#which greatly confuses me cause the knot still is coming back a little but it’s not constant

[trash-bin-ary]

Why is it only Thursday tomorrow it should be Friday waaaa I need more of a break

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 11: Under Pressure •

TRIGGER WARNINGS: blatant homophobia from Nicklesmart The Beatboxing Jester™️ in disguise as someone you know, internalized homophobia throughout the whole chapter. As usual, will put a skip marker for the heavier scene before and after if you need/want to skip. It is not light, ngl 😔 [trigger words: f*iry + the f slur, each used on exactly one occasion, and (as an insult) queer. I'm so sorry, this was not easy for me either and please do not read this if any of this in any way bothers you, i won't be mad if you skip the chapter 💕]

A/N: Next chapter will be all fluff I promise 🥲, I'm so sorry, but I needed something that could solidify Richie and Y/n's friendship for good, and her helping him through his worst fear is the best way to do that and will be explored in other ways throughout the rest of the series, specifically in the sequel. all that aside, I missed you guys and this series so much!!

LGBTQ+ RESOURCES AND SELF HELP LINKS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAPTER

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

- 𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗦𝗧 -

    Richie keeps his eyes trained on the dried mud on his navy blue slip-ons as he makes his way across town, his mind buzzing twice as fast as it normally did. He felt as if his entire body had been put through a blender; his skull still vibrating in his head turning his brain into jelly. His stomach empty and lurching as it twisted into knots far more impossible than what you'd see from a circus performer and his heartbeat could rival a hummingbird's. Not to mention he was walking with two extra legs he'd grow from time to time, another freaky affect the physical and mental toll these past few weeks had put on him and his eyesight. The caffeine he had been living on hadn't helped him one bit either he reckoned.

    Insomnia had become his best friend in the past few weeks, hence this last-minute trip to the old gravel pit just behind Derry Town dump. At least, this was the lie he told himself to pluck up enough courage to call Y/n up. Richie hoped she could talk him through it, give him some advice. He was never this nervous to talk to her and deep down in a corner he wished to bury forever - that small part of himself that begged to be free - knew exactly why. This small, repressed Richie Tozier that lived locked away in the center of his heart was calling the shots that day. Hell, he probably had been his whole life but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet, let alone his true attentions of seeking her help.

    All he knew is he was nervous as all hell, his palms were sweating, he couldn't stop fiddling with his glasses and he was sure one wrong move and he'd shit his pants. For fucks sake, he needed to shake this! He had already freaked Y/n out, that he knew. He could still hear her voice over the receiver. It was soaked in static and every 's', or 'c' sound she made felt like a pencil was being shoved into his eardrums cause of her shitty outdated telephone.

    "You," she had asked with a pause. "want to meet at... the dump?"

    "Yeah," he scoffed, scratching the same spot behind his ear for what had to be the billionth time out of nervous habit. "you got wax in your ears, L/n?"

    "Nope. Just, a little confused is all. You seem kinda... I don't know, squirrely," she said wearily, and through a sharp crackling hiss from the receiver he can make out a nervous chuckle on her end. "You sure nothin' jumped up your ass or anything?"

    He bit his lip. Hard. As if punishing himself for drawing her suspicions this early. What if she somehow caught on to what he was gonna talk to her about? Her walk to the gravel pit would surely give her enough time to get to that conclusion, and Richie wasn't daft. He knew he wasn't exactly subtle about... "insomnia". What with how many times he teased insomnia, called it that special nickname he knew it hated but secretly loved. That forbidden flutter in his chest when insomnia would laugh at his jokes, and the small but precious moments they shared from time to time when the others were late that would stay in his heart and mind for weeks to come. But it didn't matter now, as everyone knew; insomnia kept Y/n's company now.

    Thankfully his mouth was faster than his brain, and it fired a rapid response before a lull could form.

    "You bet your fur," he fires, his lanky arm had rested awkwardly against the wall beside the wall mount. "I am right as rain, toots."

    He of course hadn't seen it, but she had frowned at her phone. Her concern was growing with every word spoken from him.

    "Yeah," she snorts, throwing back a sarcastic remark. "Cause you sound it."

    She had eased a bit, growing soft and falling back into their usual banter. Their special dynamic always seemed to coax down his guard a bit.

    "You're talking like a 1950's gangster in a speakeasy," She straightened a little and had begun pacing as much as the phone cord would allow her. "Ya know... More than usual."

    Y/n smiled when she could practically hear the smirk taking over his face, and she certainly had no trouble picturing his hunched shoulders and intimidating snarl he was most likely dawning.

    "It's a little somethin' called moxie, kid," he spoke with curled his words, imitating all the gangsters he had seen in those cheesy old films. "somethin' you just don't have,"

    Y/n had rolled her eyes again, at least Richie could see her doing so when he heard her respond. "Right, right. My bad Baby Face."

    "Hey!" He barked, snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor as if she could see him. His voice lowered in a thick Chicago accent. "That's mista Baby Face to ya."

    "Mista Baby Face Nelson!" She strained, her annoyed shout tainted with a laugh. "Are we meeting at five or not?"

    Richie released a quick and silent breath, expelling as many nerves as possible.

    "You bet your fur."

    The exchange kept playing over and over in his mind and Richie wondered if the same rang true for Y/n. He hoped not, cause that would mean she was thinking about it too much. Hell, he was thinking about it too much now. A heavy sigh rolls off of his chest as every anxiety collectively manifests into its own dark thought.

    Fuck, he really had it bad.

    How pathetic he was.

    Eddie would surely be horrified to know what Richie really thought of him, that was for sure.

    And as if he hadn't felt crazy enough, the thoughts actually began to feel like voices calling him from the darkest shadows of his mind.

    'And the other Losers? You'll be lucky if they even look at you again.'

    Richie was surprised to find himself fighting back, pushing back as much as he could. Despite all the jokes and jabs, he couldn't be completely alone. A small part whispered in his heart that he wasn't, and he thought briefly of the turtle strangely enough but it was gone just as soon as it had come. All he knew was that whatever was telling him this thing was stubborn. But so was Richie Tozier.

    He treated it as an intrusive thought. Made a decision then and there that it was, never occurring to him what it could be if wasn't.

    No way. Not those assholes, he tells the voice. These are the Losers for fucks sake!

    The more he thought about it the more he was sure of it. God forbid Eddie did find out, which Richie had no intention of, and what would happen was in fact unclear. But no matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't picture the little spaghetti man ever cutting him out of his life completely. Not by choice at least.

    Now Ben, that lovable sappy haystack of his that was too passionate for his own good. Richie may not be the silent type but he does pick up on things, and Hanscom's affections for Beverly Marsh were far from subtle. Always opening doors for her and turning redder than a tomato when she smiled at him. Not to mention Richie was about ninety percent sure there was a poem of some sort involved. And that was just Beverly, Ben was always thinking of the Losers. Now Richie knew for sure that boy had no hateful bone in his body to the point it was fucking annoying.

    Mike, Richie felt, might be a little similar. The kid had a lot of heart, always going on about the animals on his farm. Would even go as far to say he considered them his friends, what with how much Richie knew about Mooriuel the calf and he hadn't even met her for cripes sake! Richie imagined he'd be a bit more shocked but would try some sappy speech when he came around. Would make a whole big thing of it, pat him on the back, and even invite a conversation. He scoffed at the thought, the image of Mike slapping him on the back and his signature grin... Yeah, he appreciated the hypothetical gesture but it wasn't Richie's style.

    He could easily see Big Bill sputtering up a storm, but managing a smile. He'd probably even manage to forget their differences long enough to say something stupid but supportive. And Beverly and Stan were the ones he worried about the least. Stan would probably be too indifferent to care, throw him some snarky ass comment like, "took ya long enough, dipshit," and Beverly? Well, Beverly had always been cool, very laid back. She never took shit, and she never dished it out if she didn't think it was deserved which Richie admired greatly. This was one of many reasons he was so shocked she had taken Bill's side in the fight.

    The thought brings him back down again, and as soon as the memory touches him so do the nerves in his jaw tensing up again where he had been hit. He could feel the punch all over again. And he suddenly remembers why he is here.

    He is here, he realized.

    Just around the bend, coming into view was the gravel pit. Old and crumbling it was, and overrun with weeds and bushes. One could easily scale in and out of it, and at the very bottom Rich had discovered one day was a beaten and tattered leather seat from a car that found its way from the junkyard just a ways over. This was where he told Y/n to meet him.

    Y/n...

    Jesus fuck, what would Y/n say? How would he tell her? Would she still wanna be friends with him? Would she laugh and crack a joke, not taking it seriously? Would she hate him for it? More importantly, why in the ever-loving fuck was he here and willing to tell her?

    His gangly legs tumble into a sprint as he picks up momentum descending the uneven terrain. The rubber soles of his shoes kicking up the layers of dirt and shaved gravel that lay beneath the rocks and he had to put effort into not crashing as he comes to a stop. He manages to avoid a nasty fall, completely ignorant to the fact that his right foot had been only inches away from a root peeking out from the rocks surely would have broken his neck had he made even one wrong move. He puffs out his chest, dusting himself off, and once again tries to dispel the nausea broiling in his stomach like hot tar.

    He closes his eyes tiredly as he drags his feet to the leather bench, letting his backside fall through the air and into the somewhat plush cushion with a deep groan. "Fuck."

    His fingers rub his tired eyes, his fingertips finding bits of crust he hadn't gotten earlier and his knuckles brush his glasses further up onto his forehead. Not quite knowing what to do with the overwhelming thoughts and emotions clouding him, his fingers dig further into his eye sockets until all he can see are inky splotches behind his eyes.

    Richie doesn't know why he would ever think those things of Y/n. He hadn't ever told her this, not directly at least, but she was just about the only person in the world he trusted most. He knew in his heart of hearts this was why he found himself dialing her number before he could even register what he was doing. Even after their separation and the bitter feelings they took with it, the Losers were and always would be his best friends in the world.

    So why did everything about this feel so wrong?

    From the moment the phone call ended, he felt like he was waltzing into a trap like some putz...

    "Well, look who it is..." snarled a voice from up above the surface.

    Richie's blood ran cold and it felt as if the remainder of the air in his lungs had been squeezed out like air in a deflating balloon. He whipped around at the voice, his head twisting up at the silhouetted figure so fast he was shocked he hadn't broken his own neck. The figure held their hands on their hips, thousands of the sun's rays spilling around them as they blocked out a part of the sun, an advantage they reaped from where they stood before Richie at just the right angle. His breath caught in his throat as he had recognized the voice immediately, but the figure didn't quite match the voice.

    The last thing person he needed to see right now was Henry fucking Bowers, that was for sure.

    The universe agreed so it would seem. The figure shifted, just out of the light revealing the teasing smirk of his best friend Y/n. Her hands snapped together, her palms forming a handgun, the barrel aiming right at Richie's forehead.

    "The jig is up," she snarled. "We knows it was you. You was the ones to steal from Big Bill's dame, and I wouldn't be surprised if yous was in cahoots, neithers."

    Despite the fear that had clutched his heart only seconds ago, a small chortle left Richie at how awful her accent was. Hadn't she learned anything from him? A smug smile overtook Y/n's face as he broke. She holstered her handguns and gracefully descended the pile of gravel. His smile expired not long after, and despite the thin veil of clouds creeping over the sun the light in the sky was much too hard to even glance at his friend without blinking back several painful searing tears from the harsh light. But he could still make her out.

    She was dressed in her usual ratty and eclectic garb; a mix of something far too big for her frame and something that seemed far too tight to be comfortable. Richie was certain she had never once owned even a thread of clothing that had always been hers. Her s/c brow had its usual, light glossy sheen of grease that Richie had learned very early on to not ask about. But there was something about her now, something he couldn't quite place.

    Though one question kept popping up in his mind. One that left an itch in his brain he couldn't quite scratch in his dazed state. And that was how could he have possibly thought she sounded like Henry Bowers?

    He finds himself looking down at the gravel now, wiping away as much of the sun's damage pooling in his eyes as he can. Unbeknownst to him, she watches him studiously, the ghost of her smile still on her lips as if she was enjoying his discomfort. His long and gangly limbs are folded awkwardly, still, onto the leather seat that sits on the ground. Finally, she takes a seat beside him with a huff as he had.

    As he rubs his tired eyes for a second time she takes a long look around, breaking the silence when her trip around the gravel pit lands on him.

    "Well, you've looked better." She quips, offering a smile.

    Richie snorts, pushing his slipping glasses up the bridge of his nose with a friendly smirk. "This comin' from Raggedy Ann?"

    They both breathe a small laugh and for a moment - just one beautiful, fleeting moment - Richie forgets he was ever scared. This is what he needed.

    "So," she says, pulling his gaze towards her, sending him a cocky smile as a knowing look sparkles behind her eyes. "I'm guessing there's a reason I'm here, and not helping you with your summer training?"

    Richie, for reasons unknown to him, feels his muscles tense up again involuntarily. Like a puppeteer suddenly yanking the strings, ripping his shoulders up to his ears and his muscles bracing. He felt rigid and he was, but he was doing all he could not to show it. All his unease came back in steady waves marching up the sand, but what could he do now? He could already feel her eyes burning holes into the side of his head as he kicked around a sizeable rock with the toe of his shoe, studying him. Waiting.

    Finally, his shoulders slumped in a shrug, lower lip in an indifferent pout as he looked around at the sky hanging above the gravel pit.

    "Just needed a change from all those ugly mugs, I guess," he manages a laugh, and he rises to his feet to lazily chase the rock that had rolled out of his reach.

    He can feel her eyes on him still, and he doesn't know what to make of it until finally she breaks her silence with a chuckle and rises to join him. She catches the rock with the heel of her dirtied sneakers. They're worn down to the very last thread and several shades off from the original color. She kicks the rock back to him, and they engage in a lazy game of rock soccer.

    "I can understand that," she says calmly, eyes trained on the rock as it tumbles across the gravel with several chunky clanks. "Reckon it'll be good for you, too,"

    He frowns confused without looking up at her, winding one lanky leg back before one big kick. "Whad'ya mean?"

    "Well, you don't wanna spend your whole summer inside of an arcade, do you?"

    Richie's face freezes in a frown, the rest of his body going rigid. His eyes cement on the rock underneath his shoe, willing away the veil of tears that threatened to fall. Had he not been so caught up on why he was here, Richie might have had a clear enough head to realize Y/n wasn't there for that conversation, nor had she heard about it from anyone there. Instead, all Rich can think about is the small hypochondriac boy that had stolen his heart.

    He can hear the conversation he had with his best friend, all those weeks ago when school let out. And if felt like a lifetime since he had seen that squishable, pouty little disgusted frown Eddie always put on that made Richie's inside melt. As if reading his mind, Y/n spoke.

    "This is about Eddie, isn't it?"

    Her tone is gentle but veiled. Something was concealed about the way she held herself, ever since she had arrived, something that Richie couldn't quite place. And there it was. He was right about her suspecting him, he must be. Richie battles the lump forming in his throat, and he can feel his ears turning pink under her unwavering and unblinking stare.

    Richie does all he can to fight a snarky response, not knowing how else to navigate and survive the intensity of his feelings. All he manages to do is nod.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

    "Rich, it's okay," she says, taking a step forward, his gaze is pulled to her eyes. And here it is, he thinks. The moment he had been dreading, the moment he hadn't even allowed himself to think about. "...I miss him, too."

    His face caught in another frown. That's definitely not what he expected her to say. Quickly as he could, he wiped away a spot of snot at his nose. He had managed to keep the tears at bay but now they had found another way out. He felt like a fucking fool, and he wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Of course she didn't know what he was talking about. Why would she - how would she? His spirits were crushed, and he suddenly didn't feel like getting into it now. She seemed off today, not that Richie cared. All he wanted was for this whole day to be over with, not even knowing the worst had yet to come.

    She studies his reaction, almost as if she had been waiting for this and she blinks for what Richie is now starting to realize must be the first time since she got here. Y/n's face screws into a frown, and yet there still lingered an uneasy smile that taunted him. Her eyes squint suspiciously at Richie, her head tilting in an expression he never knew he had always feared would come.

    She laughs finally, a shrill and grating laugh he hadn't quite heard before and she nudges him playfully. "Oh, come on! It's not like you've got some faggy crush on him or something?"

    When he doesn't answer, she scoffs, turning away and shaking her head in disbelief for a moment.

    Richie felt he just might vomit. Or cry. Or both. He had never felt so distraught, so dejected. So broken.

    How could she be saying these things?

    He tries with all his might to conjure a response, any fucking thing at all so he wasn't some blubbering broken chump breaking down in front of her. But for the first time in his life, Richie "loudmouth" Tozier was speechless.

    That fuck-awful grating laugh returns, a sour look screws up her face as she looks him up and down in disgust.

    "Wait, seriously?" She gapes with a scoff, making him feel about two inches tall. "You actually think he'd want to be with some fairy freak like you?"

    "F-f-uck off," he sputters, though he does not feel better.

    The trembling in his voice, the vulnerability, hearing it in himself strips any remaining scrap of confidence he had left. He's crying now and there's no hiding it. And she heard it in his voice, he knew that now as he looks at her. Her lips curl into a malicious smile and she takes another step closer, Richie fumbles a step back.

    "He isn't some," her nose crinkles as she continues to advance on him, the fire in her eyes building as he stumbles back to escape her sudden venom. "rotten queer like you."

    Y/n spits the words out like they were poison on her tongue, and this was true in every way. Her fiery stare never left Richie, it burned holes right through him as she advanced on him like a wolf on a wounded doe. They were nearing the edge of the gravel pit, and Richie had nearly run out of room when her finger stabbed his chest like a sword's final strike to the heart, pushing him to the ground as she spoke those poisonous words.

    Richie felt his backside meet several jagged rocks that brought even more tears to his eyes, though none of them hurt as much as her words. She towered over him now, the sun beating down on her back and pouring over her shoulders, trapping Richie in her shadow. She shakes her head, and he can still make out the pathetic look on her face as she glowers at him.

    "It's girls he likes. It's me he likes." she points to herself, shaking her head. "He was mine the second he saw me, but you?"

    She scoffs again, and her shadow releases him as she kneels to balance on her feet, legs folded before him with a snide look.

    "You've always been the insufferable loudmouth he couldn't get rid of." A sharp laugh escapes her, the clutch on his heart tightening to dangerous amounts he fears it will give out. "Well, I guess he doesn't have to worry about that now, huh?"

    His heart feels as if it has been ripped to shreds, the claws of the wolf had struck and now he was drowning in his own sorrows as pain as the heartbreak filled his lungs. Richie could no longer see behind the thick wall of glassy tears that blanketed his eyes, and the sounds of his own sobs amplified his embarrassment and despair. He was hopelessly broken, and he could feel himself crumble, each piece disappearing amongst the gravel underneath him until he couldn't be found. He blinked only once, but it was enough to send every tear racing down his cheek at once.

    Another malicious smile contorts her face, her e/c eyes burning darker until they looked almost a completely different shade. Her lips seemed to stretch on and on and on in a way only one thing could. And it was then that it occurred to him.

    Not one thing she had said to him is something he could have ever prepared himself for, each word constricting his heart and lungs and swelling his throat with the ever-growing lump.

    Nor was any of it something she would ever dream of saying, he knew this now.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

    This wasn't Y/n, this was never Y/n. She had never showed, and if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own fucking head he would have caught on from the second "Y/n" arrived. Especially that entrance, Y/n surely would have fallen on her ass on her way down into the gravel pit never mind the fact her accent wouldn't be nearly as shit.

    But none of this mattered now. This thing that looked like his friend had him cornered, and It knew it.

    A wicked grin overtook the mask of Y/n's face that chilled Richie to his bones, and yet it also reassured him. Y/n was tough and could be scary from time to time, but he knew she could never be capable of the pure evil that now danced in It's eyes. Richie's body was already in motion, his arms and legs scrambling for any sort of grip that could take him up the side of the pit and to safety. But the gravel beneath him was always shifting, rolling out from underneath him when it wasn't raking his palms to pieces and all he was accomplishing was a small plume of dust that clung to his backside.

    Richie didn't know where it came from, but his actions were faster than his feelings as his fist collided with It's nose. And no sooner did the heel of his shoe collide in a painful crack that sent It's head back, did his eyes widen in horrific shock. The painful crack that would surely haunt him for many nights to come, had not been from the collision of his heel on It's nose but It's head - or Y/n's as this was still It's disguise - had snapped completely back and dangled completely off It's/her shoulders.

