#which freaks him out. almost as much as his companions treating him like their savior for rescuing them from the war. shits wild

[buttercupart]

[OC-tober prompts by spiral89art]

day 23 - [create a new oc - music edition] - based off the lyrics

of monsters and men - from finner / dirty paws

[sunmaylight]

FGO Danmei Romani AU - Post Solomon Singularity

I’m still alive. Um, yeah. Have been more active on Twitter, sorry. But still check here for FGO stuff ever now and then.

Speaking of FGO, I made this AU when one of my twt friends shared a post with me and activated my muse. ((Full post edition))

Twitter Alt

-FGO SPOILERS AFTER UNDERCUT-

After Solomon uses Ars Nova, he wakes up on the side of a road in his Chaldea uniform, but with the addition of another set of clothing and a backpack that looks like what he used when traveling the world before joining Chaldea.

He checks out the bag and sees it has a mix of medical supplies & equipment, generic camping tools, and items that look like they belong ancient times of Asia (i.e. scrolls, brush & ink, talismans).  

Romani closes his bag and unfolds the bundle of clothing next. He is greeted with a green and white robe that is a traditional Chinese outfit similar to what Jing Ke wears.  

At that, he goes back to the bag and pulls out one of the scrolls.  

He takes a good long look at it and realizes that it’s ancient Chinese writing that he can understand for some reason. He puts the scroll back into the bag. While doing so, he sees a familiar ring on his finger. Romani freaks out.  

He remembers the end of the Final Singularity, but doesn’t know why he is here.  

By all means, he should have essentially ceased to exist once he cast Ars Nova. Yet he is here, wherever here is, very much alive and existing.  

Before he can freak out more, a monster pops up from the ground a good few feet away from him.  

Romani panics and is about to cast a Gandr, when an arrow comes out of nowhere and kills the monster instead.  

The doctor turns to face his savior and is greeted by a young teen of Chinese descent in traditional Chinese clothing, that he feels like he knows the name of, holding a bow & arrow.  

“Greetings, from which Sect do you hail from fellow Cultivator?” The young teen asks Romani after making sure no more monsters will pop out.  

“Excuse me? Did you say you were a Cultivator?” Romani asks in reply.  

Hey, would you look at that, the doctor can understand the spoken language as well. He has obtained Ancient Chinese language comprehension without doing anything.

As the doctor converses more with this Cultivator, he is slowly remembering something Guda has mentioned. A hobby that they enjoyed before the Singularities. 

What was it called again, dame? Wo shiya? 

Oh, now he remembers, it’s Wuxia Novels. 

Oh god, Romani has ended up in a Wuxia world all alone with no way to properly explain where he came from. He is a Transmigrator if he remembers from Guda’s rambling about it.

Worse, the young Cultivator (who is not a mage, yet might as well be) is looking at Romani in concern and- is that blood on the arm? Is the young Cultivator bleeding?  

Romani goes into his doctor mode as he takes the young Cultivator's arm and examines the wound. He glares as he realizes that it's a poisonous wound. The young Cultivator shows no signs of discomfort, so the poison must have some numbing effect. 

Romani quickly goes to work to extract the poison and treat the wound. Once he is done, did he realize that he essentially treated a patient without consent. All the time treating Guda's, made him forget about it.  

As he apologizes to the young Cultivator for treating the wound without consent, the Cultivator drags Romani to a rural village nearby. The young Cultivator doesn't stop until the two enter a big building. 

Once inside, Romani is greeted with a sight that can only be described as a battlefield to the doctor. Some of them are poisoned, others have laceration wounds, and then there are those that are coughing from the flu or a possible disease.

"Can you help them as you have helped me?" The young Cultivator asks. 

Romani looks at the people in the building, the young Cultivator with hopeful eyes, and to the growing crowd outside.  

The doctor has many questions he needs answers to. Mysteries to figure out on his arrival, then what is the purpose of being here. Among other things that he should be doing to learn more about this place. 

And yet, looking at those people suffering from wounds and ailments that can be easily treated back in his world, his answer couldn't be more clear.

"Yes, I will do my best. I can't promise that I can help everyone, but I will try and do what I can to make sure all who can recover, can. After all, it's a doctor's duty to help treat people whenever possible" Romani answers with a reassuring smile usually given to Mash & Guda.

The young Cultivator smiles and bows.  

After getting consent from the patients and relatives of the patients, the doctor gets to work on treating the people.  

And that is the start of Romani's reputation of being an almost legendary healer in this world, even though rumors have it that there are no signs of him using Cultivation.  

Romani decides to travel the lands and help those in need when the world's current medical knowledge fails them. Which is often.

Several 'incurable diseases' that would need legendary medicine are now curable since Romani shares basic homemade remedies and treatment plans that anyone can afford.  

The more he travels, the more knowledge he gains of the world, the more he helps heal people, the more the rumors of him spread until they reach the Cultivation World.  

When the Cultivators hears that Romani has cured several 'incurable diseases' that plague non-Cultivators, they wonder if he can possibly cure an 'incurable disease' that is affecting Cultivators. 

So a famous Sect declares that they will find Romani and bring him here. They send one of their own to find the traveling doctor. 

It has been quite some time since Dr. Romani has arrived in this world that he is surprised that he hasn't run into any Cultivators besides that young teen when he initially arrived.  

Thinking about it the monsters here are also wary of him. Which is odd.

While traveling, the doctor discovers he can still use his Magecraft & Magic Circuits here. He accidentally discovered it when he uses a simple healing spell on an unconscious farmer to prevent him from bleeding out of a head wound. The doctor didn't have his medical supplies, so using magecraft was his next option.  

When he was using the spell, he felt his magic circuits flare but also another sensation. He can't think of it more in the current situation but when he thinks back on it, he feels as though he is pulling from another source of power. Similar to how he used to as a Servant, but more mythic in nature (it's the world).  

---  

When the doctor treats people with his medical knowledge or magecraft, he leaves thinking that the people healed will be on a completely normal recovery process. What he doesn't realize is that those that he treats have a minor accelerated recovery a couple of days after he leaves.  

