#which feels like such a disservice to them both
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ABOUT THE CAITVI SEX SCENE,
Guys as someone who has desperately shipped CaitVi since season 1 I can admit I’ve watched that sex scene more times than I care to admit and it really is BEAUTIFUL but as meaningful as that scene is to them I can still admit the lead up to it, and placing it at a point in the episode where Vi knew Jinx was about to kill herself or at least alluded to it does feel like… bad writing?
The last 3 episodes did take the behemoth task of seeing all these arcs to their conclusion so there’s no point in this episode where the sex scene could be seen as placed well without making major changes. The only other option I see would be hatesex immediately after their argument in episode 8 but that would also not be fair to caitlyn and vi themselves.
I can also see the scene going with their fight, caitlyn apologising but Vi doesn’t forgive her. THEN, proves through her actions that she’s cupcake again by letting Vi free jinx then have sex (this flows better for both of their characters while still not resolving the Jinx issue)
Or they could explicitly have jinx just betray Vi again without expressing her intentions?? Which again does disservice to Jinx.
Having the scene at the end would also be a huge NO as Vi just lost her sister. Overall the writers did really write themselves into a corner where they had to pick the least problematic timeframe. However the animation was gorgeous and the scene was all I’ve wanted as CaitVi stan so we take what we get ig.
#caitvi#vicait#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#violyn#vi x caitlyn#screaming because the scene was so HOT but also so conflicted
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doozi's transformers fic rec list round one!!
📚 FIC REC MASTERLIST
Ehehehe Transformers time. First round is all reader inserts because I love reader inserts and ik a lot of people who follow me here enjoy them too :] Next round will probably be a mix of other ship stuff (aka. anything but reader inserts LMAO)
For those of you who are new here, this will be VERY long. I like to chatter a LOT. And for those that have seen any of my other rec lists... you know what's up.
The STATUS of each fic is labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued or Indefinite Hiatus. Oneshots are also marked accordingly.
Fics with Explicit content and/or Dark themes have also been labelled to the best of my memory. (I don’t mark fics with suggestive themes/moments and no explicit smut, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death, gore, or other upsetting topics are central to the plot, I [probably] won’t mark it as "dark".)
I've also done my best to label each of these with which continuity they (broadly) exist in, if it's relevant. If it's not labelled it's likely because it's because I couldn't decide on a tag and/or it's set in an AU divorced enough from any specific continuity that I figured that a tag would just be a disservice to any sort of filtering. Either that, or I just missed it LMAO.
Also, usually I try not to include TOO many fics with explicit content in these lists because my blog isn't specifically 18+ but uhhhh some of these are Pretty Damn Explicit, so use your best judgement while reading and all that 👍
Please tread carefully while reading, check tags, take breaks, drink water and HAVE FUN <3
=========================
MULTICHAPTERS
Words and Wishes - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Finished
One of the first few TF fics I read!! I'm a big fan of first contact AUs and linguistics so I fell in love with this fic immediately. I also fell in love with Swerve immediately. He's SO freakin cute in this. I read it before finishing IDW and so when I eventually got to Swerve in the comics I was like "OHHH!!! That's Swerve!? My beloved shooting star..."
The author's other work in the series (same premise, different character), Fox in Shining Armor is also HELLA cute.
Reciprocated - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Finished
The reader has a teeny tiny lil crush on Soundwave, which he discovers while monitoring Autobot communications. He continues listening in and begins to feel the same :]!
This one makes me cry every time I read it, it's just SO sweet and lovely and just. AUGH!!! There's no words for how freakin CUTE it is. I've read it soooo many times.
Flick of the Wrist - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
More first contact crashlandings!! Except it's WHIRL which is so so fun. He causes much property damage and you wouldn't trade him for the world.
The Angel of Highway 49 - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
One of my favourite authors!!! I was so heckin excited when I realised they were posting Transformers fic LMAO.
And rightfully so! The fic is fantastic so far- Optimus becomes a sort of ghost story, a stranger who helps people along the highways. He's confusing and comforting and he's seemingly taken it upon himself to protect you.
Social Media Etiquette - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
The start of this is a really funny concept (buncha coworkers discussing which Autobot they'd bang) and then it just continues on being super super adorable and sweet. I love TFA!Prowl and I love the way he's written in this!!!
Swaps seamlessly between cute romantic trysts and the absolute chaos of other people watching these two wander into love.
winter of our youth - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Ultra Magnus accidentally ends up with a human companion who mostly wants to get back to their own life, only for both to become steadily more entangled. I absolutely adore the vibes in this fic- it feels slow, soft, and bright like a world muffled by snow.
west texas wind - [ G1 ] - Protectobots/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
By the same author as above! Protectobots my BELOVED. It's so soft and sweet and auuauauhghhh I need more. It updated while I was in the middle of writing this list and just ahh! I LOVE IT. So cute. So sweet. I love seeing the different characters reactions to each other and their actions- it's so fun.
You should also go check out their other fics, because the way they write character dynamics is sooo lovely, and their fics have been Nourishing me because I'm in love with a lot of characters that rarely get reader inserts :'> !!!
In particular I'm a fan of: haunt, invisible string, their prowl fics (<- two links!!!), AND also this set of oneshots; glory !
empurata - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
As a neutral party in all this war stuff, you just want to help fix up bots. This ends up endearing you to both factions, which results in you befriending one explosive Wrecker, and sometimes hosting a bunch of Decepticons in your garage.
TFP setting with a dash of IDW lore <3 I love the way the relationships develop in this fic- Shcokwaves emotions (or lack of) is always fun to explore, especially in the context of love and having Romantic Feelings. It gets even more complicated when the thing preventing him from feeling things begins to malfunction...
Small Hands - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader, Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Soulmate AU!! Oohoho I love soulmate AUs... having THIS one be handprints is an especially fun, considering the size difference !!! Also, I love the way Cybertronian soulmates work :0
OP and the reader interacting and slooooowly figuring things out is very sweet.
knock us down and we'll keep on going - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Who knew deleting your ex off of social media would lead to you getting kidnapped by a car then falling for said car? KO and the reader get to be an iconic bi4bi couple, and you also get a cat! Who's totally normal and not a decepticon. Very very cute, funny, and also angsty in parts in a really good way (Breakdown... he only shows up in mentions but my HEART ;w;)
Series is ongoing, but the fics are finished :]
Breaking Bread - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Some sorta warning for the SHEER AMOUNT OF HORNY that the characters experience in this (/appreciative)]
There is no way I can make a TF fic rec list and NOT include the fic that made me SO unwell about TFP Soundwave before I got into Transformers. Phenomenal writing, snappy dialogue and absolute CHAOS and CHEMISTRY (both of the romantic and literal kind).
The various animal-related descriptors of all the bots are cemented in my brain as well as several playlists worth of music. My Spotify will never recover.
I was already attached to Soundwave from the start, but my absolute favorite animals are jellyfish, so when that parallel was drawn, I swooned even harder... ALAS. *gives a sad, sidelong glance at the main ship tag*
Also, I'm in love with the Anime-Waifu-Madness-slash-Marriage-Counselling-Arc that's going on at the moment because HOW did we get here and WHY does it work so well????
Fortuna Primigenia - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Same author as the previous fic! I originally read this immediately after catching up with Breaking Bread and it absolutely destroyed me (and my sleep schedule)!! I cried!! So much!!!!! AHHHHHH!!! Fascinating concepts, and wonderful execution. Makes me want to eat drywall.
ALSO while I'm here, you should also read Blackbird [E] because the reader realising their "metal Adonis" is a "liar and a pussy" made me laugh so hard I cried for a different reason and it's also really good my god.
50% Plant Based - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
HYSTERICAL fic. Really funny. The reader is a menace and I'm living for it. You haunt the Nemesis and somehow seduce Megatron with your Silly Guy wiles, and also by bullying Starscream. The reader is incapable of expressing any genuine emotion without like 10 layers of Humor on top of it, which is hilarious when combined with an overly poetic warlord who feels every emotion with the dramatics of a Shakespearean play.
And I met you in the rain - [ G1-ish ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Prowl is down bad for a human that he's been seeing in his dreams and gets the chance to save her when he happens upon her in the rain. This fic reminds me of a romance movie in the best ways.
Romantic Mixtape Side A - [ G1-ish ] - Con Cassettes/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
You kiss a buncha cassettes after one of them crashes through your wall! Domestic and cute for the large part- you get them to all be nicer to each other sjkdfhskjdf
Slice of life, but with big alien bots <3
Revelboo's Fic Collection - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Go read Revelboo's fics now!!! She updates So Fast it scares me. But I'm eating them up like candy because each installment is bite sized and delicious.
