due to social norms. Fitz’s actual flaw is that he has a psychological defense mechanism called displaced anger, which can be brought about by childhood trauma and the overwhelming pressure to be perfect. His displaced anger causes him to direct his anger at people who aren’t necessarily the source of the problem.

This has even been acknowledged in the books by many characters, such as Alden, Keefe and even Fitz himself. Granted it's never stated plainly as "displaced anger" but it's heavily implied that they notice he tends to direct his anger at one person in particular. Sophie, unfortunately, tends to be that person. His displaced anger can, in some ways, be slightly harmful to Sophie especially her mental state because she has shown signs of traumatic responses to his anger. For example, in Nightfall, when Mr. Forkle revealed to everyone that he had a twin, Sophie was relieved that Fitz was directing all his anger at Mr. Forkle instead of at her, even though Fitz would have no reason to direct his anger at her in the first place. I’m ashamed to admit that old-me would probably bash Fitz like a crazy person for this but being more mature and seeing the nuance in the situation I can’t help but wanna hug them both.

They both have their own ways of coping with their situations and they’re all valid. Fitz especially has shown a great amount of change already in the recent book, so much so that he even seems to be forcing himself to be okay with certain things that Sophie has done, even though he honestly doesn't need to be. Like Sophie getting with his best friend only a few weeks/months after they’ve broken up. Sophie even admitted that she’d also be very angry and hurt if Fitz did the same thing. I'm going a little off track here but bottom line is that Fitz does not have anger issues or a temper. He never did. He has a psychological defense mechanism which is his displaced anger. Spread the word!

[pankielovesfan]

ii16 spoilers under cut

(Analysis of what the episode implies/means for Fan more specifically)

HELLO. SO. I kind of predicted this.

These are specifically about Fan glitching in episode 14, and about PEOPLE OVERLOOKING IT!!! I always KNEW there was something more to it.

Fan glitching is both similar to Springy's glitching, but also the Shield and Tree Mephone made. So automatically I thought, Mephone generated Fan. He can generate things! But, I honestly did not expect this to be true. It felt too easy. (so i instead went with; when mephone regenerates the contestants they are "built" out of his code, so close at least....?) But. Well. You saw the episode. And I am a sucker for these tropes and I have been incredibly interested in what this means for Fan specifically, considering he was made SPECIFICALLY to be a fan of Inanimate Insanity.

Here's me talking about the idea about a month ago:

As we all know, Fan's entire character is that he's a fan. That's the number 1 obvious thing. He was another "stereotype" as labeled by Mephone along with the other season 2 newbies. For almost every character it has been repeated that they are "more than what they are", which makes even more sense with the reveal. However, with this knowledge... What the Flip does this mean for Fan.

His entire arc has always been about his identity problems, and his extreme attachment to his identity as the #1 fan, which he STILL latches onto and puts so much of his confidence in. Almost like that... IS his purpose. Is everything he's ever known. All he had. But that was not only an emotional thing, he was quite literally created just to be the biggest Inanimate Insanity fan. That's his ACTUAL purpose. WHICH IS NOW MAKING ME CRAZY.

With this in mind, you realize how Fan being created is actually hidden in his arc. The writing doesn't make you consider the possibility, because the arc and personality work so well to hide it. This is shown most well once the prime shimmer asks him what he is beyond the show, to which he hesitates to respond to, saying he doesn't know. This whole scene is now in a completely new perspective to me. He ACTUALLY doesn't know. His identity literally IS built around the show, that's what he was made to be. That's all he's ever been.

I had mentioned Fan having parallels to Bot.

Something along the lines of this. Your identity being One Thing but then realizing you can be more than that, that's the main parallel here. WHICH- IS EVEN MORE INSANE CONSIDERING THIS EPISODE NOW. Fan was ALSO made with a purpose to be ONE thing, Fan (and Test Tube) was quite literally repeating the same thing Mephone did- the same thing that happened to them, but even more so with Fan specifically.

The one thing I keep thinking about is how Inanimate Insanity is still a big part of Fan's life. That's still something he loves so much and ties to his identity even with his development of trying new things. How would he react when he realizes he's forever tied to the show he was made to love? That he's forever attached to Inanimate Insanity, no matter what?? HE WAS MADE BY MEPHONE, THE HOST OF HIS FAVOURITE SHOW THAT HIS ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS FOR?? THAT HIS LOVE IS GENERATED? Compared to other contestants, Fan is... even more stuck in the show. He literally surrounds himself with it even when outside of it. Honestly was Mephone projecting when he created Fan or something???