If the doctor knew, then he would be baffled since nothing like this has happened in his original world.  

---

Early in his travels, Dr. Romani was foraging herbs for medicine in a deep forest filled to the brim with a mystical feeling. As he is finished with his search, he stumbles across a strangely familiar wounded animal. He treats the wounds and cleans it up.  

Once clean, the doctor realizes that this animal looks like Fou. Then when the Fou look-alike wakes up, it is revealed to be Fou. This is done when Fou takes one look at Romani followed by pawing the man's face and snuggling up to his neck.  

(What Romani won't learn until far in the future is that this Fou is actually a counterpart that was born after the Beast sacrificed himself at the end of the Solomon Singularity.)  

Once the Fou counterpart is healed, he travels with Romani again...under a new nickname the doctor gave him,' Fou-Fou’.  

Fou-Fou gives the doctor a flying kick the first time he is called that.  

---  

With the addition of Fou as a traveling companion, the rumors of the doctor flares again in the Cultivation and Non-Cultivation Worlds. Rumors spread about a mythical creature of unknown origins traveling with the wandering doctor. Everyone now thinks that the doctor has been 'Blessed by the Heavens' so to speak.  

Romani is oblivious as always to any rumors concerning him since he doesn't know what people call him besides traveling/wandering doctor or healer. 

Fou-Fou, on the other hand, learns of these rumors and laughs. The Beast Counterpart is finding new humor in the future suffering the doctor will experience.  

For now, Fou-Fou headbutts the doctor in the stomach before he accepts half of the agreed payment from the shady village chief.  

Honestly, Romani is possibly more useless than before to the Beast Counterpart since Magical Mari isn't a thing in this world.  

---  

Remember that a famous Cultivator Sect sent someone to find Romani to make him cure a Cultivator's 'incurable disease'?  

Romani doesn't know that Cultivators are looking for him since he travels through nature instead of the normal man-made paths. It's an easy path to forage for herbs and he can get the exercise he has been missing for quite some time. Also, Fou-Fou prefers the nature paths instead of the other ones.  

While the two were traveling near a cliff, Romani slips on a patch of moss and fall down the cliff. Fou-Fou watches Romani fall and jumps after him shortly after.  

As the doctor falls, he can't help but scream. Thinking that this is how his life will end for the second time. He closes his eyes and thinks about those that he misses. Mash, Guda, Da Vinci, Magi Mari, Olga Marie, the Servants of Chaldea, and finally, his Master from the Fourth Holy Grail War.  

Apologies are sent and Romani braces for impact, only it doesn't hurt. Instead, he feels very much alive and held?  

Did someone catch him?

Romani Archaman opens his eyes and gasps at the face of his savior.  

Director Marisbury Animusphere's face is staring back at Romani, only it doesn't seem right. He seems different somehow. The doctor reaches his hand up and touches the other man's face  

"Ma- gah!" Romani chokes as Fou lands on his stomach. The last thing he sees is the out-of-character look of shock Marisbury gives him before he falls unconscious.

===

Senior Cultivator 'Marisbury Animusphere' is a well-respected and well-liked member of his Sect. He is rumored to be the next Sect Leader with Senior Cultivator 'Lev Lainur' as the runner-up. The two are good martial siblings to one another but aren't exactly close. They have similar Cultivations, but they are vastly different as well. 'Marisbury' even heard rumors that Lev is studying Demonic Cultivation as well. Which doesn't bother him, he has new disciples to train for the Sect.  

Only now it seems like he is sent on a mission to find and retrieve a legendary healer of the Non-Cultivation Realm. Which he humbly accepts.  

What the Senior Cultivator presumed to be a simple search mission, ends up being a long journey of chasing after what could be considered a divine being.  

Everywhere he looks, he sees the aftermath of a miracle happening. Any inquiries about the mysterious healer are met with hostility until 'Marisbury' promises that he doesn't wish to do any harm to the rumored healer. Even then, the information obtained is sparse and barely worth anything.  

'Marisbury' is at his wits ends when he gets some information that the rumored miracle-working healer is close. The Cultivator quickly mounts his sword and flies to the area that the healer is. He arrives at a path near the cliffs and walks in search of the legendary healer.  

He doesn't have to wait long.

For the legendary healer falls into his arms, literally.  

The Cultivator is going to ask if the healer is alright when the words get caught in his throat. For one look at the man makes 'Marisbury' think that he is breath-taking.  

The healer reaches up and cradles 'Marisbury's face with one hand.  

"Ma- gah!"  

Is the only thing that 'Marisbury' hears before the Divine Beast that travels with the healer lands on his stomach and knocks him unconscious.  

'Marisbury' stares at the healer's companion and is given a smug grin in return and-  

"Danmei-Fou"

=====

If you didn't get it, in the end, Fou-Fou realizes that he and Romani didn't end up in a Wuxia world, they ended up in a Danmei world.  

If Romani was more knowledgeable to distinguish the two, he would have realized it. But since he isn't, he thinks he is in a Wuxia until it gets through his thick skull that he is not.

[swanqueeneverafter]