My favourites so far are the fics for Jazz, Sunstreaker+Sideswipe, Bluestreak, Thundercracker, ES!Megatron, Rumble and Prowl but oh my god every single one of them is amazing. OH AND THE ONE WITH THE SCAVENGERS. If you think that's a long list of characters, that's because the actual list of ongoing fics is EVEN LONGER.
They're also up on Ao3 if you prefer to read stuff there :]!!
D-16 (Megatron) x Reader – The Creature From Another World - [ TFOne ] - D16 | Megatron/Reader - Finished
Have I mentioned I love language barriers? It's so fun. Everyone thinks you're a fun little creature... until you get your translator fixed of course :]
The ending of this is so perfectly tragic and it fits so well with D-16's transition into becoming Megatron!!
Canary in a Coal Mine - [ TFP ] - Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains dark themes]
The Decepticons won and have taken over Earth, enslaving humanity and leaving razed ground in their wake. Your voice is the only thing you truly have to yourself any more,
This fic leaves a bitter and gritty taste in your mouth. I love it.
Crosscheck on Angels 10 - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
After Starscream strikes it out on his own, you end up becoming an unexpected light in the darkness for him, much to the concern of Ratchet.
I really like how Arcee's anger is portrayed in this- it feels so visceral.
They Just Wanted to Relax - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
You work with automobiles and one day you begin getting a buncha weeeeeeird customers. I love the reader slowly putting the pieces together. It's so fun.
Metal Lung - [ TFP ] - Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
This one is just starting out and I'm HOOKED already. The premise is fantastic, and it's paired with some extremely evocative writing.
The reader is an agent of MECH who ends up infiltrating the Decepticons after signing their death sentence and stepping inside the MECHA they've been working on...
Adrift in the Lagoon - [ IDW ] - Mer!Drift/Reader - Finished
Mermechs...... Drift as a mermech... *swoons* be still my beating heart!! He's really freaking cute in this, I wanna kiss him and smoosh his cheeks.
TwinTails - [ G1-(f)ish ] - Mer!Sideswipe/Reader, Mer!Sunstreaker/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Captive mer fic >:]c !!! You're a scientist who works with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, helping them and growing closer. You eventually help them escape of course, but that comes with it's own slew of problems.
I!! Love!! Language barriers!!! And this does not disappoint! I'm fascinated and delighted by the eventual work around for the language barrier as well, because it's nit perfect but it works and it's so cool to see both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker finding their own ways to communicate and connect with the reader in this.
Smut is skippable in this, but why would you want to do that? It's amazing :3c
Marine Centre -Merformers AU - Misc./Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Even MORE mer fic. This one has a wider cast of mer which is DELIGHTFUL because you get to see all the different personalities interacting. Also I saw that there's more content with the ladies planned later so I'm DOUBLY excited 💖
Full Throttle - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
You're a janitor tasked with cleaning up after the unethical experiments the military are performing on Starscream, and end up growing close to him as you treat him kindly :]
Gravity - [ G1-ish ] - Starscream/Reader - Finished
Same author as previous! This time you're one of the scientists tasked with studying Starscream and he gets to be a tremendous menace the entire time. I love that in many ways, he's studying you too.
Displeasures of the Flesh - [ IDW ] Human!Kaon/Reader, Human!Vos/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Gore and horror themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
This is humanformers but it's humanformers if they were FORMERLY bots and that in itself is enough to sell me on the concept because DUDE hell yeah ??
Anyway I love these fucked up little guys. They've got to reckon with suddenly becoming human, and you've got to deal with THEM.
Best Job Ever - [ Bayverse/ROTB ] Mirage/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
CARWASHING EHEHEHE. You get a certain customer who keeps requesting you wash his car... and well, the second chapter is explicit :]
Hit Me Hard (Hit Me Fast) - [ TFP ] Knock Out/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Sometimes the cute guy you've been talking to turns out to be a talking walking car alien, and you have Feelings about that!!
Decadence - Starscream/Reader, Shockwave/Reader, Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Gore and horror themes]
I absolutely love the descriptions in this fic. Deliciously disgusting, it's not for the light of heart. Everything in this fic feels Squishy and visceral and I love it.
You're a paramedic, called to the sight of a grisly and unusual accident. Even more unusual is the giant metal angel who appears to terrorize you.
sugar (daddy), oh, honey honey - [ TFA ] - Swindle/Reader - Oneshot
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
The DYNAMIC between Swindle and the reader in this one. My god. MY GOD. He's your sugar baby essentially kjhfksjfh,, it's a mutually beneficial agreement!! I would let my bank account get drained by him.
"Improving alien relations" sounds better than "a really nice hook-up" - [ IDW ] - Swerve/Reader - Oneshot
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
The title is self explanatory sdjfhskdfh <3 You're a human in a mech suit and Swerve's got his holoform going... I'd make a joke but the author already did that in the summary LOL. He's such a sweetheart...
To live, and to serve - [ TFOne ] - Sentinel Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
TFOne!Sentinel Prime is his own warning- the relationship is Not Good At All but it is so fun to read. He's so awful and I wanna kiss him. Grahhh I love this nasty man!!!
To Endure - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Timeloops my BELOVED. The reader gets stuck in a timeloop along with Soundwave. Both of them are working towards opposite outcomes and the reader decides they're going to make it Soundwave's problem. Humans are squishy after all...
I love the push and pull between Soundwave and the reader in this <3
Our thoughts are all mechanical - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
You're suffering from energon poisoning, and the only cure? Cuddles!! No, like, legit. You get many many medically incurred cuddles.
Very very sweet fic! So much mutual pining... 💖!!
Enough - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Finished
Things end happily but ehehehe I am eating up the sweet sweet misunderstandings and angst in this fic. Makes me want to vibrate out of my seat.
To Fake a Funeral - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Another newer fic! It's just started out but it's so good already... the reader is Jack's sister and gets into a bunch of shenanigans when she returns to Jasper on a temporary break from college. Like getting captured so you csn fix up the comatose leader of the Decepticons and meeting the Autobots who your little brother has been hanging out with.
Klik away - [ IDW2/G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Prowl gets saddled with a very unfortunate human until they can be returned to earth. Despite their differences, both end up growing fond of each other :]
ALSO. GREEN IS HERE. 🥺✨ Baby baby baby I love her!!
~* Gladiators of Kaon *~ - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Megatron/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content...?]
Rhhghdgh I'm not all the way caught up on this one yet (thus the question mark in the warning. I Know it's coming) but I'm adding it anyway because what I HAVE read I'm in love with. It's set before the war, so we get gladiators Megatron and Soundwave >:33c!! Also I'd put my life on the line for Swindle. He's such a little GUY.
The author's other series Butterfly Effect [E] (ft. a human reader) is also really good!!
The Darkest Hour (Optimus x You) - [ TFP ] - Optimus Prime/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
I'm really enjoying where this is going so far >:3c! The reader is a reporter who is dedicated to uncovering the truth, but is also prone to lying in order to get where the information they need ;] I'm so unwell over their dynamic in this fic.
Burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar - [ TFP ] - Ultra Magnus/Reader - Finished
[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]
Auuauuiahgh Ultra Magnus..... after getting into a fight with Knock Out within sight of a human, he ends up with you as a companion. Groundbridge is broken, so cue a very long, unplanned roadtrip. It's sooo good.
Spilling Sugar - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader, Shockwave/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
Poly!!! Triad!!!!!!! Soundwave/Reader/Shockwave!!! They are sooooo cute. I love polyamory negotiations and figuring things out and AHHH I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY. The reader teaching Shockwave texting shorthand and emotes is so cute... AUUIGGHD MY HEART auuuauuhgh.
More reader inserts need to let me kiss multiple characters and for them to kiss each other. Love is love is love. Where are all the TF poly reader inserts I need more!!!
=========================
ONESHOTS
Universal Constant - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
Series of soulmate oneshots!! I love these. I especially enjoyed the ones for Fulcrum, TFP Ratchet, Dratchet (!!! YES!! POLY!!!!) and TFA Prowl <3
One to One - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
More!! Soulmate oneshots!! I love all of them :']]!!!! They're all just really really good I can't pick any favorites skdjfjkhfh
Locks To Fit the Keys - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
This one has it so that Cybertronians can only transform once they find their soulmate- as such, locks, keys... there are so many oneshots in this collection and I adore all of them. This was another one I read before I got into TF LMAO so it was fun going back and rereading them now I know who everyone is XD
Also, not all of these have happy endings >:3c!!! Many do, but not all, and I love that!!
Passing thoughts; obscurest bots - Misc./Reader - Oneshot Series
A series dedicated to lovin on obscure bots and side characters!! I've linked it to the SFW edition, which includes Defensor and Pipes, both of whom I love dearly.