    The only thing connecting her head to her shoulders was the suit of s/c skin. Protruding from the center of her neck just under the skin was the end of her spine where it had disconnected, giving away a disturbing lack of muscles and veins in her neck as if it had been hollowed out like a pumpkin. Her head rolled back and forth limply, and Richie could feel bile climbing up his throat, ready to burst out his digested mac and cheese.

    His mind was screaming at his legs to run while all was still but a small part of him knew this was all a gambit, that it didn't matter if she was frozen stiff or not. Richie knew as soon as he booked it, It would spring to life with something even more twisted. That now, without his friends, he was as good as dead.

    And It was more than happy to prove Richie right.

    The clone of his friend sprang to life, It's head still rolling around on It's shoulders. Connected only by the skin of It's neck, and moving around like some fucked up slinky toy. Richie was already halfway up the gravel pit, bits of rock and dirt finding their way into his shoes as he kicked up the earth though that was the farthest thing from his mind.

    By the time Richie reached the top of the pit, he could no longer hear the thunderous boom of his heart attempting to break loose from his chest, which was saying an awful lot. His screams echoed out into the air only to be swallowed by the screams of other children and Richie didn't know how he knew this but he knew those were the screams of Betty Ripsom, Ed Corcoran... Georgie Denbrough. The bloodied screams of It's victims were drowning Richie as he ran for the junkyard, and he wondered if he might live to hear them stop.

    The screams were so fucking loud in his ears he could see them. Each of them a blinding, deafening, gut-wrenching, and blood-curdling scream that danced through the air like ribbons as they begged for their lives. Richie cried out and he couldn't even hear his own voice, but he didn't let this stop his legs from pumping as hard as they possibly could. He was nearly to the junkyard, surely he could use something to fend It off but he knew he was just buying time.

    He could taste the blood on his tongue from where his teeth bit into his cheek. In all his short life, Richie Tozier would not have guessed child-eating clown to be the way he'd kick the can. When ever the thought of death began troubling him, he always liked to picture something like a western. Him and his rightful enemy squaring off against good and evil, he'd shoot first and save the day but still sustain an injury and bleed out. But it'd be a hero's death. And that was something.

   But this... this was something born out of darker than evil and Richie was about to be pulled into the gravity well of this black hole and swallowed up. And he knew in his soul, the very pits of his stomach it would reach out with its shadowy arms and pull him into darkness.

    And it did.

    Richie had been rapidly approaching the edge of the junkyard without realizing and within an instant found himself on the ground, caved in on himself as he tumbled in the dirt and rocks accepting he was to join them soon enough. He closed his eyes and waited for death as a hand curled around his shoulder and pulled him around. Another jolt of shock shot through his entire body at the sudden contact, locking his jaw and paralyzing his entire body in fear as he was met with the new threat. He didn't dare open his eyes, and certainly not when he heard his best friend's voice again.

    "Richie! Richie?"

    It was her again, he realized. Y/n's real voice, the one that he heard on the telephone that was dripped in static. The one now dripped in fear.

   "Richie?!"

    When the boy opened his eyes, they were filled with terror and his sobs continued. A lense Y/n never thought she'd see Richie look at her through. Her heart broke in an instant when she realized he was afraid... of her. Instantly, she released him and let her backside fall back into the gravel. She watched through a thick wall of tears as he trembled, crying to himself, and never in all her life had she seen Richie Tozier so broken.

    It tore her apart.

    She didn't have to be a genius to realize what had happened here. Before she had even reached the junkyard on her bike she had heard his screams strangled through the wall of trees gating the area. When she had reached the gravel yard, she was happy to see him still in one piece but he was running for his life from an invisible force. The damn coward had gotten what It wanted and scared him shitless, but why would he disappear just because she showed? She had wondered.

    Now she was beginning to understand. It didn't need to be here to scare her. Just the sight of Richie in such a state was enough to tear her down and it took just about everything in her not to scream into the sky from a mix of fury and fear.

    Besides the tears that race down her cheeks and wet her legs, all Y/n could feel was a painfully numbing fear. Fear that Richie would never be the same. Fear that Richie would never speak to her again. Fear that Richie would never trust her again. Fear for whatever the fucking hell that thing did to Richie. Fear that It would do it again.

    All she felt now was fear for Richie.

    Y/n doesn't bother to fight the sob that breaks loose, her bottom lip quivers violently and her arms fall to the gravely pavement beneath her. As if her head had filled with lead, it grew heavy enough to fall into her chest where her chin landed, shaking several more tears loose.

    "I'm s-so sorry, Richie,"

    Y/n yearns to say more, but her body is physically weak from sadness and shame. Yet still, she repeats it in her mind hoping with everything in her it slips out of her mouth, or maybe if she thought them loud enough he'd hear them in his mind.

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry for whatever happened. I'm so goddamn sorry...

    "I'm sorry," she whimpers. "I promise..."

    I promise I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise I'm not gonna hate you. I promise I'm gonna be there for you, from now on. I promise.

    Her sniffles blend with his own, and Richie is unsure why this is the moment he knows for sure this is the real Y/n before him; maybe he was just too exhausted to think it through, perhaps it was the godawful sound she was making trying to keep herself from snotting as bad as he was but he knew It had gone. And the Y/n sitting beside him — crying with him, was the one he dialed up today. This was the Y/n he had been prepared to bare his soul to. His true self.

    So with one shaky hand — the other still tucked in close to his chest — Richie's left hand slid out from under him and across the gravel to Y/n's open palm. Her fingers were digging into the gravel, sharp edges of the rock digging into her skin as if to assure herself she was really real. Suddenly, she felt Richie's shaky palm slide underneath hers, carefully taking it.

    Y/n picked her glassy stare up from the ground to look at their intertwined hands, and she melted a little. Several of those fears — not all of them, but some — were ebbed away and she looked to Richie. He was still curled up in the dirt, his eyes closed and silent tears streaking his dirt-covered face. Each tear paved a path of clean skin, washing the dirt away in wild streaks where ever each tear had fallen. Several large and swollen beads of tears collected at his chin where they dangled, threatening to fall.

    She gave his hand a squeeze, letting him know she was there for him as she had promised him. And she was ready to sit with him for as long as he needed.

    For hours that feel only like minutes, they sit together in tear-filled silence, clinging to one another's presence and the knowledge that they are now all they have left.

    And there was no way they were letting go.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Here are some LGBTQ+ resources for mental health and self help if you feel you need them:

How do I find LGBTQ friendly therapy?

An article on safe ways to find the best sources of help that are right for you

The Trevor Project

Self Care Tips for Trans and Non Binary Folks

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[heartofwritiing]

I still love you.

Paring(s): Ethan Nestor x fem!reader

a/n: I was in a sad mood again so i got inspiration for this! yay! hope you like it! based on prompts 64. “we need to talk” from this prompt list. I tried to write an argument scene, also idk if I entirely love how this fic turned out. Also NO HATE to Mika I love and respect her and Ethan’s relationship 100% this is literally just for entertainment purposes and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Warning(s): Angst! (grab the tissues) unedited! 

I was planning on staying in tonight but it was Kathryn’s birthday party and I had to go. Amy and Mark insisted that I go to get out of the house and socialize. I knew Ethan would be there and I was dreading even thinking about seeing him. We broke up over a year ago and things didn’t go well. I thought everything was fine and clearly it wasn’t for a while, and I was just delusional. He said he met someone else and he didn’t love me like that anymore, so I left and we haven’t spoken since. Amy and Mark took me in and let me stay in their guest room for as long as I needed but, affording an apartment in southern California was hard and expensive on my own. 

While I was getting ready a gentle knock came at my door.

“It’s me, can I come in?” It was Amy on the other side. 

  I said yes and the door opened. Amy stood in the doorway dressed in a white romper, her makeup and hair were done very nicely to a casual look because she didn't need that much anyways she was pretty on her own. I was just finishing up brushing the knots out of my hair when she sat at the end of my bed. I knew she wanted to chat when she did this, Amy had always been a sister to me since we first met and it was nice to have someone there for me like she was. I started doing a little concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but part of me didn’t care about impressing anyone tonight. 

“you okay?” she asks. 

I sigh. I wasn’t sure what to tell her and I didn’t want to lie. She would know if I did kinda like a six sense, she would always know if I was lying or not. 

 “I’m fine,” I say. 

  That wasn’t the whole truth but, It’s been a year and I knew I had to face him at some point. We have the same friends and I didn’t want everyone to feel awkward around us anymore any time the other was mentioned. I’m just tired of everyone acting like everything is wired and wished it would go back to normal.

“You don’t have to go, I know it's been really hard for you and if you're uncomfortable with seeing him-” 

“I'll be fine Ames.” I reassure her. She sighed at my answer but didn’t push further into questioning. 

I finished adjusting my outfit and grabbed my shoes from the floor and pulled them on. We exited my room to see Mark already waiting for us at the front door. He held out both arms for us to take and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Shall we ladies?” 

We both giggled but accepted his arms.

“You’re a goof,” Amy laughs. 

-

  Arriving at Kathryn’s house it was a bit crowded with groups talking amongst themselves and some dancing in the living room where music played. Purple lights hung on the walls making the house glow and party streamers hung from the ceiling and some multi colored balloons floated in the conners of the house. It was a pretty chill looking party. The three of us quickly went to find the birthday girl and give hugs and presents. 

“Y/N! You made it!” Kathryn exclaims. She rushes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. 

“Of course Kath!” I smiled. “You know I only came for cake,” I wink.  

  She laughs and excuses herself to go greet more guests at the door. I noticed Tyler over by the snack table already chatting with Mark about something I walked over and he greeted me with a hug and he joked how he hasn’t seen me in years. I laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully before he continued his conversation with Mark. I never was into parties or gatherings and preferred hanging out with close friends. The only other person I knew there was Tyler; everyone else was either family or friends of Kath. So I felt like a wallflower for most of the night, which was fine by me since I didn’t like interacting with other people that much.  

About an hour into the party we were all chatting amongst ourselves until the doorbell rang again, and Kathryn went to answer it. When she opened the door I instantly knew who it was since I hadn’t seen him at all yet tonight. Ethan greeted Kathryn with a hug and handed her a medium sized gold box with ribbon tied at the top. She made a motion over to where all of us where standing before heading off the other direction to put the gift on the table.  

  He was here and my brain was panicking. 

My heart was hammering so much I was sure it would bust open my chest. I tried to turn away but I felt frozen and entranced by him. Him and his video game reference t-shirt and jeans. His styled hair, his smile that was contagious that always gave me butterflies. Mark noticed I was quiet for a while and looked over to see me staring at Ethan. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it helped. I looked up at him and smiled softly as thanks. He smiled back and continued his conversation with Tyler and I tried to not look in the direction Ethan was in. Instead, I turd to Amy and started talking about something random and she was at first confused then two figures came into my peripheral vision. 

  “Hey guys,” Ethan’s voice came to my ears and I turned to see him standing in front of us all with a girl. Her short green hair stood out and her demeanor seemed nervous. Everyone greeted him back with the same tone except for me but I didn’t think he noticed until his eyes shifted to me and the smile he sent me made me feel dizzy. I give him a very thin smile back. He frowns. 

  “I’m Mika,” the girl standing at his side says. 

Mika gives a small wave to the group. Mark is still holding my hand and I'm trying so hard not to start crying. 

Mark brings up a conversation about an upcoming show he's doing but I zone out. Amy comes to my side and puts a hand around my back. She must've noticed I was starting to get uncomfortable as she leans over into my ear.

“Do you wanna leave?” she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

“I just need the bathroom, be right back.” I say. She nods and gently pats me on the back. I let go of Mark's hand and walked towards the stairs. I've been to Kathryn's house many times so I knew where it was. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me as I walked away but I didn't care. I changed my route to the backdoor slider and pushed it open. I heard a faint call of my name but I ignored it, the chill of california night greeted me as I stepped out into the backyard trying to steady my breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

I froze at the voice. 

It was Ethan. 

“Listen, �� He says. 

At this point I was on the verge of tears but I shook them away and crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him but I didn't make eye contact out of fear of breaking down. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, shifting my feet. 

I could see him starting to move closer but I kept my eyes to the ground. 

 He inhaled a deep breath. 

“I'm sorry about the way things ended for us and I'm sorry I hurt you.” He said. 

“I wanted to be the very last person to ever hurt you.” 

“Well you failed,” I spit, looking up at him finally. 

His mouth parted, whatever he was going to say next vanished. in his eyes I could tell his mind was racing, searching for the right thing to say next. I clenched my hands at my side as he continued to speak. 

“I felt like shit after

” He says. 

“Then why did you still leave?!” My voice was rising. 

“Because, after what I said I couldn’t bring myself to face you.” 

“So what, you just decided to forget me completely and?” The last words coming out are bitter. 

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer making me inhale. 

“If you’re referring to Mika, we only just started dating a few months ago.'' he seeths anger laced in his voice. 

“Why would I do that? You think I was happy to leave you?” 

I just shrugged and he scoffed. 

“Well, you were the one who said you didn't love me anymore.” My lip trembling as I thought back to that night he said those words, taking some of his possessions and driving away. 

We stood in silence for a minute before he walked even closer to me and I could hear his breathing. I didn’t see his eyes then he brought his hand up to my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. He smiled softly when our eyes connected then I started crying. 

“Don’t,” I quiver. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Don’t smile at me like everything is fine,” 

“You think I meant that?” 

I nodded. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He says and I gasp. 

 Before I could respond and say I felt the same he was leaning down and capturing my lips with his. I froze for a moment, my eyes going wide in surprise, then relaxed and let him consum me. His arms engulfed around my back to pull me closer so our chests were pressed together, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my ears and my cheeks heated. The feeling of kissing him was one that I missed very greatly. Just the way he made me tremble with just a touch was proof my emotions regarding Ethan Nestor haven’t changed. Not even in the slightest. I reached my hands up into his hair instinctively, gripping his brown locks to bring him down deeper into me. His teeth came out to nip at my bottom lip causing me to let out a barely audible whine. Desire flooded through me like a wave and it was overwhelming how much I wanted him back so I could kiss him like this again. Over and over again until my lips were numb and swollen. 

A smack filled the air when we pulled away, our breathing was uneven and hot as it mixed due to the proximity of our faces. I was breathless and could barely form a word. Ethan moved away from me entirely and turned back to go inside. my heart sank and deep down I knew, that was a kiss goodbye. 

[mae-gi-writes]

Last Minute Love | Eric (The Boyz)

Requested by anon! It’s only on the eve of Eric’s departure that you realize you have feelings for him.

genre: friends to lovers au, fluff

-----

It was somewhat of a miracle that you'd managed to catch Eric just before his flight to Los Angeles. With his busy schedule going back and forth between places, he had accustomed himself to life on the road, to a home that moved each and every single time depending on which country he was touring.

And seeing him happy had never made you happier.

When he'd called you up a few weeks ago to announce - in his flurry of excitement - that he was finally visiting home, you couldn't help the squeal that fell out of your mouth, excitement bubbling up from your throat as your mind races to the countless amount of time you'e have to spend with him. A few special days that you'd hold on to in his absence.

The weeks had flown. It was impossible to discern where the time had gone, but every day since Eric's arrival had been complete bliss. Small trips to the bubble tea shop by the corner, chatting too loudly in the movie theatre, pillow fights amidst video game competitions... you had appreciated them all and yet, it didn't feel enough. It never felt enough where Eric was concerned.

Needless to say, the eve of his departure had done nothing to mend the slow tear of stitches holding your heart together. As you sat together with your group of friends on the beach where you had built a small campfire, your shoulders gently brushing Eric's every time he moved, you were greatly aware of the incessant tingling up and down your arms and his scent -- a mixture of freshly washed sheets tinged with a sweeter indescribable smell -- that wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. It was one that you'd miss dearly once he was gone and almost out of instinct, you couldn't help yourself from snuggling a little closer.

He probably felt your inner turmoil, for he laid a hand behind your back, leaning into you so that his chest pressed against your shoulder blade. You pinked, hoping that the darkness wouldn't give way to the rush of heat spreading across your cheeks, before you felt the softest caress down your backside.

In truth, Eric had been a little flirtier than usual this time. His teasing had been a little more playful, his grin a little more charming, the look in his eyes filled with a tenderness that wasn't there before. Though you were confused at his intentions, you had allowed yourself to ease into the banter, flirting back and forth until it was clear that there was something between you two.

"Do you know when's your next break?" One of your friends asked as he tipped back his beer.

Eric shook his head, "can't say. I'll be completely swamped with promotions and prepping our comeback when I return."

"Don't forget us once you make a name for yourself," another friend joked.

"I might if you keep pestering me to hook you up with celebrities," Eric shoots back with a grin.

"Seriously Ryan, you gotta play within your own league..."

You couldn't, for the life of you, focus as the conversation moved away to another topic, suddenly overwhelmed by a clog of emotion in your throat. Not knowing when you'll see Eric next was a thought that made something in your heart squeeze in pain.

"Y/N?" Eric's soft alto brought you out of your bubble, fluttering your eyes up to meet his, "you okay?"

"Fine," you muttered and looked down so that you could blink away the tears rapidly accumulating at the corner of your eyes.

His hand, warm and big and soothing, rubbed at your back comfortingly.

Clamping your teeth down onto your lower lip, you only nestled a little closer to him in response. He shifted then, turning his head until his lips brushed against your temple as goosebumps ran along your arms at his touch. It wasn't a kiss per se, just a tentative brush or skin against skin. You shivered though, not used to Eric being so affectionate.

Maybe it was something to do with the night itself, you somehow felt a little more comfortable to show him that you were going to miss him deeply.

"I'm going to miss you," your words were softer than a whisper itself. You were surprised that they reached Eric's ears, who curled his arm around your waist to hug you close.

"I'm never too far," he mumbled against your temple, before leaning away slightly to catch your gaze, "you know that, right?"

"It's not the same."

"I know," and then he tugged you closer still, not caring about the curious eyes following his every move, the diminishing distance between your bodies that would probably entice a few rounds of mischievous comments the day after.

The walk back to your house had been different. It had felt different, even when you were usually so comfortable in his presence. His hand would keep brushing against yours as you chatted quietly into the night, until his fingers finally laced themselves with yours before squeezing softly, a tender reminder that he was still here, right now at this very moment.

Your head tilted up towards his, a silent question swimming in your dark pupils that he answered with a question of his own as he held your gaze with an intensity that rendered you weak at the knees.

"What time's your flight tomorrow?" You asked once you had reached your front door.

Eric's eyes were darker than night, the moon dancing across the planes of his face as he murmured, "seven in the evening."

"I'll be there."

"You better," he chuckled while playing with your fingers. Silence enveloped you soon after, broken only by the hum of cicadas and the gentle howl of a cooling breeze.

"So, I guess that's my cue to go to bed," you tried joking, except that your chuckles came out empty, almost like someone had just gutted you in the stomach.

"Y/N, I--" Eric's hand suddenly latched onto your wrist, pulling you into him and gazing at you with soft orbs, "I'm glad we got to hang out a lot."

"Me too," a smile graces your face, "me too, Eric."

"I wish I could've stayed longer."

"Then stay," you stepped closer to him.

Eric laughed, breaths intermingling as he dipped his head to gaze at you, "I wish."

Though you weren't sure who moved first, no sooner were you thinking of ways to make this last longer that his arms had already woven around your middle, caging you in a hug that you didn't hesitate to reciprocate for fear that he might just disappear at any given moment. His nose brushed along your cheek and as you tilted your head upwards, your breath stilled at the closeness between your bodies, time stopping on its axis as you spared a glance at his lips before quickly flitting your eyes back up to his face.

You wondered briefly what it would feel like, to kiss him.

But as far as friendship went, your cowardliness had made you retract from his hold with a promise that you'd see him off tomorrow at the edge of your mouth. Regret sat in the pit of your stomach as scenarios vividly haunted your mind that night, but you did your best to bat them away as you knew that it wouldn't bring you anything to dwell on what hadn’t happened.

"Got everything?" You asked once you'd arrived at the security gates, eyes scanning his belongings one last time so as to ignore the quench of tension in your abdomen.

"Think so," Eric threw you a small smile and your insides tingled. A knot formed in your stomach. 

Your other friends were already taking turns bidding him a goodbye, hugs and laughter being shared as they made Eric promise to come back as soon as he possibly could. And then it was your turn, the moment that you'd claimed to be mentally prepared for no matter what happened. 