What Dreams May Come, Pt.12

Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Guest Room. (Robin Hood is pacing back and forth when Regina enters the room.) Regina: "You're lucky I was already planning on doing laundry when I bumped into you." Robin Hood: "Lucky? You prevented me from killing Nottingham." Regina: "I stopped you doing something you'd regret." Robin Hood: "Who says I'd regret it?" Regina: (Sighs:) "Well, trust me, someday you would. (When Robin flexes his hand, she notices the injury:) Here, let me see your hand." Robin Hood: "No, it's fine." Regina: "Okay then. Anyway I, brought you your clothes, blood free." Robin Hood: (Nods:) "Thank you." (Regina places the clothes on a chair, turns and leaves the room.) Dining Room. (Snow White and Regina discuss Robin's sudden reappearance in Storybrooke.) Snow White: "Regina, what were you thinking? How could you bring him here?" Regina: "It was either this or let him murder a man in the middle of Main Street." Snow White: "But you don't know who he is. Looking like Robin Hood doesn't make him the same person. Trust me, I once kissed David's twin. World of difference." Regina: "We've barely even talked." Snow White: "Well, there's some things you should probably tell him. Like, for example he has a daughter." Regina: "She's not his daughter." Snow White: "Exactly my point! They're different people." Regina: "I know the man in there isn't our Robin Hood. Our Robin is dead. Which is exactly why I told Alice to find my niece and keep her busy until we find out who or what this person is." Snow White: "It sounds as though you have some theories?" Regina: "My initial thought was that maybe this could've been our Robin. When Henry brought him back temporarily to speak with his daughter and take the Author's pen, maybe he somehow stayed in our world." Snow White: "But now?" Regina: (Shaking her head:) "This Robin doesn't know anything about us or Storybrooke. It's like he's straight out of..." Snow White: "Regina?" Regina: (Realising something:) "I have to call Emma. The search for Greg Mendell will have to wait, this is more important right now." Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Madelena's Chambers. (Henry and Madelena sit across from each other, beside a roaring fire.) Queen Madelena: "As I was saying, I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, and you will be well taken care of as my... Special companion." Henry: "Your boy toy, you mean. Is that how you see me? Hmm? As some well-groomed, ruggedly handsome, yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?" Queen Madelena: "Yeah. But, if you're the sort of man who needs romancing, I can certainly do that." Henry: (As music starts to play:) "Oh, no." Queen Madelena: ♪ I want you, I need you ♪ ♪ You cut me, and I bleed you ♪ ♪ You're like some kind of sonnet ♪ ♪ All I want to do is read you ♪ ♪ And (Hesitating:) I love you ♪ Henry: (Unimpressed:) “Uh huh.” (Madelena stands and crosses over to Henry.) Queen Madelena: ♪ I mean I (Almost gagging on the word:) love you ♪ Henry: “Yes. Thanks.” Queen Madelena: (Putting her hands on his shoulders:)  ♪ I said I love you ♪ Henry: “Yes, and you’re clearly sincere about it.” Queen Madelena: (Pulling him up out of his chair:) ♪ Dance with me ♪ (In hold, moves them to stand in front of a mirror:) ♪ Can't you see how freaking gorgeous we look? ♪ (Leading him across the floor, dancing:) ♪ Can't you feel the frantic beat of our hearts ♪ ♪ As our various parts rub with such delicious friction? ♪ ♪ Dance with me ♪ ♪ Why not finish what's already begun? ♪ Henry: ♪ So, what you're saying is you love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ Henry: ♪ Really love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ (Henry holds on to Madelena as she goes into a deep dip.) Queen Madelena: (Upside down:) “Does that clear things up for you?” Henry: (Letting go of her hands as she drops to the floor:) “Yeah, got it. Thanks.”

Castle Courtyard. Gallows. (Three men stand at the gallows ready to be executed. One of them, The Chef, with noose still around his neck has just finished telling the King of Madelena's betrayal.) King Richard: "Are you hearing this, Gareth? My own wife tries to trick me into killing my favorite chef so she can save the hero. (To Chef:) You sure it was her? Pretty girl, tiny waist, big eyes?” Chef: “Definitely, My King.” King Richard: (Scoffs:) “No one has it as bad as I do, Gareth. No one!” (The King slams his hand down in frustration, triggering a lever that executes Prisoner 1.) Prisoner 1: “Aaaaaaaah!” Gareth: "Uh... Don't worry." King Richard: "Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way? Oh, come on. Forget I'm your king and talk to me like your friend." Gareth: "All right. You keep acting like a prat. You need to be more of a geezer. You know, I've tried to tell you time and time again. You don't turn your ear." King Richard: "Oh, Gareth. I can't understand a word you say. Let me ask you this, then. (Thoughtlessly tapping the second lever:) Do you like me, Gareth? I mean, you know, as a... as a person?" (The King turns back to face Gareth to gauge his reaction, leaning on the second lever as he does, executing Prisoner 2.) Prisoner 2: "Aaaaaaah!" (Before Gareth can answer, a Page whispers something in his ear.) Gareth: "I gotta go. My queen needs me." King Richard: "Your queen? Mm. (Turns to the Chef:) Are you hearing this? Now it's his queen. Fine. Go ahead. Leave me, too. Be that guy. Go. Go." Gareth: "Yeah, okay." (Leaves.) King Richard: "Why am I like this? Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way?" Chef: (Just before the King can hit the third lever:) "Sire!" King Richard: "Hmm?" Chef: "I-I think I know something that may help you." King Richard: "Really? What?" Chef: "A-a nice full stomach. It always makes things better." King Richard: "Oh, Chef. What would I do without you?" (The King leaves the gallows and, sighing with relief, the Chef removes the noose and follows quickly after him.) Storybrooke. The Charmings' House. (David and Hook stand in front of David's investigation board.) David: "I'm glad you're here. I need your help. Tell me if you see anything, any connections, patterns." Hook: "All this because of a blasted coin?" David: "Look, I tried to fight it, but something... something happened. I saw my father's ghost." Hook: (Skeptically:) "You entirely sure about that?" David: "Yes, I'm sure. And don't tell me I need more sleep. I've had plenty, and I still saw him right outside, staring at me. I'd given up on him, Hook. What kind of son does that?" Hook: "A son with a family of his own." David: "I can't abandon one family for another. My father was a weak man, but he's still my father and he deserves justice. Now will you help me?" Hook: "Perhaps Emma would be better-suited to help. She's sheriff, after all, and Savior, and she has, you know, magic." David: "No, no, don't call Emma. I don't want to worry her or Snow. What I might have to do, they wouldn't approve of." Hook: "But you think I would?" David: "You're a pirate, and a pirate's what I need. Come on. You gave me an idea."