Poly-Combaticons X Reader – Hostage - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot
Wanna smooooch a gestalt? I wanna smooch a gestalt. You're taken hostage and this bunch ends up growing fond of you, and decide to break you out because you're theirs now.
Code: LOVE - [ G1 ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
KJRAHRJKHFJF I love this one so much. The reader dresses up in a sexy police outfit for Prowl, except he's kinda oblivious, something that the rest of the base is more than happy to clear up for him, much to his and your detriment. It's extremely funny and cute.
Can't Keep Up - [ TFA ] - Blurr/Reader - Oneshot
You find out your best friend and racing partner IS the car he drives when you're unexpectedly ambushed by Decepticons.
softest spot to sleep in - [ G1 ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot
Titties........... medically prescribed titties... !! Very cute, very soft. I want this to be real... Like Ratchet's boobs
Making Space - [ TFP ] - Optimus/Reader - Oneshot
You spend some time sitting in a very intimate position as Optimus does desk work. He places you between his legs and I'm. hrhghjkjfjkks,, thighs.
RELIC I JUST REALISED YOU WROTE THIS ONE. I'VE BEEN UNWELL OVER IT FOR SO LONG. THIGHS. MY GOD.
Copy - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
The reader has a very fun power in this >:3c I won't spoil it because I think it's better experienced, but oh my god the bit at the end where the reader's reveal fails at first had me in stitches. Really fun and very cute.
kindness - [ IDW ] - Sunstreaker/Reader - Oneshot
Sunstreaker is freakin ADORABLE in this <3!! It's set on the Lost Light as well, which is a rarity that I love.
Our Shirt - [ IDW ] - Spinister/Reader - Oneshot
I'm a sucker for Spinister!!! My beautiful dumbass heli!! Short and sweet akjhsdkjf
Booty Shorts - [ IDW ] - Whirl/Reader - Oneshot
WHIRL IN BOOTY SHORTS, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?
Based off of this fantastic piece of artwork! I think this was the one of the first times I read anything relating to Whirl and it was such a delightful introduction.
The Concept of Cohabitation - [ G1 ] - Combaticons/Reader - Oneshot
Reader is dating Swindle, but due to Combiner Feels, the others end up feeling the same way, and well... you're not complaining ;]! Focus is on Onslaught in this, but the other ships are very much implied.
The Last Time This Happened Megatron X Reader - Megatron/Reader - Oneshot
The reader is a dimension hopper, and gets stuck in a cave with Earthspark!Megatron. You've seen him die again and again throughout dimensions, and now... it might be your turn. Very sweet and sad... the reader carrying the weight of half a dozen histories is so good.
This Is Not A Negotiation - [ IDW(SG) ] - Shattered Glass!Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
Shattered Glass Rodimus... I love him despite his shitty little moustache. The reader runs around in a mech suit and he doesn't realise that they're human until both of them catch Feelings >:)))!!! Really really fun premise, and deliciously written.
Scout and Medic - [ TFP ] - Arcee/Reader - Oneshot
You're Arcee's partner and the two of you get the chance to reunite on Earth! Short and sweet :D
Fated Nonsense - [ TFP ] - Knock Out/Reader/Breakdown - Oneshot
Unrequited pining? Kinda? Essentially the reader keeps running into two handsome cars and they pine for the funny little human they keep seeing around. Very very cute, even though you don't know they aren't just cars. WAIT I JUST REALISED THAT THIS IS THE SAME AUTHOR AS RECIPROCATED HANG ON-
Woke Up In A Safe House, Singing - [ TFP ] - Airachnid/Reader - Oneshot
Because of that realisation, I also now have more fics to add to the list!! AIRACHNID MY BELOVED. I absolutely adore how intimidating but gentle she is in this fic. Very very sweet. Get you a big spider lady to treat you right!!!!
Alien Parenting 101 - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader - Oneshot
You are babysitting your roommates kid and are summoned to the Nemesis, where nobody is immune to Cute Baby. I'm gonna cry it's so cute...!!!
Of All The Mechs... - [ TFA ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot
Your gaze ends up lingering a little too long on the enemy. Little baby me is cheering and whooping at the back of my brain because TFA Starscream was my fav when I was a kid.
Butterscotch - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
Cuteeeeee. Movie night with a very smitten Prowl who doesn't know what to do with himself. Cuddles ensue <33 Soooo so cute!!!
Pen And Paper - [ TFA ] - Prowl/Reader - Oneshot
Seems like Megatron has an admirer... he takes it upon himself to find out whoever has been leaving him such detailed and beautiful artworks. SO CUTE.
Hypothetically speaking - [ IDW ] - Rodimus/Reader - Oneshot
So... hypothetically speaking, if there was a fic that was super cute and funny about the reader hypothetically liking Rodimus in which they decide to confess to him in hypotheticals...well, hypothetically, would you read it? (The fic is filled with hypotheticals and silly cuteness!!)
Take a Break - [ TFP ] - Ratchet/Reader - Oneshot
Very cute!! You force Ratchet to take a break for once, and the two of you spend some time watching the sunset :]!
Swoop - [ G1 ] - Thundercracker/Reader - Oneshot
He's so smooth in this!!! My little heart can't take it!! Smooth moves TC, smooth moves. So cute!
Runway 19 - [ G1/IDW-ish ] - Jazz/Reader - Oneshot
A soft, slow fic which details the growing tension between a government agent and their car. The quiet intimacy of this fic kills me, it's sooo good...
=========================
PLATONIC & AMBIGUOUS
Platonic reader inserts!! Because I love them and I think they should get more attention <3 (Also includes fics which are tagged with both / and &, or otherwise ambiguously romantic/platonic fics)
In Media Bellum - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
This fic has me in a vice grip. I love love love the mysteries and the dynamics between the reader and the other characters. It's so fascinating to see the dynamics unfold. This fic makes me feel so many things!!!
Sparkless - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
You get a Vehicon friend and a lot of scares along the way :]!! I love! Fics like this!!!
Critter - [ TFP ] - Soundwave/Reader || Soundwave&Reader - Oneshot
Giant metal creatures can be scary, no matter how well meaning or kind they might be. Soundwave finds the reader after an Incident with the Autobots, and he is very attentive and gentle with them. Makes me feel soft!!
Too Close For Comfort - [ IDW ] - Rodimus&Reader - Finished
Language barriers >:3c!!!!! Mmmm Rodimus thinking of himself as heroic when he's unintentionally the opposite is one of my favourite flavours of Rodimus, and this series tackles that in a really fun way. The opposing perspectives are SO good and I love that the same scene is seen in such different ways by characters. The tension that grows throughout the series is So good.
I especially enjoyed Sparkbeat, A Game of Mech and Mouse AND ALSO Darkness is Honest, Are You to Yourself? because I love hopeful endings <3
Playing With His Food - [ TFP ] - Starscream/Reader - Oneshot
You get into a dogfight with an unusual sort of plane and Starscream finds himself a new toy of sorts :3c I really enjoy that there's a language barrier but we as the audience still get to know what Starscream is saying. AUGH I love the dialogue. So good.
Snow Angel - [ G1 ] - Skyfire&Reader - Oneshot
You get lost in the snowy wilderness, but luckily you are found by some sort of angel... I looooove this so much. I love the delayed reaction the reader has because of the cold... and Skyfire is so gentle, it makes my heart skip a beat every time I read this.
Ignition - Ratchet&Reader - Finished
More first contact stuff!!! Ratchet stumbles across an injured human after crash landing on Earth. He tries to help, with mixed results. Again, I'm a big fan of language barriers, and I enjoyed Ratchet figuring out how to help the human to the best of his ability without being abke to properly communicate at the beginning. The moment when commutation IS established is also very funny to me sbfjdbdk
I love Transformers. I love Stardew Valley. This fic mashes them both together in a really fun way!! You, as per Stardew Valley fashion, inherit your grandfather's farm, except you end up finding a dog and a strange... doll? One becomes many and soon you have the entire (tiny!) Lost Light crew living with you.
The Season of the Smallest Stars - [ IDW/Stardew Valley Crossover ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
Supremely cute. I love all the little adventures everyone gets to go on.
The Tyrant's Consideration - [ Earthspark ] - Megatron/Terran!Reader || Megatron&Terran!Reader - Oneshot
Crashout Relations - [ G1-ish ] - Thundercracker/Reader || Thundercracker&Reader, Seeker Trine&Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished
I came across this one while putting the list together and I'm so glad for it- it's brilliant and tense so far. A big blue seeker crashes into your backyard and flees (drags himself) into your barn. Your plan of moving to a farm so you'd be left alone doesn't seem to be working out too well...