Fan describing him being eliminated as literally dying is kind of even more tragic now. sad!

His whole reality would be shattered if he found out. I don't think he'd have time to think: "wow I'm actually EXISTING for Inanimate Insanity and that actually IS my purpose? and I AM truly the number 1 fan because that's what my entire identity actually IS built on????" While that would validate him and help his insecurities, Fan would be. Well. When your entire person is created to be passionate and dedicated to the thing you were created FOR and you even made prior appearances JUST to serve as the fanbase and nothing more. I don't even know dude. He'd be in so much denial over it. He'd start to question the sincerity of his love, or, something. At least he's made with the things he loves: creative passion. Which he was also made to love . but whatever,

You'd probably think he'd at some point try to separate even more from Inanimate Insanity. Honestly I think the opposite. after his initial denial i believe he'd latch onto it even HARDER. I think he'd just start regressing to old coping mechanisms to deal with it.

The fact he was created FOR the purpose of being ONLY THE FAN Also makes me realize something about him and Test Tube. On one of his tumblr posts he mentions how Test Tube introduced him to so many new things and ideas he had no idea he could be so excited about, because he's always been just tied to Inanimate Insanity and nothing beyond that, as he felt there was nothing else to care about. Test Tube offers the support of opportunities, even as early as when they first met, and especially in Hatching the Plan once she made him realize there was more out there.

It just makes me go completely insane how most of Fan's arc is so built on the fact his entire existence is to serve as a fan, and that wasn't even just an emotional thing or whatever he quite literally felt like he was nothing but a fan. I need to sit down. or draw art inspired by this cause good god. Hey fan you're basically made from technology the thing you really love! haahaa... at least that love comes from a real place right? I mean. In short. Fan is just... made out of what he loves.

[firelxdykatara]

what bugs me about azula redemption discourse is the fact that people genuinely think azula lied that zuko killed the avatar to show she cares for him. if she cared about him, she wouldve had the courtesy to warn him instead of blindsinding him during the meeting. That just added to his anxiety and while her fears of what ozai would do if her if she disappointed him are validated by ozai's actions, that gives her no right at all to knowingly put her own brother in the position. she literally said, "you can't treat me like zuko!" in the finale, which says a lot about how aware she was of how zuko was treated, and the fact that she recognized that that's not how she would like to be treated.

Oh yeah, this is a pretty wide-spread problem in the atla fandom in general but I notice a lot of it in specific azula-stanning (and usually zuko-hating) corners, where it's like 'Azula never even really did anything bad and how dare people call her one of Zuko's abusers for sibling rivalry stuff' as if gleefully crowing to your brother that your father is going to kill him or watching with a smirk of satisfaction as your father brutalizes him is all just 'normal sibling rivalry stuff'. Nevermind what came later, like actually trying to kill him.

So we end up with this kind of discourse that relies on making up a bunch of stuff that honestly doesn't make sense nor fit in with what we do know of these characters and the situation, but because they can do enough mental gymnastics to make her out to be The Real Victim Here then anyone who doesn't agree just hates abuse victims or whatever.

The fact is, at its most charitable interpretation, Azula was bare minimum hedging her bets. Because this scene:

comes before Zuko's meeting with Ozai, where we hear this:

And then, as if that weren't enough, we have Azula herself admitting it:

I feel like a lot of Azula stans who insist she was just trying to help Zuko, that she cared for him and was just trying to help him return home with honor, missed this part of the conversation, or just conveniently forget about it when it comes to defending their fave. But while Azula initially claims she did it to help Zuko out of the goodness of her heart, she comes right out herself and says she doubts Zuko's conviction about the Avatar's death, and she doesn't want any blowback to fall on her if and when the Avatar eventually resurfaces.

She was, at bare minimum, covering her own ass, with little regard for how it would ultimately affect her brother (for whom she has little care or concern, according to how we see their relationship playing out). Lines like you can't treat me like Zuko help to highlight this, because while, yes, they are both victims of the same abusive parent, Azula also became an active agent in Zuko's abuse, and the realization that to their abuser they are both just as disposable even after everything she did for him within that framework is a huge part of what led to her complete psychological breakdown in the finale.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I know it would probably bring a lot of hate comments but I am begging you to roast the hazbin character designs because I'd love to have someone properly articulate why they don't work so I could send it to people who won't believe me when I tell them. 🫠 Understandable if you don't want to get into it though.

I don't think there's that much there to roast, honestly?

Those designs are clearly an extremely specific stylistic choice, and because that style is consistent throughout the show, it ultimately feels coherent with itself.