Swan-Mills House. (Robin Hood is looking through the Storybook.) Robin Hood: "So, everybody in this book lives here, in Storybrooke?" Regina: (Nods:) "Most of them. What we'd like to know is... how far along you are." Robin Hood: "Excuse me?" Regina: "Before you came here, what's the last thing you remember? What was your life like, were you married?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "Married? No, I don't think so." Emma: (Sitting forward in her chair:) "Okay, well that at least gives us some sort of timeline." Robin Hood: (Confused:) "A timeline?" Regina: (Gently takes the Storybook from him:) "Sorry, it's not a good idea to know too much about your future." Robin Hood: "I see." Emma: (To Robin:) "Could you excuse us a moment? (Emma, Regina and Zelena all get up and move to another room:) So, we know that this Robin isn't from our dreamscape, the timeline doesn't fit." Zelena: "I'm sorry, you two were having a shared dream about Robin Hood?" Emma: "No... well not exactly. We were... It was..." Regina: (Firmly:) "Private." Zelena: "I see. So you two had a dreamscape sexcapade and somehow Robin Hood turns up in Storybrooke?" Emma: "Look, we already told you it can't have been that. In our dream Robin was already married to Marian." Regina: "If indeed that was Marian. Let's not rule out the possibility that it could've been you, Zelena." Zelena: (Scoffs:) "I think I would've remembered being part of one of your trysts, thanks." Regina: "Well what was your dreamscape about? What did you do there?" Zelena: (Hesitates:) "Mine? It was... mine was... Nevermind! I went into my dreamscape alone, it's you two that must've caused all this." Emma: "Sure, blame us, why not." Zelena: "Well no one else has a history of merging realms do they? I think, you two had some earth shattering sex, somehow that sent the dream world haywire and Robin is the result. And now he's stuck here walking the streets of Storybrooke." (Emma and Regina look to each other, considering this chain of events.) Regina: "If that really is the case, then the solution should be straight forward. We take Robin to Xanax's laboratory, he goes through the door and back into the dream world where he belongs." Emma: "Do you think it'll be that simple?" Regina: (Shrugs:) "Is anything ever that simple?" Zelena: "Yeah, well you better hope it works before his daughter bumps into him in the street and decides she wants him to stay." Regina: "He's not-" Robin Hood: (Entering the room:) "Excuse me? (All three women turn to look at him:) Did you say I have a daughter?" Storybrooke. Main Street. (In an attempt to keep Robin busy, Alice has asked her out on a 'day date'.) Robin: "So, remind me never to play 'Clue' with you." Alice: "Why's that?" Robin: "Well, apparently, it was Ms. Scarlett, in the shipping container, with a gun.” (They walk over to a vendor and Robin asks for two candy apples.) Alice: (Groans:) “I still can't believe it happened. Luckily, Rumple's alright and Belle's being really cool about it. She said she told Rumple to get rid of that gun several times. She’s more angry at him, than me.” Robin: (Offering an apple to Alice:) "Here, try this." (They continue walking as Alice tries the apple.) Alice: (Taking a bite:) "This is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. I had no idea you could candy on fruit." Robin: "You can put candy on anything if you try hard enough. It's a worthy goal." Alice: "So, what's next?" Robin: "Actually, that's up to you. It's your turn, show me something you like." Alice: "I know just the place." (Alice offers her arm and Robin takes it.)

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. (Queen Madelena leads Henry down the steps towards the dungeons.) Henry: "Um, why are we back in the dungeon?" Queen Madelena: "Just wait here. I'll come get you when it's time. Someone's coming to help execute my plan." Guard: (Pushing Henry inside:) "Move along." Dungeons. (Ella sees Henry and runs to him.) Ella: "Henry! I thought you were dead." Henry: "No but, given my choices, I haven't ruled that option out." Ella: "Queen Madelena, you have me, you have the jewel. Now you must release my people." Queen Madelena: "Must I?" Ella: "Yes. You have to." Queen Madelena: "Have I?" Ella: "Yes." Queen Madelena: "Really?" Ella: "Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?" Queen Madelena: "Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?" Ella: "You... Don't hear it?" (Several prisoners mutter their agreement with Ella.) Henry: "You're sort of doing it a little bit." Ella: "I must speak with King Richard." Queen Madelena: "My dear girl... I am not King Richard, but I will enjoy killing you just the same. (Suddenly, Madelena grabs Henry and gives him a prolonged kiss, shoving him away when Gareth enters the dungeons:) Ah, Gareth. (Points to Ella:) Cut her face. Torture the rest." Gareth: (As Henry and Ella are taken back to their cells:) "Excuse me?" Queen Madelena: "I said torture them. Is there a problem?" Gareth: "No. There's not a problem. I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it. I once kept a guy alive for a week, and he was just a head and a finger. But that order came from the king, and I serve My King.” Queen Madelena: “Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this. He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman. He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby.” Gareth: “Hey! That was a birthday present. He got me that so I could have a sit down.” Queen Madelena: “You're a dog, Gareth. And a dog needs a strong master. Now sic 'em.” Storybrooke. Regina's Vault. (Zelena has brought Robin Hood to her sister's vault to clear the air.) Zelena: "Right, now that we're in a safe, secure location, we need to talk." Robin Hood: "I'm listening." Zelena: (Sighs:) "The other Robin, the one we knew here in Storybrooke, he had a child. Well, two, actually, but only one is here. A daughter. But, I mean, she's not yours. Not really." Robin Hood: "Does the mother know that? Who even is the mother?" Zelena: "I am. Our relationship, me and the other Robin that is, was complicated." Robin Hood: "Apparently, everything here is complicated." Zelena: (Smiles:) "I'll give you that. (Curiously:) Were you really going to kill Nottingham?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "You're not seriously going to judge me for that are you? I mean bloody hell, look around. I know dark magic when I see it. I mean, wh-what's in these?" Zelena: (Glances at the boxes:) "Uh, the hearts of my sister’s enemies, I believe." Robin Hood: "Oh. And this? This looks nasty enough." Zelena: "Oh, no, don't touch that! It's powerful." (Picks up a silver box and moves it out of reach.) Robin Hood: "Just who are you people? What aren't you telling me." Zelena: (Sighs again:) "My sister is the Evil Queen and I'm the Wicked Witch. Okay? Happy now? My history with you... with Robin Hood, it ended badly." Robin Hood: "Yeah, and judging by some of the stuff here, I can guess how, too." Zelena: "Look, we've changed. I don't know for sure what brought you here but since you are, you could be a part of a fresh start. Your fresh start." Robin Hood: (Considers her:) "And maybe one of your own, too?" Zelena: "Maybe. (Chuckles:) I don't know. When I first heard you were here I just wanted you gone as soon as possible." Robin Hood: "But now?" Zelena: "I think if we give ourselves a chance, maybe your being here could be a good thing." Robin Hood: (Sighs:) “Truth be told, compared to your version, there doesn’t seem like I have a lot to be getting back to. So, if you’re sure, I don’t necessarily see the harm in sticking around for awhile.” Zelena: “Hm, I still don’t want my daughter seeing you just yet, so you’ll have to keep out of sight for the time being.” Robin Hood: “Not a problem, in theory.” Zelena: “In theory?” Robin Hood: “Well, a man like me, a man of action, I will need to be kept entertained. Otherwise I could just get bored, wander off and turn up anywhere.” Zelena: “I see. And how do you suppose a man, such as yourself, would prefer his entertainment?” Robin Hood: “I guess that would depend on how much of a ‘fresh start’ you would like to have with the legendary Robin Hood.” (Shaking her head at the man’s bravado, Zelena considers his words, before making her decision.)