Very very sweet!! The reader is a Terran who is selectively mute, and they have a run in with Megatron, who turns out to be much less scary than you imagined.
I've included this here because the fic contents isn't Specifically Romantic, and also from what I understand of ES, the Terrans are usually portrayed to have a familial relationship to the Cybertronians, but please correct me if I'm wrong!!
Neon-Green Spandex Missile - [ TFP ] - Ongoing/Unfinished
You're a Cybertronian(?) who transforms into a BIKE and your name is... the title. No, seriously that's how you introduce yourself and it's great. Very fun fic!
I.O.U - [ IDW ] - Tarn&Reader - Finished
Weird fae rules and worlds??? Strange size-swapping magics?? Sign me UP. Tiny Tarn is So angy but cute. I adore characters getting tied to one another via unintentional magical pact, it's so fun...
These Caves We Venture Through - [ G1/Earthspark ] - Megatron&Reader, Sideswipe&Reader - Finished
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Series ongoing, fics are finished! You're a kid who stumbles across Megatron while off exploring. Years later, you encounter him again. Very sweet and melancholic at times.
OKAY that's all I've got for reader inserts that aren't just... purely explicit content LMAO.
If I included those I'd be here forever, but yknow, if you are interested in seeing that list... let me know and I'll smash one together in the future (on my. other blog of a sqwyrme-ier sort.) Either way, I'll be putting together the list of other ship fics next :]
Also!! If you have any recs for me, please feel free to drop by my inbox!! I'd love to read them <3
#fic recs#doozis fic recs#velwy.txt#rhjfhdj idk. do i tag this? sure why not#macaddam#transformers#it was so fun putting this together because i kept adding fics and being like. WAIT THIS IS BY THE SAME AUTHOR AS THAT OTHER FIC...#because when i read i just. do not see usernames#too used to tumblr /j#tbh i probably missed quite a few of my favs but thats ok. i have more lists to make in the future.#also i realised i probably miss out on quite a lot of good fic because i dont. peruse the tags for more popular characters *cough cough* op#also megs tag as well. like. i like them but they arent my Favs so i dont go lookin for content.........#anyway ive rambled MORE THAN ENOUGH LIKE GOOD LORD DID YOU SEE THE TEXT AT THE TOP. CJFKFBDK#im gonna post this before i think my way out of it and try adding more fics
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also setting aside 14 shafting so many female characters, papalymo is my roman empire of characters the game doesn't pay lip service to
#there's haurche and y'sayle but then pap just gets shafted and forgotten about#save for in relationship to lyse and even then it's not brought up#i think it's partially on continued unsatisfactory writing w lyse#i can see the threads there if you played 1.0 or are invested in the story and his role there#but for a lot of players it isn't like that + if you didn't start in gridania you are missing a lot of both pap and lyse#which feels like such a disservice to them both#i know lyse has stuff w pap but i wanted more out of it#i wanted him alive in stormblood bc their interactions would have been So Wonderful#the opportunities for friction and development of the both of them and their relationship changing#as lyse takes up this cause#me banging my fists we could have had it allllll#tbh stormblood as a whole is my roman empire#she's got so much potential#she could have been dark like shadowbringers!#there's little bites of what could have been with yotsuyu and the doman arc
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genuinely i do not have anything against the anime adaptation of death note, i actually think it's quite good, but i wish there was more recognition that it is in fact an adaptation directed by a real human being (tetsuro araki/mochizuki saburo) who made creative decisions and explored themes which differed from those in the manga
#i feel like a lot of people have this idea that anime is just 'manga but it moves now'#but it's as much as an adaptation as the live action ones#like it adds in a lot of aesthetic christian iconography and removes some of the buddhist & shinto elements#light's death is completely different (& mikami never turns against him)#there is SO much added to L's death scene and the jarring suddenness of it is removed#light's characterization as a whole is much harsher & his behaviour is more erratic#i actually don't think these were bad decisions -- i think they worked well if you had read the manga first#(which you very possibly had bc it was ludicrously popular)#you got fun little twists and changes every week#but they are decisions#they were never an attempt to faithfully reproduce the original#i feel they're interesting in their own right idk fgjghf it does both the anime and the manga a disservice to treat them#like they're interchangeable
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People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈
Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you
#like he does feel upset seeing shinji in such a vulnerable state and struggling with everything#but it does get overshadowed by excitement mitsuru is like ‘please he just got out of a coma stop being so pushy 😵💫’#hes just so invested he gets to learn so much shit he never even considered before its so interesting#and i think itd be very important that hes much more aware of like limits this time cuz a big strain in his relationship with shinji was#aki being pushy and not understanding shinjis limits and shinji being bad at letting himself have limits and communicating them#and like its very important not to push too hard when recovering from a coma cuz itll just make things worse#its a big adjustment for both of them cuz akihiko definitely has always been told to push harder past limits and to always try to be#stronger and not let yourself stop and its more important now than ever to unlearn that attitude#and shinji is so all or nothing like he either quits too fast or pushes to the point of destruction without communicating anything#so its very easy for him to get trapped in a hopeless spiral when things take time and then get desperate and try too hard#but he gets a lot of encouragement from everyone this time and its sooo weird and annoying and overwhelming but it is nice#also quick tangent like really pisses me off when ppl write shinji just like MIRACULOUSLY SPRINGING OUT of the coma like he just pops awake#gets up and starts running to do shit which tbf the game does it too but its like dude hes been in a like 6 month coma#im not an expert i still got a lotta research to do but i mean theres so much shit hes gonna go through#even if theres no like brain damage youre still gonna have to relearn basic stuff like eating breathing walking and like. general awareness#of your surroundings and who you are and what happened to you and 6 months is so long too so its gonna be rough#im not saying you gotta give him like brain damage but damn at least establish that recovery is lengthy and difficult#his ass is not walking around!!!#also hes still got a lot of mental illness and like did get shot fully believing he deserved to die so like hes also gotta lot of mental#health recovery to be doing like unless he somehow has some magical therapy coma dreams things arent gonna be perfect peachy for him#i get wanting to make everything happy but idk personally i think id rather it be gradual and a struggle cuz its more realistic and like#i think having this character just miraculously be fine is such a disservice like i think he deserves to have love and hope for him even#when its difficult cuz his life will never be easy he’ll never be free from the trauma but that doesnt mean his life isnt worth living#and him being loved unconditionally even though hes a ‘burden’ is so so important to me#i just hate the laziness like wheres the love man wheres the genuine character appreciation#anyway physical therapist aki its canon now hed be so so good at it and hes got personal experience
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↑ i am constantly thinking abt this reply because it is deeply reflective of the general attitude i see displayed toward palamedes, and camilla too, wherein people seem to assume that they are inherently more rational and comparatively unbiased as a whole when compared to everyone else. they are treated as if they are comparatively free from the same confines of thinking that affect other characters; they are characterised as a shining example of a truly equal necromancer-cavalier bond, of loyalty and love, and are treated as if they are perfect geniuses who can do no wrong—an attitude i feel very much inclines people to romanticise their devotion & treat paul's birth as a victorious thing.
@dve i feel summarised this phenomena the best: "i think cam and palamedes are nowhere near as revolutionary as a chunk of the fandom would like for them to be". i'd even go as far as to say that, in their role as foils to gideon and harrow, they are meant to showcase just how damaging the necro-cavalier dichotomy is to the individuals involved. i've spoke on this before but the bond is explicitly modelled on the example of john & alecto—which is already not ideal—and was built on a foundation of deception, with john hiding the fact the lyctoral process did not necessarily have to end with the death of the cavalier: the sacrifice of the cavalier is baked into it, because the history of cavaliership is indelibly tied into the avoidable deaths of the first cavaliers.
the equality ascribed to their bond is based on their seeming inversion of the exploitative nature of the necro-cav bond—compared to silas' siphoning colum, it seems improbable to say that they are anything but true equals who break away from the model, revolutionary in nature. they are devoted to each other, endlessly loyal! to the point camilla will violate the wishes and autonomy of palamedes in the name of her devotion.
camilla frames the fact she cannot sustain both of their souls in her body as her being weak, as opposed to being a product of the reality maintaining two souls in a single body the way they are doing is extraordinarily difficult and unnatural, doing herself a disservice in the process, because in her eyes she is failing in her duty to him.
his presence in her body is killing them both, and she frames this as [their] choice, but then wants pyrrha to lie to him about the fact it's killing her: meaning his choice would be based on her exploiting his absence in this moment, on a deception.
they can't keep this up forever, it is killing them both, but camilla's devotion to him means she won't accept that and doesn't want to give him reason to vacate her body. she wants pyrrha to lie—even though it's killing him too!—because she doesn't want to let him choose to let her live at the cost of his own life.