As Eric turned to you, your friends backed away to give you some privacy after sending you mischievous smirks, and it reassured you that they understood the inner turmoil bubbling in your stomach even when you were bound to get an earful from them as soon as you'd leave the airport.

"Well, I guess this is it," Eric's words were enough to bring tears to the corner of your eyes. You looked away, fisting your hands on your shirt to grasp for some kind of emotional restraint. 

He probably saw it, for his face softened. He reached for your arm, "come here."

And you did. You allowed yourself to get a whiff of him and allowed yourself to feel his warmth, his heartbeat against yours one last time while tears gently fell down your cheeks and stained his shirt wet.

"Keep in touch, okay?" Your words came out choked, lips trembling when you tilted your face up to look at him while trying to trace his features into memory.

He nodded and leaned down to press the softest of kisses on your cheek. Your heart stuttered, your body reacting on its own as you returned the kiss to his cheek but only reaching his jaw.

Eric's inhale was poignant. A few beats of silence passed as your gazes locked. His hand unconsciously reached up to cup your cheek, thumb tracing over your lower lip.

Swallowing hard, you were about to break away before it got too intimate when he dipped his head so that his mouth was a hair's distance away from yours.

Time stopped. Warm chocolate met dark maroon. You bit onto your lower lip, heard Eric swallow.

Oh fuck it, your mind screamed. 

Your body closed the distance between your lips to kiss him fully on the mouth.

It was short, a mere peck, and when you pulled away Eric didn't waste time to press a hand to your back to tug you in once more. His mouth pressed another kiss and almost instantly you turned as pliant as a leaf in his arms, lips moving against his as though it was the most natural thing to do with someone you had never even considered more than a friend.

Only when you parted did he allow himself to murmur out a soft, "wow."

A soft trickle of laughter erupted from your chest despite the serious situation, "what?"

He answered by cupping your cheeks, pulling you in for another kiss that caused butterflies to flutter through your stomach and tickle your heart with ecstasy.

"Wait for me?" He whispered against your mouth. His thumb traced patterns along your cheek. Yours bunched onto his shirt, desperate for this moment to last forever.

You dipped your head into a nod, "I will," you bit your lip, "if you'll come back to me."

"I'll always come back for you," Eric murmured before giving you one last final hug as another kiss imprinted on your forehead, a final goodbye with the promise that you would see more of him in the coming future.

You knew he'd come back. And one day, it would be for good.

[durmstrange]

Out of the Loop - Draco Malfoy

Welcome back!  This blurb is cute and I appreciate it and snow so greatly.  

Enjoy!

word count: 2,020

There was a knot in your throat as you wrapped your scarf tighter around your neck as you stepped out in the snow, walking towards the hopefully warm greenhouse for class.  Your hands were under your robes, trying to keep yourself warm while you were attempting to balance the strap of your bag on your shoulder.  You walked in solitude, due to being rather early to class, and hurried along the snow covered path.  

The large, fluffy flakes were coming down rapidly, quickly building on the ground and causing you to slip every so often.  There was already a thick blanket of snow on the ground, and you were sure that by dinner it would be feet of snow.  You were excited for this because you loved snow and the cold with all your heart, and you would never not enjoy it falling so peacefully.  Even if you had to go to classes and you felt like you could pass out at any moment.

It felt like ages until you were finally opening the door to the greenhouse and you were immediately enveloped in the warmth provided by a large, steel fireplace in the corner.  You hummed as you removed your heavy Ravenclaw cloak from your shoulders and scarf, hanging them on a long row of coat hooks, and made your way towards the stool you sat on all year.  Once you sat down, a yawn escaped your lips and you rested your head in your hands with your elbows on the table.  You could fall asleep right there, given the fact that you were up late the previous night studying for the Potions test you were to have later today, which made you feel like a stereotypical Ravenclaw.

You waited patiently for your friends to arrive, but given you were so early, you were unsure of how long you were going to be alone.  Evidently, it wasn’t too long, as a Slytherin student by the name of Draco Malfoy entered. You knew who he was simply though the grapevine, and this made you weary to be in the same room as him, alone.  You swallowed hard as his eyes found yours,causing you to duck your head and look away from his gaze.  

The only noise in the room was the crackling fireplace and the leaves of various plants rustling by themselves.  It was a homelike feeling and noise, and you enjoyed it thoroughly, even when in the company of someone rather stiff.  

Draco walked through the greenhouse, towards you, as you refused to look at him.  He sat down not far from you, on the other side of the table, and watched you carefully.  Still, you didn’t look at him as you began to remove your supplies from your bag.  

“You look like death.”

The comment made you glance up, surprised and alarmed.  You stared at Draco, who simply stared back with a blank look of his face, and your mouth fell open.  “P-Pardon?”  You stammered out, trying to comprehend his words.  

Slowly, he nodded.  “Death.  You look like death.  Did you even sleep last night?”  He questioned you with a bored look on his face.  

You shook your head.  “No, actually.  I was studying for the Potions test today.  Why do I look like death?”  You asked in rebuttal with wide eyes.  

Draco shrugged.  “The dark circles around your eyes are alarmingly noticeable,” he replied in a mutter and you touched your face unconsciously.  A frown tore through your face as you hung your head, sighing gently.  Draco watched you do this an an odd look crossed his face.  “I’m not trying to tell you that you look bad or anything.  Just tired,” he added with an annoyed look forming on his face.  

“I am,” you confirmed his suspicions weakly without glancing up at him.  

It was silent for a few moments as Draco assessed the situation.  He watched as you glanced at him every so often, as if you were waiting for him to make another mean comment.  Little did you know, that was not coming.  Draco looked at the saddened look on your face and he sighed lightly.  “I didn’t offend you, did I?”  He asked you suddenly and you looked up, surprised.  

With a small laugh that came out shaky and nervous, you shook your head. “No.  Not when it is the truth.  Besides, I feel like death as well,” you told him and a small smirk formed on his lips.  

“You don’t look like death.  You just appear to be extremely tired.  You’re still very beautiful,” Draco said, alarming even himself.

Your mouth fell open in surprise and you smiled softly.  “That is very kind of you to say,” you murmured gently and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.  You struggled to come up with something or anything to change the subject, and with a quick glance at your watch, you said the first thing that came to your mind.  “It’s quite odd that there isn’t anyone else here, isn’t it?”  You asked Draco quickly without meeting his gaze.  You fiddled with the watch on your wrist nervously.

Draco glanced at his watch as well, and nodded. “It is quite odd.  Perhaps class is being hosted in another greenhouse today?”  He suggested and you glanced out of the door.  

“Perhaps,” you answered airily as you stood and moved to the door and gazing out of it.  

Draco was silent as he watched you crane your neck to look outside into the blizzard.  A smirk formed on is face as you stood on your toes to look.  “What are you doing?”  He asked you with a chuckle in his voice.  

You glanced back at him, blushing, but with a smile on your face. “It seems as if class has been cancelled.  It should have started some time ago, and the snow is piling up rather quick,” you explained and moved back to your spot, packing your belongings up.  

He watched you do this, with interested eyes and an amused smirk on his face.  You packed your belongings back into your bag and looked up at Draco.  “Are you leaving?”  Draco asked you as he rested his head in his hands and his elbows on the table.  

“I was planning on it,” you answered him with a laugh and twinkling eyes.  “I really do love the snow.  Would you like to walk with me?”  You asked him hopefully and shyly, and the amused look on his face refuse to stop.  

Draco checked his watch and sighed.  “I suppose I could.”  His voice was prideful as you pulled your cloak on and wrapped your scarf around your neck.  Draco followed in suit, bundling up and waiting as you adjusted your bag on your shoulder.  “Quite cold outside; do you not have a hat or gloves?”  Draco asked you with his eyebrows knitted together.

With a blush, you shook your head.  “I don’t,” you answered simply as Draco held the door open for you.  

Without much hesitation, as soon as the door closed, Draco removed the lined black gloves he wore and held them out to you.  You opened your mouth to protest, but a stern look shut you up immediately.  “It seems you need it more than I do,” he insisted and a blush rose to your cheeks immediately.  

“Thank you, so much.”  Your voice was quiet and sweet as you did your best to avoid eye contact with him.  You pulled the gloves onto your hands as you and Draco began walking down the path towards the castle.  Immediately, when the warmth resonated in your bones, you hummed.  

The two of you walked in silence as you marveled up at the snow falling, taking in the beautiful scenery happily.  Both sets of feet left deep footprints in the shin-high snow, and you began to struggle to walk a little bit.  It did not help that it had rained first, so there was a slick layer of ice on the bottom of the fluffy snow.  

Draco glanced at you, all wrapped up and smiling gently, and he couldn’t help the words that fell out of his mouth.  “Why have I not noticed you before?”  He questioned with a perplexed look on his face.  

You blushed, and shrugged your shoulders as you walked slowly.  “I’m not sure.  Ignorance, perhaps?”  You joked with a growing smile on your face.

Draco chuckled and shook his head.  “Perhaps,” he agreed and you couldn’t help but to giggle as you walked.  

You opened your mouth to speak again, but before you could, your feet slipped beneath you.  Draco grabbed your arm in an attempt to steady you, but you only brought him down with you.  You both landed in the fluffy snow with a poof of white, and your face went deathly pale. You had landed half on top of him, much to your dismay.  “I am so sorry!”  You said quickly and moved off of him and tried to get to your feet, but his hand gripped your wrist and yanked you back down into the snow next to him.  

A throaty laugh came from his throat, and your eyes widened, but a smile formed on your face as you flung snow on him.  “You don’t need to apologize.  You give me a sense of relaxation that I have not felt in so long,” Draco told you with a smile on his face.  You blushed, but adored what he had to say, but was at a loss of words.  He continued, sitting up in the snow.  “It is something I have needed for a while now, and I am in debt to you because of it.”  He stood, holding his hand out to you.  

With a nervous laugh, you took his hand and he helped you up.  “That is not necessary.  It feels nice to be able to make someone’s day even just a little better,” you assured him as the two of you began walking again.

Draco hummed in response as you approached the castle doors. He hesitated for a moment, coming to a stop, and causing you to do the same. You watched him curiously, waiting for him to say something. He put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the snow falling. “I assume you already know that I am not the most adored person in Hogwarts.” Draco scowled as you nodded slowly, unsure of what he was getting at.

“I’ve heard a few things, yes,” you answered honestly and knitted your eyebrows together in confusion.

He cleared his throat and finally looked you in the eyes. “I’ve been having a hard time lately, and I quite enjoy your company. I’d really be disappointed if you didn’t want to see me again, but I do understand.” Draco’s voice was disappointed and soft, and your heart fluttered at his words. He was so kind, and so misunderstood, and perhaps a little mislead, but he was a human nonetheless and he was a human that you already appreciated greatly.

You smiled, and removed his glove from your hand. You reached forward, extending your hand for Draco to take. He hesitated a moment before placing his cold, much larger hand in yours. “I’m not going to let some silly reputation keep me from someone who is so kind to me and makes me happy. I would love to see you again, no matter what other people say.” Your own voice was delicate and reassuring, something you were sure Draco needed at the moment.  You squeezed his hand lightly, pulling him towards you quickly.

He was stiff as you wrapped your arms around his waist, squeezing him gently and resting your head in his chest. For a moment, Draco was as stiff as a statue until he adjusted to the contact he was rather not used to. Then, slowly, he wrapped his arms around you tightly, burying his face into your hair and smiling. “You’re a wonder,” Draco mumbled into your hair, and a smiled spread on your face.

“I thought you said I looked like death?”

[lemons-made-here]

‘Til Alpha Comes Home

Prologue

(A/N) Alpha!Shoto x Omega!Reader, establishes Alpha!Momo x Omega!Ochaco, eventual smut and MomoxOchacoxReader but no adultery. This is the fluffiest thing I’ve written by far. 

Summary :Todoroki is out of Japan for important business meeting, leaving you with another trusted alpha and her omega to take care of you while he’s gone.

Word Count: 1.8k

As always taglists are open and feedback is greatly appreciated, enjoy!

“But Alphaa” You whine, although Shoto got you up before dawn to drive you to your home for the next two weeks, you’re just awake enough to protest.

“Omega, we’ve talked about this” Shoto says sternly, the alpha tone makes your inner omega submit, but in the back of your mind, this still isn’t fair. “I can’t miss this press tour and these meetings, I’ve tried to go through every other possible angle, this is the best route.” You know all of this already, but that doesn’t stop your bottom lip from dropping into a pout.

Shoto turns into the long swirling driveway closed in by a mix of cherry blossoms and weeping willows, with all this foliage, you can’t be sure how long it’ll be until you reach the actual house. You try bargaining one last time.

“Alpha this is my heat you can’t just leave me with some strangers! Why can’t I just tough through this on my own, in the penthouse, with my nest?” Shoto’s glassed over eyes tell you it all before he speaks, he hates leaving you, but this Alpha means you’re in good hands.

Shoto sighs, “They aren’t strangers (Y/N), these are good friends from my UA days, I trust Momo with my life and therefore, you. She’s a good Alpha, she’ll take care of you closest to I would.”

You turn your head to the window to hide your flushing cheeks, even in your cloudy minded heat daze, your heats were memorable to say the least.

“I dropped off scented blankets, pillows and clothes last week, Momo confirmed only the betas in the house have touched them to move them into a scentless room for you to nest. Plus, her omega is a lot like you, I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

As the Bentley pulls in front of the vast mansion, the manicured lawn peppered with pastel forget-me-nots and hyacinths. The Victorian architecture loomed over the two of you as you tailed Shoto, two beta servants grab you things from the back, quickly taking them inside. Shoto stops and turns to you.

“I know this isn’t what you want, I need to know you’re safe and healthy, I can’t leave you all alone to suffer, I- you know how you get during your heats, you can’t eat, drink a thing or sleep without someone there, I don’t need that on my conscience.”

Although you hate to admit it, Shoto is right; before you had an alpha your heats were unbearable, a solid week of throwing up and crying when nothing could satisfy you like a knot. Time after time your parents had sent you to hospitals to recover from the seven day hell. 

Nodding, partly in defeat and partly in agreement, Todoroki smiles and leads you into the house. The two hostesses are in the foyer when you enter, the Alpha Shoto called Momo, nods to you and begins to talk with her plans for the week, general guidelines and needs for when you’re in heat. 

You can’t helping but scrunch your nose at the smell of the two alphas, its not necessarily bad, but the mixing of your alpha’s scent with someone that isn’t you makes your stomach turn.

The alphas stop for a minute, two looking between you and the other omega. You can only see up to her shins from your view of the floor, but her scent is vastly different from what you expected. Its not overwhelming in the slightest, not a hair over too sweet, the aroma of strawberries and lily of the valley put you at ease, just a little.

“Omega” Shoto warns, “It’s not nice to stare, or avoid people, even if they’re new” You cautiously look up to the other omega, and instantly understand her scent. She’s cute, big auburn eyes and a wide smile look back at you, she isn’t much shorter than you but a rush of intimation still rushes down your spine.

“Um, hi” You hum, nodding your head “I’m (Y/N), omega”

“Ochaco, Omega” She smiles, looking to Momo for an approval, once she does, Ochaco engulfs you in a hug, holding you tight, but not too snug.

“I can smell your nerves (Y/N)” Shes says pulling away, rubbing her palms on your upper arms.

“Momo can too” She smiles with a bit of sympathy in her eye “But don’t worry, we’re only here to help, well you’re here so we can help, but that’s beside that point, these two weeks are all about you, so don’t hesitate so holler if you need a thing.”

You can’t help but bite your lip and nod, eyeing the two alphas that have moved from the foyer to the parlor, decked in elegant gold and reds. The couches look almost antique, but still contains a brilliant coloring, the walls were hidden from wall to ceiling in bookshelves or monitors that are currently blank.

Your gaze shifts between the front door and Ochaco, you’ve never felt so out of place. Yes this is technically no different than your penthouse, or when Shoto has his business partners over for dinner, but something’s still off.

“Ochaco darling!” Momo chimes from the other room, smiling at the two of you “Why don’t you show (Y/N) around hmm? I’m sure this is all a lot for her”

Shoto catches your eyes in the last few words, even so far away, he can see you’re tense. He excuses himself from his seat for a moment, striding to face you.

“Doesn’t that sound nice love? Let Uraraka show you the ropes, maybe go check out your nesting room too, I know this is hard baby, but you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t in good hands” He says, shrugging off his business jacket, freshly scent and draping it around your shoulders. Shoto kisses your forehead and nods toward Ochaco, who’s already making her way up the spiral stairs to what you can assume is her room.

You take Shoto in your embrace, inhaling the rich scent of rain, bonfire and spearmint, your alpha would never lead you wrong.

“I’ll try Shoto, for you”

~~

Ochaco guides you to a majority of the house, winding through hallways and grand meeting rooms alike. Currently sat on the edge  of her nest, you run your thumbs along the ears of the peach stuffed dog you’ve been given, scratching behind the ears through the soft faux fur. The sweet omega continues to chirp about her alpha, the property and the plans she has for the two of you to get to know each other. Your mind and eyes drift, the entire room is comforting to any omega, the walls are bare expect for a few painted daisies and glow stars against the orchid branch wallpaper. Fairy lights line the ceiling while a humidifier sits next to a small end table tacked with more blankets and pillows.

The entire nest is about eight feet in diameter, which isn’t too far off from your own, even with all the similarities, like how Ochaco arranges blankets and sweatshirts nearly exactly how you would, you still sit on the far edge of the nest, barely touching the inside. Your mind rocks back and forth whether to scoot back or just ask to leave, but Ochaco interrupts you first.

“I know this is different and weird and probably really scary for you (Y/N),” She starts, resting her hand on yours “And I would be too, so if there’s anything on your mind or rattling around in your head, pretty please get it off your chest okay?” Those brown doe eyes look up at you through your hair, there’s something in them that tempts you to open up.

“Just between us right? Omega to omega?” You question,

“Absolutely,” She answers in a soft tone “I was wondering if the foyer earlier was part of the problem, but trust me when I say both of our alphas are looking out for your best interest.” She assures, pulling you into the nest

“You know, I wouldn’t have brought you in here if I didn’t trust you, its kinda of insulting you haven’t come in yet, is my nest not good enough for you?” She jokes, laying beside you so you’re at an even height propped up against the cushion of a headboard. “You can ask me anything, (Y/N), I’m an open book, both Momo and Shoto get that this isn’t your norm, and neither of them want you to jump into this scared or uncertain”

You chew on your lip for a minute, thinking. If Shoto trusts these two with his life, why are you still so timid?

“Anything?” You whisper, avoiding Ochaco’s gaze, continuing the play with the ears of the dog

“Anything” She hums, tugging a blanket over your form, wrapping you into her sweet scent. Alike earlier, this mix eases the tension from your shoulders.

“I guess I’m still a little confused” You admit shyly, “You two are here to take care of me? Like babysitting for my heat?”

The other omega lets out a breath through her teeth,

“I wouldn’t put it like that, here, how ‘bout I tell you what I know that way we’ll cover our bases!” She beems, carefully taking your hands into hers, cautious to not step over any boundaries. You nod, and Ochaco pulls you a little closer.

“Well, Shoto’s worried about you being alone, from what I’ve heard he’s bee asking Momo for advice about this for months now, trying to get around every possibly.” You nod again, wiggling yourself so you lay closer to her, head tucked under her chin. It isn’t uncommon for omegas to build relations quicker than alphas, the comfort of another omega rivals the company of a trusted alpha. “So he asked me and Momo ti keep you company during the next two weeks, to make sure you’re comfortable and stay healthy. I’m a lot like you actually, I can’t consume a thing during my heats, most of the time want to curl up and spend time with Momo, so they both thought since our heats are so similar, and that their alpha-ness and habits are so similar, you could call this home for a while. We’re here to take care of you not as babysitters, but more as friends, as people who get what you’re going through.” 

A yawn bubbles from your throat, causing Ochaco to releases one too, rubbing smalls in your back while she continues,

“Just know that we want to help, but we’re not going to push you to do something you don’t want to, we’re going to to and warm up to you yes,” another yawn “But you’re gonna get through your heat safe ans sound” 

Your eyelids become heavy as the scent of the room fills your nose, it isn’t anything like either of you, but its still familiar. The mix of sweet frosting, fruit tart and summer gardens eventually lull you to sleep against the other omega. 