Swan-Mills House. (Emma and Regina discuss their options.) Regina: "I think you're overreacting." Emma: "He is literally a walking, talking reminder of our dreamscape, Regina." Regina: "We don't even know that's where he came from." Emma: "Consider the facts: Robin Hood is dead, buried, gone. Even if he were Robin's ghost, he'd know who we all are. Face it, we did this, we brought him here." Regina: "Then what about the timelines? If this Robin came from our shared dream, he would've been married to Marian, he would at least know who she was." Emma: "Okay, well if he isn't from our dreamscape, where did he come from?" Regina: "I don't know! There could be dozens of possible answers. He could be from a Wish Realm or he could've time travelled." Emma: (Skeptically:) "Seriously?" Regina: "Oh, cause that's so hard to believe, Princess Leia." Emma: "All right, fine. I just think until we know who or what he is, we need to cool it on the shared dreaming." Regina: "No." Emma: "Gina-" Regina: "No way. You know how much better I've been sleeping recently." Emma: "Yes, but-" Regina: "And how much closer we've become." Emma: "I know, but-" Regina: (Moving closer to her on the couch:) "Not to mention all the things we've yet to do... (Running her fingers teasingly over Emma's thigh:) that we could never possibly get away with in the real world." Emma: (Closing her eyes as many different scenarios suddenly flash before her eyes. Huskily:) "Regina..." Regina: (Moving even closer, nuzzling Emma's ear:) "I just think it'd be such a shame to never... ever... experience those possibilities that have been... (Nudging Emma's knees apart:) Opened to us." Emma: (Sighs, tilting her head back to allow Regina access:) "You don't play fair." Regina: (Smiling against her neck:) "No, I play to win." Swan-Mills House. Exterior. (Pulling up with Hook in his truck, David heads towards the garden.) Hook: "Why are we here?" David: "Like you said, Emma has magic, we don't." Hook: "Hang on. What is this?" David: "Emma and Regina are busy doing other things, right? So we borrow a few ingredients and a spell book, and we learn what happened to my father." Hook: (Pulling him back:) "Wait. Stop. Are you trying to cast a spell?" David: "Look, if you're too afraid, forget about it. I'll do it myself." Hook: "I'm not afraid. I'm concerned. You really have no qualms about stealing from your own daughter?" David: "What is with you today? You spend your whole life a thieving pirate, and the one time I need you to be that guy, you get cold feet." (David and Hook sneak into the back garden.) Hook: "Perhaps I'm trying not to be that guy anymore." David: "Come on, buddy. It's just me here. Now, I need you to pick the lock to the shed and then be a lookout. What do you say? (Reluctantly, Hook walks over to Regina's shed and, after a few moments, successfully manages to pick the lock:) There. That wasn't so hard. Now you keep watch." (Irritated beyond words by David's less than charming attitude, Hook nevertheless sneaks over to one of the back windows to check if anyone is at home. Peering in, Hook catches a glimpse of something sink behind the couch. Seeing no further movement, he dismisses it as nothing and returns to the shed. Unbeknownst to Hook, hidden by the back of the couch, Regina and Emma are busy making out, with Emma now wholeheartedly seeing Regina's point of view.) David: (Meeting Hook on the way out of the shed:) "Anyone home?" Hook: "No." David: "Right. Good work. Now let's find out who murdered my father."