her death is avoidable but her role and her duty is to die for him, to sacrifice, to hold the sword for her necromancer. she won't let him, the necromancer, choose the cavalier's life because it is intended to be used by him—a soul to be eaten. she won't let him choose, violates his wishes and autonomy in the name of her devotion to him; i personally don't think equality in a relationship is based around denying the other their autonomy and lying to them, do you? and in this moment, camilla is treating herself as expendable, their inevitable death as inconsequential because it prolongs palamedes for as long as possible.
palamedes, conversely, has a very interesting perspective on lyctorhood:
he presumes that the original lyctors, the first necromancers and their cavaliers, sought to merge themselves from the start and that they achieved this incompletely. he posits the existence of true lyctorhood; palamedes views two becoming one, one being two, as something admirable, a truth not yet seen—grand instead of petty.
we also see somebody else who expresses a similiar belief in a perfected lyctorhood, one of the original lyctors, mercymorn the first:
the original lyctors did not seek out to merge with their cavalier, their other half in necro-cav terms, and only did so as a result of a lie, the idea of a one-way energy transfer. from mercymorn's perspective true lyctorhood is a process that preserves the cavalier; from palamedes' perspective true lyctorhood is a process that merges the cavalier and necromancer to form something new, the truest response to the call of "one flesh, one end" yet seen. palamedes' conception of lyctorhood is removed from the original context of lyctorhood's formation, and is shaped heavily by the ideals of the society he and cam were raised in.
If the cavalier and the necromancer do not take "one flesh, one end" as a maxim for their passion for each other, their bond is nonexistent. They must each take the other as their ideal. […] Their love is the love that fears only for the other: the love of service on both sides. Some have tried to characterise this relationship as the cavalier's obedience to the necromancer, but the necromancer must be in turn obedient to the needs of the cavalier without being asked or prompted: theirs is arguably the heavier burden. — Tamsyn Muir, A Sermon on Cavaliers and Necromancers
suffice to say, i do not think paul is a defiance of the empire's ideals, so much as a perfected expression of them; paul is the embodiment of the love of service on both ends, the product of a mutual death. their choice to die as two to become one was exactly in line with what a necromancer and a cavalier are intended to do.
"One flesh" is the underpinning of our whole Empire [...] One end is one empire. — Tamsyn Muir, A Sermon on Cavaliers and Necromancers
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i'm feeling controversial today so here's another hot take. and before you type away at your keyboards, know that this is all coming from a south asian.
white leftists have got to stop acting like christianity is the only religion that deserves to be criticized and you cannot touch any other religion because that'd be racist and bigoted. because as an indian who's watching my country progress towards hindu nationalism, this attitude doesn't help at all.
white people see hinduism as this exotic brown religion that's so much more progressive but don't know the violence of the caste system, how it others a large portion of the population on the basis of caste, literally branding them as "untouchables". they teach us in school that this problem is a thing of the past but the caste system is still alive and shows itself in violent ways. and that's not even covering how non hindus are treated in the country. muslims especially are being killed, have their houses bulldozed, businesses destroyed, and are being denied housing, our fucking prime minister called them infiltrators and there's this fear among hindu extremists that they'll outnumber the hindus in the country. portraying hinduism as this exotic religion does a disservice to all those oppressed by the hindutva ideology
similarly, white people see buddhism as this hippie religion that's all about peace but have no idea how extremist buddhists in myanmar have been persecuting the rohingya muslims for years and drive them out of the country.
if anything portraying these religions as exotic hippie brown religions is a type of orientalism itself.
and also y'all have got to realize that just because christianity has institutional power in america doesn't mean there aren't parts of the world where they are persecuted on the basis of religion. yes karen from florida who cries christophobia because she sees rainbow sprinkles on a cake is stupid but christian oppression DOES exist in non western countries where they're a minority. pakistani christians get lynched almost on a daily basis over blasphemy accusations. just look up the case of asia bibi, a pakistani christian woman who was sentenced to death on blasphemy charges because of something she said when she was being denied water because it was "forbidden" for a christian and a muslim to drink from the same utensil and she'd made it unclean just by touching it (which is ALSO rooted in casteism and part of pakistani christians' oppression also comes from the fact that a lot of them are dalit but that's a whole other discussion). and that's just one christian group, this isn't even going into what copts, assyrians, armenians etc have faced and continue to face. saying that christians everywhere are privileged because of american christianity actually harms christian minorites in non western countries.
and one last thing because this post is getting too long: someone being anti america doesn't automatically mean they're the good guys. too many times i've been seeing westerners on twitter dot com praise the fucking taliban just because they hate america. yes, the same taliban who banned education for women, thinks women should be imprisomed at home, and consistently oppresses religious and ethnic minorities in afghanistan. yes, america's war on afghanistan was bad and they SHOULD be called out for their war crimes there. no, the taliban are still not the good guys. BOTH of them are bad. you cannot pretend to care about muslims and brown people if you praise the taliban. because guess what? most of their victims are BROWN MUSLIM WOMEN. but of course white libs who praise them don't rub their two braincells together to make that conclusion.
this post has gotten too long and i've just been rambling so the point of this post is: white "leftists" whose politics are primarily america centric should stop acting like criticism of ideologies like hindutva, buddhist extremism, and islamic extremism BY people affected by these ideologies is the same as racism or religious intolerance because that helps literally no one except the extremist bigots. also america is not the centre of the world, just because something isn't happening in america doesn't mean it isn't happening elsewhere
#islamophobes do not fucking touch this post i swear#also talked more about india - and south asia in general - because i'm indian so i can speak on south asian issues more#this post got longer than i intended it#also didn't want to use the term islamist because that term has been primarily used by zionists and islamophobes#tagging all the countries i mentioned here#religion#india#pakistan#myanmar#afghanistan#rebecca talks
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While the breakup was inevitable (especially if you read the comics), I think the show handled it phenomenally with it being even better than how it was done in the comics. Steven Yeun and Zazie Beetz absolutely killed it in this scene with you really being able to hear the heartbreak in both of their voices as Mark and Amber realize that for as much as they love each other, they can't make this relationship work. Then you have the "I can't live in your world, I want to, but I can't." which👏👏👏. That is some absolute peak writing. I haven't consumed many stories that actually treat the breakup as a heartbreaking moment for both characters involved since it's usually just treated as a minor obstacle to prevent the main romance from happening sooner. While I'm fine with that in some cases, I feel like it's a disservice when the main character's temporary love interest is a genuinely interesting and fun character who has a good rapport with them. In that same regard, it has been a nice change of pace to see characters who do care for each other attempt to make things work and talk about the issues before accepting that what they have just isn't going to work.
It's also a good commentary on the nature of superhero/civilian relationships since while someone like Debbie was able to handle the stress of it, Amber isn't able to do so. And that doesn't make her weak or a pushover, it makes her human because not everyone is built to handle that kind of life and it's totally understandable.
#pc thoughts#Invincible#amazon invincible#Mark Grayson#Invincible Amber#amber bennett#Mark x Amber#Mark and Amber#Debbie grayson#Nolan grayson#Omni Man#Seeing how this series handled#the breakup and comparing it#to how Star vs handled the breakups#makes me even more annoyed with how dirty#Star vs did so many characters#The Jarco breakup was heartwrenching#But more still could have been done#With Jackie and her#relationship with Marco#Then there's the whole Tomstar situation#And Kellco was completely pointless
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It is very true that this "kid-glove explaining" IS sometimes the only way to get any assistance at all, and that this is absolutely not the fault of the disabled people who have been put in so horrible a position by their ableist loved ones. You have to do what you must to survive.
But i just want to emphasize how it is also true that the labor of these kinds of repeated forced-calm explanations can be extremely harmful for the disabled person long-term.
I say this because I THOUGHT I had made progress with teaching my family, but in fact I had only gained a LOT of additional trauma and grief during a time when I desperately needed non-ableist support.
I was sick and in crisis for years, and during that time, I repeatedly spent the energy i could have used to ask friends for help on instead begging my family to learn how to stop hLeping me and start Helping me.
This genuinely endangered my life on multiple occasions. Imagine the difference between getting immediate help bailing water out of your sinking ship (ex. my friend Laura metaphorically jumping into my boat with buckets and pumps and no judgment), and having to instead stand in your increasingly-sinking ship explaining (so SO gently or else they will dismiss you entirely, even though the water is creeping up to your neck) to someone that "actually no, adding water to my boat doesn't help please PLEASE just bail it out; I cannot emphasize enough that I can't swim why do I have to keep saying that? no I don't think I could have avoided that hurricane and it hurts that you keep asking; no I am not faking it - why would I fake this?? What kind of person do you think I am??" - as they allow the water to creep up to your chin. That's the difference between help and hLep.