[dex-xe]

ahhhhh I'm LOVING these little fics, they're wonderful!! if you're still taking requests and are up for it, maybe "you're just a softie" with fanny and mary? :o

Mary & Kitty Fluff #10: “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

Fanny & Mary Fluff #37: “You’re just a softie.”

(I’m not thrilled with how this one turnedout but I think it’s soft and cute anyway. I have no idea what a girly sleepover consists of,, I have never been to one so someone please enlighten me XD This was posted on ao3 first btw,, as are all my fics - usually about 2/3 days before they’re up on here)

Prompt list

Inbox

After months of begging, Kitty’s fabled 8th of March arrived. Alison had actually decided to bring the date forward by a considerable few moths, feeling guilty about denying Kitty what she had been unable to do for over 200 years: her beloved sleepover.

Alison gathered as many spare pillows and blankets as she could find around the house and piled them onto Kitty’s bedroom floor. She’d had Mike attach fairy lights across the ceiling, creating a low canopy of glowing lights across the room.

Before inviting Kitty, Mary, and even Fanny into the room for her planned girly evening, Alison had had to sit the rambunctious boys down (of which she included Mike) and tell them under no circumstances to enter Kitty’s room. Robin had tried multiple times to join in, Pat had insisted that the next sleepover be for everyone, Julian had even called discrimination - a concept he was familiar with but it was new and novel to be on the receiving end. But after placing ‘keep out or else no TV’ signs on the door, Alison felt confident they wouldn’t interrupt.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Kitty exclaimed, throwing herself down on the bed beside Mary, smiling brightly at Alison. “I’ve never been to a proper sleepover before! Have you, Alison?”

“When I was at school, sure,” Alison plonked herself down on the floor, wrapping a duvet around her to keep her warm under her pyjamas. “Never one with a bunch of dead people though, at least not to my knowledge.”

“What precisely do these nights consist of, Alison?” Fanny asked, perching on the chair beside Kitty’s desk.

“Well, you eat way too many snacks, which I guess isn’t possible. And give makeovers, again not exactly doable. But we can play games and talk about boys, right Kitty?”

“Yes please!” Kitty squealed. “We can give makeovers!”

“We can?” Alison questioned.

“Can I do your hair, Mary? I’m rather good at it, my sister always asked me to do hers. She would never do mine though, it’s a shame she never quite had the time.”

“Alright,” Mary said nervously, glancing at Alison.

Kitty squeaked and reached into her breast pocket to draw out a small tin compact with a tiny fold out comb, an item she had been incredibly pleased to have followed her into the afterlife.

“Won’t it go back to normal soon?” Alison asked, pouring herself a small glass of lemonade.

“Oh I would imagine so, but I am rather good,” Kitty began to carefully brush knots out of Mary’s messy hair.

“So, a game!” Alison said, smiling to herself. “Snog, marry, avoid! The rules are: you get given three guys, literally any men but I suppose we should stick to the men of Button House, and you have to choose one to snog, one to marry, and one to avoid - as in you never get to see them again.”

“What be a snog?” Mary asked, flinching away as Kitty hit a knot in her scraggly hair.

“Stop moving and let me braid your hair!” Kitty gently pulled her back.

“A snog is like a really passionate kiss,” Alison chuckled, watching Fanny pull a face.

“This game is abhorrent!” She scoffed. “I’ll play no part in it!”

“We shan’t tell anyone what you say!” Kitty said with a high-pitched giggle. “I promise! Oh please, Lady Button, we won’t tell if you decide to kiss Julian or someone!”

“If you’re going to scoff at the games, you’ll have to leave. This is Kitty’s sleepover really, don’t spoil it!”

“No, I shan’t spoil it,” she pursed her lips and glared at Alison. “But I reserve my right to not ‘snog’, as you so horrifically put it, anyone.”

“If it will stop you complaining,” Alison said.

“Then I shall ask first, yes?” Fanny contemplated for a moment before turning to Mary perched on the edge of the grandma-duvet bed opposite her. “Mary: you must choose between Robin, and Julian. Yes, and Michael!”

Alison spluttered on her lemonade, “can we not include my husband in the game?”

“Well, you did say ‘any man’, did you not?” Fanny asked.

“I’d snog yer husband!” Mary exclaimed, drawing raucous giggles from Kitty behind her who collapsed back onto the bed, her head fazing through the pillows.

“I regret every decision that has brought me to this moment,” Alison groaned, still smirking into her glass.

“And I marry Robin, cause he be funny and make a good husband,” Mary nodded as if she was saying something incredibly wise and philosophical.

“And then avoid Julian? I can get on board with that,” Alison grinned.

“I woul’ rather he fall mysteriously from a window than marry him,” Mary smiled.

“That’s a fair decision,” Alison said.

“Reasonable choice,” Fanny agreed.

“It be you’re turn, Kitty,” Mary leant back to look Kitty in the eyes. “Pat, yeah? Humphrey, or Thomas?”

Kitty brushed through Mary’s dark hair contemplating for a minute before she came to a predictably Kitty conclusion: “this game is so cruel! I don’t want to avoid anyone, can I marry them all please?!” She cried.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny chastised.

“Good to see you’re getting into the game!” Alison said.

“Polygamy, even in game form, is always unacceptable!” Fanny said.

“I would marry Pat, he seems like a good husband,” Kitty said. The others hummed in agreement, the stories they had all heard of Pat’s life certainly gave off that picture. “And then I would do the... the kiss with Thomas!” Kitty giggled her way through her sentence, but quickly sobered up when reality hit. “Oh no! Oh gosh, then I must avoid Humphrey! No, I can’t leave Humphrey!”

“It’s not real, Kitty,” Alison decided to reassure her rather than laugh. “None of us would ever want to leave Humphrey.” Kitty nodded slowly, dropping the comb she was using to her side and beginning to twist Mary’s dark locks between her fingers. “You have to choose people for me now!”

Kitty stopped to think: “Okay! The Captain, Pat, and Thomas.”

“Modern men for you Alison,” Fanny nodded.

“I’m not sure I’m really the Captain’s type! Don’t reckon he’s ever even looked twice at me!” Alison laughed. Fanny glared at Alison, pressurising her into not going any further with that idea but both Mary and Kitty looked confused at her. “Never mind, so I would definitely marry Pat, I feel like he’d get on my tits less than the others!”

“How dare you talk of Patrick like that? Abhorrent language!” Fanny cried.

“It’s a phrase! It means get on your nerves! Christ, I’d never- I don’t even want to think about Pat- he’s my friend!” Kitty and Mary screeched with laughter as Alison’s cheeks turned more crimson by the second as she buried herself further into the duvet heap. “No more thinking about Pat, thank you! I’d snog Thomas cause I reckon it would literally make his life complete, and then leave the Captain to court... his type.”

“Now, Alison, the Captain is a good man and shouldn’t be written off. He would make a virtuous husband and deserves enjoyment he was denied in life,” Fanny objected.

“Oh I don’t doubt that,” Alison muttered, barely above a whisper with a sneaky smirk plastering her face. “But I am beginning to see how your marriage went so poorly!”

“What?!” Fanny screeched.

“Look!” Kitty said, manhandling Mary slightly roughly to turn her around to show her hair. “I think this is the best I’ve ever done! Look how wonderful this is, Alison!”

Alison jumped up off the floor to inspect Kitty’s hard work: “woah, that is pretty good! Very neat, Kitty, I wish you could do mine!”

“Oh, I wish that too, Alison!”

“Okay, final round!” Alison threw herself back down onto her duvet. “Fanny: Captain - seeing as you have such affection for him, Humphrey, or-“ Alison paused, contemplating who Fanny would hate the most. “Or Julian!” She finished triumphantly.

“Avoid, Julian!” Fanny responded without missing a beat. “And I would not participate in your ‘snog’ with anyone.”

“What, so you’d marry both Humphrey and the Captain?” Alison teased, remembering the disgust that had overrun Fanny when discussing bigamy. She took a small sip of her lemonade and watched as horror spread across Fanny’s face.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny cried.

“So, who will you marry?” Mary questioned.

“Humphrey is lovely, although it might be a little unusual to have a headless husband,” Kitty commented. “But the Captain is also very nice when he wants to be, even if he can be a tiny bit controlling. Occasionally.”

“Well, after my George I think Humphrey would make a welcome break. I am not in need of controlling, thank you!” Fanny nodded wisely. “Humphrey, I believe, was greatly unhappy in his own marriage as well. We spoke at the wedding and he gave me some... rather interesting advice. A thoroughly decent fellow, I believe.”

“You’re just a softie!” Mary commented, looking to Kitty for approval who giggled softly still fiddling with Mary’s braids which were coming untwisted as they were unsecured.

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to get with Julian?” The other three all turned to Alison, who was lying, legs-crossed on the floor smirking up at Fanny. “Well, he’s certainly got the moves to ‘get to know you’ as you said.”

Mary and Kitty collapsed into giggles, clutching at each other from their position on the bed and doubling over with laughter. Fanny’s face crumpled into disgust, before a tiny, hidden smile spread across her face.

Alison continued to tease, digging into a couple of details as what Julian might get up to, causing even more laughter including from Fanny who couldn’t quite maintain the stoic, stony expression as Alison talked.

***

“What are they saying?”

“Shut up, Julian, so I can hear!” The Captain snapped. He was leaning out of the TV room door trying to catch wind of the discussion taking place only a few doors down. Robin also had his head popping through the door, below the Captain also listening intently. They had relocated from the common room to be closer to the secret rendezvous they had been banned from.

“Aw man!” Mike cried. “Fourth loss of the night!” He threw the Xbox controller down onto the sofa beside him and rested his head back, frustrated at his poor performance.

“Bad luck, mate,” Pat said from the chair beside him. He’d taken up the role of Mike’s cheerleader, having convinced himself that he’d be a rather good gamer if he’d been able to play in life. His night of imagining he was playing kept being interrupted by the others creating plans to listen in to Alison. He turned to face the Captain, Robin, and Julian at the door to see the Captain straining around the doorframe. “Guys, stop trying to eavesdrop. It’s a girls night!”

“Hush, Patrick!” The Captain said. “I think I heard your name a moment ago.”

Pat jumped up and sped to the door, finally taking interest: “what do you reckon they’re talking about?”

The house erupted with life as uncontrollable laughter floated down the hallway, pulling silence across the TV room. Mike stood behind where the ghosts were focussed the laughter, listening to only to his wife’s giggles.

“Sleepover with some ghosts, huh?” He mumbled. “This house is weird, man!”

“Mmhm,” Pat hummed.

“I agree,” the Captain said.

“Is strange place,” Robin agreed.

Mike flicked off the TV and walked straight through the men, causing them to double over in nausea.

“Weird place,” he muttered.

[twaigfraggle]

Ledges are a great way to save your relationship.

Hi, so here’s my fic. It’s Robo and a tad hard to follow. It’s based on the season 3 episode Gobos school for explorers. @shadowthezombie here it is! Please excuse any out of character behavior. I’m sorry if this is bad. Love ya and thx for reading!

It had been like this all day. The petty back and forth arguing seemed a bit more angry then usual. Almost as if something had happened earlier. They were tense especially when they got closer together. Wembley found himself picking up on these small details Red seemed a little more standoffish which wasn’t like her. All of her aggression was directed at Gobo and his at her. It was definitely a lot worse then their usual stints of anger toward each other. Which was even more bizarre as they had been close for the past few months, so why the sudden tension? Wembley had tried to ask Gobo about it but he changed the subject with the latest post card from his uncle. When he tried to ask Red she acted like she hadn’t heard him and started talking about something else. Wembley asked Mokey cause she usually knew things but, she was just as unsure as he was. So Wembley just assumed that they had gotten into a fight over something and were taking the petty approach. It wasn’t until years later he had gotten the full story.

March 18th 1985

‘I’m newly single and I love it.’ That phrase replayed in her head over and over again. She and her now ex boyfriend had parted ways a few days ago. Red didn’t wanna be near him but they had to keep up appearances. They were friends after all. They didn’t want people to question why they were avoiding each other. So when Mokey had found her and asked if she wanted to come get the postcard with the group, she forced a smile and nodded. His eyes met hers they broke contact and red glanced at the floor. ‘I don’t know if I can do this much longer.’ She thought. She felt tears but bit her lip and blinked until they were gone. Mokey gazed at her.

“Are you Alright?” Her voice was soft. Red nodded

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“You seem sad.”

“I’m seriously okay Mokes.” Mokey nodded.

“If you say so. I’m just getting bad vibes.”

“I’m not sure why you’d be getting bad vibes Im fine!” Mokey sighed. She and Wembley exchanged a look. Red knew Wembley was worried too but, her relationship had been a secret. They weren’t sure how their friends would have reacted so they kept it hidden. It was only a matter of time before they had gotten into an argument over it. Which of course had led to the breakup. She heard Wembley asking Gobo about her but he feigned ignorance.

“Are you sure you don’t know what’s up with her?”

“No, why would I? She doesn’t tell me anything.” A bold faced lie. Red scoffed lightly. The other three shot her a look. Mokey and Wembley then shot an accusatory glare at Gobo. “What? I told you I had nothing to do with it!” He looked at her. “Right red?” Red huffed and nodded.

“Guys for real I’m Just brooding.” The two walked ahead leaving Wembley and Mokey who glanced at each other.

“Im not sure I believe them.” Wembley muttered. Mokey nodded.

“Something is definitely up.”

*later*

The water was cold. It was March so red assumed it would be. But not this cold. But, she submerged herself completely. She held her breath as long as she could and let herself float aimlessly under the water. When she came up for air she heard some sort of commotion. She rolled her eyes and went back under. When she had inevitably decided to see what all the fuss was about she was greeted by Boober.

“Red! Gobos going to teach us all to become explorers!” Her heart fluttered slightly. She felt proud of him.

‘No he’s your ex boyfriend. You will not be happy for him after the way things ended.’ Mokey had said something but red wasn’t actually listening. She chuckled. “Oh that’ll be the day! Gobo can’t even teach himself how to whistle!” His eyes widened. He had replied to her but red only heard her heartbeat in her ears. They hadn’t been this close since the break up. He tried and failed. Although it sounded fake she laughed as hard as she could. After announcing where they would be traveling too, Boober had pretty much roped everyone into laundry school leaving only four of them. Red didn’t want to go but she had to prove a point. He had given them hats and helped them with their bags. When gobo had helped her, their hands brushed together lightly. They flung their arms apart as if the touch had burned. The hat she was given was too big, red just assumed he did this on purpose. But she was getting pretty sick of those stupid rules. Poor Wembley had fainted from dehydration and he didn’t seem to care. Red was fuming. She took Wembley and Mokey back with her.

“Yeah, Yeah I guess It does take a certain kind of fraggle to follow these rules.” He yelled down.

“Yeah! One who can’t even teach himself how to whistle!” She shot back.

“Is that so?” He was silent for a moment. “You could prolly still get into Boobers school of laundry Red, I think it’s more your speed!” Her face reddened.

“You should stick those stupid rules back in uncle Matt’s sock box where they belong!” She was fuming her hands were shaking tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked them back. “He’s old enough to take care of himself. Let’s go down to the hill and get a drink!” Mokey pointed to the knot still tied around her.

“The last fraggle In the world Id wanna be tied to is Gobo!” She spat venom in her voice, and it was just her luck, the knot wasn’t coming untied. She felt herself be pulled backwards and she fell. She landed on her bag. Her head hurt and her ears were ringing. It was only fair that she was also stuck on a tiny ledge half way to who knows where with her ex. She silently cursed as she stood. As they awkwardly conversed red felt that butterfly feeling when they locked eyes. He was muttering something about the stupid rules and Red had turned away and she heard him whistle and the sound of falling paper. He had an Idea. She gazed In confusion as he mad what he referred to as a parachute. His uncle had written to him about it. Red rolled her eyes. ‘Guess I have to humor him if I want to live.’ Once he had finished he motioned for her to join him. She sighed and stood beside him, instinctively wrapping her arm around him, he did the same. His body was warm but then again hers probably was too. It was getting kinda warm up there. Red felt kind of sick. “This is the weirdest looking thing I’ve ever seen! It’ll never work.”

“It should work Red I’ve thought it out.” His tone was stern. “It’ll work! Well maybe.” After he said that She felt a lump in her throat.

“But what if it doesn’t.” Her voice shook more with each word.

“We’ll drop like a stone.” His tone was grim. Her eyes widened.

“But even if it does work, we’ll end up…”

“Who knows where.” They said it together. She turned to him. There eyes met. They were silent.

“It’s been good knowing ya Red.” She wanted to tell him she was sorry, but, the timing felt off. So she instead leaned into him. Next thing she knew they had jumped. His so called parachute was working. As they descended red began to recognize where they were going. Once they had landed they were swarmed with Fraggles. Their friends front and center. Red smiled at him as he spoke to Wembley. But red once again could only hear her heartbeat In his ears

‘wait can’t he whistle now?’ She thought. So she told the others and just hoped he could. An all too familiar tune came out of his lips. Red felt proud of him. Her smile wide. ‘But he’s your ex.’ Her brain repeated the reminder as Boober continued his classes. Red wandered off stating she needed to rest after all the excitement. She sat down on her hammock. “Oh lanford, you would not believe what happened to me today.” The plant tilted his head at her. “I was stuck on a tiny ledge with Gobo of all Fraggles. It was not enjoyable. Especially with all the tension between us right now. I thought I had moved on. Guess three days isn’t enough time Is it?”

“Red? You in here?” She gasped and hid. Gobo walked in. “Funny I thought I heard her voice in here.” Lanford tilted his head toward where Red had hidden.

“Traitor!” She hisses.

“Red?” He was stood in front of her.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?” Her tone was sarcastic.

“I’m sorry.” He paused. “Not just for today, but, for everything Red.” She looked up at him.

“While I appreciate It greatly. I don’t need your dumb apologies.” He sighed.

“Worth a shot.” He shrugged. Her heart pounded.

‘Oh what the heck’ she muttered. She caught up to him and grabbed his arm. “I-Im Sorry too.” He glanced at her “I also said something’s that I regret. But, I know I’m not gonna regret this.” She cupped his face and kissed him gently. His lips were chapped. Red made a mental note to get something for that from Mokey. When she went to pull back it finally registered In Gobos head what was happening and he grabbed her around the waist pulling her back In. When they parted he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Can we give the dating thing another shot?” Red nodded.

“I’d. Like that a lot.”

Once Wembley had been told the full story the way they acted had made a lot more sense, But he was glad that they were able to fix things. He wasnt sure he could handle the pressure.

[luna-almighty-god]

Guardian Angel N°11 [My little brother, you deserve to exist]

I present to you today the chapter eleven of Guardian Angel!

This story is obviously not canonical, please do not refer to it if you are looking for canonical information.

Have a good read!

===

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

===

Insomnia chirped softly, happy to be surrounded by leaves and pencils on the ground. Nyx had of course taken care to arrange the cushions, as Killer did every time he left his son on the floor, and now watched the child with a gentle gaze, attentive to the slightest of his gestures.

The little one continued to laugh and had fun scribbling on the leaves that fell into his hand. It was fun to watch him change pencils, bend his head to the side as if he was looking for an idea, and then stick out his tongue under the weight of intense reflection.

That baby was just so cute.

Nyx laughed, settling more comfortably in the sofa to watch him. Without really realizing it, his own hands had gotten busy and scribbled a sketch of the child. Drawing was instinctive for him. It came naturally to him to make an artwork, without him really needing to think about it. That's why he didn't like receiving compliments such as "You draw well".

For Nyx did not see beauty in talent, but in effort. Someone who made an effort to draw well, to do something beautiful, was someone who drew well. But someone like him, who didn't care about the end result, couldn't draw 'well', because that same person didn't put any passion into it.

That's why Nyx had always admired Ink. He always gave his all, no matter what the situation was, no matter what his condition was. He tried to do his best, and that was most admirable.

Nyx admired Ink. He loved Ink from the depths of his soul. That innocent love a child has for its parent. For Nyx could never bring himself to hate the painter, even the one in his timeline...

“Gahaaaa !”

Nyx blinked his eyes, leaned his head to the side and saw Insomnia waving at him with a sulky pout:

“Gagaa ! Gaaa !”

He then tapped his can, swelling his cheeks and continuing to shake, and Nyx laughed. He got up and came to find the little one, gently taking him in his arms:

“Are you hungry, little guy? I'll see what I can find.”

Horror was absent, just like the rest of the bad sanses. So Nyx was left to his own devices, but that was not a real concern. He had had the opportunity to take care of a child before ... the sweet, adorable little Lux, whose smile had comforted him so many times ...