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Dungeons. (Gareth stands sharpening his tools of torture while Henry and Ella talk through the bars of their adjoining cells.) Ella: "All right, we need an escape plan. What are you thinking?" Henry: "Here's what I think: If you really break it down... 'I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone' can mean a lot of things." Ella: "Oh, come on. She's the worst! She imprisoned us. I mean, yes, she's beautiful, in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way, if you're into that sort of thing." Henry: "Mm." Ella: "I know you, Henry. I know your heart, and you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man, someone who will fight with you, not against you." Henry: "So what you're saying is... you don't think she loves me?" (The other occupants of the dungeon all groan.) Jester: "Bloody hell. Oh, please, just stop the torture and kill me already." Gareth: "I haven't started yet." Jester: "He's not part of it?" Gareth: "Will everybody just shut up?! (Pointing one of his weapons at the Jester:) Do you want to know what real torture is?” Jester: “No, I'm good. Thanks.” Gareth: (Sighs, drops the mace and takes a seat on the stool:) “Imagine being loyal to someone your whole life. I'm not gonna tell you who, but hypothetically, we'll call him ‘the king.’ He's a bit of a ponce, but I like him. Then he gets married to this rump-fed basket cockle, who, hypothetically, we'll call ‘the queen.’” Henry: “We all know who you're talking about, Gareth.” Gareth: “Yeah but let me be cryptic for a minute, will ya?! Just give me that! Now, she's not like ‘the king.’ But she's strong, and I admire strength. But, then again, I've sworn an oath to protect the king. So I don't know what to do. I mean, that's real torture, isn't it, lads?” (Frustrated, Gareth gets to his feet and leaves the dungeons. Henry and Ella return their attention to each other.) Ella: "Seriously, Henry, you can't really be thinking about being with Madelena. When you love someone, you shout it from the rooftop, not couch it in a riddle." Henry: "I know." Ella: "You do?" Henry: "Of course I do. I come from a family of True Love. My parents, my grandparents. I just wanted you to think I was considering her offer to see how you'd react." Ella: "So you were testing me?" Henry: "I wanted to know if my feelings for you were in any small way reciprocated. (Pushing open his cell door:) It was cruel I know, but at least now I can see you do feel something for me." Ella: "Of course I do, you dope. (Pushing open her cell door:) Henry, you're not like any man I've ever met before." Henry: "And you inspire me to do things I never thought I could. Well, actually you more or less boss me into doing those things, but still." (They share a good natured laugh.) Ella: "Well, how's that for timing? Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I'm going to die." Henry: "No. No, you're not gonna die today. (Points at the occupants of the other cells:) And you're not gonna die today. And you're not gonna die today. (Gestures to a cell with a prisoner inside who hasn't moved since they've been in the dungeons:) You might already be dead." Ella: "Well, what are you going to do?" Henry: "What else? Save the day. (Henry goes to leave the dungeons when he turns back:) Have these doors been open the whole time? No one thought to check? (The Jester tests his cell door, which also opens:) Really?" Throne Room. (Madelena paces the floor when Gareth enters.) Queen Madelena: "Is it done? Did you torture them?” Gareth: “Nah.” Queen Madelena: “But I gave you an order.” Gareth: “I don't give a rat's arse about your orders. I might be a dog, but at least I'm a loyal one, love. Now, I serve the king, so I only follow his orders.” King Richard: (Standing in the doorway with Chef:) “That is so nice to hear. (Walks towards them:) You have always been my most loyal friend, Gareth. I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love.” Gareth: (Clearly uncomfortable:) “Mm.” King Richard: “Okay, couple of things. First, Chef, I am so munchy. Could you make me, like, a cheesy omelette with some ham chunks, potatoes fried in bacon grease?” Chef: “Right away, sire.” (He leaves.) King Richard: “Excellent. (To Madelena:) Next, I'm breaking up with you. Gareth, would you please escort Madelena down to the dungeon and lock her up forever? Huh?” Gareth: (Nods his approval to the king, then grabs Madelena’s arm:) “Come on.” Queen Madelena: “Wait! It would be rude to imprison your queen when we have such a special visitor.” King Richard: “What visitor? What are you talking about?” Kingsley: (Sitting on the throne:) “Hello, brother.” King Richard: “Kingsley?” Gareth: “What's he doing here?” King Richard: “What are you doing here?” Kingsley: “I'm here to take your life.” King Richard: “My life?” Kingsley: (Stepping down from the dais:) “Your lifestyle. Your kingdom. Of course, if you get in my way, I'll have to take your life, too... Dickie.” Queen Madelena: (Laughing:) “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

[musicallisto]

☀ Little Red Seal (pt. i)

In honor of the end of ES. These dorks have lighten up my Fridays for two years and I will miss them entirely. Hope this can make you crack a smile and remind you of better days.

word count: 3100+ words summary: In which Quinn leaves for six days because of a family affair and has no one to take care of her enthusiastic dog while she’s away - fortunately, her eleven loyal best friends are here to save the day. author notes: This will be mostly fluff and fun, but some bits are more stressful like this part! no romantic pairings, everyone is friends. AU: the gang finally reunited, alive and well being huge irresponsible dorks. the ending we deserved tbh. This will be in six parts, because otherwise it will get way too long. I randomized the pairs/teams for this series because I thought it would be more fun! Enjoy!

“THANK YOU SO much for coming on such short notice. You’re really taking a thorn out of my side,” Quinn repeated for the hundredth time at least, pacing furiously everywhere in her living room.

The nervous sound of her heels resonating against the wooden floor - click, click, click - had been the only audible sound for five minutes now as the redhead tried her best to keep her sophisticated bun neat and in place. Michelle had tried to count the amount of times she had paced like a caged lion apparently looking for her phone or her car keys, only to find out they were in her hands the whole time, thanked them for coming around and then went back to gallop around the sofas, but she had lost count after the seventh time.

“Really, it’s okay, Quinn. We’re happy to help,” she replied for the hundredth time as well, her hands furrowed in her pockets - she was this close to walking up to her best friend and having her sit down and keep calm for a second. She was going mad just by looking at her raging wandering.

“Yeah, we love doggos,” Craig added, gently petting the auburn fur of the English Cocker Spaniel, obediently sitting on his right. “They kinda remind me of me. Fun, sporty and a bit smelly.”

“I’m sure taking care of Rónán will be super fun,” Michelle enthusiastically continued, smiling widely. “And you know we can always call reinforcement if we need it. I promise you there’s nothing to worry about!”

Quinn sighed, leaning on the arm of her sofa. She looked down at her furry best friend with a kind smile - it was the first time she was leaving Rónán for more than a weekend, but an important family matter had come up and she was unable to decline the invitation. It would be six days, six days during which she would be away, not knowing if her energetic companion would be alright, and she probably would have freaked out completely if Michelle and Craig hadn’t sensed her despair and volunteered to take care of him for all the duration of her absence. Quinn was perfectly aware Rónán could be... a handful, and she didn’t want to burden her friends with such a charge at first, but when she realized she had no backup plan and after they actively convinced her it was really their idea and they were more than eager to spend a week with the happy young dog.

“Okay, so remember that Rónán has to be brushed - once a week should be enough -, and don’t forget the scissors for the underside of his paws, and to clean his ears, and give him a treat when you’re done with the upkeep, and grooming takes more or less three hours, but you won’t need to bathe him though, his dry food is under the sink, oh and never, ever give him chocolate and-”

“Quinn”, Michelle scowled, adopting her best surgeon voice, the authoritarian yet gentle one that tolerates no riposte, “we will be okay. Do you think I’m the type to be careless? Rónán is in good hands with us. If you should be worrying about someone, it’s Craig.”

“Hey!” the big man barked, outraged. “I don’t see why. I’m perfectly fine and - whoa, careful, pup! That was my foot!”