Also, a helper wants you to have all the help you could possibly need, and they recognize that they almost certainly can't provide you with everything you need on their own. (Ex. My partner can't help me with panic attacks most of the time due to her own mental illness. But she helps with all sorts of other stuff, communicates her limits, and actively encourages me to rely on my friends for support.)
Meanwhile, a hLeper might be offended that you would even want ANYONE'S assistance besides their own because it isn't about *your need,* it is about *their pride.*
If the people around me *get angry at me for being angry* when THEY are the ones who hurt ME, then I no longer want them around me. And I hope to have the skill and the privilege to be able to stay in control of that. I hope someday we all can have that.
And to every disabled person stuck waiting for better days: Please survive in the meantime because your survival is the key to a better future for us. It will be better with you there. I don't care if you disagree with me; you won't persuade me otherwise - I am a stubborn Jack. I want you there. Disabled survival is an act of radical resistance. You, along with the other contributiors to this post, are Punk As Fuck.
I go into these concepts some more in this version of the post.
[Also, if you have any trouble reading the opening paragraphs of this post, I edited the original post into a more dyslexic-friendly version, and I've tried to include that link in every version of the post that I refer to.]
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hlep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you ask for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hlep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hlep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it helps reinforce the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hleper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
#original#ableism cw#I'm really happy that the person who added the initial comment to this post has made progress with their mother but#I know a lot of people who would benefit a lot more from no longer having to rely on ableist people at all#not your fault if that is impossible right now. but i got stuck in a loop trying to make tiny inches of progress with my family#for so long that it endangered my life multiple times. and that's why i wish this version of the post was shared less. tbh.#because if someone needs kid-gloves explaining then this is a red flag and they have done you a disservice#and you gotta think really hard about their patterns of behavior relative to what information you've given them when. write it down even.#this post has been brought to you by 'i desperately apologized 2 dozen times for yelling at my big sister#but she didn't apologize for endangering my life bc i was MORE IN THE WRONG in her and my other sister's opinions bc i got angry about it!'#guess what! anger is good and important sometimes!#and it is not inherently unkind to be angry or even to shout if it is a matter of self-defense!#it's absolute llamas with hats 'well you said i did a bad thing and that hurts my feelings. wow. now we're both in the wrong.'#like 'KAARRRLLL. You almost killed your brother Karl!!!!'#emotional abuse#in fact the only reason I even learned about this phrase in the first place was because I talked to my therapist about how#my family says that i didn't ask for help enough when i was in crisis and she just went...#yeah but they don't offer help they offer hLep. and then they blame you and your communication skills.#mind fucking BLOWN tbh#turns out the most progress I've ever made w my family i achieved not through concessions but thru hard boundaries#which was a huge privilege on my part bc if i had less savings and my wife didn't have wealthy parents#then i would not have had the power to have as many boundaries with my family#hLep is the fault of the hLeper not the person they are doing it to
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just thinking of softly reconnecting with vi after so many years apart :c
let’s say after the explosion happened you had stuck together with ekko, helping him build and nurture the firelights from the ground up into the thriving community it is today. after coming to terms with what you’d lost and possibly losing jinx sooner or later, you saw ekko as the only family you had left and trusted him more than any one or anything.
which is why she when he gets back from some secretive day trip he’d gone out on he brings you with him to see what he’d found - who he had found.
for the first few seconds you thought she was a ghost, a cruel trick your mind was playing on you by projecting your fears of being scared for ekko into your dead best friend, more than your friend, into what she’d look like today if she was still by your side. if everything that had happened simply didn’t.
but before you can react she’s slipping out of her cuffs (you’d always told ekko that he never fastened them tight enough for zaunites) and lifting you in her arms,your brain catching up and getting out all the buried emotions in the force of your hug.
once you both calm down she explains everything, always so open to you, how she had been taken and thrown in still water for years and had gotten out just less than a day ago, she’d never leave you and ekko and jin powder behind, not even to save her own skin from the destruction of that day.
and as much as the explanation calmed you you knew and reassured her you didn’t need it, taking her hand in yours and pressing it to your chest, heart swelling at the tears appearing at the corners of her eyes.
she and her companion are given only a few days to rest and heal with the firelight’s before they need to return some weird important blue gem they’d found, but until then you don’t leave vi’s side. you show her around the base, make sure she’s eating an actual meal for the first time in years, and that she’s not straining her injury whether she’d gotten it healed by shimmer or not.
by the time night falls you can slowly but surely see the energy coming back to her body. well, spiritually, not physically. you show her to one of the spare quarters for new firelights. you don't have a choice but to join her when her hand tightens around your wrist and drags you in with her, plopping the both of you on the plush of the bed.
its cute how she almost seems to melt into it, lashes fluttering and looking on the near brink of sleep in only five seconds before your giggling brings her back, reluctantly moving so that you can scoot into bed behind her.
you can tell she’s still on edge when you gently place your hand on her head, taking care to use gentle movements as you move her to lie on top of you so you don’t disturb her. you can see the scars on her back peeking out from under her shirt and it takes everything in you to blink away the tears forming. there was a time when vi would initiate affection with you so earnestly, wrapping you and her other loved ones into her arms until your stomach felt like it'd burst from love. and now she was rigid at you softly brushing her hair.
clearly, your silence and reluctance make it obvious why you’re being so delicate because she gives a brief explanation of what happened to her in stillwater, her breath quietly hitching in parts where she can't hide how deeply what happened affected her. by the time she's done you can feel stray tears falling down your face, hands trembling as you hug her ever closer to you.
she buries herself impossibly closer to you, lashes tickling your chest as she press her lips to your sternum in an act so desperate you think calling it a kiss is a disservice. you can feel her relax as you start to brush her hair and talk to her aimlessly, about all of the things she's missed, things you cant wait to show her now that she's back.
it's the best night's sleep she had in years.
#idk the pitfighter clip made me sad#i just wanna cuddle her :c#arcane#arcane x reader#vi#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi x reader fluff
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I don't know how unpopular this opinion is but I strongly hold the position that society today seems unable to differentiate "Art" from entertainment, and this blurring of lines harms both. _ what do you mean?
What I mean to say is that society nowadays fails to recognize the fundamental differences between art and entertainment. Thinking that they are the same or interchangeable does a disservice to both. To me, it's not an "art vs. entertainment" situation. Rather than opposing them, the distinction lies in recognizing their complementary roles because a healthy individual needs both art and entertainment, but for very different reasons.
Entertainment, of course, entertains us; it delights and validates us by affirming our existing beliefs and emotions. It's there to make us feel good — a safe space that doesn't challenge us, as it has been created specifically for our needs and is catering to our preferences. However, it leaves us unchanged and not transformed. Entertainment is produced because there is a public demand for it.
Art, on the other hand, is meant to change and transform us. It's not always delightful, entertaining or self-affirming. On the contrary, it can sometimes feel like an attack on our beliefs and the reality we think we’re living in. Art can be uncomfortable, even disruptive, and by being so, it forces us to engage with it on a deeper level, challenging our perspectives and encouraging us to evolve. Unlike entertainment, art is not made because there is public demand for it. To be more precise, the demand for art exists, but it doesn't come from us — the public; art meets the demands of the time. Real artists are those who can discern the lessons and demands of the time and make them digestible for the public. While entertainment caters to an audience’s desires, art challenges its audience, often presenting ideas or emotions they may not have asked for but need to confront. It’s not about pleasing or fulfilling expectations; instead, art serves as a catalyst for intellectual and emotional growth, pushing society to reflect, adapt and progress.
My beloved Armenian poet Paruyr Sevak has a very thought-provoking piece that, I think, is about real artists. I'll present a rough translation: "They come unoften, yet never too late. / They are born at exactly the right time. / And they get ahead of time itself, / Which is why they are not forgiven".
The role of a true artist goes far beyond technical skill or the ability to produce aesthetically pleasing works that will be liked by many and, thus, make a fortune. A true artist serves as a visionary, a truth-teller and a catalyst for change. They push us to reflect deeply and think critically about the world around us. This is why, in the absence of such people (and I strongly believe that we live in such times), individuals become more susceptible to propaganda, manipulation or conformity, as there are fewer voices prompting them to critically examine their environment. Additionally, without these voices, society loses touch with its emotional depth, becoming more disconnected, indifferent and apathetic to the suffering or experiences of others.
True artists are what we need today. There are many discussions held online about whether today’s celebrities should address "political" issues and the problems we face as humans.