Did he also cancel her birth?

He froze, a dull pain gripping his soul. He relived the little girl's look, her joy of life, her optimism, her crystalline laughter, her hugs ...

He closed his eyes, repressing tears. He had promised himself that he would fix everything by coming here... and that included helping Cross go out with Epic, not Dream. Because the swordsman and the guard were like Ink and Nightmare: a couple by compulsion, not by love. Even though Dream and Cross had managed to bond enough to keep from falling into despair...

“Gah... ?”

Insomnia's squeak brought him back to earth. He looked at the child in astonishment, then his eyes widened as the two little hands came to rest on his face and the baby, on the brink of tears, emitted a sob-like twitter.

Nyx felt its throat to knot:

“Oh, Somnia ... Don't cry, I'm all right...”

He kissed him gently on the forehead, caressing his back to comfort him, then approached with a new smile to prove his point. But the child was not fooled and continued to fidget. How to calm him down? Nyx really didn't want to see him cry, especially not for himself ...

An idea suddenly occurred to him. There was one thing that amused Lux greatly, maybe Insomnia would enjoy it too?

Although it seemed silly to him, he checked around him to make sure there was no one around and concentrated to perceive a magical energy in the castle. But as agreed, he was alone with the baby.

He closed his eyes, blew softly, intriguing the child who tilted his head to the side ... before bursting out laughing when Nyx revealed his star-shaped pupils.

The black-boned skeleton laughed, blinked to transform his pupils again, changing them into a pink diamond and a blue square, causing the baby to laugh again. Going through all the possible shapes and colors, Nyx decided to stick to the round, starry shapes and colors such as blue, purple or black, having fun adding shades of pink and red, marveling at Insomnia who was chirping again, happily tapping his little palms.

While continuing his little merry-go-round, Nyx came to the kitchen and used shadows to make his tentacles appear. They searched the cupboards and the fridge, preparing with ease a bottle of vanilla milk - as Killer had recommended.

It was an intense relief to be able to be himself, not to have to be suspicious and hide his pupils or appendages, just to be able to act without worrying about betraying himself to others.

He held a sigh, not wishing to spoil Insomnia's joy. The little one had turned away from his eyes to look at his tentacles in astonishment, before twittering again and waving his own little tentacles, making Nyx smile with tenderness.

“You're so adorable, little guy.”

He kissed his cheekbone and retrieved the bottle. Insomnia quickly grabbed it, excited, and shoved the teat into his mouth, relaxing immediately at the first sip.

Nyx settled him more comfortably in the hollow of his arms and returned to the living room where he sat back on the couch, while his tentacles struggled to put away the coloring and cushions. He thought that maybe he should have invited PaperJam, he hadn't seen him for a while and thought that he and Insomnia could have played together. It would probably be a next time.

If there was a next time...

He tensed up slightly, barely holding on to his feelings, which were just waiting to break the barrier and burst into the open. He had to think of something else, to keep his mind from wandering.

“... gah ...”

He blinked, looked at Insomnia who had gradually released the bottle, half asleep.

Nyx softened:

“Tired, eh ...?”

He retrieved the bottle to put it on the table and then went quietly to the little one's room, gently caressing his head:

“... Me too, I'm tired ...”

He reached the room, entered naturally and gently placed the baby in the bed, making sure it was set up correctly, watching that the room was at a suitable temperature for the little one, taking the time to turn down the heating but still covering the little legs with a thin blanket.

“Go Somnia, go to sleep.

- Gah ....

- Don't worry, I won't stay away.”

The baby tried to respond, but, too tired, he finally closed his eyes, falling gently into Morpheus' arms.

Nyx contemplated him for a few moments, as if hypnotized, without being aware of his pupils turned blue.

He looked away painfully, he let himself slide to the ground with spite.

How did you... For all his love for Insomnia, for the innocence of this young boy, how...

How could he feel so bad? So envious?

How dare he be jealous of such a little baby?

He closed his eyes, put his head against the bed, controlling his breathing as best he could.

He had to hold on.

He had to hold.

He had to...

[He petrified]

He jumped to his feet, his eyes wide open in terror.

[Impossible. Impossible impossible impossible]

There…

There was new magic in the castle.

[A Overly familiar magic]

[Way too terrifying]

He turned around to face the door, suddenly feeling shaky. Magic was approaching its location. Or should I say...

[She approached Insomnia]

Nyx is swallowing. His own magic was camouflaged, not the child's. It gave him the advantage of surprising the intruder. At least he would have had the advantage if he hadn't been so terrified, literally paralyzed by fear.

But he had to move, if only to put the child in the ab-

Her body vanished into the shadows the instant the door slammed, waking Insomnia who squealed with surprise.

The baby blinked, confused, not understanding what was going on, or even why Nyx was no longer at his side. But he trembled under the frightening sensation of a torrent of negative emotions.

He hiccupped, painfully straightened himself up, raising his innocent gaze to the new presence, the newcomer.

He was all the more confused. For if he didn't really recognize the magic facing him, the owner was very familiar to him.

“... Gah... ?” he said leaning his head to the side, not understanding what Ink was doing there.

But despite his young age, he easily understood that something was wrong.

Ink had an unpleasant smell.

A smell of blood and dust.

The little one fell back to his bed, suddenly intimidated, but above all ....

[Completely scared]

It wasn't Ink. It wasn't the Ink he knew. It wasn't the painter who came from time to time to the castle, who laughed with his parents, who kept him company to draw with Nyx.

And by the way ... where was Nyx?

He trembled at the agreement of a laugh. A cynical, dangerous laugh.

The demented laugh of Ink whose pupils had turned purple.

Insomnia remained frozen.

He was just a baby. Just a tiny little baby. How could he have defended himself? What could he have done in the face of an adult far more powerful than himself?

He barely had time to see the brush being held up.

The brush that came crashing down.

Shattering against a sharp tentacle.

“Wha... ?!”  Ink let go of Ink in a stupor, before his pupils suddenly disappeared in a dull rage.

But he didn't have time to react as the shadows fell on Insomnia, drowning him abruptly to make him disappear.

Insomnia coughed, lost, his gaze for a moment veiled by darkness, before he suddenly regained his vision and became more confused: how had he arrived in the corridor? Impossible for him to think about it: Nyx had just appeared and grabbed him in his arms, starting a race through the corridors of the castle, panicked.

“Gah?!” exclaimed the baby as he perceived the older one's bluish pupils.

Nyx did not hear him, turned in a corridor, his mind tortured by his fear and the profusion of insults he was inflicting on himself. What the hell was going on? What was going on? What the fuck was going on?!

[What was his father doing here?!]

The pain that twisted his soul made his bile rise. His phalanges tightened on the child.

[His timeline still existed?]

[How? Why?!]

[How did Ink get here?!]

[THE PORTAL WAS DESTROYED]

He came to curse his magical instability, the fucking instability that kept him from teleporting. The slightest use of magic was twisting him around, and he wasn't inclined to have a seizure now. Not when he didn't have an apple in his hand.

Damn .... Fuckin' ...!

Nyx came into the living room, insulted himself again. His things had remained in his room, including his pencil. Pencil which was his only way to get from one AU to another without using his magic!

He would almost have slapped himself if he hadn't been so focused on staying calm. His only escape: finding paint, praying for it to bring Ink in. The good Ink!

But the idea tied his throat. If the two Inks found out, his cover would be blown, his secret would be understood without the slightest harm!

“...gah or...”

He jumped, looked at Insomnia, who hugged him trembling.

Nyx fainted. The baby was in danger, and he worried that his secret would be discovered? What an idiot! The little one's health was more important than anything else!

He went through the room again in a hurry: he knew there was paint, he had seen Insomnia using it that very morning! So why couldn't he put the hand of...

Nyx threw himself back, narrowly dodged a bone that shattered part of the floor.

The air became much colder than before.

“Alive and well...” Ink's voice growled, cold and angry, as the painter took his time entering the room, his white pupils landing on Nyx in violent disgust.

The skeleton retreated again, the face turned pale. There was no possibility of escape now.

Ink glanced at him scornfully before turning his attention to Insomnia:

“Temporal rewriting... Error and Dream did a good job. It almost could have been a good plan... if they hadn't sent you.”

Nyx tensed up, feeling himself getting weaker and weaker when he came across that hateful look again. And Ink, who fully knew the effect he was having on his son, sneered maliciously:

“What a joke... I guess they should have been the ones to go. But Ruru really didn't measure up to me!”

Nyx's back hit the wall, giving him the painful reality of being completely trapped, while his mind came to torture him again, that a memory made him want to burst into tears. The memory of Ink finishing Error without the slightest remorse.

“... H- He loved you...” Nyx stuttered, squeezing Insomnia a little tighter.

The painter's pupils turned purple before he struck violently at the table, destroying it abruptly, shaking the rest of the room.

“He loved me...? he repeated. He loved me?”

Nyx had no time to react, too destabilized by the situation, and it was in a scream that he felt a bone come out of the wall behind him, a bone that shattered a rib and paralyzed him with pain.

Insomnia made a whimper, squirming in his arms as if to observe the wound, but Nyx held him tightly against it, protecting him with his arms, grimacing as he glanced feverishly at his father.

Ink trembled with rage, as if consumed by an inferno:

“He NEVER loved me!

- That's not true! All you had to do was open his eyes, give him time, not rush him like you did!

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?!”

Nyx's soul turned blue and he was tackled against the wall much more violently. Ink approached dangerously, close to insanity, ready to implode, to destroy everything:

“Did you have fun changing the story? Getting involved in lives that don't concern you?”

Nyx felt the tears burning his eyes:

“... I-it concerns me ...”

His voice broke:

“You are my parents...”

Ink petrified a few centimeters away from him, his eyes devoid of pupils, hit hard by his words ... before suddenly clenching his teeth and materializing a new bone at the sharp end, to plant it sharply in his son's shoulder, in a sinister creak that accompanied Nyx's scream.

“YOU...”

He pressed harder, digging deeper and deeper into the cracked bone, not caring about his son's cry.

“Don't you ever dare to think of me as your father again.”

The black-boned one yelps, terrified, unable to defend himself.

Ink growled again, raised his hand to Insomnia:

“Get off that kid. He doesn't belong here. He's not supposed to exist.”

Nyx hiccuped. It wasn't supposed to exist...? ... Quite the contrary. Insomnia had every reason to exist. It was born of a loving union, it was born because it was wanted. It was born because its presence was desired, because it was proof of a powerful love between two beings.

Insomnia had to exist. Insomnia deserved to exist.

And the fury that seized Nyx finally broke the barrier around his soul. His left pupil glowed bright red.

[His magic exploded]

The surge of energy propelled Ink backwards, although he barely managed to catch up. Seeing Nyx break the bone that held him against the wall, the Creator made his brush appear a second time and threw himself at his son, but the son teleported behind him.

Ink was horrified at being dodged, and had great difficulty deflecting the tentacles that pounced on him. It was only the second time Nyx dared to stand up to him, but the painter had a bitter memory of their last confrontation.

Yet the situation made him smile softly:

“I wonder if you'll dare to confront Nightmare in such a way!”

Nyx turns pale:

“Wha... He's here too?!”

Ink sneered, projected a wave of paint towards his opponent. Nyx missed being touched but melted into the shadows in time to reappear a little further away before once again using his tentacles on the painter. Painter whose smile grew larger:

“Of course he's here! Did you really think you could hide the portal from us? Ahahah, a nice way out, isn't it? Away from our world, which will soon disappear!”

Ink knocked his brush down on Nyx. This one protected himself with an arm, his arm whose wrist was wounded, his wrist whose pain until then attenuated returned more strongly, more destructive than before.

The cry of Nyx got stuck in his throat. He struggled to take support on his legs, trying as best he could to push the weapon away without letting go of Insomnia. And Ink's unhealthy laughter continued, twisting his already battered mind:

“Oh Nyx, your eyes are so evocative! Why is the gate still open, you ask? It had closed behind me, you think!”

Nyx swallowed, feeling lost, unable to ignore his father's words.

“But Nyx, for a gate to close, someone has to close it! But you must not have thought about taking care of it, did you? You thought it would do itself! But just like Cross, that stupid Cross, way too busy saving Dream's ass!”

No ... no no no no! No!

[Nyx had seen the gate disappear]

[He... He had concluded that it had closed. It was obvious!]

“You guys are idiots... So that's why they didn't go through the portal with you? They thought they'd closed up!”

Cross, Dream and Lux... had time to join him after all? Nyx couldn't believe it, couldn't accept it.

No no no no no no no !

*** ***

“Master Cross, it's closing!” Nyx exclaimed in panic as he watched the gate slowly disappear.

Cross had taken a brief glance at him before turning his attention back behind them. In the distance he could see Lux, his dear little Lux, trying to defend herself against Horror and Dust, losing ground and being wounded in the arm, without deigning to give up the battle. And not far from him was Dream. Dream, who tried to join her, to rescue her, but was confronted by Nightmare, against whom he no longer had any advantage.

And of course, Ink was surely around, spying on them with his sadistic air, waiting for the slightest breach to strike a fatal blow.

Cross had clenched his fists:

“Dream and Lux will never be able to join us...”

Nyx had flinched before frowning, staring a feverish look at their enemies, ready to draw out his tentacles:

“Yea... Let's go and help them!

- No.”

Nyx had jumped up, looked at his teacher with a confused look on his face:

“No... ?”

Cross had smiled at him:

“I trust you, kid.”

By the time Nyx grasped the tenor of his words, the monochrome had already pushed him into the portal.

Flash, terror, pain.

Nyx's scream.

“CROSS!!!”

Then nothing. Nothing at all. Silence.

And the sky.

A shining sky.

The sky of OuterTale.

*** ***

Nyx was violently brought back to reality, suffering a sharp blow that threw him to the ground, his skull twitching when he hit the ground. For a moment his sight was black and white, while a coughing fit took him, bringing the metallic taste of the blood to his puck.

He barely had the presence of mind to turn over on his stomach, to protect with his body the little Insomnia whose cries had begun to fill the room.

[Help!]

His body no longer responded, as did his mind.

[Someone, anyone]

His magic crackled, screamed, begged.

[Somebody protects Insomnia, please]

His sight was troubled by his tears, tears that slid down his face, accompanying the sobs that escaped him.

[Please, Somebody… protects my little brother]

He cowered further over the little baby, closing his eyes, apprehensive, fearing the fatal blow, the one who turned him to dust to leave only a child completely helpless.

But the only thing that reached him was Ink's scream.

A bug sounds.

The sound of footsteps.

“What the hell is this?” grew a glitchy voice, both puzzled and annoyed.

Shaken with jolts, Nyx widened his eyes, raised his head.

It was the second time ...

The second time Error saved him from Ink's hands.

===

Next Chapter

You can support me on my Utip or on my Ko-fi account !

===

Credits =

Dreamtale ->  Joku

Error -> LoverOfPiggies

Ink -> Myebi

Cross and Lux -> Jakei

Insomnia -> EnaPouyou

[lookatthestarrynight]

Laughter is the Best Medicine - Chapter Six

Poe Dameron/Doctor!OFC: Poe Dameron has joined the Resistance at the request of General Leia Organa, and he’s finally arrived on the Echo of Hope, the Resistance’s floating base of operations. While on board, he meets the Medical Director of the Resistance and... falls in love? We’ll see.

I’ve also posted this on AO3. Check my masterlist to see what I write for. Please only like, don’t reblog.  Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

Warnings: a pinch of angst and some fluff :) 1917 words.

Two days after they completed their physicals, the Black Squadron left for their first ever highly-classified mission – to Ovanis. The location was the only thing I knew about the operation, and that was only because I’d told the General I wanted to be fully prepared for any planet-induced injuries as well as combat-induced injuries, should the need arise. She’d reluctantly caved, and I’d victoriously marched back to the med-bay to do research.

           They left the morning after the meeting, just as daylight was arriving on D’Qar. I stood with the General to wave farewell, and when the X-wings were finally out of sight, she turned to me with a knowing smile.

           “You’re quite fond of the Commander, aren’t you, Director?”

           “I, uh, I don’t—”

           “There’s no sense in denying it. If I’ve learned anything in all my years in the galaxy, its that you shouldn’t let love slip away – don’t be afraid of anything with beautiful potential, Director.” She turned away from me, walking back into the main building of the base. I stared, open-mouthed, at her retreating figure. Love? I wouldn’t be so bold as to call what I felt love. I shrugged and followed her steps into the base. I had to work to do and standing on the tarmac all day wasn’t it.

           When I reached the med-bay, I found myself pulled back into the swing of things, with hardly a moment to worry about the Black Squadron and their current mission. I stitched two cuts, advised a mechanic on what to do the next time they get grease in their eye, and helped Ilia with a physical for a cadet before Shana dragged me away to lunch.

           “So, where’d the Commander go?” she asked as we sat down with our trays.

           “On a classified mission for the General with his new squadron.”

           “What kind of classified mission?”

           I sighed, staring hard at my sandwich for a moment before looking up. “That’s need-to-know, and I didn’t need-to-know, apparently.”

           “Ah. You worried about him?”

           “Just a pinch.”

           But I’d spoken to soon, because it was in that very instant that the General called me on my commlink.

           “Director Nova speaking.”

           “Director, I need you to come to the Command Center immediately.”

           My heart sunk, “I’ll be right there, General.” I slid my tray towards Shana. “How about you eat this for me?”

           She shook her head. “I’ll pack it up and find you later, alright. You gotta eat even if Poe isn’t on base.”

           “Shana, that’s not even why I wasn’t gonna—” I groaned, “Just message me when you’re done, and I’ll come find you.” I waved and walked away.

           “You’d better, H!” she yelled after me.

           By the time I reached the Command Center, I was sure my stomach had tied itself in a billion knots. I was afraid of what the General would tell me when I got there, and part of me didn’t even want to know what it was. So, when I got there, I stopped outside the door and took a deep breath, and then stepped in.

           I wish I never had, though, because the look on the General’s face was enough to commit all my fears to reality. I swallowed hard and walked up to her.

           I bowed my head in acknowledgement, “General.”

           “Director,” she paused, as if she was afraid of the words she’d be saying next, “Command and the squadron have lost contact with Black Leader.”

           My blood went cold. We couldn’t lose him… I couldn’t lose him.

           “It should only be temporary though – we’re under the impression the issue was caused by a planetary formation of some sort on the surface of Ovanis, but I needed to make sure that you were aware of this, in case your medical expertise is required when they all return.”

           I nodded, but her words did little to remediate my fears.

           “Hera,” I snapped my head up to look at her, “Take a moment if you need one, but I have my full confidence in the Commander and his squadron’s ability to successfully complete this mission with no casualties. Poe will be fine.”

           I nodded again. “Thank you, General.” She nodded and turned back to the holotable in the center of the room. I turned on my heel and left. I knew where I wanted to go – and it wasn’t to go fetch my abandoned lunch from Shana.

<> 

           I sat in the forest clearing for several hours, staring at the water of the stream as it flowed by my feet. It was calm here, and the anxiety that coursed through the base seemed to evaporate inside this clearing – which was something I greatly appreciated right now.

           For a moment, I felt peace, but that was short-lived as I heard the familiar sound of X-wings entering the atmosphere – and then saw them fly over my head, the familiar black and orange Black One leading the charge. I smiled, which quickly turned into a fit of helpless laughter. I stood up and ran towards the path back to the tarmac, just as my commlink buzzed. The caller didn’t wait for me to speak once I picked up – they just cut straight to business.

           “Director, the Black Squadron is returning. Your medical expertise may be required.”

           I ran faster down the path, glad in this moment for the yearly physical training the medical staff were forced to endure for our own “safety and protection.” I made it to the tarmac just as the X-wings touched down – a miracle in and of itself, seeing as they had the head start and the advantage – and stopped only when I made it to where the emergency medical team stood. Shana threw me a look, and I mouthed an apology.

           The noise on the tarmac lessened slowly as ship after ship powered down, and soon it was back to its usual low hum of activity. The pilots all disembarked on their own, and I nodded to the medical team – everyone looked okay, but I still wanted to wrangle them into my med-bay to make sure myself. With that, I turned and headed toward the med-bay – I trusted my staff to bring them to the med-bay without me – and besides, I needed a moment to collect myself before I saw any of them.