Quinn laughed, her habitual smile finally adorning her features. Craig and Michelle were going to be amazing keepers for her precious companion, she could be sure of it. Glancing rapidly at her watch, she got up, grabbed her suitcase, hugged her two friends, reminded them she owed them big time - to which Michelle answered the only thing she asked as a repayment is that she stopped thanking her -, affectionately ruffled the top of Rónán’s head and disappeared through her front door, heading to the airport, leaving her best friends together to look after each other, for better or for worse.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, Craig heaved out a sigh, mixture of relief and pure terror.

“Man, no pressure, right?”

“Okay, Craig, I know about your tendency to... cut loose from what you’re told to do, but... please don’t screw up. Quinn trusts us and this means the world for her.”

“Uh, excuse me? I don’t ‘screw up’. I’m a pro.”

“I’d call throwing into a bonfire six months’ worth of Sean’s essays a pretty big screw-up.”

“Yeah, well I-”

He was abruptly interrupted by a high-pitched whine at his feet. Looking down, Craig was taken aback by the pleading eyes of the puppy and his sadly wagging tail, as if he were desperately trying to tell his new masters something with his canine sorrow.

“Aw, Meech, look, he’s giving me the puppy look! He must want us to stop bickering.”

“Craig, he’s literally a puppy, that’s why he’s giving you the puppy l-”

But Craig had stopped listening to the med, crouched by the dog’s side to reach his little height, his face leaning to meet Rónán’s, their noses almost touching, a huge smile spread on his lips. He could feel the dog’s highly discouraging hot breath blowing directly on his face, but at that precise moment, the adorableness of the small animal had simply erased every other sensation.

“Ain’t that right, huh, pup? You’re whining because you want us to stop fighting and you want us to stop fighting because you’re a goooood doggo,” he slurred with an abnormally deep voice, contently scratching the furry, auburn chin of the pet.

“Please, Craig, he’s literally whining because he’s hungry,” Michelle snapped at him, crouching down beside Craig and carefully taking Rónán in her arms. At the mention of the last word, the dog excitedly looked down at his new savior, his new goddess, the one who had understood the deepest of his desires: food.

“Oh, you’re probably right. I’ll get the food!” Craig exclaimed, energetically running to the kitchen, leaving Michelle with her newest patient.

“We’ll take good care of you, don’t worry,” the surgeon hummed under her breath, lovingly petting the top of Rónán’s head, right between his enormous, curly, and absolutely adorable ears. “And don’t be afraid of Craig...,” she laughed to herself, still caressing the puppy, her gestures kind and motherly, something she had never noticed in her. “He can be a handful at times, but he’s nice, you’ll see.”

“Meech! Where do I find the dish?” resonated from the kitchen door, left wide open.

Michelle, laughing heartily now, carefully set down the dog; he immediately started wagging his tail, more vigorously now, and raised his eyes, full of hope and belief, to the young woman.

“I should probably help him,” she murmured with a smile.

It was undeniably going to be a fascinating week, to say the least.

“Why do you hate me, Meech?”

“What do you mean? I don’t hate you, Craig.”

“I dunno. You’re always mean and sassy with me. It’s like you despise me.”

The two young adults were sprayed on the couch, a cold Heineken each open, their eyes glued on some reality TV program on television - something about ladies competing for a foreign King’s hand - without even taking in the information flickering in front of their faces. The night had fallen for some time now; Michelle hadn’t looked at her watch for a long time, but she estimated it must have been three hours since Quinn had left them with Rónán. So far so good, she had thought to herself after feeding the animal. Craig turned out to be more delicate than she could ever have imagined with the small beast, caressing his fur with gentleness and even giving him a few treats after his meal - he had insisted, arguing that he deserved a dessert since he, unfortunately, couldn’t have alcohol. Michelle had rolled her eyes, but let him proceed nevertheless. They had nearly collapsed on Quinn’s sofa after grabbing refreshments from her fridge - she wouldn’t mind, right? Although they had spent very little time with the dog, allowing him to play around the house without paying too much attention to him or being glued to the poor boy, they were exhausted, as though the mere concept of being in charge of someone was physically draining.

Michelle sighed heavily. It was true she was accustomed to having her snarky façade on whenever she talked to other people, but that was the way she was, the way she had been brought up and forged through adolescence - and Craig, although far from being stupid, had a harder time understanding that than the others.

Because she didn’t have any special resentment towards Craig, right?

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m that way with everyone. Jake acts like that too and you never whined because he ‘hated you’.”

“But it’s like it goes deeper than that with me. Is it because you hooked up with my best friend?”

“Jesus, Craig, I know subtlety is not your forte, but-”

“I know you think I’m stupid,” he continued, bringing the freezing bottle to his lips and swallowing a large mouthful of beer. “You’re not the only one. That’s my role. I know it. I’m the dumb jock. And Sean is the nice jock. I get it. But you know, it would be cool if you didn’t constantly treat me like a... nobody. A good-for-nothing, yanno. It’s... It gets tiring.”

Michelle remained silent, her beer hanging over a precipice of rugged carpets and white sofas. She had never thought about the effect her behavior - coupled with all the others’ - could have on Craig, since he had always looked like someone who wasn’t concerned one bit about the way people viewed him. All of sudden, she was at a loss for words, conflicted, her fingers shaking a little.

“Listen, Craig, I-”

Her sentence was cut sharp by a brusque sound coming from behind the sofa, far from their field of vision. Michelle, suddenly tensed, placed the bottle on the coffee table and straightened up, eyeing the back of the piece of furniture.

There wistfully sat Rónán, his long, fluffy ears apologetically sweeping the bright wooden floor of the living room, looking down with a grimace and a canine frown at a pool of brownish vomit at his paws.

“He threw up,” Michelle announced, a wave of sympathy and concern engulfing her, just like when one of her patients had a negative reaction to one of her treatments.

“Oh,” Craig sighed sadly. “I guess you don’t really like chocolate, huh, little guy?”

Michelle froze instantly. She turned her iron gaze towards an oblivious Craig with an agonizing slowness.

“You. Gave. Him. What?”