My answer to this is no, at least not for everyone that society considers an "artist." Most of these individuals are mere entertainers who are there solely for entertainment purposes (I would be quick to add that some of them even fail at that). Dozens of them can't even form comprehensive sentences in their mother tongues; how can we expect them to express trustworthy opinions on grave issues? This is one of the reasons why it is highly dangerous to confuse entertainment with art.
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I'm sitting here rewatching Tua S3 for reasons, and one interesting thing I picked up is that the entire season is really just each of the Umbrellas struggling to define and searching for family in their own way. Here's me laying down some thoughts for y'all:
Luther - For him, family has always been about the team. That's part of the reason he's so drawn to the Sparrows, bc at first they seem to have the cohesiveness that the Umbrellas lacked. Remember, Luther was the last one left at the Academy, then Reginald sent him to the moon alone. So of course seeing a "functional" team is going to be compelling for him, and he desperately wants to be part of it. And then he and Sloane quickly fall in love and for the first time in his entire life, someone wants him for him. It's intoxicating and utterly consuming NRE that is more powerful than anything he's ever felt.
Diego and Lila - For these two, it's about figuring out how to be a family. Both together, but also a little bit with the other Umbrellas. Diego looking out for Allison and Klaus and Lila and Five coming to a truce are part of this - more about Lila and Five in a sec.
Allison - In her mind, her family is Claire and Ray. This one is obvious, but I also think that the writers did us a disservice by not letting us into Allison's perspective. If you think about it, it's completely normal for a parent to put their child above all. While I don't defend her actions, her motivation could have been more compelling and it would have strengthened her character. But sadly she's the character on the show that is most "othered" (which is bad for many reasons)
Klaus - he really dug deep into individual relationships w family, starting with Five (e2 and 5 Five and Klaus bonding are still some of the best bits of the season imo), Diego, Reginald, Sparrow Ben, and then Luther in the afterlife.
Five - Five remains a pragmatist. His bar for family is very low - success for him means the Umbrellas being alive, no matter what the personal cost or sacrifice to him or to some extent others. It is somewhat depressingly delightful to see how he makes his peace with the end of the world as the season progresses. Before that, however, I'd like to meander back to e3 and 4 where Lila convinces him to electrocute himself and then they go on the Commission mission. Both of the actors do a fine job here bouncing back and forth between witty banter and genuine emotion and I love it. It's a quick and subtle piece of dialogue when Five explains how he saved Lila from the Handler. The undertone is that they were both abused by that woman in a similar way - ultimately, she developed and kept them both as pawns in her own game. And I think Five, starting in S2E10 and fleshed out through S3, develops genuine empathy for and eventually acceptance of Lila as family, as one of them, because of this shared experience.
Viktor - Like Viktor in all seasons, he continues to feel out of place with the Umbrellas and compensates by over-prioritizing his relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with him that he lost real love with Sissy and Halan, but I also think Allison was 100% valid to call him out on his lying in E6, and it was on point to verbalize how the constant focus on Viktors pain minimizes her (and everyone else's) experience. (Edit to add: Viktor finally seems to get the message on this, after being called out by Allison, then subsequently both Sparrow Ben and Five, and spends the last few episodes trying to make amends. Real character development here and I like to see it)
Reginald - Well, his overarching motivation since S1 has always been bringing back his dead wife, so I won't belabor that, but also it's interesting to see how he interacted with Klaus particularly - esp in E7 when he sobers up it seems he is experimenting with remembering his role as a father. Now we don't get a ton about his internal motivation here, but you can tell there is some mild curiosity, if not affection, for Klaus, despite the fact that he ultimately is cool with sacrificing him.
Some of these are more obvious than others, but when you tie them all together, the idea that they are all desperately looking for family and the blind spots that that creates for them, some of the messiness of S3 starts to make a bit more sense.
#well the first time i fucked up and didnt realize my thoughts on sloane didn't make it in#sorry bout that#mulligan#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua#klaus hargreeves#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#tua s3#diego hargreeves#lila pitts#reginald hargreeves
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One thing (among many) that Midst does incredibly well is that the narrators use character death as a narrative tool expertly. Every death in the series does something and each death tends to have a narrative weight that's proportional to the narrative weight the deceased character had while alive.
Stationary Hill's Postmaster and Agatha Ledge are both minor characters whose deaths, while they are felt by the characters who knew them in universe, mostly serve to highlight the danger the other characters find themselves in, as the Moon Tearror hits Stationary Hill and the remaining Breach members (and Jonas Spahr) are plummeting through a razor-sharp mica field respectively. Meryl Concord is likewise a fairly minor character whose death serves both to mirror her brother Atticus's* (more on him later) and usher in the final phase of the conflict against Weepe by showing the how dangerous the heaving mass of tearror unleashed from his puppeteered body is. All these deaths serve to establish the lethal stakes of the situations each death occurs in, but are ultimately not dwelt upon too long by the narrative. This works because these are minor characters; they had little enough presence that the story can swiftly move on in their absence without feeling like a disservice to them.
Milton Fleit Sr. and Imelda Goldfinch are both antagonistic characters who ultimately die fairly ignoble deaths that the narrative doesn't dwell too long on, largely because, as the finale itself points out in regards to Imelda, none of the living characters we follow care enough about either of them to dwell on their deaths. But despite his both their deaths are heavily symbolically loaded. Milton Fleit Sr. dies in the same moment that Valor dies and the Trust begins bleeding out. Imelda Goldfinch dies in the moment that all her scheming to get Weepe in control of the Trust because she believes the Trust needs a man like him to lead it comes to nothing because Weepe at this point is a dying, broken man aggressively lashing out at everything around him. The narrative spends little time dwelling on the deaths of the characters themselves, and that works despite how important of a character Imelda in particular was, because it serves to highlight that ultimately, both of their lives, spent devoted heart and soul to the Trust, came to absolutely nothing because the Trust died with them.
Atticus Concord, Fuze Peabody, and Kozma Lazlo are important secondary characters whose deaths end up as catalysts for major plot developments later in the story. Atticus, in his attempt to blackmail Weepe and Saskia over the Black Candle Cabaret's role in the Breach route, ended up both murdered by Weepe and providing him with the means to facilitate his raise into the upper echelons of Trust society (in the form of his meticulously documented notes on every Breached employee of the Cabaret). His death is also the reason Meryl enters the story and avenging him is the reason she stabs Weepe and in doing so directly shapes the final confrontation between Midst's three protagonists. Fuze's murder after informing Phineas and Spahr via letter that he had information about the Trust's most infamous murder case resulted in Phineas' attack on Sherman in the Cabaret, Phineas impulsively running off after Tzila in a desperate bid to avoid Spahr saying he'd failed, Sherman selling Lark out to the Trust, and the Trust's focus throughout season 3 on finding Lark in order to solve to the economic crisis caused by Midst's moon exploding. Kozma's death at the hands of Weepe after threatening the Upper Trust is the trigger for the Breach's attack on the Central Vault, which is what ushers in the final act of the story. It is also the moment in which we learn that before he was Moc Weepe that character was a Fold Baron whom the other Barons, spearheaded by Kozma, attempted to murder by throwing him into the Fold Depths in a mica sarcophagus.** These characters were all major drivers of certain aspects of the plot in life, and they remained so in death, with each one of their demises having ripple effects that lasted through to the end of the story. The deaths of all three of these characters were also very heavily telegraphed. Weepe threatens Atticus on their first meeting with death if he's fucking with the Cabaret, Fuze is introduced as a man who is going to be murdered before too long, and Kozma's death is foreshadowed in the episode icon for "Baron", which shows someone's red blood in Weepe's pump apparatus.
The two most plot-central characters to die***, Moc Weepe and Saskia del Norma likewise had their deaths telegraphed to the audience in advance of them actually happening, with the narrators describing Weepe's happenstance first meeting with Imelda Goldfinch as spelling his doom and the way Saskia looks at Sherman, and tells him to go on without her at the end of "Shindig" signalling that something major is happening with her other body in the Highest Light and that whatever it is is not good for her. These deaths also were both given a lot of narrative breathing room. Saskia's death is in many ways the primary narrative subject of not only "Ghosts", the episode in which she has her final confrontation with Weepe before expiring, but also "Shindig", the episode that showed us why she made the choice to shred the remaining explosive beads at the cost of one of her bodies (and eventually her life). This post here is a great breakdown of how key an episode "Shindig" is in understanding Saskia and her motivations at the end. As mentioned above the narrators called Weepe's doom as early as season 1, and in many ways the entire series was a slow build towards his demise, especially after Imelda's actions (and Spahr's inactions) in "Inside" lead to a drastic worsening of his Fold condition. Weepe's immanent death hangs over "Ghosts" as much as Saskia's does, as Mother Trauma says, Saskia doesn't have long, but neither does Weepe. The finale also takes time out of the frenetic pacing of the final battle to have a quiet moment with the last remaining exhausted flicker of Moc Weepe, to show that above all else he is just tired and wants to finally rest. These deaths are given a lot of time to sit and settle because these are central characters, and their deaths have as much narrative weight as their lives do. As well, in Saskia's case, she remains central to the plot after her death, as it is what drives Weepe into the despair fueled rampage that he spends the final two episodes of the show in, and it is in her name that the Stationarians charge Weepe and the Company.