           When they arrived in the med-bay, I was waiting for them in the first exam room – gloves on and bandages and bacta patches at the ready. The first one who reached me was L’ampar, and he was fine, with the exception of small scratch on his chin. Then came Jessika and Karé, both nearly unscathed, and then Snap and Oddy, with weak concussions they seemed unwilling to explain to me. The last one in was Poe – considerably more banged up than his fellow pilots. I frowned at him when he walked in, immediately reaching for the cut on his temple.

           “Well, hello to you to, Doc.”

           “What exactly happened to you that didn’t seem to happen to anyone else?” I asked, turning around to grab supplies – and so he wouldn’t see my chin tremor as I asked. He is fine, I told myself, to no avail. I turned back around as he began to answer.

           “Uh, just a little hand-to-hand combat. Nothing too major.”

           I nodded, concentrating on disinfecting the cut – it was weirdly the only significant one on his whole face. He winced.

           “Sorry, should’ve warned you it would sting a bit.” I muttered, grabbing my materials for the few stitches the cut would need.

           “It’s alright, I can barely feel it.” He grinned, which faded slowly when I didn’t smile back. He quirked his eyebrows in confusion.

           “You good?”

           “I’m fine – could you stop moving your face, though? Makes my job difficult.”

           “Uh, sure.”

           I nodded, quietly beginning my stitching.

           A minute later I was done. I applied a small bacta patch, my hands shaking as I gently pressed it into place on his temple. He frowned and his hands reached up to hold my wrists, bringing them down between us. He gingerly pulled my gloves off and placed them on the table next to us with the other used supplies and laced his fingers with mine.

           “What’s up with you today, Hera?”

           I bit my lip. “Nothing, I was just worried, that’s all.”

           “Well, I’m all good now – you’ve made sure of it,” he gave me a small smile, his thumb running over my hand.

           “I know, I just – I can’t help but worry about you.” My eyes burned, and I willed myself not to cry. He is fine, I repeated in my head over and over. He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine. My eyes still burned.

           He let go of my hands and reached up to hold my face, “This okay?”

           I nodded lamely, a tear falling out of my eye. His thumb brushed across my cheek and caught it, wiping it away.

           “That’s not the whole problem, though, is it?”

           I nodded again, swallowing hard. “I – When the General told me they’d lost contact with you,” I took a deep breath, “I just, I realized that I, I—” I squeezed my eyes closed, “that I like you more than a friend should.” I opened my eyes to peek at him, afraid of his reaction, and found myself surprised by the huge grin on his face. He pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. He smelled like the forest and engine oil and blaster fire – and I burrowed into his chest a little more. He pressed a small kiss to my hairline, and whispered into my ear:

           “Well, I like you more than a friend should, too.”

           I grinned into his flight suit and squeezed my arms around him. He winced, and I pulled away.

           “Where else are you hurt?” I asked, pulling on another pair of gloves.

           “I think I’ve just got a big bruise over my ribs, is all.”

           “Undo the top bit of you flight suit anyways – let’s make sure it’s nothing serious.”

           He nodded, a coy grin on his face as he undid the flight suit – and revealed a rather nasty bruise on his side, right above his ribs.

           I frowned, gently touching it. He winced.

           I grabbed some bacta cream, “This might hurt a bit for me to put on, sorry.” I applied it as carefully as I could, but he still grimaced as I worked.

           When I was done, I cleaned up the mess I’d made and threw my gloves into the compactor bin before turning back to him. “You’re all good to go now, Poe.”

           He hummed in acknowledgement. “I think I might just stay here with you for a bit, first.”

           I laughed. “Well, at least go get changed if you’re going hang out with me in the med-bay for the rest of the day.”

           He nodded and stood up, walking over to me. He put his hands on my waist, staring at me for a second, and then his eyes darted down to my lips and back up to meet mine.

           “May I?”

           I nodded, and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine and leaning into me. His grip on my waist tightened and I threaded my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

           A moment later, he pulled away – breathless just like me – and grinned. “I think that was a long time coming.”

           I snorted, “Maybe just a little bit.”

[noonaduck]

BTS - Sweet Dreams pt.7

Pairing: OT7 x reader Gendre: Fantasy AU, fluff, smut(?), angst words: 1530 Summary: Eight dreams and eight powers, tied together. Would they fall or would they rise? Y/N had seen dreams about seven men as long as she could remember. Namjoon was a regular guy who worked in a small bookstore. Jin has finally reached his dream and opened his very own cafe. Yoongi was a heir with future which was already planned for him. Jimin and Hoseok were partners in everything what they did in their life. Jungkook was an artist with complicated past. Taehyung was a knot which bond them together. Together they all were a circle with awakening powers. 

6. < 7. > 8.

[Gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Taehyung's Pov. Taehyung keeps staring at his computer screen and frowns. He feels so frustrated about yesterday's events. After he had told everything for his new circle he had hoped to get more positive reactions. People did not seem to react well when everything that they know turns upside down. At least he did not get denial from everyone, but Y/N and Jungkook were hard cookies to break. Taehyung knows a lot about computers, so It wasn't that hard to find out about everything from everyone. Nana had told their names for him after all. Since he has been little all kind of electronic devises has been on his interest list. Thanks for that belonged to his late parents who were both working with computers. His father has been computer engineer and her mother has worked in marketing department in same company. Taehyung was greatly surprised that one of his circle members was heir of that corporation. Min Yoongi, heir of KOBRA corp. There wasn't anything mysterious about their deaths, an armed robbery had gone terribly wrong and his parents and one another hostage had lost their life. Luckily the robber, who was been under influence of drugs, was rotting in the jail for rest of his life. Even tough Yoongi has nothing to do with his parents death his last name brings memories back about his past. Taehyung brings his focus back to mission and keeps scrolling down on Hoseok's Instagram account. There is some selfies and dance videos, those does not really gain his interest. He bumps into post where sad looking Hoseok looks at his camera. description box's words makes him cringe for little bit. 'Me & @Chimchim missed our turn on yesterday's competition for personal reason. Better luck next time, I hope.' It was Taehyung's fault that had happened. He had done some hacking works for The Coffin's owner Zeke and used it for his benefit. Taehyung had asked to bring Hoseok and Jimin to him, even when he knew how much dancing meant for them. Nana had told him that sooner he gets them all together than better. There is a knock on his bedroom door and Nana steps in. Today her hair is on loose bun and she is wearing long sleeved grey tunic over her pants. heavy opals are hanging from her ears. ''What do you need?'' Taehyung asks and spins around with his chair to face his grandmother. ''I have something to give for you.'' She says and steps closer to her grandson. Taehyung's room is small ans most of his space takes his computer station. Walls are painted with olive green and his bed is pushed in front of his window. He does not have a wardrobe in his room because he has turned an attic into his fashion studio. He keeps his clothes there with his sewing machine and other sewing supplies. Stairs to the attic was located right next to his room.  On left side wall next to his bed is hanging a huge grey dream catcher. Quite useless if u think it now. ''What is it?'' Taehyung asks curious. His grandmother opens her palm and there is laying a bracelet made of black stones. Taehyung looks at his grandma with curiosity. ''This bracelet belonged to your grandfather and now I want to give it for you.'' She says and takes Taehyung's right wrist into her grip. Without a word she slips the bracelet at it place.

Taehyung is quite surprised, because usually Nana refuses to talk about his grandfather. He looks his new bracelet with wonder. ''Why you are giving this for me?'' he asks. ''It will protect you as long as the stones touches your skin. You must promise me that you will never take it of if you are without your circle members.'' Her grandma says with gentle voice. Even tough her voice is gentle her eyes are serious. ''Why grandpa would have something like this?'' Taehyung is turning more confused. Nana takes a deep breath. ''Because he was member of my circle.''

* Y/N's Pov. Jungkook is still sleeping next to you when your phone begins to vibrate on your pants, which are still located on bedroom floor. You push yourself up from the bed and hurry towards your pants pocket. You press the green button and put your phone on to your ear. ''Y/N finally, I was ready to put police after you.'' You hear Cloe's worried voice on the line. ''I'm so sorry, I totally forget to let you know that I'm fine.'' You say ashamed. You had totally forgotten about Cloe with everything that had happened last night. ''What happened?'' Cloe asks more calmly. ''Wait did you perhaps leave home with that guy you were about to meet?'' She is turning excited. ''Maybe...'' ''I fucking knew it. It was about time that you got laid. How was it? Was he good at bed? Did he treat you right?'' Cloe almost yells at phone and you see Jungkook sifting in his sleep. ''Shh, calm down,he is still sleeping. It was, It was good. He was good to me. How about you, did you have good time with your guy from yesterday?'' You ask knowing that Cloe likes to talk about herself. ''Oh my god no. It turned up that he had a girlfriend who ended up causing a scene on the club. I slipped away and waited for the dance/rap competition to began but for my luck neither Jimin or Hoseok showed up...'' Cloe keeps going and you let her speech go in from one ear and out from another. ''Y/N?'' Jungkook asks with raspy voice. He gets into sitting position on his bed and looks around with sleepy eyes. His brow hair is messy like a birds nest and his face is lost. ''Cloe, listen I have to go. I will call you later.'' You interrupt your friend. ''Ah, I see. Have fun and don't worry about me. Call me when you can, bye'' Cloe says knowingly and ends the call. ''Yes?'' You ask shyly. You are scared about what is going to happen next.

Before Jungkook has a chance to answer both of your phones beeps at the same time. ~You have been added into chat group Dream Catchers with seven other people.~ ~TaeB0lt has added Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Y/N L/N & & Jeon Jungkook~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Kim Seokjin's username to Doctorhandsome~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Kim Namjoon's username to LeaderofShadowsss~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Park Jimin's username to Fl0werdude~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Min Yoongi's username to Pale_Icecube~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Jung Hoseok's username to SunhobiNy~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Y/N L/N's username to Copy.paste.princess~ ~TaeB0lt has changed Jeon Jungkook's username to hot_kookie~ TaeB0lt: *Hello.* Pale_Icecube: *WTF? How did you get my number and what is going on with this username?* Fl0wedude: *I was thinking about it too...* ~SunhobiNy left the chatroom~ ~TaeB0lt added SunhobiNy~ SunhobiNy: *!!??* Taeb0lt: *There's no escape Hobi. It wasn't that difficult to get your numbers when you know what you are doing. And I thought that our usernames are creative.*

LeaderofShadowsss: *Tell me again, why I'm leading this group?* TaeB0lt: *Because you're smart and maybe because you acted like our leader even when we didn't knew what was going on.* DoctorHandsome: *True, Namjoon acted like everything was under his control even in our dreams.* ~Copy.paste.princess is typing....~ You decide to not say anything and delete your message. hot_kookie: *Was there some point for this chat room or did you just came here bully us?* TaeB0lt: *Ah indeed, I'm glad that you asked @hot_kookie because I'm right behind your door.* Door bell rings and you and Jungkook freeze. You look at each other and your naked forms. You and him begin to move at the same time both reaching for your clothes. ''How he knows where I live?'' Jungkook asks while he keeps pulling his pants up. ''How I'm supposed to know?'' You question back while searching rapidly for your bra. Doorbell rings again, but with more demanding tone. Jungkook pulls his shirt from yesterday hastily over his head and heads out of the bedroom and towards his front door. You keep still collecting your clothes when you hear Taehyung's distant voice. ''Hello kookie, I'm sorry to drop in without a notice, but I knew that even if I would let you know that I was coming you might not be happy.'' Taehyung keeps chatting. You have found your clothes and you sneak out of Jungkook's bedroom. His bedroom leads on hallway with a glass railings. You could easily see what happened downstairs. ''How did you know where I live?'' Jungkook asks annoyed. His looks were rather messy even more when compared to Taehyung. He was wearing black leather jacket with white t-shirt paired with black jeans and boots. ''I have quite good computer skills.'' He shrugs. ''Oh hi Y/N? Wild night, huh?'' Taehyung smirks and waves his hand to you. Damn, you thought that he hasn't noticed you. You walk awkwardly down the stairs and stop next to Jungkook. ''What are you doing here?'' Jungkook asks crossing his hands in front of him. ''I thought that we should have a new meeting after everyone have calmed down. Talking about meeting  you don't mind that I texted your address for everyone right?'' Taehyung ends with wide smile. ''You what?'' Jungkook asks angry and right then the doorbell rings again.

[welcometotheheartbreakhotel]

whenyoulovesomeone

Pairing: Ateez Mingi & Y/N

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Word count: 2921

summary:

after a long night of staying up, waiting for your boyfriend to get home from yet another late practice, you take notice of just how tired and run down your boyfriend mingi looks and it breaks your heart knowing what little there is for you to do than to love him and stand by him. 

it wasn’t rare for mingi to be home late. it was quite the norm, really, but today was peculiar. he always made it home no later than 1am, and it was well past that right now. you knew the boys were preparing for a comeback and were probably working endlessly to master choreography. they were always persistent, a trait you greatly admired.

you knew that mingi wasn’t too keen on ou staying up so late waiting for him, but with each minute he wasn’t home, the more anxious you become, worry filling your mind. you plopped down on the sofa, turning the tv on to fill the silence of the empty room, flipping the channel to an old rerun of the notebook.

at around 3:15am, the familiar sound of keys jingling and the lock switching signaling the arrival of your boyfriend interrupted your lazy viewing of the movie. you watched as he tiredly nudged his sneakers off, his shoulders drooping in a mix of emotional and physical exhaustion. your lips formed a small pout as you heard him sigh loudly, having struggled to slip his left shoe off due to the tight laces.

“you made it home.” you mused, as you called out to him from your place on the sofa.

“you’re still awake.” he stated matter-of-factly, as he made his way to the living room.

mingi, without much warning, let himself fall face-down onto the sofa you were currently seated at, his head on the pillow on your lap.  your lips curled into a small smile, your hands reaching to comb their fingers through his soft, ebony hair. you felt him sigh against the pillow, his shoulders rising slightly, and he gently nuzzled your hands, signaling you to keep doing your previous minitrations. you obliged.

“long day, huh?”

‘mmhm.” he answered, his voice muffled. you idly combed through his hair with your fingers, hoping to bring some comfort to him. 

you leaned down to press a kiss to the back of his head. as soon as your lips touched his head, your nose caught the heavy smell of wintergreen, and your lingering eyes found what you could easily identify as pain relief tape peeking out from the collar of his shirt. he must be so sore and tired, you thought..

“you guys practiced a lot today.” you said.

“mmhm,” he hummed.

“your body must be hurting from how sore it is.”

you felt mingi shift his body around so that he could look at you. dark circles pooled at the bottom of his eyes. his eyelids appeared to weigh tons as they struggled to open whenever the closed. your heart ached at the sight before you. you wanted to support mingi in the pursuit of his dreams, but having to watch his body and health deteriorate whenever the group had a comeback made you heart hurt.

“im okay, though.” he smiled, tiredly. “it will pay off.”

“im sorry.” your voice was soft, you felt that if you spoke just a bit louder your voice would break and you'd cry from the heartache.

“why are you sorry?” his tired eyes widened, just a little, as they gazed up at you, trying to gauge your expression.

“because i can’t do anything to make you feel better.” you looked down at him, your hand gently caressing his cheek. you could feel tears at the brims of your eyes, but you didn’t dare let mingi see them fall. “the only thing i can do is just be here.”

“and that’s more than enough.” his hand took yours in his and pressed it against his lips. it was something so small, and yet that gesture brought some ease to your heart.

“let’s get you to bed, okay?”

taking his hand, you led mingi to your shared bedroom, but not before leading him into the attached bathroom to help him wash up. he pouted as you lathered facial cleanser on his face to remove any makeup he had on for the day.

“the water’s too cold~” he shivered, as you splashed a handful against his face to rinse the soap off.

“baby, its warm.”

“but it still feels cold.” he looked up at you with the most heart-wrenching pout and puppy dog eyes..

“im done, though.” you said, patting his face dry with a soft towel.

“hmmm….”

you applied some night cream on his face, taking your time to make sure his face was entirely covered and moisturized. every now and then, you noticed him nod off and you took advantage of one of those quick bursts of sleep to briefly walk out of the bathroom to retrieve some of his sweats and a clean tee from the drawers in your closet only to come back to find a very sleepy mingi pouting, as he looked longingly at you.

“you left.”

“i just went to get you clothes, baby.”

“but i was alone.”

“baby, i was literally gone for 10 seconds.”

“10 seconds is 10 hours in mingi time.” he said, matter-of-factly.

“im sorry,” you gently rustled his hair with one of your hands.” now, come on. let’s get you out of these clothes and into something more comfortable for you to sleep.”

you had to do most of the work, mingi being too tired to even open his eyes, you started by slipping the flannel off of his broad shoulders.

“arms up.” you told him, and like a child, he sleepily raised his arm above his head, allowing you to slip his t-shirt over his head. you nudged for him to stand up, to which he whined quietly.

mingi practically forced himself to stand, but just barely. his legs wobbled from how tired he was, and ultimately, you had to put his hands on your shoulders for him to stay upright. your fingertips lightly touched his tummy as you tried to undo the button of his jeans.

“babe, i’ll never say this ever again in my life… but i’m too tired to-”

“song mingi, i can’t let you sleep in jeans.”

“hm?” his tired eyes blinked at you, confused.

you chuckled. “‘i’m trying to take off your pants so i can change your clothes, not to get freaky.”

“why not?”

you rolled your eyes. he was always like this when he was tired. just a giant baby, even if it was abut something as unchildlike as having sex.

“you just said you were tired.”

“i can drink coffee if you want me to.”

“what i want is for you to rest.”

you managed to get him out of his jeans without much struggle. he took the sweats from the bathroom counter, and put them on, wobbling a bit. you got his t-shirt to help him put it on, but he took it from your hands, and again, much like a child, he put the shirt on arms first, getting his head somewhat caught in the neck hole. 

with a small smile, you helped him pull the shirt down, coming face to face with him, his cheeks flushed. you took his face in your hands and pressed a small kiss to his lips. you could feel him tense up a bit from bewilderment, but nonetheless, met your lips with equal pressure.

taking his hand again, you led him out of the bathroom. both of you took to your designated sides on the bed, mingi wasting no time to plop himself onto it, sprawling his long arms wide, motioning for you to come into his embrace, and you, almost too willingly, obliged.

being in mingi’s arms was a feeling like no other. it was one of your most favorite feelings in the world, your most favorite being was every time he told you he loved you. being in his arms made you feel so loved, without him having to say anything. so protected, without having to be in the face of danger. so warm, without being cold. 

“what are you thinking about right now?” he asked, his voice soft.

“my favorite place..”

“oh? and where’s that?”

“right here,” you said, wrapping our arms around him tightly, looking up at him with a smile.

“that’s so cheesy.”

“and what about it?” you rose an eyebrow. “if im cheesy, you’re wine-y.”

you looked up to steal a glance at him, only to catch him cracking a smile as he tried to hold back laughter. a small bubble of a giggle emerged from his lips, and the sound brought you to laugh along with him. his laughter was small compared to his usual booming thunder, but it was still enough for his eyes to turn into the crescent ,moons you loved so much. 

it was moments like these, where you’d catch him being so innocently happy that made your heart twinge in absolute happiness. he was so beautiful when he smiled, and he had no idea just how breathtaking he was. you were so in awe of his beauty, you hadn’t realized you’d gone silent.. 

mingi looked down at you, curiosity in his eyes, and for a moment, that’s all there was. just the two of you, silently staring at each other, with the faint traces of smiles on your faces.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, quietly.

“”you’re so pretty.”

“no~ really.” he rolled his eyes.

“i’m serious.” you lightly caressed his face with your hand. “you’re the prettiest when you smile.”

a soft blush tinted his cheeks and he looked away for a moment to try and gain some composure.

“that’s my line.”

“it’s mine now.” you smiled. you hesitated a bit before continuing. “i want you to always smile and be happy. every time i see you so tired and sad, it makes me want to take you far away so that i can make you happy and keep your smile.”

“babe…”

“i know, i know.” you sighed. “you’re already doing what you love and what makes you happy. i just wish that it wouldn’t get tough for you and that the company wasn’t so hard on you guys about constantly having to work and practice. you already work so hard. i wish they could see what i see. how tired you are when you get home. how swollen your feet get from all the dancing. remember when we had to cut your shoes off because of how swollen your feet were? or how you had to go to a physical therapist because of how stiff your back muscles had gotten from all the knots caused by stress? seeing you silently suffer like that made me so sad. all i want is to take that all away. there are times when i wish for it to be me going through your pain, so you won’t have to.” you looked up at him again, but his eyes were focused on the wall across the room. you could tell that they were glassy and beginning to tear up.” oh no… baby, no. i didn’t mean for you to cry.”