“Uh... chocolate? I read dogs like ch-”

“For fuck’s sake, Craig, chocolate is toxic for dogs!” Michelle yelled, standing up in a swift movement, half of her bones cracking at the unexpected gesture. She tried to hide the anxious trembling of her fingers by running a desperate hand through her mane. “In what timeline and in what dimension did you think it was a good idea to give him chocolate?!”

“I-I don’t know!” he screamed in return, eyes darting furiously between Michelle, his beer and the terrified-looking puppy, who apparently didn’t understand the sudden racket. “He was giving me the puppy look, I-”

“It’s a puppy! It’s the only look it has!” Michelle continued roaring, her hands flying around her body to give more credibility to her anger now. “Please- stop thinking!”

“I-I-I’m sorry! I screwed up! I didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t! You never know anything! This is serious, Craig! It can be lethal! Just... just... just clean up this mess and I’ll take care of Rónán!”

“Can you.. cure him?”

“I operate on kids with appendicitis, Craig! Not intoxicated Spaniels!”

“R-Right!” he exclaimed, running to the bathroom, frantically searching for a floorcloth to salvage Quinn’s floor.

Michelle ran to scoop the shaking puppy in her arms as delicately as she could. Truth to be told, she had acted all severe and confident when facing Craig, but she had been transported by exasperation and nerves and had, in fact, no idea what to do. She had been trained to give heart transplants, not save a dog from food poisoning! She didn’t even know if it was grave enough to go to the vet, and even if it was, she had no idea where she could find a clinic still open at that hour, or just any clinic, really - she didn’t know the neighborhood, and definitely didn’t have the time to check on the Internet, and even less stroll around the streets with the dog cradled in her arms hoping to stumble across a green cross...

What could she do? What did she know that could be useful? What had she learned about humans that could be applied to animals? What would Quinn say if she found out they had put Rónán in such danger? Would she hate them? Would she ever trust them with something important? Was she really that irresponsible? She never made those kinds of careless mistakes, she was trained, she had specially studied to face those critical situations, never to let any detail escape from her mind, and yet there she was; could she consider herself a good surgeon after all? What could she do, what could she do? Could she try to give him water, just like she would have done for a patient with food poisoning? But for a dog? Would it work? Could she try that artisanal remedy? What could she do, what c-

“What are you doing, Meech?” Craig called out from behind her back, a mop in one hand and a water bucket in the other, running to the lump-filled stain. “Either get him to the vet or make him throw up but don’t stand there like a lemon!”

His voice was full of a sense of urgency, so uncharacteristic: Michelle could witness he was deeply regretting his actions and wanted to make it up to her, to Rónán, to Quinn, and to himself. Abruptly sent back to reality, Michelle stammered inaudible words, almost dropping the pup. “Michelle, you got this. You’ve had worse crises.” Her inner voice rang strong and sharp inside her mind, and all the critical decisions she’d had to take in her life flashed before her eyes in an instant. Taking a deep, cold breath, she ran to the bathroom, holding securely the ginger puppy against her heart, whose eyelids were starting to flutter heavily. She knew how to make a dog vomit; she had been overwhelmed by nerves and the fear of Quinn’s hatred if something bad happened to Rónán while he was under her responsibility. She had completely lost her composure, something that never happened normally. Something she had been prepared, educated to avoid for years. Biting her lip, she scanned the drawers for a syringe, but her research remained fruitless; Rónán had now gone completely immobile in her arms. She was about to leave the room when her eyes caught the sight of a little note on the sink - picking it up, she recognized Quinn’s cursive handwriting... and the address of her habitual veterinarian. She breathed out the longest sigh of relief in her entire life.

“Craig!” she called. “Take the keys, we’re going to the vet!”

The drive home was lulled by the soft sound of an indie rock song playing on Michelle’s car radio. Craig, riding shotgun, glanced every now and then at the sound asleep, fluffy figure on the backseat with fondness. His armored, football heart had been pierced by the big, black eyes of the red puppy. Rónán was out of danger thanks to the treatment provided by the veterinarian, much more elaborate than anything Michelle could have ever done. Her fingers drummed mindlessly on the steering wheel, biting back yawns. In the end, she had panicked for something merely trivial that could’ve been resorted with a simple visit to a clinic, but she was terrified of letting Quinn down that she had let her nerves get the best of her. She was eager to finally let the Cocker rest in his bed, and sleep herself. It was close to midnight and she was starting to feel the rampage of a migraine closing in, like claws tightening around her temples.

“Hey, Craig?” she asked softly, partly because her headache was dangerously threatening and partly because she didn’t want to be rebuffed violently.

“Hm?” the man groaned, his eyes fixed on the escaping night road outside the window.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. You snapped me out of it and you... were actually the calm and reasonable one,” she laughed nervously. “And I’m sorry for the way I treat you. I didn’t think it affected you that much, I wouldn’t have if I had known about it. I’m sorry. Really.”

“Nah, it’s okay, Meech,” Craig shrugged. “You stressed out. It happens. And I’m kinda used to being seen like that by now.”

“But that’s the saddest part of it. You shouldn’t be used to being taken for granted. I want to make sure you get used to being treated like a damn hero. Because that’s what you are. You’re way too cool to be taken for granted.”

A small smile crept onto Craig’s lips, unstoppable.

“Yeah, guess I’m freaking cool after all. But thanks, Meech.”

“Now don’t tell anyone I went soft on you or I’ll choke you with my Gucci.”

He laughed, and she smiled to herself, a bit revived after the nerve-racking events of the evening. Looking up to the rear-view, her eyes met the peaceful puppy, wiggling instinctively in his sleep, his ears folded back on his eyes like an umbrella protecting him from the outside world... and her grin grew even wider. It seemed like a young, carefree, hairy companion was exactly what Michelle needed to unwind, and put things into perspective.

A dim, blue light suddenly filled the passenger compartment of the car.

“Taylor asks how the babysitting is going,” Craig distractedly announced, typing something on his phone.

A puckish glint lit up in Michelle’s eyes, still focused on the road.

“Tell her she can come meet the little guy if she’d like.”