There are trade-offs being made. Because Hazbin's design style is SO stylized and so heavy on decoration and detailing, because it puts a lot of emphasis on costuming, it isn't as good at communicating specific character storytelling as a more grounded style could be (it's kind of the same tradeoff that stuff like Genshin Impact makes).

Like, why does Sir Pentious' hat have an eye and a mouth on it that makes its own expressions? Apparently not for very much reason at all, except that Pentious has a bit of an eyes-motif going on in his design and it was one more place to put an extra eye. And that's a valid criticism of his design, but also the entire show is designed like that, so frankly it would be weirder and more out of place if his design alone didn't have that kind of overelaborate decoration going on.

It does create a situation where I have a hard time "reading" the character designs sometimes. For example, Vox, Alastor and Pentious all wear a similar style of suit with upwards-turned shoulders, butterflies and pinstripes. Now, am I meant to read that as Vox imitating Alastor due to his crippling need to replace and outdo him, and Pentious imitating the style of powerful Overlords because he thinks that possessing their level of power will finally give him relief from his paranoia and self-loathing?

Or is it just a design fixation of the creator who keeps putting their characters in suits because that's just what they like? I can't really be sure, because sometimes design elements are used to intentionally tell stories about how characters relate to themselves, their world and one another, but plenty of other times designs look the way they do Because Of Vibes.

But again, that lack of clarity is clearly an intentional trade-off - and the benefit of that trade-off is a design style that is extremely varied, wild, expressive and memorable. Hazbin Hotel seems like a very easy show to draw fanart of, and a very fun show to draw fanart of. Those designs (especially the hyper-expressive faces) are begging to be the subjects of traumatic headcanons, unbearably cotton-candy soft fluff fantasies and weird, taboo, homoerotic power dynamics. Slaps roof of character design, this bad boy can express so much vicarious emotional intensity.

It's very exuberant, very excited about itself and very self-indulgent, it's a style that prioritizes visual impact and visual interest over readability (something which the animators of the show navigate with real skill, props to them) and individual aesthetics over worldbuilding.

And I don't blame anyone for being turned off by that (I certainly was the first time I started seeing those designs going around), but I would struggle to call the show's designs "bad" when they are clearly achieving exactly what they want to achieve.

I have some criticisms, especially re: how the show treats skinny bodies as an unquestioned, desirable default, and employs fatness as a means of alienating and abjecting the audience. That sucks very badly, and is a serious disappointment, and one of the few places where the show feels like it is being cowardly in its design philosophy. But I don't have it in me to do some kind of Hazbin Hotel Sucks And Here's Why takedown, its problems are not unique or extreme enough to warrant it, at least not as I currently understand them.

[isoobie]

NERDY ─── classmate sunghoon

🍵 wc 400 none! 𝅘𝅥𝅮 cute and shy sunghoon is the best

“honestly, what is his problem?” the voice in your head echoed for the third time today.

park sunghoon, you were curious about him— very. he was timid, hidden away by textbooks and only talked when necessary. he wore these thick, black rimmed glasses which sat perfectly above his nose bridge, and every time he used his delicate fingers to make them upright, you couldn’t help but look.

you hate to admit it, but sometimes you catch yourself getting lost into his dark pupils while admiring his annoyingly pretty face. if sunghoon stared at you the most, you stared at him— even more.

he came to school on time, never had a crease on his uniform and was a cliché, top student. ever since you had moved from your old school it looked like you had caught his attention. you would catch him stealing glances at you while nervously pretending he didn't. it was cute, you thought.

vice versa, sunghoon caught your eye as well. it's basically impossible to look away when he looks so angelic under the sunlight not batting an eye at anything but his work.

“are you staring at me?” it was probably the first time he had ever directly talked to you, hence the tensed tone in his voice.

“what if i am, it's not like you haven't,” you could see his blush creeping up on his cheeks and his ears turning red, you wish you could photo this moment and use it to tease him for the rest of his life.

“by the way, do you need help on that problem?” his voice was high pitched and apprehensive, anyone could have easily told that park sunghoon was nervous, because of you.

however, his question was valid, you were struggling on this problem for a long time and unconsciously, you had observed him so that he would help you.

“why don't we go to a cafe after school to solve it, we should focus on the lesson right now, don't you think so?”

the textbook that was on the desk concealed his face as you try to hide your smile, when was he ever this adorable? but as you reach it, you see his flushed cheeks and a smile mirroring yours.

he fixes his glasses again before saying, “my answer is always a yes when it comes to you.”

isoobie 2024