Every character who dies in Midst has their death count for something, in a narrative sense, but how much that death is doing is proportional to the weight the character had in the narrative while alive, and that helps make each death feel appropriate, narratively earned and appropriately impactful.
*Meryl Concord is Weepe's last onscreen victim, just as her brother is his first, and they both die the same way, being horribly dissolved by the Fold strain in his blood.
**The word "sarcophagus" is also used to describe what Lark creates to contain the leaking Fold from Weepe's corpse. Moc Weepe began and ended in a sarcophagus of glittering material, the first which excited Fold and the second which calmed it.
***It's debatable whether or not Lark's fate counts as "dead", as it seems she more became a permanent part of the Fold than anything else. Regardless, the pattern still applies, Lark's acceptance of the Fold and it's acceptance of her has been a part of her arc from the beginning of the show, and the moment where she joined it was another quiet moment in an action packed finale that was allowed to breathe and settle with the audience.
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nine people i want to get to know better
Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.
Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.
Fave color: Purple
Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery
Last movie: Knives Out
Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty
Relationship: married x 27 years
Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".
Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.
@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.
Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.
I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.
If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.
Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.
Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop
@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.
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Asriel could easily be like the god of familial love, of hopes and dreams, partnerships (friendships, companionship, puppy love if you must) and children/youth and then when he's flowey he could be the god of betrayal and spite, ala nemesis and eris. Still rooted in the ideas of love but twisted into what happens when love turns sour. Still a god of youth but also a god of lost time. Actually making him a minor god of time would also really work to tie into his character. Him being Pandora and the box at the same time would be interesting.
Transcript: ooh are we talking about reapertale? okay time to bring flowey into it because i was actually thinking about him recently—
first off, unrelated tangent, i think they did chara pretty decently? like, they used to be kind, but they were betrayed by monsterkind, etc etc. i like that, it honestly brings up what i think is a tragically unexplored part of their character. they hate monsterkind in some way for being so nice, and i think that’s why we can drive them to support genocide so quickly. i do think they shouldn’t have been evil right off the bat, of course, but hey! they’re a mythological figure. that stuff happens a lot in mythology, and more importantly it works in tangent to undertale.
flowey, though. god. amnesia does not suit him. they stripped him of character and expected him to still be flowey. it’s illogical. really reflects the early fandom’s perception of flowey and asriel as entirely different people. like being a flower makes you want to kill people or something. smh.
sorry i turned the topic to flowey but like. does he have to be the embodiment of despair. him being obsessed with chara is in-character i guess but he does it in such an out-of-character way. honestly that’s a big problem with every au! they make him a sweet little guy without actually addressing the roots of his canon problems. i mean, that or they make him the living embodiment of evil. they gave him the chara treatment, seriously.
he has so many layers though. it’s hard to fit him into one category. personally i’d make him some kind of pandora’s box thing. like an embodiment of the world’s pestilences where he used to be a closed box. helps highlight that he didn’t change, the box was always there, dying just opened it.
that might not make any sense. but man i’m tired of people making flowey chara’s lapdog. when in genocide he clearly sees himself as a partner in crime, at least until the end. (and then he defies them and ruins the whole killing humanity thing. so.) and don’t even get me started on pacifist. he tries to kill you repeatedly because he thinks you’re chara.
flowey is driven by (platonic!!) love. but it’s not the soft love you see on greeting cards or tv. it’s angry love. aggressive love. he’d do anything for the person he loves. even kill them.
honestly, maybe flowey would work better as a god of love. (yes i headcanon him as aroace but still.) “asriel” is soft, caring love. hugs and kisses and warm blankets and all that. “flowey” is the kind of love that slaps you in the face to get you up in the morning. he’s possessive, angry, passionate.
WHOO this got long.
#reapertale has the problems of having incredibly interesting concepts#but ignoring them to focus on shipping#which isint bad per say it IS a soriel au at its heart#its just not a very GOOD soriel au since it ignores some of the most important characters and themes that tie back into toriel and sans#asriel being a minor god of youth and familial love favoring the mortal chara and then becoming 'corrupted' (for lack of a better word)#after their untimely death to where he starts to loath the humans who killed them and the monsters that allowed it to happen#that he looses those traits that made him a god of youth and adopts a new domain as a god of time would be very interesting#does asriel even die in reapertale? hes mentioned but his death isint as big a deal as charas and its kinda confusing?#chara dies and then he just...disappears and turns into flowey.#i think him 'cursing' humanity once chara dies would be better. maybe he tries to intervene and thats how he dies.#and gets reborn as 'flowey'#i also dont like frisk just being an 'emmisary of mercy' what does that even mean#EDIT i had more thoughts. mainly about why i dont like reapertale soriel#its turns what was a friendship to lovers story into an enemies to lover story which could work if it didint change such key aspects of who#they both are as characters as well as the roles they play in OG ut. i feel like when making aus of ships changing their situations is good#but you should keep a semblance of the original dynamic and who they are as characters.#which is another reason i dont really like frisk in the au since they just exist to 'fix' chara from what i remember#honestly Chara actually dying and not being an anomly from the get go would give frisk and flowey a chance to do something#perhaps in her grief at loosing both of her children she creates frisk in their image and this is why flowey mistakes frisk for chara#you could also have flowey trying to befriend the papyrus of the au under the guise of getting chara back#Frisk being a minor god/nymph would also work pretty well for them maybe taking over floweys domain as a new god of youth (all the more#reason for him to feel like hes being replaced)#floweys a very interesting character especially in his relation to toriel sans frisk and chara and the au ONLY focus on his relationship#with chara which really does him a disservice. (and its definitely because the creator ships charasriel. never seen a charasriel shipper#that didint horrifically misunderstand both of their characters since them being siblings and best friends is so much more interesting than#them being together. not to mention that its incest )
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Catarina Claes and Low Self-Esteem - A Ramble
Here's a draft I was saving for after I wrote my Plurality of Catarina Claes post, but I haven't done that and don't feel like it, so I'm posting this anyway...
I was thinking about Catarina while scrolling through the Crunchyroll comments describing her as denser than a black hole, which while funny the first time, and the second, starts to wear on you by the hundredth.
I mean, I get a community having running jokes, but I'm talking literally every episode has at least one person saying this, and sometimes multiple.
The thing about these comments is... they're not wrong. Catarina can be really dense and oblivious. It's one of her defining character traits. Everyone knows it...
But... I think there's more to it than this where it concerns her love interests.
Catarina, in my opinion, doesn't recognize that people love her because she sees herself as unlovable.
Putting Ourselves In Catarina's Shoes
Imagine for a moment that you've always been the strange girl at school.
You have one close friend. You've never had a romantic partner. You're a disappointment to your parents who see you as just some lazy girl. And then, at 17, you die completely unaccomplished. A failure.
You get a new life though. You're reborn with no memory of who you used to be.
And the person you are now... is a brat. A spoiled rich brat who hurts everyone around her. Then you get hit on the head and have memories from your last life flood your brain.
Now there are two very different lives in your head, but there are common themes in them.
In both, you have a mom who puts you down at every turn. In both, you haven't really known love before.
And on top of all of that, you realize that your new life is as a villain. A rival who is supposed to compete with the heroine for a man who doesn't love her. Someone who only agreed to be engaged with her to avoid other offers.
This is your destiny.
And it confirms everything terrible your parents told you about who you are across two lives.
By the time she enrolls in the magic academy, she's had over 30 years to internalize her sense of worthlessness, and nearly a decade to internalize her destiny as a villain who exists only to be a rival in someone else's story.
Catarina Isn't Just Oblivious. She's In Denial.
She's built an entire self-concept around being the unlovable villainess that she literally cannot fathom anyone having genuine romantic feelings for her.
Even while she loves her friends (platonically), she's still convinced through the series that they're going to kill or exile her in the end.
No matter how many times people drop hints or even outright tell Catarina they love her, she can't accept that.
All in all, I feel dismissing Catarina's obliviousness as her just being dense (which again, she is) does a disservice to the character.
#catarina claes#my next life as a villainess#my next life as a villianess all routes lead to doom#hamefura#otome game#anime#anime series#mental health#denial#animation#crunchyroll#katarina claes
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