“i’m not.” he lied, rubbing at his eyes. “i just… i didn't know you felt like this.”

“it’s all i can think of sometimes. especially when i wake up and i see you’ve gone to practice early, or like tonight and you come home so late. you don’t see yourself, but you’re all i see, so believe me when i say that it kills me to see you tearing yourself apart to give your best.”

he stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about what to say. ”i want to show the world that i can do it. that i can be great. that i can be everything that they said i couldn’t be. i honestly don’t care about what i have to do or what it takes. i can forget how hard it is for me, or how much i’m hurting as long as i have you by my side. just the thought of you is enough to get me through the day. i want to be able to provide for you and make you proud of being by my side. i want… i want to be the man that has the privilege to love you, that deserves to be with you, because babe, i honestly don’t deserve you.”

“do you really think that?” your eyebrows knit together. you’d always had it backwards. it was you who didn’t deserve someone as amazing as mingi.

“mhm.” he nodded, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.

“baby, no,” you tsked, “you are so great. so much greater than you even think you are. this world isn’t even ready to see just how great you are and can be. if anyone doesn’t deserve anyone, it’s me.” you sighed. “ you’ve got so much going for you. you’ve got your rapping, your dancing, you can even sing, for fucks sake! you’re handsome to top it all off, and it’s kind of unfair just how much of a full package you are.”

“stop~”

“no, but i’m serious. you’re everything i could ever want and beyond.” you gathered his face in your hands, making him look at you. “don’t you know how amazing you are?”

his eyes were wide like a child, so innocent and beautiful. he shook his head no, and the image made your heart swell. you pressed a kiss to his lips once more, the second of the night. it was the smallest of gestures, but you wanted to show him how much you loved and cared for him. you wanted to show him that as chaotic as the world might be, you’d be there to shelter him from it all. to protect him and bring him peace. you wanted to make his world easier to live in, so that he wouldn’t have to struggle anymore.

you felt him hesitate before he returned your kiss, the pressure he provided being needy, but not in a lustful way. no. in a need that wanted you closer. closer than the contact of skin on skin could provide. you felt one of his hands reach up to touch your face, the other that had been resting around your shoulders pulled you in closer.

“always be with me, hm?” he asked. “can you promise me that no matter what happens, no matter how early i leave or how long i stay out to practice, or how often i might miss important days, or how tired i might be to give you the attention you deserve, that you’ll always be there for me to come home to?”

“mingi…”

“will you be my home, y/n?” he waited eagerly for your answer. “please?”

“baby, of course you know i’ll always be. you’re mine.” you knew just how big mingi’s heart was, but it always leaves you in awe just how tender and soft-hearted he really was. he was someone filled with so much, so ready to give it to the world. you touched his face, gently rubbing your thumb under his eyes, hovering the dark circles that pooled beneath. “baby?”

“mhm?” 

“will you promise me to rest more? if you don’t, you’re going to end up getting sick, or worse.” you felt him stiffen, about to protest, but you quickly cut him off. “this is all i ask. i need you to be healthy, and here for me to stay and wait for you. as long as you do that, and take care of yourself properly, i will always be here to welcome you with open arms and take care of you if you need me to.”

“hmm…” he thought for a moment, before he stuck out his pinky finger. “deal.”

you giggled at his childlikeness, and curled your pinky finger with his. “deal.” together, you both kissed your thumbs, sealing the promise. “ come on. let’s see if we can get  you to sleep for a few hours, hm? you must be tired to death.”

“it’s okay,” he mumbled. “i love talking to you any chance i can get. these were words i needed to hear. this was the strength i needed.” he slid his body to lay horizontally parallel to yours.

you wrapped your arms around him, and began to comb your fingers through his hair.  you could feel mingi relax in your embrace. his steady breathing tickling your neck. softly, you began to hum a lullaby. one that was familiar between the two of you, that you both knew all too well. 

it was the song you two had danced to at the party where he had confessed to you. when he had told you all the feelings he had been harboring for you for so long and how he promised to give you the world if you’d be willing to give him the chance.

since then, the love you shared grew. so much so, that it overflowed onto moments like these. only two people as in love as the two of you would have an emotional discussion about not resting enough and about just how much you loved each other. as mingi’s soft snores began to fill the room, you realize just how much you wouldn’t have it any other way. it was amazing just how much you loved him and how you’d do absolutely anything and everything in the world and in your power to make him happy. it was in these moments, just before you joined mingi in his slumber, that you realized what an odd and amazing thing it was to love someone because this is how it is.

[thedyingmoon]

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

LXVI. Goodbye

***

"Captain Levi?"

"(F/N)."

She can't believe her eyes. It really was Levi, himself.

But, what was he doing here?

"W-what are you doing here?" (F/N) stuttered, not really prepared for this particular encounter.

"I have come to confirm Hange's news." he answered. "Turns out it is true."

Silence.

For a moment, none of them uttered a single word. The two of them just stood there trying their best to avoid each other's eyes. That was until (F/N) noticed Levi's clothes, which was the official uniform for the veteran Soldiers for the Scouting Legion.

Levi noticed the reaction on (F/N)'s face, so he provided the answer, himself.

"I just got back in the Legion." he said.

"Oh."

More silence. Just when she was about to utter the words she had been rehearsing for when they would finally meet, words like, why didn't you come sooner?, I have been waiting for you!, and what took you so long?, Levi went a bit closer to her as he took out something from his trench coat pocket. It was her old diary which she left at the Dawk Residence. And he was handing it to her.

"How did you get that?"

"Jonas gave it to me." Levi answered truthfully. It was handed to him by the teenager after (F/N) has left their household. The boy seriously believed that their relationship could be fixed, and that they would start all over again the moment they sit down and talk about matters that caused their misunderstanding.

(F/N) knew deep within her heart what Levi was planning, and despite her wanting so much to take the diary from him, she simply refused him by taking a few steps away from him as if he was bearing the plague.

Levi saw this and was completely hurt.

"Y-you don't want it back?" he asked her, the pain clearly heard from his voice.

"You can have it. Or you can throw it away, Captain Levi." she said, emphasizing on his official, give title.

"Why would I throw it away?" Levi said to her.

"I said if you just wanted to." (F/N) answered, the fire in her voice purely accidental. A thing which she greatly regretted.

However, Levi did not know this as he quietly and dejectedly put the diary back to his pocket. There were just two things in his mind, and he narrowed them down into his only options. The first one was what Jonas wanted, and the second one was what he didn't really want, but have to work on, anyway.

And, it seems that he had to go to the second choice, seeing that ring on her left finger. She was, indeed, getting married.

Yes, he has finally made a decision.

"I have also come to let you know about our incoming Expedition outside the Walls." he said.

"Oh. Alright, then." she simply answered, knowing that Levi, Humanity's Strongest Soldier, would surely survive the mission.

At this point, Levi was beyond hurt and heartbroken; (F/N) didn't really care about him anymore.

(F/N) couldn't possibly know what Levi was going through as of the moment, but when he finally smiled a genuine smile at her, she finally noticed her mistake,...

... and complete stupidity.

"I wish you well." he said, pain in his voice and a simple smile on his lips. "Live long and always be happy, (F/N). Goodbye."

(F/N) had no time to answer as the man quietly made his way outside without ever turning back.

The painful scene between the two of them that played in the living room still played in her head for two more weeks right until her wedding day. The thought about how Levi sounded hurt upon her rejection haunted her like a restless ghost, and it honestly gave her numerous sleepless nights. Observant Claire and shy Rogers both noticed this, but they weren't the only people who noticed.

Erwin Smith, who just came out of the Hospital, noticed how (F/N) rarely smiled. And whenever she did, it felt forced and filled with sadness. Of course, being a man of utter curiosity, he searched for the answer, himself.

And, of course, being a man who always gets the results he wants, he got his answer. And apparently, it was directly related to the Captain's visit and the Legion's announcement that they were going on an Expedition to secure a safe route towards Shiganshina District. But then, (F/N) couldn't be sad because of that, right? After all, one of his dreams would finally come true - he was finally going to marry her. And it was purely coincidental that it would take place on the same day as the Expedition.

***

The day has finally arrived, the day when their wedding would take place. It was also the day of the Expedition.

(F/N) woke up feeling wrong at different sections of her body. Her neck felt stiff, her eyes looked puffy, even her hair was a complete and unmanageable mess that it took her personal handmaiden almost five hours to make her look at least presentable. The wedding would take place at one of the oldest churches in Wall Rose where the elites of Wall Sina would not reach them. It was Erwin's decision, and (F/N) went gladly along with it.

With her white wedding gown and a small entourage of servants, along with the loyal Rogers and the Dowager, herself, they went towards the location of the wedding where Erwin was waiting. And when they finally arrived, (F/N) saw Hange in full uniform waiting just outside the church.

"Hello, (F/N)." she said and waved.

"Miss Hange, what are you doing here?" (F/N) asked as the other woman engulfed her in a warm hug and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Oh, I just came to see my two closest friends finally tying the knot."

"Weren't you supposed to be on an Expedition?"

"Yes. We would leave in two hours."

"Oh."

It was a cool and nice day, perfect for both a wedding and an Expedition. And of a nice little stroll outside.

"(F/N), would you mind if I talk to you for a while?" Hange asked as she gestured at the gazebo on the garden right beside the old stone church.

(F/N) shrugged her head and followed the woman towads the gazebo.

Hange remained silent until they reached the place she indicated, and when she finally shared the reason of her presence right before their wedding despite of her hectic schedule as the new Commander, (F/N) fervently wished she just stayed in bed and not get up.

"(F/N), this might be our last Expedition." Hange began.

"Why?!" (F/N) asked, alarmed of the gravity on Hange's voice.

"Listen: I think we know who the Armored and the Colossal Titans are."

"What?! Are you serious?!"

"Yes. We are planning to ambush them while they were trapped outside the Walls with nothing but mindless Titans and a full load of traps. Of course, we laid out a plan to prevent them from transforming. But, that does not guarantee our Soldiers' safety. Some, no, most of us would surely die in this mission."

"No, no, no, Hange! You can't be serious!"

Hange just smiled and gave her another warm hug.

"Sadly, I' am. I wish I was joking, but I think this is goodbye."

At the mention of that dreaded word, tears began falling down (F/N)'s face. She tightened her hold on Hange, not wanting to let her go. But, the woman noticed this and pried her free witout much of an effort.

"I'll be stationed together with Levi and his new Squad at the front. We'll be the first ones to retaliate should our initial plan fail."

"Levi?"

"Yes." Hange took (F/N)'s lace - gloved hands into her own and held them so tightly,...

... like she would never see each other ever again.

"I wish you well, (F/N)." Hange said. No, not those words, again!

"Hange, wait!"

"Goodbye, (F/N)." the bespectacled woman uttered, leaving her there alone in the gazebo.

The moment was still in her mind as she somehow made her way towards the massive entrance of the church together with Jonas, who was looking very handsome in a dark suit and tie. The boy, despite his strong opposition, was asked to walk (F/N) down the aisle in the absence of her own father. She didn't even hear the organ as it started playing in the background. She was only brought back to reality when Jonas took her left arm and latched it unto his right.

"Come on, Lord Smith is waiting for you." Jonas whispered to her, effectively calling her attention.

(F/N) was startled upon realizing that she was finally walking  down the aisle of an old church for real and not in a dream. Right there on the altar was Erwin, looking so devastatingly handsome in a white suit and tie, but with a solemn look on his face. It was then that (F/N)'s visions of Levi wearing a black suit came back in her mind, of him waiting for her at the altar,...

... of him and her welcoming a beautiful child in their arms,...

Then, the sweet vision was suddenly transformed into a violent one as blood flashed through her mind, of half - eaten Soldiers who fought and lost, of Eren's Titan form losing the battle against the Armored Titan,...

... and of Levi's lifeless form amidst mountains of corpses.

(F/N) gasped in fear at what she just saw and almost never noticed it when Jonas finally handed her to Erwin.

"(F/N)?" Erwin said. "Are you alright?"

The girl's mouth slightly dropped open as she looked up at Erwin. She might be willing to go to the altar with him, but he knew full well that her heart wasn't.

"I'm, ahh - "

Erwin sighed. He knew his suspicions to be a fact: (F/N) really was still in love with Levi.

"(F/N), look at me." Erwin whispered to her. The small crowd of their closest friends and witnesses were already getting confused as to what was happening between the two of them.

(F/N) looked up at him, but she couldn't stop her tears from falling. The sight stabbed Erwin right in his heart.

"H-he,..." she hesitated for a while, then finally managed to be truthful to him. "He said goodbye, Erwin. I'll - I'll never see him again,..."

The crowd noticed it as (F/N) began crying. However, despite the confusion of the others, Claire knew that her precious grandchild was finally accepting the truth - that she could never, ever, abandon the person she truly loved the most.

Erwin knew this, as well, as he took (F/N)'s hands and led her outside the church, which made the guests, and even Delilah, herself, stand and witness the growing drama right before their eyes.

"Erwin, where are you taking me?"

Erwin smiled at her. "Outside."

"What?"

(F/N) was still asking this until they really arrived outside the church.

"Why are you doing this?" (F/N) asked him as the man took out a small box from one of his pockets and handed it to her. She looked at it, then stared right back at him. "What is this?"

"It was meant as a birthday gift." Erwin confessed. "I contemplated whether I should give it to you or not, and I took long enough. I was, instead, going to give you this after our wedding, but you should have it, anyway."

"Wait, you're - ?"

(F/N) didn't say more, but the look and smile on Erwin's face told her everything she wanted to know. He was letting her go, again.

"Erwin, you didn't have to - "

"(F/N), listen to me." Erwin said. "I understand perfectly. Now, don't mind me and go after him. He'll leave within an hour, you must hurry."

"But, Erwin,..."

"Go now, (F/N)." Erwin said then noticed Jonas waiting for the two of them. He turned towards the teenager and said, "Jonas, could you get her there in an hour?"

The boy grinned and flexed his muscles. "Are you kidding me? We'll get there in thirty!"

Erwin turned once more to (F/N) and gave her one last warm hug. "I want you to be happy, (F/N)."

"Erwin,..."

"I love you." he whispered to her, then practically threw her towards Jonas. "Go now, before it is too late!"

"Wait!" (F/N) uttered as she tried to remove the engagement ring from her finger, but was stopped by Erwin when he took her hand and covered it gently with his own.

"Please, keep it." he said. "As a remembrance."

"But - "

"I insist."

"Let's go, you idiot!" Jonas exclaimed as he took (F/N)'s arm and led her to his horse, leaving Erwin alone.

The lonely man watched as the two of them rode towards the town to go after Levi. Little did he know that someone was spying on him.

"You really are stupid, you know that?"

"I know, Delilah." he answered his sister, who made her way towards him, together with Hange, who was supposed to be on the top of the Legion's formation right now. IF there really was an Expedition.

He noticed the look of amusement on Hange's eyes, then smiled dejectedly at her.

"Did you expect me to believe that there really is an Expedition?" he asked Hange.

"Well, two can play at the mind games." the woman replied, then winked at him. "But, you know, we really do have solid leads regarding the real identity of the Armored and Colossal Titan. We just want someone to stitch out some proper plans for the ambush."

"And you expect me to say yes?"

"What else?" Hange said, then grabbed the tall man's shoulders. "You can always go back, you know. We still need you, Commander."

"She's right, you know." Delilah urged on further with a wicled grin on her lips. "You might not to be cut out for this whole lovelife thing, but you might BE for this particular ambush, whatever that is."

Erwin smiled, then laughed at the two women and at himself for being so smart, yet so gullible.

"I could never understand you, women."

"It would take you a whole lifetime before you do, brother."

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @chocolate-mmilk , @nerdyphantomlady , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

***

[nhlarchived]

NYC ~ Mathew Barzal

Chapter One

Ch. One ~ Ch. Two ~ Part Three ~ Ch. Four ~ Ch. Five

A/N: Yes, a lot of you may recognize this specific title/player combo from a blog who no longer wishes to associate with writing. I privately messaged them and requested permission to read their previous work that has always been my favorite. Not only did they give me access to read everything, but they’re allowing me to have all of their series and tweak them into my own. The story line will remain the same, but I have decided to change the POV that way I can slightly customize the story. I apologize if you dislike not having “Y/N” in a story but as I continue to study creative writing, I believe it makes a story easier to read. I hope you enjoy, I greatly appreciate feedback!

Check out my Wattpad where I will be posting this series and others as I go!

Authors Note: Based off this YouTube video. Yes, I purposely gave the children different names. 

Word Count: 1,878

Warnings: Mature Language

Misc. Characters: Cassandra~You

________

I’ve been nannying the Seidenberg’s for a little over a year now. My parents lived in the house next door while I went to a university in the city, living in an apartment close to campus. Dennis and Rebecca figured since I was a familiar face to the kids, with always being invited to small holiday get together parties my parents would hold, that I would be the best option to take care of them. That way Rebecca could go on road trips, or have fun with the other WAGs without worrying about the kids. 

I got along with the three kids very well. After being with them for over a year, they feel like my own siblings. The boy, Dakota, was the youngest and he always loved to play street hockey with me in the driveway. The girls would play along as well, but he’d always be the first to ask. The two girls, Natalie and Marisa, always brought back memories of my old dancing days. Wanting to stay downstairs and do gymnastics or make up dance routines until they couldn’t stand anymore. As you can see, the kids kept me very busy and active. 

Normally, I would only nanny on weeks when Dennis went on road trips and Rebecca wanted to join. Or random nights that the WAGs decided to hang out. However, over the summer I found myself at their house quite often. Sometimes only because the kids just wanted to hang out and play. 

The summer was coming to an end and the hockey season was about to pick up once again. College was unfortunately beginning to get rough as it was now my senior year, but the kids always knew how to ease my stress and bring the child out of me, which is why I enjoy being with them so much. 

Tonight, Dennis and Rebecca had gone out to attend the season kickoff dinner. They requested that I sleep over their house as they planned not to be coming home until after midnight. They have a guest room on the upper level that I usually sleep in during the road trip weeks. The room is comfortable, I love it. They even allow me to customize it and accent the walls with pictures that the kids have drawn for me. 

After a couple hours of driveway street hockey, once the sun started setting, I then settled on the basement couch with the kids, popping in a Disney movie. The time was inching close to midnight, but we all ignored it. The girls laid on either side of me, with my arms around their shoulders while theirs crossed my stomach. While Dakota laid on the floor by himself in front of us. It wasn’t long before all three of them had dozed off into a sleep. Not wanting to move and wake them up, I figured I should drift off into sleep as well.

I heard a sudden noise which broke me out of my sleep. My mom instincts kicked in remembering the kids were with me. I quickly jumped up to see who was in the room, ready to attack if it was an intruder. The lights were still dim in the basement as the television asking if we were still watching was the only thing to illuminate the space. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust but soon enough I heard Dennis’ hushed voice. 

“Sorry! We were trying to be quiet.” He whispered tiptoeing down the last stair. After his statement I was blinded by the overhead lights being turned on. My hands quickly covered my eyes, rubbing them to regulate my sight once again. I then heard the kids simultaneously groan “daaaad” behind me as they woke. 

“Come on. Go on up to your rooms. I️ know Cassandra would love to be laying in her bed right now.” He continued. He definitely wasn’t lying about me wanting to be in my bed at the moment. Laying on the couch left a kink in my neck that I couldn’t help but absentmindedly attempt to massage out. 

Once the kids retreated up the stairs, I noticed a male, averaging the same age as me, walk out of the spare bedroom adjacent from the couch. He had long, dark, slicked back hair. He was wearing a T-shirt that showed off his toned veiny arms, paired with black skinny jeans. 

I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive. In fact, he was almost unreal. His face was perfectly chiseled while his body looked like it was carved by angels. I couldn’t help but stare at every little feature on him. It was almost as if he had just walked out of a movie. Next thing I know my eyes trace back up to his face and he’s staring right back at me. I felt my heart beat rise as a genuine smile that could light up the whole room pulled across his lips. 

I was guessing he was one of Dennis’ teammates. As if the Islander t-shirt didn’t give that away. But, he definitely wasn’t one that has been invited over to the house previously as I’ve clearly never seen him before. So, I figured he was a rookie and Dennis invited him over for dinner. 

“Cassandra, so sorry I️ probably should introduce the two of you.” Dennis began once he returned from bringing the kids upstairs. I hadn’t noticed earlier, but I was staring at the boy in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. Causing heat to immediately flood my cheeks in embarrassment. Figuring there was no way he didn’t take notice to my lengthy admiration. 

“This is Mathew. Mathew this is Cassandra.” He introduced. Mat was quick to hold his hand out to me, stepping closer. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you.” He stated with a distinct Canadian accent. I took his hand into mine and shook lightly as I silently prayed he wouldn’t notice how sweaty my palm was. 

“Same to you.” I responded. Not nearly as confident as I pleased. In fact, I’m pretty sure I sounded like a shy 3rd grader introducing themselves to the whole class on the first day of school. 

“Mat is a rookie this year. So Rebecca and I️ decided it would be smart to allow him to stay here for his first season. Just so you don’t get confused when you see him walking around.” Dennis exclaimed. 

As he finished, I was pretty sure all of the color in my skin sank, just like thermometers do when the temperatures drop. The thought of having this painfully attractive boy around the house excited me in all the wrong ways. The last thing I needed was a distraction. However, he would be gone on road trips the same time as Dennis. So, hopefully I wouldn’t see him that often anyway. Even though I’d hate to admit that I really wanted too. 

“Welcome!” Was all I could say as I was still in shock from the whole situation. I attempted to sound as enthusiastic as possible. Mat sent me a sympathetic smirk. Almost like he felt bad for being here even though it wasn’t even my house. Making me feel self conscious of possibly sending him the wrong vibes. 

“Well Mat, I️’m going to go grab your other suitcase. Make yourself feel at home.” Dennis offered before making his way back up the stairs. Eternally I began screaming for him to come back. Not wanting to be left alone with the boy whose bones I was ready to jump at any given moment. 

“Does your neck hurt?” He questioned. My gaze shifted from the stairwell to Mat who only stood about a foot away from me. My head cocked to the side in confusion, while my face muscles tightened, wondering how in the world he knew about the kink that had formed in my neck. 

“How did you…?” I began to ask before Mat cut me off to explain. 

“You’ve been rubbing it since you stood up.” He answered, pointing to his own neck to imitate my movements. He spoke low and cleared his throat. Making me feel slightly better about this situation seeing he seemed to be just as awkward as I was at the moment. 

“Yeah. I slept wrong on the couch and now I️ have a knot in my neck.” I responded while rolling my eyes, annoyed with the pain. 

“Want me to try and rub it out?” Mat proposed. A moment of silence fell over the room. My mind immediately wanted to respond with ‘Boy you could rub whatever you want’ but obviously that wasn’t reasonable. I tried to stay calm as my heart began to race even faster to the point I would bet he could hear it. 

“Can you please?” I replied as my mind began to contemplate if that was a good enough response or not. 

Mat then moved behind me. His fingertips, oh so gently, braced themselves on my right shoulder. His thumbs then started making small circle movements into my skin causing goosebumps to rise that I hoped he didn’t notice. But taking by the deep chuckle I just heard behind me.. he noticed.. and is flattered. 

The pressure from his thumbs found the perfect spot on the knot. Kneading it away as my facial expressions tighten in pain. Knowing that it has to hurt before the muscles will relax. 

“Am I️ getting it?” Mathew questioned. He knew the answer. He could tell by my face, the goosebumps and the way my shoulder was slowly moving farther away from him. He knew I was enjoying it, so he was instigating. 

“Yes.” I groaned with my teeth grinding together. Features still continuing to tense. However, he slowly and gently removed his fingertips as I then felt total relief over my neck and shoulder. I circled my arm around a couple times to ensure the pain was gone and behold, Mat had magical hands. 

“Thank you a lot, it feels so much better.” I spoke relieved, turning to face Mat who was standing much closer than I had anticipated.

“No problem. Anytime.” He whispered due to the small amount of space separating us. His statement was followed by a wink that was powerful enough to blow me off my feet. But to maintain my authority, I plastered a smirk on my face, and winked back. 

“Have a good night.” I said before confidently turning around to walk up the stairs. Proud of myself for appearing unfazed instead of the sweaty mess I was on the inside. 

“Oh, I️ will. Goodnight.” Mat responded. Thankfully I was facing the opposite direction, that way he couldn’t see my eyes roll through my head at his sly comment. 

Once reaching my bedroom on the upper level I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling fan. I knew it would be unprofessional and a risk to my job if I even thought about attempting anything with Mat. But at the same time, he was almost impossible to resist. Who knows though, he might not even be interested at all and I’m wasting my time thinking about him for nothing. Yet, it was also so hard to get him off my mind.

[ffwriter2018]

Jealousy

Toni never felt safe or secure in her life like she does when she’s with Cheryl. It scares her because she’s always had to keep her guard up not let anyone see her weaknesses. Cheryl was the first person to see Toni for the broken and fragile person she hid from the out side world. Lately she’s been struggling a lot with thoughts that she isn’t enough for Cheryl. They had a week off from school so as a last minute idea they took off for the week. Just the two of them away from the city ,craziness and stress from school.

It was day 4 of their spontaneous trip they were having a great time. Except Toni couldn’t shake this feeling, honestly she wasn’t sure exactly what it was but she knew she didn’t like it. They rode on her bike to the restaurant when they walked in she got that feeling again. She felt sick because it was then when she realized what she was feeling. Jealousy and guilt, two feelings she’d never like to admit. Even though they walk in together hand and hand she senses the hostess watching and eyeing her girlfriend. Which only adds to those negative feelings. Once they get to their table Toni’s mind is racing a mile a minute. She isn’t the type of person to feel insecure in a relationship she completely zoned out. It’s her girlfriends voice that send her back into reality.

“Babe what do you want to drink?” Cheryl looks at Toni a little bit confused and worried. Toni snaps out of her daze looks at the waitress who is looking at her like she wants to completely ignore her. “Coffee.” Toni says simply the waitress walks away. Cheryl places her hand on Toni’s. “Are you okay love?” Toni looks up to meet her eyes just places a fake smile and nods. Cheryl knows something is up but doesn’t press the topic right now. The waitress comes back with their drinks noticeably daunting over Cheryl. “Are you ready to order?” She askes the question to Cheryl. “TT you ready?” Cheryl notices the way the waitress is ignoring her girlfriend. Toni is tense she’s starting to get real pissed with this lady. They order their foods respectively then sit there in silence for a little.

Toni knows she’s acting weird so she tries to get out of this head space. “How’s your tea babe?” Cheryl places her phone down immediately to talk to her and their food was coming. “Definitely not as good as you make it at home, that’s for sure.” Cheryl says which causes Toni to finally smile for the first time today. “Can I get you anything els?” Waitress asks as she stands closely to Cheryl’s side of the booth. “Yes my girlfriend has asked for a refill on her coffee which you have still yet not brought her. “ Cheryl snaps not once looking towards the woman on the receiving end of the bitter words. She walks away with out another word, comes back and pours Toni a cup of hot coffee. “I wasn’t worried about it babe. I’m kinda used to getting the cold shoulder/ ignored while we’re out together.” As soon as she said it she regrets it. Mentally dreading the conversation that was going to happen. She doesn’t look at Cheryl not yet she can’t admit her insecurities in a place like this.

“Wha- Toni what do you mea-?”Cheryl starts to say but Toni shakes her head. “Never mind, forget I said anything it’s nothing.” She eats her food looking at her phone anywhere but at the eyes who are staring right through her. The manager comes over “How was your meal lady’s?” He actually acknowledged both women. “The food was good but your service was extremely unprofessional. You should tell your servers to not hit on customer who is out with their girlfriend. Also not to completely ignore and treat someone with anything less than respect.” Cheryl snaps and throws her napkin on her plate. “So if you could be so kind as to get our check I would greatly appreciate it.” The manager nods and walks away. Both girls were done eating there was a charged tension between them. He comes back over empty handed. “I’m very sorry that your visit was uncomfortable we do not condone any of this. Your meal is on the house and again I sincerely apologize for this.” “Thank you.” Is all Cheryl says. Toni just nods at him. He leaves the girls get their stuff together and walk out.

Toni is on her bike starting it up putting on her helmet when she noticed Cheryl just standing there arms crossed in front of her chest. “Come on Cheryl it was supposed to rain hence the reason we were staying in today. I want to get back to the hotel before we get soaked, please.” Toni finally looks at her. Her girlfriend knows she’s right but also hiding something. She doesn’t say anything just puts her helmet on gets behind Toni and holds her. Their driving back to the hotel when they stop at a light and it’s not as loud. Cheryl says “ I love YOU” and kisses the back of Toni’s shoulder. Toni hears her and the tears roll down her cheek she’s so glad she’s driving. They got back to the hotel just in time as it starts to pour. This tension was growing as the seconds went by.

Toni is trying to find the right words on how she’s feeling, without sounding needy. “Am I going to be enough for you in a few weeks, months or years?” Toni asks as she changed into her sweats. Cheryl is taken aback at those words. “Why would you ask something like that?” Toni stops in her tracks turning to Cheryl letting out a deep sigh.“Because when we go out I get this knot in my stomach. Everyone fawns over you, stops in their tracks when they see you. I know that because that’s how I always see you.I pause mid sentence when I make you laugh because your laugh is the best thing I’ve ever heard. When you are deciding on what to wear in the morning and you look at 7 different outfits but always pick the first. I sit there smiling watching the way your nose scrunches up when you’re aggravated.” Toni has a small smile as she sits on the chair opposite of where Cheryl is sitting.

Toni takes a deep breath these next few sentences are going to be hard for her to get out. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m jealous and kind of insecure. Plus the way you unknowingly add/respond to it. I know that sounds crazy, and I’m overreacting but I guess today was the worst I’ve felt about it. But then you snapped at the waitress and I felt like you finally saw. I know you love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I have to figure out how to deal with these emotions and be honest with you. Instead of being embarrassed and driving myself crazy.” Toni lets out a breath that’s like physically releasing everything that’s been bottled up. She looks at Cheryl who has tears coming down her face. Cheryl looks at her with so much compassion and love.

Cheryl gets up to walk over to Toni, she takes her hands to walk back over to the bed. They are sitting there facing each other Cheryl leans in and gives Toni a quick kiss. “Of course you are always going to be enough for me. One of my favorite things you do is sing like no one is listening. Every morning when you sing in the shower I stand there and listen. Your laugh and I mean your true deep laugh every time I hear that TT it’s the best thing. I notice that people always come to me first but you’ve never seemed to react to it. So I never wanted to bring it up, I didn’t want to sound self centered Incase that wasn’t the case. But this morning I knew that you’ve always noticed and that hurt me. You’re not crazy and you’re not overreacting. I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything about it sooner.” Cheryl wipes her eyes then wipes Toni’s cheek. “There’s no just dealing with these feelings alone. I’m glad you finally told me. I’m going to try and read those situations better. You are the only one I have eyes for trust me on that.” Cheryl smiles as Toni kisses her cheek.

“You’re not the only one that gets jealous babe.” Cheryl states as she stands up to change with a smile. “What do you mean by that.” Toni questions with a hint of sarcasm. “The way girls and guys stare at you when you get off your bike. It’s like they see you in slo-mo. Their mouths drop down to the ground ,eyes bugging out of their heads. They watch your every-move sometimes even come up to ask you dumb obvious questions.” Cheryl stands there arms crossed looking at her girlfriend. “Those are the times when I walk up to you put my arm around your back or empathize when calling you babe. I want them to know you aren’t alone.” She walks back over to Toni and stands in front of her. Toni looks up at her with a smirk and says “I love you.” Cheryl leans down kisses Toni and says “I love you forever and always Toni.” Toni pulls Cheryl down on the bed kissing her. Everything will work out. Their love is to great to let jealousy get in the way.

[the-purple-hero]

🔥 The Decimation (MCU AU Drabble - The Snap) 🔥

{🔥}—; “C’mon Sparx, try ‘n catch me!” The young dragon said, participating in a race with Sparx right at his side and soon stopping right by the twin waterfalls where he could see Delbin was busy painting. “Beat ya again! Better luck next time pal, but you’re definitely really fast!” 

He couldn’t deny how speedy his best pal was, he could easily pull ahead and beat him in a race he was definitely no slowpoke that was for sure. Spyro was thinking of all kinds of things to do today, having defeated Ripto again recently he thought maybe he could hang out with Sparx, some of the dragons and his friends over at Dragon Shores since after all they were due to have a buffet over there. 

The young hero went over to Delbin to ask if he wanted to join him, only to see him look at his hands and him drop his paintbrush. So he picked it up for him in his jaws and held it up so he could take it back, only to see.....”Hey Delbin, y’dropped thi-...what the-?” 

What he saw was the dragon slowly turning to dust and fading away, the last thing he saw was the painter’s scared eyes as he faded completely into nothing but dust that laid across the ground, some of it blowing away.

Just...what was that all about? What happened to Delbin? Did he just watch him....die? But how? Spyro looked around with an aggressive and fiery look in his eye barring his teeth and looking for what potentially did this but there was no one around. It seemed to just happen seemingly out of nowhere and for no reason. 

Spyro’s breathing was beginning to pick up, as he started becoming really worried and even began to feel a big of fear and sadness...was Delbin really gone? The little dragon began to run with Sparx following by his side, they had to go and tell Nestor about this! 

What the little dragon didn’t know was, this wasn’t just happening to Delbin it was happening to many, many others.

Including one, that would be very painful for the young dragon to have to see. As he was running, Sparx called to him to stop. So Spyro turned around, about to tell his best friend they should hurry but before he could get the words out...he saw something that shocked him...Sparx beginning to crumble away into dust much like Delbin just did. “Wait, wait no Sparx!” 

The young dragon was so confused and didn’t know what was happening, he quickly grabbed the dragonfly and took him into his forepaws. Thinking of one thing, he couldn’t let this happen! As he held him, the dragonfly looked like he was sick and uncomfortable like something was hurting him. 

It showed, as his colors rapidly drained down from blue, to green and finally to black which all dragons knew was deathly for a dragonfly. “S-Spyro...I, don’t know what’s happening I’m, sorry.” the dragonfly’s eyes turned red and sickly as he quickly hugged Spyro’s paw with his tiny little legs, before he crumbled into a pile of dust in his hand.

Spyro didn’t move, or say anything all he felt was utter shock at what he was seeing...his stomach twisted into knots, his stomach was hurting like several pounds pushed against it making it upset and hurt, while he looked at the pile of dust that was Sparx just seconds ago. This can’t be real! It just can’t, it had to be a nightmare!   At this point Spyro’s eyes were beginning to sting and burn, soon making the purple dragon realize he had tears welling up in his eyes. The tears began to flow down his scaly cheeks and down into his palms, very still and completely shocked.

The effects weren’t seen by just Spyro, all across the realm this strange affect would take hold as something terrible had happened that would lead to several deaths and lead to great devastation among the realms.

Nestor was merely spending time with Nils taking a walk with his brother. “I know Spyro wanted to go to Dragon Shores, he was excited about the event today so I was thinking I’ll go. It happened to be a day where I’m not so busy.” 

Heading over there with Nils, he suddenly felt something wasn’t right...only to collapse on the ground and saw his legs crumbling away to dust. The shock of such a sight struck hard in both of the green dragons, Nils taking his brother by the hand, not understanding what was going on. It happened so fast, and his brother faded as he was holding his hand. The sculptor was left speechless, but he needed to know what was happening, he couldn’t be dead! 

“Remember, we always give it our all, never give up and we will fight to protect the Dragon Realms should a large scale conflict ever arise!” Titan said as he demonstrated to the dragons, using his axe skillfully against training dummies as he led several of them in a training exercise. 

While Titan showed them a few tricks and helped with some who needed some improvement, he noticed as one of them started fading away to dust...soon one by one. The Peace Keeper held his axe firmly, believing they were under fire. It was no time to panic, they needed to defend and avenge their fallen if there was someone here with some kind of strong magic that turned them to dust.

If there was something Titan would not allow, it was his comrades to die in vain. This however was, strange unlike anything he’d seen before but after seeing a few fall right before his eyes he looked around trying to see what was causing his comrades to fall like flies. “Stay calm, and stay close, it appears we’re under attack!” 

It didn’t appear like anyone was there, just what was doing this? Although he didn’t have much time to dwell on is, as his axe fell out of his hands as he began to fade as well. The warrior felt horrified and for the first time in a long while he felt true fear, as he soon succumbed to this and everything went black...and it was over, with the remaining Peace Keepers watching in horror.

Unlike many, Cosmos felt something wrong the moment it had begun so he quickly got up and went to his spell books in a desperate attempt to find some way to counter what was happening. He could feel a great disturbance, but as Cosmos quickly used his magic he could slowly feel the realization that there was no stopping this especially after he just watched Zantor, a student of his crumble to dust before his eyes.

He didn’t even have much time to try as he felt weak and went down to his knees, trying to hold himself up with his staff only to have it fall away as he too was a victim of this travesty falling upon the Dragon Realms, and beyond as he could sense. Cosmos was afraid, and didn’t know what the Magic Crafters will do with him gone.

The normally smug dragon elder was now afraid, knowing there was nothing he could do. All he could do was hope that someone could take his place and lead in his place...he felt sad that his time was being cut short and now, he’d never be able to finish with so much good he’d planned for the realms. He’d made mistakes...but now his life was cut short as he faded away leaving only his staff, the second leader to fall.

Bruno was spending time during the day collecting herbs and other minerals to get to work to beast making with Bubba, but of course since he didn’t have direct connections to magic and instead the environment he had no idea what was coming.

Until he saw Rosco crumble away to nothing but dust before him, making him drop the items he was carrying but taking his chieftain staff and heading back to the temple. Lighting a beacon to call all his Beast Makers back immediately, anyone that wasn’t present anyway.

He waited hours...but only three came back some of them telling him how they saw many of their fellow Beast Makers crumble to dust just like what he saw. No one knew what was going on, it looked to them as if they were under attack from something unknown, and Bruno couldn’t believe it that it seemed like many of his dragons were dead, or had disappeared with only three returning to him.

Lateef was taking it harshly, being connected and spiritually tuned the blue dragon could feel many deaths across the Dragon Realms seconds apart, even beyond their home. He couldn’t believe what his senses were having him believe.

He put a hand over his heart, and his heart feeling the shock of so many innocents and otherwise all dying off but what really got to him was...the fact he couldn’t feel their spirits after they were gone, that wasn’t possible!

Just as he thought he’d felt the worst of it he saw Revilo who was right beside him trying to help him beginning to fade away as well. Lateef was normally very calm and tranquil in even the most stressful of situations, but he couldn’t fathom losing his closest friend of several years so suddenly, and out of nowhere. 

Quickly getting to his feet he took the clearly weakening dragon into his arms, holding him by his hand. Only to have him fade in a matter of seconds, speaking Lateef’s name in a voice filled to the brim with fear...

The knitting dragon left nothing behind except for his knitting needles, and what made this worse was he couldn’t immediately feel his friend’s spirit. So he quickly looked out to see many of his own fading out there. 

Lateef quickly tried to calm himself and contact their spirits, but as hard as he tried it would seem there were no spirits to even contact at all...they were just gone, seemingly out of existence.

Later

The Dragon Realms for a while were facing a massive emergency, that many dragons had been crumbling to dust at a random moment in the day and it was a seemingly one time occurrence. But thanks to feedback from Lateef, he confirmed that they had passed away but had no spirit like they were just gone for good.

It was something even he didn’t want to have to admit, but as hard as he tried there was nothing he could do and it soon spread across the realms that three of the leaders had fallen. There would need to be replacements for them, very sudden but they needed to keep the realms safe and secure, later it was found out even Gnasty Gnorc had fallen.

Many dragons scrambled to also find out if Spyro was safe, and were greatly relieved to find him alive but at what cost? Sparx had died, along with many of Spyro’s friends and dragons that he enjoyed spending time with.

It was a terrible day, filled with heavy loss and sorrow...something that the realms could not easily recover from, and worst of all no one knew who or what could have done this. Many looked to Lateef and the few remaining Magic Crafters to figure it out, and they promised they would figure it out, somehow.

Many were left devastated, especially Spyro who just spent time in his room alone only being visited by Nils on occasion, he didn’t really come out for a week but it was obvious like everyone else he was upset.

The Artisan home didn’t feel the same without several of them, it felt quiet and not so cheerful with the birds usually chirping it just felt, empty...as did some of the homeworlds left with so few in numbers.

Survivors/Victim List